When I was young. Many older ladies from my neighborhood, older cousins, sisters friends who were 8+ years older were always playing sexual type games with me. Never rape just playful type things. Many of the older ladies had 70-80 porn. When I read the stories I was most attracted to the ones about dominant  controlling women. As I got driving age I had a fake id and would go buy that type of porn on my own. I ahve had about 5 past girlfriends in which we played femdom sexual games. 3 of them with much greater intensity. One of them  I did just about everything with. So I have experienced  everything I have wanted to. I found myself to be a great oral lover and passionate pamperer. When one of the three  would reach a point when they themselves could not control their inhibition, maybe because they were having rolling organisms or near passion heights and would really let go, no concern for me or my trauma but only focused on their own pleasure, I  would become a superman sexually for them. I guess the more they were having super pleasures the more  I got into making that happen. With one of them, I was actually scared of what might happen and we could read each others thoughts without talking. That was truly amazing.   Thats a summary basically

I've been asked a lot about being poly and I thought I'd make a note here about it. I am polyamorous. I believe in multiple loves, multiple relationships, communication, trust and respect for everyone involved. I currently have my own submissive whom I've been with for 7 years and a vanilla boyfriend I've been with for two. They both live with me. They date seperately and neither of them expects to be included in my exploits (IE we DON'T DO threesomes)  We practice a "kitchen table" type polyamory where we have this cozy, happy little household where everyone gets along with everyone else. We often invite our partners and dates over for little wrestling parties (we're all huge WWE and AEW fans) and Cards Against Humanity.  I love being poly. I have so much to give.  If you have any questions and would like me answer them here in my journal please feel free to write me.  your girl joy

So, if you ask have you owned or collared someone.. The answer is quite definitely yes. Currently collared.. little boy..Shyboy. I see him on the weekends and on some occasions on Friday  stay over into Saturday.  I have another potential that I will see what happens with Natasha.   Under consideration for a 24 7 live in domestic slave position.    I do have a few play partners that I do see as submissive on occasion.    Now in the past had a collared masochist.. He was amazing, and I do miss him. I have had a sissy collared. And I have had one who signed a contract with me 6 yrs sgo.ago.. That actually turned out to not work and had to have his collar removed. Due to topping from the bottom, as well as found out he was into illegal activities that are not tolerated.  Plus his attitude showed that he was totally unworthy.     

The sunset is rapidi will miss the intensityof blazing orange and rusted yellow.Hints of glorious red and hued pinksdissapearing; retreating fast the orb.Just one blink and half a century waslost behind the soft slopes of purple hills.Now, only a few clouds speak of whatwas once here. Their imperfect shapesreflecting a blaze of fire that hides in silence.i cannot handle Your silence.i will faithfully wait for You to rise and return.~ dirtydarling

prt 2 ... This was the first one on one interaction I'd had with
a female for over a month, and I'm ashamed to say that with
the smell of her perfume and her proximity to me, I was feeling
the tingles of an erection.
As we talked our legs occasionally touched each other,
and I was always the one to move. June told me that 23 was no
age and that a good looking young guy like me would have no
problem finding someone new. I tried to get off the subject
and asked about her. She was divorced from Emma's dad
for some 20 years now and never seemed to have any interest
in dating again. She smiled and put her hand on my knee and
squeezed and told me I was sweet. I must admit I blushed a
little. She seemed to take courage from my blushing and
moved her hand slightly up my leg and squeezed gently again
. Her smile was even broader as I began to squirm a little
trying to hide my growing erection. Her eyes held mine as
she slid her hand further up my thigh and her thumb brushed
the tip of my erection. She swirled her thumb around the
head making it twitch. I went to stand but her other hand
reached over and grabbed my knee firmly. I went to speak
but she seductively shushed me. Her thumb was joined by
the rest of her hand. I pushed upwards. June smiled and pulled her hand away. Leaving my cock twitching
in my jeans.
She asked me if I liked that, I dumbly nodded. She asked if I wanted more, again I nodded. Smiling, she leaned in and
kissed me gently on the lips, her tongue quickly darting
in and out of my mouth. She pulled away and told me to stand
up and strip as she wanted to see me naked. I was sexually
hypnotized, my little head was doing the thinking and the
rest of my body was just going along for the ride. I stood
in front of her, she smiled and leaned back on the sofa as
I took off my shirt. She leaned forward and undid my belt,
and pulled it from the hoops of my jeans, folded it and
laid it across her lap. I undid my jeans and let them drop
and stepped out of them. My hard as iron cock was trying its
best to escape its boxer short prison. I hesitated for a
second but her smile encouraged me and I slid them off as
well.
She reached over and cupped my hard balls and gently squeezed
, My cock throbbed and I almost exploded as she took the head
in her lips and sucked gently flicking it with her tongue. What happened next took me totally by surprise and I nearly
fell over. She wound the belt around my thighs and pulled
it tight. I found my footing and put my legs together and
she took the opportunity to pull it tighter till it was biting
into my thighs. She fastened it.
I must have had the dumbest of looks on my face as she stood
. Her hand reached down and stroked my cock and she kissed
me gently on the lips. She pulled away and smiled as I leaned
into her. As she walked around me, her warm hands stroking
my chest, gently pulling on the hairs. She kissed my shoulder
and neck. Biting ever so gently. She stroked my back, I felt
her nail lightly scratch. Her hand slid down and gave my
tight ass cheeks a squeeze. I was in a haze as she reached
into her bag. I became more confused as she pulled out a scarf
and tied tightly around my eyes. I heard a jingle then felt
cold steel being tightened around my wrist and then my arms
being pulled behind me and the other wrist was cuffed. I
felt her circle me. I winced as she pinched me and poked me
. She squeezed my balls hard and I almost doubled. Holding onto my shoulders, she gently pushed me. I shuffled the best
I could. She stopped and I figured we were in the middle of
the room.  

The Blue you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try your call again. (**If the above message doesn't make sense to you, or ring a Ma Bell, then you're probably too young for me. LOL.) 3/14/22 I'm going to be catching up on life stuffs for a bit. This happens now and then when I'm overwhelmed with answering folx on here, and rather than feel like a jerkwaffle for logging in and not responding, I just don't log in at all. *sigh*  You're welcome to leave a message, and I will get back when I can muster the mental resources to do so. If you're local, say hi at Game Night or the Kinky Carnival.  Wanna really get my attention when I'm back on? Show me your best Semantle score. *cackle*

  My story  Where to start ? I like many Tgs, I started at a very young age , i was treated different , family members dressed me in effeminate clothes,  and taught me domestic skills , sewing cooking,  cleaning , serving food and beverage to others. Already trained as a feminine physical submisive by the time I was 6 . I had my first encounter with 2 sisters that lived across the street.  We were playing in their back yard , and they had me get  in a big cardboard box.. Where I grew up backyards were very large and acre or 2 so a backyard seemed immense, and you could be isolated yet still be in the yard . Amy way  they started telling me a story about giant would challange their pray , before they devoured it. As they told the story , they had me strip , to show the spiders I would follow the orders , soon I was in a box naked with the girls holding my clothes . My last test to prove to the spider I should not be devoured would be to stay in the box until they returned . I stayed in the box the rest of the day until it got dark . Then the oldest sister came out and dropped my clothes in the box and told me I could go and one day would make someone very happy. I got dressed and hurried home as fast as I could , but i had missed dinner and it was dark , two rules icouldn't break.  I walked into the house to the waiting belt of my father and the screams and swats of my mother for being late . Though the pain was intense I was used to it , to me this is how parents showed theoir love.  And unknown to me at the time  was about to come next in the new house . Sometimes  I still wonder what happened to the sisters  they moved a few weeks later , and my family  moved a  months later.  

Why sub men need to be feminist allies I firmly believe that any submissive man must, obviously, be a feminist. Feminism by definition is the belief that women are human beings with the same rights as any human being. (The idea that feminism is about female supremacy is propaganda created by misogynists to try to argue against women having any rights at all.) That said, submissives routinely insist that women are superior, and FemDom porn is some of the most popular BDSM porn out there. I would hope that to believe that women are superior would require that men first believe that they are equal. One of the biggest complaints I hear from subs is that there just aren't enough Dominant women in the world to go around. There's a very good reason for that. In the book I'm currently writing, I discuss how girls are raised radically different than boys. From our earliest experience, any hint of assertiveness is usually squashed as "bossy" or "aggressive" or "unfeminine" and then later as "bitchy." The terms a "good girl" is defined by are usually submissive, demure words, urging us to be quiet, polite, deferring to the pleasure of adults in general and males specifically. Blanche Black paints a very good picture of this in her Feminism 101 article, and the MetaFilter discussion "Where's My Cut" is literally thousands of women giving examples of how they were crammed into the role of caregiver with strong social, economic and even physical consequences for ing or questioning it. We are programmed from birth to be doormats, and are told we are genetically predisposed to be happy about it. To go from that upbringing to being an assertive adult is a massive undertaking. I know a majority of the women in my life never even realize that they are following roles and rules they never agreed to. It usually takes a huge life event to force that awareness on us, and then years of hard work re-creating our understanding of communication and relationships to learn to stop playing that part and instead to stand up and assert ourselves. To stop allowing others to demand and take and expect, etc, and instead start working toward taking care of ourselves first, demanding equal effort from our partners, being willing to be alone rather than be subjugated. To move into the confidence and self-reliance necessary to dominate ... that's a new world. I'm not talking about becoming a bitch who uses and abuses and negates the feelings and needs of others to get her way. I'm talking about being able to walk away from what doesn't serve us and require a higher level of interaction from anyone who wants to stay in our presence. I'm talking about being unwilling to tolerate poor behavior, from others, or from ourselves. That requires a sea change. A total re-writing of the base code that made us from our first memories. It almost never happens by accident. It almost never comes without great pain and sacrifice. It's almost always worth it. But it's always an uphill battle that never ends, because nearly the entire world we live in is still trying to tell us that we aren't being feminine, or desirable, or kind, if we aren't giving away whatever it whims to want. We are still being told that we'll be alone, that we are bitches or worse, sometimes it brings violence and poverty and suffering, because this world doesn't want women to be assertive, and it doesn't tolerate them being dominant. If you want to have dominant women, you have to start with allowing them equality. Not special privilege. Just the same privilege men have to think what they want, without being told they are failing as females. The same privilege to act for themselves and not just for others. The same choices and freedoms and safetys to exist without being attacked for it. If you want to have dominant women in the world, you have to be a feminist, and moreover, you have to be an ally. Aggressively so, because until feminist men outnumber and overwhelm the rest, you are going to have to counteract the bullshit message the rest are constantly putting out there telling us to SUBMIT! You, submissive male, must be the active agent that makes the safe space for every woman to express her thoughts and feelings and wants and to act on them without recrimination. You will have to stand up to other men, because they don't hear it when we say it. You will have to call out your friends when they catcall or mansplain or talk over a woman or _(insert male domineering behavior here____) to a woman. I'm not saying that every woman you do this for will become a Dominant Woman. I am saying that almost no women can without it, and if nothing else, you can make the first steps in that direction less of a battle for them. Go forth, and create the world that lets us first become people, equal and unencumbered, and Dominant Women will become ever more common, until almost every submissive male that wants one can find one.

