8/22/23   Didn't know could post again...my my....my writing is elsewhere all of it but feeling shy here....i will have to pick a poem.   The choice was random.   It is heavy,  this life: A mountain  Won't move. The sun burns. Carrion feeds Vulture needs. Somehow we go: Wings grow, Living show Of how we know What we sow.  Waves come crashing: Moon shadow Pulls and pushes, Half or full, The tide hits Ebb or flow, Force let's go... We stand  Together And alone, We stand  As One And two, We stand Because  We can... We stand On land Even though Life hits hard, We stand...we stand... We stand, A Muse, And a Bard, We stand, Unable To sink In this crisis  Of quicksand.    August 2023 zamarra

I am a 48 year old transgender sissy slave.. I am from Denmark but I can relocate for the right person..  I am single, unowned, no kids, no friends, no family that will miss me, the perfect victim.. I am educated as an ITsupporter but I am unemployed at the moment.  I am looking for total and real slavery.. I am looking to be fully owned and controlled with no rights, no freedom, no escape, no hope, no mercy, becoming brainwashed, broken down, humiliated, degraded into deep slavery fearing what comes next, when is the next beating, when is the next rape, what is the next sick perverted thing done to me.. Always living in chains or in some sort of bondage, staying locked away in a pitch black cell and/or cage, maybe for weeks at a time.. I am just a worthless disgusting pig, a toy, a fuck doll, a rape victim waiting to get beat up and raped on a daily basis, violently abused, a piece of meat, a possion, property who Master can do with as he pleases.. I am a big nothing who is waiting to serve in anyway I can.. Limits are limited to dismemberment, death no pulling out teeth or nails, no broken bones, kicks to the face and try to limit fists to the face, but in the heat of the moment, shit happens..  

I met a Dom on Fet Life who has been keeping me in line the last few weeks. He is not a nice person. I don't really like Him, but as a Dom and potential Master, He is exactly what I need. I've been processing this phenomenon, putting much thought into why I respond to Him so well as a Dom, even though I wouldn't choose to spend time with Him otherwise (and I'm sure it's mutual). I cannot count the number of Doms, Masters, Gods, Slave Owners, etc. that I've met both online and in person who seem unwilling or incapable of issuing an order or command. I tend to follow orders. If I don't receive any, I assume the Dom is uninterested and I move on. Aftter all, it is my job to follow orders, not to issue them. The Man that I am currently serving does not have this problem. I obey all His orders without question, even those I don't want to. It's not my job to choose which orders to follow. If you identify as a slave and you're having trouble attracting potential Masters, maybe you should take a look at your profile and count how many times "me" or "I" appear in your text. Then skim your profile for anything that would tell a potential Master what you could do for Him. Learn much?

I’ve been reflecting on past dynamics—especially the ones that carried intensity, structure, and a deep psychological connection. And over time, something became clear to me. Some lost sight of the purpose. They became more focused on punishment than on presence. More attached to the feeling of correction than to the act of truly serving. The dynamic shifted away from alignment… and into fixation. And that’s not what I want to cultivate. Because my role, the way I see it, is not to break men down or leave them in a constant state of need. It’s to guide. To shape. To bring them into alignment with something greater than themselves. That’s where my philosophy of Goddess and matriarchy truly lives. A feminine-centered dynamic, at its highest form, is not about chaos or control for its own sake. It’s about order, intention, and a quiet kind of authority that creates structure others can settle into. Within that structure, the masculine doesn’t disappear—it finds its place. It becomes supportive, focused, and purposeful. That’s where devotion becomes meaningful. Not in desperation. Not in obsession with punishment. But in awareness. In learning how to show up consistently.In understanding how to listen, how to respond, how to serve in a way that actually contributes to something whole. I won’t define what this looks like for everyone. But for me… it has never been about destruction. It’s about refinement. Guidance. And creating a space where submission is not just felt—but lived with clarity, balance, and intention. That is where something truly divine begins to take shape. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

Building an authentic M/s relationship takes time. It starts with conversation. Open and honest about what things mean, experiences, expectations, and more. How else would we determine if we are good for each other. Then, it takes a leap of faith from both of us. I've been surprised by a "slave" who was so rude and so standoffish. I get I am not for everyone just as not everyone will be a good match for Me. But still... kindness is for everyone.  I am not a wannabe. Nor am I just a thirsty boy looking for sex. Sex will be a great part of our dynamic but it's not what drives Me. I've lived this life authentic for many many years. I seek that 24/7 TAT/TPE again.  That likely starts on line and then moves to calls and visits. I am not here to scam you, lead you on, have you send pics, or wank off to you on skype. Not My thing at all. I am old school. you'll always be treated with respect. Being in charge doesn't equate to mean or disrespectful.  Just about every ex or ex play partner will have good things to say about Me. One was a compulsive liar who turned nasty. A few of them would love for Me to collar them again. you will not be disappointed with Me if you are truly seeking a deep D/s or M/s bond and relationship.  I am still in Grand Rapids while I look at places to relocate to. I'll buy a house and settle in wherever that leads Me to. I hope you'll take a leap of faith. MT

        Here is a slightly updated profile for me, while I work on submiting the final one in for approval: Looking for sub or slave, rope bunny degradee type girl that likes spankings, for serious long term relationship.Some of my favorite kinky things are giving spankings with my bare hand, riding crops, floggers, canes and paddles, impact play in general, along with rope and restraint play. You should probably like those things too. Some rougher things I like are heavy impact play, face fucking til they puke (but not required), face slapping, knife play, degradation giving, spitting, and peeing on you occasionally (maybe while tied to a tree).I can host and play casually / socially, but ideally I find a long term partner to live together with at some point. I can supply room and board at minimum for my sub/slave if needed, (if you're into living arrangements). Feel free to have your own life as well though.. You would be mainly in charge of some simple chores and taking care of some needs, we can both work on having a wonderful life and achieving our goals.Im a dominant Fox at heart. There will be days you have to take care of me in return. I am a very sensual and sensitive person but also a hard handed when I need to be kind of person. respect and love always. Vanilla life: I have a college degree and a place to live. I drive. I like to cook, bbq grill in the summer. I like to hike and explore new places (you should like outdoor play), ride dirt bikes, go to drive in movies and out to events sometimes and dressing up for Halloween! I like cute date things, let me take you out and show you off to the world.? I play instruments and make music as well, I also like to paint. Creativity is Key. If you are into rubber/Latex fashions thats a plus. Let me buy you outfits to wear as a reward.?thank you for reading.        

110224 The gall of the so called experienced male domestic household servant types - more often then not seeking their next victim for exploitation.  They play to anothers desires, and build a repetiore of information on the women of CollarSpace.  Women tend to be sharing types and often give personal information about family, friends, work, pictures, personal tastes, you name it, and those parasites - they seek it and FEED OFF of it. It is a dangerous person who asks without giving, seeks without meaning, uses for their own desires and has no ability or intention of follow through.  Deception at their core. They leave a bad taste in ones mouth and give good, well intentioned men a harder time of it. When you think of a man here who has literally thousands of screen names - just popping off down the list of his many names, daily, monthly, whatever, in every state, every country, COUNTLESS IDENTIES, throwing out a line to this woman and that, all around the world, gathering sensitive information - critical I imagine sometimes - it is frightful to think of the power this person holds behind the scenes.  Who is he?  Who does he associate with?  How does he use this information?  It would be great to think his antics here are for amusement only, but I can assure you there is nothing amusing about being duped.  There is nothing amusing about someone sharing intimately, gaining your trust, building false beliefs in them.  Nothing amusing about a man submitting himself to you through your desires and through your need.  Imagine a man who says, "hey your mother has Alzheimer's and I have personal and meaningful connections with people who can help - I can help - If you permit Me to serve you to the best of My ability, I will help care for and provide for the well being of your dying parent."  I know - if it sounds to good to be true, then it is.  Still, when you are in the thick of confusion and the unknown, that is when these parasites go in for the kill! WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT?  iS THIS ANOTHER FORM OF EDGE PLAY TO BE EXPECTED IN THESE PARTS?   It is lying, it is fraud, it is deceit at its basest level and it is promoted here thorugh this medium.  I enjoy CollarSpace - I really do appreciate the opportunity which is afforded in order to meet people of similiar mind.  I am grateful for the men I have met who continue to add joy and benefit to My life.  I don't know how to fix this aspect - the preying aspect - the illness which spreads and infects. It is unfortunate that sad lost souls such as this british parasite continue to use this as a feeding ground for their sorry existence and thus I shall continue to attempt to educate others here.  I am a formidable woman and the likes of this cockroach wont undo Me, but I do feel for My sisters and brothers deserve better. Dont we do that which we do to feel better, to give and take more, but where is the ethics behind using another person, AGAINST THEIR WILL?  

  A touch A kiss I didn’t know such passion could exist   A faint glow A little light A fire is now blazing in the night   A growl A grip A forward thrust of the hip   A whimper A moan A screaming of your name   A touch A kiss I didn’t know such passion could exist  

Question: I would be interested to hear about your journeys and how you navigated finding your D/s type. ANSWER: In my experience, it can be an occasionally rewarding, but largely difficult and frustrating journey. But then I guess a lot depends on who you are (I mean, really are as a person and what you expect/seek). At its best is more honest and intimate than anything else I know, but then it can also be hugely intolerant and judgemental too - something of an irony to my mind. There is such a broad spectrum of interests and needs that simple labels - no matter how many there are - are not sufficient. Unless you identify as a victim and ride like flotsam on the tides of kink, it is important to know yourself. If you don't know you, how do you expect anyone else to?? Mine has been a long journey, the most recent insight being that I am an empath, albeit an unusual one. Knowing this now makes so much sense of things in past, both in BDSM and vanilla life. But I know I am still processing it all and have a way to go. I will leave you with two thoughts: Through BDSM, one is made aware of who one truly is. This may not be who they thought they were, who they want to be or even who they think they should be, but it will be them. (and more controversial) Everyone (dominants and submissives) is damaged in some way - not always obviously and often not admitted even to themselves - and this will have bearing on how they contribute to and what they take from BDSM. The links are not simple linear ones, but they are always there. Understanding one's own damage is healthy. Understanding the damage of a potential partner is enlightening. And finally, when you find a place, however brief, you will feel with intensity and know what it is to be alive!

