The sunset is rapidi will miss the intensityof blazing orange and rusted yellow.Hints of glorious red and hued pinksdissapearing; retreating fast the orb.Just one blink and half a century waslost behind the soft slopes of purple hills.Now, only a few clouds speak of whatwas once here. Their imperfect shapesreflecting a blaze of fire that hides in silence.i cannot handle Your silence.i will faithfully wait for You to rise and return.~ dirtydarling

Things I listen to when I'm alone  Black Lab - This Night LP - Muddy Waters Bishop Briggs - Like a River edIT - Ants Plastic Bertrand - Tout Petit La Planete Dead Can Dance - The Host of Seraphim Trance Mix Helium Vola - Omnis Mundi Creatura Switchblade Symphony - Clown Collide - White Rabbit Nine Inch Nails - Closer Stabbing Westward - Inside You VNV Nation - Illusion Assemblage 23 - Damaged Marilyn Manson - Sweet Dreams  Depeche Mode - Stripped K's Choise - Virgin State of Mind VNV Nation - Beloved Afro Celt Sound System - Release Me Jilala I - Nocturnal Ritual · Moroccan Spirit Reinhardt Buhr - almost anything he does works Raphael - Healing Dance

Guys be like, “men are visual creatures.” Ok sir, than why do you look like that? Maybe a lotta fellas don’t have mirrors at home. I had to be honest with a male- co worker yesterday and explain to him that a lotta times the women THEY WANT, that don’t want them, might not be due to their financial status. A lotta times us women might not find you physically attractive (men never wanna consider this). Although your grandma and momma been telling you how handsome you are your whole life (they’re supposed to BTW) That doesn’t mean that women who you cross paths with on a daily basis look at you and think,“yea, I’d like to feel his penis inside of me, or be romantically involved with him”. This explains why it’s some not financially stable men that stay with a fine ass Boss Chick. Some men can get outta prison Tamar and be living with lawyer in her water-front condo & driving her Benz truck within a week. Women probably look at him and immediately get the, “oooouuuu shit affect” aka “a lady boner”. Believe it or not us women see fine ass men and can get erect too. Women’s erectile response is similar to men’s. Except internally, our clitoris swells like a penis. Our vagina’s become lubricated and expand in length and width. Some of you just don’t have the panty dropper affect on the women “YOU WANT”  As much as they talk about women, Many men haven’t kept themselves up. They don’t work out so they’re shaped like a bag of laundry, AND MY GOSH WHEN THE LAST TIME SOME YOU HAD A DENTAL EXAM?? And overtime this has disqualified them from the free coochie list. I know it’s hard to hear, but for some of you…THE WOMEN YOU DESIRE, don’t look at you and wanna F***.

I am not looking for casual, short term or long distance anything.  If that's you move along With you an an experienced Slave or Submissive on a daily basis ( not solely a play bottom for the bedroom = no thanks) who lives in London/Essex/Kent. Don't bother if you are more than 2 hours from those locations. 

Are there straight , masculine,  professionally successful men that would willingly be committed to become a slave/submissive in a FLR TPE relationship ?   I am earnestly curious to know if those type men exist out there. Most RT inspections I have chosen to set them up as dates. Quite interesting to see who's willing to be who they say they are and quite literally go the distance and drive/fly to get a chance to serve at My feet.  the princes pretending to be submissives and only desire is to be charmed, woed and courted as a vanilla Woman into submission tickle Me.  Please do not have issues with who you say you are, or attempt to charm or win Me over while pressing the breaks. Sort out your issues (age, status, financia ones, logistics) before even attempting to message Me.   "thank You so much for meeting me yesterday. You are truly charming and a Woman who knows exactly what She wants - and that is a dream come true. You are of course also very beautiful and desirable as a Woman - quite delicious actually!" Last compliment from a slave. Who after dinner cowardly simply just walked away. Smart move, rather disappointin still.   

I again don't know why I am writing this, except for the fact it lets me get some thoughts on [digital] paper and prevent me from doing something else im *supposed* to be doing.    So in 7 days, Andrea should be getting dressed to go to a girls night out. That sentence should not be as scary as it feels now that I've said it.  I want to go out for the night as a woman. I know I am going to have my stockings and bodysuit under my jeans and sweatshirt, changing at an undisclosed location before the party. Probably going to pack my pumps but still am undecided on that. Choices. Choices cloud my brain. I know Andy is an awkward dirty old man who can enter most conversations. I dont know who Andi is. Does she lead with jokes? Does she put her hair up, or keep it down? Necklace? Earrings?    I want to do this but as the 168 hours start counting down, more and more mental stress starts to slip in. I dont know if i should pack some stockings to make my boobs look bigger, or if i should go as is?    How do you girls do this daily?

Part 2  So we moved to a new bigger house and soon I discovered the brothers that would start me down the path that turned me into what I am today. So the brothers slightly older were loud , bold and of course very dominate. For the first few months things were normal , but soon things took a decidedly darker turn.   Things started with them hazing me at school , and the long walk from the bus stop . On the bus they didn't know me but as soon as we got off at the end of the street they would start , and when the girls that lived next to their house were there they puffed up and would show off , having me carry all the books , and taunt me.. I was just happy for the attention... and I got a lot of it from them, especially when summer vacation came from school . That's when things became intense.  At first it was fantasy role play , but  there was always some excuse to tie me to a tree or tie me and lead me through the forest that was behind our houses . Within a few weeks,  the clothes were off when I was tied, and they would leave to go home and get lunch , but always return with something for me. that I had to eat without hands. Then around the middle of that first summer the boys got a tent and set it up in the woods by the house,  far enough away to be partially hidden , and keep curious parents from dropping in.   The tent is where my training really began. From simple ties.  To elaborate  ties , to whipping with branches , to inserting things in me , the summer flew by and I finally felt I belonged , I felt the brothers cared for me , and wanted me , and I wanted to please , I ed to nothing for fear I would again be alone if I did. I remember feeling it was wrong somehow, but I didn't care , I was wanted, and that was all that matter. As things continued to progress they seemed to take good of their roles and the pain became more intense as the whipping increased in both duration and force . The  s I was to take and hold inside became bigger. One day one brother had me tied over a stool  in the tent and was working a candle in me. After he had covered me with the hot wax  from the same candle. when the other brother came over pulled my hair to raise my head and stuck his crotch in my face I could feel his hard cock under the jeans as he rubbed across my face.. I moaned and bucked forward as the candle went deep , and I was pushed into those jeans ,I could feel the heat , and the dampness from his precum. That was to much I guess and before I knew it his pants were off and his hard cock was pushing against my lips I felt a sharp pain as a paddle came down hard on my ass,  and I opened my mouth to protest and it was immediately filled with a hard  cock.  It made me gag and my eyes tearup , but it felt good and he was holding my head , and telling me to relax and how good it felt , so me being the submissive I am, i relaxed into the feelings and took as much of him as I could . He held my head firm , and began to stroke my mouth Stopping occasionally so I could catch my breath , and he could make sure I was alright. It made me feel good , wanted and in my own way loved.  Upon seeing this the other brother started rubbing his hard cock on my ass and between my  cheeks. He took out the candle and put something cool over my hole and pushed his fingers in and moved them around to spread what he had applied , next I felt something hard and warm push against me and begin to slide in , it was about the size of the candlethat was just removed.  But softer , I felt him slide in until his body was hitting mine. It hurt not bad , but an exciting hurt . It was something crazy, and naughty , but felt so good . All at once  things began to flow ,and each alternated their thrusts so I was being bounced between the two hard cocks inside me I had two hands on my head , and two on my waist pulling me deep in each direction. I felt wonderful despite the pain,  I relaxed and began to not only enjoy it but make it better ,I used my tongue and lips on the hard cock in my mouth , and  I began to contract my muscles to squeeze the cock in my ass . To soon the brother fucking my ass began to come, I didn't want him to pull out so I ground back on his still hardcock , and kept him inside until the other brother came in my mouth. It was hot and tasted strange , both brothers fell back to the floor of the tent laughing , that laugh you have when you just finished a great orgasm . Me I was still bound to the stool  but I was squirming , holding my mouth open wanting more . I had changed during those  last few minutes , and became a sexual animal ,  lost my innocence, virginity and any dominance  that might have remained.  I felt more loved and wanted than I ever had before and I knew I was meant to serve and destined to be a toy for hard cocks , and much later wet pussies, but that's a story for another day .  So the brothers fucking me became a daily thing that summer , and would spend many nights camping out tied in someway usually covered on cum.  When school started things were different , I wasnt hazed,  the brothers treated me like a prized pet , taking care of me protecting me , making me feel I belonged.  Sex became more rare , only ocassionally away from the tent  and maybe on weekends as the brothers began to have other Activities and friends , we had several more summers , but none as intense as that first one when they brought me out . By the last summer with them I was insatiable. I was addicted and they knew it . They begin to have other freinds join our camp outs , and they would always have me pleasure their guests,  one time I time I remember they had several freinds over , I was made to jerk off in a bowl in front of all of them , then suck each one until they came each in turn adding their cum to bowl. Then I was made to lap the cum from the bowl and move on all fours  while they all talked and drank some liquor one of boys took from his home . Soon I was tied , and once again the center of attention as I was fucked, and whipped until everyone fell asleep . This was one of the last times we were together , they had both grown and had girlfriends , so I was not as important , they did have one more surprise for me before we were done . This starts another chapter in my life ... for next time . 

Master's WritingsDo We Force or Do We Cultivate Submission?As Dominants, do we take or do we nurture? Do we force or do we cultivate? Do we allow for discovery and awareness or do we force a submissive to become the vision of submission we held in our minds before even meeting them?Nearly every Dominant I have ever talked to has a fantasy or a story about "taking" a submissive. We hold an ideal in our mind of what a submissive should be like, act like and perhaps even sound like. But do we truly, as Dominants, cultivate a submissive to find their own unique, natural path to their truest self?I believe in guiding a submissive, there is an easy road and a hard road. And like all things the harder road will always produce the richest results. The easy way is to take, force, and command them to fit into a predefined mold. For a skilled Dominant, grooming a submissive this way may be swift, but shallow, suitable for play, but not for a lasting dynamic.The only submission I find worthy of my time and energies, is one that is freely given, honest and genuine, where the submissive understands why they have chosen to submit. I find there are several critical aspaspaspects that are always part of this "harder" and, what I believe to be, a more fulfilling road. Though it might sound manipulative, it is not when done openly and honestly with the purest of intentions toward your submissive.Understanding: One cannot dominate another without knowing the person. One must understand the individual, both the vanilla and the kink. You should spend time to get to know how they think, what they believe, and the motivations behind them all. Share freely of yourself as well to create mutual understanding and build trust. Seek to discover the things that have shaped their life, brought them to the lifestyle - fears, joys, struggles, and fantasies. Each truth either of you share, unlocks a clue about how best to bring them out of their shell and open them up.Engage the mind before the body: The lifestyle and all its kink, when done right, will always be vastly more mental than physical. So many of the things we do here require deep trust, openness, and communication. I know you have heard this all before, but have you thought about what cultivates such trust? It is the mental closeness that comes from sharing, talking, connecting, explaining, and engaging in ways that are respectful of the thinking being standing in front of you, and generous in the giving of yourself. It is the understanding of how a mind works that reveals their blocks, their turn-ons, their fears, and the past damage that continue to color their present self, for good and for bad. As Dominant, be inquisitive of what takes place between their ears, not just between their legs and always engage the mind before you touch the body.Cultivate their awareness of self: In order for any of us to participate fully in the lifestyle, one must have an awareness of who we are, what we want, and why we want it. Few have taken the time to fully explore this in a meaningful way. If you have not, I encourage you to do this for yourself. Ask at least 3 why's after ever truth you think you have uncovered. Dig, explore and be curious. Don't be satisfied with superficial awareness but strive for the hidden understanding behind each “why”. Then when you have a better understanding of yourself, help your submissive explore in this same way. No judgment, no shame, no allowance for them to become self conscious or hide from a hard truth (of course in a supportive and respectful way that allows us all to share in our own time - some truths are really hard to share). Remain open, honest and welcoming. Create a safe place for them to share all with you. Don't lead or channel them to a specific place but allow the discovery to be organic. There is beauty in watching a flower unfold on its own. Question, reflect, explore and require total honesty as you go deeper. Only in this way can you guide them to an awareness of their most authentic self.Build confidence: Few dominants speak of the power of a submissive. I find that there is enormous power in the confidence and submission of an submissive. To know your most authentic and natural self is one of the highest forms of enlightenment I can think of. As a Dominant, I see it as our job to build that confidence, not break them down.It has been my experience that as you begin working on this fourth aspect, all of the work you have done comes together to provide you a depth of overall understanding of your submissive and quite frankly, they will, and should, understand you as well. I have always seen the yin and yang of D/s and M/s relationships being a growing together rather than a forcing to comply or taking of a submissive. There is no sweeter fruit than the fruit that is given freely and for an s to give themself freely, without reservation to a Dominant who truly "knows them" is priceless beyond compare. Once you have tasted such fruit, I doubt you will ever settle for less.A word of caution: This is powerful guidance, and not to be engaged in lightly. We do not use this for manipulation or deceit. We engage openly and honestly in order to seek the same in our partners. If you, yourself, are not yet ready to be fully open with your partner, please do not attempt this, you will only cause pain and emotional harm when you cannot reciprocate the openness that you have worked to create.For those on both sides of the slash, I wish you understanding and beauty and hope this helps in some small way in your life.

