Hotel from a sluts POV   We check into the hotel and as we are standing at the desk you brush your arm 'accidentally' across my nipples which are swollen and tied sticking out under my top being constantly rubbed and I'm trying to hide them as I know they are really visible. The reception definitely can't see my swollen tied clit or the sink plugs in my arse and cunt that are stretching my holes right in front of her but she can see in my face that I am slightly flushed and breathing a bit heavily. I wish she would type faster!  Finally we have our key. You tell me to walk ahead of you to the lift, I know this is so you can watch me on my heels in my tight skirt trying not to walk like a Slut full of cock.  We are in the lift alone and you take advantage of the time to rub over your handy work on my tits and cunt making me shake and cry out. And Cum inside myself. Unable to release it because of the plug. You smile at me and laugh at how ruined i am tonight. Already begging for you to fuck me.  In the room i stand in front of you with my hands on my head and my legs apart and wait for my master to tell me what to do next. You stroke over my body and sharply pull my nipples, bringing me round from my drift and then sit me down firmly on a chair in the corner and opening up a bottle of champagne that is on the desk. I am wriggling in the chair, trying not to moan out loud with the anticipation and my holes open.  You pour us a glass and turn around and sit on the sofa opposite and tell me to crawl over to you. I slowly crawl across the room my nipples rubbing on my shirt my clit rubbing when I move my legs because it is so swollen. I get to you and you tell me to kneel...  You lift me into your lap by my nipples making me get tears in my eyes and roughly hold me by the neck sideways on your knee...  With your free hand you pass my drink and tell me to drink it I am thirsty from breathing hard and knock it back. You put the glass down and spread my legs and tap on the plugs in my holes staring into me while I beg you to open me up and touch me inside....  You pull the sink plug out of my cunt tube leaving it held open and poke up inside me so I can feel the tip of your fingers deep in me but nothing where the tube sits making me really aware that I am gaped....  I can hear myself begging... Please Master, fill me up with your fist and cock I need it so much. .... then I feel a bit of a lurch and sway into you, I can still hear myself begging and moaning but everything is getting a bit weird and I realise, as I pass out that you are telling me that when I wake up I will get what a Slut deserves......  I don't know how long I am asleep.  I come to hog tied.  It is dark so I am blindfolded  I can't hear anything except my own heart and inner voice.  My mouth is now plugged like the other holes.  I wonder how this going to go!

Ooooo...I was *just* about to take off to Alli's Birthday Party when I realized that I Locked My Fucking Vehicle & House Keys Inside The House.😖😖😖😖😖😠😠😠😠😠😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬   Yeah, this time I actually *did* get Fucking Irritated.I get Annoyed/Fucking Annoyed every fucking day (to VaryingDegrees), unfortunately, but I get Irritated maybe 2-3 times yearly.This was one of them.       (I used to have a BAD Fucking Temper years ago...Embarrassing...& No Patience either. Damn Embarrassing. 😑😑😑😑😑)   I'm actually not used To Being Rushed. I'm A Loner, so I'm used To Taking My Time, but this time I gave in To Family's Wishes & when that happens then Dad Starts Rushing & Pressuring (that's why years ago I Finally Quit Going To Restaurants With Him, or even At All), & when someone starts Rushing me then I start Getting Annoyed...then maybe Irritated, so then I might then Make Mistakes.I Prefer My Own Pace.When I realized what I did, "my balloon popped" & I knew that I was NOT Going Anywhere Now. Suddenly I Had Work To Do: Breaking Into The House (freshly-showered, cleanshaven, well-dressed, smelling good, blah-blah)...Time-Consuming Annoying Hassle but a Must, certainly before I get in A Worse Mood too, sooo...yeah, I had to determine Which Window To Remove The Screen From & whoaaaaa...first Kill That Goddamned Big W Nest that was in the way that I suddenly noticed.          🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

  Momentarily distracted by his need to spill his bladder, he was now aware of leather cuffs being affixed to each wrist. The metal cuffs had started to chafe. A leather belt was locked to his waist and each wrist in turn was released from the metal restraint and re fastened to the waist belt on each side. More comfortable. He was pushed down to the floor and over on his back. The sensation of cold hard tile and his need for relief was flooding his brain. Deprived of sight and speech his awareness shrank. Leather ankle cuffs were locked on and fastened together as a hobble.   The socks were pulled off and with them, the last vestige of his former self.   Her gloved hands embraced the sides of his hood. Suddenly he could see again. Stunning. She was squatting over his face. Eye piece in hand. Again, her smell. The leather smell. The antiseptic smell of the floor. Sternly she commanded him to be obedient and explained that she would remove the gag on the condition he only speak when spoken to.   Nodding, the mouthpiece came off.   His urgent need was all he could think about. He squirmed in his restraints.   The return of his sight and the Glorious image above him aroused his cock to a shaft of steel. Involuntarily he thrust it up arching his back. Buttocks lifted off the floor.   She regained her standing position posture as erect as his now throbbing cock. She laughed. A low grunting sob gurgled from his lips. She smirked and curled her lips into a snarl. For the first time he took in his surroundings. It was a utility room connecting the garage with the rest of the house.     A shower of sorts with a head on a umbilical hose in one corner for cleaning things. There was a drain in the floor and he realized he was laying on it.  

I don't like them innocent I don't want no face fresh Want them wearing leather Begging, let me be your taste test I like the sad eyes, bad guys Mouth full of white lies Kiss me in the corridor But quick to tell me goodbye You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul you used to be? You're a Rolling Stone boy Never sleep alone boy Got a million numbers And they're filling up your phone, boy I'm off the deep end, sleeping All night through the weekend Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be I'm searching for something that I can't reach My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be Ghost by Halsey (it's a song)

Details of the suckler: This was a girl I met at a bar on the 4th of July. This relationship was about a year and a half long. She was a cute, petite brunette who only weighed 100 lbs. As we started dating, I came to realize how submissive she was by nature and very eager to please me. Our unofficial "dom/sub" relationship included her cooking, doing laundry, preparing my lunch, and other domestic duties. Early on she told me how she really liked sucking my dick, even that she considered herself a "suckler". She didn't have to tell me twice. Blowjobs became more and more frequent. Eating dinner, watching TV, reading, and she might move over to take my cock in her mouth, sucking to her heart's content. When I'd come home, her mouth would be there to greet me. In the car, I'm driving and without a word, she'd unzip my pants and pull my cock out. She’d smile, unbuckle, and use her wet mouth on me. We also explored some light bdsm stuff, blindfolds or me holding her down. She did was she was told and she liked it. I never asked how she wanted to be fucked. Whether I came in her pussy, gave her a facial, in her mouth to swallow, or on her tits, she graciously accepted it.  She was an agreeable slut. This relationship ended when I took a new job, and its the one I regret that didn't work out.

