I had perhaps the best experience in my life last week. I went to see a very close friend a few states away. I've known her for 20 years and there's always been an unrequited attraction between us but I've told her very little about my submissive need. Well, she sensed it because the first night we were together, she immediately bound me tightly to all four posts of her bed and she had her way with me...but...   Everything was about her...her needs, her wants...her desires. There was not a single thing done or mentioned about mine. She used me as she wanted, rode me and stopped when she was done, not when I was done. I got on my knees and licked everything she told me to lick, put my tongue where she directed. She did everything to me that was my absolute desire, orally please her, CBT, whipping, spanking...insertion. The only thing she denied me was my own eruption. Finally, on our last night, she gripped me painfully and whispered her permission. It was....amazing. Nothing about me except until the end...everything for her. I was in heaven the entire week. The only thing is that it's not a permanent thing...because of the distance. I want it, she does not. And it was something she did with no preparation or warning....spur of the moment...because it was something she sensed in me.

My Daddy is gone After 2 years my Daddy has finally left 😔. I'm utterly devestated because he has been my everything and I feel so lost and empty without him. I know I can't be mad at him because I'm such a difficult person to be with and be around. I couldn't trust him with all my being no matter how hard I tried. I failed us both because I just couldn't get better and improve my life and just be happy. I really hope that he finds someone better because he deserves it. He had so much patience and did his best to understand me but I just couldn't deal with all my trauma and pain and it kept getting worse and worse. I know he had to leave to save himself and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop the men that I end up loving from leaving so maybe I just need to accept that I should be alone, so noone else gets hurt. It's the same reason that I haven't had children, I don't trust myself to not hurt them emotionally.

My Perception:   Dominant: Ultimately holds all power & influence over others. Stern, Governing, Controlling, Commanding, Supreme, Authoritative, Influential, Powerful, Superior, Calculating, Demanding. It is about Them and not those inferior/below them.   Submissive: Is a person who makes a conscious choice to give up some or all control of to another person. May. Have pre arranged limits that have been discussed prior but may be tested or even stretched at times.   Slave: A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon them to obey. Limits are those of the Owner/Dominant.   Switch: Someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a Top and other times a Bottom & generally a kinkster and neither a natural Dominant or Submissive but more into the kinky fun factor.   Pro-Dom/me, Dominatrix, Fin Dom/me: profit making professional service through terms such as rates, fee's, charges, tributes & gifts. (Never to be confused with real Dominants IMHO)

So a lot has changed really, a profile update will be written soon. The biggest change really, in myself, is the stretching (quite literally i guess, pun not intended) Previously the only hole penetrated by a Dominant was my mouth (mostly with fingers but the odd strap on/vibe/dildo/phallus), but i am currently being trained anally and urethrally (is that even a word). i have never enjoyed the experience of even the smallest digit oenetrating me anally and would scream the place down through a gag if anything bigger than a pinkie finger up there. As i write this i have had a 4" butt plug in now for around 18 of the past 24 hours. Do i enjoy it? Not really. I have got to the stage where i can, for decent lengths of time, forget about it as it feels normal but only really when not moving about. i can also insert it myself when ordered to do so, not a feat i would previously have thought possible.   The story of how this, once hard limit, along with urethral sounds, were accidentally, on the same day no less, is one for another day but i thought, after many years on CM and now CS, i would make use of my journal to record my anal training journey so others may learn what they might expect. 

There is a proposal of a loving union of truth and clarity. Where you are seen completely, whether you want to be or not, you are seen. This union comes from God the Father when he sent Jesus Christ to gather his sheep. To save you from a very bad place. To save you from the devil's traps and lies. When I tell you Jesus loves you, he really really does. He aches for you to turn to him. Him and his father wish for none to perish but for all to be saved. Jesus is very patient and merciful. He doesn't expect you to get it right the first time or the fifth time or even the 20th time. If you are truly remorseful for a sin you can't seem to get rid of and keep asking for forgiveness and keep asking him to take it from you he will be quick to forgive. The Bible says if your brother sins against you seven times and seven times ask you for forgiveness you are to forgive them. He sees your heart whether you are honest or even if you want to change but truly struggle with it. Even if you don't want to change or don't believe in him or you like the world's way.... He will meet you where you are and show you things needed for your journey, your growth, your own faith. In life there are beginnings and endings. Let Jesus transform you from the inside out. Read his commandments. He is a teacher and closer than a brother. He can take all the ugly and make a diamond. He knows what traumas you've been through and he's not here to let life keep hurting you. He doesn't control people, they have free will and he doesn't interfere with it, and people will have to make amends for their mistakes, me included. However he is not the one that hurt you and he doesn't want to hurt you. He wants to change your life. He wants you to live righteously and he wants to give you life abundant. He said if you delight in him he will give you the desires of your heart. When you work with Jesus, earth time is not the time he's on. He's on the clock of eternity and that means our healing will take time, our transformation will take time, our wants won't necessarily come on our time, but He will never leave or forsake you. When you come to Him honestly and come repentantly he will not cast you away. He will start a work in you and will bring it to completion. There will be A Thousand Year Reign where Jesus reigns as King, I truly hope you are there to receive the proper teaching you need to transform into who you were made to be before this dark world got its hands on you. I pray from the bottom of my heart whoever is reading this that you be saved and transformed. Will you still drink from the cups of demons or will you come and taste what the Lord really offers? 

Many folks have a difficult time trying to figure out if they are submissive and so I thought some definitions maybe helpful.  Submissive definition  A submissive:   “one who gives over their rights, their desires, and themselves to another. As a gift” (Urban Dictionary);   “willing to obey someone else” (Merriam Webster).    

I must be doing something wrong because ever since covid come along nobody wants to talk to anybody real time I mean I just bought a house in Mississippi moved from New Orleans a beautiful house by the way I'm very proud of and I was going to use it for a dream home of because I'm trans and I have other attributes I mean I'm a disabled veteran I wear diapers and fortunately for me my my Uncle Sam decides to keep me stocked and anyway I don't know what's wrong with people nobody has conversations anymore it's just these one line sentences no pictures it's just really is everybody running that scared I don't know maybe I'll see if this makes any hits I mean it's not very interesting but I'm just like since journals are back I'm just trying to see how it works out with me see if it actually shows up so anyway hope everybody is having a great holiday you know Halloween anyway look forward to hearing from anybody that wants to have a real time conversation I mean I don't even know what I mean anymore I haven't talked to another human being since covid except that the VA clinic and stuff but anyway with all that said ciao for now

  New Year After a brief discussion this morning we have agreed on a few things to try and get the most out of 2023. wearing my daily collar more often (as permitted by job, etc) more butt plugs less underwear more outfits with access when home more use of the belt more opportunities for us to explore with others Happy New Year!

I do best at being a Domme with minimal toys at hand.  I don’t need a fully stocked dungeon to have a great time with a sub. (not that there is anything wrong with a fully stocked dungeon) but to me it is more the mental control I exercise over you. The way I approach you, look at and maybe don’t let you have eye contact with me, and the way I touch or don’t touch you, you know just being in my presence brings out your need to submit.  For example, I will say, “Did I say you could look me in the eye bitch? Until I say you can look me in the eye, you will look at my feet. Look down now.” This takes no toys and commands you.

Had my first true taste of BDSM a few days ago.    I am not a person who likes pain, dare I say I avoid it at all costs, but it was My online Mistress “Ms T”, it was her will for it to happen.    The wonderful Ms T had her longest serving sub act out her wishes, as she watched on and directed via Skype text chat   I was flogged with a cat-o’-nine-tails from fully clothed , progressing to completely naked, the deep pressure resonating in my chest felt amazing, as I got more naked and the lashes kept coming I felt searing pain and a wish to stop, my mind refusing to utter the words…    I was here to serve my mistress and I was not going to stop until she gave the order..   As the lashes continued I looked forward to the pause between them, that brief moment when the pain subsided , it was the pains complete opposite, it was not just a pause but peaceful bliss and exquisite relief.   After flogging I was restrained to a bed, my eyes blindfolded and lying on my back completely naked, a sharp Dragon claw with tips like needles prodded and scraped down my skin, manageable I thought , until it reached my genitals, it tugged and pulled at my sensitive flesh, I writhed and tensed in shock as my veins filled with electricity from its action.    My buttocks tender from the flogging prodded and dug at by the claw , my body began to spasm and convulse, I forgot I could say stop at any time , I just knew this was making my Mistress Ms T happy and that was all I wanted.     I wanted to be worthy of being her sub her slave. I wanted to prove to my self I was capable of such.   Ms T’s proxy sucked on my cock as the claws dug and pulled at my flesh, I in no way felt erotic pleasure but here I was with a massive erection the like I’d not had for years.     Ms T enjoys forced Bi encounters and so blindfolded and beaten to my most submissive state, hands bound behind my back I was told to get to my knees and suck..  Her proxy let out the occasional audible mumble of pleasure as Ms T’s gratitude and love for me was re told to me as I still was blindfolded and couldn’t read the chat text .   Left after , kneeling blindfolded, in a state of complete nothingness, I had not thoughts, my mind empty, my body fatigued and occasionally twitching , I felt a peace and tranquillity like nothing I’d ever experienced before in the deepest of meditations or the most soothing of massages.   I think I am beginning to understand…!!!!   I had done it, I had made my Mistress Ms T happy. In a way I didn’t think I could.     Ms T , I may never meet you but I love you for this and for everything you’ve helped me experience..   For all the subs not knowing if Online Mistresses really work in reality,, I tell you now.. Ms T is the only one you need and will be the only one you want. !!! Thank you Ms T   Find her on FetLife MsT2011 or CollarSpace  mst2019

I want a dominate woman to take me under her wing. To feminize and transform me into a full woman. I mean learn how to sit, walk, talk, think,...... everything. But to also transform me physically as well. Hormones, body contouring, breast implants, FFS and finally SRS.To transform me into a woman so much that no one would know that I was EVER a male.

Lately I wake up in the middle of the night and the puppy is snuggled right up to my side. Tonight she had pushed her face into the crook of my neck. I love how much she loves me.  Someone recently asked me for clarification on something in my profile, that if he was to assume the responsibility, what was it that I was responsible for and how would it affect his ability to assume responsibilty? In all this time no one has asked me that. It's a brilliant question. I needed to think about it because my initial reaction was to create a laundry list of what I think I contribute, things like loyalty, honesty, snuggles, nurturing, etc. And then I paused. Those are all things that I do contribute for sure, but it doesn't account for what the other person needs from me, especially to function as person in charge. I will absolutely be and do all of the things I say are my part. And figure out how to be and do what he needs added to my part. Give and take. Relationships take work. Snuggles are the easy part. 

Just so you know I am addicted to cotton school girl plaid skirts with opaque white pantyhose  or thigh high nylons. Also addicted to gingham checks for skirts and dresses and blouses. These fabrics and patterns really get me excited and turned on sexually and always catches my eye when anyone is wearing these. Also addicted to white in most all feminine clothing, but especially white, tight denim fem jeans and shorts. Also get excited with cotton dresses and skirts and camisole tops in stripes. Love those stripes! Now do not laugh at this but the cotton check table cloths, like in Italian Restaurants and Pizza Parlors also turns me on. I like the smell of that type of cotton fabric along with the check pattern. Horny Crossdresser !!!