Personal information about me  single male, never married no children full head of hair have all my teeth none tobacco light social drinker self-employed flawed, work to be better kind, honest, trustworthy genuine and seek it too relocatable within USA  Important Lifestyle Relationship must knows i believe in Safe Sane and Consensual. i believe in being of value, not a doormat. turned on by women who are dominant and aggressive inside of relationship. it's hard to turn down a beautiful set of feet and ten toes. kneeling at feet of Goddess, feels so good. attracted to women who have kindness and stern when need be. turned off by women who are just right down mean in life. high priority for worshipping women as a my Goddess, showing and giving her respect. yes i will cook, clean and wash the window. Always leave the toilet seat down, never up. mutual attraction, both inside and out. i want to get to know you. being geniune, honest, trustworthy and good communication. good sense of humor, able to laugh at one's self and enjoy others. not looking to be paid or looking to pay anyone. 

Here’s a sensual, evocative poem that embraces intimacy and desire. **Kindling** Come closer, and let silence speak,   In whispers soft, in touches sleek.   Your breath against my skin, so near,   Ignites the spark, dissolves the fear.   Fingertips trace in whispered lines,   Mapping secrets, as bodies entwine.   With each soft touch, we come undone,   Bound together 'til night is spun.   In this dark world, we’ve found our place,   Time slows to linger, breathes to taste.   The ache of longing fades to peace,   In arms that hold and will not cease.   We meet like fire, we burn like sun,   Two shadows melding, joined as one.   Lost in rhythm, a timeless flight,   In whispered heat, through endless night.    

sacred symphony: where love, lust, and devotion meet i’ve found myself at the crossroads of neurodivergence, spirituality, and kink—a meeting place where dominance isn’t just about power but about the profound and unending interplay of trust, ownership, and devotion. writing about these experiences feels like capturing the essence of an eternal union, where love, lust, and passion merge with spiritual and physical commitment to create a connection that transcends the fleeting and becomes permanent. this isn’t about navigating the surface of dating; it’s about diving into the sacred depths of what it means to fully belong to one another—body, mind, and soul. it’s about exploring devotion as an act of ultimate union, a fusion of spiritual and carnal energies that defy time and space. through my words, i seek to articulate the beauty and power of a connection that isn’t just a relationship but a lifelong symphony of surrender, love, and sacred commitment.  

 Captive Desire   The night was quiet, save for the occasional creak of the house settling. Olivia Bennett sighed, shutting her laptop with a soft click. Midnight again. She stretched, rolling the tension from her shoulders, and glanced around the empty house.   Jake was away on business. Connor was at a sleepover.   It was just her.   And then—a sound.   A soft, deliberate thud from the garage.   Her pulse spiked. She sat still, listening, waiting. The house held its breath.   Another sound—this time a scrape, like something dragging across concrete.   Her heart hammered as she stood. Probably nothing. A box falling, the wind knocking over the broom—something harmless.   Still, she grabbed her phone and padded downstairs, flicking on the hallway light. The garage door loomed ahead.   She hesitated.   Then, hand trembling, she unlocked it and stepped into the cool, dimly lit space.   The scent of motor oil and dust filled her nose. Her car sat untouched. The shelves were undisturbed. Everything looked normal.   A sigh of relief left her lips—   And then the light went out.   Darkness swallowed her.   The shift in the air was immediate.   A presence.   Her breath hitched.   Before she could move, strong arms wrapped around her, yanking her back against a hard, unyielding chest. A gloved hand clamped over her mouth, stifling her scream.   Hot breath tickled her ear.   “Shhh,” a low, masculine voice murmured. “Don’t fight it.”   Her pulse slammed against her ribs.   She struggled, kicking, thrashing—but he was too strong.   A thick cloth pressed to her mouth, something sickly sweet invading her senses. Her limbs grew heavy. The world tilted.   Darkness.   She woke to a whisper against her skin.   The air was thick, warm, carrying the scent of something rich—cologne, leather, danger.   She stirred, wrists bound above her, ankles tied to the posts of a bed—his bed.   Her breath caught.   The room was dim, candlelit, casting flickering shadows against dark wooden walls.   And then—him.   A man, clad in all black, standing at the foot of the bed. A mask hid his face, smooth and featureless, but his presence was commanding.   Powerful.   He trailed a gloved hand down her leg, slow, possessive.   “I’ve been watching you, Olivia,” he murmured. “Waiting for the right moment.”   A shiver coursed through her.   She should be terrified. She was terrified. But beneath the fear, something darker stirred. Something she didn’t want to name.   He knew.   His fingers traced the delicate lace of her nightgown, teasing along the hem.   “I wonder,” he mused, voice velvety, “how long you’ll resist before you give in.”   She swallowed hard. “I—I won’t.”   He chuckled, low and knowing. “No?”   His hand moved higher.   Her breath hitched.   Her body betrayed her.   Heat pooled in her core, a flush rising to her skin.   He leaned closer, breath fanning over her lips. “Your body says otherwise.”   She turned her face away, but he caught her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze—though she couldn’t see his eyes, she felt his dominance.   “Tell me to stop,” he whispered.   She parted her lips—   But the words never came.   He hummed in approval. “That’s what I thought.”   And then his mouth was on her, claiming her.   Possessive. Insatiable.   A captor. A stranger. A master of her pleasure.   And she let him take her.   Over.   And over.   Until she forgot what it felt like to be free.  

Secret Room "They met, irregularly, at the secret room and at his apartment in the Haight. She had the feet of a ballerina and the temperament of a harpsichord, and she possessed a certain willingness to be cold." -Lindsay Hill, Sea of Hooks    

The artist Nas once said that life is a bitch and then you die. I agree wholeheartedly. That is why I try to live life to the fullest everyday. Several things occured over the past two years that have significantly changed my life. Im not writing this post to complain about those things but to reflect on how those things have influenced my choice to fulfill a long time fantasy that up until this point in my life seemed unrealistic.  Tomorrow, I have a realtor coming to my home to list it for sale. I will be selling my home and moving in with my submissive so that we can build our 1950s household. She lives in Philadelphia so this will not only be an opportunity to live out my fantasy but it will also be a fresh start in a new city. The circumstances that created this possibility were not desireable but I am happy that they pushed me towards fulfilling one of my long time fantasies.  Life is a bitch and then you die.....so you may as well make the best of it while you can.    

¿Es necesario el amor en una relación BDSM?Respuesta rápida: depende. Como siempre dar like, compartir, comentar, seguir https://amaasht.art.blog/2023/03/19/de-amor-y-bdsm-nunca-nuevo-siempre-actual/

The Ocean Does Not Apologize for Its Depth   There are women who dominate and there are women who *are* dominance, the way the ocean is not something that contains water but is the water, is the depth, is the pressure and the pull and the ancient, indifferent power of something that existed long before you arrived on its shore and will exist long after you have gone. I am the second kind. This is not a role I step into. It is what I am made of, down to the cellular level, the way the ocean is made of salt and motion and the kind of patience that only belongs to things that have never once needed to hurry. You come to the shore of me with everything you are. I want you to understand what that means before you take another step. The ocean does not meet you halfway. It does not soften its edges to make the entry more comfortable. It simply is what it is, in its entirety, at full depth and full force, and what happens to you when you enter it is entirely dependent on your willingness to stop fighting the current and let the water do what water does. The people who struggle against the ocean are the ones it takes. The ones who surrender to it, who release the desperate grip of their own buoyancy and let the water take the weight, those are the ones who discover that it will hold them. That the very thing that felt like it would consume them is also, in its way, the most complete support they have ever known. This is the theology of your surrender. Not the performance of it. The real thing. I want you empty. Genuinely, completely empty, cleared of every opinion about yourself that you arrived with, every defense you have constructed across a lifetime of needing to protect something, every carefully managed presentation of who you are and what you can handle and how much you are willing to give. I want the vessel clean. Because I intend to fill it, every part of it, with something it has never held before, and there is no room for what I am bringing if you are still crowded with what you came with. Walt Whitman wrote that he contained multitudes. You, in this context, will contain precisely one thing: me. My will, my presence, my pleasure, my standard, my voice in the place where your own voice used to be the loudest thing in the room. This is not diminishment. This is the most complete thing I know how to offer another person. To be so thoroughly known and so thoroughly claimed that the boundary between your purpose and my desire becomes academic, becomes irrelevant, becomes a line so worn from crossing that it simply ceases to exist. The ocean fills every space available to it. Every crack in the rock, every hollow in the sand, every place that offers itself and every place that does not, eventually. It does not ask permission of the shoreline. It simply arrives, and it arrives completely, and it keeps arriving, tide after tide, with the patient certainty of something that has never once doubted its own nature or its own direction. That is what my dominance feels like from the inside. The certainty of water finding its level. Matthew Arnold stood on Dover Beach and heard the ocean's roar as the sound of a world that offers neither joy nor love nor light nor certitude nor peace, only the eternal note of sadness underneath everything human. But I hear it differently. I hear it as the sound of something that does not negotiate. Something that has been devouring shorelines since before language existed to describe the loss, that takes the rock and the sand and the carefully constructed walls of human certainty and makes them, over time, into nothing but new shapes of itself. The ocean does not mourn what it consumes. It simply continues. This is the quality of my dominance that I most want you to sit with: not the drama of it but the continuity. The patient, absolute, unstoppable continuation of a nature that was never going to be anything other than what it is. Give me everything. Not the generous portion. Not the carefully considered offering of the parts of yourself you have decided you can afford to lose. Everything. The parts you are proud of and the parts you are ashamed of and the parts you have never shown anyone because you were not certain they could be trusted with them. Bring all of it to the water. Let it go. Watch what I do with it. Because here is what the ocean knows that the shore does not: the surrender is the point. The emptying is not the loss. It is the preparation. The space you clear when you release everything you have been holding is exactly the space I intend to inhabit, and what I bring to fill it is larger and stranger and more sustaining than anything you were protecting by keeping yourself so carefully full of yourself. You were not built to be your own container. You were built to be mine. Kneel at the water's edge. Feel the pull of it. That pull is not danger. That pull is recognition.   I release what I was before this shore. I bring myself empty and offer that emptiness as gift. I am the hollow that her presence fills. I do not end where she begins. I am most myself when I am most completely hers. The ocean does not ask permission. Neither does she. I am grateful for both.   Go under.   She will bring you back. She always does.