Let’s stir it up: if pegging the untimate submissive or just kinky play Do you think it’s:• A way to explore masculinity in a new light?• A form of psychological and physical domination?• Just hot ass play and we’re all overthinking it?• Still too taboo for most men to admit they want? For those who get pegged…What really goes through your mind when she straps in and tells you to present yourself? For the the curious guys…What’s stopping you from trying it (or asking for it)? Let’s hear it — the messy truths, the bold takes, the confessions, the horror stories.Is pegging overrated? Underrated? Or secretly the gateway drug to the best sex you’ve never had

Master's WritingsCategorizing Levels of SubmissionOthers, in an attempt to categorize submissives, have described submissives by the levels of their submission, moving from role play to slave, while others suggest there are distinct categories of submission, where the motivation behind one’s submission drives their role such as for fantasy, relationship and/or fetish. Acknowledging that all submissives are different and any such categories could only apply in the loosest of terms, I find both model instructive in its own way, yet somehow missing the mark in some aspaspects.The creators of both models clearly identified that each individual submissive is unique and comes to their submission and depth of submission in their own way for their own purpose. And to this, I completely agree. Yet we are humans and we live to label things, so I will offer my own model, recognizing full well that mine too will fall short of describing all submissives and their motivations. I would also note that what I suggest here may have already been put forth. If so, I offer this only as my own ideas without the knowledge of their contribution to our body of knowledge. Thus I would offer a third model for consideration and discussion.I see it more a kin to the structure of Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs, Where Maslow identifies our most basic needs, moving from basic survival to self-actualization, I see submissions moving from role play to self-realization. The model I put forth is as follows:     Role play. A connection to the role based on whatever preconceptions or second hand knowledge they may have. While one might act the part, they have no emotional or mental connection to the role.     Exploration. The beginning stages of submissive awareness where thru trial and error or training, real experiences begin the development of a connection to a submissive’s awareness and one's submissive self. This level usually includes an over indulgence or over compensation of doing what they think a sub "should do".     Connection. The birth of inner connectedness to one’s submissive self, and the realization of what it feels like to give of one’s self to another. Hallmarked by a greater sense of self awareness, a growing identity as a submissive and a struggling to reconcile their submissive life with their vanilla life.     Identity and Belonging. The inner awareness and shift of self-identity as a submissive or having submissive side (as in a switch), as a genuine and acknowledged part of their persona. While they may not share this openly with others, inwardly there is a growing conviction that being a submissive is core to their being. While connection can occur at any stage, at this stage, connection to a Dominant becomes more essential to allow for further growth.     Confidence. As identity as a submissive grows and self-esteem relating to the role increases, their confidence of self grows. The focus can now be more inward to understand their submissive needs, who they are as a submissive, and the beginning of blending their submissive self into their vanilla life and identity.     Self-Realization and Connectedness to their Id. Full acceptance of their new identity, as submission is fully integrated into their sense of self. Submission can now fuel their lives and relationships with greater meaning and richer experiences as they fully integrate their submissive-self into their vanilla life. Not every submissive will reach or choose to reach this level. I would welcome comments and ideas for the improvement of this model if others see value in it. 

The stick shift was prominent and imposing. He knew what to do and eased it into gear. She sat turned towards him. With her left hand she softly gripped the back of his neck. With her right hand she started to unbutton his shirt.   Her attitude and demeanor softened as she directed him to drive off into the night. Not given an address, turns we’re made on her instructions. Right here, left there at the next light.   After what seemed like an eternity he was instructed to pull up a ramp to a townhouse garage and as if by magic the garage door opened and closed behind them. Mindful of carbon monoxide, he shut off the motor. The two sat for a moment in the dark both the garage door light and the interior dome lights having timed out.   Her left hand now gripped the back of his neck firmly with authority and she made her demands.   She told him he had a choice. He had to decide immediately. Get out and leave. Walk away and forget tonight ever happened, or go around and open her door with the understanding that he was surrendering his will and body to her.   He stuttered, fumbled his words and choked out an acceptance of her demands. The door opened, he helped her to her feet and she produced a latch key. From a cabinet hung on the garage wall she retrieved a black leather hood. She ordered him to put it over his head. Once in place, he realized it eye holes were covered and a rubber mouth piece similar to a scuba diving hose was forced into his mouth. She laced it tightly and he heard  a lock click around his neck. Swiftly she slid off both his jacket and shirt together. Bare chested he felt the chill of the room as she pulled his wrists behind his back and heard the handcuffs ratchet closed. She put her hands around him from behind and fondled his breasts and pinched his nipples. A low grunt escaped through the mouth piece. He could breathe freely by nose and mouth through openings designed for that purpose.

  New Year After a brief discussion this morning we have agreed on a few things to try and get the most out of 2023. wearing my daily collar more often (as permitted by job, etc) more butt plugs less underwear more outfits with access when home more use of the belt more opportunities for us to explore with others Happy New Year!

Dos nuevas publicaciones en mi blog y otra que no es nueva pero está vigente para esta época:  Juguemos, pero, ¿quién paga los juguetes? ¡Qué semana tan interesante!   Esta publicación sobre cómo iniciar una relación Femdom tiene ya dos años, pero sigue tan vigente como el primer día. Como siempre, dar like, comentar, compartir: Recomendación para empezar el año… ¡y una relación Femdom!

Be passionate about the Lord Jesus. Be fervent in spirit. Celebrate one another's victories and build up each other. Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. If one part suffers everyone suffers with it. If it is honored so will everyone be honored. This world is charming with all of its shiny fun things but we cannot love this world. This world is a dying world headed straight for destruction along with everything in it. Since Christ suffered we will suffer too not because he doesn't care but because being a member of Christ means this world and the ruler of it hates you just like it hated Him. Christ did not come to take us out of the world. The world belongs to us. The world doesn't belong to the ruler of it currently and for that reason those in Christ suffer. There is a limit on what the ruler of this world can do. He can kill the body but not the soul. What has come onto you is nothing new that others have not gone through. We all have history. We all have a story. This is why community is so important, we can help each other bear the burdens and trials placed on us. Two is better than one and when two or more are gathered in Christ's name he is with them. Christ will never leave you. There is nothing that can separate you from his love. Nothing. Also remember Christ is seated at the right hand of his Father. He is honored and those in Christ whether they live or die will share in the honor in the new world. Live for the approval of God and not for the approval of man. By doing this, you set yourself up for a happy life filled with rewards from God whether you receive them here or the next life is up to him. But know you are blessed in Christ. He will care for you. You will face trials and tribulations here but take heart your creator has overcome the world. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom. Wisdom is supreme and with all you receive of it gain understanding. If any of you lack wisdom ask God and he will give it to you. Wisdom is better than gold and in its right hand is long life and in its left hand are riches and honor. Change your life today. Read the gospels and letters. Read them and obey them. Don't bombard yourself. Take it slow. One change is better than no change. And one change often leads to more change. Open your heart to God. Allow Jesus to work in you. Sure it might feel messy. You might cry. You might feel torn down. But Jesus is the potter and all he's doing is making you into a new vessel to hold what he wants to pour into you. Yes healing takes time and honestly God/Jesus they don't work inside of time. They are eternal. Learning, growing, changing it's something we are always gonna do. There's so much to learn. There's so much to experience outside of this shitty world. Please go to Jesus. Please come inside. He's waiting for you ready to talk. Ready to take your hand and walk you through all the good, bad, and ugly. He doesn't run away when you're messy. He stays. He will always be with you. He's your Rock. Your Defender. Your protection. Your best friend. He cares and he wants a relationship with you. 

Just Like This ..... Where'd you wanna go? How much you wanna risk? I'm not looking for somebody With some superhuman gifts Some superhero Some fairytale bliss Just something I can turn to Somebody I can kiss I want something just like this...

Phallic Masturbation (Solo) Much of Phallic worship in the West begins with mansturbation  and the misunderstanding  of it at best. Males are made to view their phallus as a source of pride and also shame. Males are made to hide under the pretense of modesty that which nature adorned him with to be the glory of the world. Excitement by itself has been viewed with contempt, disgust, and rejection albeit in public. Nature is full of the glory of phallus and it is the male prerogative to show it in all species except Homo Sapiens. Western societies cannot find a clear cut  (no puede n intended) view of the phallus since it admires it and fears it at the same time. However, those of us who had the fortune of being initiated at an early age in the mysteries of maleness and how to achieve and give pleasure know better. The phallus gives pleasure indistinct of gender, but there is always a dominant preference. The giving and receiving of pleasure through and by the phallus is the aim of these thoughts. When the phallus and the worshiper are giving ritual pleasure is a different scenario to when one is alone. With another male in this case the center is the phallus, its glory, its power to penetrate, expand, and pulsate with life inside the one receiving it. However what happens when we are alone? Are we lost since there is no one to direct our power and mystic union? Not at all. Ritual mansturbation is a beautiful event in and on itself.  The aim is not to ejaculate but to allow the phallus to grow and expand in your hands as you caress and anoints it with appropriate oils and substances that show you devotion. I prefer honey, sweet almond oil, and myrrh. Begin with the testicles, and feel their presence and see them as the repository of power and maleness. Feel each one as you use the oils to enhance the experience. Warming the oils make a more profound effect by allowing the aroma of the oils and your own male scent to rise to your nose. Intoxicate yourself with the aroma and know that it is the same aroma inhaled by those who worship your phallus. Own it, you are as distinct as any other male. As you enjoy your testes move to the shaft and do the same, let the oil, precum, your sweat and your scent intoxicate you. This is not the time for stroking is the time for touching and feeling as my dad taught me. Feel the veins, the skin (if you are uncut, do not retract yet) the shape and feel the unity of the testes and the phallus. Caress as you anoint, smell as you reach the tip and taste your hands; that is your scent signature. That signature is the one anyone who had you keeps in his brain and soul own and know that. Stop, rest, allow you phallus to relax and now begin to stroke with you least dominant hand (right if you are left,left if you are right.) Stroke the shaft, not the head or under it. Let you phallus grow to its full potential and now slowly if you choose you can ejaculate and get the full signature aroma of your phallus. You have reach your solo blis. How can this be wrong?

Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel girl it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl   "Girl, how do you feel being a girl? (Girl, girl, girl) Girl, how do you feel being a girl, girl? (Girl, girl) Man, I don't know, I'm just a girl (girl, girl, girl, girl) Yeah, I don't know if you like me Sometimes I think you might hate me Sometimes I think I might hate you Maybe you just wanna be me You always say, "Let's go out" So we go eat at a restaurant Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest Can't tell if you wanna see me Falling over and failing And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel The industry loves to spin And when we put this to bed The internet will go crazy I'm glad I know how you feel 'Cause I ride for you, Charli (Charli, Charli)" this one is going to be shorter than usual because charli and lorde said it all. in the sophia context, carli is me. lorde is me. all the music performers are me. on a bigger screen. it's not the first time i've said it's not the last. if you are especially resonating with mjy writing, my profile, my page and you're femme(afab, woman, transgender, third gender, non gender, queer, femme man, metrosexual, whatever the label, the sophia aka divine feminine original soul is fluid...feminity is fluid and therefore the body and gender identity is wild in it's presentation on the spiritual tip) alternative, dark goddess, quirky, subversive, love different, feel different, relationship different, kink oriented, gothy, kawaii y, nerd y, geeky, on the add/austim 'spectrum' label or not, atheist or not, attracted to mermaids, space, aliens, sanrio, all the things....you might be me too. you might be charli too. you might be lorde too. the lyrics say it.....our ages are different, our race is vast, our locations are vast. the way it played out is slightly different. but there's a deep pattern. this soul is a stubborn bitch raging against the 'music industry' of life..the structure that isn't right isnt' working.....we're given harder deals of life than most. we're touching hard subjaspects of emotions relationships crappy family origins, and rough deals. we're touching a sense of deep loneliness and otherness when other ladies get to fit in and feel accepted at a level we never will...from someone like me who literally navigates 3d alone with a deep rich online community and community of people who love me but have more obligations and stuff that just translates to a more distant but deep resonnance.....to someone who has a husband or wife or partner and  kids and family but still has that deep sense of not fitting in. we feel deeply we love deeply we devour those we love and we have a fierceness in us that is trying to be quelled and normalized and packaged....we can only be eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and scott pligram in portions us. not just in our head....our livelihoods, our housing, our basic needs at times or maybe not basic..just the words actions of others viscerally tell us.... we can't be us..shape up morph and change or get destroyed. and were dark goddesses. we don't cave in like the others and submit. we know we're up against the powers at control and we still fight back even if we fall fucking hard. but we don't' give in....we don't become torturous violent vicious spirits....we hold our light navigating the tight rope of dark and being fully consumed by the abyss. we keep creating we keep screaming into the void we keep doing like sister lana says, 'our rare jazz collection, our beat poetry' we're so talented at our individual souls gifts in this bigger puzzle 'we can sing most anything' even when the 3d world doesn't properly compensate or secure us for this. "Girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl Girl, girl, girl, girl Girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl Girl, girl, girl, girl Girl, how do you feel being a girl?" i have this higher perspective where my spirituality and deep inner work has cracked a code. in the auras of pictures or the words or just the being i see it. you're definately separate from me. but on a deep level i see it. you're me. even if they don't' see it or recognize it or want to admit it...deep down i know. you're me too. "Man, I don't know, I'm just a girl Girl, girl, girl, girl Yeah, I don't know if you like me Sometimes I think you might hate me Sometimes I think I might hate you Maybe you just wanna be me You always say, "Let's go out" So we go eat at a restaurant Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest Can't tell if you wanna see me Falling over and failing And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel" i navigate being on my own dark goddess/alt girl sophia journey but a deeper level of what i am. (if anyone is curious and wants a book reference that energetically activates this on a deep level, check out sister kaia ra. trigger warning early on without warning she talks about her betrayal and incursion event of why she had to grow up fast and what most people hear and think is heinous and something you can't recover from....her's is more intense than mine..the control is the family of origin 'hero's journey' but the variable is the degree to which it happened in this experiment on earth. and because she's where she's at she doesn't trigger warning or hide it. she's raw and says it.  ) when i see one of us breaking because their michaels hurt their heart and their daddy let them down i break. not because it just happened to me but i feel that collective hurt. when i see the struggles with our whack ass mom or sometimes dad, usually mom i grieve not just because of my own situation.  when i see the world take us out of our work or shit on our dreams i feel it so deeply. when i see us struggling with the physical issues of chronic whatever this or that or whatever issue we have because the body takes the toll i hear it. we're navigating a world that as the song says loves to see us not united. focus on the little variables of what makes us different and not support us. "I was so lost in my head And scared to be in your pictures 'Cause for the last couple years I've been at war in my body I tried to starve myself thinner And then I gained all the weight back I was trapped in a hatred And your life seemed so awesome I never thought for a second My voice was in your head "Girl, you walk like

You say You are concernedwhen i say i am corneredin my thoughts, craftedby cornerstones of my sinsand demons and shadows.You say it is cold in herewhen i say the fire still claimsthe corners of our house.You say You are going for a walkwhen i can't even find a door.You say i need to be tucked inwhen i am concerned about Younever returning, taking myheart with You tucked awayand forgotten in Your pocket.You say that time will heal mewhen i say that this time wasmy last time, for this life time.You say i will be just finewhen i say you are my world.-dirtydarling

i stay stresssed out and depressed all the time anymore its hard for me to think its hard for me finding someone to be in my life when your family mistreats you your thinking pattern gets off of what you was going to do with screaming and yelling at me all the time it never fails i speak i get jumped on for breathing or moving 16 years of there mouths and mentally i really take much more it's killing me mental im already dead on the inside but idiots  doesn't care about me my feelings or my needs they dont care if i die anyways they tell me to kll myself nobody wants your stupid ass anyways fucking whore your nothing but a worthless piece of ass nobody wants ... and one cop in my hometown october said your ruthless piece of ass nobody wants when i was living at the apartment i was at so i stopped socializing i stop going to the store i busted my phone so i wouldn't have to deal with stupid ass bullies and i am at my breaking point and my landlord would let who ever in my aprtment because in august i was watching tv an smoked a joint before i went to bed an took my mucsle relaxer and then who ever had a key to my apartment did something because i was stiff an couldn't move and woke up next morning couldn't hardly move my right arm the second night they molsted me in my sleep and i can't walk for a week... they grab my right foot that is how i knew an i checked my self and i got pissed off them letting people in my apartment landlord was a jealous jesus christ freak that almost got me raped... i have no trust left with anybody at this point because when i do they abuse me 

I'm addIng this more so I remember it than anything else. I'm not used to being afraid.  Death was never really a deterrent... He'll between the ages of 18 and 25 I was actively trying to get myself killed.  I've walked through Cabrini Green at midnight, stood and taunted a guy shooting at me because he was to drunk to be acurate.  I was on a first name basis with the cops in three counties by the time I was 21.  Just adding that for context. After my fall I was chained to a hospital bed for months.  The old age home I went to just exuded a miasma of death.  I had nothing to do but watch TV.  I didn't even own a TV at the time. The worst part was not being able to use the bathroom.   Now I get panic attacks thinking about it.  I'm not worried about being killed but I'm terrified of being a quadriplegic.  I can't read books or watch TV that includes guys in that condition.  Being trapped in jail seems to get to me as well.  Just being unable to move around or take a shower when I need it. I am not used to this.

Reflecting i sit here in chastity, reminiscing on my past, contemplating the decisions i have made, rationalizing some and regretting others.  It is the ones i regret which pierce deep into the soul, humbling the spirit, causing conflict within, creating a helplessness that overwhelms me into a deepening slavishness. Recollections of disobedience consume my mind, no relief, no escape, an affirmation that i am not perfect.  Is it possible for me to make reparation? Are there limits or do i kneel quietly and endure whatever is given to me for my disobedience?   geo

June 2, 2025 - Pennsylvania red came by today.       He has been here many times before, so he knew to come into the garage where he stripped in back of the garage and put his clothing in a plastic milk carton with a written sign that says “Worthless Pieces of Human flesh are to put their clothing here before entering.”   For the first time, I had placed wrist and ankle restraints in the clothing box before his arrival. I had no written instructions, I had not told him I was going to be doing it, it was a completely new thing for him to see. I knew he would understand what I wanted him to do. And, as expected, he came in naked WITH the restraints on. It was just another level of humiliation I was putting him through.   We went upstairs and I told him I needed a blow job. I laid back on my bed, and he got up all fours with his ass to my right. He knows from previous visits that I love to play with his ass with my fingers as he is sucking my cock. As he was sucking, I put a bit of lube on my fingers and shoved them in his ass. I started with one finger, but soon I was shoving three fingers into him. He started out super tight, but I was quickly loosening his hole.   I started spanking with my hand. Not only did I spank both of his butt cheeks, but I was concentrating smacking the actual crack of his ass. Something about smacking his HOLE is a real turn on. This went on for about 15 mins, including wrapping my leg around his neck pulling him down onto my cock until he was choking, holding him there until I though he was about to vomit.   When I knew his mouth, jaws and throat were on fire from the session, I told him to get up on all fours with his ass at the bottom of the bed. I started with my fingers and lots of lube. I removed my fingers and replaced them with a long bumpy toy. I pushed it deep in his ass hoping he took the time to clean out properly. I was not disappointed. I fucked him with the toy for a while as I played with my cock with my free hand. Occasionally I would pull and tug on his balls.   READ THE ENTIRE STORY AT HTTPS://SirKel.top?collarspace

I'm looking for something a little different. I'm looking for a Daddy and/or Mommy with a sadistic streak. I'm VERY into ass play and spanking. I love the emotional release i get from long, hard anal use. I want to be regressed back into diapers using suppositories, laxatives and enemas. I want to be put through long, grueling enema sessions that leave my anus swollen and sore. I want to find someone who will bind my wrists together in front of me and fill my bowels uncomfortably full with warm, soapy water and put me through the humilation of expelling into a diaper as many times as it takes to completely clean me out. I'm looking for someone who will use and abuse my ass regularily. I want plugs, dildos and vibrators used in my ass. Lay me flat on my stomach and finger my tight hole and use a rectal thermometer on me. When i'm naughty, cover an uncomfortably big plug in Vicks or Tiger Balm and make me hold it in my ass until you decide to take it out. Stick a vibrator in my ass and force me to cum until i can't take anymore. If I've been a good girl, lay me on my back, spread my legs wide and lick and suck my pussy, force me to cum over and over until you've had your fill. I want to find someone who will keep my pussy hairless and smooth with shaving or pre-waxed strips. Use tweezers to pluck out any stubborn hairs. I want to be spanked long and hard several times a day until i'm crying. Cut a switch and whip me until my entire ass is covered in welts and knicks. Then use alcohol on the knicks and cuts as i lay there bawling in pain. Spank my already marked and bruised ass just because you want to make me cry and beg. Cover my ass in a soaked facecloth and then remove it and beat my wet ass with a strap or belt. I want to be regressed back to a little girl with strict structure, rules, restrictions, guidance and discipline. Aftercare is a MUST! After each spanking or long ass play or enema session, I need to be hugged and cuddled and snuggled. As much as I like being disciplined I also need a lot of affection.  

