I've been in the lifestyle since my early 20's.  I am my area MAsT group leader.  I use to be very active in the NYC area bdsm scene, have atended many events through the years about north eastern USA.   I do not do play, and am not a bedroom submissive. I am a slave all of the time, in my daily life. I am not submissive to everyone, I have owned and run my own business, been a boss to many people in my jobs through the years. The world does not know I am slave, nor do they need to know such, I simply am who I am all the time. I can not turn myself on and off. I live life to the fullest that I am cabable of doing. I serve with my heart and bering, in all I do, yes, even when I am sans a master. Would it not be dishonorable, dishonest and disloyal for me to be on this site and be owned or collared and not have such stated in my profile as well as have checked that I am actively seeking a dominant male? I believe it would be.  If I were owned, collared, in a relation, or even simply focusing on someone at the time, I would state such perfectly clearly in my profile for all to see.  I am here seriously seeking someone, this is not a game to me.  Read my profile please, then consider contacting me.  First impressions mean a whole lot.

Since updating profiles takes so long, I will do journals instead. I could have died last week.  I spent 5 days in the hospital and the doctors told me if I hadn't gone in as quickly as I did, it would have been a lot worse.  Maybe too late.  It gave me a lot of time to think and a lot to think about.  It really brought home that I am 66 years old, and people my age die all the time and that life expectancy for men in the USA is only 72.  Of course there are a lot of factors that go into that and that is an average of all male babies born, and when I factored in all my personal info it came out to 95 years.  And I take good care of myself and eat mostly the right foods and watch my weight.  Still, this last week made me truly think about my own mortality and that for all that I don't think of myself as old, shit happens.  And the older you get, the more likely it is to happen. So I thought a lot about what I truly wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I have already achieved a lot of my goals.  Nice house.  White picket fence, well it's red brick wall, but still counts.  My kids are grown and independent.  I have friends, hobbies, plenty to keep me busy.  My retirement is funded and I can live comfortable for well past those 95 years.  The real question is what do I want to do with those years.  And being a slave isn't it.  Well it is, but not all of it.  I want to live those years.  Travel, go to events, experience.  And I don't want to do it alone. I want to do it with you.  I just don't know who you are yet.  I know you are wickedly smart, have an engaging sense of humor and value integrity as much as I do.  Trust has to be 100 percent in both directions.  99.99 percent isn't good enough.  And you have to be a total perv.  I mean make the average perv blush.  And yes, of course with informed, consenting adults only.  I'm perverted, not evil. You should enjoy geekery.  An old girlfriend used to call me the elder geek.  I was a geek before it became pop culture.  You should have ambition.  I am not a sugar daddy.  Though if you are still on your way up, continuing your education or just starting your career or business, I can shoulder the load until you can hold your own. I acomplished more before my 27th birthday than most people do in a lifetime.  I deserve the best.  At least the best for me, and I won't settle for less.  And I seek a woman who also seeks the best for herself and won't settle for less.  Remember the first Rocky movie?  Rockie talking to Paulie about himself and Adrian? “She's got gaps, I've got gaps, together we fill gaps.” Let's fill each other's gaps.  No match is perfect. Every relationship requires work for all involved.  Both to build and to maintain.  I'm willing to put in the time and energy if you are.  

