Shutting people out is confusing to me. It was one of the very first coping mechanisms I learned early in life, and it worked well. I used it often. Or, you know, all the time. By the time I learned it wasn't healthy it was too late. In the spirit of self-improvement I put effort into salvaging relationships when I could push past my initial reaction of shutting out, which wasn't often. Much more difficult for me and against every instinct I had. Those weren't always done in a healthy or whole way, either. Ignoring things instead of addressing them, having the other person react in the opposite way of what was expected. I struggled a lot with the what and the how. I still do. Only now, circling back to shutting people out, it's acceptable and encouraged in some instances. When the hell did that happen? How do you determine when it's the right move? After years of trying to undo the shutout it feels wrong. Right, but wrong. Like I've given up. Like I'm falling back on an isolating coping mechanism. Facts are facts and they may stack the deck for motive, but I can't help but feel like I'm the emotionally stunted person using her go-to move. I think about this a lot. Is it right? Or is it just easy? 

To be a Domme   This ideology (that you have to peg someone to dominate them) is everything that is wrong with femdom porn.   I don’t need to penetrate anything other than your mind to dominate you.   Dominance is not about penetration.   Exchanging power is not about penetration.   I assert my dominance by being dominant.   I can lay back, have you penetrate me, and I am still in control simply because I am dominant.   I can suck your cock, have your cock penetrate my mouth, and I am still in control simply because I am dominant.   I can go on all fours, have your cock penetrate my ass, and I am still in control simply because I am dominant.   No act is inherently dominant or submissive.  Most especially penetration.   BDSM and D/s is not about the things that you can do - it is how you love.

Unknown I felt His finger touch my face. I wanted to tilt toward it, to nuzzle and feel more of Him, but He pulled away quickly. I resisted the urge to twist my head to see if I could feel Him still close, my focus soon turned to the sounds on my right. I could hear paper rustling and then a loud, metallic clank, followed by the sound of a lighter. The ensuing heat told me he'd started a fire in the fireplace and I squirmed a bit, hopefully not enough he could see. I had no idea what his intentions were but now things were getting hotter. I twitched when I felt him again. He was behind me, his hands guiding me to stand, and I did so nervously. Still no words, but I could feel him against my backside. I wanted to wriggle closer, I wanted so desperately to "know" him in more than just the words on a screen. I felt his breath on the edge of my ear and a soft whisper, "kathi, open your shirt, undo your bra and free those tits for Me." I gasped at the sound of his voice. It was just a whisper so I still really didn't know what he sounded like. His voice was so soft, barely audible, but I was intent on obeying. As my hands started to undo my buttons, he gently turned me so that the fireplace was no longer on my right, but behind me. And I felt that heat as he moved away. I swallowed hard wondering what he intended, wondering if I'd lost all commonsense. Yet, I still did as he said, my muscles in my cunt clenching without my conscious effort. My breathing deepened, and I could feel the slight sheen of sweat on my body as the heat continued to grow. My hands fell to my sides, my breasts exposed to him. I remembered him looking at the pictures I'd sent him and I wondered if the pictures held up to the real things. I heard him now in front of me, he'd been watching me reveal myself to him. The front of my body felt almost as warm as the backside was getting though it wasn't from the fireplace. His hands touched me again, this time, longer, cupping my face, sliding down my neck, slowly, sliding under my bra straps and blouse that still covered my shoulders, and running down my arms, the clothing fell away. He moved his hands to my heavy breasts, his fingers toying with my nipples that grew harder at his touch. They grew taut and pulled, I bit my bottom lip to keep from moaning, to keep from squirming. I still had no idea what his face looked like. I wondered if he approved, I wondered if he were smiling. His palms rubbed over my pale, soft skin of my breasts, cupping them, holding them. He pulled on a nipple, squeezed and tugged with one hand, his other hand still caressing the other breast. No words, just his hands, his fingers tracing the curves of my breasts and alternating with pinches and twists. He moved away and I broke from the trance his touch had created. I swallowed hard again and tried to gather my thoughts, tried to think of something other than my cunt. I didn't know this man, yet it didn't matter. I could hear the good angel telling me to be wary, the sound of the throbbing deep inside me blocking out her voice. I felt the rope begin to wrap around one breast, his hands back and caressing, guiding the rope tightly around one, the squeezing growing as the shape of my breast changed to be more round, more orb-like. It stood out, my nipple hardening to a point, then the other breast being wrapped. I