It is so sad that an honest to God true Dom/Master with over 50 years in the lifestyle would be on most every sub/slave's wish list. I can be gentle for those just learning, medium for the ones with some experience and Sadistic to those in need of a very hard and prisoner experience. I am a bit of everything to whom it is need for.   Yes as all Dom/Masters my word is my bond to me if I can not be honest or truthful then I should not be here. For those who are Dom/Master in name only before you engage with a sub/slave. You should take every advantage of all those of us who have experience so you can learn. You never talk to a potential sub/slave as you own them as until they willingly give you the honored gift of their submission, you will never own them. This is fact and writen in Iron. That gift is their's to give to whom ever they choose and it is not done lightly. There has to be total trust that you as their Dom/Master will never abuse that gift. Those of you after only sex that is not what this site is about. It is a serious lifestyle steeped jn traditions and rules of conduct. The fact that some of you think it is a game are deceiving yourself and others see it. This lifestyle should never be taken lightly nor used to play games with. The sub/slave is not a toy it is a concept made true by a human being that lives breathes and thinks as well as has feelings that we as Don/Master need to see and think how to co epically add this life to our needs and desires. That comes from trust and a love to make the Dom/Master whole. 

So slightly better news.  99.9 percent of the people who get this cancer are either heavy smokers, heavy drinkers, or drug users, and have depressed immune symptoms.  Since I am none of those things, my chances of making it out of this alive is closer to 80 percent than 50.  I'll take it.  I go in for surgery next week.  They are cutting out a piece of the back of my tongue, a piece of the back of my throat, and going into the side of my neck and removing all the lymph nodes.  Fortunately, the surgical techniques have advanced a lot and they no longer have to take out all the bones and muscle in my neck along with it.  So I will have a scar on my neck, but won't be grossly disfigured.  I won't be able to eat solid food or talk for a few weeks, and it's still going to be horribly painful, but better than dying.  And hopefully, if they get it all, I won't need to follow up with chemo and radiation and it won't come back.  But this cancer does like to come back.  I will worry about that when it happens.  For now, I'm going to focus on getting through this and keep living my life as best I can.  Thanks to everyone who took the time to write me about their own survival stories, or to offer support.

I DO NOT AND WILL NOT GIVE MASTERS ANY SORT OF FINANCIAL DOMINATION. Had a really bad experience with a Dom who asked me for money every week, even though I told her I was getting screwed over by an airline that owed me money. If you want me to give you control over my finances please look for someone else who has that kind of stability to support you.    

Over the past few weeks, i have recieved many offers of ownership, from many interesting people. I have learned a lot more about what kind of relationships are out there, and what kind of relationships will and won't fit me. From these experiences, i have made observations, and determined some idea of what i need.I understand the basic concept of a slave. Someone who is completely owned by another, without rights or privileges, without freedom, without pleasure or distraction. Without anything except that what is allowed by their owner.But I understand, too, that not all potential owners are the same. Each has their own things they will control, allow, or even encourage. What is anathema to one, is vital to another. And so i recognise that while i give all control to my owner, it is still down to me who i will choose to be that person. And i would choose them based on their desires matching up with my needsThis document is a compilation and approximate description of the conditions that i will flourish in. Like a plant needs the right soil and climate to grow. Not all slaves are the same.Without farther ado: I need trust and safety:Top of the list because it is the most important.If we have this, everything else in the world is manageableIf we don't, nothing can compensate for it.These should be a given, but its worth exploring it more.As a slave, i will put my life into my owner's hands. My wellbeing and future are theirs to determine. Given this, i need to know that the person i am entrusting, will use this gift well, that they will protect me, that they will respect any conditions we agreed upon, and not exploit me.I need an owner who will not throw me in harms' way. For a start by keeping me out of, or safe within, situations where there might be a threat of violence or crime.But I also need to know they won't give me crazy orders that cause harm or make me do dangerous/illegal things.I am still learning what unsafe situations look like, i hope i will know them when i see them.  I need control and disciplineI was recently offered a domestic discipline arrangement, I ultimately declined this because i felt it was too lax and permissive, i need a deeper level of control. This was the right direction, but it didn't go far enoughI've also seen some relationships advertised where the sub is essentially a supermax prisoner, or worse. Permanant bondage, destruction of identity, faceless tormentors, zero autonomy. I did not apply for these, they seemed too controlling.So there are some extremes, what i need is somewhere in the middle.  I need a certain level of oversight, control, and management. I need a guiding hand in my life to keep me on the right path, to set my priorities, and to ensure that rewards come after effort, not before.I don't know how much control yet, until then i live and learn. I need social contact:Although my owner is my world, and any other slaves are my sisters in service, I believe that these relationships alone will not be enough. Although i do have a kink for cages and confinement in small, or even moderately large doses, i couldn't live forever in a gilded cage. No amount of luxury or pleasure or control can truly compensate for isolation.I need people outside of our relationship to talk to. Not just online friends, but physical in person contacts too. I seek an owner who has at least a semi-active social life, who will take me to clubs, or to meet his friends in the local community.I don't seek to keep secrets on that account, i will happily inform my owner of everyone i interact with and everything we do. And it is of course my owner's perogative to control who i can speak to and associate with, i beg that this not be enforced too often :(I don't necessarily seek sexual contact either, these friends can be purely platonic. But i would certainly love to be sent to serve others, allowed to participate in sexual activities, or used to provide services that will involve me engaging with other peopleWoman is a social creature, and i must connect with people. I need to be utilized to my full potential:As a slave I provide domestic services, cooking, cleaning, laundry, et al. And sexual services of just about every kind. And i can provide more niche fetish services, like being a urinal.But being highly intelligent, i can do a lot of other things too. ..... I truly believe that service is what I'm meant for, and am happy to provide more, were we to discuss things......I want to make your dreams come true! I need patienceAutism makes me think unusually. I'm not great with vague or emotional descriptions, when learning about people and places and things, i work best with anecdotes. I like specific, concrete, technical, material details. I will try my best to adapt to how you speak and do things, but there will necessarily be a degree of you adapting to me too :(I can hyperfocus on tasks and become obsessed, i go above and beyond to please. And I tend to think and plan ahead, far ahead. Sometimes i will seem dispassionate or emotionless, other times clingy and needy. When i'm upset i tend to write large volumes of stuff, and i may need a careful hand in calming me down. Sometimes i will get scared, or misinterpret things, i worry a lot, i overthink and get stressed. I need someone who can listen to my complex rambling inner monologues and help me sort them outI will take some getting used to, but i promise i'm worth it!   I need a place to belong:I crave to be part of something larger. A relationship, a family unit, a community, whatever. The details are flexible, but a general sense of belonging and knowing my place is needed.I can't be kept at arms' length, to be a side whore. If you have an existing relationship, i need to be a full part of it, i need to live with you in your home, and be a part of your life, and the lives of your partner(s) or other slaves.I can't be hidden away from the world. I need love and appreciationLove conquers all, and for someone i love, i will do anything. My love is not jealous or posessive, it can be shared with anyone in your household, ill never want you all to myself, i will devote mind body and soul to your serviceBut i do kind of need the same energy back. I need an owner who has room in their heart for love, who isn't closed off or distant.And i need regular encouragement and appreciation. headpats are always welcome, "good girl" is the highest praiseI want to be a treasure to someone, valued for more than the sum of my parts, as i shower upon them a self destructive level of devotion and worship.Ultimately, i want to be loved, doesn't anyone?

One of the first things parents teach their toddlers is that 'I want, doesn't get'. We can't have everything in this world - and we certainly shouldn't expect things to fall into our laps just because we ask for them. But perhaps the point is more about the way that we ask. After all, if you don't ask for things, why would anyone give you anything? Of course, you have to prove yourself worthy. But it's important to be clear, so that other people are able to engage fully and clearly with our goals. On that note ,although we learn, when we're young, not to voice all our thoughts, I am  someone who's prepared to take risks when it comes to sharing ideas; I  don't suppress my feelings or opinions for the sake of polite pretence. I like being with people i  can be honest and open with.

8/12/22 Football player gets what he wants Football player boy came over for the first time in quite a few months. So I knew his ass was going to be tight, and I wasn't mistaken.When he first arrived I was sitting in my rocking chair wearing only a pair of boxers. I had been playing with myself so not only was I already heard but I had pre-cum oozing down my cock.We've been getting together for quite a number of years, so he doesn't even have to be told, he strips as he walks through the door. As he was stripping there he exchanged a few pleasantries, how have you been, it's been a while, sorry I'm a few minutes late. I just pulled my cock out from my shorts and said, come take care of this.He got down on his knees and took my cock in his hand. He saw the precum dripping from the tip, and licked it off.  Then he immediately latched on to my cock taking it all the way to my balls.    He has an outside job so he's been in the sun a lot. I don't think I ever remember him looking this tan. His hair is cut extremely short this time. His broad shoulders have a new tattoo since I saw him last. The view looking down at him is incredible.I rested my hand on the back of his head feeling his rhythmic bobbing up and down on my cock. He knew exactly what he was doing, I didn't need to guide him in any way. Although a few times I just wanted to hear him choke on my cock, so I applied pressure on the back of his head until I felt my cock head bottom out in the back of his throat.This went on for a few minutes, but I remembered something he told me during his last visit. He wanted to expand his repertoire again. Originally many years ago he had a girlfriend who would peg him. They broke up and he couldn't find another girl to peg him. That's when we met. And at the beginning all I was allowed to do wish of toys up his ass.Years later, many patient years later, he said he wanted to try sucking cock. Months after that he wanted to taste my load. It has been fun watching him change over the years. And now he wants FUCKED by my cock. This is what he told me at the end of our last session quite a few months ago. Today was the day.We went downstairs and he climbed into the sling. I secured his ankles high into the air as he scooted down in the sling to give me plenty of access to his hole. He doesn't like the roughness of my fingers, so I slipped a pair of rubber gloves on, applied some lube and started playing on the outside of his ass. Normally I just dive in with one or two fingers, but today I wanted HIM to WANT IT extra bad. I wanted him to yearn for it.I teased the outside of his hole and I could feel him lunging in the sling by grabbing the chains and trying to push himself onto my finger. But I was just teasing him at this point. I reached up and stroked his cock a few times, and then went back to teasing his hole.Eventually I gave him what he was yearning for at the moment, I slid my finger deep into his ass with one swift movement. My finger landed on his hard prostate. Some days his prostate is kind of soft until I get him sexually excited at which point it gets hard as a rock. Today, it was hard as a rock the moment I touched it. I applied a little pressure and noticed pre-cum ooze out of the end of his cock.With one finger still up his ass massaging his prostate, using the other hand I smeared his pre-cum over his cock head and started stroking it. He threw his head back and looked in the mirror above us on the ceiling of the basement. I was watching his face and his eyes as he intently focused on every movement I made.As expected his ass was tight. Wonderfully tight. But eventually I worked a second finger into his hole. I don't know where he learned to clean his ass out, but he does a better job than anyone I know. He's definitely a pro at cleaning himself out, and that means I can use larger and longer toys.But for now I was just working him over with one and then two fingers. Occasionally sliding a third finger in. I watched as he gazed into the mirror above us and I gave him a bit of a show. I pulled my fingers out and put my index finger as deep as I could. Then I would pull it out and replace it with only my middle finger twisting my hand around as I played with his prostate. Then I pulled my middle finger out and replaced it with my ring finger and little finger at the same time, I spun my hand around again.I pulled my fingers out and replaced them with my index and middle finger, the easy way. Vertically, aligned with his ass crack. But then with a twist of 90°, he was getting my fingers the hard way. But he was doing just fine. He was enjoying it as much as I was.His cock was hard and I continued to play with it. And then I did something I usually don't do. And you would think I was doing it for his benefit, and I want him to think I was doing it for his benefit, but this was just a little treat for myself. I took the head of his cock in my mouth and started twirling my tongue around his piss slit. I glanced up and saw him throw his head back, I think his eyes might have rolled backwards a bit toward his skull.I continued sucking on his cock until I had his entire cock in my mouth. I bobbed up and down a few times and he started to moan incredibly. I know from the past experience that once he orgasms were done for the day, as with most guys. And there was no way I was going to risk that. So I popped my mouth off his cock and continued working on his ass putting a third finger in.He loves CBT so with my fingers still firmly planted inside him, I grabbed a wooden spoon. I started smacking his balls lightly at first but rhythmically

I'm not sure if this tells anyone anything other than that I occastionally take quizes online, but ...  == Results from bdsmtest dot org ==  97% Dominant  95% Degrader  95% Master/Mistress  90% Sadist  82% Owner  80% Daddy/Mommy  79% Non-monogamist  66% Primal (Hunter)  59% Brat tamer  53% Rigger  50% Switch  46% Experimentalist  37% Ageplayer  31% Boy/Girl  30% Pet  28% Vanilla  23% Brat  22% Degradee  21% Primal (Prey)  16% Submissive  15% Voyeur  10% Exhibitionist  9% Rope bunny  7% Masochist  4% Slave 

Maybe God puts someone in your life to figure yourself out, Having a slave for the household would be a dream, but it takes weeks for even each other to see each other. unless their pussies and play the get some mmm and get out game? but let me tell you. I am 36 years old and i was on here on Collarme, I remember the hours at nights where I chat with Doms, Sirs, subs, females males, and just fascinated. Yes my husband and i have hit a really hard time but maybe me taking the time to find a slave would be ideal and let him do his shit while we try to work on marraige, now a lot of you would say NO Go work on that, but see that was the trouble, I tried to do everything I can not anymore. I dont have time to take years to get to know somoeone who wants a Domme, who is kind loving and pushing toward wanting someone who is along those lines but also wants some humilation and and punishment when needed. Dream to live in the country with my household and look onto the mountains and grow old and have my slave or slaves male or female service my household. I can not tell the future, but someone will grow to love this chit Chatty Domme who Loves to be called Misses and Mistress when it suits her, the driffrence is in the words slaves. Also TPE is a must and be prepared to use your mouth. and your hands.  Mistress Nat

Well once again collarspace never disappoints to disappoint.  Seriously don't know why I ever come back. You would think after the first twenty times I would learn.   And to the people that say you are too far away, come on really unless you live in a huge city with tons of people in the community who the hell else are you going to talk to.  The odds that if you live in a small to med community that will connect with anyone are so remote it's ridiculous.  Don't be a dick, if someone says hello have the courtsey to at least say hello back. You never know who is out there that could be your new best friend.  It won't kill you.   This might be counterintuitive on here but we need to be a kinder gentler people.    and if you are dick on here it means probably are dick in person.  Take a dick don't be a dick.   Dont take my civility to mean I'm not a dom.  Real men know how to treat people of all sexes with kindness, and still be a dominate man.   To quote Bill Bixby (youngens' wont get this reference) "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when i'm angry?  

I'm going to attempt to take My mother out dancing tonight.  About once a year I will bring her out late night.  The last time was New Years, two years ago and then a year before that it was with some friends in the club and then out for an early breakfast.  She always brings a feel good feeling with her and makes everyone around her feel special, seen. Mother has a gift of graciousness.  Always the first to ask what your name is and introduce herself.  I always marvel how straightforward and outgoing she is.  I remember as a child when she would hear someone's last name, she would then say, "A nice polish name"...or " Is that of slavic origin?"  Being an English major, this was one of the many gifts she possessed in her tool bag.   Lately, her love of flowers has seen her gifting Me with lifes bouquets.  She picks up a pretty leaf, then finds a flower, a stone, a piece of yarn and she walks over and says, "I have something for you" and she hands Me her bouquet of loveliness.  All day long, as I run around making this, doing that, her gifts can be found all around.  I tried to start a book, as these bouqets often don't last too long.  One day, the bouqets will be all gone and her lovliness in My life.

This is a somewhat tongue-in-cheek, somewhat serious exploration of how to get to know someone via collarspace.com. Or, I guess to put it honestly, how to get to know me. Step 1. Read the fucking profile. My profile is not short, but it’s not War and Peace. It has important content in it that will help you know whether we are compatible or not and save your time AND mine. When you see a photo of someone you are attracted to, a compliment is a lovely thing. But if you honestly want to start a relationship or dynamic of some sort with them, read their profile before writing. It’s a form of respect, both self-respect (keep yourself from writing to people who are wildly incompatible with you) and respect for the other. Step 2. Don’t call me Mistress. I don’t like unearned titles, and if you MUST address me by a title, Ms. is enough. Don’t call me Miss, don’t call me Goddess, don’t use one of a hundred other unearned titles. If the time comes when addressing me by a title is appropriate to our relationship, you will know and we will discuss the appropriate title at that time. Until then, you may call me Elorin or Ms. Elorin. Step 3. Three sentence minimum. This is my 95% rule for responding to a letter on collarspace. A rare exception comes in where I respond to an initial email with fewer than three sentences, but for the most part, that’s the rule. If you feel like writing three sentences is too much to ask from someone with no relationship with you so far, that’s fine. You can choose not to write or you can write less and I’ll just delete your message when I read it. And if you send a long, run-on sentence with no punctuation and capitalization, I’ll treat it as one sentence and delete, even if it should have been three sentences. This is a personal value of mine, and it’s important to me that my partners are literate and able to write and express themselves. I realize that some people don’t do well with writing, or expressing themselves online, and I have made an exception in the past to meet people in person and give them a chance to express themselves in person, but that is rare and again, 95% of the time, if you can’t write and sustain emails with me for a short amount of time, you won’t be compatible with me in person. Step 4. Don’t immediately ask to go to another media. I’m on Collarspace, you’re on Collarspace, write to me on Collarspace. If things go well, there will be time to provide my FetLife ID, or my Telegram ID. For the record, I don’t have an Instagram, Kik, or Twitter account, I don’t use Skype anymore, and I have no idea how to use TikTok to chat. If you want to talk on instant messenger, I use Telegram. And I won’t move to an instant messenger program until I’ve talked with you long enough to feel like it’s worth my time. Step 5. Volunteer information. Look at my profile. Look at your profile. If your profile is essentially empty, or is turned off, and basically provides zero information for me to learn about you before replying to your first message, provide some information about yourself when you write. Please note: a first email should be one or two moderately long paragraphs. If you write me a book in your first email, I may or may not read it but I won’t respond to it until I have time to dedicate to it, whereas a shorter email may get a response sooner. However, still, three sentence minimum. A good first message starts with a little bit about yourself, what you liked about my profile, and what you’re looking for – getting to know me, playing with me, becoming my full time submissive, something else entirely. Step 6. Ask questions. While my profile is long, there is plenty of information I did not provide. Ask me a question about something you’d like to know more about me. However, if you read the first two paragraphs of my profile and ask me something that you would know if you’d read the whole thing, I’ll probably delete your email. Fair warning. Step 7. Share your answer Either when you are initially asking the question or after I have replied with my answer, share your answer to the questions you ask! This prevents me from having to say “I like XYZ, what do you like?” and makes the getting to know you process go much faster. Step 8. Volunteer more information Whether answering a question of my own, or as in step 7, providing your answer to a question you asked me, volunteer information. There ARE yes or no questions, but there are very few questions where you can’t provide at least a little context with your answer. When you reply to questions with one word answers, you force me to try to ask follow up questions to figure out what the context is. This translates in my mind to how you would be during negotiations in BDSM. I spent years in my first marriage “pulling teeth” from a compulsive liar and control freak, trying to find out what the actual situation was and learn what was going on in our life. I refuse to do it again, and if I find myself having to “pull teeth” to get information from you because you are giving one word answers, I’ll just write you off and move on to someone who is more interested in actively getting to know me. Step 9. Do NOT send me unsolicited fantasies. It’s one thing (and an ok thing) to say, “I’ve always wanted to have a crop scene.” It’s another thing to write 5 long paragraphs about your ideal crop scene when I haven’t indicated any kind of interest or desire in knowing. Unsolicited fantasies are an automatic block. Step 10. Do NOT ask me “If I were there what would you do to me/what would we do/what would it be like” questions. I’ll shut you down and refuse to answer, and possibly block you. These are basically a request for free fap fodder and I’m not in the business of providing it, even if the honest answer would most likely not be enough to masturbate to. NOTE: If we’ve been writing for a while and you are planning to visit me/meet me and you ask me what to expect, that’s different and won’t get you blocked. I don’t expect anyone to read this entire thing, but if you do, mention the instant messenger program I use with the word snowflake and you’ll get bonus points in our exchanges. Ms. Elorin

This was writen by one of my slaves, so I though I would post it here. Almost everyone wants something for nothing. Bargains Attract. Finding a good value excites almost everyone, so much so that we rush to share the news. Wanting anything for free is perhaps human nature. However, many of us have had to learn the hard way, again and again, that you get what you pay for. But cheap dishes, you’ll be replacing them sooner rather than later. You reap what you sow, this is also true of human interaction as well, and most people sadly, cannot put the two concepts together and compare them. Why do we think that people should respect us before we respect them? Why do we crave privacy and yet are often quick to invade someone else’s? Why do we think that others will be there for us, even if we aren’t available for them? Being part of the group, a house, friends, family, means being the same in return. It’s not an easy thing to do, in fact it’s rather time consuming.  Although the rewards are indisputable, we still find people who tend to hesitate, and wait, letting other people make the first move. First to commit, first to open their arms, first to open their house, first to be honest, first to be forthright, first to take action, speak their mind, and offer homage, first to everything.  Getting the other people to commit first, reduces our own effort, perhaps making it easier, but even with that said you will still receive according to what you give. He who gives little, receives little. He who risks nothing, gains nothing. Being able to see, comprehend, grock and utilize this principle simplifies our lives, not complicates it as so many would have us believe. Once we Master this principle of living, I believe we never forget it. Loving you has made me want to become a better person, I know I don’t often show it, But I do appreciate everything you do, most of all I appreciate the learning lessons. Thank you so much for having the patience to put up with me.

