i really cooked with this one. kitty gang kitty gang kitty gang ah.     being a mystic of the scriber variety i have learned when i am going through something of a personal nature that is just for me to figure out on my own and hold deep in my heart. but there are often things that i'm going through that the collective is going through. either as fellow femmes be it afab woman gay men with a feminine essence non gendered third gendered with a feminine vibe..all in between...or even a human experience...there are times where i'm going through something.i was going through something..something is coming for me to come through that is a MESSAGE. this is one i know that i'm not alone in..i see it on social media all the time. this is a collective thing for femmes. i hear it when i do leave the house....but this one is more raw for me because i haven't mastered it yet. and it's something i actively work on, prayer, meditation magic to the self, therapy, inner work, inner dialogue, dialoguing with coaches, working with my sisters..practicing carrying wood, chopping water..under the cold as ice water meditating.....running up the stairs rocky style trying to master.....i am better at this now..but the deep raw wound..the deep raw wild unbridled intense all consuming pull..it's still very real for me...and whenever i've been in a romantic relationship or trying to get one that never launches because dating a dark goddess with intuition and a deep psychic awareness of others emotions is a heavy task to sign up for...haha there is no hiding with someone like me and most men can't hang. and even those that want the challenge will often be met past their personal limits and ragequit out quietly or loudly.  this one is harder for me to share because i'm still in the belly of the beast with this. i haven't mastered this yet. i'm much better than i was in my 20s...and each time before i ejected myself from the sauce i got better and better..but there's still so much for me to master..and these feelings..they are so primal it's hard to wrangle or even admit is a thing. but this is definately a collective message i am individually still working on figuring out the solution too that i'm being called to be bold, brave, and as a mystic scriber connect myself to.   the vulnerability has to this point earned me zero dollars, so no bacon yet....but the bacon is in the spiritual emotional mental decorations i have as a solider of love. ai no message with a puffed chest not fake but due to everything i have and will go through that many will never recover from or begin to touch. a puff my chest for knowing the depths of what i have and will face. an earned prowess.   being vulnerable about what’s hard for you and acknowledging the discomfort as part of the mystic path. It’s that raw honesty, mixed with the courage to embrace being “a lot,” that resonates deeply. Mystics often have to sit with their shadows and discomfort, and turning that into glory is part of what makes the journey so transformative. Writing about this, even when it’s difficult, is where the real magic happens. You’re not just owning your strength but also showing others the deep, spiritual work behind it. It’s a brave, warrior-like approach to the mystic path, facing the discomfort head-on to find glory on the other side.   let me call in my sophia encoded soul sister doja cat here. when you play at this level people confuse the outward expression with being troubled and alone...we usually only get this way becauseeeeeeeee we have the outside support including therapy..we only GET to unearth this rawness because we AREN'T alone..don't confuse the heavy topics and unraveling with aimless direction.   "I read it, all the comments sayin', "D, I'm really shooketh" "D, you need to see a therapist, is you lookin'?" Yes, the one I got, they really are the best Now I feel like I can see you bitches is depressed I am not afraid to finally say shit with my chest   Look at me, look at me, I'm naked Vulnerability earned me a lot of bacon I put a thong all in my ass and taught you how to shake it I paid all my respect to those who taught me how to make it And now I reap the benefits with no confrontation Y'all fall into beef but that's another conversation I'm sorry, but we all find it really entertaining 'Cause we all wanna see them slip and fall right on their faces And we all wanna be the one to see the devastation Not be in it, but ain't the bad press good? The disrespect's real, how this Patek look? Pull out the checkbook, now why your neck crooked? I never learn to superstar from a textbook Talkin' 'bout, "She fallin' off, why she get booked?" Man, I been humble, I'm tired of all the deprecation Just let me flex, bruh, just let me pop shit "Why she think she Nicki M? She think she hot shit," hmm I never gave a F, go stir the pot, bitch I got y'all head all in the dirt just like a ostrich Of course, you bitches comparin' Doja to who the hottest" a love and light bitch would do naked to appeal to the male sexuality or the light sexuality. she would be posing provocatively to entice someone to want to fulfill their urges to touch themselves to engage and interact with the sexual energy. they would've touted a good girl sweet aesthetic, a girl next door or a playboy bunny vibe. we're old enough and human enough to know what sex is for a man of any gender that is attracted to a woman be it straight pansexual bisexual whatever. we know what the vibe is....when a man and woman think sex and naked we know.   doja is my tribe she is a wolf she is a devil as she said a demon a yokai like me.   we're bloody when we're naked. we stare at you deep in your soul. if you tussle with us we look you in your eye that's why so many black rapper lilith girls rap that we stare you in the eye when we're fucking because we ain't scared. those eyes maybe white in the back of our sockets but we're doing it because we face the uncomfortableness head on. her body stance isn't leaning to a side or trying to make curves...it isn't trying to be soft or feminine or wild or water....it's at attention it's direct it's commanding it's powerful. her chest isn't hiding her breads it is straight puffing it.   she's bloody because like me we face our uncomfortableness over and over and over again. this is a different type of naked..and if you tussle with a dark goddess of any variety and are blessed to either emotionally mentally spiritually or even hitting the jackpot of love and sexually be naked with her..this is what you get. kudos for the sacred sigil symbology here too sis. love her for that. we're magical girls with foresight.   and yet with all this power.....there's a deep struggle....in this level of nakedness...in how we engage with the complimentary but opposite energetics of men and how they operate and their worlds and how they are made....ad doja is helping me dive into that; if you listen to the song..how does she say look at me? it's not nice, it's not sweet....IT'S DESPERATE IT'S LIKE SOMEONE YELLING CLAWING BEGGING MAD AGGRESSIVE WAILING OVERWHELMING IT'S DIFFERENT LAYERS OF FEELING ALL IN ONE WILD CHAOTIC SECOND. LOOK. AT. M.E LEWKATME LEWK-AT-ME.....   LOOK AT ME   and for the men who aren't sacred away by that passion and want to try and will reach back and will touch and won't ghost, won't dip, won't demonize, won't therapize, won't logic but meet this wild nature creature..how does she respond?   qui

