So here I am, into my 60s. I've been coming to this website for about 10 years and I don't know why but I keep coming back. I stayed away for a while and then recently decided to update some fotos. And lately I've been getting attention from straight men who are interested in having a fag/sub/slave to use for their pleasure.    It's great. I'm 100% gay and have been since I can remember. And I love almost all aspaspects of dominance and submission, but I have always been attracted to dominant heterosexual men who enjoy using a good, reliable cocksucker. I've had ongoing cocksucker relationships with several along the way and it's always been gratifying for me, and I hope for them.   One man required me to keep my mouth on his cock for our entire meeting. He'd watch straight porn in a big easy chair while I sucked him. If he spoke I had to answer him with a mouth full of his cock. He'd let me relax my jaws every once in a while, and then back on I'd go.   There was another who liked to secure my hands behind my back while I sucked. Another who would stop by after drinking a Big Gulp so he could empty his bladder in me. Those were just the most memorable.   I was just there to be a sexual servant, to be used for someone's pleasure. And that's where I get my pleasure. From making men feel taken care of and satisfied. And if a straight man wants me to suck his dick, it's an honor I don't take lightly.

reposting this as I have had several prospaspects ask if I am still looking to collar a slave. The answer is yes but onky one that can function well in a poly leather household. Please read the repost below for more info   Instead of updating the profile and having it be down for months, I am using the journal to note changes.      I have collared a slave and it is serving in My home 24/7/365   I continue to train and develop other slaves that need experience serving, learning protocols, developing pain tolerence or just want to provide pleasure to a Master   I am also looking for a second slave for a poly household. Mine is a Leather Family and I have many friends in the world Leather community. I have a process for evaluating a slave for ownership, if there is interest I can explain further.   The new Dungeon Barn has finally been built. This 3 level dungeon is an all season timber frame barn built on a stone foundation. The interior is being finished and then equipment installed. Completion scheduled for winter 2021.   Summer months We/we reside at our camp. Cothing optional, men only, with a complete dungeon there as well

I came to the conclusion years ago that most men are on this site because they aren't truely honest with themselves.  So they have been on here long term, 1 year 5 years 10 years and more.  Why ?  Because they get comfortable in lying to themselves and eventually lying to others.  I'm not actually talking about dom men.  I'm more talking about sub/slaves.  If your just looking for weekend kink , just say so.  If your never going to move and your shoes are nailed down to the floor, just  put it in your profile or tell people that. If your never going to move but don't mind meeting someone and let her take control of your life , online, phone and meeting in person sometimes. No problem just say so.    The lies will ever get you anywhere. you might come on here in your 40's and next thing you know your in your 50's and beyond and just fooling yourself.  Chasing something you'll never get. What a waste of time and a life.  Do you think working and having some money means anything when your last breath is at hand ?   I promise you that you will look back and see what an actual waste your life was. you take nothing with you in the end , but still, you hold on to your pathitic life and lies.   It is a free man that breaks away from that thought and becomes what he knows in his heart is the right thing to do . It might sound like a contradition or an irony .... someone free enough to be enslaved by someone.  But in reality  it's about following your heart and mind and breaking away from all the " things " in this world.  I know not everyone will understand what I wrote but hopefully you'll re-read it and ask yourself serious questions.  The answers are in yourself as well. 

sacred symphony: where love, lust, and devotion meet i’ve found myself at the crossroads of neurodivergence, spirituality, and kink—a meeting place where dominance isn’t just about power but about the profound and unending interplay of trust, ownership, and devotion. writing about these experiences feels like capturing the essence of an eternal union, where love, lust, and passion merge with spiritual and physical commitment to create a connection that transcends the fleeting and becomes permanent. this isn’t about navigating the surface of dating; it’s about diving into the sacred depths of what it means to fully belong to one another—body, mind, and soul. it’s about exploring devotion as an act of ultimate union, a fusion of spiritual and carnal energies that defy time and space. through my words, i seek to articulate the beauty and power of a connection that isn’t just a relationship but a lifelong symphony of surrender, love, and sacred commitment.  

Sub frenzy isn’t devotion. It’s a full blown psychological house fire and you’re standing in the middle of it, smiling like it’s candlelight. It starts as hunger. Then it becomes need. Then it becomes override everything just don’t lose this. And that’s where it gets dangerous not just for the submissive spiraling, but for anyone holding the other end of that dynamic. Because let’s be very clear If you’re a Dominant and you don’t recognize sub frenzy, you are either inexperienced or you’re part of the problem. Frenzy is loud if you know what to look for. It’s the rushed attachment. The “I’ll do anything” energy way too early. The collapsing boundaries. The constant seeking of approval like oxygen. The way they mold themselves to you before you’ve even proven you’re safe to hold that kind of power. That is not a green light. That is a warning flare. A submissive in frenzy is not in a grounded place to consent cleanly, to negotiate clearly, or to advocate for themselves when something goes wrong. Their “yes” can be soaked in fear of losing you instead of genuine desire. And if you take advantage of that if you push, escalate, or feed off that desperation without slowing them down? That’s not dominance. That’s exploitation with a title. A real D type doesn’t just take control they manage the state of the person they’re engaging with. They watch for the cracks. They check in. They pull things back when the energy gets unstable, even if it would be easier and more gratifying not to. Sometimes the most dominant thing you can do is say, “Stop. Breathe. We’re not moving forward like this.” Because power without responsibility is just dressedup harm. But here’s the part people don’t like to hear: Even with awareness, even with check-ins, even with good intentions sometimes a dynamic still turns toxic. Maybe the submissive stays in frenzy and refuses to ground. Maybe the Dominant starts enjoying the control a little too much and stops caring about impact. Maybe communication breaks down and what started as connection turns into damage. When that happens, you don’t “push through.” You don’t “fix it with more intensity.” You don’t cling harder like that’s going to magically make it healthy. You leave. Yeah leave. I don’t care how good it felt at the start. I don’t care how strong the pull is. I don’t care how rare you think it is. If the dynamic is harming you mentally, emotionally, physically you step out of it like your sanity matters more than the connection. Because it does. Staying in something toxic and calling it devotion is just a slower way to self-destruct. And for the submissives drowning in that frenzy spiral: You are not “failing” by pulling back. You are not “less submissive” for needing stability. You are not weak for choosing yourself over a dynamic that’s eating you alive. And for the Dominants: If someone is unraveling in your hands and your response isn’t to steady them but to tighten your grip? You need to check yourself before you wreck someone. Because this isn’t a game of who can fall the hardest. It’s about who can hold power without turning it into a weapon. Sub frenzy will make you forget that. Grounded connection will remind you. And if you have to choose between being consumed or being whole? You already know the right answer. Even if it hurts like hell to act on it.  