could feel the sweat from the heat on my back running down my back now. I thought I could almost feel my wetness from my cunt meeting it, but I was still wearing my skirt, so perhaps that wasn't true. I couldn't tell. My heart was pounding, my clit was throbbing and I nothing but his toy at that moment. My breasts throbbed as the blood was forced into the constricted confines, his hands rubbing over them almost as though he were fascinated with how they looked. Then they were gone. I startled, the trance again broken but his hands were on my shoulders now, gently pressing me downward. I resumed the position I'd been in when he walked in, only now the fireplace was behind me. I heard the zipper on his pants and I knew what was next. I hoped I was right… He rubbed his cock against my face, and this time he let me nuzzle him. I got to feel him along my cheek, my lips. Somehow I knew that hands weren't permitted this time, just my mouth. He was giving me that chance to know him, to feel him, and I wasn't going to lose any time. His precum moistened my lips as I kissed and caressed his cap with my lips. I turned my head and ran my mouth along his hard shaft, my tongue delicately brushing over his skin, my own caresses mimicking those he'd given my breasts. The tip of my nose nuzzled under him as my lips explored his balls. Back to his cap, I parted my lips slightly and he pushed forward, my mouth opening wider to accommodate him, he began thrusting forward, slowly at first each forward movement going a bit deeper each time. His hands went to my hair and he pressed my face into him, he held me there and I inhaled his scent as I tried to breathe. When he had finished, when I had swallowed and licked him clean, his hand brushed against my cheek, then he helped me back to my feet. I rocked unsteadily and he drew close and kissed my lips, his tongue running over them, letting my tongue meet his for just a moment, then he pulled away. He slowly unwrapped the rope on my breasts, his fingers caressing again, easing the pain as the engorged orbs slowly turned back to the way they were before his arrival. Then, feeling him close again, he whispered… "next time…"

    Hi, my name is Infinite Arms and I’m a masochist. I mean let’s be honest, you’ve got to be to keep attempting to navigate this shit hoping for a decent outcome.  I’m a physical masochist - being hit / given physical pain makes me happy (read very wet) but I’m also a massive emotional and psychological masochist.  The physical bit is easy enough - plenty of people will hit you with hitty things, less people with hit you with fisty things, even less people will cut you, break the occasional rib, but there are people.  The emotional and psychological masochism is the difficult part I’m finding, but my circumstances are probably a big factor in that. I’m married - we met through kink and we still do kink when life allows. But we both have other facets we indulge outside our relationship. I won’t tell you his, he can do that, but mine is very much focussed on someone being mean to me.  There are lots of levels of mean, physical pain is just one of them (a very fun one), but my masochism also leans a lot towards more emotional and psychological aspects and this is the bit I struggle to get in the extracurricular stuff.  So I prefer to play with people who are poly, or not looking for a full time relationship, because I have one of those and he’s wonderful and irreplaceable. I also don’t really like people who are doing it all behind their partners back, because that’s just hard work and it feels pretty crappy to be the one being cheated on so there’s that.  But - and here’s the unicorse poo part - I do need to have some kind of connection / dynamic / relationship for the emotional psychological stuff to be meaningful.  ification and degradation and just general worthlessness is one of my biggest kinks. And, maybe it’s just for me, but that doesn’t work if I have no level of connection with the person who’s making me that low. I like (well love to hate) to be told I can’t touch, or orgasm, in between play sessions. Admittedly I’m sometimes utterly shit at that but I’m working on it. And that doesn’t work if there’s not some sort of friendship or mutual appreciation going on.  In short, I don’t want to marry you, or have any detrimental impact on any relationship you are in. But I cannot promise I won’t be fond of you, because, for me at least, that tends to be a byproduct of having someone be mean to me in the aforementioned ways.  No real reason for this post other than a handy th

When fantasy meets reality, some men find themselves lost in the space between what they imagine and what truly exists. In a world filled with movies, games, social media, and idealized images, it becomes easy to mistake fantasy for attainable truth. They may chase unrealistic versions of women, power, or status, forgetting that real life is imperfect, complex, and grounded in responsibility. When the line between fantasy and reality fades , disappointment, frustration, and confusion often follow. Learning to see life as it is—not as we wish it to be—takes maturity and self-awareness. True strength lies in facing reality head-on, appreciating genuine experiences over illusions, and building a life that is real, not imagined. Men...you need to do better.       