Last week, someone shared MeatLoaf's video for "I would do anything for love" in one of the FB goth groups. I hadn't seen it in years. Like... a decade or more.  It had the same immediate effect it had the first time. ( I recognize I have some monster fetish issues. Don't judge. LOTS of people felt the same way about it. Nyyaahhh.)  The imagery was specifically tailored to pull in notes from Beauty and the Beast, as well as Bram Stoker's Dracula, among other things. Stories of a soulful, tortured man, cursed to be ugly and alone, desperately longing for the beautiful woman he feels would never want him in return. Body language of self-loathing, body and facial expressions of agony and adoration, pain and passion. Always hiding just out of her sight, sometimes almost within reach before rushing away to escape his suffering...smashing mirrors and covering his face...  Meanwhile, she wanders around in the luxury of his castle, surrounded by silks and candlelight, soaking herself in a huge bathtub, stretching out on a curtained bed of satin sheets...  Classical romance. Heady stuff. And the same silly part inside me that got sucked in by similar images in the old fairytale stories when I was VERY young responded. Re-watching it a few times. Re-writing it and building a lovely fantasy where it's me he sees in the garden, me wandering through the castle halls... me looking around at the obvious roaring fire that someone lit, and the wine that someone had opened, the bath someone had run, ... and then who I am gets in the way.  I can't quite get my head around walking into a house where someone obviously lived, and had just been in that room, and just making myself at home. Because I READ the fairy tales. The OLD versions. WHO lit the fire? Who's bed is this? Am I Goldilocks here, using up someone else's hot water, eating their dinner, etc? Because I know what happened to her after they find her, whereas the modern versions end on a much more PG note. Or am I in a beautiful pitcher plant, seduced by the opulence in preparation for digesting? Because that's what it would be in a fairy tale if you wander in uninvited and start helping yourself to whatever without express consent.  Even his beautiful, plaintive lyrics, sung with such sincerity and emotion start to give me pause one I start looking at them closer. (You know about me n lyrics...)  "I would do anything for love..." OK, but are you saying you would do anything to HAVE love in your life? Orthat you would do anything for the person you love? Or anything in the name of love that your loved one asked? Or just ... what? I need more clarification, please. I don't want to be going along thinking one thing, and then find out I misunderstood.  And then we get into "anything." I mean, he does state "I will never lie to you" which is very much appreciated, and ideally, the whole song does seem to aim in the direction of "I want to make you happy" but... at the same time, I've lived a long time in the real world, and "anything" can be pretty terrifying if you have experience and imagination.   Would he kill a rival? Would he keep her prisoner in this beautiful settling until she gave in? Would he MAKE her love him with magic? He obviously has a lot of power at his disposal to do those kinds of things. I have a lot of experience, and a huge imagination.  And would "anything" extend to controlling that mirror-destroying temper if she disagreed with him or rejected him? Because he spends some of the video kinda snarling in his frustration, clenching his fists, etc.  Would it include exposing his deepest fears and risking himself emotionally to connect with her? Because spends most of the video avoiding that.  He sings that "no one can save me now but you." Will he love her even if turns out she can't? Does "anything" cover acceptance of failings and limitations?  As you can guess, my fantasy breaks down into logic puzzles and communication complications and 'what would I do if I didn't have this outside perspective to know how all this opulence was being provided?'  Which turns it into an entirely different kind of fantasy, I guess, because I've heard "I'd do anything" more times than I could count, and it always falls apart the first time "anything" includes something they hadn't already planned to do.  I guess I'm not really meant for fairy tales anymore. On the upside, it makes me more grateful for my sweetie, because while he isn't a monster/wizard/whatever with unlimited power, and he can't provide "anything" I may want, he tries not to make promises he can't keep, and he tries to provide what he can that is within his power. He also appreciates what I do in return, so... Maybe that is the modern fairy tale - good communication, honest effort, and sincere caring.  I do wish it came with the magical 'self cleaning house' thing, but I will have to live without.

"50 Shades Of Wanabees" **Will finish writing this and add the conclusion sometime in the near future. Unfortunately, work and life get in the way of passion at times not affording us the opportunity to delve into it full time. That and writing this on a cell phone is a daunting task. Read enjoy, educate, comment. It's all good. I've been involved in this lifestyle for going on 40yrs. It is a very special kind of relationship and bond that takes lots of commitment, EFFECTIVE communication, understanding and most of all....TRUST. This type of life is not for everyone especially those "vanilla relationshippers" who don't understand it or know anything about it other than the stereotype information they heard or read. It is a multi-layer, multi-dimensional universe of its own that is compromised of many of its own ecosystems. It's as vast as the many kinks and fetishes that people can imagine and transform into being on the physical plane. Although we try to categorize the many desires so we can label them and sort them in order to find fellow kinksters. It is a task less job of who done it. No different than labeling colors. To the right we have orange. To the left we have red. But what happens when we have a color that falls in between? It doesn't necessarily look orange or red on of its own. Do we call "rednge" and make it its own category so it sits their all alone? Obviously not! But yet another hybrid is born expanding our array of colors once again. Adding to the illustrious rainbow of a way of life for many. It is no different than Mother nature's evolution of our planet and its inhabitants. Constantly in motion. Growing, changing, EVOLVING. How wonderful. HOWEVER, something almost always comes along to try and hamper the growth. It resonates through the community touching and infecting all that live in it. It betrays us all and infaspects the very things that make it so unique. Trust quickly dissipates as the intrusion spreads like wildfire burning all that fall within its path. Leaving behind scorched emotions, lack of trust or belief. Like that fiery fire is what I call, "50 Shades Of Wannabees". It's compromised of those who watched or read this crossover book or movie of a kinkier version of "Pretty Woman". A rich man who takes over a lower class woman's mind and bends her into his submissive. Suddenly like the herd of Buffalo, that once roamed this nation, a stampede of kinksters charge into our community. There is no understanding that there is SO much more than physical ownership of a sub or slave. It is a psychological game of Stratego that has been played by the partners gaining command of the others headspace. That headspace contains all the emotions, physical desires, dreams, fantasies, psychological manifestations of childhood yearnings, etc. All rolled up into one area waiting to be examined and absorbed by someone who can understand them and nurture them to fruition. A Bach of the composer world who takes them and turns them into beautiful music that all can hear. The manifestation of the hidden minds collective emotional desires and needs now controlling the physical form like the captive they once were. With this weapon in hand the dominant hunter has captured his prey. He cages and controls it by holding its heart tightly against his chest in his protective arms so no harm will come to it. The chase was long. The chase took many paths that one had to avoid straying from and getting lost. So when finally navigating it and finding that pot of gold at the end it is treasured as the greatest possession owned. It's capture was earned and not stolen. I can't help but look at these wannabees as nothing more than and invasive army made up of decisions or narcissistic grandure. Their need to feel powerful and fulfill their cardinal desires of physical pleasure and loneliness taken by force. No understanding of how the lifestyle works because they have no desire to learn it. Whips spinning in the air, shouts of demands and orders barking, physically overpowering of their prey is all they understand. I am a MASTER they proclaim to all as they dangle bait in hopes of luring a potential pacifistic creature. No you are NOT A MASTER, the knowledgeable citizens say. YOU ARE JUST A BULLY! A bully fueled by your narcissistic desires of ownership over another that you expect to force to serve you for your pleasure and your pleasure alone. You and your wants are all that matters and the emotions of the server are forced into exile.

Its been a loing time, but the writing bug bit again since Christmas. I have a novella pretty close to completetion. Looking for volenteers to help edit it. Here is the synopsis an AI created for it: In a shattered world ruled by ruthless megacorporations, eighteen-year-old Sophia clings to the last independent farm outside the megacity. Each night she dreams of the same man — tall, blue-eyed, commanding — who pins her against walls and claims her body with effortless authority.  When the farm faces ruin, her desperate parents send her to the black skyscraper that purchases beautiful, impoverished girls. Few ever return.  Under a merciless spotlight, Sophia meets the man from her dreams. He sees in her a rare, natural submissive ready to be broken and remade.  Stripped, examined, collared, and renamed Initiate 37XY8C, Sophia begins her transformation from frightened farm girl to obedient pleasure slave in a hidden world of absolute power and perfect surrender. A dark, intensely erotic dystopian tale of total submission.    

July 14, 2024 - Coach get raped again       Coach came over for another visit. It was a Sunday evening after I had worked and I was exhausted. But I always have time for some hot sex.   He arrived right on time and since he has visited numerous times before, I didn't bother to meet him in the driveway. I just opened the garage door which was his signal to come in.   During one of his first visits, I had a milk carton crate out in the garage with a sign on it that said, "useless pieces of human flesh need to strip and put all their clothing in the crate before entering" (or something like that)   Even though the sign is no longer there, he's into the habit of stripping naked in the back of the garage before coming through the door into the family room. I don't even bother to close the garage door since he is getting naked in the far back corner of the garage. When he entered the family room I was sitting in my chair and I stood up and we headed straight upstairs for some fun.   I laid down on my bed on my back and started playing with my cock. He didn't need an invitation, he knew I wanted my cock sucked. He slid onto the bed from the bottom positioning himself between my legs and latched on to my cock. I laid back enjoying the feeling of his warm mouth on my cock. Honestly, I just dropped off into daydreaming while enjoying the wonderful feeling of my cock going between his lips.   Occasionally I would reach down and guide his head to control the speed or depth of my cock down his throat. Sometimes I would throw my leg up over his back to pull him down onto my cock. Sometimes both legs up over his back locking his head into place as a bucked my hips forcing my cock into his throat until he would choke.   After quite a while I started wondering if his mouth, jaws, or throat were getting sore... But then I realized, I really didn't care. I was enjoying myself too much. read the conclusion at http://www.SirKel.top  

