I excel at cutting people out. Call it a super power. It's not always a clean cut on the inside. Sometimes it takes years to be able to sever the heartstrings. I think people always stay with you. Good or bad, short or lifelong, they are in your wrinkly little brain (yeah, yeah, it's big, I believe you) evermore. I have always considered this ability more of a curse than a blessing, like something is wrong with me. And maybe something is. Maybe there's no maybe. I'm sorting it out. It doesn't change the fact that I am actively making the most difficult cut of my life. There is very little support for my decision, but I've got to do what's right for me. I was just thinking that maybe my prior experience in this was making me stronger for the superbowl of all severed ties. Two years ago I don't know if I could have held my ground. But I'm building trust in myself and being brave. I am valuable and what I think and feel is valid. Important. That's all I need to worry about. All of that mess over there, that's not my responsibility. 

Name Change as a Sign  Since ancient times names has been a map to knowing people and places. A name is you in sound. Many societies used multiple names to protect the inner soul and very lives of individuals. Certainly secret societies, religions, and associations use name change as a way to signal a change of life and alliances. The ideas of acquiring a new name appears in ancient and sacred texts and invariably signal a deeper commitment and a sign of change and transformation. Part of many rites of passage include after the third step, reintegration, the new name. That is why after such rites people speak about the new person that has emerged after the ritual. The name is then a way to mark ownership, commitment, and deep understanding of the individual’s newly acquired status. We tend to give names to those things and individuals that we possess or at least hold a claim to. The selection and bestowing of a name in those circumstances is a provocative moment in which one end of the equation decides (based on his understanding) the name of the individual to be reborn through the new name. The level of intimacy this act requires and entails will bound both individuals beyond their wildest dreams. In this case the Alpha be one Sir, Lord, Master, etc and the sub will take the neme his superior bestows; and in that moment the bond created will be consummated constantly through the word and specifically through sex. 

It was a mixture of arousal, curiosity and his final reassurance that made her mind up. She knew she could say ‘Stop’ and he would, though that could be permanent, it was an instinctive decision that made her move towards the lift and later she realised why she made it. There was a logical progression to it. She was a stubborn person with a rebellious streak and a free will who made her own decisions and didn’t blame others when they went awry. Here she was reigning in her rebellious streak of her own free will and her natural instincts reinforced this. Her stubbornness would make her comply with what she wanted in this regard, even though it seemed counterintuitive.  Now it was a rush to the receptionist’s desk to get a pen, the envelope was already open and had the room number written on it. The contract was one piece of A4 paper and the male receptionist must have seen the bold type headline which stated ‘SUBMISSIVE’S CONTRACT’. She didn’t have time to read it all, her instinct told her that he would not put anything in it that he had not said. And what would be the point as it was a symbolic act, not a contract that could be legally enforced.  She hurried the short distance to the lift; the concierge seemed to have anticipated her need and he had pressed the button, she momentarily wondered if he knew. Once inside she selected the 4th floor. Her heart missed a beat when just before the doors closed a woman stepped into the lift causing the doors to recycle again and they selected the 3rd floor; she knew this would delay her further. She willed the lift to move faster but still almost in two minds about what she was doing, but she wanted to be the decision-maker on this and not subject to an arbitrary cut off due to time. Her pride ensured she used the time to check her hair and lipstick in the mirror as she would not countenance the thought he would not find her attractive.  The lift reached the 4th floor and according to the large sign room 417 was to the right, she almost ran, nearly tripping over her heels on the thick carpet.  The door to room 417 was slightly ajar, and a ‘do not disturb’ sign was hanging on the handle. She stood for a second or two to let her breathing steady, it seemed to take ages for her hand to travel from to the door, her knock was timid and her stomach almost jumped as she heard the noise her hand made.  A firm reply was forthcoming a few seconds later. ‘Come in Joanna’. She swallowed, took a deep breath and gripping the envelope, pushed the door open and whilst trying to look calm she stepped inside and the door closed with an almost imperceptible click.  The room was warm and gently lit from the lamp above the desk he was sitting at. His jacket was over the back of his chair and the few papers he was attending too were lying about.  Nonplussed for a moment she stood there waiting for some sort of guidance, she knew what she had to do but some sort of signal from him seemed essential.  He understood, or knew, and stood before quietly saying, ‘Come here Joanna’. It was about 4 steps and he stood almost impassively as she greeted him properly. Her arms went around his waist and she pressed herself against him until he said that she could stop. This time it seemed natural and gave a moment when she could do something that seemed familiar and that she was in control of. It also served to break some of her tension before she stepped back ready to kneel. Kneeling seemed a strange and almost alien act; she had been on her knees in front of a man before, but then she was in control of him, she forcibly overcame her rebellious streak and found it disappeared almost entirely.  Her eyes cast down she noticed her knees were together, it seemed inappropriate so she moved them further apart. Taking a larger breath she looked down at his feet and with the envelope in both hands, she held it up to him.  He didn’t seem to move for ages, and then he took it from her hands. He checked her signature was on the contract before placing it amongst the other papers on the desk. This was a small action, however, it made her realise that she had voluntarily signed this part of herself over to him. He had taken possession and she was now his.  He turned the chair to face her and sat on it.  She was on her knees only a few feet from a man she had just given her submission to in writing, she was no longer so nervous, it was now anticipation mixed with exhilaration and her senses were alive! She was now free to be what he decided. He leant forward and lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look him in the eyes, ‘Joanna, you are now mine’ he said quietly.  After a pause during which he just looked at her he then continued ‘The photography will wait until tomorrow as there are a few matters from earlier today I will address straight away.’ He wasn’t asking for a reply, he told her to stand and rest her elbows on the desk. She was a little taken aback, whilst earlier considering what might happen this evening she thought he might just photograph her. In a way that would be easier to contemplate, she could understand it would be a reasonable first private meeting, however, she knew it would disappoint her.  But now he was going to ‘Address some matters’ and that sounded ominous, it made the butterflies in her stomach come alive again. She did as asked, putting her elbows on the desk. He told her to arch her spine downwards, this meant she was bent over much further than she felt comfortable, it made her bottom more pronounced and her skirt was tighter. Her knees flexed as she tried to contain the nerves generated by her bottom being so vulnerable, he ordered her to straighten her legs and keep them so, as it tightened the skin of her buttocks. What he did next was unexpected, he ran his fingers around her neck gathering her hair into his hand at the nape of her neck. He expertly wound it into a ponytail using a band that must have been around his wrist. She now felt even more vulnerable without the usual shield of hair that would normally surround her face. She nervously moved her weight from one foot to another. He told her to spread her legs wider to shoulder width. She glanced up into the mirror above the desk; she could see him standing a few meters behind her, looking at her in a way few men had done. It was not simple lust, his face was almost impassive, she could see he was comfortable looking at the salacious view she presented.  His voice was calm as he told her that she had been disobedient when she broke away from the greeting before she had been told she could, she had also been demanding in their early email exchanges. For these, she was going to have her bottom spanked, he said it would be a ‘cumulative dozen’ and if she made any of these mistakes again it would be a stricter punishment.  He told her to raise her skirt over her back, this unnerved her more, it was one thing to have her skirt lifted, but another to do it herself! She thought she could not, but his curt statement of ‘disobey and I will use a strap instead of my hand’ encouraged her. She rested her forehead on the desk and reaching behind her with both hands she lifted the hem of her skirt until it lay over her back. He then described the view he had of her bottom in very basic language. His description of the way her swollen sex lips bulged into her panties was particularly crude and said with distinctive pleasure.  A short while later he moved to her left side. He reached over her back and pulled her right hip towards him, holding her still by trapping her against his thigh.

TO ANYONE WHO BLOCKED ME OR GHOSTED ME Thank you. When a person ghosts or blocks me I think it says more about them than it does about me. When someone ghosts or blocks me I say a little prayer. Well, that's not the first thing I do. The first thing I do is to probably to say a few little curse words --- just a few of my favorites --- and then I say a little prayer. I say the prayer because I am thankful that I dodged a bullet. I think that people who ghost or block others are weak and cowardly. They don't have the strength of character, integrity, honesty, or courage that I want, in fact, require in anyone that I am associated with whether it be a friend, a submissive, a colleague, or anyone else. They are doing me a favor by ghosting or blocking me because I am better off without them.  

Something must be wrong with me I have wandered out amongst the wolves lately... I kinda knew what would happen but like everyone, I hoped for different... I hoped to find that hidden jewel standing in the shadows like I typically do, alas fools gold emerged... In my submission the power dynamic is very important, ( I do voice this upon meeting) I think it’s taken with a grain of salt but I communicate and try to warn of my insecure Self Protective Dominant Nature... I scream that I live my vanilla life in Top Space, I live there everyday, I have responsibilities there, deadlines, decisions, must do’s and I hold myself accountable to be all things and do all things... I can be quite aggressive in this world ( I’ve learned to live in ). I’m not sure these days if I’m actually conveying this or if it’s in my head .... Like a movie that plays in the background while you are thinking or doing something else. You say your a Dominant / Master or even Top... I say I’m looking for a part time arrangement because I’m married in an open relationship... He is not a Dominant / Master however he is my Alpha. I am given free license to fulfill my cravings as long as it doesn’t interfere with my marriage... ( I will admit pretty cool and I’m thankful) I love my Husband and I do serve him too ... not sure he understands it all the time but if it wasn’t for my submission to him, I would have ran a long time ago... He holds very strong with me and he does remind me of who is in charge... I then advise of my personality and my need to relinquish control but that a foundation must be built with me due to needing to trust you. I advise you about my role in my everyday life... Yes there is a lot about me ( sorry I’m so complicated) Then we start to get to know one another ... You agree this can be accomplished ... (Maybe in wishful thinking, we all have periods of that) you read my journals I’m open and honest with you. I speak of my short comings honestly I understand I’m a lot to take on ... I try to be as good as possible until you start to ask me questions or speak about techniques you don’t understand .... I try to explain. What I know ... I find out you have done no research in the lifestyle and have not reached out to anyone / or attended anything. The Power Dynamic shifts due to your lack of knowledge and I become the teacher .... Things then fall apart for me, I try to rationalize you are human and give you allowances for that .... but no I have periods of top space that go unchecked ... things crumble This is my journey ... this is why I walk away ... This is why you might see me out and then I disappear... I love this lifestyle but I will say it is the hardest thing to understand in my life... Each time this happens it takes a lot of me, leaving me empty, sad and like something is wrong with me .... Tags: (add) Aug 15, 2018

It has occurred to me that for thousands of years almost every woman (and man) has participated in not just power exchange, but perhaps a form of prostitution as well. Almost every marriage in history is a result of women looking for protection and provision. In exchange for this the man gets sex. What says the crowd? While on the subject of prostitution, if a woman does exchange sexual favors for compensation, has she also committed the crime of human trafficking, even if her "victim: was herself? Many want "Her body, Her choice" but when it comes to prostitution they will write a hundred laws to prevent it (except for the escorts their aids bring in for them).

