switzerland is limited. by what? yes we have a healty system, good finances, gorgeous places, multicultural food and here its very clean. but our bdsm comunity is....small, only 2 principal places lausanne on the center switzerland and zurich on the north. most of the kinkster are spreaded around the country not knowing other ways than classified website. rare knows fetlife.. no one know website like this one. if youre lucky and do shibari or even soft bdsm you can find youre partner or even more. but if youre like me with a lot of kinks, more passionate, curious and creative, your unfortunate... you will need to be very pacient or...search outside... then the only way is to find person who can relocate themself, and this type of person are rare. because a lot want your money/scam, others prefer only online, or even you can find fantaisist person searching only to excite themself and when things turn real they stop. thats tiring and difficult to filter all this mess, ive been thinking for a long time but for me switzerland is not a good place for bdsm, theres a lot of countries better like USA, germany, france but only in paris, ive been thinking if asian country have better community too, like china, korea or even japan.   i hope someday i will find someone diversified like me to like a total lifestyle.

Master's WritingsFoundations: Deep Honesty and the Butterfly EffectAs I see it, there are three core elements, communication, trust and honesty, that together form the foundation for feeling safe as we explore the lifestyle. Each element is interdependent with the others, and intertwined in such a way that to fail any one breaks them all, leaving us unsure and at risk, while when they all work right, we feel able to explore the greatest depths imaginable.With regard to honesty, we, in the lifestyle, are far better equipped to get it right than anywhere within the vanilla world. Power dynamics, the emotional nakedness of play and the acceptance of near infinite diversity among our interests and population make total honesty far more achievable within the lifestyle than others then you might think.Yet honesty can suffers from the crushing weight of a single butterflies wing. As children, we learn to lie because we get away and it always starts with the smallest of lies or the things we hide from those we love. As we grow, we believe that lying is acceptable with those we love and in society in general. This acceptance allows us to learn to lie even to ourselves, and as we mature, we discover that we have grown comfortable being false to others and even to ourself. We no longer know what is authentic and the distance between those close to us grows and decays. And we wonder why. In fact, as a society, we have entered an age where falsehood and lying is now the norm and an accepted practice.In a dynamic where “Total Honesty” is practiced, lies are never allowed, not in part nor in full, not even lies of omission or hidden truths of any kind. Sharing is always total, free and open. The freedom of an open mind and heart is the only acceptable mindset. While nearly all in the lifestyle preach this in one form or another, we must be aware of the impact of that single small butterfly wing. For just like the child growing up, a single allowance of a hidden feeling, an uncomfortable truth left unspoken, or a fear not communicated, has the potential to become habit forming and thereafter impact and erode the beauty and depth of a dynamic. A hidden feeling can undermine the understanding one partner has for the other. An uncomfortable truth can lead to the birth of resentment and anger when not spoken where it is allowed to fester. A fear left unchecked causes stress, clouds the mind, undercut trust, causes stagnation and allows anxieties to run unchecked or worse.Within a dynamic, the expectation and practice must be to understand the impact, the cause and effect, of that single delicate wing of the smallest of lies and/or omissions, remaining fully open to each other, totally authentic of self, and emotionally naked before your partner. For it is only within a dynamic filled with such honesty that we make possible the deep, beautiful and magical experiences we all seek. 

Finally re-dyed my hair for the first time in six months.  Made a mess of it, all over me, but the colors are better than i could have hoped for.   Unfortunately it did not help my mental state at all, which was what i was most hoping for.  But at least now i can get my new driver's license and have pretty colored hairs in my picture. Daddy has been so patienct with my mental state, or lack thereof, and i need to find a way to make it up to Him.  How he deals with me i will never know, but i am beyond thankful. This week also started our doctor appointments...hopefully we are able to start the disability process for Him quickly so that we have a dual income again.  And i know He hates not being able to contribute financially due to His health.  The doctor told Him that although He is only 41, He has to consider Himself 75 physically, and that is a tough pill to swallow.   For me i'm sure they will try and give me medications again, and i'll accept it for my blood pressue as it is beyonf sky-high but other than that i prefer not to take anything....i would rather allow my body to heal itself....even if it is really bad at doing so...

So why am i still here? Honestly i didn't think i would be. I've met people here, but life is complicated by the fact that i live with my mother (it's London, give us a break!). But i went to uni - miles away (clear across the country) and i thought that, i had a room of my own, a double bed, no one to explain things to, i could finally spend some real time getting to know a dom. And for some reason no one wanted to get to know me. A dom i'd known for literally years and who lived in the place i went to uni at, disappeared for five months and came back with a girlfriend, he wouldn't even meet for coffee as friends (and as a mature student boy did i need friends), another guy who said he'd love to have a holiday there, just didn't make it, one guy who agreed to come and see me started demanding that i go to see him instead, another guy ghosted me a few weeks before we were due to meet...yada, yada, yada. Now i don't believe i rushed any of these guys,  i was there for three years after all, so i guess they never had any intention of meeting in the first place.   So that's why i'm still here. But i can't say i'm still looking

Hedonist: I am an explorer, in search of adventure, within a vast ocean of possibility. I take a versatile approach to opportunities that present themselves, chemistry is everything, but safety is paramount. In that regard, I am definitely more RACK than SSC.. It has been said, slave girl gone rogue. "I hold a beast, an angel, and a madman in me" ~ Dylan Thomas Primal: I have a strong primal side. I identify as wolf and am heavily instinct driven, often basing my decisions in life on what sniffs right or wrong. I am also arguably feral when my need calls for it. The beast inside me has teeth and provoking her is a game that you are unlikely to win. And yes.. for the relevant humans our there, if you are reading this, that is a challenge 😉 If nothing else, a chew toy is always welcome. "Woman's destiny is to be wanton, like the bitch, the she-wolf; she must belong to all who claim her. - Marquis de Sade - Philosophy in the Bedroom Sub-Leaning: Nature VS nurture is a complex argument, all journeys are unique, my needs are constantly evolving and often flex based on who I am interacting with moment to moment. "There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip away another’s soul bare, and the power to stand naked." ~ Yaldah Tovah Submissive me: I have had the privilege of serving some truly wonderful Men along my journey, and whilst the submissive inside me still craves release, it takes a very strong hand and a unique kind of strength to draw her out and inspire her to stay. As such, it is rare for her to put in an appearance.  Not-Submissive me: With other women, I am an Alpha bitch, or a soft / pleasure Domme when the chemistry presents itself. Submissive men can expect very much the opposite, worms will know their place, obey without question and not speak to me unless invited to or fuck off and do not waste my time.  Sadomasochist: I love pain. Certainly a smart arsed sadomasochist, as my mouth is all too skilled at writing cheques for my (insert body part here) to cash. Aside from that - I have a sadistic streak a mile wide.. I love to Top and take a lot of pleasure from leaving my mark, with kisses, teeth, toys, the possibilities are endless and a body is a beautiful, blessed, canvas.  Everything Else: As my profile and fetish list suggests, I've met very few kinks that haven't made my pulse quicken and I wouldn't want to do again. Life is a rainbow and there's so much to explore, ideas and inspiration are always welcome!

As for about me and who I am. Well most of it is in the profile.   But I am a skilled maker with slightly above skills in welding, metal working, woodworking, plastics, molding, 3d printing, cnc laser cutting, chainmail weaving, scene prop special effects, and a few other random skills.   I also have a high level of skill in photography, video production (both shooting and editing), audio production, photo retouching and manipulation as well as graphic design and media production. (BS in media production) I also dabble in fashion design with a strong interest in fetish ware. Currently teaching myself leather garment sewing, as well as latex/rubber creation. Been playing with bootware and am designing custom heels for high heel boots.   I'm looking for that one female artist who can transform me into a woman. As in post op grs, breast implants, plastic surgery, FFS etc.   In return, my skills and talents would be at her service,  including making a full dungeon with all the toys one could dream of. As I look more fem I would have no problem being a cam girl for her and after I am fully transitioned I would gladly be a beta dom, under her.

Farewell to Autumn - Witkiewicz He penetrated more and more violently the mouth, which now only gave way little by little to the pressure of his lips, his teeth and his tongue. It opened completely, transforming itself into a wet swamp and burning with incredible sensuality, it took gigantic dimensions, it was the only thing really existing. Hela's tongue slipped like a flame out of that slimy, mollucoid mass, touched her lips and tongue, and began to suck, irritating her mouth madly... The pleasure, which flowed through her whole body, seemed already peaking, and despite that it intensified more and more, becoming of an intolerable force, which bordered on pain. The contact of this tongue which seemed conscious of his actions, he felt it everywhere in the spine, in the kidneys, and there, where billions of beings conceived in him rushed towards life, without paying the least attention nor to his great love, neither to the meaning of his existence, nor to any metaphysics. In the darkness of the body, in the swollen glands, at the complicated crossroads of the nervous pathways, everything pressed with elementary force towards a single goal: the only reward of the duped mind was an inhuman pleasure which destroyed it, giving it loneliness. unconsciousness of the moment.

Edit     So the looser of our little game is now in the position of being constantly aroused at the thought of so many folk seeing one of her pictures, and as she has no control over further posts. Its hard to tell which is arousing her more, the loss of control or folk seeing her pictures. So today we have a fresh picture to review, feedback welcome.