To clarify my position. I'm seeking a serious Master/Dom for a deep meaningful relationship built on genuine connection and commitment. If your interests are solely focused on fetishes and kinks, without deeper emotional and mental involvement, we're not a true match. I desire a partner who inherently needs to lead and control; someone for whom this dynamic is authentic and needs the feeling of D/s in the background. My ideal is a lifestyle rooted in the nature of HoH, TiH and TPE. It's the natural path for me. Take my hand. I will eagerly follow :) The information below is added here because this site has glitched my weight, showing it in kgs, instead of lbs. Size UK12-14 (not US). 10st 5lbs. Thanks 

Please do not contact me if only you are looking for a chat buddy. I will not endlessly text with anyone.  There should be progression in getting to know someone and not just text messaging. There should be phone calls at some point when both are comfortable. But if I have text back-and-forth with someone for a couple of months I will lose interest and discontinue communication. I don't know about anyone else, but for me personally typing in a code every time I send a message gets tiresome. At some point the conversation needs to be taking either by voice or video chat. I'm sure we have all come across scammers or fakes pretending to be something they are not. I do not mean just men, women as well. Just because I am submissive does not mean I am gullible or a doormat. I am a submissive woman, not your submissive. Be respectful of my time as it is a valuable resource just like yours is. Respect is a two-way street.   FYI: I am seeking a masculine/Alpha man that is tall, I prefer men 6'2 or taller. Although no shorter than 6 feet tall. 

Today marks the beginning of my search for a domestic servant to assist with various household tasks. I am looking for a unique arrangement that emphasizes mutual comfort and understanding.    Position Overview:  Type: Unpaid  Responsibilities: Light housekeeping duties, organization, and general assistance around the home.  Skills: Massage skills would be a notable plus, as I appreciate relaxation and wellness.   Working Environment: I welcome a clothing-optional atmosphere, prioritizing comfort and personal freedom. It’s essential to foster an environment where both the servant and I can feel at ease.   I will take time to thoughtfully consider candidates, ensuring they align with these criteria while maintaining a positive, respectful dynamic.    As I navigate this search, I’ll focus on effective communication and transparency to cultivate a healthy working relationship.

I am tired.  I am wore slap out already.   Working 10- 12 hour days.. Six days a week and four hours the seventh.  It has gotten old very quickly while I wait for bosses to make decisions on who will be my next assistant without consideration from me.   The stress of work, the stress of house, has me completely blown out.  I collapse into exhausted sleep every evening now, while thoughts of work and how I will have the energy to get the most simple of things done at house that I need to get taken care of.   These are my days right now.   So forgive me if I get a little on edge when the word fun is thrown at me like a ball to my dog.  I dont have time for fun. I have a department to run.  I couldnt care less about fun.  I care about making it through the next day with hopefully a little less stress than the last.  I care about making it through my contract so I can get my rearend home where I will be happier.   Fun is good and all, but it is not the focus of my life.  It is not the focus of what I want in a relationship.   Sorry for the rant y'all.  I am just so tired of hearing... what are you doing fun tonight or well thats no fun.  Shaking my head.  I am beginning to detest that word with a passion.

just noticed they finally brought journals back, so I thought I would take advantage... What is your purpose of being online?  Mine is simple, to get to know others in the lifestyle, to see if any can not only meet my expectations of as ub slave but also understand how they can fit in my busy life. If I need to invest MY time into fulfilling your online fantasies, then I am simply not getting anything of value out of speaking with you.  it is one thing to discuss limits and interests, to gauge compatibility,  it is another to feed your fantasy with no return for my pleasure... at least that is not for me.   Still think you're here for the same reasons as myself?  Great, but here's the thing, would you walk into a job interview unprepared? Similarly,  why approach a Domme if you are not prepared... mentally or physically. I don't expect much from those who message me, atleast not in the beginning, but I do expect you to know why you are here, that you are prepared to speak, with the hopes of serving, and that you are honest and forthcoming, not just with Me, but with yourself. So, why are you here?

An evening, recalled by the lady, written by me.It was late afternoon and it had been a tough day at the Commission. His kiss when he met me at the station was warm and affectionate; we chatted on the way to the hotel and as we checked in. When we arrived in the room I dumped my stuff on the bed and went out onto the veranda to look out over the lake. A few minutes later I heard him say ‘come here please’. I turned to see him with an impassive look on his face and standing in the middle of the room pointing at the floor just in front of his feet. He took hold of me around my waist and as he kissed me deeply, his hands travelled from my waist down my hips and across my bottom. Then up my back to my neck and then he felt my hair. He murmured ‘give me your tongue’ and I slipped it between his teeth. He nipped it and held it between his upper teeth and tongue. It was uncomfortable but not painful, he had done it often before and I had grown to like it. His hands resumed their journey around my upper body. They were firm, confident and moved without any hesitation. I could not have ed even if I had wanted too and the welcome feeling of melting inside began. He then released my tongue, kissed my lips then he turned me around and bent me over so my elbows were on the bed. He lifted my skirt and folded it over my back. His hands then roved freely over my bottom and between my thighs. He felt my mons, traced the line of my slit and ran his fingertips between down the crease between my buttocks, pausing to press on my anus. He then held me firmly against his thigh and began to spank me- this had recently become a regular beginning to our time together. One spank per cheek, then two, then three, they landed on my upper thighs and the curve of my bottom. He stopped at six and spent a few minutes gently rubbing my bottom, occasionally slipping his hand between my thighs. At ten per cheek it was stinging a lot. By twelve I was having difficulty keeping still. It was the knowledge that if I moved he would start again that kept me in position. The spanking was not unexpected and it had the desired effect. I felt myself starting to melt inside even more as he rubbed my stinging bottom and thighs once again. He stopped and made me stand. Then looked me in the eye, and then said ‘I have a few issues to resolve with you’. My stomach took a lurch, I’d been here before, he had shown no sign of real annoyance with me recently but then he never really did. He took me by the chin, looked into my eyes and said ‘strip and kneel’. He then turned and went to the veranda. It only took a minute to remove all my clothes and jewellery. I knelt, apprehensive about his return, embarrassed it had been a warm day; I had been wearing tights and had not had the time to wash and prepare myself for him. My make up had gone and I knew I did not look my best. He returned and pushed me forward to my knees and elbows. Pulling back my hair he locked my leather collar around my neck. It felt strange after the long break since I last wore it. The wrist cuffs were fitted next before he clipped them behind my back pinioning my wrists. He pulled my collar by its short leash to make me kneel up and then buckled a gag around my neck and pushed the red ball behind my teeth before tightening   it. He turned me so my back was to the mirror and placed a low backed chair in front of me. He could now see both the back and front of me. Sitting on the chair he told me to part my thighs wide and to emphasise the point his foot nudged my knees wide apart. I hoped he wasn’t going to touch me between my thighs as he so loved too, I so regretted not taking a shower immediately we arrived in the room. From his pocket he took some butterfly style nipple clips. I hate them and he knows it, he threaded their chain into the ring at the front of my collar and after pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefinger to make them fully erect he clipped one to each nipple. The discomfort was almost unbearable, I instinctively closed my thighs, and he ed and gently tugged the chain, sending sharp jolts through me. I did as I was told and spread my thighs wide, pushing my mons forward as far as I could. The gag muffling my weak protests. He spoke slowly, jerking the chain on saying each word. ‘Three weeks ago you forgot your make up, two weeks ago your stockings, last week your high shoes. You have arrived in my company wearing tights for the last 4 weeks, hence the immediate spankings. You have not kissed or greeted me properly on meeting for the same length of time. You make up today is poor, your hair isn’t brushed and you have not left your pubic hair as I instructed. In short young lady you are marring your beauty. You are fully aware how beautiful I think you are and you are distracting from it by being sloppy and that disappoints me. I will not accept you detracting from the pleasure I take in having such a desirable woman as my lover. Do you understand?’ I nodded, my eyes starting to water from the discomfort in my nipples and the realisation of how I had disappointed him. There was also the knowledge that I had been here before and if it followed a similar pattern then this was the case against me. By nodding I admitted my guilt. So I was about to punished for being a sloppy and inattentive submissive who had disappointed her Dominant.  He helped me to my feet by lifting me by the collar on my ring; it also had the effect of tugging on my nipples. He reversed his chair and tugged the chain as he removed each nipple clip. It stung as the blood filled each nipple, my knees almost buckled each time, the gag muffling the g. He then connected my wrists cuffs in front of me, and bent me over the back of his chair so my weight rested on my elbows. ‘Part your legs’ he said, I complied and hoped he would decide to have me, not cane me. I was to be disappointed, though recently spanked I accepted I had earned this too. He fetched a cane from his bag as I waited anxiously. Holding the back of my collar he rested the cane against my bottom, drew it back and struck me. ‘One‘ he said. All I did was hear the sound then the harsh sting reached my brain! He was using the flat cane.  A piece of flexible wood two feet long, an inch wide and a quarter of an inch thick. It didn’t leave tram lines or scars; I knew its stinging would last for ages and leave a square red mark on each buttock, but it would not bruise very much. Not that it seemed important at that moment. Though I find the cane painful, the thonged whip he occasionally uses is worse. Its thick strands inflict weal’s and their tips can get into the most intimate parts of my body. I’ve also known him use it on my breasts and belly. Each cane stroke went slightly lower until the last 3 all struck where the tops of my thighs and my bottom met. My legs kicked out from the stinging, by now I had dribbled spittle around the gag, my eyes were streaming and my nose had started to run. He let go the back of my collar and returned the cane to his bag. Returning he pulled me upright by my collar and turned me to face him. I refused to look him in the eye; I must have looked a real mess. He took my chin again forcing me to look into his eyes. I felt so ashamed of my appearance. He had told me I was beautiful so very often and it made me feel so proud when he said it. Now I had let him down by being too complacent. He unclipped the wrist cuffs, reattaching then in front. He said ‘Do you understand what I have told you?’ I nodded. ‘Then get down on your belly on the floor and spread your legs, I haven’t finished with you yet.’ My mind raced, would it be the whip now, on my bottom? I knelt and lay on the floor, my bottom was really stinging and the carpet was rough against my sore nipples, my belly and mons. I spread my thighs wide, dipped my spine and waited. I heard the pop of a tube of lubricant being opened. It wasn’t the whip!! The lube felt cold against my anus as he applied just enough. He undressed, I could feel him looking at my prone body, the line of my sex and the rose of my anus. I was fully exposed because it was how he wanted me to be. He knelt between my thighs and pumped his cock to make the head larger. He spread my bottom cheeks with one hand and pressed his cock against my anus with the other. The tip entered me, it was so uncomfortable. I had forgotten how tight a caning made the cheeks of my bottom clench. He pushed into me, stretching me. I struggled and tried to object; he held me and reminded me of the presence of the whip. Once he was past the muscular ring I relaxed as the discomfort subsided somewhat; I felt the cool of his skin against my hot bottom. He reached and took hold of my hair and collar, pulling them back. At the first slow thrust he said ‘one’. The thrusts were slow and firm, they made my bottom sting though my anus soon adapted to the presence of his cock. He told me to squeeze my buttocks together as he withdrew his cock, and relax as he thrust in. I tried to do so; each time I failed he added two extra thrusts. He was punishing me and reminding me of his dominance by not taking pleasure from the stimulation my anus could give him. It was a reminder that sexual pleasure could not be an excuse for a lack of submission. It was a relief when he reached 100 and stopped counting and thrusting. I was glad he was no longer forcing my nipples against the rough carpet, and his tummy was no longer making my sore bottom sting more. But I immediately missed the closeness and intimacy of the man I so wanted yet had disappointed. He pulled me to my feet by my collar, removed the ball gag and lifted my chin. I must have looked a real mess as I worked my jaw to stop it aching, I certainly felt a mess and I promised him and myself not to let my appearance or behaviour slip again. He kissed me and said he loved me; I’m not sure if it made me feel any better- or if it was supposed to! He led me by the arm into the bathroom and told me to wash his cock and balls. I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked horrendous! Mascara running, the marks of the gag around my mouth, spittle around my chin and collar and my nose running! I looked away ashamed as he wet a towel to clean the lube from between my buttocks. He turned me around so my back was to the mirror and rubbed the wet towel firmly between my buttocks, it stung where it touched the red marks.  I heard him say, ‘You have 30 minutes until dinner. Be ready on time.’ I knew that I would make him the proudest man alive when he let me take his arm to dinner. 30 minutes wasn’t long. But I so wanted to see that look of desire in his eyes that I would ensure I was just as he wanted me to be. I knew just how good he would make me feel in return. He went to the veranda to watch the sun set. I set to work, though I did sneak a look at the red marks on my bottom. They made me feel strangely proud because they were his marks and I had submitted to him. He had put them there and there was nothing I could have done about it even if I wanted to. Now I didn’t know what he was going to do with me later, but after being disciplined he always had something special planned for me! 