Part 3  Yes , the brothers had one more surprise . I thought I was going to be alone, suffering in silence , but that was not to happen, or at least not yet . the boys had one last act . They were never really mean to me and I always liked at everything they did or had me do as caring for  me and showing me the c live and attention I did not get from other areas in my life . their final act was to make sure I continued as a pet , even though they were no longer in the picture . they had me meet them at the place in the forest that they usually took me to. I arrived and they told me that this would be the last time as I stripped and crawled to them . but thus time instead in binding me to a tree, they bound me to the log that functioned as a chair .after that they rolled my holes and deposited their seed as they had done so many times over the last several  years.  when they were done they both caressed me , before fastening a shiny red collar around my neck, a gag in my mouth and a hood over my head , and said good bye as I heard them walk away.  then I was alone bound , naked save for the collar and hood , lost in my thoughts, I dozed off unaware of the passage of time , or of the foot steps that had done up the path.  I awoke to the aroma of a hardwood fire. unable to see or speak, I listened intently to any sound. I could make out foot steps , two different ones . I felt a bit groggy and dozed of again . when bi woke the second time , I true to move , forgetting for a moment where I was and that I was bound . I heard an unfamiliar make voice say it's, awake . a female voice replied , I'll be ready in a few minutes wait . at this time I heard movement and could smell a perfume as the breeze came toward me . the male came over and removed the hood and as my eyes adjusted I saw him dressed in black leather pants, a chest harness and a cover snapped over his crotch.  then I heard her for the first time , in a firm tone telling him to remove the gag from her , emphasize the word her.  She walked over to me and stood in front of me , I had never seen a women dressed like this  thigh high shiny black boots , a short leather skirt , corset top , and a ringed harness around her waist . I had seen her before , she was the girl from the next block . As she stood there, she told me that the brothers in an act v of compassion had arranged this for me. they wanted to make sure I continued on my journey , She sounded sweet and kind as she explained that to me and that the reason I was Groff is they had coated the gag with a pill to make me drowsyand relaxed  as she wanted me to be relaxed for what was to come . after that she attached a chain to the collar around my neck and gave it a sharp tug. in a very commanding voice she told me the collar around my neck belonged to her, , the chain be longed to her and from now on I will belong to her and she expaspects obedience,  and loyalty , and the brothers have given me to her to continue my training , and iv was now her part to use in anyway she saw fit. did I understand , she un buckled the gag and asked me again did I understand , I answered yes , and she yanked the chain savagely and held it tight pulling the collar around my neck right enough to stop me from breathing , just when I started stuffing to breathe she relaxed , and a I was gaping for air she sits you first lesson , you shall refer to me as Ma'am, when we are in public , and Godess when we are not . so let's they that question again  Do you understand what I said that you are now mine to use as I see fit ? I answered Yes Godess . . she smiled very good. I understand you know your way around a cock . we will see , if your good enough , I'll let my boyfreind try you out . but it's not all about cocks anymore , you are going to learn your away around a pussy . her boyfreind came over with a dildo she attached to the harness around her waist. she had me thank him and to me he was Sir, from now on. . She approached until the dildo was brushing my lips and simply said show me.    

I am looking for a rather extreme & piggy domestic slave & pup ----- I am looking for a very serious, committed, and submissive slave who is interested in a very controlling and quite sadistic anonymous cam master to start with. This is because I highly value my privacy at first, and cam is a good way for me to test your potential. I am rather unexperienced, but this is the lifestyle that I have now decided to pursue. So, I am ideally looking for a no-limit live-in piggy irl 24/7 servant, butler, handyman, pup, object and sex slave. A slave who lives to fulfil my every need is actually what I am looking for. I am also actually more into control than anything else, so a Gorean and Roman type of slave mixed with a mid-50's housewife would fit me nicely. All that being said I believe that it might realistically work best if I have a vanilla relationship, with the person, but where I am the king of the house and my partner knows his place as a no-limit live-in piggy irl 24/7 bf, servant, butler, handyman, pup, object and sex slave, doing all domestic chores, errands, renovation of the flat, labour work, etc... while I also control everything in his life. If that is you, or if that is what you want to become, don't hesitate to contact me - especially if body smells, careless general hygiene, and a little more extreme twist on things, don’t scare you off, but turn you on instead! If you contact me, send a detailed overview of your experience, expectations, current limits, and some recent pictures in your message. ----- I am also very interested in getting in contact with either an experienced master who could help me build up my knowledge and experience of many kinks, or an experienced slave who could mentor me while worshipping me.

Just adding a journal entry to expound a little on my ideal relationship. Perhaps entries with more of my thoughts will attract the right girl and prevent being pigeonholed as a certain type of man, at least by those willing (and able, lol) to invest some time reading. I would charactize myself as a very empathetic human-being. I am caring of other's feelings (at least of those that warrant such respect) and very mannerly toward women. This nature initially steered me toward being a DaddyDom. I also have no children of my own to dote over so one could possibly infer all manner of psychology there, if they wished to, heh. Anyhow...not all my thoughts and desires are of sweetness and over the years have certainly grown darker yet. Being physically rough has always been exciting. Someone who is willing to explore the darker depths of humiliation and subjugation has gained growing interest now. Some days a chained up fuck-hole of a slave, others my sweet little girl, or an obedient cherished pet. I do also want an actual partner that can laugh, have fun, preferably has some intellect and some worthy input on life decisions. A real man can actually be humble enough to accept input and advice from others. I seek the girl that can embody all those roles. The psych of cuckquean play holds a huge interest too. Although, in the cold reality of day to day life, monogamy with my mate would be the norm. Since just like any good D/s relationship in general, most of the excitement lays in the mental build of the ideas, and that any actual play with another girl would be rare considering that I have grown only more discerning in my growing age. Plus, I do not take such play lightly. I am very willing to invest the time, care, and love to build the connection and trust that is inherent in an ongoing fulfilling, and hopefully 'rest of my life' relationship, since that is what I seek. The girl or woman that can give of herself so selflessly to her trusted Owner, is one that I would adore all the more. It is with great irony that in my experience thus far, women that were not invested in a relationship (like early on in our dating) were willing to do such acts (like a 3-some) but once they became emotionally invested, jealousy sets in and they became unwilling to give in this way. Oh yes, believe me, I fully understand the fears that cause those particular inhabitions to manifest but it is utterly counterproductive to withhold one of the gifts that would only cause me to cherish and hold onto her yet more tenaciously. Anyway, not just threesomes, but in general, where I want to go further with my girl as the bond strengthens, I have experienced that their kinkiness only wanes. This has caused such frustration and discontent for me. FFS, where is My good girl?!

It has been brought to my attention that Desire, my previous journal entry, was cut off midway through. So below I will post the rest of it. Desire part 2  What COULD he do? Bound as he was, I had not ever tested if he could crawl. I climbed down from the bed and tiptoed out of the room and walked back in as if I was returning from elsewhere. He jerked in the direction of my sounds, bells tinkling on my anklet, I noisily gathered a chain leash and walked to his helpless body and attached it to the ring on the collar of his special hood. "Come, puppy." I called in my sing song voice, the very one I use for my cats. "Come on, my handsome boy." He made a muffled noise and tried to orient his body to follow. Trying to rise up on his elbows and knees. I knelt down and gently petted his right cheek and could see him inhale and exhale sharply. "Good boy, that's right, come to me, follow, boy. Goood boy, my handsome boy" He tried to orient his body yet again and one of my cats wandered up and meowed, they, too, were used to such talk from me. As he struggled to get to his knees and elbows I tugged the leash impatiently as if irritated and said, "hurry the fuck up". I dragged him some by his neck and funnily enough he got into the position to hobble behind me. I smiled at that, his determination to please me. It was intoxicating. I led him, blind, behind me through the house to the third bedroom, which was my "office". It was under lock and key, in fact, the key for the office happened to also work on the lock of his cage, I had the lock on the door altered to match the key so he could not enter without permission. He knew that in that room he wasn't to speak. There he was a dog. My dog. My faithful puppy. We entered and I gave different commands. Sit, and he got into a kneeling position. Stay. And he would remain. Heel and he'd crawl to me and heel. Obedience. Blind obedience. I sat in my chair opened  the drawer on my desk as he knelt beside my right leg. Opened a book I kept in there and turned to the most recent page. I read through and opened my mouth and said firmly. "Yesterday, my property degraded himself and so degraded me. 25 swats with the cane. Get into position to receive" he groaned but complied as best he could while hobbled. "Remember, we do not move away from the pain, perfect love has perfect trust, be ready to receive. This is your penance. Count each stroke of the cane and be grateful to suffer and try to remember that to harm yourself is to harm Me, to love yourself is to love Me" He barked an affirmative, as the rule of the room was no speaking. The first strike he was still, taking the sting of the thin willowy cane. *bark* By the fifth his behind was quite red with deep lines. His barks were breathy and he swayed. *bark* counted out the tenth stroke. There trickled a pink clear fluid from one of the pretty lines. *bark* his voice was weary even through the hood and he had sweat in beads on his back. This was stroke 20. He trembled visibly and rocked on his knees. I thought I heard a sniffle. I raised the cane and swung but didn't strike him. He tensed and moved forward but not away. His breathing was quick yet shallow. I imagined tears and sweat and saliva in his hood. I raked my nails across his warmed ass, this was primal for me. This reminded me that he wasn't the only beast in the room. I wondered if I were sick, his perfect sadist, was I a monster to be so aroused by the brutality. I leaned down and said to him, lovingly, "there are five more, my love, are you strong enough to endure for me?" He nodded his head quickly and let out a low "bruf" bark. I stepped back, raised my arm and struck him quickly, five times, as hard as I could. I felt the cane cracking and at the last swat it snapped and a piece of the cane flew up and hit me. Startling me I yelped and he tried to get up and attend to me, forgetting his place and forgetting his binding and forgetting to bark five times. I should have written it down that the penance was not complete but was moved by his desire to care for me even when he was broken. "I'm fine. Remember your place" I called out. He stayed quiet for a minute and then nodded and barked five times to complete his punishment. Could I have been more in love with a man? I doubt it. I got down on my knees beside him and caressed his leather bound head and clucked over him. I cleaned his wounds and kissed his face over and over. I stood up and returned my book to my desk and gave another command. "Pleasure" He flopped onto his side and rolled onto his back with his legs opened. The true purpose of how he was bound is that being in a frog tie made it more difficult for him to fuck me. I decided I wouldn't yet unlock him so I sat on him in his cold metal cage with my hot pussy. Enjoying the feeling of him cooling my skin. Knowing that my weight on him was applying pressure to the wounds on his ass. He immediately tried to buck but I placed my right hand on his chest and my left on his neck and pressed down. He grunted and tried again to buck. Jerking his head upward in frustration, precum leaking out of his cage and smearing on his pubic hair and my lips. I began to grind on him, pressing hard on his neck while feeling his heart beat under my palm. Knowing that I was using my weight on his neck. He'd slow down and I'd release him and feel his heart race. The metal cage now warmed and wet from both of us. The blood and air rushing to his brain and lungs. "Would you like to cum, do you want me to unlock you?" I cooed and moaned and he sighed and nodded and gave a short "ruff". I slapped him and laughed. Then I moaned, "No, you haven't earned it" and ground against him in slow circles, feeling his balls draw up tight to his body. I scooted forward and leaned back to fiddle with his cage as I bounced on his chest, listening to the air whoosh out of his lungs. The sparse hairs tickled my clit and I felt I'd explode at any moment. I turned my torso and unlocked him. Now erect and free. "Are you allowed to cum without permission?" I asked breathily?" "Uhn" he grunted shaking his head and bucking his hips. </spa

