FWB, FUN....or LTR The site is set on BDSM- but I can drop all that and just make hot love to a woman.     I am DDF and expect the same.   Hello lady's, and thank you for stopping by! Miscellaneous Facts About Me... * Name: Randall Loomis * Birth Date: April 24, 1967 * Height: 6' * Weight 220 lbs * Hair: Peppered * Eyes: Brown * Marital Status: Single * Astrology: Taurus * Hometown: Troy, OH. USA * Born: Milwaukee, WI. USA * Gender: cis male * Ancestry: Polish, German, Irish, Scotch * Myers Briggs Type Indicator: ENFP * Education: AS Automotive Technology, BA Comparative Literature Studies of English and Law, MA Intervention Specialist K12 Teacher * IQ: 165 (Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale, 2004 ) * Favorite Colors: Camo, Black, Aqua Blue  * Favorite Snacks: Cold butter on non toasted cinnamon raisin bread, assorted pretzels, chips and iced diet Dew * Favorite Implement: Your favorite! I am a very decent highly educated perfect gentleman that has been a ladies man all my life Fine dinning, first gf, first car and she at 15yo was reading her older sisters smut books;  she made me do it all and eventually I grew to like licking her anus well for hours. Now Im older and still want a hot sexy gf to love for real to make passionate love.  But I cant be with a gurl that is not passable I had an fwb for 3 years with my downstairs neighbor She is 21yo and looks hot, But I have had to groom her to be more lady like or girly I got her started on a nice scent from Katy Perry, But she doesn't make herself appear like a woman.  Body oders, dirty finger nails, punky don't care personality, and now shes sexing strangers outside a bar after its closing time I don't want a disease or std Im clean I like kissing and when I see I see a beautiful woman and I can tell that I would dinner date you I would be your Daddy with FWB and you be my Baby sissy Anything is possible for the right woman...marriage or just a ltr I want to kiss my partner with lil gentle kisses and touches and yada yada FUCK whatever she needs from me to make her happy for hours of orgasms xx Daddy I'm happy to see you post a full length pic with your face. That is essential for me to be attracted to a gurl. I am looking for a cd that wants to be treated like a woman. I'm straight guy all my life...a wine and dine ladies man that now likes all girls/gurls that are passable with a dick or a pussy.  I'm a straight alpha male, take charge masculine man. Hairy chested, well built 6ft tall, 220pounds and very broad shouldered muscular 52 inch chest. Great personality, good sense of humor, Loves kissing, hugging and fondling, many hours of foreplay for you.  I'm  looking for a romantic friendship that has the intensity to start a spark with fun dates, wine and dine, dinner and dancing, pizza and a pitcher of beer, shoot pool or romantic beach blanket and a bottle of wine...or just to chat you about anything in your life. I want to love all of a partner and make her happy.       My profile is new I am light into BDSM, butt I do like submissive/sissy types. So Im a loving daddy Dom I was never gay But a pretty hottie 21yo tgirl and I started a FWB and played around like kissy bfgf Im looking to love someone with passionate love making and share quiet moments tv and your favorite treats delivered that is a 3 day weekend date with me.  I would rather drive or fly for a weekend getaways then have sex with the local escorts down the street. I want an exceptional woman for an LTR.   

Woman on fire:   In a world of soft whispers and gentle caress, There exists a woman, fierce and undeterred, With eyes that ignite like fire, she stands defiant, A force of nature, her spirit unyielding.   Her words are sharp, cutting through the silence, Her presence commands attention, demanding respect, She paves her own path with unwavering determination, Unapologetically herself, unafraid to be seen.   In her hands, she holds the power of conviction, A warrior in her own right, unafraid to take a stand, For she knows that her strength lies not in submission, But in the fire that burns within, a beacon of aggression.   So let her be, unbound by societal expectations, For she is a force to be reckoned with, a woman of aggression, Tearing down walls, breaking free from constraints, Unleashing her power, unapologetically fierce.

Remote Controlled - Part 2b Author's Note - The word count was a little too long for the journal, so I have had to split it in two. This is the conclusion of part two. 'If I have captured your interest enough, I want to ask you to submit to me using this app and your toys. If you agree Slut, you will leave the call open and put in your vibe and buttplug. If you do not agree, then you can end that call and I will not have any hard feelings toward you.' 'I'd like to try Jonathan.' 'I am glad to hear it Slut. Now, go and put in your toys.' Through the open line Sally could hear some noises on Jonathan's end. He quickly explained that he had purchased himself a toy that would connect to hers. As he thrust into his toy, it would capture some of the sensations and she would feel them repeated in her toys. Deep within her something fluttered. Sally didn't think that the inventors of the internet ever forsaw this use case, but she was thankful for the people with the ingenuity to make things like this work. Reporting that everything was in place, she lay down on her bed. A notification flashed up from the new app - Jonathan has sent you a new task. Turn on video when using your toy (50 point reward). She stared at it for a moment or two before turning video on the call. Immediately the buttplug began to vibrate. 'I am going to enjoy controlling your ass tonight Slut.' Sally couldn't quite imagine the device he was using on his end, but she smiled as the wonderful feeling of being controlled set in. Another notification flashed up on her phone. Put on a collar (25 point reward). If these tasks were all so simple, it wouldn't be long before she could claim both of the rewards on the app. She reached over to her toy box and buckled a simple leather collar around her neck. Flashing a smile to the camera she reached to her nipples and began playing with them as the toy in her ass vibrated and quaked away. Maybe an online dynamic had some potential after all she thought...then the vibrator in her pussy kicked in and before too long waves of pleasure were washing over her mind and body.

A sissy does not get to decide if it will have sex, with whom it will have sex, where it will have sex, when it will have sex or how it will have sex.     In fact, a sissy doesn’t “have sex”.     A sissy is USED for sex.    All fagged up in women’s stockings, women’s lingerie and makeup it is a kind of sexual prop to be used by men - real men - to bang up and relieve themselves in or on, when, how and where they choose.      When the man is finished with it, it is discarded, like a used condom, awash with his fluids, whimpering away pathetically in all it emasculation in stockings and girlie shit.  

Getting the most from messagingThis site isn't like social media. Nor is it like whatsapp. It's something different. I noticed this when I had my pervious profile and want to make a couple of things clear. For me, you'll get the best results from a long form message. Something more like email or a letter. Its a bit like Tinder or Grinder. You get the best results when you have something more to say than 'hello'. If you're interested, say that. If you're looking for something long term say that too. Most of us get deluged with messages from all sides that are simply a single line of text. I delete those unread.Why?Simple: because no relationship or true D/s dynamic is going to develop from a string of one line messages. The D/s dynamic requires high levels of trust and openness. Such trust and openness cannot develop from single lines. At some point more information needs to be givem.But what if I am better at talking than writing? Well that's an easy one - speech to text apps exist. They're accurate and easy to use. Seriously, I once had a correspondent who tried this on my suggestion and it was the best conversation I'd had on my old profile up to that point. He thanked me afterwards because he was getting more replies.I don't have time for long messages. This will sound harsh, but you don't then have time for BDSM or a D/s dynamic either. For dominants, the level of attention a submissive needs is usually quite high at first. Sure they'll eventually require less attention to maximise the relationship from, but early on you'll need to invest time. As I said earlier, trust doesn't form from nowhere. If I'm going to let you tie me up and spank me, if I'm going to willingly place myself in a position so vulnerable I need to trust you.Of coruse, all of what I say here are observations of mine. Not every sub will feel the same, nor will every Dom(me). This is just my two penny worth. I do seriously recommend to everyone though, a longer message is better than a short one. In a sea of one-line messages it makes you stand out too!For me who works shift patterns sometimes I can only get to checking the site once a day, but when I do I'll respond to the most interesting messages, or the people with whom a connection has developed first. Tara xox

There have been some changes within our household.  The slave we used to own has had to take a break to deal with several members of her vanilla family that have gotten really sick 3000 miles away. While she held the title of slave, she ended up being more of a sister wife and we've stayed in touch even after her move.  Although not in a D/s sense, we have remained friends. To that, we are back to seeking one who desires to serve, and be of service.  Who craves the reward of praise for a job well done, and is bothered more about her failures then about any punishment she gets for them. To be clear, we are not seeking a girlfriend, or a just a play partner.  This is a life experience for us that goes well beyond play, and regardless of your experience level, our goal is to teach you to serve as we desire, but also to emotionally reward you for that service.

 It is so sad that an honest to God true Dom/Master with over 50 years in the lifestyle would be on most every sub/slave's wish list. I can be gentle for those just learning, medium for the ones with some experience and Sadistic to those in need of a very hard and prisoner experience. I am a bit of everything to whom it is need for.   Yes as all Dom/Masters my word is my bond to me if I can not be honest or truthful then I should not be here. For those who are Dom/Master in name only before you engage with a sub/slave. You should take every advantage of all those of us who have experience so you can learn. You never talk to a potential sub/slave as you own them as until they willingly give you the honored gift of their submission, you will never own them. This is fact and writen in Iron. That gift is their's to give to whom ever they choose and it is not done lightly. There has to be total trust that you as their Dom/Master will never abuse that gift. Those of you after only sex that is not what this site is about. It is a serious lifestyle steeped jn traditions and rules of conduct. The fact that some of you think it is a game are deceiving yourself and others see it. This lifestyle should never be taken lightly nor used to play games with. The sub/slave is not a toy it is a concept made true by a human being that lives breathes and thinks as well as has feelings that we as Don/Master need to see and think how to co epically add this life to our needs and desires. That comes from trust and a love to make the Dom/Master whole. 