Thank you for all who have congratulated Goddess Tabitha and I on our wedding! Im getting the same questions over and over so Im going to summerize the events of the day here. Was this a BDSM wedding? Not really. The members of our BDSM group all met at Master Geoffery and slave Tammy's home for the ceremony. Master Geoffery actually became a minister in the Universal Life Church so that he could preform our special dayThe food was a potluck. I know what you're thinking but the feast was amazing! Master Richard and slave Wendy brought 6oz lobster tails and Master Thomas and slave Gina brought Ribeyes. There was so much food they only cooked half of the ribeyes as half of a ribeye added to the lobster tails made a huge meal and that doesn't include the clam chowder or the shrimp coctails. If I hadn't been wearing a corsett I would have burst from eating all of that great food.Speaking of my corsett. I wore a white underbust corsett with garter straps and white stockings. I found this absolutly adorable pair of white lace stilettos at JJ's house online. ADORABLE! Goddess Tabitha whispered into my ear during our first dance that aftrer the wedding was over she was claiming my heels as hers LOL She did too!The veil. I found the cutest veils at Davids bridal. Did you know that they have a create your own veil option? I bought one off the rack, but if you're creative you can run wild.We wrote our own vows. Mine were the standard love honor and obey bridal vows adding an oath to my complete submission and obedience for as long as I live. Goddess Tabitha omitted the obedience part and added an oath of Dominance and protection for as long as she lives.I gave her a 1ct solitare from Jarred and she gave me a simple gold band with the word slave inscribed inside. Then she suprised us all by giving me new nipple rings as well. It was so cute!I wasn't wearing my ankle or wrist cuffs but I did have a white leather collar on and it was also new and fit my outfit perfectly.No whips and chains although some of the Doms gave me a seious love pat or two on my ass as we danced lolLastly, for the guys who keep asking, no I wasn't allowed panties and my breasts were bare as it was an undercup corsett. I don't know why the men find that to be such a need to know thingIt was the best day of my life! Oh, again foir the guys, there was NO bdsm play on our wedding night. Just went to bed with the goal of making love as many times as we could.Best day of my entire life!

A Soldier Transformed: In the shadowed depths, a fear resides, Of losing control to the darkness inside. Memories of battles, cold and stark, Of a soldier's heart, hardened and dark.   The echoes of war, they still remain, Haunting thoughts that cause you pain. Afraid to slip back into that abyss, To lose your grip, to once again dismiss.   But remember, dear soul, you've come so far, You've journeyed through the wounds and scars. Strength now lies in the light you hold, A beacon of hope, a story untold.   Embrace the fears, let them fade away, For in the present, a new path may sway. Your heart can thaw, your spirit mend, No longer a soldier, but a soul to tend.   So fear not the darkness, embrace the light, For within you burns a flame so bright. You're not just a soldier, you're a man reborn, With a heart that beats, not hardened or worn.

Goodness I blocked two guys before breakfast today. I want a slave near me who drives so we can go enjoy munch evenings together and fetish clubs too. Cinema and meals out. Because I am a Dominant Woman that is "usual" for me. I want someone easy on the eye so no older than 40 and single.   Not too much of a list I thought. But as many women everywhere comment on here, guys are not reading profiles= I copy/paste replies to avoid the monotony.    1. First guy was living in Germany 1 hour away he said. The point is he doesn't live near me in the UK. I lead so it was no. Pushy got him blocked.   2. Guy was 65 so I declined as late nights bring.on the moans from older guys= it's late/music is so loud etc. Not my thing so MY choice is the guy is a certain age bracket. Guy us pushy gets blocked.   They need to put NOTE to self Google what Woman Led Relationship is=the Woman Leads=ME.  3. The late entry to be blocked. Another free ProDomme seeker who doesn't accept a FLR is ME the Woman leads. Period. Accept that or get blocked. Simple.    

I'm not sure if this tells anyone anything other than that I occastionally take quizes online, but ...  == Results from bdsmtest dot org ==  97% Dominant  95% Degrader  95% Master/Mistress  90% Sadist  82% Owner  80% Daddy/Mommy  79% Non-monogamist  66% Primal (Hunter)  59% Brat tamer  53% Rigger  50% Switch  46% Experimentalist  37% Ageplayer  31% Boy/Girl  30% Pet  28% Vanilla  23% Brat  22% Degradee  21% Primal (Prey)  16% Submissive  15% Voyeur  10% Exhibitionist  9% Rope bunny  7% Masochist  4% Slave 

I've been asked a lot about being poly and I thought I'd make a note here about it. I am polyamorous. I believe in multiple loves, multiple relationships, communication, trust and respect for everyone involved. I currently have my own submissive whom I've been with for 7 years and a vanilla boyfriend I've been with for two. They both live with me. They date seperately and neither of them expects to be included in my exploits (IE we DON'T DO threesomes)  We practice a "kitchen table" type polyamory where we have this cozy, happy little household where everyone gets along with everyone else. We often invite our partners and dates over for little wrestling parties (we're all huge WWE and AEW fans) and Cards Against Humanity.  I love being poly. I have so much to give.  If you have any questions and would like me answer them here in my journal please feel free to write me.  your girl joy