Fantacy vs reality Oct 17 2019 Dommes are people.   Like, actual, real human beings who have jobs, family, friends, pets, hobbies, fears, insecurities, frustrations, get colds, get sunburns, do household chores, sleep badly, have bad dreams, have bad days at work, have good dreams, have side hustles, spill soup, yawn, ... everything that everyone else does.   Most of the emails I get aren't writing me. They are writing The Beautiful and Goddesslike Domme in the Tall Boots and The Sexy Corset.   It's a lot like writing Robert Downey Jr. and thanking him for saving the world that time when he flew into the black hole and you're sorry it scared him. Or maybe more like talking to a cardboard cutout of Iron Man at the theater, and expecting it to help you soup up your car so that it flies.   There is a real person behind all of that. But if you aren't interested in them, if you aren't interacting with them, asking about their actual life, treating them like a person? You are focused on the image you have, and treating it like it's the reality. Not a good look for anyone.   Which is not saying that the Domme in The Tall Boots isn't really me. It's just that it's this teeny slice of the whole me, and when you treat me like it's the only part that matters, you diminish me to a flat, limited function of my outside appearance. And it tells me that you aren't really very grounded or realistic.   The thing that I feel makes The Domme in The Tall Boots (I should copyright that) so fabulous is the mind and personality inside. The intelligence that makes me recognize patterns and respond quickly. The ethics that mean I won't lie or manipulate or abuse people when they put their trust in me. The talent that lets me learn quickly and develop new skills for better play. The understanding of human behavior and insightful nature that helps me know what others are thinking / feeling even when they don't say it out loud, and find the best response. The self control that keeps me level when play gets heated so that I don't destroy my playtoys.   And so much more... all the things that took a lifetime to build, and which have nothing to do with my face. All of these things would still be a part of me if my skin slid off and my hair fell out and I was a hideous bog monster.   These are the things that I think make me a quality person, and a good Domme. When someone writes an email saying "the most beautiful domme in the whole world You are a Goddess A domme like you is worth moving for" I know they aren't really responding to anything I've written. They are looking at a picture, and imagining who I am, filling in all the blanks with their ideal Domme's traits.   Much like that Boston song - "You must understand this I've watched you for so long That I feel I've known you I know it can't be wrong"   They see, they assume, they create a whole person in their heads that wears my face and my kinky clothes, and then they imagine that person wanting to do all the things to them that they want done. They write a letter to that person professing their undying devotion and expressing how much they are looking forward to all those things.   Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here in my pajamas with a cat on my lap trying to dry my hair after a shower, considering what to have for my bedtime snack, remembering that I didn't water the hibiscus twigs, and get blindsided with a huge wave of words written to ... I dunno who. But she has my face, so I'm expected to respond accordingly. And they get upset when I don't. I've ruined their fantasy. And disrupted their wank fodder.   And the sender never knows that they wrote a cardboard cutout while missing the actual amazingness of the real person.   I suppose it's the reverse of the situation Dustin Hoffman discussed in an interview when he realized he hadn't bothered to interact with women who didn't look a certain way, and now that he saw himself dressed as a woman and didn't look like that, he wouldn't have talked to himself as a woman, and understood how many amazing women he missed out on meeting because of it. [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuaiR89iofE[/youtube]   And honestly, I am, like most women, in that same boat. If I fail to wear The Tall Boots and The Sexy Corset with the proper primping and makeup, 99% of men won't notice me at all, much less fall at my feel begging to be spanked and pegged. Their fantasy is very specific - THIS look, doing THAT act. Anything else is invisible to them. So when I am seeking a sub, such as on here or at a play party, I "Perform Femininity." And I do it well. Hence the emails. But other than that...   I become invisible if I wrap up my hair over a naked face to do yardwork. Not to everyone, but to a majority of the male population. Which is why so many me

Femdom should be about finding joy and pleasure in a dynamic that suits you and your partner(s). Not about fixing a sub's sexism- not that it would work anyways. Most people I've talked to say that their desire for femdom predates knowledge of femdom, or of sexual arousal. While some people may have a more concrete "I'm into femdom because of a specific reason" most people I interact with like it because they like it. Vanilla people don't have to have reasons to like vanilla sex.

I'm an open book! Ask me anything! It seems on the surface to be a very friendly declaration. Maybe you think "Wow, anything!? How brave!" And perhaps they are being brave and truly would answer any question put to them. But my experience is different. When someone says "ask me anything," their contribution to getting to know each other frequently stops there except for answering direct questions asked of them. There is frequently no sharing of "more" or stories of "Oh, when that happened to me..." Instead the only things I learn are the things I ask directly. Which shifts the emotional burden of getting to know each other from "US" to "ME." And later on, if I didnt know something, the blame shifts to me for not having the forethought to ask, rather than it being on them for not volunteering relevant information, or better yet shared blame for not getting to know each other better before XYZ. My first marriage was to a man that I believe was and still is a compulsive liar. And one thing he did that was excruciating to me was NEVER volunteer information. It was a method of CYA (Cover Your Ass) so that if he had to cover something up, the less that was known the fewer things he had to cover or sweep under the rug. Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth. So I admit, when I see "I'm an open book!" I have a knee jerk reaction, but it is not solely based on the experience with my ex-husband. I have dealt with more than a handful of people with that mantra both online and off over the years and for the most part, they have similar traits. No volunteering information, only answer if asked, no sharing about experiences spontaneously, and only share as much information as necessary to cover the question. My advice (unsolicited, worth what you pay for it) if you use one of these phrases and you are sincerely trying to be open and brave, is this: 1.) Find another way to word it. Saying you are an open book triggers a knee jerk reaction in more people than just me. 2.) Take the time to realize what you would like to know about a potential partner in early getting to know each other stages 3.) Be prepared to offer the same information about yourself without waiting to be asked each specific piece of information before you share it. What this may look like: Hi I'm Elorin. "Hi, I'm Jim. Can you tell me a little about yourself?" Well, you found me on FetLife so you know I'm kinky. I've been into kink for over 20 years, I consider myself a Dominant Sadistic leaning switch and I like canes. You don't have to tell everything at one question. But you don't have to make them dig for pieces of information, either. I didn't volunteer information about my relationship status, the number of pets I have, or my sexual orientation. You can give that information as it comes up. But don't be of the mindset that you need to hoard your information anymore than that each question needs a two page info dump. Pace yourself, be open, and share equal and similar information to what someone shares with you. My $0.02 ~Me

It's Bewildering. So, I'm absolutely bewildered by a certain female submissive that adds me to their friends list, AND adds me to their favourites, but doesn't answer any messages, then deletes the last message without even reading it! Can anyone explain that to me? Is there really that many females on this site that really are a waste of time? I mean why would you do all that if you've no intention of communicating? Does my profile make me look strict and scary? I really am not. I'm a genuine, nice, easy going person who'll chat to anyone. The only time I'm strict and scary is when I'm dealing with a bratty or disobedient sub or slave. Anyway, rant over lol. If any subs do like the sound of my profile please chat to me. You never know I might be just what you're looking for.

Noone Owes You A living In the last few weeks, I've learned a lot of painful lessons. Top of the list is learning that no matter how solid you may think something is, no matter how well built and diligently assembled you may feel it is, no matter how recently it's solidity was tested and found good and true, that something can fail with breathtaking speed. Literally here today, gone tomorrow. As a consequence, I find myself amazed that I STILL have to learn not to put too much reliance on one thing. We all need supports, we all need things and people in our lives that matter to us and who we matter to, but the lesson is that such things and people must, by virtue of necessity, be a plural. If we become too reliant on a single support then we run the risk that, should that support fail us then we fail with it. The collapse can be dangerous mentally, emotionally and physically because not only is so much of our structure built on that support, but there's not a huge amount left to work with when it's gone. So spread the load, don't put too many eggs in one basket and, whatever you do, don't put all the eggs in one basket. Secondly, and equally surprising that I STILL haven't learned it, is that as much as we want to be good for others and to show them love and support and kindness, we have to also do that for ourselves. We must remember to be an advocate for and believer in ourselves before we attempt to do those things for another. I feel this is for two reasons. Firstly, if we cannot be for ourselves what we seek to be for others, how much value does what we offer actually have in our own eyes? How can we offer ourselves to another if we don't think we have much value and, in truth, don't actually want or like our self? Isn't that basically re-gifting the shitty present you got for Christmas or a birthday, and if it is what kind of a way is that to treat or see either ourselves or the person we offer ourselves to? Aren't we essentially saying that we hold them in such high regard we want them to have something we don't value or like or have a use for? Secondly, assuming we do value our own love and support and kindness, we must always keep a personal stash of it just for our use. We must do this  otherwise we risk the damaging, diminishing effaspects of someone taking those valued parts of ourselves and, instead of giving us the best of them in return, suddenly deciding they've had their fill and they're moving on. We are left not just lacking in the resources we need to function in their absence, but also knowing that we only have ourselves to blame for assuming that just because we wanted the best for them doesn't mean they're obliged to want the best for us. And if they did once, we have no right to assume they will continue to do so just because we want them to. The third lesson is simple; people change, and nothing changes people like other people. We are all dynamic, constantly evolving and constantly discovering new places we want to go and new people want to be with and new people we want to become. And if that holds true for others then by definition it can and should hold true for us. We are not who we were, we are not really who we because really we're just constantly becoming who we will be. In the face of that, stability is an illusion and the only person we can and should truly depend on is ourselves. Everything and everyone else is temporary in our lives. We are permanent. And the last lesson is a cliche. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.

I just bought some new tangerine colored panties and thought about going to the ABS, so I went home to change into some pretty underthings. i then went to my go-to ABS wearing a shear white button down cover-up, a white bandeau bra and my new tangerine colored panties under my pants. i bought my tokens, and as i walked to the back room, i unbuttoned my cover-up leaving my bra exposed. I sat down in the booth and it wasn’t long before I was sucking on a nice cock. After I finished off the second cock, a guy came into my booth waving me outside of my booth and into another booth. i walked in - a guy was stroking his Big Black Cock. It was the biggest cock i have ever saw, i mean it was massive! He pointed to my crotch and I lowered my jeans showing him my panties. He pointed again, and i lowered my panties showing him my little clitty. He stood up and pulled my clitty next to his cock. It was extremely humiliating to see my little white clitty next to his massive black cock. He put his arm on my shoulder directing me down to a stooping position, right in front of his cock. At first, it was all i could do just to get the head of his cock in my mouth, slowly i was able to get further down his shaft. After a while, he start to moan and thrusting his cock forward into my mouth. Shortly after that, he started to cum. After he filled my mouth with cum, he pulled out and his cum was still dripping out of his cock. He pulled up his pants and left.                

You feel as if you're caught in the sticky web of a venomous and POWERFUL Black Widow spider. You want to escape... But you can't. And at the same time - You don't want to. You know those deadly, sharp fangs just may be the end of you... But your curiosity is at it's peak. Will She really eat me alive? You wonder... How powerful can She REALLY BE? Your heart beats rapidly at the thought of 'The Black Widow' - You can feel your heart in your throat. Beads of sweat drip down your pathetic little face! She's coming closer... And closer.... Too close for your comfort! And as she crawls to you with those poisonous sacs prepared to BITE - You realize.... Everything's OK. This is where you belong. The Black Widow didn't drag you here! YOU were the one eyeing the web! YOU were the one who felt it was 'safe' to enter, fully aware of the "could be's" and "probably so's". YOU were the one who entered on YOUR own free will! This wasn't a TRAP. You stumbled across Her web FOR A REASON. Her fangs are closer to you now as you again realize - Your "free will" is now Her's. The Black Widow is your new MASTER!It's time. Time for the BITE. You close your eyes as you find a mental place of relaxation. You're ready! You've eyed The Black Widow's nest for far too long... You've witnessed what She's done to those prior to you. Curiosity lured you in. Jealousy of the "others" may have also played a part. You've yearned to know what THEY felt while they were with HER. And now here's your oppurtunity... You're ready to DIE at Her fangs and be BORN AGAIN to serve Her. This is your new life - In Her web, catering to Her needs. This IS afterall, HER WORLD. And you were just a lost soul trying to find your way......You've found it now.. You've found yourself! You've found that your way is HER way! And all it took was a PAINLESS bite from The Powerful Black Widow.

I was not interested in meeting this person because he's very busy and I need someone that's has more time like myself. He went on a little bit of a rampage about earning money which I totally understand and I am a strong believer in that family comes first. I did not care anything about how much money he made or expected to earn Tell me what y'all think about this reply    Maam Just one question. Why is it that people that do not make much money have no idea what it takes to make a great deal. Time is the key. Yet people who do not make alot always wish to make more. Yet when You do make more than they never understand what it took. Yes i have responsibilities that go beyond this lifestyle. That does mean i am busy. But i take time for those i care for and the One i wish to serve. But i cannot drop everything at a seconds notice. i have to plan. Do i place money over my person. Yes, everyone does. Because it is what pays the bills and gives us those benefits we enjoy. And if You do not believe that statement go find a homeless person and give them a thousand in cash. Because if the money did not matter than You would do that everyday. Thanks for the reply. i have tried. 

4/19/2024 7:38:34 AM I detest the world of text and email is little better.  How do we get to know one another?  Talking by phone is good, sharing space is better.  Nothing replaces breathing like air.     I'm here seeking now and am looking to install a slave in reasonably short order.  I've no intention of playing with ya'll for months on end.  We talk, we meet, we do.   While different aspaspects are new, unclear, or undefined, this is not an impossible ask.   This relating we do touches on our core and when we text and email, we are agreeing to open ourselves to misinterpretation.  We have lives going on, usually complex and not meeting our inner needs, we are over tired, sick or caring for others.  We dont have the luxury of seeing one another at work or at the pub to work things through.  We need to listen and give the benefit of the doubt until or unless discussions implode.     Have you ever heard that the more ingredients in a food, the worse it is for your body?  Bingo!  The more division we put between us and our get to know, the harder that climb and claiming is going to be because their is more opportunity for misunderstanding.

Sometimes physical things are not the heaviest things to remove.  Told that just now to a friend who recently lost their mother, and was tasked with cleaning out the house.  Sometimes i say things so deep, that i make myself pause and think. Last night, i was venting to one of the people in my RPG guild in ESO.  He was saying how he just needed reminders about posting stuff on the site and whatnot.  i told him i was done giving him reminders, and he asked why.  That was when a dam i hadn't known was ready to break, burst.  i told him, that if someone really wants to do something, they will do it.  They will do whatever they must, to ensure it happens. i reminded him that he has a wife, and a professional life, and he must be doing well enough to govern himself.  i asked him, who looks after me, who gives me reminders to do things? i reminded him, how i have -no one-.  i have sticky notes all over the place, a phone full of alarms and reminders, because my memory is crap... How is it fair, that i should have to hand-hold grown adults in the guild, to remind them and chase after them to look after their own characters.  Told him i was done, time people sink or swim. Of course, all that has ~nothing~ do to with the Lifestyle or genre on this site... Just another peek though, into my mundane life.    

Looking for a connection with someone who hasn't logged in since 2014? Just looking for Friends Only but would love pages and pages of profiles whose last login is 3 years ago, 10 years ago, or more? Don't worry! We at CollarsSpace have you covered too! Just click on "Local Users" and you'll find page after page of profiles that haven't been logged into since 2019, since 2014, since 2010 or even since the first decade of the century! Yes there's profiles not used since 2005 and we'll make sure to disproportionately feature them extra prominently! Oh shucks, you're quite welcome.. But kidding aside folks: It didn't used to be this way until a couple of years ago, when this  started..Before that time, not that many years ago, the Local Users page was not this way, and worked fine. If it's on purpose to "protect people" from getting a huge amount of email the first week then they could just remove the section. Pretty sure that some do not need or want that 'protection' but if that was the goal, then they could remove the section, so seems to be a software issue. No, it's not random dates, either, it changed radically at some point, from a mix of Last Online dates as you'd expect, and mostly not that long ago, to very heavily tilted to like 95 percent of profiles shown (probably more, the exceptions are quite rare) being those that haven't been used for many, many years. Anyone have insight into the minds or intentions of the administrators, or the situation they are in?

How many of us find the treasure we've sought for so long?  How many of us give up and just accept what is in front of us?  How many of us are truly sincere and willing to kiss a few frogs  while trying to find our kinky slave or the pearl.   Someone suggested I should put up a picture and that My feed would blow up.  That's not what I want.  Let's be real, the one or two or three I want may not be here, it’s like finding a needle in a haystack. Lol I'm sure there is a more up to date analogy.   Yet we persevere hopeful for a meaningful connection.  They are few and far between, but on ocassion we meet someone, strike up a conversation and even a friendship.   Where is the boy you want to beat when frustration is high?  Where is the slave You want to kneel and do whatever You  command? Where is the man you want to rub Your back and have a meaningful conversation with? it's a dichotomy, can you find both in the same individual or do You have a stable of eager boys ready to serve? Time to find what's right for Me!  The search continues.  Goddess

:'( :"""( :"( :""(  wish i had someone to be here care ease my pain a little comfort hold me something. so hurting down used cheated on lied to hurt never good enough so much bad in life and hurt

I was here awhile back and left. Hello again. I propose a power exchange. About me. I am a strong willed woman. I know what I want in life and am patient enough to wait for it. I've been active in this lifestyle for over 18 years. I would describe myself as a firm and demanding, loving sadistic, that delights in pushing her playthings to the point that is just this side of no return. I expect obedience. I give love, kink and a place to belong (kneeling at my feet). The setting. I live in the woods on the river, deep in the heart of a vast and beautiful land. Where the sun rarely sets in the middle of summer and rarely peeks it's head out in the middle of its winter wonderland. The exchange. I want to play with you. To hurt and humiliate you. To tend your wounds and then hurt you some more. At the end of the day I want you curled at my feet with a hot cup of tea in hand while we share witty banter about the days many activities. I also want my dishes done. My floor scrubbed. My door fixed. My garage cleaned. My art room organized. My garden weeded. My front deck built. This could start as a two week vacation or a repeat visit but should end as a lifetime venture. Serious inquiries preferred.

Phew and thank god!   I nearly forked out just under £500 on the wrong specimen: 1. £295 for harness gear - custom made still lush 2. £50 for the application in 2 sizes 3. £95 rope bondage lesson but getting discount as the teacher is an old friend of mine   Will still spend for myself but if I ask a man questions it means I am investing time to understand how to give you what you want. You can't give me a second, ok, harness yourself.   I am good.   Still investing in the supplies just finding a worthy destination. Some people like to talk forever and not act on their impulse I was thinking lets act on the impulse not just talk about it.

POWER  Whenever a person applies for a position, we usually make inquiries into their references and previous work performance.  From thiswe get first hand input on job performance, teamwork, punctuality, adherence to company policy and so on.   Let's take a look at the references of some of the top aides and cabinet members regarding Former President Trump... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Republicans_who_oppose_the_Donald_Trump_2024_presidential_campaign Previous... VICE PRESIDENT PENCE! National Security Advisor Dir. National Intelligence TWO Secretary's of Defense Secretary of Homeland Security TWO National Security Advisors Secretary of the Army And the list just goes on and on and on and on.   People need to do some serious homework and stop reading one word signs at the red light. https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/War/Bob-Woodward/9781668052273 https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Rage/Bob-Woodward/9781982131746 https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Trump-Tapes/Bob-Woodward/9781668028148 https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Fear/Bob-Woodward/9781501175527

Let's make on thing crystal clear; all Bulls are tops but not all tops are Bulls. A Bull is a tamer of men and a trainer. Str8 men are a very complex lot to generalize about them. However, in my years I realized that for many str8 males is more titillating to get mounted than to suck a dick. Perhaps because for them is a test of strength and resistance versus kneeling in front of a cock and worshipping it, which triggers all the bad epithets of their lives "cock sucker." For many males to go beyond an insult that they most likely used as a putdown is the ultimate humiliatiation; go figure. Even in cuckolding scenes males react the same way and it is the ultimate degradation. The taming of males is not new, look at Bootcamp in the armed forces and also in sports teams, as I mentioned in another journal. In reality the idea is the same to break all barriers and build a man that is moldavble and ready to respond to the Master's touch, voice, and ministrations.  Most str8 males wonder about the idea of M2M sex and bonding and in many instances it will require for the Bull to mount and all out assault to their sense of masculinity and heterosexuality. That's where a good Bull is at its best. Moving and creating a serious doubt about the above mentioned issues. I've seen those walls stumble like a house of cards. The first realization is the answer to the question, who is the best man? and if a Bull really is what he claims, he will always be the best Man in all circumstances. In my experience in cuckolding situations the husband wants cock but will deny that inclination at all cost. Yet, if he is "forced by the wife" he can save whatever shred of dominance he thought he had. Once that resistance is bridged you will realize that in the intimacy of the afterglow of sex they become cuddly like a puppy. moreover, only a Bull with restore somewhat the lost masculinity as he understands it. Working towards that goal he will follow you to the end of the world with you owning his full sexuality. He will perhaps go back to his wife or gfs but he will always be yours to mount and breed. It is always so pleasurable to send them back home well fucked and stretched and unable to ejaculate because between the two only on breed and it is not him. As a Bull you know he is yours any way you want. However, outside only him will feel your poorer and control. Even if he go back to women which is his choice , he will mount them imitating you and doing it for you.  I had the pleasure of a baby named afterr me, and that’s the ultimate surender. It is his baby., now a teen, but every time he calls him he calls me. A male who loves you is a treasure to be had and a partner to nurture and possess beyond the physical.