the dark god & goddess: archangel michael and sophia, AKA the daddy dominant and little girl Vibe. through algorithmic divination—how spirit uses music and tech for ascension vibes     the shuffle algorithm divination is so immaculate today. all started out with the synergy of the dark guy and the dark guy with WHITE LIGHTS(spirit changes it to lights to me instead of lies because it's shining light on the black areas of life which lies are dark too) AND BLACK BEACHES summer bummer.   "It's never too late to be who you wanna be (swimmin' in my safe)   To say what you wanna say (tattoo on my face, swimmin' in my safe)   And it's never too late to leave if you wanna leave (better not)   Or to stay if you wanna stay, "   "Hip-hop in the summer (what? What? What?)   Don't be a bummer, babe (what? What? Yeah?)"   i try lana but just like a few days ago i am a rock bottom bummer at times but that's why we're dark you and i. we go there but come back.   this bit requires nuance that a lot of people don't have. you can read this as a bad characteristic..but if you are able to again hold the line be sovereign and fully let go and go back to yourself, this is literally just giving into SAILOR VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN, LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK, ROLLING HEART VIBRATION, WINK CHAIN SWORD SHIT...it's just an intense way of loving and fighting for girlies.   it's why i say coming in love and peace viciously and violently. the love and peace is there but it's done in an intense and assertive and if need be aggressive nature. world and other people's choice.   what happens when these two forces unite?   "What? (What? They been at it, check it out) huh? (we been out here, yeah)   Slide inside it, diddy boppin', milly rockin' (what? What? Whoo!)   She just might become my lover for real (yeah that's girl, for real, for real)   I might fuck with her all summer for real (for real, for real)   They better not holler if I cuff her for real (for real, for real)   Niggas better run for cover for real   Goin' bell how I feel, close the deal, pop a seal   Take the whip, two pills on the lips on the real (for real, for real)   what's the difference between the love and light and the dark creator energy?"   when these songs or energies show up the love and light tribe go ew toxic scary needs to transmute redirect avoid pray away eject.   the dark crowd say, i have that in me. namaste. i see it in you. these lyrics aren't offensive or mean, they are admitting how crazy and overwhelming things are at times. and not only do i namaste it.   "White lies and black beaches, miles in between us   Is this love or lust or some game on repeat? It's like makin' me crazy   Tell me, "have patience", baby, I need this   White lines and black beaches   White lies and black beaches and blood-red sangrias   We traveled for weeks, just to escape your demons   But you've got your reasons in makin' me crazy   But you've got your reasons, white lights and black beaches   High tops in the summer (top out, hop out, hop out)   Don't be a bummer, babe (top out, hop out, hop out)   Don't be a bummer (top out, hop out, hop out)   Don't be a bummer"   jump the fuck in let's go for a fucking ride together. keep your shit tight i keep my shit tight and let's jump with the parachute into it head first.   "Not even they can stop me now   Boy, I'll be flying overhead   Their heavy words can't bring me down   Boy, I've been raised from the dead"   highlighted with aliana's unfold song....the problem with urban flora is the entire album is a insight into this type of woman. the mermaid the siren, the dark goddess, the oshun, the yemoja(that's how it comes to me spelling wise naturally and i know it's not 'right' ), and starseed wise on a galactic wise the dark beings from sirius lemuria and other water places. the project for me is to audio note play by play the album because i can't honor the water roots in text. but that's going to be a big undertaking....to be noted.   but this is what happens when the chaotic dark man and woman unite. again 3d puts this as boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife...and while that sustainability provides the most continual long term optimal..5d can have you unfold in a second, in a moment, in a few days, in a few weeks..just by an exchange. and opening up to fully receive that in the same short term capacity with full abandon without titles allows a higher elevation with letting go of the need to control how long how strong how exactly it goes.     "Cover my thoughts in gold   I'm your flower, watch me unfold   My vulnerability, letting you consume me   The parts of me that eyes can't see   The glowing underneath   Picking off the petals   I'll let you if you're gentle   Hey, watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Hey, watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Watch me   Hey, he says that I'm glowing   Hey, He says that I'm glowing   This kind of love we can't control   The art of touch, I am covered in gold   I know that you feel me now   No I'm never going down   The parts of me buried underneath   The glowing, don you see?   I know that you feel me now   No I'm never going down   Hey   Hey   Hey, watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Hey, watch me unfold   Watch me unfold   Watch me   Hey, he says that I'm glowing   Hey, He says that I'm glowing   The kind of love we can't control   The kind of love we can't control   The kind of love we can't control   The kind of love we can't control   The kind of love we can't control   This kind of love we can't control   Love, love   We can't control   The kind of love   We can't control   This kind of love we can't control   The love we can't control"   the woman goes through the brooklyn baby. i feel i literally squeezed all the seeds out of that and previous posts can be referenced for the meaning behind that.   summary bit here.   We talked about how "Brooklyn Baby" by Lana Del Rey represents the swan song not just for the Sophia energy but for Michael in the 3D—the energy that lives between spiritual masculinity and

I cleared "house" over the weekend declining those who weren't suitable. No one made the cut. Interesting how this journal entry shows I hi a ave high standards, however a guy being an adult clearly defining what he seeks so I can decide if he suits what I seek is slow. A guy doing the usual "whatever you want.." b.s to attempt to hide he wants a fetish dispenser = that won't be me. No it doesn't mean I am not into BDSM playtime, I am. What it means as I know the person very well over a year before I bring up kink and playtime. They guy agrees to that put tries twice to push kink. Three strikes and he's blocked. Next batch of applicants it will be two strikes and they will be blocked. After that batch isn't viable I will stop replying to all messages for sometime. Get it right guys!!

LongTerm Chastity The waves of denial come and go.There are days when i forget that i am locked up, then a wave of reality hits and the feeling of helplessness and inferiority pound on my psyche.The need to be teased, aroused and denied as others enjoy their sexual freedoms intensifies..i started this journey out of curiosity and now i am overwhelmed with the need to be locked.i have gone back to my original device. It is open and i can keep myself clean without removing it.i am wondering if i should forgo any shaving, thus eliminating any reason for the occasional unlocking.Thoughts of making this permanent and irreversible have entered my mind. It would be easy enough to do: Hex button Stainless Steel screw, a tap, Locktite 266. (Don't forget to round out the Hex hole with a f=drill bit after it is tightly in place, to render the Hex key useless.) .Yes, the thought has crossed my mind..........a few times..

The M/s lifestyle is an extreme form of structured relationship, and what makes it powerful is that it’s built on choice and consent. The surrender of power by the slave and the assumption of responsibility by the Master isn’t casual—it’s intentional, serious, and often lifelong. At its best, it creates a dynamic where both roles are deeply fulfilled: the Master gains purpose through leadership, structure, and control, while the slave gains purpose through service, clarity, and the comfort of being fully owned.   What stands out to me is that it magnifies truths about human connection that already exist in all relationships: people crave trust, guidance, being seen, and being valued. M/s strips away the pretense and makes those elements explicit, codified in rules, rituals, and expectations. It’s not easy—because maintaining authority and surrender 24/7 in a modern world takes enormous honesty, discipline, and commitment. But when it works, it creates a bond few other dynamics can match, one that is both practical and profoundly emotional.

my take of "ALLAN POE"Since childhood, I've never been Like others were - I've never seen The world as they do, nor felt the same Passions from a common flame. My sorrows don't come from their source, And joy doesn't move me with its force. All that I've loved, I've loved alone, In my childhood, when life was unknown. From the depths of good and ill, My mystery was drawn and still Binds me, with its enduring power, From the mountain's cliff and the fountain's shower. From the sun's golden autumn glow, To the lightning and the thunder's show, From the storm and the passing cloud, That in my mind, a demon shroud. Yet, though I've walked this path alone, I've found my strength in being shown The beauty and the darkness too, That others might not see or do. For in the storm and in the calm, I've found a peace, a healing balm, That's helped me through life's many trials, And filled my heart with lasting smiles. So though I may not be the same As others in this world's grand game, I've learned to embrace my unique fate, And find my joy, though it may be late.

The Most Dangerous Woman in the Room Intelligence is non-negotiable for me. Not as a preference, not as a nice-to-have. As oxygen. The dynamic I crave lives and dies on the quality of mind across from me, and frankly, a dull submissive is the least interesting thing I can imagine. What would be the point of the subversion without something worth subverting? Because that is what this is, at its core. Subversion. And it is my favorite thing about my own dominance. There is a particular kind of woman the world has decided it understands. Beautiful, polished, old money in her bones and silver screen glamor in the way she moves. The kind of woman who makes a room recalibrate when she enters it, not loudly, but inevitably. The world looks at her and thinks it knows the story: the accomplished man beside her, the elegant life, the complementary pair. Matched. Balanced. Conventional, underneath the gorgeous surface. The world is wrong, and I find that endlessly delightful. He is, to every outside eye, exactly what he appears: successful, intelligent, the kind of man other men respect without quite knowing why. He carries himself well. He speaks well. He is, in every social context that matters to anyone watching, her equal, if not more. The couple that makes people feel vaguely inspired just by existing in the same room. And then the door closes. And he kneels. That gap, between the world's assumption and the private truth, is where the magic lives for me. It is cinematic in the way that only real things can be cinematic, because no one scripted it, no one performs it for an audience, no one gets to see it but us. It is entirely, privately ours. A secret folded inside the most publicly acceptable packaging imaginable. There is something about a genuinely powerful man choosing, with full understanding of what he is doing, to place himself at the mercy of a woman who will use that power exactly as she sees fit, that feels like the most honest thing two people can construct together. Not despite his strength. Because of it. Submission means nothing from someone who had nothing to surrender. The kneeling matters because of who is doing the kneeling. And I will not pretend the aesthetics are irrelevant, because they are not. The cut of a well-made dress. The particular quality of composure that reads as warmth to strangers and means something else entirely to him. The way the room sees two people and I know, with complete and unhurried certainty, exactly what is happening under the surface of every pleasant exchange. That knowledge is its own kind of power, and I wear it the way I wear everything: beautifully, and without explaining myself to anyone. The Trad wife trope exists as a container for a certain kind of woman. Lovely, accomplished on the correct terms, a complement to the man she stands beside. I find that container useful primarily for how satisfying it is to blow the bottom out of it, privately, completely, in ways the people who built it will never see coming and never get to witness.   That, to me, is what real magic looks like.