A sissy does not get to decide if it will have sex, with whom it will have sex, where it will have sex, when it will have sex or how it will have sex.     In fact, a sissy doesn’t “have sex”.     A sissy is USED for sex.    All fagged up in women’s stockings, women’s lingerie and makeup it is a kind of sexual prop to be used by men - real men - to bang up and relieve themselves in or on, when, how and where they choose.      When the man is finished with it, it is discarded, like a used condom, awash with his fluids, whimpering away pathetically in all it emasculation in stockings and girlie shit.  

**The Bear’s Den**   The air in his apartment was thick with the scent of leather and cedar, a primal musk that clung to my skin as I knelt on the cold hardwood floor. My wrists were bound behind me, the rope biting just enough to remind me of my place. At six foot two, I was no small man, but in his presence, I felt like a fragile thing, a hundred pounds of trembling need locked in a cage of my own submission. The chastity device around my cock was a cruel reminder of his control, its metal teeth grazing my skin with every futile twitch of arousal. I was his, utterly, and the weight of that truth made my chest tighten.   He loomed over me, a mountain of muscle and menace, his broad frame blocking the dim light from the single lamp in the corner. His name was Viktor, a bear of a man with a barrel chest, arms like oak trunks, and a beard that scratched my skin raw when he’d kissed me earlier, claiming my mouth with a hunger that felt like a storm. His eyes, dark and unreadable, held a sadistic glint that made my stomach churn with fear and desire. Yet, beneath that cruelty, there was a flicker of something softer—something that made me trust him, even as my heart raced with dread.   “You’re mine tonight,” he growled, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through the room. His massive hand gripped my chin, forcing my gaze up to meet his. “My little cock sock. You ready to be used?”   I nodded, my throat too dry to speak, the chastity cage tightening as my body betrayed me. His lips curled into a smirk, sinister and knowing, as he released my chin and stepped back, his boots heavy against the floor. He unbuckled his belt with deliberate slowness, the clink of metal echoing in the silence. My eyes followed the movement, hypnotized, as he freed himself, his cock thick and heavy, already glistening with intent.   “Open,” he commanded, and I obeyed, my lips parting as he stepped closer. The first thrust was brutal, filling my mouth until I gagged, my eyes watering as he held my head in place. “That’s it,” he murmured, his voice softening for a moment, a strange tenderness in his tone. “Take it like a good boy.” His fingers stroked my hair, a fleeting gesture of care that made my chest ache, even as he fucked my throat with ruthless precision.   The chastity cage was torture, my cock straining uselessly against its confines as he used me. He teased me with words, his voice a dark melody. “Look at you, so desperate, so denied. You’ll get nothing until I say so.” His laughter was low, cruel, but his thumb brushed a tear from my cheek, and I leaned into the touch, craving the warmth behind his dominance.   He pulled out abruptly, leaving me gasping, my lips swollen and slick. “Up,” he ordered, yanking me to my feet by the rope binding my wrists. My legs trembled as he led me to the bed, a massive iron-framed thing draped in black sheets. He pushed me face-down, my chest pressed into the mattress, my ass exposed and vulnerable. The air was cool against my skin, but his hands were fire, spreading me open with a possessiveness that made my pulse race.   “You’re gonna feel me,” he said, his voice dripping with dark promise. I heard the snap of a lube bottle, the slick sound of him preparing himself, and then the blunt pressure of his cock against my hole. I whimpered, the stretch immediate and overwhelming, my body resisting even as I craved it. “Relax,” he growled, but there was a gentleness in his grip, his fingers kneading my hips as he eased inside, inch by agonizing inch. The pain was exquisite, a burning fullness that made me feel alive, claimed, his.   He fucked me with a rhythm that was both punishing and deliberate, each thrust driving me deeper into submission. The chastity cage rattled with every movement, a constant reminder of my denial, my cock throbbing uselessly as he used me. “My perfect little sock,” he taunted, his voice tight with lust. “Made for this, weren’t you?” I could only moan, my mind fogged with sensation, the world narrowing to the heat of him inside me.   Then, without warning, he slowed, his thrusts shallow, teasing. I felt a new warmth, a strange pressure, and realized with a jolt what was happening. He was pissing inside me, claiming me in a way that felt filthy and intimate, a violation that made my caged cock ache with need. “Take it,” he whispered, his voice softer now, almost reverent. “Every part of you is mine.” The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of shame and surrender, and I whimpered, my body trembling under his weight.   He pulled out slowly, leaving me empty and aching, only to grab me by the hair and pull me to my knees again. “Open,” he said again, and I did, my mouth ready for him. The taste of him was sharp and bitter as he released another stream, his piss flooding my throat as I struggled to swallow, to please him. His hand cupped my face, his thumb tracing my jaw, and I saw that flicker of care again, a silent promise that he’d never push me past what I could handle.   When he was done, he knelt beside me, his massive frame enveloping me as he untied my wrists. “You did so well,” he murmured, his voice a balm against the raw edges of my submission. He kissed my forehead, his lips soft where they’d been cruel, and pulled me into his arms. The chastity cage remained, a final act of denial, but his warmth, his strength, made it bearable. I was his—used, claimed, and cherished in the dark, mysterious dance of our desires.