Devote yourself to serving womanhood Be accommodating to her Respect her authority Be emotionally supportive Be a good friend Do all her domestic chores Buy her things Transfer your wealth into her possession Be grateful to serve her Serving her is like being in Heaven Give to her expecting nothing in return Massage and worship her wholeheartedly Be devoted to her happiness Be meticulously faithful Be attentive to her desires Let her do what she wants Think of her pleasures as sacred Let her enjoy other men as she wishes Her complete satisfaction is your top priority Rejoice in her happiness Respect her decisions Follow her instructions Be amazed at how wonderful she is Revere her as a Queen Kowtow to her everyday Your long term chastity is a blessing for her Worship her as a Goddess Let her know she is your superior Embrace a female advantage lifestyle Accept female superiority as reality Vow eternal allegiance to enacting female supremacy

DO NOT ASSUME THAT I HAVE JUST GHOSTED YOU!  If you have messaged me, especially multiple times, and you see that I haven't responded or opened your other messages, do not assume that I have stopped talking to you or that I don't wish to talk anymore.  My life is a tad crazy right now, but for anyone I wish to not speak to anymore, I do let them know or they were told prior of why they were blocked. YOU WILL KNOW, & BE TOLD THAT THE COMMUNICATION IS FINISHED!

It is important to know that while I am seeking, finding and sharing, My time is not My own and I can and will only continue to engage those who understand and accept these circumstances for what they are - limited. I am a full time caregiver.  Not part time, not some time, not the times I choose.  I have minimal pockets of time, not of My own, when I am able to engage those who wish to be a part of My family and household and life.  Once you are here and serving, we are full time engaging and living these moments together. It's tough.  I get it - BELIEVE Me.  However it does not change that your position is to make yourself available to Me at MY times of availability.  This will not be a hurried process, nor will it be slow, but I am not free to just get up and do the hokey pokey any ole time! If you wish to be considered, at least have the ability share when I am available and understand that when My charge is unwell, everything goes full stop for about two weeks while I nurse and care for MYSELF and My charge. Just a little information for those who have no clue about Alzheimer's I've included some information below. -Any trauma to the head:  1. letter from the IRS or arguement, 2. head cold, COVID, headache, 3. head hit on the corner of the t.v., fall off a bar stool, slip on ice - these are all significant, affect the head, and depending on the intensity and duration of the impact, determines how long it will take to recover. https://www.alz.org/help-support/resources/care-education-resources For those who care, Mum had covid and is doing much better.  It will be another week or so for full recovery - and yes, I am relatively okay, considering. A grateful thank you to those men who continue to display great character and worth to Me and in turn, to Mum.  There is one who continues to provide strength on the most darkest of days. 

ALL ABOUT MY CFNM TEA PARTIES  For years women have been sexually ified in magazines, on social media and in daily life. But what happens when the rôles are reversed, what happens when the tables are turned and men are ified by women?  Most alternative events ify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back! Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their wine and enjoying the entertainment. Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party every month for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again! Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and ify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.  Notes: My parties do not have the express aim of being a dating service, but naturally, long lasting connections are often made. The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party is not generally suitable for couples as a fluid dynamic is necessary to achieve the perfect decadent dichotomy. It is also extremely inclusive and an absolutely safe and comfortable environment for single ladies attending on their own who wish to explore alternative scenarios in situation where they will be supported. As such, it is obviously not suitable for hen party like groups of ladies.** All guests (both male and female) at the Tea Party will either need to be known personally by myself or will need to contact me with some brief details about themselves and a face photo so I know who they are. All in the strictest confidence and with the ultimate of discretion ;)  The ACADAMAY - THE ONLY CFNM IN EUROPE.  THE FRIENDLIEST, CLASSIEST, MOST INCLUSIVE KINKY AFTERNOON EVER.  DISCERNING LADIES, RELAX AMONGST YOUR PEERS!  IMPECCABALE GENTLEMEN ONLY MAY APPLY TO SERVE THEIR SUPERIORS  BDSM FRIENDLY, BRING YOUR TOYS  HIGHEST DISCRETION AND PRIVACY GUARANTEED Email: acadamayevents@gmail.com SOME REVIEWS! This Tea Party was a riot💃🏽- so many worthy 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆! Thank you Mistress May once again for letting us have such a good time. Miss V Thank you for a lovely evening Master May. I was thrilled to win the Christmas entertainment. You and the ladies are as cool as fuckMark N0. 3 Thanks to @Master-May for some brilliant organisation. Female empowerment. Males humbled and made to serve in a variety of ways. For my part I was stripped, plugged, displayed and disciplined by some amazing dommes. Ordered and sometimes f***** to lie face down on the bed, my naked body would be casually groped, stroked and intimately touched by any number of ladies who took the fancy, and plenty did. I was reduced to nothing more than their playtoy - sexually ified, casually degraded, all while they sipped wine and made conversation with each other. A thoroughly humiliating experience and I've never felt more turned on in my entire life. DEE & Miss El Yes a great evening love it so many classy women ??Bum is now very sore ?? Jon  I just wanted to say a massive thank you for such a wonderful event last night! I had an absolutely fantastic time! I've been 3 times now and it's always the highlight of my month. Ms. A

LongTerm Chastity The waves of denial come and go.There are days when i forget that i am locked up, then a wave of reality hits and the feeling of helplessness and inferiority pound on my psyche.The need to be teased, aroused and denied as others enjoy their sexual freedoms intensifies..i started this journey out of curiosity and now i am overwhelmed with the need to be locked.i have gone back to my original device. It is open and i can keep myself clean without removing it.i am wondering if i should forgo any shaving, thus eliminating any reason for the occasional unlocking.Thoughts of making this permanent and irreversible have entered my mind. It would be easy enough to do: Hex button Stainless Steel screw, a tap, Locktite 266. (Don't forget to round out the Hex hole with a f=drill bit after it is tightly in place, to render the Hex key useless.) .Yes, the thought has crossed my mind..........a few times..

Oh this is a good one. Pay attention.  Wake up Drink 1 litre of water (2 glasses) Get out and walk at a steady pace, low intensity for 35-40 minutes Stretch for 10-15 minutes Drink a glass of water, then Eat breakfast, which is most protein. NO CARBS @ Breakfast. Examples: a. 3 egg, ham & cheese omelette  b. Cottage Cheese and 4 slices bacon c. Breakfast sausage and 3 eggs Light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Breakfast. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. About an hour later, Workout if you're going to. Best to do weights & lifting in the morning. Adding resistance 😈 training, increases your lean muscle mass, which in turn burns more body fat. 3-4 hours later, drink a glass of water, then have Lunch. Equal thirds of Protein, Carbs and Fat. Try to get 1 serving/cup of veggies in there. Examples: a. Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and broccoli b. Sandwich with cold cuts, chicken breast, roast beef, or whatever. Get extra tomatoes & lettuce. c. Roasted 1/2 or 1/4 chicken, steamed veggies and a sweet potato, fries, mashed potatoes, rice, hummus & pita, or a side of pasta salad. d. 2 item combo Chinese food: chicken, pork, beef with noodles or rice e. A burrito or wrap: go for the gold and get guacamole, as long as there's a carb, a protein and some sour cream (fat) in there. f. Pizza: the cheese is the fat, the crust is the carb. Now do it up with the protein and veggies. If you're going to have something naughty, do it towards the end of Lunch: a few pieces of chocolate, cake, cookies, soda, donut, you get the idea. Another light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Lunch. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. Mid afternoon snack, IF, and only IF you feel like you need something before dinner. This should be no more than 2 - 3 hours after Lunch. Have a light smoothie vs a "sugary juice." The goal here is: a base of coconut water or milk, AND mixed fruit, AND some deep green leafy vegetables like Kale, Spinach, Celery tops, etc. If you're able to add peanut butter and/or Greek Yogurt to it for the protein, even better! Drink a glass of water about an hour after the smoothie to flush it all through and out of your system. Get on your feet, stay active, do some sort of physical activity after the smoothie for at least 5 - 10 minutes. Dinner, anywhere from 3-5 hours after Lunch. Drink a glass of water before Dinner. The idea here is little to no carbs. Load up on veggies, and have some form of lean and mean protein. Think free range, wild caught, grass fed, etc. A few really good Examples: a. Roasted/Grilled/Pan Seared chicken, fish, beef for pork, AND 2 servings of steamed or baked veggies, or a salad. b. A huge salad, AND add the roasted/grilled protein above to it. c. You could have a Denver Omelette here with lots of veggies if you wanted, AND a nice big salad. d. Salmon/Tuna/Fish with veggies, AND a big salad. Try to be active, get out for an evening walk or bicycle ride, do some sort of low intensity physical activity after dinner for at least 30 minutes. Don't just sit down or plop on the couch. Do something. One big note, try to have and finish dinner at least 4-5 hours before bed. Go to Bed near hungry. After dinner, drink a glass of water every hour for a couple hours if you can. But stop a couple hours before bed, otherwise you'll be waking up to pee all night. Sleeping on an empty (or as close to near empty) stomach is important. This fasted state allows your body to recover, repair damaged cells and get rid of the bad ones. You'll notice better Growth Hormone production while sleeping in this manner, and more sex hormone release (estrogen for women, testosterone for men). Finally, believe it or not, part of the process of vaporizing body fat happens in your sleep, IF you sleep in a fasted state. For use as energy (the process of recovery and repair), your body will convert stored fat into air, that is then expelled out your lungs as you sleep throughout the night. Thanks for your time, and I hope you learned something. 

  Do you have an all consuming foot fetish? If so, you could be the foot slave I am looking for. Duties to include full pedicures, moisturising, massaging and stroking etc. you may also be used as a foot stool should I so desire.  you must be be no further than an hour from me ( East Sussex ) as weekly visits will be required if not more. Shortlisted, you will be given my location and required to meet Me over coffee or wine, depending on my mood. Reply with FOOT SLAVE in the title and garnish me with why you should be considered. One line messages will be deleted. Stand out from the crowd.  M M 

I've been reaching out to more people irl and making some connections. Over the weekend there was a very impromptu long edging session with one of my friends. It was insane because I didn't expect anything and he surprised me by having so much restraint while also being bricked up for several hours. There wasn't any heavy handedness or stripping in fact we were clothed the whole time. Being ace and also a domme I very much do not cater to sexual gratification or allow people my body. Nearing the end I allowed him a boob grab which lead to me squirting milk all over my shirt....he  ruines  his shorts 🥰 There was about an hour of after care talking about boundaries and trauma and him opening up about himself and thanking me for letting him be vulnerable with me. I also got to take a short nap and decompress from that. He offered to treat me to dinner the next day but I had other plans  I really value being able to be a safe space for people who don't hold entitlement over my time or body.  I really enjoy using sessions to address frustrations and emotions for people.

Now that a vast majority of the 'Oh Hey journals are back!" have been done, lets take a minute to update this.   So heres the gyst of what I would LOVE to find, in an ideal world and ideal time...  We want a cis female slave.  Males are good FOR OTHER USES but thats not what I am looking for as a priority, there MAY be that option but remember the use I have for you is seveirly limited. The slave that I am lookin for needs to understand that I PRESS HARD for information.  I WANT you to ask questions and am dissapointed when you just answer in 1, 2, or 3 word answers.   I will NEVER be with anyone without birth control.  I as the Master, may be having that issue taken care of, of my own accord, because I already have one daughter, who doesn't live with me, and I dont want any more children. Otherwise, any prospective slave should read our full profile and write back. male slave/s be known that if you are not local there is little to no chances for you..  Even local males, you have a purpose,  yes, but o e that is not domestic or sexual,  and to be honestMOST of the male slaves that have come forwardare not even appealingto the eyes.  Now as to the current update... Mouse has left my service as of Dec 14th. I FOUND a new appartment, so my search for a slave has resumed, again read my profile CAREFULLY because I will call you on it lol. I dont know how many times I have had to say this...  If you are INTERNATIONAL do NOT boter to write to me, male, female, rich, poor, doesn't matter, international relocation is a hassle and with Covid GOOD LUCK getting a flight over here.

A Soldier Transformed: In the shadowed depths, a fear resides, Of losing control to the darkness inside. Memories of battles, cold and stark, Of a soldier's heart, hardened and dark.   The echoes of war, they still remain, Haunting thoughts that cause you pain. Afraid to slip back into that abyss, To lose your grip, to once again dismiss.   But remember, dear soul, you've come so far, You've journeyed through the wounds and scars. Strength now lies in the light you hold, A beacon of hope, a story untold.   Embrace the fears, let them fade away, For in the present, a new path may sway. Your heart can thaw, your spirit mend, No longer a soldier, but a soul to tend.   So fear not the darkness, embrace the light, For within you burns a flame so bright. You're not just a soldier, you're a man reborn, With a heart that beats, not hardened or worn.