Male wives, sissification, forced bi, and forced fem (from Fet) This is a long overdue update to a previous post. It felt kind of vague when I first wrote it 6 years ago, but with new insight, I'm going to attempt a bit of clarification. Why am I looking for a male wife? I only experience initial primary sexual attraction to a very narrow subset of people (thanks, demisexuality). It shortens the extremely lengthy process of friendship and emotional compatibility leading to sexual attraction. To me, a male wife is more of a genderfluid, androgynous, or crossdressing AMAB who doesn't rigidly adhere to stereotypical gender roles in real life. Some buzzwords may include metrosexual or femboy. He finds enjoyment and comfort in incorporating stereotypically feminine roles, attitudes, and attire, just as I do on the masculine side of things. He craves the freedom that comes with true gender equality on all fronts. I think I have more in common with heteroflexible, bi, or pan guys (I, too, like men), but I'm definitely not turning away straight guys with a healthy mindset lol Anyway, he's generally also more confident in himself and open-minded in regards to exploring gender identity and sexuality in kink as well. If not, he's actively working on eliminating misogyny, misandry, or elements of toxic masculinity that may be causing him to struggle in his life. There's no sissification, forced feminization, or forced bisexuality. If this is you, contact me :) Why is sissification a hard no for me? Unfortunately, there's an element of misogyny and mockery of women related to sissification. Before you say "not all sissies", please keep in mind that your counterparts are badly misrepresenting you. Personally, sissification gives me old-school minstrel vibes. A select few minstrels put on blackface and made a point to use it positively to honor and represent black people in a way that most white audiences had never experienced. Unfortunately, it was overwhelmingly used by white men to mock with offensive caricatures and harmful stereotypes for the pleasure of themselves and their audience. Think hard about why sissification is so prevalent in a subset of domination that's supposed to be woman-positive. It concerns me because your extremely loud counterparts seek a dominant woman, yet appear to believe that being a woman is somehow inferior. Are they honoring women by honestly representing us, or are they using it as a way to mock us with caricatures of ourselves and harmful stereotypes? Are they using that internalized misogyny to fuel their humiliation kink and to entertain their audience so they can all get off to it? (and before you come after me, I'm both black and a woman - so yes, I can make these comparisons and they are definitely fair) When I see so many people who identify as sissies looking like they just stumbled home after drinking heavily and puking in the bushes at a frat party, it's disheartening. The makeup is clownish and smeared, the outfit is hideous, the wig is terrible and crooked...it's just a mess, and it truly hurts to see ourselves represented this way. It's humiliating to us and to them, and I understand that humiliation may be their kink, but their future dominant may not want to see someone dressed as a caricature of themselves. This is likely why sissification doesn't sit well with the majority of lifestyle dominants, and they may not be able to explain it past a basic "ew, no thanks." Why are forced feminization and forced bisexuality a hard no for me? There's misandry and aspects of toxic masculinity related to forced feminization and forced bisexuality. There's rarely any true "force" involved. Instead, there's a great deal of transferring emotional responsibility to the dominant to avoid feeling guilt for enjoying something they feel societal pressure to dislike because it's not considered "manly." I am completely uninterested in incels, alphas, or whatever ultra-toxic pick-up artist crap is going on out there. 2017 version of this post, titled "Comparison: Male Wife vs. Male Partner in FLR" To me, a male wife is more of a genderfluid or androgynous man who doesn't adhere to masculine stereotypes and has no issue with it. There's no need to feminize him as he's already naturally more feminine in mindset and/or body than society prefers. When in womenswear, he prefers looking as natural as possible and eschews excessively frilly "sissy" wear. He doesn't call himself a sissy, either, as the term has a negative connotation for me of "femininity deserves humiliation and mockery." He's generally also more confident in himself and open-minded in regards to exploring gender identity and sexuality in kink. In summary, if I tell this man he looks beautiful in a dress, he'd accept it as the compliment I intended. If this is you, send me a message. On the other hand, a male partner is more stereotypically masculine and more reticent to explore gender identity and sexuality in kink without being "forced" to, e.g. forced bi, forced feminization, forced sissification. There's a great deal of transferring responsibility to the dominant to avoid feeling guilt for enjoying something they feel societal pressure to dislike because it's not considered "manly." It concerns me because they want a dominant woman, yet they believe being womanly is somehow inferior. In summary, if I tell this man he looks beautiful in a dress, he takes it as an insult or believes that I'm trying to humiliate him - which will either turn him on or repulse him. I'm not interested in this guy.

A few things that need said.   One ... I am currently 58.  Due to not using email this account was created with, unable to do updates... do to this was created with an email I can no longer access. Secondly, I am very real.  So don't come at Me saying you're serious .... then not be.  I am not here to waste your time or Mine. Thirdly, My divorce is final.  If you need to know more just ask. Fourthly, I am healing.  And won't let the circumstances hinder Me no longer if I can help it.   Fifthly, I am working to move back to the USA by the end of 2025 at the latest. Sooner if possible. Lastly, as life goes, curves are thrown at Us.  So at 58, a new chapter is beginning.  Nuff said  

Returning to the simple life with my 2nd In recent days I've let myself dream and imagine. Something I dared not do in the past. What wonderful experiences would be paved with carefully laid out bricks to form the perfect path? Each brick a representation of heart felt and true emotional moments of connection and understanding. Each brick carefully examined under my experienced eye as I lovingly place them. Making sure they sit solidly in place to never shift, crack or break under the weight of life's weight. Each meaningful exchange of explorations and discoveries of what I seek found inside the one. Another brick is formed then carefully set in place. The paved path quickly, maybe even too quickly causing one to question its authenticity, leading to my kingdom. My kingdom is where I rule as king and is my domain. It radiates with love, affection and admiration. Its walls are thick and built to protect my residents from any harm or threat an invader my try to assault with. The sun shine thru illuminating life and bringing warmth and comfort to those inside. It's very depths are filled with positive energy for all to absorb. Yet deep within this kingdom also resides a dungeon. It is well equipped with all one would need to break the spirit of another. A place where pain can be pleasure but pleasure also painful. The master of this dungeon is experienced in all forms of infliction. He yields the arsenal of his trade with efficient and deliberate blows. Yet the physical s at his disposal are only superceded by his knowledge of the human psychy. He is like an artist manipulating the canvas before him. Turning it from either a blank or unattractive painting to one that when looked upon will make even the hardest hearted individuals melt and smile at its beauty. Yes the road to this kingdom a complicated one but for the one who seeks eternal belonging it is Eden. If only his dreams of the completed path were true. He looks up to the heavens and is heard to say, "Is this the ONE you have sent to me? Have you taken my rib to form my Eve. If she is, please, let her be all I seek." He returns his gaze and his full attention back to his task at hand filled with hope. Alas, the God's have mocked ones again. His emotions played with like the wireless puppets we are. His eyes distracted on one as the so wittingly sneak the other in behind his back. The unexpected tale of the story taking on a life of its own diverting him from her to another. One who mysteriously was guided to that fateful meet. A message titled, "Ummm....wrong button", mysteriously appearing in his mail. The ball was set in motion like a snowball traveling down a large snow covered embankment, its momentum grew, picking up more snow that clung to it enlarging it! It's mass quickly devouring all in its path as it consumed and grew. Soon too powerful to stop it enveloped all in its surroundings claiming them as its own. As such that mistakenly sent message grew wings and soared. One message led to many which led to hundreds more. Messages soon evolving to phone calls that soon dominated their lives and became the focus of their day. She quizingly and scrutinly joins in with guarded fear of rejection and hurt. For she is not a stranger to the cause but only retreated to protect her heart from more.

1/14/26 You, as a submissive, should make the first move. I won't chase your submission. I only want a sub/slave that serves me because they feel I'm worthy of that service...not because they're scared or intimidated into it. If you want to see if we could work well together, then ask for me to email you The Form™️. I will ask anyone interested in serving me to fill out The Form™️, which is very much a job application. Since I'm on CS primarily to locate a long-term sub/slave, The Form™️ could be the most important job application of your life. It's big, it's detailed, it's invasive... and it's a test. If you're not up to completing it, then you're not up to handling me and the service I desire. But if you are, then buckle up and enjoy the ride! ;)   ~~Blue (=

Enforced chastity Asking it what its least/favorite foods are and feeding them what they least like except as a reward. Choosing if sub is allowed to look at men/women in the eyes Choosing sub's place for the night sub has ask for permission via text message for any unsupervised activity (going out, having a drink after work, ordering a second drink). Must wait for a reply before proceeding. If someone inquires about this the sub has answer truthfully. “my partner does not allow it", or "I have to ask for permission first."   Care to add to this? 

Haha. Seems Drumf  is a bad word on this site. Let's see if an edit makes the cut... 11/5/24 If you're a Drumf supporter, let's not waste each other's time. We will never be more than cordial acquaintances, at best. I genuinely cannot ever understand the mindset that accepts his behaviours in any way, shape, or form, let alone as leader and role model for this country and the world. Apparently some people don't understand how politics plays into a site like this. In this case, it goes way beyond politics and into morality. I can be civil, as evidenced by my opening lines here. When what I really feel in my heart is: I have no fucking use for you in my life, you fucking traitors to humanity, compassion, and decency. You call yourselves patriots and wave the US flag, all while supporting a would be dictator. You don't value Democracy, nor any of the millions of immigrants, women, disabled and/or ethnicly diverse individuals, or even children you've stepped on...y'know, people who make this country truly Great. Your red hats are just as UN-patriotic as if they were red coats. At least you got the color right, traitors.

My Perception:   Dominant: Ultimately holds all power & influence over others. Stern, Governing, Controlling, Commanding, Supreme, Authoritative, Influential, Powerful, Superior, Calculating, Demanding. It is about Them and not those inferior/below them.   Submissive: Is a person who makes a conscious choice to give up some or all control of to another person. May. Have pre arranged limits that have been discussed prior but may be tested or even stretched at times.   Slave: A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon them to obey. Limits are those of the Owner/Dominant.   Switch: Someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a Top and other times a Bottom & generally a kinkster and neither a natural Dominant or Submissive but more into the kinky fun factor.   Pro-Dom/me, Dominatrix, Fin Dom/me: profit making professional service through terms such as rates, fee's, charges, tributes & gifts. (Never to be confused with real Dominants IMHO)

Something I just wrote to someone on here which I think is a valid statement from me: I mean I'm not on here just for sex. I'm a sapiosexual above anything and to even interest me you have to engage me on a mental level. To expound on that, I'm also here to expose myself to people and concepts of sexuality and expression that are new to me. As I've explored further, by reading, connecting with people and experience I find that I've become a more sex positive person in general. I've been accepting new and bizarre things that perhaps turn me on and celebrating them instead of shaming them away. I am becoming more comfortable as a sexual creature as I follow my curiosity. I am also honing my communication skills. I love the emphasis the BDSM community has on talking about limits and consent and making sure people feel heard and valued. It's a value set we would do well to enact in our everyday vanilla efforts to communicate. These are just some musings I suppose.

Sadly there are those (let's call this hypothetical collection of CS profiles, 'demographic X'), who will judge you, and make all sorts of bigoted assumptions about you, and twist your words beyond any recognition and to such extremes that it would make a pretzel blush, all based, largely, on your demographics. Now, such an X couldn't pretend to twist my words into sexual interest, since I directly mentioned among other things, my being asexual...but there are 100 other ways to twist your words and reach the goal of being "offended". For example, by pretending that my writing has to do with *their* category, when, as I alluded to in passing, and when in reality, I've sent over the last 10 years, more than a few similar (not at all identical, but similar in writing style, tone etc) friendly notes, a gentle, polite, friendly query asking for clarification, to those of different category(what's a French word for "type", again?)...who were almost all of them quite appreciative, and usually even thanked me, for the inquiry and for my gentle suggestion they might, perhaps, want to consider clarifying a thing or two in self-description, as well as clarify/answer my question.. Great! So it had nothing to do with the demographics of such an X. It's not fully clear whether the scorched earth reply(to things not remotely related to what I actually said), had to do with my demographic in general, of my demographic only since they also now were aware that I was asexual, therefore not interested in X; either way, horrible motive, even if might have been only a subconscious motive rather than conscious one... and either way, putting 100 things in my mouth I didn't come within a mile of saying.. twisting a cordial, polite note which in fact,  bent over backward to be friendly, not assuming anything by me..and twist it to a super-pretzel and then unleash a stream of hate that would impress anyone in Hades.. And folks wonder why one has not only turned (not quite completely but nearly fully) asexual and also with ever-lower views of the Current State of the Human Race. (there is at least some truth to the adage that 'no good deed [or kind gesture] goes unpunished' but the many times it was appreciated, are happy memories, happy enough so eventually, I'll again make such a deed/gesture) We will not point a finger at the inherent worth and longer-term potential of the human race; I still hope and even believe we will slowly over decades and centuries become better. Among other things, getting out of the extreme social, psychological, financial, emotional, self-image, etc stress that so many fellow human beings around seem to be in, surely would help. Hence the comment above was about not "the human race" but the "current state of" our species and society. Ah well. A nice walk in beautiful nature with sunshine, does, and did, a lot of positive healing, and works wonders.  