The Weight of Three Minutes - An Erotic Short Story  The marble is cold under your knees. I designed the room precisely for this quality of cold, for the way it travels upward through a kneeling body and reminds it, without a word from me, of exactly where it is. The morning light moves across your bowed shoulders and finds the faint lines on your skin, my lines, exactly where I left them.   You hold the cup steady. I will give you that.   My fingers brush yours as I take it. A conductivity test, reading the current of you through brief contact. You do not tremble. Good. I bring the rim to my lips.   The first sip tells me everything. The base notes are correct, the Darjeeling first flush I require. But beneath it, the steep is wrong. Three minutes would have given me what I require. You gave me four. The tannins have opened in a way they should not have been permitted to, and the result is an astringency that sits at the back of the palate like a small, deliberate insult.   You know. You felt it before I tasted it, felt the error in the air the way a barometer feels weather. Your world has narrowed to the space between my slippered feet. Good. That is where it belongs.   I say your name. Just that.   "Yes, Goddess." The word hangs in the quiet room like an offering I have not yet decided to accept.   "The specifications are precise and they are not suggestions. Water temperature ninety degrees. Steep time three minutes. Measured. Not estimated. Not felt."   "Yes, Goddess."   "Explain the deviation."   The muscle in your jaw tightens. I catalog it. "The leaves were newer stock. I thought a longer steep would develop the flavor more fully. Bring out the muscatel notes you prefer."   "You thought."   I begin to circle you. Slowly. I am never in any hurry. I place my gaze on the back of your neck with the deliberate weight of something being pressed into soft material.   "You introduced variables. You assumed. Perfection does not accommodate feeling. The muscatel note I prefer is arrived at in precisely three minutes. Not your interpretation. Not your instinct. Three minutes, measured, as specified."   "A flaw in the cup is a flaw in the man. Do you doubt my parameters?"   "No, Goddess. Never."   But your fingers curl inward where they rest on your thighs. I see it. I note it. Nothing is too small to matter.   "Stand."   You rise in one fluid motion, taller than me, broader. And yet you make yourself smaller in my presence, as you have learned to do. It is one of the things I have built in you that I find most satisfying.   "Look at me."   Your eyes meet mine. The familiar desperate focus is there, the terror of demotion. But beneath it, a flicker. Not defiance. Something more interesting. A spark of independent thought, alive and un-extinguished.   My fingers, cool and precise, trace the line of your jaw. The shudder that moves through you is full-bodied and involuntary. Your breath catches.   "The grade for today's service is pending. We will see if the rest of your performance can correct the imbalance."   I turn toward the lounge. "Follow."   Two steps behind, as trained. The cage sits in its corner, black steel and clean lines, always the outer boundary of the visible world.   "Kneel here. You will remain until I have need of you. You will not speak. You will not move. You will contemplate the difference between three minutes and four."   You sink into position. Back straight, hands on thighs, head at the precise angle I have trained into you. You are, when you are like this, a beautiful object. I have made you that.   Not a muscle moves. Your breathing barely disturbs the air. Every resource of you pointed at the single task of being still enough to please me.   And yet. You chose to deviate. You chose to trust your own palate over my doctrine.   Something uncoils in my attention. Not anger. Sharper. Interest, which in my world is rarer and more dangerous than fury.   I say your name again, soft as a petal released from a great height.   Your eyes lift instantly.   "Come here."   You cross the distance on your knees and stop before me, your face level with my lap. You wait with your entire body.   "The grade is failing. A failing slave is placed in the cage. Denied touch. Denied sight."   Your throat moves. "Yes, Goddess."   "Do you wish to be caged?"   "I wish only what you wish, Goddess."   "That is not an answer. It is a recitation. The one who extended the steep had a wish. What was it?"   "I wished for it to be perfect for you. Not just correct. Perfect. The new harvest felt like an opportunity and I wanted to find something in it that you had not yet tasted."   There it is. Your ambition, layered over my specifications, believing itself generous.   I slide my fingers into your hair and close them. The breath that leaves you is unsteady. Your eyes close. "Your wish introduced error," I say, close to your ear. "Your personal pursuit of my pleasure contaminated the delivery of it. That is the failure."   I pull your head back. Your eyes open, wide, stripped of calculation. Simply present. Exposed. Looking up at the only person in your world who matters.   "And yet," my thumb finds the pulse hammering in your throat, "it was a beautiful ambition."   I release you.   "The grade remains failing. But the correction will be hands-on."   "Remove your shirt."

As a Master I envision my role as more than just a mere figure in their lives, but rather as a sentinel, a guardian who stands at the forefront of their futures. It's an inherent part of my responsibilities and duties to shield them from harm, while also steering them in the right direction. In this world filled with endless possibilities, paths and unforeseen challenges, I perceive myself as the beacon of light that navigates them through their journeys.  Moreover, it is my explicit role to ensure they become the most refined versions of themselves. I do not wish for them to merely become part of the crowd, but to fully embrace their uniqueness and potential, and ultimately realize the zenith of their capabilities. The world we live in is diverse and enriched with various talents, abilities, and strengths. Therefore, I bear the responsibility of kindling the spark within them, helping them unearth their hidden talents, fostering their skills, and aiding them in scaling new heights of achievement.  It's crucial to understand that it is not about trying to mold them into something they are not, but rather assisting them in tapping into the reservoir of potential that lies within, to become the best versions of themselves. This entails encouraging them to consistently strive for excellence, motivating them to surpass their limitations, and helping them cultivate an indomitable spirit that cherishes the pursuit of learning, growing, and evolving.    

Things i wounder, Are there any real people left on here ? is Fetlife the place to really connect?  AFF and collace seem full of Wanna be's and people looking for KINK of every sortf  ( not a bad thing ) Just real folks seem hard to find. Read plenty of profiles every week, I find more and more that people are full of doodooo ! I read im a submissive im a slave.. But dont say this to me or i dont do this or ill block you if you say this or are a republican lol . I have been in this lifestyle for over 30 years and it sure has changed ! Maybe I should just go back to normal life. This lifestyle has gone to a new low level and people who post are 80% nieve and dont know what a slave or submissive is ! They know KINK for sure but not how to act or speak as they claim they are !  KINK is about sex and fettishes lifestyle is much more then that ! if your a KINKSTER great !  but please dont caim to me a Slave of Submissive lol say what you want and dont . Politics , Religon much like in bars has no place here ! Just be happy ! 

profiles take far too long to update on here, so here is what would be my updated profile...    Friendly notice:  *Please read before messaging - it’ll save us both time :)*    These are just *my* preferences, no offence intended.    - Age range **29-45** -  **NO** interest in joining an existing couple/dynamic -  **NO** interest in married/partnered up men - **NO** interest in online/cyber relationships  - **NO** interest in one off meets  - **NO** interest in switching  - **PLEASE** do **NOT** send me dick pics or request any nudes from me   The Vanilla Stuff:   I am 26 years old and I live alone in a sleepy little village in Oxfordshire. I currently work part time. I enjoy spending my free time socialising with my friends/family, going for long country walks, swimming, dining out and weekends away. I passed my driving test earlier in the year so I am always taking myself on adventures. I am lucky enough to be well travelled and have been on some amazing holidays to beautiful countries. I love cooking and baking (I make a mean cookie). I used to work for a local radio station so I have a strong passion for music… anything 70’s or 80’s. I don’t watch much TV but I do have a slight obsession with the BBC series ‘Inside No. 9’ (if you’ve never seen it, you’re in for a treat!)    I am very calm, patient, honest, understanding and I like to think a caring person. I always try to see the best in people, and will always do what I can to help and support others. I like to have a laugh, and would say I have a somewhat dry and at times dark sense of humour.    Now is probably a good time to mention that... **I am autistic**. Please don't let this put you off. I’d like to make it clear that being autistic does not hold me back in life. I am able to work, I live alone, I drive, and I lead a fairly “normal” life. For me it mostly means that I struggle in some social situations, especially when meeting new people, or going to new unfamiliar places - although I always try to push myself and overcome these social barriers. I don’t let being autistic hold me back or dominate (the irony) my life. If you’d like to know more then feel free to ask me any questions. I’ve written a couple of things **(see below)** which may be helpful.    - [A guide for potential Doms ](https://fetlife.com/users/15225326/posts/10736910) - [Autism, kink and me ](https://fetlife.com/users/15225326/posts/10736903)   I am very much a ‘plain Jane’. I don’t cover myself in make-up, fake tan, and I have never used fillers. I am more comfortable in long dress tops and leggings than overly revealing clothing. I am 5’3, curvy, have shoulder length auburn hair, hazel eyes, mostly wear glasses, and have very pale skin.     The Kinky Stuff:   For as long as I can remember I have always been interested in the idea of BDSM and being submissive, even before I knew what BDSM was I found myself having thoughts of wanting to be tied up, humiliated, degraded, hurt, and used and abused during sex. All my previous relationships had been very vanilla, so I never had a chance to explore my submissive side until a few years ago when I began seeing an older guy. He was not a Dom, but he was kinky as fuck… he would restrain me, gag and blindfold me, use canes, floggers and riding crops on me, and have rougher sex with me - to date he’s the only guy to ever make me cum! Since then I have craved nothing more than to explore my submissive side fully within a D/s or M/s dynamic.    My kinks include: *impact play, breath play, restraints, edge play, humiliation, degradation, face slapping, nipple torture, blindfolds, gags, punishments, praise, orgasm control/denial, hair pulling, rough sex, TPE, CNC and much, much more **(see my fetish list at the bottom of my profile).*** Safe words and aftercare are super important and non negotiable.    I am at a point now in my life where I am very happy and settled. I feel ready to start looking for a Dom/Master who I can go on a BDSM journey with. I no longer have any interest in finding a purely vanilla relationship. So… I am looking for an experienced Dom with a dark/sadistic streak who would be willing to take his time to train and guide me on this journey at a slow and steady pace. I realise that my wants from a dynamic probably mean I am more of a slave than a sub...I’m looking for a Master/Dom who over time I can **fully** submit to - in and out of the bedroom. A Dom who has a majority of control over my life, eg - full sexual control, control over my appearance, over my body and mind, over day to day activities etc. ideally - TPE eventually. A dynamic with rules which if broken result in punishments. A dynamic where my sole purpose is to fulfil the needs of my Dom. I crave nothing more than to be owned. To be the property of a Dom.   I am looking for **long term and regular,** with the end goal to be to eventually live together. I’m **not** looking for a dynamic where a Dom barks orders at me, cuts me off from the outside world and keeps me locked in his basement all day, every day. But where I can look after the house, prepare meals, do all the cleaning and laundry etc. what some may refer to as ‘1950’s living’. (I’d still be happy to remain working and help toward bills if that was agreed upon.) For me this ins't just about having rough sex and a bit of kinky fun, it means much more than that to me... maybe my autism plays a part in that, the want and need for structure and routine in life...   I prefer guys who are older **(29-45)**, who take good care of themselves, are respectful, caring and are drama free. I have no issues if you have children but I do **NOT** want children of my own.      End:   If you're interested then please feel free to message me. I have quite a few writings on my profile about myself, my (limited) previous kinky experiences, fantasies and information about my autism, so please take a look. I never respond to instant sex chat/stories or dick pics.    Ideally I’d prefer it if you can host or we meet in hotels to begin with - due to my autism I do not feel comfortable even having my friends and family over at my house, it's my sanctuary/safe space. I drive and enjoy driving, so distance is not a huge issue for me.    Unfortunately it’s got to the stage where I will just ignore messages from anybody that is outside of my preferred age range, or married, seeking an online dynamic or ONS, etc… I am simply not interested and far too many people just don’t respect this, so please do not be offended if I don’t respond, but that’s probably why.    As so many people don't tend to bother to read profiles on here, please let me know you have done so while messaging me! I hope to hear from you!  ~ M x   

Also known as "well, you're fat and ugly and I didn't like you anyway!" Yet another rando on 9/24/25 at 5:59 AM: Hi maam I am an exp slave and was in a female led marriage with my late wife for 11 years . I seek to serve again. I am a true service slave and verty domestic. I have no limits as long as legal. Hope we may talk maam   angeldmort on 9/24/25 at 9:30 AM: And what part of this email is something you haven't sent to every other Domme with a nice picture? Its insulting that you view us as interchangeable, generic vending machines for your kink.   Yet another rando on 9/24/25 at 10:20 AM: On tbe contrary. Not sure who told you that you have a nice picture   And so many of you guys insist it's Dommes who are fake... All this would be sad if it weren't so hilariously predictable.

I was asked about the history of M/s in the U.S. so I put together this paper for my class that I teach. As many of you know, I teach classes about our lifestyle. Consensual Master/slave (M/s) relationships form a distinctive branch of the larger BDSM world, built on explicit consent and mutual trust rather than coercion. Though the language echoes the United States’ painful legacy of slavery, within this context “slave” refers to a self-chosen role in which adults negotiate the terms of authority, service, and the freedom to leave at any time. Tracing the history of these relationships reveals a story of gradual emergence from secrecy to visibility and of a community that continually refines its ethical principles. Long before the term BDSM existed, underground currents of erotic power exchange ran through American life. In the nineteenth century, small “flagellation societies” and clandestine magazines catered to people fascinated by ritualized dominance and discipline. Early-twentieth-century fetish photography and private clubs in cities like New York and Chicago hinted at a subculture that could not yet show itself openly, constrained by strict obscenity laws and the threat of arrest. After World War II, a more public foundation appeared. Returning veterans formed motorcycle clubs and gay leather bars, creating what became known as leather culture. These spaces celebrated hierarchy, uniforms, and protocol—values familiar to men who had served in the military and who now sought camaraderie and structured erotic play. San Francisco’s South of Market district, Chicago’s Gold Coast bar, and New York’s Greenwich Village all nurtured this emerging aesthetic. While not every leather relationship was explicitly Master/slave, the emphasis on ritual service and clearly defined roles foreshadowed the dynamics to come. The social upheavals of the 1960s and 1970s brought the first real stirrings of public organization. In 1971 the Eulenspiegel Society, or TES, was founded in New York as an educational and social group for people interested in consensual BDSM. TES meetings offered a rare safe space to discuss negotiation, service, and authority exchange. At the same time the gay liberation movement and the post-Stonewall push for visibility encouraged practitioners to speak more openly, while feminist debates over sexuality and power sharpened the community’s thinking about agency and consent. It was during this era that the term “Master/slave” began to be used more deliberately to describe ongoing power-exchange relationships rather than isolated encounters. Through the 1980s and 1990s the community expanded and codified its ethics. The principles of “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” became a rallying cry, soon joined by the idea of “Risk-Aware Consensual Kink,” which acknowledged that all play carries some danger if undertaken without careful negotiation. National gatherings such as Living in Leather and organizations like the National Leather Association connected practitioners across genders and orientations. Amid the HIV/AIDS crisis, leather and M/s groups became hubs of health education and mutual support. Competitions such as International Mr. Leather made formal presentations of Master/slave relationships more visible, and writers like Guy Baldwin explored the psychology of dominance and submission in influential essays and books. The arrival of the internet around the turn of the millennium transformed everything again. Email lists, online forums, and later social networks such as FetLife allowed people in small towns or conservative regions to find community, share protocols, and even post detailed M/s contracts. Education went global as conferences could draw participants from every region. Meanwhile, mainstream attention—from documentaries to the runaway success of Fifty Shades of Grey—brought BDSM into living rooms and office break rooms, if often in sensational or inaccurate ways. Academic researchers began publishing peer-reviewed studies that showed consensual power exchange could be compatible with psychological health and relationship satisfaction. Today’s M/s community in the United States is strikingly diverse. Participants span every gender, orientation, and cultural background. Annual gatherings such as the Master/slave Conference in Washington, D.C., offer advanced classes on negotiation, long-term dynamics, and the philosophy of service and ownership. Many households create written agreements spelling out duties, limits, and the right to revoke consent, underscoring that autonomy remains central even within total-power dynamics. Yet the term “slave” still prompts careful reflection. Some prefer alternatives like “property” or “servant,” while others reclaim the word as a conscious statement of agency. This ongoing conversation shows how the community remains attentive to the country’s history of chattel slavery and the need for language that honors both freedom and responsibility.  From clandestine nineteenth-century societies to today’s internet-connected conferences, the evolution of consensual Master/slave relationships in the United States is a story of people turning hierarchy into intimacy. Over more than a century, practitioners have built a culture grounded in negotiation, education, and mutual respect. Far from re-enacting oppression, these relationships transform the language of mastery and service into a chosen path of trust, discipline, and personal liberation.

Covid. Yep. Add me to the tally. I actually feel like I'm on the mend so I was shocked when I tested positive this morning. 8 days until Christmas. This might just give me a quiet Christmas at home, and really, isn't that the best present? No family drama! I'm on board with that. I mean, I'll see what my doctor says, but I'd rather not jeopardize anyone's health just to open some presents, and that's really saying something because I love presents. And if I can't smell or taste anything I'm going to live on spinach smoothies because why not? I already miss the scent of my dog, if you can believe it. She doesn't smell like dog. Or it's her own unique spin on dog. I miss it. She's been hovering more than usual, like a little four legged nurse. I even woke in the night to find her gently licking my side. Such a sweet girl. Can people pass covid to dogs? Don't tell me. I don't want to know. Except now I'm Googling.  Okay, it's rare, but possible. And I should avoid contact with her. Very unlikely. And she shouldn't sleep in my bed. Not happening. And I shouldn't snuggle her. Out of my control. I hope she's okay. It's too late for me. Save my dog. 

I could be your mother/ I could be your dream/ I could make it look like it never happened, leave it clean/ Oh I could be your friend/ Or I could be on my back/ I could beg, I could bully/ I could brace you for impact/ Oh I could be counterfeit/ I could be real/ I could be the wound around your neck/ You tell your friends you can heal/ I could be 500 virgins/ I could be 500 whores/ I could be anything, anything, anything but yours/   I could be your mother/ I could be mad/ I could talk utter bullshit, I could be matter of fact/ Oh I could be broken/ Or I could be whole/ I could be something to fix in your New Years resolution goal/ Oh I could be an angel/ I could be a jerk/ Make a plan to save me, you can choose if you want it to work/ I could be a purity to ruin/ Corrupt for you to restore/ I could be anything, anything, anything but yours/   I could be your mother/ I could be your dad/ I could be the family that you always wished that you had/ Oh I could be a kiss/ I could be a hit/ Let me know if you ever figure out the difference/ Oh I could be a fact/ I could be a lie/ I could be the truth you search for your whole life but never find/ I could be your bravado/ I could be gone tomorrow/ I could be anything, anything, anything.../

It was way too soon to be sodomized the first time someone tried.  I just couldn't take it.  It hurt so much that I avoided anal sex until I was in my early 50s.  Realizing how many years I wasted being afraid turned me into the eager slut I am now.  It's true.  I can't speak for anyone else but I have heard this happens to a lot of betas.  Anymore when anyone fucks me I lose all sense of manhood and experience a surge of femininity until they finish, sometimes even longer now.  It feels so right but it doesn't last like I want it to.  I'm sure the day is coming when I'll remain a gurl permanently. There are Doms and Dommes here who want submissives like me to feminize and control.  I might be the ideal one to serve you long term and live-in. So, please tell me, how can I serve you?  How do you see me fitting into your household and improving your life?  

