I recently sent this to a few people who DMed me: "Did you send this to me by mistake? It reads as though you are in the middle of a conversation with someone else."   As it turns out, people are referring to journal posts I have made days, weeks or even months in the past WITHOUT AN INTRODUCTION EXPLAINING WHY THEY ARE WRITING TO ME.    It does not take much to preface a message with, "I saw your most recent journal post here and I think ..." or "I was doing a deep dive into your journal here and I noticed ..."   I do not re-read my journal every time I log on. My DMs are not the comments section of my journal. Indeed, journal entries here are not like forum topics where the the context is already obvious.  So if you write me about something I posted to my journal and I have no idea what you are talking about, now you know why I sent you that type of reply.

Goddess has been away, as life intruded, for some time.  Imagine Her Joy at finding on Her return a slave uncovering a new dimension to herself and immediately reconnecting with Me and another girl sending energy to Me that she had hidden from herself for years, trusting in Goddess to help her grow. Worship and devotion is lovely.  The intimacy of being seen and valued and spending time with Me cannot be overstated. These two give Me great and tremendous joy.  Others do as well. but this entry is for them. I hope they both smile as they receive My Blessings. if this sparks a yearning in you, especially if you are lost and shy and wish for happiness through devotion, message Me.  My Abundance awaits.

¿Es necesario el amor en una relación BDSM?Respuesta rápida: depende. Como siempre dar like, compartir, comentar, seguir https://amaasht.art.blog/2023/03/19/de-amor-y-bdsm-nunca-nuevo-siempre-actual/

Ahh, my favorite season is here... Anything-But-Summer! I love the cooler weather in general, plus it gives me an opportunity to spend more time working in my yard. Now is the perfect time to look over my plants to see what was successful, and what may need relocated or even replaced. Once again, I'm enjoying the small surprises, such as the blueberries that have survived and even appear to be thriving in the bags in which I purchased them this spring. I'm saddened by the plants that looked promising in the spring, yet didn't survive the summer.  Much like those plants, although pleasant for a while, apparently I need to reassess some of the relationships in my life and consider finding others that have the potential to last longer and grow even more beautiful. Who wants to frolic and grow in my garden? *ominous grin*

After years of being in D/s relationships, I've come to realize that I am just not capable of equality in 'vanilla relationship'. I gave it a shot but discovered how unfulfilled, frustrated and dispirted I became when engaged in a relationship with a partner as 'equals'. Dispite attempting to gravitate away from any D/s aspect within a relationship, my natural instincts and habitual tendencies always found a way to emerge subconsciously without my realization. My inner desire would have me doing things that used to be commonplace as a domestic slave but were highly discouraged during my attempts with 'vanilla relationships'. My therapist believed I subconsciously believe I am not worthy of love, but I disagree entirely. My love for submission, service and dedicating my every waking moment in pursuit of another individual's happiness is love on a different scale. She says that's just obsession and addiction, I told her she didn't know what happiness and life is about. I explained how in my relationships in D/s, happiness is a product of my devotion, loyalty and making my owner's life simpler, less stressful and more fulfilling in all aspaspects, which directly impacts my happiness. Because of this mantra, I compared serveral situations within a D/s relationship compared to a vanilla relationship. I discussed the difference in communication, expectations, and how shared responsibilities can foster underlying resentment. Then as a final point I looked to civilization's history and explained how up until the 1960's, culturally women were expected to be submissive to their men, remain in the home, be seen but not heard, cook, clean, provide sexual pleasure rather than receive it all while putting on a smile and looking good. I explained that in a nutshell, those general principles are some of the basic things I crave in any relationship. I genuinely receive pleasure from making othera happy in any capacity. I then asked her if her husband evokes even a percent of those qualitie.......I told her no response IS a response, thanked her for out final session and exited the room.  So to sum things up, I'm back here again in hope to find someone with similar values, aspirations and ambitions in life. It's always darkest before the light.

The Standard of Respect I have been active in this lifestyle for a long time; I am not new, and I am certainly not naive. I have put significant effort into my profile and journals because I value transparency. I expect the same in return. No Instant Demands: Do not lead with demands for pictures or "bowing down." Reciprocity: If your profile is empty, do not expect me to do the heavy lifting. I want to know who you are, just as I have shared who I am. Hard Boundaries: I am not looking for degradation, humiliation, or to be treated as a "doormat." I know my worth. I am an SSBBW and I am comfortable in my skin; if that is not your preference, please move along without comment. Also to be upfront hard limts t giving oral and giving rimming are hard limits. The Dynamic: Polyandry (One Female, Multiple Males) I am seeking a committed, long-term Polyandrous dynamic. I am specifically looking for a life-long connection with more than one man. Why Polyandry? I have a high drive and a vast amount of love to give. I’ve found that one partner often cannot meet all my needs, and I refuse to be left alone or feel neglected. No MFF/FMF: I have explored these dynamics in the past and found them to be unfair. I am not interested in being the "added" female to an existing couple. The Vision: I envision a household where we are all connected. I am particularly interested in bisexual men, as I believe this fosters a deeper bond between all members of the family, ensuring no one is ever "the odd man out." Commitment & Independence Financial Autonomy: I intend to work. I have been financially dependent on men in the past and felt trapped; I will not repeat that mistake. I am a partner, not a dependent. The "Family" Bond: While not legally married, I am looking for that level of emotional and spiritual commitment. I value structure—such as rotating schedules to ensure everyone gets 1-on-1 bonding time as well as group time. Real Life Only: I am not here for "cybering," "hookups," or digital-only fantasies. I am looking for a real-world, long-term family structure. Final Thoughts I realize what I am asking for is rare. I am not "young," and I am not interested in settling. I would much rather be alone than be unhappy or disrespected. If you are a mature, respectful man who understands the depth of a polyandrous commitment, I welcome a thoughtful introduction.

"Switch"? ~ What it Means Pertaining to Me  I am not "a Domme" or "a sub", and definitely not a slave. I am a free woman with a generally dominant personality, who lives by Gorean principles and philosophies in real life, and also engages in BDSM activities. I tend to be "toppy" toward those on the more submissive end of the continuum, though I do usually at least defer to free men, and will conditionally submit to those I deem worthy of such. Apparently, the "switch" moniker is very confusing to some people, so I will go into detail here about what it does - and doesn't - mean, in my case. We'll start with the "doesn'ts", since those seem to be the most oft misunderstood. "Switch" does NOT mean:   I go back and forth from free to slave. It's a BDSM activity preference - not an indication of status. I am free. Period. Submitting to certain men or enjoying bottoming for some activities does not make me "a sub". It just means I enjoy a variety of activities, and that I am a woman who embraces natural order, so tend to show submissive traits in the presence of strong, dominant, free men, despite my mostly dominant personality. I will do/be/play whatever role you are seeking I'm not a fetish dispenser! Do not treat me like one. my role within any specific D/s dynamic is flexible It isn't. The boss is the boss, and stays the boss. The FC/sub/beta/slave/whatever s-type obeys. I "switch" between being/identifying as dominant or  submissive depending on my mood, the day, the phase of the moon, or any other whims.  I do not.  I am simply who and what I am. I relate to others depending on their place on the spectrum of dominance and submission as compared to mine, and, as appropriate, their status or rank as compared to mine. "Switch DOES mean (for me)  I enjoy both "topping" and "bottoming" in BDSM activities/scenes, regardless of D/s involvement (or lack thereof) at various times and with different people.  I respond in different ways to different people or types of people - Some people trip the dominant trigger, some trip the submission trigger, and some people do neither. That's just the way I'm wired. Telling me what I "should" do, or trying to demand, cajole, whine, bitch, or otherwise manipulate me into relating to you in your desired manner will backfire. Badly!  For a more in-depth look at the topic... The word, "switch", for me, is only a label for convenience. It doesn't encapsulate who or what I AM. I am a strong woman with a dominant personality and submissive tendencies. I believe in the natural order of things (more on that in a future post), and that D/s is not a clear cut, either/or sort of thing. Rather, dominance and submission are character traits on a continuum, which vary from person to person, with every person falling somewhere on the scale, creating somewhat of a hierarchy.  That means that a single person may be submissive or subordinate to some, whilst outranking or being dominant to others, at the same time.   It was recently compared by someone in a discussion to that of a wolf pack. I tend to agree with that allegory.  A pack will have an alpha male and, generally, an alpha female. The alpha female is the boss bitch, and she is dominant over the rest of the pack, but, she is still submissive to the alpha male, with whom the buck stops. She is still very much free to do as she wishes, and no one had best mess with her unless they are ready and willing to attempt to fight her, and potentially her mate, but she yields to him, because it is how they are biologically wired. The same is true, I believe, with humans. Another comparison is that to serving in the Armed Forces. A Drill Instructor is God to the recruits in their platoon, but if an Officer is on deck, that same Sgt. (or whatever) damn well better snap to attention and salute along with those recruits, and the C.O. (Commanding Officer) merits same from all of the aforementioned, going on up the chain of command right up to the Commandant, and then the Commander in Chief himself.  In neither of those comparisons, does an individual bounce between two or more separate "roles". They occupy their given role, and interact with others and the rest of the world accordingly, depending on those others' respective roles. They don't have to transition from one "mindset" to another, because they know their place in the larger scheme of things, and everything just flows naturally from there.  It is simply a fact that there are more than two "ranks" in life, and in nature. I will not separate out my dominant and submissive traits into separate "personas". They are not. I am me. I am a whole, integrated, complete person, with many different facets. I choose to embrace that. Neither will I "dumb down", pretend to be less than, submit, or pretend to submit to anyone, simply by virtue of their gender, status, or because they claim a certain title or position. I will start out being respectful to others, and will defer, to a degree, and maintain a submissive attitude with free men as long as they don't give me reason to do otherwise. From there, they will either earn my respect, and the added deference that may accompany it, or they will earn... something less, and I will do my best to at least remain civil, so long as they can avoid pushing me too far. Do not mistake a respectful demeanor, good manners, polite deference, or knowing my place in the natural order of things for outright submission. There is a distinct difference, and making assumptions is an unwise idea.