Property.  Noun. 1. A thing or things belonging to someone; possessions collectively.  2. An attribute, quality, or characteristic of something.  I, am property. I don't always behave that way, but I should, because that is what I am. Master is a saint for how much patience he's had with me. Property doesn't have a say or an opinion. No voice, nothing. Change is not easy for me. To my brain it signals that there's a threat, danger, or that my world is going to be upended. I don't really know what to do with change, and abrupt change? Forget it. My brain either goes into full meltdown or fight mode. There is no in between. To be calm during changes means a meltdown later. Because I'm only calm outwardly. Inwardly I'm screaming for something to be the same, anything. Even a small thing. Master is that one thing. When my brain is screaming, he's there, steadfast and strong, unyielding and sure. I am his property. I don't get a say anymore. But I do get protection, care, and a Master who has always been there since day one. I'm property. A thing. His thing. Whenever, wherever, however he wants. His.  I am not looking for a response to this. I'm posting so that I can come back and read it when I need to. 

    February 12th, 2022   Pantyhose guy came over today. He has pretty much given himself the nickname, because he loves the feeling of being in pantyhose.  I'm not really into him wearing them during a visit and he respaspects that.   He's visited a few times before. But today was a little different. Today he decided to suck cock for the first time. He might have had a taste or two before, but today he got the full treatment.   Because he reads my stories, he knew when he walked in the house to strip naked. I don't even think I had to tell him. He just stripped off his clothes immediately. Although it did not come as a surprise, his tiny cock was trapped in a beautiful black cock cage.    He was very nervous, and he shared this information in text messages before his arrival.  So instead of giving him a chance to think it over, and maybe change his mind, we headed straight upstairs.   I had just gotten out of the shower, still a little damp, wearing nothing but jogging pants. When we got upstairs I stripped out of the jogging pants and laid on my back in bed. From text messages we had shared earlier in the day he knew that's what was going to happen. I was going to let him go at his pace, for his first time of sucking cock.   He was nervous and stood next to the bed naked for a few minutes, until eventually he asked what he should do. I scooted up in the bed a bit and told him to climb in from the bottom and start to suck my cock. Knowing he was nervous, I kept my cock soft, but as his mouth surrounded my cock it was wonderful.  Not just the fact that my cock was the first cock that was going to get hard in his mouth, but it felt warm and wet and wonderful.   Instead of laying flat on the on his stomach, like the boy in my previous story (the boy with his hands tied behind his back) pantyhose guy was on his knees leaning down toward my cock. This made the angle a little bit difficult but he was having no problems.  But even with the slightly difficult angle before long I could feel my cock starting to grow. I didn't want to force him into anything but I did lay my hands on the back of his head, feeling the rhythmic bouncing of his head on my cock.  Once or twice I grabbed a handful of hair and pushed him balls deep. I was surprised that he didn't gag.   As he continued to suck my cock, I reached down and started playing with one of his nipples. I started with a little pinch and then got a little more aggressive. Something about pinching his nipple put my cock on fire. I could feel my cock getting even harder than it was just a few moments ago. He didn't resist, he didn't complain, he just let me play with his nipple.   After he had sucked cock for a while, I told him we were going to change positions. Instead of both of us being parallel to the length of the bed, I laid at an diagonal and he positions himself perpendicular to the bed. This gave me access to his ass with my fingers, while still giving his mouth access to my cock.   He brought his own silicone lube and I poured some onto the fingers of my left hand. He leaned forward and started sucking my cock again, pushing his ass up into the air. As my fingers found their way to his hole, I was met with another nice surprise.  I felt a butt plug in place. I started to pull and tug on the butt plug and there was quite a bit of resistance. It started popping out of his ass but it did not release completely. I learned it was a multi-layered bubble butt plug with two big bubbles/balls. The first ball came out followed slowly by the second. It was either glass or clear acrylic, very large, and I knew it was leaving an empty space in his hole.   I sat it on the back of the bed, and soon my fingers found his gaping hole.  One finger slid in with absolutely no resistance, so quickly two fingers went into his ass. As he continued sucking on my cock I found his prostate and started massaging it.  He started to moan. Since my cock was in his mouth I could feel the vibrations of the moan penetrating my cock.   With my left hand on his ass and my fingers in his hole, my right hand rested on the back of his head or neck occasionally pushing him deep under my cock. Once or twice he came off my cock and said It felt so great he was afraid he was going to orgasm. So we would take a bit of a breather. I would pull my fingers out of his ass but he would continue to suck my cock.    We did this for quite a while, and at one point he said his jaw was starting to ache.  I knew why he had come for a visit. He wanted my cock in his hole and my seed deep in his ass.   From the discussions we had earlier while texting I didn't know how much time he had, but I knew I was ready to fuck him. So I told him it was time. He questioned if we were rushing, I'm not sure if he was enjoying the cock sucking and me playing with his ass or if he was thinking of backing out. I decided not to take the chance.  I told him it was time to get fucked.   I climbed off the bed as he pushed his ass higher into the air. I climbed on the bed behind him, my left foot flat on the bed with my bent knee. My right foot and leg hooked around his right leg to hold him up and to keep him from dropping away from me.   My cock found its target, and plunged in balls deep first try. The toy that had been in his ass was so large, he was so opened up, he didn't even g.  But he was definitely not loose, his ass was tight around my cock.  Oh my God it felt wonderful.  I twisted my right knee on top of his back, somehow keeping my right foot locked in place so he couldn't get away.  In this perpendicular position our bodies were almost forming a "T."   This gave me the absolute maximum depth in his ass that I could have. I varried my rhythm going from slow to fast. Sometimes pulling completely out and plunging back in. Sometimes just popping the head of my cock in and out. Sometimes working full length without pulling out completely. His head was down on the pillow where it should be, his ass in the air. At times I felt him rhythmically push back as if to force his ass to swallow more of my cock.   The sensation was incredible, plus from my view it was a hot sight to see. His ass up, his head down, occasionally I would lean forward and put my hand against the back of his head and push him into the pillow. I probably only lasted about 10 minutes, and during that time I thought of everything including work, my broken snowblower, and things on my to-do list... but it didn't help, it was all too exciting.   Then I made my fatal mistake. I flipped my right foot onto the back of his neck pushing him down into the pillow with much of my weight. Psychologically there is something about me being dominant and doing this to a submissive that pushes me over the edge. And that is exactly what it did. My bad, LOL.   Soon I told him that I was going to be flooding his ass with my cum.   I pumped another dozen or so times and then felt my cum pulsing out of my cock. Filling his ass with my orgasm. I was staying hard so I continued fucking him. I moved my leg back to the bed pinning him against me, sometimes brutally thrusting into him. Eventually I was exhausted and had to pull out.   We reinserted the glass toy into his hole so none of my seed would

So I have a confession. I found someone I'm smitten with here and I still had to leave him with no reply. I realized you have to make hard commands here because so many are trained and untrained by all different variations of superiors. So I'm going to write my must/must not list to help you gauge if we should be communicating at all.  1. Must ask for permission to hold a conversation. I instantly read your profile to see who you believe you are. Not doing this is a pet peeve. It's like being outside and someone just starts talking to you before they ask if you have time to talk.  2. I'm in Atlanta and I frequent Houston because I'll also have a home there soon. I get bored easily so online play is so having someone local or that enjoys travel a lot is preferable. I have a 7 day attention span before im Annoyed with only chit chat so keep that in mind.  3. I am a serial entrepreneur so I don't have time for a 24/7 sub/slave situation. I already have 147 employees, meetings, and projaspects in my vanilla life. The part of my life you live is to allow me to explore my deviance along with worship aspaspects I so enjoy. Everyone needs a little kink but there is a time and place for everything.   4. I rarely play home, I belong to many clubs throughout the U.S. So my favorite types of play dates happen to be dinner drinks and maybe meeting a couple or two if you've been well behaved. I only play with things that belong to me.   5. I enjoy ritual admiration. I believe when you believe in something you will develop rituals to keep it close to your heart. It's the reason we use to pledge our allegiance to the flag or say Grace before we eat. Being able to honor your superior or superiors always makes me happy.  6. I'm not into non thinkers. I Need to be able to hold a conversation with you. I want to enjoy having you and if your stuff like a broom stick I won't be able. Its ok for me to ask how your day was and you give me a real answer not you've been in chastity since 6amim talking about did you speak to family, how was work,  what did you eat? I am a Mistress and a Goddess and a Woman I don't turn any of me off to be the others they are my trinity. I want you to be able to be you in it's entirety for me.  7. So many of you seem like you could be great if you had the right person leading you, but you have to remember to make genuine connections. I'm not interested in training someone I have interest in nurturing. I'm a lover and  unfortunately some times my love hurts a little lol. Sometimes my love demands a little from you but if you believe I'm worth worship you will do what's needed.    8. I'm a 8 life path so I'll leave you with this go listen to "Take me to church" by Hozier and remember me!   Lets have a conversation but remember rule #1 before you message. If you can't follow simple instructions you're wasting my time.