Well Used... This week has been a combination of failure and success. Not much to do when on your cycle, but did still plug a couple of days during that. Open to possible options in how to be of showing submission during that time. Of course bj's are in the table. Sometimes, however, that's not desired by my owner. On the upside, there was being fucked senseless while plugged. And the last 24 hours has been very good. One round if being eaten out and fingered. Three rounds of being woken up for sex. He seems pleased that I always seem ready to go even being woken up in the middle of the night. On to week three!

At the beginning of a relationship I try to keep surprises to a minimum. So I’ve written a short description of how I would spank the first time I did so. I do not spank really hard as the pleasure is over far too soon. I spank firmly and slowly. I call it a ‘Cumulative Dozen’. The first time you will have dressed as I instruct and will stand whilst I tell you why you are being spanked, it might just be for the pure enjoyment of doing so. You will bend over the back of a chair and I will lift your skirt, if needed I will hold you in place between my thigh and my left hand. The first spank will land on your far cheek, then one on your near cheek. I will then change sides and spank each cheek twice. Then change sides and spank each cheek three times, and so on until I decide to stop, or I’ve reached a dozen per side. Each cheek of your bottom could have received 78 spanks by this time. You will then be told to stand facing into the corner, holding your skirt above your waist and forbidden to touch your bottom. After a short wait you will bend over again, your panties will be removed, your legs parted and I will repeat the spanking. If you struggle you will be put over my knee and have your arm folded into the small of your back. By this time your bottom will be red and sore so the spanks will seem much harder than they actually are.  By the time a dozen is reached this time you will might want the spanking to stop. However if you have struggled too much, or clenched your bottom muscles too often I may decide to continue to 13, 14 or perhaps 15. One finished you will stand in the corner again, forbidden to touch your red bottom that you will keep on display until I tell you can move. If I have collared you the process will vary, if you would like to know how then just ask.

Ich + Ich - So soll es bleiben   Ich warte schon so langeAuf den einen MomentIch bin auf der SucheNach hundert ProzentWann ist es endlich richtigWann macht es einen SinnIch werde es erst wissenWenn ich angekommen bin Ich will sagenSo soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmtUnd mein Herz gefangen nimmt Wenn es da ist, werd ich feiernIch weiß, da ist noch mehrEs liegt noch so viel vor mirIch lauf noch hinterherBis jetzt fühl ich nur die HälfteVon allem, was gehtIch muss noch weitersuchenWeil immer noch was fehlt Ich will sagen:So soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmtUnd mein Herz gefangen nimmt Ich weiß nicht, wo du bistOder wo du wohnstAber eins ist sicherDass es sich lohntIch bete jede NachtDass ich dich finde Und du sagstSo soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmt So soll es seinSo kann es bleibenGenau so ist es gutAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles in mir ruht Yeah...Oh...Yeah...Oh...Yeah... So soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmtUnd mein Herz gefangen nimmt    

The pacifier falls from his mouth and even before I hear it hit the floor he says, louder than I expected, "I will never fuck you again, Kristen." And almost before he even gets the words out he immediately grunts and convulses. I know he's orgasming before I see the spurts of cum escape out the waistband of his white and baby blue diaper. He has been humping his diaper for less than two minutes, and his inability to last any longer drives me crazy inside. I can’t wait to find my hitachi. His mouth is open and he's breathing heavily. Now that he's cum, I want to drive this new reality. "Now, tell me again M, 'I will never fuck you again.'" He catches his breath, looks at me spent, like a puppy, a sad, broken puppy. Quietly he says, "I will never fuck you again Kristen." I'm not convinced and say, "up on your knees, and say it louder." It is taking all of my strength not to plunge my fingers under my dress and into my underwear as I watch him struggle from sitting to his knees, but I know that immediately post orgasm he needs to be made to understand. "Now, look me in the face and tell me you agree and accept that you will never have sex with me again." I see it now, conviction in his eyes, he has accepted it and the moment hits me like a ton of bricks. This feels more significant than when he said, "I do" years ago. He goes a step beyond...I am again so proud of him. So proud where I have been able to direct us.  M looks me in the face, crosses his arms behind his back grabbing his forearms, straightens himself...   "K, I willingly agree and whole heartedly accept that we will never again have sex. I fully accept that we have crossed a line and cannot go back. I am yours. I love you, I want this for you, I want this for us."  I can't stand it...I am torn by the most arousal I have ever felt between my legs and the bursting emotion inside my chest. I tear up, get on my knees with him and wrap my arms around him, we hug for a long time. When we let go we both have tears on our cheeks. "I love you" I say. "I love you" he says. 

An evening, recalled by the lady, written by me.It was late afternoon and it had been a tough day at the Commission. His kiss when he met me at the station was warm and affectionate; we chatted on the way to the hotel and as we checked in. When we arrived in the room I dumped my stuff on the bed and went out onto the veranda to look out over the lake. A few minutes later I heard him say ‘come here please’. I turned to see him with an impassive look on his face and standing in the middle of the room pointing at the floor just in front of his feet. He took hold of me around my waist and as he kissed me deeply, his hands travelled from my waist down my hips and across my bottom. Then up my back to my neck and then he felt my hair. He murmured ‘give me your tongue’ and I slipped it between his teeth. He nipped it and held it between his upper teeth and tongue. It was uncomfortable but not painful, he had done it often before and I had grown to like it. His hands resumed their journey around my upper body. They were firm, confident and moved without any hesitation. I could not have ed even if I had wanted too and the welcome feeling of melting inside began. He then released my tongue, kissed my lips then he turned me around and bent me over so my elbows were on the bed. He lifted my skirt and folded it over my back. His hands then roved freely over my bottom and between my thighs. He felt my mons, traced the line of my slit and ran his fingertips between down the crease between my buttocks, pausing to press on my anus. He then held me firmly against his thigh and began to spank me- this had recently become a regular beginning to our time together. One spank per cheek, then two, then three, they landed on my upper thighs and the curve of my bottom. He stopped at six and spent a few minutes gently rubbing my bottom, occasionally slipping his hand between my thighs. At ten per cheek it was stinging a lot. By twelve I was having difficulty keeping still. It was the knowledge that if I moved he would start again that kept me in position. The spanking was not unexpected and it had the desired effect. I felt myself starting to melt inside even more as he rubbed my stinging bottom and thighs once again. He stopped and made me stand. Then looked me in the eye, and then said ‘I have a few issues to resolve with you’. My stomach took a lurch, I’d been here before, he had shown no sign of real annoyance with me recently but then he never really did. He took me by the chin, looked into my eyes and said ‘strip and kneel’. He then turned and went to the veranda. It only took a minute to remove all my clothes and jewellery. I knelt, apprehensive about his return, embarrassed it had been a warm day; I had been wearing tights and had not had the time to wash and prepare myself for him. My make up had gone and I knew I did not look my best. He returned and pushed me forward to my knees and elbows. Pulling back my hair he locked my leather collar around my neck. It felt strange after the long break since I last wore it. The wrist cuffs were fitted next before he clipped them behind my back pinioning my wrists. He pulled my collar by its short leash to make me kneel up and then buckled a gag around my neck and pushed the red ball behind my teeth before tightening   it. He turned me so my back was to the mirror and placed a low backed chair in front of me. He could now see both the back and front of me. Sitting on the chair he told me to part my thighs wide and to emphasise the point his foot nudged my knees wide apart. I hoped he wasn’t going to touch me between my thighs as he so loved too, I so regretted not taking a shower immediately we arrived in the room. From his pocket he took some butterfly style nipple clips. I hate them and he knows it, he threaded their chain into the ring at the front of my collar and after pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefinger to make them fully erect he clipped one to each nipple. The discomfort was almost unbearable, I instinctively closed my thighs, and he ed and gently tugged the chain, sending sharp jolts through me. I did as I was told and spread my thighs wide, pushing my mons forward as far as I could. The gag muffling my weak protests. He spoke slowly, jerking the chain on saying each word. ‘Three weeks ago you forgot your make up, two weeks ago your stockings, last week your high shoes. You have arrived in my company wearing tights for the last 4 weeks, hence the immediate spankings. You have not kissed or greeted me properly on meeting for the same length of time. You make up today is poor, your hair isn’t brushed and you have not left your pubic hair as I instructed. In short young lady you are marring your beauty. You are fully aware how beautiful I think you are and you are distracting from it by being sloppy and that disappoints me. I will not accept you detracting from the pleasure I take in having such a desirable woman as my lover. Do you understand?’ I nodded, my eyes starting to water from the discomfort in my nipples and the realisation of how I had disappointed him. There was also the knowledge that I had been here before and if it followed a similar pattern then this was the case against me. By nodding I admitted my guilt. So I was about to punished for being a sloppy and inattentive submissive who had disappointed her Dominant.  He helped me to my feet by lifting me by the collar on my ring; it also had the effect of tugging on my nipples. He reversed his chair and tugged the chain as he removed each nipple clip. It stung as the blood filled each nipple, my knees almost buckled each time, the gag muffling the g. He then connected my wrists cuffs in front of me, and bent me over the back of his chair so my weight rested on my elbows. ‘Part your legs’ he said, I complied and hoped he would decide to have me, not cane me. I was to be disappointed, though recently spanked I accepted I had earned this too. He fetched a cane from his bag as I waited anxiously. Holding the back of my collar he rested the cane against my bottom, drew it back and struck me. ‘One‘ he said. All I did was hear the sound then the harsh sting reached my brain! He was using the flat cane.  A piece of flexible wood two feet long, an inch wide and a quarter of an inch thick. It didn’t leave tram lines or scars; I knew its stinging would last for ages and leave a square red mark on each buttock, but it would not bruise very much. Not that it seemed important at that moment. Though I find the cane painful, the thonged whip he occasionally uses is worse. Its thick strands inflict weal’s and their tips can get into the most intimate parts of my body. I’ve also known him use it on my breasts and belly. Each cane stroke went slightly lower until the last 3 all struck where the tops of my thighs and my bottom met. My legs kicked out from the stinging, by now I had dribbled spittle around the gag, my eyes were streaming and my nose had started to run. He let go the back of my collar and returned the cane to his bag. Returning he pulled me upright by my collar and turned me to face him. I refused to look him in the eye; I must have looked a real mess. He took my chin again forcing me to look into his eyes. I felt so ashamed of my appearance. He had told me I was beautiful so very often and it made me feel so proud when he said it. Now I had let him down by being too complacent. He unclipped the wrist cuffs, reattaching then in front. He said ‘Do you understand what I have told you?’ I nodded. ‘Then get down on your belly on the floor and spread your legs, I haven’t finished with you yet.’ My mind raced, would it be the whip now, on my bottom? I knelt and lay on the floor, my bottom was really stinging and the carpet was rough against my sore nipples, my belly and mons. I spread my thighs wide, dipped my spine and waited. I heard the pop of a tube of lubricant being opened. It wasn’t the whip!! The lube felt cold against my anus as he applied just enough. He undressed, I could feel him looking at my prone body, the line of my sex and the rose of my anus. I was fully exposed because it was how he wanted me to be. He knelt between my thighs and pumped his cock to make the head larger. He spread my bottom cheeks with one hand and pressed his cock against my anus with the other. The tip entered me, it was so uncomfortable. I had forgotten how tight a caning made the cheeks of my bottom clench. He pushed into me, stretching me. I struggled and tried to object; he held me and reminded me of the presence of the whip. Once he was past the muscular ring I relaxed as the discomfort subsided somewhat; I felt the cool of his skin against my hot bottom. He reached and took hold of my hair and collar, pulling them back. At the first slow thrust he said ‘one’. The thrusts were slow and firm, they made my bottom sting though my anus soon adapted to the presence of his cock. He told me to squeeze my buttocks together as he withdrew his cock, and relax as he thrust in. I tried to do so; each time I failed he added two extra thrusts. He was punishing me and reminding me of his dominance by not taking pleasure from the stimulation my anus could give him. It was a reminder that sexual pleasure could not be an excuse for a lack of submission. It was a relief when he reached 100 and stopped counting and thrusting. I was glad he was no longer forcing my nipples against the rough carpet, and his tummy was no longer making my sore bottom sting more. But I immediately missed the closeness and intimacy of the man I so wanted yet had disappointed. He pulled me to my feet by my collar, removed the ball gag and lifted my chin. I must have looked a real mess as I worked my jaw to stop it aching, I certainly felt a mess and I promised him and myself not to let my appearance or behaviour slip again. He kissed me and said he loved me; I’m not sure if it made me feel any better- or if it was supposed to! He led me by the arm into the bathroom and told me to wash his cock and balls. I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked horrendous! Mascara running, the marks of the gag around my mouth, spittle around my chin and collar and my nose running! I looked away ashamed as he wet a towel to clean the lube from between my buttocks. He turned me around so my back was to the mirror and rubbed the wet towel firmly between my buttocks, it stung where it touched the red marks.  I heard him say, ‘You have 30 minutes until dinner. Be ready on time.’ I knew that I would make him the proudest man alive when he let me take his arm to dinner. 30 minutes wasn’t long. But I so wanted to see that look of desire in his eyes that I would ensure I was just as he wanted me to be. I knew just how good he would make me feel in return. He went to the veranda to watch the sun set. I set to work, though I did sneak a look at the red marks on my bottom. They made me feel strangely proud because they were his marks and I had submitted to him. He had put them there and there was nothing I could have done about it even if I wanted to. Now I didn’t know what he was going to do with me later, but after being disciplined he always had something special planned for me! 