Update! 3/2022 *** I don't bother to respond to "Hi" "How are you" and similar one liners. I get too many to bother. I'm currently open to and - if not actively - perhaps somewhat lazily (as in waiting for one to fall into My lap) seeking a great second male submissive. I'm open to the RIGHT person and situation. I don't check this site frequently though as I'm busy and it's frankly easier for me to wait for mail to accumulate. I have previously been in and enjoy an mFm hinge type triad and I've had 2 live-in submissives in a relationship. One moved / things happened, what can you do? I like to let relationships develop naturally into whatever they are meant to be, so I'm not saying I'm looking for live-in just that it once worked out well and was a dynamic that suited Me / us. Now, WAIT WAIT WAIT - Don't start writing yet.  In the interest of full disclosure - I already have a collared boy. (Who is NOT bisexual so, there will be no forced bi in my household). He's just not going anywhere. SO! You must be poly or open to exploring poly. I am not the jealous type and I expect that to be true of you as well. If that's not going to work for you and you're looking for long term monogamy - I am NOT the Lady for you. YOU MUST BE: LOCAL or WILLING TO RELOCATE. Sometimes it can work if you're able to travel frequently, and air travel obviously shrinks distances, so this isn't a 'hard limit' ;) ATTRACTIVE & FIT (as in, no stranger to the gym, you know what olympic lifting is, and maybe you even like the occasional crossfit workout. You appreciate words like 'vascularity' and 'striations' and you know how to make a mean protein shake. Brainy AND Brawny - we can figure out the fetish connection and likes/dislikes IF we actually connect on any other level. I don't JUST want to beat the snot out of you, I want to like you, find you intriguing, engaging and attractive...and THEN beat the snot out of you. Just kidding...mostly.  POLY or OPEN to the IDEA of being poly.  You are a stable, rational adult who just happens to crave more than a vanilla relationship can give you...but you are capable of managing your own life and pursuits...and at the end of the day, you would love to lay all that control at the right Woman's feet.  You HAVE A PICTURE. Let's be honest, this will never work without attraction, so...  Just a HINT - you will do WAY better with Me if you put a little bit of effort into your reply, 'I'm interested' or similar one liners don't exactly endear you to Me. Asking if I'm interested in X when I've clearly stated in My profile that I am (or am not) - grrr. If you're far away you'd better be telling me about your family who lives nearby, plans and ability to visit, or remote work capability - otherwise WHY are you writing from WAY OVER THERE? Tell Me what you're ultimately looking for or have failed to find and what you think you can offer in a relationship to a Woman (that is NOT code for money, you cynic) - what do you see your ideal situation and future looking like - what would make you so content - so happy? What future seems out of reach now but would be just what you would be afraid to hope for if you could have it? Have you ever connected with a Dominant Woman via Kink AND outside that arena?

  A thought    B S and M are the body of BDSM then the D is the breath.  

Here is the deal .  Just because you send Me a picture of yourself does not mean I have to send you Mine.  If I wanted My picture out there I would have it on My profile now wouldn't I ?   If I get to really know you and think that we might be a possibility I have no problem sending , picture, email and phone.    However and until then don't ask for any of that.   Understand I get several messages a day.   Some are ones from another country, some are just looking to " play"  some are only in a fantasy space in their heads, some are married , some have their own place and will never move.  There are many variations and reasons why I don't go farther with somone. But, those are the main ones.   Honesty seems to be quite rare on here.... First be honest with yourself. We aren't looking for someone perfect, loyalty, honesty and long term that is what I am looking for.  That is what I'm used to and like.  And men seriously ... use that little brain of yours. This site is getting more and more scammers of men posing as woman. They say all the "right things" and some of you believe it, then they ask for money. Wake up, it don't work that way. A 29 year old model with a stolen only fans picture is NOT  after you.  he/she/it want's your money thats it.  Don't be stupid and encourage  the scammers .  

I am a good looking guy with that girl's attitude inside. A girl who wants to be dominated by a big man. I dream of being kept weak and skinny. I am a girly girl and more submissive than I can believe! I love to feel that way while helping you feel like a strong man. Very picky and never met with anyone yet. I do get hit on a lot here and sometimes real life but I want to get owned and collared by the right MAN. Not going to meet a bunch of guys. The strong Grizzly bear of a man will have to impress this gurl. Then I will submit to my superior Sir. I love feeling like a weak little cu%t so to speak. I am impotent making it my sensitive little cl%t , making me even more a weak little cu%t So being kept barefoot and knocked up is the path to my heart. I am Submissive ,weak and docile when I want to be and oh do I ever want to be. I am dainty and delicate boosting and caressing your manly ego and balls at my expense. Silly but it's how I feel. You real men run the world so I can stay barefoot and in the kitchen, ready to drop to my knees! Safe from everyone but you. I am quiet and shy in girl mode. Writing this makes me feel so weak and needy. That's just my vibe when we are together.  Proper girls like me believe you are superior! Not looking for overly serious situation. Unless you take away my rights and freedoms? If I got overwhelmed by your manly dominance I might willingly give up my current freedoms to be your slave wife daughter property. Micro manage this girl with your manly power! Brainwash me with your strong intellect making me more obedient and weaker and thinner from skipping dinner. Also pamper me by carrying me from the kitchen to your bed like I'm a weak little girl. Helps keep me weak. Are you still reading? :) I just admitted quite a lot here. I wish more profiles were as clear as this. So besides being femmy, I am smart and kind.     

Weda visits the book store I met Weda at Red Robin. Like, we agreed. She parked in the back. I picked her up. In my truck. And we drove to an adult bookstore. This was on her bucket list of things to do. her Bo was always threatening to do this with her. But I beat him to it. Like with most things he said he was going to do, to her.  As we drove there we chatted and I played with her boobs and rubbed her leg.  I ran my hand between her legs and could feel some of the dampness for the anticipation.  Once we got there. She seemed a bit nervous. I looked over at her and from her smile I knew I did not need to ask if she was ready to go inside.  I grabbed her hand and escorted her in. Standing close to me. We found a booth. One of the bigger booths for Both of us to be able to maneuver around. We got comfortable. I dropped some coins in and clicked on a movie. I unbuttoned her blouse then proceeded to play with her tits. She Pulled out my cock with a huge smile( she has a great smile). She started sucking . There were people knocking on the door, asking to join and trying to get in. I asked her if she wanted company and she said, not this time. Maybe next time. I then enjoyed her mouth as she was doing a fantastic job. After a few minutes I pulled out my cock from her mouth and bent her over.  I enjoyed her wet willing cunt for a while, before pulling it out and rubbin it on her ass hole.  I pumped my cock in and out of her tight wet shaved pussy a few times.  Every few strokes I would pull out and I  would pull it out, And rub it on her tight little asshole. Then back in her pussy, this went for a few minutes.  Fucking her pussy or should i say cunt? I pulled my cock out again. I  rubbed it against her asshole a few more times. Just lubing it up and relaxing it a little as I did this a few more times. She was moaning. I pulled out my cock and put the head against her puckered rosebud.  I started pushing slowly but firm. I pushed until I felt the first ring of resistance give away. The head of my cock was now in her ass.  I let her ass  adjust,  and relax. Pulled it out and back in slowly a few times. My cock started to go in deeper and deeper and then I hit the second ring of resistance. I applied a little bit of pressure and pop I was in!   I was busy, pounding her ass when some asshole picked the lock on the door. And tried to get in.He was peeking in the door. Begging to come in and watch. I asked Weda what she wanted, She said, no. So we kept him and the others outside. And pull the door shut. I continued to  enjoy her. I was fucking her towards the so hard and deep you could hear our bodies slaming together. I came deep in her ass and almost lost my footing since I was fully drained. We relaxed for a few minutes. Watched a bit more of the movie. We walked out hand in hand. There was a group of about seven pervys who had been listening and asking if they could join us in the booth.  A couple of them followed us asking if we were done and leaving, hoping they could get some time with my girl.  I walked her to my truck. Drove her back to her truck. And we both went on our merry way.  with smiles on our faces.   Another bucket list item had been checked off her list.