He was there when i was brokenHe was there when the tears shreddedHe was there when my meds wasnt workingHe was there walking by my side protecting meHe was there to pick up the pieces when my family threw me to the wolvesHe was there for me when i felt aloneHe was there to pick up the phone when i needed to talkHe was there for me when i had a mental snap due to my medical problemsHe was there for me through thick and thinHe was there tp correct me when i messed upHe was there and has been for going on 11 yearsIt all started by a simple friend requestHe was there for my failures and successesCan you say that about your Master? If not good you deserve itMy Master is my saver im still breathing because of him thank you Master i respect you and thank you for being there for me and allowing me to walk by you now its my turn to return it if you need me im one phone call away just a text away im here for you

First I'd like to say thank you to everyonw who has messaged me offering support and sympathies over my recent health decline, it's been very helpful to feel the support and encouragement! I have an appointment in a few days with cardio, so hoping for better results when I go in then ...  on the other hand, the shop is going well we have 24 listings on ebay currently and we're excited to keep adding to those listings I do have to say, I hate having this heat failure, I hate days like today when I am so congested and have no energy, I hate when I feel weak, but it makes me appreciate the good days so much more! Take nothing for granted and enjoy life with good vibes!!!!

I really dislike trying people on. The awkward small talk and insincere laughing, picking through the rolodex to create temporary common ground. Sorting feelings. I don't like dating, don't like more people touching me. I am a one person person. The right person. Maybe a number of people fit that, I'm not of the soulmate mindset. Rather, a click. A feeling. A knowing. Instinct? I tried waiting. Waiting brought sadness and pizza. A lot of time in neutral. Or maybe sleeper mode, good ol' ursa time. I'm ready to wake up. Still don't want to sift through the racks for the right fit, keep your hands to yourself. Maybe just window shop for a while. Or better yet, put myself in the window and see who wants to shop. The flower and the bee, friends. Know your role.  I was in such a serious mode right there, and as I reread for autocorrect typos my dog started snoring. Sweet girl, she brings lightness to my heart. He may come, he may not, but she is mine, and sometimes that's enough. 

Let’s contemplate the issue of energy when it come to sex among equals. As a rule nature is perceived as male and female, positive and negative, dry and wet, light and dark, cold hot; you get the idea. However if we add to these categories the fact that there are many ways in which these elements can manifest it becomes apparent that in nature these concepts are very fluid. There are many ways in which gender is conceptualize by cultures and more varied indeed is the manner in which gender roles are characterized. When it comes to love among equal genders these categories manifest but from the standpoint of strength which is the value of the male realm. Passive, submissive, or any other adjectives given to the bottom are but description of how the male strength choses to emerge in a male/male relationship; the same way when we use other adjectives to characterize tops. Any word and denomination is constraining and the truth is that there are many ways to be a bottom and many ways to be a top and the fluidity of these energies are always in a state of flux.  As a rule the male strength is always present regardless of the role we play in an intimate relationship. The strength and force of a male grip either using the hand, the mouth the anus, or the phallus is still a manifestation of that universal force that permeates all of us as we engage each other’s energy within the chosen role. That is a point of departure; there can not be a top without a bottom or vice versa. It is as I said before the natural order of things. No one can denny the fact that we are relating our energies in a sexual encounter as a male to male proposition but in a different degree of intensity which makes the encounter fulfilling and meaningful. The organs involved speak to the degree of energy engaged and no one can forget the fact that there is a male exchange of energies which is mutually fulfilling when done right.

  Momentarily distracted by his need to spill his bladder, he was now aware of leather cuffs being affixed to each wrist. The metal cuffs had started to chafe. A leather belt was locked to his waist and each wrist in turn was released from the metal restraint and re fastened to the waist belt on each side. More comfortable. He was pushed down to the floor and over on his back. The sensation of cold hard tile and his need for relief was flooding his brain. Deprived of sight and speech his awareness shrank. Leather ankle cuffs were locked on and fastened together as a hobble.   The socks were pulled off and with them, the last vestige of his former self.   Her gloved hands embraced the sides of his hood. Suddenly he could see again. Stunning. She was squatting over his face. Eye piece in hand. Again, her smell. The leather smell. The antiseptic smell of the floor. Sternly she commanded him to be obedient and explained that she would remove the gag on the condition he only speak when spoken to.   Nodding, the mouthpiece came off.   His urgent need was all he could think about. He squirmed in his restraints.   The return of his sight and the Glorious image above him aroused his cock to a shaft of steel. Involuntarily he thrust it up arching his back. Buttocks lifted off the floor.   She regained her standing position posture as erect as his now throbbing cock. She laughed. A low grunting sob gurgled from his lips. She smirked and curled her lips into a snarl. For the first time he took in his surroundings. It was a utility room connecting the garage with the rest of the house.     A shower of sorts with a head on a umbilical hose in one corner for cleaning things. There was a drain in the floor and he realized he was laying on it.  

You say You are concernedwhen i say i am corneredin my thoughts, craftedby cornerstones of my sinsand demons and shadows.You say it is cold in herewhen i say the fire still claimsthe corners of our house.You say You are going for a walkwhen i can't even find a door.You say i need to be tucked inwhen i am concerned about Younever returning, taking myheart with You tucked awayand forgotten in Your pocket.You say that time will heal mewhen i say that this time wasmy last time, for this life time.You say i will be just finewhen i say you are my world.-dirtydarling

ABOUT ME:      I am a “Service Oriented” slave. I was born with a slave’s heart and nothing gives me greater pleasure than to Serve. As a slave, I know that BDSM is not about me, but how I may serve you and make your life easier for you. I possess honestly, integrity and ethics and I expect the same from the Dominate as well. I see my future where I will live in a rigid, powerful Female-Led Relationship where the Mistress will make and enforce the Rules of our relationship. What I Have to Offer: *I will accept your will and decisions without hesitation or ion. I WILL OBEY! *I will devote myself to fully pleasing you including doing all of the housework, laundry, shopping, etc. to remove any unwanted tasks from your life (Service Oriented Slave) *I will accept all forms of discipline and punishment when required to insure I remain focused on obeying your Rules, Commands and Instructions. Obviously, you may also punish me whenever you feel like doing so just for your amusement   Our Relationship: * You will determine my schedule and how I spend my time  in an effort to add quality to your life *You will decide what I wear and when I wear it to humiliate and control me * You will benefit from my unique wisdom and areas of expertise as developed over the years. However, the final decision in any matter is yours alone *Our relationship will be dedicated to a lifestyle, not a form of role-playing (Female Supremacy to male subservience) *Our relationship will be based on Trust and Compatibility. Such an arrangement like this is not something you just jump into without developing trust with each other *In its purest form, our relationship will be all about You.

If you want me...Tell me. Don't wait for me to approach you, You may be broken a little bit inside, but you have to start by fixing yourself.. Do not wait for someone to come along and try to fix you. If you cancel our first date because you are afraid of what you can not control, than there will not be a second date. If you want to stick to chatting only, I will think that you probably have no interest in pursuing anything and I will move on. If you pretend not to give a fuck, I will think you really do not give a fuck, and I will move on. If the only way you can show your love is with your legs wide open... Than it probably will not last.. So why try? If you want me, you need to step out of your shadow and insecurities. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Fall and Winter 2021 update. Lisa's desires for younger/youthful gurls: "If you are a younger Domme Gurl; whom would like an older sub/slave woman, and you would like to take that extra Control over her. Your using and humiliating her lifestyle to your pleasure; then please read on further. And, what could be more humiliating for an older woman when she kneels incestuously before someone young enough to be her daughter or granddaughter?" A lovely lady lesbian, lecherous, lascivious, seeking similar, saucy, sexy, sophisticated, stylish, social, slender, smooth, similar senioress sisters. update information........Lisa and Brenda now live here together as two wonderful lovingly respectful, honestly honorable ladies from another gender. We so enjoy the compatibility of each other, our integrity, character, honesty, candor with each other---appreciation it is, totally. The feeling of being subjugated to another in all aspects of my daily life--- is an unfilled dream of so many of us gurls. Lisa is now finally retired, and she would lose total Control if someone was "in charge" of her breasts constantly, for they are the most sensitive part of her whole body !!! Sex, is rapidly moving to the back burner so to speak---due to these advancing years!

I have been getting a lot of emails asking to hear from my husband M. He sometimes signs on here and speaks with those who write me. So, I asked him to write a little report about something meaningful that happened to him lately. This is what he produced.    This afternoon, I happened to be in my room (dressed in regular clothes minus pants) when K came in unexpectedly, wearing a sexy, silky, blue push-up bra, red ruffled panties, and her strappy white 5" heels. It was just prior to the 4th of July and this was supposed to be her holiday-appropriate outfit for her boyfriend.  Seeing that she had gotten dressed up for her boyfriend, I knew what was coming; in this house, when K gets dressed up in something sexy, I know I will be getting dressed up in the printed ABDL diapers instead of my typical white ones. Sure enough, after rummaging through my closet, she picked out a white and baby blue trimmed t-shirt that she then put over head after telling me to raise my arms. "Isn't that cute," she remarked with a pleasant but rather condescending tone. She really likes this shirt because it stops and my waist.  This was followed by telling me to lay down for a change from my usual plain white diapers to my thick printed diapers. It was a quick change, all business, she ignored my caged penis as usual other than dusting it with powder. As she stood me up and checked the tapes, I caught my reflection in the full length mirror that hangs on the back of my door. I felt so humiliated, the smell of pee-soaked diapers coming from the diaper pail in the corner mixed with the constant aroma of baby powder filling my nose as she dressed me like a toddler, knowing she was about to have wild sex in the other room--something I would be excluded from, as usual. "You look amazing, K. I can't believe what that bra does to your boobs." I complimented her. "Thanks baby, too bad they're not for you," she told me, cupping her big breasts in her hands to emphasize her point  with a little giggle and I felt my little penis straining in my chastity device. "But I could try again if you'd let me," I said, trying not to sound too desperate. "M, how long are you going to continue asking?", she said dismissing me, "I don't even understand why you ask at all. We already came to an understanding a long time ago now didn't we? Has anything changed? will it ever change?" I blushed at the memory and meekly replied, "No." She was right of course. When I think about the conversation we had the night she told me we'd never have sex again, I know that I accepted our new arrangement. It's just that I guess I haven't got out of the habit of trying.  Turning me around, she gave me a firm pat on my diapered bottom and strode out of the room. Looking in the mirror on the back of my door again as she closed it, I again blushed with shame. About a half hour later, I heard the knock and K answering the door. I stayed in my room, working on the computer listening to them chatting at first but then walking down the hall past my bedroom into hers. They had been in there with the door closed for about 20 minutes when I heard... "M, come in here." I walked in with a little waddle and an audible crinkle, to see her bent over her boyfriend who was lying on top of the master bed. She was deepthroating his big cock and I stared in mesmerized silence, watching the thick, slippery shaft disappear into her wet, eager mouth and throat.Some secret part of me wondered less how it would feel to have that done to me and more how it would feel in my own mouth. Swallowing hard, I instinctively put a hand on the front of my soft, cushiony diapers. I just stood there watching for what seemed like eternity ignored by both K and John, but in reality was probably no more than 5 minutes. Finally, with a wave of her hand, she dismissed me, sending me back to my room, or anywhere really, just not with them. Before long, the sounds of their enthusiastic lovemaking filled the house and I listened with rapt attention. Looking at my humiliating reflection in the mirror, I blushed with shame at my pathetic image. Both of them saw me as nothing but a complete submissive, that would never change. My cheeks flushed with humiliation at the thought and I rubbed the front of my diapers all the more frantically as I took in my reflection. The short shirt, the print on the diaper that was starting to fade from the wetness after two accidents, the outline of my cage on the plastic shell. I was in frantic need of an orgasm, but because of the cage, there was little effect. Feeling sexually frustrated and wanting more, I went to my dresser and grabbed my favorite jelly buttplug--the big clear one, which I rubbed down with the baby oil K sometimes uses during diaper changes. Pulling the back of my diapers down, I could hear K moaning in the other room and her boyfriend's subtle grunting as I began pushing the fat buttplug into my eager hole. I can barely handle the width of this plug, especially at first, and I moaned with a mixture of discomfort and angst. I couldn't get it in standing and dropped to all fours. At last, it slipped inside me and I exhaled in relief. Nevertheless, as I pulled my diapers back up and sat down in front of the mirror and soon began to savor the feeling of rubbery fullness filling my back passage. M was getting what she needed and I was getting as best I could.  I don't even know how long I had been sitting there grinding, which so far had only resulted in further desire when M staggered back into my room and right up in front of where I sat. I sat there frozen as she lightly guided her fingers between her legs then told me to stick out my tongue. I crawled to her, inhaling her amazing scent, caressed her legs as I plunged my face between her legs and she let her boyfriend's creamy cum drip onto my outstretched tongue. "I'm dripping baby boy, clean me up please" she said with a smug grin and stood now with her feet shoulder width apart.I couldn't help but hurriedly press my face into her body. I could smell the result of their lovemaking as another man's sperm completely coated my tongue while I cleaned her with my mouth. Some even dribbled down to land on the chest of my infantile t-shirt. Suddenly, to my surprise, she stood me up and pulled me with the waistband of my diaper to the chair in the corner of my room where she took a seat and I stood in front of her. She abruptly pulled my diapers down. I whimpered with fear as she bent me over her lap, selecting the wooden paddle on my dresser. Feeling the cool air on damp bare bottom, I squirmed knowing I wasn't going to like what was about to happen. "You will not ask for sex again", she quipped as she brought the paddle down across both my soft, tender cheeks pushing the plug into me. "I'm so sorry" I managed to get out between the 3rd and 4th smack. I cried miserably, occasionally glancing over at my humiliating reflection in the mirror. There could be no doubt who sat at the bottom of the social ladder in this house--that was for sure! At last she finished, and after setting the paddle down, she left closing the door. Leaving me to pull my diapers back up for myself.   Sigh...just another day's activities at my house...

