Ashtart 

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ABOUT ME:      I am a “Service Oriented” slave. I was born with a slave’s heart and nothing gives me greater pleasure than to Serve. As a slave, I know that BDSM is not about me, but how I may serve you and make your life easier for you. I possess honestly, integrity and ethics and I expect the same from the Dominate as well. I see my future where I will live in a rigid, powerful Female-Led Relationship where the Mistress will make and enforce the Rules of our relationship. What I Have to Offer: *I will accept your will and decisions without hesitation or ion. I WILL OBEY! *I will devote myself to fully pleasing you including doing all of the housework, laundry, shopping, etc. to remove any unwanted tasks from your life (Service Oriented Slave) *I will accept all forms of discipline and punishment when required to insure I remain focused on obeying your Rules, Commands and Instructions. Obviously, you may also punish me whenever you feel like doing so just for your amusement   Our Relationship: * You will determine my schedule and how I spend my time  in an effort to add quality to your life *You will decide what I wear and when I wear it to humiliate and control me * You will benefit from my unique wisdom and areas of expertise as developed over the years. However, the final decision in any matter is yours alone *Our relationship will be dedicated to a lifestyle, not a form of role-playing (Female Supremacy to male subservience) *Our relationship will be based on Trust and Compatibility. Such an arrangement like this is not something you just jump into without developing trust with each other *In its purest form, our relationship will be all about You.

    Hi, my name is Infinite Arms and I’m a masochist. I mean let’s be honest, you’ve got to be to keep attempting to navigate this shit hoping for a decent outcome.  I’m a physical masochist - being hit / given physical pain makes me happy (read very wet) but I’m also a massive emotional and psychological masochist.  The physical bit is easy enough - plenty of people will hit you with hitty things, less people with hit you with fisty things, even less people will cut you, break the occasional rib, but there are people.  The emotional and psychological masochism is the difficult part I’m finding, but my circumstances are probably a big factor in that. I’m married - we met through kink and we still do kink when life allows. But we both have other facets we indulge outside our relationship. I won’t tell you his, he can do that, but mine is very much focussed on someone being mean to me.  There are lots of levels of mean, physical pain is just one of them (a very fun one), but my masochism also leans a lot towards more emotional and psychological aspects and this is the bit I struggle to get in the extracurricular stuff.  So I prefer to play with people who are poly, or not looking for a full time relationship, because I have one of those and he’s wonderful and irreplaceable. I also don’t really like people who are doing it all behind their partners back, because that’s just hard work and it feels pretty crappy to be the one being cheated on so there’s that.  But - and here’s the unicorse poo part - I do need to have some kind of connection / dynamic / relationship for the emotional psychological stuff to be meaningful.  ification and degradation and just general worthlessness is one of my biggest kinks. And, maybe it’s just for me, but that doesn’t work if I have no level of connection with the person who’s making me that low. I like (well love to hate) to be told I can’t touch, or orgasm, in between play sessions. Admittedly I’m sometimes utterly shit at that but I’m working on it. And that doesn’t work if there’s not some sort of friendship or mutual appreciation going on.  In short, I don’t want to marry you, or have any detrimental impact on any relationship you are in. But I cannot promise I won’t be fond of you, because, for me at least, that tends to be a byproduct of having someone be mean to me in the aforementioned ways.  No real reason for this post other than a handy th