My Friend sent me this to proof read for his discussion of Slave vs Submissive Women. Enjoy  There are several distinctions and differences between a submissive and a slave. I will take the term submissive first. A submissive is a person with an intense desire to serve that does so under some conditions. The conditions would typically include terms of service, length of service, which areas of the submissives' life the dominant does not get to control, what the hard and soft limits are when they play or just interact, and of course the safe word. In many ways the submissive controls play. Hard limits are activities that a dominant will not be able to indulge with the submissive. Hard limits broken would lead to the end of a scene, relationship or arrangement and a serious breach of trust. Soft limits are limits that can be broken, but only after it has been discussed with the submissive. These are things the submissive is not excited about doing, but will try if it seems to excite the dominant or causes some latent excitement and fear in the submissive as well. The safe word ends all play. The dominant has free reign as long as he or she stays within the set limits. After a scene, many submissives go back to controlling their own lives. They slip in and out of the role of submissive in most cases. They continue to make their own decisions and even in a 24/7 situation will continue to control those areas of their lives that are off limits to the dominant. A submissive submits every time a scene starts or some activity where the dominant has been given control commences. The choice is hers or his every single time the dominant requires submission. A submissive can walk away from a scene because something is not working for them and completely slip out of role whenever they feel the need to discuss something about the situation with their dominant. This does not indicate a lack of the need to submit or serve though. Now we turn to the slave - the consensual slave. The slave gives up all rights to make their own decisions, becomes the "property" of a Master or Mistress, takes on the limits of their Master or Mistress and does what is asked of them regardless of their feelings about it. Sometimes a slave will give up all rights to property of their own and will continue to work for the household, having to ask permission to use any money they earn. Slaves earn privileges and do not have rights. A slave submits once - when the collar is placed around his or her neck and when something is difficult, has to ask for help to accomplish it. Slaves are not kept in basements or locked away forever. They are strong people who have an intense desire to please another human being and now has the freedom to live that desire and not have to submit to anyone else but those chosen by their Master or Mistress. Taking on the limits of another means that slaves have to ensure that the limits of the dominant they are talking to matches theirs, as their only choice is choosing the dominant. It is responsible to make sure that the person does match them or their preferences. Can a slave be sold to another? No, most Masters or Mistresses would never do that. Remember this is consensual slavery, a 24/7 arrangement with one person fully in control and another person obeying all the commands and wishes expressed by the other because both of them want this. There is often a lot of love involved in this type of relationship as well. There are mock slave auctions that are used as fund raisers in the community, and slaves would go and serve another man or woman for the evening, but they always go back to the person they chose to be with. Can a slave end a relationship? Yes, they can petition their dominant for release and no responsible dominant would say no if nothing could be done to heal the relationship. The difference between the two does not make one better than the other. I have seen countless submissives that serve as beautifully and perfectly as some slaves do and prefer not to be called slaves because of the negative connotation to that word. I have also seen many wannabe slaves struggle until they eventually found their place as submissives. It is difficult to devote one's entire life to another person but it is also incredibly rewarding.  

Among the minority within the class of submissives to whom slavehood is a vocation and slavery the ultimate goal, many are happily collared. Many, many more, however, are not. They are still waiting for their One, the master or mistress to whom they can give their lives completely, their submission totally, and their consent unconditionally. Commendable though this patience might be, the waiting can appear more than just a little frustrating at times. What does one do when every fibre of one's being is screaming for submission, while one has not yet found the person to whom such total submission seems right and natural? If you belong in this group, or if you are simply biding your time for any one of many perfectly legitimate reasons, there is in fact something you can do. You can spend the waiting time "preparing" yourself. Note the quotation marks, however. There is a distinction here that is vitally important to make. You are not doing this for "the One to come", you are doing it for you. Why? Because if you do it for "the One to come" you run the very real risk of ending up worshipping an idol of your own creation with which no dominant, no matter how good, stands a snowball's chance in hell of competing. Instead of preparing yourself for "the One to come", consider it improving your own marketability. Most of it is a matter of common sense. You probably already know what dominants generally tend to look for. Some of it you'll have down pat. Ignore that and get the other areas up to specs, then work on improving the whole. 

8-23-2022 Tuesday night.. i took my shower, my daughter was over and left about 10 or 10 30 PM, i had started to feel chilled and for another blanket.. making for 3 blankets i had on top of me! After suffering so long, an hour or two, and developing a fever of 103.6 degrees. i decided i was not waiting until morning, hoping the fever may break overnight. EMS came, one of them ended up being a second cousin!! That was cool to meet a family member. They got me to the hospital s emergency room and i was kept there until 8 AM, i know this because i had to ask if i could get some breakfast while i was in the emergency room. i was diagnosed with an infection in my wound. For those that do not know.. i have two wounds on my back of my right thigh as the result of having lymphedema. The hospital did not say about becoming septic! That has happened, maybe four or more times, in the past. i stayed at the hospital until September 1st when they transferred me to a skilled nursing care facility for further wound care and therapy. i have not been updated with a tentative release date, yet. But it better come soon! my daughter is getting married next month on October 30th!!  Therapy is going very well, they are so happy with my progress. 

"So into you" or why ob- ject -ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is The subject today will be centered around ob- ject -ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. And that is the message. In song after song. "I saw you, I had a feeling, I have a want, I am thinking about you, I am having lots of thoughts about you, I'm having a fantacy about you, I'm deciding that the fantacy is a true representation of who you are, so now I'm building hopes, and I'm building expectations, and now I'm going to approach you , and you should share all my fantacies and fullfil the hopes and expecations rather than view me as some total stranger who's making weird sexual demands." (We won't even START discussing murder ballads. That came up recently too...) That is the message young guys get when they are first thinking about asking girls on a date. That this is how it happens. That this is normal. So when they do it, they are shocked and confused by the girl's reaction. Then again, young girls get this too, so plenty of times when a guy is inappropriate, before they've learned to be afraid of guys and their reaction to rejection, they belive they are supposed to be flattered that a guy is paying attention to them. Even if she doesn't like him, having a guy want you is important, a measure of your value as a woman. So rather than seeing a red flag for later, more aggressive poor behavior, they see it through the lens of "romance." They feel pretty and special and don't recognize healthy behavior when they see it elsewhere because this is how it happens, and what is normal. It's right up there with "he must like you if he punched you" in grade school turning into "he didnt mean it, you know he loves you" later when he beats her bloody later in life. Hell, I literally had this just yesterday. "Hello beautiful, I’ve always wanted to meet you , I love that hair , your so beautiful, I’m in (my town) until Jan 30th Love spoil you and finally get to actually meet you , I only been dreaming for years to do some sissy sessions with you " Never read a single line of my profile in all those "years." So he literally only knows that I have a nice picture. I point that out. (It's a thing for me...you may have noticed.) He responds "I know I need proper training but I know you can teach me !" Because of course, that would be my goal - to spend time and a lot of energy giving someone what they want when they couldn't spend 5 minutes reading my profile. I point out that he STILL hasn't read it, or addressed my reply, and that it was kind of insulting.  He pushed on, though - "We can go get coffee or meet at a munch or anything your up for , I’m only here to next Sunday , but after we meet and greet , I know you would always enjoy my company"  Because obviously, women enjoy men who they feel have insulted them. Especially when it's the BDSM equivalent of a one night stand.  Yes, I blocked him. He obviously wasn't going to catch a clue, even when smacked with a clue-by-four, so there was no point letting him keep messaging me until he got nasty.  He told me I was beautiful, so it automatically followed in his mind that I would immediately want to be alone, up close and personal, providing him his desired gratification, in a session with him, a total stranger, on the first meeting. And that his idea of "spoil" would be the same as mine. Or "proper training." He belived knew me, what I'd want, what I enjoy from my company, etc, without having to read a word I wrote, because he'd looked at my picture and had a feeling and built a fantasy and then expecations. And that who I was beyond my face (and hair) didn't matter.  Because I was not a person to him.  I was an object he desired... a fetish vending machine into which he felt he had put the appropriate coinage - a compliment on my looks. And he wasn't going to be desueded from that with reality or actual human interaction.  This is the world women live in. This is what "The Male Gaze" actually means. If we are attractive, we have value, but not humanity. If we are not attractive, we have no value, and are dehumanized.  You'd think men who want to be Dominated would behave at least slightly different, show at least surface respect to a Dominant Woman, but on average, they don't. And yet, right now, in several groups, there are guys going on about how hard it is to find a Mistress, by guys with the same empty profiles and dick pic avatars and tons of 'do me' groups. The same complaints, the same confusion, the same helplessness and yet the same refusal to make the efforts that would make it possible for a Dominant Woman to want to interact with them.  They are standing helplessly... hoping... being driven crazy... not understanding why we aren't "getting into" them.