PLEASURE MOMMY!!!   I raise my leg and pull the leash placing your face up against my mound.  You can feel the warmth as I grab the back of your head pushing your face up into my pussy.   I tell you to open your mouth so you can taste my sweet nectar.   You love that taste your nasty little slut!   While holding your leash tight I tell you to lick me slowly and then tongue fuck me till I tell you to stop!!   Moving my hips from side to side slapping you with my thick thighs........I pull you in closer   BITE ME YOU SLUT MAKE MOMMY SCREAM!!! I cum so hard I fart in your face and you never miss a lick.   I grab your chin and bend over to lick my juices off your face.   I slap your face!!   Then push your head back and straddle your face so you can continue to please me.   Finger my ass while you tongue fuck me!!!!...................WOW

There is a movement coming in the world soon. The false Messiah is coming and will be celebrated as the real deal. This will cause anxiety in many Christians because they will be targeted and even some will lose their life because of it. Still some will have to leave everything behind and be isolated with God in the wilderness, leaning on God for guidance to survive the time and be part of the remnant. God will call you into action when it is time. There will be renewal for God's children even if you lose your life. He has a purpose and he will bring things back to how they were meant to be. Please don't throw away your confidence in God whether in sickness or health, in life or death, in the good times or the struggles. Keep the gospel commandments as best you can. He knows your heart. And when it comes do not take the mark of the beast when they offer it. Lay your life down for Jesus. Anyone who saves their life will lose it and those who lose their life for Jesus will be given life and life abundantly like he promised. In his Father's house are many MANSIONS if it were not so he would not have told you. He will prepare a place for you. Just choose him please. 

Now that we have journals back, it's time for an update. This is now a poly household. We're set up with both a dungeon and a medical playroom.  The dungeon is amazingly well stocked with just about every sort of cane, flogger and whip you can imagine, and some things you probably haven't.  Anyone who's interested in play time or dungeon time should feel free to ask. If you're interested in more than just playtime, there are some things you should understand:  This is a KINKY HOUSEHOLD.  It is NOT kid friendly.  If you have kids, and have custody of them, we can talk and even arrange some playtime, but we're probably not going to be a good match.  This is a POLY HOUSEHOLD.  In order to make this dynamic work, everyone involved needs to be willing to compromise and work as a team.  This is a balance that takes work to maintain, and is incomptable with drama.  We're only interested in women who are willing to try to contribute to the dynamic and thereby add to the household.  Chaos is not welcome here.    If you are under 25, we don't expect you to have your life together, but we do expect you to be sane and healthy.  Freaky is encouraged, but have a grip of reality - you've got to start with reality before you plunge down the rabbit hole.  If you are over 35, still living at home and unable to take care of yourself, or still going out to bars and clubs every night you can to get blitzed and hook up, you need to grow up before contacting us.  I am willing to travel to meet, but if you're outside PA, you're going to need to do a video call.  We travel by private plane on the east coast of the US.  If this excites you great, I'd love to have another pilot in the household.  If this terrifies you, we're out of your league.  I'm sure there will be more coming, but this is a good start. 

Bondage Bondage is a common practice within BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism), which is a set of consensual activities involving power dynamics, role-playing, and various forms of erotic play. Bondage refers to the act of restraining or tying up a person for the purposes of sensory stimulation, power exchange, or simply as a form of erotic or aesthetic pleasure. In BDSM, bondage can take many forms and can involve a range of materials such as ropes, chains, handcuffs, leather straps, or bondage tape. The specific techniques and tools used in bondage can vary widely depending on personal preferences and the level of experience of the individuals involved. Bondage can be used in combination with other BDSM activities or as a standalone practice. It often forms part of a larger scene or session where participants negotiate and establish boundaries, consent, and safe words to ensure the activities remain consensual and safe for everyone involved.  It's important to note that in BDSM, consent and communication are paramount. All activities should be consensual, and participants should establish clear boundaries and safe words to ensure that the experience is enjoyable and safe for everyone involved. It's always recommended to educate oneself about BDSM practices, communicate openly with partners, and prioritize safety and consent at all times.

May 16, 2023 - Sextoy69 got a HARD throat fucking today !It's been awhile since he has stopped by. And last time he came by it was unannounced and I was in my bathroom. He said it was hot that all I had on was the bathrobe.So this time, knowing he was going to arrive, I dressed all in leather. A leather jockstrap, a leather harness, a leather vest, a leather Sir cap.I told him to come on in when he gets here but instead I surprised him by meeting him in the garage dressed like I've described.His face lit up as soon as he walked into the garage and could see me. I told him, "I thought I would dress up a bit today for you."He said, that looks great.We headed upstairs and he started to lay down on the bed on his back. Normally I just climb on top of him and start throat fucking him right away. This time I had other ideas.I told him to get on all fours with his head down on the mattress and his ass in the air. I lubed up a finger and started playing with the outside of his ass. His dick started to get hard so I reached between his legs and started playing with it. Eventually I slipped my finger in his ass and found his prostate gland and started pushing on it. I felt his cock bounce in my other hand.I continued playing with his ass with one finger until I felt him starting to loosen up. Eventually I put a second finger in with a bit of extra lube. I stopped playing with his cock and concentrated on his ass for a while. I rotated my two fingers around stretching his hole open. His chest collapsed even more onto the bed as he pushed his ass higher into the air.I reached between his legs again and started playing with his hard cock. There was pre-cum dripping out. I pulled my fingers out of his ass, and collected some of the pre-cum on those fingers and shoved my fingers and his pre come back into his ass.As I played with his cock his ass tightened around my fingers. This only made it even more fun to spend my fingers around and listen to him moan. Occasionally after playing with his cock for a while my fingers were sticky with his precum so I started playing with my own cock using his pre-cum. I knew eventually he'd be sucking my dick which would mean he would be sucking his own pre-cum off my cock.Although we've been playing for a while I've only fucked him once before. And he didn't really like the experience, although he loves sucking and choking on my cock. As I was playing with his ass, and playing with my own cock using his precum, I wanted to fuck him so bad. But, we hadn't discussed it so I kind of put it out of my mind and just kept playing.I eventually got a third finger into his tight ass using even more lube. Then I reached back behind me to the table and got a large rubber dildo. It's narrower at the tip and grows wider as more and more gets pushed in. With very little effort, it started to slide in his ass. I pulled it out and shoved it back in, fucking him with it. Fucking him with it the way I wanted my cock to fuck him.I pushed a little deeper, and then pulled it all the way out again. Added a little lube and pushed it in to the same depth again. Still playing with my own cock, I would occasionally play with his cock to get more precum on my hand to lubricate my cock. He was pushing his ass higher and higher into the air, but at the same time spreading his legs so I could continue to play with this cock.The toy was now pushed in his ass far enough that it was equivalent to the three fingers I had in him just moments ago. So I pushed a little further, a little harder, and more of the toy slipped up his ass. His hole was now quite stretched. He was making wonderful grunting noises as I fucked him with it.   View the rest of tHe story at http://www.SirKel.top

Living in a polyamorous household, where multiple individuals have consensually chosen to have romantic and/or sexual relationships with one another, can have numerous benefits for all members involved.  One of the most obvious benefits is financial. By sharing living expenses and resources, such as a home, transportation, and household goods, members of a polyamorous household can reduce their individual expenses and potentially increase their savings. In addition, having multiple partners can provide emotional and practical support, which can result in reduced stress and better financial decision making.  On the social level, living in a polyamorous household can also be beneficial. Members can form deep and meaningful connections with multiple partners, providing a greater sense of belonging and connectedness. In addition, the open communication and negotiated boundaries that are typically a part of polyamorous relationships can lead to a greater sense of trust and understanding among all members.  On the psychological level, living in a polyamorous household can also have positive effects. For example, being able to form romantic and sexual connections with multiple partners can provide a greater sense of self-worth and self-esteem. In addition, having multiple partners can also provide a sense of security and emotional support, which can lead to greater overall well-being.  However, it is important to note that living in a polyamorous household is not without its challenges. For example, jealousy and insecurity can sometimes arise, and open communication and a willingness to work through these challenges is crucial for the success of the relationship. In addition, it can also be difficult to navigate societal judgments and discrimination against non-traditional relationship structures.  In conclusion, living in a polyamorous household can provide numerous benefits for its members, including financial, social, and psychological advantages. While it may not be for everyone, those who choose to live in such a household can find that the benefits outweigh the challenges, leading to a happier and more fulfilled life.