As required by my Dom, I publicly declare the following: I am subMeghan, and as I type this this, I am completely nude, except for my dog collar and glasses… Today’s Journal Topic Is: Why The Fuck Haven’t I Posted Any More Journal Updates! I actually get this question a lot.  Unfortunately, that’s part of the problem.  Apparently, you guys are actually reading my journals!  And why, pray tell, is that a bad thing? Well, I’m going to tell you… When I first started journaling here, I wrote as if I was speaking into the void.  I wasn’t writing for an audience, rather I was writing merely for the sake of publicly letting my inner thoughts leave my body and go forth into the vast e-universe.  I thought I was just a “voice in the wilderness” to be lost in the chasm of anonymity. It was a stream of consciousness, a flow of thoughts. It was kinda like talking outloud to yourself, not thinking anyone was listening. However… that was not the case...  You were listening.  And now you all had access to the part of my psyche that I kept hidden away, kept in the shadows, away from “polite” society.  And worse yet…  You had questions! I had mistakenly thought that CS was just another fetish website that was here today, and then be gone tomorrow like so many other sites.  Boy, was I wrong.  LOL I stopped writing because I became very self-conscious.  VERY self-conscious.  I quickly ran away from the spotlight as soon as I felt it’s light upon my exposed soul.  Who the hell am I to have the audacity to think I have anything of substance to say to a listening world? I have never liked being the center of attention.  I am a wallflower, the kind of gal that always stands at the edges of a crowd.  I am quiet, reserved, and passive.  I am a watcher, an observer - not a performer.  And certainly not, heaven forbid, an extrovert! Over time, I’ve been able to reflect.  I’ve decided to start posting again.  I suspect the tone of my journal entries will change, much like Schrodinger's cat, now that I am aware that I’m being watched.  We’ll see.  I will let this journal entry be the start of a new chapter in subMeghan’s ongoing adventure. Here’s to the journey! subMeghan    

I thought it would be a good thing to do to give people an idea of what I mean by role play. I like interrogation play. I even have a marvelous space for that. Of course there is the old but still great student and teacher or professor. Or someone might come home smelling like booze and be put through their paces and chastized for drinking and driving. I also like it when play begins hours before the scene starts. That unexpected text with instructions to put certain clamps on your nipples and or balls and or labia and to not remove them until you are given permission. Or to insert a particular item into a particular orifice to wear as long as instructed. Or all of the above, text after text after delicious text. The list goes on and my mind gets even more diabolical. One might be given a bag to take into the restroom during dinner containing implements designed to cause discomfort with instructions regarding what to do with said implements. Does any of that sound like fun to anyone but me? I can't imagine a better way to get our heads in a wonderful space for play. Except maybe that that low voice speaking into your ear... You are really in trouble when I get you home...

Yeah, I thought I would get back here sooner.. shit happens. Started getting all my medical stuff going this year.  Ugghhh. I am not looking for oral anything. My concerns this year involve going after the plastic surgeon who f'd up my reconstruction so severely it impacts the rest of my life and sue the f'er. I have to have what he did fixed. Firmly believe he shit on me because I am a medicaid patient. So, my focus is more personal health, at the same time, I have both art and print on demand stuff I am doing, my gardening is just picking up and getting busy at home, and I have an audio podcast I need to get going. On ssi at 560 a month sucks dirty dick. If you want to be submissive to me, you have to have something to offer in return, not necessarily money, but say vanilla services that help me. Otherwise, I am busy as fuck making the next 20 years of my life better.   As I usually find my relationships in person doing stuff, make it good to get my attention, or I won't waste my time. Approaching me about your needs is stupid. Lola the Iron Mistress

I don't use the term fake when describing a person who isn't suitable for Me. A bottom pushing his own needs is off my radar because an actual submissive with five years experience ar giving up authority outside of play and in life who drives his own car, who already goes to munches and clubs is IN my radar. So many on here who contact Me are not suitable so I rarely login here. Guys wonder where all the Dominant Women are? They are not on here for the reason I just gave. Pushy bottoms want a a kink service but don't go to fetish clubs to get their kink fix. There are plenty of tops at fet clubs happy to give twenty minutes of play for a drink and foot rub. Quid-pro-quo, give something in return as two human beings. Simple.  Mistress Whipplash Ma'am   

I'm not sure if this tells anyone anything other than that I occastionally take quizes online, but ...  == Results from bdsmtest dot org ==  97% Dominant  95% Degrader  95% Master/Mistress  90% Sadist  82% Owner  80% Daddy/Mommy  79% Non-monogamist  66% Primal (Hunter)  59% Brat tamer  53% Rigger  50% Switch  46% Experimentalist  37% Ageplayer  31% Boy/Girl  30% Pet  28% Vanilla  23% Brat  22% Degradee  21% Primal (Prey)  16% Submissive  15% Voyeur  10% Exhibitionist  9% Rope bunny  7% Masochist  4% Slave 

You know how it's been on my mind lately, and for a while if I'm honest, about the spinning circle of the good but not right for me guy, yes? Yesterday an opportunity presented itself and I took a deep breath and set boundaries. Literally. I said we needed better boundaries because we're just friends, right? And he said, I don't know. Here's the courageous part... I said I didn't want to be a placeholder. !!! This is huge in my world, in my head, in my learning how to value myself. Standing ovation, I'm waiting.  I am guessing he didn't take it well. He said okay. And I haven't heard a peep since. Which is part of the problem. Was. Saying you want open communication and actually doing the open communicating are two very different things. As a friend I would have listened. As a friend I care and don't want to hurt him. As anything more, severed ties. Okay, more like severed ties that were reattached and cut again several times these past two years. Just like training wheels, leaning on the comfortable and convenient, being the comfortable and convenient. I'm in a much better place than I was two years ago. I don't know if you've heard, but I set boundaries. Tell your friends.  Back to me. Of course I feel bad. Worried I hurt him. Worried the timing is all wrong. And yet... not my circus, not my monkeys. You're familiar, yes? I have to remind myself of this all the time. If I ruled the world I would move from task to task, make it efficient or pretty or whatever it needed, and then hand it off to someone to continue running with my changes so I could fix the next thing. If there is a job where you are never responsible for finishing anything you start please let me know.  Oh. Right. I'm okay. I'm not beating myself up. It was long overdue. It's what I need and I'm proud of myself for following through. Sending him positive thoughts as I move forward without monkeys. 

Women, dogs, and toys.  Women deserve to be treated like dogs and toys. Ok hear me out on this one before you light your torches and get your pitchforks.    So, think about this: is your dog abused? Is the dog of any man you'd choose abused? No...? Ok what about his Xbox? PlayStation? Wii? Any abuse there? No? Ok next point (keep reading).   Does his dog have a comfortable life? Does he go out of his way to get decent food, toys, a comfortable place to sleep?    If his gaming system ever has issues, is he quick to tend to it? Always buying it accessories and new things to play on it?    And are his dog or gaming system expected to buy anything on their own, or does he provide it all for them?   Lastly, how much time does he give to both? How involved is he on a daily basis with them?    If more Doms viewed their slaves as beloved pets and toys instead of a kinky partner, we would have far fewer abused, neglected, and used subs. If Dom's treated them like his dog or Xbox, there would be so many more happy, satisfied, and secure subs.

"life is full of endings that you never know are coming until they already pass"I wrote that quote in high school. Some of us learn and grow and im grateful that many things have been learned. Some answers will never be known for sure from my journey here in this lifetime. A new chapter is starting and perhaps the last chapter . Today i finally got to start moving things to a new home . A home that I feel will be my last but things are never certain and I have learned you have to live in the moment and ride each wave. I feel the shift of energy in the earth but I also know that things must shift so they can heal and balance. My Master Mate and Husband and I have been through many things in these last three years. We have grown and we intend to keep growing together. I have learned about the light and the dark. I have learned about walking paths. I have learned about consequences for actions. I have learned about addiction . I have learned what vanilla mindsets are like and how many of those could just things that are spiritual and misunderstood. I have definitely learned and experienced Dominance and submission through mind body soul spirit and energy. We cant protect people from all pain all we can do is try to guide but some lessons must always be learned by the being. It feels good to write, its been awhile since I sat down and let words flow. There is always new beginnings

I am English by birth, I just currently live and work here. WInters are hard and long and endlessly dark, summers are beautiful and short and endlessly bright. This is a place of extremes, where there is very little grey between the darkness and the light, much like myself. I do not plan on staying here, and when I do move on it would be nice to have company, here or, ideally, in the world. I am on Signal only. I am spiritual, born out of my time, believe shame and guilt are hurdles to be pushed past and overcome, and I behave as the situation requires. I enjoy predicament bondage, corporal punishment, and distinguish between training, discipline and punishment. My skills include, but are not limited to, orgasm control, use of canes, balancing pain and pleasure, finding things most consider difficult to find, pushing limits and boundaries, mental domination and having an extremely open mind. I am not a stranger to Gor, at all levels of commitment to its tenets. Come and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will add another name to your block list. I am an acquired taste. How about you?

Boy Speak Boy speak is what he really means when he says one thing but means another, Thinking that he is talking to his mind-reading  mother! But I think I want to say you are a prude, Means he wants his ass fucked and will be rude, Why not Goddess do that for me, Means be my dispensing unit I can see. Go on I will do the kink you want, Means no he won't it's just a taunt. Sure I want to meet but tell me now, How you'll have me cum but I won't bow. Nor will I meet or be respectful at your feet,  Says he. So a kinky twat bottom he will remain you see.     My answer is: No fetish service the dommes4U was never set, Never made active I see you lament. Lament at your loss for a second at a time, When I moved on relieved you won't be Mine.   A Dominant Woman am I to be taken on meals and fun days out, To laugh together while you Mine will happily move about, Being useful funny and sweet. That's is the real-time Slave I want at My feet.   What's that you can't cope if I am Poly, As you want a porn image Mistress-dolly. Silly boy with that boyspeak of yours pouring out, I moved on more men worth my time to chat about.

I really dislike trying people on. The awkward small talk and insincere laughing, picking through the rolodex to create temporary common ground. Sorting feelings. I don't like dating, don't like more people touching me. I am a one person person. The right person. Maybe a number of people fit that, I'm not of the soulmate mindset. Rather, a click. A feeling. A knowing. Instinct? I tried waiting. Waiting brought sadness and pizza. A lot of time in neutral. Or maybe sleeper mode, good ol' ursa time. I'm ready to wake up. Still don't want to sift through the racks for the right fit, keep your hands to yourself. Maybe just window shop for a while. Or better yet, put myself in the window and see who wants to shop. The flower and the bee, friends. Know your role.  I was in such a serious mode right there, and as I reread for autocorrect typos my dog started snoring. Sweet girl, she brings lightness to my heart. He may come, he may not, but she is mine, and sometimes that's enough. 