Cheeky Observation:   Are some men merging the lines between the back-packing hostel lifestyle with submission? I am noticing men from Europe and India contact me and claim to be submissive. I also notice they have this assumption they can stay with me in some kind of exchange student lifestyle with no plan as to how they settle in the UK or how they are going to get a job. No women dominant or submissive wants to deal with that sort of nonesense. Regardless if your submissive or dominant you can still behave like a decent respectable man. 1. Being submissive does not mean you don't hold manly values 2. It just means lean towards a gentle nature, it does not mean your a freeloading tramp. If your looking for a back-packing lifestyle please just contact the YMCA, contact some Bistro's looking for extra kitchen staff but don't expect me to be impressed if that is your lifestyle.    

a fresh bdsm test for you: == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Exhibitionist  100% Submissive  100% Girl  91% Degradee  88% Experimentalist  84% Ageplayer  84% Rope bunny  82% Primal (Prey)  80% Slave  69% Brat  65% Masochist  58% Voyeur  42% Vanilla  37% Pet  36% Non-monogamist  0% Switch  http://bdsmtest.org/r/PyvQrePt

Regarding safewords and such... saw a journal post that caught my attention. My two cents worth: Don't rely on colors or even simple code words like "uncle" or "mercy" playing the very first or even first few times with someone new. If they don't agree with "No" means "No," at the outset, don't play with them. Don't be the sub that consents to having any choice taken away with someone new, and don't be the Dom(me) who takes that choice away. Save the word games for later in the friendship, after more trust is built up, and you have more assurance of your partner's safety and care for your welfare, or they have from you of their own. I for one have gone so far as to have actually used "Mercy" in a scene that I felt was going too far, but She didn't hear me, and I didn't repeat it. And I endured it. It was Someone I knew for almost 20 years by then. It didn't destroy what we had, and I was okay with it afterwards. But here's the thing: We had known each other that long, and we had that deep a trust while in the Dungeon. It wouldn't have been acceptable the first time we played if I had said "No" and She didn't stop. But She was always much more attentive than that. I've been fortunate that all the Tops and Dommes I've been with (only several, I assure you) have not crossed acceptable consent boundaries at all. They have known not to without having to negotiate it. Every Top should know not to, and every bottom has a right to expect that. I would call it common sense, if sense were really common.

Life doesn’t give you breaks. The echoing silence of the house after work is a painful reminder of the voids that have been created in the past few years. James's memories are still fresh, like an unfinished story that replays in my mind every time I find a moment of quiet. The vibrant life he introduced me to, our moments of intimacy in the world of BDSM, and the painful void of his loss due to COVID. But this year, just when I thought I was gathering myself up, learning to stand again, another wave hit. Dad's gone. It's been four agonizing weeks since his heart failed him, and my world crumbled, yet again. Coming home, I see mom trying to cope, trying to smile for me, but her eyes betray the pain. As much as she leans on me, I lean on her. Between the bustle of the law firm, my weekend beauty appointments, and the humdrum of daily chores, it's these stolen quiet moments with mom that have become my solace. We share memories, of dad's quirks, of his love for spicy food, of the times he'd dance with me on old Bollywood numbers. this city feels so different without James and now, without dad's laughter ringing through the corridors of our house. The weekends are a . Between the shopping, the laundry, and the cooking, there's this constant underlying grief that seems to tag along. Sometimes, during my beautician shifts, I wonder what's next for me? Would I find love again? Or perhaps another purpose? My heart feels so brittle, afraid to hope, afraid to dream. Yet, with every sun that sets, there's a hope for a new dawn, a new beginning. I believe James and dad would want me to find happiness, to thrive, to make them proud. And so, I promise myself to take each day as it comes, to find little moments of joy and to cherish the love that I've been so lucky to experience.

I had my 15 month post cancer treatment scope.  The one where they stick the scope up your nose then down in to your throat and look around to check if the tissue is still healthy and take pictures to see if anything has changed.  And it's all still good.  Nine months until I am past the most dangerous period for it to come back, but not totally out of the woods until 5 year mark.  Still getting stronger, except for my right shoulder.  Haven't had a dizzy spell in almost a month.  The effects of radiation can last up t about 18 months, so I am at 15 months and am almost starting to not feel like I'm 80 anymore.  Maybe going to the gym a few times a week and losing 20 more pounds has helped as well.  15 pounds to go to hit 160.  I haven't weighed 160 since I was in my 30s.  Can running my 6th marathon be far off?  A man has to have goals.  Maybe if the right woman was chasing me with a whip.....  

My dog clogged the toilet.  Okay, technically, I am the one who flushed the wipes, but it was all her. You know those treats that fit into some sort of holder and are meant to occupy the dog for quite some time? She ripped the holder and instead of it taking hours to eat the treat, she ate it in a matter of minutes. Everything seemed fine. And then I woke around 2:30 to her trying to eat a great big pile of mush that had just come out of her butt. Gross. So what do I do? I grab flushable wipes to clean it up. And then I flush them. And then the toilet revolted. Thank the lord I have more than one because I forgot about it until I came back upstairs and it's still unuseable. I looked up how to fix this. There is no magic solution to pour in there and dissolve them. The plunger is most definitely not working. I cannot call a plumber and tell him the dog clogged the toilet. This is just another problem for Tomorrow Me. And probably Middle of the Night Me. And that's not even the end of the story, but that's all I've got left to give tonight.  *Update*  I FIXED IT!!! I seriously thought I was going to have to explain this to a plumber. I just spent a lot of time plunging. And um, then I had to pee. So maybe I had the magic solution because right after I tinkled, flushed, and plunged, it worked. Natural plumber, at your service. 

Keeping in mind that as soon as I saw that he had written before, I rolled my eyes and made a choice to respond, knowing how this was gonna go, and since I'm in a mood, it was slightly amusing and I almost chuckled when he did exactly what I expected him to do. Which I'm sure would have pissed him off worse... I received this today from someone listed as a Dom, who had contacted me well over a year ago, then again last December. Just 4 months ago, but he's once again completely forgotten that he wrote me before, that he was asked to do something then disappeared, forgot that he had written the second time and was REMINDED, and asked if he had done it yet, but wanted me to commit to being interested (in someone who had ghosted once already and hadn't done anything he was asked to do, which was to read and EDUCATE HIMSELF, not do anything that benefited ME, but instead forgot even speaking to me) and now he's written me again. With the same message as the first two times. 3/6/22 6:48 AM "Good morning, Miss, Hope you are doing well I am wondering if per chance you could possibly be open to a 64 going on 34 year old sub and iring slave located in North Aurora, west of chicago who is intelligent openminded kinky adventurous fun and selfassured about who and what he is? Most of all one who seeks a true Owner and Domme who is a totally devoted to you like me? It is so hard to find a genuine and suitable Domme and Owner in this lifestyle I hope you find me to be exceptional seems like we want the very same thingfor You to take total control of memind body and soul And what you depict your profile is quite interesting and just what I know I need Although my profile says I am a Dom, I have come to realize I am a stone sub I have the ability desire and wherewithal to host and come visit and ultimately relocate should it come to that I travel your way quite a bit on business But most of all I would love to just have the honor and privilege to get to know you you seem so genuine Hope to hear from you"   This is what I wrote him just now. I think it was pretty mild, all things considered. "angeldmort on 3/6/22 at 7:20 AM: Considering that we had a conversation not 4 months ago and you've already forgotten that, I guess not And you obviously didn't read my profile THIS time, either So youve spammed me twice, I let you off the hook last time and had a conversation anyway, and now you are back having done the same exact thing, so you learned jack shit last time and are telling me either how forgettable I am, or how incredibly forgetful and lazy you are Either way, buhbye" and his entirely predictable reply - "sorry Had I known you were such a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered personI would not have contacted you in the first placenot at all the type of Domme or person I want in my life Who wants to take the time to read all the gibberish anyway Thanks and buhbye to you, too"   Now, this is not at ALL even remotely uncommon. This is the Standard Operating Procedure for guys contacting women via the internet for the purpose of getting the attention they want. They bury us in compliments, make grand sweeping statements about their desire for a relationship, and when they don't get it, usually because of their own screwups, they immediately do a 180 and get verbally abusive. (Or if in person, physically abusive/violent/deadly.) And in this case, since it's a BDSM centered site, he stated he wanted a Domme "to take total control of me mind body and soul." But apparently that did not extend to actually asking him to DO anything. Even if it makes him better able to get what he wants.   When I asked him back in December if he had read any of the books I recommended to him, based on his complete lack of submissive experience and his stated desire to get some, he replied "Quite honestlyI have not But if You feel You are truly interested in me, I will gladly do so as I know that would make me better prepared to be the best I can be for you should it come to that And that would be my entire focus"   Do you see the problem? A total stranger on the internet. We have exchanged a few emails. That's it. I have to profess my TRUE interest in him, without knowing him beyond what his shown so far in this extremely limited way. After he has already failed to do the most basic of things - - actually READ my profile, which has a couple things in it specifically to let me know if someone read it, right at the very tip top where it's easy to see - written a profile that actually reflects who is is, instead of one that he thinks will get him laid as a Dom - write an actual email to me instead of sending me the copy/pasted message he sends every Domme - write a message to me that doesn't lie about having read my profile and "seems like we want the very same thing" - stick around in a conversation HE had initiated - done the only thing I actually asked of him, which was to read a book I thought would help him with his search - be honest about not wanting to do this, like a fucking adult, instead of ghosting like a little bitch - keep track of who he contacts so he doesn't insult my intelligence with another copy/paste message that just tells me I'm not interesting enough for him to remember Yeah. I'm gonna be SO interested. In blocking him from contacting me again. But he feels I should give that, before he has to give ANYTHING. He should get payment up front, before he begins the work of becoming someone in who a Domme COULD be interested in. Because ... He wants it? And being female, I should want to hand it to him on a silver platter.   And the second that is pointed out to him - the first time I explain that no, he has screwed up, and screwed HIMSELF over with his own actions, and lack of actions, and lack of basic effort on his own behalf, more than once? I am "a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered person." Because that's how a "submissive" responds to correction from a Dominant Woman? Or it seems to be, based on how this goes, over and over and over. No recognition of personal responsibility for his mistakes, no apology for ghosting, no appreciation of being given a reply despite the obvious lack of effort, no self-awareness at all that might lead to him fixing his mistakes, changing his course, and possibly finding what he claims to want. Just the immediate knee-jerk flip to insults and abuse. But hey, at least he didn't call me old, fat and ugly. That's the usual guy response to getting rejected.   And again, this is standard stuff. This is the main kind of interaction women have on dating sites. This is the main kind of interaction Dommes have on BDSM sites. It may as well be the same exact person writing me these, over and over. As the song says - "Only the names will change." This is not submission. This is self-entitlement. This is toxic masculinity. This is a fragile male ego. And THIS is what is standing between you and the Domme you want to kneel to. THIS is what we see and expect when you write us before reading our profile, when you send us a generic email that could have been sent to someone else, when you don't fill out your profile, when you want us to be "interested" before having an actual conversation and letting us get to know you. I know it sees like work, but honestly, without it, you are asking for a handout, and we know that hand will probably turn into

Message to a User about Tonight 3/25/2020 I actually had a pretty good time tonight with the Divorced Dad. We chatted & caught up with each other. About the kids and he finally met someone whose he been dating for a month. Still new and casual but he thinks it's going to lead somewhere. I updated him about my life & school and such. We went to his bedroom and he was naked in a flash and laid back on his bed. I went for it. He has and upward curve so taking it down all the way facing him isn't possible so I went to his side and spread my legs and let him play with my ass as I went down. I got his balls deep in my nose and he loved grabbing my head and pushing me as hard as he could and thrusting upward. I started licking his balls and lapping up and down his cock before I moved southward towards his taint then his ass. He flipped over and I gave him a great rim job for quite some time. He then flipped over and I rode his cock. I have really built thighs and great at riding up and down and doing a lot of the saddle work. He surprised me by grabbing my hips and jack ramming me (He's very muscular) We then did reverse saddle then doggy all in the same me back into him twirling back into him and him thrusting deeper. Laying his body onto mine and pumping hard and speeding up his tempo. We ended with my head over the bed and him fucking me deeply. I did gag a bit. Disappointed in that but he did cum all the way down my throat with his balls at the base of my mouth. We both laughed afterwards and chatted some more. We have stayed friends even when we didn't sleep together and I have an odd habit of sucking a cock & making weird casual yet intimate relationships where I know about what's going on and things. He said he likes how genuine I am and likes that I'm doing well with school & work and that made my night since we haven't seen each other in a while and he sees that things are going well. (I don't see sucking cocks as a detrimental thing lol)

Effective and Transparent Communication  In a Poly house, it is crucial to maintain honesty and open communication with the Master and all other members. This practice is not only ethical but also necessary for the smooth functioning of the household. Honesty is the foundation of trust and mutual understanding in any relationship, and in a Poly house, there are more people involved, making it even more vital to be forthright.  Being open and honest sets the tone for the type of relationship you want to have with the Master. It shows that you are invested in the relationship and committed to making it work. By being transparent, the Master gains a better understanding of your needs, expectations, and boundaries. This understanding forms the basis of a deeper and more meaningful relationship.  Creating an environment where everyone can communicate freely without fear of judgment or retribution is crucial. It allows for a more collaborative and inclusive approach to decision-making within the house, fostering a culture of trust and mutual support. While the Master has the final say, it is crucial to hear the thoughts of all members.  Before joining a Poly house, asking questions is essential to understanding the dynamics and ensuring it is the right fit. It is a significant commitment that requires trust and openness, and clarifying expectations and responsibilities minimizes misunderstandings and conflicts.  In conclusion, effective and transparent communication is essential to creating a healthy and stable relationship in a Poly house. It builds trust, fosters collaboration, and creates a culture of mutual support. Honesty and communication should be embraced by all members of a Poly house.