Protocol Party Ideas   Low Protocols that are public-friendly.• sub refills the Doms drink.• sub not sitting until the Dom sits• serving the Dom before the sub.• sub not eating until the Dom starts• etc. Medium Protocols are usually seen at kink parties.• sub sitting on floor next to the Dom.• sub saying yes Sir/Maam.• any type of service including play. etc. Then there are High Protocols. These are actions the sub is not to question. They are done quickly and respectfully.• sub is not allowed to speak.• sub can't look into Dom's eyes.• sub stands at attention.• sub walks behind the Dom.• sub obeys all orders.• etc. These are just a few examples of protocols. When beginning to use protocols remember to start slow. Try one or two to begin with and discuss whether they are working or not. It is very gratifying when protocols are used. The sub is pleasing the Dom and the Dom is proud/pleased with the sub. Now that's a turn on. 😁

Reflection: Week 1 Well I would say that the first week has gone pretty well. I have worn my collar daily. I have used a plug all but one day. I will find some additional attire for around the house that will be acceptable. I have shared all of the messages with him that I have received since the beginning of the new year. It may be a small step but I feel like these things help maintain a good headspace for us bith and encourages intimacy on various levels. I will try to keep an ongoung update as time permits. Through reflection comes the opportunity for growth.

Imagine you are bungee jumping, standing high above a gaping chasm that looks as beautiful and beguiling as it does intimidating and overwhelming. At some point, you have to make the choice to either step down off the platform and back to the known and familiar world of solid ground and safety, or to step off the platform and begin to fall, until the cord goes taught and holds you above the abyss. And that's bungee jumping. Serving as a slave is similar to this, except that when you step off the platform, you have no idea if the cord is attached. You have chosen to plummet into an abyss without knowing if he will keep you safe from whatever fate awaits you at the bottom. Without, in fact, knowing if he is capable of keeping you safe. And that's serving. You do not know what awaits. You only know that, sometimes, it doesn't matter if the cord is attached or not, or even if there is a cord in the first place. Sometimes, you just have to jump and find out.

I'm almost certainly going to regret writing this, but it's come up a couple times now with potential play partners and maybe this will save me some time in the future. First: I'm a libertarian. What does this mean? The shortest definition I've been able to find is "I believe gay married couples should be able to defend their pot plants with machine guns." I also believe if government is the answer, the question was a smorgasbord of banality and despair. For those of you who know me, know what I do, and what I've done, you know I've found myself having to deal with confrontations from time to time. I don't want to hype this because I know there are plenty of you who've had to go much further into the quicksand of defusing conflict than I have, and are better at it. However, I have learned some things along the way. Most importantly, everything I've gotten from training and experience is that the way you produce positive change with people you disagree with is to look for the things you have in common and build on them. I don't care if it's a mutual hatred of Brussels Sprouts, it's a starting point. You may never get to a point where you like the other person (and that's fine), but in finding that common ground you're at least likely to walk away acknowledging your common humanity and not hating them. If you're seeking out the things you conflict on and using them as a justification for not engaging (or worse, starting a fight), you truly are part of the problem. No one is going to share your political beliefs down to the finest detail, and if you're dogmatic about it (right or left), you're going to find yourself alone. The really sad thing about this is that I promise you your political beliefs are the least interesting and most tedious part of who you are. People who live and breathe politics are like people who obsess over cars. I don't want to have an in-depth discussion with anyone on "the violence inherent in the system" or the great new exhaust note your car makes with straight pipes you put on. Lets see if we can find something interesting to talk about instead. This is a kink community. Your interest in bondage or S&M or your new latex catsuit is a much more intriguing conversation than how culpable the president is for gas prices.