The Officer's Seduction The night had a certain allure, a seductive darkness that seemed to beckon Seraphine Vale as she drove home from work. It was well past midnight, the hour when the world slept, and the roads were nearly deserted. Her shift at the art restoration studio had been particularly grueling, and she longed for the solace of her own bed. Little did she know, this night would offer a different kind of solace, one that would leave her breathless and trembling.   As she navigated the familiar route, her thoughts drifted, contemplating the intricate details of an ancient painting she had been working on. Seraphine's mind was a sanctuary of quiet concentration, her focus unwavering until a sudden flash of blue and red lights snapped her back to reality. She slowed her car to a halt, her heart pounding against her ribcage as she realized she had inadvertently strayed into a speed trap.   The officer who approached her vehicle was a striking figure, his tall, lean frame cloaked in the authoritative uniform of a police officer. It was Lucian Asterian, a man whose reputation preceded him, though not in the typical way of law enforcement. His dark, piercing eyes seemed to see right through her, and his presence was both commanding and unsettling.   "License and registration, please," his voice was deep and clipped, carrying an undertone of authority that sent a shiver down Seraphine's spine. She complied, her hands treming slightly as she handed over the requested documents. Lucian's gaze was intense, almost predatory, as if he was studying her, not just her papers.   "Step out of the car, Miss," he ordered, his voice laced with a hint of something that made Seraphine's stomach flutter. She hesitated, her mind racing with questions, but the command in his eyes left no room for argument. Slowly, she opened the door and stepped onto the deserted road, the cool night air caressing her skin.   Lucian's eyes roamed over her, taking in her slender form, clad in a simple black dress that accentuated her delicate curves. His gaze lingered on her face, noting the stormy gray eyes that seemed to mirror his own intensity. "Hands behind your back," he instructed, his voice now a low, seductive growl.   Seraphine's breath caught in her throat as she felt the cold metal of the handcuffs against her wrists. Lucian's touch was firm, his fingers grazing her skin as he secured the cuffs, sending a jolt of awareness through her body. She stood there, vulnerable and exposed, as he circled her, his eyes raking over her like a physical caress.   "What's a beautiful woman like you doing out here at this hour?" he murmured, his breath warm against her ear. Seraphine shivered, her body betraying her as she leaned into his touch. Lucian's hand slid down her arm, his fingers entwining with hers, and for a moment, she felt the warmth of his palm against her skin.   Then, without warning, he spun her around, pressing her body against the hood of her car. The cold metal was a stark contrast to the heat emanating from Lucian's body. He leaned in close, his lips brushing against her ear, his breath hot and intoxicating. "You're a naughty girl, breaking the rules," he whispered, his voice a husky purr.   Seraphine's heart was racing, her body responding to his words, to the dominance in his tone. She felt a rush of wetness between her thighs as he ran his hands up her sides, his fingers kneading her soft flesh. He squeezed her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her hardening nipples through the thin fabric of her dress, eliciting a soft moan from her lips.   "You like that, don't you?" he growled, his voice thick with desire. "You like being touched, being taken right here on the side of the road." His words were a taunt, a challenge, and Seraphine couldn't deny the truth in them. She nodded, her eyes closing as she surrendered to the sensations coursing through her.   Lucian's hands moved lower, his fingers dipping beneath the hem of her dress, tracing the lace of her panties. He teased her, his touch light and teasing, making her ache for more. With a swift motion, he tore her panties away, leaving her exposed and wanting.   "Please," she whispered, her voice hoarse with need. "I want..."   Lucian didn't let her finish. Instead, he gripped her hips, pulling her back against his hard length. She could feel his erection, straining against his uniform, as he positioned himself at her entrance. Without warning, he thrust forward, claiming her in one swift, brutal stroke.   Seraphine cried out, her body arching as he filled her, not with the gentleness she had anticipated, but with a rough, primal urgency. He pounded into her, his hips slamming against her buttocks, his hands gripping her hips tightly, leaving marks on her skin. The pain was exquisite, blending with the pleasure until she couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.   "You're so tight," he grunted, his breath hot against her neck. "So fucking wet." His words were crude, but they only served to heighten her arousal. She wanted to be used, to be taken by this man, in this moment, in the most primal way possible.   Lucian's rhythm was relentless, his body a powerful force driving into hers. He reached around, his fingers finding her clit, and began to rub in time with his thrusts. Seraphine's world narrowed to the sensations he was eliciting, the feel of his cock buried deep within her, the roughness of his fingers against her sensitive flesh.   "Cum for me," he demanded, his voice a harsh command. "Let me feel it, you beautiful bitch."   His words were like a trigger, and Seraphine's orgasm exploded through her, rippling waves of pleasure that left her gasping and trembling. She cried out, her body convulsing around him, her juices flowing freely as she climaxed. Lucian's own release followed swiftly, his cock throbbing as he emptied himself deep inside her, his hot seed filling her ass.   They stood there, panting, their bodies slick with sweat and the evidence of their passion. Lucian's hands released her hips, and he stepped back, his eyes never leaving hers. Seraphine felt exposed, vulnerable, and yet, there was a sense of power in her surrender.   He reached down, uncuffing her hands, and then, without a word, he adjusted his uniform, the bulge in his pants a testament to their encounter. Seraphine watched, her body still humming with pleasure, as he walked back to his patrol car.   As she slid back into the driver's seat, her dress in disarray and her body throbbing, she realized the detour had been more than just a chance encounter. It was a night that would forever be etched in her memory, a night where she had been taken, possessed, and left wanting more. As she drove away, the road ahead seemed brighter, as if the darkness had illuminated a new path, one that led straight to Lucian's door.

No poetry from me today as I am looking forward to seeing Pretty Wreckless and  ACDC tomorrow at Wembley!!!  On a different subject those who apply to me who drive don't continue chatting. I have no intention of doing online sexting and expect ordinary topic style conversation which appears to beyond those submissive guys who message me 🤔  Okay they are not compatible so I move on. Though I wonder why they bother at all if they don't wish to make an effort to chat here. Of course establishing his intent is key. Most hold back on that using "boy speak" thinking creepy words which sound simpy will suffice= No. Honesty is key and attending the Munch I mention ASAP is the first step. Want to voice talk with me = it will be voice on Skype no you will not get my mobile number. No I am not interested until your location is near me. "Oh I will move for you" is declined/blocked. Reading other journals I see plenty of Dominant Women going through a similar problem. A guy who thinks he is interested and fits key points she seeks = submissive by his intent to please her and is ready to do stuff to show that. Like attending a munch as an adult and being a pleasant social adult. Why is being a social adult past his remit of what he can offer= his intent is to be an online wanker. That's blocked by me. Then I read one guy's journal about Dominant Women putting him, a round peg, into all sorts of bizarre shaped holes. Not reinventing the wheel here. Compatibility is first = outside of play and kink BEFORE play, kink and sex occur. Those fuckbois are a hard limit =oh fuck my ass"= that's anal sex. So they want a Kink dispenser ONLY=hard limit for me. Poof their gone. No problem my whips, rope, floggers and amusements will go on another. A whole adult strong submissive man intent on pleasing me, and accepting I am poly and being a grown up about it.

As an enticement Here are two decsriptions that I is did actually did perform and enjoy. That are not requirements, but a reflection of creativity and strength and fun. Perhaps these may motivate your interest   Tale 1 Years ago I was working professionally as a Dominant. My clientele typically were well off, all female, and seeking release from their careers. One in particular was seeking to be very much brought down in a submissive manner so that she could see herself and decide if that submission needed to be part of her life. One weekend, and yes, it was a stormy winter night, I went to her palatial home as arranged. The mood was to be very dark and I was to be dominant and very unyielding. She had only one way out of any situation, that was to ring a bell tied around her hand. That said, she was prepared for depths of dominance...... upon arrival, she was awaiting as instructed. Leather slave harness, well heeled thigh boots and kneeling in the entry way. I asked her if she was prepared and ready... she said yes. I placed my bag down, ball gagged her from behind, and clamped her nipples. She had a fine body and was already aroused. I place a posture collar on her and leashed her and made her follow me to her special room. Over the course of our encounters she had setup her own dungeon in her own place. There I stood her facing me and bound her limbs to the cross tightly. I then roped her to the cross at various points of her body so that her weight could be taken. For the next 2 hrs about, if flogged her, vibed her, made her orgasam at my will, and did what I wanted with her until she collapsed in her bondage. She knew this was the goal. After 2 hrs She was exhausted and emotional.... still though, she was defiant in verbiage to me as I worked with, but I always at all times called her how on her defiance and punished her for it. Seeking to drive her to submission forcibly was the mutual desired goal. In the end she did yield, where upon I released her and made her kneel properly holding by her hair roughly to the position. I removed the gag, and place a tight pvc hood upon her and regagged her with an in mouth penis gag. I then took her to a floor stock where she was bound and restricted at the arms, body, neck. I then plugged her ass with a plug and then placed a lubed fucking machine dildo in her and switched it on..... I told her she had to endure 2 hrs of forced fucking by an unyielding mechanical device or until she admitted she was a worthless cunt that was good only for fucking. This was a trigger phrase for her that she knew if she said it would allow her to descend mentally to the state she wanted to discover...... I sat in a chair and enjoyed controlling the unrelenting machine using her...... Interesting enough she lasted only one hour where upon sweating, and having orgasamed 5 times she begged for mercy and said her phrase and rang the bell in a believable manner. I release her and sat back in the chair an watched. She crawled to me..... rubbing her face against my boots, but pointed to her gag to be removed..... I did, and she at her own initiative said she was now truly a fucktoy, and cumslut slave craving only the release in submission she so desperately wanted..... I permitted her to orally pleasure me to seal the deal in her mind.