I am looking for a slave one who's only desire is to make me happy and to make my life a little easier. Cooking cleaning running errands doing what I need in real life.clean my car do yard work. Build crafts with me or for me. It would not be about how much pain I give you. Or if you are used sexually or if I tie you up although I may do any of those things and more but when and how is up to me. I do not want to micromanage a slave that is a job to do so my slave is here to serve me not me keep tract if everything for it. I want a slave that can be integrated in to my life both lifestyle and vanilla. I want to have fun times. But keep in mind I can be demanding and moody. This is what I want. At this time I can not have a slave live with me but I need one to live near me. Even if they need to move near me. i need them to have their own source of income because I can not afford to take care of you. I do not live a glamorous life style but a real life I am not sophisticated I am a country girl at heart. I am not rich or even well off but like most people I make it day by day. Week by week. I am real and I am Dominant and controlling I like things my way.

My First "couple" meet   i thought i had posted this, but i guess not. i‘ve been chatting, many times on cam, with the male part of a couple for a while, then then he asked if i wanted to meet. i said yes, but he then said i had to bring a long a pair of panties, i thought ok. He told me to drive to a parking lot close to his home to meet and chat. We met and chatted and then he said to follow him to his home. As he walked in, he turned around and told me to take all of my clothes off, i was a little startled, but i did as he requested. As he was still clothed, he gave my little clit a couple of tugs, told me to put on the panties i had brought along, and to follow him upstairs. It’s somewhat embarrassing to be naked in front of a clothed man and be told to put on a pair of panties! We walked into the bedroom, he told me where to place my clothes, and as i looked up, there was a computer on the desk and a chair. As he removed his clothes, he sat down in front of the computer and told me that he was on cam and I was to start sucking on his cock. At first i did not want to face the cam, but once i started on his cock, i did not mind. It took him a little while to get hard, but he tasted good and my little clit was achingly hard pressing against my panties, and soon his precum was filling my mouth then he shot his load down my throat. His first words were that he did not think i was able to make him cum, which must have made him very happy because he called his wife into the bedroom. Now, i thought we were alone in the house, so i was a little taken back when he had his wife lay on the bed and as a reward for making him cum, he let me eat out his wife! She was freshly shaved a few days ago and her hairs had just begun to grow back. After a little while, he said they had to get going so i got dressed and left. i had hoped there would be more meetings, but they moved away shortly after that.

Message to a new submissive/slave   So you love service. And you have discovered the great world of BDSM. Allow me to tell you a few things. I'm going to tell you what I tell every new person whether they are Christian or not. You have to find what works for you. If you are happy being a submissive then learn to be the best sub possible.    First find a Mentor. A good mentor is not a sexual partner. Mentorship is a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. However, true mentoring is more than just answering occasional questions or providing ad hoc help. It is about an ongoing relationship of learning, dialog, and challenge.* – Wikipedia I suggest a good mentor would be another submissive or slave. Not that Dominants/Masters can’t mentor a sub/slave, I do it all the time. But I just think someone who has been what you are going through would understand. I understand because I was trained from the bottom up. That means I started as a sub before earning my title of Master. Join groups. Fellowship with other submissives is a good thing. You do not want to isolate yourself. Hanging and talking will help you understand what you are and that there are others like you.   Ask questions. Questioning is a good thing and a good way to stay safe. A Dominant/Master should be willing to answer question. Ask other subs/slaves questions too   Also, just because someone claims to be a Master does not give them the right to start dominating you.  If a Master that you have not negotiated with, tells you that you are a sub or slave, therefore; you have to follow their orders, then it is a good idea to cut off communication with them.     Don’t settle for the first Master that comes along.  Think of this as a romantic relationship.  Do you marry the first man or woman that smiles at you?  Get to know more than one.  Until you are ready to make a commitment to a Dominant/Master/Mistress, you have the right to talk to several.   Also remember that your feelings matter.  In play a Dom/Master/Mistress might say that they do not, but this should only be in play.  In r/l your thoughts, emotions, desires, and even your health matter.   Ok let’s talk about power and power exchange. And remember the submissive/slave has all the power. Not the Dominant/Master/Mistress, we have no power except what you give us. The power exchange can be a beautiful thing when done right.     The foundation and corner stone of this lifestyle is consent. You have a right to consent. If someone does something to you that you do not consent to. Run away, don't walk.. run. Part of consent is setting limits. You have a right to set limits. Submissive will do this within the relationship. A slave should set her limits in negotiation. Yes slave you have that right. You should always negotiate with a Master. If a Master says you do not have that right, run away.  Remember these: SCC & RACK. The first SCC stands for safe, sane, and consensual. A Dominant/ Master/Mistress should keep you safe and play safe. The use of drugs or alcohol during play is not safe because they alter perception and dangerous mistakes can be made.    Although what we do looks insane to the outside world, it can be very sane, and the bottom line is consent. Every thing we do is with consent. You never lose the right to consent. Slaves, let me be very clear. You always have the right to walk away. If a Master tells you different, he is not a Master but an abuser.    Next is what I believe and that is RACK. The R stands for risk. There is risk in what we do. No matter whether it is BDSM, M/s, or D/s, there is risk. Which brings us to the A. the A stands for aware. A Dominant/Master should make you aware of the risk you are taking. C=consent or Consensual, again I can not stress this enough. It is the foundation and cornerstone of all we are. Last, the K is for kink. Yes we are a very kinky people and remember your kink may not be someone else’s kink. But that is OK.      Communication is essential.  Keep in mind, a potential Dom/Master/Mistress cannot read your mind.  If there is something that scares you or that you are uncomfortable with, tell them!  If they are unwilling to listen and talk to you about it, run away!  Keep in mind that when a person is a Dom/Master/Mistress they are also human.  They will make mistakes.      Respect should be earned I am not talking about common courtesy. Being polite always makes you look good. But respect is earned. And a Dominant/Master should never demand it. If a Dominant demands this you should run. We command respect by our actions. And a Dominant should be willing to earn that respect. One last thought on respect, you should respect yourself. Self respect is important. If you can’t respect your self how can you respect someone else?   Trust is also earned. If someone is not willing to earn your trust, or if they demand your trust, walk away. You need to trust to have a good relationship. But trust needs to be earned. A dominant/Master should be willing to earn your trust   This is a great way of life or it can be. But it can be dangerous. It is used by abusers to abuse. It is used by pretenders and predators also. We wrote this to help keep you safe.  .  

