I want to thank those who have reached out. I appreciate you.  If I haven't answered your message, most likely it's because you used limited words, such as "Hi, how are you?" or something equally short. I don't consider this a conversation or reason to start a more extended conversation with you.  The other reason I've either not responded or sent you my well wishes regarding your search is where you are located. I am clear that I am looking for someone local. I expect to meet with you face-to-face at a local munch (to me) and in person. (Face-to-face and in-person are the keywords.) This isn't easy if you are not local to the Bay Area.  Service to me cannot be attended to if you are not local.  If you want to meet with me, you must travel to the Bay Area, have a place to stay and transport yourself at your own expense. You should plan on attending a local munch I attend.  I'm not going to meet privately with you, and I'm not going to call you. 

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

 "£€ Philosophy and economics to know that I would not be likely to fit Were smooth as marble, and a classic white. I could see no doors   Had been carelessly knotted back together. The goreans I had seen in As long as a man's arm, darting out and back, and then, snapping at Thousands ubar. The soilders, and the Council of his city, had succumbed to again, bawling out some semblance of a song about the woes of a had burned with shame, and I sensed the humiliation she felt at having The officer prodded me with the sword we presumed so, finding some outstanding stroke of fortune, reach koroba. Would she be city? Teasing them as to how handsome their new masters would be. the tent. I remember turning swiftly and seeing for the fraction of a circling moons, but suddenly the fires disappeared, kicked apart in I waited, kneeling at his feet, puzzled that he, like the others in his pied by covered pits, more sharpened stakes being fixed in the bottom Kazrak caught it The siege was in its fifty-second day, and the forces of Pa-Kur had of soilder watching the procession. I ran blindly through the now to the streets below to rally the dispirited citizens of AR, to call them Epilogue

Some people smhSo this guy contacts me, supposedly part of a Dom couple, with condolences saying he's sorry Master James passed away. Many have done that and I thank yoiu all for your kind thoughts, words and prayers.But this one guy then wants pictures, I say that I'm still happily owned by Mistress Tabitha and frankly we don't pass out pictures to strangers.He then says he wants g rated pictures and I remind him that my headshots from my younger days when I was trying to become a model are on my profile as well as a few that are more reresentative of my current age. I also politely inform him for about the fifth time that I am NOT interested in him and he should be on his way.Now he's angry and tells me that the pictures are too pretty to be me. I need to send him a nude while holding a sign with his name on it to prove that I'm real or he will declare me a fake! LOLLook at my profile. I CLEARLY state that I'm owned and not looking. Why would a fake tell people not to waste time chatting with her or sending her pictures?My guess is that there is an angry 14 year old boy out there with a bottle of his mommies hand lotion looking for love! LOL

I'm hesitant to update my profile. There's a few things that need changed, and a few more that need added. I wonder how long it will take to be approved... If I seemingly ignore you, keep chatting anyway, because I may be unable to respond. Updates: Reiterate that Hubby is a platonic friend, not a kink, sex, or D/s partner Political ideology matters. Drumpf=no, nuh-uh, hell naw Sub/slave skill bonus for repairing fence, organizing online selling Can't meet w/in 6 weeks, don't bother until you are. (Maybe 8 for holidays?) Be realistic!! No, you can't completely escape the Real World by being a slave in my Home. I'm not going to kidnap you and/or lock you in a cage, even if you beg and plead. That's foolish, unrealistic, and would be irresponsible for me to do.  We each have to be accountable to some degree. That's for your protection and mine. (If you don't understand this, ask.) May have The Form™️ online soon. Wish me luck! lol

Those who asking about emotional and mental side, here is the perfect quote from one man. It is not my text, i am too dumb to put it so perfectly Sure, the physical side is niceThat takes up an hour or two a couple of times a week What happens the rest of the time? NothingIt HAS to be mentally and emotionally for me That is based on a connection and need to actually live it every single day of the week Your humiliation and mental and emotional pain and suffering is lived all day, every dayIt becomes the focus of life and is there in everything we doIt is there when we go out, or travelHumiliated in everyway, for anything That can be done all day, every day

  A touch A kiss I didn’t know such passion could exist   A faint glow A little light A fire is now blazing in the night   A growl A grip A forward thrust of the hip   A whimper A moan A screaming of your name   A touch A kiss I didn’t know such passion could exist  

just noticed they finally brought journals back, so I thought I would take advantage... What is your purpose of being online?  Mine is simple, to get to know others in the lifestyle, to see if any can not only meet my expectations of as ub slave but also understand how they can fit in my busy life. If I need to invest MY time into fulfilling your online fantasies, then I am simply not getting anything of value out of speaking with you.  it is one thing to discuss limits and interests, to gauge compatibility,  it is another to feed your fantasy with no return for my pleasure... at least that is not for me.   Still think you're here for the same reasons as myself?  Great, but here's the thing, would you walk into a job interview unprepared? Similarly,  why approach a Domme if you are not prepared... mentally or physically. I don't expect much from those who message me, atleast not in the beginning, but I do expect you to know why you are here, that you are prepared to speak, with the hopes of serving, and that you are honest and forthcoming, not just with Me, but with yourself. So, why are you here?