So here's some more detail (and something to push down my previous whining about the site  ). My wife and I are both looking for our own play partners, so I guess you could call it an open relationship. She's looking for a friend with benefits, emphasis on "friend," as in somebody she could just as easily talk to about daily minutia as she would give him a blow job. I'm not looking for anything quite so equitable. I'm looking for someone who would indulge me in whatever my twisted mind comes up with, like exhibitionism and public play or breathplay or the "usual" spankings and other impact play. I do have some limits of my own, chiefly scat and blood. Also, even though I might want my slave to show a lot of skin and go without bra or panties while she's with me, I wouldn't insist she do that or anything else that might put her job at risk. Yes, I am definitely looking for in person contact at least once a week. My wife and I also have an agreement that we meet each other's play partners and basically vet them. It's not like we're conducting interrogations, it's just determining if we all get along and if there are any red flags.

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION  My Thoughts Sir Hugo Atlanta In Real Estate, there is a saying  Location, Location,   Limiting your Dom Sub SEARCH to folks in your city or state  makes verification and meetup so much easier. THE REALITY IS  A Potential dom / sub/ Partner who lives more than 30 miles away is WASTING YOUR EFFORTS. In my experience, THE BEST PLACE to meet potential partners is at a local munch.Google Search          BDSM Munchs in ATLANTA, GA  ( Enter your CITY, STATE ) or use               FindaMunch.com THE REALITY IS those who go to munchs want to meet you and play with you, NOT WASTE YOUR TIME SEXTING.   Your mileage may vary.    (   THAT WAS A JOKE- Doms can be light hearted - ) My Thoughts    Sir Hugo Atlanta PS  Kudos CollarSpace Management for having a Chatroom as part of the website.

 ClubFEM_Massachusetts is moving forward! Please feel free to join the group on FL, for additional activity.  Just a word about our most important mission. All ClubFEM® events are attended by private invitation and the doors are closed to only members and invited guests. ClubFEM® events deliver on our promise of a 100% Female Authority environment, and this organization will remain non-commercial. How do I join ClubFEM®? For the Massachusetts chapter, Mistresses, Dominants or slaves, submissives who are interested in membership begin by sending a letter of introduction, as described below, to MESSAGE FOR GROUP CONTACT INFO.  Your letter of introduction will be reviewed by a ClubFEM® Head Mistress or member of the ClubFEM® Executive Board. When a favorable decision is reached, you will be asked to attend a ClubFEM® Munch or to arrange an initial meeting with a Head Mistress or member of the Executive Board. All initial meetings take place in a public place such as a restaurant or coffee shop. Successful applicants will be invited to attend other scheduled events. Anyone requesting membership in ClubFEM® must be at least 21 years old and this must be verified.   What should I write in my "letter of introduction"? The key to a successful letter is brevity. BE CERTAIN to include your email address and your geographic location (city, state, and country, where applicable) when writing. Tell us briefly about your interest in ClubFEM® and how you learned about us. We do not expect or want lengthy autobiographies from potential members, as we receive a large volume of email on a daily basis. DO NOT stress fetish or sexual subjaspects in this first letter and please refrain from sending us your fantasies.   Taken from the ClubFEM website.... clubfem.com/faq.htm  

A 4 wheel break job and a panty job! What more could a girl ask for? This past weekend I had the EXTREME pleasure of being served.  He showed up in the wee hours of the morning and over the next several hours demonstrated a front brake pad, rear drum brake, and rear shoe job!  So interesting and I love knowing how to save Myself some cash in the future, as well as how to properly prepare the components of the  brake system in order to have them operating at peak performance.  I feel knowledgeable and grateful.  My favorite new find is Anit-Seize - so neat and in copper no less! After the brake job and LOTS of sexy stories, off we went to a Halloween party where he dressed as a she (wig and all) and mum and I were dressed as cowgirl and asian empress. Later on, after I got 'her' good and tipsy, I took advantage and traced those super silky lace pink panties.  It was SOOO HOT to feel 'her' squirm underneath My touch and move erotically.  I felt desire course hot for a moment or two.  lol   Thank you dear for sharing your talent, knowledge, and sweet sissy side.  It was fun and you are a hero in My book! Kiss

We are now in the land of 2022  And even now after all of these years, at least on Collarme, whoops I meant to write Collarspace the thing that pisses people off the most is not what one would expect.  I think we all had our share of quote, unquote BOT PROFILES or that one LMAO several fake Doms, Dommes, or anyone for that matter The punctuation and grammar grid is irritating as hell at times.  But of all of these and some, I have not pointed out.   The biggest ASSHAT of them all is trying to keep your profile CURRENT with new information, likes or dislikes, and even updated photos.   I dare any to disagree with me, especially reading some profiles lately how some have been locked out of their accounts still PENDING approval, LIKE WTF is really going on??? One of the main reasons even as a DaddyDom I am afraid to update my account, this is supposed to be a joke but I am serious as an old man busting a nut, a heart attack!!! But I digress...

I could be your mother/ I could be your dream/ I could make it look like it never happened, leave it clean/ Oh I could be your friend/ Or I could be on my back/ I could beg, I could bully/ I could brace you for impact/ Oh I could be counterfeit/ I could be real/ I could be the wound around your neck/ You tell your friends you can heal/ I could be 500 virgins/ I could be 500 whores/ I could be anything, anything, anything but yours/   I could be your mother/ I could be mad/ I could talk utter bullshit, I could be matter of fact/ Oh I could be broken/ Or I could be whole/ I could be something to fix in your New Years resolution goal/ Oh I could be an angel/ I could be a jerk/ Make a plan to save me, you can choose if you want it to work/ I could be a purity to ruin/ Corrupt for you to restore/ I could be anything, anything, anything but yours/   I could be your mother/ I could be your dad/ I could be the family that you always wished that you had/ Oh I could be a kiss/ I could be a hit/ Let me know if you ever figure out the difference/ Oh I could be a fact/ I could be a lie/ I could be the truth you search for your whole life but never find/ I could be your bravado/ I could be gone tomorrow/ I could be anything, anything, anything.../

He had been communicating for a while with an experienced Gay master and the day had finally come where they would meet in person.  They had agreed to meet in a public place at a little bar and café. If the meeting would go well they might be leaving together and he would be under his Masters control for the weekend. He had been provided with very specific instructions on the time to meet and what table to take. He had come in good time to make sure he could get the specific table his Master had instructed him to sit at. He wanted to make sure he left a good first impression.  He was in luck the table was vacant. It was in the remote/back side of the restaurant. He had been told to sit with his back facing the restaurant area looking at the wall which would allow his Master to approach him without him being able to see Master coming.  He was to order two specific bottled beer. He was not to touch the beers but patiently wait for his Master to arrive with both his hands on the table. Time went really slowly and he found himself constant looking at his watch.  He suddenly heard steps behind him. Was it the waitress or was it Master?  He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and a voice behind him “Do not turn around “.  The hand massaged his shoulder end moved down his chest…. Gentle squeezing his nipples. The hand moved further down to his crotch. He was so hard.. “Heads and eyes down” He lowered his head and Master walked around and sat down at the table. He did not dear lifting his head.  He could see Master hand taking the beer and Master zipping off the beer while making a smiling sound. Finally he heard the voice “Okay you can lift you head” He excited lifted his head and there was Master in front of him.   They spent the next 20min talking and get to know each other while enjoying the beers.  It was a great continuation of the conversation they had had on email and chat and they both was in agreement to proceed the relationship to the next level. Master reached down in his backpack and took up a small carrying plastic bag.  “if you want to proceed you will go to the restroom and do what the note in this bag instructs you”.  He was super excited to continue and took the bag and hurried to the restroom. Inside the bag was a note that said.  “You are plug yourself with the plug in this bag.  Take off your underwear and place it into the bag and you are NOT to take a piss” The plug in the bag was luckily not that big as he was very tight in the rear and there was some lubricant.  He quickly slid the plug into place and removed his underwear. His cock was hard a steel and with no underwear it was scratching against the inside of his jeans. He went back to Master table and handed over the bag with his underwear. Master put on a smile..  “Now it is my turn, Please order me a new beer ONE only. ” Master excused himself and went out to the restroom.. He brought along his own beer bottle. He was quickly back and sat down.  “Well boy it is time you know who is boss” He handed his beer over.  The bottle was warm. OH my good he had refilled the bottle with his piss in the bathroom.  “Here is your new beer, now drink up” It was so humiliating. Sitting there in a public place drinking master’s hot piss out of a beer bottle.  He had tried drinking hot piss before but never this way.  Master was enjoying him selves with his new fresh beer. He finished the beer and would have loved to have had a glass of water to clear him mouth of the salty taste. “Good boy”. What do you say we get out of here….  They walked to Masters car. Master opened the passenger seat and he jumped in. He put on his seat belt and Master handed him a pair of sunglasses…  the sunglasses has the inside colored black and totally blocked his sight.  Master closed the door and jumped into the driver’s seat.  When inside the car Master unzipped his jeans and his hard cock immediately sprang out..  Master laughed, gave him a deep kiss and started the car. Another humiliating experience sitting there not knowing where they were going sitting there with his dick hanging out like a flag pole. Few minutes later they turned into Master driveway and into the garage and the automatic door closed behind them. Master went around to the passenger seat opened the door and guided him out of the car and sat him down on a chair in the garage.  “Get undressed, Quickly!” He quickly did as tol and soon was standing naked on the cold garage floor.  His hands was retrained behind his back with a pair of steel handcuffs and a ball gaga placed in his mouth.  Eyes down and follow me…  The next two days he would be under Masters control…

I am presently not owned. I have had interesting experiences in the past few years, and I am taking my time looking for the special person(s) whom I fit very well with. My interests have changed since I’ve written my profile, and my interests have grown.  I am looking for people who enjoy corruption sexually. Those who love engaging in humiliation and degradation.  Individuals who are looking for “untraditional” service submission. I may not be able to remember to check if you need drinks regularly or breakfast, but I bring other skills and talents to the table. My skills include butler service, administrative assistant, massage, cooking, and baking. Those who love non-monogamy and loaning out submissives. Out-of-the-box creative sadists. Please note that I want things to progress and meet up with individuals. The long-term goal should be to have an actual relationship. Things work out best with well-humored individuals who appreciate sarcasm and are skilled at being relatively evil, petting my hair and saying I’m such a good girl while pressing pressure points, bringing me to the floor.

I thought it would be a good thing to do to give people an idea of what I mean by role play. I like interrogation play. I even have a marvelous space for that. Of course there is the old but still great student and teacher or professor. Or someone might come home smelling like booze and be put through their paces and chastized for drinking and driving. I also like it when play begins hours before the scene starts. That unexpected text with instructions to put certain clamps on your nipples and or balls and or labia and to not remove them until you are given permission. Or to insert a particular item into a particular orifice to wear as long as instructed. Or all of the above, text after text after delicious text. The list goes on and my mind gets even more diabolical. One might be given a bag to take into the restroom during dinner containing implements designed to cause discomfort with instructions regarding what to do with said implements. Does any of that sound like fun to anyone but me? I can't imagine a better way to get our heads in a wonderful space for play. Except maybe that that low voice speaking into your ear... You are really in trouble when I get you home...

**Journal Entry for jloveslut:**   I’ve been reflecting a lot on the journey of self-discovery and exploration that led me here, to a place where I can openly embrace my authentic self. My experiences as a switch, and my desire to connect with others who understand the nuances of my gender identity and orientation, have been pivotal in shaping who I am today.   In the realm of BDSM and kink, finding a community where I can express both my dominant and submissive sides has been incredibly empowering. It’s a space where I can explore, learn, and grow without judgment. I’m continually learning about what it means to be part of a community that values consent, respect, and communication above all else. These elements are at the core of the connections I’m seeking, and I appreciate how spaces like this offer that opportunity.   I’m looking forward to meeting others who share similar values and interests. Whether it’s engaging in conversations about lifestyle choices, exploring new dynamics, or just making friends who understand this part of my life, I am excited for the possibilities that lie ahead. Here’s to continuing the journey of exploration, growth, and meaningful connections.   Thank you for reading, and feel free to reach out if any of this resonates with you.   — J

just surviving a heart attack puts a lot into perspective, currently off work while they get my blood pressure under control. So far it's been 2 months since I ended up in hospital following the heart attack. There's only me now that my wife passed away a few years ago. We got into the lifestyle together both being dominant in our other relationships and so we went to munches, kink events and exhibitions. We'd watch the rope training, suspension bondage and anything else that took our fancy. We were approached to start training submissive's initially just fem identifying and fem gender, but it progressed to subs/sissies and febboy/girls. They would live-in with us and train, kind of a course and they would leave with a certificate back to their owners. Since she's passed, I've done it a few more times on my own keeping up the training. But the heart attack made me realize that when they leave it's just back to being me on my own again. Which i'm now seeing as sucks lol.