Things have changed yet AGAIN! My father has declined to the point , that he is afraid to move  in with me.  I structured my whole life around this. Closed my business, left my condo, friends, clients, swing dance community, and support network, plus my Sir.   I didn't pick this place for job opportunities,  I was going to care for my father until the end.  He backed out of coming twice and then let it slip that they, my niece, her failing husband and my father were moving 15 hours away!  I may never see him again!   My world has turned upside down.   Now I'm scrambling to get reciprocity for my license, sending out reaumes, and praying to secure employment. Starting over yet again. The one good thing out of this, is the bathroom in the cottage, is completely renovated.  It is stunning , just gorgeous! Porcelain tiled shower , elegant grab bars, not clinical looking at all, all metal shower fixtures, top quality, new toilet, new sink, beautiful oval mirror and lights.  When renovating, when the wall was stripped down, we even found a window!  I prepped the bedroom, learned to skim coat, scraped  sanded, and primed it. I found gorgeous furniture for the parlor, a large couch, chair and a half and a darling tiny gingham print wing chair. A gas operated cast iron stove  stove is in place and hooked up. Now I need to finish the kitchen.  I stripped the wall paper boarders, several of them. Then came across a metal seam! Uuuugh!  Put one layer of skim coating and need to sand that down. Another one or two more coats , then I sand and paint.   At this point I haven't decided whether I'll do my esthetic business or a small daycare out of the cottage.  Either way, I need a part time job before I decide, and complete it. I landscaped the front of it, and it looks darling.   The covered screenedin front porch has two Amish gliders. I saw my dad in those, rocking outside , safe and comfortable. Siiiiigh. Anyhoo, I need to push forward, live in the now for a bit.   My Sir has been out , and his next time is on my birthday. Hopefully all will go smoothly this time. Last time work took two of our days together 💩💩. Miss him being around the corner. I can't believe it's been over two years!    

Wow. Looks like this is my first journal entry in almost 9 years. Guess life got busy in that amount of time. The world has changed since then on many levels.  I will save many of you some time. I've read everything I've written on my profile and journal so far. It is all more true re my opinions today as it ever was.  Also, I am what many consider to be an open-minded, arch liberal. How could I not be?  In order to be unapologetically who I am in this lifestyle, a free thinking approach is needed. So it follows that if you are set in your ways, hate the current president, detest liberals, have maga swag, and own any let's go Brandon paraphernalia, save us both some time and move on to the next profile. There are plenty of women who feel like you do. No need to feel I can, or should be, convinced. Could I have convinced you to vote for any democrat much less Hillary Clinton? I didn't think so. I don't want to spend time on this site having political discussions  And since Im looking for serious play partners, I felt it best to leave this note here   Its better this way. More politically conservative males can click to the next profile and I won't have to read so many message. LOL I wish each of you the best. Happy hunting! Roxanna

Above all else, I’d like my ideal M/s dynamic to be established on and occupied with love. Mutual respect is a must. W/we would foremost seek to meet each other’s needs completely in a monogamous relationship. He would be in charge, make the decisions, rules and protocols; but seek my input where appropriate and value my opinion. I would like to wear His collar (and leash when appropriate) as a reminder of O/our commitment. Shared interests, in both vanilla and kink activities, should be present. Shared values would also be helpful, in both social, religious and financial concerns. I would hope, after some time, that this type of relationship might lead to a union of marriage or long term cohabitation / commitment. Broadly, I’d like the power exchange dynamic to permeate the relationship both in and out of the bedroom 24/7, but that W/we both have our lives and lead them together and apart. I do not seek to be a “kept” slave, but I do want to know He is in control at all times. This can take the form of rules, protocols, and expectations / goals. I would expect that full discussion of limits (hard and soft) would be discussed thoroughly, and that safe words wouldn’t be necessary or allowed once trust was established. This would aid in the vast possibility of CNC activities (within the confines of the pre-established limits). I would hope He would also push my limits over time. While W/we are together, He would exert His dominance in whatever way He chooses. I would attempt to anticipate His needs, but obey His requests as made. These requests could be sexual, domestic, or kink in nature. As a masochist, it would be helpful if He were a Sadist. I want to know He is getting as much out of the impact play as I am. This Sadistic predilection would also aid in intensifying the play and intensifying the benefit W/we both receive from it. I would expect that protocols would be established to help define the power exchange dynamic. These would be different when W/we were together alone, or together in public (or with family and vanilla friends). Public protocols would be known to us, but invisible to those around us such as waiting until He takes a bite until beginning to eat, sitting on a specific side, looking for a head nod to get up from a meal, wearing an insertable while out, etc. In private, protocols might include clothing restrictions, eye contact restrictions, greeting positions, speaking, bedtime rituals, distance, etc. Protocols would also assist Him in maintaining control when W/we weren’t together. These might include communication requirements, requesting permission (i.e. to do things or go places), journaling, maturbation, bedtimes, curfews, and the like. The concept of “protect His property” would be an overarching protocol that would manifest as rules / protocols when apart, but when in doubt “protect His property”. The idea that when W/we are together, He is looking out for my best interest and safety, but when apart, that job falls to me. I would expect that He would want me to grow and better myself. He would help me establish goals and hold me accountable to reaching them. These goals could be educational, health, career, kink, etc in nature. Periodic oversight and/or establishing benchmarks would be useful in ensuring progress. Punishment or negative reinforcement would need to be outlined so expectations are clear. I always strive to be the “good girl”, however, I would expect punishment if deserved. While I wouldn’t never fail or disobey to get a punishment, I would need to believe that followthrough on punishment would be made if I deserved it. Punishment would be warranted when protocols were broken or if progress toward goals hadn’t been met. I realize that punishment is hard to define for a masochist, but not impossible.

Here is an open thought. I am not on this site to find love. I have been loved, I have been engaged twice to the same man, that was a wild ride. I am not the type to have kids, however I can see myself adopting the runt of a litter who has no hope and a limited future and share my survival skills to make the runt the front runner in life.  I have always loved being the assumed underdog in life. I am a working professional so I will expect a man I try to connect with to be the same. I am not interested in a person's bank balance or assests, honestly none of my business. I do expect a man who is in my company to not be a cheap skate and I have met a couple. I am not expecting to be bought but I do expect if a man wants a BORN women who enjoys her feminity I should not have to spell out make an effort with flowers, make an effort with running the bath, make and effort with you see a pretty dress or skirt and think I know ONE women in my company who would look good in that. I appreciate men contact me and offer they want to be one of my two men but when I ask you to unmask yourself and tell me who you are, I want to know I am not inviting an unkept, unwashed, unclean, diseased, unemployed dread of society into my world or my bed. I don't think that is a hard ask. If you want to see my face not an issue, I do WhatsApp and you can even video chat for all I care but if you make me jump hurdles I will make you jump the same bar.   C

Here is my experience with the bimbo:She worked at a car dealership as a receptionist when we met. She dressed conservatively, never showing much skin. She was pretty, but could have really been a 10 with better hair/make-up etc. She was slim, had a round ass, and her best feature - her glorious D cups. She was simple minded. We fucked on the first date and by the third date she asked to stop at a pharmacy. She point blank said, "I'm going to pick up some lube so you can fuck me in the ass tonight". We starting dating and getting to know each other. I learned it was fine to be a bit aggressive with her. When she was in the mood, she fucked like a raunchy porn star. She loved to be dirty or nasty. She loved ass to mouth, spit/sloppy blowjobs, being spit on, getting/giving rimjobs. Even with unbelievable tits, nobody is perfect. Outside the bedroom, dealing with her became a chore. She could be very childish and whiny, constantly complaining. Also very stubborn or moody at times. She could also be demanding. I liked the slut a lot more than I liked the girlfriend. One day she'd wake me up with a blowjob and the next she wouldn't speak to me because I forgot to wear the cologne she bought me. Or She'd pick a restaurant, not like the food, and be in a bad mood all night. It became difficult to deal with her inconsistent behavior. It became she was really only good for one thing. And after a night of her begging for ass to mouth, she said I treated her too much like my "slut instead of [my] girlfriend". Things ended not long after. That's why I am open to find a girl who is more agreeable and build the bimbo onto her.

