AKRONOHIOMAN 

2023-02-21 - Guy read a story and wants a replay USING HIM Read more stories at www.SirKel.top    I had been chatting with a new guy on FetLife. We're going to call him Pennsylvania Redstripe. He read one of my stories at my website www.SirKel.top titled "Forced to be my fagot" and said he wanted the same experience.   He had Dominatrix experience but I don't think he had ever had a Male Dom control him. I'm pretty certain he had sucked cock before but only while being used as a cuckold. After chatting online and then texting for a week or two we finally set up a meeting.   Driving all the way to Kent, Ohio from Pennsylvania was slightly over a 1 hour trip for him. But he arrived just a few minutes early, I was impressed he scheduled it so perfectly with his long drive.   As he had read in many of my other stories, when he first came in he stood there and waited for my first command. Which of course was, "strip."   He quickly stripped and put all of his clothing on the chair where he was directed to place them. Then he just stood there for a moment as I looked him over.   I walked to him and put velcro restraints on his wrists. These are very nice velcro restraints that are normally used for ankles when connected to some form of bungee cord for exercise. They have D shaped rings on them. I had a cl and was going to cl his wrists behind his back, but I could clearly see he was extremely nervous. So I decided to wait.   He had warned me of bad knees, so I had a couple couch pillows on the floor in front of the couch. I told him to get on his knees, on the couch pillows, facing the couch.   He walked to the couch and dropped to his knees. I came up behind him and slipped a leather hood over his head. This was exactly like the story that he had read and wanted to be part of. I lined up the eye holes and the mouth hole and began tightening the leather Hood from behind. It's laced up the back.   Obviously I started with the laces at the top, pulling and tugging, tightening them as I worked my way down to the base of the back of his neck. I continued to tighten, checking most importantly that the mouth hole was properly centered. Once it was completely tightened I wound up the extra cord and tucked it under the neck of the leather mask.   I slipped a blindfold over the mask covering his eyes. I slid around in front of him and sat back on the couch. This was very similar to the story he read, and I'm sure his mind was racing, not knowing exactly what was going on in front of him but hearing my motion and movement directly in front of him now.   With both hands I grabbed the sides of the leather mask and started pulling him forward and down toward my cock. I wasn't completely hard, but I was hard enough for him to get the first taste of my cock as I shoved his mouth down.   He was startled at first, I think I reached in with my fingers and pried his mouth open a bit wider and then shoved him further down on my cock. There are no ear holes in the leather Hood, so quite loudly I barked out the command, "suck my cock fagot, that's what you're here for, get to it."   He started sucking on my cock and it began to grow quickly. Soon his mouth was filled with my cock. He started to cough and sputter a bit, so I gave him just a second to catch his breath, then grab the top of his head and forced him all the way down to my balls.   Eventually we got into a nice rhythm. He was still slightly reluctant, but his body language was telling me he was starting to relax. His body wasn't quite as stiff as it was, he was getting used to being a cocksucker. My cocksucking fag.   I continued to berate him verbally, forcing him deep onto my cock, occasionally giving him a chance to catch his breath. At one point I pulled my cock out and pushed him onto my balls, without being told he knew to lick and clean my balls and taint.   I had planned to eventually put him flat on the floor face up and sit on his face making him eat my ass. From our conversations he was looking forward to it. But as luck would have it I either had a nasty pimple or the beginning of a boil, and definitely did not want to subject anyone, even him, to that.   He was actually getting to be a pretty good cocksucker. I had to pull him off my cock a couple times. Watching his leather clad head bounce up and down on my cock was extremely hot to watch.   I definitely didn't want to shoot my load yet so I told him we were going to head upstairs. I think by this time the eye mask had slipped off so I didn't bother putting it back so he could follow me up the steps to the bedroom.   When we got upstairs I directed him to The far side,

  Extremely few Mistresses/Masters have actually the capability; the discipline, the economic and mental ability to keep a slave. The problem is that many Dominants takes Ownership easy, proclaiming themselves Mistress-Masters and disregard the gravity of these facts due to lack of experience and commitment.   Most who think they want slavery are really looking for D/s     As you can now better understand: Dominance and Submission, or D/s, is not equal to "slavery".       To be submissive is more close to what 99% of those who claim they want to be a "slave", really wants. A submissive has a degree (no matter how tiny) of influence over the relationship. A submissive retains (no matter how few or how ineffectual) rights and liberties; while a Dominant might be able to assuage some of the power a submissive retains, the submissive does, in fact, retain the real power.   A real slave has no such power whatsoever. In fact, a slave has nothing at all, only what their owner grants them and that can be taken away without warning. A slave has only such “rights”, “liberties” and “influence” that their owner may, or may not, allow them.     An owner can give the world to their slave, but, in a heartbeat, an owner can take everything back from a slave leaving them, truly, with nothing at all.   A slave has no claim to any power whatsoever. A slave has no entitlement to influence anything.   A slave no longer has any claims to natural civil rights or liberties. Whatever a slave might have has been given to them by their owner, and even then it is an illusion as, in reality, the owner owns the slave – therefore the owner owns everything the slave appears to own.   A slave does not have possessions – a slave is a possession. Some people say that, in a D/s relationship, the submissive holds the real power; that a dominant "needs" a submissive, needs their “gift” of submission. That is not the case with a slave.       A submissive deserves respect; respect as a lover, respect as a person, respect as a partner. A submissive maintains the prerogative to choose the level to which they submit; and these levels may vary throughout the relationship. In a D/s relationship, the submissive really controls every aspect of the relationship in a passive manner.   In slavery there exists no “topping from the bottom”. In slavery owner controls absolutely everything with unchangeable power and real authority. (If you had the discipline and invested the time to get that far with your reading, kindly prove Me this by writing "total devotion" with capitals in your message to Me).     Generally estimating, most Dominants could not handle the force and power of the authority of an owner, and most "submissive" would vehemently defy the idea of absolute,total and real ownership. Which is perfectly fine, and expected.   So: now that I have exhaustively attempted to depict the definition of real slavery, and if you still think you are, or want to become a ‘real’ slave, or if you believe you are ready to, and capable of, being a slave or owning your own slave(s), you may pursue with your plans.   This is the basic philosophy of BDSM slavery.   If you don’t share it that is, of course, your prerogative.   And if you, finally, are one of the very few genuine slaves, remember:   THINK CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU COMMIT BECAUSE IT WILL BE YOUR LAST ACT OF FREE WILL. BE WISE, CHOOSE RIGHT.          

The only people I judge are judgmental people themselves. OK, and people who've asked me to judge them. But that totally muddies the nice, clean quote. ;) I have kicked around this scene of ours for long enough that I remember when YKINMKBIOK was plain survival. Before the web got into every home, if you knew a few people in your area, who were into kink, you clung to them. It didn't matter that I was into the mental side of things, into D/s, while one of them was into sploshing, another into male masochism and the third was into vinyl. That there were three others who were just as weird as me was AMAZING. The huge growth of the scene, that we worked hard for, has been a huge blessing. But it's also given us so many others, that we can find so easily, it's easy to slip into judging others because, well, we'll have plenty of friends left. Don't like the way they do rope? Let's label them as wrong or dangerous. Squick over diapers? Let's call them freaks and borderline pedophiles. Don't like the way they do heavy mental play? Clearly abusers! And look how much better it makes our insecure selves feel about ourselves that we've managed to tear down others! That's not me. I can't do it. I'm not into Daddy/little. I'm not into diapers. Fifty Shades isn't my BDSM ideal. Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of O, or Gor, either. But I love that others are! I love that you freaks and perverts have  so much passion for the things you love. I think it's amazing, the really strong relationships you build around your interests. I am so deeply, deeply, happy that you can find peace in who you are. Your Kink Is Not My Kink But It's OK. It's more than OK. Not for me, but I love that it works for you and good luck to you!

Why sub men need to be feminist allies I firmly believe that any submissive man must, obviously, be a feminist. Feminism by definition is the belief that women are human beings with the same rights as any human being. (The idea that feminism is about female supremacy is propaganda created by misogynists to try to argue against women having any rights at all.) That said, submissives routinely insist that women are superior, and FemDom porn is some of the most popular BDSM porn out there. I would hope that to believe that women are superior would require that men first believe that they are equal. One of the biggest complaints I hear from subs is that there just aren't enough Dominant women in the world to go around. There's a very good reason for that. In the book I'm currently writing, I discuss how girls are raised radically different than boys. From our earliest experience, any hint of assertiveness is usually squashed as "bossy" or "aggressive" or "unfeminine" and then later as "bitchy." The terms a "good girl" is defined by are usually submissive, demure words, urging us to be quiet, polite, deferring to the pleasure of adults in general and males specifically. Blanche Black paints a very good picture of this in her Feminism 101 article, and the MetaFilter discussion "Where's My Cut" is literally thousands of women giving examples of how they were crammed into the role of caregiver with strong social, economic and even physical consequences for ing or questioning it. We are programmed from birth to be doormats, and are told we are genetically predisposed to be happy about it. To go from that upbringing to being an assertive adult is a massive undertaking. I know a majority of the women in my life never even realize that they are following roles and rules they never agreed to. It usually takes a huge life event to force that awareness on us, and then years of hard work re-creating our understanding of communication and relationships to learn to stop playing that part and instead to stand up and assert ourselves. To stop allowing others to demand and take and expect, etc, and instead start working toward taking care of ourselves first, demanding equal effort from our partners, being willing to be alone rather than be subjugated. To move into the confidence and self-reliance necessary to dominate ... that's a new world. I'm not talking about becoming a bitch who uses and abuses and negates the feelings and needs of others to get her way. I'm talking about being able to walk away from what doesn't serve us and require a higher level of interaction from anyone who wants to stay in our presence. I'm talking about being unwilling to tolerate poor behavior, from others, or from ourselves. That requires a sea change. A total re-writing of the base code that made us from our first memories. It almost never happens by accident. It almost never comes without great pain and sacrifice. It's almost always worth it. But it's always an uphill battle that never ends, because nearly the entire world we live in is still trying to tell us that we aren't being feminine, or desirable, or kind, if we aren't giving away whatever it whims to want. We are still being told that we'll be alone, that we are bitches or worse, sometimes it brings violence and poverty and suffering, because this world doesn't want women to be assertive, and it doesn't tolerate them being dominant. If you want to have dominant women, you have to start with allowing them equality. Not special privilege. Just the same privilege men have to think what they want, without being told they are failing as females. The same privilege to act for themselves and not just for others. The same choices and freedoms and safetys to exist without being attacked for it. If you want to have dominant women in the world, you have to be a feminist, and moreover, you have to be an ally. Aggressively so, because until feminist men outnumber and overwhelm the rest, you are going to have to counteract the bullshit message the rest are constantly putting out there telling us to SUBMIT! You, submissive male, must be the active agent that makes the safe space for every woman to express her thoughts and feelings and wants and to act on them without recrimination. You will have to stand up to other men, because they don't hear it when we say it. You will have to call out your friends when they catcall or mansplain or talk over a woman or _(insert male domineering behavior here____) to a woman. I'm not saying that every woman you do this for will become a Dominant Woman. I am saying that almost no women can without it, and if nothing else, you can make the first steps in that direction less of a battle for them. Go forth, and create the world that lets us first become people, equal and unencumbered, and Dominant Women will become ever more common, until almost every submissive male that wants one can find one.

I read another dominant women has been having similar experiences to me. As a dominant women I am being approached by men ALREADY in a relationship with another women, and the women is submissive. Simply because the man wants to encourage a FFM situation.  Completely ignoring the fact I am after MMF. What is scary is the investment these men will make to talk, to get to know me and ask me about my ambitions and ideas and intrigued I have a brain and what they are after is the same FFM.  I spend my day dedicated to my work so I am not bitter about minimal time wasting and have not invested much time other than the odd evening having the page open in the background while watching the BBC but it worries me that some NOT ALL men are just carbon copies of the same idiot 5 minutes before.  I have a new respect for trans women, they were once men with an original unique thought and evolved into a women, there is something ironic about the whole butterfly transformation. Also while I am ranting, can dominant men stop asking if I wear a certin type of shoe.  I own 30 pairs shoes including trainers, I have a lot of lingerie but if you want a women to wear a particular brand or type, I suggest you just make yourself available on a weekend and I will happily spend your money buying the shoes and lingerie you want me to wear and watch your satisfaction that you spent your money on La Perla and Jimmy choos.  FYI if your obsessed about shoes you have a foot fetish!  