      Only locals Im not investing in anyone long distance. No requests, inquiries, small talk. No coffee-low effort meet ups. Stay with your loved ones if you believe anyone here deserves crumbs of your effort to validate the "potential " of your existence.  "How can you make My life better?" Isn't something I am ashamed to ask, request and demand. Slaves and subs expect energy,time,  attention, training, be allowed in My presence and into My world since most are so god damn broke to have their finances or life together.  I pity the Women in your life if your only form of sacrifice and servitude is a humiliation to you to clean or serve domestically- that is the basic, most bare minimum thing you do In your own lives- no depth, no recent photo of yourselve, no negotiating "if it works" -wtf- it's if you fit into My life, add value to it, enhance and make it better. that is the goal. Not how I make yours better since it will by Me simply being in it. That sort of knowledge of who I am in this lifestyle isnt bragging and no, I am not ashamed to put Myself first- this is why I only have energy to focus on successful masculine men( power exchange isn't an exchange if there's no POWER) most subs and slaves here are so god damn selfish. who seek to be applauded and recognixed for small low effort gestures that only benefit them.  tips: Read journals interests and profile before sending messages.you will not be for everyone. Not everyone will be for you. If they have blank page, move on.  Learn more about yourself and who you are in this lifestyle. The foundation in knowing who you are and what’s your purpose and goal will help you find the right person.  If you're a sub or a slave- Is not about you. It’s what you can do for Me/dominants. Hire a pro if you approach with an specific fantas, demand, requirement. Do not submit to just anyone, it can be dangerous for you and the other person- don’t be in a rush.      Nothing personal if I don't message back to everyone, or block you, but I’ve trained and get invested in people over the years- their lives. Someone new that right out of the bat says they are new and don’t even have much; money, time, energy, focus… for Me- doesn’t interest Me. I am very interested in POWER EXCHANGE. No power? you don't have My interest. I am interested in My well being, My stability, all I have attained and accomplished in My professional, businesses and personal life. and I care far too much and get invested way too much with subs and slaves for those who are too comfortable or seek banal superficial connection or a fantasy sexual release.   

strength is gone I am so done being strong im breaking and shattering like a broken mirror i cant stand this feeling im breaking down and i am so annoyed with myself but taking it out on everyone around me as i lay here tonight theres not much more i can take the tears are shedding and my self confidence is non existing just what i fucking need im still breathing so i guess thats an upside but fuck it all im so done pretending that im okay and if you cant accept me the way i am than whats the point of being my friend im just so over it

Update---- I've tried adding new pictures several times again and it just don't work. I've tried deleting all of my old pictures from 3 years ago but they stay and you're lucky if even one new picture comes once they finally approve  your pictures. I remember the old site, collarme and it was awesome. It was a couple that started that site and when they broke up, the male partner insisted he be the one to keep this site going. She warned us all that this site would become a train wreck and omg how right she was!    I'm hardly ever on here anymore. It's too hard to even send out messages with the f'ed upward puzzle that often fails to recognize that you got the puzzle right. Etc etc etc.  What a shame is all I can say.   Omg I hate this site so bad, it is so fucked up!! I tried to remove one photo and add a recent one..  So I'm down for two days, comes back on and no changes were made.  I have much better pictures now, these are all from 3 years ago.  I've since learned to use makeup much better and have been on hormones for 15 months and I'm much more feminine now.  I guess I'm stuck with what's on here..  Unbelievable!!!! 

Master's WritingsCategorizing Levels of SubmissionOthers, in an attempt to categorize submissives, have described submissives by the levels of their submission, moving from role play to slave, while others suggest there are distinct categories of submission, where the motivation behind one’s submission drives their role such as for fantasy, relationship and/or fetish. Acknowledging that all submissives are different and any such categories could only apply in the loosest of terms, I find both model instructive in its own way, yet somehow missing the mark in some aspaspects.The creators of both models clearly identified that each individual submissive is unique and comes to their submission and depth of submission in their own way for their own purpose. And to this, I completely agree. Yet we are humans and we live to label things, so I will offer my own model, recognizing full well that mine too will fall short of describing all submissives and their motivations. I would also note that what I suggest here may have already been put forth. If so, I offer this only as my own ideas without the knowledge of their contribution to our body of knowledge. Thus I would offer a third model for consideration and discussion.I see it more a kin to the structure of Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs, Where Maslow identifies our most basic needs, moving from basic survival to self-actualization, I see submissions moving from role play to self-realization. The model I put forth is as follows:     Role play. A connection to the role based on whatever preconceptions or second hand knowledge they may have. While one might act the part, they have no emotional or mental connection to the role.     Exploration. The beginning stages of submissive awareness where thru trial and error or training, real experiences begin the development of a connection to a submissive’s awareness and one's submissive self. This level usually includes an over indulgence or over compensation of doing what they think a sub "should do".     Connection. The birth of inner connectedness to one’s submissive self, and the realization of what it feels like to give of one’s self to another. Hallmarked by a greater sense of self awareness, a growing identity as a submissive and a struggling to reconcile their submissive life with their vanilla life.     Identity and Belonging. The inner awareness and shift of self-identity as a submissive or having submissive side (as in a switch), as a genuine and acknowledged part of their persona. While they may not share this openly with others, inwardly there is a growing conviction that being a submissive is core to their being. While connection can occur at any stage, at this stage, connection to a Dominant becomes more essential to allow for further growth.     Confidence. As identity as a submissive grows and self-esteem relating to the role increases, their confidence of self grows. The focus can now be more inward to understand their submissive needs, who they are as a submissive, and the beginning of blending their submissive self into their vanilla life and identity.     Self-Realization and Connectedness to their Id. Full acceptance of their new identity, as submission is fully integrated into their sense of self. Submission can now fuel their lives and relationships with greater meaning and richer experiences as they fully integrate their submissive-self into their vanilla life. Not every submissive will reach or choose to reach this level. I would welcome comments and ideas for the improvement of this model if others see value in it. 

Living in a fantasy world doesn’t help anyone—not you, not the people around you, not the future you claim to want. Being useful means showing up in reality, doing the work, learning real skills, and taking responsibility instead of escaping into excuses or imaginary victories. Dreams matter, but without action they’re just noise. Ground yourself, contribute something real, and turn effort into results—that’s how you actually move forward. I often find Myself not wanting to come back on this site , for reasons of giving My time to men that are basically all talk and no action.  Don't take that the wrong way. I'm not looking for a " play partner " I'm not a pro and I'm not looking for a hit or miss situation.  I am only looking for fulltime and hopefully lifetime commitments.  I get so many on here that are basically saying the same thing. They are looking for a FLR, they are looking for this or that. What I am saying is I'm looking for someone that will add to My life. Hopefully someone with skills, around the house, a garden, willing to learn almost a very different life that I an pressed forward into living.  Even if you are only a background male that is willing to learn what I am capible of teaching, that is good enough.  But, if you are from the city I promise you , you will probably struggle and not understand what real country life is about.  In that case you should pass by this profile and looking for a wuss position in the city .   

A typical day requires service at almost all times. I am served tea in bed as we begin our day, and meals are all prepped and planned. You wake first, fetch me my tea, a few digestive biscuits, and the paper, and then join me in bed to read me an article of my choosing while I sip. Some days when it is warmer, we take this outside, but most days it is in the comfort of bed while we are nude.   After this, we both have breakfast together. Usually you will cook, but some days I will announce that i feel like it and cook. These are healthy meals that focus on protein and good fats.   Then, we both work from home. I enjoy my work at a non-profit, taking breaks to to be with each other (lunch, walks, or you kneeling in prostration/worship as needed, etc). In the evening, we order in, cook, or go out. These all have rituals associated with them that are meticulously refined for both our benefit - what we eat, how we look, and what happens are important metrics of keeping you thoughtless and spotless. You represent me, and I will NOT be embarrassed.   We play board games,read, or watch a program as the evening draws to a close. Then we head to bed, where I do my beauty routine and have you serve me as part of it. This means providing hot water, ice, and towels as needed.   We head to bed, with me getting in bed first and you being caged, kneeling, or joining me if I decide to use you for my pleasure. I do like to be warm and to cuddle, so some nights I require just that and you serve me admirably.

  slave rules slave must only use the 3rd person to refer to itself slave must confess that is is just an or garbage slave must always be honest slave may not have dignity or respect of any kind slave must show total respect for Master or any humans slave may not speak without permission slave make not look at its Master without permission or look at other humans slave is always wrong if its Master or another human tells it so slave may not use a human name slave must always accept punishment, abuse, or a beating if it pleases its Owner Master slave may only live if it pleases her Owner Master slave must never close its legs, they always must be apart its holes must be available to its Master any time or any place  it must use every part of its body to please Master  slave must always be nude when it pleases its Masters   slave must be chained or tie up any time it pleases Master  slave must dress any way its Master orders it to dress  slave may never talk back or say "NO" to her Master  slave must always speak in a low sweet voice  slave may never own anything   slave may never use big words or else it must be punished  slave Master has complete control of how it moves: walk, crawl, speak, breaths, kneel, etc  slave must worship its Master’s cock and all of his body  slaves Master pleasure matters, its pleaser means nothing  slave must never edge its self without permission or take any sexual pleasure without permission slave dignity or feelings are worthless slave must not sit or use human furniture unless it is given permission  slave must ask to enter or leave a room slave must ask to poo or pee  slave must whip, cane, or abuse its body when ordered to  slave must drink piss, cum, spit when it is ordered to  slave may not remove spit, cum, or piss from its body unless it is ordered to  slave must not sleep unless order to  slave must use degrading names when it refers to its self, for example: piss pot, cunt, inferior human, cum bucket, ugly, pig, whore, sick o, tits, ass hole, cunt hole, slave, fuck toy,   slave may never speak to another human without permission slave must thank Master for using it, for allowing it to cum slave must clean off Master's great cock after he is done using it slave must perform any sexual act that it is ordered to do, no matter how degrading, painful or humiliating slave must write down every single thought is has for its Owner Master's review slave must sleep on the floor, or in its cage, cell when it is not serving its Master slave must eat on the floor and its food must be cold with little taste unless it is given permission to eat people's food. its hands must always be behind its back slave must now beg for anything it needs, food, water, etc, it must beg to be punished, abuse, beaten also     ***slave may be punished or abuse or beaten because it deserves it because it is inferior, stupid, weak, and worthless cunt   ***slave must repeat its rules over and over every day

Life can be very funny. Some conversations start with uncertainty but over time blossom into connections you treasure, while others can feel very good at the start but then feel as if something is off. I have been talking with a couple for some time. They were primarily a cuckold couple, with a development path of increasingly rough, forceful sex, but they had had one encounter with a professional Dominant sometime back, when she was flogged and evidently reached subspace without knowing what actually happened. Let's just say they understand the psychology and physiology much better now that we have been talking. Lately, there have been emerging signs that "he" is a sadist. "She" thinks she is a masochist because she has a high pain threshold, but she isn't. She is a hedonist who loves her husband. Turns out all they wanted was someone, me(?), to turn up and flog her arse mercilessly, driving her to sobbing hysteria on her way to subspace (hopefully). He wants her tears, crying inconsolably as she is beaten. I am not judging - each to his own - but it became clear that what they want is not who I am - not even who I might be. So today I told them. I was met with an "OK. Thank you. Goodbye." and was then immediately cut off from contact. They shared the account (I think) - of course, it could all be a sham - but I think it was "him" who did the terminating. Sometimes right is right and wrong is simply wrong. I do feel better knowing I stayed true to me, but I do wonder where they go next. Back to that Dom in Spain?