Passions of a Ghost Young and energetic MD approaches a stretch of buildings in the Sin City of New Orleans. Risking it all knowing he is outside his perimeter for Max Travel Distance from his military post, but he is dying to know what this new world is about. It is his first party within the lifestyle community with wild fantasies, expectations and fears raging through his mind. Will he be enough? How will he compare? Will he be accepted in a world which rejaspects him for being different? Questions galore which make his palms sweat beyond control. He has a few contacts already within the dungeon having gone through their vetting process. Paperwork signed and face to face meetings had, all that is left is to walk in the door. As he watches the comings and goings he see's Doms, Domme's, subs and slaves walking through a well worn door. Finally pulling himself together he walks in nervously and pays his fee to enter. Around the corner the adventure begins. Furniture of all kinds are found along the walls and in the center of a well laid out dungeon. People are talking amongst themselves, others strung up to crosses for their night's enjoyment, and yet more are preparing for scenes of their own. The energies are immediately felt and a bubbling rise is felt in his chest. As the energies are taken in he comes to understand. He is home. In the coming years this shy little Dom was able to study under some very wise, creative, and often sadistic people of all walks of life. These early days was full of dungeon parties, munches, gatherings of all kinds. There was a code of ethics similar to the military which he knew so well. There was respect. There was courage. There was acceptance. Of course there was love as well. In this community which became my world D types were hard, sadistic, and pushed hard to bring to life the fullest of potential in themselves and their s types. At the same time they still had a heart. If anything they loved their partners far more than ever written in vanilla history. Traveling with the military I traveled the country, but found myself in a different world when he got out after 3 tours overseas. The community had changed. It had evolved into something grander in size, but with so many elements which eroded the values he once knew. He walked those dungeons looking for any resemblance of the community he knew but it was nowhere to be found. Talking with his mentor she couldnt help but laugh at him. He was ranting and raving about the changes which took away the life he knew so well. He was struggling to find his way. He was frustrated how noone held themselves to a standard which made this life so great. He was lost and alone. Even in training with his partners he found them continuously pulled towards this easy shiny way of the life instead of putting in the work and patience required to get to the same level and standard as he needed. His mentor laughed hearing it all before and feeling it herself. She had long since left the community. She felt the changes moreso having come in years before he. She ranted and raved, felt the same frustrations. She battered against those walls trying to bring back those values long before he even felt their demise. After he finally stopped confused by the laughter, her next sentence said it all. "Welcome to the Old Guard" It wasn't anything official or an earning of leathers. It wasn't anything to brag about or label myself as such. It was a pure statement which helped him understand in such a profound way what he had been missing. In all that time he had been looking up like a child letting others take the reigns of the community. He didn't see myself as a leader though having over 12 years in this life at that point. He didn't find himself worthy to take up that mantle yet. After those words were spoken the whole discussion changed from what was lost to how he can be the example for those which feel that absence as deeply as he did. His drive towards mentorship and teaching drove a fire in him which couldn't be extinguished. He stood side by side with those very same leaders he looked up to trying to be that beacon. He started simply teaching rope classes but this also gave him a way to interact with people new and old within the lifestyle. Discussing the issues. Being that rock and safe haven to guide the next generation away from trouble and into a path of greater development. It was a lonely road for nomatter how hard he tried, his equal in passion for this life was nowhere to be found. If anything his role as a teacher and mentor drove him further into isolation. Experience once valued was now seen as a deterrent for many. His age showing more and more became a wall he couldn't tear down. Eventually after personal experiences which nearly crushed his soul, betrayal by the very community he loved and served for so long, he walked away into the shadows. He still had his friends and made the occassional appearances but his heart was held heavy knowing the life he knew was but smokey memories of a long gone era. Now 23 years into this life he found himself down the same road as his mentor before him. Slowly fading away as a ghost of the past. Leathers faded and worn, toys dusty and bearing the years of use, wrinkles where there used to be none, and a sense of passion still burning in his heart he still hangs on to hope. Not for the return of a community once known, but for that one which knows that same level of passion as his own. That one to walk these roads well traveled but once more. That one who he can share his all.  

So I have a confession. I found someone I'm smitten with here and I still had to leave him with no reply. I realized you have to make hard commands here because so many are trained and untrained by all different variations of superiors. So I'm going to write my must/must not list to help you gauge if we should be communicating at all.  1. Must ask for permission to hold a conversation. I instantly read your profile to see who you believe you are. Not doing this is a pet peeve. It's like being outside and someone just starts talking to you before they ask if you have time to talk.  2. I'm in Atlanta and I frequent Houston because I'll also have a home there soon. I get bored easily so online play is so having someone local or that enjoys travel a lot is preferable. I have a 7 day attention span before im Annoyed with only chit chat so keep that in mind.  3. I am a serial entrepreneur so I don't have time for a 24/7 sub/slave situation. I already have 147 employees, meetings, and projaspects in my vanilla life. The part of my life you live is to allow me to explore my deviance along with worship aspaspects I so enjoy. Everyone needs a little kink but there is a time and place for everything.   4. I rarely play home, I belong to many clubs throughout the U.S. So my favorite types of play dates happen to be dinner drinks and maybe meeting a couple or two if you've been well behaved. I only play with things that belong to me.   5. I enjoy ritual admiration. I believe when you believe in something you will develop rituals to keep it close to your heart. It's the reason we use to pledge our allegiance to the flag or say Grace before we eat. Being able to honor your superior or superiors always makes me happy.  6. I'm not into non thinkers. I Need to be able to hold a conversation with you. I want to enjoy having you and if your stuff like a broom stick I won't be able. Its ok for me to ask how your day was and you give me a real answer not you've been in chastity since 6amim talking about did you speak to family, how was work,  what did you eat? I am a Mistress and a Goddess and a Woman I don't turn any of me off to be the others they are my trinity. I want you to be able to be you in it's entirety for me.  7. So many of you seem like you could be great if you had the right person leading you, but you have to remember to make genuine connections. I'm not interested in training someone I have interest in nurturing. I'm a lover and  unfortunately some times my love hurts a little lol. Sometimes my love demands a little from you but if you believe I'm worth worship you will do what's needed.    8. I'm a 8 life path so I'll leave you with this go listen to "Take me to church" by Hozier and remember me!   Lets have a conversation but remember rule #1 before you message. If you can't follow simple instructions you're wasting my time.

  So I have had a few people now ask me what I am looking for and normally I don't like to put this in to words because it isn't something that is set in stone. It is definitely fluid and ever-changing, but I guess I can put the basics. Firstly, in order to define what I am looking for in a partner, I have to define who I am as my partner would be, in the most base sense, the opposite side of the same coin(s) (note the plural and you will start to see why this isn't so easy for me to define). So lifestyle me in a nutshell: -masochistic tendencies - primal - kajira - slave - submissive - doll - baby girl tendencies (not a little) - slight brat tendencies - service-oriented - energy practitioner Vanilla me in a nutshell: - high functioning anxiety/manic depression (sometimes not so high functioning) - extremely introverted - Norse Pagan - Gypsy Soul/ Wanderlust - dog mom - Scorpio (almost to a T, honestly minus the high sexual side) - highly intelligent and logical - overthinker - animal lover - hopeless romantic So in the most BASIC sense, that is me...so from there I would be looking for someone to complement me in these areas. Great! So what does that look like? Well, let me attempt to paint a picture: If you thought this part would be a bullet list, you will be sorely mistaken as it is not so easy to define. Him- The Dominant that I am searching for, as I stated before, would be my other half. I have MANY sides and nuances and so the person I need is someone who has all of the same sides, just on the opposite end of the spectrum. This is what I mean when I say I am searching for a unicorn as I am pretty sure it just doesn't exist. In the most base sense, I need someone who is 100% an Alpha Male. Yeah, I know that society today frowns upon men being men, but I also know that there are some that are still out there as it is just a part of who they are. I get toxic masculinity, but I also know there are many 'manly' men out there that aren't just a meathead. I have an extremely large and active primal side and it will not submit to just anyone, so that Alpha presense is needed. I need someone who can put me in my place and who isn't afraid to be rough at times. I love things like pursuit, take down, capture; CnC; wrestling; etc. If you made it past that part, the next thing would be someone who has more traditional views of a BDSM relationship. I am old school in a lot of my interests, wants, needs, and that zone in which I thrive. 24/7 M/s is where I find that I function the best. I love the depth of the relationship between a Master and a slave/kajira..but I also know how long it takes to foster the trust and depth of those relationships. I love the ritual and protocol of the M/s lifestyle and do extremely well in situations where everything in my life is controlled. This is not to say that only the daily that my outfits needs approved, but in like making sure my wardrobe is all choices that would be approved and they are sorted by occassions so that no matter what I would wear, it would be appropriate given the occasion and would have been approved. I understand there are not many who want the responsibility of how involved this type of relationship is and they do not want to control every ect of someone's life. They just want their bedroom play and that is it. That is great for those people, but not what I am looking for. I have a HUGE interest in the idea/concept of dollification. I know that most submissives/slaves may say that they want to be perfect for their Sir, but how many will go to the extent of actually doing it? This goes back to the slave mindset I believe in that I do want to be perfect for my Sir. If that entails changing hair color, getting tattoos, piercings, the type of clothing I wear, implants, waist training, etc...then so long as it is not illegal, it is want I would do/want with my Sir. This also includes sexual things such as stretching to be able to be fisted, or anal training, etc. This goes along with the 24/7 ect as typically enforced diets/excercise are a part of this. My masocistic side is weird. I am not a masochist in the every day sense that I crave pain all the time or that it gets me off. It fucking hurts. However, pain for me is a means of catharsis and for me to be able to process emotion as I have a terrible habit of just bottling it up instead of expressing it in the moment. The pain allows me to release all of that. My masochistic side is also very largely dependent upon the energy between my partner and me. I can take