There should be a place to go where you can fuck and feed. I remember with my ex we had sex pretty much 24/7. Call it the fuck and feed. Never found someone to keep up and even he complained about too much sex. Alas he was the only one I could just make/go get a sammich and we went right back it. We had sex in all the strange places graveyards temples churches, besides anywhere outside  We didn't discriminate.  This one time I dropped off my friend told him I'd pick him up in an hour my ex and I had sex in the car for the whole day we never stopped. My friend walked to my car (which was a parking lot) knocked on the window and said "some hour it's been over 12". My ex and I honestly thought it was like 10 mins. I have no regrets - just miss the sex all the time every time with a massive BBC. This i something of the past I don't want to stay there would like a repeat thanks 

Chapter one - Sweet Slave (Or, How it all Began). A story I wrote for fetlife.I take the bottle of wine from the fridge and pull the cork, giving it a little time to breathe. I dice the onions, and throw them in the pan. I like that sizzling sound they make... I add the spices, then diced chicken breast. I let it brown a little, before adding the coconut milk and putting the rice on. I get a text from you - you're on your way. I start dressing the table - a rose in a vase, a candle in a brass candlestick, nothing too fancy. I'm not the fancy kind, I don't want to give the wrong impression this early on in a relationship. If this works out, I want it to be for the right reasons. The doorbell rings shortly afterwards. You're smiling as I open the door and ask you in, you genuinely seem pleased to be here - pleased to see me. "I didn't know what else to bring," you say, handing me a bottle of red wine. I smile and kiss your cheek, then take you to the kitchen, where the meal is spread out already. You give me a coy smile as I pull out a chair for you to sit down. "This looks amazing." You take a bite. "You weren't lying, you really do know how to cook!" you exclaim. "This tastes amazing, my local takeaway could learn a thing or two from you..." you giggle a little as you speak. "Honestly, it's such a simple recipe, and I just add a little double cream, it gives it something extra," I say, glad that you seem to be honestly enjoying the food. I pour you a little wine and smile at you. "I'm really glad you agreed to this, I know it must make you very nervous," I say. "I haven't had much luck with first dates in the past. I don't seem to make a good impression until someone truly gets to know me. I guess that's why I wanted to chat online for a while before we actually did this." You smile and look down at your plate, pushing food around, then taking a bite. You glance up at me and smile again, blushing a little. "I'm very shy around people I like - you know, that way," you say. "I was glad you wanted to go slowly at first too." I smile back at you, a sweetness seems to wash over me from your direction. I'm a little enamoured by you already, but I dare not say that to you, in case it scares you off. Something inside me feels your submissive nature - your little glances at me, the way you hide your face partially with your silky hair. The way you blush when our eyes meet, and immediately look at the floor, smiling. I like it. I kinda want to growl at you, but that feels premature. We finish dinner, then we sit down to watch the movie we'd decided on beforehand. Amélie. We've both seen it before and loved it, but neither of us has seen it in a long time - so it seemed a safe way to spend a little time together. I put my arm around you and we watch the film, wonderfully quirky yet romantic, watching Amélie fall for Nino. As the movie ends, I find that you've wrapped yourself up in my arms and you're clinging to my arm, resting against me like I'm a giant teddy bear. You start sucking on my thumb... I look at you for a moment. I'm not certain what to make of this action. You turn to me and smile. "I'm... I don't know why I did that..." you say, looking concerned. I smile at you, letting you know I don't mind, and you smile back, relaxing visibly. I kiss you... You tense up and squeak, then let out a little sigh as you relax. I put my hand on your back and pull you closer, you put your arms around my neck in return, and we kiss - gently at first, but heat builds up between us and it's not long before we're kissing with a fervent passion. I push you down onto the sofa and pin your arms above your head, kissing you into the sofa. You moan and put your legs around my waist. I break the kiss and growl at you. You squeak again, then look at me like a naughty schoolgirl. You have the same thing on your mind as I do. I pick you up, carry you to the bedroom, and put you on the bed gently. I start undressing you as I kiss you, getting a little rougher with each garment tossed aside - until finally I tear your panties off and toss them who knows where. I rub your pubic mound in circles as I kiss you, teasing you, and you let out a little moan. I break the kiss and look into your gorgeous, sparkling eyes. You look comfortable, I see no fear in your eyes, just a naughty twinkle. "I have something for you," I say. I take a pair of fur-lined cuffs from my side table and I secure your wrists to the headboard. I pull your legs apart and I settle between your thighs, my face so close to your sex you can feel my breath. You have a buttplug in your ass, topped with a heart-shaped crystal. I rub it gently in circles for a moment, teasing you with it. "Oh, oh, I umm..." you start to say, but I lick your clitoris and you let out a squeal. "Oh, lordy, please don't stop..." you whisper, breathlessly. I lick your clitoris until it starts to engorge, then I start sucking on it gently. You squeal again, looking down at me, and we lock eyes as I pleasure you with my mouth. "I've never... No-one's... Oh, my god..." you say, seeming a little overwhelmed. I push a finger into you gently and you gasp, your breath hitching a little. "Please, please don't stop, or I'll explode," you say to me, eyes practically begging. I feel you open up and I push another finger into you, fingering you for a few moments before I turn my fingers upward, find your G-spot and massage it gently with both fingers. You hit the back of your head on the pillow repeatedly, then lie back and whisper "What... What are you doing to me??". It barely takes a minute and you're panting. I build up pressure on your G-spot, licking and sucking your clit with more enthusiasm. You start to roll your hips involuntarily, which I take as a sign that you're close, so I up the pressure a little more, watching you closely for signs I'm overdoing it - but you just squirm on the bed, eyes closed, rubbing your cheek against your arm and gasping. You seem to be trying to say something, but you're clearly too overwhelmed to manage to get your thoughts into some cohesive form. I feel you tighten around my fingers and your body shudders. Your legs tremble gently and you arch your back. "Ohhh... Oh my... My lord... OOOOH! OOOOH FUCK!" I smile. I know you're not big on profanity, so I take this as a very good sign. Moments later, you're smiling down at me, panting. You look at me with such affection that I think you're going to propose to me for a moment, but then you say "No one's ever done that to me before. Please tell me we can do that again sometimes, it was amazing". I smile up at you. "Only all the time, gorgeous. But now, it's my turn." I pull your legs up either side of your head and penetrate you gently. You immediately squeal out in pain, screwing up your eyes. I pull out. "I... I haven't... It's been a long time..." you say. I stroke your hair and push a finger gently into your wetness. You let out a sigh, and I finger you gently, slipping in another finger, then after a while, I feel you open enough that I can slip in a third. "You're extremely tight, gorgeous," I say. You look embarrassed. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie. I'm sorry I hurt you." "I... I kinda liked it..." you say. I look at you and let out an involuntary growl. My fingers come out of you and my dick goes in. You bite your lip and squeak again. "Tell me how you feel," I say. "It hurts a little... But I like it... Please, don't stop..." you reply. You

My primary focus is on improving myself, my life, and my finances as I need my own business(es) going to get the fuck off SSI. I like to go out and do things.    Not just sex.  Like really, to all the men who think offering their random tongue to be used is attractive, it absolutely is not.  Buy some dental dams if you are tongue slut.   My first thought is how many std's do you have!?!?!    You can get them from oral sex and people who are full on adults who think about sex primarily, turn me off.  I understand it from teens to 30's... when you get to 40's or older, you had better have a lot more to talk about, think about and exist for you to to talk to me.    I got so bored with my last toy because he was ONLY a walking fucktoy, with paranoid delusions. The mind is a massive playground and you miss out just thinking about actual physical sex.  Lola the Iron Mistress  