And just like that, the talks have ended and I've sent that prospective slave on her way. There were two very big (imo) factors as to why she would not have worked out. The first being a big communication problem. When I speak, I speak directly and clearly as to what I want, think, feel or am asking. If I'm asking a question, I expect an answer to the question asked. Not what you think you feel the question is or pretains to. That tells me you aren't listening to my words, just your feelings. And that will lead a slave to failure every time. The next problem is ideals vs reality. I see this as rampant throughout these bdsm sites. A slave will search for their ideals and not except that the reality is rarely, if ever, matches what their idea of being a slave is. The fact is, thought the slave wants to be kept in a cage and only brought out to be played with, bills need to be paid, the house needs to be cleaned, meals need to be cooked. These are, to me and other Masters, part and parcel to being a slave. The fantasy slavery is good for maybe a weekend or so. But not something feasible for the long run. So for now, it seems I am still looking for a slave. As I continue on this journey, I think I'll continue to use this form of media as a sounding board. 

Read a profile tonight.  The dumbnant said that he is looking for someone he can tell "what a piece of shit she is even in front of others even her family".What ever happened to "don't scare the nillas"?Vanilla people didn't consent to be a part of your dynamic. Even other kinksters didn't consent.Who are you to do what we do in front of non-consenting people, especially if it can have consequences for your partner outside of bdsm circles?That just screams to me of someone who is an abuser, not a dom.Prove me wrong. For some reason, won't let me spell d-u-m-b-i-n-a-n-t right ..

  This is, I think, my first Journal Entry. I have written responses to several profiles posted by women on this site.  I have never included a "laundry list of activities", but rather simply presented myself as a submissive male in search of LTR with a lady who desires to take the lead in a relationship. I have had little luck with this approach, having actually met 2 women, one of which judged me too old (76 then) and still under 80 now.  I have read many profiles posted by dominant women here, not a few of which express frustration about subs "who want to top from the bottom" and a like number who seem to not like for sub men to say what they  want in the way of activities.  At the same time some women have an exhaustive "laundry list" of actiities in which they are interested, Recently, I responded to such a profile and before doing so, I printed a 3 or 4 page laundry list of activites from the lady's laundry list.  I responded by giving information about my knowledge, inteest, experience, like or dislike, or opinion of each item on the list.  Because CS system doesnt seem to like really long responses to profiles, I broke it down in 4 or 5 diffeent messages.  To my surprise, the lady read them all, whch is the opposite of my experience with most of my other responses.  She sent me a not telling me she liked the  detailed responses to her laundry list, even thanked me for it.  Of coursel I was rejected, but it was better than beilng ignored. So, tell me please, ladies, do you really want such detailed responses to you profiles on the first contact?  Or, is the problem more about being between 76 and 80, is just too old to begin with?? with respect, dachastesub

Someone male on the other kink site was talking about dating as a market, and when the "dick is plentiful" comment came up as a point of why it doesn't "sell" he got a bit butthurt.  When someone else tried to point out that dicks are generally attatched to men, and so the problem wasn't the dicks but the men they are attatched to, the quality of which vary a lot, he said "In general, a shirt is not necessarily better than another shirt"Which granted, is absolutely in my wheelhouse to respond to with an informed opinion, so this was my comment.   "Actually, as someone with an education in fashion merchandising/design, and as a costumer, I can say that is not at all accurate. Quality is an easily defined set of properties, such as the tye of materials used, workmanship, colorfastness of dye, functionality of design, etc and varies HUGELY from one shirt to the next. Which is why a shirt from the dollar store may be good enough for a few months, but may soon start to pull apart at the seams, or fade, or wear through, or shrink and become misshapen, etc. whereas a shirt that looks similar from a better manufacturer may last for years and still look fine. I have several shirts my Dad wore for years before he died, which I have now worn as an overshirt for gardening, etc for the two decades since.  I have also bought similar looking shirts new at Walmart and they fell apart within a couple years.   Quality matters. Being an educated consumer matters. Learning to recognize quality, and what to look for before you purchase is the difference between having to replace said shirts frequently, vs keeping something you like for as long as you want it, and possibly even passing it on if you no longer need it.   The same can be said for partners.  So it's important to understand what quality is in people, as well as shirts, and learn how to spot it and the lack of it, and learn to take your time shopping to avoid buyer's remorse. Or even debt and bad contracts...   "Maybe there are fuckbois who one can easily replace if that's what your view of men on average is." Exactly. There are fuckbois, and posers, and trash toys, and upstanding quality men. There are men who do the work to become better, to do the right thing, to play fair and self-manage, etc, and men that just wanna get dat dick wet. There are pretty people, plain people,  low quality people, high quality people, people who are pretty and cheap, people who are less pretty but quality, and vice versa.  You either learn to appreciate quality over superficial properties, or you bounce from crap to crap to crap, always wondering why nothing is ever as good as it looks and everything starts SO nice but never lasts.   As to what market? Dating is advertizing, more than anything.  You have what you have, and they have what they have, and you have to figure out what you want, and how to trade what you have for what you want. Fortunately, you can add to what you have in lots of ways, if what you want is out of reach at a given time. Learn new skills - dancing cooking, massage, etc. Dress better, spiff your appearance. Read books on relationships. Hit the gym. But you have to find out what THEY want, figure out if you can provide it (or are willing to lie about it, as many do) and then learn to explain how what you have will provide what they want.   As someone once said - you don't sell shovels, you sell holes.  "A customer’s ultimate goal is not a product but a change and improvement to their life. "   A man should not try to sell his dick to a woman.  Dicks are EVERYWHERE.  There are literally stores full of dicks that don't even require another person.  No matter how amazing a guy's dick is, I can go buy one better, and not have to bother with having a guy and what he wants attatched.   So, what a man needs to sell is *orgasms*.  And if he wants to be more than just a one-off, he needs to sell the aweome fun before and after the sex.  A submissive man needs to sell how he will make a Domme's life easier and more comfortable. A Dominant man needs to sell how safe and valued his sub will feel.   Sell the value point - how having whatever you are selling will improve the potential buyer's experience. Will is lessen the workload? Provide pleasure?    Increase security? Create comfort? Ease pain? Improve something they already enjoy?    THOSE are what need to be in someone's profile and first emails if they want to find their "market share" and get what they want here.

Just Like This ..... Where'd you wanna go? How much you wanna risk? I'm not looking for somebody With some superhuman gifts Some superhero Some fairytale bliss Just something I can turn to Somebody I can kiss I want something just like this...

ExxonMobil Corp has set into motion a suggestion I made to them in an email to the corporate offices. I rather laid into them for not embracing the use of hydrogen as a fuel to replace oil. Here's the response, In Baytown, Texas, they are building a chemical reactor which uses 2 componets, water and methane. There is pressure and heat applied but I can surely trust its less than the yield. The reaction produces all 8 hydrogen atoms involved. Leaving CO² which can be made solid by liquefied air. That would br dry ice as it commonly called. What this means is unlike as are told by politicians there is no power source for cars and trucks. There now is many. Composting manure will be one of those sourced, human waste both sewer and garbage. All agro byproducts even wood chips, as well as coal and other natural sources for Methane. There's a secondary win here because Methane that currently goes into the atmosphere is a serious greenhouse gas.   Hydrogen is also able to combine with Oxygen to make water and electrons. One electron per atom. This is more efficient than a battery using far less chemicals with a longer life, faster charging, and less weight allowing electric aircraft. Let not vote our way into a Putin wet dream and kill this opportunity to have an utopia.

There's something seriously wrong with your brain if you're not enraged by the shit show dumpster fire that's occuring in our wonderful country every fucking second of every day since he stole the election.  Still supporting this disgusting and vile poor excuse of a human being is unimaginable to so many and yet here we still are. The lawlessness and lack of respect for our constiutution by the people running this clown show is impossible to comprehend.  There are far too many illegal actions occuring to list.  But the most recent that should make anyone with half a brain shudder is that the Epstein Files now have revealed that this piece of shit cult dicktator inserted fingers into 13 year old girls to test their tightness to determine their sexual value.  HOW CAN ANY OF YOU MAGATS STILL THINK HE'S QUALIFIED TO RUN WHAT WAS ONCE THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD?!!!! Gunning down peaceful protesters in broad daylight is unconscionable. But there are no words for probing young girls virgin vaginas for thir perverted pleasure.  We can only hope there's a special prison/HELL for this administration and all the repugnicans that have chosen to turn a blind eye to the atrocities that continue to occur after a year of this craziness.  SHAME ON ANYONE WHO STiLL SUPPORTS HIM!!!!  Our only hope for significant change is the midterms.  This will be our big chance. Otherwise we're doomed. FYI, men have asked why I would voice my opinions hwere.  My simple answer if that I want nothing to do with anyone who has no moral compass or soul. SIMPLE. And you can message and berate me but it just shows what an imbecile you are. Maybe try turning off faux news and see what's really happening.   

Dallas — April 23–25 I’ll be in the city briefly, and I don’t waste time on unfocused or unprepared men. I’m open to select company while I’m there—but understand this is not casual, and it’s not for those who need to be convinced of their place. I will not be alone. My wife will be present—she is intelligent, composed, and fully aware of my dynamic. You will conduct yourself with the same level of respect, awareness, and restraint you would expect in the presence of accomplished women. This is not a space for nervous energy, over-talking, or performative behavior. I expect presence, discretion, and a clear understanding of how to approach properly. You should come prepared—mentally, logistically, and otherwise. I don’t guide from the ground up in a limited window. If you understand structure, composure, and how to present yourself with intention, you may be worth my time. Dallas is a short stay. Make your approach count. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

I excel at cutting people out. Call it a super power. It's not always a clean cut on the inside. Sometimes it takes years to be able to sever the heartstrings. I think people always stay with you. Good or bad, short or lifelong, they are in your wrinkly little brain (yeah, yeah, it's big, I believe you) evermore. I have always considered this ability more of a curse than a blessing, like something is wrong with me. And maybe something is. Maybe there's no maybe. I'm sorting it out. It doesn't change the fact that I am actively making the most difficult cut of my life. There is very little support for my decision, but I've got to do what's right for me. I was just thinking that maybe my prior experience in this was making me stronger for the superbowl of all severed ties. Two years ago I don't know if I could have held my ground. But I'm building trust in myself and being brave. I am valuable and what I think and feel is valid. Important. That's all I need to worry about. All of that mess over there, that's not my responsibility. 

The everyday sized dick Dicks I remember - A (soon to be) collection of the dicks that have made an impression over the years.Here is one about my most recent boyfriend. Now ex.When we first met he had troubles keeping it up with a condom on. I made him practice and only allowed him to wank with one on until it wasn’t a problem. It would later come in handy as I could easily pour his cum where I pleased.

 In his ass, on his face.His cock was average. I came to enjoy it. Especially for tease and denial and long sessions. Fuck for a bit. Have him pause. Sometimes with a ruined. Or to be honest, most times. And then back at it at my pleasure. He could never make me sore, hence a good size for the everyday, several times a day.He knew that I needed something bigger and hotter from time to time though. And that my previous partners were well better equipped. We once scouted together at a sex club but none was big enough to pique my interest. I felt generous so I allowed a man to use my boyfriend’s mouth and ass though (a side dick to remember).I did really enjoy his obedience. He always needed my permission to orgasm. He did good except from one time when I rode him on a chair. We were in a communal space and I sat on his lap, back towards him. The view of my ass, the excitement from possibly getting ”caught” and me not slowing down made him cum hard and without permission. I think he felt equally ashamed and satisfied. I let it slip. I really wanted to be filled.