Service person I was out walking along the board walk that runs in front of my condo along Puget Sound. This mile long walkway is busy with pedestrians many with their dogs getting their daily exercise in a rather spectacular setting: delightful. Anyway, most all one might encounter are vanilla types or if they are into D/s not ‘out of their particular closet.’ Most are older with various infirmaries, but, ambulatory. Many have dogs that are poorly trained. Dogs that jump at passersbys or are otherwise ill trained. Occasionally, there are service animals providing protection, direction and confidence to their owners. Rarely, there are guide dogs seeing for their blind wards. Behind me, as I walked, trialed, one and one half step and slightly to my left thank you, my slave property. it walked, as it should, with its eyes focused on my heels with its mouth firmly shut. When I stopped it stopped, as it should maintaining its distance and focus. I was stopped by a chatty elderly woman, vanilla no doubt, that wanted to engage in ‘pleasantries’ for her, no so much for me. Anyway, I put some effort into agreeing it was a beautiful day and dog owner should be more careful to pick up after their mutts etc.  Breaking my boredom she asked, “and who is this with you?” It then dawned on me what her reason probably was for interrupting my walk.  “This is a service person in training.” I said without prior intent or particular consideration for all honest things in my life.   “What in the world is a service person?” she demanded. “Well, (have you noticed how much BS is started with ‘well?’) there are people in the world that have various chronic afflictions that need careful monitoring. Everything from sleep walking to certain types of epilepsy to cardiac conditions etc. Some people have combinations of these afflictions. Although dogs can be trained for some situations training a dog for combinations gets impossible. And so, humans of a certain type are trained to the task.” She was not particularly impressed with my creative explanation, although I confess I enjoyed it a lot. “So what do I call you?” she addressed my slave. Now it knows it does not interact with others without my express permission. So, it looked at me with the ‘what do i do now’ look. “You will have to excuse my trainee for not responding. Just like the service dogs you might encounter, it (I did slip up with that ‘it’ she was vanilla after all) needs not be distracted by attention from others. You know like petting or talking to it (oops again).” With that I continued on my way with slave in trail. As I walked I was designing T shirts that proclaim service person in training for it and service trainer for me or some such variations. Anybody know where I might get T shirts custom printed?    

What kind of a Dom am I? Right away you can tell that I have a sadistic side. I've often used floggers, paddles and whips on the asses of those that were mine. Flogging the ass has been my favorite, I get into a kind of zone when I get into the groove of things. I just don't wind back and let 'er rip. I will repeatedly work a small spot over and over again building up the sensitivity until it gets to that stinging phase. Sure I could just crack a whip on her, but where is the fun in that? I like to put the work in. In this instance I like to work harder, not smarter. I like a little bit of ification, humiliation and degradation. Putting my fingers in her mouth and slide them down her throat, rubbing her and my spit in her face. Place a hand on her throat and squeeze with one hand and rub that little clit with the other. Tie her up and over stimulate that clit with a strong vibrator. Messy throat fucking and gagging, I love that saliva build up. Squirting. I love that as well, and have gotten pretty good at fingering it out of her and will see how many times I can get it out of her in a session. Those were some examples of my hard side, but I also have a soft side. I can comfort her, make her feel safe and loved. Treat her kindly and sweetly. I enjoy cuddling very much, because there is that feeling of closeness that is almost hard to describe when we are in each other's arms just enjoying each other's company. A submissive with the tendencies of a little would not be a terrible thing. The spectrum of BDSM is vast, and I do not have experience in every single thing. Though one of those things I would desire more of is a sub that would enjoy anal play. I've only dipped my toes in anal sex a little bit and used butt-plugs on them, just because the girls I have been with were not all too keen in exploring it very far, which I could respect. I would enjoy delving into using larger butt-plugs, anal beads, dildos, and maybe anal fisting, but that is a big maybe because my fists are on the large side. Those are more like wants than actual needs. I am pretty much open to just about anything except for blood and shit play. There is such a thing as too messy and smelly for me.

052426 Oy! Such fragility amongst some members.  Not ALL  men, but SOME men have been so PAMPERED, so sheltered in this life that they believe ALL WOMEN are there to serve their understandingS and expectationS.  I serve God, Me, Mum, and My cat lol  You are last on a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg list. I am NURTURING, KIND and hold HIGH EXPECTATIONS.  You will work to be PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY 100% available in My presance or you will not be in My life.    If you are interested in serving Me, we will need to get to know one another through speaking by phone. I am available SUNDAY THROUGH THURSDAY AFTER 6PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME AND THROUGH BLOCKED PHONE, CHAT/MEET OR TEAMS, and WITH ADVANCE NOTICE. I dont sign in daily and sometimes not for weeks at a time.  If we speak once and then dont speak again for several months, WE ARE STARTING OVER. Keep it real people.  Keep it real.      

Sugar, spice, and everything nice :> pretty n pink my favfav color. Hii I'm Makayla smooth latina sissy femboy on a new path starting HRT. I'm kinda new but know what I want.  Talk is cheap and flakes.  I don't even know what to say to u.  I never flake. I love excitement total submissive sissy slave willing to commit to it all for the right master.  Loyal fun-size super cute love panties thigh high socks. Skirts outfits and attention lol. I'm good around the house. Love poppers blindfolds and cuffs.  Mixed with sissy hypno and hallucinagentics -- mind blowing.  I know what it takes to be THE perfect liddo sissy and willing to wrap my life into it serving master 24/7 never saying no. Seeking a new chapter in my life so I preferred moving the heck away from "home' 

Be Available! Here is why I stress that potential online submissive men be single--meaning you should not be married or partnered or attached in any way:    I am not interested in competing for attention with this partner or spouse, nor am I interested in being their stand-in for a sexless relationship or otherwise help you sneak around behind their back. I do not intend to be held responsible should you be caught. And anyway, how can you truly be made mine if you belong to someone else?    Here is also why I make clear that you should be living alone--meaning you are the only one who resides in the house with no roommates or tenants (or partner or spouse):    If you feel the need to hide because you believe they would not understand, how can you freely behave in service to me? It would also mean never-ending waiting on my end until you were alone. Sure, you may have a job or may have an errand come up but at least when at home, you are able to freely behave according to your true nature (and my instructions).    Finally, here is why you being constantly busy or engaged will not work in my favor: Like the above two examples, it would hinder your availability and performance. I understand if you had a job that lasted from nine to five, but if the work (or any other activities) keeps you away for entire days, that does not make for satisfying service or effective communication (my tutelage and control). And I have done enough waiting.    At the end of the day, this is taking place between Me and you; the nature of the dynamic requires you to be at my beck and call as well as your undivided attention.    How can you make yourself useful to me if you are always hurting for time?    How can constant supervision be possible if you are hardly even there?    How would this respect my own time and energy?    I may have patience but only up to a certain point, especially if you’re screwing around and wasting time.

When my ex and I were exploring BDSM and doing research, I was more attracted to the submissive role for myself. I encouraged her toward taking the Domme role, and I would be her submissive, but she wasn’t interested. I even created a website dedicated to FLR, but she wanted me to be her Dom. But, my core was really very submissive to women. Now that I am single, I am very interested in exploring my submissive side with an amazing Domme. If you would like to see the FLR website I created, it’s    http://amazingflr.byethost8.com

This just to see what its say but I am way more than this but its was funny to try. lololol   == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  98% Rope bunny  94% Pet  93% Submissive  89% Voyeur  81% Experimentalist  79% Degradee  55% Slave  54% Exhibitionist  41% Masochist  35% Vanilla  27% Non-monogamist  5% Brat  0% Ageplayer  0% Boy/Girl 

== Results from bdsmtest.org: ==100% Degradee100% Masochist100% Rope bunny100% Slave100% Submissive95% Experimentalist94% Voyeur91% Exhibitionist82% Primal (Prey)80% Pet49% Non-monogamist15% Vanilla10% Owner8% Primal (Hunter)0% Daddy/Mommy0% Rigger0% Ageplayer0% Brat0% Brat tamer0% Degrader0% Dominant0% Little0% Master/Mistress0% Sadist Limits only illegal things

My primary focus is on improving myself, my life, and my finances as I need my own business(es) going to get the fuck off SSI. I like to go out and do things.    Not just sex.  Like really, to all the men who think offering their random tongue to be used is attractive, it absolutely is not.  Buy some dental dams if you are tongue slut.   My first thought is how many std's do you have!?!?!    You can get them from oral sex and people who are full on adults who think about sex primarily, turn me off.  I understand it from teens to 30's... when you get to 40's or older, you had better have a lot more to talk about, think about and exist for you to to talk to me.    I got so bored with my last toy because he was ONLY a walking fucktoy, with paranoid delusions. The mind is a massive playground and you miss out just thinking about actual physical sex.  Lola the Iron Mistress  

Collarspace guidelines prohibit "trans exclusionary hate speech, consensual non-consensent, things which are unlawful, othering, culturally insensitive or hurtful". This and similar is common across social media. It's as if PC Principal has invaded and occupied our online spaces: https://youtu.be/Vvc1nxlJb-o?si=Jn3aS5FR-HX_E-8F

I know your out there I feel your breathing I sense your need to be controlled. I have been looking for you for several years now I’ve seen you in my mind bound, struggling with the chain that binds you. The need to be used kept. You need even the decision of who to belong to taken from you. You only want someone to come and take you give you a home and a purpose. You don’t want to play at being a slave you want to be a slave. Even if I never find you I will still know you’re out there denying to yourself that this is truly what you wish for. I have denied that this is who I truly am what I need and want for to long wearing the guise of the gentle patient Master when the sadistic black side of me hides within. I want to feel your fear your need for my uses of your mind and body. I ache to feel your hair wrapped in my fist my hand at your throat the fear and need in your eyes.

Today might become a special day for me.  It's the day I decided to fully give in, and commit to my sissy nature.  The very first time I'm actively searching for a dominant 24/7 owner to serve as live-in sissy maid.  Of course I'm aware that for such a complex and intimite dynamic to work, it's quiet important to get to know and learn about eachother for more than two days, but not afraid to admit that this is what I am hoping to find.  An experienced dom who knows how to control, condition, and further sissify me.  It's crazy what can happen in a year or two.  A rather vanilla straight male, transforming into a submissive obidient sissy crossdresser.  So proud that one by one, I started exposing myself to my family and friends.  Almost everybody knows now...  And I'm actually proud of myself that I did!   Yet I wonder?  Could all this actually be the result of the hypno I've been listening for some time now?  Who knows...    Interested dominants or sissy sisters, I'm always in for a chat...  Feel free to dm.    Love Nikita 😊      

Mr.McB writing from nyc   I am here seeking a very submissive housegirl a domestic slave a service minded girl a fully Owned property to be trained educated instructed for a longterm position in my life and in my home   I am retired  healthy  experienced  in Owning and training a girl  both or which  I have done  very successfully   I have a home here in nyc and can provide a strict safe place for a girl to learn how best to live  her life  in strict slavery the kind of life for which she was born   some sexual service is required  oral anal and body worship   but the girls behavior is whats most important to me my preference is for a slave to be kept in a state of  orgasm restriction for  extended periods of time   at the same time her most Respectful Obedience  will be worked on   a girls Obedience  is a special interest of mine as I am a Disciplinarian  so I am always looking  for a reason  to use the paddle   I will not hesitate to correct whenever she does not live up to the standards expected of her   I am also an everyday spanker something she will get simply  because a spanking  is always needed   and there will be oversight of her activities meaning all of them   if this strikes any interest? please say hello thank you for reading MstrB

This morning I saw the following on a profile from a heterosexual dom who has a wickledly fun screen name that gets my attention every time I see it. He asks,  "What can a straight male Dom do for a male slave? I am at a loss as to what I can do for male subs and slaves and why they look at my profile when I say no men?" So, I thought I would answer this. For the most simple response, speaking on behalf of all the kinky gays, someone with a great screen name like "IAMTHEBESTMASTER", or similar, makes one look no matter what they have between their legs. Second, sometimes a profile just slips through with the "couple" selection and/or even states sub males on the interest choices. Finally, speaking for me and I assume a select group of kinky gays, this is not about sex for me. I am driven by masculinity and, on my sub side, authority. Having a straight dom take control and train me like a naked employee where the need to please and be pleased is not based on sexual attraction is quite hot and will make me a better man all the way around. Also, it's just fun to look at what you can't have sometimes. So, there is my response.

The Officer's Seduction The night had a certain allure, a seductive darkness that seemed to beckon Seraphine Vale as she drove home from work. It was well past midnight, the hour when the world slept, and the roads were nearly deserted. Her shift at the art restoration studio had been particularly grueling, and she longed for the solace of her own bed. Little did she know, this night would offer a different kind of solace, one that would leave her breathless and trembling.   As she navigated the familiar route, her thoughts drifted, contemplating the intricate details of an ancient painting she had been working on. Seraphine's mind was a sanctuary of quiet concentration, her focus unwavering until a sudden flash of blue and red lights snapped her back to reality. She slowed her car to a halt, her heart pounding against her ribcage as she realized she had inadvertently strayed into a speed trap.   The officer who approached her vehicle was a striking figure, his tall, lean frame cloaked in the authoritative uniform of a police officer. It was Lucian Asterian, a man whose reputation preceded him, though not in the typical way of law enforcement. His dark, piercing eyes seemed to see right through her, and his presence was both commanding and unsettling.   "License and registration, please," his voice was deep and clipped, carrying an undertone of authority that sent a shiver down Seraphine's spine. She complied, her hands treming slightly as she handed over the requested documents. Lucian's gaze was intense, almost predatory, as if he was studying her, not just her papers.   "Step out of the car, Miss," he ordered, his voice laced with a hint of something that made Seraphine's stomach flutter. She hesitated, her mind racing with questions, but the command in his eyes left no room for argument. Slowly, she opened the door and stepped onto the deserted road, the cool night air caressing her skin.   Lucian's eyes roamed over her, taking in her slender form, clad in a simple black dress that accentuated her delicate curves. His gaze lingered on her face, noting the stormy gray eyes that seemed to mirror his own intensity. "Hands behind your back," he instructed, his voice now a low, seductive growl.   Seraphine's breath caught in her throat as she felt the cold metal of the handcuffs against her wrists. Lucian's touch was firm, his fingers grazing her skin as he secured the cuffs, sending a jolt of awareness through her body. She stood there, vulnerable and exposed, as he circled her, his eyes raking over her like a physical caress.   "What's a beautiful woman like you doing out here at this hour?" he murmured, his breath warm against her ear. Seraphine shivered, her body betraying her as she leaned into his touch. Lucian's hand slid down her arm, his fingers entwining with hers, and for a moment, she felt the warmth of his palm against her skin.   Then, without warning, he spun her around, pressing her body against the hood of her car. The cold metal was a stark contrast to the heat emanating from Lucian's body. He leaned in close, his lips brushing against her ear, his breath hot and intoxicating. "You're a naughty girl, breaking the rules," he whispered, his voice a husky purr.   Seraphine's heart was racing, her body responding to his words, to the dominance in his tone. She felt a rush of wetness between her thighs as he ran his hands up her sides, his fingers kneading her soft flesh. He squeezed her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her hardening nipples through the thin fabric of her dress, eliciting a soft moan from her lips.   "You like that, don't you?" he growled, his voice thick with desire. "You like being touched, being taken right here on the side of the road." His words were a taunt, a challenge, and Seraphine couldn't deny the truth in them. She nodded, her eyes closing as she surrendered to the sensations coursing through her.   Lucian's hands moved lower, his fingers dipping beneath the hem of her dress, tracing the lace of her panties. He teased her, his touch light and teasing, making her ache for more. With a swift motion, he tore her panties away, leaving her exposed and wanting.   "Please," she whispered, her voice hoarse with need. "I want..."   Lucian didn't let her finish. Instead, he gripped her hips, pulling her back against his hard length. She could feel his erection, straining against his uniform, as he positioned himself at her entrance. Without warning, he thrust forward, claiming her in one swift, brutal stroke.   Seraphine cried out, her body arching as he filled her, not with the gentleness she had anticipated, but with a rough, primal urgency. He pounded into her, his hips slamming against her buttocks, his hands gripping her hips tightly, leaving marks on her skin. The pain was exquisite, blending with the pleasure until she couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.   "You're so tight," he grunted, his breath hot against her neck. "So fucking wet." His words were crude, but they only served to heighten her arousal. She wanted to be used, to be taken by this man, in this moment, in the most primal way possible.   Lucian's rhythm was relentless, his body a powerful force driving into hers. He reached around, his fingers finding her clit, and began to rub in time with his thrusts. Seraphine's world narrowed to the sensations he was eliciting, the feel of his cock buried deep within her, the roughness of his fingers against her sensitive flesh.   "Cum for me," he demanded, his voice a harsh command. "Let me feel it, you beautiful bitch."   His words were like a trigger, and Seraphine's orgasm exploded through her, rippling waves of pleasure that left her gasping and trembling. She cried out, her body convulsing around him, her juices flowing freely as she climaxed. Lucian's own release followed swiftly, his cock throbbing as he emptied himself deep inside her, his hot seed filling her ass.   They stood there, panting, their bodies slick with sweat and the evidence of their passion. Lucian's hands released her hips, and he stepped back, his eyes never leaving hers. Seraphine felt exposed, vulnerable, and yet, there was a sense of power in her surrender.   He reached down, uncuffing her hands, and then, without a word, he adjusted his uniform, the bulge in his pants a testament to their encounter. Seraphine watched, her body still humming with pleasure, as he walked back to his patrol car.   As she slid back into the driver's seat, her dress in disarray and her body throbbing, she realized the detour had been more than just a chance encounter. It was a night that would forever be etched in her memory, a night where she had been taken, possessed, and left wanting more. As she drove away, the road ahead seemed brighter, as if the darkness had illuminated a new path, one that led straight to Lucian's door.

I want flowers. I want to whip you. I want to stroke your cheek and smile into your eyes. I want respect and awe and understanding and love. I want foot rubs and leg rubs and back rubs and anywhere rubs. I want you to know when to reach out to touch and when to kneel and wait. I want you to want me fiercely, desire me utterly. I want kisses. Little ones, fast ones, fierce ones, thigh-clenching-good kisses. I want you to touch me like you’re trying to memorize the texture and shape of me. I want affection and cuddling. I want you to drop your eyes when I demand and meet my eyes when we talk. I want you to miss me terribly when we’re apart. I want you to know what you mean to me, how I cherish you. I want humor and debate and dialog. I want you to kiss the side of my neck while your hands grip my hips, my back. I want to see you crawl – just for me. I want to look at you in that special way and see you breathe deeply with desire and anticipation of what you know is to come. I want to fuck you, penetrate you, tease you, deny you, please you, torture you. I want You.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

"So into you" or why ob- ject -ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is The subject today will be centered around ob- ject -ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. And that is the message. In song after song. "I saw you, I had a feeling, I have a want, I am thinking about you, I am having lots of thoughts about you, I'm having a fantacy about you, I'm deciding that the fantacy is a true representation of who you are, so now I'm building hopes, and I'm building expectations, and now I'm going to approach you , and you should share all my fantacies and fullfil the hopes and expecations rather than view me as some total stranger who's making weird sexual demands." (We won't even START discussing murder ballads. That came up recently too...) That is the message young guys get when they are first thinking about asking girls on a date. That this is how it happens. That this is normal. So when they do it, they are shocked and confused by the girl's reaction. Then again, young girls get this too, so plenty of times when a guy is inappropriate, before they've learned to be afraid of guys and their reaction to rejection, they belive they are supposed to be flattered that a guy is paying attention to them. Even if she doesn't like him, having a guy want you is important, a measure of your value as a woman. So rather than seeing a red flag for later, more aggressive poor behavior, they see it through the lens of "romance." They feel pretty and special and don't recognize healthy behavior when they see it elsewhere because this is how it happens, and what is normal. It's right up there with "he must like you if he punched you" in grade school turning into "he didnt mean it, you know he loves you" later when he beats her bloody later in life. Hell, I literally had this just yesterday. "Hello beautiful, I’ve always wanted to meet you , I love that hair , your so beautiful, I’m in (my town) until Jan 30th Love spoil you and finally get to actually meet you , I only been dreaming for years to do some sissy sessions with you " Never read a single line of my profile in all those "years." So he literally only knows that I have a nice picture. I point that out. (It's a thing for me...you may have noticed.) He responds "I know I need proper training but I know you can teach me !" Because of course, that would be my goal - to spend time and a lot of energy giving someone what they want when they couldn't spend 5 minutes reading my profile. I point out that he STILL hasn't read it, or addressed my reply, and that it was kind of insulting.  He pushed on, though - "We can go get coffee or meet at a munch or anything your up for , I’m only here to next Sunday , but after we meet and greet , I know you would always enjoy my company"  Because obviously, women enjoy men who they feel have insulted them. Especially when it's the BDSM equivalent of a one night stand.  Yes, I blocked him. He obviously wasn't going to catch a clue, even when smacked with a clue-by-four, so there was no point letting him keep messaging me until he got nasty.  He told me I was beautiful, so it automatically followed in his mind that I would immediately want to be alone, up close and personal, providing him his desired gratification, in a session with him, a total stranger, on the first meeting. And that his idea of "spoil" would be the same as mine. Or "proper training." He belived knew me, what I'd want, what I enjoy from my company, etc, without having to read a word I wrote, because he'd looked at my picture and had a feeling and built a fantasy and then expecations. And that who I was beyond my face (and hair) didn't matter.  Because I was not a person to him.  I was an object he desired... a fetish vending machine into which he felt he had put the appropriate coinage - a compliment on my looks. And he wasn't going to be desueded from that with reality or actual human interaction.  This is the world women live in. This is what "The Male Gaze" actually means. If we are attractive, we have value, but not humanity. If we are not attractive, we have no value, and are dehumanized.  You'd think men who want to be Dominated would behave at least slightly different, show at least surface respect to a Dominant Woman, but on average, they don't. And yet, right now, in several groups, there are guys going on about how hard it is to find a Mistress, by guys with the same empty profiles and dick pic avatars and tons of 'do me' groups. The same complaints, the same confusion, the same helplessness and yet the same refusal to make the efforts that would make it possible for a Dominant Woman to want to interact with them.  They are standing helplessly... hoping... being driven crazy... not understanding why we aren't "getting into" them.