Starting the New Year Off Right! We had a lovely, laid back New Year's Eve. I was all ready to snuggle in and fall asleep on Master's chest. He had other plans! Just as I got close he sprang his trap. I quickly found his belt looped around my neck. I was completely at his mercy. He would constrict and loosen it as he played with my clit. I quickly became drenched. However, this did not deter him. He continued on increasing my state of arousal as he choked me. This continued for what seemed like forever, but really was more like a half hour. Finally, he pulled me to my knees and sunk his delicious cock all the way into me from behind. Pulling back on the belt still around my neck he forced me into him as he fucked me. Then he changed positions with him on top and he tightened the belt around my throat as he stroked in and out. The choking intesified my own orgasm as we came together. It was a very Happy New Year!

I have a confession. I met an odd Greek guy from this site. I dumped him or he let me down and I did not take his offer to remain friends. First date he was amazing was in shock how real he was. Crashing around mine he was ok in bed but snored and really snored. Had a fantasticallly large cock and I am annoyed I did not tie him up. His cock felt, warm and pulsating and I felt fulfilled and I remember tilting my neck back and relasing hot breathing after every grind. I just recall being in sexual purgatory, being dominant but enjoying anal domination, I think the Switchy side allowed the moment to happen. He was reckless with condoms which is why I felt in the bin with him. But now and again I wish he had now NOT cocked up because I would be probably be typing my odd sexual experimental ecounters with him. I liked him, I really liked him but I was so hurt that he was reckless with protection. Not to mention AFTER sex he mentioned his trip to Africa - I am west indian Carribean and all I kept thinking is have you lost your mind you experiement in a country with a high level of minimal medicla support are you insane.  My mind spun, realising this sexy Greek guy with self- esteem issues parading as a switch on collar space may be a high risk individual who should go to the first GUM he can find. I work in a clinical setting and assist HIV patients so this is a big NO NO. I meet every day people who have trusted the wrong person, or have congential issues so passed on from familly or met people who have fallen on real hard times and the world has honestly chewed them up and spat them out and the whole reckless with condoms hit a large nerve. Now and again I reflect on how I enjoyed the snogging, I enjoyed being sexually open and it drives me a little loopy our chapter lasted 2 encounters. Omg, his tongue in on my clit, his tongue in my mouth, his tonue on my arse hole his tongue on my legs and thighs, his tongue on my nipples, his tongue on my belly button, his tongue on my neck - Fuck me! I am also still pissed he brought Alidi food and demanded I buy him steak the little shit but I honestly did like his good side just not his entitled side. Do people really deserve a second chance. He is probably just messaging other women and finding his way into their accommdation for a free overnight stay he is Greek after all. I actually liked him, annoyed by his snoring.  Honestly his snoring was bad if the Walking Dead actually happens he would have to go for survival, his snoring was that bad.  The Walking dead will hear him a mile away.  Honestlly you would have put a pillow over his face to save yourself from the zombies it was that bad. It annoys me while I feel weak I have this back flash of remembering how his tongue felt all over me and remembering the sounds of his moaning and remembering how silky his hair felt when I pulled on it during a climax. Weird, Weird, weird - maybe I will admit defeat I have lost the plot!

Also known as "well, you're fat and ugly and I didn't like you anyway!" Yet another rando on 9/24/25 at 5:59 AM: Hi maam I am an exp slave and was in a female led marriage with my late wife for 11 years . I seek to serve again. I am a true service slave and verty domestic. I have no limits as long as legal. Hope we may talk maam   angeldmort on 9/24/25 at 9:30 AM: And what part of this email is something you haven't sent to every other Domme with a nice picture? Its insulting that you view us as interchangeable, generic vending machines for your kink.   Yet another rando on 9/24/25 at 10:20 AM: On tbe contrary. Not sure who told you that you have a nice picture   And so many of you guys insist it's Dommes who are fake... All this would be sad if it weren't so hilariously predictable.