Imagine a wedding chapel and the room is filled with men and women we know. You're wearing a handsome Groom suit or wedding dress Then the doors open and you see me. Im in a see through sissy slutty bride outfit with a veil over my face. You can clearly see my fresh nipples are clamped with tiny bells or weights.     Im wearing a see through skirt with my dick locked up in a chastity cage or a cock ring leash. In my pussy is a white dildo to match my attire as I try to walk down the lane to you.   Once we meet you take off my veil to see my dressed up face.    The pastor asks you if I am taken as your slutty sissy and will torture and pleasure me until you no longer desire me.    The pastor then asks me is I the bride will promise to pleasure my master and be his sissy doll and slut until I am no longer usable and I say I do.   Once its done we exchange rings. You uncage me and put it on my small cock. While I put your ring in my mouth and use my skills to put it on your cock.    The pastor then announces is master and slut. Then says the slut may now suck his masters cock. I then suck it until you pop in my mouth and I swallow it in pleasure.   You then take me by force, remove the dildo from my pussy and fuck my pussy in front of everyone as they watch it pleasure.   You then let out a big one in my pussy for everyone to see and I open my pussy with your special sauce dripping out as everyone takes photos and I suck your cock in pleasure.   During the reception we dance, eat, drink, engage in sensual games, and you even let the other guests have their way with me if they desire.   Then it ends with the 🎂, but its me with whip cream on all my parts. All the men and ladies take out their cocks and spray me with their cream to help me look better as you enjoy seeing me like this.    Then we end with a group photo with me holding up 2 peace ✌️ signs on my hand, covered from top to bottom with the wedding cake cream, and you doing whatever you want to me.   My ideal wedding as a bride. 👰‍♀ 

My Experience/Play History i have engaged in casual play with 4 mistresses, one session each. Two had no idea what they were doing, and couldn't seem to decide what to do next. Those experiences were deeply unsatisfying. The third apparently had no interest in anything but beating me, which She did with brisk enyed it, but there was nothing else. No training, no rules, no laying the groundwork, no teasing, no nothing. The last was skilled, had a very commanding presence, and went about Her work with energy and direction. Even though it was a brief session, it was quite thrilling. Unfortunately, however, She was all but impossible to communicate with regarding expectations and scheduling and suchlike, and after two weeks of trying to get together again, i gave up. i often regret this. en regret this.   0 loves

In my latest writing called, The Fitting Room... my characters meets a younger, submissive woman named Beth. I am looking for my own Beth... like the woman I imagined in my writing. if you are intrigued ... message me :) ======== The Fitting Room: Part 1 | Beth .... (erotica) We met in the fitting room of a local boutique. I had just tried on my new dress and came out to stand in front of the large 3-piece mirror. It was one of those faux wrap around dresses and I really liked the pattern and material. I had my hair clipped up and wanted to see what it would look like with my hair down. I took the clip out and shook my hair.. fluffed it a bit with my fingers, and stared. Turned... even lifted my breasts a little, as if to say... 'Get up there girls.. knockers up'. As I was standing there staring at my reflection.... the door to the fitting room closest to the mirror opened up and a younger woman stepped out. I assumed she wanted to get a look at herself in the mirror so I smiled.. and stepped aside. She stepped ahead of me to stand in front of the mirrors, and like I did.. she turned and looked at her new dress. She was easily 20-25 years younger than me and I thought of where I was in my life at that age. She had long dark hair and the dress accentuated her curves. I found myself wondering what she looked like without the dress on. I had told my Daddy that I was curious about being with another woman. Feeling another woman's breasts... her curves... tracing her bottom lip with my thumb... leaning in for a very full and sensuous kiss. I wondered to myself if this younger woman standing in front of me had ever thought those kinds of thoughts about another woman. I cleared my throat and said, 'That looks really good on you'. I looked her up and down and met her eyes directly. She stared for a moment, and then looked down and blushed. 'Thank you.. but I'm not sure if I should get it.', she said. 'I had ordered it for a party I was going to go to with my girlfriend, but we broke up. When the store called me to say the dress was in, I wasn't sure if I should have told them that I had changed my mind.. or come in and try it on.' She sighed and looked down at the floor, and bit her bottom lip. When she looked up, I could see she was holding back tears. 'Oh goodness', I said. 'It'll be alright... you'll see.' I touched her shoulder to show some comfort, and she smiled a bit -- but she still wore that sadness that only a recent break-up can bring. She was still examining herself in the mirror and asked, 'So... what's the occasion for your new dress?' Well... I smiled rather big and blushed really hard. How was I going to tell this woman that I had bought this dress for a rather special.. and very sexy dining experience? One where.. I was going to be.. the meal. I decided to put my big girl panties on and take a chance. 'I needed to wear something extra special for a dinner that my.... Daddy, is putting together.', I said. I watched her facial expression to see if I could detect if she knew what I was talking about. I was curious if she was in the lifestyle or knew about Daddies and Master's, etc.   She blinked a couple of times and cleared her throat and said, 'Oh.. your Daddy is having a party for you?'.. and her smile said it all. She had a sweet smile, and was biting her bottom lip again. She knew.. and she now knew that I knew, she knew. 'Yes.. He is.', I said. I smiled and stepped around her back and we both looked in the mirror. I came in close to her ear.. still maintaining eye contact with her in the mirror. 'After my Daddy helps me take off this new dress, I will be helped onto a table to lie down so his guests can eat food off of my body... among other things.' She smiled then and said, 'Really?', to which I replied, 'Absolutely', and leaned in a little more. 'Are you a good girl or a dirty little slut?', I asked in almost a whisper. I watched her in the mirror and saw her slightly rub her legs together and reply, almost automatically, 'I'm a dirty little slut, Ma'am.' I could see her flush start to creep from her face, down her neck and travel downward.. and I smiled to myself. I knew right away.. she was a very good girl.. and I was already thinking she would be a very good little slut for me and my Daddy. 'You wouldn't like to come to this party.. would you?', I asked. 'Really? Yes Ma'am, I would really like that.', she stammered. I swear I felt giddy at how sweet she looked right then. 'I'm sure my Daddy will be pleased that I'm bringing a... special guest. He is always very pleased when he knows I have met a good girl who wants to serve and please both of us. ', I said. "You would like to serve and please both of us, correct?' 'Oh Yes Ma'am.. Yes. I would like that!, she said. 'Oh gosh.. where are my manners.. my name is Beth', and she stuck out her hand to shake mine. I smiled and took her hand in mine. Her handshake was strong and firm. I liked it. 'I'm pleased to meet you, Beth. You may call me, Ma'am for now.. maybe Sis in the future', I said. 'Here is my card. You will call me tomorrow but in the meantime, may I call you later tonight?' She gave me her phone number to put in my phone, and her email. 'Yes Ma'am.. I would really like that.', she replied. 'Good girl... we'll talk later then.', I said. With that.. I walked back to my fitting room, stepped in and shut the door behind me. She had no idea how hard my heart was beating and how nervous I was. I opened a new text message and typed.... "Hi Daddy.. you're never going to believe what happened while I was at the boutique picking up my dress for the party...." To be continued.....   Written 07/06/2024 MPH 💜

Masturbation   A book could be, should be, has been? written on the subject. However, in this little piece I am going to address those that masturbate to My writings.    First thing I want those that engage in the practice of jacking off while reading or chatting with Me to know is your behavior is OK with Me. Whack off to your hearts content. Edge yourself.    Some few might even have a cock sucker serve you while you peruse My site. Go for it. Good for you.   Sorry, I have not included female pussy players up to this point. Yes, I know you are out there. Same for you; enjoy.   Here is what I would like you to do. Tell me. I know some are to embarrassed to shy or, maybe, to selfish to share their activity with Me. Get over yourself. Do you really think you are all that much that you cannot share?   Ok, enough shaming. One of the adverse effaspects of your spanking your monkey is when you come and the subspace disappears from your head you just drop any communication you are having with me. Do you think that is fair to me? No. No it is not.   Here is what I would like you to do. Just tell Me of your activity when you begin. What are you afraid of? I am not going to reach through your screen and slap you. (Hum, that is an idea, though.) No, just let me know so when you lose sub space and want to leave just say so. That way, you do not feel like you can not return out of embarrassment or what ever self involved feeling might make you reticent.   Anyway, if you tell me of your forbidden(?) activity we might both enjoy it.   I hope everyone has good sex. Except those poor bastards that become My slave property, but, that is another story.    

To elaborate on my interest/search:  First, no headless profiles or photos of yourself heavily edited or otherwise masked by a photo app, otherwise my first and last impression of you will be that you are a fake or catfisher -- I won't respond.  Sexual encounters are not a priority, in fact most of my fetish play encounters to present have been non-sexual; as anyone who has played before knows 99% of fetish is mental.  A regular relationship with someone who has common interests, particularly with bondage, is ideal for developing intimacy but not essential.  Just play is perfectly fine.  I'm not here for a 'blow and go' so if you're just looking to get off I am not for you. Finally, I've dated or otherwise met a number of different indviduals over the years;  in my opinion life is too short to 'search for the perfect one'; I prefer those like myself who are open minded and grounded that I get along well with to see where it goes over time.    

Cowards?  Dolts?  Flakes?  Predators?  Time wasters?  Inconsistent at best. Its weird to have people request a time for speaking, give you their phone number and then close their account before the appointed time.  Such odd behavior and it certainly gives one pause when engaging here.  Then there are those whom you have spoken with many times, shared video chat, Q & A, moving towards a meeting, only to - never contact you again once you request a meeting. You are not sincere and genuine. Where have all the cowboys gone - the one with social graces, honor, integrity?  There are a few here of course and they are greatly appreciated but the rest ...need relationship therapy. Thank GOD there are a few men here who are moving in the right direction!  I fear I would lose all hope if not for their persistence and welcome demeanors.

Attitude matters! I will be clear here. If I choose you and you are not fit, healthy and eat healthy per My desires.  I will put you on a strict diet and exercise program.  I don't care what you weighed in high school or your younger years.  That is not what you look like today.  Who you are today,  what you look like today is all I will see, and matters to Me! Strip naked,  take a long look in the mirror from every angle,  take photos of yourself.  Are you proud of your appearance? Or do you need to put in the work? I am on a journey to better fitness and appearance.  If you are not, or have no ambition to, we will not match up. you don't have to be perfect right now, although that is desirable.   What you do need is to be putting in the work and working on the goal of better health,  healthy eating/diet, and becoming physically fit.  Eliminating substances from your consumption that is not healthy.  Watch 'Biggest Looser', maybe it will inspire you. Its free to watch on freevee app  

Master's WritingsSadomasochistic Play and the Importance of ConnectionIt is too easy when participating in Sadomasochistic play of any kind, be it impact, pain play or any other of the associated fetishes, for the experience to become emotionally and even physically disconnected between partners - the Sadist becoming consumed by their connection to their tool (whip, cane, etc), the precision of their strikes, the technique used, and the masochist becoming lost in the enormity of the sensation, the loss of physical control as the pain increases and the anticipation of the next strike. As both become lost in their own world within the scene, it is easy to experience a loss of connection between them as the scene progresses.I find that maintaining or even working to build greater connection during such play is one of the most important things I can do as a Sadist and a Dominant. For me as a Sadist, who is also a Dominant and a Daddy, I find that there exists a uniquely rich opportunity to be a caring and connected Sadist, through physical contact, the use of voice and deliberate and careful observation that goes beyond the safety aspaspects during a scene are very important in changing a sadomasochistic scene from something done to the masochist to a shared experience that binds rather than separates.In all my play, regardless of the fetish, I seek to create experiences that enrich, nourish and build relationship. While not every scene or situation can accomplish these every time, they remain a goal I strive for whenever possible. 