Its been a year since I discovered nu-metal. It's spoken to me like no other type of music has...Like as if...I was missing something in my life. My thoughts Is interpreted through the amplifyed speakers. Then, the YouTube algorithm brought KORN in the mix and just went absolutely crunk nutty.   

Life doesn’t give you breaks. The echoing silence of the house after work is a painful reminder of the voids that have been created in the past few years. James's memories are still fresh, like an unfinished story that replays in my mind every time I find a moment of quiet. The vibrant life he introduced me to, our moments of intimacy in the world of BDSM, and the painful void of his loss due to COVID. But this year, just when I thought I was gathering myself up, learning to stand again, another wave hit. Dad's gone. It's been four agonizing weeks since his heart failed him, and my world crumbled, yet again. Coming home, I see mom trying to cope, trying to smile for me, but her eyes betray the pain. As much as she leans on me, I lean on her. Between the bustle of the law firm, my weekend beauty appointments, and the humdrum of daily chores, it's these stolen quiet moments with mom that have become my solace. We share memories, of dad's quirks, of his love for spicy food, of the times he'd dance with me on old Bollywood numbers. this city feels so different without James and now, without dad's laughter ringing through the corridors of our house. The weekends are a . Between the shopping, the laundry, and the cooking, there's this constant underlying grief that seems to tag along. Sometimes, during my beautician shifts, I wonder what's next for me? Would I find love again? Or perhaps another purpose? My heart feels so brittle, afraid to hope, afraid to dream. Yet, with every sun that sets, there's a hope for a new dawn, a new beginning. I believe James and dad would want me to find happiness, to thrive, to make them proud. And so, I promise myself to take each day as it comes, to find little moments of joy and to cherish the love that I've been so lucky to experience.

Let me be honest for a second… I don’t love submissive men because they’re “easy.” I love them because they know their place—and watching a grown man compete for the privilege of doing what I say? That’s my kind of entertainment. See, submissive men are like my personal comedy show and stress relief all in one. Need something? They’re already halfway out the door. Want attention? They’re hanging on my every word. I say “jump” and suddenly I’m getting a TED Talk on vertical efficiency. And don’t get it twisted—this isn’t charity work. I don’t “take care” of subs. I use them. For amusement. For service. For that sweet, sweet satisfaction of watching a man melt just because I smiled his way. So yeah… I love submissive men. They make life fun, they keep me entertained, and best of all? They never forget who the star of the show is. (Hint: it’s me.)

My profile text as of 15 yerars ago. It was much too long.   I am a submissive TV with small bones for a male, a slim waist line and slender, fine features - very full brown hair down to shoulder length (as you can see) - very passable and used to living in female clothes - quite fit and great endurance, but below average brute-strength abilities for genetic male. I am generally submissive to those I admire, respect and/or fear, and eager to please them - have also been told repeatedly throughout life that I am abnormally humble and gentle for a genetic male. I'm quite adept at various stereotypically feminine pursuits such as cooking, sewing, house cleaning, laundry, ironing, clothes maintenance and gardening. I have some experience (though not abundant) serving life-style/non-pro Dommes and Dom/me couples, though not for longer than a week at a time. Acknowledging that the specific individuals are more important than the particular concept, I could see myself as open to and being happy in a number of possibilities, depending upon the details:   - a more mild monogamous long-term relationship with a dominant woman. It would probably be best, if You leaned toward the sensual domme end of the spectrum.- full-time enslavement to a Domme or lesbian dominant couple: Although I would hopefully provide You with the basic emotional and domestic support that You seek in a long-term TPE relationship, I recognize that You may have cravings for a manly man (or men!), and would try my best not to show the jealousy I would no doubt feel to some extent, should You decide to satisfy these cravings.   Regardless of the particular concept, it would be desirable, if You were enthusiastic about strict feminization and enforced chastity of the trans submissive.A situation involving old-school domesticity and self-sufficiency will be a distinct plus, and, in this case, I will be quite happy to carry the domestic bulk of that burden in the relationship; I just don't want to serve someone who'll insist that I buy processed packaged foods only, for instance.     Thank You for Your time!  

I have, in the past 6 months, been messaged by 2 different men who had something about raceplay in either their messages or in their profiles.  Allow me to be perfectly clear: any racial slur, race play, homophobic slur, misogyny, or domination from any aspect of supposed genetic superiority is a limit.  I grew up having various slurs directed towards myself, family, and friends and they are a quick way to have me block you. I mean the following in an honest and non judgemental way: if you have those desires, I would encourage you to look into your personal history and see why you have those desires or urges and honestly discuss them with a licensed professional.  It is often a product of internalized hatred towards yourself or others through no fault of your own.  Talking with a professional will help you to a much happier place where you can feel more comfortable with yourself and others. BUT, do not send me messages with any form of racial, transphobic, homophobic, or misogynistic slur in them.  It will lead to me immediately blocking you and reporting the message.  Having anything about race in your profile (other than your own) will result in a short message and me blocking you.  You are only harming yourself and it's a hard limit for me.  Consider this your one and only warning.

Looking for a untraditional submissive/slave   Im looking for:   Someone who was born a female   Someone who enjoys pleasing   Someone that has and can communicate their desires   Someone that has "little" tendencies but also is secure when I have to handle work   Someone that does not have limitations to your body, because my Dominance is feed by being the catalyst to your extreme satisfaction and a desire to control it.   Someone must be very detailed when taking care of their hygiene   Someone must enjoy receiving and giving oral   Someone thats open to having a physical as well as emotional relationship   Someone that will try to put insecurities down and be free to be with someone that will protect and care for your heart and your body    Someone thats honest with themself and me, I will be your solace Are you or can you grown to this?                

Well Used... This week has been a combination of failure and success. Not much to do when on your cycle, but did still plug a couple of days during that. Open to possible options in how to be of showing submission during that time. Of course bj's are in the table. Sometimes, however, that's not desired by my owner. On the upside, there was being fucked senseless while plugged. And the last 24 hours has been very good. One round if being eaten out and fingered. Three rounds of being woken up for sex. He seems pleased that I always seem ready to go even being woken up in the middle of the night. On to week three!