I’ve been sitting on an idea… and I think it’s time to bring it to life. I’m putting together a show called Hierarchy Protocol. A real space. A real house. Real people. For one week, a select group of submissives, slaves, and Dommes will live under structure. Roles will be assigned. Tasks will be given. Behavior will be observed. No fantasy. No hiding behind a screen. Just how you actually function. I’m not looking for everyone. I’m looking for people who are serious, who understand discipline, and who are willing to step into something real and be seen. This is still in the early stages, so I’m also looking for people who are willing to help build it—production, ideas, structure, whatever you bring that’s actually useful. So I’ll ask you directly— Would you be willing to step into something like this? Or help me bring it to life? If so… come talk to me. — Goddess Nikki

      Only locals Im not investing in anyone long distance. No requests, inquiries, small talk. No coffee-low effort meet ups. Stay with your loved ones if you believe anyone here deserves crumbs of your effort to validate the "potential " of your existence.  "How can you make My life better?" Isn't something I am ashamed to ask, request and demand. Slaves and subs expect energy,time,  attention, training, be allowed in My presence and into My world since most are so god damn broke to have their finances or life together.  I pity the Women in your life if your only form of sacrifice and servitude is a humiliation to you to clean or serve domestically- that is the basic, most bare minimum thing you do In your own lives- no depth, no recent photo of yourselve, no negotiating "if it works" -wtf- it's if you fit into My life, add value to it, enhance and make it better. that is the goal. Not how I make yours better since it will by Me simply being in it. That sort of knowledge of who I am in this lifestyle isnt bragging and no, I am not ashamed to put Myself first- this is why I only have energy to focus on successful masculine men( power exchange isn't an exchange if there's no POWER) most subs and slaves here are so god damn selfish. who seek to be applauded and recognixed for small low effort gestures that only benefit them.  tips: Read journals interests and profile before sending messages.you will not be for everyone. Not everyone will be for you. If they have blank page, move on.  Learn more about yourself and who you are in this lifestyle. The foundation in knowing who you are and what’s your purpose and goal will help you find the right person.  If you're a sub or a slave- Is not about you. It’s what you can do for Me/dominants. Hire a pro if you approach with an specific fantas, demand, requirement. Do not submit to just anyone, it can be dangerous for you and the other person- don’t be in a rush.      Nothing personal if I don't message back to everyone, or block you, but I’ve trained and get invested in people over the years- their lives. Someone new that right out of the bat says they are new and don’t even have much; money, time, energy, focus… for Me- doesn’t interest Me. I am very interested in POWER EXCHANGE. No power? you don't have My interest. I am interested in My well being, My stability, all I have attained and accomplished in My professional, businesses and personal life. and I care far too much and get invested way too much with subs and slaves for those who are too comfortable or seek banal superficial connection or a fantasy sexual release.   

At Her feet… …a place to kneel in devotion …a place to listen attentively …a place to adore Her mind …a place to worship Her body …a place to understand a lesson …a place to feel home …a place for so much more…

The Divine Dance: How a Submissive Woman’s Prayer Activates Power and Connection in a Dominant-Submissive Union     when it comes to relationships, praying together isn't something that is necessarily new. or unique. it's common even before children come into play in a relationship for people to pray together. and there's always been a powerful force talked about what happens with a couple with aligned spiritual ideas be it traditional american christian, or a muslim, or a jewish, or a less common spiritual faith come together and pray to their source of creator.   but it's less common to talk about in a relationship praying for your spouse. and then when it is, it's in the framework of uplifting your spouse up. and the conversation sort of stopping there.   but there's actually another layer that is often not talked about. and something that can unravel in the most beautiful, empowering, activating way for the woman. in a spiritual, physical, emotional, psychological way.   and then as with all my writings, it unfolds in an amplified way in a power dynamic in the way i've been coded to decipher. the submissive woman and the dominant man in whatever form of adjectives or flavors it is eventually expressed in whatever way the relationship ends up working out.   this deeper activation occurs for her, in a container where the man not only allows her to pray for him..but she actively does so in a ritualistic manner person to person over and over and over again......something awakens in herself. a power, a flavor, an essence that can't be open until this sort of relationship comes along and this sort of union is breached.   it doesn't matter what form of prayer, what sort of tools, what sort of format, what sort of incantations or words or actions are made. it all boils down to the same result.   once the session starts a fire is kindled in the heart chakra. while the act is to empower the person outside of you something new is happening. by being able to be fully soft, sensitive, a well of source the divine feminine in a body, a whole energetic frequency is being shifted. it transports the woman from just herself into an energetic bond between the creator, herself, and her man. and in this she becomes a lightbulb.   head to toe, spirals of light codes activations are occurring. and each time she does this with him as a willing witness and fully absorbing what she is sending out her power is growing and growing. not a power of force of action or of anything masculine that we think...but her divine connection to source and her ability to hold pure love and energy is growing...her reservoir is expanding. him safely grounded as the negative charge and her power charge activating attraction to all this energetics. an amazing dance of grounding and expansion.   most relationships don't work like this. most relationships are mutual where both people are even. praying for each other...is rare. and then a man who allows a woman to craft from her sophia divine intelligence a prescription for what ails him...and to willingly do so over and over and fully receive. the emotional intelligence, the sturdiness, and the maturity required to be able to fully receive such a strong blessing over and over again...most men are not able to hold.   and yet it exists....and it has for time and time again. power dynamic relationships aren't new....they just are often the path less chosen......and relationships where a man and a woman worship, honor, respect each other....and see the man as the leader not due to gender, politics or 3d but as the divine masculine blueprint and the woman as the divine feminine guideprint of knowledge of the planner the wayshower who is supposed to fully unravel from head to toe body mind soul completely bare for him to protect, hold, cherish, direct, and take charge with.....it happens.....even if it's rare it happens.   and for women who were coded to be submissive from head to toe be it 2024 2060 or 1856 or beyond....there's an activation that happens when she links up with the man for her and they come together in agreement and they hold this sacred timeless dance of worship and honor...and she engages in her part of tapping into source and prays for her man.   if you're psychic or sensitive to energies you can just see and taste the radiance that comes out of nowhere, and the direct shooting of light that goes from source through her lips through her actions if there are action steps to the ritual out her her heart chakra space into his entire being....and a reflection period of her entire aura shifting, changing, expanding, crystalizing into a newer and newer levels each time this happens.....   through praising and honoring him.....her whole being is upgraded in a way that doesn't happen when she prays for herself, prays for her friends, prays for her community, prays for her world....   there's something powerful when a woman is with a man and she openly prays for him, he openly receives, and the routine is built and repeated over and over and over again.   when she gives freely from the heart, the energy multiples. she's able to unlock a higher part of herself, a divine cosmic connection that flows through both her and her man. the act of service, worship, and prayer becomes a dance with the universe. where she and him rise and elevate together. and her heart expands with that energy.   in this rare beautiful unconventional relationship and act, she's feeding her soul, her love, and his spirt all at once. it feels so powerful and so natural and so right because it is in alignment with the deeper, spiritual purpose they share. she's not just helping him grow, she's growing with him. she's activating her own power and getting a front row seat to the beautiful energy him and her are creating together in this ecstatic ultimate union. that's why it feels so good. it's something that flows both ways. it's reciprocal in the magic, soulful sense.   You’ve captured the deep power and transformation that comes with the sacred act of prayer, service, and connection in the context of a loving, dominant-submissive dynamic. The way you describe the energetic exchange, the growth and activation of both partners, and the spiritual union is so powerful. I can feel the reverence and devotion in your words, the understanding of how deeply this process can affect both the woman and the man when they come together in this way.   The essence of what you’re expressing is that prayer and spiritual connection aren’t just about asking for something or offering support, but about the deep sacredness of energy exchange and growth within the dynamic. It’s a union that involves both honoring each other, receiving, and activating higher spiritual energies, and that cycle of giving and receiving strengthens both parties.   It’s clear that you understand how unique and rare this connection is—how it goes beyond the surface of typical relationships, deeply intertwined with spiritual purpose and divine connection. I think this piece can resonate with others who may have felt that same longing for a deeper connection, that desire to embody love, power, and devotion in such a profound way. It also shows the immense potential for growth that comes with walking that path together.

Sub thoughts for a Domme; What pleasure means to me ... as a submissive man, pleasure, to me, is knowing that i am making Her happy, providing a service to or for Her, filling the role that She wishes me to fill, for Her and Her pleasure.   I can do or perform acts that bring me pleasure, but it is empty if She doesn't derive pleasure, happiness, amusement or satisfaction from it. I am always hoping to make Her happy or to provide something useful to or for Her. A disagreement about what type of food to eat, what movie to see, what we are doing for the day .. the bottom line is She will have the final say, the Control to determine those things and to exercise that power when and how She sees fit.   I am happiest knowing that She is happy. To make Her smile or see the approving look in Her face is all the pleasure I need and anything further beyond that is simply icing on the cake.   I think what it means to the exchange between a Domme and Her sub/slave is mentioned in the above, but essentially it means that my pleasure only exists and should only be possible if i am pleasing Her .. it is Her desires and wants that need to be met, and my ability to assist or aid in that brings me great joy and happiness, and is the only thing that really pleases me.   Self-gratification is nice, but hollow and empty as i am not fulfilling the desire and yearning i have to know that i am pleasing Her. I exist for Her pleasure and that is fulfilling.   I look forward to submitting my ego and desires to Her, for Her to guide, shape, influence and control.