First meeting of 2023   Laura, a 39 year old female came this afternoon for a punishment session. Laura contacted me on another site about administering a punishment spanking for being disrespectful to her husband, spending too much money and generally being lazy around the house. Her husband, whilst not in the scene, suggested she get spanked as he thought it would be the only way she would 'get herself together' and start taking responsibility of her life and to stop acting like a teenager. He felt that she wouldn't take it seriously if he spanked her and he probably wouldn't do it properly. Laura was a slight woman, about 5'3", and I'd say 120lbs, shoulder length black hair, pale complexion, quite a few tattoos on her arms. She was wearing a red and black tee-shirt, black leggings, and thick soled, heeled shoes. Anyway, Laura was told to report to me at 2pm, she was HALF HOUR late!! Laura was a little sassy when she arrived, and a little cheeky when asked why she was late, "sorry", she said, "didn't think I was in the army", was her response. I immediately told her that lateness isn't tolerated and that I expect her to be here at the time I say. "bend over, now!" I said, and proceeded to take down her leggings. I gave her 6 very hard smacks! "Ow, ow, ow! sorry Sir!" I think she was surprised by how much it stung, having never been spanked before. Her eyes slightly teary. I told her to stand up and pull her leggings back up, I explained that it was her and her husband that asked me to punish her, so that's exactly what she'd get. The three of us agreed that Laura should have a thorough hand spanking, followed by the strap and finally the cane. I led Laura to my living room and immediately pulled her across my knee, I gave her 20 or so hard smacks on her bottom, then took down her leggings to her knees and followed up with a further 20 or so smacks. She was wearing small blue bikini briefs, not much protection. She made a lot of noise and wriggled about quite a bit, but this didn't stop me from continuing. She was definitely shocked by how much it hurt. I have large hands and I spank quite hard. Her pale bottom reddened really quickly, as I expected. I told her to stand up and strip, which she did without hesitation, then it was corner time for 10 minutes, hands on head and standing still. Laura had a reasonably fit looking body, medium sized breasts, pierced nipples, and was smooth all over. Her bottom was nicely pert, not too muscular, but had some 'meat' to it, for want of a better word. Once the 10 minutes were over, it was back over my knee. This time I put her over my left knee, and clamped her legs down with my right leg, and held her arm behind her back. This time she got three rounds of 30 spanks, very hard! Laura tried to wriggle a lot, and was pleading with me to stop through her crying. We didn't set a limit on hand spanking, I rarely do, however we did set a limit of 3x10 with the prison strap, and 3x5 with the traditional rattan cane. After the hand spanking finished, I told her to bend over my quite large leather pouffe, it's the perfect size for someone to be on all-fours, over the pouffe and still able to put hands on the floor on the other side. She waited there for 10 minutes, the crying reduced to sniffles. "Do you deserve this punishment?", I asked, "Yes Sir", "Did you expect it to hurt so much?", "No Sir" "Well that was only my hand, now you're going to get 30 with the strap" I gave her 10 fairly slow swats, not too hard. She cried out a lot, but took them well. Laura counted the next set of 10, "One, thank you Sir", "two, thank you Sir" ... etc. A little harder this time. She could barely speak now because she was crying so much. I re-assured her that she was taking the punishment well and that actions have consequences, so she should think about her behaviour in future. The final 10 came. She didn't count these. I spanked her quite hard and fast this time, her bottom was going from very red, to slightly bruised. She was told to stand against the wall a final time for 10 minutes, she was not rub her bottom. She was very sniffly so I offered her a tissue, I am compassionate lol. The time came for the three sets of five with the cane. I reiterated that the cane would hurt a lot and asked her if she accepted the punishment. "Yes Sir, I totally deserve this punishment" I put her in position ready for her caning, leaning against the wall, legs together, slightly bent over. She was told that she can wriggle about and make noise, but MUSTN'T break position or I'll start again. The first five strokes hurt a lot, she screamed. I could see her hands tense up, and her body straightened, tightening her bottom. Perfect strokes on my part, right across the sit spot. "ok, back into position", I told her. The next five strokes were to be counted, "One, I'm sorry for my behaviour", "Two, I'm sorry for my behaviour", etc. The strokes were reasonably slow, about every 5 seconds, giving her time to get back into position, and to say the line. I then proceeded to rub her bottom, and told that she'd done well, but the last five will hurt a lot. "Ok Sir, I'm ready" These strokes were hard and fast, no break in between strokes. Laura buckled, her body almost touching the wall. Immediately after the last stroke, she fell to the floor, crying and rubbing her bottom, which was now very bruised and sore. I comforted her and rubbed lotion into her bottom. I think the crying was more from the guilt of her behaviour, as much as from the pain of the spanking. I told her she could get dressed and have a drink of water. She was then free to leave. Laura apologised, but I said that she didn't have to apologise to me, but rather her husband. I told her that I hope the spanking was a good lesson to learn and that her husband should contact me again if she needs another punishment. So, a rather enjoyable first session of 2023, her husband has since messaged me to say that the punishment was exactly what was needed, her bottom was sore and bruised for a good number of days afterwards. He said he'll definitely be in touch if he needed me again in the future.

She would probably have bent over the padded bench if he had told her too, but he had lifted her easily and firmly pushed her over it. If asked she would have reached forward and held the legs before he had secured her wrists to them. Likewise she might have spread her feet wide, but there was no choice given at all, and she was helpless. She would not have tied her hair in a ponytail but she was in no position to resist, or to stop him tightening the strap over her lower back that forced so wanton a display of her buttocks. He had bared her nipples by removing her bra with a knife. She was denied the modesty of her skirt when he tucked it up in the waistband. The tie sided panties were soon pressed into her mouth which he had been made it available by attaching her hair to the waist strap, forcing her head back so affording her only a forward view.  She was now displayed, securely bound and completely available. A familiar sound made her wonder if his intention was to use or discipline her.  He had a crop in a Velcro sealed case, it wasn’t often she regretted her music playing however it concealed enough of the sound to make her unsure, was it the crop case opening, or was it his trouser zip?   She involuntarily clenched her buttocks, this served to pucker her anus, almost inviting him to use her there. – she suddenly wondered if could serve to distract him?.. Then wondered again if he actually intended to beat her? Moments prior to her restraint he had demanded her tongue, ‘Good girl ‘he had murmured into her mouth before his hand descended and found her becoming aroused. She heard his step on the wooden floor; her curiosity would soon be resolved.

test results... I don't necessarily agree with all of these amounts though. Updated March 2022 == Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Rigger100% Sadist100% Owner100% Master/Mistress94% Dominant93% Switch90% Non-monogamist90% Primal (Hunter)83% Pet81% Brat tamer71% Experimentalist67% Primal (Prey)63% Voyeur62% Degrader61% Rope bunny57% Submissive47% Masochist37% Brat14% Exhibitionist11% Daddy/Mommy2% Vanilla0% Boy/Girl0% Degradee0% Slave0% Ageplayer