This is my comment on a post by another Domme. I quote statements in her post and then comment. It has a lot to do with my previous journal post on Finding a Domme.  Your points - "Let’s be clear—finding a Domme for a genuine FLR, a 24/7 dynamic, isn’t just hard; it’s incredibly rare. You’re not after a casual fling. You’re seeking a deep, powerful connection that most people can only dream about." "You can keep chasing a fantasy, or you can face reality. The Domme you seek is out there, but finding Her demands effort, investment, and a willingness to reconsider what you’re willing to give." Investment does not have to be money. Think of everything else you have to give, invest time, emotion, etc, in her. Payment might be in triplicate in ways you cannot imagine. "A relationship with a Domme is no different. It requires investment—your time, energy, and resources. If you want to serve a powerful woman, be prepared to give." - Giving as in sweat equity. Be willing to do the work, and put your whole self into what you want at your core. I can't speak for all, but I would bet that in a loving relationship, she will pour sweat equity into you. It will look different from the D side, but you will feel it. The comments in the original post and discussions are interesting. They highlight differences in understanding what a lifestyle relationship looks like, interpretations, expectations, and desires.   A lot of communication needs to happen for a lifestyle relationship built to last.

Attention all Here is a cheat sheet for you: If you approach me without a greeting.... already not intrested I am not some fastfood place where you come and just place an order If you send me what YOU want to send me instead of what I asked for, I am moving on the the next email because obviously you either can not follow instruction, which is an important trait for a sub/slave OR you insist on doing things your way, which is NOT a good trait in a sub/slave Oh yeah, and the copy and paste thing, just shows you didn't take the time to read my profile and think we could be a match, just proves you mass mail and whoever responds is good enough for you. I've already moved on to the next message.  If you don't care why should I? There, hope that clears things up  

ABOUT ME:      I am a “Service Oriented” slave. I was born with a slave’s heart and nothing gives me greater pleasure than to Serve. As a slave, I know that BDSM is not about me, but how I may serve you and make your life easier for you. I possess honestly, integrity and ethics and I expect the same from the Dominate as well. I see my future where I will live in a rigid, powerful Female-Led Relationship where the Mistress will make and enforce the Rules of our relationship. What I Have to Offer: *I will accept your will and decisions without hesitation or ion. I WILL OBEY! *I will devote myself to fully pleasing you including doing all of the housework, laundry, shopping, etc. to remove any unwanted tasks from your life (Service Oriented Slave) *I will accept all forms of discipline and punishment when required to insure I remain focused on obeying your Rules, Commands and Instructions. Obviously, you may also punish me whenever you feel like doing so just for your amusement   Our Relationship: * You will determine my schedule and how I spend my time  in an effort to add quality to your life *You will decide what I wear and when I wear it to humiliate and control me * You will benefit from my unique wisdom and areas of expertise as developed over the years. However, the final decision in any matter is yours alone *Our relationship will be dedicated to a lifestyle, not a form of role-playing (Female Supremacy to male subservience) *Our relationship will be based on Trust and Compatibility. Such an arrangement like this is not something you just jump into without developing trust with each other *In its purest form, our relationship will be all about You.

My Personal D/s Relationship Requirements The question was posed to me (back in 2019) “What do you require in a D/s relationship?”  While at first, I thought it would be a simple reply over a text, one thought led to another and it quickly snowballed.  (Phrasing, I know…)  I quickly realized that there really was no quick, succinct answer and 70 characters would not be enough to relay my requirements.  Some thoughts came quickly (Phrasing!) while others I feel I need to ruminate on. First and foremost, I require honesty.  Don’t lie through omission or do it to save my feelings or whatever.  I’d rather have an honest, adult relationship rather than a childlike fabrication where I don’t know if I can trust what is being said to me.  You may be brand new and that’s as ok as being an experience veteran.  You may be barely legal; (that I will require ID for) I’ll still teach you.  If I can’t trust you, I can’t play with you. Secondly, I require that my “s” have the ability to effectively communicate with me.  Whether it’s with words, sign language, texting, or moaning, they need to be able to make their opinions known to me.  As the Top/Dom in the relationship, it ultimately falls to me whether to acquiesce or deny any requests.  The bottom needs to understand that I’m never going to do anything to intentionally harm them but I also recognize that I often fail to effectively communicate my actual intentions/motives if not asked the correct questions. That can be alarming or scary. I’m not going to punish someone for wanting to understand what I’m doing or thinking; I encourage questions.  If I’m not conveying myself satisfactorily to the point where danger may be legitimate, I do expect (safeword) to be invoked. I also expect to be kept in the loop as far as my bottom’s day to day life goes.  I don’t need a thorough breakdown (0700- woke up, 0703- used bathroom, etc.) but if there’s something bothering them, it will effect what happens between us.  One thing bothering them, one lingering suspicion about something seemingly trivial can and will through off their ability to assess a situation and their reaction to stimuli.  I do understand that, sometimes, a day can push you to a mental breaking point that just requires a thorough flogging to take your mind off it; if that’s what is needed, I will allow it but I will know to check in frequently.  Plus, especially if there’s distance between us, I like to know you’re still alive.  There’s nothing quite as undervalued as the text, “Hey. I had a rough day; I don’t feel like talking now.  I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.” That tells me you’re alive and I can back off on the worry. (Be ready at 6 am for my text/call though.)   The third thing I want out of D/s relationship is a connection.  Not just an interpersonal one, but one on a deep mental level.  For lack of a better phrase, I need to be in someone’s head.  I need to understand how they think on a deep level.  Many take my classic Cannibal question (yes, I got it from “Silence of the Lambs”), “What is your worst memory from childhood?” as overly personal and creepy.  Not my intent.  Unfortunately, to date, that is the best question (leading to follow ups) that I have found that truly lets me get into someone else’s head.  It tells you

On Losing the Thread I have lost my job. Layoffs, because the market is what it is right now, which is to say brutal and indifferent and entirely uninterested in timing or circumstance or the particular weight of losing income when everything else is already precarious. I am not alone in this. That does not make it lighter. Chicago may not be where I land. That sentence costs me something to write because I have fought for this city, for the proximity to my children's lives and the future I was building here, and the possibility of leaving it feels like one more thing being taken from a season that has already taken too much. I wanted so much more than this moment. I want to be honest about that without dressing it up. I wanted the beautiful home and the man on his knees inside it, wanted to be served with the devotion I have written about and dreamed about and know with complete certainty I deserve. I wanted mornings that felt like the life I designed rather than the life that is happening to me. I wanted to be so thoroughly served and so completely held that the hard seasons had somewhere soft to land. Instead I am here. Tired. Hoping anyway, because I do not seem to be built for the alternative. But today I am allowing myself to say: this is not what I wanted. I wanted more.   I still do.  

Communicating with Me.   Prospective slave property may want to go out of their way to show respect for Me as its potential Owner. So, how to show respect?   Here are a some guidelines: In each and every sentence addressed to Me slave should include the honorariums Sir, Master or both. Capitalization as demonstrated in this message should be observed, while, using lower case for any reference to it. To ask Me a question is allowed only with My permission. Since we are not face to face, it may beg permission from Me to be permitted to ask a question. No matter My response, it should always expressed gratitude taking My time begging for permission. There is a ritual for a slave to observe regarding getting permission to ask a question when in My presence. Gratitude is essential in growing proper mind set in a slave. it should never miss an opportunity to express gratitude. Flattering Me is encouraged. Repetition of the same flattering phrases is not. It must read all of My writings.  It should expect to travel to Me for inspection.   Until it have been inspected and taken to training, it has free choice, without recrimination, to observe the foregoing guidelines, or not. Without recriminations means its lack of following the guide lines will not keep it from having a successful inspection and entering the trial period.

A Master takes away his slave's free use of time. Her time no longer belongs to her. She rises in the morning when instructed, and her use of time is at Master's will. She will work at what Master orders when he tells her. If she works outside the home, she is expected back at a certain time, her time belongs to him. When she eats, sleeps, perhaps uses the bathroom, when she does her chores, and when and if she has leisure is not for her to decide. Her time is not her own. If Master calls her to his side, she goes, no matter what she was doing. Her time is not her own, it belongs to Master. When you take away a woman's free use of her time, it no longer belongs to her, but becomes Master's time. I think there is no more powerful psychological experience than that of not owning your own time. Physicality: The experience of one's body as one's own. A slave's body does not belong to her. She is instructed on how to wear her hair, whether and how to use makeup, when to be clothed, and in what clothing, and when to be naked, how to care for her skin and nails. She can be stripped and inspected at will. She is denied free access to her own pleasure. She may not masturbate without permission. She may not climax without permission. She may not take irin for a headache without permission. She has sex when, how, and with whom her Master decides. She must bear whatever pains are inflicted upon her. She has no right to say "no" to the use of her body. After a time, her psychological reality becomes "my body no longer belongs to me." When you take away a woman's free use and handling of her own body, it no longer belongs to her, but become's Master's property. It is a powerful shock that first moment a woman recognizes that her body is no longer her own. Privacy: We free beings are used to the right to privacy. We close bathroom doors. We perform our ablutions in private. We would prefer to be left alone when we are ill, perhaps, or cranky, or not looking our best. We hide the evidence of our menses: flush the tampons, wrap the used napkins. We take our deepest fears, our most intense angers, our illogical primitive emotions and hide them from others, lest they turn from us in disgust or fear. We note our dreams in morning and consign them to the dream ether from whence they come; they disturb us and we wish to forget. A slave has no right to any of that privacy. There is no private space in which a slave can hide from Master, either literally or metaphorically. She may not close a bathroom door. If Master wants her to experience her lack of privacy, he may choose to intrude upon her bathroom functions. She may not hide her fears, her angers, her emotions, for when Master intuits she is astir, he will be in her face until she opens them to him. When a woman has no privacy, neither physical nor psychological, she no longer owns her space, her external or internal space. When you take away a woman's privacy, she no longer owns her internal or external space, her very essence belongs to Master. We can see why this takes time. It takes time because one must repeatedly, consistently, doggedly take ownership of a woman's time and body, and strip her of the right to privacy. And it's no wonder there is resistance along the way: it's not only willfulness that must be addressed, but resistence out of fear when a woman begins to be transformed, when she feels her ownership of her time eroded, her ownership of her body stripped away, her privacy gone. A woman enters this process a free agent, comfortably familiar to herself, and is truly transformed. She becomes something more beautiful then she ever thought possible, she becomes a slave

They say before I knew you were mine, that I already was. That you knew from the start. From the beginning of time. Did you know how stubborn I'd be and how it's hard breaking and building someone being distants away? The ability to turn off submission when I want to do my own thing? As many times as I've sinned against you, I don't deserve you. Yet you stay, you say get back up try again. Even if we go through the same battle a thousand times you may go silent but you never leave. I feel my shame. I feel my guilt. I want to change but darling why is it so hard? I want to give you every good thing I am and know I could be. The potential is there waiting to be awakened into firey motivation and passion. Even if you can't save me, lead me in the way I know I should go so I don't influence others to do the wrong things. Let me be a righteous leader leading with grace and let me be a proper role model to look up too. If you can't save me, can you at least stick around until the end? I like you Jesus. Always have, always will. 

I came to the conclusion years ago that most men are on this site because they aren't truely honest with themselves.  So they have been on here long term, 1 year 5 years 10 years and more.  Why ?  Because they get comfortable in lying to themselves and eventually lying to others.  I'm not actually talking about dom men.  I'm more talking about sub/slaves.  If your just looking for weekend kink , just say so.  If your never going to move and your shoes are nailed down to the floor, just  put it in your profile or tell people that. If your never going to move but don't mind meeting someone and let her take control of your life , online, phone and meeting in person sometimes. No problem just say so.    The lies will ever get you anywhere. you might come on here in your 40's and next thing you know your in your 50's and beyond and just fooling yourself.  Chasing something you'll never get. What a waste of time and a life.  Do you think working and having some money means anything when your last breath is at hand ?   I promise you that you will look back and see what an actual waste your life was. you take nothing with you in the end , but still, you hold on to your pathitic life and lies.   It is a free man that breaks away from that thought and becomes what he knows in his heart is the right thing to do . It might sound like a contradition or an irony .... someone free enough to be enslaved by someone.  But in reality  it's about following your heart and mind and breaking away from all the " things " in this world.  I know not everyone will understand what I wrote but hopefully you'll re-read it and ask yourself serious questions.  The answers are in yourself as well. 

Hi to anyone who reads this. My profile page is blank because, when I first joined,  I had a problem,  I wrote about myself but for some reason,  I kept getting timed out and lost all that I had written.  I thought that I would do it later but, when I saw how long it took to get approved  I didn't want to wait that long again.    I am a straight guy with a good sense of humour, trustworthy, honest, loyal and very sincere in my search for a Dominant woman in a long term FLR relationship. I'm easy going eager to please,  love doing and pleasing,  I'm actually happiest when I'm doing things for others,  it gives me great pleasure in doing so.  I am willing to under go any training a Dom may have so that they could shape me to fit all of her wants, needs and desires.  I realise that some punishment would be needed to speed up any training program she may have, or even except the torture and punishment just for amusement.  Hopefully there is that special lady out there thats searching for me. I have good domestic skills and some d.i.y skills. 

So I've been getting a lot more hate messages from MAGATs of late.  I'm thinking it may be because the midterms are quickly approaching and they know new days will be dawning.  Some say this is not the place to express my political views.  I'd respond that my views are more about not wanting to attract tRumpanzees with no moral compass than being political.  But I'm often blocked after they show their asses which is ok.  I have no interest in convincing them they're ignorant pieces of shit if they still think he's a good president who is doing great things for this wonderful country. It boggles my mind to think there are still people who are supportive of him after its clear he needs to  be in prison or a nursing home. And that they're eager to defend him and vocalize their ignorance.  I'd be glad to have civil and intelligent discourses with them but they don't seem to be able to do that.  So AGAIN I will say PLEASE keep on strolling if you don't like what I have to say. That's the purpose of my rants.  Thank you for your attention to this matter. lol  

As for about me and who I am. Well most of it is in the profile.   But I am a skilled maker with slightly above skills in welding, metal working, woodworking, plastics, molding, 3d printing, cnc laser cutting, chainmail weaving, scene prop special effects, and a few other random skills.   I also have a high level of skill in photography, video production (both shooting and editing), audio production, photo retouching and manipulation as well as graphic design and media production. (BS in media production) I also dabble in fashion design with a strong interest in fetish ware. Currently teaching myself leather garment sewing, as well as latex/rubber creation. Been playing with bootware and am designing custom heels for high heel boots.   I'm looking for that one female artist who can transform me into a woman. As in post op grs, breast implants, plastic surgery, FFS etc.   In return, my skills and talents would be at her service,  including making a full dungeon with all the toys one could dream of. As I look more fem I would have no problem being a cam girl for her and after I am fully transitioned I would gladly be a beta dom, under her.

Farewell to Autumn - Witkiewicz He penetrated more and more violently the mouth, which now only gave way little by little to the pressure of his lips, his teeth and his tongue. It opened completely, transforming itself into a wet swamp and burning with incredible sensuality, it took gigantic dimensions, it was the only thing really existing. Hela's tongue slipped like a flame out of that slimy, mollucoid mass, touched her lips and tongue, and began to suck, irritating her mouth madly... The pleasure, which flowed through her whole body, seemed already peaking, and despite that it intensified more and more, becoming of an intolerable force, which bordered on pain. The contact of this tongue which seemed conscious of his actions, he felt it everywhere in the spine, in the kidneys, and there, where billions of beings conceived in him rushed towards life, without paying the least attention nor to his great love, neither to the meaning of his existence, nor to any metaphysics. In the darkness of the body, in the swollen glands, at the complicated crossroads of the nervous pathways, everything pressed with elementary force towards a single goal: the only reward of the duped mind was an inhuman pleasure which destroyed it, giving it loneliness. unconsciousness of the moment.

Smh at the multitude of bois within 50 miles that approach, engage,  insist they want to meet .. until we set a date and time, then backpedal and postpone or cancel with every excuse in the book .. Sooooo...I'm pretty much at the pt I don't wont cant believe anything anyone idk irl says cyber.   If you are one of the very rare pearls here that does want real-time Ds interactions come meet Me at the munch on Thursday 9 29 at Spins in Peekskill 6:30ish. It's an arcade with a bar in the back. I'm the One with long multicolored hair. .. restaurant upstairs is Fin and Brew if that's easier to goo gle Que sera .. or as history here proves, most likely not We.Shall.See

Does anyone else feel the pain!!!! I don't necessarily hate one-liners, but I do prefer to have more substantial and thoughtful conversations with people. It shows that they are genuinely interested in getting to know me and are willing to put in the effort to make a connection. When someone sends a one-liner, it can feel like they aren't really invested in the conversation or interested in me as a person. It's important to me to build meaningful connections with people, and that starts with engaging and thoughtful conversations. Of course, everyone has their own preferences and communication styles, so what works for me may not work for everyone. But as for me, I'm looking forward to having deep and meaningful conversations with those who are interested in getting to know me better! 🌸😊

I am a heterosexual submissive transwoman named Julie, and one of the several categories for which the modern term is sissy.  That means as a transwoman I am primarily attracted to men and am submissive to them, though I also enjoy other transwomen.  I am however bigender because I do not want to give up the societal advantages of being male to earn a living.  It took me a long time to figure these things out and realize I was not bisexual.  As a transwoman, I am ideally looking for long-term but occasional relationship with a mostly heterosexual man, ideally as his mistress.  I want to make a man really happy because I'll do things for him that most wives will not.  I will appear to him and behave for him as close to his ideal female partner as I can.*************************The one essential book every transwoman should read is Whipping Girl: A Transexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serano, now in its third edition (Seal Press, 2024).  This is a detailed analysis of what it means to be a transwoman and the obstacles we face.  It is important to note on this site that the title does not refer to masochism but to the frequent scapegoating of transwomen in the media as a threat to society.  Serano's argument is that transwomen are demonized because of the rampant misogyny of Western society, where any feminine traits are denigrated, and any masculinity, including the toxic masculinity of cultural conservatives, is privileged. Even some feminists are anti-feminine, not realizing that is probably because they have transmen tendencies.  Part of this "transmisogyny" is also the mistaken notion that male and female are opposites ("oppositional sexism") with nothing in between, and part of it is due to the mistaken belief that your birth gender cannot be changed.  But as the book points out, many men have some feminine traits and many women have some masculine traits.  The book also notes that we constantly unconsciously judge people as male or female based on just a few characteristics without every seeing their genitals or their chromosones, so a person's sex in society is not based on their genetics or organs.The third edition has many good rejoinders to current antitrans-hysteria, notably in the new last chapter.  3% of men and 3% of women appear to have some trans tendencies.  Gender-affirming medical care such as hormones and surgeries for trans people has a low rate of regret, around 1%, whereas similar interventions for nontrans people such as breast augmentation and reduction or hormone supplementation have a regret rate of 14%.  Puberty-blocking medications have been used for years for nontrans children with hormone defects, with no ill effects or inabilty to reverse them.  Trans children who have been denied gender-affirming care have a 14 times higher suicide rate than other children.  Trans children appear in families at the same rate independent of the degree of trans support in their families, so there is no "social contagion" with trans tendencies.  There are more self-identified trans people today than in the past, but that is because society has become more welcoming.  Trans people show no evidence of being sexual predators, any more than women who dress well are sexual predators: Marginalized groups (think blacks) are often hyper-sexualized in the media.  As for "bathroom bills", I find it amusing that the current policy for U.S. government buildings which says that people must use the bathroom of their birth sex, in the avowed goal of protecting women from perverts, forces transmen to go to female bathrooms no matter how much facial hair they have -- something that will make women pretty uncomfortable.  But forcing us transwomen to go to male bathrooms in full drag will not be bad -- men are terrifically scared to look at other men in a bathroom, much less men wearing dresses, for the danger of being throught gay. A weakness of Serano's book is that she sticks to her own perspective as a lesbian transwoman, and doesn't have much to say about transmen.  She also doesn't sound sympathetic to us sissies; she says tranwomen are "fierce" and not passive.  But of course being passive is not necessarily feminine, and could be just reflect to the long oppression of women (as with other minorities) by society.  We need more books on other kinds of trans people.  But for now, Serano's book is important reading.