I seek someone that is looking for more than kink, is ok with a poly household. Someone who seeks to develop a deeper emotional relationship. This has the possibility of becoming a 24/7 TPE M/s Dynamic over time if we are compatible. I seek a non-smoking slave. It is a hard limit of mine. If you are a smoker and have a deep desire to stop, we can talk about how that could happen. Talking about limits, I want to first know what your hard limits are. You must know mine. Because what you won’t do is just as or more important than what you want to do. If you have a hard limit that is something I require to be fulfilled in this dynamic then we will not be compatible. Just as if you need something to be fulfilled in this dynamic that is listed as my hard limit. If we agree on the hard limits the rest is icing on the cake. I prefer someone local to the Hampton Roads community but my local search has not gone well over the years. Therefore, I have not closed the door on those who are not local to the Hampton Roads area. If you contact me and are not local you only have one chance to make a good first impression and catch my interest. Also be prepared to make a zoom call and make a drive to just have a vanilla meeting at least once or twice to see if there is a connection. I do not seek a live in slave at this time. If you are not local you will still need to find your own place if we find we are compatible. Your fantasy of completely naked service 24/7 is not going to happen here. The qualities I seek in a s-type are honesty, trustworthy, loyalty, respectful, patience, dependability, smart, has high integrity, morals and values that match my own, consistent, organized, knows the value of being on time, and a good communicator. I prefer masculine men who choose to serve me because they want to relinquish their power to someone they admire and trust to lead them, not the beta worm who thinks they are a worthless worm. Nothing is more exciting than a man choosing to kneel at my feet and offering all he is to me to use in the way I desire. I prefer those who value their submission more than those who think they are worthless.  I look for those who take time to take care of themselves as I also watch what I eat and try to maintain myself physically. If you are not quite where you WANT to be and are not opposed to bettering yourself we may still be a match in the beginning. Your effort will determine if the relationship continues. I look for someone who desires to be my ultimate fantasy and will do whatever it takes to achieve that. I need someone who will do whatever needs to be done in the moment to help me accomplish the things I need or want done. Experience is a plus, as is being a masochist, but with desire and the right mindset anything is possible. I usually prefer those a bit younger than myself but I do not close the door to a fit older silver fox either.  (send a picture with your message if you wish to catch my attention faster) IF you are in a relationship with someone else and hiding this side of yourself or cheating, do not bother. I am no ones dirty little secret. I prefer a sub with a bit of experience and understanding in who they are and what it is they seek. I am not opposed to working with someone with less experience if they have the right mindset. If you are really conflicted about your kink, while I respect your desire to try things out, you need to seek some assistance on settling these issues before you message me. I agree each slave is unique and each dynamic is tailored to those particular people. But each dom has things that they like across the board no matter the slave. Every slave has their own set of wants, needs, limits and likes, its all about communication and getting to know each other. I prefer someone comfortable in their sexuality and I look for someone either pansexual or bi-sexual for my own personal fantasies. I seek someone interested in chastity both mental and physical. I like tease and denial. Sexual frustration is a game I want to experience more of. As I said above I love control and alot of it. I also expect complete transparency but I also give transparency.  Some things I might expect from those who are mine while they are are not physically with me: 24-7 location sharing home security camera access bath room use control Alcohol consumpution control Workout/fitness accoutability good morning and good night messages Bedtime schedule if needed Daily pics Asking permission for things you want to do. Clothing chosen for you Telling you what cologne to wear Daily or weekly journal  What elso do would you want to give up control of?     

  ClaimedMy name, Emiko, which means prosperous, beautiful child, has not helped, not a bit. It’s been a bad year. At 23 years old, I got my own place, moved all my stuff and had finally left my parents’ home. This seemed like a big step towards independence, made less scary as my parents were still close by and I would need them less and less. Several months later there was a horrible crash. My parents ripped away instantly. Still, there was my boyfriend of many years who was soon to be my fiancé. He was there for me, helped me through much of the hardest stuff, supported me when I needed it most. Several months later, instead of proposing as was expected, he dumped me and not your nice dinner, its-not-you, blah, blah. No, he dump me by text. Still there was my dog. I had loved this dog from when I was 5 years old. He was always there to take care of me and watch over me even when the world was scary. Several months later, as he was now living in pain, it was time to let him go too but how could I? He was the last person who cared for me. I had to do right by him and let him go peacefully. Yeah, it’s been a bad year.On this particular Saturday morning, as I lay in bed trying to build enough motivation to get out, the feelings of being disconnected, isolated and alienated, of not belonging, were overwhelming. This is something that had been steadily building through the year but was reaching a fever pitch. Sometimes we get so detached from the world around us there's no way for us to reattach ourself. The only hope is for someone to find you who will grab on and pull you back. All my attachment points seem to have disappeared or broken. I was drifting free. I wanted so much for someone to reach out, pull me back and reattach me to this world.My thoughts went back to a harebrained scheme that had been rattling around my head for some time — just give myself to the first person who would have me. It was a fast, simple solution to a problem I did not know how to solve. You’re gonna think this is crazy mostly because it is crazy but that morning, crazy was all I had. This wasn’t the first time I thought about this idea. In fits of fancy, I had even planned it out. It was based on a story I read called ‘Halloween’. The woman in the story had put herself out there for someone to claim and someone claimed her. I bought a nice leather collar which also fit my thigh, a matching 8 foot leather strap you might call a leash but it was really a lead and, just because I wanted my intensions to be clear, I bought a garter that said, ‘CLAIM ME’ in inch and a half capitol letters. Baker Beach, you know, the one with the beautiful view of the Golden Gate Bridge, has a section where clothing is optional. I’d go there, strip down to just those three items, stand there and wait. My body is nothing special. I don’t have a lot of boob or a lot of anything. I’m a tiny asian woman; shocking in San Francisco. People say everyone loves a tiny asian woman. How could anyone resist a freely available, totally naked, tiny asian woman? Well, they all did.It was getting late into the afternoon and would start getting cold soon. My isolation was now complete. I stood there all day, buck naked, offering myself to anyone who would take me and no one had even stop by to ask. Then a man walked towards me. I saw him earlier when he was heading down the beach. He had looked in my direction for some time, then walked passed like everyone else. Now, as he got closer, he looked right at the garter and just smiled.Deep inside me, I was a bit disappointed. Looking back at that moment, my fast thinking said he was older than I want, not built the way I want, not dressed the way I want, and truthfully, not tall like I want. None of that mattered at this point. I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to be connected. I needed to be claimed. “If you want me to stop at anytime, say kangaroo. If you understand what I’m telling you, say banana.” It seemed like every emotion was passing through me at that moment. Fear and longing where the strongest. Longing won out.“Banana”He opened the lock on the collar, dropping the keys, both of them, in his pocket. I was already shaking a bit. He strapped it around my neck, not too tight, and secured it with the lock. He removed the garter then unwound the lead from my waist and clipped it to the collar. There were no thoughts in my head but a certain calm washed over me. “How long have you been standing here?”“All day”“Did you reapply your sunscreen? You’re starting to look a bit red.”“I didn’t.”“Do you have aloe or something like it.”Without thinking through what was about to happen, I said there’s aloe in my bag. He got the aloe, put some in his hands and started to apply it. My mind was racing. I froze. Something like this was obviously gonna happen if things went to plan but I had never really played the fantasy out this far so this came as a bit of a shock. He started with my legs. He was not shy, taking his time, being thorough but not gratuitously lingering. He went all the way to the top but didn’t explicitly touch my pussy just brushing it to get the whole leg. I realized my pussy was tingly, all of me was, and that I was probably really wet. He did my arms, my face and neck, my back including my hips and ass. He continued to be thorough but not gratuitous and that did not change when he did my front starting at the shoulders, then to the top of my chest then to my tits, my belly and then put his hand above my mons and went right down between my legs. I got a little dizzy. This random man who I’ve known for 7 minutes just locked a collar around my neck, applied lotion to my entire naked body and I was just tingling with delight. He asked me if I was comfortable coming to his place downtown; he’d order a car. I said yes; I said yes? but also mentioned my place was walking distance from here and we could go there. He said great. I told him the address. He handed me my bag and started walking with a solid gr on the lead. I followed not even thinking about the fact that I was being lead down the s