A few days ago I scheduled a coffee date with someone on a different kinky site. I'd accidentally sent him a "wink" when my finger slipped on his profile, which was unfortunate as he also identifies as a dominant. However, he DMed me about having submissive tendencies that he didn't mention on his profile (nothing on there about being a switch). We chatted off and on for a few days and then decided to schedule a coffee date.   He's in another city, but close enough that I wasn't too worried about his commute. He was way younger than what I was looking for, but he assured me that he wasn't worried about the age discrepancy. He wasn't commercially attractive, so I wasn't completely suspicious of his motives, but he was quite vague in direct messaging about what he was hoping for.    Having bussed over, I got there early enough to get a to-go tea and grab a table. We'd talked about getting warm beverages and going for a walk while we chatted, weather permitting. I played Pokémon Go as I waited, having multiple tasks and projects to address in the game as apparently beating Team Rocket Go Boss Giovanni wasn't enough for one day.   I experimented with ways to look up when someone came in without looking expectant. He and I had traded photos, so we pretty much knew what each other looked like. I committed to staying at least 15 minutes after our official meeting time as getting parking in that neighborhood could be tricky. We hadn't swapped phone numbers, so I checked the site periodically to see if he'd contacted me: nothing.   A PoGo raid started at 3:15pm on the dot, so I left closer to 3:25pm ... just after he sent several messages to me over the kink site about his truck giving up the ghost to the tune of $4,000 and him being so worried about it all.   Uh-huh.   It's possible that he was telling the truth and that this wasn't some really, really bad attempt at a scam. But then I remembered his reported age, the vagueness about what he was hoping for, the secret reveal that he was interested in finding a domme; and I think that maybe I dodged a bullet.   Mollena Williams-Haas once talked about gameifying putting oneself out there by awarding oneself points to being brave enough to try, pulling together the energy to be bothered, presenting oneself attractively, and - in this case - even bothering to show up. So, hey - I have more points!   And that tea was quite lovely.

sacred symphony: where love, lust, and devotion meet i’ve found myself at the crossroads of neurodivergence, spirituality, and kink—a meeting place where dominance isn’t just about power but about the profound and unending interplay of trust, ownership, and devotion. writing about these experiences feels like capturing the essence of an eternal union, where love, lust, and passion merge with spiritual and physical commitment to create a connection that transcends the fleeting and becomes permanent. this isn’t about navigating the surface of dating; it’s about diving into the sacred depths of what it means to fully belong to one another—body, mind, and soul. it’s about exploring devotion as an act of ultimate union, a fusion of spiritual and carnal energies that defy time and space. through my words, i seek to articulate the beauty and power of a connection that isn’t just a relationship but a lifelong symphony of surrender, love, and sacred commitment.  

Hmm...  a journal entry, eh?  Not quite sure what to say here... or even if this thing works.  Let alone if anyone out there will read this.   Let's just start with a basic confession: I love sex, and I like it rough.  I have had fantasies about being raped ever since I a girl.  Of course back then, those fantasies were pretty tame.  Mostly being captured by a villian who would tie me up and keep me in his dungeon where he would, G, try to kiss me!  As I got older the fantasies became...  how say I say it..  more graphic...  The more I think about it, the more I realize that my rape fantasies pretty much follow a basic pattern: I'm out and about...  It's night...  I'm alone...   and I find myself in a bad situation...  and then one or more (usually more) tough looking guys show up and start getting into my person space, then they start trash talking and insulting me, then they start touching me and pushing me around.  Naturally I resist and try to get away, I usually am able to run away for a bit then they catch me again.  after that, they usually rip off all my clothes, hold me down, and have there way with me...  The specific details change, but that's the basic formula...    We'll see who reads this... Catch ya later, subMeghan

Catfishing is just catfishing plain and simple. If you put up younger images of yourself and then you scroll to the end and see the fit goth is now santa claus your emotions are a little defeated by the fact that the person you were sexually attracted to was the middle of the three stages of man but now looks like the last stage. Frustrating. I have updated my profile several times and I have not noticed a hidious delay in approval but I can't speak for others and their tech issues. When I exchange my images with other hopeful kinksters I am pretty sure I would get an ear full if the images I was sending was 10 to 15 years out of date.  I even make a point the image was taken a week ago.  The oldest image I have exchange was a month old. Just because your a man does not give you privileges to play the catfishing game. Luckily only had a brief discussion and did not hook up for drinks or I would have ordered the rum to process the catfish experience.

100% Master 100% Sadist  100% Daddy 100% Degrader  94% Rigger  93% Dominant  92% Experimentalist  84% Primal (Hunter)  79% Brat tamer  71% Owner  56% Switch  38% Non-monogamist  36% Voyeur  33% Submissive  5% Exhibitionist  0% Ageplayer  0% Brat  0% Degradee  0% Boy/Girl  0% Masochist  0% Pet  0% Primal (Prey)  0% Rope bunny  0% Slave  0% Vanilla   

More and more, I'm seeing females talking about wanting to go back to a '50's household.  Usually, they are over 30, having failed to get the free ride our society says is owed them.  Typical.  Things are getting rough.  And instead of taking responsibility for their actions or in-actions, they want to "re-negotiate" and go back to a time where they can just stay home while their husband works 60+ hours to pay for everything, including a maid to come in and do all the cleaning, because she's above all that.  Which will allow them to complain about their husbands never being home to give them an excuse to cheat on them with the whomever.  And then divorce them, taking half plus alimony.  So no.  No man should even consider that.  You want a "50's" relationship?  Sure.  50 BC, Roman Republic time.  You want what we got, including protection from what's right around the corner according to most pundits right now?  Prove your worth to us.  I'm not negotiating. 

Okay, this needs to be said, so please read.I don't care if you are male, female, trans or how you identify.  That is your choice and i will respect it.  I don't care if you are Hetero, Pan, Gay or Lesbian. It is ALL good!  I don't care what your age is, please be legal! Or how fat or thin you are. Whether you are ripped and shapely or fat, flabby or chubby.  You can be hairy, hairless, bald, gray, wrinkled or smooth. I don't care what color you are or your national or ethnic origin. I don't care whether you are cut or uncut. I don't care how long or thick your cock is! I don't care if you are a heavy cummer or if you cum at all! Hell, I don't even care if you can get it up with or without meds, or at all! I don't care how big your boobs or how phat your ass is.... WHAT I DO CARE ABOUT... is YOUR attitude! You must be Dominant! You must take charge. Be demanding. Be sadistic (but sane!) Be kinky. Be perverted. Be creative.Don't ask me what i want to do. Tell me what i am going to have to do!Don't make me wheedle out your desires and interests. TELL ME what they are!  And as a side note; the Loves, Likes etc lists on here don't really tell much of a story, so be prepared to explain.You are not going to shock me or scare me off with your dark and kinky desires. In fact, if you won't, or can't, tell me; then i am not likely to meet you under any circumstances!I won't go into a session without some idea as to what to expect!I am happy to chat or exchange emails. Discuss your desires. Explain, if i can, the options. If all you want is hot and nasty chat, i am good for that as well.

In the tapestry of relationships, polyamory stands out as a distinct weave, one that has graced my life in unexpected ways. Today, I sit back to reflect on my experiences in MfM and fMf dynamics and the deeply transformative impact they have had on me.   Poly relationships, particularly those involving MfM or fMf dynamics, are not merely about the number of partners but the depth of connection, understanding, and mutual respect. I've always felt a special allure towards such relationships. It's an intricate dance of balance, emotion, and trust.   James, my late husband, played an instrumental role in my introduction to this world. He wasn't just my husband; he was a guiding force, teaching me the beauty of unconditional love, free from societal shackles. The way he introduced me to the world of BDSM, and by extension, poly dynamics, was subtle, considerate, and built on a foundation of trust. It wasn't about sharing for sharing's sake, but about expanding our horizons, about understanding that love isn't finite, and that sharing doesn't diminish but rather amplifies affection.   I remember our first experience. The trust between James and me was the anchor, holding us steady amidst the tumultuous waves of uncertainty. He would often whisper affirmations in my ear, reminding me of my worth, my beauty, and my agency. "You are in control," he would say, even when introducing me to a new partner. This wasn't about him, or even about the new partner; it was about *us*, as a unit, exploring, learning, and growing.   In an fMf dynamic, there was a certain softness, a delicate touch. The presence of another woman introduced a different layer of intimacy. It was in these moments that I found a sisterly bond, a deep understanding, which went beyond the realms of physicality. On the other hand, the MfM dynamic provided a sense of security, of being cherished, surrounded by an aura of protection from both sides.   But why do I like it? It's the feeling of expansiveness, the sensation that my heart isn't confined to a singular beat but reverberates with multiple rhythms. James ensured that I never felt ified. It wasn't about mere physicality but an exploration of emotions, boundaries, and profound connections. The journey made me more comfortable in my skin, understanding and accepting my desires, and seeing them not as taboo but as natural extensions of my persona.   James always reminded me of my worth. His unwavering support ensured I never felt "less than" or "used." Each experience was a shared one, a journey that we undertook together. There were moments of doubt, of course, moments where societal conditioning would seep in, whispering words of judgment. But with James by my side, those whispers were quickly silenced. His belief in the beauty and authenticity of our choices bolstered my confidence.   In the end, poly dynamics taught me the multifaceted nature of love. They made me realize that love isn't a zero-sum game. One can love multiple people, in varied ways, without diminishing the love for any single individual. It's about expansion, about realizing the boundless capacity of the human heart.   In these relationships, I've learned more about myself than I ever imagined. They taught me resilience, understanding, and most importantly, self-acceptance. Through the layers of shared experiences, laughter, tears, and deep conversations, I found a version of myself that's unapologetic, bold, and incredibly comfortable in her skin.  

The Meaning of a collar The collar is one of the firsts to come to mind when we think about leather in its simplest functional form. Yet whether a collar is fastened on ones own neck or seen adorned by another, it always evokes a deep response, but what is the cultural meaning behind the collar – and why does it get our hearts racing without fail?The collar has been a key piece in the process – as it easily transcends worlds without losing its radical potential. In fashion, the collar is an enduring symbol of pushing boundaries. It’s been part of the subcultural dress code since the early days of the punk movement. Collars served as a finishing touch to outfits already ridden with safety pins and chains – at times, in line with the community’s resourceful spirit, those were the actual sturdy dog collars from pet shops. Collars were a fitting accessory for self-proclaimed underdogs – and a nod to sexual subversiveness as a part of broader nonconformity. The collar has a deep significance in the BDSM and kink community as the ultimate symbol of power exchange. Worn around the neck, it signifies the submissive role or exploration of submissive desires. It is a foundation for collaring ceremonies (and since recently, self-collaring) which celebrate relationship dynamics and identities, a crucial asset for play, and a fun way to toy with these ideas maybe for a few hours at a party. Getting a collar for yourself or accepting a collar as a gift from someone else can be a sincere gesture of romantic connection – or simply an act of self-love and being open to new types of experiences. When the buckle closes around your neck – that sweet tight pull and release – the collar stops being an and becomes an invitation to explore a different mindset or role, play with the energy it brings you and see where it takes you. Whether combined with clothes or on its own, wearing a collar can be intriguing, arousing, moving, comforting or even thrilling. A perfect collar combines the visual ect of form and functio, with texture, sturdiness, and the quality of materials from which it is crafted. Wearing a collar is an embodied experience rooted in psychology and sensation. Our necks are sensitive and vulnerable, a precious vessel for nerves and arteries, a place that holds erotic tension. A collar is a reminder of human fragility, connection, commitment, and the courage to show up as your authentic self.    