Here is my experience with the bimbo:She worked at a car dealership as a receptionist when we met. She dressed conservatively, never showing much skin. She was pretty, but could have really been a 10 with better hair/make-up etc. She was slim, had a round ass, and her best feature - her glorious D cups. She was simple minded. We fucked on the first date and by the third date she asked to stop at a pharmacy. She point blank said, "I'm going to pick up some lube so you can fuck me in the ass tonight". We starting dating and getting to know each other. I learned it was fine to be a bit aggressive with her. When she was in the mood, she fucked like a raunchy porn star. She loved to be dirty or nasty. She loved ass to mouth, spit/sloppy blowjobs, being spit on, getting/giving rimjobs. Even with unbelievable tits, nobody is perfect. Outside the bedroom, dealing with her became a chore. She could be very childish and whiny, constantly complaining. Also very stubborn or moody at times. She could also be demanding. I liked the slut a lot more than I liked the girlfriend. One day she'd wake me up with a blowjob and the next she wouldn't speak to me because I forgot to wear the cologne she bought me. Or She'd pick a restaurant, not like the food, and be in a bad mood all night. It became difficult to deal with her inconsistent behavior. It became she was really only good for one thing. And after a night of her begging for ass to mouth, she said I treated her too much like my "slut instead of [my] girlfriend". Things ended not long after. That's why I am open to find a girl who is more agreeable and build the bimbo onto her.

So many Doms who contact me here always seem to assume I'm full of all these unfulfilled fantasies about kink and a dom sub dynamic that are  unrealized, offering their cocks, hands, and sometimes even their minds to lead me down the path into my subconscious of dark desires.  Maybe those kind of offers entice other women on this site, ones who have had only dreams of scratching their itches, so to speak, but  hey fellas, if you have read my profile and my journals, you would know I have a great lifetime of experience for us to begin with.  That alone should elevate our initial conversations above the fray.  What I'm seeking here, what I'm seeking from you, is your extra special sauce and inner sanctum of domination, control, sensuality, experiences, etc. that all impact you and bring you to this current wonderful state of being you in all your learned kink glory. So that we may dive together into the depth that our conjoined minds and sexuality and dominance and submission can open before us when we conspire to love and serve and liberate to build a fortress of dynamic.  So please don't ask me to tell you a dark longing I've held my tongue about, because the most sexy longing I'm desiring most is to have you  meld your mind and body and spirit into me so I can become truly yours forever. 

people are always asking what my kink or my fantasy is  I want a who enjoy the play as much as I do. one who not afraid to use a girl for the same needs she has as well. one who can Master himself but also Master her, omg he a shadow daddy! I want a Master who would take my big alien dildo and shoved it up my cunt or mak me wear a plug in my ass. then leave me there plug all day while he does his own thing. sometimes he uses me, sometimes he play with me and sometimes he leaves me to my own to get lost in my service to him in my mind.  I want to be his play thing so I can be his captive slave girl who he use as his play thing and doll. dress up in his leather,rope and may other things!  those who want to put me in leather and rope, stuff my cunt with a dildo and make me ride it and orgasm for hours  and these who want to hook my nipples to a milking machine and make me ride a dildo till Im a puddle  get moved to the front of the line  I like these creators and want to recreate this with you - they all on fetlife  _Inquisition_ deargreyh0und _TheDollMaker_ The_Woodsman_ GreedyGod I honestly have little interest in your unless you take the time to go look at these creators pictures and videos. I know what I want and how I want it and I need that 24/7.   

If you do not meet my must-haves, don't contact me. Don't send "if only you didn't want ___ I'd fit" messages. This play for manipulation/sympathy/exceptions doesn't work on me, and shows you don't respect me or other women as people who know themselves better than you think you know them. Don't lie about about reading my profile when you clearly did not. It's extremely obvious you didn't, and lying is a bad look. Also don't lie about your age, ethnicity, etc.  It doesn't increase your chances, and if I find out, I'm done. Yet again, respect my choice to not choose you.  

52 master Alpha Male straight master willing to training a cis girl sub slave in London uk for 50s life style LTR ... I am a master/DD would say that I am not a loser, or dying for pussy (maybe for a real sub and her Back door=butt=asshole), not crazy or dangerous etc, but a person, pleasant, appearance, polite (more or less)and I like to dominate, I am willing to training one cis girl willing to be mine anal slut, must not be committed(with other cocks=which mean if you think you are naughty you are probably ...), who wants to discover and cultivate with me(no others) the pleasure her submission and live as a proper 1950s girl.all with honesty and pleasure for both, keeping in mind that is not a game)she must into a beautiful and intense time ..of course after care and use of the safeword is paramount in a long term relationship (even short but again 'no take away') ,if interested could write me PM ,NO 4 SEX CHAT OR if u want MONEY find a pig NOT ME!.I am only interested in sub/slave want to be own by me only for monogamous LTR ( or is full of wanna be dom and domme if you are looking for sex go to them as probably you rubbish like them so shite go with shite ). U must be in London uk 🇬🇧 , no cyber no fake ! -do please answer at this questions to show real interest or if not you just another fake . -your General Location -Ease of Relocation (to include any obligations you currently have in your current situation that may complicate relocation) -Disclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related -Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons why -Link to face pictures Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons whyDisclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related Contract For Male Dom Master & cis female slave "Slavery" ContractOf my own free will and out of a desire to express my love and devotion to the cis man I love and adore, I offer myself in slavery to my Master only for the period beginning on __________ and ending at noon on_____________. or life. Although I consider myself to be a slave full-time to Master, during the time period expressed above, I will devote myself completely and totally to the pleasure and desires of my Master, without hesitation or consideration of myself or others. General Rules The slave agrees to obey her Master in all respects. her mind, body, heart and time belong to Him. The slave accepts the responsibility of using her safeword when necessary, and trusts implicitly in her Master to respect the use of that safeword. If a condition arises in which the slave needs to use the safeword or gesture, her Master will assess the situation, and determine an appropriate course of action. The slave shall keep her body available for the use of her Master at all times. In addition, the slave agrees that her Master possesses the right to use her body and no one will be allowed to touch or use the master property (= slave)The slave shall demonstrate her acceptance of her role of service and availability at all times while at home and at other times and places specified by her Master. The slave acknowledges that her Master may use her body or mind in any manner He wishes within the parameters of safety. He may hurt her without reason to please Himself. The slave enjoys the right to cry, scream or beg, but accepts the fact that these heartfelt expressions will not affect her treatment. Further, she accepts that if her Master tires of her noise, he may gag her or take other actions to silence her.(only the safeword will stop the master action) The slave will answer any questions put to her honestly and directly, and will volunteer any information her Master should know about her physical or emotional condition. While her Master expects His slave to speak honestly and forth rightly about anything that bothers her, she is not to interpret that as permission to whine or complain. she will phrase her concerns politely and respectfully, and then gracefully accept her Master's judgment in these matters without further complaint.(=unless the safe word is pronounced) The slave will always speak of her Master in terms of love and respect. She will address Him at all times as either "Master" or "Sir," ( see Public Rules of Conduct) The Master may give the slave "free periods" in His presence during which the slave may express herself openly and freely. There will be no punishments applied during "free periods." It is understood, however, that the slave will continue to address her Master with respect and love at all times and that deviations from this rule are subject to punishment at a later time.

 recently met a vanilla guy that had been a drug addict for more than half of his life. He has been clean for 5 years. This is information that was shared with a perfect stranger within the first 5 minutes of conversation. (I appreciate the upfront honesty, but damn.) From what I learned about him, he was easily swayed by previous lovers and enjoyed being a "doormat." Without knowing My kinky hobbies, he disclosed his desires to be owned by a Dominant Woman.qIuestioned his ability to be involved in a kinky lifestyle relationship without it being totally draining on the Domme. Although I wasnt even going there with this guy, the last thing I want is a overly needy person in my life.Has anyone else run screaming from someone that just oozes insecurity and extreme neediness?How long would someone with an addictive personality actually be able to make it in a kinky relationship with YOU?

Normal 0 Yes i put it on my other one too   lol Thought I would put this here.  We all know how long updating your profile takes  LOL  I was passing the time one evening responding to emails (sorry I'm behind, getting better though  lol)  I accidentally pushed the "home" button, which no longer refreshes the page, but shows you profiles of all that are currently online. I started reading other's profiles (Dominant and submissive) and I was surprised to see there are still some lifestyle people on this thing  lol   Below are some phrases here and there and adjusted them to fit me, as well as some of my own words, to explain yet another way what I am looking for. (So thank you fellow CS'ers for the help  lol):    Even though I have a rather in depth profile, I still get asked what I'm looking for.  So hopefully this will work for everyone (yeah yeah yeah I know the wankers aren't going to read this either LOL):    Looking for a slave to train with love and discipline. I'm looking for a partner(s) that is no where near a doormat, like so many on here,  I am way too busy to deal with the game players that seem to keep finding me here. I am looking for someone who can hold their own in the vanilla world during business functions, etc., but also has the ability to enjoy and obey the rules and regs of the D/s lifestyle.    I want my companion slave to be my lover (someone that can and will hold me at night), a friend (someone I can talk to on any level about anything),one I can trust and love back. Go on trips, day or otherwise and have actual fun. (D/s doesn't have to be done just at home ya know?   lol)  And, "no" for all you one handed typers that get mad and say, "You are just looking for a husband" just because I won't "assist" them in their efforts   lol  Trust me, a piece of paper is the LAST thing I'm looking for.  I know they say to never say never but.......NEVER!!!!     LOL   I believe submission is a gift to give not one to take    I mix D/s with everyday vanilla life.  That means I also want a balance in family, friends and the lifestyle.  And I mean our actual families (i.e. mothers, fathers ,brothers, sisters, nephew, nieces, cousins, aunts, uncles;  are all important to me and should be for you as well)  (and "no" this does not mean that we will be shouting in the streets to our family and friends about our personal life, it just means we need to mingle with others just as much as we would if we were just vanilla.  Nothing makes people start nosing around like someone or a couple that only keeps to themselves.  LOL     I usually read history and profile before I respond to someone.  And guys for you that say you don't have kids but want them some day, just move on to the next profile, because that obviously won't be happening here   LOL    Nothing makes me happier than to know that I have a loving, trusting, supportive family/foundation under me (yes, this time I am referring to my "in house" family)  My man/men are happy when I am pleased with them and nothing makes them sadder than knowing that they have displeased me. Me and my guy or guys and that we are all happy and taken care of and that we are living the life that is perfect for what we were all looking for.  Not someone who just says he wants it.  Those kind either try to manipulate you into what they want eventually, or they are here but miserable, making everyone else the same.  Or the worst ones that go with a family just to be with "anyone" and the whole time they are online trying to better deal you  lol    No I wont meet or even DM you after we have a 5 minute conversation in mail if you want to meet me (usually just "hi" back and forth), Take your time. Talk to me.. I think there is a very special person behind this computer screen. If you are a real lifestyle submissive then you should want to take your time and learn as much as you can about the life that you claim you want to walk into, forever. If this isn't your style and you need to move faster, that's awesome, it's just not my way, so we can agree to disagree and you can move on to the next profile. No I don't plan on talking here forever before DM's but I will move on to whatever the next step is, when "I" am ready.  Nothing else will fill the void but what I seek. So don't ask, try to manipulate me, or think you are so special that I will change what I want.  You get to choose who and what you want, I deserve the same respect.                      

100% Master 100% Sadist  100% Daddy 100% Degrader  94% Rigger  93% Dominant  92% Experimentalist  84% Primal (Hunter)  79% Brat tamer  71% Owner  56% Switch  38% Non-monogamist  36% Voyeur  33% Submissive  5% Exhibitionist  0% Ageplayer  0% Brat  0% Degradee  0% Boy/Girl  0% Masochist  0% Pet  0% Primal (Prey)  0% Rope bunny  0% Slave  0% Vanilla   

Why we aren't drowning in playmates. Playmate/ submissive playtoy - someone we like enough to interact with, who either comes to provide service, or kink, or some combination of both. I was asked how often I get this. Someone else asked "where are the success stories?" Why I have so many stories about the failures. If we have a fun playmate, that's private, unless they are comfortable having their kinky fun splayed all over the net. I post about the failures, usually in my group, to help future readers figure out what NOT to do. What my limits are and why, and ideally how to avoid fucking up with Dommes in their own searches. Now, the first question - how often? Seldom. And here's why - We have spent a lot of time working on ourselves on many levels for many years, to become better, mentally/emotionally/spiritually healthier human beings in general, which unfortunately has the problematic side effect of causing one to have a lower tolerance for people who haven't done that work. And as was said in Star Trek Next Generation - "the higher, the fewer." The more you level yourself up, the higher the standards you try to live by, the better the human being you try to be, the fewer people you will be able to be around. The fewer people will be tolerable. The fewer people will be able to understand you when you talk about anything more than the weather. The more you work on yourself, the more alone you will be. Then again, the more you work on yourself, the more you will like your own company, and the more you will prefer being alone to being with the wrong people. People who aren't automatically honest, who don't work toward direct, open communication as the default, people who don't make every effort to say only what they mean, and stick to what they do say, people who don't self-analyze and self-correct and so on. People who can't or won't set healthy boundaries. And so on. All of these things create practical problems, (lying, STDs, flaking, anger issues, failure to respect limits or requirements, etc) as well as emotional stress. All of these things impact consent, safety, and trust. All of these things are solely under the control of the individual, and while we can set the boundary that we won't engage in interactions with them unless they commit to them, the average person isn't actually interested in or concerned with being a better person beyond lip service, or even to getting their kink on enough to make the work worth it for them, even if it would make their entire lives better in the long run. It's almost impossible to have real conversation with people like that, too. We just don't seem to speak the same language anymore, and we get people telling us how we are "taking (ourselves) too seriously" or accusing us of being stuck up and putting on airs. The reality is that we just don't want to deal with the problems that dysfunctional people bring with them anymore. And if we never find another really awesome people to play with because of that, we still come out ahead, because we won't have trash people fucking up our lives. Not to put too fine a point on it.

Mhhh dang' had one of the most hillarious and fun session with my new slave🤣🤣Extreme cum denial and edging..Till he started begging for mercy, he is an obedient one though...Well his pathetic cock is locked using the Cellmate 2 ... I have complete control over him, he has no means of escape, and unless i unlock it he can never get outLol am really enjoying this, he's litterally my prisoner

A young woman asked me a question about posturing I will share my view on that subject as there is so much of it on lifestyle sites and I feel most of it is pure bull shit. There was a time, when, how lifestyle folks presented themselves in public and in private, told who they were. It was far more subtle. Subs and slaves did not announce who they were and dominants did not have to call themselves owners or dominants or masters because both sides looked for those tell tale signs and vice versa. You could walk into a room filled with vanilla folks and pick out who was in command and who was subservient and who the clueless were. A submissive would make less eye contact in public seem more shy, talk less or only when spoken to. More dominant types were bolder, asked the questions, initiated the conversations and so on. You knew by their "presence" who they were, not by their words or self given titles. Lifestyle folks looked for such things and recognized each other, were drawn to each other. The advent of the internet and sites like this and others, produced a bunch of wannabe owners and dominants who posture and preen and say "I am" when they are not. You will see a 20 something male, working at McDonald's and living in a walk up rental, calling himself Master and demanding that women bow to him. He has an old beater car, no savings, no future, he has not even began to master his own life. Now he claims he can be master of a sub or slave. These are the people who demand a sub "posture" for him and demand the sub call him sir or master. It's his ego speaking, not his dominance or mastery of anything. We married in the early 70's as a natural dominant and natural submissive but those words were never spoken for at least 20 years. Married in 71 but it took me until 86 to even begin to master my life. In 86 I walked away from a high paying factory job and created my first major business, an auction house. That began a lifetime of building businesses, getting them up to profitability and then selling them. Even then, I never once called myself a Master. We opened the marriage to others from time to time and it was always her seeking a dominant type and myself seeking a submissive type. We could do so because we were secure in who we were, who we each belonged to. I played with a submissive on and off for few years who called me "Mister B" but she always made it a joke, a way of poking fun at me. She would say it with emphasis on the Mister and then she would laugh at me. She was secure in who she was and knew that I was as well. Among the very best of submissives that I ever played with in those years, was a woman who was in upper management of a major corporation. At work they called her the dragon lady and people were actually afraid of her because she could make or break a career. She called me "Donkey" from the movie Shrek and she claimed she was my dragon. She served me with her entire being. It is not about posture or titles, it is about who we are and how we are, that makes us owners or dominants, subs or slaves. Don't buy into the hype, the hype is bull shit. Look at who they are, what they have accomplished. Look at how they help those around themselves. In the words of Mohamed Ali, an ultimate Master, "look at how they treat those who can not benefit them in any way". If they treat the waiter poorly, run. A true master protects, builds up those around themselves, looks to help the less fortunate, looks to promote others to be all they can be and does not say worship me. A master is. They are not someone who calls themselves as such. A sub or slave, looks for such people and wants to help them by combining their power with the power of the owner or dominant or master. I seek to serve nature as her sub/slave. She is far greater than myself, a worthy mistress with no ego. By doing so, I gain as well. I seek those who feel that is something worthy of doing and want to add their power to my own. I say openly that by myself, I am not enough, that I need your power added to my own. Even then, I fully understand that we will not be enough but we can make some small difference. If you feel a need to serve such a man, I would humbly welcome your support. Then, in the future and only if you feel that I have proven to you, that I am worthy to be called your owner or dominant or master, I will be thankful and we will continue the work together.  

Something I really don't enjoy is asking for help. However,  within the context of D/s, its necessary to be able to identify and articulate ones desires and needs. But what of intuition? And attentiveness?   I think I need an intuitive and attentive submissive... or do I need one whos just intrigued and interested? I imagine, if I found someone with a 6th sense of my needs, or atleast the interest to understand and meet my demands, I wont have to do the one thing I hate - ask for help. Or would I?  So many questions...

He settled into the chair as I stood in front of him. He instructed me to turn around a couple times. I tried to suck my gut in and squeeze my butt to lift it and made it look tighter. He noticed and told me that it is what he expected of me when I walk around naked. That my butt should look good at all times. I made a mental note of my position. I had a show roughly worked out in case he didn't provide his own instructions and began to show him my body. With each step he gave me instructions on how I could look hotter. At times he came up and ran his hands over me as I held still. With both hands I grabbed a rope that was dangling from the ceiling and feigned having my hands tied above my head. I bent myself over the bed. He gave me instructions as to how wide to open my ass and when he was happy had me hold still like that as he came over. He jerked his cock for a while and then ran his hands over my body, his fingers playing with my hole. At one point he approached me and kissed me. I held still and let him do it as he pleased, following his lead. I didn't think I'd like but I was surprised at how good it felt.  

Service Is Not Small: The Quiet Power of Devotion In D/s dynamics, service is sometimes misunderstood because it does not always look dramatic from the outside. It may not involve a scene.It may not involve kneeling.It may not involve leather, cuffs, candles, or carefully staged ritual. Sometimes service looks like coffee made before it is asked for.Sometimes it looks like remembering a preference.Sometimes it looks like anticipating a need, completing a task, holding silence, or offering steadiness when life has become too loud. That does not make it small. Service is not lesser because it is quiet. In many dynamics, service is one of the deepest expressions of devotion because it asks for attention. Real attention. Not performative attention. Not the kind that only appears when there is an audience or a reward. Service requires noticing. It requires listening. It requires learning the rhythm of another person and choosing, again and again, to honor that rhythm with action. That choice matters. There is a difference between serving from obligation and serving from devotion. Obligation says, “I have to.”Devotion says, “I choose to.” That distinction is important, especially in power exchange. Healthy service is not about erasing the submissive. It is not about becoming invisible, voiceless, or endlessly available. It is not about proving worth through exhaustion. Service should not require someone to disappear. At its best, service becomes a language. It says, “I see you.”It says, “I remember.”It says, “Your comfort matters to me.”It says, “This dynamic lives beyond the obvious moments.” For some submissives, service is where their submission feels most natural. They may not crave elaborate protocol or intense scenes as much as they crave usefulness, order, care, and the quiet satisfaction of knowing they have contributed to their Dominant’s peace. For some Dominants, receiving service is not about laziness or entitlement. It is about trust. It is about allowing someone close enough to learn the details. It is about accepting care without dismissing it simply because it did not arrive loudly. But service must be respected. A submissive who serves is offering time, energy, thought, and intention. Those things should never be treated as meaningless just because they are freely given. The quiet tasks still count. The remembered details still count. The emotional labor still counts. The unseen work still counts. Devotion does not become less valuable because it is steady. In fact, steadiness may be one of the clearest signs of devotion there is. The dramatic moments can be beautiful. The rituals can be powerful. The scenes can be intense, intimate, and unforgettable. But the daily acts often reveal the truth of a dynamic more clearly than the grand ones. Who notices?Who follows through?Who appreciates?Who protaspects the trust being offered?Who understands that service is not servitude without care, but devotion with consent? Service is not small. It is not background noise.It is not “just” helping.It is not weakness.It is not proof that someone matters less. Service is a chosen offering. And when it is received with respect, gratitude, and responsibility, it becomes one of the strongest foundations a dynamic can have.