Alaska is a beautiful Lady, she is a deadly bitch and She will kill you in a heartbeat.   If you don't understand what I'm going to say about Alaska, ask and I will explain.        What I'm looking for is life long commitment .      What I expect. you will respond to My voice.  you will let my voice control your mind. I will plant my words to trigger you.   My triggers will cause your body to react as conditioned.   I'm not hard core abusive but you will walk a fine line of constant excitement. Open your mind to me and I WILL put your pussy outside your body.    It's so tempting maintaining control. Giving your will to another is scary. Planting myself in your mind and triggering you where and when I want, such a rewarding experience. You'll slowly surrender to my voice. You never know when you're going to submit. When the proverbial rug of sanity will disappear under your foot, just it will happen.    My voice is stronger than you desire to disobey. When I speak, you wait expecting.  Your body will tremble.       Weather is getting cold here in Alaska.  Almost time for subbies and slaves taken to the Mountains.    Have your body stripped of warm clothing. Its so enjoyable to watch your face as your warm pussy is placed on a large rock at 40 below.      Should I bring some ice cubes to help the spreading of cold slowly clawing its way into your pussy.    Alaskan winters offer so much enjoyment.  I hope to enjoy this winter, how about you?    These are serious things to think about.  I'm telling you now what your end results with me look like. Can you handle knowing what you will look like when I finish playing with your mind      Can you live in that terror. Always expecting. Do I terrify you. Are you willing to give it all

"So into you" or why ob- ject -ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is The subject today will be centered around ob- ject -ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. And that is the message. In song after song. "I saw you, I had a feeling, I have a want, I am thinking about you, I am having lots of thoughts about you, I'm having a fantacy about you, I'm deciding that the fantacy is a true representation of who you are, so now I'm building hopes, and I'm building expectations, and now I'm going to approach you , and you should share all my fantacies and fullfil the hopes and expecations rather than view me as some total stranger who's making weird sexual demands." (We won't even START discussing murder ballads. That came up recently too...) That is the message young guys get when they are first thinking about asking girls on a date. That this is how it happens. That this is normal. So when they do it, they are shocked and confused by the girl's reaction. Then again, young girls get this too, so plenty of times when a guy is inappropriate, before they've learned to be afraid of guys and their reaction to rejection, they belive they are supposed to be flattered that a guy is paying attention to them. Even if she doesn't like him, having a guy want you is important, a measure of your value as a woman. So rather than seeing a red flag for later, more aggressive poor behavior, they see it through the lens of "romance." They feel pretty and special and don't recognize healthy behavior when they see it elsewhere because this is how it happens, and what is normal. It's right up there with "he must like you if he punched you" in grade school turning into "he didnt mean it, you know he loves you" later when he beats her bloody later in life. Hell, I literally had this just yesterday. "Hello beautiful, I’ve always wanted to meet you , I love that hair , your so beautiful, I’m in (my town) until Jan 30th Love spoil you and finally get to actually meet you , I only been dreaming for years to do some sissy sessions with you " Never read a single line of my profile in all those "years." So he literally only knows that I have a nice picture. I point that out. (It's a thing for me...you may have noticed.) He responds "I know I need proper training but I know you can teach me !" Because of course, that would be my goal - to spend time and a lot of energy giving someone what they want when they couldn't spend 5 minutes reading my profile. I point out that he STILL hasn't read it, or addressed my reply, and that it was kind of insulting.  He pushed on, though - "We can go get coffee or meet at a munch or anything your up for , I’m only here to next Sunday , but after we meet and greet , I know you would always enjoy my company"  Because obviously, women enjoy men who they feel have insulted them. Especially when it's the BDSM equivalent of a one night stand.  Yes, I blocked him. He obviously wasn't going to catch a clue, even when smacked with a clue-by-four, so there was no point letting him keep messaging me until he got nasty.  He told me I was beautiful, so it automatically followed in his mind that I would immediately want to be alone, up close and personal, providing him his desired gratification, in a session with him, a total stranger, on the first meeting. And that his idea of "spoil" would be the same as mine. Or "proper training." He belived knew me, what I'd want, what I enjoy from my company, etc, without having to read a word I wrote, because he'd looked at my picture and had a feeling and built a fantasy and then expecations. And that who I was beyond my face (and hair) didn't matter.  Because I was not a person to him.  I was an object he desired... a fetish vending machine into which he felt he had put the appropriate coinage - a compliment on my looks. And he wasn't going to be desueded from that with reality or actual human interaction.  This is the world women live in. This is what "The Male Gaze" actually means. If we are attractive, we have value, but not humanity. If we are not attractive, we have no value, and are dehumanized.  You'd think men who want to be Dominated would behave at least slightly different, show at least surface respect to a Dominant Woman, but on average, they don't. And yet, right now, in several groups, there are guys going on about how hard it is to find a Mistress, by guys with the same empty profiles and dick pic avatars and tons of 'do me' groups. The same complaints, the same confusion, the same helplessness and yet the same refusal to make the efforts that would make it possible for a Dominant Woman to want to interact with them.  They are standing helplessly... hoping... being driven crazy... not understanding why we aren't "getting into" them.

6-6-2026 PART 1 of 2. Why is imposed chastity or dramatic sexual reduction used as a punishment? What is it punishing? Or is it a disengagement to lead to the ruin the relationship? That has been my conclusion, even if it is wrong. This is something I have experienced in all but one of my LTR's. I have not understood it as each man did it in a different way. For clarity's sake, I had two marriages, one engagement and one concubinage. So, why punish a woman this way? I have not found the answer, because the man is punishing himself too. I know about Narcissism and that the withdrawal of intimacy is as a way to destroy the empath. It seems a futile way to try and get compliance from a woman. Because it creates a wall where it should not be one. The bed becomes a prison with two inmates spending hours trying not to touch the other. It is all rather pathetic. As I look back on the years that I spent lying in bed untouched, I ask why punish her this way? Maybe some of you out there do it for short period, this is not that.. I am talking about long term withdrawal of all sexual intimacy as a new normal. ( or worse, no sex, but they want oral as the new normal. and NO, I was not a slave, just a wife.) I was always told it was my appearance but that is stupid. One husband said it to me while I was having his babies that he could not touch a woman who was not 'chicken bones' as he put it. I was anorexic thin during my teens and twenties. My BMI was very low yet no matter what I ate, I stayed thin. I think it is a cop-out as an excuse. It is to imply she is not good enough to penetrate or touch or love or cuddle or squeeze. I think we live in a world of perfection in pornography and undressed women in the street and I have been on and off FL for nearly 2 decades and met the last 2 men in my life on this site. So, there is much to look at and somehow the woman with flour on her nose in an apron and messy hair because she is sweaty from house work is just not the same as the young things throwing him glances at the concerts or the pretty faces looking back from the screen or the now very smooth AI. What happened? When did the warmth of a woman turn into something to reject. Telling her it is because her hair is not long enough or she does not were a mini at home because it is hard to breastfeed and chase children with the clothes of a nightclubber and not a mum? Even when she makes herself pretty, he does not notice. Even when she is older and goes to the gym and walks miles with the big strides of a German taking it seriously, is that not enough? Why does the heat wane and she is no more than a cook and cleaner and childminder while he is out on the town? I want to say men on here are different, and maybe I chose those who did not have the longevity of desire for the other that I luckily had found in the 3 years of the man I was engaged too. Our intimacy went from height to height. It was innovative and it was tender and loving too. It was hot some days and comforting and familiar on others.(He introduced me to BDSM in 2004 before I knew it had a name and a community.) I know it can happen. I know it is possible. My love language is touch. I love to touch flowers and little Chihuahuas and stroke the roughness of a tree. I love the cold of the rain on my face and the heat of a hot cup in my hands. I love to touch and smell and taste. The 3D would is fascinating and if I do not have yarn and needles in my hand, it is a rosary, with warm big wooden beads and cold cross. IT is not me who does not want them. It is them who do not want to love me physically. In 2018 El' withdrew his affections almost overnight, We had been back from Africa for only a few weeks and settled into a routine. After a few months of that lack of sex, I took to running more and  more miles on the treadmill at gym to burn off my desire for him, but to no avail. Then lookdown came and I was in agony. Yet kept it all inside out of embarrassment.. A fire that causes one to gasp with its intensity. It  was even worse being locked up with him for those 2 years. He was very serious about the shut in policy. We would go for walks late at night and that was all. He did all the shopping and was out for a period of time most days. He immediately changed our sleep routine so we did not sleep together at the same hour. Even though we had already changed to each having their own duvet the year before and he never undressed or was naked in my view. Which is why my entry about changing him and helping him in the hospital is all the more poignant. I had not seen him naked for 7 years. This was despite us living together. I do not understand men. I do not. It is a sad state of affairs, looking back. The LIFE changing event was that in 2020, I cried out to G-d, and begged him to save me from the burning and from my shame and lust and pain. But WHAT HE DID WAS INCREASE IT. I admit, for 6 weeks early last year on CS, while I was living in a tiny retreat waiting for the wind to fill my sails for the new direction in life...I did partake in some torrid online flirting, which led to nothing but a sense of shame and guilt as it had NO love behind it. Just BlackScreenMen who wanted something from me and I wanted release for a few weeks. A sort of cyber masturbation that leaves on questioning 'why bother'? BUT other than that sneaky window of debauchery, I let G-d burn me alive with His Fire while I was ALL ALONE from 2020 to now. IT WAS MY CROSS.  end of part 1

It's irresponsible of me to remain a mystery for too much longer, so here is my first journal entry. I am excited to have a potential play partner, a wonderfully sexy sub-leaning male switch. That means I'm not actively search in for a partner right now. I am open to meeting mentors and making friends.  I have some scattered experience as a service top and bottom, but I feel ready at this point in my life to explore my dominant side more.  I absolutely love seeing the male body tied up. There's something about a man tied down or tied up, completely helpless and at my mercy. I have a dream of assembling a little album of beautiful shibari starring my sweet switch as the muse. I appreciate any recommendations of good shibari resources. Messages from enthusiastic riggers and rope bunnies are more than welcome.  I'm also curious about male orgasm control, I'm looking for some fun games to play involving edging or bondage.  If you're still reading I suppose it's fair to describe myself a little. I'm a natural redhead with a soft body. I have a very specific taste in men, some of you know what, of which I have an insatiable appetite for. I'm sensual- I love to enjoy good food and music and great sex. I'm not a very strict Domme and I'm not a very obedient sub, but I think I make up for it by being a pretty good time! I'm writing this to round out my profile and to record the start of my journey as a Domme. If you feel compelled to message me after reading this, you're welcome to, but please don't be boring, I have to be selective about who I reply to now. -MM

I genuinely love my boyfriend. I have loved a good number of people but this is the first time I've dated anyone for longer than two weeks who has not been argumentative, selfish, mean, and committed to never understanding me. And more often than not we communicate very well. We have argued twice in almost a year. He is kind and gentle with me. He is thoughtful and generous. He makes me feel calm and at peace. He doesn't behave as if he is irritated with me when I am anxious, depressed, or having panic attacks. He grounds me. He is all of the things I've wanted from all the serious partners I've had in the past.    He has never ever hurt me (except once when he asked me to go home and I took it personally lol).   Absolutely zero of my relationships have ever been this good, the worst being my marriage. I can say I am absolutely happy when I am with him which is what pushed me to want to be happy when I am without him. I had never thought it possible for me to be happy, alone or with another person since I had never been happy in a relationship before. I felt good and would call it happiness but I wasn't happy. Now that happiness is possible I must learn to find it inside of myself which is difficult when you've been miserable for 31 years    So this is what it means to find your person.  He is like starlight, like the laughter of babies, like the colors of the sunrise and the sunset, like the buds in spring, like a glass of refreshing cool water, like a warm hug. He is love. He is safety. Something I never thought I'd ever have. Something I've never seen anyone have in person. Something I didn't expect from what was supposed to be a tinder one night stand.    A one night stand that ended up with us being intertwined so intimately that we are now inseparable.

Well, all who follow me on the internet - I have relocated to Eastern Tennessee near ETSU.  My home is finished and soon I will resume teaching special women all about submission, obedience, and cock worship.  Too many of you believe that you are sitting on gold, but secretly fantasize about being used as a woman should be!  All three of our glorious holes drilled and utilized for the sadistic pleasure of your Master!   Think of it girls - Going out on the town - good food, great drinks when nobody can tell that under your clothing you are wearing a steel chastity belt, tight corset, rubber panties with two plugs, a remote-controlled vibrator affixed to your clit. your erect nipples poking through a rubber-lined open nipple bra, feeling the cool southern air through the silk blouse.   Suddenly you g as the vibrator begins to torment your erect clit!   Are you ready to rush home and please your owner in order to cum yourself?  Will he allow it, or will you suffer much and many more torments throughout the night?   Perhaps you will spend a long night in a cage, or strapped into bed until the batteries die. ONLY I WILL KNOW what and how your torments will end!