6/15 Mum is doing okay, not terrific.  Sleep therapy is going so so and My nights are interrupted, though the Dr. seems pleased.  After a day of good sleep, Mum seems more alert, mindful and able to complete more simple tasks.  I'm convinced that she has had sleep apnea for the better part of 30 years.  For the past 20 years, I've discovered a severe lack of follow through by her medical team and I would love to find an attorney who wants to spend the next 10 years on a medical suit.  I've got the proof of medical negligence and am following the proper steps to making legal changes to law regarding diagnosis.  Sleep tests should be standard exams given every 5 years for NO reason at all except to make sure we dont' have a bunch of zombies walking around after 65. Dementia is on the rise and much has to do with sleep deprivation and a lack of restorative sleep.  Note:  If you are not sleeping 6 hours or more, better get a sleep test cause you may not feel it now, but later on you will feel nothing but CONFUSION.  Also,  looks like gingivitis is another contriubuting factor which can come into play for Alzheimer's disease. We, Mum and I, are navigating as usual.  I'm very stressed, and tired, and learning how to manage through different therapies and self care.  She is lovely as usual, most times.  Life has a way of moving forward and together we strive. * On the sub/slave front -  we have had successes and oh so many hearty disappontments, so much dropped communication.  For some reason, most men seem to have a hard time realizing if they are not here, I have little time to spend in communication with them over the phone.  Oh well.  The ones who stay the course, WIN - We win. Again, I've tightened up the reigns on My searches: Phone chat through Microsoft Teams or Google Chat, at night, pre-arranged day/weeks in advance. I'm seeking those who wish to be part of a ds family, permanently with a woman who is HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD.  We start at ground zero and build from there, regardless of where you are starting from.     I'm not abusive or a fantasist.  I am also not going to force you into doing anything for Me and Mine. Anyone serving Me is doing so because they want what I have and what I offer.  This means you OFFER yourself up to Me and beg to be of service and to be utilized as I see fit.   As for what I am looking for:  people who carry health insurance.  lol  No locking you away on My property indefinately unless I get security clearance and immunity from a higher authority.  I mean it.  Don't come to Me looking for prison.  You stay because you know I have what you need and you help to PROTECT ME.  Period. Slavery is not legal here and My livlihood is on the line.  All these fantasists who claim, "I'm a real slave or want to be, eating from a bowl on the floor, naked, shackled, beaten for the slightest offense". BE GONE!  I don't have time or desire for your bullshit.  We might have a night or two of , let's play doggy, but the rest of the time, I want PEOPLE, who want to be of REAL VALUE TO ME. Be real, be genuine, be sincere and be looking for a life time of service where each of us continues to explore and develop our respective roles and responsibilities. As a dominant woman, I am always on the lookout for like minds to share this journey.  I appreciate honesty to a fault, manners, and kindness.   Hello to all and best wishes.

Be who you are—fully, unapologetically, without hesitation. Not the version shaped by expectation. Not the version softened to be accepted. But the one that exists underneath all of that—clear, aligned, and undeniable. Let what no longer fits you… fall away. All the expectations that were never yours.All the identities you outgrew.All the roles you kept playing out of habit, not truth. Release them. Allow everything that isn’t aligned with you to dissipate naturally—without force, without resistance. What’s meant for you doesn’t need to be held together artificially. Free yourself from what no longer exists. And then… build again. With intention. With clarity. With honesty about who you are and what you need. If matriarchy is your path—walk it with confidence.If servitude is your language—speak it without shame.If structure, devotion, power, or surrender call to you—answer fully. There is nothing wrong with becoming who you were meant to be. The only mistake is refusing to. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

Good evening you beautiful, wicked, sharp eyed deviants. I’m writing about this in case some of you have not yet heard about this disgusting behavior, because silence is where predators thrive. A major investigation has exposed what many are calling an “online rape academy” hidden forums, chat groups, and websites where men allegedly trade advice on how to drug, assault, film, and violate their own partners while they sleep or are unconscious. Let that sink in. Not strangers in alleys. Not monsters in masks. Husbands. Boyfriends. Men sharing beds, homes, and trust. These spaces reportedly included users swapping tactics, selling so called “sleeping liquids,” sharing videos of abuse, and even livestreaming assaults for paying viewers. It is predatory, calculated, and evil using internet anonymity. Let me be crystal clear for those in kink and BDSM spacesthis is not BDSM. This is not dominance. This is not edgy play. BDSM and kink are built on a foundation of consent, negotiation, trust, communication, boundaries, and mutual respect. Without consent, it is not kinkit is abuse. And with some of the disgusting, vile profiles I have personally come across on FetLife, I am sure some people with those same mindsets are here too. Please be careful. Vet people thoroughly. Trust actions over words. Listen to your instincts. No scene, no dynamic, no amount of charm is worth your safety. Women are taught to fear the dark street, the lone walk home, the stranger behind them. But too often the danger is already inside the house, smiling over dinner, saying “I love you,” then treating consent like it’s optional. This is why consent matters. This is why believing survivors matters. This is why calling out misogyny, coercion, and “jokes” about assault matters. Because that culture feeds these places. If this is happening to you, or has happened to you, please reach out immediately. Call local authorities. Contact a sexual assault or domestic violence hotline. Tell someone you trust. You do not have to carry this alone, and help is available. I’m sharing this so more eyes are open, more people stay aware, and fewer predators get to hide in shadows. Spread this. Talk about it. Protect your people. Check in on your friends. If someone tells you something felt wrong, listen. To every predator hiding behind a keyboard your secrecy is cracking.Stay dangerous to systems that protect monsters. Stay soft with survivors. Stay loud when silence helps abusers. Myst

Things i wounder, Are there any real people left on here ? is Fetlife the place to really connect?  AFF and collace seem full of Wanna be's and people looking for KINK of every sortf  ( not a bad thing ) Just real folks seem hard to find. Read plenty of profiles every week, I find more and more that people are full of doodooo ! I read im a submissive im a slave.. But dont say this to me or i dont do this or ill block you if you say this or are a republican lol . I have been in this lifestyle for over 30 years and it sure has changed ! Maybe I should just go back to normal life. This lifestyle has gone to a new low level and people who post are 80% nieve and dont know what a slave or submissive is ! They know KINK for sure but not how to act or speak as they claim they are !  KINK is about sex and fettishes lifestyle is much more then that ! if your a KINKSTER great !  but please dont caim to me a Slave of Submissive lol say what you want and dont . Politics , Religon much like in bars has no place here ! Just be happy ! 

At first, they pleaded for me to be tolerant. I obliged.   Next, they requested that I accept. I acquiesced.   Then, they demanded that I include. But I learned that to include is to convert. I did not want that, so I politely declined.   They insisted, refusing to take No for an answer. I stopped accepting.   They condemned me. I stopped tolerating.