We've gotten a few questions, people asking for more info about me dating the Trump supporter. We're still dating! When Kamala entered the race, I teased him a few times about losing to a woman and he'd always make it a point to tell me later (when I was tied up or bent over or otherwise had him inside me) that November wasn't going to change anything for me, that I'd still be fucking him on Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, basically anytime he wanted. We don't get too into the details - he's not super politically engaged and it's actually kind of upsetting to think about the state of the country, and how rights are being taken away all the time, when I'm in a relatively privileged position and choosing to indulge in this kind of play. A few people asked how we met. We're in the same grad school program and he's always starting arguments about politics and "how come people don't just get a driver's license if they want to vote so bad", that kind of thing. I'd always jump in and push back, and he told me later that he liked getting me riled up. He said he liked seeing me flush and get upset and try to convince him of things when he didn't really care. We chatted a few times before classes and he'd be incredibly forward so he knew I was married, knew I wanted kids, made a few comments if I wore a choker or a fashion collar. After class one night, my car battery was dead so he came over and gave me a jump. We were the only ones left in the lot so while we were standing outside in the dark, he slid his hands in the back pockets of my jeans and pulled me against him. I instinctively reached back and he trapped my hands and held them behind my back while kissing me, jamming his tongue in my mouth. I blew him in his car and we made plans to go out that weekend. He's pretty rough and he loves being in charge. My husband will buy all sorts of bondage toys and I'll take them to the cop's apartment and that's where they stay. He keeps bondage straps on his mattress, has a spreader bar that he straps my hands and ankles to, has all of my favorite ball gags and blindfolds and plugs. He's also incredibly respectful, in his own way. He doesn't push limits we've discussed and I've gotten him to say things like "do you want me inside you?" which is as close to consent as he's interested in, but is still a huge deal. I let him take pictures of me tied up and naked as long as he obscures my face. I know men always show their friends and there's always the chance he revenge porns me if we break up, and he totally understood without arguing. He said he hears about that at work from teens and he knows it's a huge problem. Last story - he had me tied up recently, wrists and ankles on the spreader bar, gagged, a black hood over my entire head. Then his doorbell rang and he let in one of his buddies. We had discussed before that I was open to other men but I wasn't going to let them fuck me without protection. And here I was, ass up in the air, a stranger carassing me, unbuckling his belt. I started whimpering and wiggling my fingers. I was starting to make our safety signal when I heard him say "dude, condom, come on." I'm not going to say chivalry isn't dead but it made me feel good that he wasn't like "huh huh huh just fuck her in the ass huh huh huh." I gave them both a hell of a ride in gratitude. And to answer the most common question, no I'm not pregnant yet!

Rush I could feel the blood coursing through my veins. My skin was flushed and I could feel my heart beat with excitement. I cast my gaze downward, taking in the full length of the beauty who had submitted to me. Sweat glistend from her soft skin. Her arms and legs stretched to their full extent. Her eyes pleading. Her mouth clentched on the gag which stifled her words, but did little to muffle her moans. It was her idea. She wanted to have her limits pushed. Pushed beyond her previous play. I was riding her edge in so many ways. Keeping her on the brink. Permission withheld. Applying pleasure, and pain according to her liking, but never enough. She could flirt with her orgasm, but I held her back. Torture, but not from pain. Torture from the pleasure without release. I abandoned her to her need. That look on her face. Pleading with her eyes and body. I wanted a break. Taking my time. Poured myself a tall ice water to cool off. I walked back the ice clinking in my glass. The bed complained as I settle next to her. She did not. I was greeted with an expectant look. A smirk even. She was ready for the next chaper. She knew that the story had not run its course. I admired the marks that I left on her body. Hand prints and crop marks set upon a pink background from a generous amount of flogging. I plucked an ice cube from my glass. Gentlly traced my marks with the ice, leaving a trail of water and a slight shiver from my submissive. My tracing spiraled around her breasts encouraging her nipples to their full extent. I teased her belly button then towards her clit. I alternated between a vibrator and the ice until it melted. I retrieved the remaining ice from my glass. Traced her inner thigh. I rub the entrance before slipping the ice inside. I could see the discomfort, as I relished my control. Inserted another piece for good measure. I could feel the blood flowing to my cock. Engorged and ready. I rubbed the head against her, before sliding inside. I savored the cold created by her internal ice bath. It was time to get started...

Feeding on the crumbs and starving She embraces different experiences with different people in different situations trying to quench the thirst that keeps building inside her. She wants to be in a collar on her knees .... she longs to feel her submission again, to turn over the reins that strangle her and hold her in top space. She understands her value in top space but it doesn’t feed her soul. She has been looking for years for the situation to change ..... thinking it will happen when its suppose to happen until then trying to feed her hidden side from the crumbs left about in these different situations. A little submission here, a little consensual non consensual there, just small almost minuscule crumbs. There are days where she decides it just isn’t a part of her anymore and she pushes away the feeling refusing to let it in and sometimes she succeeds for a while but the void continues to grow, the walls fall in on her and its the only thought in her mind. That is when it consumes her cruelty reminding her of her needs, her feelings, and her memories. Like a movie you cant turn off...... she can see herself so vividly, she can feel the feelings she once felt, she can taste the release in her obedience, she remembers being engulfed in him and in that moment she worried only for his want in her. She is coming back out slowly, kind of scared and kinda lurking. What drives her, what pushes her is the fire that burns, the thoughts she cant get out of her head, the feelings that linger like a drug to an addict ..... she is close to self domination for the first time in her life which is a very confusing thought for her ... she holds on gring at straws and living in her dreams...she doesn’t know how to approach people, she doesn’t know how to get close to people and she cant automatically trust .... these things will leave her with herself, her memories, her dreams