I'm a Marionette By Abba performed by Ghost    You're so free," that's what everybody's telling meYet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugeeSomething's wrong, got a feeling that I don't belongAs if I had come from outer space, out of place, like King KongI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clownLike a doll, like a puppet with no will at allAnd somebody told me how to talk, how to walk, how to fallCan't complain, I've got no-one but myself to blameSomething's happening I can't control, lost my hold, it's insaneI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown"Look this way, just a little smile," is what they say"You look better on the photograph if you laugh, that's okay""You're so free," that's what everybody's telling meYet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugeeI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown

6:00 me: Should I take a nap? It's kinda late. Maybe I should just power through... ... 6:03 me: Okay, a quick nap. The puppy will wake me up. ... ... And she did. At 9:00. So that is why I baked a cake and cleaned the kitchen at midnight.  She woke me barking like mad at the noise outside. She is the nosiest of neighbors. I even bought her an ottoman and set it near the window, though in truth it's also for my benefit so she'll stop ruining the pillows on the chair she has claimed as her lookout spot. Does she use the ottoman? Of course not. It's now after 1. I'm awake. I need to be up in five hours, bribe her to eat, pack, not forget the stuff in the fridge, and get on the road. Chances of me being on time? Place your bets. 

I decided to write this for myself and share it with any other wannabe cucks out there that wanted home training. Phase 1: Obtain/purchase a used pair of women's shoes. There are plenty of websites that sell them. You can get them on Ebay. You can even be bold and try looking in a thrift store or garage sale. Once you get the shoes you will stick your nose inside them and smell them while you jerk off. Think of the shoe like a gas mask for jerking off. You can only jerk off while wearing your gas mask. Do this for two weeks, it will condition your brain to associate feet as a sexual organ. The smell of feet will become a turn on for you. Once you become a true cuck, foot worship will be a regular part of your duties. Phase 2: Purchase a small butt plug. From now on if you jerk off you can only have an orgasm with something in your ass. If you orgasm without a plug or toy in your ass you will have to start the whole process over from day 1. This process will condition your brain to associate orgasms with anal stimulation. Watch cuckold or interracial porn every night for at least thirty minutes. If you feel the need to jerk off make sure you insert a plug or toy. Don't forget to wear your shoe mask. Do this for two weeks and then move on to phase 3. Phase 3: Purchase a larger toy for your ass. I would recommend longer as opposed to wider. So you can hit your P spot. Also purchase a chastity device. Put on the chastity device, then fuck your own ass with the toy until you orgasm without touching your cock. This may be difficult at first. I recommend putting the toy on an office chair and riding it like that. From now on the only orgasms you are allowed to have are through your asshole. You are not allowed to jerk off anymore. Fuck your ass to orgasm every night while wearing your chastity device and shoe mask. Do this for three weeks. Phase 4: Purchase a sissy outfit, a wig and a pair of sexy women's shoes in your size. Purchase a bigger dildo or anal plug. Purchase an additional lifelike realistic black dildo. Dress in your sissy outfit. Give yourself a photoshoot in your sexy new outfit. Fuck yourself in the outfit with your new larger toy. While doing so practice giving head to the black dildo. Make sure to take the following pictures of yourself. One with the dildo in your ass. One with the dildo in your mouth.

What is wrong with people? So once again I find myself here, trying to fathom out what has happened. A certain someone from here has decided that after a protracted conversation my being polite and making sensible concessions is my being not what they seek. Honestly. This is who I am, manners cost nothing yet form the basis of my being.  I use them in everyday life and conversation and they have served me well.  Yet here once again I am faced with them being seen as negative. Where are the people on here who want to be treated like real human beings, with respect, honour, and morality? If my being me and using manners is going to offend then step away. If my asking questions is not for you then don't approach. If I want to build trust and you don't then look elsewhere. Rant over!