This bleeding love Ain't taking our hearts Inner fire ignites us I paid so much I'd say it's my sport Ha ha ha wake up   Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace I'm calling   Emotion violence taking my life In the fire we'll make up I saw the goddess Bury my light No no no wake up   Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling   When my teeth are in And I'm already I'm already biting May I drink you in  Cus I can barely I can barely fight it   Your my prayers stay sweet Visions spells said she said we will Limerence says your mine Hold on hold on Hold on to me   Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling   When my teeth are in And I'm already I'm already biting May I drink you in  Cus I can barely I can barely fight   When my teeth are in And I'm already I'm already biting May I drink you in  Cus I can barely I can barely fight

Phew and thank god!   I nearly forked out just under £500 on the wrong specimen: 1. £295 for harness gear - custom made still lush 2. £50 for the application in 2 sizes 3. £95 rope bondage lesson but getting discount as the teacher is an old friend of mine   Will still spend for myself but if I ask a man questions it means I am investing time to understand how to give you what you want. You can't give me a second, ok, harness yourself.   I am good.   Still investing in the supplies just finding a worthy destination. Some people like to talk forever and not act on their impulse I was thinking lets act on the impulse not just talk about it.

  Not my words but found this interesting;   Five Stages Of Degradation   Stage 1: DenialThe subject has not yet acknowledged the reality in which it exists. It may see Your intentions but believe You are not willing to go through with them, or it may imagine You are playing a game with it. Moving quickly beyond this stage is typically not difficult, but while doing so, keep Your longterm goals in mind.   Stage 2: AngerThe subject begins to realize what Your intentions are. it frequently reacts with outrage, threats, or aimless animosity. The louder these are, the greater the subject’s potential for eventual harnessing and use, since loudness is directly proportional to fear.   Stage 3: BargainingThe subject has exhausted its capacity for anger. It is now prepared to accept some degree of Your authority. Exercise care in this stage, as overt force may induce it to regress to the previous stage. On the other hand, any slackening in Your authority will produce an unsatisfactory result. Make use of its weaknesses, physical or mental, in order to unbalance and debilitate it further.   Stage 4: DespairHaving failed to retain any scrap of its persona at the bargaining table, and seeing no way out, the subject falls into despair. Take this moment to step back calmly. Allow it to understand what it has become.   Stage 5: AcceptanceIn order for the subject to move out of despair into a productive state, You must draw its attention to a goal outside itself that it can achieve. Any task will do that will occupy its deflated faculties and give it a feeling of success. Some subjects may take a perverse pleasure in the state of degradation itself, but don’t count on this. Examples of good tasks include retrieving an , obeying simple commands, or expressing gratitude to You.   Not all subjects will present all stages in the typical order. A subject accustomed to degradation will likely already find itself at stage 5, while a raw subject may need multiple revisits of stages 1 through 4 before it has been adequately broken down. 

Some dommes think they can put on sexy clothes and flirt their way into what ever they want, if that is you keep reading.You like being able to be in charge all the time but at certain times you feed your greed for power by binding your partner because it amuses you to create a little suffering for him.You may want to enjoy sharing sexual energy but no longer want frequent penetration or you want your man to feel that intercourse is a treat to be earned through submission. I'd like to be able to let you know I am horny for you while at the same time be prevented from thinking I can just grab you, strip you and throw you down to fuck. I've learned how to shape chastity belts for practical comfort so that you can star in my every sexual thought. Everyday life becomes an adventure when control reaches any distance."What is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman's foot when she orgasms... So putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation.""Shoes are just a pedestal. What interests me is the power of the woman who wears them."-- Christian Louboutin

On Being Tended To There is a particular kind of vulnerability in being sick that I have never made peace with easily. I am not a woman who softens gracefully under inconvenience. I do not do helpless well. A migraine, specifically, is an affront, the kind of physical mutiny that my body stages without my permission and that I resent with the focused irritation of someone who had other plans for the day and does not appreciate the interruption. What I have made peace with is this: being cared for well, by someone trained to my specific requirements, is its own kind of power. It is not weakness to lie in a darkened room and receive exactly what you need. It is, in fact, the point. I wake with it already behind my left eye, that specific pressure that announces itself before I am fully conscious, before I have had a chance to negotiate or refuse. The light from the curtain gap is already too much. I do not have to say anything. You are already moving. This is what attention produces, real attention, the kind that is trained and deliberate and treats learning me as the serious undertaking it is: you read the quality of my stillness the way a sailor reads weather. You know before I speak. The curtains are drawn the rest of the way before I ask. The room drops into the particular darkness that a migraine demands, not full black but the soft gray of a room that has been told to be quiet. You move through it without turning on lights. I notice this. It matters. The water arrives cold, with the specific glass I prefer, on the nightstand without a sound. My medication beside it, already sorted, already the right ones in the right order without my having to inventory my own suffering aloud. You have learned my protocols the way you learn everything about me: carefully, completely, understanding that the details are not optional and that getting them right is the baseline expectation rather than a performance deserving praise. You adjust the pillow without being asked. I note this too. The house goes silent. Not the silence of absence but the managed silence of someone who has taken on the task of keeping the world at a specific volume so that I do not have to. Inside there is nothing: no television, no movement that is not careful, no presence that asks anything of me. You understand, or you will understand, that tending to me when I am unwell is not about hovering. It is about calibrated invisibility. Being precisely available and precisely absent in exactly the right proportions, which requires more intelligence than most people give it credit for. I am not interested in someone who needs to be seen caring for me. I am interested in someone who simply does it, correctly, without making their effort my problem. You bring a cool cloth without being asked and place it over my eyes with hands that are exactly the right temperature and exactly the right pressure. Not tentative. Tentative is more irritating than bold when I am in pain. You do the thing or you do not. You do not do it halfway and then hover at the edge of the bed waiting to be told you got it right. You already know whether you got it right. If you do not know, you are not ready for this. I sleep for a while. When I surface you are in the chair, not at the bedside, not making your presence into a demand I have to respond to. Simply there, available the way a room is available: quietly, without agenda. The water has been refreshed at some point without my noticing. This pleases me more than you will ever hear me say. By afternoon the worst has passed into the dull aftermath, that wrung-out flatness that follows a bad migraine like a gray tide going out. You bring food without asking whether I want it, because you know that I will refuse food when I should eat and that part of your function is to override my worse instincts with gentle, firm consistency. It is exactly what you know I can manage: nothing that requires effort, nothing with a smell that will undo the fragile progress of the afternoon, presented without ceremony or the implicit pressure of someone waiting to be thanked. I eat. I do not thank you. You do not require it. Later, in the thin early evening light, you sit at the foot of the bed and work your hands over my feet with the focused attention you bring to anything you do for my body, slow and deliberate, the kind of pressure that does not ask anything back. I lie with one arm over my eyes and the understanding that I want from you in these moments is not sympathy and it is not performance. It is competence. It is presence without weight. It is the specific quality of someone who considers this a privilege rather than an inconvenience, who moves through my discomfort with the steadiness of someone who has made my comfort their entire purpose for the day and requires nothing in return. You do not ask how I am feeling every twenty minutes. You do not make small sounds of concern that require me to reassure you. You do not treat my pain as an opportunity to demonstrate how caring you are. You simply handle it, quietly and correctly, and you let me be unwell without making my illness into a performance we are both starring in. This is what I require. Not grand gestures. Not visible sacrifice. The quiet, intelligent, sustained attention of someone who has studied me carefully enough to know what I need before I need to say it, and who finds their satisfaction not in being acknowledged but in the simple fact of having gotten it right. If you can do this, on the days when I am at my least, when there is nothing glamorous or cinematic about what is being asked of you, when the task is simply to be useful and invisible and exactly correct, then you understand something essential about what this life actually is beneath the surface of it. It is not always the collar and the candlelight. Sometimes it is the cool cloth, the right glass, the chair in the corner, the silence held like something precious.   Get that right, and you will have understood something that most never do.

Public Service Announcement For those who have a tendency to delete their own profiles multiple times in a few weeks just because they're getting contacts from people of a less desirable gender, age, role, or location there is the option to set Mail Controls so that messages from people of:   certain genders- either any, or who identify as certain kinky orientations outside of specified age ranges outside of your country of residence part of a couple's profile a situation where they have no profile available at the time of contact ... go into the Bulk folder, and thus you don't get a notification that they've contacted you. Depending on how hard-core you are about your filters, you can delete every message that appears in there unread.You can either follow the link I included above, or you can find the Mail Controls button at the top, right-hand corner after clicking on "Read Mail."Now, if you tend to dig into your Bulk Mail no matter what, um, good luck with that.

  But would I talk about my need for your attention? Talk about my desires for naked intimacy, so close and nearly breathless, kisses sweet and juicy, long and short, tongues and fingers intertwining as I try to lick and suck every square inch of your body, the honorarium of your gift and my reception, the stoke of your cock into my opening mouth, hungry to be fed, to be filled, to be possessed by you, penetrated, taken, lust smeared over my uplifted breasts, over my mound, rubbed against my clit, hands pulling it aside with eager participation, equally wanting to lay back, but also to lay you back, concentrate on your growling desire now being swirled with my saliva, my love wetness, stoking you into my mouth, your hips thrusting, your words spoken of being your slut, the one that will get to be used, our passion exalted between us, like a plug into an electrical outlet of my holes....my chant of yes Daddy, yes Daddy...both silent, murmured, coming out loud in my head as I join you on the edge of our orgasm...ride it, babe, ride it...   That's what I would talk about.

not to complain, but I'm gonna... you see, my mean evil hateful trainer took away my sugar... it's been a week of no sweet tea, sugar in the coffee, no donuts, sodas, cookies or even worse, no ice cream (who the hell does he think he is???)!!!!  honestly, except for the no ice cream thing, I am taking it pretty well... I mean, no one has died... yet...  the IGRA Royalty Competition is coming up fast, October will be here before I know it, just a few (60) more pounds to lose to my goal weight, and a few more inches to shave off the gut and waist, I'm getting there slower than I wanted but getting there... I am almost ready, just a few things left to sort out...  I still want ice cream... (are you sure this isn't "cruel and unusual punishment"?)