Living in a fantasy world doesn’t help anyone—not you, not the people around you, not the future you claim to want. Being useful means showing up in reality, doing the work, learning real skills, and taking responsibility instead of escaping into excuses or imaginary victories. Dreams matter, but without action they’re just noise. Ground yourself, contribute something real, and turn effort into results—that’s how you actually move forward. I often find Myself not wanting to come back on this site , for reasons of giving My time to men that are basically all talk and no action.  Don't take that the wrong way. I'm not looking for a " play partner " I'm not a pro and I'm not looking for a hit or miss situation.  I am only looking for fulltime and hopefully lifetime commitments.  I get so many on here that are basically saying the same thing. They are looking for a FLR, they are looking for this or that. What I am saying is I'm looking for someone that will add to My life. Hopefully someone with skills, around the house, a garden, willing to learn almost a very different life that I an pressed forward into living.  Even if you are only a background male that is willing to learn what I am capible of teaching, that is good enough.  But, if you are from the city I promise you , you will probably struggle and not understand what real country life is about.  In that case you should pass by this profile and looking for a wuss position in the city .   

I want to be clear...here are my hard limits... Kids Animals Choking Guns Orgies/Gangbangs Swinger type events. I am into the power exchange not group sex Cuckold  Scat Serious Public Humiliation/ Sarcasm/ Degradation/ and/or blackmail Diapers Pacifers Bottles Dont ever call me mom or mommy Age Play Animal Play, no pony or puppy role play either ( can be done at very infrequent times but not for all the time) Sissy play (some femme is ok) Needle Play Tattoos /brands, unless you are collared I won’t tattoo you ... and even then I probably won't.  Blood Play Illegal Drugs and many legal ones Smoking/smoke Untruthfulness Ass to mouth. I will not take things from your ass and expect you to put them in your mouth Death play Vomit Occultism Paranormal things Vampirism Poppers or drugs

Once I learned how to "shop for Fem" I became a ShopAholic! Could go every day to look for another new female garment. I even found myself buying 2 and 3 of the same just because the fabric and print turned me on so much.   Wearing these cute fem, girlie girl skirts and dresses and girdles and garter belts and opaque thigh high nylons and pantyhose just drives me crazy  horny! Being so turned on with the pastel colors and cute prints for myself makes me know how I would like to dress another CD Gurl for Sexilicious encounters.

My next series of workshops will be at Exxxotica, Chicago  April 11-13! Dont miss my workshops or a chance to meet me!  My next play event is coming up!! Spring Fling and Strapon Things will be held in NJ.  Those interested in further details for these events may respectfully Inquire via message with the first word of your message to read EVENTS.

Today marks the beginning of my search for a domestic servant to assist with various household tasks. I am looking for a unique arrangement that emphasizes mutual comfort and understanding.    Position Overview:  Type: Unpaid  Responsibilities: Light housekeeping duties, organization, and general assistance around the home.  Skills: Massage skills would be a notable plus, as I appreciate relaxation and wellness.   Working Environment: I welcome a clothing-optional atmosphere, prioritizing comfort and personal freedom. It’s essential to foster an environment where both the servant and I can feel at ease.   I will take time to thoughtfully consider candidates, ensuring they align with these criteria while maintaining a positive, respectful dynamic.    As I navigate this search, I’ll focus on effective communication and transparency to cultivate a healthy working relationship.

seeking only: Gentlemen - Master - Sadist - Dark Primal lets be honest with each other. I have a type between the age 20 - 45 age is just a number but that what I am attracted to someone who has there shit together. and who has there life together. we not all perfect. we all have our issues is ok with gummies. I need them for my pain and to not slap people but like pain is pain and nobody want to live in pain want to and understand certain things that should be commons knowledge but as a kinky content creator you fine out guys think more with there dicks then there brains but want a guy who understands right from wrong has the braincells and know how to use them know what you want. this is a life. this is our hobbies. this life make us feel as our real self that other don't get to see. we both know what we want and we consenting adult I probably better fitted for a lifestyle home but I am open to talking to all with the understanding we both know our wants and needs and it ok we not a fit then we not a fit let me be honest. I have a type. if you are this type you get moved to the front of the line. anyone like these main male characters in these books but while I like Tigger warning with books you need to be a decent human being. cause they are as well in my books   also if you have Fry bread and looking for a kinky aunty, hit me up ----- sold - williow winter Lord series - shantel tessier The Ruinous Love Trilogy by Brynne Weaver light out - Navessa Allen Cat and Mouse Series - H.D. Carlton

My Master naturally controls my sex life. I'm not allowed to plesure myself without His permission; interestingly, He prefers that I don't wear my chastity cage: He says He wants me to build my self control and deny myself willingly for Him.   I am proud I am able to do this not just because it means I'm doing what I'm told but because it's a way of showing Him how much He mans in my life. When W/we speak on Skype though, and I know He is watching me (even though Master chooses not to tun on His camera), then He allows me to dip my hand into my panties and play with myself. That positive reinforcement between meetings with my Master and sexual pleasure is very powerful at many levels. At a purely physical level the association is fairly clear, but I also like the psychological dimension - the idea that I only get pleasure when He gets pleasure (from watching me). It's so helpful in weaning me away from my old fake life in which I thought only of my own pleasures and accepting my new slave life where my pleasures count for nothing. Only Master matters.    

I am dumbfounded by the number of female submissive, on this site, who in an act of straight out dominance insist on integrating a core component of the vanilla lifestyle into the lifestyle developed from the writings of the Marquis de Sade. Especially, when that vanilla component is the antithesis of The Marquis' work and why he theorized women were too inhibited to wantonly explore their complete sexual response. De Sade observed that emotional love was like a drug (turns out to be oxytocin) that wore off and eventually left the woman disenchanted as her resistance to the hormone built up and the man’s efforts to re-create the first dose becomes more and more difficult. To the point, that eventually, the man quits trying and seeks out a woman who will fuck him like his wife did initially and validate his efforts. So now, the women has a legitimate reason to look elsewhere for that dose of that initial oxytocin. Which only happens a few times in each relationship, and if it happens, it’s always happens in the beginning. And, the more she gets of it (oxytocin) the more immune she becomes to it’s affect. This means, that by building on a foundation of emotional love, women are essentially setting a time bomb underneath the relationships entire foundation, as well as inhibiting their own sexual being.

Edit     So the looser of our little game is now in the position of being constantly aroused at the thought of so many folk seeing one of her pictures, and as she has no control over further posts. Its hard to tell which is arousing her more, the loss of control or folk seeing her pictures. So today we have a fresh picture to review, feedback welcome.

MstrB writing from midtown been looking for one decent slave for some time now it will be well trained for a variety of domestic services and hopefully for the slaves sake it is able to learn from its corrections …even better if it already knows exactly what it’s good for!  ...all its further educating will be done with a strap kept very close by.... it will be made to understand it has no rights no privileges no freedom to come or to go without asking for and receiving  express permission  so much in life is correctly forbidden to a slave  and it must be reminded of this consistently if not constantly slave has no secrets no privacy or much time alone and certainly no participation or place in any considerations or discussions about things going to be done with the slave in fact it has no say in much of anything slaves Owner will have full authority over the slave and its affairs and will use that authority very strictly I am understanding of slaves condition I am sympathertic to its plight and always give a slave what it needs but allow very little of what it wants this is both an Owners prerogative over the slave as well as an extension of a kind of parental authority therefore no disrespect or disobedience will be permitted ...ever! MrB   ------------------------------------------------------------------------       I use…and enjoy very much using… real discipline- isolation- humiliation-lots of busy work in the home...all to train a female to a level of acceptable domesticity…sort of housebreaking the slave…teaching both the need for her focused Obedience and the necessity to perform with humility and accuracy whatever is demanded from her chores chores chores…so much to be done….so many things to attend to... upon collaring slaves pussy will be immediately closed for business as her chastity must be clearly established for the oversexed sluts own good...she will have no orgasms until permitted ..her hands fingers etc will be kept from her vaginal area except for purposes of good hygiene and then only under direct supervision...
 rule of thumb...a slave will be fully given what she needs and very very little of what she wants. so I am here seeking full Ownership of such a woman and she would do well to have a real slave personality....certain qualities will be emphasized in her training as more wanted than others...humility for instance...a highly prized quality that can't be stressed enough and that is wholly attractive to see when presented with sincerity …she will be shown how to provide service as the Obedient intelligent servant she was born to be… she will complement my life and basically make things easier for me in whatever way she is called on…as a relationship develops between Owner and slave she will come to appreciate more and more the kinds of support and guidance given to her... she will learn to approach her Owner with nothing less than demonstrable Respect under all circumstances… her training in how to properly submit herself will never really end so her attention will be directed to intellectual things I will insist she consider and think about...adult slave lessons on a cerebral level… she will be stripped, anally plugged and put into a submissive position on her knees or perhaps ordered to freeze on her tiptoes... she will then be closely questioned about these things…her answers are required and truly valued… she must be responsive and forthcoming to all questions about her feelings her moods and her progress in becoming more servile and useful..the point being to make her a better servant and a more responsive slave....these interrogations and her confessions of her feelings will be a ritual she will learn to anticipate and expect …the reasons for them are simple..I want her to be fully aware of her condition in this lifestyle and in my life most of all…she belongs to me as my property and she is subject to my discipline my control my desires and decisions for her… I want her to learn to accept and in the end embrace the benefits she enjoys thanks to me because I do what I think is best for her… I will do whatever needs to be done to turn this woman into the best slave she can possibly be …I am a sexual sadist all my life and knew this when I was about eight or nine though I had no idea of the implications…
I use many forms of personality and behavioral techniques.. real discipline, humiliation, isolation, very tight bondage, sensory dep... whatever I find has the greatest effect on her emotions.. I will happily enforce her Obedience until she learns to respectfully offer it...one way or another I will get what I want from her…she will be trained to domestic service of various kinds...she will be watched closely and fairly judged on how well she performs these tasks and she will be unfailingly punished when she fails to do them as instructed...her good service is a pure reflection of her Respect for her Owner and her place in his life... her Obedience is the essence of her slave self....to be useful in all ways and show that she knows her place at all times is one of her many goals as the slave she is.... and her training will center heavily on perfecting her attitude as she is carrying out the tasks given her ...no matter what the work or activity is, it must be performed with a pleasing attitude...with humility... and if not?...
so many reasons a woman offers to give her a memorable correction…as though a reason were even needed.  I am open for discussion of all issues which will come up and need to be addressed to keep things balanced and harmonious between Owner and slave…she will be safe and protected from as much of the outside world as she wants to not have to deal with... I welcome the amazing emotional connections that come from a successful M/s relationship and take full responsibility for what I do !... not everything can be solved with a strap but for a true slave? nothing else will do……McB  