A record of a night out, recalled by the lady, written by me. Dinner. My phone warbled, from the tone I knew it was a text from Steve. ‘Blue’ was all it said. It was an instruction on what colour of underwear I was to wear tonight. That my lover had been thinking of what I should wear closest to the most intimate parts of me made an interesting diversion from a dull meeting and I took a moment to enjoy the prospect of what tonight held. 5pm arrived and I was out of the building like a sprinter, trailing my suit bag and case behind me! He had booked me into the beauticians for 5.30 and it was a cab ride away, luckily the station was only around the corner and a taxi was waiting in the rank. Leaning to the passenger window I breathlessly asked ‘The beauticians on Marchmont St as fast as you can please’. I jumped in the back and we took off as if he knew why I was in a hurry! On arrival I gave the Cabbie a £20 note and ran in through the black shop doors. The receptionist said ‘Ms Canning? booked in by Mr Mitchell?’ Yes I replied and was introduced to a middle aged lady who led me downstairs. Sitting in a consultation area she asked me a few questions that gave me some insight into what Steve had planned for this evening. I was going to be waxed, a Hollywood plus my legs, all my nails were to be done, a full facial and my hair was going to be worn ‘up’. My makeup was also going to be done, and a massage had been booked. I was going to be collected at 7.15 so time was tight. First I was waxed, it had been done before however this time all the hair was to be removed, including from my armpits, I was told to strip, and put on a dressing gown. I lay back on the white padded table, placed my lower legs in the cradles and tried not to seem embarrassed though the blotches on my throat gave my true feelings away away. As I had been booked in by a man they must have realised why I was there. I loved being Steve’s submissive however I still felt embarrassed if I thought people knew. Once she had started removing the faint traces of hair two women joined her and my finger and toenails were filed and prepared. They were finished before I had to turn over and kneel on all fours; they gently held my buttocks apart as she removed all vestiges of hair from around my anus. Once my eyebrows had been plucked I put on the dressing gown on and was taken to a large wet room and advised to shower quickly, but not to rub the waxed areas. It was heaven; the supply of toiletries was superb! I was quick, but called before I wanted to finish, trailing the dressing gown chord I went to the masseuse, Twenty minutes later I felt like a million dollars! She also applied the after wax solution to prevent in growing hair occurring. By now my mons was super smooth, and felt very sensitive.  Then back into the shower, a quick wash off to remove the oil and then I was dried in a hot air chamber! Marvellous sensations of being caressed by a powerful jet of warm air blowing up from the floor! I parted my thighs just more than was needed to feel its effect on all my bare skin! I thought this a luxury until I was surprised by being told I was having a spray tan applied to turn my skin the gentle tinge of honey gold that he loved. I blushed internally when the beautician informed me she had been told it had to be even, and all over. The private section of the beauty salon was the venue for my hair, make up, nails and I sat there nearly naked as people fussed around me. The facial was followed by the make up artist who asked what colour dress I was going to wear, dark blue I replied. By 6.45 I was being ushered into a dressing room where my bags had already been placed. I rolled the dark, seamed fitted stockings up my legs, the suspender belt had the proper metal clips so it was a simple job to fix them. The dark blue silky thong slid neatly between my buttocks. The bra was designed to give a little more cleavage than it needed to. Finally I slid the panties up my thighs. Steve sometimes expected me to wear them over a thong; he delighted in taking my panties off twice and knew I did not find a thong too comfortable to wear. It was part of why he made me wear one. My shoes were high and black patent leather with wide ankle straps. The dress was close fitting across the top, plunge necked almost to my bra and the slinky material fell from my waist to just above my knees. It had been slightly lined, so my elaborate underwear was not obvious. The shop called a taxi and I met Steve in the hotel foyer. Dressed in his DJ he was noticeable by his height but that was all that attracted attention. However I caught every male eye in the room. I crossed and embraced him as I always did if I knew what was good for me! It was a routine I had always felt embarrassed about, today it was more so as I was being watched by so many people. He murmured ‘You look absolutely stunning’. ‘Let’s get dinner out of the way, the clients wowed and committed to the project and you and I too our room.’ I stopped pressing myself against him as he finished speaking. Dinner was a fairly lively affair, if a little difficult due to the 3 different languages. It seemed the Japanese chap to my right could only communicate by looking into my cleavage. As I was the only woman I had no competition and wished I had! However as he was the senior partner in the firm placing the order I tried to show some interest and smiled until my jaw ached. By 10 it was done, a few good byes, an open ended expense account at a lap dancing club was organised and the rest of the party set off into the warm night air. Steve led me by the arm to the lift. His hand rested on my waist as the door shut, it was trailing across by bottom as the door closed. By the time it opened again the people in front of us would not have known his hand had been up my skirt and caressing my bottom and the length of my slit the whole way from the foyer to the 25th floor. By now my tummy had the light feeling that always presaged our time alone. I did not know whether I was to be spanked or made to pleasure him, the feeling in my tummy didn’t care. The room was large, the bed huge, it had a sitting area and a large desk. It was stylishly lit by wall lamps and just warm enough. The view out over London was amazing. He emptied his pockets onto the desk and removed his jacket. ‘Come here’ was a simple statement. It never failed to make my throat feel tighter. ‘Remove my tie’ was the next thing he said. I ran my fingertips over his neck and kissed where his shirt collar had been. He quickly spun me around so I faced a mirror, his arms encircled my waist and he whispered int