This is a short story i wrote a couple of years ago . . Is your life really that empty? Maybe the best words I have ever spoken Is your life really that empty? That may be the best opening line since ‘.......I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal'. In truth maybe not, but these words got me here, pressing keys on my pc’s keyboard about to tell my story. A good opening line, true, although not a good place to start my tale, so, where to begin? Who I am, where I was when I first saw her or the reason I spoke those words? Maybe to ground this thing would be best, I am male, a Dom, a sadist, not rich, not powerful, slightly artistic, getting to be older than I want to be living in a small suburb of a small city in the English Midlands. It was a Tuesday, early afternoon and I was on a coach going to Nottingham to check out an art gallery to see if they would exhibit, or sell, some pieces of my work. Don’t get all excited thinking I am a master painter or sculptor selling pieces for hundreds of thousands of pounds (yes pounds and not dollars) I sell my work for between £100 – 200 if I am lucky enough to find a buyer.Anyway, I first saw the girl, woman, standing on the platform along with others, waiting for our coach to arrive and noticed her because she fell into that style of female I like, slim, simple hair style, makeup tending towards the Goth, in jeans, ankle boots and a soft leather jacket and no handbag – simple pleases me. I am a good and sadistic Dom but I am no good at talking to females I do not know in vanilla situations so I took in her images, filed it under, ‘what a shame’ and then as the coach arrived I entered and walked to the back and sat down only to find she followed and sat in the seat in front of me on the other side of the isle. As we pulled out of the station I saw her take out a book, find her place, about a third of the way through, and begin to read. To say my mental image of her was shattered would be far too extreme but I was so disappointed in her. If she was vanilla it was such a pointless thing to read and if into my ‘lifestyle’ a really sad thing to read and I didn’t know which was worse. I tried to ignore her, and the book, as the minutes ticked by.  I watched houses and trees and cars pass by before we reached the dual carriageway, connecting the two cities, and the coach built up speed. I noticed all other passengers were seated nearer the front leaving at least seven rows of empty seats between us and them and I decided this was the universe telling me to do something – the universe seldom tells me to do things in case you were wondering. I moved across the back seat until I was slightly to her left but still behind her and said in a normal speaking voice, not too loud, not too quiet, “Is your life really that empty?"I accept this could be a very insulting thing to say to anyone especially a stranger on a bus but the words formed and so were spoken. She lifted her head from the book but did not turn around, I could see her face from where I sat and her mouth turned down slightly, not in a frown but in a puzzled thoughtful way and lowering the book to her knees she said, “Why do you say that?" "I am a Dom and a sadist”, I said although not sure why I was so truthful, “I don’t usually tell people as most do not understand.” I paused waiting to see what she would do or say. "I see.” Was all she said, which didn’t give me any sort of clue or guide to what I should do or say next.  "The book does not relate to the real world of BDSM, most of us are so normal we are as boring as vanilla folk.” I saw a smile come to her face at this so continued, “It is only when we play that many of us diverge from the norm, but I suppose the same could be said of golfers or those that go tenpin bowling every week.” She laughed at this; thank god.  "How do you dominate people then, do you do it with men or woman or both?” She did not turn around as she spoke.  "Before I answer that, have you tried anything in a fetish way; are you sub or Domme or both?"  "You would certainly call me vanilla I think. Everyone is reading the book so I thought I would too.” She paused for a heartbeat and then said, “I am not sure if I would like to submit to a man, I think I might giggle too much if I had to call someone Sir or Master."  "There is much rubbish talked about BDSM, you do not need to call him Sir if that is not what you want, I have little interest in a female calling me Sir unless it comes naturally to her at a time that seems correct to use it.  "BDSM is like real life, it is not a video game, it merely has a few given rules that vary as much as any vanilla couple’s rules vary, that and blindfolds and restraints obviously"  "Something else I would not like until I trusted him enough.” She said and added “How to you write a contract?"  "I am a sadist, I like a little fear in my play, if you trusted me, or knew me too well, could you really be scared of me? I thought this was a statement too far and wondered if I was trying to sabotage this conversation. “There is even more bullshit talked about contracts.  No contract is needed by 999 out of a 1000 couples. “I say ‘do you want to play’? You answer ‘I am new to this’, I say, ‘understood’. What more needs saying?"  I watched her face, and saw a small frown crease her brow, “Remember, you have the power to stop whatever is happening by simply saying a single word, it is easier to stop what is happening in a BDSM encounter than, say, trying to get rid of some half drunk moron in a nightclub who is likely not to take no for an answer. If I do something you do not like, it ends and the play stops, it is in the skill of the Dominant one to not make you say that word."  "I don’t understand,” she said, ”if you are dominant how could I stop you doing what you want especially if I am blindfolded or tied up?"  "Blindfolded, AND tied up” I said with a smile, “I said before, BDSM is real life, if you say the stop word and the dominant one continues that is assault, or as close to it as make no difference, BDSM does not give anyone the right to, umm, go too far."  The coach stopped and two elderly couples boarded and I watch with not a little ‘fear’ as they decided where to sit, the universe was still on my side and they sat side by side 5 rows in front of the girl.  We were well passed half way to the city and I didn’t know where the girl was going, the University of Nottingham Campus would be reached in 5 minutes or so and she could easily be a student there. So as the coach moved on I said.  "It is much easier to show you, show someone I mean, what happens in BDSM play than to describe it, just like if you were going on a first date in the vanilla world you go on it and see how things progress”.  She sat for a second and then put the book back in her pocket, “Thanks for the chat but I have to get off in a couple minutes."  "Ok, I don’t usually talk like this on buses with cute females I don’t know so thank you for not running away screaming.”  I reached into my pocket and took out my business card, “I am a body piercer so I have a card, if you are bored give me a ring and maybe I can answer some more questions or, if your curiosity gets stronger, I can show you my Domly skills.” I reached forward and placed the card on her left thigh, gently pressing the card down, before taking my hand away.  She looked at it before picking it up and putting it in her pocket, so I said “I have a normal house on a normal street, although I do have a play room of sorts with some interesting things to play on and with, so if you visit you do not have to walk though a dark wood to a haunted castle."  she took this the way I hoped and laughing said, “That’s a relief, but this is my stop so bye"  "Have fun.” I said as she stood and I was very impressed, not sure why though, that as she got up and walked down the coach she didn’t look back to see who I was.  The coach stopped she got off and I thought I would not see her again and wondered if I should get off too but my commonsense won out and I sat still as we moved off. “One day I will remember to ask a females name” I said to the back of the seat in front of me and again thought ‘what a shame.'  "Good morrow.” Yes, I oft times answer the phone this way. It is Thursday at 7pm and I have been relaxing watching a video on tv.  "Hello.” A female voice replies.  A silence follows which I do not interrupt wondering if this is another recorded message asking if I want to make a personal injury claim or some other tedious drivel. “I thought reality might be better than fiction."  "Ah.” I am a sadist of few words but sometimes one has to be a little helpful, “That is easy to do, come to my home, knock on the door and then enter, all other decisions will be made for you from that point. If you wish things to stop simple say ‘Lucifer’ and I will stop whatever I am doing.  "You do like us to be scared don’t you, I thought we would be discussing what and how, not simply being told to visit."  "When you visit it will be a time of physical interactions, this will not be a time for you to serve me as a slave or for silly things like sitting at my feet waiting for permission to get up or speak."  "Ok, I just come and that’s it, you don’t want to know more about me."  "You are cute, you want to know more about submission and you called me.   That is all I need, I told you before it is for me to play without making you want, or need, to stop me; so all will be found out when you are here."  "When can I come and should I wear something specific?"  "What an entertaining fem you are, if free tonight come at 9 pm or come tomorrow at the same hour. As for clothes, if you wish to please then, as I am a male; heels, hold ups or stockings or bare legs, a thong, g-spring or nothing. Short skirt, not denim (hate denim), shirt with buttons and a skimpy bra or no bra, a coat may be wise as it is somewhat cold out."  "You sound like you have said that before, I will see what I can do and tonight would be best in case I chicken out tomorrow."  I gave her my address and added, “For your safety, and to make you feel a little more relaxed, tell your best friend you are visiting me, say about piercing if that is easier, and tell them you will call when you arrive here too. You will be safe here but it is a wise thing to be careful."  "I will see you tonight then, what should I call you."  "I will be waiting, and for tonight you can call me Demon.” I clicked the end call icon on my mobile and laughed out loud, maybe not such a waste after all.  I never plan what I am going to do with a sub, that way leads to disappointment more times than not, so I sat and watched my video till a suitable time came for me to stop it. I have a small pack of dogs so I sent all of them to their beds and went upstairs to change.  I checked to see that my playroom was ready and laid out my toys on a rack then, with 30minutes to go, had a quick shower and dressed in my Domly garb.  I decided to start the evening off on a high pressure moment, to see how she reacted, so dressed in leather trousers, knee length New Rock boots, vest and full length leather coat, all in black, obviously. To complete the attire I had recently made some leather gloves and a full hood, both with spikes and piercings, and these I put on before going downstairs.  I have a hallway leading from my front door to my kitchen with a turn to the right half way down leading to my staircase. At five to nine I turned out the light in the hall, darkness fell, I turned on the kitchen light, closing the door so only a thin sliver of light could be seen, and bought to life my cd player to beginning playing Metallica’s Black album.  I stood silently at the foot of my stairs, a still, dark shadow in the darkness, calmly wondering if she would come or not.  What a good girl she was, just after the 2nd track, ‘Sad But True’, began there as a double tap on the door.  I clenched my fists as a smile, which could not be stopped, came to my lips when the door opened and closed.  I have a tiled floor and her heels, clicked nicely five times before she appeared looking ahead towards the light in front of her.  I stepped quickly forward making a short, high pitched hiss to encourage her to turn a little towards me. Her head turned and, I am sure, she caught a glimpse of a moving darkness just before my right hand clamped over her mouth and my left arm swung over her shoulder allowing my left hand to grip her right arm, pinning her closely to my body.  "You came.” I whispered in her ear.  Her body was shaking violently and I could feel her breath coming in short, sharp, warm pants against my fingers, “Good girl, now control your breathing and relax a little, I have you safe and sound.” As I said this I used my right hand to brush her hair back over her ear and gently kissed it and, moving my head a little, I bit the lobe with just a little pressure from my teeth.  Even in her present shaken state, or maybe because of it, she let out a deep, long sigh and I felt her weight lean into me as she slumped slightly in my arms. Another gentle kiss on her ear followed by words spoken so softly they were more felt than heard, “Clever girl, pleasure and pain, fear and ecstasy and yours to enjoy or stop with a single word.” It is wise to remind a novice of their safeword I find in case, in the excitement of the new, they forget.  My right hand moved slowly inside her coat, which was of a dark material and almost as long as mine. My fingers slipped between the buttons of her shirt to rest lightly on a shear and half cup bra. Her flesh was very warm as I pushed my index finger under the top of the material and rolled her nipple under it then, drawing back my nail, I scraped over the small budding flesh. Another sweet sigh came to my ears.  I thought one more experience, before going up stairs, so my hand left her breast and moved slowly up to her throat and then, with a strong push, I sent her to thud against the wall and tightened my grip.  In the darkness I saw her eyes open wide as she saw my hooded face for the first time, “Sensations,” I said, “it can be all about sensations.”  “Upstairs, time to show you what the book could not.”  I released her and let her lead the way upstairs and into my playroom, the light was on dimmer so added a little dungeony atmosphere. I touched her shoulder to stop her then walked further into the room and sat on a chair facing her.  “Take off your coat.” I said.  I suppose it might be entertaining, and pleasing, to give a short deion of the girl at this point.  As I mentioned she fell perfectly into what I consider appealing, 5ft 7inchs tall, give or take an inch, a size 8 (I know such things as I sell corsets too) with breasts that fit nicely into my hand. Her hair, this evening, was shoulder length, straight and black with, something like burgundy hints. Her face was perfect, as only teenager’s skin can be, without wrinkles or lines and wearing black eyeliner and dark red lipstick.  As she took off her coat, which was a deep purple, I saw she was wearing a red shirt with full sleeves, a soft cotton skirt of a darker red that came to mid thigh, black fishnets and black, ankle boots, maybe, the same as on the first occasion I saw her.  “Hold-up’s or stockings? I asked, “show, don’t tell”  “You really don’t like small talk.” She said and lifted the hem of her skirt to show the lacy elasticated top of hold-ups.  “In case you do not know what these things are,” I waved my left hand to indicate my play furniture, “That is a St. Andrew’s Cross, a simple why to hold you safely, and securely, when being flogged; many like it this way, Dom and sub.  That is a spanking bench, you can lean against it or kneel on the lower cushion, also a nice height to fuck on. I have a pony, which is easier to show you it use than explain; maybe if you visit again I will let you ride it. And on the wall behind you there are many securing points if the cross is not wanted.”  “Come and kneel between my legs.” I said unzipping my coat and opening my knees.  She did not move and looked a little uneasy, “Be a good girl and come here so I can put some cuffs on your wrists. Now she came forward and knelt down, sitting on her heels and placed her right hand on my thigh.  “A little show of defiance?” I asked and not waiting for an answer I put on a leather restraint.  “These were the first things I ever made when I came to the Life.” She watched me intently with a small smile as I fastened the strap then, when it was done, she gave me her left hand for the other restraint.  “Close your eyes.” I said and once they were shut I said, “Open your legs and put your hands behind your back.” Her skirt rose up and I could see pale skin above the fishnets as she obeyed. I reached down and gently pulled my nails along her inner thigh and then sat back to look at her.  “In a few moments I will use some of my toys on you, I will begin with a soft toy and use it gently but then I will change it and use another type of toy and change again and each change will mean more sensation until it brings pain and maybe ecstasy”  I picked up a blindfold and told her to open her eyes and come closer. Once it covered her pretty blue eyes I told her to give me her hand and to stand up.  “Take off your skirt and give it to me.” She pulled down the zip at her hip and climbed out of the skirt. She wore a thin red g-string which was mostly lace and very seethough.  “Give me your right hand.” She did and I placed it on my left shoulder, “Now give me your right foot so I can add an ankle cuff. “Now your left.” Once the other restraint was on I ran my hand along the underside of her leg, over her hold-ups, across skin and gently touched the g-string with my finger tips.  I lifted her foot off my knee and, standing up, led her back to my flogging wall.  “As this is your first time I will let you keep your arms down by your side, I will still tie them as don’t want you covering yourself, but it is a little more comfortable this way. First though I need to do this.” I unbuttoned her shirt and took it off her compliant body. Her bra matched her g-string, cut low letting half a nipple show above both cups. I lifted out her left breast and sucked hard on her nipple pinching it between thumb and forefinger as I let it fall from my mouth, forcing a gasp of pain, or pleasure, from her lips.  I tied red rope to her left wrist restraint securing her hand about 6 inched from her side then did the same with her right wrist, then, before continuing and because she could no longer see me, I removed my hood and coat. I knelt in front of her and kissed her navel before tying a rope to her left ankle restraint and then her right, forcing her legs almost three feet apart  I sat back on my boot heels and looked at her, chest rising and falling quickly as she breathed in short, shallow breaths, one nipple, very pink, hard rested over the top of red material and moving down to more red material, wet and slick as her body, and mind, responded to stimuli physical and mental.  “This is a suede flogger.” I said beginning to gentle swing it in a figure of eight so that its movement caused a breeze that caressed her skin; goosebumps appeared over her arms.  I took half a step closer and the 18 tails brushed against flesh creating delicate slapping sounds. Downwards over left breast then right breast, from shoulder to nipple then, with a slight change of action, from hip to navel, left then right with not too much force, letting the suede tails move across skin once or twice a second.  I took another half step increasing the speed of my swing and the impact now made a very nice sharp sound. An added bonus, for me anyway, was that her hidden nipple had been forced out by the flogging action and the tails hit each pink morsel on each pass of the flogger.  Her skin was turning pink so I stopped and, discarding my flogger, ran my hands over her gently, creating marks with my nails and feeling the warmth I had created.  I have a very sharp dagger, broad of blade and 12 inches long in my playroom, I unsheathed it and laid the cold blade on her left breast, a nice intake of breath was my reward. I moved the edge across her breasts and under the right strap of her bra. A quick upwards pull and the strap split in two, a reverse journey, with a little more pressure this time, ended in another strap cut through. I reached behind her to unclipped the strap and her head came forward to rest against my neck and I felt a gentle kiss alight there. The clip opened (yes I can do this one handed) and felt the bra fall to the floor.  “More.” Was the single word she breathed against my neck.  “Obviously, little one.” My reply.  3 fingers of my right hand moved up quickly to slap the red material of her g-string, ‘very wet indeed’ I thought as I stepped back and reached for my red and black 36tail flogger.  Now, as the multi tails hit, her muscles twitched and small panted sighs came from her lips. Heavy, thudding hits moved a breast with each contact and made a wonderful sound as they hit her flat stomach, only a couple minutes of this and her skin was red and she was dancing on her toes with each hit  I stopped and dropped the flogger into my play bag and stood still simply looking at her, I had a strong, and strange, urge to untie her and carry her to my bedroom and gently make love to her for she looked so innocent and young tied against my wall. I had an overwhelming desire to ‘comfort, no wrong word, worship her was much closer to the mark.  Her head tilted to the left, as though listening for me, and then said, “Demon: Sir? Is everything alright?”  A slow smile returned to my lips and, stepping forward, slapped down hard on her left breast stinging the fingers of my hand. She cried out in pain and, no doubt, shock and her blind eyes looked down to her hurting flesh as her hand tried to reach up to ease the sensation  "All is just as it should be.” I said, “One more toy and then you can turn around for a time.”  