FFS people! READ profiles before contacting someone! Yes, my profile lists me as a switch, but that does not mean I want to do anything and everything with everyone. I am looking for a male dominant, and a female slave. I am NOT looking for a male sub for anything other than maybe domestic, manual labour. I am NOT interested in a sissy, CD/TV (unless they fit the aforementioned manual labour bill), FLR, or any form of meaningful "relationship" with a submissive male. As noted in my profile here, my blog profile lists EVERYTHING I am seeking in great detail. READ IT!

As I'm sitting here thoroughly enjoying Metallica Monday on WMMR, it occurs to me to mention something else about my thought process. (See, I told you it was all about me ) In the past, it was common to see "If you favorite me without messaging me first, I will block you" on profiles.  Unfortunately, I'm not particularly quick off the cuff. I turn things over in my mind and rewrite several times before my fingers ever touch a keyboard. One of my solutions to that is to favorite a profile, then let my introduction simmer for a few days so that I can stand out from the inevitable avalanche. At least, standing out as more than another "On Ur KnEeS, bIcH" type is the idea. So that's that. By the way, wasn't The Inevitable Avalanche an obscure X-Men character from the 90's?

My next series of workshops will be at Exxxotica, Chicago  April 11-13! Dont miss my workshops or a chance to meet me!  My next play event is coming up!! Spring Fling and Strapon Things will be held in NJ.  Those interested in further details for these events may respectfully Inquire via message with the first word of your message to read EVENTS.

Master's WritingsCategorizing Levels of SubmissionOthers, in an attempt to categorize submissives, have described submissives by the levels of their submission, moving from role play to slave, while others suggest there are distinct categories of submission, where the motivation behind one’s submission drives their role such as for fantasy, relationship and/or fetish. Acknowledging that all submissives are different and any such categories could only apply in the loosest of terms, I find both model instructive in its own way, yet somehow missing the mark in some aspaspects.The creators of both models clearly identified that each individual submissive is unique and comes to their submission and depth of submission in their own way for their own purpose. And to this, I completely agree. Yet we are humans and we live to label things, so I will offer my own model, recognizing full well that mine too will fall short of describing all submissives and their motivations. I would also note that what I suggest here may have already been put forth. If so, I offer this only as my own ideas without the knowledge of their contribution to our body of knowledge. Thus I would offer a third model for consideration and discussion.I see it more a kin to the structure of Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs, Where Maslow identifies our most basic needs, moving from basic survival to self-actualization, I see submissions moving from role play to self-realization. The model I put forth is as follows:     Role play. A connection to the role based on whatever preconceptions or second hand knowledge they may have. While one might act the part, they have no emotional or mental connection to the role.     Exploration. The beginning stages of submissive awareness where thru trial and error or training, real experiences begin the development of a connection to a submissive’s awareness and one's submissive self. This level usually includes an over indulgence or over compensation of doing what they think a sub "should do".     Connection. The birth of inner connectedness to one’s submissive self, and the realization of what it feels like to give of one’s self to another. Hallmarked by a greater sense of self awareness, a growing identity as a submissive and a struggling to reconcile their submissive life with their vanilla life.     Identity and Belonging. The inner awareness and shift of self-identity as a submissive or having submissive side (as in a switch), as a genuine and acknowledged part of their persona. While they may not share this openly with others, inwardly there is a growing conviction that being a submissive is core to their being. While connection can occur at any stage, at this stage, connection to a Dominant becomes more essential to allow for further growth.     Confidence. As identity as a submissive grows and self-esteem relating to the role increases, their confidence of self grows. The focus can now be more inward to understand their submissive needs, who they are as a submissive, and the beginning of blending their submissive self into their vanilla life and identity.     Self-Realization and Connectedness to their Id. Full acceptance of their new identity, as submission is fully integrated into their sense of self. Submission can now fuel their lives and relationships with greater meaning and richer experiences as they fully integrate their submissive-self into their vanilla life. Not every submissive will reach or choose to reach this level. I would welcome comments and ideas for the improvement of this model if others see value in it. 

I've had the song Imagine in My head for the past several days.  I was going to try and come up with a little diddy to incorporate My thoughts to the melody - it didn't work.  So instead I will just spell it out. Imagine.... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files and was the leader of the free world... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files and was the leader of the free world and I was in the Epstein files... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files and was the leader of the free world and I was in the Epstein files and I had rubbed elbows with My neighbor and with leaders the world over, along their children, relatives, associates, movie stars, heads of corporations.... Now imagine how to go about resloving conflicts globally... Did you say BLACKMAIL?  How i n t e r e s t i n g.   How does a shyster resolve conflicts?  Your guess is as good as Mine, but I can tell you, as a non shyster I use whatever is at My disposal when trying to resolve issues.  So it would make sense that as the President, I would use much within My power to FIX PROBLEMS.  Also, if I were to ALREADY HAVE COMMITED unethical, immoral, illegal acts, and was facing exposure, you can bet your bippy that I am going to LET EVERYONE KNOW THEY ARE COMING DOWN WITH THIS SHIP IF I GO DOWN. So here it is folks, the difference between US AND THEM lay within MORALS, ETHICS AND LEGALITIES. Even if the leader of the free world were working the system to effect positive changes, is BLACKMAIL how you want these things to occur?  Is that okay with YOU?  If you say yes, you are the problem in My book.  If you said no, then VOTE damnit.  Vote for integrity.  Vote for justice.  Vote for morals.  Vote for ethics.  Vote for an example to your children and grandchildren.  Stop idolizing $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Do you have morals and ethics, emotional intelligence?  Does the present leader of the free world represent the morals, ethics and emotional intelligence of you or how you wish your child was, your neighbor, your politician? While on the subject of MORALS/ETHICS/LEGALITITES - lets no forget the subject of ABORTION.   ABORTION IS NOT THE SUBJECT. WOMENS RIGHTS ARE THE SUBJECT. GOD GAVE WOMEN THE HOME AND THE BIOLOGICAL INSTINCT TO NURTURE OURSELVES AND OUR BODIES. THE RIGHT OF ANOTHER LIFE TO GROW WITHIN ME IS NO ONES RIGHT OTHER THAN MINE! NO ONE ELSE GETS TO CHOOSE WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE MY BODY. NO ONE ELSE GETS TO CHOOSE WHAT HAPPENS TO THINGS GROWING INSIDE MY BODY. If a man walks into My house and leaves his luggage.  Possession is 9/10's of the law - I OWN IT! No one gets to DEPOSIT in My home and claim some kind of ownership!!!!  That is f*cking cray cray talking now!  Ya'll must be entirely off your rocker! You come into My body and leave something there, when you go, what remains is MINE.  If you have a problem with that, get in line to talk to GOD about all your issues.  What you cannot do is try and change the laws governing My HUMAN RIGHTS - SOVEREIGNTY OVER MY BODY.  Medicine is coming along way and there are ways for you to reproduce your seed without declaring eminant domain over one of your multiple ejaculations. This subject is such a no brainer. If you have rights over your body shit, then when you give Me herpes, chicken pox, or a cold, I ought to be able to collect on My pain and suffering, time lost from work, etc. This is an easy fix - PRESEX NUPTIALS.  Of course, most men cannot control their selves long enough to engage in rational thought before ejaculation, but... NOT MY PROBLEM. NOT A WOMANS PROBLEM. Just like My emotional roller coaster (monthly) is not your problem, just like My bleeding is not your problem, just like My tampons and sanitary napkins, My motrin, My fibroid tumors, My breast cancer or anything else is NOT YOUR PROBLEM...EITHER IS MY PREGNANCY. Get the fuck over yourself, get your own damn life and get the fuck out of MY BODY.  Yall are control freaks and you will meet your match with women today.  Keep it up.  Keep thinking you have the upper hand.    The only thing you are is a VIOLATOR if you believe you have any place inside MY CUNT.   

Well this is long overdue.  Thank-you to the Domme that reminded me.  My profie is pretty much devoid of meaningful information, and my original intent was to add that here.  Where to start?  Of the things I look for, intelligence and humour are of the utmost importance to me.  Grammar, spelling and punctuation matters, although much is to be forgiven due to this website eats apostrophes and other random punctuation.  Being in Canada, humour is spelt exactly that way.  I may be 62, but I have younger chldren.  My youngest will be 9 shortly and is with me every other week. My eldest is halfway through high-school and is here 100% of the time.  Obviously I therefore cannot relocate for the foreseeable future.  That's enough for the moment.  Good luck to each of you in your quest.

Questions. So many questions. Yet the answers are spares.   He is eager to absorb her wants, desires, needs and emotional bounty hidden inside her.   What makes her tick?  What motivates you to please?  Where is it she will finally call home?  The place where she trusts and lives with every fiber of herself at peace.  Where her soul feels like it's found its long lost companionship in order to make it feel complete. A place where safety, security, loving protection and care are a given and never have to be second guessed.  Those emotions buried so deep within her longing to be shared yet hidden, guarded so well behind the many scars. Her eyes are telling and the roadmap to her life. Filled with betrayal, abandonment, pain and hurt. Yet there is a tiny glimmer still there. One that could easily be overlooked if one were distracted not looking for it. To the untrained eye, which is distracted  by the shell the real being resides in, only beauty is noticed. Missed are the healing needs that require his attention the most. No, its more than a need! It is a desired necessity! One that needs trust and love to be shown before he can hope to heal it. "Allow me a few glimpses inside you please." He whispers. The list of questions is long. The answers provide insight and are lessons to absorb.   Time is not his ally it is his foe. Yet time is what is needed the most. Oh my dear. Why do your answers allude me so? Open the door just a crack and allow my warming light to take a glimpse.