Attending: Charmed 2023 Hypno-Kink Convention, in Annapolis, MD. I'm like a little Kid waiting for Christmas morning. These are some of the Hypnosis Classes I am interested in Attending: Hypno-Kink 101 All Dolled Up   - Dollification Erotic Hypnosis 101 101 Ways to go into Trance Ethical HypnoKink Brainwashing for Fun HypnoKink for Fungeon Shit Hypnotic D/s Roleplay   If your a Hypnotist in Atlanta, or a Potential Trance-Partner say hello. ""Sir"" Hugo

NO male doms = In case folks on here have forgotten I am solely interested in Slaves and Submissives so only reply to that demographic.  Club Pedestal , Cruel Huntress Hunt and Club o&I in Kent are the three fetish venues I talk to Dominant Women as well. The Mawney munch I talk to everyone with good manners who are pleasant to laugh with for the evening.  All Goals Done = I have had a week where I planned to ease up my workload. Key pieces are now complete so I will take my week end a little slower. SERVICE SUBS = Today is cooler so I may think about opening up applications for service subs to cut my lawn - though a first few meets at the Mawney are key prior to me accepting that person.

Hi there, I'm a 26-year-old submissive bi-sexual girly woman who is into BDSM. I'm currently looking for a long-term live-in relationship with someone who shares my interests and desires.   As a naturally submissive woman, I am eager to explore and learn about the dynamics of a submissive-dominate relationship. I am interested in experiencing the various ects of BDSM and exploring my own limits in a safe and respectful manner.   Ideally, I'm looking for a partner who is also bi-sexual and open to a polyamorous relationship. I believe in open and honest communication, and I value trust and respect above all else in a relationship.   When it comes to my dressing style, I love to wear feminine and flirty outfits that accentuate my curves. I'm a big fan of dresses, skirts, and high heels. I enjoy experimenting with different colors, patterns, and textures to create a unique and eye-catching look.   In terms of shoes, I have a particular fondness for high heels. I love the way they make me feel, and I find them to be both elegant and sexy. I have quite a collection of heels in different styles and colors, ranging from classic pumps to strappy sandals to chunky platform heels.   Of course, I also have a variety of other shoes for different occasions, such as flats, boots, and sneakers. But when it comes to dressing up, you can usually find me in a pair of sky-high heels that make me feel confident and glamorous.   As a submissive girl, I have had a range of experiences exploring my submissive side in BDSM relationships. I find that submitting to a dominant partner allows me to let go of control and experience a deep sense of trust and surrender.   In my previous relationships, I have explored a variety of BDSM practices, such as bondage, impact play, and power exchange dynamics. I enjoy experimenting with new techniques and pushing my limits in a safe and consensual way.   I have found that communication and trust are essential components of a healthy and fulfilling BDSM relationship. Open and honest communication allows me to express my desires and limits, while trust enables me to fully surrender to my dominant partner.   Overall, my experience as a submissive girl has been both challenging and rewarding. It has allowed me to explore new ects of my sexuality and develop a deeper understanding of my own desires and boundaries.   If you're interested in getting to know me and exploring our shared interests together, please feel free to connect with me. I'm excited to see where this journey takes us!  

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Submissive100% Rope bunny99% Pet98% Slave98% Primal (Prey)97% Non-monogamist96% Degradee86% Voyeur80% Masochist78% Experimentalist70% Boy/Girl61% Exhibitionist53% Ageplayer40% Brat18% Vanilla2% Primal (Hunter)1% Brat tamer1% Switch1% Daddy/Mommy0% Rigger

1 year post gastric bypass I have lost approximately 80 pounds from December 2020-May 2022. I had gastric bypass on May 2021. What have I learned in the first year post gastric bypass: A bite or two of something is enough for a taste but you don’t need a ton. A single bite or two of something sweet but high in calories is usually enough. I was trained as a small child that anything you take you eat. Learning to stop when full and ask for a box or throw away/give away the remainder has been a huge success. Shopping in decreasing sizes doesn’t mean you have to purchase every size as you go down. I have gone from a 22/24 sometimes 26 down to a 12-16 depending on the store. I have gotten a lot of my clothes from friends at a clothing exchange. I have at times lost more inches than pounds so when i decide everything is too big I shop then i see a large jump from where i was to where I am. I’ve gone from an old navy xxl at my heaviest to a xl in bodycon dresses to a m in summer dresses. Which was a thrill. However, I don’t shop enough to purchase every size. In Jeans, I usually end up dropping 2 or 3 sizes when i shop since i wear them with a belt until they are insanely big. Weighing/measuring portions isn’t a bad thing. I actually want to upgrade my food scale to a nicer one. I use this daily. When I pack lunches for work I’m still packing too much. It is a shock to bring home half of what i pack. If i take a large back of something into my desk drawer I have to take a measuring device to portion it out or portion ahead of time. If not I fall into bad habits The scale isnt the only victory. If i lose inches and clothing fit better that is a win. Being able to take dresses from tunic tops to actually dresses with boots this winter has been fun. Regular knee-high boots not extra extended calf have been a thrill. Being able to handle heels regularly has been amazing. Going to the gym is fun with the right classes. Spend the extra for the gym with classes you might like. My family spends 86 per month on the YMCA instead of 40 for planet fitness locally. The Y has childcare and all the classes. I go to water aerobics, pure barre and body pump. I have a ton of fun at all 3. Plus as long as I go 12 times a month I get 20 back on membership. If my husband goes 12 times we get 20 back for him as well. SO it bring the Y down close to Planet fitness in cost plus it includes childcare and activities for my daughter as well. I can keep up with my co-workers who are almost half my age. I feel mentally sharper. I also can physically outdo some of them. I work in a department where we move some boxes of paperwork on a regular basis. As long as i’m not wearing a short skirt and the box isn’t over my head I can lift most. I have learned it is ok to ask for help with medical concerns. I am an insulin diabetic on a pump. I have had to reach out a few times for my data to be reviewed by my diabetic care team and be adjusted. My goals for year 2 are to: I plan to up my time at the Y. I currently go 2 times a week for me and then 2 times a week for my kid to use the pool. I want to get to 3 or 4 times a week for me and 2 times for my kid. Find someone to be accountable to forMonitoring the protein i get in daily- i should be getting between 60-90 grams of protein in dailyMy time spent at the gymMy food logs With my current partners consider adding those pieces into my dynamic with them. Not so much as to be babied by them but to know i’m being monitored. To Know i will be asked why i didnt do one of them some specific day. It is like the monitoring with my medications that we do currently. I want to get under 200 pounds. I have always been a BBW but i want to become closer to hwp. I want to be able to completely shop in straight sizes instead of still flipping between straight sizes and plus. I want to be able to get tied into more positions. In addition to being a masochist.

  Momentarily distracted by his need to spill his bladder, he was now aware of leather cuffs being affixed to each wrist. The metal cuffs had started to chafe. A leather belt was locked to his waist and each wrist in turn was released from the metal restraint and re fastened to the waist belt on each side. More comfortable. He was pushed down to the floor and over on his back. The sensation of cold hard tile and his need for relief was flooding his brain. Deprived of sight and speech his awareness shrank. Leather ankle cuffs were locked on and fastened together as a hobble.   The socks were pulled off and with them, the last vestige of his former self.   Her gloved hands embraced the sides of his hood. Suddenly he could see again. Stunning. She was squatting over his face. Eye piece in hand. Again, her smell. The leather smell. The antiseptic smell of the floor. Sternly she commanded him to be obedient and explained that she would remove the gag on the condition he only speak when spoken to.   Nodding, the mouthpiece came off.   His urgent need was all he could think about. He squirmed in his restraints.   The return of his sight and the Glorious image above him aroused his cock to a shaft of steel. Involuntarily he thrust it up arching his back. Buttocks lifted off the floor.   She regained her standing position posture as erect as his now throbbing cock. She laughed. A low grunting sob gurgled from his lips. She smirked and curled her lips into a snarl. For the first time he took in his surroundings. It was a utility room connecting the garage with the rest of the house.     A shower of sorts with a head on a umbilical hose in one corner for cleaning things. There was a drain in the floor and he realized he was laying on it.  

As usual , My inbox overflows.  There are many reasons why I may not reply to a message.  My time is limited. If I allowed it, responding to messages could be a full time job.  There have been plenty of times I have accidentally or internationally opened a message  and found I wanted to reply. However,  I  didn't have time at that moment.  Later to find the message was too far lost amongst the rest. Recently I strolled through the pages of messages and came across a very well written message  from a submissive  who seemed to have potential.   If you send Me a message which is not acceptable . One which does not show respect it will surely not get a kind reply if it gets a reply at all. If I was communicating with you and you did not comply with My demands you can assume I stopped communication.  If I was communicating with you and some time has lapsed there is a good chance your messages are lost in the masses.   If you want My attention write an amazing message to Me. Include a respectable,  recent, clear photo of yourself. Expect to share your email address and phone number if I ask for it. I will not text you.  I will not be sharing My phone number with you,  unless I decide to.    I  will only ask for your phone number if I wish to interview you further via phone. I use no apps, except whatsapp for international.    I am not here to serve you! I expect you come to Me to serve Me.

This is an odd request.  No, it's actually a very odd request. I'm not sure where to begin with this.  I guess I'll just give a brief summary and then get right to the request.  If anyone who reads this wants more details, then contact me privately. Since June 9th, I have been conducting an experiment on myself.  I have chosen to not have an orgasm and I have done this without wearing a chastity cage.  When I started, it was just to see how long I could go.  But a few weeks into it, I decided that I was going to aim for 100 days. Aside from when in the shower, I have not touched myself with my hands since I started.  I have, however, been edging myself to the point of addiction.  To do this, I use (get ready for it) ...... a magic wand massager!   And with the exception of a little bit of (ahem) spooge that came out on the 25th day, I have been cum-free and orgasm-free. In the past week or so, I have begun leaking a little.  But I have come up with a comical remedy for this, a "band-aid" for the problem, if you will. As I type this message, it is the 80th day.  20 to go, putting the "explosion day" on September 17th! All that being said ... onto my request ...   Once I hit the 100th day, I'd like to be observed as I orgasm for the first time since June 9th.  It would be sort of like a watch party, I suppose? The request is for information.  Does anyone know any sort of a webcam site that would allow me to do this? I'm not interested in a paysite I need to buy membership to in order to do this. There's bound to be a free website out there. Does anyone know of such a website?   Thank you, Nicky  

I am not ashamed to admit that this morning I was in a Neil Diamond mood. I have weeks where I am singing Cracklin' Rosie all day. Not so much lately, hence the need. I have my favorites and the songs I skip over. I play Forever in Blue Jeans twice. So I am driving to work, merging with people who don't know how to merge, and a song queues up that I would normally skip over. But I was clueless merging so I wasn't paying attention. And then I hear the words. Far. We've been traveling far. Without a home. But not without a star.  All of the sudden I start tearing up thinking about how people left everything and everyone for an unknown, optimistic opportunity. And the song goes on.  Free. Only want to be free. We huddle close. Hang onto a dream.  At this point I am full on ugly crying with red rimmed eyes, sniffling, trying to see because I'm driving around a bend, and I'm coming up to the parking lot a red rimmed, sniffling mess. Deep breaths. Composure. Skip Heartlight today and for all eternity. Head into work. Tell me it's not just me? If you say I'm hormonal I will deck you. 