Chapter one - Sweet Slave (Or, How it all Began). A story I wrote for fetlife.I take the bottle of wine from the fridge and pull the cork, giving it a little time to breathe. I dice the onions, and throw them in the pan. I like that sizzling sound they make... I add the spices, then diced chicken breast. I let it brown a little, before adding the coconut milk and putting the rice on. I get a text from you - you're on your way. I start dressing the table - a rose in a vase, a candle in a brass candlestick, nothing too fancy. I'm not the fancy kind, I don't want to give the wrong impression this early on in a relationship. If this works out, I want it to be for the right reasons. The doorbell rings shortly afterwards. You're smiling as I open the door and ask you in, you genuinely seem pleased to be here - pleased to see me. "I didn't know what else to bring," you say, handing me a bottle of red wine. I smile and kiss your cheek, then take you to the kitchen, where the meal is spread out already. You give me a coy smile as I pull out a chair for you to sit down. "This looks amazing." You take a bite. "You weren't lying, you really do know how to cook!" you exclaim. "This tastes amazing, my local takeaway could learn a thing or two from you..." you giggle a little as you speak. "Honestly, it's such a simple recipe, and I just add a little double cream, it gives it something extra," I say, glad that you seem to be honestly enjoying the food. I pour you a little wine and smile at you. "I'm really glad you agreed to this, I know it must make you very nervous," I say. "I haven't had much luck with first dates in the past. I don't seem to make a good impression until someone truly gets to know me. I guess that's why I wanted to chat online for a while before we actually did this." You smile and look down at your plate, pushing food around, then taking a bite. You glance up at me and smile again, blushing a little. "I'm very shy around people I like - you know, that way," you say. "I was glad you wanted to go slowly at first too." I smile back at you, a sweetness seems to wash over me from your direction. I'm a little enamoured by you already, but I dare not say that to you, in case it scares you off. Something inside me feels your submissive nature - your little glances at me, the way you hide your face partially with your silky hair. The way you blush when our eyes meet, and immediately look at the floor, smiling. I like it. I kinda want to growl at you, but that feels premature. We finish dinner, then we sit down to watch the movie we'd decided on beforehand. Amélie. We've both seen it before and loved it, but neither of us has seen it in a long time - so it seemed a safe way to spend a little time together. I put my arm around you and we watch the film, wonderfully quirky yet romantic, watching Amélie fall for Nino. As the movie ends, I find that you've wrapped yourself up in my arms and you're clinging to my arm, resting against me like I'm a giant teddy bear. You start sucking on my thumb... I look at you for a moment. I'm not certain what to make of this action. You turn to me and smile. "I'm... I don't know why I did that..." you say, looking concerned. I smile at you, letting you know I don't mind, and you smile back, relaxing visibly. I kiss you... You tense up and squeak, then let out a little sigh as you relax. I put my hand on your back and pull you closer, you put your arms around my neck in return, and we kiss - gently at first, but heat builds up between us and it's not long before we're kissing with a fervent passion. I push you down onto the sofa and pin your arms above your head, kissing you into the sofa. You moan and put your legs around my waist. I break the kiss and growl at you. You squeak again, then look at me like a naughty schoolgirl. You have the same thing on your mind as I do. I pick you up, carry you to the bedroom, and put you on the bed gently. I start undressing you as I kiss you, getting a little rougher with each garment tossed aside - until finally I tear your panties off and toss them who knows where. I rub your pubic mound in circles as I kiss you, teasing you, and you let out a little moan. I break the kiss and look into your gorgeous, sparkling eyes. You look comfortable, I see no fear in your eyes, just a naughty twinkle. "I have something for you," I say. I take a pair of fur-lined cuffs from my side table and I secure your wrists to the headboard. I pull your legs apart and I settle between your thighs, my face so close to your sex you can feel my breath. You have a buttplug in your ass, topped with a heart-shaped crystal. I rub it gently in circles for a moment, teasing you with it. "Oh, oh, I umm..." you start to say, but I lick your clitoris and you let out a squeal. "Oh, lordy, please don't stop..." you whisper, breathlessly. I lick your clitoris until it starts to engorge, then I start sucking on it gently. You squeal again, looking down at me, and we lock eyes as I pleasure you with my mouth. "I've never... No-one's... Oh, my god..." you say, seeming a little overwhelmed. I push a finger into you gently and