  The pool party was in Royal OUak,  a very nice suburb of Houston.  I was admiring all the large homes with long driveways and manicured lawns.  When I arrived at the house, I pulled into the driveway and parked behind a Tesla.  I checked my face in the mirror and got out of my car.  I wore a black string bikini under a black cover up with a pair of wedges and some sunglasses.   I could hear voices, music and splashing on the other side of the privacy fence.  I opened the door and I looked around.  From my left was the back of the house that had a covered patio.  The large yard surrounded a big pool with lounge chairs and tables with umbrellas.  To the right was a tiki bar.  I headed there.   Heather called out to me , "Hey! I'm glad you made it.  Why don't you get a cocktail and chill? Bartender?  Give her whatever she wants." I smiled and asked for a hurricane.  Coming right up, he said.  I looked around and saw people enjoying the day.  Most were in or near the pool.  There was mostly a mixture of 20 and 30 somethings.  A group of four were sitting at a table enjoying a blunt.  I headed there.   Me, smiling:  Can I try? "Sure gorgeous" a handsome guy said and handed it to me.  "Hey are you that new girl I heard about?"  Me, smiling:  "Maybe!" Heather, waving to get my attention:  "Come here I want to introduce you to someone.". She led me towards the house as Jim and another man were emerging from the back.   Jim, looking at the other man:  This is the one I told you about."  This is Renee, he provides the financing for my movies. " Renee, smiling at me:  It's nice to meet you.  I heard you have a nice set of abs. May I see them? I opened my cover up and showed off my body.  I flexed my abs and instinctively did a bicep pose.   Renee, still smiling:  You have a very nice body.  Any tattoos?" Me:  "No, I'm all natural.". I glanced at Heather, smiling.   Jim, to me:  "Enjoy the party.  We'll talk later." And the two men walk back inside the house.   Heather, to me:  "Let's go swimming." And we spent the rest of the afternoon just partying and enjoying the pool.  Throughout the day I met other people in the movie business.  There was a black female actress.  A Latino male actor said hello.  I met a lighting guy, a sound guy, some grips, gaffers, a set manager, a camera man and an editor.  I had no idea what some of them did until they explained it to me.  No wonder films are so expensive.  Next, The Pitch  

Desire   I lay in bed reading. My mind lost in the ecru pages with its black ink scrawled across. I was thoroughly enjoying my book when I felt a hand on my left foot. I looked up and at the foot of the bed he stood, looking at my legs, finger tips grazing my toes and tracing them to my foot and then my ankle.    I cleared my throat and he looked up at me, sheepish grin on his cute little mouth. He appeared to be waiting, perhaps asking for permission.  I sighed, pretending to be annoyed, and said, "fine, my sweet boy, you may" and I lifted my foot to his face.  "Thank you, Empress." He cooed as he began first to inhale and then kiss my foot.   "Don't start anything you don't intend to finish, puppy" I said as I returned to my book. Trying to focus on the words as his tongue lathed each little digit, tickled the arch of my foot, lapped at my heel, was difficult. I curled and uncurled my toes at the sensations that tickled its way up to the juncture where my thigh met my panties.    I peeked at him over the book. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavy. A bulge existed in his sweatpants. I may have moaned under my breath and at that he began to rub my calf muscle, massaging me. He must have been in a mood. Anticipating one another's desires hadn't always been easy but it seemed today he wanted to touch and be denied.    He was supposed to fetch his cage when he was in this mood otherwise he was left free. I enjoyed most to tease and play when he had access but couldn't find release without permission. I liked feeling it against me and saying no to it.    "My love?" I said with an imploring tone   He opened his pretty eyes, hazel green with flecks of gold, and stopped moving but kept my toes in his mouth as he said, "yes, Empress?".    "Are you wearing your cage?"   He released my leg and toes and pulled his sweat pants down to reveal that he was locked up in his cage. His cheeks warmed, maybe I made a face of appreciation. Now that he was in it he'd have to beg to be out of it. As he went to pull up his pants I stopped him with my right foot. Pressing my toes into the cage and pushing it up into his body. He opened his legs to give me more room as he reached for the foot he'd forfeited. "Did I give you permission to lock away my property?"   "No, Ma'am, sorry Ma'am." He said with his cheeks flushed.    I was no longer trying to read and I maintained uncomfortably long eye contact before nodding at him to resume his current task. I returned to my book but could only look at the words swimming across the page.  They were like nonsense to my brain as my other senses were being over powered by the pleasure of my love's service.  As he began to rub my leg harder and kiss my foot with more passion I suddenly kicked him away. Loving the look on his face at my sudden rejection.  I crossed my legs and pretended to read as he stood waiting. A whimper escaped his throat, truly a puppy, and I laughed.   This game was a favorite of mine.    If he wanted anything he'd have to ask, beg, crawl and suffer for it.   "Please..." he said.  I pretended not to hear an incomplete sentence, waiting, my heart racing and my pussy growing wetter. I crossed my legs again and the little bells on the anklet on my right ankle made a beautiful sound. I curled and flexed the toes on that foot, encircled by two rings, knowing I had his attention.    He cleared his throat. "Please, Empress, may I touch you, your feet?"   "Hmmm, no" I turned the pages of the book that I hadn't been reading. I made a mental note to memorize the page I could last remember. What I wanted was to ravage my boy. Make him cry. Shove my toes into his mouth even if it was too far and he gagged. I needed the tears now.    "Kneel", I said softly as I looked at the pages of the book in my hands.  "If you want anything you'll have to bleed for it, fetch the toys."    He crawled and carefully brought back a bag of equipment from the hall closet. Belts used to bind him, rope, tape, hoods, gags, and a cattle prod.    I turned the page of my book slowly as he remained on his knees with the bag on his upright hands. Endurance would benefit him. We had grown fond of torturous tasks.    Walls squats near my chair so I can rest my feet on his knees. Bridge pose for the same reason. Back bends so I can sit comfortably on his body as I tie my shoes. Anything to put his body to the test. Kneeling with his arms out, palms up, holding the heavy bag was just the thing to amuse me. When his arms began to tremble is when I decided to close my book and focus on him entirely.    I took the bag from him and gave the rest command. He relaxed on his knees, palms up waiting to receive. His face was flush but not just from the shear pleasure of being allowed to serve or the humiliation of being an object, but also due to the arduous task, and he had begun to sweat.    "Undress." He stood to follow my command and then returned to the rest position. I slowly picked out the tools we'd need to play today.  "Are we in the mood for pain, I think so" I said out loud as if truly asking him, as if it weren't my decision to make" he remained quiet.  I took out his special hood. Custom just for him. It laced down into a neck corset. He couldn't see, or speak from within. He couldn't kiss me or be bitten on his lips.  I took out leather belts with satin affixed to the side that would touch his skin. For his legs and arms.    "Open" I commanded and he spread his legs, exposing himself straining in his cage. I could see the beating of his heart as the cage bobbed. I got down to his level and affixed two belts to his bent legs, preventing I'm from standing.    "Inspection." I commanded and he put his hands to the back of his head which prepped his arms for being equally disabled by two shorter belts on each arm.    "Now, how will you touch me without hands?" I asked. Quietly he pushed his face into my legs and rubbed against them, scooting his body closer and attempting to rub his full body on me. I pushed him off and laughed as he fell backwards with a thud.    I sat on his chest and slid the hood onto his head but couldn't lace it. I lifted onto my knees and he rotated knowingly so that I could tie him tight. Then I stood up, leaving him alone in the dark. I tiptoed and climbed quietly into bed, on my tummy, as he lay on the floor, I watched him for a long while to see what he would do.    What COULD he do? Bound as he was, I had not ever tested if he could crawl. I climbed down from the bed and tiptoed out of the room and walked back in as if I was returning from elsewhere. He jerked in the direction of my sounds, bells tinkling on my anklet, I noisily gathered a chain leash and walked to his helpless body and attached it to the ring on the collar of his special hood.    "Come, puppy." I called in my sing song voice, the very one I use for my cats. "Come on, my h

BOOM! Dignity and Grace for our aging Elders in the new term, over corporate greed and SELF INTERESTED narcissistic dictating fascists!  I am an Independent and have voted equally for Republicans and Democrates.  In My lifetime, I have never voted for a liar or a thief or a convicted felon or an insurrectionist. Team work makes the dream work. No one ever lost because they helped another.  ~ Leave the sorting to God and get busy helping your fellow man. I know WHAT I am voting for and who I shall surround Me.  Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?