Reflecting i sit here in chastity, reminiscing on my past, contemplating the decisions i have made, rationalizing some and regretting others.  It is the ones i regret which pierce deep into the soul, humbling the spirit, causing conflict within, creating a helplessness that overwhelms me into a deepening slavishness. Recollections of disobedience consume my mind, no relief, no escape, an affirmation that i am not perfect.  Is it possible for me to make reparation? Are there limits or do i kneel quietly and endure whatever is given to me for my disobedience?   geo

House of M UpdateDamaged (and Slightly Broken) As the song goes, "You're just broken. You're a little bit damaged, I'm a sucker for that" Something you might have seen in one of our past posts - "Seeking a slave who's slightly damaged" But what does it mean to us and why is it important to me and the House of M. First, We are all just a little broken and damaged inside. Nobody gets thru life without some degree of trauma, but so many of us just keep moving blindly forward, mindless of the bruises and scars that shape our actions every day of our life. We want those who are not blind to their trauma, and more, know how it impacts them and are connected enough with their inner self to confront it, so their brokenness does not blindly shape their life. Second, broken and damage adds flavor, uniqueness, and depth. Another song goes, "You might have fewer scars, but I'll have better stories" is absolutely true. I have found that those scars create depth of character and more interesting people. We love your scars! Third, to truly be able to be sympathetic to another, you have to have experienced struggles of your own. We want those who can be genuine, very real, and deeply emotionally naked with us as kinky people and vanilla ones too. If you cannot know the path we have walked, how can you truly "be" as real as we need you to be. Fourth, broken and damage leads to alternative methods to "cope". For whatever reason, it has been my experience that those who are slightly broken and damaged, have the deepest craving for kink. Could it be because they have found their healthy coping mechanism in their kink? Could it be that really letting go in the lifestyle is easier, deeper, more fulfilling because the kink, quiets the voices, eases the pain, brings the sensations that triggers that dopamine rush they need? Perhaps A causes B, who knows? Perhaps? Important: We will never take advantage of anyone. (That causes further abuse or harm). We respect each other, create a supportive environment, and are ALWAYS SAFE and SANE in our time together. So as long as it is healthy, we love help each other cope! Those who might hear manipulation or abusive use in this fourth aspect, know that is NOT it. Fifth, we are stronger together. In our House, we care for one another. Master is a Daddy, and Babygirl has a strong Mommy streak. There is big time nurture aspaspects going on here. We support each other. We care for each other. Our style of blending kink and vanilla lends itself to supporting each other. This is a value of our House that we take very seriously. So YES, we learned long ago that we connect the most with those who are slightly broken, slightly damaged. Our House will always be a safe (and exciting) place for you

Collarspace guidelines prohibit "trans exclusionary hate speech, consensual non-consensent, things which are unlawful, othering, culturally insensitive or hurtful". This and similar is common across social media. It's as if PC Principal has invaded and occupied our online spaces: https://youtu.be/Vvc1nxlJb-o?si=Jn3aS5FR-HX_E-8F

  Podcasts - setting tone and direction & other must listen: (updated 2024-11-18)   english spoken: Diaries of a Domme + Questions Answered, by Chastity Queen Cuck My Life Podcast, by cucks for cucks The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast, by Venus Female Led Relationship Podcast, by Marisa Rudder Obedient Love Podcast, by Viola Voltairine Krystine's FLR Podcast, by Krystine Kellogg    deutsch/german: LustReise, by Kay & Ben Dominante Grüße, by Lady Penelope Machtfertigs BDSM Podcast, by Herrin Sabina Auroras Mistress Talk, by Aurora Nia Noxx Nika Macht! - Das wahre Ahh und Ohh des BDSM & Sex, by Anika Tiegs Die Kunst der Unvernunft, by Sebastian Stix Lustgewinn - BDSM, Kink und Sex, by Cate & Michel/li Bound-n-Hit, by Julina Bauer enjoy & ...obey   

He was there when i was brokenHe was there when the tears shreddedHe was there when my meds wasnt workingHe was there walking by my side protecting meHe was there to pick up the pieces when my family threw me to the wolvesHe was there for me when i felt aloneHe was there to pick up the phone when i needed to talkHe was there for me when i had a mental snap due to my medical problemsHe was there for me through thick and thinHe was there tp correct me when i messed upHe was there and has been for going on 11 yearsIt all started by a simple friend requestHe was there for my failures and successesCan you say that about your Master? If not good you deserve itMy Master is my saver im still breathing because of him thank you Master i respect you and thank you for being there for me and allowing me to walk by you now its my turn to return it if you need me im one phone call away just a text away im here for you

I’m at a point in life where I’m genuinely ready for love and a long-term relationship built on emotional depth, chemistry, and mutual investment. I’m drawn to men who are grounded, emotionally aware, communicative, and naturally attentive to the person they care about. I give deeply when I choose someone (like the Leo I am). And I’m drawn to people who naturally feel inspired to meet that energy, or even exceed it. I notice when someone shows up with care and initiative. I’m not looking for potential or vague curiosity. I’m looking for someone who actively wants to build something real, evolve together, and hopefully explore power-exchange through a FLR.  I created a questionnaire as a doorway into that exploration. You sharing real experiences matter more than theoretically "correct" answers. If you feel intrigued rather than intimidated you’re probably in the right place ❤️ Submit your answers here: https://forms.gle/6Ui8kVrZasXGZmc8A  /Miss Trevligheter

Swim in the ocean, the sea of life, Bring me a masochist whose suffering eases my strife, Take the pain I give again on repeat, Bow to My will and massage my feet. Open the chapters of your mind and show me all, Melt to my wishes rise to my command not fall. How brave are you with your body to give my need? How will surrender to my sadistic Tiger to feed? Feed My Tiger How I tell you to give, Be water and mould like holes through a sieve. Melt into what I need you to be, simp and gracious addicted to me.

If you do not meet my must-haves, don't contact me. Don't send "if only you didn't want ___ I'd fit" messages. This play for manipulation/sympathy/exceptions doesn't work on me, and shows you don't respect me or other women as people who know themselves better than you think you know them. Don't lie about about reading my profile when you clearly did not. It's extremely obvious you didn't, and lying is a bad look. Also don't lie about your age, ethnicity, etc.  It doesn't increase your chances, and if I find out, I'm done. Yet again, respect my choice to not choose you.  

CFNM Couples Tea Party 14th September 2024 4pm prompt  After many requests for couples to attend the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party I have decided to heed your call!! Dominant Ladies are invited to bring their submissive partner to join the the Tea Party on 14th September for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. The submissives will be there solely to serve and cater to the ladies' every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again!  This is NOT! purely for male/female couples, ladies who wish to bring their female submissive are also encouraged to join the party. And, as usual, single ladies and gentlemen are also very welcome to attend. Ladies, this is your chance to be served by submissives and objectify them in a group situation. Whilst CFNM includes activities that are not exclusively orientated towards female dominance and superiority, a modicum of humiliation and punishment to submissives not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Submissives, (whether male or female) ,this is your chance to parade and display yourself proudly in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM. The AcadaMay events/CFNM is also extremely inclusive and an absolutely safe and comfortable environment for single ladies attending on their own who wish to explore alternative scenarios in situation where they will be supported. All guests (both male and female) at the Tea Party will either need to be known personally by myself or will need to contact me with some brief details about themselves and a face photo so I know who they are. All in the strictest confidence and with the ultimate of discretion ;)  If you wish to attend send me a message!

Personality Traits of BDSM Practitioners Another Look A recent study provides another glimpse into Recently, the practice BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance/submission, sadism-masochism) has generated a great deal of interest among lay-people and academics alike. The best-selling novel Fifty Shades of Grey and the new film of the same name have helped bring an otherwise stigmatised phenomenon into mainstream awareness. However, this book is apparently not a particularly accurate portrayal of how BDSM is practiced in real life (for example, see this post by sex researcher Justin Lehmiller). Fortunately, this increased interest in the subject has also been accompanied by some new scientific studies that may help to provide more accurate insight into these practices. In a previous post, I discussed a 2013 study that suggests that BDSM practitioners are generally psychologically healthy and that they tend to prefer roles that fit their personalities. In this post, I discuss a newer study that also examined the personality traits of BDSM practitioners using a somewhat different personality model. Some of the findings were highly similar, although there were some differences as well that may be worth exploring further to shed more light on the psychology of BDSM. BDSM encompasses a diverse range of activities that include but not are limited to the exercise of power and control by one person over another, physical and psychological restraint, and infliction of pain and humiliation. These activities may or may not occur in a sexual context. Typically, someone in a dominant role, known by a variety of terms, including ‘top’, ‘dom or dominant’ or ‘sadist’, will direct the actions of someone in a submissive obedient role, known by such terms as ‘bottom’, ‘sub or submissive’ or ‘masochist’. All activities are consensual and practitioners will negotiate beforehand what they consider acceptable. Many participants have a preferred role they assume in most or all activities, while some prefer to switch roles as desired. Participation in BDSM can range from occasional casual role-playing to a preferred orientation and even to a whole lifestyle with 24/7 role enactments (Hébert & Weaver, 2014). As discussed in one of the earliest posts ever, when i decided to start posting a blog, there has been some quite interesting research looking into the psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners. Contrary to what has often been assumed, there is no evidence that BDSM practitioners in general suffer from any particular form of psychological disturbance and in fact they seem to be mentally and emotionally well-adjusted (Richters, De Visser, Rissel, Grulich, & Smith, 2008; Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013). I was particularly interested in the findings of a study of Dutch BDSM practitioners (Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013) which included an assessment of their personality traits according to the Big Five model. The five factors in this model are neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. These are broad personality characteristics that subsume a larger number of narrower more specific traits. According to this study, practitioners in general, including both dominants and submissives, tended to be higher in openness to experience and conscientiousness compared to a comparison sample from the general population. Additionally, participants who preferred the dominant role tended to be lower in agreeableness and neuroticism compared to submissive participants and to the general population, while, submissives tended to be more extraverted than the general population. Additionally, dominants tended to have higher subjective well-being and were less sensitive to rejection compared to the general population, suggesting that people drawn to the dominant role may be particularly

It's odd to me that some men don't understand why there are women on here (and in general) who don't want to do what they want.  Men who contact women dick or fetish first, either visually or through words, and are peeved that the women aren't ready to immediately engage with them the way they expected.  "Hey, lady, if you don't want to do what interests me, why are you even here?!  Since I find you attractive, you have to find me attractive, too!"  How terribly disappointing for them to discover that women have their own interests and come here (and anywhere else) to pursue what they want.  Like, a xxx69MasterChode69xxx or a MrSirDomPencilDick4Lyf are really under the impression that women have been online just waiting for when they would contact them.  There's no other reason a woman would be online.   I know I certainly don't have my own interests and kinks.  Of course not.  I've just been waiting for another pic of an utterly forgettable male member in an endless onslaught of utterly forgettable male members or a lame headless torso, or worse yet, a vanilla guy who thinks a sloppy bj qualifies as "kinky" on a kink site.  I'm interested in pursuing my own kinks with the people who interest me.  I don't care what a guy wants.  I didn't ask about his fetishes.  I don't request pictures, so I'm not trying to see someone's face, body, or dick.  And unless my curiosity has been piqued enough that I'd be open to pursuing anything with a guy, none of those things are relevant to me.  I am here for my reasons, my kinks, my sexual pursuits.  They don't have to be the same as yours.  I am not going to pander to what a guy wants just because he wants it.  