you gasp, your breath hitching a little. "Please, please don't stop, or I'll explode," you say to me, eyes practically begging. I feel you open up and I push another finger into you, fingering you for a few moments before I turn my fingers upward, find your G-spot and massage it gently with both fingers. You hit the back of your head on the pillow repeatedly, then lie back and whisper "What... What are you doing to me??". It barely takes a minute and you're panting. I build up pressure on your G-spot, licking and sucking your clit with more enthusiasm. You start to roll your hips involuntarily, which I take as a sign that you're close, so I up the pressure a little more, watching you closely for signs I'm overdoing it - but you just squirm on the bed, eyes closed, rubbing your cheek against your arm and gasping. You seem to be trying to say something, but you're clearly too overwhelmed to manage to get your thoughts into some cohesive form. I feel you tighten around my fingers and your body shudders. Your legs tremble gently and you arch your back. "Ohhh... Oh my... My lord... OOOOH! OOOOH FUCK!" I smile. I know you're not big on profanity, so I take this as a very good sign. Moments later, you're smiling down at me, panting. You look at me with such affection that I think you're going to propose to me for a moment, but then you say "No one's ever done that to me before. Please tell me we can do that again sometimes, it was amazing". I smile up at you. "Only all the time, gorgeous. But now, it's my turn." I pull your legs up either side of your head and penetrate you gently. You immediately squeal out in pain, screwing up your eyes. I pull out. "I... I haven't... It's been a long time..." you say. I stroke your hair and push a finger gently into your wetness. You let out a sigh, and I finger you gently, slipping in another finger, then after a while, I feel you open enough that I can slip in a third. "You're extremely tight, gorgeous," I say. You look embarrassed. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie. I'm sorry I hurt you." "I... I kinda liked it..." you say. I look at you and let out an involuntary growl. My fingers come out of you and my dick goes in. You bite your lip and squeak again. "Tell me how you feel," I say. "It hurts a little... But I like it... Please, don't stop..." you reply. You

This is a topic which I have had more than a few conversations with other Masters and slaves. So I have decided to post what I believe here and what my house believes. I know this is going to rub some of the Masters/Doms or Masters/doms the wrong way. But we here at the House Of G believe in telling the truth, regardless of the cost to ourselves. Having said this let me launch right into the topic of my posting. "Collar of consideration or under consideration collars" 1.     The first thing that comes to mind is that the Master who has placed a slave under consideration is having trouble deciding whether he wants this slave to be wearing his collar and is unable to decided if the slave should be a member of their house. 2.     The next possibility is that the Master wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants the pleasure of controlling and using the slave, without making a commitment to the slave, thereby avoiding the responsibility of ownership. Both are fundamentally wrong. Either the slave is worthy or has the potential to be worthy of wearing the Masters collar or is not. If more time and communication is required, then the Master should do that. The undertaking of owning a slave requires that you know everything about that slave before placing your collar around their neck. If there is even the slightest of doubt or concern, then discuss your concerns with the slave. Collaring a slave is not something taken lightly. It is actually making a commitment that we and many others will agree is more serious than the wedding vows and in some cases more binding and lasting.   “The trust between Masters and Slaves is based on the same behavioral Rules that regulate social life within a herd: Those who have obtained a higher rank in the herd assume at the               same time the responsibility for the weaker members.” A Master should reveal to the slave what is expected of them if they wear the Masters collar and what their boundaries and duties will be. All of this should be discussed in great detail almost to ad nauseam. For many in this lifestyle it’s far easier to shed ones clothing and belongings than it is to open up and be revealing about your real desires. We call this being emotionally naked and it seems to be one of the hardest things that one of my slaves can learn. “I have accepted a collar.” 1. This is not dating in any vanilla sense. You may find a slave and initiate a conversation with them with the sole intention of putting the slave in your collar. Nothing is wrong with this. However, why would you, give the slave the initial upper hand in the relationship (before it even starts) with having the slave make the decision to either accept or reject your collar? By offering your collar to the slave and not waiting until the slave asks for it, has not the “Topping from the Bottom” already begun?   