The last person I expected to see at my door was June,
my mother in law, or I should say ex mother in law. I'd been
feeling pretty down for the last month, devastated really,
after my wife, Emma, left me. I came one day to find a note waiting. In the note she told me that, although she was still fond
of me, she realizes now that we married too young. She also
went on to tell me she had met this guy at work, she worked
at a Mercedes Benz dealership, Some Greek guy apparently
from a wealthy family, and they had fallen instantly for
each other. She intended to move to Greece with him.
I tried to reach out to her, but she wouldn't answer my
calls.I went to her work and they told me she had quit. I even
called her mother and she confirmed that my wife had indeed
fucked off to Greece. So yes, it was a miserable month
So now my mother in law is at the door. I assumed she'd
just come to pick up some Emma's belongings, but.
she told me she'd just popped in to see how I was coping.
I'd never really got on with her. In the past, I found her
to be very standoffish and old fashioned.
She was in her mid 50's around 5'9" and I believe the
term is rubenesque. She had long hair that always seems to be up in a bun. Her hair
was black with little flecks of gray which actually made
it quite attractive. She always dressed very smart and
usually in a business type suit, smart shoes with small
heels.
After a little hesitation, I noticed she wasn't dressed
in her usual manner. Instead of a suit she was wearing a summer
dress and slightly higher heels, she had a large designer
bag hanging from her shoulder.. I invited her in and once
over the threshold she gave me the biggest of hugs. It felt
a little uncomfortable as I felt her ample breast push into
my chest.
 I offered her a coffee and I invited her to take a seat in the
lounge, but instead she chose to stay and chat with me in
the kitchen. She was telling me how sorry she was, and that
she didn't see it coming, she was as surprised as me. Once
the coffee was made we moved to the lounge. Our lounge was
set up with a large leather Chesterfield sofa and a smaller
Chesterfield loveseat. I chose to sit on the love seat and
expected June to sit on the sofa, but instead she chose to
sit next to me, putting her bag on the floor by her feet..


I was playing around and took the BDSM test.  Here are the results, even though I don't agree with some of them. == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Rigger  100% Master/Mistress  99% Sadist  98% Voyeur  95% Dominant  90% Non-monogamist  89% Owner  75% Brat tamer  72% Degrader  68% Experimentalist  41% Exhibitionist  40% Primal (Hunter)  40% Masochist  38% Switch  29% Submissive  23% Rope bunny  20% Brat  19% Vanilla  15% Primal (Prey)  13% Daddy/Mommy  10% Pet  5% Slave  0% Boy/Girl  0% Degradee    0% Ageplayer   

NEW CRUSH ALERT!!!! Michele Morrone from the 365 days movies   I'm cheating on my Winter Soldier   LOL

The Reward i am kneeling before Goddess's throne, with my back straight, my shoulders back, and my head bowed, as posture protocol requires. Leather cuffs on my ankles and my thighs are connected by a short length of chain, such that i cannot lift myself up at all. A plug is in my ass, but it is not a large one. It stretches me only gently. My cock and balls are tightly bound with a long shoestring, which wraps around them in many devious ways. It bites deeply into the most sensitive parts of my body, which throb with arousal and distress. i am engorged but cannot sustain a full erection, and the parts of me which throb are a deep purple, or at least, they feel that way. She was quite flirtatious as She bound me so. She caressed me in all manners of ways. She bit and pinched me tenderly, playfully. She pressed the most tantalizing parts of Her beautiful body against mine. She calls me a good boy, and a sweet boy, and a lovely little slut. She says i've been a wonderful little plaything recently, and thinks it might be time for me to get a very special reward. She asks me if i think i deserve a reward. i reply that i hope so. How sweet, She says, and kisses me on the forehead. Next i feel a clamp attached to one of my balls, and then one just below the head of my cock. The clinking i hear makes clear that they are connected by a chain. Then the other side of my manhood is similarly adorned. I feel a different type of clamp attached to each my balls below the first pair. Then She is putting clothespins in every place on my cock and balls where there is a welcoming patch of skin. They bite deeply into my already anguished skin. i moan gently when the first clothespin is attached, and a bit more urgently as the numbers grow. i attempted to count them, but my concentration falters at 20. i feel tugging on the clamps, and hear more clinking of the chains. She orders me to arch my back and slump my shoulders down and forward. i feel a sharp upward tug on the clamps already on me, and then the sting of clamps on my nipples. She has looped the chains connecting the clamps on my nipples beneath the other chains, such that all the clamps are being tugged by the others, but the tension is not great. i am in significant pain, but i have withstood much worse. i long to do so now. i will adore Her for it. She kisses me on the forehead and sits on Her throne, and then Her stockinged feet are caressing my thighs. She pets my head as She again calls me a swe