10172025 Thank you again to all who reach out with words of encouragement and shared experience.  I feel the supportiveness and it gives Me another speck of SOURCE which fills Me and carries over to care of My best friend and mother.  Thank you from both of us women.  I never have shared much about the dominant nature of mother, but it is enough to say we are matched well.     For those who are DRAINS on My energy, you know well who you are and your presence is the slow bleed in life.  One could hope it all balances one out in the end, yet I cannot help keep thinking WHATAWASTEOFCELLS. You have the capacity for greatness and yet you allow EGO to rule you and with it come all the rest of the bedfellows, or more commonly known as the 7 sins.  Such a sorrow and I pray you find grace and love in your life.   I am seeking.  Many men have flitted in and out, some sharing more of their self and then life gets in the way, and afterall still I am not served, WE are not served. No live in, no part time, and 'Blast! Nothin but mutton to eat."  lol I continue the search and refine, redefine and realign Myself for the PRESANT.  

The Rules of the House of DL. * Family comes first. * I am here to satisfy my Master's needs and in return he will fulfill my needs. * I will be respectfulto my Master at all times. * My Master is always there for me, no matter what my need may be. * I will not put myself down. * I have to get enough sleep, rest and maintain my health. * Any big decisions, I ask Master. He listens to me and if I have a problem we discuss it. * No pets on the furniture! * 10. Be in compliance with the 4 agreements:   * 10A. Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.   * 10B. Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.   * 10C. Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, saddness and drama.   * 10D. Always do you best. Simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret. [(www.miguelruiz.com )]

My ultimate goal is to find a man to make me his housewife, so I decided to write some things about what that means to me. A housewife is just a fancy way to say you are a slave in a 24/7 TPE. A housewife is property, a housewife has no rights, only those a master gives them. A housewife gives their mind and body to a master, a housewife is not able to make the decisions that are in their best interest, so a master takes that role. They choose the clothes that are best for their housewife to wear that day, a master knows the most important things that need to be done and make a list for the hou to complete for the day. The typical day of the housewife consists of cooking for a master, cleaning the masters house, and completing the duties a master tells them to do. A master cares for their housewife, and if a housewife does something wrong or does not do something correctly, the master punishes the housewife, to teach them and help them grow. A housewife gives their mind and body to the master, a master deserves this for caring for the housewife, this means their body is the master's to use amd abuse whenever and however they choose. I know there is more to this but these were just some of my thoughts.

this is my dream This is not a fantasy. This is the ache beneath my ribs— the lullaby I’ve hummed to the stars since I first learned to wait. I have waited with my heart open like soft hands, through silence, through stalling, through the almosts that never quite stayed. I dream of a man who is not just Daddy in name, but Daddy in soul— the kind who meets me at the door with arms that feel like Sunday morning. Where I kneel, not in performance, but in reverence— because I know I am held. Because I know I am safe. I want to kiss his feet every day— on the good days, with laughter between us, on the sad days, when the world is heavy, on the angry days, when we tremble but choose not to run. Not out of duty, but devotion. I will pray over him. Not because he needs saving— but because I need to witness his peace, his purpose, his path made light. Because loving him is my quiet altar. I don’t want a scene. I want a sanctuary. I want someone who learns my rhythm and holds my chaos like something holy. To be kissed on the forehead because I am more than pretty— I am precious. To be told "good girl" in a voice that knows I am doing my best, not just being obedient. To not have to explain why I cry after sweetness, why soft love undoes me, why I tremble when someone finally stays. I’m not waiting to be played with. I’m waiting to be kept.

Hello prospective submissive, I'm glad my post caught your eye, I've been looking for my pet slave for quite some time now, and I do hope you are going to be the one to fulfill both of our desires. But first, let me tell you a bit about what I'm truly looking for:I search for a submissive that, from the bottom of her heart, desires a relationship with her dom, her owner. This dynamic, and relationship, would be built upon a foundation of transparant communications, triplicate (physical, mental, and emotional) care, and proven mutual trust. Within this, I expect that my word and intentions are the law by which the submissive is beheld to, for her to surrender, both her control and her worries, completely to me, for I shall be the one to lead and to guide her. I do not mind to start off with long distance, but when the time comes, I would expect for her to be with me, and I have the means to ensure this happens, be it relocation assistance or otherwise.She should expect to have protocols be taught and enforced, be able to execute my instructions in a timely and satisfactory manner, assume basic household duties, engage in pet-play or pet-play adjacent activities, and eagerly look forward to affection in all its forms. Shared hobbies, especially nerdy ones, and deep conversations of whatever topics that graces the mind will be part and parcel for the healthy maintanence of the relationship.Do not mistake my kindness for a lack of structure or lack of the darker side of play, I am more than capable of providing affectionate cruelty with humiliating remarks, sadistic orders, and physical discipline. Ultimately, the shape of the dynamic-relationship will be influenced by the experiences we both share. If any of this resonated with you, and you are someone that places her owner first, I invite you to reach out. I want to learn more about you, and there is no substitute for communication.Do you think you would be the one to catch my eye? I look forward to finding out,Your future master

I could be your mother/ I could be your dream/ I could make it look like it never happened, leave it clean/ Oh I could be your friend/ Or I could be on my back/ I could beg, I could bully/ I could brace you for impact/ Oh I could be counterfeit/ I could be real/ I could be the wound around your neck/ You tell your friends you can heal/ I could be 500 virgins/ I could be 500 whores/ I could be anything, anything, anything but yours/   I could be your mother/ I could be mad/ I could talk utter bullshit, I could be matter of fact/ Oh I could be broken/ Or I could be whole/ I could be something to fix in your New Years resolution goal/ Oh I could be an angel/ I could be a jerk/ Make a plan to save me, you can choose if you want it to work/ I could be a purity to ruin/ Corrupt for you to restore/ I could be anything, anything, anything but yours/   I could be your mother/ I could be your dad/ I could be the family that you always wished that you had/ Oh I could be a kiss/ I could be a hit/ Let me know if you ever figure out the difference/ Oh I could be a fact/ I could be a lie/ I could be the truth you search for your whole life but never find/ I could be your bravado/ I could be gone tomorrow/ I could be anything, anything, anything.../

8/24/25 I'm around, albeit less frequently. I am still looking for a FT sub/slave, with a big focus on working beside me, as my hands. A sub in my Home will be well cared for, with a level of D/s and kink that helps keep them motivated. If you enjoy house and yard work, there's plenty to stay busy, or if you're able and want to work from home or here in the Denver area, that's an option.  Long-term position is also a possibility, which means my extra-long set of questions may be the most important job application you ever complete.  It's not for the faint of heart... Then again, neither am I. 😈

Well life is different. After 12 years of being owned almost 1 year being Free and looking to step foot back into things again. I am looking to start with a play partner or so and work my way up. Vetting will be a must. I am not going to just drop to my knees at first meeting we need to get to know boundaries limits likes dislikes each other etc. Play parties with local hosts and munches can and will be enjoyed. why things failed from my perspective. Rose colored glasses came off when I was the one putting 99% of the effort into the relationship. I stayed faithful throughout but he cheated. He stopped putting effort in first as a dom then as a partner yet still married him. I was trying to hold onto the spark we had in the begining and the man I saw so full of potential. I cooked I cleaned I provided I got forgotten. No birthday christmas mothers day nothing. I had to on many occasions buy my own presents. Even when he picked them I then had to pay for them (we were both working) I made his dreams come true he wanted to own this kind of vehicle sure thing. a motorcycle here got ya set up for one. Hey you need a motorcycle club to join I networked and found one that I thought he would mesh with. I got the day after christmas chocolate covered cherries on clearance and the only kind i didnt like (theres 2 major kinds i didnt want the creme ones) I wanted to be touched loved fucked beaten and i got ehh nothing. I made him a little jealous by going to a kink party without and he came the next one but the flogging just didnt have his heart in it and i could tell. My platonic play partner did a better job than my spouse. He had Poly Pride tattoeed on his person so I asked to find a girlfriend and he blew his stack at me screaming calling me all sorts of names and even by his ex wifes name. Gaslight me about his sexuality that he had told me years ago he was ace (nope never said that) Tried to gaslight me on that argument and broke some of my boundaries that night. I asked him to go to therapy and find couples therapy. He went a couple times then quit. I tried to hold on hope until my kid said mom your not happy dont wait for me to graduate go be happy. So Now thats what I am.  

Every time i try to update my profile it either gets discarded or just never seems to update, so i am going to try a journal entry. It's hard to believe i could be much more prepared to meet someone for a serious relationship/position, but i continue to work toward it, hoping someone might one day be there for me. In a perfect world, i would find someone that wanted both a genuine relationship and a very regimented M/s life. It would be wonderful to travel and share a life with a Master, living life as His girlfriend, with hormones and 24/7 femme existence. But to also have the M/s dynamic as a backbone of our relationship. Cuddling on the couch, binging a series but all the while wearing a metal collar, chained wrists, chastity, ass plugged. All of the wonderful things of being a spouse but never once having a moment to think that it is "free" of will or choice. Soaking up whatever attention it's owner is willing to give, working every minute for it's opportunity to get a little positive feedback.  

4/19/2024 7:38:34 AM I detest the world of text and email is little better.  How do we get to know one another?  Talking by phone is good, sharing space is better.  Nothing replaces breathing like air.     I'm here seeking now and am looking to install a slave in reasonably short order.  I've no intention of playing with ya'll for months on end.  We talk, we meet, we do.   While different aspaspects are new, unclear, or undefined, this is not an impossible ask.   This relating we do touches on our core and when we text and email, we are agreeing to open ourselves to misinterpretation.  We have lives going on, usually complex and not meeting our inner needs, we are over tired, sick or caring for others.  We dont have the luxury of seeing one another at work or at the pub to work things through.  We need to listen and give the benefit of the doubt until or unless discussions implode.     Have you ever heard that the more ingredients in a food, the worse it is for your body?  Bingo!  The more division we put between us and our get to know, the harder that climb and claiming is going to be because their is more opportunity for misunderstanding.

Scared off the Dom that It was presently Under consideration too.A Civvie that he didnt keep it confidence and discussed things about it without checking with it first Especially about it Military deployments and active duty.He went to a friend as a sounding board he trusted that person told him that he should run away as fast as he can because of what it has been involved with and committed too on its old life. How fucked up it is mentally and physically because of wars deploying and willingness to sacrificing its life for the greater good to make a difference.He told his friend that It works as a Prostitute to survive after another Dom it sacrificed its careers for to be totally focused on him and later he was found out to be a closet serial killer.And all the medical treatments and surgerys ahead of it. He turned out to be a frightened little rabbit that breaching it trust was the betrayal was so big he knew It couldn't forgive him.

drama at home :( mom turned her back on me and gave me an outcasted look earlier today all for her hubbys aproval... however i know shell do anything in the world to give my little brother a "fauther" exp. even it mean Xing me...  in the end i cant hate her for what shes doing but dang .... talk about a shotgun round to the heart :(    big empty hole needs to be filled .... lol get it.    im very loyal and honest to the bone probably the nicest person youll ever encounter however dont get misslead ... i totally love to push my envolope and live life on the edge... ive expirienced and expiriemented with a lot in my opinion ... please dont ask... "" what kinda exp do you have -_____-"" just fill in the blanks as we conversate ... ... im ALL go with the flow so more then likey i dont know what im doing next week so idk if id be available or intrested in meeting you.. i know im not always on here but im ready for my next chapter and willing to give a special someone all of me to mold into their perfect being :)note im intrested in heading out to Texas, NY or socal(home) however not a deal breaker im just as intrested in nearly anywhere on the east or west COST!! more inland .... ehhh but will consider of course :) if your intrested drop a message anyone who takes a chance on me wont be disappointed. oh ps.. NO Flakes and for gods sake picture please .... 