  The BDSM lifestyle is often thought of as painful play and humiliation.  Bruises and degradation.  Is the kink lifestyle all pain and shame?  Is there more to discover……  

The Kink Vending Machine Dec 17, 2017   So, you want to submit. You want to be Topped. You want to find a Dominant Woman to whom to submit, and who will probably Top you.   I get it. I really do. It's just like all other relationships - we need something, and we can only really get it from other people. We want sex. Sexual gratification is possible without other people, but almost everyone agrees that it's not nearly as gratifying as it is WITH someone else. We want love. We can love ourselves, and we can love others, but most of the time, we have a powerful need to receive it from someone else. We want to do… stuff. Sex stuff, relationship stuff, life stuff, and yes, again, some of it can be done by ourselves, but mostly, we want someone to do it with, or to do it TO us. We want a someone. Lots of us want our own special someone, who is OUR someone, and for whom we are THEIR special someone in return. Or at least one of their special someones. And let's face it - sometimes we get lonely. Or we get needy. Or we just really want to do that fucking cool thing RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!!!! And then we can get a little…. fixated. That "someone special" starts to look more and more like "someone who will" and then "anyone who will" and then to just "anyone."   But almost NONE of us want to be "just anyone" to someone else. "I didn't get their name" is the joke we see all over to denote a space filler, a warm body, without memorable characteristics. Not special at all, in other words. Forgettable. Not important enough to bother with as an actual person. Just a means to an end.   Completely interchangeable with any other "anyone" we can get hold of when we need one.   About as special as a vending machine.   You need a coke, you go find a machine, pop in your dollar, soda pops out, and you move on. The machine? You barely noticed it when you were feeding it money. You sure as shit don't value it. And you forget it the second you pop that can.   Not flattering.   Here's the crux of the problem - if you will kneel to anyone who lets you, then when you kneel to me, you aren't kneeling TO ME - you're just kneeling because you like to kneel. It's the same as telling me that I'm no one special, and I could be swapped out with anyone and you'd be fine with that. It makes everything I am … nothing. Meaningless. Worthless.   Well, to you, at least.   All the years I spent working on learning how to communicate in a healthy, assertive, honest and open way… they don't matter. All the work I put into learning what makes a good Dominant? The same. All of the time I took educating myself on what makes a bad Dominant? Who cares? Any skills I built because they would give my submissive a better experience? Nada. All of the things that make me Dominant, or a good lover, or a good partner, hell, that make me a good person? Not worthy of notice.   Everything I am, everything I've made myself, everything I value about myself, has no value to someone like that.   They aren't looking at my profile and thinking "DAMN this person sounds amazing!" They aren't reading my writings and falling a little bit in love with my mind. They aren't seeing what I post about how Dominants and Submissives should treat each other and wishing that could be them.   That person… the one who kneels to anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat? THAT person saw a pretty face, got a woody, (or let's be honest, had a woody before they even logged on and are just looking for something to wank it to) and dropped to their digital knees because that’s what they want out of it all - to feel grovel-ish, to play pretend without admitting that to the other person, to rub one out to their fantasy of a Dominant Woman who would do to them the things that they saw in some porn vid. That person is 100% focused on getting something they want. They don't care where they get it, or even about the quality of what they get. They want what they want, and everything else is irrelevant

Heyyyy! Journals are back and we can communicate like humans again. My profile is mostly blank because nothing ever got approved. In all seriousness, when I started my own business a few years ago the pressure and time demands of that forced everything to take a back seat. I lost a wonderful slave girl who just never got to see me enough and the rare times I would see my friends they would all say I looked different. In the end, the sacrifices and 120hr work weeks were worth it. I've succeeded way beyond anything I expected and now have friends and employees that take over a lot of the burden. At the end of the year (weeks away!) I am completing a 2 year contract and I expect to have as much time off as I want and resources to get back into some of the projaspects I was working on and purchase/develop some new machinery. This time around I would ideally like to find someone with the same interests and hobbies as I have, that way my work and home life don't clash so forcefully where I am in some awful position of choosing one. What I'm seeking doesn't have to be some kind of romantic thing with THE ONE (although that's ideal). I'm willing to chat and help out with interesting people and their projaspects. Send me a message if you have any questions or want to see anything cool!

Covid is over and we had our first play party in two years!Our BDSM circle consists of six Master and slave couples and our family of Master James Mistress Tabitha and myself. It was more of a bondage orgy than anything else. The only rule was that no Master could fuck his own slave.As the men recovered us slaves were encouraged to lick each other into a blissful state.We thought that it was just going to be nothing but play. Master Steven came into the room with a gallon ziplock bag of peeled ginger roots. Us slaves were told to get into a circle, drop to our hands and knees and each slave was given a ginger root to insert into her slave sisters ass.If you have never had a peeled ginger root in your ass it is, well...... The truth is that you don't know if you should shit, piss or cum or do all three all at once. It is an overwhelming series of sensations. Should you decide to try this for the first time use the ginger as soon as you peel it. If you wish to make the pain almost unberable then peel the ginger root and put it in a baggie overnight first. The ginger root will "sweat" and the sensations will be greatly amplified.It was so very delightful to cuddle with my slave sisters once again. Family is the most precious of all the worlds gifts. Family need not be by blood but just created out of love, respect and appreciation for the others in your group. We are blessed!  slave janet

I just saw a profile that consisted of only a BDSM test. When I read it I realized something that is missing and likely is the most important thing. Where is the reference to interest in a real life encounter? Where is any reference relating to an actual time frame of when it might occur? So many of the kink or BDSM tests address interests but do not differentiate between those who want to masturbate to being a rope bunny and those who honestly want to be a rope bunny tomorrow, a week or a month from now. Being interested in being a slave is totally different than being a slave.  Someone who has slave tendencies or wants to be a slave someday is a waste of my time.  While I try to be understanding, I do not want to spend weeks, months, or years getting to know someone who might someday meet me in real life. I do not have any interest in exchanging erotica or demanding pornography.  If someone is not willing and able to leave their current life for a year or two, it does not mean that they are fake.  That is worth repeating, If someone is not willing and able to leave their current life, it does not mean that they are fake.  It does mean that even though our interest may align our timeline does not. I am mentally, emotionally and financially stable and could move a slave into my home anytime.  I can take care of myself and do not need a slave.  Having a slave in my home makes my life more comfortable.  My slave does all of my domestic duties, I provide rituals, structure and you will not be required to work outside my home or office. I do not want to rescue a woman who is in desperate need to leave her fucked up life.  I do not need to complicate my life with a whole lot of drama.  I accept that everyone will come with a certain amount of baggage but I live a happy, peaceful life in paradise. I am looking for a woman who has a desire to fully commit to a life as my slave.  Expereince, age, location is not as important as the desire and ability to meet in real life.  If you are at a point in your life where you are prepared to relocate within a resonable time then we should talk.

I regularly get messages asking me what I consider edge play or what is an "extreme" scene that I have done. A few thoughts on this. First, and most importantly, my adventures are no one else's fapping material. I have met people off this site before, but that is more of an exception than a regularity. Sharing something like a story, which is very intimate, or a scene, is asking a lot right off the bat and is something that no one is entitled to. What is considered edge is going to be different for each of us? I am not here to one-up on someone or compare sausages. What is taboo to me? Having someone viewing another person on camera might not seem hardcore, but having cameras set up 24/7 to view on-demand is.  Going out to dinner may not seem hardcore, but my footing the bill can be edgy. Humiliating play may not be edgy, but when you consider mental health, it can be as sharp as a physical knife edge. If you are not on the same wavelength as I am, you will miss the subtleties of how sharp my edge is. 

Don't ask me for my number when we first chat   As a dominant myself, I have often encountered situations where people assume that just because I am dominant, I am always looking for new submissives and will readily share my personal information with anyone who asks. This could not be further from the truth. Being a dominant is not just about controlling and dominating others; it is also about respecting boundaries and building trust with a submissive partner.   When someone asks me for my number or contact information without even getting to know me, it not only shows a lack of respect for boundaries but also highlights a lack of understanding about the dynamics of a dominant-submissive relationship. As a dominant, I take the responsibility of my partner's physical and emotional well-being very seriously, and I cannot fulfill that responsibility with just anyone who asks for my number.   Another reason I am hesitant to give out my personal information to someone I have just met is that it takes time to build trust and establish a connection with a potential partner. BDSM is not just about physical acts; it involves a deep level of trust and understanding between partners. As a dominant, I need to know that my partner understands and respaspects my boundaries, and vice versa. This level of trust and understanding cannot be achieved through a simple exchange of phone numbers.   Moreover, just because I am a dominant does not mean I am always looking for new partners. Like anyone else, I have a life outside of BDSM and have other interests and responsibilities. Asking for my number without getting to know me first shows a lack of regard for my personal life and boundaries.   It is also essential to note that being a dominant does not mean that I am immune to rejection or unwanted advances. Just like anyone else, I have the right to choose who I want to engage with and who I do not. Asking for my number without even getting to know me is not only disrespectful but also puts me in an uncomfortable position.   In conclusion, just because someone identifies as a dominant does not mean they are always on the lookout for new partners or willing to share their personal information with strangers. As with any relationship, trust and mutual understanding take time to develop. So, if you are interested in getting to know a dominant, take the time to build a connection and respect their boundaries. Only then can you expect them to share their personal information with you.