i'm always in a very weird place in my spaces on earth. in every sense of the word i'm 'in the worlds but not of it'.   when i connect with my mermaid and water being feminine people and try to befriend them and socialize, i'm often come across man hating retroic. men ain't shit. kill men. a mermaid would never be with a man. if you are wanting to be married by a man something is wrong with you. a mermaid is never meant to be tamed. brimstone and fire.   probably partly because of my virgo rising and partly because of my priestess nature i can't relate. in my heart of hearts how i approach romantic and sexual framework with men is  in a perfect world a sacred slavery mentality. honor, worship, respect, reverence, and deep feminine care and caressing and holding is how my dream is in my heart and my mind. in a perfect world i am always claimed by the mother ocean, but she is holding place and will hold my hand off in divine union and marriage to my master husband. this mermaid knows in a perfect world in my heart of hearts the divine masculine which would in a perfect world translate to a man in real life on earth in the flesh owns me heart, mind, body and soul. and it tends to express that most men that have attempted to date me tend to be on a soulmate level, some things die hard and my soul is built for a deeper cosmic way of loving and fucking than what most superficial people see.    in a alternative space group i saw a whack ass man proudly show his bdsm tools like a big inflated ego boy in a group that is clearly not just 18+  probably wanting some ego stroking saying just had a good session. it got lots of comments. i'm sure some womens panties were fulfilled by that. i looked at it as true goddess of devotion on a deeper moment. session? how does that translate to your world. your life. you packed it up and you closed it out. what about your next breath, your next step, your next hand hold, your next eye stare..the next intent of the energy you speak to her. how does your session carry out in your 24/7 lifestyle of devotion servitude mastery and slavery? dominance and submission? you can only hold it for  a session that is good and requiring or preferring some tools to achieve that ecstatic level of pleasure and absolute sinking into each other. that's cute. but what about the end goal, complete devotion and union. or is it just for a quick dopamine run and back to being vanilla lower cylinder working engagements between each other and life goes on. because if not we all know while in a perfect world it would include financial, cohabitating, family future planning generational security stability community elevating discussions between both parties as a power couple of house if it's multiple people involved......it doesn't have to be and can go on without cohabitating, without the legal contract change...though i still don't understand why most men want to own women but don't have the balls to legally take her as property and change her name to seal the full deal. so many come across, i haven't thought about that, there are ways of doing it without getting the law involved, we don't need the governmental intuition we have to operate under to know she's my property as long as it's in our hearts it's ok...always comes off as a cop out to me. but i know everyone is built different. tools can be fun but it's just like yoga, in the west anasa is so popular because we don't know how to get still inside to get to the real higher work of the various limbs of study and practice. and still doesn't have to be sitting, meditation is also dance movement and action. it's a stillness in the mind.   some of my dark goddess sisters both of the sophia original source encoded soul that are different copies of my own self....or others with a different original divine feminine soul encoded on them(sophia isn't the only form of the divine feminine, it's just WHO i am...so what MY mission is...MY journey..MY teachings...and my lived path to walk) continue the man hate. men deserve to die. nwords ain't shit. fuck a guy. i hate men.   i can't relate.   i've never had a man in real life protect, provide, or care for me. i've been in clubs by myself and have drunk men try to hug me, touch my arms, rub  up on my breasts and inappropriate get in my space. i've had to push men off  one, two, three, four times very visibly public. i've had to say loudly no, more than once. no bouncer at the clubs come. none of the men in the vicinity that can hear me(my voice is loud and piercings and energetic and many a person has said i talk too loud naturally) and they don't break from their girlfriends, wives, friend groups to come over and say stop bro. or to say are you okay? or is everything alright. they stay on the sidelines watching as i the dark goddess have to rise to protect myself.   i've dated men who see when i'm out and about other men try to approach me that i'm uncomfortable with and they've laughed it off, making me rise to the challenge to assert myself i'm with a guy and even if i wasn't this invasion of space is inappropriate.    i've been through so many daddies that want to inappropriately harness my overtly sexual little girl with no promise of provision, protection, guidance, care, and structure that the daddy dominant is supposed to provide. i've had them break me so much i've wanted to die when that carrot stick of the ultimate romantic mix of nurturing and strength and slightly sinister love gets taken away.   i've been assaulted in that way and when i told the man i was dating at the time, instead of being a righteous archangel michael divine masculine encoded self asked what was i wearing, what was i doing maybe i did something to provoke it. when i go through the questions and ask for them to come over to hug me, to reset my body my nervous system, to heal me from what their brother did and get myself reacclimated to what i have always known in my heart of hearts to be what the real masculine the true masculine is..i was rejected but he loved me.   and on and on...i have every experience to join the men ain't shit nword ain't shit kill men.....and i'm just not wired that way.   even recognizing the world isn't perfect, and that i wasn't born to be on the regular track where men in reality come to my rescue, show up for me, open the doors for me, hold me, watch me, make sure i'm okay, provide the stability, structure, care and support of just a regular vanilla way or an elevated power dynamic way....i don't' waver from the mission of 5d.. a higher cosmic love and union..i don't waver from the truth i've been seen.   there's the sauce of real life...and then there's the truth of what is beyond in the ethers.   and in the eithers.....i'm so divinely cared for and protected, cherished and loved. while the men in reality cannot hold the energetics of the transformative fiery goddess i am that will require them to constantly level up, to grow, to face their fears, be called out on their mistakes, be pushed to elevate, grow, emotionally stretch, touch feelings they could hide and side step from everyone else, and to always be tracked and seen energetically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally.....the divine form is always here.   and so while it's not a perfect world, i am incapable of losing the respect, the reverence, the worship, the care, the holding, the deep sense of devotion to the man in spirit. i don't have to receive a gift on a date,  i don't have to be asked out on a physical date, i don't have to have the door held open, i don't have have dinner paid for me, i don't have to receive an engagement ring, i don't have to re

7/31/2024 6:49:25 PM   A very warm and grateful send out to those who have contacted Me to share of their own story and their strength and well wishing.  This was quite unexpected and I appreciate the consideration shown and stories shared.  My very best to you and yours and thank you for the kindness, it means much and has indeed given Me some strength in carrying on.  xox

So many Doms who contact me here always seem to assume I'm full of all these unfulfilled fantasies about kink and a dom sub dynamic that are  unrealized, offering their cocks, hands, and sometimes even their minds to lead me down the path into my subconscious of dark desires.  Maybe those kind of offers entice other women on this site, ones who have had only dreams of scratching their itches, so to speak, but  hey fellas, if you have read my profile and my journals, you would know I have a great lifetime of experience for us to begin with.  That alone should elevate our initial conversations above the fray.  What I'm seeking here, what I'm seeking from you, is your extra special sauce and inner sanctum of domination, control, sensuality, experiences, etc. that all impact you and bring you to this current wonderful state of being you in all your learned kink glory. So that we may dive together into the depth that our conjoined minds and sexuality and dominance and submission can open before us when we conspire to love and serve and liberate to build a fortress of dynamic.  So please don't ask me to tell you a dark longing I've held my tongue about, because the most sexy longing I'm desiring most is to have you  meld your mind and body and spirit into me so I can become truly yours forever. 

I am not looking for casual, short term or long distance anything.  If that's you move along With you an an experienced Slave or Submissive on a daily basis ( not solely a play bottom for the bedroom = no thanks) who lives in London/Essex/Kent. Don't bother if you are more than 2 hours from those locations. 

Ooooo...I was *just* about to take off to Alli's Birthday Party when I realized that I Locked My Fucking Vehicle & House Keys Inside The House.😖😖😖😖😖😠😠😠😠😠😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬   Yeah, this time I actually *did* get Fucking Irritated.I get Annoyed/Fucking Annoyed every fucking day (to VaryingDegrees), unfortunately, but I get Irritated maybe 2-3 times yearly.This was one of them.       (I used to have a BAD Fucking Temper years ago...Embarrassing...& No Patience either. Damn Embarrassing. 😑😑😑😑😑)   I'm actually not used To Being Rushed. I'm A Loner, so I'm used To Taking My Time, but this time I gave in To Family's Wishes & when that happens then Dad Starts Rushing & Pressuring (that's why years ago I Finally Quit Going To Restaurants With Him, or even At All), & when someone starts Rushing me then I start Getting Annoyed...then maybe Irritated, so then I might then Make Mistakes.I Prefer My Own Pace.When I realized what I did, "my balloon popped" & I knew that I was NOT Going Anywhere Now. Suddenly I Had Work To Do: Breaking Into The House (freshly-showered, cleanshaven, well-dressed, smelling good, blah-blah)...Time-Consuming Annoying Hassle but a Must, certainly before I get in A Worse Mood too, sooo...yeah, I had to determine Which Window To Remove The Screen From & whoaaaaa...first Kill That Goddamned Big W Nest that was in the way that I suddenly noticed.          🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Being a submissive means being: Honest  Obedient subservient  Courteous Respectful Committed Disciplined Accepting Willingness Mindful Humility Eager An Asset Being Challenged More than a sex object  Willing to present:  Mind                                         Body                                         Spirit                                         Soul                                         Self  

Making yourself attractive to other people really does not have to be that difficult. 1. Don't be an asshole. 2. When you send an entre email, consider sending more than just "hi/hey/'sup/you look sexy" because, to be honest, for myself, and for many others, those are auto-dump phrases that will get your email tossed directly into the trash can. Have something to write that makes me actually want to converse with you.  3. Have a picture of you that is flattering. If you want anonymity, use a filter over your face. This is 2024, figure it out. The number of times I have heard the excuse, " I need to be discreet because of my job, etc" is ridiculous. I have worked in healthcare and in the school system with small children. I have had federal background checks done on me. My face is very clearly shown on several social media platforms where I am nude. I haven't had an issue. Trust me, if the government really cared if you were naked on here, you would know it already.  4. Actually read profiles and pay attention to what is in them!   