New year and new beginnings   After becoming active in March, it’s been a slow gradual progress getting back into the scene. I was weary at first due to the past weighing me down and the current situation I was in at the time. Reflecting back to where I was, to where I am now, I've come a long way and ebbing forward in becoming comfortable in my own skin and who I am.   It's been a massive change from no social life to meeting so many Brilliant kinky minded people, I find what was easy for me to interact with people with self-confidence was gone a long time ago, however big thank you to the people that have given me advice and self-belief,(even if I was kicking and screaming) to carry on and not to be discouraged about social situations or setbacks in the things that I do. So, a big thank you to all from me, for helping on my pervy journey.   What do I think back on 2023? Well, my plans and ambition has changed after moving and starting again. From dudgeon hire and Airbnb to just letting things come and go as they will, due to this I've gained so much freedom. Not being tied down finically and mentally that I'm now traveling a lot more than 15 years ago. Finding out and planning to attend old/new munches, clubs, workshops. Planning ahead for meets with people that I met along the way. Working on play Scenes and finally relearning my skills as a practitioner that I thought I lost all so long ago.   You don’t tend to realize, what was taken for granted can be lost or thought lost, I thought so for a long time, still do at times but it's the willingness to draw a line in the sand with yourself, to make a new start in thinking, to carry on consistently in what you're doing and where you're going, that what was lost is just misplaced.   I restarted this journey on my own and now joined with people on their own paths, it can be scary and daunting at times, it can also be exciting and rewarding but there is now one thing constant that I'm thankful for, I'm not on my own on this path anymore and I'm grateful for the close connections people have made with me.   So, taking a step back, what have I achieved? Establishing myself back in NW scene. That was my goal last year, but I've achieved so much more without realizing it. Creating a scene and doming in public display. New techniques in sensory and impact play. I am more proficient with the Violet wand and regaining my self-confidence as a dominant in styles of role play. I've been asked to mentor and accepted; it is a responsibility I take seriously and has helped me retread old ground with my own training from over 20 years ago. And last, somehow (I'm thanking the gods and certain people wile typing this) in the winter after taking up residence at club lash, I'm now Dudgeon Monitoring, I will always feel more comfortable working. It’s helped immensely to quickly orientate myself back as a semi professional in-house dominant and I'm honestly grateful this has happened.   Moving forwards to 2024 I have a firmer grasp of myself and what I am able to do now and what I want to do in the future. There are some projaspects in the works from group activities to self-improvement, some long term other short, but all kink related as I reacquaint myself back more into the lifestyle   My path may have been slow and gradual, but I've come a long way, and can look back knowing I'm on the right path. I still have a long way to go and don’t know if this path will end as new avenues open in 2024, but for now be mindful, live in the present, take stock, give thanks and appreciation in what you have. To stay humble, to stay hungry for the knowledge and opportunities that have been given to you and to always appreciate those meaningful connections that people give you.   2023 thank you   2024 I'm ready... more than i will ever be and I'm looking forward to what comes further down the road