I’ve been looking at what fills my messages lately—and I have questions. Too many hollow approaches. No restraint. No awareness. No sense of tone. Just presence without purpose. And I don’t believe that happens in isolation. So I’ll ask it directly— What are you cultivating? Because the men arriving in my space reflect the environments they’ve been allowed to exist in. If they lack restraint, if they lack discipline, if they don’t understand how to approach with intention… that didn’t come from nowhere. That was permitted. Reinforced. Played with. And I’m not interested in inheriting the result of that. There’s a difference between engaging and indulging. If you that line long enough, you create men who don’t know how to regulate themselves. Who think access is casual. Who mistake attention for acceptance. And then they arrive… unrefined. I find that disappointing. Because the standard, for me, has always been clear. The men—and women—who serve me operate at a different level. There is restraint. There is awareness. There is composure. I don’t lower myself to meet chaos. And I don’t invest in weakness. So this is a challenge as much as it is a statement— Be honest about what you’re building. Be intentional about what you encourage. Because what you allow will always show up somewhere. And right now… it’s showing up in my messages. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

18 July 2023 Not posted anything for a while, i did step back from logging into a couple sites i am listed on to see if i could walk away from lifestyle and carry on in vanila life.Simple answer NO i CAN'T. its must be so deep within me and my blood, i think it would be impossible to walk away and try and forget what and who i am. So i am back to searching for an Owner. i have talked to a few Doms in last few weeks, but not being taken as yet, who knows maybe one fo these will or others come along - i hope and need to be taken owned as total slave property 247 (i know might not be possible for "live in 247, but at least knowing being owned 247 as used on demand) by someone one Dom or Domme or Dom/me Couple. The Dom/me Couple i sometimes serve have requested i attend them, from this coming Friday 20th July until the Monday, They are having a BBQ with a number of guests some lifestyle and some not. They often call for me to attend when having such as the female They have cant cover all that is needed when Guests are there. i never know exactly what will be required until i arrive, same with being clothed , in what and how and if in shackles etc. See if i can post some new pictures once over, as normally They will take some of me in service. NEWJust had a double Dydoe piercing done a couple days ago , have 2 x 10g 12mm long curved barbells in with 6mm balls will put a picture up soon, have to say it bled some when the needle went in, but no discomfort at all and seems to be healing up fast. Not sure whether will be a good thing for potential Owner or not . Well now back see if can post more as did in the past, see how it goes.Satrt my search for an Owner in earnest now fingers and everything else crossed  

Catfishing is just catfishing plain and simple. If you put up younger images of yourself and then you scroll to the end and see the fit goth is now santa claus your emotions are a little defeated by the fact that the person you were sexually attracted to was the middle of the three stages of man but now looks like the last stage. Frustrating. I have updated my profile several times and I have not noticed a hidious delay in approval but I can't speak for others and their tech issues. When I exchange my images with other hopeful kinksters I am pretty sure I would get an ear full if the images I was sending was 10 to 15 years out of date.  I even make a point the image was taken a week ago.  The oldest image I have exchange was a month old. Just because your a man does not give you privileges to play the catfishing game. Luckily only had a brief discussion and did not hook up for drinks or I would have ordered the rum to process the catfish experience.

When fantasy meets reality, some men find themselves lost in the space between what they imagine and what truly exists. In a world filled with movies, games, social media, and idealized images, it becomes easy to mistake fantasy for attainable truth. They may chase unrealistic versions of women, power, or status, forgetting that real life is imperfect, complex, and grounded in responsibility. When the line between fantasy and reality fades , disappointment, frustration, and confusion often follow. Learning to see life as it is—not as we wish it to be—takes maturity and self-awareness. True strength lies in facing reality head-on, appreciating genuine experiences over illusions, and building a life that is real, not imagined. Men...you need to do better.       

          Good Morning 🍒 Male submissives are beautiful and desirable creatures, and it is absolutely tragic when they do not know their own desirability because they are forcibly taught, not just by mainstream society but by the BDSM community, that they are not desirable, that they can not possibly be objaspects of desire I am not dominant because I hate men, but because I love and desire men enough to want to own them. I cherish and appreciate submissive men for their beautiful masculinity. Submissive men just gets the pussy juices flowing for me. Their yielding excites me in a primal way. Their desire to please, to be pursued, to be attractive for me, the object of my fierce and hungry gaze, is what pushes my buttons. I certainly respect people who are wired differently. I just won't date them.

I am not looking for casual, short term or long distance anything.  If that's you move along With you an an experienced Slave or Submissive on a daily basis ( not solely a play bottom for the bedroom = no thanks) who lives in London/Essex/Kent. Don't bother if you are more than 2 hours from those locations. 

So many uneducated to kink, fantisizing boys out there. Apparently they hover like lost gohsts waiting for their versions of heaven. They have no clue how to actually meet a Domme. Time wasters, taking up space trying to fill in their cookie-cutter cartoon figure of the leather clad evil queen who will not make any trouble after they are satiated. Huummm, wow, thats a ProDomme, Not one of us everyday, living the lifestyle women.  A  fairly insightful post on the FetLife site. A suggested read fo all subs. https://fetlife.com/whytheydanced/posts/12285859 . Also look up 2KinkyWomen.com poscast. Episodes 12,42,44. The other podcasts are good for overall education. Good luck to you all. Read the profiles a couple of times. Actually live close enough to drive to Me. Otherwise, do not even bother wasting both of our time.  H  

Messy Little Piggy  Had the best time today rolling around in the bath in piss and custard. Oinking as I poured it all over my head, down over my snout and finishing by rubbing it all over my tits and pussy. Piggy piss play and sploshing, yum, my favourite. What food do you like to wallow and oink in?

The mystery of living a life of divine love with harmonious relationships, getting total support and joy within a loving family is surrender. Jesus Christ has said to keep the peace so much as it depends on you. There are many who look for social approval and it takes their focus away from having harmonious relationships. They instead care too much about the opinions of others or what others have said regarding a person and not getting to know them on their own, personally. Having bonds within communities is a good thing as we are all truly brothers and sisters of one another. Look out for the interests of others and not to your own only. Look at your brothers and sisters wherever in the world they may be. Are they in need of anything? If you are abundant and possess something they need that you can spare then don't hold back, give. Not everything is about money either. Lend an ear, lend a shoulder to cry upon, write those letters, offer a hug, cook a meal for someone. When you give you receive. It is written. Only please do not sound a trumpet before you for the deeds you are doing for a brother or sister. No one needs to know, just you, God, and your brother or sister that you helped. And if you cannot give, I say to you pray. The prayers prayed in faith will heal a person even a nation. Will you be caught standing strong in love for God and others? Jesus Christ's homecoming is closer than we may think. Will you be ready?

I Don’t Know Where My Poppa Is: A Little Girl’s Song, An Adult Woman’s Pain   "Food & Liquor" by Lupe Fiasco has always hit different for me, but tonight, "He Say She Say" felt like it was speaking straight to my soul. "You see what his problem is He don’t know where his poppa is…" It’s one of those songs where the lyrics carry everything. No extra words needed from me. Just sitting here feeling it deeply—for the child in the story, for the mom trying her best, and how it translates to me as an adult woman with a little girl inside who never went away. Navigating a world where my core family of origin is my biggest enemy and the men I’ve tried to vet and sift through—the ones I hoped would be the real poppa—never came. It left both the adult me and little me saying the same thing: "I don’t know where my poppa is." "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" As you read the lyrics and listen to the song, imagine that this is what us women go through—what I go through: "Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" This lyric is repeated twice—once from the mom's perspective, saying "When my momma try to provide and I tell her that ain't your job," and once from the son's perspective, saying "When I try to provide and he tells her that ain't your job." For me, the adult me and the little girl—Little Jess—are saying this simultaneously, in one body, clearly, over and over. It’s deep. Like the Lupe Fiasco song I wrote about previously, "The Coolest," the dangers and the stories are all there. And yet, I can’t help but wonder—if men really evaluated what this is like when they pretend to step up and then leave horrendously, do they truly understand what this does? Not just to the adult woman they let down, but to the little girl inside, who they treated as a kind of Pied Piper, leading her into heartbreak. Lupe, thank you for songs like this. "I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me She said to him, "I want you to be a father He's your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and he's starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you he's a starver" "Starting to use red markers on his work His teacher say they know he's much smarter but he's hurt Used to hand his homework in first Like he was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know she see us Now he's fighting in class Got a note last week that say he might not pass Ask me if his daddy was sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick him up" "You see what his problem is He don't know where his poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "He's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since he was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that He don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when I try to provide And he say, 'Mommy, that ain't your job'" To be a man, I try to make him understand That I'm his number one fan But it's like he born from the stands You know the world is out to get him So why don't you give him a chance?" I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me So he said to him, "I want you to be a father I'm your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and I'm starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you I'm a starver" "Starting to use red markers on my work My teacher say they know I'm much smarter but I'm hurt I used to hand my homework in first Like I was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know he see us Now I'm fighting in class Got a note last week that say I might not pass Kids ask me if my daddy is sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick me up" "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" "To be a man, she try to make me understand That she my number one fan But it's like you born from the stands You know the world is out to get me Why don't you give me a chance?" It's like, I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave" Have you ever connected deeply with a song like this—one that feels like it speaks to both your pain and your strength at the same time? If so, which one, and why?