damn got it all wrapped up....this is talking about the imagery and also the real life of us that are dark goddess priestess vibes...those who either have their warrior/men of action dark dudes or who are holding out for theirs to come to them...and then girlies like me who are naga the serpent who ejected themselves from the entire equation.   this talksssss about mature topics of power dynamics, what the issues are on both sides, why opposition both in real life and in media keeps us seperate, what happens when/if one of us comes together..and the wildness of ladies like me who are on the roam by ourselves. sooooo warning placed.haha.   for this deep dive we are going back to the classics of anime. especially a classic that was brought to american back in the 00s.   gundam wing(i could've added gundam 08th ms team for that jungle vibe because the main couple is a similar vibe but i didnt)   and slayers   from there we are going to specifically look at three romantic couples that despite enough evidence or direct source material that shows these couples are romantic based the entire fandom tends to question if they are 'legit' or not.   we are talking about:   1.xellos and filla   2. zelgadis and amelia(this one grinds my gears to the end of time that the fandom continuously rejaspects them and falls for the okie dokie bait and switch that zelgadis deserves to be with the good easy docile girl??? we'll talk about that more..this is literally cannon...it's literally in the original work, this isn't fanfiction???)   3. heero and the queen herself relena    talk about a whole ass power couple of infinite strength and finesse that so much of the fandom just can't handle.   the finale person that is not in a couple that i'll be talking about is the one and only naga the serpent. as a young lady who matured physically very early seeing women with big breasts that were often sexualized, tried  to be shamed for how their body is, their innocent and playful and wild nature being taken advantage of, and their loud boisterous ways...and yet they always stand on top..they were confident, they leaned into the sexuality that naturally forms from a body like that and make it look good for them. they wielded the sexuality that was given to them in a way that the men and women around them couldn't stand. and only the bad bitch pack could handle it...the archetype of naga tended to never have a man..but if they did the man was a wild one that let her be free and didn't try to cage her and was the supportive ground to her wild nature.     OH HO HO.   and you know a bitch practiced that daily as annoying young otakus do and perfected it.    and you know a bitch practiced that daily as annoying young otakus do and perfected it.   now that the scene is set, we are going to discuss a few topics.....how ameila and filla are literally high priestesses and while they are the light, the are fiery spunky and have a dark goddess vibe.....they have a side of them that the love and light people are often shocked, embarrassed, and disgusted by. and naga is the straight up dark goddess.   we have the men zelgadis, heero. and xellos the man of action. the warrior men, the dark brooding dark gods on display. the men in the fuckin trenches who aren't sweet, who aren't tender but are highly emotional and empathetic due to how life has shaped them.   and then we have the whole juxtaposition.   all of these people are not average people..they are cosmic beasts. powerful, agile, stronger, and more competent than the average person in their world. and the men and women tend to be engaging in their flirting, push and pull, dynamic, and attraction in a subversive power play due to the intense immensity of them.   vanilla people cite that heero trying to kill relena is a reason they can't be a couple. every either part time, fantasy, or someone like me who is a innate lifestyler where it's apart of my natural personality knows that when relena looked at heero with that face they were simply flirting and we knew it was over for her. it was the combo of the thrill the intrigue and the emotional oh hey there good lookin. i'd say if anything besides the fact that vanilla people were looking at it in a normal romance context the clunk was that they were so young. give it time for heero to cook and he'll get that devious dangerous flirt more refined.   u/littletwinstarspeace - the power of 3 will set you free? 3 priestesses and 3 warriors get together..or do they? how does their union which can totally be romantic, but often doesn't, transform the world? how does this work out in real life? and what about the dark goddess who ejaspects herself from… u/littletwinstarspeace - the power of 3 will set you free? 3 priestesses and 3 warriors get together..or do they? how does their union which can totally be romantic, but often doesn't, transform the world? how does this work out in real life? and what about the dark goddess who ejaspects herself from… u/littletwinstarspeace - the power of 3 will set you free? 3 priestesses and 3 warriors get together..or do they? how does their union which can totally be romantic, but often doesn't, transform the world? how does this work out in real life? and what about the dark goddess who ejaspects herself from… and well naga being so powerful and without a dude is she realllllllllly running into those dangerous gangs of men where she usually gets some sort of kidnapped or tied up just for shit and giggles?   u/littletwinstarspeace - the power of 3 will set you free? 3 priestesses and 3 warriors get together..or do they? how does their union which can totally be romantic, but often doesn't, transform the world? how does this work out in real life? and what about the dark goddess who ejaspects herself from… so we'll be talking about their relationships as the man on the ground the dark goddess priestess, their power dynamic-y ways....why so many especially traditional people don't see these people as actual romantic husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, lovers, partners, what keeps them separate, why even when they are clearly the pair they tend to be tempted by women who aren't on their level such as lena or distracted by the young lady in kingdom waltz, why it seems in spite of the obvious synergy between these that these men tend to end up with the more docile mismatched woman that they have sexual and fleeting passion for, what the challenge is for the woman, what the challenge is for the man, what happens when these power couples never get together and why in writing and story they do everything in their power including insert some mismatched woman that they usually end up with instead to keep them away, when someone like naga says fuck the system i'm ejecting myself from all this storyline and paving my own way   AND HOW THIS TRANSLATES TO REAL LIFE.   because for some of us bdsm and power dynamics are real.   magic is real.   esotericism is real.   there are real dark goddess vibes, high priestesses, knights, men of action, warriors, and though we don't see it as visual as the media we have our own magic that we wield. and these pairings and the entire thing is a very real real world issue. or situation.   my answer is riding with naga to all this conundrum, peace out and jump off the plane with no safety net or par

Dominus Mea SacramentumMente, cordis, et CorpusServitium cum HonorePraeceptum est mi

Just so you know I am addicted to cotton school girl plaid skirts with opaque white pantyhose  or thigh high nylons. Also addicted to gingham checks for skirts and dresses and blouses. These fabrics and patterns really get me excited and turned on sexually and always catches my eye when anyone is wearing these. Also addicted to white in most all feminine clothing, but especially white, tight denim fem jeans and shorts. Also get excited with cotton dresses and skirts and camisole tops in stripes. Love those stripes! Now do not laugh at this but the cotton check table cloths, like in Italian Restaurants and Pizza Parlors also turns me on. I like the smell of that type of cotton fabric along with the check pattern. Horny Crossdresser !!!