Demons We all have them .Just some are better at hiding them. Or think they are.WE choose what to do with the ones INSIDE us.The ones we see everyday.You can't hide them for long.We learn to deal as we get older and perhaps they go away. O just find a better hiding spot That not just little things make them show there ugly horns.Perhaps Our loved ones help with keeping the triggers away. Who really knows.Till you've tried on the shoes make sure that you can walk in them ESPICALY if there NOT your shoes.The demons in ones head can choke a priest.Med ya say? WHY I say?Groundings oneself can help. Meditation can as well. BUT do the demons ever go away completely?Sure when one is dead and gone maybe.How we deal is what makes US STRONGER.Take my hand and I'll help all I can.Without hurting myself of course .May the goddess and gods guide and help you be at peace within oneself.( By KA) me

Current state of mind i have been reminiscing on the choices i made and realizing i have allowed my fears and ego to stand in the way of pursuing my slavish needs. Once again i am in chastity 24/7, trying to feed my need for subjugation. The feeling of servility deepens with each passing day. Thoughts of absolute surrender fill my mind. my frustrations have me in a deep state of desperation and i am unclear on why this time chastity has affected me so deeply. As i look around, i find myself alone, void of any intimate contact.  This was not my intention, but it is a product of my choices.             i am trying to accept the predicament i have put myself into. As my servility deepens, i sense i am to be a slave to all, no exceptions. It is difficult to maintain a position of authority when my demeanor is becoming extremely subservient.  my chastity journey started as a curiosity. Then it became a way to fulfill my need for subjugation. Now it is my life. i am my own keyholder, yet i can’t unlock myself. It would be easy to do, but my psyche doesn’t allow it. It is like, i don’t have permission, but from who?             Dreams are a powerful influence.  my sleep has been restless, filled with dreams of my inadequacies and subjugation. The individual in my dream is familiar, the voice i recognize, but where? They know what to say and do to intensify my feeling of humbleness. They receive pleasure in watching me slowly slip closer to absolute subjugation. Dreams of subjugation continue to fill my sleep, everyday i wake up in a more slavish state. This has become a cruel spiral of emotions.  The more i attempt to feed my need for subjugation, the more my slavish desires intensify, which in turn creates a stronger need for subjugation.