I'd like to thank Master Thatch from Michigan for His very insightful comments on the issue of Ownership which I found very reassuring!  Thank you Sir!   "My last boy was owned We both live in the United States He lived in Ohio I live in Michigan We had a long distance Master and slave relationship Its possible You dont have to be a live in to be owned Now Im not saying that Master is wrong Every Master has their own ideals and definitions so theirs may be live in slaves are owned So that would indeed make them right but my definition of owned is when a boy has kneeled and pleaded their mind, body and soul to me and I have placed a collar around their neck and we are intertwined in a relationship Distance isnt an issue And Im not into live in slavery The relationship is monogamous, the boy is owned by only one Master and has only one Dom and that is me However that boy was leased out to other Doms from time to time"

I was in Dallas so I contacted this bitch man I met on Collarspace. He was happy to come to my hotel, buy me dinner and a beer and go up to my room for a good facefucking. He was big, fat and out of shape, as I ate I asked him questions, and was timid and respectful and always good to call me Sir. I learned about his lack of sex life and what led him to want to suck cock so bad he would met a stranger and submit. He was smart and articulate but, as most unaware of why they want this. His nipples jutted through his shirt as we talked. I let him know his bitch tits would suffer soon. He was excited to know. As we went up to my room I made him stand with his nose in the corner of the elevator. It was going to be a fun night.    