Cookies. I promised several people that, if this adventure happened, I would write it up and share it in my journal. well, it indeed did happen last evening, Saturday, but not exactly as I thought I had it planned.  The set up for this story is that I did some work for a woman living in a over 55 community and only charged her for the material costs which I commonly do when I first work for someone I want them to like the work and not worry about the price. she was very grateful and gave me one of those looks like she was ready to pay me back in a way if you know what I mean and then she said: I'm sure you can think of something that I can do for you and shot me a wicked smile I knew that was my opportunity so I very calmly said: Willl you bake me pecan chocolate chip cookies? She let out what could only be described as a horse laugh, which I'm sure they heard in the adjoining units on either side. and then I followed up with, but that's not all, I want you to bake those cookies naked with 8 inch by heels, fishnet stockings and garter and a bright red ball gag. there was a long pause, kind of like dead air on a radio station and she finally opened her mouth and said you've got to be kidding! I'm not burning my boobs so that you can get off on some weird fetish! And I said OK what about wearing a tight swea and no bra? I expected another flat out no response but she said yes I think I could do that. But I'll also be wearing a skirt, nothing less than that, and no ball gag! And if That isn't good enough then you can go bake your own cookies! While it wasn't what I'd hoped for, I was still going to get my cookies, so on Saturday I came over with the ingredients she told me to get, and I sat in her kitchen, drinking coffee, while she walked back-and-forth across her kitchen in her very tight, white fuzzy sweater, and a very tight short leather skirt, plus stockings and heels, and she was an absolute delight to view. The blush in her cheeks said it all. But the best part was, she was actually baking my cookies! Once they were bagged, she Pulled them from the oven, tucked the tray up under her breasts and she said, would you like a cookie little boy? YES, Yes I would! then I asked so are all those cookies in the tray mine? Or should I ask if everything on the tray is mine? She just smiled and put the tray on the counter. She grabbed me by the hand, pulled me down the hall. We walked into her bedroom and she took off her sweater., God, those were better than any cookies!  We did all sorts of things that evening and late into the night. Considerind we're both in our mid to late 60s, so it wasn't like your first high school sex, in the back of your dad's car, but it was close.  in the morning, I woke up to the sun streaming in on my face lying next to a woman who still had her stockings and garter belt on, my head nestled between her large breasts, one of her arms underneath me,the other around my neck, and I thought to myself.... life is good! Lou  

NEW CRUSH ALERT!!!! Michele Morrone from the 365 days movies   I'm cheating on my Winter Soldier   LOL

Let's seeee.... okay. Ideal setup    Im looking for someone that is 1000% supportive of me and HRT.  I wish to find a place where I can mentally dissolve who I currently am and evolve into a genuine bimbo sissy trans doll. And yes I used sissy and trans in the same sentence. Is it possible.  Yes. Sissy referring to ones submissive girly play toy. And trans doll as in well. Me :). Petite smooth tight body.  Speaking of body. Let's talk about that.  So apparently I have an exotic one of a kind body .... I know right. Hard for me to believe it too :p. Anywho. I'm very very very great full for having it and would love to put it to use where I can generate climaxual pleasure for anyone. What do I mean by this ... well idk to be honest. But I'd like to have gym access and/or an encouraging person that help maintain the motivation to get as sexy and as feminine as I could get.  Minus the bottom surgery. Yes u read right.  Not going to do any cutting off down there. However. I am open to some body modz to a certain extent. Of course nothing deforming or any such thing. (Please don't ask what) if anything asking if I'm open too.. whatever ur kinky desire is. And I'll let u know if I'd be willing.  Anywho. Um so yes. I tend to be a little high on the kinky side.  Which is a very VERY Vague statement. However let's just say. I really really do truly enjoy seeing the satifaction one get from doing/not doing/ treating or being a certain way with me.  Again very vague not trying to get into detail just showing u the willingness I have to satisfy you. Umm so. With that been said.    I seek someone who will take me in own me collar me and use me for their twisted pleasure.  How far am I willing to go. Ask. Me. But it just how far am I willing to go lol. Ask me how do I feel about this or have u done things like that.  What about if we xyz. . But umm okk so yaw.  Truly one of a kind here. Appearley something very very special. An amazing eye candy. Incredibly smart. I credavly capable of achieving ur satifaction :). I like to be told/force. Made to submit my body for ur pleasure lol. Ummm.    Well yawww. Serious inquires please. I'm ready to purchase a round trip ticket to you.  Where towards the end we'll see if I should stay. Or go. No games no bs.  If ur catfish fake poor hugene ethic or manors I will initiate blan b.  I ask please no hard feeling.  We're all chasing that life we have in our mind  .idk if any of this came out the way I inted as in ur understanding but I like to post genuine articles that flow right. Off the top of my head. I feel its more genuine since there is a not much time to contemplate the topic potentially leading to an influenced decision other the my own  thanks for readjng 

Smh at the multitude of bois within 50 miles that approach, engage,  insist they want to meet .. until we set a date and time, then backpedal and postpone or cancel with every excuse in the book .. Sooooo...I'm pretty much at the pt I don't wont cant believe anything anyone idk irl says cyber.   If you are one of the very rare pearls here that does want real-time Ds interactions come meet Me at the munch on Thursday 9 29 at Spins in Peekskill 6:30ish. It's an arcade with a bar in the back. I'm the One with long multicolored hair. .. restaurant upstairs is Fin and Brew if that's easier to goo gle Que sera .. or as history here proves, most likely not We.Shall.See

This profile is severely out dated and with the current way that it takes forever to get your account re approved and reviewed , im worried about loosing contact with amazing people , so im updating here first.     Ok firstly this is no longer a Dominant profile , I gave it a go for a partner but it was not for me .   I much prefer the slave lifestyle and to be owned n controlled , and I very heavily prefer the absolutely sadistic and more intense Experiences all the way around.    I'm seeking  a Hellashish amount of CBT , and would absolutely adore it if I could find an owner or  owners that would want to use me partially or fully as their personal toilet .      Open to.relocation , although it'd have to be a live in , even if out in the barn , type of situation.    I'm very open minded and just want to find a home that will enjoy torturing and hurting the every living bajeebus out of me on a regular , who would benefit from my labors. Skills and dedication of time , energy and life to them.

Those who asking about emotional and mental side, here is the perfect quote from one man. It is not my text, i am too dumb to put it so perfectly Sure, the physical side is niceThat takes up an hour or two a couple of times a week What happens the rest of the time? NothingIt HAS to be mentally and emotionally for me That is based on a connection and need to actually live it every single day of the week Your humiliation and mental and emotional pain and suffering is lived all day, every dayIt becomes the focus of life and is there in everything we doIt is there when we go out, or travelHumiliated in everyway, for anything That can be done all day, every day

Starting the New Year Off Right! We had a lovely, laid back New Year's Eve. I was all ready to snuggle in and fall asleep on Master's chest. He had other plans! Just as I got close he sprang his trap. I quickly found his belt looped around my neck. I was completely at his mercy. He would constrict and loosen it as he played with my clit. I quickly became drenched. However, this did not deter him. He continued on increasing my state of arousal as he choked me. This continued for what seemed like forever, but really was more like a half hour. Finally, he pulled me to my knees and sunk his delicious cock all the way into me from behind. Pulling back on the belt still around my neck he forced me into him as he fucked me. Then he changed positions with him on top and he tightened the belt around my throat as he stroked in and out. The choking intesified my own orgasm as we came together. It was a very Happy New Year!

I find all these profiles wanting subs for training interesting.  Do Dom’s get on here thinking all women are new to the lifestyle when they join a site like this?  They go from a totally vanilla world and think, hey, I am going to do something crazy today, despite never having had a fantasy or desire, or want, I am a blank slate and door mat, I am going to join this site and seek someone to train me to fulfill all of their desires since I have absolutely none of my own… Because let me tell you, that is totally what I was thinking the first time I joined this site, totally…  Facepalm.  Do you really think you can train someone to just service your desires?  Are people really that narcissistic?  All humans have desires and I don’t care if a relationship is D/s M/s or whatever, there are still two people in it and they are both wanting something from it… There is no training, there is learning about each other, and growing together, or ending bitterly… 

I want to be clear...here are my hard limits... Kids Animals Choking Guns Orgies/Gangbangs Swinger type events. I am into the power exchange not group sex Cuckold  Scat Serious Public Humiliation/ Sarcasm/ Degradation/ and/or blackmail Diapers Pacifers Bottles Dont ever call me mom or mommy Age Play Animal Play, no pony or puppy role play either ( can be done at very infrequent times but not for all the time) Sissy play (some femme is ok) Needle Play Tattoos /brands, unless you are collared I won’t tattoo you ... and even then I probably won't.  Blood Play Illegal Drugs and many legal ones Smoking/smoke Untruthfulness Ass to mouth. I will not take things from your ass and expect you to put them in your mouth Death play Vomit Occultism Paranormal things Vampirism Poppers or drugs

Oh this is a good one. Pay attention.  Wake up Drink 1 litre of water (2 glasses) Get out and walk at a steady pace, low intensity for 35-40 minutes Stretch for 10-15 minutes Drink a glass of water, then Eat breakfast, which is most protein. NO CARBS @ Breakfast. Examples: a. 3 egg, ham & cheese omelette  b. Cottage Cheese and 4 slices bacon c. Breakfast sausage and 3 eggs Light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Breakfast. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. About an hour later, Workout if you're going to. Best to do weights & lifting in the morning. Adding resistance 😈 training, increases your lean muscle mass, which in turn burns more body fat. 3-4 hours later, drink a glass of water, then have Lunch. Equal thirds of Protein, Carbs and Fat. Try to get 1 serving/cup of veggies in there. Examples: a. Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and broccoli b. Sandwich with cold cuts, chicken breast, roast beef, or whatever. Get extra tomatoes & lettuce. c. Roasted 1/2 or 1/4 chicken, steamed veggies and a sweet potato, fries, mashed potatoes, rice, hummus & pita, or a side of pasta salad. d. 2 item combo Chinese food: chicken, pork, beef with noodles or rice e. A burrito or wrap: go for the gold and get guacamole, as long as there's a carb, a protein and some sour cream (fat) in there. f. Pizza: the cheese is the fat, the crust is the carb. Now do it up with the protein and veggies. If you're going to have something naughty, do it towards the end of Lunch: a few pieces of chocolate, cake, cookies, soda, donut, you get the idea. Another light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Lunch. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. Mid afternoon snack, IF, and only IF you feel like you need something before dinner. This should be no more than 2 - 3 hours after Lunch. Have a light smoothie vs a "sugary juice." The goal here is: a base of coconut water or milk, AND mixed fruit, AND some deep green leafy vegetables like Kale, Spinach, Celery tops, etc. If you're able to add peanut butter and/or Greek Yogurt to it for the protein, even better! Drink a glass of water about an hour after the smoothie to flush it all through and out of your system. Get on your feet, stay active, do some sort of physical activity after the smoothie for at least 5 - 10 minutes. Dinner, anywhere from 3-5 hours after Lunch. Drink a glass of water before Dinner. The idea here is little to no carbs. Load up on veggies, and have some form of lean and mean protein. Think free range, wild caught, grass fed, etc. A few really good Examples: a. Roasted/Grilled/Pan Seared chicken, fish, beef for pork, AND 2 servings of steamed or baked veggies, or a salad. b. A huge salad, AND add the roasted/grilled protein above to it. c. You could have a Denver Omelette here with lots of veggies if you wanted, AND a nice big salad. d. Salmon/Tuna/Fish with veggies, AND a big salad. Try to be active, get out for an evening walk or bicycle ride, do some sort of low intensity physical activity after dinner for at least 30 minutes. Don't just sit down or plop on the couch. Do something. One big note, try to have and finish dinner at least 4-5 hours before bed. Go to Bed near hungry. After dinner, drink a glass of water every hour for a couple hours if you can. But stop a couple hours before bed, otherwise you'll be waking up to pee all night. Sleeping on an empty (or as close to near empty) stomach is important. This fasted state allows your body to recover, repair damaged cells and get rid of the bad ones. You'll notice better Growth Hormone production while sleeping in this manner, and more sex hormone release (estrogen for women, testosterone for men). Finally, believe it or not, part of the process of vaporizing body fat happens in your sleep, IF you sleep in a fasted state. For use as energy (the process of recovery and repair), your body will convert stored fat into air, that is then expelled out your lungs as you sleep throughout the night. Thanks for your time, and I hope you learned something. 