This past week was superb!   Had a few friends over for a turkey dinner I made.  Brined the 15 lb turkey in a sugar and salt brine, then AIR fried it.  The bird was done in 3 hours and ready to mate up with the other sides I made.   I enjoy my time in the kitchen as it relaxes me.  My friends continually rave about my cullenary skills.  Part of the fun of entertaining during the holidays is being free about who you are, what you enjoy and being able to share it with your friends.   Yes, the ladies are collared by their owners, including my friend Veronica, who brings her lovely slave girl Jessica.  Set the table for 9, myself and my four couples.  Turkey, dressing, green beans, hot rolls, mashed potatoes and gravy, and of course a white wine.  I was asked when I would find a woman to wear my collar again.  Said that was up to the good Lord himself, and maybe a bit of luck and reckoning. Been single again now for 3 years, and have not been actively looking too much.   When / if it happens again, I am hopeful her training will not be too stressful for her.  Holidays are so much fun, even with the games we play.  Sometimes the single life does suck, but I am not hurry to cross over and explore the alternative quite yet, Lord be willing!   Thats all for now youall, I will try to post again after the holidays..  

    Need me to rub your belly???? Feel the warmth of my lip and gentle flow of my breath As I softly kiss around your naval My breast slide over your penis. You feel the warmth of my breath It's hard and pulsating   I can feel it throbbing Tell me that you want me I stand and allow you to undress me I push you back on the bed Leaning over you, looking into your eyes, I place a kiss on your head So nice and hard I must taste Pulsating in my mouth Leaking a juice so sweet I crawl on the bed and pull you on top of me and tell you Put it inside me now!!! I am so aroused I cum quickly Working on my next explosion Grabbing you and pulling you deeper inside me I am taking every inch of you My breast are bouncing And you gentle hold them down as you suck pull and bite my nipples I tell you not to move I just want to feel myself grinding on you I cum again So nice and hot as it squirts all over us both I slap your ass and tell you fuck me hard We repo to a scissor position My knee bent to my face as you lean in for leverage I rub my clit as you are pounding my pussy I cum again I tell you to take your cock out and rub my juices around my pussy and ass I make you stand and I suck my juices off your cock and balls I play with your cock rubbing sucking and stroking. Massaging your balls, so very hard You moan and you want to grab my head and I tell you not to touch Edging you and then easing off I slow the licking and sucking down You have some much sweet juice just leaking I allow drops on my breast I rub the head over my nipples covering my breast with your juice I think shall I let you cum?   You say oh yes mistress plea

TO ANYONE WHO BLOCKED ME OR GHOSTED ME Thank you. When a person ghosts or blocks me I think it says more about them than it does about me. When someone ghosts or blocks me I say a little prayer. Well, that's not the first thing I do. The first thing I do is to probably to say a few little curse words --- just a few of my favorites --- and then I say a little prayer. I say the prayer because I am thankful that I dodged a bullet. I think that people who ghost or block others are weak and cowardly. They don't have the strength of character, integrity, honesty, or courage that I want, in fact, require in anyone that I am associated with whether it be a friend, a submissive, a colleague, or anyone else. They are doing me a favor by ghosting or blocking me because I am better off without them.  

For those that simply ask " How are you ? " .  you don't have to ask .  I'll tell you here before you ask.  I'm doing ok.   If you simply write and just say Hi.  Then I'm here saying Hi back.   Why is that ? So I don't feel the need to small chat with someone. That is not my purpose of being on this site.  I AM NOT lonely and looking for a chat buddy.  Honestly I am not.  Now if your deeply into alternative medicine ,  an advid  gardner, a highly spiritual being then I might be intested in " chatting " with you.   But my guess is 99.99 % of people that read this is not into those things.   That being said I am looking for someone no matter what your age/looks/ education or lack of, is .  That doesn't not matter to me in the least. What matters is are you someone I would consider in owning in real time ?  If you think you are then write and let me know... in DETAIL.   It is an extreme blessing that I don't waste my time on time wasters. 

Well Used... This week has been a combination of failure and success. Not much to do when on your cycle, but did still plug a couple of days during that. Open to possible options in how to be of showing submission during that time. Of course bj's are in the table. Sometimes, however, that's not desired by my owner. On the upside, there was being fucked senseless while plugged. And the last 24 hours has been very good. One round if being eaten out and fingered. Three rounds of being woken up for sex. He seems pleased that I always seem ready to go even being woken up in the middle of the night. On to week three!

 I am pleased  to be very strict highly Disciplinary controlling to a fault and an everyday spanker   all for a girl like you If you are true servant a service oriented woman  who does her best please and thrives in a strict  and demanding environment so my goal here is in  your Ownership   based on TPE protocols all taught to you within a relationship of apparent  domesticity  and normalcy but strict rules  you will abide by within rules governing  as many parts  of your life  as I wish to take  into my hands  and put under my authority     you will have domestic duties and household protocols such as  dress rules your clothing choices  will no longer  be yours to decide..  your demonstrable humility as you serve..  no huffing  no puffing  no eye rolls…    everything you  are given to do  will be carried out  with your  Respectful Obedience  as its base  and as its framework    you will be helpful  useful and a  very well Disciplined woman  my use of you  will make you  worth the time  it takes to  keep you  and train you   and pls understand  there will always  be the strap  for you to deal with if you don’t do things as you are  expected to thank you for reading    and if your profile  describes a very  nice girl needing  a new home… a good home…  and much further education? do say hello..  BMcB ---------------------------------     so I am revising my  profile here as I reconsider  my needs of the moment  the bedrock for me  is the slave I wish to Own  for the long term  to possess  to guide  and control  down to her smallest details  the one I am after is  obviously service oriented  maybe even genetically so  a born servant?  very likely as there are  born slaves in my experience  she is a girl needing to be found and collared  then trained  and put to work  learning the lessons of her submission  and her best slavery  and put to work in domestic ways  made to earn her keep  tending to chores..duties..  and my whims…  …daily work requirements  with strict oversight of  not only what she does  but how she does it  she will have tasks  to complete even  if it is decided to  allow her to work  outside her home  and she will complete them  and satisfactorily  before she is permitted  to sleep she will be a pleasant girl  in all she does  and certainly in carrying out  all her domestic things  no huffing no puffing no eye rolling  she will be monitored  and overseen  in her free time  as well  and in another epoch  she would be understood  to be a scullery maid  recently come down from  derry or belfast I believe where she would be  not so much  banished to the basement  as simply located there  where she would cook clean  and make tidy  the lives of those she  was Owned by… and again all my slaves work will be carried out  under strict oversight  and a good hard caning  of her bare ass  for any disappointments  she will be permitted  very slight unsupervised time  in addition she will receive  training in basic Obedience  with Disciplinary inspirations attached  to ready her for confinement and service  in her eventual TPE lifestyle  her submission will be intensely  exploited and can enjoyed at anytime  she is available for the pleasure  and gratification of her instructor  mentor employer Master care taker Owner pick one!  and any others she  might be given to  for whatever pleasures  they might decide  to use her for  her cooperation in doing  whatever she’s been told to do  is fundamental to her  successful Ownership  and her training and use are envisaged as providing  much pleasure for all involved  except for the slave herself  and before I forget  her slave pussy is going to be  closed for business  and will remain so for her foreseeable future  however she will be ‘teased’ daily  and very intensely with her orgasms properly denied ...this is btw only the initial training  of a slave in service…  -------------------------- MstrB writing from nyc I am here to find an appropriate slave and to Own that slave I will only consider full Ownership and complete authority over the girl I will decide most if not all of the slaves affairs her life her training her education and her uses these are mine to decide and I will use them I prefer to be strict with a slave and I am close to being a lifelong Disciplinarian who enjoys judging correcting Disciplining I am well aware that servants need attention sometimes words suffice but more often the strap needs to be brought into the conversation the slave will be taught to concern herself with being helpful useful and pleasing and above all Obedient she is going to be a very useful girl for me and never ever make my wonder why I took her into my life to begin with MasterB  

    The Guest House This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival.   A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comesas an unexpected visitor.   Welcome and entertain them all!Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,who violently sweep your houseempty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably.He may be clearing you outfor some new delight.   The dark thought, the shame, the malice,meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in.   Be grateful for whoever comes,because each has been sent by a guide above. 