The “Honest” secret to a truly happy life I came to this epitome recently which felt as if I found a jigsaw piece that I didn’t even know I had loss. I have always known that I do not think the same as most people but never thought about why. As a young kid I was exposed to motivational speakers and realized that the affirmations, meditation and even the music I listened to affected my mood. I grew up confident in my abilities and became a natural leader but never questioned why. I watched an interview where the topic of honesty and lying came up. The interview prompted me to research the physical and mental effects of lying and I was surprised. What resulted caused me to self-evaluate my some of my deepest personality traits. I felt as if I had been bumping into things in a dark room my whole life without even knowing it and a light was turned on. Nothing in my life is any different today but I can now clearly see how being completely honest has had a major impact in my life. It has affected me physically, mentally in amazing ways that I had not considered until now. When I was successful at something I took credit and if I failed, I accepted the responsibility. There were no participation trophies, if I screwed up I learned to accept the consequences. As a result, I develop strong mental and social connections with those close to me because people inherently understood that I had integrity and they could trust me. While still in high school I recognized that most of my peers were interested in sex but few knew anything about it. I was experienced which high school girls found very attractive so I took advantage of it. As an athlete I used affirmations that I was going to be successful it was uplifting and positive. My success with girls gave me confidence and it became self-fulfilling the more experience I gained the more they were interested in me. Self-deception shapes our reality, influencing choices and beliefs both negatively and positively. Many types of ‘lying’ also involve self-deception, in Aesop's fable "The Fox and the Grapes". The fox in the end, gives up and walks away, saying the grapes weren't that good anyway. The fox demonstrates how self-deception can be useful for avoiding the discomfort of unmet desires. When I was not successful with a girl, I would chalk it up to it was her loss not mine. It was because of that attitude that I never let failure slow me down. I have shared a story many times that, I honestly thought everyone was having sex when I was in high school because I was. Several years after high school I met a friend and we talked about the girls we dated. I was amazed that he never had sex with any of them, he was a virgin until he was in college. I screwed every girl I dated, if fact I flat out told them if I was going to go out and spend money on them, I would require at least a blow job. A few were offended but most were intrigued some even enough to pay for the date. That story always meant something to me because all of my guy friends were talking about getting laid but come to find out they were all full of shit. It has proven to reinforce my confidence and success with women. It turns out that studies have shown, those who believe lying will give them monetary or social recognition are more likely to continue being dishonest. Those who tend to be insecure or have an anxious, avoidant or attachment issues are more likely to be dishonest to avoid being criticized, rejected. Lying affects self-esteem, emotions and can lead to psychological consequences. Dishonesty puts the brain in a state of heightened alert, and this stress increases with the magnitude of the lie. There are very real symptoms of anxiety like increased respiratory and heart rates, sweating, dry mouth. That is how a lie detector works it measures your anxiety but there is a reason it does not work on everyone and I will get to that. The gut-brain axis refers to the two-way communication between the two systems, and explains why people describe feeling butterflies in their stomach under extreme stress. Research has shown the act of lying stimulates the neocortex, limbic system the temporal lobe and other areas of the brain. When we deceive someone the Amygdala, the part of the brain that regulates emotion, is activated, and we tend to feel shame or guilt. Brain imaging experiments have shown the limbic system in a dishonest brain lighting up like a fireworks display. Unfortunately, they also show that the brain can adapt to dishonest behavior. Studies have found that habitual lying can desensitize our amygdala and may even encourage people to tell bigger lies to get the same rush in the future. Those that lie all the time about little things tend to pass a lie detector because their body does not respond normally. A 2002 study performed found that 60 percent of people lied at least once during a 10-minute conversation, telling an average of two to three lies. A 2010 study have shown that the average American tells one to two lies a day. Many people find deception essential for survival and social interaction to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. I will do my best to avoid confrontations and avoid topics where I anticipate difficulties but I will not lie to protect feelings or keep someone’s secret. I have always told people, do not lie to protect me because I will tell the truth no matter the consequences and you will get burned. At least to me being honest about everything is not a moral choice, I just find it a lot less stressful. If you have nothing to hide, there is nothing be worry about. If you fuck something up own it and get past it. The facts prove that I am right, if you are in a small group you have to keep track of what you told each person so not to create a confusion. A liar has to steer conversations to avoid tripping over lies which will create the need for more lies or blend, bend lies to make the fit. I am sure that some enjoy the mental gymnastics and get a rush out of deceiving people and they become pathological liars. For most, it just creates anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and all kinds of other stresses. I take the time each day to appreciate what I have achieved. I try to meditate, say affirmations, practice yoga in order to center myself. Life is good…. I have always known I look at life different than most people but never questioned why. I now have a better understanding why a lot of women I correspond with eventually ghost me. My actual life is their fantasy world and they either assume that I am lying. When it becomes clear that I am serious it can scare the shit out of them. I have found that when faced with everything they say they want, their reality kicks them in the ass. They have family obligations, children, career or other considerations that will prevent them from leaving the world they know. In the end they are just looking for a masturbation partner. There a few adventurous enough, that when provided an opportunity to recreate their life, step out of their comfort zone and make the changes necessary to make their fantasies come true. Choosing to live your life before it is too late can be scary. Imagine your life six months from now not having to worry about going to work, paying rent or other bills and everything you need like food, clothing, shelter is provided. The perfect 1950’s homemaker that spends her time taking care of the Master of the home. I have been active in the kink community for my entire life and can make fantasies come true. I won a successful business, multiple vehicles, my home, a bar that hosts monthly BDSM lifestyle events and have organized the Key West kink community for over ten years. I now realize that when I share my reality, the truth about what I have accomplished and what I have to offer it sounds like a lie. Nothing in my life is any different today and I do not know what I am going to do with, this new found understanding of what makes me who I am. I guess the funniest thing is, when I am not successful with a potential slave it is truly her loss not mine. If anyone who knows me wants to comment on what I have written, please feel free. I would appreciate any feedback.  