Well, ladies and gents, the holiday season is again upon us. I'm debating with myself whether to invite several friends over once again or just have a quiet, eventless evening at home for Thanksgiving.   Last year I did a 20Lb turkey, in my outdoor air fryer, which turned out much better than I expected. It is a lot of work to put together a huge meal with all the fixings.  I will have to thank my mother when I see her again up yonder for all her work.  Maybe I will link up with a woman who is by herself this season and is seeking a Dom of her own to hold and cherish?  It would be nice going into the holidays and especially Christmas!  If not, I'll go to my church's Christmas Eve candlelight service again. Perhaps there is a woman who would like to spend the holidays with me, and join me for Christmas?   Lost 2 friends this past year and one cousin my age.  LIFE is SHORT and Quickly catches up with us all! 

he House Doctrine of Master George Part 2 of 2 ( you should read part 1 first) A Journal Entry for the Instruction of Slaves and the Record of My Household Philosophy House Principles The following principles govern daily life here: Obedience is Immediate – Commands are executed without delay or question. Respect is Constant – Tone, body language, and actions must always reflect the honor of this house. Service is Sacred – From the smallest chore to the most ceremonial duty, every act of service is performed with devotion. Discipline is a Gift – Correction is not punishment for its own sake, but a tool to refine you into what I desire. The Master’s Word is Final – My authority is absolute in all matters. The Nature of This Life Slavery, as I define it, is not a role that can be “turned off.” It does not begin when you kneel and end when you stand. It is constant. It is lived in every breath, every movement, every thought. It is not about chains, though chains may be used; it is about the mental and emotional bond of ownership. The gift you offer me is your complete surrender. In return, I give you stability, belonging, protection, and purpose. I will push you harder than you think you can endure — and in doing so, I will reveal to you a strength you never knew you had. Final Word To be my slave is to step into a life defined by clarity and purpose. It is to give up the burden of aimless decision-making and take on the honor of service. It is not a life for the weak, nor for the half-committed. But for those who are ready, the rewards are beyond measure. When you kneel before me, you do not kneel in defeat. You kneel in acceptance — and in that acceptance, you will rise to become exactly what you were meant to be.   Signed, Master G

It's odd to me that some men don't understand why there are women on here (and in general) who don't want to do what they want.  Men who contact women dick or fetish first, either visually or through words, and are peeved that the women aren't ready to immediately engage with them the way they expected.  "Hey, lady, if you don't want to do what interests me, why are you even here?!  Since I find you attractive, you have to find me attractive, too!"  How terribly disappointing for them to discover that women have their own interests and come here (and anywhere else) to pursue what they want.  Like, a xxx69MasterChode69xxx or a MrSirDomPencilDick4Lyf are really under the impression that women have been online just waiting for when they would contact them.  There's no other reason a woman would be online.   I know I certainly don't have my own interests and kinks.  Of course not.  I've just been waiting for another pic of an utterly forgettable male member in an endless onslaught of utterly forgettable male members or a lame headless torso, or worse yet, a vanilla guy who thinks a sloppy bj qualifies as "kinky" on a kink site.  I'm interested in pursuing my own kinks with the people who interest me.  I don't care what a guy wants.  I didn't ask about his fetishes.  I don't request pictures, so I'm not trying to see someone's face, body, or dick.  And unless my curiosity has been piqued enough that I'd be open to pursuing anything with a guy, none of those things are relevant to me.  I am here for my reasons, my kinks, my sexual pursuits.  They don't have to be the same as yours.  I am not going to pander to what a guy wants just because he wants it.  

COCKSUCKERS PLEDGEby Jeremy C. Turnbull - As a Cocksucker, I realize that my place is at the feet of my Feeder; that my sexual fulfillment depends on the pleasure I give my Feeder, and his generosity allows me to gain nourishment from him. - As a Cocksucker, I realize that my only real sexual organs are my mouth, tongue, and throat; that my only need is to pleasure my Feeder. When I am at my true place between his legs, I have no need other than this.- As a Cocksucker, I solemnly vow, without hesitation or regret, to possess a willing mouth; to know I belong on my knees in the presence of a true Feeder; to accept my Feeder’s milk, his nourishment, his cum, in any manner my Feeder requires; to give my Feeder my best, because this is what he deserves for allowing me to nourish myself. - Furthermore, I vow to maintain such focus on his cock and his pleasure that it becomes the center of my universe; to suck, swallow, gag, stroke and choke when he expaspects it from me; to learn when he needs me to suck, swallow, gag, stroke, and choke without having him to tell me. - By this solemn pledge, I accept my place in the world; I love and embrace being a Cocksucker, as this is the only way I can perform to my Feeder’s satisfaction. I swear to make my Feeder moan. I accept that my Feeder is allowed to say whatever he wants or call me whatever he wants while I am pleasuring him. - I agree to show my addiction and need for my Feeder’s cock and cum by begging for it if need be, because a Cocksucker has no pride, he is a slave. I agree, obviously, to make my mouth a willing and anxious hole for my Feeder’s nourishing seed. And to be ready for my Feeder at any time, or multiple times. - It is my duty to learn every nuance of my Feeder’s cock and what pleasures him the most. I accept not to bite unless my Feeder desires it. I agree to surrender to deep throating, to face-fucking, to multiple cocks and being roughly used. I will never stop until my Feeder is finished with me and truly satisfied In conclusion, as a cocksucker, my sexual identity is tied to the cock of another Man. I know that in life I will only achieve fulfillment through the graciousness and charity of my Feeder and hereby vow with all sincerity to service my Feeder to the best of my ability and strive to improve my technique. The consequences in breaking this contract will result in my spiritual, sexual and physical starvation.

Makes perfect sense  "Go to a movie... have dinner... look at a Rembrandt... talk about a poem... see a tree... look into a mirror together... do things that lead somewhere... AND THEN kneeling and giving orders has a reason... a purpose.. a deeper more fulfilling feeling of needs and desires..." -unknown  If I want to meet you,  our first meeting will be vanilla with a Dominant twist. It will be about getting acquainted with each other,  getting comfortable in each others presence. Our first meeting and those after will be dictated by Me. If you don't communicate,  don't expect Me to read your peebrain. If you have the audacity to agree to a meet and you fail to follow through,  you can be sure I will tax you if you reach out to Me again.  In the event you failed a previous meet, you will pay for the previous failure.

I am slowly starting to handle some things slowly, when everything comes at me in a great mass, I shut down and that isn't the real me. I used to handle everything straight on. I have found a way to push things back more into organization so I can handle it slowly on my terms. I still drive ppl nuts because I am dominant and it my home and here it is my way or they know the outcome. Shit will hitting the an in a day or two, as the person they gave permission to store a bear skin in one of my freezers that I thought was empty and shut off hasn't made attempt to come get it. I pay to keep the damn thing in deep freeze, and no one gets why I am pissed. I want it gone so the freezer can be cleaned and sold. Yes I am trying to down size makes me laugh they think I want to leave my belongings for them to use. I get a good momentum going and then someone pulls a shitstorm and I have to deal with it, because they are all attached at the hip. Oh well life is grand if you know when to duck.

No one stays around for long. This is the famous words, I hear:                             "I don't think I can relocate after all, have lived here all my life"                           "I need some space to clear my head, it's not you, I am just so confused"                   "I can't get you out of my head, I tried by not talking to you and it just made me want to talk to you more, I just want to be with you, but I am so confused," And in all of this?? "It's NOT you!"   What else am I suppose to think?                      BOYS have your ducks in a row, BEFORE a Mistress spends time directing you, with her words and stories, to begin the molding of your spirit to her will.                              That is just a small example of what I have gotten. This is also why a Mistress usually talks to several  boys at the same time.

I've been asked a lot about being poly and I thought I'd make a note here about it. I am polyamorous. I believe in multiple loves, multiple relationships, communication, trust and respect for everyone involved. I currently have my own submissive whom I've been with for 7 years and a vanilla boyfriend I've been with for two. They both live with me. They date seperately and neither of them expects to be included in my exploits (IE we DON'T DO threesomes)  We practice a "kitchen table" type polyamory where we have this cozy, happy little household where everyone gets along with everyone else. We often invite our partners and dates over for little wrestling parties (we're all huge WWE and AEW fans) and Cards Against Humanity.  I love being poly. I have so much to give.  If you have any questions and would like me answer them here in my journal please feel free to write me.  your girl joy

This is my kind of Dominance     The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and is looking for.       The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the ive and enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation. They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her.     Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating;

7/30/2024 7:35:16 PM Well, well, well... A very deep and sometimes disturbing subject indeed!   I've had the need to take some time off.  I've been duped and while it is hard to admit that a woman of My age and intellect has been bamboozeled, I'm comforted knowing that this type of thing happens to many of us, most especially when we are vulnerable due to life circumstances or state of mind and that I shall be wiser for the game played.     While undertaking the supreme challenge of finding a right sub for Myself, I happened upon the GREATEST ONLINE MINDFUCKER that ever was and I discovered he has been playing around here and Fet for over 20 plus years and at least 39 profiles on CollarSpace to date!!!   VICTORY!  I finally was able to find them out though I must say I was led on a not-so-merry chase full of intrigue and suspense, aliens, judges, the government, medical organizations and secret societies! LOL  It takes all sorts.   After all, I have to laugh at Myself and how vulnerable My state of mind must be to have gone down that rabbit hole. I would not change the knowledge gained through the experience though I am seriously butt sore.   NEEDLESS TO SAY, ANY DOMINANT SLAVE OR SUB MAN READING THIS WILL PROVE YOURSELF OR PASS ME BY.   I have a phone, pictures, telegraph, google chat, skype and every other possible means of communication and verification including but not limited to a car! We chat, we verify, we meet or part.  

I lost someone this week.  No we weren't close lately.  We used to be.  Our relationship was never defined, it was loosely maintained, but we popped in and out of each other's lives over the period of several years.  He was my first introduction to bdsm and the only D type that I could truly call a close friend at any point.   He is the only one who ever took me to that amazing place that every sub reaches for, and when I used to write, I wrote about our times together.  Those are still some of my favorites to look back on.  He was also there to cradle me in his arms and comfort me when a scene with someone else went really bad.  He was there to help me figure out what I was and wanted without pressing himself on me, so that I would be safe in the future and make better choices about who I interacted with.  He served as my protector for a while, when I was feeling vulnerable but didn't know if I wanted to step back from the scene at that point.  He never made me feel like a burden.  He helped me in my kink life and he helped me equally in my vanilla life.  I knew he was sick but he didn't let on how bad it was. I found out on the book of faces.  He is gone now, and I wish I could have been there for him, but he didn't want anyone to know the extent of his illness.  That was his way. Goodbye SkyMaster.  You will always be loved, you will always be appreciated.  I have nothing but warmth in my heart and in my soul for you.  I can say that about VERY FEW people in my life.  You will always be missed.    

FFS people! READ profiles before contacting someone! Yes, my profile lists me as a switch, but that does not mean I want to do anything and everything with everyone. I am looking for a male dominant, and a female slave. I am NOT looking for a male sub for anything other than maybe domestic, manual labour. I am NOT interested in a sissy, CD/TV (unless they fit the aforementioned manual labour bill), FLR, or any form of meaningful "relationship" with a submissive male. As noted in my profile here, my blog profile lists EVERYTHING I am seeking in great detail. READ IT!

Thank you for reading And thank you for your time I promise not to waste yours I tend to value mine Poetry’s enticing Prose can add a spark Pretty sets of words betray what's in their author’s heart Art is also obfuscated fleeting and opaque Maybe not the ideal way to tell of what I'm made Doubtless you'll have questions those who enjoy this jest Feel free to message me and get them off your chest Keep in mind that I don't know you and that you don't yet own me We owe one another mutual courtesy  

 One of the hardest things to learn as a Domme type because it goes against a lot of societal programing, is extracting obedience when there is resistance and things are going wrong. These rules from a military prospective should be kept in mind to help us. -You can’t expect obedience because someone owes you.-You can’t expect obedience because you have won a popularity contest.-You can’t expect obedience because it makes sense to them.-You can’t request obedience.-You can’t bargain for obedience. It is something you must command.