In Regards to Domestic Servitude If you are wondering what some of the tasks will be, here is a list: Doing the chores, cleaning, and errands to include: Picking up packages, groceries, dry cleaning Changing the bed sheets, maintaining and putting the laundry away Keeping the closets organized  Watering the plants Draw my bath and pull down the bed covers To be a Chauffeur  Wait on and pamper me Massages Foot and Body Worship

12/04/2021   After a long ass time, I've finally returned to the site, to find the best possible option available to me, a journal entry system. I'll start by clarifying a few things, since I seem to get enough messages, no I am not a bot, yes I can tell when someone is a bot, and no I did not originally write the initial profile descriptions.  To be blunt, I was not the most supportive person when it came to this site, and didn't feel like getting involved. However, my former partners at the time, far more reserved than they come to appear in older versions of the profile, disagreed and decided that I need to replace them with someone else.  I am looking for a partner to have fun with, but more than that, I am looking to continue experiencing life...which hasn't been easy these last two years. Just when I was getting more involved on this site, the pandemic hit and made some things more difficult. I will admit to still looking for a creative "excercise" partner, and welcome anyone who'd like to join me.A lot of people had similar issues it seems, but I'll be here, clean and vaccinated, being as safe as I can and encourage all others to be the same.    Onto the juicy bits if y'all are still reading. I am still an Active Dom, last two years were rough but not without some interesting meetups, you'd be surprised at how many submissives are in the medical field and are desperate for some kind of release and feed into their fetish to alieviate the issues as of late, and I can't say I blame them given what I've seen of the emergency wards and the Covid floors.  Though my original profile entry is a bit more crass and disjointed than I'd have liked, I am still looking forward to meeting some folks here, and would more than welcome the opporotunity to engage in the community once more, Send me a message if ya wanna chat, game, or do whatever.

Normal is Weird Normal/typical/average is relative. Normal only exists in comparison, and for anything, there's probably "somewhere" where it's "normal." This is the internet age... there is something for people who share anything in common out there somewhere, and the ability to make it if there isn't. I don't know why people sometimes get an idea of normal in their heads, putting it on a pedestal and elevating it to unattainable levels, constantly comparing and defining themselves in comparison to that concept. Stranger still, why is it that so often those ideas of normal are so damn boring?! Anything really good (or bad), anything exciting or even different at all, wouldn't be "normal." You could only be normal if you were the same as most people around you. Normal seems just some shape/box to contort myself and my life to fit into. That seems like a lot of painful effort for little to no reward. Not to metion how much of it is beyond my control. My dad was 60, my mother 30, when I was born. Totally not normal. Totally beyond my control. Totally fine... great even... they were both wonderful, amazing people who taught me a lot and gave me many happy experiences, and I value happiness. I'd much rather be happy than be normal.

I tend towards being an opportunistic slut. I would also love to find an ongoing partner but that is like seeking a needle in a haystack. I really like to fuck. Feeling cocks inside of me feels good. Stranger dicks even better. I say opportunistic because I don't fit into the classic mold too well. I am not a tease. A game men seem to like. I am not an attention whore or classically an exhibitionist. I do not do the hair, makeup, etc...what a waste of time. I am also a tad dense and oblivious. I like assertive men and really you have to be because it will go over my head. I have different interests.  Some blend into each other but others can operate independently. When I am a slut I am not your sub unless I am your sub and you choose to use me as your slut.  Does that make sense?  Men tend to forget that.  They also mistakenly believe that sluts will fuck anyone and exist solely to please them.  That's what whores are for.  Which I am not.  I am in it for MY pleasure.  If I do not reply or opt out it is because I either do not foresee my needs being met OR that I don't share the interests that you desire. Ultimately I'd like to find that needle in a haystack.  One whose drive matches my own and has enough compatible freedom and time for something ongoing.   A dominant needs to recognize I am a slut. I'm not a little or a bimbo or brainless.  In fact I'm quite capable of being a fully functional adult. Lol  I don't need "help".  What I do want is a dominant who likes control and enjoys fulfilling his primal and sometimes twisted desires with a sub who will defer to his whims and needs. So what are my interests?  I would say I have a core set and additional ones that arise with someone I may meet. I like nipple/breast play/torture.  I like being restrained.  I like a swollen pussy and marks.  I like anal.  I have a decent pain tolerance and I do enjoy some types.  I am not what one would call a pain slut.  Pain for me is correlated to pleasure.  I would love to be shared.  Use me wherever and whenever.  I love wearing cum.  Throat fuck me, gag me...you can be pretty brutal.  I am not into cock worship or endless oral.  Youve heard of lactose intolerance?  I have a semen intolarance so I cannot drink it down.  <----100% true.  I cannot change that and the side affects are identical.   I am open to so much more but I am not bi.  No women or couples.  No scat.  Don't even mention eating pussy because no you won't make me like it.   Clearly this is a sexual type relationship.  I am married as ive stated so looking for those who need someone more for their own perverted/kinky fun. Other questions?  Ask.  

House of M UpdateDamaged (and Slightly Broken) As the song goes, "You're just broken. You're a little bit damaged, I'm a sucker for that" Something you might have seen in one of our past posts - "Seeking a slave who's slightly damaged" But what does it mean to us and why is it important to me and the House of M. First, We are all just a little broken and damaged inside. Nobody gets thru life without some degree of trauma, but so many of us just keep moving blindly forward, mindless of the bruises and scars that shape our actions every day of our life. We want those who are not blind to their trauma, and more, know how it impacts them and are connected enough with their inner self to confront it, so their brokenness does not blindly shape their life. Second, broken and damage adds flavor, uniqueness, and depth. Another song goes, "You might have fewer scars, but I'll have better stories" is absolutely true. I have found that those scars create depth of character and more interesting people. We love your scars! Third, to truly be able to be sympathetic to another, you have to have experienced struggles of your own. We want those who can be genuine, very real, and deeply emotionally naked with us as kinky people and vanilla ones too. If you cannot know the path we have walked, how can you truly "be" as real as we need you to be. Fourth, broken and damage leads to alternative methods to "cope". For whatever reason, it has been my experience that those who are slightly broken and damaged, have the deepest craving for kink. Could it be because they have found their healthy coping mechanism in their kink? Could it be that really letting go in the lifestyle is easier, deeper, more fulfilling because the kink, quiets the voices, eases the pain, brings the sensations that triggers that dopamine rush they need? Perhaps A causes B, who knows? Perhaps? Important: We will never take advantage of anyone. (That causes further abuse or harm). We respect each other, create a supportive environment, and are ALWAYS SAFE and SANE in our time together. So as long as it is healthy, we love help each other cope! Those who might hear manipulation or abusive use in this fourth aspect, know that is NOT it. Fifth, we are stronger together. In our House, we care for one another. Master is a Daddy, and Babygirl has a strong Mommy streak. There is big time nurture aspaspects going on here. We support each other. We care for each other. Our style of blending kink and vanilla lends itself to supporting each other. This is a value of our House that we take very seriously. So YES, we learned long ago that we connect the most with those who are slightly broken, slightly damaged. Our House will always be a safe (and exciting) place for you