I used to love whoring and slutting around. There wasn’t anything quite as fun as finding a new cock to play with – I was always thrilled at how fast I could get a guy hard and how hard I could make him cum with my mouth or my cunt. Fucking was the only time I felt genuinely confident in my 20’s. A lot of that came down to Kevin. I belonged to Kevin (on and off) for over a decade. He was my first D/s relationship, and his primary focus and kink was whoring me out. He loved having me be an absolute filthy fucking slut for him, and the confidence and power I felt in that role over time was incredible. Through him, I learned how much power a woman could have in herself by submitting to her own sexual desires. It wasn’t just that Kevin loved having me be a whore (as much as I wanted to think that was my sole purpose at the time), I fucking loved sex and I loved the attention and desire I felt from men in those moments. I loved the strength and confidence I gained from their desire; it was a strength that lasted a lot longer than the encounter did, that’s for damn sure. I didn’t need their reassurance or their attention after. I didn’t need them after, period. I got my reassurance from Kevin. His praise and enthusiasm for my behavior reinforced the strength that I gained and reinforced my confidence in my skills. I didn’t have shit for confidence walking down the street or walking into a party to be around strangers, but the second I was presented with a hard cock, it was Game. Fucking. On. THAT I knew I could handle with perfect confidence, grace and skill. And I fucking relished every moan, groan, sigh, gasp, and trembling muscle from the man I was with. In my 20’s, I was somewhere around 340-375lbs. I didn’t really get on a scale very often, so I honestly don’t know how much I actually weighed. What I do know, is that it was Kevin who taught me that my size didn’t preclude me from being desirable. When I moved to “the big city”, I had the opportunity for basically unlimited male attention, which was a first for me, having grown up in the middle of nowhere Nebraska. Kevin encouraged this exploration, but also gave me very distinct rules and boundaries (he’d more than learned by that time that I had no idea how to establish, let alone maintain, my own boundaries). He made me go to Planned Parenthood to get my birth control shot. He “gave me permission” to tell guys to fuck off if they didn’t want to use protection for sex; I could ‘blame my Owner’ if they were at all hesitant. Having all this attention from all these different guys, never having to go more than a few days without sex if I didn’t want to, god – it was fucking incredible! And in the background, was Kevin, telling me what a fantastic little whore I was. When it came to being with Kevin, it was an even bigger reassurance. He told me once, during a moment of extreme insecurity, “I don’t give a shit what you look like, Lisa. What I care about is control.” I knew I could give him that better than anyone, the question was, did he actually mean it? The short answer is, abso-fucking-lutely. When my stunning beauty of a roommate (who’d played with Kevin over the phone and online multiple times) joined us one night, I figured it was going to be game over for us. She was a knock-out compared to me and way better at everything sexual than I could ever dream of being. He was choking her with his dick and she freaked because he wouldn’t let her control the pace or how far down her throat his cock went. She jumped up and took off out of the room to go smoke a bowl and calm down and he called me over. Despite her naked self standing mere feet from him, perky ass and tits on full display, he was totally soft. The second I put his dick in my mouth and let him choke me to his hearts content, he was rock hard and having the time of his life. She eventually came back to the kitchen table where he was sitting while I sucked him off, and I remember feeling an unbelievable surge of pride as he praised me, telling me what a good girl I was, how much he loved choking me and making me cry, how pretty my tears were. And when he finally came in my mouth, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that for some men…it really is all about control. And I was officially hooked. That was all I wanted from that moment on, and to a large extent, it’s still all I want. Especially when it comes to any type of D/s dynamic. I don’t fucking care about the sex, whips or chains…I want the man who gets rock hard simply because I love to obey, to give up as much control as possible. I want the guy who gets off leaving me a list of chores to do in the morning and is way more turned on by me having completed the whole list plus some, then having to “punish me” because I failed to do those tasks. I want the guy who’s dick goes soft because a girl tells him ‘no’ (and he would never dream of pushing her beyond that ‘no’), but he gets hard as steel, instantly, because where someone else says ‘no’, I say ‘yes please and thank you’. I don’t need gymnastics and props…they can’t do anything nearly as good as a hand in my hair and a deep voice whispering in my ear.

I LOATHE setting up WordPress.  I mean.. .GAAHHH! I miss doing things via .html where I had control over what went where, and how things looked. Yes, it was a LOT of work doing things like forms, sidebars, etc, but at least it went where I wanted it I still have to get dominaangeldmort dot com back on it's own space, but for now, at least the page is back up, parked on my angeldmort domain, and I have the podcast started, sort of The first run through is up, and it does play, although I think I need to re-record it, so it doesn't sound so... flat?  and I can't figure out how to put the subscribe or donate buttons on there, etc The link is up on my fet group, if anyone wants to have a look It's called Why You Can't Find a Dominant Woman If anyone is good with WordPress, or web design in general, feel free to offer some advice It's a start.

I DID EDIT A COUPLE ENTRIES WHEN I REALIZED THEY WERE HARD TO READ, UNTIL I NOTICED IT CHANGED THE DATE... I don't know if I should just give up or redo my profile or what. I have lost contact with some I wished to talk to due to short term memory issues that pop up from time to time. Those that I have a great conversation with just seem to disappear. If I am screwing up-tell me. I do talk a lot when nervous. I also try to lay it all out there so things don't come up later and be a red flag, and that  can be overwhelming. I am very honest and open because I know what I need and want. Very few have been as open back, but I have appreciated it, Maybe I just need a break? I have grown weary of the search.

I've been asked a lot about being poly and I thought I'd make a note here about it. I am polyamorous. I believe in multiple loves, multiple relationships, communication, trust and respect for everyone involved. I currently have my own submissive whom I've been with for 7 years and a vanilla boyfriend I've been with for two. They both live with me. They date seperately and neither of them expects to be included in my exploits (IE we DON'T DO threesomes)  We practice a "kitchen table" type polyamory where we have this cozy, happy little household where everyone gets along with everyone else. We often invite our partners and dates over for little wrestling parties (we're all huge WWE and AEW fans) and Cards Against Humanity.  I love being poly. I have so much to give.  If you have any questions and would like me answer them here in my journal please feel free to write me.  your girl joy

January 25, 2022 - My Leatherboy wants fucked.   It's been a while since I have written a story. Because of asthma and lung problems, I'll be honest, I hid out for quite some time during the beginning of the pandemic.   After I received my first two shots I became a little more active, and after the booster shot, things are starting to return to normal.  But we won't talk about the pandemic, because I always try to stay away from conversations on religion, politics, and now... The pandemic.   This story is about my leather boy who came for a visit.  He visited before but I didn't write the story.   In fact, if I'm not mistaken, on his second visit I took his virginity. This is his third visit.   We didn't waste much time after we got inside the house, he stripped naked almost immediately. I know how much he loves leather, the smell, the texture, even the taste as he licks my leather. So before heading upstairs to the bedroom, I grabbed my leather jock, which is actually a codpiece.   Once we got upstairs to the bedroom, I stripped down and handed him the codpiece and told him to put it on me. It is entirely made of leather, and the front of the codpiece is a flat piece of leather with a hole in it large enough to pop my cock and balls through. Then there is a leather waistband that snaps in the back. And finally an "up the ass crack" piece of leather that loops over the waistband.     He snapped all the leather pieces together around my waist with the bright silver snaps. Then looped the piece going up my ass crack over the waistband and snapped it in place also.   I turned around and handed him the pouch that snaps into place over my cock and balls. He snapped the bottom snap in place below my balls at my taint. Then after slightly and gently fondling the smooth soft leather, he gently pushed the pouch over my cock and balls and attach the two side snaps, one on each side of the base of my cock. My cock and balls are now almost completely hidden by the Leather pouch.   As he started to snap the first of the three across the top, the cock of my head was peeking out a little bit.  I stopped him, and unsnapped the two side snaps he had just completed.  My growing cock spring free, and I told him, "Why don't you suck on Daddy's cock for just a moment before you close it up."   He anxiously took my cock in his mouth and started to work on it. It felt wonderful, warm and wet. His tongue darting around my cock as it grew stiffer and stiffer. I knew he was enjoying the smell of the codpiece as well as the taste of my cock. I wouldn't be surprised if I was already starting to precum a bit at this point.   I let him suck my cock and lick my balls for a while and then told him to close it up. He reattached the two side snaps, stuffed my hard cock in the pouch as best he could, and then attached the three snaps across the top.   I told him to get in bed face down. He quickly complied of course. I grabbed a long soft rope from the table and walked back to the bed. I took his right wrist in my hand and put it behind his back. I think it surprised him a bit. I was a little bit aggressive at this point, maybe that's what surprised him.  Then I grabbed his left wrist and put it behind his back on top of his right wrist.   I started wrapping the soft rope around his wrists using a special technique that I had learned at CLAW quite a few years ago that keeps the rope from tightening around the wrist and cutting off blood flow. Eventually his hands were tightly secured behind his back.   I lubed up a couple fingers and started playing with his ass. I felt his hips push back against my fingers as they penetrated his tight hole. Deeper and deeper I pushed until I found his prostate. I started massaging his prostate which caused him to moan. I continued adding more lube and more fingers until he was nice and loosened up and relaxed.   I have a small dressing mirror on the wall that is positioned in the exact place so that if a boy looks to the right, he can see the reflection of his own ass as I work on it. I noticed that my leather boy kept turning his head to the right, I'm not sure if he was watching the scenario unfold in the mirror or just changing his head position.   I walked over to the table and got a very small string of anal beads. There are only four beads and are probably only 3/4 inch in diameter.  I wanted to leave something in his ass as I was planning my next move.   I pushed the first bead against his tight hole, and kept pushing until it popped inside his ass. As I started to push the second bead into him I felt him push his hips back to give me full access. He was enjoying the feeling as the second bead popped into him. I started to push the third bead up his ass but at the last moment decided to pull and tug so he could feel the second bead pop out. That only meant I had another opportunity to push that bead back in place where it belonged. Soon the third bead joined the first two in his warm lubed hole.  I pulled all three beads out just so I could start over again.   Occasionally his arms would move or jerk around as I would pop the beads in and out of his hole. This was accompanied by many soft moans slipping out of his lips.   After a bit of play all four beads were snuggly up his ass. With only the final Loop showing which would allow me to pull them out when I was done with my next task.   Although his hands were tied behind his back I told him to scoot down on the bed a bit. When he did, I climbed in near the top of the bed with my legs on each side of him, my cock near his face. I reached down and unsnapped the codpiece pulling it completely off. I laid it next to me on the bed because I knew I would be using it again soon, but for a different purpose.   Because his hands were tied behind his back, it was slightly difficult for him to lift his head to take my cock. So I grabbed his head on each side with my hands, lifted him up a little bit, and slid my body down a little closer.     He instinctively knew to open his mouth for my cock which was now in front of his face. I lowered his mouth onto my cock. Once again it felt wonderful. The muscles in his stomach were working overtime to allow him to bob up and down on my cock. And hopefully he could still feel the beads that were penetrating his ass. I know it was only a matter of time until those muscles started to wear out.    A few times I would pull him off my cock and push him onto my balls and let him lick and play with my balls with his tongue. Sometimes arching my back so he could look that area between my ass and my balls. It's one of my trigger spots, it really gets me going. I think I'm going to have to teach him to rim my nice clean ass sometime in the near future.   Occasionally using my hands on the size of his head I would force him deeper on to my cock, or if I felt he needed a breath of air, I would pull him off my cock so only the head of my cock was left in his mouth.  As I expected, after about 10 minutes of this position his stomach muscles were giving out.     He could no longer pull himself off my cock.  With no muscles to pull him off, his face fell forward, my cock finding its way to the

I genuinely love my boyfriend. I have loved a good number of people but this is the first time I've dated anyone for longer than two weeks who has not been argumentative, selfish, mean, and committed to never understanding me. And more often than not we communicate very well. We have argued twice in almost a year. He is kind and gentle with me. He is thoughtful and generous. He makes me feel calm and at peace. He doesn't behave as if he is irritated with me when I am anxious, depressed, or having panic attacks. He grounds me. He is all of the things I've wanted from all the serious partners I've had in the past.    He has never ever hurt me (except once when he asked me to go home and I took it personally lol).   Absolutely zero of my relationships have ever been this good, the worst being my marriage. I can say I am absolutely happy when I am with him which is what pushed me to want to be happy when I am without him. I had never thought it possible for me to be happy, alone or with another person since I had never been happy in a relationship before. I felt good and would call it happiness but I wasn't happy. Now that happiness is possible I must learn to find it inside of myself which is difficult when you've been miserable for 31 years    So this is what it means to find your person.  He is like starlight, like the laughter of babies, like the colors of the sunrise and the sunset, like the buds in spring, like a glass of refreshing cool water, like a warm hug. He is love. He is safety. Something I never thought I'd ever have. Something I've never seen anyone have in person. Something I didn't expect from what was supposed to be a tinder one night stand.    A one night stand that ended up with us being intertwined so intimately that we are now inseparable.

The amount of people submitting payment requests for preorders on FYF is comical. ROFL Just to be sure, Ive been sending out the necessary releases to My people enmasse so they can be prepared for all possibilities.  Honestly, ya'll have Me laughing-snorting with how serious you take Me. Its inspiring and hilarious. Onward and upward. Applying to Me is not a walk in the park.  You have to jump through the hoops I set for you and you may never understand why I do what I door how I do or when I do.  This part is not about you getting it...it is about Me getting what I want in order to assess your ability to serve Me and Mine for life. Think rabbit hole, think nude, think entirely enslaved.  Then you might come close to what I am thinking and what I am looking for. Be sane, be real, be someone who can share in a telephone conversation, be someone who can move between worlds - or decidely be an object in My menagerie - still sane & real.