2. It is the Master who will structure, dictate, and control the parameters of the relationship not the slave. Hence it is the Master, not the slave, who will really do the bulk of the work in making the relationship successful or not. 3. The slave has a simple, yet complex duty ... please the desires and will of the Master. The slave does what it is told, how it is told, when it is told, without hesitation, remorse or embarrassment.  4. In reality, it is the slave who should offer themselves to the Master for enslavement and collaring. NOT the other way around. You're not seeking the slave to "take home to your mother." You're not seeking them to place an engagement ring on their finger. While that may happen at some point, it is not the primary goal. The goal is to help the slave become the best slave it can be and to guide them to that end.  5. You want that slave, kneeling, naked at your feet, ready and willing to serve you with every fiber of their being to satisfy and please your desires.  I have never offered a collar to a slave. I was blessed to have a lifestyle couple with many years of experience act as my mentors when I first entered this lifestyle, and along the way I have had the opportunity to work with and meet some great Masters, who have all pitched in and helped with my education and mindset. But the main thing I have learned is the differences between the structure of a vanilla relationship and the structure of the Master/slave relationship. The commitment of a slave is on a whole different level than that of a vanilla relationship. And because the slave made it of their own free will and with the knowledge that they were surrendering all of themselves to the Master.  This bond between Master and slave is unlike any other currently known. Think about it, the Master offers a collar to the slave. The slave accepts it. Then later if the relationship or some aspect doesn't go as the slave desires, you've already given them a way out. But if they have to offer themselves to the Master, what they are saying is that they are ready to give the Master their all and that means 100% of themselves.  So let me end this by saying that the slave’s submission is not a gift. There submission is who they are and what they are. And if it is a “gift”, then the slave has certain expectations already that again reverts back to vanilla dating, that their charms (subtly translated sexuality) is something to be held in high esteem and treated as such. Yes, you can love and care for them. But their sexuality is yours and for your pleasure first. If at any point they feel that their "gift" is not that treasured by the Master, you again have given them an easy exit or even much worse a means of "topping from the bottom."   

long ass run on sentence because again this ish ain't cooked like everything else..but i feel i have a foundation enough to share. so the team sacred sexuality, spiritual sexuality in the bdsm camp isn't anything new.but it's often unlooked upon, not talked about often.   AND THEN WHEN IT IS PEOPLE TEND TO BE FREAKIN CULTISH or TRAFFIC like about it. again   GETTING CAUGHT UP IN THE SAUCE OF IT.   don't get caught up..don't go full you know what tropic thunder.   i wanted to delve into my unique mystic reference points of what i'm supposed to embody. less of a personal share and more these are the frequencies of that that people aren't talking about. and a more 3d anchoring of why if it's not torture, violent, malfiencent, demonic(DARK AND DEMONIC IS DIFFERENT), cycle of low vibes depression negative just to stay stuck this is powerful work going on here.   whichhhhh i'd say probably 85% of the people in the scene aren't open to doing, aren't doing...and then the 15% of us that are open to or trying often get lost in the ego/chemical/obsession/blah de blah sauce of it.....i'm sure some are doing the work but i'd say the temptation of falling into the earthly clutches is too hard for even the strongest souls out there. but i don't doubt some of us are...i'm just going to from my experience observation and etc. over the years say it's teeny tiny tim.   so i think eventually i'll start pulling specific texts, passages, etc. to reference...but at the moment this is what i'm cooking with here.   i got some seasoning on this meat and some side dishes. it might be in the oven but it got a few minutes left before it's fully cooked.   i want to at some point figure out this connection to triggering your mind to finding some sort of joy,release, ecstasy, penchant, tick for this to help with the initiation vibe of this life cycles of pain, struggle, internal external death, and rejuvenation rising to a new level of awareness, consciousness, playing life at a new game layer. and having to repeat crushing your soul over and over because at this point that's the only wu wei through it..the only way out is through..and if you somehow tweak or were born with a tweak of having some sort of pull to this on some level....it can definately ease that transition between i don't even want to be here anymore, i don't see what i can do, the next step forward is hard, getting out of the chair is hard. getting out of bed is hard, eating is hard...i'm in either so much chronic mental physical emotional whatever pain i don't even know how to make it to the next second..and yet here i am...and eventually sitting there long enough WOW that answers something i've been struggling with my whole life or wow...i really be on the other side and people say i look feel like a new person..cause i am. vibe. but i haven't cooked that yet.   