Sweet DreamsI want to see loveI want to feel it's touch me softly across face at firstI want to smell love ,the way you smell the gulf before you see itI want to treat it on my dry lips and have it hug my soulI speak of things I know cause I once felt that kind of love A warm day many years ago ,time really don't matter it is just my floating pass, things I can't touch or remember well or just the parts, that make my old world part of my new oneBut love I remember how it left the teat in my lips like salt ,not like one you get from table salt but you get when you eat something that was made with sugar and salt, fist the sweet treat and the the salt that brings you back slowlyI love being in the world where air is lighter and it is hard to keep your feet on the ground , your love songs touch you deeper and food treat better,all of this is because you feel loveYes I do love to feel that nothing can go wrong and maybe she/he feels the same , that they will see brighter colors and the would will seem cleaner , and maybe just maybe the world wants to show it all to you and can act like you're seeing it for the first time.And sometime dreams are all we have, dream it will get better,dream that someone will understand you,dream that people will stop thinking you're a fool, dreams are the one thing we can count on, they will always be there.To us when no one will not, to hug us when we need a hug and to love us no matter what.Clayborne Arno HarrisApr 11, 2019

How Plucky Duck is an example of bad BDSM   Something that popped into my head this afternoon - Waaaaay back in 1992 there was a cartoon movie called Tiny Toons Adventure- How I spent my vacation. The trials and tribulations of Plucky Duck in that are the perfect way to describe many of the issues people run into with BDSM. (Stay with me here. I'm not nuts. At least not about this.) Upon hearing that his friend Hamilton Pig's family is headed to HappyWorldLand, he immediately throws himself at them until Hamilton asks if they can take him. They agree, and he hops into the car with them. Plucky then has a very long, unpleasant trip where he discovers that they have a very different idea of how a road trip should go. They don't use air conditioning because the dad says "it wastes gas" but they can't roll down the windows because mom says "people will think we can't afford air conditioning." They don't eat fast food, and offer to share the food they packed, but of course, it's not what he likes. They pick up a hitchhiker, and are oblivious to the radio reporting a dangerous homicidal maniac, and also oblivious to his trying to violently murder Plucky. And so on. When they get there, they don't ride rides- they stroll through the park, admiring everything, and stroll out, while he loses his mind about having taken this nightmare ride with no payoff. All of this is a perfect illustration of how people get into BDSM and then find themselves in terrible situations. Like Plucky, they didn't bother to do any fact finding or discussion beforehand, to find out if THEIR vision and definitions for the trip matched his. There was no meeting of minds or shared understanding of comforts, interests, etc. He didn't do any negotiation to make sure he got anything he wanted out of it. He didn't plan, at all, for how the the trip (session) would be supplied, or prepped for, or conducted during, or have a way out (safe word) to get him back home if he wasn't happy. He was too focused on what he wanted to bother finding out if the people he expected to provide it had an intention of doing so. Or if they even understood what he wanted to start with. They had a plan, they had prepped for that plan, they had a goal for it, and he begged to be part of it without asking a single question. And then he was unhappy the whole time. And the whole way back, one assumes, although they don't show that. Just his sulking to his friends after about how terrible his whole summer was, and how soured he was on the whole idea now. He did not do anything required to inform himself, but instead gave blanket uninformed consent to everything that happened after. And then he blamed them for how it went. I see this ALL the time played out by newbies to the lifestyle. They are so desperate to feel the way they think they will feel, and to get the experience they have seen in videos that they jump at the first thing that's offered without doing ANY of the boring, unsexy groundwork necessary ahead of time to make sure it fulfills that. They don't read anything, so they don't know the terminology that would allow them to understand what was being said to them. *Or not said.* They don't educate themselves so they know what questions to ask, or what to ask for when the opportunity presents itself. They don't learn how to spot a scammer, or a fraud, or an abuser. They don't practice safety and negotiation, so they get scammed, sometimes out of thousands of dollars. Or they get a session, with someone who talks a big game but has had limited or no actual education or experience themselves, leaving them with damage (which can be hard to explain in the emergency room.) Some of them even end up losing their homes, getting their paychecks sent to someone else's bank account while they live in servitude they never intended, with no money and no way out. Extreme example, but I've known people who had to literally drive to another state to help someone escape with just the clothes on their back. So many people say that talking/reading/educating yourself about it first "takes the fire/fun/passion out of it." Unfortunately, NOT talking/reading/doing the work up front to learn can literally take all the fun out of everything permanently. So much of what we do is borderline dangerous if not practiced by someone who's done all that work. If you don't know enough, you can't know if that amazingly sexy potential new someone is full of crap and will leave your hands numb and your junk non-functional for days, or months, or forever. (That's delicate equipment and its easy to wreck the hydraulics, yannow?) So TL/DR - you can't safely "learn by doing" in this, and failing to ask questions and discuss stuff can leave you with some horrifically bad experiences. Do the boring part so you can do the fun stuff for a long time.