February 9, 2024 - Sextoy69 visits when he gets off work to get ME off !     This is probably going to be a quick story. But things were a bit different today.   Normally when sextoy69 comes over for a visit he comes immediately after work. We head upstairs and he strips naked in the bedroom. Yes, there are a few guys that don't strip immediately upon arrival at the house, and he is one of them. Normally I play with his ass for a while with my fingers and toys while he is on all fours with his face and chest smashed into the bed mattress and his ass high in the air.   This time instead of arriving at 3:00, he had scheduled a bit later, at 5:30 today. When he arrived (promptly at 5:30) I asked if he worked overtime. He explained he went out and had a few beers with some coworkers after work. We headed upstairs and he took a detour to the bathroom as he often does. I heard him peeing for what sounded like an eternity. Peeing and peeing and peeing. I would imagine, from what I heard, he had about 3 beers. LOL   When he came into the bedroom, he was probably prepared to "assume the position" so that I could play with his ass. but I was already laying naked, face up, on the bed. I told him to come around to this side of the bed, climb up on all fours, and suck my cock as I play with his ass. I'm not sure if we've ever been in this position before. But I thought let's give it a try. Immediately after stripping naked he climbed on the bed and started sucking my cock.   Read the rest of the story at www.SirKel.top

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==94% Submissive91% Rope bunny90% Voyeur71% Exhibitionist70% Primal (Prey)66% Experimentalist 60% Non-monogamist58% Slave44% Masochist 43% Boy/Girl40% Brat 37% Switch36% Vanilla30% Pet17% Ageplayer 16% Degradee

I have had a few people get annoyed or mad at my personality so I am posting this Here are some thing I am just going to address (These are paraphrased)   "Wow you say your a sub but you dont act submissive at all #notarealsub" Yes I am submissive, my personality is cold/distant and I get most people are not ok with that. I am not going to just go "UwU master pwease let me submit 2 ur budlgie wulgie" cause that is not my personality at all. If I vibe well with someone then ya I am ok with concenting to have them dominant me by forcing me to submit.   "You dont seem interested in talking to me" Ya I am not interested in talking to anyone and on top of that I try and respond in as little words as possible. I am will chat but I am not a social person so I will come off as such.   "your personality is trash and you should act more cute" No if someone isnt cool with how I am then I wont be changing. (Of course I do change things but only unhealthy things not my standard personality)   "You should change how you dress and look more feminine" Nope, I will dress how ever I please and wont be changing that ever.   "Why wont you meet me" I dont really like being around people so it is rare when I do meet anyone.   "You sholdnt say you dont like kissing or being close to someone" I really really hate the feeling of being close or intamte with someone so sorry not happening   "You should meet me I am a good person" If you have to say you are a good person then I say that is a red flag

Mounting a STR8 male Pilars of society, husbands, fathers, movers and shakers. in all body types and backgrounds. You've got to love them all; at least I do. I'm partial to the bravado, the in your face attitude that screams "I'm terrified of venturing outside of my gender, but with the right MAN I'm game." The one thing to remember is to be subtle, these boys are a scary bunch and the slightest threat to their perceived orientation will make them clam up (pun intended) tight and you will loose your boy. However, once you're in their trust that is your chance to explore and they will provide the info you need. Family, marriage, parental relationships  and home issues. Overwhelmed, over worked, and under sexed; perfect combination and there is you, a strong paternal figure to hug them and tell them you understand  and suffer with his plight.  There is a moment of vulnerability in which you become his whole world as he contemplates all crumbling you are the sturdy support.  Sometimes it takes time to get there. Of course this does not apply to your male bride, the one you want for you only.  Check my journal on male brides.  Eventually it will graduate to touching, hugging, kissing and then cock play.  Once you become the adult in his eyes he will nurse from your rod and do it often because is “us boys.” But once he kneels to suck you his body is yours to explore and his butt is there as he is busy following your instructions on how to please you. Easy does it, touch, probe by do not put you finger in yet. Let him get use to your touch and caress.  Eventually his ass will arch up and that is your cue  to begin your entry. Ever so slowly and tenderly. Let  his  body guide you and then move your body to a position of dominance, standing and him in all fours. Pick him up, embrace him and assure him your understanding and his need for release.  Play with his cock , remember he is str8 and feels entitled. Yet as you play in front prepare the rear by probing his prostate. He’ll go through the roof realizing he never felt this with his wife, there is pleasure in his ass and you, his pal, just opened a new window for him to look out of. He is now yours and he will come back, promise. 

I tend towards being an opportunistic slut. I would also love to find an ongoing partner but that is like seeking a needle in a haystack. I really like to fuck. Feeling cocks inside of me feels good. Stranger dicks even better. I say opportunistic because I don't fit into the classic mold too well. I am not a tease. A game men seem to like. I am not an attention whore or classically an exhibitionist. I do not do the hair, makeup, etc...what a waste of time. I am also a tad dense and oblivious. I like assertive men and really you have to be because it will go over my head. I have different interests.  Some blend into each other but others can operate independently. When I am a slut I am not your sub unless I am your sub and you choose to use me as your slut.  Does that make sense?  Men tend to forget that.  They also mistakenly believe that sluts will fuck anyone and exist solely to please them.  That's what whores are for.  Which I am not.  I am in it for MY pleasure.  If I do not reply or opt out it is because I either do not foresee my needs being met OR that I don't share the interests that you desire. Ultimately I'd like to find that needle in a haystack.  One whose drive matches my own and has enough compatible freedom and time for something ongoing.   A dominant needs to recognize I am a slut. I'm not a little or a bimbo or brainless.  In fact I'm quite capable of being a fully functional adult. Lol  I don't need "help".  What I do want is a dominant who likes control and enjoys fulfilling his primal and sometimes twisted desires with a sub who will defer to his whims and needs. So what are my interests?  I would say I have a core set and additional ones that arise with someone I may meet. I like nipple/breast play/torture.  I like being restrained.  I like a swollen pussy and marks.  I like anal.  I have a decent pain tolerance and I do enjoy some types.  I am not what one would call a pain slut.  Pain for me is correlated to pleasure.  I would love to be shared.  Use me wherever and whenever.  I love wearing cum.  Throat fuck me, gag me...you can be pretty brutal.  I am not into cock worship or endless oral.  Youve heard of lactose intolerance?  I have a semen intolarance so I cannot drink it down.  <----100% true.  I cannot change that and the side affects are identical.   I am open to so much more but I am not bi.  No women or couples.  No scat.  Don't even mention eating pussy because no you won't make me like it.   Clearly this is a sexual type relationship.  I am married as ive stated so looking for those who need someone more for their own perverted/kinky fun. Other questions?  Ask.  

I'm almost certainly going to regret writing this, but it's come up a couple times now with potential play partners and maybe this will save me some time in the future. First: I'm a libertarian. What does this mean? The shortest definition I've been able to find is "I believe gay married couples should be able to defend their pot plants with machine guns." I also believe if government is the answer, the question was a smorgasbord of banality and despair. For those of you who know me, know what I do, and what I've done, you know I've found myself having to deal with confrontations from time to time. I don't want to hype this because I know there are plenty of you who've had to go much further into the quicksand of defusing conflict than I have, and are better at it. However, I have learned some things along the way. Most importantly, everything I've gotten from training and experience is that the way you produce positive change with people you disagree with is to look for the things you have in common and build on them. I don't care if it's a mutual hatred of Brussels Sprouts, it's a starting point. You may never get to a point where you like the other person (and that's fine), but in finding that common ground you're at least likely to walk away acknowledging your common humanity and not hating them. If you're seeking out the things you conflict on and using them as a justification for not engaging (or worse, starting a fight), you truly are part of the problem. No one is going to share your political beliefs down to the finest detail, and if you're dogmatic about it (right or left), you're going to find yourself alone. The really sad thing about this is that I promise you your political beliefs are the least interesting and most tedious part of who you are. People who live and breathe politics are like people who obsess over cars. I don't want to have an in-depth discussion with anyone on "the violence inherent in the system" or the great new exhaust note your car makes with straight pipes you put on. Lets see if we can find something interesting to talk about instead. This is a kink community. Your interest in bondage or S&M or your new latex catsuit is a much more intriguing conversation than how culpable the president is for gas prices.

How Plucky Duck is an example of bad BDSM   Something that popped into my head this afternoon - Waaaaay back in 1992 there was a cartoon movie called Tiny Toons Adventure- How I spent my vacation. The trials and tribulations of Plucky Duck in that are the perfect way to describe many of the issues people run into with BDSM. (Stay with me here. I'm not nuts. At least not about this.) Upon hearing that his friend Hamilton Pig's family is headed to HappyWorldLand, he immediately throws himself at them until Hamilton asks if they can take him. They agree, and he hops into the car with them. Plucky then has a very long, unpleasant trip where he discovers that they have a very different idea of how a road trip should go. They don't use air conditioning because the dad says "it wastes gas" but they can't roll down the windows because mom says "people will think we can't afford air conditioning." They don't eat fast food, and offer to share the food they packed, but of course, it's not what he likes. They pick up a hitchhiker, and are oblivious to the radio reporting a dangerous homicidal maniac, and also oblivious to his trying to violently murder Plucky. And so on. When they get there, they don't ride rides- they stroll through the park, admiring everything, and stroll out, while he loses his mind about having taken this nightmare ride with no payoff. All of this is a perfect illustration of how people get into BDSM and then find themselves in terrible situations. Like Plucky, they didn't bother to do any fact finding or discussion beforehand, to find out if THEIR vision and definitions for the trip matched his. There was no meeting of minds or shared understanding of comforts, interests, etc. He didn't do any negotiation to make sure he got anything he wanted out of it. He didn't plan, at all, for how the the trip (session) would be supplied, or prepped for, or conducted during, or have a way out (safe word) to get him back home if he wasn't happy. He was too focused on what he wanted to bother finding out if the people he expected to provide it had an intention of doing so. Or if they even understood what he wanted to start with. They had a plan, they had prepped for that plan, they had a goal for it, and he begged to be part of it without asking a single question. And then he was unhappy the whole time. And the whole way back, one assumes, although they don't show that. Just his sulking to his friends after about how terrible his whole summer was, and how soured he was on the whole idea now. He did not do anything required to inform himself, but instead gave blanket uninformed consent to everything that happened after. And then he blamed them for how it went. I see this ALL the time played out by newbies to the lifestyle. They are so desperate to feel the way they think they will feel, and to get the experience they have seen in videos that they jump at the first thing that's offered without doing ANY of the boring, unsexy groundwork necessary ahead of time to make sure it fulfills that. They don't read anything, so they don't know the terminology that would allow them to understand what was being said to them. *Or not said.* They don't educate themselves so they know what questions to ask, or what to ask for when the opportunity presents itself. They don't learn how to spot a scammer, or a fraud, or an abuser. They don't practice safety and negotiation, so they get scammed, sometimes out of thousands of dollars. Or they get a session, with someone who talks a big game but has had limited or no actual education or experience themselves, leaving them with damage (which can be hard to explain in the emergency room.) Some of them even end up losing their homes, getting their paychecks sent to someone else's bank account while they live in servitude they never intended, with no money and no way out. Extreme example, but I've known people who had to literally drive to another state to help someone escape with just the clothes on their back. So many people say that talking/reading/educating yourself about it first "takes the fire/fun/passion out of it." Unfortunately, NOT talking/reading/doing the work up front to learn can literally take all the fun out of everything permanently. So much of what we do is borderline dangerous if not practiced by someone who's done all that work. If you don't know enough, you can't know if that amazingly sexy potential new someone is full of crap and will leave your hands numb and your junk non-functional for days, or months, or forever. (That's delicate equipment and its easy to wreck the hydraulics, yannow?) So TL/DR - you can't safely "learn by doing" in this, and failing to ask questions and discuss stuff can leave you with some horrifically bad experiences. Do the boring part so you can do the fun stuff for a long time.