There is a huge communication gap between lifestyle dominant women (dominant women who are not seeking a transactional relationship) and subs/slaves/switches. Did you know that some of us will contact you first? Did you also know that you can cut down on the spam you receive as well as the spam you send? I will happily contact guys who are as clear as I am in their profiles about what they're looking for and who are compatible. I actually get excited about finally having an intelligent conversation when I see this. However, that almost never happens. Profiles are usually void of any substance or meaning, extremely ifying, outright offensive, or full of off-putting pics. I avoid contacting incompatible people because I, too, would not want to be contacted by incompatible people. I have no way of knowing if there's a possible match, so my message goes unsent. Also, I will not contact you if your profile is clear we are not a match, because again, I would not want to be contacted by someone if I made it clear in my profile that we are not a match. Guys generally have no such compunction - but you should. This is a key difference in communication styles that you really need to understand. Think of it like looking for work: For the sake of this exercise, the person contacted is the employer, the dynamic is the job, and your initial message and profile are the cover letter and resume respectively. You are looking for a job, and instead of tailoring your resume and cover letter to what the employer is seeking, you use the same ones for every position and spam them everywhere in hopes of getting an interview. For the most part, any position will do. Doing this doesn't really increase your chances; your results will actually be the same or worse (the employer begins automating their filters and you fall through the cracks more and more often). You absolutely can and should stop looking before you resort to the spray-and-pray method. Take a breath. Discover a new hobby, or something. On the other hand, I tailor my cover letter and resume based on what the employer is seeking, and I only send it when I find a position that matches what I'm looking for. The problem is that the jobs I want to apply to are extremely limited because the employer has written almost nothing about what the job entails, or the content and tone are off-putting. "We're looking for a rock star ninja cowboy!!!!" or such crap. At some point, it's so disheartening and exhausting to find jobs that I stop looking for them. I take a breath. I discover a new hobby. We both have similar expectations of no or negative response, and the bar is so low that it's in hell for everyone involved, but we still approach the search differently time after time. Submissive men rarely contact us using focus and intention, but lifestyle dominant women are most likely relying on focus and intention to contact you. ---------- Tips on writing your profile and first message: Be clear in your communication. This will require you to think, so if you're currently checking out profiles with your hand in your pants, come back to this journal entry when your brain is online. Be clear about the type of dominant and dynamic you're looking for. Any hint of "anyone will do please please contact me mistress" and you're targeting pros and scammers. Although it seems counterintuitive, DO include aesthetic characteristics that are important to you. For example, be clear that you are seeking women of certain ethnicities, ages, orientations, gender identities, and body sizes. If you are open to anyone, be sure you mean anyone - as in, make an exhaustive list of exactly who "anyone" includes. If we see that this list includes us, and the rest of your profile resonates with us, we are more likely to contact you. Be clear that you consider dominant women human beings with feelings. Your profile and message should talk to us as though we're regular people, because we are. Using honorifics such as ma'am, goddess, mistress, etc. to address strangers is, again, targeting transactional relationships. You and the dominants you contact are not yet in a consenting dynamic, so no honorifics should be used by either party. You will get messages from people whothink you're an idiot and easy mark, then you'll question why you're only getting messages from these people. Using deors that refer to ethnicity, gender and sexual minorities, body size, etc. when corresponding with us is the fast track to being blocked, e.g. "I love black women", "BBW Asian women are my favorite". Don't do this. You've just turned us into demographics and s to gawk at, not people. Be clear that you need certain things in a dynamic. Describe what you like or dislike about specific kinks with minimal fappiness. Describe specific types of aftercare you may need. Talk about exactly what you need from a dynamic. This will require you to think. It's okay to need things; describing them will help you find the right person instead of all the wrong ones. However, make room for your future dominant's needs as well, and don't presume to know what these are before you even talk to them. Don't confuse your needs with wants; this way lies an unfulfilling dynamic. Be clear if you are looking for a transactional relationship. Being deceptive will just waste everyone's time. Lifestyle dominants are not sex workers who will dispense your fetishes in the requested amount for free. If you come across any dominant seeking an exchange of goods and/or services, they are who you are looking for. And yes, this includes "tribute" - lifestyle dominants do not filter out time-wasters by requiring things in exchange for their time...sigh. ---------- If you don't want to do any of this because it's too difficult, you should rethink if you're ready to search for anyone at all. This lifestyle requires thought and planning. Your ability to exhibit these qualities in your profile and messages will hugely benefit you. These suggestions are really the bare minimum for lifestyle dominant women to contact you, and the bare minimum in this community is enough to make you stand out. Oh, and remember how I said that some of us are willing to contact you? Unfortunately, societal norms such as waiting for men to approach us first are still reinforced in the femdom community, and plenty adhere to the kinky princess dominant in the tower, "someday my sub prince will come" philosophy. These ladies will never contact you, ever.