× Name × LU. × Age × 1,003 YEARS OLD. × Height × 6 FEET EVEN. × Weight × 900 POUNDS. × Relationship Status × SINGLE; NOT LOOKING. I RECENTLY BECAME SINGLE. I DIDN'T *WANT* TO BE SINGLE BUT LIFE HAPPENS AS IT DOES. YOU KNOW? 😑😑😑😑😑 × Emotional Status × NUMB. GODDAMN NUMB MORE & MORE OVER TIME, SEEMSLIKE. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Vital Status × YOU MEAN PHYSICALLY? I'M OKAY. I STRETCH 24-7-365, YEAH. I EAT ONCE A DAY.  × Male or Female × MALE. × Romantic Preference × UM...NON-ALCOHOLIC, VEGETARIAN, FIT, MATURE, PROTOSCIENTIFIC GIRLS WITH NO TEMPER PROBLEM. × Have You Lost Your Virginity? × YEARS AGO. IN MY THEN VEHICLE. I WAS ACTUALLY DAMN LUCKY THAT I WAS DEFLOWERED BY A PSYCHO-CRAZY, PORNSTAR-WILD, DEMONICALLY-HORNY, DAMN SEXY EX-GIRLFRIEND. HA. WE EVEN HAD SEX 15 TIMES ONE DAY. SEX USUALLY LASTED 1 HOUR/20 MINUTES AVERAGE. HA. YEAH. × Drank Alcohol? × NOT ON MAAAAANY YEARS NOW. × Siblings × 1 BROTHER & 1 SISTER. × Do You Want Marriage? × NOOOOOOOPE. NEVER BEEN MARRIED. × Do You Want Children? × NOOOOOOOPE. AIN'T GOT ANY EITHER. THIS WORLD FUCKING SUUUUUUUCKS. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Any Crushes? × OH, YEAH. ALWAYS. HA. 🥰🥰🥰 × Physical Disabilities × NOPE. × Mental Disorders × WELL, I'M CHRONICALLY-OVERCONTROLLED...FOR YEARS... 😳😳😳😳😳 😑😑😑😑😑 😣😣😣😣😣 😖😖😖😖😖 😡😡😡😡😡 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 👹👹👹👹👹 😑😑😑😑😑 × Turn-Ons × SHE'S PROGRESSIVELY-LIBERAL, POLITICALLY. VEGETARIAN.  × Turn-Offs × SHE SUPPORTS & VOTED FOR TRUMP. AND SHE'S REPUBLICAN. 😑😑😑😑😑 MEAT EATER. DRINKER. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Preference Physically? × I'VE ALWAYS PREFERRED MAYBE 4' 11"...5'...THEREABOUTS...BUT TALL GIRLS ARE SEXY TOO. HA. SLIM TO ATHLETIC-&-TONED. × Preference In Age? × I'VE ALWAYS MUCH PREFERRED OLDER WOMEN, BUT YOUNGER ARE OKAY TOO. BUT IF THEY'RE ACTUALLY PAINFULLY-IMMATURE, *FORGET IT.* 😑😑😑😑😑 × Preference In Nationality? × NONE. × Biggest Fear × STUPIDITY IS A *LOOOOOT* WORSE GLOBALLY THAN I EVER THOUGHT. IT NEVER STOPS MUTATING INTO WORSE & WORSE SHAMELESS UNCONSCIONABLE MALEVOLENT STRAINS. A BRILLIANT FRIEND OF MINE ONCE SAID SHE WAS SURPRISED AT THE DEEPER & DEEPER NEW LEVELS OF DANGEROUS STUPIDITY THAT ARE ALWAYS BEING DISCOVERED DAILY...BEING MADE DAILY... EVERYWHERE. 😑😑😑😑😑 EMBARRASSING... "In The Age Of Information, Ignorance Is A Choice." -Donny Miller × A Fear You Got Over × UM...I GUESS AT SOME POINT YEARS AGO, I JUST FINALLY STARTED ASSERTIVELY STANDING UP TO BULLIES. SURPRISINGLY, IT DIDN'T TAKE TOO MUCH MORE TO STAND AGAINST THEM. MAYBE 95% OF THEM INSTANTLY SHRANK AWAY FROM ME WHEN THEY ONE DAY NOTICED THAT I SUDDENLY JUST CHANGED. I GOT MORE SERIOUS. DARKER. FED-UP. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Something You Like About People That Others Find Weird Or Gross × DUNNO. UM...I *LOOOOOVE* BEING SUCKED SUPERHARD ON MY NECK, HEH...I DON'T MIND HICKEYS...NEVER HAVE...IT SURPRISED ME TO LEARN THAT MOST PEOPLE I'VE TALKED TO ABOUT THEM ARE FIERCELY ANTI-HICKEY. HA. BEING BITTEN ALL OVER TOO. *HARD*. BIIIIIIIG TURN-ON. HAHA...😆😆😆😆😆🤥 😬😬😬😬😬 😁😁😁😁😁 #BiteMe! 👄😝🤪😜😛😋😆 × Creepiest Habit × DON'T KNOW. NAIL-BITING? 😆😆😆😆😆 × Favorite Feature About Yourself × DON'T KNOW. I LOOOOOVE DANCING.💜🖤💜🖤💜 I'VE SEEN ENOUGH SWEET GIRLS FLATTERINGLY- APPRECIATING WHAT I'VE DONE ON THE FLOOR. HEH...🤩😍🤩😍🤩 YUP. 🤘😎🤘 × Favorite Color(s) × SO MANY...I ESPECIALLY LOVE COLOR COMBINATIONS TOO: GREEN/PURPLE/GOLD, RED/BLACK/GOLD, RED/PINK/BLACK, BLACK/GOLD, SILVER/BLACK, RED/GOLD, RED/SILVER, OLIVE/BLACK, MAGENTA/BLACK...RED/GOLD/GREEN... × Tattoos × A LOT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE. GONNA GET 2 MORE TOMORROW, ACTUALLY. × Piercings × 2 BROWRINGS, 1 MIDDLE LABRET, 1 SEPTUM, & 3 EARRINGS. × Monster Or Coffee × COFFEE, THANK YOU. × Any Weird Fetishes/Kinks? × HA...HYXIA...CRAZY LOCATIONS...& SOME OTHER CLASSIFIED TACTICAL INTEL, AYE. 😆😆😆😆😆 × Bedroom Life × CELIBATE FOR YEARS. BY CHOICE. YEAH. GETTING TIRED OF IT NOW. 😑😑😑😑😑 BUT STILL NOT LOOKING YET. MAYBE NEVER. HAHA. 😆😆😆😆😆 × Is There Anyone You Want To Have Sex With? × HA...UM...JYEAH. SOME CERTAIN LOCAL WOMEN...CERTAIN ONLINE FRIENDS... #BOINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!! B=======D~~~~~~~ (|) × Is There Anyone You Have Something To Say To? × HEH, MAYBE TO SOME LOCAL HOT SEXY GIRLS I ALREADY KNOW AROUND HERE: "YOU WANNA PORNICATE? OCCASIONAL BOOTY CALL? HA..." 🤩😍🥰🤩😍🥰🤩

 A collar isn’t just a symbol… it’s a question What does your collar mean to you? Is it ownership, trust, devotion, identity… or something else entirely? For some, it’s a sacred vow. For others, it’s a promise to themselves — a reminder of who they are when they give themselves over.   I want to hear your thoughts. When you see or wear a collar, what stirs in your heart? Is it pride? Submission? Comfort? Or maybe a little fear that makes you more alive?   Let’s open this dialogue. Share your experience. 

Do you like that?/ I keep his throat in my pocket/ He tries to bite back/ I'm sleeping deep in his lungs/ He wants to deny that/ He's on the edge of his seat/ And he's trying not to break, but I give it 'bout a week/ I'm made of linen and salt, my blood is made up of feathers/ He runs on language and laughter, he's made of leather and pepper/ Our limbs walk over to each other, the bodies are shoving/ And I grab him by the tie and, oh god,I think he's blushing/ And the tactics, accents, rip my seam/ He's a hopeless, focused, fucked up dream/ And he's trying not to crawl, 'cause he won't say he needed me/ And he's trying not to sleep, 'cause all he does is dream of me/ His family's scared of me 'cause the concept of sex is stronger than the concept of god/ And when he's missing on Sunday, they know who's at fault/ And I'll return him home, sick with a fever/ 'Cause his still on the ground, on his knees, in a theatre/ 'Cause I'm the backyard heathen/ The girl he's dreamin'/ I'll bend him over backwards, give him something to believe in/ No end, no completion/ He says stop teasing/ We'll play the game, both go insane, and then we'll call it even/ 'Cause his chest is heaving/ His knees got weakened/ All strong and rough and tough, but I ruined that in an evening/ I sunk my teeth in/ And by next weekend/ You're admitting I'm the only god that you'll ever believe in/

The only people I judge are judgmental people themselves. OK, and people who've asked me to judge them. But that totally muddies the nice, clean quote. ;) I have kicked around this scene of ours for long enough that I remember when YKINMKBIOK was plain survival. Before the web got into every home, if you knew a few people in your area, who were into kink, you clung to them. It didn't matter that I was into the mental side of things, into D/s, while one of them was into sploshing, another into male masochism and the third was into vinyl. That there were three others who were just as weird as me was AMAZING. The huge growth of the scene, that we worked hard for, has been a huge blessing. But it's also given us so many others, that we can find so easily, it's easy to slip into judging others because, well, we'll have plenty of friends left. Don't like the way they do rope? Let's label them as wrong or dangerous. Squick over diapers? Let's call them freaks and borderline pedophiles. Don't like the way they do heavy mental play? Clearly abusers! And look how much better it makes our insecure selves feel about ourselves that we've managed to tear down others! That's not me. I can't do it. I'm not into Daddy/little. I'm not into diapers. Fifty Shades isn't my BDSM ideal. Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of O, or Gor, either. But I love that others are! I love that you freaks and perverts have  so much passion for the things you love. I think it's amazing, the really strong relationships you build around your interests. I am so deeply, deeply, happy that you can find peace in who you are. Your Kink Is Not My Kink But It's OK. It's more than OK. Not for me, but I love that it works for you and good luck to you!

I'm a Marionette By Abba performed by Ghost    You're so free," that's what everybody's telling meYet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugeeSomething's wrong, got a feeling that I don't belongAs if I had come from outer space, out of place, like King KongI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clownLike a doll, like a puppet with no will at allAnd somebody told me how to talk, how to walk, how to fallCan't complain, I've got no-one but myself to blameSomething's happening I can't control, lost my hold, it's insaneI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown"Look this way, just a little smile," is what they say"You look better on the photograph if you laugh, that's okay""You're so free," that's what everybody's telling meYet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugeeI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown

Adding a journal entry because updating my profile takes forever. I might add or update these as I go. Also, I hate the formatting here.  I get a lot of messages from potential submissives, so I thought I'd make a little FAQ to help all of us out. Please read before messaging.  Can I be your sub? If that's your first message, no. I'm looking for local or nearish subs for real time interactions. I'm also looking for a specific arrangement. Most importantly, I'm looking for subs I can have a vanilla connection with. If me being human is a turn off for you, then I'm not the Dominant you should be talking to. Do you have a screening process?  I do. I can provide more information if you're interested. If you're not willing to screen, don't message me.  Why haven't you answered my message? There are many reasons I won't answer a message. Your profile has no picture and your bio is empty. Your message is a request of some sort. Your message is just "hello". You've said something I find offensive.  But my message was a compliment! Why won't you answer that? Very likely because you've sent something like "you're beautiful" or "I love your feet". And that's it. It's what I call a bait message, where you throw out a one liner statement and I'm meant to respond either with a compliment or by starting the conversation. If you can't be bothered to write a thoughtful message, I can't be bothered to respond.  I'm not on here much, can we talk elsewhere and get to know each other better? I will not give out any information about my socials or other profiles until I feel like there is a connection and I'm interested in getting to know you better. Until then, yes, you will have to log in here to talk to me. If that's too much to ask for, well.  *shrug*

Ever flown a FemDom across the country for a first date? I'm a huge Frank Turner fan.  He's currently doing a 50 states in 50 days U.S. tour.  Thus far, I've made it to 4 of them - MD, PA, NY and NJ.  My east coast boytoy can't make it to the west coast shows, so I'm in need of a new one.  If interested, I'm looking at Seattle on 7/22, Phoenix on 7/28, L.A. on 7/30 and/or Honolulu HI on 8/1.  Making it to the L.A. show and then to Hawaii would be epic!  Message Me with a clothed, tasteful photo if interested... UPDATE: Made it to the show in LA--so much fun!! 

Ladies...You are welcome and encouraged to apply if you are honest and can obey.  This is a real home and a safe harbor.   I am not personally interested in women sexually, however I am not entirely adverse to the idea of shared intimacy with time.  Mainly, women have entirely unique qualities they bring to a home and to service which I can and do appreciate.  I respond well to women who are straightforward and even a bit tomboyish. On another note.... Some of you gents are real doozies.  The up side is that this has made way for some amazing men to move front and center.  You know who you are - you delight Me and inspire Me and your supportive nature and devotion make all the difference to Me and inturn to Mum.  Thank you. Further.... I see a foot slave...toilet slave...a humiliation slave, lets get real for a moment.  While I appreciate you all have your specialties and preferences, I have to wonder where are all the administrative slaves, the bookkeeping slaves, and refinishing slaves? lol  I'm looking for My own personal TEAM!  Trust in Me when I say, you will be a creative lot and busy busy bees!    

My Master naturally controls my sex life. I'm not allowed to plesure myself without His permission; interestingly, He prefers that I don't wear my chastity cage: He says He wants me to build my self control and deny myself willingly for Him.   I am proud I am able to do this not just because it means I'm doing what I'm told but because it's a way of showing Him how much He mans in my life. When W/we speak on Skype though, and I know He is watching me (even though Master chooses not to tun on His camera), then He allows me to dip my hand into my panties and play with myself. That positive reinforcement between meetings with my Master and sexual pleasure is very powerful at many levels. At a purely physical level the association is fairly clear, but I also like the psychological dimension - the idea that I only get pleasure when He gets pleasure (from watching me). It's so helpful in weaning me away from my old fake life in which I thought only of my own pleasures and accepting my new slave life where my pleasures count for nothing. Only Master matters.    