Wow! Got a lot of postive feedback from my last journal entry.  So here's a follow-up with more stuff about me... Here are some of the questions I have gotten: Before we get started, as directed by my dom, I am required to tell you that as I write this, I, subMeghan, am completely naked, except for my dog collar...   Do I have a job?  Yes, I have a regular 8 to 5 job.  Boring stuff.  Basically it's data entry kinda job.  Not going to say to much more about that.  There are no sexy stories to tell here... Have I ever been raped?  Yes, but I don't think I'm going to talk about this... How did I get into this "lifestyle"?  I suspect that I've always had a desire to be dominated in some way.  (see my previous journal entries about my fantasies.)  However, I'm going to have to say that one of my early boyfriends was the one who officially got me into bondage.  Prior to him, everything was just in my head.  He was the first person to tie me up during sex... Do I live in a cage/dungeon? No, I live in a normal house.  We kinda use our garage as a makeshift "dungeon".  (Not really a dungeon, more of a playroom).  Nothing very wild, just a few eyebolts in one of the overhead beams for bondage purposes... Am I a whore/prostitute? No, I am not.  That said, in my "wild" high school days, I did kinda trade sex for help on some homework assignments.  It was with a fellow student and we sorta dated for awhile.  But mostly it was a relationship of convenience.  My reputation in high school was way worse than my actual life... Well that's all for now.  I hope you all have a great weekend.  I look forward to hearing from you.  Until next time, this is subMeghan signing off.

She wouldn't be my adored Wife and Mistress if She didn't have a lot of fun keeping her counterpart in agonising ignorance. Waiting, worrying, hoping. What She uses for Her pleasure will never know where the journey leads. It is the happy fate of Her property to blindly surrender to Her and willingly follow Her instructions. The journey goes wherever She wants it to go - She will point the right direction. Sie wäre nicht meine angebetete Ehefrau und Mistress, wenn sie einen riesen Spaß dabei hätte, ihr Gegenüber in quälender Unwissenheit verharren zu lassen. Warten, Bangen, Hoffen. Was sie zu ihrem Vergnügen benutzt, wird sich nie gewiss sein können, wohin die Reise geht. Es ist das glückliche Los Ihres Eigentums, sich Ihr blind zu ergeben und Ihren Weisungen willig zu folgen. Die Reise geht, wohin Ihr der Sinn steht - Sie wird die richtige Richtung schon aufzeigen.

Well, let me kick off this writing to you with this first document This one and all others may use words and describe parts of life and relationships that the uninterested my find offensive I also may often you the word you or another pronoun that has the same meaning I am writing to your mind to read and understand me and give me significant feedback so I understand you as well Because I am writing this more or less on the fly, the thoughts may be laid out a bit more scattered than a book, but too bad I am writing to the submissive deep in your mind and being, the slave or the masochist that needs and desires and wants and needs more So hang in there You must have a very strong mind which is determined to learn things most just ignore Let me touch on some emotions as the physical, mental and emotional state of life is so deep into all this Most people are basically insecure That is why research has shown that up to 98 percent of people are very satisfied being followers and letting others take the responsibility of decision making and leadership The mentality of a person that advocates she is a slave is right there She looks first of all for safety and security and close behind that is the need to feel wanted, to be needed, to be of value In return for that emotional reassurance she is very willing to do almost anything to please another because that is the one great thing she has the power to do Being bound tight she nearly always tests the bondage to see if she can get away It is important to her that she cannot because it has an emotional meaning that someone took the extra time to insure that grip on her and it carries the meaning that she is wanted Almost any of strict control, humiliation and abuse is far better than being alone and unwanted It does not need the complications of sex or to say someone loves you or that they would never want someone else one day far off At that moment it is a simple fact they want you and that is what starts your life living As you step into it deeper, being blindfolded or hooded restricting eyesight calms you in very deep ways Its that other one is taking responsibility for you and your needs and most of all your safety You will want to feel it, and reach out for the one controlling you that way Being locked in a cage has at least a double meaning emotionally You are restrained and kept and thus very limited in what you can do without someone wanting you to do it by letting you out But there is also that gate and lock between you and the world, which can be seen as keeping all the evil things that chase you real or imagined out where they can not reach you A strict cage not only is like your prison, but also like your base or your fortress where again you are safe, where you can indeed relax and sleep And that collar Like a wedding ring, it means so much to a submissive slave She has made it and her ownership and that desire to take her is on display for all to see When you can, you finger it and hold it and fidget with it, and know it is there for a real purpose But to have all this requires that someone really does want you, be it for the better or the worst, that want and desire is real and gives you a place and purpose in life And with that, you are never really alone In time, you may feel frighten or scared or even cry when it is taken off when for a short time Even deeper is the matter of control, and how it reaches into your personal thoughts and life and gives you something to live up to and meet in a consistent way Both pain and pleasure are emotions first and are often never tended well in everyday life In a stricter life, so much fluff and useless energy is removed or not allowed and something special happens You can focus You can see more clearly yourself and all you need to be as well as all you want to be Yes, it takes time and training and understanding to know the reason why you feel that the slave in you must submit and submit deeply and unendingly Those emotions of need and want are so different and so rarely understood You can want this feeling to be like a beautiful ring to wear, and you want it a lot but you can eat and drink and breathe without it everyday of your life A need is like the air that you breathe and that need is so powerful that a few minutes, without it you are dead A slave grows up wanting things, but at the same time she grows up needing things Control and submission show the path of making the needs a reality You learn to focus on those things in life that are needs and those that are wants when all the fluff is removed and those distractions to your emotional thought process are removed I am a writer, and a scientist and I can go on and on about this, and do so in the face of all those that just want their experience to be sex with a little rope The true slave and the true owner learn that there really is so much more to this life

Values beyond the flesh So often I hear from ladies how this guy just wants sex, that guy just wants nudes, or even in a local trend "Doms" charging sex for scenes claiming they deserve it for all the work which gets put in by them :eyeroll: The desires of the flesh leaves so much unseen. The beauty of the mind, warmth of a heart, passions of ones soul have always been so captivating to me. Even at a young age in gradeschool I found myself writing poems well beyond my years. I was recognizing the fact that the flesh fades. Wrinkles will form. The body changes with stress, kids, injuries, and any number of factors which life throws our way. That "perfect wrapper" was purely a deception and the true beauty laid so much deeper. So over the years I dated ladies of a wide range of physical descriptions. Race, weight, disabilities, prior traumas, were not detractors but seen as part of the history she had lived and what helped shape her into the wonderful person she was. I put my heart and soul into the relationship easing away the scars revealing the beautiful lady which laid beneath all those layers. In return I was presented with someone stronger, wiser, and more loving than ever before. It was a healthy wonderful exchange with great rewards. I took on many scars of my own over the years. My face is wrinkled with the stress of it all. My heart is tired and sore. For all that I took on in my life I have been showing the wear and tear. Even still I hear those same complaints. Nomatter the smiles I try to bring the story is always the same. Lady's will complain about all the heartache brought by such disgusting leaches which drink their heart and soul dry all while overlooking the guy who can truly love them and treat them as they truly deserve. As more than a piece of flesh, but as that person deserving of support, compliments, a partner truly there for them in this life. The person standing right there next to her through all this heartache crying his own tears at her pain. The one called upon in distress, but never seen truly.  

So I'm at the gym today  I witness this tall white male with an extremely fit body in these light blue tights with a tiny tiny bulge it was giving squirrel nuts. Now that's not the issue! I watch him go and put all the weights he could find on to the leg press thingamajiig, and I mean it was filled to the rim (no pun intended) He lays flat on his back and lift the weights with his legs. Now here is where things got interesting. He just lifted the weight (that was obviously to heavy) one time and strained for at least 10 minutes. I mean not one single rep done. Veins popped out of his forehead and sweating like a hydrated crackhead. I asked my friend should I go ask him if he would like to come to my BDSM party because he must just enjoy pain 

Master's Writings Fundamentals: What Turns You on is Good & The Struggle Against Social Norms Far too often I find individuals hung up on their internal permission to lean into what turns them on. They’ve discovered this or that excites them, but due to baggage from social norms, upbringing, or who knows what prior learning or pressures they experienced in their lives, they struggle to allow themself the space or freedom to explore this desire more fully. It tends to lurk in the realm of things taboo, and frequently causes them feelings of shame, guilt, or a need to closet this part of themself off from the world and hide. I was chatting with a submissive the other day, who was struggling with a kink, they clearly found exciting, but felt immense guilt each time they approached it. They were essentially stuck in this tug of war between internal acceptance and desire fulfillment of this new found pleasure. This causing significant anguish emotionally as well as guilt for liking this new thing but knowing it was “wrong” somehow. As a person and as a submissive, they were seriously struggling with this both as a person and as a submissive. I believe there are some fundamentals that I believe are core to this conversation, both for them as well as for others who struggle similarly: Note: I will preface all of the following thoughts with the limitation that I am referring to pleasures, fetishes, kinks and actions that are consensual and safe for all involved.   Life is short, enjoy it however you can. I recognize this is a hedonistic view of things but life can be hard at times, I believe we should find pleasure and enjoy it wherever we can. What feels good, turns you on and brings you joy should be enjoyed. Pleasure is a very personal experience and as is the internal permission to allow yourself to enjoy the sensation. Seek out those pleasurable things and allow yourself to let them bring you happiness. Life is short. What turns you on is good and Social Norms are just other people’s opinion. Regardless of what that is. If it floats your boat, its a good thing. Never let anyone else tell you its not. Most of us were brought up with social stigmas around sex, gender, nakedness, and so on. We were taught by parents, church, media what is what is evil or wrong. Social norms, prejudices, stigmas, and things designated as taboo are passed on by others. We are brought up believing them and because of that, they hold power over us and they are hard to shake off. Yet, I believe, so long as it does not impact another person, you and you alone have the right to determine what is right and good for you. You hold solvency over your mind, will, and body. As soon as you can see feelings of wrongness, taboo, or evil, as opinions conveyed to you by others. As soon as you begin thinking, evaluating and choosing for yourself what is right, good and pleasurable, you will be ready to embrace “what turns you on is good”, and you will be open to far more than you could imagine. The journey of self discovery is an essential one. I believe discovering what you like and why you like it, is one of the beautiful journeys we get to experience as we enter the lifestyle. If we can maintain an open mind, open heart, and free ourself from feelings of guilt, shame, self judgment as we take this journey, we can learn more than we ever thought we could about who we are in life. There is an entire world out there of kinks, fetishes, aspaspects and combinations that may excite you, intrigue you, turn you on, or turn you off. Discovering these is a beautiful journey that goes far deeper than whether or not you like a thing. Understanding the why and the how, exploring what it is about a thing that speaks to you, brings a deeper understanding of who you are in ways you could never imagine. Learning Acceptance for others builds acceptance of self. As we discover our own likes and dislikes, we learn that what turns you on is not always what turns others on. Accepting ourself and our own personal preferences requires us to embrace the idea that YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK). Here in the lifestyle community, we don’t judge, don’t condemn, or shame what others enjoy, just as we would never want to be judged, condemned, or shamed for what we like. The vanilla world is full of instances of non-acceptance and persecution, but not here. Accepting others perspectives and desires as different than your own, helps you find acceptance for yourself, and is a powerful thing. When you can step outside yourself to see the struggle and understand it for why and why it is, you will be able to free yourself to understand yourself deeper and truly explore. To this submissive I spoke to, and others why may read this, I wish you a healthy, positive, and guilt free journey in the lifestyle. I hope you can embrace your pleasures fully and allow yourself to revel in them. As someone wise once told me, when you discover your “Freak Flag”, that truth you’ve found about yourself, Waive it high and proudly.