You want a chase And I'll give you one baby Two can play this game I'll have you coming back  Make me scream your name in bed And afterwards I'll push you away Then I'll sing songs to you and dance for you But you mustn't touch I'll have you crawling back to mate But oh why should I cave in I'll tell you no  And smile as I walk away Want a chase I'll give you one Remember you put me on that pedestal  Now I'll have you begging you didn't Two can play the game giving a way for a chase I'll be your prey in this scene But can you catch me or will I get away?  Darling your making me dangerous like you Touch me and it will burn  Just like you did to me After all we dance in the flames The pain sounds like your name Now I have you begging me asking if you're going insane    

In vanilla terms I seek a single guy, lifestyle submissive, with FiVE years experience in a FLR whilst going out to pubs (munches) and clubs (FemDom fetish clubs) to go out with me in his car that he drives, three times a month, sometimes a little more. Long-term to first go for dinner, drinks and socialise.  When the rapor is there I will give S&m play on his body in a fetish club. (I don't play at home.) I call it the opposite theory.  When I was freshly divorced a few years back and made it clear I only wanted light-hearted fun, guys got upset because I declined a long-term relationship with them. After 20 years of marriage I was allergic to commitment.  As a Poly Dominant Woman, now looking for a single, live-out second guy.( I think seeing a guy a few times a month long-term can be seen as a relationship. Well I do anyway.) Unfortunately no guy who approaches is seeking long-term and I don't play on the first EiGHT meets. Though I like younger guys I am also aware they are not looking for commitment so won't be suitable for what I seek.  

Since adding journal entries won't cause my profile to need re-approval, I'm adding this after reading some of the profiles on the site.   I'm looking for trans Dommes or switches. No men or women unless you're exceptional, sorry, I've been attracted to trans women since 2011 (I was bisexual then). I'm not looking for sub trans girls because being a Domme doesn't really come naturally to me. I can be a Domme for sure, have been for years since it's so hard to find Dommes of both the trans and cis types. I also met too many subs and was interested in cyber RPs a lot then. Not so much anymore unless you're really good, because my tastes have changed over 15 years.   I very rarely chat to couples though I used to meet good ones on Reddit. Maybe 1 so far. It depends on if you're sincerely interested in trans girls or sissies.   I like watching gangbang and reverse gangbang porn, but probaby won't do it IRL. Not even a sissy orgy which I dream about so often. Fantasies and reality should be separate. I want someone exclusive in general, and please don't contact me if you're part of or looking for a poly household. Couples or being part of a throuple (a third wheel, not a fourth), will be very rare if at all and I'd probably be looking for my own lover anyway even if I was part of one, so you might be better off contacting someone who's poly.   I watch cuckold and cuckquean porn, and it'll be most likely a polite no if you're interested in acting out those things IRL. I don't mind acting as the occasional sissy cuck who cleans up a woman after she gets a huge fat cock, or maybe as the trans bull in some situations. Depends on what mood the three of us are in. I also do think of cuckqueaning trans or cis women sometimes, such as tying them up and making them watch me with a younger or sexier chick with bigger tits and an arse. That said, those RPs will probably be for hookups only, and I'd avoid them in general. I don't want to get into a relationship and destroy it with either type of cucking, though if you have strong fantasies about it, we can roleplay it anytime. For example, with dildos, fleshlights, body forms, etc.    If you're a cuckoldress or a polyandrous hotwife/polygamous couple/polygynous Dom, please avoid contacting me unless you understand that no matter what, I won't be completely submissive to you forever or a 'perfect cuckold'. I could be in the bedroom during the RP and Dom if you ask me to have sloppy seconds later, but I won't be exclusive to you at all or a complete slave, unless you can devote yourself to me as a Domme in the exact same way.    I prefer gentle, caring Mommy Dommes instead of heartless and cruel bitch Dommes, though I don't mind some sadistic and humiliating or hurtful RPs if you enjoy them too. I just want a Domme to serve who isn't selfish and all about herself, which seems to be most of them. A Domme is slightly more in charge of the relationship than her sub, but it doesn't mean she ignores and disregards her sub's feelings. Think of the dynamic in the same way as a male Dom who has to take care of his sub as well even if he dominates her, or else she'll find someone else.   If you didn't take note of this in my previous journal entries, please don't contact me at all if you're a pro Domme or expect any sort of tributes and dumb contracts to be signed which only benefit you. I've seen them all and IDC in the slightest about paying to act as if I'm being cared for. Some of you are disappointed in what you find online and IRL, and I don't really blame you because most subs and Dom/mes aren't very good at what they claim to do. It's very frustrating to put in efforts for your relationships or dates and find someone who half-arses it. I get it, but your previous disappointments have nothing to do with me, and vice versa. I've had enough people contact me on here and other social media explaining that a Domme needs tribute to show obedience and that you feel you've wasted enough time putting in efforts for useless subs. It's a joke and a pretty laughable reason. I've heard of enough pseudo-Dommes who ask for money and then vanish without giving a promised video or RP, or the ones who realize that it can be a very easy cash grab and pretend to be exclusive while contacting a million subs to get money up front, and then release nothing or piss-poor quality content. I don't see why my money should go to a user or liar, and I probably have no reason to trust people more than they trust me. We can just keep it mutually beneficial and respectful without exchanging money or false promises, and if that doesn't work out, we move on.   Happy hunting, all.

Looking for permanent companionship.  I am poly and unpartnered currently.  What I am looking for is obedience and full time servitude. I am not a nice person.  If you please me, you will be rewarded.  If you displease me, you will be punished.  None of that bratty punishment.  You will be punished in a way that you genuinely dislike.  If chaining you up and leaving you alone is something that distresses you, that can be your punishment.  If you dislike pain, or public humiliation, or anything really, I will make it happen so you genuinely suffer.  If you want to be playful and want some of these things, just ask at an appropriate time and I will make it happen as long as you have not displeased me. Also looking for genuine hypnosis subjaspects I am not a monster, I am not a nice guy either.

I told her to sleep on the rug next to my bed, i think it was a mistake. She was open vulnerable, tender,  in need of assurance, tenderness not to be push away. Yeah i fuck up i was 26 not an excuse but a reason for my stupidity. she was 33 with two kids, a bubbly  personality with a bit of a mom belly,  hips that she did not recognized and stretch marks that she pretended that was not hers. She was in the wrong body, wrong life, with responsibilities that she resented. I was more than just a good fuck, or s strong hand, i was to dumb to inexperience to know what she needed me to be. I was coming down my high my dick was no longer hard my senses no longer had  a hold of me, she was a mess, sweat, tears and all other liquids was emanating from her. Why did i do the things that i did? and why in the hell did she let me? i was mad at myself for letting that side of me take hold. She was still panting mascara running, with her two hands between her thighs digging in the rub with her hollow eyes peering up at me on the bed. "Stop trying to read me" her breathing was starting to slow down " I'm not" she answered. sweat running down her welted breast mouth slightly agape, her tongue scoop something up from the corner of her mouth as she reach her forehead and pull her greasy, sticky hair back, with both eyes close she moan. Dam she makes it to easy for me. Her other hand reach for the comforter between my legs, i swatted it away, "your sleeping on the floor tonight" her face responded with confusion but her eyes with hurt. I't was suppose to be after care, holding, assurance that she was mine and no ones else. pride, selfishness and ego mix with lust, testosterone is the recipe for beguile stupidity. i can tell that i was scarring her. I toss her a blanket and a pillow of the bed and told her, " go wash your ass.' It was the mixture of coco chanel, sweat, semen, funk me, jell, among's other things that was aggravating  my mood." your mad at me?"  she ask without making eye contact. head down hair covering her face but i knew she was sobbing. Reaching up she grab both of my hands, "you enjoyed this, we both did, you know i wanted this, I need you, don't push me away." Lips quivering along with the rest of her. In her state of panic she look pathetic, weak, "I belong to you and only you" she sniffled. Those emotional tears started moving me. " you've lowered and debased me, I'm no good for anyone else, i'm yours." she poured it on the more she felt me grow. I reach down to the left of her and grab the rope, less then three seconds i had both her wrist loop and tied. shock by my aggression and speed, she wince in pain. In one swift motion i had the rope over the harness on my ceiling. she was on her toes, armed stretched to the ceiling back arch ass out. "Hey man you want us to leave?" said one of the fellows in the living room, "yeah make sure not to forget or leave anything behind." 

SLOW AND EASY   Looking for the strength and depth of penetrative flow   A kiss that melts me and opens the faucet of pleasure and warmth   Your hands run over my body and I feel your intent of premeditated lure   The arch of my body signals you to proceed   Enter I crave you with every breath   Thrusts of euphoria and the pounding of waves allow me to erupt    COME ON SHOW ME MORE!!  

  My story  Where to start ? I like many Tgs, I started at a very young age , i was treated different , family members dressed me in effeminate clothes,  and taught me domestic skills , sewing cooking,  cleaning , serving food and beverage to others. Already trained as a feminine physical submisive by the time I was 6 . I had my first encounter with 2 sisters that lived across the street.  We were playing in their back yard , and they had me get  in a big cardboard box.. Where I grew up backyards were very large and acre or 2 so a backyard seemed immense, and you could be isolated yet still be in the yard . Amy way  they started telling me a story about giant would challange their pray , before they devoured it. As they told the story , they had me strip , to show the spiders I would follow the orders , soon I was in a box naked with the girls holding my clothes . My last test to prove to the spider I should not be devoured would be to stay in the box until they returned . I stayed in the box the rest of the day until it got dark . Then the oldest sister came out and dropped my clothes in the box and told me I could go and one day would make someone very happy. I got dressed and hurried home as fast as I could , but i had missed dinner and it was dark , two rules icouldn't break.  I walked into the house to the waiting belt of my father and the screams and swats of my mother for being late . Though the pain was intense I was used to it , to me this is how parents showed theoir love.  And unknown to me at the time  was about to come next in the new house . Sometimes  I still wonder what happened to the sisters  they moved a few weeks later , and my family  moved a  months later.  

Without a doubt, this site has become somewhat disappointing.  The same people continue to CLAIM that they are seeking an owner, play, or just sex, yet are only haphazardly playing the contact game.    Now to top it off the site webmaster has changed the definition of FEMALE to Feminine adding to the overall confusion for people as myself seeking ONLY HETROSEXUAL contacts - not trans-anything! I don't care how you identify - that's your thing.  I do not and will not shove my cock into a man's asshole!  That's my thing!    So I respectfully ask you who are inclined to list yourself as feminine - at least provide us STRAIT guys seeking a WOMAN a heads up.  To all the natural women posting - if you haven't found your niche after 2-10 years on this site - it's most likely not going to happen, or maybe it's you?  