I've been back and forth, since before Thanksgiving , with the contract I have on a cabin In WV. Unfortunately the agent was a flake. Over the years , I've bought and sold homes. This agent was a hot mess. Finally had to get the broker involved, and replace the her.   The present one is on the ball. D and I drove to the cabin and he checked it top to bottom. There were concerns from the home inspection, and he calmed my mind. He said the place had great bones, the windows were all in good shape, the hot water heater was two years old , gas furnace will out live me, metal roof is fairly new... There is a cottage on the property, off the back set back from the cabin.  Its about eight hundred sq. feet , plus a screened in front porch! Perfect for my father, and he can't fall off. It has a kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom and full bath. It too has a new metal roof.   Added an addendum  for a few things, we'll see if they accept or counter. Saying a little prayer and crossing my fingers.   M.

Ya gotta love the smuckers who write an email to insult you.  lol  What a waste of brain cells. The wonderful thing about the thinking mind -IT IS NOT STATIONARY.  The thinking mind is an organic thing which is constantly on the cutting age of THINKING!  Hopefully thoughts change.  Hopefully one is influenced by the world around them and they are unafraid to be CHALLENGED, MISINFORMED, MISUNDERSTOOD AND OR WRONG.  Every single successful person I've come across says the one thing which differentiates them from others is they TOOK A CHANCE.  They WENT OUT ON A LIMB - in thought, word and deed, literally!  They got BACK UP whenever knocked down. I'm unafraid to be ABSOLUTELY POSITIVLEY WRONG ABOUT mR. President.  Personally, even if I wanted to approve of some of his intentions, his tactics are BARBARIC and shredding our Constitution into nice little CORPORATE BUNDLES.  Nobel Peace Prize My arse!  Really? RUSSIA?  Did I miss the memo when we were hanging out and making nicey nice with authoritative dictators?  Forget about any of this retroAmericanmaking, what about My rights as a woman? THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY ANY PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WILL HAVE MY VOTE AND THAT IS WHEN MY BODY IS MY OWN AND THE BABY GROWING INSIDE OF IT IS MY WILL.  SO LONG AS GOVERNMENT WANTS IN MY CUNT, I'M OUT!  GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY DICK!  PERHAPS THIS IS THE ONLY LANGUAGE THE BARBARIAN LOCKERROOM BOYS UNDERSTAND.  THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF WORLD I AM OKAY WITH SO NO, I DON'T BLOODY LIKE THIS FUCKING PRESIDENT, SO FUCK OFF AND TAKE YOUR STUPID ASS OUT OF MY EMAIL UNTIL YOU COME UP WITH SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS FOR ME.  UNTIL THEN, GOOD LUCK AND GOOD RIDDANCE.

The House Doctrine of Master George Part 1 of 2 A Journal Entry for the Instruction of Slaves and the Record of My Household Philosophy Preamble To be a slave in my household is to make a deliberate and life-altering choice. This is not casual D/s, nor is it a temporary thrill that fades when the mood passes. It is a structured, enduring commitment where the Master commands completely and the slave obeys without hesitation. This arrangement is built on mutual understanding: the slave gives themselves fully, and in return receives structure, protection, and belonging that few will ever know. The relationship I offer is rooted in the tradition of Total Power Exchange (TPE), but refined through years of leadership, discipline, and the lessons learned from both military command and the guidance of households past. Here, slavery is not a costume worn for a scene — it is a state of being, a way of life. The Five Axioms of a Slave Every slave who serves under me must learn and live by these five axioms. They are the foundation of service in my house, and they are not negotiable. Excellence in Service – A slave serves with excellence in all things while striving always for perfection. Mediocrity has no place here. Truth in All Things – A slave is fully revealing about all matters at all times to the Master. There is no secrecy, no hidden truth. Service Without Reservation – A slave serves without humiliation, hesitation, reservation, embarrassment, modesty, or shame. Their body, mind, and time are all for the Master’s use. Surrender of the Self – Before a slave can surrender to the Master, they must first surrender to themselves, accepting their nature without resistance. Property of the Master – A slave is property; therefore, their Master’s pleasure and use come first and foremost in all things. The Benefits of Being My Slave To kneel for me is not to lose yourself — it is to find the truest version of who you are meant to be. Under my collar, a slave gains far more than they surrender. Structure and Stability In my house, you will never wonder where you stand. Rules are clear, discipline is consistent, and leadership is unwavering. There is no confusion about your role or purpose — you will always know exactly what is expected of you. A Defined Identity Once I claim you, your identity as “slave” becomes absolute. It is not a game, not a temporary title. It becomes who you are, and in that identity, you will find clarity and certainty. Protection and Security My authority is both shield and sword. Under my command, you are guarded from outside harm, defended against disrespect, and guided through life’s storms. My rules are not just for control — they are for your safety and well-being. Growth Through Discipline I am not a Master who allows stagnation. I will push you to improve, to master new skills, to refine your service until it reaches the standard I demand. Weakness will be stripped away. Strength will be cultivated. A Bond Deeper Than Equals I will know you in every detail — your habits, your triggers, your limits, and your strengths. Our connection will be forged through shared trials, daily service, and unbroken loyalty. This bond will not be casual; it will be absolute. Belonging to Something Greater This is not a solitary arrangement. My household is a structure with hierarchy, purpose, and unity. As my slave, you join something larger than yourself. You contribute to the maintenance, honor, and legacy of this house. ******* see part 2 of 2 for the rest

How to Write That Opening Message At some point, everyone in the lifestyle has to face the same awkward little doorway: The first message. Whether you are a submissive reaching out to a Domme, a Domme reaching out to a potential submissive, or two kinky people trying to figure out whether there is enough compatibility to keep talking, that first message matters. It does not need to be perfect. It does not need to be poetic. It does not need to sound like the opening scene of a dark romance novel. But it does need to sound like it came from a real person who understands that there is another real person on the other side of the screen. That is where so many people go wrong. They treat the first message like a scene. They rush into titles, demands, fantasies, assumptions, worship, humiliation, or interrogation before basic communication has even been established. The first message is not the scene. It is not the contract. It is not consent. It is not ownership. It is not an audition for how intense you can be. It is simply an opening. And if you cannot handle the opening with respect, patience, and self-awareness, why should anyone trust you with anything deeper? The First Message Has One Job The job of an opening message is not to secure a dynamic. It is not to prove submission. It is not to establish dominance. It is not to negotiate an entire relationship in one paragraph. The job of the first message is to make a respectful conversation possible. That is it. A good opening message should quietly answer three basic questions: Who are you? Why are you reaching out to this person specifically? What kind of conversation are you hoping to begin? That does not mean you need to send your life story. In fact, please do not. A five-paragraph emotional confession from a stranger can feel overwhelming, even when the person means well. It also does not mean you should send a dry job application. The goal is simple: be clear, be respectful, and give the other person enough substance to decide whether they want to respond. If You Are a Submissive Messaging a Domme A submissive reaching out to a Domme should remember one very important thing: Submission does not entitle you to access. Calling someone Mistress, Goddess, Mommy, Ma’am, or any other title before they have invited that dynamic may feel respectful to you, but it may not feel respectful to them. For many Dommes, titles are earned, negotiated, or offered within a specific context. Using them too soon can come across as presumptuous. The same goes for leading with “I’ll do anything.” That phrase may sound devoted in your head, but to an experienced Domme, it often raises red flags. Anything? Really? No limits? No self-awareness? No boundaries? No understanding of safety, negotiation, or compatibility? A submissive who claims they will do anything is usually not showing depth. They are showing either desperation, fantasy thinking, or a lack of experience. A better message shows that you have read her profile, respect her boundaries, and are interested in an actual conversation. For example: “Hello. I read your profile and appreciated how clearly you describe service, structure, and communication. I’m interested in exploring whether my style of submission may be compatible with what you are open to discussing. I value consent, patience, and clear expectations. If you are open to a conversation, I would be glad to talk.” That message does several things well. It is polite. It is specific. It does not demand her attention. It does not dump fantasies in her lap. It does not assume a dynamic already exists. It gives her something real to respond to. That is how you open a door instead of kicking one in. What Submissives Should Not Lead With Do not open with explicit sexual demands. Do not send body parts. Do not send a list of fantasies and expect her to perform emotional labor around them. Do not ask, “What would you do to me?” before she has even decided whether she wants to know you. Do not demand tasks. Do not beg to be used. Do not trauma dump. Do not copy and paste the same message to every Domme in your area. And for the love of all things leather, do not open with “Are you real?” Most Dommes have seen that line more times than they can count. It does not make you look cautious. It makes you look like you are carrying frustration from previous interactions into a brand-new conversation with someone who has not done anything to deserve it. If you are worried about scammers, that is valid. Protect yourself. Move slowly. Do not send money blindly. Look for consistency. Ask reasonable questions when the conversation reaches that point. But opening with suspicion is not the same thing as practicing discernment. If You Are a Domme Messaging a Potential Submissive Dommes are not exempt from this conversation. Dominance is not an excuse for lazy communication. If your first message is nothing but “Kneel,” “Prove yourself,” or “Tribute first,” do not be surprised if thoughtful submissives move on. Yes, there are spaces where high-protocol language or financial expectations may be part of the culture. Yes, some people enjoy immediate intensity. But even then, context matters. A first message still needs to show that there is a person behind the authority. A Domme reaching out to a submissive should not mistake abruptness for power. Power does not need to shout. Authority does not need to be sloppy. A good opening message from a Domme might look like this: “Hello. I noticed your profile mentioned service, protocol, and long-term structure. I appreciated the thought you put into what you are seeking. I am interested in speaking with submissives who value communication, consistency, and negotiated expectations. If you are open to a respectful conversation, I would be interested in learning mor

                                     Slut Handler Most online kink exchanges are really anonymous. How else could a submissive woman cow a pack of amply testosteroned dominant males of dubious intelligence? My proven procedure for the education of said submissive is fulfilling and, at least for the female, informative.  I avoid any pregame chit chat and immediately put the worried slut on her knees with her wrists behind her back.  A collar serves a couple of functions and I like to lecture that it provides a symbol of complete submission. Importantly it also informs her who’s fuck toy she’s become. The collar needs to be firmly buckled and a short leash is appropriate for direction and control. Now things should become crystal clear but if there is any question, cuffing the soon to be sex slave’s wrists should render that question moot. I favor a short 4” chain.  Controlling an aroused woman requires more then guile. A finishing touch includes the firm placement of a ball gag. Make sure her hair is out of the way and the ball goes behind the teeth.    There you have it. She’s on her knees, collared, leashed, cuffed, and gagged.  And if she’s not hot and wet I’d be surprised  But wait, there’s more   All this preparation serves the ultimate goal.    <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal;

Dazzling, as if illuminated by a celestial spotlight, she stood next to the passenger door of a Black Mercedes-Benz Roadster.   Parked next to the light pole, the image of her, the car, and the reflective light was surreal.   “Door” she snapped. “ Get my door boy!” Head down he realized she wanted him to open the passenger door. Once open, she backed up to the car, in one graceful fluid motion she bent forward simultaneously sliding her round firm bottom into the leather bucket seat. Clutching her handbag she again snapped “ Close the door boy!”   It took a moment for his brain to adjust to his reality. Closing her door, he went to the drivers side and got in.   Fear of the unknown clouded his brain and overwhelmed his senses.   Her perfume. Her smell. The Leather smell. The car smell. He came aware with the click of her seatbelt. He did likewise. She reached from her seat and started the engine and turned the stereo on. Soft quiet smooth Jazz surrounded them.

I Just realized on Dec 26th 19 years ago today. I went to be my first munch and became a member of my local BDSM community. I remember being so nervous. I had never dated or anything before that day. I was happy when I read an erotic novel and found the term BDSM and went down the rabbit hole. All the years I would have dreams and desires not understanding and thinking I was alone. I was 30 years old and started researching on AOL, Yahoo chat, the great websites at the time. To find the munch group and got my scene name from my email address. So nervous to meet at the munch group, Only about 5 of us were there that night being right after Christmas. I was so happy and excited and felt like I finally found home and people that would accept me and welcome me.    The lifestyle was fun and learned a lot but also wasn't the greatest as I would jump into things and the 7.5 years I was active did expereince abuse that still scares me today. I have triggers but also realize this is who I am and can't just be vanilla. I have missed being active in the lifestyle and miss my BDSM family. One day hope to find the right partners and get back to being active again.    I call this my BDSM birthday.  And glad I found it. Just more cautious now.

There's something wrong with my calico, Luna, and I'm very worried. She's not acting like herself. She had a jaw issue the other day and ever since she's been drooling, hiding in the bathtub (she's not a jumper and never did this before), felt warm, acts restless, among other symptoms. She's 7. While not the norm, I've had cats last until 20. This is my familiar. Vet said her teeth look good but to keep an eye on her as she isn't eating the dry food, only wet. We did get her rabies shot done and I'm really hoping she's not having a reaction to it. Will call the vet in the morning and take her in asap. She didn't even fight being picked up, which she hates because she always thinks it's bathtime when she's picked up and usually will fight it and mewl so pitifully but she didn't do that this time. I tried to reach out to Bakayashu for help but he of course is still ignoring me. Whatever. I just hope I don't lose my cat, him, and have to send my kiddo back to her father in two days. I'm already battling horrible depression and barely keeping myself focused through it.  I feel so damn abandoned. Alone. And Baka's silence now just feels cruel.  I just want everything to go back to being good again. 

Wilhelm Reich believed that one could not fully appreciate pleasure until you first experienced pain. I believe this is the principal a Master uses to break the will of a potential slave and drive them to the depths of despair. This way once the slave's integrity is erased it now becomes a slave that can be trained and craves it's Master's attention. Even if Master takes pleasure in whipping and spanking His slave for entertainment and especially to keep the slave knowing it is Master's Property and can be used in any manner Master decides, any time Master decides. Conversely, the Marquis De Sade, it has been told, would tell His captive victims, He was torturing to death that it was alright for them to scream because nobody would hear them screaming. This is Sadism and I have no interest in this type of relationship.

  Some upsetting news This I hope will explain my current emotional feelings. Because I've recently received some truly unexpected and unsettling news, and I'm finding it incredibly difficult to process. I'm honestly struggling to even articulate the situation clearly, as the information is still so raw and shocking.I won't go into the details right now, mostly because I’m still trying to make sense of everything myself. But suffice it to say, it's emotionally traumatizing, and it's completely thrown me off balance.Right now, I'm feeling overwhelmed, numb, anxious, lost, and angry.It's like the ground has shifted beneath my feet, and I'm having a hard time figuring out which way to go.The biggest challenge I'm facing is deciding how to proceed.This news has so many implications, and I'm feeling completely lost in trying to navigate the situation. I'm worried about making the wrong decisions, and I'm unsure of who to turn to for guidance.  

The Ocean Does Not Apologize for Its Depth   There are women who dominate and there are women who *are* dominance, the way the ocean is not something that contains water but is the water, is the depth, is the pressure and the pull and the ancient, indifferent power of something that existed long before you arrived on its shore and will exist long after you have gone. I am the second kind. This is not a role I step into. It is what I am made of, down to the cellular level, the way the ocean is made of salt and motion and the kind of patience that only belongs to things that have never once needed to hurry. You come to the shore of me with everything you are. I want you to understand what that means before you take another step. The ocean does not meet you halfway. It does not soften its edges to make the entry more comfortable. It simply is what it is, in its entirety, at full depth and full force, and what happens to you when you enter it is entirely dependent on your willingness to stop fighting the current and let the water do what water does. The people who struggle against the ocean are the ones it takes. The ones who surrender to it, who release the desperate grip of their own buoyancy and let the water take the weight, those are the ones who discover that it will hold them. That the very thing that felt like it would consume them is also, in its way, the most complete support they have ever known. This is the theology of your surrender. Not the performance of it. The real thing. I want you empty. Genuinely, completely empty, cleared of every opinion about yourself that you arrived with, every defense you have constructed across a lifetime of needing to protect something, every carefully managed presentation of who you are and what you can handle and how much you are willing to give. I want the vessel clean. Because I intend to fill it, every part of it, with something it has never held before, and there is no room for what I am bringing if you are still crowded with what you came with. Walt Whitman wrote that he contained multitudes. You, in this context, will contain precisely one thing: me. My will, my presence, my pleasure, my standard, my voice in the place where your own voice used to be the loudest thing in the room. This is not diminishment. This is the most complete thing I know how to offer another person. To be so thoroughly known and so thoroughly claimed that the boundary between your purpose and my desire becomes academic, becomes irrelevant, becomes a line so worn from crossing that it simply ceases to exist. The ocean fills every space available to it. Every crack in the rock, every hollow in the sand, every place that offers itself and every place that does not, eventually. It does not ask permission of the shoreline. It simply arrives, and it arrives completely, and it keeps arriving, tide after tide, with the patient certainty of something that has never once doubted its own nature or its own direction. That is what my dominance feels like from the inside. The certainty of water finding its level. Matthew Arnold stood on Dover Beach and heard the ocean's roar as the sound of a world that offers neither joy nor love nor light nor certitude nor peace, only the eternal note of sadness underneath everything human. But I hear it differently. I hear it as the sound of something that does not negotiate. Something that has been devouring shorelines since before language existed to describe the loss, that takes the rock and the sand and the carefully constructed walls of human certainty and makes them, over time, into nothing but new shapes of itself. The ocean does not mourn what it consumes. It simply continues. This is the quality of my dominance that I most want you to sit with: not the drama of it but the continuity. The patient, absolute, unstoppable continuation of a nature that was never going to be anything other than what it is. Give me everything. Not the generous portion. Not the carefully considered offering of the parts of yourself you have decided you can afford to lose. Everything. The parts you are proud of and the parts you are ashamed of and the parts you have never shown anyone because you were not certain they could be trusted with them. Bring all of it to the water. Let it go. Watch what I do with it. Because here is what the ocean knows that the shore does not: the surrender is the point. The emptying is not the loss. It is the preparation. The space you clear when you release everything you have been holding is exactly the space I intend to inhabit, and what I bring to fill it is larger and stranger and more sustaining than anything you were protecting by keeping yourself so carefully full of yourself. You were not built to be your own container. You were built to be mine. Kneel at the water's edge. Feel the pull of it. That pull is not danger. That pull is recognition.   I release what I was before this shore. I bring myself empty and offer that emptiness as gift. I am the hollow that her presence fills. I do not end where she begins. I am most myself when I am most completely hers. The ocean does not ask permission. Neither does she. I am grateful for both.   Go under.   She will bring you back. She always does.

Master's WritingsFoundations: Deep Honesty and the Butterfly EffectAs I see it, there are three core elements, communication, trust and honesty, that together form the foundation for feeling safe as we explore the lifestyle. Each element is interdependent with the others, and intertwined in such a way that to fail any one breaks them all, leaving us unsure and at risk, while when they all work right, we feel able to explore the greatest depths imaginable.With regard to honesty, we, in the lifestyle, are far better equipped to get it right than anywhere within the vanilla world. Power dynamics, the emotional nakedness of play and the acceptance of near infinite diversity among our interests and population make total honesty far more achievable within the lifestyle than others then you might think.Yet honesty can suffers from the crushing weight of a single butterflies wing. As children, we learn to lie because we get away and it always starts with the smallest of lies or the things we hide from those we love. As we grow, we believe that lying is acceptable with those we love and in society in general. This acceptance allows us to learn to lie even to ourselves, and as we mature, we discover that we have grown comfortable being false to others and even to ourself. We no longer know what is authentic and the distance between those close to us grows and decays. And we wonder why. In fact, as a society, we have entered an age where falsehood and lying is now the norm and an accepted practice.In a dynamic where “Total Honesty” is practiced, lies are never allowed, not in part nor in full, not even lies of omission or hidden truths of any kind. Sharing is always total, free and open. The freedom of an open mind and heart is the only acceptable mindset. While nearly all in the lifestyle preach this in one form or another, we must be aware of the impact of that single small butterfly wing. For just like the child growing up, a single allowance of a hidden feeling, an uncomfortable truth left unspoken, or a fear not communicated, has the potential to become habit forming and thereafter impact and erode the beauty and depth of a dynamic. A hidden feeling can undermine the understanding one partner has for the other. An uncomfortable truth can lead to the birth of resentment and anger when not spoken where it is allowed to fester. A fear left unchecked causes stress, clouds the mind, undercut trust, causes stagnation and allows anxieties to run unchecked or worse.Within a dynamic, the expectation and practice must be to understand the impact, the cause and effect, of that single delicate wing of the smallest of lies and/or omissions, remaining fully open to each other, totally authentic of self, and emotionally naked before your partner. For it is only within a dynamic filled with such honesty that we make possible the deep, beautiful and magical experiences we all seek. 