I have had a few people get annoyed or mad at my personality so I am posting this Here are some thing I am just going to address (These are paraphrased)   "Wow you say your a sub but you dont act submissive at all #notarealsub" Yes I am submissive, my personality is cold/distant and I get most people are not ok with that. I am not going to just go "UwU master pwease let me submit 2 ur budlgie wulgie" cause that is not my personality at all. If I vibe well with someone then ya I am ok with concenting to have them dominant me by forcing me to submit.   "You dont seem interested in talking to me" Ya I am not interested in talking to anyone and on top of that I try and respond in as little words as possible. I am will chat but I am not a social person so I will come off as such.   "your personality is trash and you should act more cute" No if someone isnt cool with how I am then I wont be changing. (Of course I do change things but only unhealthy things not my standard personality)   "You should change how you dress and look more feminine" Nope, I will dress how ever I please and wont be changing that ever.   "Why wont you meet me" I dont really like being around people so it is rare when I do meet anyone.   "You sholdnt say you dont like kissing or being close to someone" I really really hate the feeling of being close or intamte with someone so sorry not happening   "You should meet me I am a good person" If you have to say you are a good person then I say that is a red flag

Voice Verification Unfortunately, there are many males here pretending to be females. So, before I invest more time with a 'female' at initial contact, I require at least a voice verification. In its next message to Me, either offer Me its phone number or request mine, slave. To elaborate a bit, I really do not care if My slave property is male or female. I do not care if the prospective "female" is actually a male that has made contact with Me. I understand how a slave could be so lost in its desire to feel the control of a Dominant that its imagination could take to the point of deception. To Me, that just means the prospective slave property is deeper in its need to serve than most. The best thing would be for any pretender to confess and seek atonement at the outset of the process of becoming My total slave property.

Let’s skip the small talk. I’m a Dominant woman — not your fantasy vending machine, not a fetish dispenser, and definitely not here to be topped from the bottom. I know exactly what I want. The question is… do you? I’m looking for a submissive man. Long-term potential only — someone who’s obedient but not weak, emotionally grounded, and genuinely turned on by service and surrender. If your submission is just a fetish, don’t waste my time. But if you crave structure, purpose, and the kind of dominance that hits deeper than kink, we might be aligned.   I expect maturity, respect, and the ability to follow instructions without making it about your wants. I’m not a roleplayer, I’m not soft, and I’m not new — so come correct. What I want from a submissive: daily or regular communication, task-following, consistency, obedience, and genuine desire to serve. Not just in the bedroom, but in mindset and behavior. You need to know how to be useful, present, and respectful. Disrespect, pushiness, or laziness gets blocked immediately.   I’m not into subs who want a Domme they can control. If you’re serious, real, and understand that submission is a privilege — not a right — then approach properly. Otherwise, keep scrolling. I’m not here for weak energy or half-assed effort. Want to serve? Show me why I should let you.