I have two toys I call ‘little and big sister’, little sis is a whip flogger with a jointed tail section joining 8 shortish leather tails to the main body of the whip, very flicky and stingy; perfect for nipples and caressing g-strings with touches of fire.  Following the heavy beat from the music, heard and felt from downstairs, I flicked the tails at her legs, aiming just above her knees and, with a strong wrist action, moved the tails slowly upwards, hitting one leg then the other. I was tempted to aim at that small piece of red material but did not want to risk her stopping the play. I, therefore, moved outwards as I got higher and then continued moving towards her navel and up over her breasts. I was rewarded with many twitches, sighs and seeing her hands clenching and unclenching.  I pushed this play as much as I dared, as I love the way this toy touches nipples with fiery kisses, so I watching her face and body intently, looking for the moment when her strength, courage, tolerance or, god forbid, boredom got the better of her.  She was shaking her head from side to side, facing the heavens her mouth open sucking in air as though drowning, so I slowed my swings and eased off the pressure until finally I stopped.  Throwing the toy in to my bag I put my arms around her and pulled her to me, after a moment I raked my nails down her back – sensation upon sensation without time to recover or relax into a lessened state of awareness  “If you do not want this just says no, other things can still continue.” I said and slipped 2 fingers under her g-string and into her wet, warm cunt.  She almost screamed as she thrust her hips forward on to my hand so, smiling (being a sadist makes me smile a great deal), I thrust my fingers into her letting my palm thud into her clit.  I am a Dom, a sadist and I love to inflict pain but I do not like receiving it, so I had an entertaining decision to make for, as my fingers continued to make her body shake and quiver, her mouth found my shoulder and her teeth found my flesh and she bit me as the orgasm, I knew was coming, racked her body.  I added a finger and speed and as her groaning breaths moved against my skin I almost forgot my tortured flesh until she cried out, releasing her hold on me. As her body danced in uncontrolled spasms while waves of orgasm rippled through her the pain in my shoulder doubled up giving me an incentive to reinforce the speed and strength of my fingers lifting her onto her very toes.  “Oh god, stop please stop, for fuck sake stop, god oh god oh god.” Such sweet words tripped continually from her gasping mouth, and like the good Dom I am, I continued, She had arched her back, a beautiful human sculpture curving from toe tip to crown of head resting on the wall with nipples pointing to the sky,  I bent down and bit into her left nipple, teeth clamping hard, head pulling back and lips clamped to allow me to suck hard and long.  I felt a sudden explosion of hot wetness on my hand and she screamed in one long wild cry, second after second her scream continued  as my fingers and teeth did their work, “Demon, Lord, Sir, please, please stop.” she begged as the scream finally died  I stopped my fingers movement but left them buried inside her, releasing her nipple I supported her weight with my left arm as she straightened up to rest against the wall behind her. My fingers rolled over each other in the warmth of her cunt as I slowly withdrew them.  “Open your mouth”, I said, “You have made a mess on my hand.” This she did and as I placed my fingers close to her lips her tongue came out and eagerly licked them clean of her unexpected reaction. “Good girl.” I said as I watched her clean my hand.  “A slight rest, little one, then we will continue with more toys if you still wish it.” I watched her face hoping she would not want to stop. She said nothing as her breathing slowed. I asked, “Would you like some cold water?” With a slight nod of her head I said, “Stay still while I am gone, it will be only seconds but continue to rest against the wall your legs may not want to obey you if asked to do more than stand still.”  On impulse I gentle kissed her lips, tasting her cunt on them, before leaving to run cold water into a glass, returning I let her sip for a few moments until the glass was almost empty.  I placed my right hand, cold from holding the glass, against her cheek and let it travel over her skin to her shoulder then down her arm to reach the restraint. As I untied the rope I said, “I am not trying to break you, little one, I am not trying to release your hidden goddess or any other such sad drivel, I seek only to let you know yourself, your limits, your desires and allow you the freedom to enjoy and act on them.”  With the last rope untied and kneeling in front of her – I am worshipping again I thought to myself - I ran my hands up her legs and under the thin straps of her g-string and then slowly pulled them down her legs until she obediently lifted her right foot, then her left, to allow me to remove them.  I thought for a second or two, artistic considerations my only concern (sometimes my mind takes little detours) and then, making a decision, I removed her boots, ankle restraints then hold ups making sure my hands travelled slowly down her legs as I did so.  Naked, the first time is always so uniquely special, it is a shame how familiarity can diminish the beautiful sometimes - much too deep – maybe tis the fault of Metallica’s ‘Nothing Else Matters’ which is now playing.  No tattoos, no body piercings, (maybe I can add a piece of jewellery so she will never forget me) a tiny scar above her right knee, cunt, now swollen and pink, clean shaven, her skin red with a few subtle marks remaining from the flogging. Worshipping indeed, it is a good thing she wears a blindfold.  I stand and, taking her hand, pull her away from the wall, “Time to turn around,” I say, “Wait”  I leaned a 10 foot piece of wood, 10 inches wide by 2inches thick, against the flogging wall where she had been standing and then placed her hand on it, “Lean on this, it will hold your weight do not worry. It is best if you rest your head on your hands as this get your arms away from the flogger’s tails”  I caressed her back with my nails, leaving swirlling marks in her skin, “I have 2 toys like the ones you have felt, then others that are more severe, twin tailed straps in leather and rubber and then whips and for your arse I have paddles and a horse crop. You may be surprised how much you will like your back being flogged but I would hate for your front to feel left out”  Resting my weight against the full length of her body, crushing her against the hard wood, I reached around to attach a butterfly clamp to her right nipple and she cried out a little, which was pleasing, as it bit. I attached the other to her left nipple and said, “There is a chain between them, do not pull away from the wood or you will not enjoy the result.”  ‘Big Sister’ is a flogger with 12 plaited, leather tails about 36inch in total length, I stood behind her and, again using the typical figure 8 action, began to touch her skin, very gently to start and at a slow speed too.  Building up speed and strength over a couple of minutes she began to make sweet music of sighs and little cries, the tails hit with delicious sharp sounds of their own as I began to punctuate the pattern of swings by sending much stronger whip like flicks at her arse, which, soon made her tense her muscles in anticipation of the next strike.I laid this toy down and picked up my purple and black Cougar (a longer 12 tail leather cat with 4in leather thongs at each tail end). I began again using this new toy in the same place and in the same pattern but then moved to my left, continuing to hit as I moved.  Once I stood level with her shoulder and about a stride from her I changed the way I used the Cougar. I now brought it down in single strokes, striking from shoulder blade to shoulder blade and moving down her back to her arse using much more strength especially when connecting, horizontally, on her reddening arse cheeks.  I could see her face as I stuck, and with each hit her teeth bit into her bottom lip. I said, continuing to hit, “Your choice, 12 hard strokes to upper back or arse?” she did not reply for a couple of seconds so I added, “And then I will take the clamps of your nipples.”  “Bum” she replied so I hit her hard on her shoulders and said “Bum, what”  “Bum, Sir” she said quickly after a gasp  “I was expecting a ‘please’, but Sir will do.” And then added, “count them as I hit in case I forgot how many and have to start again.”  She did as was told and by the time she got to 12 her voice was shaking as the strikes had gotten harder, “Good girl,“ I said and throwing the Cougar onto my bag I rubbed her back running hands over slight welts in her skin. Standing behind her I kneeded her arse for half a minute to ease the sting and then moved to kneel by her head.  “A new sensation now, what fun this will be.” I could see her face react as she tried to work out what I meant, “Your sweet, poor, tortured nipple hurt when the clamp went on but now is almost bearable. But when I take it off, new blood with rush back in, nerves will awaken and you will have an experience to file away and fear for the next time. Rubbing it will greatly ease the pain but do not rub it until I say you can.”  I held the clamp and because I am a sadist I twisted it first with a gentle tug, she squealed loudly, “Sorry little one, I just wanted to make sure you remember my words.” I pushed and the clamp opens, her nipple sticking to it for a second before coming free.  Her mouth opened and she sucked air in in gasps as the pain returned to her pink flesh, it was still flattened from the clamp’s pressure and I waited for a count of 5 then said, “You may rub it now.”  Quickly her right hand reached under her and he caressed her breast and nipple, a most rewarding sight. I let this go on for a short time still holding the removed clamp.  “Now then, time to repeat this joy. You get a choice.” I released my hold on the removed clamp and it swung down freely to tug gently on her other nipple, another squeal; being a sadist is fun indeed.  “You can give me a reward, for all my kind attention, and rub your nipple straight away or you must count 60 seconds before I let you rub after it comes off.”  In a most sweet and quiet voice she asked, “What reward, Sir?”  I stood and stepped slightly forward so my leather trousers just touched her upper arm.  ”You can open your mouth.”  “I don’t think I can count to 60, Sir, so the reward is wiser.” I noticed she was smiling and as I pulled down my zip I said, “I must be doing something wrong if you are still smiling. Open.”  I slipped my prick into her hot mouth and, leaning over her, put my left hand between her shoulder blades ready to release the remaining clamp. I closed my eyes as her head began to move and I felt her suck and bite on my, most entertained, cock. “Let me know when you want the clamp off and I will quickly remove it for you to ease the pain”.  Her left hand had found its way between my legs and was holding my left thigh, gently pulling me towards her in time with her head movements. Her right hand she lifted and laid, palm up, on her back, I thought, so I had easy access to the remaining clamp.  After a very pleasing minute or two she took her mouth off me and said ‘now’ and returned to my ‘reward’. Reaching over I pressed in the clamp and pulled it off dropping them to the floor. I heard, and felt on my prick, her squeal as she sucked harder on me taking my prick to the back of her throat, her left hand pulling me in and holding me there though her right hand did not leave her back.  Her squeal became a mauling sound as her body began to shiver and only after about 30 seconds did her right hand finally move and I saw her massaging her right breast. I may be a Dom and a sadist but this sight, with this ‘attention, was too much (I am a male after all) so I pulled myself from her mouth and looked at the ceiling for a few seconds. This only just did its purpose as once my prick was out of her mouth the sounds she then made, as her orgasm came and diminished, could have deflowered a priest.  Fighting an almost overpowering desire to put my prick back in to her, anywhere in her, I finally put it back in my trousers and pulled up my zip – will power, such a pain in the arse at times.  I went to my bag and found my leg spreader, a 10mm bar of mild steel I had fashioned a few years before in the heat of a furnace - not unlike the forging of a new submissive I thought to myself. I found myself kneeling at her feet again as I replaced her ankle restraints and then secured these to the spreader bar, forcing her legs 30 inches apart. I made the mistake of looking up, and the sight of her open and inviting cunt almost made me change my mind about where I had put my prick.  There is a metal securing bolt at the top of the plank of wood so moving to stand by her head I took her hands and tied them to it so she was stretched along the wood’s length.  “The toys from now on will be much more intense?” I said. “I will use each for a minute or so but with each change they will get a little harsher. You already have pretty marks on your skin but these toys will leave better ones that will last for a few days, shall I begin?”  “Yes, My Demon.” she whispered and I saw her grip the ropes that tied her hands.  I take a red and black leather flog with twin, 8 inch, tails and began it strike her back, moving around her, watching her muscles twitch as the stinging leather hit, from neck to arse, leaving growing welts on her skin.  I hit with a constant strength as I moved from her left side to her right and back again until I was back at my starting position where I took a step closer to her and, reaching, sent the tails around her ribs to contact with her softly hanging breast. Her back arched and she screamed in a short feral explosion.  I dropped the flogger and, as she clenched her teeth, grabbed the hurt breast and squeezed it in my fist, “If you are expecting one thing the unexpected is so much better.” I said changing my hold on her flesh and rolling the nipple between thumb and finger.  I saw a tear appear under her blindfold so asked, “Do I continue, you remember the word to end this?”  I could see her think and then she said, “I remember but I don’t know, I think, I think I want to say stop.”  “ok, I will continue with a different sensation, use the word when you know you are sure about ending things.”  I untied her hands, along with one end of the spreader bar then said, helping her stand up, “I just need you to turn around and lay back on the wood.”  She was a little shaky as she stood so putting my arm around her I held her tight. As I did this her head lifted up so I kissed her and was pleasantly surprised as her tongue forced its way into my mouth. The kiss continued and my hand found its way between her legs and a single finger entered her gently slipping in and out as she lifted her left leg to give me easier excess.  “Enough.” I said removing my finger and mouth from her body, I helped her back onto the sloping wood and again tied her hands high above her head, to the securing bolt, I then secured the spreader bar between the ankle restraints under the wood. The bar has a loop at midpoint and to this I tied a length of rope, the other end I tied to the flogging wall, pulling her feet back under her arse and lifting her cunt high as her hips where pulled wide due to the width of the plank.  I sat on the chair I had used earlier and took off my boots and then trousers. I found a condom and with a little concentration, put it on then selected a horse crop, which had two short leather tails about 2 inches long, and moved to stand at the foot of the wood plank.  With small, sharp movements of my wrist I sent the tails across her nipples, first one then the other, hitting 10 or 12 times in a staccato rhythm then changing the target to hit once between her legs, on soft pink lips which stood, unexpectantly, open. I repeated this 3 or 4 times until I judged I had risked enough and she had had enough.  I moved to stand by her side and, while I stroked her body from nipple to inner thigh, I whispered in her ear, “Some do not think fucking is part of BDSM so I shall ask if you wished to be fucked before I do it as part of this experience.”  “Yes, Sir,” She said with a small smile. “or, Yes Please if you prefer.”  I untied her hands and she let her arms hang down at her side as I lifted my right leg over the plank so my prick was an inch or two from her and said, “Do not be cheeky, little one, you are still tied and just because I will be fucking you does not mean it will be the only sensation you will have  I inched forward and, pushing down on the end of my prick I slowly move inside her and like a good girl she pushed herself deeper onto me. I stood still, prick buried in warmth, and using the crop’s leather tails drew sensual trails across her skin from nipple to nipple to navel to clit and back again. Within a minute she raised her hands and held them again my hips as she began to move on my prick, drawing herself off and then pushing down to rub her clit against my groin as I stood immobile, her breathing began to get faster and, as her nails began to dig in, I saw the growing need she had for me to move inside her. Realising the moment had arrived I rested the crop across her belly and, putting a hand on each of her breasts, leaned down to kiss her ear.  My full weight was pressing down on her, crushing nipples against ribs through the flesh of her breasts. I thrust into her, my movement, adding more pressure and pain, caused her to groan loudly, “I will fuck you for as long as you stand the pain.” I whispered and, pushing myself up on to straight arms, continued to fuck her going as deep and fast as her mirrowing movements allowed.  My breathing was becoming fast as she placed her hands over mine and I saw her dig her nails deep into the soft flesh of her breasts between my fingers, ‘that is unexpected’ I thought to myself and took my left hand away to see what she would do.  Her hands squeezed and twisted her flesh, raking her nails across her erect nipple leaving lines as red as those I had given from my flogging.  “Harder.” A single word, she said, between gasping breathes as she reached for my left hand.  Making my hands into fists I pressed my knuckles into her breasts as her hands returned to my hips.  I fucked and forced my weight onto her as a building pain built in my hips under her hands, looking down I saw a bright red drop of blood on my skin, red lines, from this dear girl’s nails, mirroring her own marks; a small price to pay  I did not think I would be able to make her cum, or decide to stop this pain, before I came but suddenly her head thrashed from side to side and the raking of my skin stopped. She made no sound, did not breathe as her fingers spread wide and muscles moved in slow waves under the tight skin of her stomach.  I came a second later and, fighting the mix of pain and pleasure in the tip of my prick, continued to thrust into her until her movements calmed down.  A second’s pause, heart pounding, breathing trying to fill my lungs, vision clearing from an unnoticed unfocused gaze, I stand and let my prick die a little inside her.  I grasped the wood plank on either side of her neck and, leaning down, kiss her lightly on the lips. I gently removed the blindfold and threw it onto the floor.  Her eyes remain closed as I pushed myself up to stand looking down at her – fuck she was beautiful.  Her eyes opened slightly, they shine, a small smile comes to her lips and letting her arms fall to her side she closes her eyes again as the smile grows bigger.  Sadly, oh so very sadly, I pull myself out of her and stepping over the wooden plank sit down on the chair because my legs are shaking in a most entertaining fashion.  We stayed like that for about 5 minutes, her smiles, fading then bursting out bigger than before as the minutes pass.  I pulled on my trousers, discarding the condom into a bin, but remained barefooted as I moved to her shackled feet. I knelt down - I seemed to always be on my knees in front of her – and unbuckled the nearest restraint. Reaching under the plank I finally managed to unbuckle the other and, as if by magic, found myself within reach of her glistening cunt.  Like the nice Dom I am I lowered my head and, after one long, slow lick, bit gently into her soft pick lips, she tasted sweet, naturally and with a hint of strawberry from my used condom.  After a few seconds I stood going to her side to help her stand but as I got close she reached out and put the fingers of her left hand in to my unzipped trousers. I stopped and she pulled out my prick and, with a gentle tug, she led me back to her mouth, slow and gentle this time she held me with soft licks and sucks.  With eyes closed, her right hand moved slowly to go between her legs, with slow strokes, she put two fingers inside her.  I am old, but luckily not that old, for as I watched and felt her actions my prick came back to life. I took in what she was doing and let myself react as my body wished with no attempt at self control.  With a full prick in her mouth her fingers moved faster and, again, erotic moans began to come from her mouth vibrating on my shaft.  “I am going to cum.” I said giving her time to withdraw her mouth, if she wished, but she sucked as before and her fingers gained speed and strength adding wet sounds to my already stimulated senses.  I had to grab, with equal strength and need, the plank for balance and her hair to pull her on to me as I came in four strong spasms. She sucked, swallowed and bit as I came and I could not stop a cry cascade from my lips which went, something like, ”fffuuucckkkking jeeeeeeesus fucking Christ” as I tried to pierce the back of her skull with my softening prick.  As I died again, this time in her mouth, she gently sucked and licked until after a minute or so she took her mouth away, looked up at me and said with a smile, “Hello, Demon, my name’s Amy.”  The End - i think?