December 9,2023 - Coaches first visit       First visit with "The Coach" today. I'm not sure, but I think the Coach is the closest thing to a completely straight guy that I've had visit me in a quite a while.   I seem to attract the bisexual guys who are dominant in their work but desire to be submissive to another male. And I think that was the case today.   Coach and I messaged on FetLife for a while, determining what he wanted and what his limits were. Then we set up a time for his first visit. It was going to be just after he had coached a game, so I was sure he would have a good mix of testosterone and adrenaline for his first visit.   The time wasn't exact since he didn't know when the game would finish. Around the time expected, he messaged me to let me know he was going to be on his way soon. I kicked back and watched some porn until his arrival.   Being his first visit, I met him in the driveway so he knew he had the correct house. I was wearing my long brown hooded bathrobe. His mind was probably already racing wondering what, if anything, that I was wearing under the housecoat.   We came inside and took a seat and instructed him to strip. As we had previously discussed as he stripped each article of clothing off he folded them neatly by his shoes next to the door.   He had a nice physique and I knew we were going to be having some fun. He was wearing a small cock cage. It appeared he was already straining against it. I remembered that I had instructed him to wear the cock cage during the game. I didn't verify if he has followed directions, or had put it on after the game. I walked over to the couch and grabbed two velcro wrist restraints. I grabbed one of his wrists and extended his arm and attached the velcros cuff. Then the other wrist, as I wrapped the velcro restraint making sure both cuffs were secured around his wrists. Then I retrieved a dog collar from the couch and put it around his neck. This at first, but then I loosened it a notch or two so it was fairly loose. I had plans, and wanted it a bit loose, almost comfortable. But I wanted him to remember, while he was here, he was property. A sub for my use.   Although I had warmed the house a bit, as I wrapped my arms around him from behind him and played with his nipples, I felt him quiver. I'm sure it was a combination of fear and anticipation causing him to quiver, not the temperature of the room.   Normally and make notes when someone leaves, but during today's visit I forgot. So my memory might not be 100% accurate on our activities since I'm writing this story over a week later.   Normally at this point, I sit back in my rocking chair and have they guy suck my cock for a while, but I remember that didn't happen today. And honestly, I don't remember why. Either something we had talked about, or something in my mind cause me to change things and we headed straight upstairs.   When we got up to the bedroom stripped the bathroom off. I was completely naked. I laid back on the bed and told him to come over between my legs and suck my cock. Without hesitation he climbed on the bed and latched on to my cock.   Although one part of me thinks that he is 99% straight, good Lord was he a great cocksucker. It makes me wonder if I'm correct or not. But during the conversations on Fetlife, that was the impression I had. But now that his mouth was on my cock, I was questioning my assumption.   I'm not sure what the hell he was doing with his tongue on my cock but it was incredible. Something about the combination of sucking and swirling and licking at the same time was great. In fact, it was too good. It had been a week or so since I had hooked up with someone and this felt so good, I felt that I could orgasm at any moment. So I told him to lick my balls.   Although I enjoy having a guy lick my balls, in this case the main reason I was having him lick my balls was to prevent me from having an orgasm. How sad would it be for him to arrive and not more than 5 or 10 minutes later have an orgasm and send him on his way.   So he licked at my balls for a while as I raised my right leg putting my knee in the air to give him greater access to my balls and taint. He was good at that also, but not as good as his cock sucking skills. Soon using both of my hands on the sides of his head, I lifted him off my balls and lowered him onto my cock again. The feeling was sensational. I just remembered that I kept murmuring, "oh fuck, oh fuck that feels great."   I grabbed his head and started pushing him deeper onto my cock. He gagged which made me chuckle. I think I growled something like, "oh yeah choke on Daddy's cock."   Part of the time I watched him bob up and down on my cock, part of the time I just threw my own head back enjoying the moment. I looked down and could see his cute bubble butt over his shoulders which only made my cock harder. I was planning to fuck that ass before he left tonight.   I wrapped my right leg over his shoulder onto his back. That just pulled him down onto my cock a bit more. With my hands on the back of his head and my right leg over his back I could force him onto my cock until his chin rubbed my balls. He was choking on my cock, completely under my control, completely submissive, doing exactly what I was telling him to do. I was giving him the fantasy that he was wanting.   I remember being quite verbal that day. Repeatedly calling him… daddy's little cocksucker, calling him… a good little fagot, but at the same time rewarding him by telling him what a good job he was doing sucking cock. Each time he choked I would give him a compliment like, "good Boyyyyyyyy" dragging the work out like I was rewarding a family dog. I watched as his head continued to bob up and down on my cock.   He would deep throat my cock until it was all the way in the back of his throat, then he would pull almost completely off and suck hard on just the head of my cock, swirling his tongue around, poking his tongue in my piss slit, then go back to deepthroating and choking again.   But now I had reached my threshold of my orgasm. If I can keep from orgasming past the first 5 or 10 minutes, I'm usually good for an hour. I'm not quite sure what that is, but once I passed that 10 minute mark I'm good for a while. And at this point, I was past my mark.   I started getting a little more rough with him. I reached down and grab the collar and gave it a bit of a twist, tightening it on his neck. Simultaneously I pulled the collar down, pulling him onto my cock. This did a bit of breath control, or breath restriction, while he continued to suck my cock.   I kept the color twisted until his body language was telling me he was at his limit on breath control. So I released the collar and I just laid back on the bed enjoying whatever in the fuck he was doing with his tongue. Oh my God, it was incredible.   I remember him repositioning himself, I think to get up on his elbows a bit. He slid his hands under my legs almost cupping my butt cheeks whereas before they had been on top of my legs, his forearms almost resting on my chest toward my nipples. Now that his upper arms were under my legs, I took the advantage and raised both of my legs onto his back. I crossed my legs locking them and behind his back squeezed his head between my legs.   With my hands, I forced him deep onto my cock. Then I tightened the squeeze of my legs holding him in place. No longer