It amazes me, it really does, of how stupid people on here must think most of us are, they try to insult our integrity,  who we are, what we are about and when they don't get their way ,they start insulting you,  they start using all kinds of nasty language, thinking that is going to actually affect us personally. Opening up an email  as they try to degrade you for their own shortcoming's, with you basically saying no, move on. I have lived this way for over 42 years, almost 43 years and yes, I did that when I was still in the service, I did that when I was still working a job with Uncle Sam. I did all of it at the same time. All without compromising my standards integrity or anyone elses. I  have nothing to f****** prove to anybody. Those who keep playing the games are going to continue to play the games and be more dissatisfied,  as life moves ever foward.  Myself and others like me are going to continue to  build what we do and live the way we do, life goes on.   it is why I require 1st meet up with potential candidates. I require candidates to live by the same standards as I do. Speak the truth br trustworthy,trustworthy, honest even if you have baggage, we all do being upfront no matter means more. You know sooner or later I'll catch you in a lie and once you lie to me,  it neans I can't trust you, if I can't trust you, I'm sure as hell not going to allow anyone else's to put at risk my life, my families life, and those  who are part of what we are about.   I ask simple questions, most never bother to anwser. Those who seek  real BDSM  understand,  it is about being of service not being served. Even those on the owner side of things has Responcibillities. TPE  is pretty simple.  

You know what’s exhausting? Trying to find a cuck who doesn’t think this whole thing is just porn with extra steps. I say I want a cuckold dynamic, and suddenly it’s like a casting call for some low-budget fantasy film—every message is dripping in desperation, humiliation scripts, and requests to be called a “worthless beta” before we’ve even exchanged actual names. Sir, I don’t even know if you can hold a conversation, let alone your composure. I’m not here to be your fetish vending machine. I want a cuck. Not a walking orgasm who calls me “Goddess” and short circuits the minute I say I’ve slept with someone else. I want the real power dynamic. The psychological play. The emotional tension. The devotion. The surrender that goes deeper than a dick pic and a dream. I want a man who’s secure enough to be insecure in front of me—who can handle the ache and arousal of knowing I’ll take what I want, with or without his permission. Someone who craves the emotional weight of being left out, not just the messy details. Where are the men who want to serve and surrender without turning the entire experience into a script from some recycled femdom clip? Can you be still? Can you be present? Can you feel it instead of just stroking to it? That’s what I want,But until then, I guess I’ll keep sifting through the inbox circus. At this rate, I’ll find a real cuck after I find Bigfoot and a man who reads full profiles. one can dream right   

It's been a few years since I was involved in a play party that was worthy sharing. I do live the slave life 24/7 and serve Master James and Mistress Tabitha. With that said the basic flogging, domestic service, run of the mill slave life isn't usually something to write about. Especially when you have been owneed for just over nine years.With that said, I have been commanded to share last  nights play with you.For the first time the BDSM group was invited over to play with me in a new way. The group consists of six Master slave couple and our threesome. All were present.Last night the atendees participated in using me for electricity and pain games.I was tied sprerad eagle in the barn. Standing with my wrists up high and wide over my head. The first game was a two litre enema, I was told to hold it for 30  seconds and there wouuld be no punishment for releasing it at that time. But if I failed I had to take a dop of tobasco on my tongue and thern on my clit. Now, I recieve two litre ebnemas often so this shouildn't be an issue. I take the enema, stand in the middle of the barn and four of the guests put magic wands on my mmost sensative areas. My body jerks but I manage to hold on.10 minutes after I complete my task another enema and this time nine volt batteries with exposed wires are used. As the guests spit on my nippels and cunnie to moisten me before I am zapped I know it's going to be hard to acomplish. I lasted 28 seconds. Instantly a drop of Tobasco is applied to my tongue and clit. I am told to swallow.It's a little hot but nothind serious. I do ok.Next I'm told the my punishment will be a drop of Carolina Reaper on my tongue and clit. Again the enema, this time four commerecial tens units are attached to my breasts and labia, but there is one exception, one of the guests puts a tens pad above and below my belly buton. The shock was horrific and I lasted mere seconds. The carolina reaper sauce set everything on fire. It was hell. It took me almost fourty five minutes to recover.Then came the last test. The last test, was actyually just to  torture me as there was no way in hell anyone could succeed at this point. One o my sister slaves from another Master adminiistered the enema, but this time two of the other slave walked over and kissed me on the cheek and neck whispering that they loved me. One was holding Ghost Pepper in a fluid form and the other a stun gun. My sister started at my clit and gently drew a line upwards towards my belly button. Half way between the two she discharged the stun gun and I lost control.Once again my ball gagg was removed, the ghost peper fluid was dripped onto my tongue and my mouth started to burn in ways I can't even describe. I'm bawling and choking and gagging. Then came the clit drop and I thought I was going to dislocate both shoulders as I fought my restrants. My throat was so closed up by the heat I couldn't scream, I was just ging and choking.Everyone in the barn was laughing and taslking about what a good little cunt I am. When I finally recovered Master walked over, said I had failed and he out a drop og ghost pepper sauce on his finger and slipped it into my ass.I have never complained about a session with my owners or the group before, but this morning I did literally beg then not to do that again. Mistress gave a gentle kiss and told me to rememeber my place and that I had begegd them to use me as they wished over nine years ago.They are good to me, but I fear tyhat I may have overstepped my bounds this morning and that I will pay a price for that in the future.

I don't know when I'll update my main profile, so here's a little about me: I was born in 1974. My hair is much longer than in my pictures here. I rarely initiate contact, but usually respond. I am open to online play, though would love something irl. I will send newer photos upon request. Also: == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Rope bunny  100% Degradee  95% Masochist  95% Submissive  89% Pet  84% Exhibitionist  71% Switch  61% Rigger  60% Degrader  58% Experimentalist  52% Brat  49% Vanilla  46% Voyeur  44% Non-monogamist  42% Slave  42% Ageplayer  41% Sadist  35% Owner  33% Dominant  32% Primal (Prey)  15% Master/Mistress  13% Daddy/Mommy  6% Primal (Hunter)  5% Brat tamer  0% Boy/Girl   

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

Its been a year since I discovered nu-metal. It's spoken to me like no other type of music has...Like as if...I was missing something in my life. My thoughts Is interpreted through the amplifyed speakers. Then, the YouTube algorithm brought KORN in the mix and just went absolutely crunk nutty.   

Possibly not quite "journal"-worthy material... I own eleventy three nail polishes, but am completely incapable of applying them properly - it's the fingertips too, or nothing I loathe my body; being naked Is. The. Worst. I kinda like being embarrassed though, so it's not all doom and gloom... The only sport I will watch willingly is curling (and I'm extra excited when cats get involved) Not really sure I could kiss anyone who actually likes leeks. Maybe if you brush your teeth first. Maybe. I tend to overestimate the amount of time I have to get shit done. Plus. Procrastination. "Bits" in yoghurt are just plain wrong, as is coffee-served-in-a-glass; ffs, what's wrong with you people? I was seriously squicked by episode 9 of Girls, but I still use q-Tips o.O I am a Pinterest failure I'm the clumsiest person I know and my thumbs are not technology-friendly I get trolley rage. And pedestrian rage. Stop. Gathering. In. Doorways! Your logic has no place anywhere near my outrage. Sorry. I loathe my voice ... and my feet I have "water anxiety" - my water bottle must be nearby at all times. *Or*... I'll get thirsty I guess :/ I'm beyond horrified at the thought of something crawling into my ear (either one, I'm not picky).  I'm terrible at board games, but if I don't win it's because YOU cheated  -_- I get extreme food envy - to the extent I will move towards the back of the queue, so I can copy your order I hate the seams in my socks to be crooked; my toes get creeped out I laugh at the pompous I love being complimented on my outfit and I will tell you how much it cost and where I got it in the next breath I tell most people (who don't run quickly) about my grand plan for egg scrunching - minus the cleanup I am "happy" to wait out the last bit of moisturiser in the bottle - time and gravity will defeat you in the end you slimy fucker I adore designing psychometric tools that are both ethically and empirically questionable… Let me classify YOU! (just pm me and I'll pass judgement) I cannot cut in a straight line - as a result my wrapping paper to present ratio is seriously fucked

Apparently it's time for a much needed journal entry, because my inbox is flooded with messages. A lot of nice messages from nice people with whom nice contact has already arisen, but unfortunately there are also a lot of people out there with (sexual) frustrations or worse. To make things clear to everyone who seeks me out to have a chat, if you have an extensive wishlist as to how you would like to be handled, kept or be treated, I am probably not for you. Submission derives from to submit! This essentially means that you follow and submit to Me and I decide where and how I am going to submit you. Being a slave, means to give up ones free will and give up his or her freedom. Eventhough this is in the BDSM way of life and completely voluntary, it does still mean that I get to kick you out to the curbes if you don't uphold our agreement. In other words, we've made a deal. You become my slave and I get to do with you however I please and you get nothing in return. Your reward lies in being My slave. Then a footnote for some nutcase I came across who felt he needed to fill my mailbox with his pedantic little finger. Nobody is forcing you to send me a message, nobody is telling you or forcing you to become my slave (it is a privilage and certainly not one for you to receive). A footnote in general: I literally receive 30 emails an hour. I am not at your disposal, but those who are chosen by me are at my disposal! Very important difference. This means that I will not respond when and how it suits you, but if and when it suits Me! That will do for now. If you reach out, either be polite or f*** off!  To all others, it is fun getting acquainted with you and talk to y'all soon. Greetings Mrs B.

On Jealousy in the Master/slave Dynamic Jealousy is a corrosive force within a Master/slave relationship. It is the enemy of structure, the destroyer of authority, and the betrayer of trust. Where jealousy exists, leadership falters. A Master’s role is to stand as the embodiment of certainty and command, yet jealousy undermines this by planting insecurity where strength should reside. Insecurity breeds suspicion, suspicion breeds resentment, and resentment fractures the very foundation upon which the Master/slave bond is built. A jealous Master ceases to lead with clarity. Instead, he reacts from fear, clouding judgment and weakening authority. The slave, whose role is to serve in confidence and devotion, becomes hesitant. Obedience shifts into caution, and devotion turns to apprehension. A slave cannot flourish under the shadow of jealousy, for it suffocates the freedom of surrender and replaces it with doubt. This is why jealousy cannot be tolerated—it disrupts the natural order and erodes the respect upon which all dominance rests. Furthermore, jealousy is weakness exposed. A Master must be the anchor, the standard, and the pillar of certainty. To be consumed by envy is to show the slave that his authority has cracks. When a slave perceives these cracks, reverence diminishes, and the Master’s position is compromised. Authority that bends to jealousy is no true authority—it is performance without substance. A Master ruled by such impulses becomes no more than an equal to his slave, which destroys the hierarchy. Correcting Jealousy The cure for jealousy lies in discipline, self-mastery, and reinforcement of order. Several steps must be taken: Uncompromising Honesty – Communication must be enforced. A Master must demand full truth from his slave and give unclouded truth in return. Jealousy thrives in silence and shadows; it dies when exposed to the light of direct speech. Reinforcement of Structure – Protocols, rituals, and rules must be upheld without compromise. When order is maintained with precision, the framework leaves no room for insecurity to grow. Clarity in expectations eliminates confusion, and clarity weakens jealousy’s hold. Practice of Self-Mastery – A Master must control himself before he can hope to control another. Jealous impulses must be recognized, acknowledged, and dismissed without indulgence. This requires discipline, reflection, and the will to remain above base instincts. Methods such as journaling, meditation, or ritualized reflection may be employed to strengthen the mind. Seeking Counsel – A wise Master does not fear counsel. Speaking with experienced Dominants or mentors provides grounding and perspective. No Master diminishes himself by learning; he diminishes himself only by refusing to correct weakness. Commitment to Strength – A Master must remember at all times that jealousy is beneath him. It is weakness, and weakness cannot lead. The slave must see strength that does not waver, for respect and obedience are born only from confidence in the Master’s unshakable command. Final Teaching Understand this: jealousy is incompatible with mastery. It is a betrayal of the title “Master” itself. Where jealousy reigns, authority is false, and leadership is hollow. Only through discipline, honesty, and unyielding strength can jealousy be eradicated. A true Master confronts it, defeats it, and stands as the anchor his slave requires. Let it be known: a jealous Master is unfit to lead until he masters himself.

i am pretty sure he's done with me.  No idea how I'm going to get through this feeling of failure.  I don't think I possess the ability to move on.  He owns every part of me. My thoughts are wrapped around him, our interactions, our love.  I don't surrender temporarily. I don't quit just because things get hard. I never have.  But somehow I'm supposed to quit him? Quit us? And just carry on? The very thought is viscerally painful.  I miss him. He still won't talk to me. Not even to tell me one way or the other.  On FetLife he's still listed on my profile. I suggested he remove it if he was done with me, that it would give him a way of telling me without the need for direct contact, if that's what he wanted. He is still listed.  All I know is, it's going to take the death of hope to let him go. 