Why do you do this? So here is my question and my issue...  Why are you here?  I know that the fakes and scammers are here to try and make a buck, and the Doms and Dommes are hre for their respective reasons, but this goes out to all those subs and slaves that need to pull their heads out of their asses. I have been around CS since it was CM, Not even sure if my old account is still active or not but regardless I want to know, why it is you dont have at least the basic respect for the ones giving their time to write you a simple reply? I can understand scrolling the mouse over an email and ignoring it if it has one sentance, but if some one takes the time to write out a whole paragraph introduction and you still ignore it, leaving it unread for years and yes I said years, there are some that I personally did a cleanup on this last month on my email dating back to pre covid still unread Seriously, there needs to be the old user notes back on profile so that you can make note of those you talk to, have mail unread with, etc And to those reading this that actually have notes in their mail like this be it from me or others, at least give the common respect that We deserve and write back that your not interested at the LEAST so that we can, at least those that are level headed, can simply move on I know that I only talk to one at a time here, and if a mail goes unaswered for a few days of seeing that user online every day, I will move onto the next But not everyone is like that here, some will bitch, rant, and wine that why aren't you answering your emails etc Now not all of those are trolls or fakes, but a good portion are mentally children if they do that A good not to the Doms and Dommes ,,,  Dommes not so much really,,,  SOMETIMES you get better results with honey than spite

I love this quote by Anais Nin.   I've adapted it for me: I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my submissiveness. I want a Woman lying over me, always over me. Her will, her pleasure, her desire, her life, her work, her sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a man, oh, God, as a man, I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a Woman at her time, her bidding.

Ok so I don't know but I have this vision in my mind of me serving  a strong woman she has silver hair and loves and expects me to be at my best and in my  dreams I do  in them I begin my day at the foot of her bed awakening before her to be able to prepare for her i wash and shower make her coffee begin her breakfast make sure everything is clean and straighten up before she wakes up I draw a bath make her toast and kneel at the side of the bed and slowly kiss her feet and up her body this normally wakes up her happy and refreshed but today seems different she simply lays on her back and says I have to pee I'm not used to this but I'm prepared I grab a towel climb on the bed between  her legs put the towel under me just in case and attach  my mouth to her she releases herself very slowly allowing me to breathe and swallow it's quite sour being her first of the day but I know from experience that this is what she wants and my best course of action is to drink her clean her and allow her to go back to sleep as I'm thinking this I notice the stream has stopped and she's pushing my head , she quietly  says clean me  and I run an fetch a warm washcloth I wipe her and she rolls over and says I'm still tired and would like to sleep turn off the shower and coffee and go do the laundry be back here at 8am and wake me up by massaging and kissing my back I expect the laundry to be done and I would like oatmeal instead of toast now I have my task and an hour to complete them    this is normally when I wake up with a raging hardon and I gotta admit I always feel a  little dirty like is there something wrong with me for wanting this type of relationship?       it's October and the submissve inside of me wants to be allowed out to play i do a pretty good job at surp them have for a few years now  But can I tell you how bad I yearn to be slapped smacked and spit on i really really love to be used and abused and honestly it's been too long 

prt 2 ... This was the first one on one interaction I'd had with
a female for over a month, and I'm ashamed to say that with
the smell of her perfume and her proximity to me, I was feeling
the tingles of an erection.
As we talked our legs occasionally touched each other,
and I was always the one to move. June told me that 23 was no
age and that a good looking young guy like me would have no
problem finding someone new. I tried to get off the subject
and asked about her. She was divorced from Emma's dad
for some 20 years now and never seemed to have any interest
in dating again. She smiled and put her hand on my knee and
squeezed and told me I was sweet. I must admit I blushed a
little. She seemed to take courage from my blushing and
moved her hand slightly up my leg and squeezed gently again
. Her smile was even broader as I began to squirm a little
trying to hide my growing erection. Her eyes held mine as
she slid her hand further up my thigh and her thumb brushed
the tip of my erection. She swirled her thumb around the
head making it twitch. I went to stand but her other hand
reached over and grabbed my knee firmly. I went to speak
but she seductively shushed me. Her thumb was joined by
the rest of her hand. I pushed upwards. June smiled and pulled her hand away. Leaving my cock twitching
in my jeans.
She asked me if I liked that, I dumbly nodded. She asked if I wanted more, again I nodded. Smiling, she leaned in and
kissed me gently on the lips, her tongue quickly darting
in and out of my mouth. She pulled away and told me to stand
up and strip as she wanted to see me naked. I was sexually
hypnotized, my little head was doing the thinking and the
rest of my body was just going along for the ride. I stood
in front of her, she smiled and leaned back on the sofa as
I took off my shirt. She leaned forward and undid my belt,
and pulled it from the hoops of my jeans, folded it and
laid it across her lap. I undid my jeans and let them drop
and stepped out of them. My hard as iron cock was trying its
best to escape its boxer short prison. I hesitated for a
second but her smile encouraged me and I slid them off as
well.
She reached over and cupped my hard balls and gently squeezed
, My cock throbbed and I almost exploded as she took the head
in her lips and sucked gently flicking it with her tongue. What happened next took me totally by surprise and I nearly
fell over. She wound the belt around my thighs and pulled
it tight. I found my footing and put my legs together and
she took the opportunity to pull it tighter till it was biting
into my thighs. She fastened it.
I must have had the dumbest of looks on my face as she stood
. Her hand reached down and stroked my cock and she kissed
me gently on the lips. She pulled away and smiled as I leaned
into her. As she walked around me, her warm hands stroking
my chest, gently pulling on the hairs. She kissed my shoulder
and neck. Biting ever so gently. She stroked my back, I felt
her nail lightly scratch. Her hand slid down and gave my
tight ass cheeks a squeeze. I was in a haze as she reached
into her bag. I became more confused as she pulled out a scarf
and tied tightly around my eyes. I heard a jingle then felt
cold steel being tightened around my wrist and then my arms
being pulled behind me and the other wrist was cuffed. I
felt her circle me. I winced as she pinched me and poked me
. She squeezed my balls hard and I almost doubled. Holding onto my shoulders, she gently pushed me. I shuffled the best
I could. She stopped and I figured we were in the middle of
the room.  

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This is a time to remain very aware.  Keep close watch over those who seek to distract and otherwise keep you busy whilst they rape and pillage our government and our republic.  It is the oldest trick in the book - keep them busy and in fear, meanwhile they shall help theirselves to a sizable helping of the American Taxpayers monies and benefits. Whilst government programs are being cut, WATCH WHERE THE MONEY and BENEFITS GO.  A simple diversion tactic.  All the law suits will keep people occupied while more and more of our liberty is stripped. Consider:  while the 'parents' have allowed the 'undisciplined child and friends' to run wild, the greater world wide community will have no problem 'spanking' the errant child and holding the 'parents' accountable for not parenting.  IT CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE. Be care full, be watch full, be account full and "do not go gentle into that good night." Be proactive and be ready for the change which is most certainly here.   

If you'd like a reasonable answer and a good prospect of meeting me for real, message me and Don't assume any titles. You can tell me how you like to be addressed. You can ask or tell me once how you are going to address me unless I. Start with a greeting. It says so much. Not using any also tells me novels about you. Very disappointing and frustrating ones though. Tell me the reason why you contact me. Is it based on my profile and to figure out if, when, and how we'll have a real session offline? Tell me. Respect your own prospect and mine. If there is no overlap between what we are looking, don't ignore that. Don't ask me or try to play online for instance. Ask me questions if you like, but don't ask me something you can look up. You can always ask about my own definitions or opinions about something but give me context, please. I need to know why you ask. Tell me something about you but not everything, especially not right from the beginnung. Start with the most relevant information concerning your reason to message me. Open up a bit. Personal information is a give and take. Our balance gives away a good portion about the prospect to meet. Manage your expectations. This is the internet. Without closer contact, you don't know in which situation I am in, any sudden accident or sickness for example. I expect having to filter through a lot of crappy messages, people not reading, lack of manners, disrespect, crazy people, insults, plenty of people just disappearing. The list goes on. Don't expect a 100% reply rate, even from me. I am only human. It's the internet. Don't stalk or annoy (see respect above) but be patient and persistent. The only way to filter strangers is time and continuous communication. Liars have a hard time keeping up consistency. Con and scammers people don't like to invest too much time into the same contact. Trust is most valuable, time is second to that, followed by other resources like money. Try to include a question towards progress on trust, checking if it's a match, and possibly a real meeting.

 When I wrote my profile, I had no idea what this site was like, but now that I've been here for a little while, I have a few things to add:I'm not interested in slaves, domestic servants or switches. This should go without saying, but I'm also not interested in men who aren't single. Long distance relationships don't work. If you don't currently live in (or near enough to conveniently drive to) the state of Florida, we will not be a match.My inbox has been flooded with messages from nameless, faceless guys who want to chat, but I'm not on this site looking for anonymous penpals. I'm sorry.I'm not interested in talking to submissives without photos. You've seen my face. If you feel uncomfortable showing me yours, that's totally fine, but if you're just words on a screen, I'm not going to be able to take you seriously. I am monogamous, and I have absolutely no interest in cuckolding. If that sort of thing interests you, you are not a candidate for the kind of relationship I'm looking for, so please don't waste my time or yours.  

In Januaury of last year I started a path I never saw myself doing... I hired a trainer and started working out 4 days a week... I feel like there should have been a betting pool, or something, because I NEVER expected to be on that same path a year and four months later...but here I am, healthier, at least 40 pounds lighter, and feeling so much better, physically, mentally, emotionally and about myself. I constatnly amaze myself with things, like how four years ago my doctors said I'd never lift more than 10 pounds... last Wednesday, I did dead lifts at 205 pounds for 5 reps... or how they said I would never be able to handle running again, I started jogging on the treadmill (supervised of course) and have a total of 5 minuets over 2 days, not bad for something I haven't done in over 20 years, and for someone with "heart failure"... In the last 20 years of my life, I've gone from an active live to inactive, a 30 waist to a 46, now back down to a 38, inching (get it?) closer to 36 actually... and all I can thinks is "Wow! I really like doing this!" You see, when I was a kid, it was the "jocks" the weightlifters, the football ogres, I mean players, that bullied harrased and made me feel insecure about being gay, if only they tried that today... anyhow, I never figured that this training I do now would be enjoyable because of that. Actually it's more than enjoyable. I get out of bed in the mornings with energy, ready to conqure my day and all that it throws at me! All because one day, I decided I wasn't gonna let heart failure win. Because I decided to be a healtheir, better me. And because I literally dared myself to do it! Who knows, maybe in a few weeks I'll give a progress update...

What She Is Looking For I am not looking for a fantasy. I am looking for a life, and I expect that life to be beautiful.  The distinction matters because fantasies are performed and lives are lived, and I have no interest in someone who shows up for the aesthetic and disappears when the reality of sustained devotion asks something difficult of them. Total Power Exchange is not a weekend arrangement or a mood that gets activated under the right conditions. It is the architecture of a shared existence, built deliberately, maintained consistently, and governed entirely by my authority. If that sentence produces hesitation in you, this is not your door to knock on. What I want is a man who presents to the world as my equal, polished and capable and the kind of presence that commands a room, who comes home and exhales completely into my ownership of him. The contrast is not incidental. It is the point. I am drawn to the specific magic of a man who holds genuine power in the world and chooses, with full understanding of what he is surrendering, to place it entirely at my feet. Submission means nothing from someone who had nothing to give. I want the full weight of what you are, handed over without reservation. I require intelligence. Not credentials, though I respect those. The living kind: curiosity, attentiveness, the capacity to learn me with the focused dedication of someone who has decided I am worth studying completely. I want to be known the way Keats knew beauty, as a truth so self-evident it requires no argument, only devotion, only the willingness to stand before it and be completely undone. I will know immediately whether you have paid that quality of attention. I always know. I am a dominant woman in the fullest sense: not a role I perform but a nature I inhabit. I move through the world with the ease of someone who has never needed permission to take up space, and I expect my home to reflect that, my dynamic to reflect that, my partner to reflect that back to me in the quality of his service and the depth of his surrender. The house runs on my standards. I have the Binder, and there is ceremony in you holding it, learning it, and cherishing the standard I have created through my writing. My comfort is the first consideration in every room. There is good linen and good light and the specific luxury of a life curated entirely to my taste, and you will maintain it to that standard because anything less is not a home I recognize. My pleasure is the organizing principle of our shared life, not as imposition but as the natural order of a structure we have both chosen and built together. I want your obsession. Earned, total, focused entirely on me. I think of E.E. Cummings carrying his heart in his hands, given over completely, and I want that, the real version of it, the version that costs something. I want to be the thing your thoughts return to without deciding to, the standard against which you measure every choice, the presence that lives in you so completely that pleasing me stops feeling like a task and starts feeling like breathing. I will wring that out of you, patiently and completely, until there is no daylight left between what you want and what I require. I mark what is mine. Permanently, intentionally, with the quiet pride of a woman who builds things to last. I do not share. I do not negotiate my authority. I do not soften my expectations to make them more comfortable to receive. The contract I offer is real, the terms are mine, and I hold to them with the same precision I expect from you. Emily Dickinson wrote that she dwelt in possibility, a fairer house than prose. That is the quality of interior life I bring to everything, including this, including you, and I expect to be met there by someone whose imagination is equal to mine, whose capacity for devotion is as expansive as what I am offering in return. And what I offer is not small. My world is one of ease and intention, of travel and good rooms and the particular luxury of a life built by a woman who knows exactly what she wants and has never once settled. I will take you to Greece and Japan and every beautiful place I have decided I deserve, and you will move through those places slightly behind me, handling everything that needs handling, leaving me free to inhabit the world at full scale. You will carry my bags, you will shine my boots, you will lay out my clothing and wonder at the softness of my lingerie, you will rub oil upon my skin and marvel aat the way I soak up the golden light at the end of a day we spent together.  In return you will live inside the most extraordinary thing available to a man like you: my full, genuine, sustained attention, chosen with my eyes open, given to someone I have decided is worth knowing completely. My care, when you have earned it, is not small. My world, once I allow you into it fully, is a place that will ruin you for anything less.  I know precisely what I am offering. The question is whether you are worth offering it to, and worth being molded in my carefully crafted image.   

You just came home from a long day at the office. I am in the bedroom waiting. I am wearing your favorite nightie with nothing underneath. I'm already so wet. My nipples are so hard now, and I want to touch them. I want to pinch one nipple with one hand and the other hand is playing with my pussy. Waiting and not being able to touch myself, is torture. And you know it. I can hear your smooth measured steps on the wooden floors. You stop in the kitchen, open the fridge and look through the shelves, making me wait.  The rules are simple. I am never allowed to wear bras or panties while in the house. I am never allowed to touch myself without your permission, and you rarely gives me permission. And when you comes home, I am to wait for you in our bedroom. I try to be a good girl, but sometimes forgiveness is easier to obtain than permission.  I can hear you now walking to the living room. The TV comes on. It's Sportscenter. I could from the theme song.  You're making me wait longer than usual. You never sit and watch TV. Tonight you are  punishing me. I just couldn't wait until you came home. home. Yesterday, I just couldn't wait! It was after you called me, and told me about all of the things you were gonna do to me. I was too revved up. So now you are punishing me. You didn't do anything to me. Just watched TV, while my hands were tied behind my back.  To Be Continued

Sadly the following gift card scam is the most action I ever see after joining these types of websites for the past decade  I'm happy to know how serious you are to explore this fetish life style. I shall be taking you stage by stage to make sure you understand all about what I'm requesting from you and what you need to know about my lifestyle. Reading your response let me understand more that you are not a novice but you still require some training in this lifestyle.I will be more than happy to train and transform you to the best of your ability to serve dominant. I shall be discussing with you list of my kinks, rules and regulations which are mandatory whenever you meet any dominant.Before that,i have listed below questions i will want to know about you and it is as follow :1) What do you do for a living ? Do you think your work can prevent you in anyway to explore your fetish side.2) Have you any fetish or kink you have always wanted to explore before now .. i like you to share with me if there is any ?3) Do you think you are ready to explore this lifestyle with me on a serious level of commitments, and if you pass your 3 task are you ready to be my collared slave?4) How old are you presently ?5) Do you think you can ever get so deep with fetish activities?6) How can you describe your personality ?7) What could be your hard limitations ?8) When you write me a message try to be more polite to include your initial below your message,that shows some respect.9) Include your picture ?10) Were do you live presently ?11)Hope buying the fetish materials for your training session will not be a problem for you ?12) Once you are ready to serve and train under my command as your dominant master, you should be ready to deactivate your profile from " website " .. Agree or disagree?I hope to read from you soon.Dominantly

Okay, well another one just dropped out of the running lol  When he submitted himself to Me he claimed he retired in May and would be able to serve then.  I said, great, get in touch a month ahead of time.  lol  Well, we did speak once a week for an hour over the course of many weeks simply getting to know one another.   When asked how I wished to be served, I said, don't stress it, just serve Me as you served your previous Mistress of 17 years and I'll taylor you to My liking as we go.  Honestly, any man who has served a woman, knows what to do out of the gate.  The details WILL work out quite simply and speedily once under My control.  After all, do these guys honestly think I'm going to invest time into them with no return?  LOL  Ya'll are playing with Me LOL  I am NOT a fin domme in any sense of the word, however My time energy and aura are priceless and if there is going to be MY involvement their will be ROI now!  LOL So, I did My basic CSpace research which happens with any slave who happens to catch My interest - especially when they have issues and or otherwise raise suspect to Me.  Low and behold I found several other profiles across the US fitting the same descriptors!  When I questioned the self proclaimed slave, he had no idea what I was talking about (go figure lol) and yet the profiles were exact!  lol  Note to all the liars and losers - mix it up a bit or Meta Mama is going to find you out!  LOL Okay, so lady dominants, beware of the cali multi running round seeking a Mistress and due to retire in May.  He gets you interested, feels you out with all the regular promises one makes to very controlling women, then when it doesn't fit his fancy, another Mistress pops in his chat frame and tells you he has been a very naughty boy and is actually being controlled by another and so sorry but he is unavailable...but will let you know if he comes back on the market!   ROFL  Some of you guyz are a riot AND turds! ANY FEMALE DOMINANT WHO WISHES TO CONTACT ME PRIVATELY - I WOULD BE HAPPY TO DISCUSS ANY and ALL TURDS.  I shall not give personal information on the subject obtained, however I will be sharing My experience with said slaves and sharing how to spot them.  REMEMBER:  Text search is your friend.  ******************************************************************** Meanwhile, here on planet earth I continue to hear from and share with some terrific sincere and caring men.  I can only hope that we continue to come to know one another and to share more in the future.  Thank you for being the bright lights you are.  Keep up the good work and keep making those fantasists stand out like the sore thumb they are!  Kissesssss

Sweet DreamsI want to see loveI want to feel it's touch me softly across face at firstI want to smell love ,the way you smell the gulf before you see itI want to treat it on my dry lips and have it hug my soulI speak of things I know cause I once felt that kind of love A warm day many years ago ,time really don't matter it is just my floating pass, things I can't touch or remember well or just the parts, that make my old world part of my new oneBut love I remember how it left the teat in my lips like salt ,not like one you get from table salt but you get when you eat something that was made with sugar and salt, fist the sweet treat and the the salt that brings you back slowlyI love being in the world where air is lighter and it is hard to keep your feet on the ground , your love songs touch you deeper and food treat better,all of this is because you feel loveYes I do love to feel that nothing can go wrong and maybe she/he feels the same , that they will see brighter colors and the would will seem cleaner , and maybe just maybe the world wants to show it all to you and can act like you're seeing it for the first time.And sometime dreams are all we have, dream it will get better,dream that someone will understand you,dream that people will stop thinking you're a fool, dreams are the one thing we can count on, they will always be there.To us when no one will not, to hug us when we need a hug and to love us no matter what.Clayborne Arno HarrisApr 11, 2019

It will be OK Two drifting people on different ways,Living limited lives from distant days.Surrounded by many, yet still alone,Both in houses, but neither at home.A chance encounter - light, no more -Stirred something deep in each to the core.Old memories woke, a future appeared,New beginnings whispered where caution had steered.One stepped forward, the other stepped back,Too much to carry, too much to track.Too deep for one heart to sustain,And early joy gave way to pain.Like moths to flame they circled still,Neither yet ready for the bitter pill.Until at last he spoke his truths,Releasing both back to their roots.They dared to dream - and will again -Just not together.That much is plain.

What respect means to me Respect is a versatile word in that it has multiple meanings depending on use. I mostly see the word respect by the definition to place high or having great esteem or admiration. This form of respect is something that can not be given, nor can it be taken away as noble words and deeds must earn it. A second aspect of the word respect is giving consideration or special attention. I do not like to use respect in this way. I prefer to use the word courtesy instead as it is more often viewed more favorably by audience, especially in the bdsm community

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