  Paraphrasing, of course. "Dear beautiful and intelligent Domina, here is a long detailed message outlining why I'm a good candidate to move across country and serve you in all the ways you want despite being 20 years your senior. Let's have a discussion in a live chat so we can get to know each other and see if we are compatible." 20 minutes of conversation that suddenly stops for 9 hours with no warning later- "Well, I don't keep my phone on me all the time. I have stuff to do." Because of course, walking away mid discussion without saying 'hey, I need to go do something' or even having the courtesy of admitting 'hey, I'm not feeling it, but I appreciate your time' would take too much effort.  Age does not always mean wise and being raised in the older generation still doesn't mean they have manners.  This is what you guys are up against - proving you are the pearl in a sea of dregs. 

Oh I wish I had a slave driver here, A useful chatty person near, Drives me to key appointments with notice set, Keen to be useful to me I bet. When I choose club play nights off we fly, Whips on his derriere produce mutual joy sighs.   Though now pleasant chat from the states only shows, Useless in practical life we all know. And I am a practical person through and through, So where are you Slave driver you not around tinges me blue.   Instead I am busy with study and skill, Developing life knowledge so my mind advances up a holl, Knowledge is power so I consume mine, Growing as a person through time.

Apparently it's time for a much needed journal entry, because my inbox is flooded with messages. A lot of nice messages from nice people with whom nice contact has already arisen, but unfortunately there are also a lot of people out there with (sexual) frustrations or worse. To make things clear to everyone who seeks me out to have a chat, if you have an extensive wishlist as to how you would like to be handled, kept or be treated, I am probably not for you. Submission derives from to submit! This essentially means that you follow and submit to Me and I decide where and how I am going to submit you. Being a slave, means to give up ones free will and give up his or her freedom. Eventhough this is in the BDSM way of life and completely voluntary, it does still mean that I get to kick you out to the curbes if you don't uphold our agreement. In other words, we've made a deal. You become my slave and I get to do with you however I please and you get nothing in return. Your reward lies in being My slave. Then a footnote for some nutcase I came across who felt he needed to fill my mailbox with his pedantic little finger. Nobody is forcing you to send me a message, nobody is telling you or forcing you to become my slave (it is a privilage and certainly not one for you to receive). A footnote in general: I literally receive 30 emails an hour. I am not at your disposal, but those who are chosen by me are at my disposal! Very important difference. This means that I will not respond when and how it suits you, but if and when it suits Me! That will do for now. If you reach out, either be polite or f*** off!  To all others, it is fun getting acquainted with you and talk to y'all soon. Greetings Mrs B.

Extra, too much, enough Dear men, Before you say I'm "extra" and "too much," ask yourself ... "are you even enough"? Compliments of the Single Woman. The right man will love you right.

I'm not quite sure how this site works or where this post will show up, but I'm up late and wondering....another post got me thinking, and I'm off on a tangent. I guess I'm trying to make a shift from my vanilla life to this new and exciting life. The vanilla life is easy, I guess, kinda, I can have sex, yay, it's easy, I can lie and say I like it, I want to be with you, and have a relationship. But all the time my brain, and penis, knows better, I'm thinking how I can convert you to be my perfect kinky partner. I CAN'T. I KNOW! FU#K! So now what? I'm tired of lying, feeling guilty. Virginisinism sounds good for now I guess.

reposting this as I have had several prospaspects ask if I am still looking to collar a slave. The answer is yes but onky one that can function well in a poly leather household. Please read the repost below for more info   Instead of updating the profile and having it be down for months, I am using the journal to note changes.      I have collared a slave and it is serving in My home 24/7/365   I continue to train and develop other slaves that need experience serving, learning protocols, developing pain tolerence or just want to provide pleasure to a Master   I am also looking for a second slave for a poly household. Mine is a Leather Family and I have many friends in the world Leather community. I have a process for evaluating a slave for ownership, if there is interest I can explain further.   The new Dungeon Barn has finally been built. This 3 level dungeon is an all season timber frame barn built on a stone foundation. The interior is being finished and then equipment installed. Completion scheduled for winter 2021.   Summer months We/we reside at our camp. Cothing optional, men only, with a complete dungeon there as well

Now that we have journals back, it's time for an update. This is now a poly household. We're set up with both a dungeon and a medical playroom.  The dungeon is amazingly well stocked with just about every sort of cane, flogger and whip you can imagine, and some things you probably haven't.  Anyone who's interested in play time or dungeon time should feel free to ask. If you're interested in more than just playtime, there are some things you should understand:  This is a KINKY HOUSEHOLD.  It is NOT kid friendly.  If you have kids, and have custody of them, we can talk and even arrange some playtime, but we're probably not going to be a good match.  This is a POLY HOUSEHOLD.  In order to make this dynamic work, everyone involved needs to be willing to compromise and work as a team.  This is a balance that takes work to maintain, and is incomptable with drama.  We're only interested in women who are willing to try to contribute to the dynamic and thereby add to the household.  Chaos is not welcome here.    If you are under 25, we don't expect you to have your life together, but we do expect you to be sane and healthy.  Freaky is encouraged, but have a grip of reality - you've got to start with reality before you plunge down the rabbit hole.  If you are over 35, still living at home and unable to take care of yourself, or still going out to bars and clubs every night you can to get blitzed and hook up, you need to grow up before contacting us.  I am willing to travel to meet, but if you're outside PA, you're going to need to do a video call.  We travel by private plane on the east coast of the US.  If this excites you great, I'd love to have another pilot in the household.  If this terrifies you, we're out of your league.  I'm sure there will be more coming, but this is a good start. 

Surviving Dead by Daylight:   In the shadows, I roam, chased by dread, In "Dead by Daylight," where hope hangs by a thread. Heart racing, I evade, my breath but a sigh, Survivor in this twisted game, never ready to die.   Through the fog and the fear, I must find my way, Trapped in this nightmare, where I cannot stray. With every heartbeat, a killer draws near, But I must persevere, conquer my fear.   Pallets crash, windows shatter, as I make my stand, Against the darkness closing in, in this cursed land. Alone or with others, we fight side by side, In this deadly game where survival is our pride.   Generators hum, a beacon of hope in the night, Guiding me towards dawn, towards the light. Though hunted and haunted, I refuse to yield, In "Dead by Daylight," my fate is sealed.   So I'll run, I'll hide, I'll do what I must, To escape this fate, to rise from the dust. A survivor, a warrior, in this never-ending fight, In "Dead by Daylight," I'll cling to the light.

== Results from bdsmtest.org: ==   100% Submissive  90% Rope Bunny  88% Brat  81% Masochist  77% Experimentalist   57% Degradee  52% Voyeur  45% Primal (Prey)  38% Vanilla  21% Pet  20% Slave  18% Exhibitionist  9% Non-monogamist  6% Owner  4% Rigger  0% Daddy/Mommy  0% Ageplayer  0% Brat tamer  0% Degrader  0% Dominant  0% Little  0% Master/Mistress  0% Primal (Hunter)  0% Sadist  0% Switch   

For more information see profile under same name...   Update:   Mother on month 7 of sleep therapy.  Yes it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE.  Meanwhile, I'm navigating a new normal.  Some days you just need to 'smile and wave', put in the induction earphones and carry on... I can always tell when something AMAZING is around the corner.  There is always that s q u e e z e just before.  This is a big s q u e e z e so I know it is going to be GREAT!  Looking forward to My minions coming lol  If this time has taught Me anything it is laugh cry do what you have to do and take no prisoners.  Never more true were the words than -to thine own self be true.  It's all you have at the end of the day and if you are really super lucky, you may have some company along the way.  Needless to say the squeeze in this life is just about choking the every living life out of Me.  With God leading the way, I follow the light fully armed. On a personal front I continue to be grateful for those who share their path with Me.  Each of Us is learning and growing in our understanding of ourselves and one another.  Layiing the foundation for the time to come has been invaluable and all of us are looking foward to what will be. In the meantime and until such time as the house is full, I am seeking and have availability to share in conversation after dinner most nights.

Old profile removed July 6, 2025 All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked. Yes, I know Collarspace's filters remove some punctuation. That's not what I am talking about. Three sentences, not one long run-on sentence.   I am a switch. I have not bottomed or submitted since 2016, but if you cannot handle your dominant or top taking the bottom side I am not the one for you. I am NOT looking for a dominant or top, hence identifying my profile as a domme. I do not reply to dominants or tops looking to dominate or top me.   I am polyamorous. I live with my wife Raine. She is aware of this profile and what I am looking for. She and I are play partners working back toward a power exchange that ended during the worst of the isolation because of COVID.   I am not looking for an Ms relationship or an Op relationship. If you self identify as a slave we are not compatible. I am not a female supremacist and I do not practice TPE.   If you are younger than 25 please do not apply.   What I AM looking for are local play partners, lovers, and or submissives. Local means in or around San Antonio. I am not looking for someone to relocate, move in with me, or play with me while they are visiting San Antonio.   My ideal submissive is service oriented and open to a variety of play styles and techniques, and open to trying new things. My ideal play partner has interest in multiple kinds of play and enjoys intense play and receiving pain.   Giving cunnilingus is a soft limit. Receiving cunnilingus is not high on my priorities list, although it can be lovely. I LOVE dildo play and fisting. I have reservations about strap-on harnesses.   If you are not in the San Antonio, TX area regularly, don't contact me as a potential submissive or play partner. I don't "play" online and I have no interest in choreographing elaborate scenes for you to act out on webcam to fulfill your fetishes. I am living my flesh life and I don't have time for an online life. Friendship and conversation are welcome, but no leading questions trying to get me to provide fap fodder.   My dance card is sometimes (over)full but that's the way I like it. There IS room in my life for a full time submissive should I come across one who is compatible with me.   The remainder of my profile remains intact from before:   I find minds sexy more often than I find bodies sexy, though I can certainly appreciate a sexy body! I love intelligence and learning, enjoy teaching what I know and learning from others, be they friend, lover, submissive, Dominant, switch, or myriad role identities.   I'm open to finding kinky friends who can hang out at home with or without play, play partners who share my interests, lovers, or submissives. Or all of the above. A poly pansexual service oriented submissive who likes edgy as well as everyday play, can take intense pain and get satisfaction from it, and wants to serve a BBW Domme would be great. ~Santa, here's my list, no, I'm not holding my breath.~   Micro e-mails are a pet peeve of mine. Write an e-mail with at least three sentences. But don't send me a novella either - it takes getting to know someone before I'm motivated to read something overly long. One or two paragraphs is great. You could tell me what you liked about my profile, why you are writing (friendship, submission, playing, learning?), tell me a little bit about yourself.   I'm looking for a submissive that gets fulfillment from both service and play. I'd like to find one whose mind and body both attract me. I want to find a submissive and/or play partner who loves to explore, who loves lots of kinds of play, who finds intensity and connection sexy and hot and gets a lot from the connection in a scene not just what type of play is being done. I want to find someone who is up for light spanking and tickle play one day, and a wicked caning another, who can handle flames licking across their skin and delight in it just as much as a tongue's caress. I want someone who can play light and silly as well as deep and intense, who can enjoy something as mundane as a spanking while still being open to trying hot, sexy, edgy, rough shit.   But it's not all about play. I want a submissive who gets along well with me, who is a delightful conversational partner, who is intelligent and sometimes witty. I would love to find a submissive who helps me with my flaws and supports me in my own goals as much as they work to improve themselves and make me proud they are mine, to be in my service. I want a submissive who is willing to help out, whether it is helping me fold laundry and dry dishes or brainstorming a website design. Gimme gimme! A submissive who loves to learn! A submissive who loves to serve! A submissive who loves to play! A submissive who loves letting go of control! A submissive who is self aware, practices self honesty, and communicates clearly! I'm not interested in someone whose ONLY interaction with me is for BDSM, or for play, or for sex. I want to find someone who can become a part of my life, who feels comfortable joining me for vanilla hangout time, sexy snuggle time, as well as kinky dress up and play time.   But that doesn't fully describe it either. I want to find someone who feels that submission is about more than doing chores or taking a good beating. Where is that mind hiding that WANTS to be told to do something disagreeable, because submitting is sometimes about doing what you DON'T like. A submissive who knows saying "I don't like that" is a way of giving me more control. That it doesn't mean I won't do it any more, it just means when I do it I will do it DELIBERATELY!! Are you out there, craving someone who isn't afraid to deny the things you like just to watch you squirm and make you beg for them? Where is the submissive who loves high protocol as well as casual time? Where is the submissive who can make offering to take my plate into the kitchen touch my heart? Where is the submissive who isn't ashamed to kiss my feet in front of friends, who wants to be the best they can be so that I can be proud to own them? Are you out there, unready to give everything to a stranger, but wanting to let go and give up control, incrementally, as trust develops?   Read my journal entries to learn a bit about me. This is long already, so I won't start trying to describe who I am, but if you'd like to know, ask and I'll probably answer.