An ode to Jewels Tavern( Decatur Street-The French Quarter, New Orleans, Lousiana )Mardi Gras is March 1, in 2022.I had explored every bar in the French Quarter, except, JEWELS TAVERN. This was 1980, pre-AIDs, Mardi Gras morning about 5AM the French Quarter is a mini Las Vegas but trashier.  I was partying like a rock star at the Parade Disco, Playboy Magazine ranking the Parade Disco one of the top 10 Dance bars in the United States.  I was with my gay friends, I loved these guys they always set me up with their fag-hag female friends.  As I said, I was pretty *ucked up from drinking for the last 4 days almost non-stop.....  If you've been to Mardi Gras you get it......its the WILDEST CRAZIEST ADULT Halloween STREET PARTY maybe on Earth!  Its the United States version of Carnival in Brazil.  I got my courage up and asked Steve if he would take me to Jewels (Tavern).  I was pretty drunk but not crazy, I wasn't going into Jewels alone on Mardi Gras day, the wildest day of the year in New Orleans for my first visit to Jewels alone.  Steve had just gotten out of the Marines and was about 6 foot and of course buff, I wasn't going into Jewels without an escort! Jewels was known all across gay America for there FULLMOON Parties.  Every full moon no matter what day of the week the bar had one perverted anything goes hedonistic party in the bar.  There are stories the second floor Pool Tables at Jewels had tarps thrown over the pool tabless ay fullmoon parties and Crisco would cover every inch of those tarps by morning.  Jewels in the French Quarter was our rough trade bar of the likes seen in the movie CRUSING (1980) staring Al Pachino, this kind of bar.  (( I'm always amazed Al Pachino appearred in Crusing ) ) Jewels didn't disappoint it was everything I thought and more.  The enterance to the bar was 2 swinging bar saloon doors. I had passed  those door many times going  to Morning Call for hot beignets and coffee  always respectful of Jewels reputation.  Steve went into Jewels first and I wasn't more than 1 foot inside that I saw naked bodies and various forms of sex.  Steve was a regular so after a few minutes I was on my own but I had gone inside for my first time.   What I want to share is I had an epiphany on Mardi Gras Day 1980.   I had been in Jewels about 10 minutes and I had to pee.  The bathroom was in the very back right of the bar.  I went into the bathroom and looked around and there wasn't a urinal, there was a small cubical that had a toilet but NO URINAL.  There was instead a 4 claw old fashion bathtub with a naked guy inside.  I realized the bathtub was the urinal.  I pulled my dick out and let loose a long piss directly onto the naked guy in the bathtub/urinal.  The epiphany was the GLOW, SMILE, PLEASURE, that radiated from the guy, I just pissed on.  He looked at me with complete happiness I have never seem such total happiness before.  He grabbed a roll of theater tickets ripped of a bunch and told me that they were good for free beers at the bar and to hurry on back. I was a changed man since that experience.  I learned if you enjoy it and it doesn't hurt others do it.  Enjoy it what ever it is for you, don't question why, embrace these moments and experiences when you live out your fantasies into reality that is true fulfillment.  You only live once. FOOTNOTE    I got another cool story about Jewels that involved a,   Female to Male Crossdreser.  This women when dressed as a man, looked more butch, than most of the guys in any bar. FOOTNOTE  The House of the Rising Sun referenced in the Animals song is in the French Quarter and I got another interesting experience to tell about that place .....ITS TRUE ITS the RUIN OF MANY A POOR BOY, I KNOW I'm One. Sir Hugo Atlanta   (Formerly known as Sir Hugo of New Orleans)   

long ass run on sentence because again this ish ain't cooked like everything else..but i feel i have a foundation enough to share. so the team sacred sexuality, spiritual sexuality in the bdsm camp isn't anything new.but it's often unlooked upon, not talked about often.   AND THEN WHEN IT IS PEOPLE TEND TO BE FREAKIN CULTISH or TRAFFIC like about it. again   GETTING CAUGHT UP IN THE SAUCE OF IT.   don't get caught up..don't go full you know what tropic thunder.   i wanted to delve into my unique mystic reference points of what i'm supposed to embody. less of a personal share and more these are the frequencies of that that people aren't talking about. and a more 3d anchoring of why if it's not torture, violent, malfiencent, demonic(DARK AND DEMONIC IS DIFFERENT), cycle of low vibes depression negative just to stay stuck this is powerful work going on here.   whichhhhh i'd say probably 85% of the people in the scene aren't open to doing, aren't doing...and then the 15% of us that are open to or trying often get lost in the ego/chemical/obsession/blah de blah sauce of it.....i'm sure some are doing the work but i'd say the temptation of falling into the earthly clutches is too hard for even the strongest souls out there. but i don't doubt some of us are...i'm just going to from my experience observation and etc. over the years say it's teeny tiny tim.   so i think eventually i'll start pulling specific texts, passages, etc. to reference...but at the moment this is what i'm cooking with here.   i got some seasoning on this meat and some side dishes. it might be in the oven but it got a few minutes left before it's fully cooked.   i want to at some point figure out this connection to triggering your mind to finding some sort of joy,release, ecstasy, penchant, tick for this to help with the initiation vibe of this life cycles of pain, struggle, internal external death, and rejuvenation rising to a new level of awareness, consciousness, playing life at a new game layer. and having to repeat crushing your soul over and over because at this point that's the only wu wei through it..the only way out is through..and if you somehow tweak or were born with a tweak of having some sort of pull to this on some level....it can definately ease that transition between i don't even want to be here anymore, i don't see what i can do, the next step forward is hard, getting out of the chair is hard. getting out of bed is hard, eating is hard...i'm in either so much chronic mental physical emotional whatever pain i don't even know how to make it to the next second..and yet here i am...and eventually sitting there long enough WOW that answers something i've been struggling with my whole life or wow...i really be on the other side and people say i look feel like a new person..cause i am. vibe. but i haven't cooked that yet.   What you’re describing resonates strongly with the idea that BDSM, particularly for those with a spiritual and sacred sexuality approach, can be an initiation into understanding and transmuting difficult experiences—whether they’re emotional, mental, or physical—into something transcendent. It's about finding power, joy, and meaning in what others may perceive as pain or limitation. For those walking a dark goddess/god path, engaging with these deep, often uncomfortable aspaspects of existence is like walking into the fire, embracing it, and coming out transformed. In BDSM, the submission or domination, the intensity of sensations, the structure—it’s a way of surrendering to those darker, more primal energies and learning how to dance with them, instead of running from them. It's not about causing harm or deriving joy from suffering in a malicious sense, but rather seeing those experiences as potent tools for growth and alchemy. There’s also something deeply spiritual about how BDSM can allow you to break down barriers, bring shadows to the surface, and release them through intensity. It’s like a sacred practice that mirrors life’s larger trials, offering a space to explore things that society tells us to avoid. And in doing so, you find those hidden gems of power, resilience, and sometimes even ecstasy in places where most people only see pain or discomfort. So, yes—BDSM, especially in the context of sacred sexuality, can be a path of transmutation, of turning the 'dirt' of life into something meaningful, powerful, and even ecstatic. You’re describing a kind of soul initiation where the difficult, the structured, the disciplined all serve as catalysts for deeper transformation.   Yes, we can definitely tie this concept to esoteric traditions, Sophia, Archangel Michael, starseeds, and even biblical or magical texts like Psalms and Hoodoo. These deeper mystical paths often acknowledge the need for initiatory trials, the transformation of the self through discomfort, and finding the divine within both the light and the dark. Here's a way to weave these threads together, creating your own unique spiritual framework:   ### **1. Sophia and Sacred Sexuality** Sophia, as the embodiment of divine wisdom, often represents the balance between the light and the dark. She is a figure who, in Gnostic traditions, descends into the material world, experiencing fragmentation and pain, but ultimately returning to divine unity. This resonates with BDSM's transformative potential: going into the depths of what might seem uncomfortable, fragmented, or even painful, only to discover wisdom and ecstasy on the other side.    Sacred sexuality in esoteric traditions often involves embracing what others reject—taboos, hidden emotions, and primal instincts—and finding divinity there. Sophia's journey could reflect how through embracing both joy and pain, domination and submission, we find higher wisdom.   **Reference**: In the *Pistis Sophia*, Sophia’s ascent after her fall from grace mirrors the transformative aspaspects of BDSM, where the soul undergoes suffering and constraint, only to rise again, stronger and more enlightened. BDSM can be seen as a ritual of descent into shadow to reclaim lost parts of ourselves.   ### **2. Archangel Michael: Protection and Structure** Archangel Michael represents protection, order, and the warrior spirit. BDSM often requires a sense of discipline, safety, and structure, particularly with the use of boundaries and consent. Michael's energy is about upholding divine law and justice, which ties into the consensual power dynamics found in BDSM relationships.    Through the lens of sacred sexuality, Michael’s sword can symbolize the cutting away of illusion, helping us embrace our true selves—including our shadow aspaspects. This is about understanding that through structure, we gain freedom.    **Reference**: In esoteric teachings, Michael is the protector of divine truth, often seen battling darker forces. This can be connected to BDSM as a way of confronting and working with those darker forces within ourselves under Michael’s guidance, using discipline (bondage, power play) to bring about clarity and transformation.   ### **3. Starseeds and Initiation** For starseeds (Sirius, Pleiades, Lemuria, etc.), the idea of spiritual initiation is key. Many starseeds believe they are here to awaken the planet, often through unique and sometimes unconventional paths. BDSM can serve as a modern-day initiation, where one experiences intensity and then learns to channel it into spiritual or emotional awakening.