"So into you" or why ob- ject -ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is The subject today will be centered around ob- ject -ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. And that is the message. In song after song. "I saw you, I had a feeling, I have a want, I am thinking about you, I am having lots of thoughts about you, I'm having a fantacy about you, I'm deciding that the fantacy is a true representation of who you are, so now I'm building hopes, and I'm building expectations, and now I'm going to approach you , and you should share all my fantacies and fullfil the hopes and expecations rather than view me as some total stranger who's making weird sexual demands." (We won't even START discussing murder ballads. That came up recently too...) That is the message young guys get when they are first thinking about asking girls on a date. That this is how it happens. That this is normal. So when they do it, they are shocked and confused by the girl's reaction. Then again, young girls get this too, so plenty of times when a guy is inappropriate, before they've learned to be afraid of guys and their reaction to rejection, they belive they are supposed to be flattered that a guy is paying attention to them. Even if she doesn't like him, having a guy want you is important, a measure of your value as a woman. So rather than seeing a red flag for later, more aggressive poor behavior, they see it through the lens of "romance." They feel pretty and special and don't recognize healthy behavior when they see it elsewhere because this is how it happens, and what is normal. It's right up there with "he must like you if he punched you" in grade school turning into "he didnt mean it, you know he loves you" later when he beats her bloody later in life. Hell, I literally had this just yesterday. "Hello beautiful, I’ve always wanted to meet you , I love that hair , your so beautiful, I’m in (my town) until Jan 30th Love spoil you and finally get to actually meet you , I only been dreaming for years to do some sissy sessions with you " Never read a single line of my profile in all those "years." So he literally only knows that I have a nice picture. I point that out. (It's a thing for me...you may have noticed.) He responds "I know I need proper training but I know you can teach me !" Because of course, that would be my goal - to spend time and a lot of energy giving someone what they want when they couldn't spend 5 minutes reading my profile. I point out that he STILL hasn't read it, or addressed my reply, and that it was kind of insulting.  He pushed on, though - "We can go get coffee or meet at a munch or anything your up for , I’m only here to next Sunday , but after we meet and greet , I know you would always enjoy my company"  Because obviously, women enjoy men who they feel have insulted them. Especially when it's the BDSM equivalent of a one night stand.  Yes, I blocked him. He obviously wasn't going to catch a clue, even when smacked with a clue-by-four, so there was no point letting him keep messaging me until he got nasty.  He told me I was beautiful, so it automatically followed in his mind that I would immediately want to be alone, up close and personal, providing him his desired gratification, in a session with him, a total stranger, on the first meeting. And that his idea of "spoil" would be the same as mine. Or "proper training." He belived knew me, what I'd want, what I enjoy from my company, etc, without having to read a word I wrote, because he'd looked at my picture and had a feeling and built a fantasy and then expecations. And that who I was beyond my face (and hair) didn't matter.  Because I was not a person to him.  I was an object he desired... a fetish vending machine into which he felt he had put the appropriate coinage - a compliment on my looks. And he wasn't going to be desueded from that with reality or actual human interaction.  This is the world women live in. This is what "The Male Gaze" actually means. If we are attractive, we have value, but not humanity. If we are not attractive, we have no value, and are dehumanized.  You'd think men who want to be Dominated would behave at least slightly different, show at least surface respect to a Dominant Woman, but on average, they don't. And yet, right now, in several groups, there are guys going on about how hard it is to find a Mistress, by guys with the same empty profiles and dick pic avatars and tons of 'do me' groups. The same complaints, the same confusion, the same helplessness and yet the same refusal to make the efforts that would make it possible for a Dominant Woman to want to interact with them.  They are standing helplessly... hoping... being driven crazy... not understanding why we aren't "getting into" them.

This site has been a part of my life since 2009.  I have grown and went through many life changes.  My Husband is My Master. We rarely go into Master/slave mode but when we do its what we need.  I realize real serious bdsm is a lifestyle not play and Him and I are far from vanilla. We are deeply spiritual and energy aware so even if we are not practicing what most view as bdsm we have a deep dynamic.  We have been hit with many things over the years . There is always wave for every person. Ours seemed giantic lol but we are together.  I was owned by a Master for ten years in the past. I can see clearly now so many things about that time in my life. There are regrets but we cant go back. It was never meant to be something I could have as a real life in all ways. I wish I would of known myself more but it led to what I was suppose to find. It taught me many things. There were times I thought that It was not safe and I never trusted. I wish I could talk to him but I dont think that will ever happen. I understand why. I really think He thought I was something that I never was . The mind web was so layered I will never know. I rarely wonder anymore because I know I will never get answers.  So I am here...I am just here . I have a few friends here and there that log in. 

Hello to the beautiful souls in this lifestyle  i've been away from this site awhile, i seem to have developed, in more ways than one !  Especially my lovely budding breasts i now have growing on me, i accept i am submissive, trans, or sissy if you like.  Two women decided to have me sign up for gender reassignemnt, and now i am pre op and on hormones, and i so love being me now, a kinky hybrid submissive, the only sad thing is, i'm not owned.  boo !  The two ladies moved on after they knew there was no going back for me. Now i'm seeking an Owner who would love to carry on making me be the way i am meant to be, serving them.  i would embrace TPE and accept being a slave too, no say, no control.  i jsut nered to meet that person who'd love doing such to me.. Don't be shy,,say Hi 

So since I'm starting to look again for someone to bring into my dynamic i've had a few questions and statements as to why I am the way I am. I have PTSD for a few reasons. 1 relates to this lifestyle we arranged a hotel meet when the Mrs was still alive. We met what we thought was one person in a hotel room. It turned out it was an ambush and 2 other men were hiding in the toilet. I was beaten unconcious and they took turns on the wife without lube or protection. Then when I was out and they had finished with her they went to work on me. I was left with internal bleeding, left for dead and issues with my backside shall we say. So if I'm asking for patience or seem to take a step back, it probably has nothing to do with you as I do have flashbacks every now and again. If we do arrange a meet it would be somewhere safe first and there will be safe words and someone around just making sure everything goes ok, they will leave when I feel comfortable. If it ever does go to a 24/7 or prolonged meets, you may notice I do wake up in night terrors, it is to do with the above. I'd ask until I fully wake up just let me come around naturally.