wanting more He stole my heart he took my submission to the next level he knows just what to say and the tone to match the way his hand wraps around my throat leaving me begging for more here we go all over again begging to be in your presence i need you to guide me i know im not the easiest to be around or talking to because i seem to put walls up leaving you to break them down you have left me wet and squirming everytime i hear your voice this is the hardest thing to do is keep my composer i love you and for ever will your in my dreams your name being mentioned has me fighting against how you make me feel what have you done your like a drug i cant say no to your hands around my throat at least once when we are together

Imagine a wedding chapel and the room is filled with men and women we know. You're wearing a handsome Groom suit or wedding dress Then the doors open and you see me. Im in a see through sissy slutty bride outfit with a veil over my face. You can clearly see my fresh nipples are clamped with tiny bells or weights.     Im wearing a see through skirt with my dick locked up in a chastity cage or a cock ring leash. In my pussy is a white dildo to match my attire as I try to walk down the lane to you.   Once we meet you take off my veil to see my dressed up face.    The pastor asks you if I am taken as your slutty sissy and will torture and pleasure me until you no longer desire me.    The pastor then asks me is I the bride will promise to pleasure my master and be his sissy doll and slut until I am no longer usable and I say I do.   Once its done we exchange rings. You uncage me and put it on my small cock. While I put your ring in my mouth and use my skills to put it on your cock.    The pastor then announces is master and slut. Then says the slut may now suck his masters cock. I then suck it until you pop in my mouth and I swallow it in pleasure.   You then take me by force, remove the dildo from my pussy and fuck my pussy in front of everyone as they watch it pleasure.   You then let out a big one in my pussy for everyone to see and I open my pussy with your special sauce dripping out as everyone takes photos and I suck your cock in pleasure.   During the reception we dance, eat, drink, engage in sensual games, and you even let the other guests have their way with me if they desire.   Then it ends with the 🎂, but its me with whip cream on all my parts. All the men and ladies take out their cocks and spray me with their cream to help me look better as you enjoy seeing me like this.    Then we end with a group photo with me holding up 2 peace ✌️ signs on my hand, covered from top to bottom with the wedding cake cream, and you doing whatever you want to me.   My ideal wedding as a bride. 👰‍♀ 

The vow of a slave:   I met her in the shadow’s call, A Mistress strong, unyielding, tall. Bound by fate, though not by choice, A forced path, a silenced voice.   At first, I raged, defied, denied, Met steel with fire, stood in pride. Yet every lash, each measured word, Cut through walls I'd never heard.   Then one night, through softened eyes, I saw her break, I heard her cries. Not steel nor whip, but fragile pain, A soul beneath the cold domain.   I made her laugh, I found the key, A bond unshackled—yet bound was me. Not by chains nor cruel demand, But by the touch of knowing hands.   She spoke of honor, of my name, That my defeat would bring her shame. A slave to her, but not to fear, She made my purpose crystal clear.   No loss allowed, no second place, For I was hers—a pure embrace. With every strike, with every fight, I bore her will, I claimed my right.   And so I swore, through time unkind, She holds my heart, she owns my mind. Not just in flesh, but in my soul, For she had shaped me, made me whole.

Unknown I felt His finger touch my face. I wanted to tilt toward it, to nuzzle and feel more of Him, but He pulled away quickly. I resisted the urge to twist my head to see if I could feel Him still close, my focus soon turned to the sounds on my right. I could hear paper rustling and then a loud, metallic clank, followed by the sound of a lighter. The ensuing heat told me he'd started a fire in the fireplace and I squirmed a bit, hopefully not enough he could see. I had no idea what his intentions were but now things were getting hotter. I twitched when I felt him again. He was behind me, his hands guiding me to stand, and I did so nervously. Still no words, but I could feel him against my backside. I wanted to wriggle closer, I wanted so desperately to "know" him in more than just the words on a screen. I felt his breath on the edge of my ear and a soft whisper, "kathi, open your shirt, undo your bra and free those tits for Me." I gasped at the sound of his voice. It was just a whisper so I still really didn't know what he sounded like. His voice was so soft, barely audible, but I was intent on obeying. As my hands started to undo my buttons, he gently turned me so that the fireplace was no longer on my right, but behind me. And I felt that heat as he moved away. I swallowed hard wondering what he intended, wondering if I'd lost all commonsense. Yet, I still did as he said, my muscles in my cunt clenching without my conscious effort. My breathing deepened, and I could feel the slight sheen of sweat on my body as the heat continued to grow. My hands fell to my sides, my breasts exposed to him. I remembered him looking at the pictures I'd sent him and I wondered if the pictures held up to the real things. I heard him now in front of me, he'd been watching me reveal myself to him. The front of my body felt almost as warm as the backside was getting though it wasn't from the fireplace. His hands touched me again, this time, longer, cupping my face, sliding down my neck, slowly, sliding under my bra straps and blouse that still covered my shoulders, and running down my arms, the clothing fell away. He moved his hands to my heavy breasts, his fingers toying with my nipples that grew harder at his touch. They grew taut and pulled, I bit my bottom lip to keep from moaning, to keep from squirming. I still had no idea what his face looked like. I wondered if he approved, I wondered if he were smiling. His palms rubbed over my pale, soft skin of my breasts, cupping them, holding them. He pulled on a nipple, squeezed and tugged with one hand, his other hand still caressing the other breast. No words, just his hands, his fingers tracing the curves of my breasts and alternating with pinches and twists. He moved away and I broke from the trance his touch had created. I swallowed hard again and tried to gather my thoughts, tried to think of something other than my cunt. I didn't know this man, yet it didn't matter. I could hear the good angel telling me to be wary, the sound of the throbbing deep inside me blocking out her voice. I felt the rope begin to wrap around one breast, his hands back and caressing, guiding the rope tightly around one, the squeezing growing as the shape of my breast changed to be more round, more orb-like. It stood out, my nipple hardening to a point, then the other breast being wrapped. I could feel the sweat from the heat on my back running down my back now. I thought I could almost feel my wetness from my cunt meeting it, but I was still wearing my skirt, so perhaps that wasn't true. I couldn't tell. My heart was pounding, my clit was throbbing and I nothing but his toy at that moment. My breasts throbbed as the blood was forced into the constricted confines, his hands rubbing over them almost as though he were fascinated with how they looked. Then they were gone. I startled, the trance again broken but his hands were on my shoulders now, gently pressing me downward. I resumed the position I'd been in when he walked in, only now the fireplace was behind me. I heard the zipper on his pants and I knew what was next. I hoped I was right… He rubbed his cock against my face, and this time he let me nuzzle him. I got to feel him along my cheek, my lips. Somehow I knew that hands weren't permitted this time, just my mouth. He was giving me that chance to know him, to feel him, and I wasn't going to lose any time. His precum moistened my lips as I kissed and caressed his cap with my lips. I turned my head and ran my mouth along his hard shaft, my tongue delicately brushing over his skin, my own caresses mimicking those he'd given my breasts. The tip of my nose nuzzled under him as my lips explored his balls. Back to his cap, I parted my lips slightly and he pushed forward, my mouth opening wider to accommodate him, he began thrusting forward, slowly at first each forward movement going a bit deeper each time. His hands went to my hair and he pressed my face into him, he held me there and I inhaled his scent as I tried to breathe. When he had finished, when I had swallowed and licked him clean, his hand brushed against my cheek, then he helped me back to my feet. I rocked unsteadily and he drew close and kissed my lips, his tongue running over them, letting my tongue meet his for just a moment, then he pulled away. He slowly unwrapped the rope on my breasts, his fingers caressing again, easing the pain as the engorged orbs slowly turned back to the way they were before his arrival. Then, feeling him close again, he whispered… "next time…"

I understand that this may sound bizarre to some folks, but I have an idea regarding the slow turnaround time for getting a profile updated here: only update your profile when you're considering taking a break from the site. Check your profile: what age does it list you as? If you haven't joined within the past year, it's probably not your current age. Rather than requesting a birthdate, CollarSpace asks us for our age. To keep an accurate profile, we'd have to edit it once a year. If you're taking a break anyway, maybe adjust your age to one year into the future - or however long your breaks from this site usually take - so that it has a chance of being accurate upon your return. Look at your photos: do you still look like that? Has your hair, body shape, or anything else changed at all? Before putting your profile on hiatus, consider updating your photos to be current. What about your location? Have you moved? Are you planning to move? Why not update that as well? Will your profile be perfectly accurate upon your return? Maybe, maybe not. Will it be much more accurate than it would be if you left it alone? Almost certainly, and you wouldn't have had to get grumpy about the wait. 