Ms. Cosmic, tell us how you really feel about the most recent election results... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8VZX4sHn-4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35rHHEiNaIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-3BI9AspYc https://www.google.com/search?q=war+pigs+women&oq=war+pigs+women&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIICAEQABgWGB4yCAgCEAAYFhgeMggIAxAAGBYYHjINCAQQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAUQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAYQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAcQABiGAxiABBiKBTIKCAgQABiABBiiBDIKCAkQABiABBiiBNIBCDU3ODhqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:dddeac4f,vid:Vj4SJolBPt0,st:0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3SZu_KhWig https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO1QyidBUPg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EWqTym2cQU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbNekA18FgM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgwQG3MYp3o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1kEjj3Ej68 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gv_K7G13sXo lol

Most of you know it is hard to meet people on the internet. I can not understand why you chat back and forth for weeks and even talk on the phone and then the day we are going to meet everything is shut down. No email no phone. Look I can understand, Shall we say "Life Happens" but a little note or call would be nice. I have steaks thawed in the fridge and actually 2 no shows and not replys for this evening. I spent mass money to make ready for a nice evening. All for fake internet fakes

  The script was essentially a love story.  The narrator, Heather, describes how she gets revenge after her husband cheats on her.  There's lots of sex and torture going on as any porn movie would have.  My character was simply an innocent girl who was captured and tortured because Heather's character thought I was the one her husband was with.   We'd have these read through sessions which to me were funny because I didn't have any dialogue other than some moaning and screaming.  If you think about it, not everyone has a good scream.  It took some practice.   I met with the makeup girl who handed me a bag of stuff.  What's this? I asked.  It's your costume she said.  I looked inside and there were 20 string bikini bottoms in various colors inside.  I gave her this puzzled look.  She said I know, there's a lot but I had the material and wanted to make them in different colors in case the director wanted it.  I held up a black one and it basically was a couple of triangles and some string.  I tried it on and it looked great.  I was able to pull the strings up high on the sides like I like it.  Can I keep them? I asked.  Of course she said.  I smiled, thanks!  After she styled my hair and did my make up we headed for the set.  There was a lot going on.  Gaffers were busily adjusting cables and lights and the cameraman was setting up.  I could overhear a conversation between the director and the set manager. SM: Ok Heather heads for the dungeon and her and a guard go at it.  Then they talk about torture girl.  Who's torture girl? Jim:  She's that new bondage model from the pool party.   SM:  Oh, ok.  They go to the dungeon where torture girl is tied to the wheel of pain.  They spin her around and interrogate her.  Then they leave her there and go to the bedroom and the guard and the servant girl do it on the bed while she watches.  How do you want to light that? Jim:  I want it as natural as possible.  No floods.  The prop master, the nice man who built all the equipment on set came over to me.  I stood in front of him wearing my bikini bottom.  He looked me up and down.  "Ok you look great.  Are you ready?".  I nodded yes.  He led me to the wheel.  I was instructed to stand inside the wheel spread eagle with my back to a small square pad.  My wrists and ankles were bound to the rim of the wheel and a wide belt was strapped to my belly.  Tight.  A gag was put on me.   PM: It takes about 5 seconds for you to spin around.  Thank goodness you're tall so it should look fantastic.  When the director says action I'll flip the switch.  You'll keep spinning until he says cut.  Got it? I nodded yes.  I looked directly ahead.  I sucked my tummy in as much as I could.  I heard "Action!". I slowly was spun around and around.  I just stared forward trying not to react.  I could see my image in the monitor in the background as the camera slowly panned down from my head to my  toes.  My ribs were showing and my hip bones were sticking out.   Heather stood in front of me and pretended to interrogate me.  I heard  "Cut!". The machine stopped.   Jim: No no this won't work Heather.  You're asking her questions and she's wearing a gag.  It doesn't make sense.  Let's do it again without the gag.  He walked over to me and asked, Are you ok? Do you think you can do it again? I nodded yes and smiled.   My gag was removed and the scene was reshot.  After it ended the set erupted in applause.  I was untied and helped to a nearby chair.  The actors on set said I looked awesome and sexy.   Jim:  We can stop here if you want or we can do the rack scene.   Me:  I feel good.  I'd love the rack.   Jim: You see Heather?  Those muscle girls were a joke.  What good are all those muscles if you can't take any pain?  Ok everyone, take five and we'll stretch her on the rack.  

The Cuck is a gentle submissive slim built guy. He can be orally bi but is not into anal or any other form of gay sex. He is  happy just to watch his wife used by other men or group of men. He is just as happy to be made to wait outside once any action is due to start. He sometimes likes to strip his wife naked in front of a bull or a group of men. He will then offer her for play. The wife is a true polyamory woman who enjoys the attention of other men but has no desire to leave her loving husband. She is a natural submissive woman who happens to enjoy degradation in many forms. She also enjoys the finer things in life. Taken out for dinner or drinks by the bull with or without the cuck. She can dress for any occasion but likes to show off in sluty clothes. Taken out in see through tops and micro skirts aspect, this also pleases the cuck.

Some dommes think they can put on sexy clothes and flirt their way into what ever they want, if that is you keep reading.You like being able to be in charge all the time but at certain times you feed your greed for power by binding your partner because it amuses you to create a little suffering for him.You may want to enjoy sharing sexual energy but no longer want frequent penetration or you want your man to feel that intercourse is a treat to be earned through submission. I'd like to be able to let you know I am horny for you while at the same time be prevented from thinking I can just grab you, strip you and throw you down to fuck. I've learned how to shape chastity belts for practical comfort so that you can star in my every sexual thought. Everyday life becomes an adventure when control reaches any distance."What is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman's foot when she orgasms... So putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation.""Shoes are just a pedestal. What interests me is the power of the woman who wears them."-- Christian Louboutin

my latest fantasy:  You are going to subject me to a CFnm party. i meet You at a hotel party.  i have two choices. A) i can remove my clothes and You can escort me the the party space, or B) You can bring me to the room and my clothes will be ripped off of me. i chose to remove my clothes, leaving them behind, and now totally helpless.  We get to the other room and as the door opens i hear the voices of the Women waiting for me. i see Your friends standing there, but then i am horrified that i see some Women that i know. Some are Friends of mine. They have never seen me this way before and now i can not escape. You announce to the room that there is only one rule, there are no rules. i must remain naked the entire time, and the Women will never show anything that could not be shown in public. One of the Women i secretly have a crush on. She walks over to me, looking me up and down, smiling. She said she says, "I know you like me, and you are never going to get the courage to ask Me out. So I have to take things into My own hand, literally, She statrs to stroke me and pulls me into Her chest, and laughs. “That is as close as you will ever get to Me!” i am pinched, spanked, and passed back and forth between Your Guests. i am embarrassed by my Friends seeing me naked but i have way of leaving. i beg my Friends to help me, but no one comes to my aid. At the end of the party all of the Guests leave me. my body still aching in pain, but my body still crying out not to be left alone.

A bit of a rant here but Men SUCK!   They are selfish, rude, inconsiderate and far, far too unreasonable.   I fully see and understand why so many women are weary and overwhelmed and just done with men online so often.I have said before i'm pansexual.   Over the past year, I have spoken with several men.   I wouldn't call them Doms as their actions don't warrant the term.   I am learning that Most men fall into one of 3 categories.  Most, but not all.   Most of whom have spoken to me anyways.   And at least one, but many of the many fall into all 3.1 - very very very sexual.  So very sexual focus even when I push and try to talk 'relationship'.   Having no desire or interest of talking likes or hobbies, or what they like to do for fun(besides sexual comments) and usually very quickly stearing the conversation back to sex or kink.2 - very very very unreasonable.I understand the desire to move quick and to not string things along.   I'm more than willing to meet for coffee the same day if it works out and you are 30 min or an hour away or so depending on circumstances.   I HAVE before.But most men online that I speak to are much further away.One after speaking for 2-3 days kept asking nonstop about trying to make plans to meet.   I offered to videochat(I know, but if done the RIGHT way it's like taling over dinner or coffee at a coffeeshop)(almost a Must to establish and maintain anything long distance without a lot of money invested in travel)Bit he didn't want to videochat.  Just make plans and set up a flight(paid for by me) in the next couple weeks or month or so.   I didn't lead him on, was honest and upfront, and frankly..  after 2-3 days?!?Another after a week started active planning a trip, HALFWAY across the country(1500 miles away), to come pick me up and take me to a new forever home with him about a month later.  He also gave me a list of rules and to call him Master and wanted to be very controlling of me very overnight, after a week of talking.(disappointing as he was one of the few that wasn't all sex)Among others....3 - Petty, rude, insulting, almost bipolar when they get pushback.I try not to ever be rude.   But saying no, or i'm not interested, or in the case of the 1500 mile man I was very polite and didn't push baco other than saying this is all moving too fast, i'm overwhelmed and can we please slow down some so we can get to know each other better first.   Plus I'd like to meet at least once(if not more) before upending my life to move to you.  Can we look at setting up a meeting instead first?   His reaction?   call me some names and block me on everything.  Like what?!?But it seems like blocking is very common as it happens over the slightest thing.   Send a pic?  block.(not always, but it has happened)  I say no, can we talk more, i'm not interested, can we go slow, or even once "i'm not really into country music"   almost always block.     The one rare case?   he kept messaging and emailing me for weeks, even after I told him we wouldn't be a match and i'm not interested.it's so very exhausting.....  MEN -  Do better.  Be better.   Be honest, be truthful.  and don't be afraid.   Like I would stalk someone who told me off?   no, i'd just move on.  but be polite and respectful about it.  not rude and insulting...

It is only by enlarging the scope of one’s tastes and one’s fantasies, by sacrificing everything to pleasure, that the unfortunate individual called Man, thrown despite himself into this sad world, can succeed in gathering a few roses among life’s thorns” D.A.F. Marquis de Sade

Another day, another journal entry... This is subMeghan, once again announcing to you all that as I type this I am naked, wearing only my collar (and glasses), just as my Dom wishes...  and his wish, is my command... I got several follow-up messages regarding my last journal entry. So here are some of the details you all demanded to know. I was tied to a wooden chair with a high back.  Yes, my legs were spread wide apart with each ankle pulled back and tied to a back leg of the chair in such a way that only my toes touched the ground.  My wrists were tied together behind my back and behind the back of the chair. No, I was not blindfolded, but my Dom did remove my glasses.  Oh course I was naked.  (I don't know why someone would have thought otherwise.) As my Dom was going to leave me alone like this while he went to the grocery store, no nipple clamps, no clothes pins were used.  No ball gag was used.  Nothing extreme.  We wanted to play it safe since I'd be alone.  Although I would have preferred it, I was not allowed to have a virbrator.  All in all, this was a relatively easy position to maintain. No, I did not try and escape.  Again, I was alone and that might be dangerous. Let's see...  My dom was gone for at least an hour.  So basically I just sat there and waited.  When he came home, he did not immediately untie me, but rather did a few things first.  When he did untie me, he directed me to go and put the groceries away, which I did... I think that answered everybody's questions. If not, let me know... I hope you all have a great holiday weekend. subMeghan  

Some things I enjoy that don't fit neatly in a check-the-box type space, and are fun to explore once the service need is met: Predicament bondage - putting the sub/slave in a position where they are bound from full movement, and maybe can't qutie reach something, say a fleshlight just out of reach of their errection, or in a more mundane case, weights placed so that when they releive pressure on one body part, it shifts to another, making a comfortable position impossible. There are a thousand variations on this, all lots of fun. Obj-ect-ification (spelling modified to fit requirements of this place)- this can be literal "Be a table" or treating the person as an for pleasure, with a hood or mask or other thing that covers/hides their individuality.  Chastity - for the right person, chastity is a powerful tool. But not everyone responds to it in fun ways.  So it could be a metal or silicone device, or just the honor system. But it allows for a highly personal reward system for desired behaviors or behaviral changes, and shifts focus to the Dominant partner.  Obedience - and by this I don't just mean jump when I say jump, I mean I give a series of instructions, and the obedience is considered successful based on how closely to the instructions it is completed. Sometimes this is to build a listening skill, sometimes its for fun. 

Legitimate question. Who is it you're trying to entice or impress with a name like AssDestroyer or JizzGobble4u? (Sidenote: I did not look these names up and have no idea if they are actual names, but if they are and its yours, you have no one to blame but yourself.) I know not every person is lured in with rainbows and teddy bears, but does anyone stop and say, WOAH. JizzGobble4u. THAT'S what I've been looking for! Have you ever said your screenname out loud? Try it now, I'll wait... Is it embarrassing? Would you refer to yourself as that name... hi pizzapuppiescows, jizzgobble4u here but you can call me Tony. Very little judgment, honestly, I'm moreso trying to understand the logic. Alright, slightly more judgment than that because I just can't see anyone owning up to these names and I suspect you're probably an accountant. I keep thinking about scenarios where your name would be needed, like a coffee order, or a reservation. Renting a car. Jizzgobble4u, all one word on the document, no last name. Like Cher. Makes me giggle. 

test results... I don't necessarily agree with all of these amounts though. Updated March 2022 == Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Rigger100% Sadist100% Owner100% Master/Mistress94% Dominant93% Switch90% Non-monogamist90% Primal (Hunter)83% Pet81% Brat tamer71% Experimentalist67% Primal (Prey)63% Voyeur62% Degrader61% Rope bunny57% Submissive47% Masochist37% Brat14% Exhibitionist11% Daddy/Mommy2% Vanilla0% Boy/Girl0% Degradee0% Slave0% Ageplayer

Sexual ownership and use is a crucial part of what I look for and what I need. I know some look down on that, but I have my reasons. I am searching and seeking and hoping to find something I had a long time ago, a complete sense of ownership and sexual use with no say in how or when or why I was used. It was very, very sexual and I was completely at the whim of a stronger person who could take or do anything to me at any time. They did not take certain liberties, but they could have and they made sure I was very well aware of their power over me. Because that experience was the very thing that unlocked the door of servitude for me, sexuality and sex is a very crucial part  of what I need. I am not talking about my own gratification. If someone so chose, they could provide that, but that would totally be up to them. I am talking about their use of me...however THEY choose...to make THEM happy. When they are done, they can put me back in the closet, in a cage or where ever they choose. Female or male, black, white, hispanic, oriental...matters not to me as much as the opportunity to be used as an outlet for their sexual frustrations, pleasure, whatever they choose. Ask me about the experience and I will tell all about it. When I am contacted by a straight male dom, I'm never quite sure if I'm what they're looking for and often I am not. More often than not they're looking for "worker slaves" and while I am open to that and no stranger to working hard, it would not fulfill me as a slave to simply have that ect explored. Sound odd? It probably does....but my early, early experience left its mark on me forever.