Submission Is a Gift, but to Serve a Dominant Is an Honor   Submission is a very private present – a present of trust and weakness. It is an act taken voluntarily, out of love and the desire to establish a strong bond. However, submission is not the ultimate aim; it is simply the beginning. The real attraction is duty, the chance to be there for a Dominant who has earned such respect.   Service is much more than just compliance.  It’s about knowing, what needs to be done, and what the Dominant wants before even asking for it. A submissive does not just carry out tasks, they present themselves: the mind, the body, and the soul, for the service of their Dominant. This kind of obedience is conscious and intentional.   In response, a Dominant does not treat submission casually. A collar is not just a piece of jewelry; it is a contract. It shows that the submissive has the right to protection, direction, and correction. It proclaims that this is a specific kind of subject—someone who has exhibited dedication, awareness, and fitness to serve.   To serve a Dominant is an achievement as it is not just a right but an accomplishment. It is not given or taken for granted.  The real Dominant always looks for the best and has a close eye on the subordinate. They teach and push them to achieve things they didn’t even know were possible and thus help them become the best version of themselves.    To serve a Dominant means that you are chosen, trusted, and changed. It is about loving devotion and finding happiness in the fact that you are useful, necessary, and wanted.   To those who understand, there is no higher honor.

Her head dipped down as his hard cock almost jumped up to her mouth. She licked her lips as her mouth watered for him. She pushed his cock passed her partly parsed lips letting his cock pop in to her mouth, and then she pressed him deep. Her throat opened for him as she took him all the way down to his base as she swallowed, moving her throat. Her tongue rolling like the river as she pulled him out slowly so she could breathe and then plunged him deeply again. Her body started dripping, she always got so wet when she was taking him deeply. Like her vagina was jealous of the attention. She pulled him out and licked his head, placing a soft sweet kiss in the head of his cock before pressing him in deeply again, her hand slowly finding his balls and the other the base, as she founds the moves that make his body sing and his spirit live. She wants him to gift her with his seed, as she presses him in deep again, his hands found her curls, as he wrapped both his hands on the side of her head. He started moving with her movements fucking her throat, as he pumped hard and rough his cock swelled and then his body tightened filling her, shooting his hot sweet gift deeply down her throat. He slowly let go and leaned back, as she sat up. And cuddled back in to him. He ran his hands down her hair.

Seems there are increasing numbers of Dominants who use hypnotherapy here and even online. At a guess there must be a need for lengthy sessions and properly trained personnel to induce hypnotic suggestion surely?   Maybe i don’t get this method of control or my lack of understanding is the issue but ultimately feel there should be a need to be some kind of formal training to employ such a potentially powerful method of control of a submissive. 

I lead a successful professional life, but my true fulfillment lies in relinquishing control within a dynamic. I crave the purpose and peace that come from serving, embracing structure, discipline, and the sense of belonging that ownership provides. I offer unwavering loyalty, trust, and honest communication to any connection we build.I seek a strong, confident Dominant who thrives in their role as a leader and values devotion and obedience. If you cherish control and commitment, I’m ready to follow your lead and support you fully.

I'I'm going to answer a few questions that perhaps I will not get asked these repeatedly.   When you ask me why Im here, my reply is this:  I get off on extreme time wasting liars. NOT! I'm here to find lifestyle relationships which reflect My wants, needs and desires.  I'm polyamorous, meaning Im looking for more than one relationship, sexual and or otherwise.   Okay, now, for the million dollar answer, what is a cosmic cunt and why did I choose it? Part of me finds this telling that I should be asked to explain.  Pay attention now.... cosmic adjective cos·mic ˈkäz-mik