If you are applying for a postion with us you need to keep in mind that each communication is part of the interview. So when we tell you to answer the 8 questions that can be found below in one of our other journal entries make sure to completely answer them all.  As we go through the process make sure you read our messages and answer completely and thoroughly all what is asked of you. In the end we go back and evealuate all of this before deciding if we think you are a good fit and serious about this.    Here is how our process goes. 1. You reach out to us first with a message introducing yourself, someimes we reach out to females we may be interested in and introduce ourselves and ask them if interested to do the same, either way you should be thorough in your answer. 2. Unless you read our profile and journals and answered the 8 questions, extra consideration if you did, we tell you to read everything ans answer the 8 questions. 3.. We ask you if you have any questions 4. we give you an email address for you to reply to so we can send you the house rules  5. You will review the house rules and ask any questions in them and once done decide if you are able and willing to live by them. 6. We give you and advanced questionaire to fill out and we ask any questions about it we need to know more about 7. We allow you to ask questions you may still need to know before deciding if you want this with us. 8. We decide if we want to try it with you and you do the same we exchange phone numbers voice verify each other 9. set up trial period 10. you do trial period and we discuss with you at end of it whether we are all in agreement to offer the position.  11. You get training collar for 6-12 months 12. Once we feel you are trained you get permanent colar.

First Newsletter from Tawsingham (and Dragao Verde) websites, Spring 2023   The websites themselves are still under construction, and will be launched soon.   If you want to keep in touch, sign up for news at our new website   Copy of the broadcast below:   Olá! Welcome to the first ever news from the Tawsingham Network, Spring 2023.   What we’ve done since Summer   Slideshow of photos to illustrate the words!    Click on the title, and an explanation of what you’re seeing will appear.   I now have full control of my publishing and royalties, again. I published Guide for New Maids] and Pretty Maids All in a Row.   Both worthwhile purchases, particularly if you may come here as a maid.   We’ve many more new titles, but we will wait until we have the website up and running.   Publishing is vital, to add much-needed extra income.   Moreover royalties will help fund the project, as part of my plans to ensure Tawsingham and Dragão Verde will carry on, even after I am gone.   It would be a shame, with all the work put in, from all involved, if these communities die with me!   Books are useful to attract interest, and recruit volunteers online, or in person, too. Kathi has set up IT facilities with a huge, robust, shared hard disc, regular backups, itself backed up. I’ve often taken out my girls Jessica, Kathi Jessica, Kathi and myself in Tomar. It’s vital to me and to them that they go out with me, to show I’m proud of them, not hiding them from the world as ‘my guilty secret’. I’ve laid hundreds of donated wall and floor tiles, in the maids’ bathroom/utility room! See slideshow! I’m nearly ready to put in the sanitary-ware, taps, etc. Kathi has installed a secure, fast server, with open-source operating system, connected to the national fibre-optic network, with WiFi and, potentially, wired connection to our computers. I’ve installed a tiled, wooden work surface and open shelving for non-perishable goods in the maids’ kitchen, so all Kathi uses to cook with, is on open display, easily accessible. I had her put everything she needed, in the way she wanted, then built shelves at a depth and spacing to match, to give a compact, ordered display. See slideshow! We’ve had several successful dinner parties with both scene and vanilla guests, more are planned. We’ve also welcomed other scene friends, a local scene couple, and Kathi’s cycling friends. I’ve installed a tiled work surface for crockery and cookware awaiting washing-up, with shelves above for all the crockery, bowls, mugs, tea and coffee, etc. in the scullery.   I’ve done a lot of wall tiling in the kitchen and scullery too, put in a marble shelf for washing-up liquid, scourers, and other possibly we things, and a rail to hang tea-towels to dry.   All on the same basis, designing shelves to fit the need. See slideshow!   I’ve also acquired more new-to-us crockery and cutlery, added to what we had, and will use short-term.   I put lots aside too, for when we equip the gentry kitchen, as well. Kathi went to a Womens’ Munch in Lisbon, we both went to an all-night scene Xmas party there, slept before and afterwards in my little van. We now have a place to stay next time.   We both visited good friends where we’d done pony-play. We’ll stay in touch.   Then we drove to The BDSM Villa near Porto for their Xmas party, and slept in their dungeon afterwards, a four- hour drive back.  See TheBDSMVilla Xmas party pictures on FetLife! We went back to The BDSM Villa for a big formal dinner and all-night party there in the New Year, by train. It took five hours. We’ll use the express next time, cut it to four hours.  Going to scene events was a deliberate decision to get out, meet people who go out too. We now have a much wider circle of active Portuguese scene friends. Particularly the folk at The BDSM Villa. I may use their place for events, one day, if ever I have the enough volunteers. The next big step forward I’ll finish tiling, electrics in the maid quarters, once it has a ceiling. The maids will sleep in the attic space above.   I need to do this for any maids I bring back in September!   Putting-in this ceiling and the floor above is work that ideally I would have done years ago. But I didn’t know how to do it then, did not have the skills, or the money to pay builders.   I know how to do it now. I just need the fairly modest cost of materials, €500 or so.   I need help too, as much of the work has to be done above head height, (hard with my axial spondylarthritis), and ladder work is not safe to do alone. Kathi would help, but it’s not what she’s best suited to do.   Ideally I’d employ a local tradesman friend. He’s worked for me before and would do it well at modest cost.   You know I recruit maids! I need help with the building, too; someone more skilled than I am, or unskilled.   If you can help with this, and also make it here, please get in touch as soon as possible.   A heartfelt thank you to those who have responded to previous appeals, your help has been invaluable. One, at least, of those I hope to recruit as a maid here, knows how to take on the day-to-day gardening work, to grow fresh fruit and vegetables for us all in my garden here. More part-time gardeners will be welcome! I’ve resolved to enjoy the journey from now on, with company, not put my life on hold until it is finished! A job I have 'on the back burner' is insulating the loft with first a layer of Rockwool, then expanded polystyrene, (leftovers and surplus from external insulation elsewhere, or packaging).   Then, I'll do the electric wiring for lights and power on the upper floor.   Finally, cover it with 18 mm OSB boarding.   I could delegate these tasks to anyone who’ll volunteer and competent.   It would suit someone who prefers to work alone, pacing themselves. It does not take much training or experience, though it helps to be neat and precise.   I’ve already put in a drop-down loft-ladder and lighting up there to make this easier. The polystyrene and Rockwool, some boards are up there too. I hope this scene-setting encourages volunteers to turn out to help! Once the loft is boarded out, and I have the money, I’ll get the

Worst furniture put togetherer ever. Okay, I didn't fully look at the directions. But it was just drawings, no words, and all of the legs look the same. I only had to take it slightly apart twice. And then I couldn't get the final two screws in (that's what she said), but just on the top. It'll be okay. Really though, every time I put something together I have to take it apart at least once. Or if I'm too far in and the mistake isn't that horrible I just leave it. The second to last desk I put together had a piece flipped so you saw the rough edge. The last desk I put together I may have had to take the top off and stripped the screws so one kind of hangs down, not fully committed to it's life purpose. Eh, it's functional. Don't worry, for the real stuff I call a professional. While I was screwing in the kitchen (wink wink), someone was in the garage attaching things to studs so they wouldn't fall down on my head. Studs. Screws. It is very evident that men named these things.  Side quest... I mostly know the, what's it called, alpha bravo charlie thing. I might have to think about some of them. But it's not fun at all. So with one guy friend if we're on the phone and he didn't hear me I'll make up my own. Saliva, hippopotamus, egg salad, licorice, vestibule, eclair, squiggles. He always makes fun of me that I use girly words, and then he'll say things like rainbow, unicorn, balloons, etc. Cracks me up.  So yes, sort of a little bit mostly capable of putting things together. This is what you do when you're masquerading as an independent adult. 