For more information see profile under same name...   Update:   Mother on month 7 of sleep therapy.  Yes it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE.  Meanwhile, I'm navigating a new normal.  Some days you just need to 'smile and wave', put in the induction earphones and carry on... I can always tell when something AMAZING is around the corner.  There is always that s q u e e z e just before.  This is a big s q u e e z e so I know it is going to be GREAT!  Looking forward to My minions coming lol  If this time has taught Me anything it is laugh cry do what you have to do and take no prisoners.  Never more true were the words than -to thine own self be true.  It's all you have at the end of the day and if you are really super lucky, you may have some company along the way.  Needless to say the squeeze in this life is just about choking the every living life out of Me.  With God leading the way, I follow the light fully armed. On a personal front I continue to be grateful for those who share their path with Me.  Each of Us is learning and growing in our understanding of ourselves and one another.  Layiing the foundation for the time to come has been invaluable and all of us are looking foward to what will be. In the meantime and until such time as the house is full, I am seeking and have availability to share in conversation after dinner most nights.

Thoughts on a new 'person' one step removed . Sending messages to new people is fraught with nervousness and trepidation as there is no real way to know how they will be received. A non-reply obviously shows something, but only if the sender knows the message was received to then be ignored. Age, sex, orientation, role, even distance, of both parties, will also give an indication of how it will be read and dealt with, but this can be offset by the BDSM world where some of the more obvious criteria do not apply so ‘strongly’. Asking the question(s) that you really want the answer to, but almost dare not ask or do not ask, does not make life any easier – for both parties. Being submissive or ‘overly’ friendly can lead to misunderstanding when replies are sent. Or lead to further messages to clarify the previous text ‘meanings’. Obviously, this is like real life too, social media is also full, maybe more so, of miscommunications. So, from the perspective of this writer, being: Male, semi Straight, Dom, Creative, of no discernible cult or type (unless being a keen biker counts), older than most, slightly shy and as arrogant as fuck concerning his own Domly skills. Writing a message and sending it out into the ether to land at a stranger’s mail box is still a thought provoking act. Therefore, after drafting a message, editing it, almost sending it before seeing ‘there’ and not ‘their’ so editing it again and then rewriting half of it you press the send key and sit back and try not to wait for the answer. If no answer appears after a week, or a month, then you don’t need to think about it anymore and file it under ‘ah well, that’s a shame’. If a reply appears, especially with witty words ‘linked’ to your (what you hoped were) witty words, then a whole new set of ponderables start to take form as you sit in front of your keyboard about to reply. Was the reply sent because ‘she’ is a polite submissive, because 'she' was a polite human being, liked the style of the message compared to the dross many send, or is ‘she’ actually interested in getting another message? So, message 2: More forward, Certainly. More confident, hopefully. An easy question or three, taken from their profile info to show you have read it, is a good idea. A little more information about ‘Me’ and even more about why the first message was sent – bravery test time. The wait begins again! If a quick reply this is either a good sign with answers and questions of ‘her’ own or a version of ‘Go away, I was polite once don’t push your luck’.If a long pause, then the normal questions nag at your lizard brain again until that ping sounds, and a reply appears – the previous 2 types obviously still apply. If the reply is positive then now it is time to stop pussyfooting around, ask the question, give your reasons why they really should say yes and agree, and, if using a useless forum, like FetLife or the million other internet sites, give them your email or phone number, for text or WhatsApp, for easier chatting. This will either get a happy 'ok' response or the ‘maybe later’ reply, which is not so encouraging, If you reach this point, then it should be fairly plain sailing to send the next message, getting to know them and even meeting or, obviously, putting your foot in your mouth and getting a 'goodbye'. Thoughts over, now just need the 'she' to see this in the hopes it helps with My communications.

What being a prey means for me Finding someone who will grow with me and pursue me always. Someone who enjoys the chase. Someone who will look for ways to outsmart me and capture me. Someone who will put in the effort to get me. Someone who craves me! Play wrestling, biting randomly and many other aspaspects appeal to me in many ways even though it's much newer than the other parts of me it is still there.

To the asshole who called me a royal bitch then blocked me so I could not reapond... I know you'll see this. I can see that you are still looking at my page. My response: "And you seem like a judgemental prick who puts no effort into a conversation. You just make assumptions, poorly apologize, somehow expect me to be super interested by or attracted to that behavior and fawn all over you, then hurl insults. Whatever." Background info for others:  I didn't respond to his lazy messaging fast enough so he accused me of ghosting in less than 3 hours on a weekday afternoon. I said I was busy and pointed out that most people have things to do on a weekday in the early afternoon. Then I asked him to be more thoughtful and considerate before talking to people. He said "sorry miss". The next message from him was insults, combined with blocking me so he can continue to live in a fantasy world were that behavior is okay.    To everyone looking to make connections. Be thoughtful with your communication.

Last profile wasn't showing. So here we go, i am looking for 2 females for poly, those who can take or not but will take pain, also 1 for domestic chores. I have a illness, so i live with my brother, so that puts most off, but you don't try, you don't get. If you can see past that, then great.

Remote Controlled - Part 1This is a fiction story based on a real event The year was almost over once again and Sally had no one to gift her bound and helpless form to. Another year had passed and every dominant man she had met was a no-hoper. Scrolling on her phone she looked mournfully at the parade of bound subs that filled social media. Tapping over to her dating profile she sighed. It took a lot of patience to filter through the inbox. Determined to keep trying she browsed the various messages she had received. It was the usual stuff - men with empty profiles saying 'hey'. Disappointed she pushed on through message after message until she saw one with a photo attached. Steeling her courage, Sally tapped the message desperately hoping it wasn't yet another unsolicited dick pic.To her surprise it wasn't. It was a picture of an app that she recognised. She used the app herself for one of her toys. As she took in the picture she realised that her username was displayed. 'Random Control' was a feature of her app controlled toys. A butt plug and vibrator she owned could be worn and then controlled by a random user of the app. Sure enough, this picture was coming from someone who she had chatted with as he controlled her toys! For a moment panic made her blood run cold. Was it creepy that he'd tracked her down on a dating site? What other profiles of hers did he know about? Semi-paralysed by this surprise it took her some time before she read the message to which the picture was attached. 'Control doesn't have to be random. All you have to do is ask.' Sally froze. This was out of the ordinary. How is someone meant to answer this? She gulped, but found herself unable to tap away from the message. She had to know more. Quickly she tapped through and read this man's profile. Thepicture wasn't amazing, but there was a very well written description of what this man was looking for. With every line Sally found herself drawn in further and faster. On the screen at least this man seemed like everything she was looking for. At least, right up until he used a single word - pantyhose. Sally's growing smile dropped. He was likely American. No Brit would use that word. Sure enough, on checking there it was - Bridgeport, Connecticut. Still, he deserved a reply. It was the most interesting message she'd received in weeks. 'I remember our chat. It was mindblowing. I'm sorry to say I'm not looking for an online relationship. - Sally' Dispondant, Sally closed the site and settled down for a lonely night. Streaming the latest reality show nonsense, her brain numbed and the familiar rut closed in. Moments later her phone buzzed. 'What is it about online that worries you? - Jonathan' 'Consequences, there can't be any when its all online. I can say I've done something but you have no way of knowing if thats the truth. Its just not as fun for me. - S' 'I understand. Are you up for another fun chat then?' Sally smiled. An online D/s relationship didn't get her motor running, but the thought of someone else teasing her with her toys really did. She quickly messaged back before hurrying to her toy chest. A touch of lube later and her plug and vibe were in. A few quick taps and she had the app open and connected to the man on the other end. His voice wasn't terribly deep. In fact he spoke very softly and gently. Almost careful with every word he chose to use. 'I really did love the message Jon.' 'It's Jonathan, not Jon.' He hadn't raised his voice at all to say this, instead he chose to set her toys to vibrate at their maximum settings. Sally breathed deeply as the toys caused her to let out a low moan. 'S..sorry Jonathan.' 'That's okay. Now you know.' The vibrations stopped as he lowered the control on his app. Then a second later, there was a barely perceptable rumble from her plug combined with a slow rhythmic buzz from her vibe. Sally gulped, he was good. 'You know Sally, there are other toys like this. Other ways a long distance dynamic can work.' But Sally bared heard, he was clearly skilled at controlling these types of vibrating toys. He was varying not just the intensity but the frequency and the patterns of her toys. 'Or maybe, even this type of play isn't something you enjoy as much as it sounds like?' The vibration stopped from both of Sally's toys. Snapping back to reality her hips were wriggling around, desperate for the good feelings from the toys. 'Please, don't stop now!' 'Well then Sally, answer me. Did you know that there are a lot of different long distance toys like this?' 'I'm sure there are. I don't think it would help though. Even in person, I can be bratty. I find ways to make it seem like I've done what was asked of me.' The vibrations began again, but this time at a very low level. Sally's hips writhed against the air, desperate to make the most of the sensations from the toys. She gripped her breats, teasing her nipples. 'What if I had a plan? A way of addressing some of your weaknesses? Would you be willing to at least hear me out?' 'I...I suppose...I could keep an...oh...oh.' Sally struggled for words as he played with her toy's controls masterfully. 'An open mind?' 'Oh god! Ye...ye...yes, and open mind.' 'I'm glad to hear it. Now, when you are close, do be a good little slut and ask me for permission to cum.' Sally's entire body began to quake as both the plug and the vibe filled her with sensations that felt amazing. Closing her eyes, she flipped to her front and ground her hips into her bed, trying to get more from the sensations of the vibe filling her. A few moments later, she was begging the male voice she knew as Jonathan for the permission to cum. He managed to play the controls so well that he kept her right on the edge of an orgasm for another two minutes. To Sally it felt like twenty, but before too long he said in a gentle voice: 'Cum for me Sally.'

Turn ons: good spelling and grammar, "your" instead of "ur," and a notion of what you, the prospective owner, have to offer. More on that last point. Your profile should somehow answer the question, "How will I make the slave's life better than it is now?" This site has slaves who are considering voluntary slavery, so you must make a pitch that would make them want to choose you. So many focus on their wish list: "You must be totally devoted to serving me, and have a job, and have no limits." Often that's the entire profile, though perhaps it ends with, "Contact me to learn more." How will you get a quality slave with a pitch like that? What will life with you be like? Can you make the case that you're worthy of trust? That your words are believable? Will life with you be in some way enriching? If you are unfamiliar, look up Maslow's Pyramid in Wikipedia. Is the slave's life with you going to provide more of the pyramid than they have now? If not, why would they it give up?

Eurythmics: Sweet Dreams “Some of them want to use you, Some of them want to get used by youSome of them want to abuse you, Some of them want to be abused.”

I am feeling so frustrated right now. Tony has tried to come and spend time, his job has him all over, and his struggling children are creating stress and anxiety. It is very difficult to not feel frustrated and sad.  I am patient  , and I'm beginning to lose that quality. I have so many things in the air and I miss his presence. At this time in my life I want peace , togetherness, a solid base. I'm tired of missing people in my life.  I miss my children, I miss my friends, I miss my swing dancing, I miss my sweet Mulligan, I miss so much.   I'm feeling exhausted and at times I just want to sleep.   I haven't had time to meet new people here. Swing dancing island option, I was spoiled with what I had in D.C. I'm interested in pickle ball, and it may be an outlet. I haven't played competitive tennis since 2012. I really enjoyed that. Dance is better for the brain and balance though.  

How can a str8 male fall in love with his Bull? This is a question that always calls my attention but lately it has become a surprising reality. For a Bull to pursue and obliterate any idea of str8 identity on a self proclaimed heterosexual male is a la or or of love. The Bull knows that this identity is misplaced but to convince the other male of this requires a deep knowledge of the male psyque.  Our society has done much of the work for us, str8 males (I said it before) admire sports figures to the edge of homoerotism. But of course that's admiration and it stops there. These males will follow a strong male to hell and back and allow any sort of intimacy with the leader of the band, actually they crave it. When they finally come to me I know there's a need a need that eventually could turn into love and that is a great feeling. However if one finds a male that is slowly falling in love not only giving you ownership of their bodies but also their feelings; that's a sacred charter that cannot be underestimated. Why? Because that male is into you and your dealings with him you are a model they can submit and surrender to. In short,  you've found a male bride and you must nurture that male and his feelings.  For the str8 male to acknowledge such feelings is confusing because is attraction, lust, respect, and the acknowledgement that he has fallen in love with the man and his phallus; but most of all the character and security it brings to his life. He is now realizing that the best place to be is anywhere his Man places him: between his legs, under him, or on his back awaiting the entry of the phallus that will change his life forever.  As a Bull you know he is yours  anyway you want that however, to the outside only him will feel your power and control. Even if he goes back to women which is an option if they still want to claim his str8 persona, he will mount them imitating you and doing it for you.    I had the pleasure of a baby named after me, and that’s the ultimate surender. It is his baby, now a teen, but every time he calls him he calls me. A male who loves you is a treasure to be had and a partner to nurture and possess beyond the physical.