Here is my boundary regarding pictures.   I don't share photos on kink sites, period. My job puts me smack in the middle of the public, and they don't need to know the amount of information made possible on these sites. My alternative is to meet sooner rather than later, which is also why I say come to a munch I attend and let's see if there is something there. I also ask the person who lives close enough to the Bay Area to participate in a munch and meet for coffee. I bet you are better in person, too. This boundary creates unhappy men who want their way; they want a picture, yet some don't have facial pictures either. I suppose a dick picture is representative of the little brain in action. Some don't like to be told no or are looking for something specific in a woman. This is not my problem; it's theirs!!! I let them hold their problem tight to their needy bosom. I find it entertaining when they lash out and start saying I'm fake this or that. Such fragile egos make them look like an asshats and make me realize I was right not to send or post pictures. I am real. It hurts when I stub a toe or get a papercut. I have expectations, and if you do not like them, we will not work out. If you can see the possibilities by showing up away from the keyboard and coming out in public with other like-minded people, I would enjoy meeting you and starting a friendship. Meeting in person is so much better. 

They say before I knew you were mine, that I already was. That you knew from the start. From the beginning of time. Did you know how stubborn I'd be and how it's hard breaking and building someone being distants away? The ability to turn off submission when I want to do my own thing? As many times as I've sinned against you, I don't deserve you. Yet you stay, you say get back up try again. Even if we go through the same battle a thousand times you may go silent but you never leave. I feel my shame. I feel my guilt. I want to change but darling why is it so hard? I want to give you every good thing I am and know I could be. The potential is there waiting to be awakened into firey motivation and passion. Even if you can't save me, lead me in the way I know I should go so I don't influence others to do the wrong things. Let me be a righteous leader leading with grace and let me be a proper role model to look up too. If you can't save me, can you at least stick around until the end? I like you Jesus. Always have, always will. 

Alot has changed since I first created our profile. What I have noticed over the past year or so since I last checked in is that is still many of the same faces.  People I suspect want the idea, but are too afraid to go for it when it is in front of them. So, what we are looking for also has changed.  I was looking to add to a poly family.  Well that part is done as there are now three of us under one roof. What we since decided is to find someone (female) who desires a complete loss of herself not for sensual BDSM, but for complete enslavement. The person who seek would be looking to disappear from society, and be locked away, perhaps never being allowed to leave our dungeon and your new home. In this role, you will spend many hours in bondage or caged, except when one of us decides we wish to enjoy your flesh for our pleasure.  That pleasure being anything from using you for our sexual gratification, to being tortured just so we can hear you cry or beg for it to be over, to simply clean the floor on hands and knees. Is this what you desire?  Seriously, because many people think it is, but few can really accept that they are offering themselves to a sadist who finds love only in hearing cries and whimpers.  Who favors the sound of leather agaist flesh over sweet 'I love yous'.  Many profiiles will read like this I suspect, yet less actually have experience in doing just that.  So, if you really want to atone for what ever sin you have done (and I could care less what that sin is), then lets talk.  If you want to be used while reminded what a worthless piece of crap you are, then your the woman we seek.

To be a good master in BDSM, consider the following key qualities: byanthonyp16562M Dom To be a good master in BDSM, consider the following key qualities: Respect and Trust: True dominance is built on respect and trust, earned through authenticity and understanding. Responsibility: A good master takes responsibility for their submissive's happiness and satisfaction, putting their needs before their own. Communication: Effective communication is essential; a good master listens to their submissive and guides them into a space where they feel their control and authority. Empathy: Understanding and empathizing with the submissive's needs is crucial for a health

Details of the suckler: This was a girl I met at a bar on the 4th of July. This relationship was about a year and a half long. She was a cute, petite brunette who only weighed 100 lbs. As we started dating, I came to realize how submissive she was by nature and very eager to please me. Our unofficial "dom/sub" relationship included her cooking, doing laundry, preparing my lunch, and other domestic duties. Early on she told me how she really liked sucking my dick, even that she considered herself a "suckler". She didn't have to tell me twice. Blowjobs became more and more frequent. Eating dinner, watching TV, reading, and she might move over to take my cock in her mouth, sucking to her heart's content. When I'd come home, her mouth would be there to greet me. In the car, I'm driving and without a word, she'd unzip my pants and pull my cock out. She’d smile, unbuckle, and use her wet mouth on me. We also explored some light bdsm stuff, blindfolds or me holding her down. She did was she was told and she liked it. I never asked how she wanted to be fucked. Whether I came in her pussy, gave her a facial, in her mouth to swallow, or on her tits, she graciously accepted it.  She was an agreeable slut. This relationship ended when I took a new job, and its the one I regret that didn't work out.

It was way too soon to be sodomized the first time someone tried.  I just couldn't take it.  It hurt so much that I avoided anal sex until I was in my early 50s.  Realizing how many years I wasted being afraid turned me into the eager slut I am now.  It's true.  I can't speak for anyone else but I have heard this happens to a lot of betas.  Anymore when anyone fucks me I lose all sense of manhood and experience a surge of femininity until they finish, sometimes even longer now.  It feels so right but it doesn't last like I want it to.  I'm sure the day is coming when I'll remain a gurl permanently. There are Doms and Dommes here who want submissives like me to feminize and control.  I might be the ideal one to serve you long term and live-in. So, please tell me, how can I serve you?  How do you see me fitting into your household and improving your life?  

  The script was essentially a love story.  The narrator, Heather, describes how she gets revenge after her husband cheats on her.  There's lots of sex and torture going on as any porn movie would have.  My character was simply an innocent girl who was captured and tortured because Heather's character thought I was the one her husband was with.   We'd have these read through sessions which to me were funny because I didn't have any dialogue other than some moaning and screaming.  If you think about it, not everyone has a good scream.  It took some practice.   I met with the makeup girl who handed me a bag of stuff.  What's this? I asked.  It's your costume she said.  I looked inside and there were 20 string bikini bottoms in various colors inside.  I gave her this puzzled look.  She said I know, there's a lot but I had the material and wanted to make them in different colors in case the director wanted it.  I held up a black one and it basically was a couple of triangles and some string.  I tried it on and it looked great.  I was able to pull the strings up high on the sides like I like it.  Can I keep them? I asked.  Of course she said.  I smiled, thanks!  After she styled my hair and did my make up we headed for the set.  There was a lot going on.  Gaffers were busily adjusting cables and lights and the cameraman was setting up.  I could overhear a conversation between the director and the set manager. SM: Ok Heather heads for the dungeon and her and a guard go at it.  Then they talk about torture girl.  Who's torture girl? Jim:  She's that new bondage model from the pool party.   SM:  Oh, ok.  They go to the dungeon where torture girl is tied to the wheel of pain.  They spin her around and interrogate her.  Then they leave her there and go to the bedroom and the guard and the servant girl do it on the bed while she watches.  How do you want to light that? Jim:  I want it as natural as possible.  No floods.  The prop master, the nice man who built all the equipment on set came over to me.  I stood in front of him wearing my bikini bottom.  He looked me up and down.  "Ok you look great.  Are you ready?".  I nodded yes.  He led me to the wheel.  I was instructed to stand inside the wheel spread eagle with my back to a small square pad.  My wrists and ankles were bound to the rim of the wheel and a wide belt was strapped to my belly.  Tight.  A gag was put on me.   PM: It takes about 5 seconds for you to spin around.  Thank goodness you're tall so it should look fantastic.  When the director says action I'll flip the switch.  You'll keep spinning until he says cut.  Got it? I nodded yes.  I looked directly ahead.  I sucked my tummy in as much as I could.  I heard "Action!". I slowly was spun around and around.  I just stared forward trying not to react.  I could see my image in the monitor in the background as the camera slowly panned down from my head to my  toes.  My ribs were showing and my hip bones were sticking out.   Heather stood in front of me and pretended to interrogate me.  I heard  "Cut!". The machine stopped.   Jim: No no this won't work Heather.  You're asking her questions and she's wearing a gag.  It doesn't make sense.  Let's do it again without the gag.  He walked over to me and asked, Are you ok? Do you think you can do it again? I nodded yes and smiled.   My gag was removed and the scene was reshot.  After it ended the set erupted in applause.  I was untied and helped to a nearby chair.  The actors on set said I looked awesome and sexy.   Jim:  We can stop here if you want or we can do the rack scene.   Me:  I feel good.  I'd love the rack.   Jim: You see Heather?  Those muscle girls were a joke.  What good are all those muscles if you can't take any pain?  Ok everyone, take five and we'll stretch her on the rack.  