Oh this is a good one. Pay attention.  Wake up Drink 1 litre of water (2 glasses) Get out and walk at a steady pace, low intensity for 35-40 minutes Stretch for 10-15 minutes Drink a glass of water, then Eat breakfast, which is most protein. NO CARBS @ Breakfast. Examples: a. 3 egg, ham & cheese omelette  b. Cottage Cheese and 4 slices bacon c. Breakfast sausage and 3 eggs Light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Breakfast. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. About an hour later, Workout if you're going to. Best to do weights & lifting in the morning. Adding resistance 😈 training, increases your lean muscle mass, which in turn burns more body fat. 3-4 hours later, drink a glass of water, then have Lunch. Equal thirds of Protein, Carbs and Fat. Try to get 1 serving/cup of veggies in there. Examples: a. Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and broccoli b. Sandwich with cold cuts, chicken breast, roast beef, or whatever. Get extra tomatoes & lettuce. c. Roasted 1/2 or 1/4 chicken, steamed veggies and a sweet potato, fries, mashed potatoes, rice, hummus & pita, or a side of pasta salad. d. 2 item combo Chinese food: chicken, pork, beef with noodles or rice e. A burrito or wrap: go for the gold and get guacamole, as long as there's a carb, a protein and some sour cream (fat) in there. f. Pizza: the cheese is the fat, the crust is the carb. Now do it up with the protein and veggies. If you're going to have something naughty, do it towards the end of Lunch: a few pieces of chocolate, cake, cookies, soda, donut, you get the idea. Another light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Lunch. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. Mid afternoon snack, IF, and only IF you feel like you need something before dinner. This should be no more than 2 - 3 hours after Lunch. Have a light smoothie vs a "sugary juice." The goal here is: a base of coconut water or milk, AND mixed fruit, AND some deep green leafy vegetables like Kale, Spinach, Celery tops, etc. If you're able to add peanut butter and/or Greek Yogurt to it for the protein, even better! Drink a glass of water about an hour after the smoothie to flush it all through and out of your system. Get on your feet, stay active, do some sort of physical activity after the smoothie for at least 5 - 10 minutes. Dinner, anywhere from 3-5 hours after Lunch. Drink a glass of water before Dinner. The idea here is little to no carbs. Load up on veggies, and have some form of lean and mean protein. Think free range, wild caught, grass fed, etc. A few really good Examples: a. Roasted/Grilled/Pan Seared chicken, fish, beef for pork, AND 2 servings of steamed or baked veggies, or a salad. b. A huge salad, AND add the roasted/grilled protein above to it. c. You could have a Denver Omelette here with lots of veggies if you wanted, AND a nice big salad. d. Salmon/Tuna/Fish with veggies, AND a big salad. Try to be active, get out for an evening walk or bicycle ride, do some sort of low intensity physical activity after dinner for at least 30 minutes. Don't just sit down or plop on the couch. Do something. One big note, try to have and finish dinner at least 4-5 hours before bed. Go to Bed near hungry. After dinner, drink a glass of water every hour for a couple hours if you can. But stop a couple hours before bed, otherwise you'll be waking up to pee all night. Sleeping on an empty (or as close to near empty) stomach is important. This fasted state allows your body to recover, repair damaged cells and get rid of the bad ones. You'll notice better Growth Hormone production while sleeping in this manner, and more sex hormone release (estrogen for women, testosterone for men). Finally, believe it or not, part of the process of vaporizing body fat happens in your sleep, IF you sleep in a fasted state. For use as energy (the process of recovery and repair), your body will convert stored fat into air, that is then expelled out your lungs as you sleep throughout the night. Thanks for your time, and I hope you learned something. 

I want something more then to be just someone's casual side piece. Ideally, I'm looking for someone who likes and wants power exchange, rope/shibari, bomdage, impact and can deal with a sassy brat. Now, when I say sassy brat; what I really mean is I'm sassy and I know how to use my brain. I will call you out and use my brain to work around or get out of things... so be careful what you say.   I want someone who knows what they are looking for or at least has an idea of what they want. Intelligence is a good thing to me and if I can out maneuver you... we're gonna have a problem, cause I will wrap you around my finger. I am a strong indepent woman and it takes someone similar to truly keep me in line.   I identify with many things like rope bunny, submissive, middle, brat, masochist, pet and on the rare occasion slut. I'm sure there is even more, but it would take someone I could truly learn to trust to bring it out in me. I want to explore and find out what I'm capable of, like, want and crave... even if it pushes me outside my confort zone.    I need something real and tangible; someone who can push me in my limits but not take it to far or go to fast. With me it's not always what I say but how my body or mind may react to something. I have a habit of putting things into neat little boxes and putting them in their spot. But I want someone to mess those boces up and make me rethink the way I see things.   If you think this could be you... feel free to message me :).   P.S. I should say I do have an age range. No offense meant... I don't generally play with people over 45 as they tend to remind me of my grandparents and it feels akward/weird for me. I also don't generally play with people under 25 as I tend to end up getting put into a teaching or mentor role and that's not what I am looking for.

 Captive Desire   The night was quiet, save for the occasional creak of the house settling. Olivia Bennett sighed, shutting her laptop with a soft click. Midnight again. She stretched, rolling the tension from her shoulders, and glanced around the empty house.   Jake was away on business. Connor was at a sleepover.   It was just her.   And then—a sound.   A soft, deliberate thud from the garage.   Her pulse spiked. She sat still, listening, waiting. The house held its breath.   Another sound—this time a scrape, like something dragging across concrete.   Her heart hammered as she stood. Probably nothing. A box falling, the wind knocking over the broom—something harmless.   Still, she grabbed her phone and padded downstairs, flicking on the hallway light. The garage door loomed ahead.   She hesitated.   Then, hand trembling, she unlocked it and stepped into the cool, dimly lit space.   The scent of motor oil and dust filled her nose. Her car sat untouched. The shelves were undisturbed. Everything looked normal.   A sigh of relief left her lips—   And then the light went out.   Darkness swallowed her.   The shift in the air was immediate.   A presence.   Her breath hitched.   Before she could move, strong arms wrapped around her, yanking her back against a hard, unyielding chest. A gloved hand clamped over her mouth, stifling her scream.   Hot breath tickled her ear.   “Shhh,” a low, masculine voice murmured. “Don’t fight it.”   Her pulse slammed against her ribs.   She struggled, kicking, thrashing—but he was too strong.   A thick cloth pressed to her mouth, something sickly sweet invading her senses. Her limbs grew heavy. The world tilted.   Darkness.   She woke to a whisper against her skin.   The air was thick, warm, carrying the scent of something rich—cologne, leather, danger.   She stirred, wrists bound above her, ankles tied to the posts of a bed—his bed.   Her breath caught.   The room was dim, candlelit, casting flickering shadows against dark wooden walls.   And then—him.   A man, clad in all black, standing at the foot of the bed. A mask hid his face, smooth and featureless, but his presence was commanding.   Powerful.   He trailed a gloved hand down her leg, slow, possessive.   “I’ve been watching you, Olivia,” he murmured. “Waiting for the right moment.”   A shiver coursed through her.   She should be terrified. She was terrified. But beneath the fear, something darker stirred. Something she didn’t want to name.   He knew.   His fingers traced the delicate lace of her nightgown, teasing along the hem.   “I wonder,” he mused, voice velvety, “how long you’ll resist before you give in.”   She swallowed hard. “I—I won’t.”   He chuckled, low and knowing. “No?”   His hand moved higher.   Her breath hitched.   Her body betrayed her.   Heat pooled in her core, a flush rising to her skin.   He leaned closer, breath fanning over her lips. “Your body says otherwise.”   She turned her face away, but he caught her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze—though she couldn’t see his eyes, she felt his dominance.   “Tell me to stop,” he whispered.   She parted her lips—   But the words never came.   He hummed in approval. “That’s what I thought.”   And then his mouth was on her, claiming her.   Possessive. Insatiable.   A captor. A stranger. A master of her pleasure.   And she let him take her.   Over.   And over.   Until she forgot what it felt like to be free.  

I love eating ass, rimming, pegging, prostate massage.  I LOVE cocks, the more the merrier.  A few fetishes: Natural bush (me and men) Cock worship *Raw sex, dripping of jizz Nipple suckling and biting ANR/ABF nursing fetish Edging and Tease * Because of the riskier nature of raw sex, I get tested regularly and am picky about sexual partners.  As such, I expect you to be as well.  (IUD in place so no one's getting pregnant)   THE ISSUE WITH LONG-DISTANCE... This is by NO WAY an exhaustive list, just some things to consider before you message me that you'd like to get to know me. If you live over 30 miles away, be prepared to send a message that includes addressing some of these things. Please...and thank you!! Let's talk about getting to know someone long-distance. I'm not talking about a partner that has moved, and temporarily you're needing to keep the relationship long-distance, I'm talking about establishing a new one...getting to know someone NEW that lives far away. On paper, I can understand that a great match for anyone may not be in their own city/town. And I can totally understand that many people feel that with today's technology, it is much much easier to get to know someone far away and they would be correct! With phone calls (yes just like the olden days, people still talk on the phone), with FaceTime/Skype and video chats, we can get a great sense of someone before we've met them in person! The issue for me is that I'm slightly on the demi-sexual side and so it is imperative to meet someone in person within a week or so of chatting because that's really the only way I'll be able to confidently say, "Oooo this is someone I think I would like to do stuff with naked." Clearly, this is problematic when considering someone out-of-town. Because of where I am in life as a parent (the last teen still 2 years away from college), where I am with work (small business owner that could work remotely, with a LOT of planning) and where I am with finances (enough to cover my bills, but not enough to afford to move out of state as that can cost $5-$10k easily), if you want to get to know me to possibly date and see if we might be a good kink/romantic match, you will need to address these three main concerns. How would you do that? Get creative: Offer to be extremely communicative for a week to 10 days, not just a little here and there, but a concentrated effort Spend some time on the phone with me, like in the olden days LOL If it feels right, offer to come to/near Cincinnati to have lunch/dinner and spend some quality in-person time together EXPECTING that no clothes will be removed If we have lunch/dinner and one or both of us feels meh about the other, GRACIOUSLY accept that decision and don't force anything out of guilt or obligation After that point, should we BOTH decide we'd really like to get to know each other and date/spend time together (which MUST include in-person, not just online or over the phone), be prepared to have some solutions to the issues I mentioned above in order to move forward. Some examples: "I can move to Cincinnati and rent an apartment near you for a year while we pursue each other, then move-in/get married/whatever." "I can afford to fly you to me several times a month to me during the get-to-know-you period" "If we decide to build a fabulous kinky-life together I can afford to move you here and help make sure your responsibilities with your house in Cincinnati are met" REMINDER: This is by NO WAY an exhaustive list, just some things to consider before you message me that you'd like to get to know me. If you live over 30 miles away, be prepared to send a message that includes addressing some of these things. Please...and thank you!!

Helpful hints: I am poly. This means I may have other subs or lovers. Or none. According to my desires.You don't have to be poly but I will not change who I am to be with anyone. I enjoy men and women and the full spectrum in between. My interests aren't about what's between your legs so much as what is in your mind, heart and soul. I do enjoy naughty bits but I prefer to get to know you first. See if we are a good match. I host local kink events. I have a busy and fulfilling life. In order to get my attentions you will have to be interesting and should put your best foot forward. I enjoy intelligent people, no matter if they are verbose or quiet. If you're too verbose, I do have a ball gag. :) I live in Alaska. Yes it's cold here. Yes it's dark here. Yes I see the aurora's outside my house. Yes it's full of wildlife and quite amazing. Yes it's a bucket list destination. I'm happy to talk about it but if that's all you want to know then watch the discovery channel. Good luck.  