I'm going to attempt to take My mother out dancing tonight.  About once a year I will bring her out late night.  The last time was New Years, two years ago and then a year before that it was with some friends in the club and then out for an early breakfast.  She always brings a feel good feeling with her and makes everyone around her feel special, seen. Mother has a gift of graciousness.  Always the first to ask what your name is and introduce herself.  I always marvel how straightforward and outgoing she is.  I remember as a child when she would hear someone's last name, she would then say, "A nice polish name"...or " Is that of slavic origin?"  Being an English major, this was one of the many gifts she possessed in her tool bag.   Lately, her love of flowers has seen her gifting Me with lifes bouquets.  She picks up a pretty leaf, then finds a flower, a stone, a piece of yarn and she walks over and says, "I have something for you" and she hands Me her bouquet of loveliness.  All day long, as I run around making this, doing that, her gifts can be found all around.  I tried to start a book, as these bouqets often don't last too long.  One day, the bouqets will be all gone and her lovliness in My life.

It is always trying to improve itslf by learning new skills to serve a potential Owner . It has recently received some human toilet training. It is now VERY experienced in the consumption of Alpha male yellow. Are there any local London UK men who would like to help it train further by using it BY DUMPING YOUR BROWN WASTE DOWN ITS THROAT  ? It could possibly travel to you , if you live further afield , but , it would need to be for a weekend , or longer , where you would chain it and use it daily. Naturally , other forms of servitude could be provided. ONLY 100% Top men please , who are not overweight. NO versatiles , females or TV/CD's.  Please get in touch Thank You 