February 20, 2024 I've been speaking with Edgingfun23 for a while on FetLife. He came over for his first visit recently. He told me he was interested in getting a deep enema, and I explained that a deep enema takes time and it might not be necessary. So when he first arrived, as I do with all my guys, I met him in the driveway and we came inside. He was dressed straight from work. Usually guys that come for a visit wear jeans and a t-shirt, very relaxed looking. But edgingfun23 had clearly just come from a day of work. I sat back in my easy chair, looked straight into his eyes and simply said, "well… Strip!" I could tell that he was a bit nervous, but he started stripping his clothing off and putting them in the chair next to where he was standing. I just watched intently as he took off each article of business clothing. When he was naked, I just stared at him for a minute and he stood there wondering what would come next. I got up from my chair and went to the couch and grabbed a pair of wrist restraints. His hands were hanging down to his sides, and not recognizing these were wrist restraints, he did not extend his hands. So I grabbed a hand and pulled it out in front of him, putting the velcro restraint on his wrist. And then I put a restraint on the other wrist. Back to the couch I got a dog collar and put around his neck. I stood behind him and reached around playing with his nipples, groping his cock and balls, and tugging a bit on the dog collar. I told him to come to the bathroom where we were going to clean him out. I briefly explain the difference between a deep enema and a light enema. I told him we would start with a light enema but he would have to tell me when the water he was expelling into the toilet was clear. If it cleared up after a few cycles we would be done, if it didn't we might have to switch to a deeper enema. Apparently never having an enema before, he wasn't sure what to do. I told him to get down on all fours on the bathroom floor. When he was in the doggie position I smeared some Vaseline on my finger and slid it up and down the crack of his ass. I filled a small enema bulb with warm water, put some Vaseline on the tip of the tube, and using two of my fingers spread his ass cheeks so I could insert the tip of the enema bulb into his ass. As I squeezed all the water into his ass he didn't make a sound. I told him to stay in that position as I filled the bulb a second time, inserted it and added more water to his bowels. I smacked his ass and told him that I would leave the room to give him some privacy, and that he should take his time and expel the water. When he was done, he was to flush the toilet and as I heard him flush the toilet I would know it was time to come back in for the next round. I left the bathroom and closed the door behind me. It wasn't too long until I heard the toilet flush. I went back in and he was standing as I filled the enema bulb again. I told him to get back down on all fours. Two more bulbs of warm water filled his bowels before I left him to expel again. He learned quickly because the next time I came in the bathroom he was already on all fours. I think we went through four cycles of rinsing him out when I asked him how the water was. He said it was pretty clear. I think we went through one more cycle. I forgot to tell him on the last cycle to make sure he gets as much water out as possible. When we were done in the bathroom I told him we were going to head upstairs. He had previously told me he might need to work on his cock sucking skills so I thought the best place to do that would be upstairs. Although I knew he was extremely interested in the cow milking machine and the fuck bench, I needed my cock sucked first, so we were starting upstairs. We got upstairs and I briefly showed him all of the toys that I keep in the bedroom. Cock cages, ball weights, paddles and whips, and plenty of anal toys. I passed him a tight fitting cloth hood that has eye holes and a mouth hole. I told him to put it on. At first, as he pulled it over his head, I don't think he realized there were eye holes. I told him to pull it a bit forward that there were eye holes and we wanted to center the mouth hole so my cock had access to his mouth. After he made the adjustment to the hood I told him to climb on the bed on all fours. I wanted to check out his ass. I wanted to start playing with his hole immediately. Instinctively his ass rose into the air as his shoulders went down onto the bed. I think he has been in this position before. I grabbed some lube and squirted it on my finger as I rubbed it across his hole. I slipped my finger back and forth over his ass and then pushed a finger inside. Oh my god, it went in easily. I knew his ass was going to get a lot of play today. This was going to be fun. READ THE REST OF THE STORY AT   WWW.SirKel.top

  I read someone elses journal about how their talk turned from discussion to an interrogation.   Ouch!   I must admit I have interrogated a man or two on this site after:   a strange introduction   a strange assumption   or even just by the male being rude and thinking they still had a chance to strike their luck more like a lucky block encounter.   When someone gives you an "ick" feeling you will gear your armour and steer clear.   I do feel for genuine men who really, want a true connection, some of you men need to blame the creeps who introducted themselves before you and left the females with a need to put on their armour.   There are so many scams so many people ready to take whatever they can from people who are vaulnerable and when your willing to confess your sexual sins on a site, you are without a hesistation vaulnerable.  It can take someone, (well me) a bit of time to brush off a bad encounter (at least a good weekend).  I sadly wish I was paranoid but sadly true crime is showing some high numbers and hiding in the shadows seems to be a way of life for some.   On the brighter side for thoose of us that don't hide in either the shadow and come out during the daylight, if you don't make a connection you can sigh relief you did in fact dodge a bullet and honestly when you finally meet someone genuine your better make an effort if they are willing to let you do all the naughty things you like.   I have had a blissful weekend standing up for others in a professional enviornment and being resilient and looking at some new opportunities in another part of the UK.  I feel like Mary Poppins, I go where I am needed most.  If only Mary Poppins was a passionate black women with a sordid collection of rope and crotchless panties.

There have been some changes within our household.  The slave we used to own has had to take a break to deal with several members of her vanilla family that have gotten really sick 3000 miles away. While she held the title of slave, she ended up being more of a sister wife and we've stayed in touch even after her move.  Although not in a D/s sense, we have remained friends. To that, we are back to seeking one who desires to serve, and be of service.  Who craves the reward of praise for a job well done, and is bothered more about her failures then about any punishment she gets for them. To be clear, we are not seeking a girlfriend, or a just a play partner.  This is a life experience for us that goes well beyond play, and regardless of your experience level, our goal is to teach you to serve as we desire, but also to emotionally reward you for that service.

Sub thoughts for a Domme; What pleasure means to me ... as a submissive man, pleasure, to me, is knowing that i am making Her happy, providing a service to or for Her, filling the role that She wishes me to fill, for Her and Her pleasure.   I can do or perform acts that bring me pleasure, but it is empty if She doesn't derive pleasure, happiness, amusement or satisfaction from it. I am always hoping to make Her happy or to provide something useful to or for Her. A disagreement about what type of food to eat, what movie to see, what we are doing for the day .. the bottom line is She will have the final say, the Control to determine those things and to exercise that power when and how She sees fit.   I am happiest knowing that She is happy. To make Her smile or see the approving look in Her face is all the pleasure I need and anything further beyond that is simply icing on the cake.   I think what it means to the exchange between a Domme and Her sub/slave is mentioned in the above, but essentially it means that my pleasure only exists and should only be possible if i am pleasing Her .. it is Her desires and wants that need to be met, and my ability to assist or aid in that brings me great joy and happiness, and is the only thing that really pleases me.   Self-gratification is nice, but hollow and empty as i am not fulfilling the desire and yearning i have to know that i am pleasing Her. I exist for Her pleasure and that is fulfilling.   I look forward to submitting my ego and desires to Her, for Her to guide, shape, influence and control.

So I have a confession. I found someone I'm smitten with here and I still had to leave him with no reply. I realized you have to make hard commands here because so many are trained and untrained by all different variations of superiors. So I'm going to write my must/must not list to help you gauge if we should be communicating at all.  1. Must ask for permission to hold a conversation. I instantly read your profile to see who you believe you are. Not doing this is a pet peeve. It's like being outside and someone just starts talking to you before they ask if you have time to talk.  2. I'm in Atlanta and I frequent Houston because I'll also have a home there soon. I get bored easily so online play is so having someone local or that enjoys travel a lot is preferable. I have a 7 day attention span before im Annoyed with only chit chat so keep that in mind.  3. I am a serial entrepreneur so I don't have time for a 24/7 sub/slave situation. I already have 147 employees, meetings, and projaspects in my vanilla life. The part of my life you live is to allow me to explore my deviance along with worship aspaspects I so enjoy. Everyone needs a little kink but there is a time and place for everything.   4. I rarely play home, I belong to many clubs throughout the U.S. So my favorite types of play dates happen to be dinner drinks and maybe meeting a couple or two if you've been well behaved. I only play with things that belong to me.   5. I enjoy ritual admiration. I believe when you believe in something you will develop rituals to keep it close to your heart. It's the reason we use to pledge our allegiance to the flag or say Grace before we eat. Being able to honor your superior or superiors always makes me happy.  6. I'm not into non thinkers. I Need to be able to hold a conversation with you. I want to enjoy having you and if your stuff like a broom stick I won't be able. Its ok for me to ask how your day was and you give me a real answer not you've been in chastity since 6amim talking about did you speak to family, how was work,  what did you eat? I am a Mistress and a Goddess and a Woman I don't turn any of me off to be the others they are my trinity. I want you to be able to be you in it's entirety for me.  7. So many of you seem like you could be great if you had the right person leading you, but you have to remember to make genuine connections. I'm not interested in training someone I have interest in nurturing. I'm a lover and  unfortunately some times my love hurts a little lol. Sometimes my love demands a little from you but if you believe I'm worth worship you will do what's needed.    8. I'm a 8 life path so I'll leave you with this go listen to "Take me to church" by Hozier and remember me!   Lets have a conversation but remember rule #1 before you message. If you can't follow simple instructions you're wasting my time.