Through the Lens of Rika: The Sophia-Michael Connection Unveiled part 2   instead of starting at the beginning i want to start with the bridge.   "I can know myself, I can now myself, no one, no one knows   You know me so well, you know me so well, so let's lose ourselves   No, I can know myself, I can help myself, no one, no one knows   'Cause you, you know me so well, you know me so well, so let's lose ourselves"   sophia again is the archetype of the original source of women that comes from knowledge knowing the foresight the ability to understand what is going on..a deep awareness of the future the deep ability to see ahead of the present and to tap into past present and all directions of awareness right?   this song says, i can know myself.   she knows HERSELF first....only by knowing herself can she understand what she sees around her. and in knowing herself she sees her outside world clearly.   through seeing her outside world clearly, i typo-ed outself.....i think that's a spiritual interesting typical..outside of the self....anyway through that she can clearly understand how other mens energies around her work. and she can seek the michael aura and how it looks in the sphere of men vs. the other energy and archangel qualities men carry. and if a man doesn't have angelic energy what that looks like as well.   unless you have the ability through whatever your psychic strength is to see it, no one else might be able to pick up on what you see. and then, no one might know or the average person might not know what you are picking up on.   not only that...no one will know yourself more than you. and through knowing yourself, you can see how deep this michael uses his golden boy the lead of the angel's keen tactical warrior senses to hone in on you. to see beyond what most men would not go into understanding. and because of your awareness of yourself and others, you see how heavy this man is going in on you. and for these michael men they sniff out women like me, like my sisters in a way they can just pick up on nuances that many would take longer to get.   michael and sophia after all are the same soul cyrstal if you will broken between two gender energy expressions. and now that we have the masculine and the feminine in different bodies it can often look in a multitude of ways...and this dark starseed archetype of the two spreads the way this looks into more finite details. a core of shared basics but things people might deem as 'too separate' simply different variables to figure out which way is the most optimal at once.   once she uses her knowledge and sees you....she's ready regardless of what the outside world or other appearances say to lose herself in you! why?   because she found your energy signature and essence.   YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE THE OTHERS!!!! the song opens up in a fanfare brass moment. and it has cheers and celebratory vibes. this also goes into a vibe of fanfare of winning a war/battle spoils that would come naturally for an archangel michael masculine energy and her coming into it to celebrate the victory either romantically or a more casual but still energetically sensual/magnetic pull going on. and to be clear the pull is often not traditional in any cultural hot or sexy. it's an energy signature that can often look to most people as normal, unattractive, or bland. it's the aura/energy/psychic/emotional/mental/underbelly pull going on between the people here.   "We're not together but I feel like we're together   And you know what   That when you leave you're like a mission puzzle piece   'Cause you know   Yeah boy you know"   for the open, that puzzle piece fit is what rika is talking about here. the puzzles might fit but the pieces might be two different stories. one might be for carebears and the other image is for strawberry shortcake but both actual curves of the piece do fit. therefore it is a michael and sophia however, it might not as i mentioned been the actual romantic pair of this was my woman this is my man pre created reality. people get together and get married every day or in bdsm world get owned every day without being made for each other. this is just one outline of that situation.   when it's a meeting where they aren't going to intend anything further, it's simply as it said, a knowing when the masculine and feminine meet that they are a missing piece and this flow and synergy during the conversation is immaculate more than usual because.....'yeah boy YOU know oh'. hehe to say the least.   "I try and try a million times   I wish that I could read your mind   Day to day I can't come back"   i've done in a previous post the issue of when a sophia and michael get together this reading the mind issue. her knowledge, perception, ability to go into deep topics more than usual make it frustrating to be with someone who on the surface is so emotionally aware..but in practice either due to dealing with the world, their own disconnect over their time on earth, or their overwhelm with full on emotions and how they have learned to either compartmentalized or completely go into chaos to survive/live/thrive because this all makes it near impossible to read his mind. and the ability of knowing is all about often these things coming naturally through a lived and skilled strengthening of it. and to meet the one you can't oversight and pull info from is infuriating and a practice of submission and trust.   i'm going to do a side journey as people who are probably but not officially diagnosed as spectrum neurodivergent stuff do, because this deeper dive into the archangel michael guys and their emotions but lack of having or showing or being aware of our emotions on a deeper level is real..and what i found the solution is for those have been blessed to be in long term relationships or even starting their long term commitment to each other!! i haven't been able to have this and it seems my journey is over on actually being able to ever have this happen to me, but just because i can't, doesn't mean you can't learn from me and hopefully have

“The Lesson in the Red Chair – Part IV: Devotion at the Edge” T.L. Duncan His forehead rested lightly against my thigh— not touching enough to claim contact, but close enough to breathe in the heat of my skin. That was important. He hadn’t earned full touch yet. “Don’t lean on me,” I warned softly. “You’re in my space, not holding onto me.” He exhaled a broken sound, forcing his trembling legs to support him while keeping his forehead just shy of resting. Good. That tension would serve me well. I let my fingers hover over the back of his neck— close enough for him to feel the warmth, but never letting my skin meet his. “You’re still shaking,” I murmured with quiet amusement. “Yes, Ma’am…” “From the edge?” “Y-yes…” “Good. Stay there.” His breath caught. “You think edging is just denial,” I said, tone low and precise. “But real edging—my edging—turns your obedience into instinct. Not wanting. Not hoping. Serving.” His fingers twitched behind his back, desperate to steady himself. “Keep them still,” I said without raising my voice. He froze instantly. “That’s devotion,” I continued, leaning close enough that my breath brushed his ear. “Not touching me. Not begging. Not climbing into my lap the way your body wants to. Devotion is obeying while everything in you shakes.” He swallowed hard. “Now lift your chin. Keep your hands behind you.” He raised his face slowly, eyes wide and glassy from the ache in his thighs, the tension in his spine, the constant, torturous nearness of pleasure with no release. I placed two fingers under his jaw—light as a whisper—tilting his face up further. “There,” I murmured. “That’s what devotion looks like on you.” A shudder rolled through him, nearly taking him off his knees. “Careful,” I warned. “If you fall, we start over from the beginning.” His breath hitched; he forced every muscle to obey. “Good boy.” The phrase hit him like heat, full-body and overwhelming. His lips parted in a helpless moan he tried to swallow. “That reaction,” I said softly, tracing my fingertip down the air just above his throat without touching his skin, “is why I keep you hovering. Your devotion sharpens when your pleasure threatens to break you.” He breathed harder. “You’re going to show service while you stay edged,” I said. “Slowly. Precisely. Without touching me unless I allow it.” He nodded once, reverently. “Start by spreading your knees wider.” He did—shaking, breath catching. “Back straighter.” He corrected himself. “Open your mouth.” He did—soft, vulnerable, obedient. I leaned down, my lips hovering a fraction above his. One-inch distance. Half an inch. A breath away. His entire body seized in anticipation. Then I pulled back just enough to make him exhale in a stunned, broken whisper of need. “Not yet,” I murmured. “But your devotion just earned you something else.” He swallowed hard. “Place your hands on your thighs,” I said. He obeyed instantly. “Now run your palms slowly down them… not to touch yourself… but to show me how you present for your Domme.” He slid his palms down in a reverent motion, every movement slow, controlled, worshipful— his hands trembling as he fought not to drop into instinct. “Good,” I whispered. “Again.” He did it, hips shifting involuntarily as the edging tightened in his body. “Hold still,” I snapped. He froze, teeth clenched, lower lip trembling. “Look at me,” I said. His eyes snapped to mine, raw and pleading. “You’re offering yourself,” I said softly. “Not for release. For service. And you’ll keep doing it while your body begs you to fall apart.” He moaned, breathless. “Because I said so,” I added. His head fell back slightly, overwhelmed. “And that is what devotion feels like at the edge.” His palms slid down his thighs in that reverent, trembling motion I commanded. He was barely holding the edge of himself together — breath shuddering, muscles taut, the ache between denial and devotion turning his whole body into a live wire. “Again,” I ordered. He obeyed, slower this time, because he was losing the ability to do anything quickly. His mind had melted into obedience. His body was shaking from the precision of holding position. “Good boy,” I murmured. That word — good — broke him more than anything else. I saw it happen. The micro-collapse. The body betraying him before the mind could stop it. His knee shifted. Just half an inch. But enough. He knew it immediately. He gasped softly, panic flashing across his face, and tried to return to the exact posture — but he was already too late. I stood. The room froze around him. His breathing quickened, edging into fear-laced anticipation. I walked a slow circle around him, letting the sound of my heels carve dread into every nerve he had left. When I stopped behind him, I spoke in a low, controlled voice. “What did you just do?” His voice cracked as he whispered, “I—I slipped, Ma’am…” “You didn’t slip,” I corrected, leaning down so my breath grazed his nape. “You broke position.” “Yes, Ma’am… I’m sorry…” <

 I suppose I need to update this along with my profile. As I said in my new profile, I am currently living in Virginia and owned as part of a household so I’m no longer looking. I only come here occasionally to chat with a few people I’ve come to know. A lot changed for me at the end of last year when I moved here. This is only the second ownership situation I’ve ever been in. I have a scattered history with the couple who now own me so they aren’t a complete unknown but much of what is expected of me is very new. I am their new alpha and expected to manage the general household as well as some aspects of others that are brought in, either short term or long term. Their prior long-term slave left the household last month and they have taken on a new one, at least on a trial basis. I’m not sure if she’ll last but the mistress has faith in her becoming a permanent part of the household so time will tell I guess. For those who were curious about my tech gig work, I took a couple months off and I’m starting some new work next month. It’ll be tricky balancing that with my household duties so I’m not putting much on my plate at first. On the plus side, since I don’t have any expenses here, all of what I take in can go toward investing my future. I guess that’ll be yet another new situation for me.. lol        