5 Traits Dominants Are Looking For In a Submissive YMMV: It's important to note that all relationships and personal preferences vary greatly among individuals. However, here are five qualities most Dominants are looking for in a D/s relationship: Trustworthiness: Dominant individuals often value trust as a fundamental aspect of their relationship. They seek a submissive partner who is reliable, honest, and can be trusted to communicate openly and honestly about their desires, needs, and boundaries. Respect and obedience: Dominant individuals typically look for a submissive partner who respaspects their authority and is willing to obey their instructions within the agreed-upon boundaries of the relationship. This involves a mutual understanding and clear communication about limits and consent. Subservience: Dominant individuals may desire a submissive partner who enjoys fulfilling their needs and desires, and who derives pleasure from serving and pleasing them. This can manifest in various ways, such as performing acts of service, physical or emotional intimacy, or engaging in specific power dynamics. Communication and responsiveness: Dominant individuals value a submissive partner who is attentive and responsive to their guidance and instructions. They may appreciate a partner who actively communicates their thoughts, feelings, and desires, allowing for a better understanding of each other's needs and preferences. Vulnerability and surrender: Dominant individuals often seek a partner who is willing to surrender control and be vulnerable within the established boundaries of their dynamic. This can involve the submissive partner relinquishing decision-making authority to the dominant and finding pleasure or fulfillment in their submission. Finally, it's worth mentioning that any relationship involving dominance and submission should always be consensual, built on trust, and characterized by clear communication. Both partners should have a mutual understanding of boundaries, desires, and consent, and should prioritize each other's emotional and physical well-being. Consent and respect should always be the foundation of any healthy relationship dynamic. "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero.  

WARNING:  POLITICAL RACIST SEXIST DEFAMATORY PROFANE STATEMENTS FOLLOW!   Keep OUR laws off of MY body. Or be prepared for US to start making laws for YOUR body. The only reason why it is not the law of this land that a woman may do with her body as she sees fit, is because MEN do not stand up for our rights as WOMEN.  Don’t play games with Me and tell Me you are all about respect for women and women’s rights and you LOVE AND WORSHIP women and then tell us we don’t have what if farking takes to govern our own bodies!  Bloody hypocrites! Don’t tell Me it is the politicians, women, men, or any other such thing which makes the law so.  It is because of YOU and your primitive mind set and ideologies which remove My Sovereignty over My body.  I’m an independent.  I am prolife and prochoice, when it makes sense and does not infringe on another free person’s rights.  You don’t get to choose what is right for My body.  You and the law HAVE NO BUSINESS IN OR ON MY CUNT!  God gave this Power to women.  We are made for it and with this God gave us the ability to deal with this Power – without Men.  Just like Men are given their own Power and the tools to appropriately deal with it. Now, if you continue to come after My body and My rights, be prepared for Me to come after you and your body parts. Any sexual or domestic offense committed by a male against a female, automatic SNIP SNIP!  You don’t want Me playing around with your cock and balls without consent?  Then STAY OFF OF MY DICK! Men competing in Olympics, or women’s sports.  This is a no brainer people.  We are a tad more civilized than legalizing and celebration of the beating of women.  Come on!

In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below.   We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie, In Flanders fields.   Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields.   John McCrae 1872–1918

Maybe God puts someone in your life to figure yourself out, Having a slave for the household would be a dream, but it takes weeks for even each other to see each other. unless their pussies and play the get some mmm and get out game? but let me tell you. I am 36 years old and i was on here on Collarme, I remember the hours at nights where I chat with Doms, Sirs, subs, females males, and just fascinated. Yes my husband and i have hit a really hard time but maybe me taking the time to find a slave would be ideal and let him do his shit while we try to work on marraige, now a lot of you would say NO Go work on that, but see that was the trouble, I tried to do everything I can not anymore. I dont have time to take years to get to know somoeone who wants a Domme, who is kind loving and pushing toward wanting someone who is along those lines but also wants some humilation and and punishment when needed. Dream to live in the country with my household and look onto the mountains and grow old and have my slave or slaves male or female service my household. I can not tell the future, but someone will grow to love this chit Chatty Domme who Loves to be called Misses and Mistress when it suits her, the driffrence is in the words slaves. Also TPE is a must and be prepared to use your mouth. and your hands.  Mistress Nat

Fun keywords to try typing into Craiyon website for AI generated.. I was going to upload to profile just for fun but sadly there is less and less that one is allowed to include there, it seems, even though AI is not a copyright-owning person. I've been G rated in my efforts in the past but just tried:   kinky spanking party   Got some amusing, low resolution but cute, rooms of  what looks like bodies in lingerie..Not bad. I suspect something v explicit like words for sex acts like f*cking would be disallowed but this three word prompt worked. Let's see if    kinky party spanking gets something very different.Hmm not bad. Try posting your own if there's a way to post here on CS You can add terms like "illustration", "photorealistic", "high definition" in Craiyon. Well Erotic Spanking High Resolution is more comical like the other fails of this rather small AI model.. Try Illustration instead of High Definition Higher Res text to image AI models, which I haven't tried are Midjourney, and Stable Diffusion (just found article online called Top Image Generators to Try Apart from DALL-E and Midjourney that lists others I haven't even heart of) These are much higher resolution than the sort of toy model that is at the Craiyon website, which is DALL-E Mini as opposed to the full DALL-E, or these other fancy ones that need registration I think most of them do at least By 2030, watch out, maybe indistinguishable from Adult Film pics or vids. Strange but interesting times ahead

7/30/2024 7:35:16 PM Well, well, well... A very deep and sometimes disturbing subject indeed!   I've had the need to take some time off.  I've been duped and while it is hard to admit that a woman of My age and intellect has been bamboozeled, I'm comforted knowing that this type of thing happens to many of us, most especially when we are vulnerable due to life circumstances or state of mind and that I shall be wiser for the game played.     While undertaking the supreme challenge of finding a right sub for Myself, I happened upon the GREATEST ONLINE MINDFUCKER that ever was and I discovered he has been playing around here and Fet for over 20 plus years and at least 39 profiles on CollarSpace to date!!!   VICTORY!  I finally was able to find them out though I must say I was led on a not-so-merry chase full of intrigue and suspense, aliens, judges, the government, medical organizations and secret societies! LOL  It takes all sorts.   After all, I have to laugh at Myself and how vulnerable My state of mind must be to have gone down that rabbit hole. I would not change the knowledge gained through the experience though I am seriously butt sore.   NEEDLESS TO SAY, ANY DOMINANT SLAVE OR SUB MAN READING THIS WILL PROVE YOURSELF OR PASS ME BY.   I have a phone, pictures, telegraph, google chat, skype and every other possible means of communication and verification including but not limited to a car! We chat, we verify, we meet or part.  

Winners and losers can often be distinguished by their propensity to take action and their inclination to serve others. Winners are those who recognize opportunities and are willing to step out of their comfort zones to seize them. They understand that success requires effort, resilience, and a proactive attitude. Winners don't shy away from challenges; they face them head-on and learn from their experiences. Moreover, winners often find fulfillment in helping others achieve their goals, knowing that service enriches both their lives and the lives of those they assist. In contrast, losers tend to be more passive, often waiting for the perfect moment or fearing the risks associated with action. They may have great ideas and potential but lack the drive to bring them to fruition. This hesitation and inertia often lead to missed opportunities and regret. Additionally, a lack of willingness to serve others can limit their growth and connection with the broader community. Ultimately, the difference between winners and losers lies in the willingness to act decisively, persistently pursue their goals, and contribute positively to the lives of others.

After years of being in D/s relationships, I've come to realize that I am just not capable of equality in 'vanilla relationship'. I gave it a shot but discovered how unfulfilled, frustrated and dispirted I became when engaged in a relationship with a partner as 'equals'. Dispite attempting to gravitate away from any D/s aspect within a relationship, my natural instincts and habitual tendencies always found a way to emerge subconsciously without my realization. My inner desire would have me doing things that used to be commonplace as a domestic slave but were highly discouraged during my attempts with 'vanilla relationships'. My therapist believed I subconsciously believe I am not worthy of love, but I disagree entirely. My love for submission, service and dedicating my every waking moment in pursuit of another individual's happiness is love on a different scale. She says that's just obsession and addiction, I told her she didn't know what happiness and life is about. I explained how in my relationships in D/s, happiness is a product of my devotion, loyalty and making my owner's life simpler, less stressful and more fulfilling in all aspaspects, which directly impacts my happiness. Because of this mantra, I compared serveral situations within a D/s relationship compared to a vanilla relationship. I discussed the difference in communication, expectations, and how shared responsibilities can foster underlying resentment. Then as a final point I looked to civilization's history and explained how up until the 1960's, culturally women were expected to be submissive to their men, remain in the home, be seen but not heard, cook, clean, provide sexual pleasure rather than receive it all while putting on a smile and looking good. I explained that in a nutshell, those general principles are some of the basic things I crave in any relationship. I genuinely receive pleasure from making othera happy in any capacity. I then asked her if her husband evokes even a percent of those qualitie.......I told her no response IS a response, thanked her for out final session and exited the room.  So to sum things up, I'm back here again in hope to find someone with similar values, aspirations and ambitions in life. It's always darkest before the light.

It was a typical Saturday morning. The normal routine of getting showered clothed and ready for a morning date with “A” at the local coffee shop. The brisk cooler weather was a welcoming site after the warmer summer we had. The bustling streets seemed more packed than normal. “A” smiled as we walked along the narrow streets and windows of the shops. The vibrant colors of the latest fall fashions luring us into each store. Pretty tops and long flowing dresses and skirts. “A” took my hand and with a big smile led me into the packed store. Making small talk as she danced around each display finger tips dancing across the fabric. Making jokes and comments with her to pick all ready through the door. “A” finally opened the door peer her head out and looking to the sides to make sure no one was watching.

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