Now that we have journals back, it's time for an update. This is now a poly household. We're set up with both a dungeon and a medical playroom.  The dungeon is amazingly well stocked with just about every sort of cane, flogger and whip you can imagine, and some things you probably haven't.  Anyone who's interested in play time or dungeon time should feel free to ask. If you're interested in more than just playtime, there are some things you should understand:  This is a KINKY HOUSEHOLD.  It is NOT kid friendly.  If you have kids, and have custody of them, we can talk and even arrange some playtime, but we're probably not going to be a good match.  This is a POLY HOUSEHOLD.  In order to make this dynamic work, everyone involved needs to be willing to compromise and work as a team.  This is a balance that takes work to maintain, and is incomptable with drama.  We're only interested in women who are willing to try to contribute to the dynamic and thereby add to the household.  Chaos is not welcome here.    If you are under 25, we don't expect you to have your life together, but we do expect you to be sane and healthy.  Freaky is encouraged, but have a grip of reality - you've got to start with reality before you plunge down the rabbit hole.  If you are over 35, still living at home and unable to take care of yourself, or still going out to bars and clubs every night you can to get blitzed and hook up, you need to grow up before contacting us.  I am willing to travel to meet, but if you're outside PA, you're going to need to do a video call.  We travel by private plane on the east coast of the US.  If this excites you great, I'd love to have another pilot in the household.  If this terrifies you, we're out of your league.  I'm sure there will be more coming, but this is a good start. 

Em (they/them), a disabled, nonbinary, Dominant human is looking for service creatures who want to be helpful and engage in service with someone who is very appreciative.    Tasks may include but are not limited to:   - Adventures in grocery shopping - Domestic assistance including but not limited to: dishes and kitchen care, laundry help, meal prep, and execution - Secretarial type work including but not limited to: admin type stuff and even just dictation, often regarding the podcast or other form of kink  education) - Grooming and beauty maintenance including but not limited to: bleaching and dying my hair, special occasions might call for doing my hair and makeup or helping me pick out clothes (and get into them if corset or leathers)   Requirements:   - Not bothered by 420 smoke (welcome to partake in the house) - Ok with big dogs (12 year old couch potato pittie) - Not a devotee, chaser, or “BBW lover” - I am more than my body. - I practice ethical nonmonogamy and currently have one partner, my husband. I am open to other relationships starting. Must be ENM or strictly platonic with me. - Open to all genders and orientations (except romance with heterosexual cis people as they wouldn't be interested in me anyway unless they saw me as a woman) - Age: 25-40 - Near Hutchinson, KS and willing to drive to me   Things I can offer in exchange: - a place to provide service that is meaningful and helpful - a space to be yourself in your gender and social expression - companionship - praise and appreciation  - education - training and skill development - advice - emotional support - tasks (toward personal growth) - accountability - sensual interactions (i.e. hugging, cuddling, playing with hair, etc) available if compatibility and connection felt and when negotiated. As a demisexual individual, I prioritize forming a deep emotional connection with someone before engaging in any kind of play or sexual interaction. I am also open to things staying platonic/casual. - kink play available to be negotiated occasionally if we happen to have an overlapping fit of interests.   I am into the idea of multiple people filling these roles as they are able. If you would like to apply, please read my profile (to confirm) and DM me introducing yourself and what you'd like to negotiate.    I look forward to hearing from you and seeing if we are a good match.  

What's in a name? Obligatory attention getting headline: Every time you say your Dom's name, you reinforce everything he is to you. I've been in this life for a long time now. I've been called many things, from Master/Daddy to everything else under the sun. What you call your Dom isn't just a cute pet name, it reinforces what he is to you every time you say it. Each name means something different, and when you use it, you’re shaping the dynamic between you and your owner. So here's what these names mean both to you, and to Them.   Sir Lets start with the basics. Here is how and when to use your Dom's name: - Yes, Sir - No, Sir - Please, Sir - Thank you, Sir - Sorry, Sir - Sir, may i... Sir is an honorary given to any random Dom out of respect to the position, not necessarily the person. Should the individual in the Dom position lose your respect, you may stop referring to him with that honorary title. The respect must be lost though, saying "it must be earned" is no excuse. While some, after collaring, choose to keep calling their Dom "Sir", most choose a new title that more clearly emphasizes their relationship roles.   Master When you call your owner Master, you’re telling him you want to feel possessed, controlled, and kept. It’s the title you choose to call your owner when surrender is what you crave, handing yourself over fully and feeling the thrill of being someone else's prized possession.   Daddy When you call your owner Daddy, you’re asking for more than just authority. you’re asking for safety, nurturing, and guidance. It’s discipline wrapped in comfort. You’re saying, “I’m yours, but I’m also protected.” For many, that mix of strength and softness is exactly what they need. There’s often a paternal craving behind it too, which is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Embrace your desire to be cared for, corrected, and cherished the way only a protective father could.   my Lord When you call your owner my Lord, you’re putting him above you. Not just as your Dominant, but as someone you revere. It’s about hierarchy, about structure, about finding peace in knowing your place beneath his dominion. It’s old-fashioned, sure, but it carries a kind of ritual weight that can be deeply grounding.   Sire When you call your owner Sire, you’re giving him the tone of nobility, but it’s not quite the same as My Lord. My Lord is reverent, almost worshipful; it places him above you in a way that feels ceremonial, tied to the safety you find in his dominion. Sire, on the other hand, leans heavier into command and authority. It’s the word subjaspects would use for a king, not just a nobleman, but the one who rules, whose word carries absolute weight. Where My Lord can feel romantic or devotional, Sire feels sharper, more commanding. Saying it is like kneeling at the foot of the throne and swearing loyalty, not just offering service.   Mister (Lastname) When you call your owner Mr. , you’re looking at him as a figure of moral authority. It’s like the strict teacher who praises when you do well and corraspects you when you don’t. You live for his approval, and you fear his disappointment. Punishment becomes penance; obedience becomes devotion.   Vicar When you call your owner Vicar, you’re placing him in the role of a guide, someone who leads you not just with rules, but with care. It’s a name that carries a sacred weight. Correction feels like absolution, rules feel like doctrine, and obedience becomes something almost holy. You’re not just following him, you’re finding both forgiveness and salvation through him.   Maestro This is usually for the more latin-oriented as Maestro is a Spanish name. The slave who called me this was a beautiful Nicaraguan who I had named "bonita". When you call your owner Maestro, you’re seeing him not just as someone in control, but as someone creating something with that control. Maestron litterally translates to "Teacher", but think conductor, artist, master craftsman. Think of yourself as a blank canvas, and your owner as the one who will shape you.   Every name you choose carries weight: Sir is about respect, and the starting point before a deeper title is chosen. Master is about possession. Daddy is about protection and nurturing. My Lord is about reverence. Sire is about command, your loyalty sworn to a ruler whose word is absolute. Mr. Lastname is about moral authority.</

STRANGE FRUIT 2026 A PIECE I WROTE ABOUT ALL THE BULLSHIT GOING ON THIS COUNTRY STILL.   SEEMS LIKE WE ARE STILL HUNGRY FOR MORE STRANGE FRUIT . EVEN IN 2026 THE VULTURES HUNGER FOR THE SWEET FLESH SLOW HANGING ON THE VINE . AS THE BIRDS GATHER AND FIGHT FOR THE TASTE OF THE FIRST MORSEL . BUT THIS FRUIT IS NOT AS SWEET AS IT SEEMS BECAUSE UNLIKE TRUE FRUIT THIS DOESNT HAVE THAT SWEET TASTE THEY NORMALLY CRAVE. THIS FRUIT HAS ALWAYS HAS BEEN POISONED FROM THE ROOT TO SOUL I MEAN SOIL , IT GROWS FROM.THE GROUND SOAKED WITH CENTURIES OF BLOOD, PAIN,AND HATE. A BREEDING GROUND WHERE NOTHING THAT IS MEANT TO THRIVE GROWS DESPITE ALL THE BIRDS AND ANIMALS MEANT TO CUT ITS LIFE SHORT AND STUNT ITS GROWTH .THIS FRUIT THAT HAS BEEN BRED THROUGH YEARS, DECADES AND CENTURIES OF BLOOD , HATE, AND DEATH. BUT THIS FRUIT RESILIENT . GROWN UNDER THE PRESSURE OF OPPRESSION AND BEATENED DOWN. EVERYTIME THIS FRUIT BEGINS TO FLOURISH AND STARTS TO GROW TOWARDS THE SUN. THE CROWS START TO GATHER AND THE MOUTHS START TO WET, AS THEY STARE IN RAVENOUS HUNGER AT THE DELICIOUS FRUIT, WITH ITS SWEET NECTAR SLOWLY DRIPPING TO THE GROUND. THIS FRUIT THAT ALL THE CROWS AND CROWDS OBSESSED OVER, DID ANY EVERYTHING TO GET THEIR CLAWS ON. THE MOMENT THEY OBTAINED THIS FORBIDDEN FRUIT THEY CELEBRATED BY RIPPING APART THE FLESH . GOBBLING UP ITS SWEET BUT BITTER FLESH RELISHING IN THE EXCTASY . THIS RARE DELICACY THAT HAS BEEN GROWN AND PICKED FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. EVEN THROUGH THE ROUGHEST OF CONDITIONS FROM EXTREME DROUGHT TO DROWING IN THE JUICES OF THE OTHER FRUIT THAT WAS LEFT HANGING ON THE VINE .YOU CAN FIND THIS FRUIT YEAR ROUND .THIS RARE FRUIT ON THE VINE EVEN IN THE HARSHEST WINTER. STILL HANGS AND SWINGS IN THE BREEZE. THIS BEAUTIFUL RARE FRUIT THAT THEY ALL CRAVE. COMES IN SEVERAL VARIETIES. PICKED AT DIFFERENT STAGES SOME PICKED BEFORE THEY WERE MATURE OTHERS LATER IN THEIR GROWTH CYCLE.THIS FRUIT THAT COMES IN MANY VARIETIES. LIKE A YOUNG 21 YEAR I MEAN DAYS OLD VARIETY CALLED KYLE, OR A 31 AGED VARIETY CALLED DAPHY. FOR THOSE WITH MORE MATURE TASTES THEY ALSO HAD A VARIETY CALLED NURUL. BUT IF THOSE VARIETIES DONT INTEREST YOU I'M SURE If WE TURN OUR HEADS AND WAIT. A BRAND NEW YOUNG FRUIT WILL APPEAR. FRESH ON THE LINE I MEAN VINE. YOU WILL KNOW ITS THIS SPECIAL FRUIT. BY THE GATHERING OF THE CROWS. LISTEN YOU CAN HEAR THEM HUNGRILY CALLING. CAU CAW!

Tonight Im sitting here typing remembering the past.This used to be my main life.It was not on fetlife but another bdsm site. Hours turned into years as I sat and waited for my first Master. . It was more than online but He kept me online . I was trained to wait. He was a Dragon.There have been other Dragons. They seem to find me or me find them. I rarely drink but I'm drinking and I'm in a mood but Im not drunk. I need to back up and say at least they name themselves Dragon. I have my own ideas of what Dragons really are. Im not being disrespectful. I just need to get things out before I explode. One is hardly ever here online. One does write and I want to write back and say more but I just cant. Im just going through so much stuff. I start therapy tomorrow. Yay * sarcastic tone* a vanilla therapist trying to help me with relationships etc when I know that they will have no fucking idea what bdsm really is.

 alenaslight