In my latest writing called, The Fitting Room... my characters meets a younger, submissive woman named Beth. I am looking for my own Beth... like the woman I imagined in my writing. if you are intrigued ... message me :) ======== The Fitting Room: Part 1 | Beth .... (erotica) We met in the fitting room of a local boutique. I had just tried on my new dress and came out to stand in front of the large 3-piece mirror. It was one of those faux wrap around dresses and I really liked the pattern and material. I had my hair clipped up and wanted to see what it would look like with my hair down. I took the clip out and shook my hair.. fluffed it a bit with my fingers, and stared. Turned... even lifted my breasts a little, as if to say... 'Get up there girls.. knockers up'. As I was standing there staring at my reflection.... the door to the fitting room closest to the mirror opened up and a younger woman stepped out. I assumed she wanted to get a look at herself in the mirror so I smiled.. and stepped aside. She stepped ahead of me to stand in front of the mirrors, and like I did.. she turned and looked at her new dress. She was easily 20-25 years younger than me and I thought of where I was in my life at that age. She had long dark hair and the dress accentuated her curves. I found myself wondering what she looked like without the dress on. I had told my Daddy that I was curious about being with another woman. Feeling another woman's breasts... her curves... tracing her bottom lip with my thumb... leaning in for a very full and sensuous kiss. I wondered to myself if this younger woman standing in front of me had ever thought those kinds of thoughts about another woman. I cleared my throat and said, 'That looks really good on you'. I looked her up and down and met her eyes directly. She stared for a moment, and then looked down and blushed. 'Thank you.. but I'm not sure if I should get it.', she said. 'I had ordered it for a party I was going to go to with my girlfriend, but we broke up. When the store called me to say the dress was in, I wasn't sure if I should have told them that I had changed my mind.. or come in and try it on.' She sighed and looked down at the floor, and bit her bottom lip. When she looked up, I could see she was holding back tears. 'Oh goodness', I said. 'It'll be alright... you'll see.' I touched her shoulder to show some comfort, and she smiled a bit -- but she still wore that sadness that only a recent break-up can bring. She was still examining herself in the mirror and asked, 'So... what's the occasion for your new dress?' Well... I smiled rather big and blushed really hard. How was I going to tell this woman that I had bought this dress for a rather special.. and very sexy dining experience? One where.. I was going to be.. the meal. I decided to put my big girl panties on and take a chance. 'I needed to wear something extra special for a dinner that my.... Daddy, is putting together.', I said. I watched her facial expression to see if I could detect if she knew what I was talking about. I was curious if she was in the lifestyle or knew about Daddies and Master's, etc.   She blinked a couple of times and cleared her throat and said, 'Oh.. your Daddy is having a party for you?'.. and her smile said it all. She had a sweet smile, and was biting her bottom lip again. She knew.. and she now knew that I knew, she knew. 'Yes.. He is.', I said. I smiled and stepped around her back and we both looked in the mirror. I came in close to her ear.. still maintaining eye contact with her in the mirror. 'After my Daddy helps me take off this new dress, I will be helped onto a table to lie down so his guests can eat food off of my body... among other things.' She smiled then and said, 'Really?', to which I replied, 'Absolutely', and leaned in a little more. 'Are you a good girl or a dirty little slut?', I asked in almost a whisper. I watched her in the mirror and saw her slightly rub her legs together and reply, almost automatically, 'I'm a dirty little slut, Ma'am.' I could see her flush start to creep from her face, down her neck and travel downward.. and I smiled to myself. I knew right away.. she was a very good girl.. and I was already thinking she would be a very good little slut for me and my Daddy. 'You wouldn't like to come to this party.. would you?', I asked. 'Really? Yes Ma'am, I would really like that.', she stammered. I swear I felt giddy at how sweet she looked right then. 'I'm sure my Daddy will be pleased that I'm bringing a... special guest. He is always very pleased when he knows I have met a good girl who wants to serve and please both of us. ', I said. "You would like to serve and please both of us, correct?' 'Oh Yes Ma'am.. Yes. I would like that!, she said. 'Oh gosh.. where are my manners.. my name is Beth', and she stuck out her hand to shake mine. I smiled and took her hand in mine. Her handshake was strong and firm. I liked it. 'I'm pleased to meet you, Beth. You may call me, Ma'am for now.. maybe Sis in the future', I said. 'Here is my card. You will call me tomorrow but in the meantime, may I call you later tonight?' She gave me her phone number to put in my phone, and her email. 'Yes Ma'am.. I would really like that.', she replied. 'Good girl... we'll talk later then.', I said. With that.. I walked back to my fitting room, stepped in and shut the door behind me. She had no idea how hard my heart was beating and how nervous I was. I opened a new text message and typed.... "Hi Daddy.. you're never going to believe what happened while I was at the boutique picking up my dress for the party...." To be continued.....   Written 07/06/2024 MPH 💜

I thought I knew what was wrong. But I saw a specialist and they talked medical blah blah and so for a few weeks I've been walking around thinking I have a rare cancer. Tests were ordered, biopsies taken, more specialists, antibiotics prescribed. I started mental checklists so if it's worse case scenario I get shit done before I'm not capable. I cried a lot. The not knowing of so many important things that might mean everything. Or nothing. Tests coming back inconclusive, waiting on next steps. It's a lot to add to your agenda since the world doesn't stop for a new crisis. It's tiring to be this stressed.  After all of this, the tests, the time, the tears, that first specialist agreed with my original diagnosis. If they would have listened to me on that first visit I'd be healed by now. Fuck silver linings, I'm pissed.  Not out of the woods just yet, one more specialist to go. But it's looking good enough that I can be uppity about the whole situation. Still, fingers crossed, okay? Thanks. 

I am not looking for casual, short term or long distance anything.  If that's you move along With you an an experienced Slave or Submissive on a daily basis ( not solely a play bottom for the bedroom = no thanks) who lives in London/Essex/Kent. Don't bother if you are more than 2 hours from those locations. 

I lead a successful professional life, but my true fulfillment lies in relinquishing control within a dynamic. I crave the purpose and peace that come from serving, embracing structure, discipline, and the sense of belonging that ownership provides. I offer unwavering loyalty, trust, and honest communication to any connection we build.I seek a strong, confident Dominant who thrives in their role as a leader and values devotion and obedience. If you cherish control and commitment, I’m ready to follow your lead and support you fully.

Questions. So many questions. Yet the answers are spares.   He is eager to absorb her wants, desires, needs and emotional bounty hidden inside her.   What makes her tick?  What motivates you to please?  Where is it she will finally call home?  The place where she trusts and lives with every fiber of herself at peace.  Where her soul feels like it's found its long lost companionship in order to make it feel complete. A place where safety, security, loving protection and care are a given and never have to be second guessed.  Those emotions buried so deep within her longing to be shared yet hidden, guarded so well behind the many scars. Her eyes are telling and the roadmap to her life. Filled with betrayal, abandonment, pain and hurt. Yet there is a tiny glimmer still there. One that could easily be overlooked if one were distracted not looking for it. To the untrained eye, which is distracted  by the shell the real being resides in, only beauty is noticed. Missed are the healing needs that require his attention the most. No, its more than a need! It is a desired necessity! One that needs trust and love to be shown before he can hope to heal it. "Allow me a few glimpses inside you please." He whispers. The list of questions is long. The answers provide insight and are lessons to absorb.   Time is not his ally it is his foe. Yet time is what is needed the most. Oh my dear. Why do your answers allude me so? Open the door just a crack and allow my warming light to take a glimpse.

When punishing a girl, a discerning owner will not restrain her. The purpose of punishment is to teach a lesson and that lesson is usually one of helping her learn control. Sometimes of what she says, other times of what she does or doesnt do. She has to learn a better way, to understand the needs of the one she serves, and to behave accordingly. When I punish it is with a cane. The girl is bent over something like a bed or desk or chair, and allowed to get set into a position. My preferred place for punishment is over a desk, arms either outstretched in front or to the sides, legs spread but not excessively, and the girl's rear exposed. Then I use chalk to mark where her hands and feet are and we begin. The rules are simple. No outbursts or the count starts over. No lifting hands or feet or the count starts over. If the chalk lines are excessively smudged, the count starts over. She counts. She may ask permission for an interlude, but if she does so without good reason then the count starts again. If she cannot control herself when it is wholly to her benefit to do so, then perhaps this is not the world for her. If she can, then the punishment serves its purpose, she atones and life moves on to more pleasurable things. Either way, his will be done should be the mantra on every girls lips.

My theory is you can't just walk awayIt's all about balance in the spiritual realm You have to choose a sideOnce you choose a side you are trapped like in hunger games but on a higher level on a spiritual level No matter what side you choose the other side's going to come after you The only way out of it is to just go into the dark shield and exist no more but you can't do that either because you'd feel guilty because of all of your loved ones it's all part of the higher level of mental bondage .. Wouldn't this make a great movie And as far as men goes it always starts out great in the beginning but all the stuff they tell you is hardly ever true it's just setting the trap

LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR I have tried to make my profile very clear but seems men still do not get it. So Ill put it here so we do not waste each others time. I have had cancer, I am clear now.  You wont catch it from me. Due to treatment PIV is very painful and uncomfortable.  Oral on me is also very uncomfortable  So sex is not on the table which does not mean  there cant be sexual things for a sub but, sex is not the focus.  BDSM does not have to be all about sexual play. So if what you want is not a FLR or submissive but really want to have kinky play focusing on you getting to focus on sexual pleasure then please move along.  I am over hearing I would be perfect for you and how you would happily travel to spend time with me and then when you learn that you are not going to be screwing me  you vanish. 

As far back as I can remember, I've had a compulsion to be with alpha males. Even as young as 6 or 7, I remember fantasizing what it would be like to be kidnapped by men, tied up and taken away. I suppose that says something about my early childhood, but what difference does that make now. And it wasn't that I hated my family. I just wanted to be the property of a strong older man.    Somewhere around that time I began trying self bondage. I would take my mother's supply of ace bandages, go up into the hot, humid attic and tie myself as best I could and fantasize about being some man's captive. Occasionally I would hear “what are you doing up there” and I'd have to spit the sock out of my mouth and come up with some passable answer. I don't remember ever getting caught but there were many near-misses.   We lived directly across from a factory where my father worked and from my bedroom I could watch all these macho blue collar workers file in clean and then file out sweaty and dirty. I was always mesmerized, especially when they were sweaty and dirty.    I'm rusty these days and not as agile as I used to be, but serious bondage was always one of my favorite fetishes. People would ask why and I would always say “there's freedom in bondage.” Freedom to go within and see what you can take and how much deeper you can go in your submission. And then there's the freedom of letting someone I trust take control of me and make my decisions for me.   I've always been hard-wired to be submissive to superior men. It's my nature. To be in the service of men is still the driving force in my life.   If you're reading this far and find yourself interested, I appreciate that deeply but I'm not available at the moment. I'm caring for an 80+ year-old Dom that I've known forever. I'm not even in the US. I park myself in Nevada on this site because there are very few people who understand my needs where I am.   I've been on this site for almost 10 years. First journal entry because I'm bored and a bit lonesome at times. I still feel the need to be owned and probably always will. I'll just have to be patient like a good sub.

Intentional Inequality Every so often I come across an image, video, a passage that strikes me a certain way or fascinates me. Often times it conceptualizes a broad concept I've had in my head. I found one recently that has stuck with me. "Consensual romantic inequality" or as I prefer it "Consensual intimate inequality" Dominance based upon the myth of your own superiority is simply uncritical, a zero sum game that you can never actually win. This is separate of course from the synergistic idea that if you wish to dominate you should strive to become the best version of yourself even if it takes you a lifetime. My dominance is about having a vision and a will to pursue it, it is based upon a hunger inside me, and simply what is the reality in which everything in me aligns. I do not convince, pursue, coerce, or force. Likewise I do not subscribe to the concept of submission as a form of weakness or incapability. You are not inferior simply because submission calls to you. It takes a considerable amount of personal fortitude to engage in authentic submission, of course I'm not including submission that isn't submission. Many times submissives can be incredibly put together and competent of course once you move past their defenses you realize how empty and lost they actually are inside. Not because of incapability but because they are not living the reality in which everything aligns.

 xxbeautifulxliexx