I'm hesitant to update my profile. There's a few things that need changed, and a few more that need added. I wonder how long it will take to be approved... If I seemingly ignore you, keep chatting anyway, because I may be unable to respond. Updates: Reiterate that Hubby is a platonic friend, not a kink, sex, or D/s partner Political ideology matters. Drumpf=no, nuh-uh, hell naw Sub/slave skill bonus for repairing fence, organizing online selling Can't meet w/in 6 weeks, don't bother until you are. (Maybe 8 for holidays?) Be realistic!! No, you can't completely escape the Real World by being a slave in my Home. I'm not going to kidnap you and/or lock you in a cage, even if you beg and plead. That's foolish, unrealistic, and would be irresponsible for me to do.  We each have to be accountable to some degree. That's for your protection and mine. (If you don't understand this, ask.) May have The Form™️ online soon. Wish me luck! lol

pet store (1/3) you lead me into the pet store quietly, just smiling to yourself when i shiver from the cool air on my already wet pussy. you hold my hand as we walk through the store, but move to stand behind me when we get to the collars and leashes. you place your hands possessively on my hips and pull me back against you, enjoying the view down my top as my breathing speeds up. "it's time, baby," you whisper into my ear. "what kind of collar do you want?" i hadn't thought about helping you choose my collar. i had half expected to wake up one morning to find it around my throat, if i was being honest, and i was overwhelmed by the choices. i shake my head, and you feel the moment my trembling shifts from arousal to panic. you pull me closer and kiss the side of my throat. "you're not choosing," you remind me. "you're helping me, but this is not up to you." your voice is sterner now and i sink into it, letting you steady me. "clear?" "yes sir." you kiss me on the throat again, in a spot i know will soon be covered up by your collar, and i moan softly. "good girl," you murmur before letting me go. i watch you walk up the aisle before moving to the collection of leather collars. i lose track of you while i look through the rows of collars, touching the cool leather, feeling how supple or stiff they are, shaking them to see how much noise they make and how heavy they are. i turn back to you as you walk back down the aisle toward me. you pick up one of the training collars, a metal one with spikes on the inside, and hold it up, jangling it to make sure you have my attention. my breathing speeds up again and you laugh a little when i squeeze my thighs together and reach out to the wall of collars to steady myself, but you put it back on its shelf. "maybe next time," you tell me, and finish walking back to me. you reach out to touch the collar i was looking at with one hand, and the other slips under my skirt, trailing up and down the slickness coating my inner thighs. you trace those wet fingers over my lips and i greedily suck them into my mouth, moaning a little at the taste of us. you start to pull your hand away but i hold onto it, making sure i haven't missed anything and rocking my hips in time to my sucking. you laugh at my whine when you finally remove your fingers from my mouth. "such a desperate little thing you are, babe." you move to stand behind me, trapping me between your body and the wall of collars. "this one?" i don't know how your voice is completely steady, considering you have one hand under my skirt again and i can feel you getting hard. when you first brush against my pussy lips, i look around, making sure we're alone. "eyes ahead," you tell me, your fingers stroking up and down my wet cunt. "tell me why this one." "it's pretty. i like--" i stop, ging when your fingers find my clit. a light pinch from you brings me back. "i like that it looks delicate, light pink with little gold hearts." i'm trying to grind against your fingers now, but you keep them far enough away that i can't get any relief. "and?" i can't help the whine that escapes me when you slip two fingers inside me. i rock against your fingers as i continue. "i like the matching bracelet. i can wear that whenever i can't wear the actual collar. so i'm always collared. always yours." i barely squeeze it out before you're pulling your hand out from under my skirt and i whine louder. you step back and watch me as you bring your fingers to your mouth. i'm still braced against the wall, eyes closed, hips rocking against nothing. there's a trail of pussy juice dripping down my legs and i can't hold back all the little moans and whimpers. "look at you, my pathetic, wanton slut. we haven't even looked at leashes yet."

What being a sub means for me Being submissive to someone allows me to put my at ease knowing that no real pain will happen under My Dominate's protection. I know what is done is for my own benefit or theirs but not just theirs. It allows me to turn off the part if my brain always questioning or assuming something bad is about to happen. Being shown I belong to that person comforts me! I wish to find one who will help me be better! Not just for their pleasure but also in my life! Someone who will communicate their needs and consider all mine. Someone who is willing to balance not just take. Someone who has my best interest and my heart at the forefront of their mind. They guide, they support, they encourage me to be my best self! Although I struggle with it I am taking steps to better my life and work towards my goals both at work and home, I'm learning about how to be a better active listener currently and hoping to try to be more active and eat healthier.

wanting more He stole my heart he took my submission to the next level he knows just what to say and the tone to match the way his hand wraps around my throat leaving me begging for more here we go all over again begging to be in your presence i need you to guide me i know im not the easiest to be around or talking to because i seem to put walls up leaving you to break them down you have left me wet and squirming everytime i hear your voice this is the hardest thing to do is keep my composer i love you and for ever will your in my dreams your name being mentioned has me fighting against how you make me feel what have you done your like a drug i cant say no to your hands around my throat at least once when we are together

)Everybody is entitled to do what they like. However, if they are attention seekers, that's their choice. I'm personally addressing the attention seekers who seek reputation and credit through their actions. I won't reply to any specific comments as it's not my point. I'm doing my own thing, and it's not anyone else's business. It seems like I'm being targeted by others to gain attention for many different reasons, some of which are unknown to me. However, it seems that the main reason why many do so is to seek attention. You can make your own conclusions about it."

6 Minths Post 6 months post break up. Post world upside down post everything. The what if is strong for some reason  If I'd come home early and just started packing, said i know you've been cheating, I'm done. If I'd stopped fighting sooner. If If If All of them don't matter, it's done now. I am sorry I put you to the side I'm sorry your drinking got so badI'm sorry we lost us.I'm sorry I wasn't enough.

Ok I tried. I really really tried to go full on vanilla. I turned off everything. I deleted it all. I was serious. As soon as I was done the very next day I sank so far into depression. I really do hate my life. Why do I need this? Why can't I turn it off and be normal? Right now crying because there's not some man telling you what to do? Pathetic. Weak. How can I call myself a strong black woman? I'm pitiful and I can't even look at myself any more.  So why are you back then?  Like I said I'm pitiful. An ex-potential Master reached out that same next day. After 4 or 5 years ...he was like i missed you, still had your number blah blah blah and I bounced back. I do not think he is a Master but a very dark aggressive dominant vanilla man. He knows nothing of limits, protocols, needs and he blows past my limits all the time hence why I didn't submit to him before. I know I know I'm desperate. My kinks is force and control so though I know what he's doing is detrimental I also get off on my wants, and kinks being ignored for his pleasure.. OMG just the thought is making me wet and driving that insane need that's in me... Gawd I hate that feeling... No I love it, crave it but I hate that I have it ... That need that feeling ...if that makes sense. Gawd, I wish I was normal.  So I'm kinda back. The ex-potential and I will meet this Saturday so at least for a week I'm semi normal until I realize he can't be my Master and then I'll sink back into depression and wanting to end... Anyways I really do hate me. I wish there was a way to stop it. To go back to vanilla to be normal to... To... Anything is better than this   I rather seriously just end it all then continue having this need that can't be fulfilled .... I hate that my mental health is based off ownership... I hate that I went from crying and being in the dark to just happy because some guy said he MIGHT own me .. I hate how pathetic I am... I hate how weak I am .. I hate how my mind has all this taboo, gross, dark stuff... I hate me. I hate my life. If there was an easy non painful way for me to end it all I would have done that years ago.    I hate this feeling.  I hate this need.  I hate this craving.  I hate me. 

Wavy Baby: Sirenade, The Lullaby of Power, Love, and Connection this song is excellence. it provides nuturing in such a cool and curated vibe. it's an updated lullaby in a song. it's a shh shh shh whisper hug in an art deco haute couture framework. this song could be so many versions. it could be a connection to spirit and the water goddesses since it is sirenade...serenade as a siren.....it could be a song for women connection to other women. but my focus here is always about the power dynamic. in that context i hear it in two ways..it could be the submissive woman singing to the man. in the first part...it could be then the man reciprocating in the other half after the mermaid season breakdown. it could be a segment i don't talk about often due to my complete inexperience of being able to attempt this to happen for me but what exists, the daddy through the dominant woman...be it a more butch or masculine or gender fluid et all woman....or a femme woman...because similar to submissive daddy men, the feminine presenting and aligned woman that is a daddy is often overlooked...but they have and do exist for long periods of time as well.... i feel contextually given the singer is a woman it makes more sense for it to be sung for the submissive woman straight up from the dominant daddy woman's perspective in that relationship. but i feel all those apply.

 skinprof 

I've been back and forth, since before Thanksgiving , with the contract I have on a cabin In WV. Unfortunately the agent was a flake. Over the years , I've bought and sold homes. This agent was a hot mess. Finally had to get the broker involved, and replace the her.   The present one is on the ball. D and I drove to the cabin and he checked it top to bottom. There were concerns from the home inspection, and he calmed my mind. He said the place had great bones, the windows were all in good shape, the hot water heater was two years old , gas furnace will out live me, metal roof is fairly new... There is a cottage on the property, off the back set back from the cabin.  Its about eight hundred sq. feet , plus a screened in front porch! Perfect for my father, and he can't fall off. It has a kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom and full bath. It too has a new metal roof.   Added an addendum  for a few things, we'll see if they accept or counter. Saying a little prayer and crossing my fingers.   M.