Be Available! Here is why I stress that potential online submissive men be single--meaning you should not be married or partnered or attached in any way:    I am not interested in competing for attention with this partner or spouse, nor am I interested in being their stand-in for a sexless relationship or otherwise help you sneak around behind their back. I do not intend to be held responsible should you be caught. And anyway, how can you truly be made mine if you belong to someone else?    Here is also why I make clear that you should be living alone--meaning you are the only one who resides in the house with no roommates or tenants (or partner or spouse):    If you feel the need to hide because you believe they would not understand, how can you freely behave in service to me? It would also mean never-ending waiting on my end until you were alone. Sure, you may have a job or may have an errand come up but at least when at home, you are able to freely behave according to your true nature (and my instructions).    Finally, here is why you being constantly busy or engaged will not work in my favor: Like the above two examples, it would hinder your availability and performance. I understand if you had a job that lasted from nine to five, but if the work (or any other activities) keeps you away for entire days, that does not make for satisfying service or effective communication (my tutelage and control). And I have done enough waiting.    At the end of the day, this is taking place between Me and you; the nature of the dynamic requires you to be at my beck and call as well as your undivided attention.    How can you make yourself useful to me if you are always hurting for time?    How can constant supervision be possible if you are hardly even there?    How would this respect my own time and energy?    I may have patience but only up to a certain point, especially if you’re screwing around and wasting time.

  What is meant by online friends? An internet relationship is a relationship between people who have met online, and in many cases know each other only via the Internet. Online relationships are similar in many ways to pen pal relationships.    

Just a note — I'm probably not going to gel very well with other sub trans girls, but I'm happy to share pics and chat about our desires, so please don't hesitate to contact me if you like what you see in my profile.   Also, again a note for trans Dommes — I like Mommy Dommes who know that D/s goes both ways. I will happily fluff your ego and make you feel great about yourself if you can treat me like a baby girl who needs pampering, attention and love just in the same way. I will be as obedient to you as I can without doing anything immoral or illegal, of course, and I'll flatter, obey, pump up your ego, and be sweet and submissive to you just like a subbie baby girl or DMlg sub should be.   Same applies if you're an exceptionally good Daddy or Mommy cis Dom/me. I see so many selfish and egotistical profiles from most Dommes which are a huge turn off — the lecturing about throwing away your ego as a sub will work out long-term when you're ready to throw away your female or male ego as a Dom/me, and realize that you're serving your subs needs like they serve yours. They're your priority too, and you need to make them feel good about themselves serving you if you want them there forever. A young and horny boy or girl will serve you to get their needs for some sexual satisfaction fulfilled, but they'll be tired of your galaxy-sized ego saying that you're always right and they're always wrong just because of your relationship dynamics.A similar idea for subs: Please don't ever neglect the need for aftercare for Dom/mes too. They need it as much as you, and they're probably less confident, powerful and in control than you think. It's still a roleplay in a sense, and they have the same doubts as you about their performance. Before or after you get confirmation from them that you were a good boy/girl, be sure to puff up and stroke their egos too and tell them how you loved serving them, that they're a great Daddy/Mommy, etc. Please use your imagination. If your owner isn't good at communicating this back, be sure to ask them for an ego boost and validation as well. Don't stay with them if they become selfish and demanding, though, this is not a one-way street. You have valid needs and you need to ask for them to be fulfilled, too.

A good mantra for a submissive to live by... A submissive’s life is to be in service as required and of service however desired and solely for their Dominant and Owners pleasure amusement and comfort. A submissive’s function should be to strive to be a completely willing and capable of serving for the constant enhancement of the Dominant and Owner's daily life and pleasure in every way possible and on a continuous basis with absolute obedience, commitment and dedication. A submissive understands that the decisions and rules of the Dominant are to be accepted and followed without hesitation or conflict at all times regardless of personal feelings or conflict.  A submissive understands and willingly accepts that it needs its Dominant’s control, use, discipline and punishment as deemed fit at anytime. A submissive needs to accept that it's Dominants and Owner's pleasure, amusement and comfort must be its priority and be all that really matters to the submissive foremost.A submissive understands and accepts that its own pleasure must come from how well it pleases, serves and accepts being used and controlled by it's Dominant and that it may be rewarded if deemed appropriate or pleasurable to its Owner.

Passions of a Ghost Young and energetic MD approaches a stretch of buildings in the Sin City of New Orleans. Risking it all knowing he is outside his perimeter for Max Travel Distance from his military post, but he is dying to know what this new world is about. It is his first party within the lifestyle community with wild fantasies, expectations and fears raging through his mind. Will he be enough? How will he compare? Will he be accepted in a world which rejaspects him for being different? Questions galore which make his palms sweat beyond control. He has a few contacts already within the dungeon having gone through their vetting process. Paperwork signed and face to face meetings had, all that is left is to walk in the door. As he watches the comings and goings he see's Doms, Domme's, subs and slaves walking through a well worn door. Finally pulling himself together he walks in nervously and pays his fee to enter. Around the corner the adventure begins. Furniture of all kinds are found along the walls and in the center of a well laid out dungeon. People are talking amongst themselves, others strung up to crosses for their night's enjoyment, and yet more are preparing for scenes of their own. The energies are immediately felt and a bubbling rise is felt in his chest. As the energies are taken in he comes to understand. He is home. In the coming years this shy little Dom was able to study under some very wise, creative, and often sadistic people of all walks of life. These early days was full of dungeon parties, munches, gatherings of all kinds. There was a code of ethics similar to the military which he knew so well. There was respect. There was courage. There was acceptance. Of course there was love as well. In this community which became my world D types were hard, sadistic, and pushed hard to bring to life the fullest of potential in themselves and their s types. At the same time they still had a heart. If anything they loved their partners far more than ever written in vanilla history. Traveling with the military I traveled the country, but found myself in a different world when he got out after 3 tours overseas. The community had changed. It had evolved into something grander in size, but with so many elements which eroded the values he once knew. He walked those dungeons looking for any resemblance of the community he knew but it was nowhere to be found. Talking with his mentor she couldnt help but laugh at him. He was ranting and raving about the changes which took away the life he knew so well. He was struggling to find his way. He was frustrated how noone held themselves to a standard which made this life so great. He was lost and alone. Even in training with his partners he found them continuously pulled towards this easy shiny way of the life instead of putting in the work and patience required to get to the same level and standard as he needed. His mentor laughed hearing it all before and feeling it herself. She had long since left the community. She felt the changes moreso having come in years before he. She ranted and raved, felt the same frustrations. She battered against those walls trying to bring back those values long before he even felt their demise. After he finally stopped confused by the laughter, her next sentence said it all. "Welcome to the Old Guard" It wasn't anything official or an earning of leathers. It wasn't anything to brag about or label myself as such. It was a pure statement which helped him understand in such a profound way what he had been missing. In all that time he had been looking up like a child letting others take the reigns of the community. He didn't see myself as a leader though having over 12 years in this life at that point. He didn't find himself worthy to take up that mantle yet. After those words were spoken the whole discussion changed from what was lost to how he can be the example for those which feel that absence as deeply as he did. His drive towards mentorship and teaching drove a fire in him which couldn't be extinguished. He stood side by side with those very same leaders he looked up to trying to be that beacon. He started simply teaching rope classes but this also gave him a way to interact with people new and old within the lifestyle. Discussing the issues. Being that rock and safe haven to guide the next generation away from trouble and into a path of greater development. It was a lonely road for nomatter how hard he tried, his equal in passion for this life was nowhere to be found. If anything his role as a teacher and mentor drove him further into isolation. Experience once valued was now seen as a deterrent for many. His age showing more and more became a wall he couldn't tear down. Eventually after personal experiences which nearly crushed his soul, betrayal by the very community he loved and served for so long, he walked away into the shadows. He still had his friends and made the occassional appearances but his heart was held heavy knowing the life he knew was but smokey memories of a long gone era. Now 23 years into this life he found himself down the same road as his mentor before him. Slowly fading away as a ghost of the past. Leathers faded and worn, toys dusty and bearing the years of use, wrinkles where there used to be none, and a sense of passion still burning in his heart he still hangs on to hope. Not for the return of a community once known, but for that one which knows that same level of passion as his own. That one to walk these roads well traveled but once more. That one who he can share his all.  