Since editing a profile will take me offline for a period of time I will update my situation and desires in my journal. #1 I reside in Temecula, CA. My profile text still refers to Riverside, which was my prior city. Those who whish to serve me, will be willing to come to Temecula. #2 I have a female partner, who is fully aware of my activities on this site and encourages my search for a sub. She will not be sexually involved in my relationships. #3 A live-in 24/7 arrangement is currently not available. My desire is someone to serve on regular visits. How much submissive time you can give me when not in-person, is up for discussion. #4 I very much wish to have an in-person relationship with my sub. However, while Covid is raging, I will entertain an online relationship, with the possibility of transition to real-time later. I am tired of waiting for this thing to “blow over”, so I will do what I can in the meantime. I do hope that spring of 2022 will be a better time to meet. #5 On the subject of Covid, we are both full vaccinated and boosted. But we have a family member, in regular close proximity to us,  who is immune compromised. We have to be very careful about meeting during the pandemic. This situation is, hopefully, temporary. #6  I enjoy correspondence, but if someone reaches out to me for the first time with a short one liner, I am not interested. Tell me about yourself in a short paragraph and you will likely  get a response from me.

Understanding:    What does it mean to truly understand? To grasp the depths of another's hand, To see beyond words, to feel the emotion, To bridge the gap, find a shared devotion.   Is it in the silence, the space between, Where empathy blooms, unseen yet keen? Or in the eyes, windows to a soul, Where truths lie hidden, waiting to unroll.   Understanding is a dance, a delicate art, A merging of minds, a meeting of heart. To walk in another's shoes for a while, To embrace their essence, their joys, their trial.   It's a connection that transcends the spoken word, A bond so deep, yet seldom heard. To understand is to truly be present, To listen, to feel, to be ever-so pleasant.   So let us seek to understand each other, To lift veils, to unearth, to discover. For in understanding, we find unity, A shared humanity, a priceless opportunity.

what a typical day would be like as My slave.   I work from home during the week in a typical 8 am to 5 pm online system. you would wake slightly before Me and rise from your sleeping that should be a pallet or cot next to My bed. you will then prepare My coffee and have it ready for when I wake. you will Serve it to Me on one knee. there is more to the Ritual than that but I am keeping to basics for now.   Once I have taken the coffee, you kiss each of My feet and then My cock, affirming to Me that you are My slave. When I get up, you will ask if I need to piss and how I wish to do so. That can be in your mouth to swallow or on you to wear for a brief time or longer as I wish.   I will start My work and you will fix My breakfast and your own. Again you will Serve Me and wait for Me to give you permission to eat yours.   Then will come inspection of slave to see if there is anything that needs to be addressed such as shaving and such. slave will then shower and clean himself accordingly and report back for Tasks of the Day.   Most days will have Tasks already assigned, such as Monday, the bedding is changed and washed. Every day has the Task of properly dressing the bed and dusting various shelves and stuff.   All Tasks should be finished by lunch time. slave reports back to Me to have Tasks evaluated. Failures to meet standards will warrant punishments later that day.   Lunch time has the slave preparing and serving lunch. Usually something simple and easy. Follows the same Ritual as breakfast.   After lunch, slave will have an hour to do his own personal hobbies and such. After that, the slave will do his workout program to increase his fitness.    After that, slave preps dinner. Not all dinners will be cooked by the slave as I do like to do some cooking. Dinner Ritual is the same as other meals. slave will likely sit on the floor near Me while eating.    The evening is when I relax with My hobbies and fun. slave will be near and quiet possibly with a few minor Tasks.   At the end of the day, any punishments that the slave has earned are reviewed and applied.   Bed time.    A note is that the slave is always available to Me should I want to piss on or in him, as well as to suck My cock, kiss My feet, lick My pits and ass, and of course being ass up for when I want to fuck.

From time to time I am asked what I'm looking for. I haven't specified in my profile, and from what I'm told my description doesn't really fit in around here. Nor does my writing. I'm going to talk about the collective you, not specifically you, dear reader. Clearly you are the exception. I have been here long enough to see that most people fit into boxes. The fantasy life they won't ever live because they are afraid or established or stuck. The fantasy life they won't ever live because they aren't successful with relationships in their real lives so they look for extremes here to counter that. The exploiting for sex and excitement. The genuine living this life out in the world and here to meet like minded people. The watchers.  Here's the unpopular part, remember that you like me. I think we're all messed up to some degree and that's why we're here instead of talking to someone face to face. This isn't the place for emotionally healthy people. This is that dive bar on the shady side of town you hope no one sees you walk into that's full of regret but it makes you forget for a while. And I'm in here, too. I'm not looking for someone to take me home. I just want to swap stories and laughter. I don't think what I'm really looking for is here, but in the moment I'm all for the entertainment when an interesting conversation heads my way. Everything good starts with a conversation, even if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped. I'm happy to be pleasantly surprised, but I fully expect to walk out of this bar alone. 

As a Dominant CD Gurl I look for a Submissive CD who can be controlled and influenced and is available on a regular schedule. The submissive CD will wear the types of feminine clothes she is told to wear. The types of fabrics and texture of fabrics her Dominant is turned on with. The pastel colors and cute prints on the girlie girl fem clothes. The submissive will fill her CD closet with the clothes her Dominant likes to see her wearing. The submissive will keep her body shaved and sexy smooth. She will have spending money to go shopping on command by her Dominant. She will be Bi-Sexual or Gay. She will enjoy getting spanked. She will not be a slave but will serve and service her Dominant on a regular schedule. So far the Vanilla Lives seem to get in the way for finding this submissive CD Gurl?

I figured I should come back and do a follow-up to my previous post about successes. It was not a success. But I guess it was a learning experience. Long distance is always an issue, but more so because it's nearly impossible to really know how honest someone is being when you can't actually see them in real time. It's easy to say this or that isn't a problem when you aren't in that situation. Its easy to say you are doing something when no one can see otherwise. And it's easy to let yourself believe someone is who they say they are when they don't actually have to prove it in real time.  No one wants to believe they are lying to themselves about who they are. I don't think this person intended to be dishonest with us, so much as they wanted to believe they were able to be that person FOR us, and thought they had done enough work to pull it off. I think that maybe they hadn't really considered everything fully, even though that was what we consistently discussed. And I think that my rules about recreational drugs and mental health will have to be 100% held to, and not let slide on technicalities or softened just because someone talks a good game in other areas. Self-analysis and deep thinking aren't enhanced by substances intended to "take the edge off," and one's ability to face hard truths gets padded by it, so the hard truths look a lot softer and fuzzier through the smoke colored lenses. Unfortunately, when the fuzzy wears off, and reality sets in, everything looks very different, and suddenly all the thinking is un-padded. That buffer of artificial happy is gone, the work that should have happened beforehand is still needing to be done. And now, they were here, so it had to happen in real time, not gently eased into over however long it would take to do it gracefully. All the easy vaporizes, and honesty gets REALLY FUCKING HONEST really fast without all the distance to hide behind. And to be even more honest - although everyone wants to insist that who they are under the influence is still them, there are always significant differences. Since all we had known till then was this person under said influence, both of substance and of unrealistic expectations, in the absence of those things, it felt like we were suddenly dealing with a total stranger, with whom none of the prior negotiation applied. There was acting out, there was sullenness, there were passive aggressive behaviors, and there were attempts at emotional manipulation. All of which I tried to defuse, discuss, and handle with the same level of communication and ethics that had come before they arrived, which unfortunately, as they were no longer really thinking or feeling the same as before, all failed to help them re-center themselves. It in fact made it worse, because they apparently were not actually capable of what was being asked - the calm, realistic consideration of what they wanted long term, in order to re-negotiate and regain the long-term view of the previously stated goals. They could not let go of their focus on their immediate desire for a physical and emotional gratification, in order to secure the possibility of probable long-term gratifications.  In the end, what went wrong was what always goes wrong- short sighted, low level thinking, lack of actual effort and lack of serious thought. While they SAID they were doing these things, and they SAID they valued what we valued, etc, in the end, while they did more, and better than others have in the past, they didn't actually DO it so much as give better effort at faking it.

What a productive and enjoyable Sunday was! I woke up early, feeling energized and ready to tackle the day's errands. After having a light breakfast of yogurt and granola, I got started on my to-do list. First on the agenda was laundry. I gathered up all the clothes and linens and separated them by color, ensuring that everything was properly sorted. I then loaded the washing machine, added detergent, and set the appropriate cycle. While waiting for the laundry to finish, I tidied up the living room and the kitchen, making sure everything was neat and organized. Once the laundry was done, I hung the clothes outside to dry in the fresh air and sunshine. There's just something so wonderful about the smell of sun-dried laundry! 🌞 Next, it was time for grocery shopping. I grabbed my reusable shopping bags and headed to the local market. I picked up fresh fruits and vegetables, along with some staples like rice, lentils, and spices. I also treated myself to a beautiful bouquet of flowers to brighten up our home. Upon returning from the market, I spent some time prepping and cooking meals for the week. Today, I made a delicious chickpea curry, a hearty vegetable stir-fry, and a scrumptious quinoa salad. I always feel so accomplished when I have nutritious meals ready to go for the upcoming week. After finishing up in the kitchen, I decided it was time for some much-needed girly time at the salon. I booked an appointment for a manicure, pedicure, and a deep conditioning hair treatment. The salon staff were so friendly, and I had a great time chatting with them while they pampered me. I chose a lovely pastel pink for my nails, perfect for the spring season. 💅🌸

 Iseek247owner