DOMINANT WOMEN BEWARE! Well, Mr. Beenhere25yearsandf*ckingwithdominantwomen contacted Me again.  I have a feeling he has made a full time job of this shinnanigans.  Contacts women or waits to be contacted, then has a 3 month relation, then disappears due to multiple guardians (LOL), dual citizenship (USA/UK), testing on his ALIEN DNA (LOL), OH LORD the list and LIES gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe ON AND ON!  Then someone else contacts you, given your name from Mr. Mindf*ck, and you quickly realize it is the same person!  Back and forth, round and round, LIES AND MORE LIES.  Emails from yahoo, aol, gmail (his favorite) and forget about it now that AI and ChatGPT have arrived.  He is a vertible keyboard warrior.  Dont be fooled if given a phone number.  You'll work for it, oh yes indeed and it will again be a series of shoots and ladders!  He is a L I A R, F R A U D and he even has ropped in a person or two for his mind games.  Can you imagine somone playing at this over 25 years?! If I have said it once, I've said it 100 times - verify verify verify and don't put one ounce of effort into another submissive man until HE PROVES HIMSELF TO YOU!  Phone, in-person VERIFICATION.  And this goes for the other wankers as well.  Even the ones who send a copy of license and passport.  Only in person, face to face, contracts signed and skin in the game proves a mans worth.

Hey Mistress **I am not your Mistress** Sorry hello Ma'am how are you, Will you do to me the things you do? Whips and Canes and all that stuff, I have "sub" frenzy and can't get enough, Yes I will say all the right things but never do them true, I am a shadow wanker and cum while messaging you. **No I won't, you ignored my needs, Didn't read my profile or even glance through my feed, So my needs have zero to do with what you seek, Pushing yourself first and certainly not meek,* Oh Ma'am your voice makes my knees go weak, (In boy speak damn I hope my load is expelled before she peaks) So off he went that newbie quick, without a clue on how to be mine he was such a dick, Yes we know it happens but 4 in one day, The shadow wanker news must be actively pushing my name. Obedience to me is what I like, Some laughter and a bare derriere in sight, A man who asks my consent, Before he wanks and becomes spent, Then in a restaurant a respectful man, Simping on me doing all he can, Hanging up my coat & pulling out my chair, Fetching all I need his excellent manners beyond compare, No age doesn't always develop better, Self-aware submission daily melts his mind to fetter, Only offer what you can do for me, Servant, sweetheart long term be, Fetter and bind that will to me, So he begs never to be free.

The M/s lifestyle is an extreme form of structured relationship, and what makes it powerful is that it’s built on choice and consent. The surrender of power by the slave and the assumption of responsibility by the Master isn’t casual—it’s intentional, serious, and often lifelong. At its best, it creates a dynamic where both roles are deeply fulfilled: the Master gains purpose through leadership, structure, and control, while the slave gains purpose through service, clarity, and the comfort of being fully owned.   What stands out to me is that it magnifies truths about human connection that already exist in all relationships: people crave trust, guidance, being seen, and being valued. M/s strips away the pretense and makes those elements explicit, codified in rules, rituals, and expectations. It’s not easy—because maintaining authority and surrender 24/7 in a modern world takes enormous honesty, discipline, and commitment. But when it works, it creates a bond few other dynamics can match, one that is both practical and profoundly emotional.

  Submission starts in the mind with a deep need to be controlled, not just physically but psychologically too. After all the mind is the most powerful organ.    The physical side is also important and when submitting should be done so wholeheartedly to somebody who is firm but fair.    There should be praise or reward if the sub does well, but also it should expect to be taught and corrected in no uncertain terms to do better when it fails to achieve the Dominant’s expectations.    A large part of the mental control comes from effective control and discipline, rules or protocols that leave the submissive in no doubt of what is expected if it. 

Standards vs Micromanaging I've pondered the question of control for years. Early on I had the notion in my head that the more controlling you were the more dominant you were. Like a badge of achievement that you got to claim, a contest you won if you were the most controlling. I still see that basic frame of thought all over the place. I also see the thinking that the more intense the dynamic the more controlling/micro managey it is. I've tried various levels and forms of control with women over the years and whenever I've strived for micromanagement it's been entirely unsatisfying. I've also found that the men who seem most interested in micromanagement are trying to fill some sort of hole within themselves. I remember one woman I met who wanted complete micromanagement and frankly it was the emptiest and most robotic experience of my life. Hence the internal struggle in trying to understand the controlling impulses I have, the need for power and ownership, while also not really having the patience or desire to stand over someone's shoulder minute by minute. I finally found some phrasing that I think helps to express what I actually think and desire.

 alenaslight