Tonight I took my wife to her Master's house. We often stay overnight and weekends at his home as he lives alone. My lovely wife as occasionally stayed with him on her own. Tonight we had arranged that she would spend the night with him on her own. I find this so erotic and I have a hard on pretty much the whole time she is away. Tonight he had arranged a special treat for us. He wanted her to stay over night and told me that he had a special friend who would be also staying with them. He knew that I would be extremely excited as we had spoken about this previously. When we arrived his friend was already there. He introduced him over a glass of wine although I chose coffee because I had to drive home.  After a some banter and laughs her Master decided to get the proceedings going and ordered my wife to take her clothes off. She was told to give each item of clothing to me and I had the job of folding her clothes up and putting them into a bag. It was very horny watching her undress in front of two men. I knew Master had seen my wife naked many times but watching his friend stareing at her was a real turn on for me as I'm sure it was for him too. As she  stood there looking gorgeous in just her bra and knickers I almost cum as Master told her to remove everything to the delight of his friend who had not said a word up till now. He watched with a smile on his face as she obeyed her Master an unhooked her bra handing it to me before removing her panties. He told her to put her hands on her head and stand directly in front of his friend. "What do think of her"? he asked him "Beautiful" he replied, "absolutely beautiful and very compliant" "I told you" said Master. "You have my permission to touch her" he said knowing that him giving another man permission to touch my wife would humiliate me further.. Don't worry about her husband" he saoid, I am her Master and she answers only to me, she is my submissive slave" he explained. Deliberately humiliating me he told me it was time for me to leave. He told me to take the bag with all her clothes in it with me as she wont be needing them. He said he would call me to return with them once they had finished with her. I don't know how I managed to drive home. All I could think about was my wife alone and vulnerable and stark naked with two men.

"She knew he was about to finish. She could tell. His grip on her hips got stronger, his breathing picked up, he started going even faster. It wasn't exactly subtle, but it wasn't anything he needed to hide anyway. She kept doing what she'd been doing from the moment he slid in: moaning, pushing back, being for him. He came. She did not. They stayed locked together panting a few moments. His cock twitching, emptying into her. Her head hung low. He gave her a squeeze and a kiss on the back of the neck.It wasn't as though she used to cum from being fucked, at least not all the time. It was just that she used to care that she didn't. There's be disappointment, there'd be frustration.Now, she didn't even notice. It didn't cross her fluffy, mostly-empty mind. The constant need was normal. The itch to be scratched had stopped being an itch, just become part of how she was. That she even could have cum from being fucked had long been forgotten.Good girls don't cum, so... what?  Nothing was missing. When he pulled out she turned around straightaway, like she'd been trained, and took his cock into her mouth. To clean herself off of him, to clean whatever drops of him he hadn't left inside her already, and to thank him for letting her be useful.It had felt good, obviously. So good. So, so good. But it wasn't for her. It was for him. Just like all of her was. She had purpose now, not like before. He'd saved her from that, given something better to her. Given her what she'd really been meant for. So being thankful was important. Certainly, much, much more important than cumming could ever be."  

I have a few minutes to sit still, so I figured I could follow up on my previous post, and discuss the topic of pictures a bit more.  But I realize I'll probably never do better than what I wrote a few years ago, and I know no one ever scrolls back and reads, even if I few do read the current posts. So I'll re-post that, and maybe it will help someone. ____________________________________ Women are not men. I know it seems obvious, yet the majority of men still pursue women without really considering what that means. They write profiles based on what THEY would like, what men value, what men think is impressive, and what they wish they saw on women's profiles. They take and post pictures the same way - based on what they value, what they think is impressive, what they wish women put in their pictures.  If they crossdress, they take and post pictures similar to those of women they found sexy - scantily clad in lingere, posed seductively or sluttily, etc. without considering that those pictures, like porn, were meant to appeal to men.  They send emails, again, that same way. I repeat - Women are not men. Dating, at it's bottom line, is marketing. You have something. You want something. You want to exchange what you have for what you want. In a store, you exchange money for goods and services. In dating, you are mostly hoping to sell. You are hoping to purchase the attention of a partner, in the long or short term, in exchange for your attention, your time, your services. You are selling you, in exchange for them. That's actually a very basic equation. You can't sell to someone unless you know what they want, and find a way to market what you have to that want. This is where most men fail - at the basic premise. They know what THEY want. They don't spend a lot of time researching what their target market wants to BUY. So they market based on what they know, and what they think they know. They know themselves. They know men, in general, and they know what commercials and movies and tv and all media everywhere has told them is attractive to women. They, being men and raised in a male dominated world, never seem to realize that all of those things are ALSO targeted to men, to get men to buy things, usually by appealing to male egos. They show women draping themselves over men who drink this beer, or drive that car, or wear that brand of clothing. They show this to men so that men will want to buy those things. Most of the time, women couldn't give less of a fuck about those things. But men are surrounded by all of this input, so they think we do. I'm not going to try to define what "all women" want on here. Not all women want the same things anyway. Right now, I'm just going to clarify that what WE want is usually not the same as what men want. You need to find out what those things are and tailor your pictures and profile to market to that. Basic things like "don't use a picture of your penis as your profile pic" have been said a million times but it's always the first thing we see everywhere we look. Yes, I like to see a pretty penis. No, I don't see a pretty penis in a picture and become suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to have it right this second. I can't say that I've ever gone looking through the internet just to look at pictures of penises. And when I get one shown to me when I haven't asked to see it, I'm not horrified, but I right there decide that the guy showing it is a pushy, insecure jackass. I lose all interest in interacting with him. It's not that the penis itself is a problem, but that it tells me something about who he is when he has to insist on showing it around - that he's not interested in pleasing ME. He's interested in his own pleasure. And I can do better than that. And honestly, a picture of your chastity device is pretty much the same as a dick pic. You don't want your profile to be a long list if things you want, either. Yes, you want things. You will need to communicate those things. And the world you were probably raised in told you that women do things for men, even Dominant women. All that BDSM porn? It shows lots of women in black leather and rubber getting a LOT of enjoyment doing those things to men. Again, that is written specifically to be bought by men, so they show men what they want to see. Yes, I like doing those things to a man. I like doing them to my partner. I sometimes want to do them to someone other than my partner. But I almost never want to do them to some total stranger just because I like doing them. Your accountant may like his job, but he doesn't go out on the street offering free tax jobs to strangers, ya know? Your profile on a dating page is your resume. Your sales pitch. Your introduction to make us think you have something worth our giving up a few minutes of our time to read further or possibly even have a conversation with you to get more details. This site is a kink/fetish site. This particular discussion is about 'finding a dominant woman.' If you are reading my journal, your target audience is a Dominant Woman. Most Dominant women I talk to are drowning in emails and offers from men who call themselves submissive. Most of them are requests for US to do what THEY want. Which is the first mistake. It's usually their last. Your sales pitch should NEVER NEVER EVER be "I'll let you spank me!" One, why do I WANT to spank you in the first place? Two, why you and not someone who is offering something I want? I'd rather talk to the subbie over here that is offering to give me a full body massage, no strings attached.