THIS ENTRY HAS BEEN CUT INTO A TINY PIECE AS THE REST IS NOW NO LONGER RELEVANT TO MY CURRENT LIFE SITUATION> 05-06-2026 This is a BDSM site. I know that. It does not mean I have to leave G-d at the door to get in. Someone asked how I can reconcile BDSM with religion? I feel that religion is the core start of all surrender and binding. First of the soul and then it manifests outwards through physical acts like fasting and before it was frowned upon, self flagellation. There are prostrations and many other 'acts' that deepen that connect to G-d. It has always been there. The rules, the set course to a day, a week, a year. Religion from the outside seems 'staged' and 'performance based'. But those who understand what fasting does or know that routine and rituals have a way of calming the body-mind-heart and thus lead to a joyful spirit, want more of it. That is BDSM too.

== Results from bdsmtest.org: ==100% Degradee100% Masochist100% Rope bunny100% Slave100% Submissive95% Experimentalist94% Voyeur91% Exhibitionist82% Primal (Prey)80% Pet49% Non-monogamist15% Vanilla10% Owner8% Primal (Hunter)0% Daddy/Mommy0% Rigger0% Ageplayer0% Brat0% Brat tamer0% Degrader0% Dominant0% Little0% Master/Mistress0% Sadist Limits only illegal things

Sometimes physical things are not the heaviest things to remove.  Told that just now to a friend who recently lost their mother, and was tasked with cleaning out the house.  Sometimes i say things so deep, that i make myself pause and think. Last night, i was venting to one of the people in my RPG guild in ESO.  He was saying how he just needed reminders about posting stuff on the site and whatnot.  i told him i was done giving him reminders, and he asked why.  That was when a dam i hadn't known was ready to break, burst.  i told him, that if someone really wants to do something, they will do it.  They will do whatever they must, to ensure it happens. i reminded him that he has a wife, and a professional life, and he must be doing well enough to govern himself.  i asked him, who looks after me, who gives me reminders to do things? i reminded him, how i have -no one-.  i have sticky notes all over the place, a phone full of alarms and reminders, because my memory is crap... How is it fair, that i should have to hand-hold grown adults in the guild, to remind them and chase after them to look after their own characters.  Told him i was done, time people sink or swim. Of course, all that has ~nothing~ do to with the Lifestyle or genre on this site... Just another peek though, into my mundane life.    

What I seek, what I need, is for someone to take me and absolutely crush me...break me down completely, physically, mentally, sexually...push my boundaries. Bend me over, take my ass...fuck me hard. Talk to me, tell me how you're owning me, tell me what you're going to do to me. Call me names. So often I see BDSM porn where the "slave/sub" is completely into the "torture"..."oh yes, more master/mistress! More!" and that is so far off-base from what I seek. I shouldn't want it. Ideally, you've broken me to the point where I'm doing it to avoid worse punishment. "If you don't do _____, then _____ will happen." I should be dreading it...crying, begging, pleading for my master/mistress to stop. Begging a master not to cum in me or in my mouth. Begging a mistress to stop before I bleed. The earth shattering orgasm should belong to THEM, not ME.I get messages on here from so many straight masters...who tell me that they're going to branch out and that they're into what I seek. Then they quietly fade away. And the search goes on.

I'm not sure why this surprises anyone but I have had my expenses reimbursed in order to attend a play party or bdsm function.  In order to garner interest in a new dungeon or group the organizers will reach out to an edge player or other lifestyle to attend their party or function.  It happens all the time.  Organizers will advertise this in order to boost ticket sales or entry fees.   An example of this was when I was asked to do a suspended whipping scene at the grand opening of a new dungeon.  They saw me do a session and reached out to me.  They arranged for a place for me to stay, they handled the transportation and entry fees.  All I had to do was show up.   Some times I would ask for equipment modifications beforehand and those would be handled.  Other times I would ask for special lighting or music and that would be taken care of.   Since I don't do sex play I don't consider this sex work.  I consider it an opportunity to perform my fantasy in a new exciting place.  It turns me on that people are willing to do whatever it takes to have a fun and exciting function that includes me!  

Effective and Transparent Communication  In a Poly house, it is crucial to maintain honesty and open communication with the Master and all other members. This practice is not only ethical but also necessary for the smooth functioning of the household. Honesty is the foundation of trust and mutual understanding in any relationship, and in a Poly house, there are more people involved, making it even more vital to be forthright.  Being open and honest sets the tone for the type of relationship you want to have with the Master. It shows that you are invested in the relationship and committed to making it work. By being transparent, the Master gains a better understanding of your needs, expectations, and boundaries. This understanding forms the basis of a deeper and more meaningful relationship.  Creating an environment where everyone can communicate freely without fear of judgment or retribution is crucial. It allows for a more collaborative and inclusive approach to decision-making within the house, fostering a culture of trust and mutual support. While the Master has the final say, it is crucial to hear the thoughts of all members.  Before joining a Poly house, asking questions is essential to understanding the dynamics and ensuring it is the right fit. It is a significant commitment that requires trust and openness, and clarifying expectations and responsibilities minimizes misunderstandings and conflicts.  In conclusion, effective and transparent communication is essential to creating a healthy and stable relationship in a Poly house. It builds trust, fosters collaboration, and creates a culture of mutual support. Honesty and communication should be embraced by all members of a Poly house.

UPDATE: March 3, 2022 We are making our dream a reality. We purchased a nice chunk of acreage in NE AZ near the New Mexico border. The property is riddled with evergreen trees like Juniper and Oak with grass. Yes greenery! Views that seem to go on forever as you can see the skyline in the distance affording beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Adjoining our thousands of acres of state land so no worries about any neighbors there and also gives us a lot more land to play on. We have several trailers loaded with building materials, solar panels, water and septic tanks. Now its just a matter of moving things there and starting to build our Utopian Homestead. Our search for our third to join us is now being ramped up. What a wonderful treat it would be to have her join us and be part of it from the very beginning. Allowing her input on her cabin or room. Took one of the horses with me when I made the trip from Ohio to check the land out before purchasing it. I cannot even begin to share the incredible feeling inside as we traversed the property for two days. Checking out all the nook and crannies. Kicking up antelope and even a couple Mule Deer along with the many Jack Rabbits. Exhilaration filled my heart and mind as I enjoyed the beauty of reality as dreams are being fulfilled

It has been a long day, of chores, serving and some punishments finally I am at my official last task . My last task is to wait on master, kneeling by his bedside until he finally sleeping soundly before I can retreat to the quarter.    A slave can only sleep after the master's sleep and must rise up earlier than the master to wait on him.    Finally, when the master is sound asleep, I did the routine bow (careful with every actions because I am always watched by the CCTV) before retreating to the quarter right beside the master's bedroom.    Master has partitioned a small room barely the size of 3m by 1m right beside his room as a slave quarter. The furnishing only comprise of a bed, few hangers for the uniforms, and a small side table. It does not have any window (afterall slaves don't deserves such), and is ventilated by a 2 small ventilation fans on the wall. The lighting is only a few light bulbs which is create alot of heat when it is switched on.  My bed is actually a thin mattress lining in it, with a hard elevated pillow. Master designed the bed this way as a reminder to of my lowly status. Once in the quarter, though my official duties are finished, I am still required to perform my basic slave admin duties before turning in. I have a strict routine to follow, failure which will add to my huge pool of punishment debt which I have already owed master.    Sidetrack: Soiling of uniform is an extremely grave crime. Despite, slave is not allowed to clean the uniform until the end of the work day, which is after the master sleeps.    Changing uniforms Once in the quarters, I am is allowed to change to the regular uniform.    I swiftly, yet with demurely unbotton and remove the blazer, next the inner vest, and finally the bow tie and the blouse... And most notably, out of the heels.    Finally feel some breathing air the moment I undressed out of the formal uniform- it was so tight and restrictive, and always sweating under the many layers. And finally freed ever painful super high heels.    Image of the undressing process:       KandMcouple