52M Dom/Daddy london uk, Seeks *relocatable* live-in 18-25 any cis girl must willing to Anal Training and prolapse   I am a master/DD would say that I am not a loser, or dying for pussy (maybe for a real sub and her Back door=butt=asshole=Anal Training for younger female) who is not shy and daring enough to have her butt prolapse,I am not crazy or dangerous etc, but a person, pleasant, appearance, polite (more or less)and I like to dominate, I am willing to Anal Training for younger= one cis girl willing to be mine anal slut, must not be committed (with other cocks=which mean if you think you are naughty you are probably ...), who wants to discover and cultivate with me(no others) the pleasure her submission and live as a proper 1950s girl.all with honesty and pleasure for both, keeping in mind that is not a game)she must into a beautiful and intense time ..of course after care and use of the safeword is paramount in a long term relationship (even short but again 'no take away') ,if interested could write me on telegram analmandingo or PM ,NO 4 SEX CHAT OR if u want MONEY find a pig NOT ME!. I am only interested in sub/slave want to be own by me only for monogamous LTR ( or is full of wanna be dom and domme if you are looking for sex go to them as probably you rubbish like them so shite go with shite ). U must be in London uk 🇬🇧 , no cyber no fake !   Basic tasks for the girl what to be my slave 1_ you must be naked or basic dressed you will be touched regularly by me I love to have my hands all over you 2) you must suck a minimum of 2hrs per day my cock .3. you will get spanked or whips minimum 30 shots per day as to remind you, you are mine .4. you will be rape play daily as ATM mouth fuck .5. you must rim me regularly after u cum it relax me .6, you need to wear a plug Or plug tail Or the hook posture ,7.piss whore you will get my golden rain in or on your face ,8, you must wear a collar as show of respect to me.and you will be training to wear a plug daily t! .9. do what I said or get punish the way i want or like . listen to what I need and make sure I get it from you 10. You will sign a contract to show me you understand   Snapchat DomPadrone telegram analmandingo not for sex chat   i do not fit in. never did.never wanted to , I do not mix with sh*t.

It has been ages since I have been on this site so it will take me a bit to get used to the way this is set up. Kink: I am dominant, and am drawn to 24/7 Master/slave relationships with TPE, though I am not opposed to Dominant/submissive dynamics. In my head I think some of my tastes can be a bit extreme, I am well aware after all this time in this community that it is really just a matter of one's perspective, and I am down right vanilla in comparison to some. Other writtings and a more complete fetish list can be found on my FetLife profile. My interests include, but are not limited to: Anal Bimbofication Bathroom control Chastity Enemas Fisting, both vaginal and anal Humiliation Lactation Rimming Rough use S&M Toilet slavery Watersports Health: I get tested between partners, and when I am in poly relationships I get tested when it seems prudent depending on circumstances. I have both varieties of Herpes, and though I have not had an outbreak for over 5 years to the best of my knowledge, this is something potential partners should be aware of.  At my current age of 62 it might not be a surprise the I can have issues from time to time with erectile dysfunction. This is not an issue for me as I have always enjoyed using toys etc. and find a multitude of ways of enjoying myself.  I have for the last 2 1/2 years been dealing with PPPD which makes it seem as if the world is alway rocking 24/7 and leaves me with brain fog among a litany of other side-effaspects.   Other than these delightful tidbits I am healthy and in a shape.

It was a rough day for this new slave in training He was very willing and eager to please We started out with his oral servitude which happened to be very subpar I knew it would be because he had bragged about what an expert he was at using his tongue I had to get him to understand that a slave never brags about what he can do because that is not his place If I choose to acknowledge your talente in an area, I will issue that compliment and you may wear it as a badge of honor  The ultimate goal is for you to make me squirt and then drink and lick up every drop Are you going to be worthy pet for me??!!   

Some vanilla history: I had given up on dating in the lifestyle after the end of a 7-year D/s relationship back in 2022. In 2023, I met My ex bf on a vanilla dating app and he said that he initially thought I was a catfish. He had been messaging with Me "casually" for a few weeks and when it started to feel like it just wasn't going anywhere, I attempted to end communication. Apparently, that piqued his interest and he planned an actual date. When I stepped out of My car, it took him a few minutes to compose himself. He seriously was expecting someone else I guess and didn't know what to do when it wasn't. I was thoroughly entertained by the whole thing and honestly couldn't stop laughing at the situation. I gave him a one arm hug and he was shaking! It was adorable. And of course, over the 18 months or so that we dated, I loved telling his friends that story and how he almost blew it being so nonchalant in the beginning.