So, i have been told that if i edit my profile it takes a while for it to come back up so i will add a few things here instead. 1. If you message me and ask for money, you will be blocked and reported.  2. If you message me with "hi" it will not get answered. You are supposed to be an adult, use your words. 3. If you are a married couple, poly or looking for a house maid or an animal...sorry, not interested, please move on. 4. If you do not live in the US, i am sorry, but i will not relocate to another country, i love the one i am in.  5. If you are a submissive and want anything other than friendship, i will not answer you. I am not bi and i am not looking to serve with a sister. I have 5 sisters, i dont want any more lol 6. I will not download multiple chat programs so if i dont have what you have i am sorry (I only have 2) I know, i know, i sound demanding for a sub. ;) Just trying to weed out the fakes and wannabes and those who only want a maid and cook. 

How hard is it to actually read a profile before messaging someone? I mean really, it's not that difficult to do, either that or people just don't care. Seeing the messages I get it seems both. You want fuckmeat, move on I'm not it. I'm also sure as hell am not sharing my picture with anyone until I feel comfortable with you. I will also say again that this is the fastest way for me to ignore your messages and/or block you:  1. Clearly not reading my profile, I'll know if you are not from or around the location I stated, being right out disrespectful and thinking I'll actually want your "guidance" or be your "toy" when you couldn't take the time to look at my interest list or my limits which are all up to date.  2. Sending me pictures without asking me, this includes any kind of picture. If I want to see what you look like I will ask. Same with sending me a phone number or any other type of social media ID, if I want it I'll ask. 3. If you can't open a conversation with more than "Hi, how are you?" or just "Hi." Then I'm not interested, I like substance and if you can send a good opening message then I'll be more likely to wanna talk to you don't bother with anything half assed it just won't work.  4. You're profile and/or interest list is blank. I could understand if your proifle is brand new but if you've been on this site for more than a month I think you've had plenty of time to write and add in your interests. That helps me guage what kind of person you are. 

Wake up The day has been long and tiring. you get the last seat on the bus. you are grateful for the opportunity to sit. your legs are tired from the day. At the next stop several people get on. One old man ends up standing in front of you. you glance at him, but, try to ignore the old codger. Vaguely you hope his grey beard does not shed on you. Somewhere deep inside you a disquiet disturbs your comfort. you raise up and offer the old guy your seat. Other people on the bus admire your generosity. The old guy sighs as he carefully lowers his creaky body into the space you have left him. A lady sitting across from you says, "that was a nice thing to do." It was, but, that is not why you sacrificed. No, and not because you were thinking of one of your elderly parents. No, this was not a 'nice thing to do.' This was in compliance with your inner need to serve and suffer. you have a slave heart.