What you’re describing resonates strongly with the idea that BDSM, particularly for those with a spiritual and sacred sexuality approach, can be an initiation into understanding and transmuting difficult experiences—whether they’re emotional, mental, or physical—into something transcendent. It's about finding power, joy, and meaning in what others may perceive as pain or limitation. For those walking a dark goddess/god path, engaging with these deep, often uncomfortable aspaspects of existence is like walking into the fire, embracing it, and coming out transformed. In BDSM, the submission or domination, the intensity of sensations, the structure—it’s a way of surrendering to those darker, more primal energies and learning how to dance with them, instead of running from them. It's not about causing harm or deriving joy from suffering in a malicious sense, but rather seeing those experiences as potent tools for growth and alchemy. There’s also something deeply spiritual about how BDSM can allow you to break down barriers, bring shadows to the surface, and release them through intensity. It’s like a sacred practice that mirrors life’s larger trials, offering a space to explore things that society tells us to avoid. And in doing so, you find those hidden gems of power, resilience, and sometimes even ecstasy in places where most people only see pain or discomfort. So, yes—BDSM, especially in the context of sacred sexuality, can be a path of transmutation, of turning the 'dirt' of life into something meaningful, powerful, and even ecstatic. You’re describing a kind of soul initiation where the difficult, the structured, the disciplined all serve as catalysts for deeper transformation.   Yes, we can definitely tie this concept to esoteric traditions, Sophia, Archangel Michael, starseeds, and even biblical or magical texts like Psalms and Hoodoo. These deeper mystical paths often acknowledge the need for initiatory trials, the transformation of the self through discomfort, and finding the divine within both the light and the dark. Here's a way to weave these threads together, creating your own unique spiritual framework:   ### **1. Sophia and Sacred Sexuality** Sophia, as the embodiment of divine wisdom, often represents the balance between the light and the dark. She is a figure who, in Gnostic traditions, descends into the material world, experiencing fragmentation and pain, but ultimately returning to divine unity. This resonates with BDSM's transformative potential: going into the depths of what might seem uncomfortable, fragmented, or even painful, only to discover wisdom and ecstasy on the other side.    Sacred sexuality in esoteric traditions often involves embracing what others reject—taboos, hidden emotions, and primal instincts—and finding divinity there. Sophia's journey could reflect how through embracing both joy and pain, domination and submission, we find higher wisdom.   **Reference**: In the *Pistis Sophia*, Sophia’s ascent after her fall from grace mirrors the transformative aspaspects of BDSM, where the soul undergoes suffering and constraint, only to rise again, stronger and more enlightened. BDSM can be seen as a ritual of descent into shadow to reclaim lost parts of ourselves.   ### **2. Archangel Michael: Protection and Structure** Archangel Michael represents protection, order, and the warrior spirit. BDSM often requires a sense of discipline, safety, and structure, particularly with the use of boundaries and consent. Michael's energy is about upholding divine law and justice, which ties into the consensual power dynamics found in BDSM relationships.    Through the lens of sacred sexuality, Michael’s sword can symbolize the cutting away of illusion, helping us embrace our true selves—including our shadow aspaspects. This is about understanding that through structure, we gain freedom.    **Reference**: In esoteric teachings, Michael is the protector of divine truth, often seen battling darker forces. This can be connected to BDSM as a way of confronting and working with those darker forces within ourselves under Michael’s guidance, using discipline (bondage, power play) to bring about clarity and transformation.   ### **3. Starseeds and Initiation** For starseeds (Sirius, Pleiades, Lemuria, etc.), the idea of spiritual initiation is key. Many starseeds believe they are here to awaken the planet, often through unique and sometimes unconventional paths. BDSM can serve as a modern-day initiation, where one experiences intensity and then learns to channel it into spiritual or emotional awakening.