I was not interested in meeting this person because he's very busy and I need someone that's has more time like myself. He went on a little bit of a rampage about earning money which I totally understand and I am a strong believer in that family comes first. I did not care anything about how much money he made or expected to earn Tell me what y'all think about this reply    Maam Just one question. Why is it that people that do not make much money have no idea what it takes to make a great deal. Time is the key. Yet people who do not make alot always wish to make more. Yet when You do make more than they never understand what it took. Yes i have responsibilities that go beyond this lifestyle. That does mean i am busy. But i take time for those i care for and the One i wish to serve. But i cannot drop everything at a seconds notice. i have to plan. Do i place money over my person. Yes, everyone does. Because it is what pays the bills and gives us those benefits we enjoy. And if You do not believe that statement go find a homeless person and give them a thousand in cash. Because if the money did not matter than You would do that everyday. Thanks for the reply. i have tried. 

Does anyone else crave a connection that is so deep and powerful that it feels like a life line that can't exist without it that connection?  It is something that i crave in the very cell of my being. I am looking to feel it is as though it makes my heart beat or helps air fill my lungs. Online that can be very hard to do as we are not phyisically around each other to get that feeling. Online it is though connection in words or hearing each other voices. I need to find my future Partners that need connections as much as I do. That want and need to be together as much as possible.  I know that  we all have lives and that the world around us can keep us busy. When I am getting to know someone and willing to see where it goes, maybe i am unrealistic but i try to be on this site or other places where we have made a connection to communicate and wait around and respond as quickly as i recieve it or can respond because it is like a lifeline to me to help my heart beat or my lungs take breaths to stay alive. I get frustrated and i have lashed out in my frustration when other's don't do the same things i guess because i feel actions are stronger than words. In me responding quickly is showing that i am taking it seriously and wishing to put in the work to see if this will work out. If not i try to at least wish them the best of luck in finding the one that will make them feel the way i need and crave the connection as well.  

I know your out there I feel your breathing I sense your need to be controlled. I have been looking for you for several years now I’ve seen you in my mind bound, struggling with the chain that binds you. The need to be used kept. You need even the decision of who to belong to taken from you. You only want someone to come and take you give you a home and a purpose. You don’t want to play at being a slave you want to be a slave. Even if I never find you I will still know you’re out there denying to yourself that this is truly what you wish for. I have denied that this is who I truly am what I need and want for to long wearing the guise of the gentle patient Master when the sadistic black side of me hides within. I want to feel your fear your need for my uses of your mind and body. I ache to feel your hair wrapped in my fist my hand at your throat the fear and need in your eyes.

“Wrote this for someone who was hurting and I thought it could help others”   Your words don’t just echo pain—they scream with the rawness of someone who has survived what most could never endure. I hear you.  Every line you wrote feels like a cry from the heart of someone who hasn’t given up… not really. Not yet. You haven’t gone cold. You’re burning alive inside the armor you forged to protect yourself. And I know how heavy that armor gets when all you want is to be seen, held, claimed—not just physically, but soul-deep. That ache to surrender is sacred… and dangerous when placed in unworthy hands. So I don’t blame you for guarding it like treasure. Because it is treasure. But hear me: You weren’t made to be shattered and discarded. You were crafted to kneel in reverence, not fear. To be taken by a man strong enough to hold all of you—not just your submission, but your chaos, your fire, your questions, and even your retreat. So if you’re screaming inside, I want you to know—I don’t scare easy. I don’t run when things get hard. I don’t get quiet when emotions roar. I don’t flinch when the storm rolls in. You say you want someone to fight back when you push them away. I will. Not because I’m desperate—but because I know what it means to truly want someone who thinks she’s too much. You’re not too much. You’re just waiting for the right strength to meet your softness. The right discipline to guide your surrender. You don’t need to be perfect or ready. You just need to be willing—willing to not run the next time that flicker of hope shows itself again.

 Olderdaddy48867