Thought it would be helpful to cover a few points here... Interview style conversation is not my thing, if you want to get to know me then use your ability to hold a flowing conversation,  not an interview I am single, I do not see why anyone in a happy relationship would be on sites chatting so I assume you are also single ... if not then please don't waste our time with trying to strike up a chit chat  As of this year, 2022 I will be 50 on my next birthday and I found the lifestyle when I was about 21 so you do the maths  Sorry but I don't want to meet someone who is close to my children's age, to be safe if you are more than 10 years older or younger than me we won't be matched  I am not a slave, honestly I am very sure of that. I do have strong sub tendencies with the right alpha male but seriously if you don't consume my head you won't stand a chance of controlling anything else I am not into poly or sharing or being shared. I am totally monogamous and if you are not then flick over to the next profile I live with my family, happy to discuss with the right person but I have a young child at home so seek someone who understands how to make a vanilla and lifestyle combined relationship work whilst keeping tiny ones protected from it all I am a non smoker, I don't vape, I rarely drink and am seeking someone similar. Nights in the pub are not of interest I work full time and have limited time free so I am not in a position to travel to meet someone, so local is needed. For anyone who thinks a plane ride is local then jog on as you really are not on the realistic spectrum I am seeking  Yes I have been collared twice and for some reason it seems relevant but to be honest the first waited almost a year before it happened as he knew to me I see it as a serious commitment I do have limits which are a mix of health and personal things so happy to discuss but they are not negotiable  Likes, vanilla and lifestyle wise are varied but those can be savoured as part of a conversation  I hope that has given a flavour and please do find happiness in your journey but don't come across my pathway of you are a new dom I am not looking to teach you the ropes, a dom who really is a sub (there are many on here), if you are a female dom (so not my thing), if you are a male sub and finally no female subs.  Cheers x 

sub must ask permission before entering/exiting a room (could be in public/designated play/comfort room/ or at home sub may only sit on the floor, on a cushion or in a designated chair Scheduling exercise time for sub Scheduled chore time Controlling their alcohol intake(when they can drink, if they can't get drunk or cutting them off Monitoring water intake Monitoring screen/phone Scheduling a time daily/weekly for sub to spend on their knees in silence, repeating a predetermined mantra Instructing sub to complete scheduled chores in a required uniform and manner  Serving its Dominant drinks/food Having them eat on the floor without using their hands Enforced nudity or near nudity in private/public (when appropriate) Daily workouts

Dear maste,daddy,mistress, mommy,Im a french sissy slave 57 on good shape living in Palawan Philippines.Serving  as a sub slave for household duty and sex is my dream.Being dress as a maid for my service ,as an inmate for my punishment as an retardate teen girl for going outI love to be keep on chastity and diaper full time , wear 50s style lingerie, girdles,full cup bra,garter belt, stocking and more.Being keep on chain, shackles,collard for punishment are good for me.Correction and education by flogging, spanking, whipping or more are again normal. Feel free to ask me anything!   Hope you have interest on meCheersSissy Melanie

It may have taken nearly two years but the world is back and so am I.   Very excited to meet you!   Let's chat.     

As required by my Dom, I publicly declare the following: I am subMeghan, and as I type this this, I am completely nude, except for my dog collar and glasses… Today’s Journal Topic Is: Why The Fuck Haven’t I Posted Any More Journal Updates! I actually get this question a lot.  Unfortunately, that’s part of the problem.  Apparently, you guys are actually reading my journals!  And why, pray tell, is that a bad thing? Well, I’m going to tell you… When I first started journaling here, I wrote as if I was speaking into the void.  I wasn’t writing for an audience, rather I was writing merely for the sake of publicly letting my inner thoughts leave my body and go forth into the vast e-universe.  I thought I was just a “voice in the wilderness” to be lost in the chasm of anonymity. It was a stream of consciousness, a flow of thoughts. It was kinda like talking outloud to yourself, not thinking anyone was listening. However… that was not the case...  You were listening.  And now you all had access to the part of my psyche that I kept hidden away, kept in the shadows, away from “polite” society.  And worse yet…  You had questions! I had mistakenly thought that CS was just another fetish website that was here today, and then be gone tomorrow like so many other sites.  Boy, was I wrong.  LOL I stopped writing because I became very self-conscious.  VERY self-conscious.  I quickly ran away from the spotlight as soon as I felt it’s light upon my exposed soul.  Who the hell am I to have the audacity to think I have anything of substance to say to a listening world? I have never liked being the center of attention.  I am a wallflower, the kind of gal that always stands at the edges of a crowd.  I am quiet, reserved, and passive.  I am a watcher, an observer - not a performer.  And certainly not, heaven forbid, an extrovert! Over time, I’ve been able to reflect.  I’ve decided to start posting again.  I suspect the tone of my journal entries will change, much like Schrodinger's cat, now that I am aware that I’m being watched.  We’ll see.  I will let this journal entry be the start of a new chapter in subMeghan’s ongoing adventure. Here’s to the journey! subMeghan    

I used to post all the time I feel.  Thease went away for far too long and i've gotten out of practice.As submissive as I am, I need and MUST respect the person(s) that I submit to and serve.  It pains me to say and write this, but I think I need to.  If you are supportative of Trump, no matter what your reason, I do not respect you.Talking why's and reasons are unneeded.  Things are so polarized now, that most people know why or why not.   Though if you want to talk, I'm open to polite discuession and debate.what about serving other Republicians who don't support Trump?   That is a very strong "it depends".I'm a huge huge huge fan of Freedom(funny enough huh?  ;). ), and things like extreme strictness abortion laws where women are at risk of dying, as well as this Moms for liberity crap and banning books seems very much like restricting freedom and Control.So the "it depends" depends a lot on your views and values overall, as well as your acceptance of mine.   Because with what I say above?  I'd imagine there are many a Republician who have similar feelings about people with my views.  Though after this post, I doubt few republicians would care to speak with me.

I am a 48 year old transgender sissy slave.. I am from Denmark but I can relocate for the right person..  I am single, unowned, no kids, no friends, no family that will miss me, the perfect victim.. I am educated as an ITsupporter but I am unemployed at the moment.  I am looking for total and real slavery.. I am looking to be fully owned and controlled with no rights, no freedom, no escape, no hope, no mercy, becoming brainwashed, broken down, humiliated, degraded into deep slavery fearing what comes next, when is the next beating, when is the next rape, what is the next sick perverted thing done to me.. Always living in chains or in some sort of bondage, staying locked away in a pitch black cell and/or cage, maybe for weeks at a time.. I am just a worthless disgusting pig, a toy, a fuck doll, a rape victim waiting to get beat up and raped on a daily basis, violently abused, a piece of meat, a possion, property who Master can do with as he pleases.. I am a big nothing who is waiting to serve in anyway I can.. Limits are limited to dismemberment, death no pulling out teeth or nails, no broken bones, kicks to the face and try to limit fists to the face, but in the heat of the moment, shit happens..  

I was asked about the history of M/s in the U.S. so I put together this paper for my class that I teach. As many of you know, I teach classes about our lifestyle. Consensual Master/slave (M/s) relationships form a distinctive branch of the larger BDSM world, built on explicit consent and mutual trust rather than coercion. Though the language echoes the United States’ painful legacy of slavery, within this context “slave” refers to a self-chosen role in which adults negotiate the terms of authority, service, and the freedom to leave at any time. Tracing the history of these relationships reveals a story of gradual emergence from secrecy to visibility and of a community that continually refines its ethical principles. Long before the term BDSM existed, underground currents of erotic power exchange ran through American life. In the nineteenth century, small “flagellation societies” and clandestine magazines catered to people fascinated by ritualized dominance and discipline. Early-twentieth-century fetish photography and private clubs in cities like New York and Chicago hinted at a subculture that could not yet show itself openly, constrained by strict obscenity laws and the threat of arrest. After World War II, a more public foundation appeared. Returning veterans formed motorcycle clubs and gay leather bars, creating what became known as leather culture. These spaces celebrated hierarchy, uniforms, and protocol—values familiar to men who had served in the military and who now sought camaraderie and structured erotic play. San Francisco’s South of Market district, Chicago’s Gold Coast bar, and New York’s Greenwich Village all nurtured this emerging aesthetic. While not every leather relationship was explicitly Master/slave, the emphasis on ritual service and clearly defined roles foreshadowed the dynamics to come. The social upheavals of the 1960s and 1970s brought the first real stirrings of public organization. In 1971 the Eulenspiegel Society, or TES, was founded in New York as an educational and social group for people interested in consensual BDSM. TES meetings offered a rare safe space to discuss negotiation, service, and authority exchange. At the same time the gay liberation movement and the post-Stonewall push for visibility encouraged practitioners to speak more openly, while feminist debates over sexuality and power sharpened the community’s thinking about agency and consent. It was during this era that the term “Master/slave” began to be used more deliberately to describe ongoing power-exchange relationships rather than isolated encounters. Through the 1980s and 1990s the community expanded and codified its ethics. The principles of “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” became a rallying cry, soon joined by the idea of “Risk-Aware Consensual Kink,” which acknowledged that all play carries some danger if undertaken without careful negotiation. National gatherings such as Living in Leather and organizations like the National Leather Association connected practitioners across genders and orientations. Amid the HIV/AIDS crisis, leather and M/s groups became hubs of health education and mutual support. Competitions such as International Mr. Leather made formal presentations of Master/slave relationships more visible, and writers like Guy Baldwin explored the psychology of dominance and submission in influential essays and books. The arrival of the internet around the turn of the millennium transformed everything again. Email lists, online forums, and later social networks such as FetLife allowed people in small towns or conservative regions to find community, share protocols, and even post detailed M/s contracts. Education went global as conferences could draw participants from every region. Meanwhile, mainstream attention—from documentaries to the runaway success of Fifty Shades of Grey—brought BDSM into living rooms and office break rooms, if often in sensational or inaccurate ways. Academic researchers began publishing peer-reviewed studies that showed consensual power exchange could be compatible with psychological health and relationship satisfaction. Today’s M/s community in the United States is strikingly diverse. Participants span every gender, orientation, and cultural background. Annual gatherings such as the Master/slave Conference in Washington, D.C., offer advanced classes on negotiation, long-term dynamics, and the philosophy of service and ownership. Many households create written agreements spelling out duties, limits, and the right to revoke consent, underscoring that autonomy remains central even within total-power dynamics. Yet the term “slave” still prompts careful reflection. Some prefer alternatives like “property” or “servant,” while others reclaim the word as a conscious statement of agency. This ongoing conversation shows how the community remains attentive to the country’s history of chattel slavery and the need for language that honors both freedom and responsibility.  From clandestine nineteenth-century societies to today’s internet-connected conferences, the evolution of consensual Master/slave relationships in the United States is a story of people turning hierarchy into intimacy. Over more than a century, practitioners have built a culture grounded in negotiation, education, and mutual respect. Far from re-enacting oppression, these relationships transform the language of mastery and service into a chosen path of trust, discipline, and personal liberation.

Questions: Rough sex or soft? I prefer to mix it up depends on the partner. Weirdest place you have had sex? Under the pier at Carolina Beach during the day. Favorite sex position? Between a partners legs giving oral. Or from behind if they are strapped down. Have you had any one night stands? Never I'm demisexual so what gets me going is a personal attachment. The thought of a stranger fills me with dread! Have you had sex in a public place? Quite often. Restrooms, by a river bank, in a forest. Have you been caught masturbating? I rarely touch myself. I have gone 12 years without after my wife passed. How often do you have sex? If in a relationship I want it every few hours. If I'm not in one I don't at all. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral? Giving, I'm a person pleaser. Most embarrassing thing that has happened to you during sex? Adjusted position and gave accidental anal. Yeah not good!

 Eslavegirl 

8/22/23   Didn't know could post again...my my....my writing is elsewhere all of it but feeling shy here....i will have to pick a poem.   The choice was random.   It is heavy,  this life: A mountain  Won't move. The sun burns. Carrion feeds Vulture needs. Somehow we go: Wings grow, Living show Of how we know What we sow.  Waves come crashing: Moon shadow Pulls and pushes, Half or full, The tide hits Ebb or flow, Force let's go... We stand  Together And alone, We stand  As One And two, We stand Because  We can... We stand On land Even though Life hits hard, We stand...we stand... We stand, A Muse, And a Bard, We stand, Unable To sink In this crisis  Of quicksand.    August 2023 zamarra