I was asked about the history of M/s in the U.S. so I put together this paper for my class that I teach. As many of you know, I teach classes about our lifestyle. Consensual Master/slave (M/s) relationships form a distinctive branch of the larger BDSM world, built on explicit consent and mutual trust rather than coercion. Though the language echoes the United States’ painful legacy of slavery, within this context “slave” refers to a self-chosen role in which adults negotiate the terms of authority, service, and the freedom to leave at any time. Tracing the history of these relationships reveals a story of gradual emergence from secrecy to visibility and of a community that continually refines its ethical principles. Long before the term BDSM existed, underground currents of erotic power exchange ran through American life. In the nineteenth century, small “flagellation societies” and clandestine magazines catered to people fascinated by ritualized dominance and discipline. Early-twentieth-century fetish photography and private clubs in cities like New York and Chicago hinted at a subculture that could not yet show itself openly, constrained by strict obscenity laws and the threat of arrest. After World War II, a more public foundation appeared. Returning veterans formed motorcycle clubs and gay leather bars, creating what became known as leather culture. These spaces celebrated hierarchy, uniforms, and protocol—values familiar to men who had served in the military and who now sought camaraderie and structured erotic play. San Francisco’s South of Market district, Chicago’s Gold Coast bar, and New York’s Greenwich Village all nurtured this emerging aesthetic. While not every leather relationship was explicitly Master/slave, the emphasis on ritual service and clearly defined roles foreshadowed the dynamics to come. The social upheavals of the 1960s and 1970s brought the first real stirrings of public organization. In 1971 the Eulenspiegel Society, or TES, was founded in New York as an educational and social group for people interested in consensual BDSM. TES meetings offered a rare safe space to discuss negotiation, service, and authority exchange. At the same time the gay liberation movement and the post-Stonewall push for visibility encouraged practitioners to speak more openly, while feminist debates over sexuality and power sharpened the community’s thinking about agency and consent. It was during this era that the term “Master/slave” began to be used more deliberately to describe ongoing power-exchange relationships rather than isolated encounters. Through the 1980s and 1990s the community expanded and codified its ethics. The principles of “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” became a rallying cry, soon joined by the idea of “Risk-Aware Consensual Kink,” which acknowledged that all play carries some danger if undertaken without careful negotiation. National gatherings such as Living in Leather and organizations like the National Leather Association connected practitioners across genders and orientations. Amid the HIV/AIDS crisis, leather and M/s groups became hubs of health education and mutual support. Competitions such as International Mr. Leather made formal presentations of Master/slave relationships more visible, and writers like Guy Baldwin explored the psychology of dominance and submission in influential essays and books. The arrival of the internet around the turn of the millennium transformed everything again. Email lists, online forums, and later social networks such as FetLife allowed people in small towns or conservative regions to find community, share protocols, and even post detailed M/s contracts. Education went global as conferences could draw participants from every region. Meanwhile, mainstream attention—from documentaries to the runaway success of Fifty Shades of Grey—brought BDSM into living rooms and office break rooms, if often in sensational or inaccurate ways. Academic researchers began publishing peer-reviewed studies that showed consensual power exchange could be compatible with psychological health and relationship satisfaction. Today’s M/s community in the United States is strikingly diverse. Participants span every gender, orientation, and cultural background. Annual gatherings such as the Master/slave Conference in Washington, D.C., offer advanced classes on negotiation, long-term dynamics, and the philosophy of service and ownership. Many households create written agreements spelling out duties, limits, and the right to revoke consent, underscoring that autonomy remains central even within total-power dynamics. Yet the term “slave” still prompts careful reflection. Some prefer alternatives like “property” or “servant,” while others reclaim the word as a conscious statement of agency. This ongoing conversation shows how the community remains attentive to the country’s history of chattel slavery and the need for language that honors both freedom and responsibility.  From clandestine nineteenth-century societies to today’s internet-connected conferences, the evolution of consensual Master/slave relationships in the United States is a story of people turning hierarchy into intimacy. Over more than a century, practitioners have built a culture grounded in negotiation, education, and mutual respect. Far from re-enacting oppression, these relationships transform the language of mastery and service into a chosen path of trust, discipline, and personal liberation.

Oh I wish I had a slave driver here, A useful chatty person near, Drives me to key appointments with notice set, Keen to be useful to me I bet. When I choose club play nights off we fly, Whips on his derriere produce mutual joy sighs.   Though now pleasant chat from the states only shows, Useless in practical life we all know. And I am a practical person through and through, So where are you Slave driver you not around tinges me blue.   Instead I am busy with study and skill, Developing life knowledge so my mind advances up a holl, Knowledge is power so I consume mine, Growing as a person through time.