Let's get Cosmic Cunt out in the open, shall we? Cosmic -     a.  of or relating to the cosmos, the extraterrestrial vastness, or the universe in contrast to the earth alone.  b.  of, relating to, or concerned with abstract spiritual or metaphysical ideas.   characterized by greatness especaillyin context, intensity or comprehensiveness.     Cunt - the femle genital organs.  Cunny, Cunty, What a beautiful cunt is she!  I've reclaimed the word!  My cunt is lovely!  lol  A Brief History of the C-Word - The Establishment.  The etymology of cunt:  a very delicate monosyllable. Cunt - Old English.  

A handful of journals on here discuss disability and sexuality. It shouldn't be challenging but it does make me think why should a disability hinder your true feelings or needs. Some interesting artists have popped up locally: Mari Katayama Very inspiring. For some of the creative appreciators in the fetish scene.

Doms always ask me about my libido, which, honestly, has hardly changed in decades. I've always been quick to arouse, easy to orgasm, always wet, outright sensual, and very sex positive. No, I'm not bragging, and I certainly realize I am one *very* lucky girl to be like this sexually, with nary a bump in my sexual lifetime roadmap. I'm so thankful for that!  But the rub is, no pun intended, that I have to have a connection with my lover. The longing honest erotic sexy loving trustworthy dominant to his cherished sub dynamic type of connection. I don't perform, I can't get it up (so to speak) without engagement, I belong, I attach, I become, I subsume with my guy with everything that makes us sexual beings, and of course that includes emotional, mental, and physical.  Once I feel that connection, and know from my head to toes that it is both strong and reverential, my sexuality becomes like a well tended plant, soon to flower, over and over, again and again, each time beautiful and unique. Oh, yeah, and hot af too!

Hello everyone, I'm a 33-year-old male submissive who has recently moved to Warsaw. With a rich experience in the BDSM lifestyle, I am now seeking a Dom/Domme couple to serve in a 24/7 capacity. I am versatile with no taboos and have a particular passion for practices such as moral degradation, depersonalization, ballbusting, scat play, and public humiliation. I am looking for a couple who can embrace and utilize my fetishes and help me explore new depths of submission. I am blonde, mentally stable, and free from any dependencies. Having been married in the past, I now seek a new chapter where I can fully immerse myself in the lifestyle I love. If you are a couple seeking a dedicated and experienced slave, I would love to hear from you. Let's connect and see where this journey can take us.

I want a truly submissive, Female Supremacist who is acquiescent to their core and craves pampering a Beautiful and Dominant Goddess. I am bored of being approached by porn sick sex focused faux-subs who want to use Women to fulfill their kinks and "domestic shlubs". Cleaning My toilet is not an act of submission. Worshipping any sexual parts of my body is not an act of submission. Understanding your role as a male and sub in the order of My World is an act of submission. Begging to know how you can be of use, cater to Me and relieve Me of stress or woes is an act of submisoon. I am a dream Woman by all standards. I expect any sub who even attempts to approach Me to have a "how can i tangibly make Your day better, Goddess" attitude. Enough with the sex and domestic crazed bs. It's lazy, patronizing and patriarchal. The only sub I'll accept is one who hired a cleaning service to work while I'm enjoying a spa day that they arranged for Me. Afterward, they will prepare a delicious meal for Me, then I let out My pent up stress on them in a corporal manner, or have My feet massaged and kisssed...whatever mood stirs Me.

He didn't mince words.  "Let me see you in make up" My hands trembled as I spread some foundation on my face. Being watched made the experience more nerve racking.  Twenty minutes later, I turned towards him, hoping for approval. He studied me for a moment, then smiled kindly. "Not bad for a first attempt. But it's not you yet." I looked in the mirror. The eyeliner was uneven, the lipstick too bold, and the blush sat awkwardly on my cheeks. "So... start over" he said. i wiped it all away. Again. And again. And again. Each attempt grew more natural. My hands steadied. The lines became cleaner. The colors softer. Nearly two hours later, I turned to face him once more. This time, he nodded with quiet satisfaction. "There you are," he said. "Not because it's perfect—but because you finally stopped rushing and started seeing yourself.  From now on, this is how you will see yourself. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, unsure of who exactly was looking back at me.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrthemindplayersssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. They actually thrive on sucking you in and then spitting you out.  Funny how SO many of them are in Massachusetts.  For all the lovely men of integrity who live in that state, you would do well to differentiate yourself, out of the gate, from some of your neighbor men.  I can count no less than 5 from that area whose only mission is entertain their self and make you look and feel badly about yourself.  Nobody needs that shit.  Fucking move on little man.  Go serve your REAL Masters....you know, the ones who make you feel like a REAL slave.  GO!  BEGONE FROM ME.  DO NOT DARKEN MY DOORWAY AGAIN.  At this juncture, consider yourself warned and know that I will use all lawful means to remove you from My presence and person. Ladies....any man who draws you in only to critisize you is a man who is unsatisfied with himself.  He is jealous of your power and seeks to use anything he can against you because this is the only way he can touch true power.  I was married to one of those men and the world is over populated with them.  They are a manchild.  Lost someplace in their youth where their fantasy became their reality, and they are a hazard to theirself and to others.  They have nothing left to lose and are dangerous.

I  messed up badly extremely badly on my first night at Masters home  I. Have thought n thought about it and I know i have to show Master that I know i made a  Big mistake and no matter what,I'm going to do my best to never ever do that again  We did discuss what happened and it did have the potential to kill what we both wanted. I will strive to be better,do better and be what you want,need and desire  I just read a post about shitty subs,yes I said it and it did strike a nerve. We did discuss my behaviour and over the next 2 days,I did demonstrate to Master that  I was ashamed of myself and stepped up in everyway possible  I could've ruined the best opportunity to be owned by a Master who is so special and so different . Your a kind,caring and strict Master and even tho we agreed to never bring it up again,I want to say sorry .. That was not acceptable in any way shape or form and beat myself up daily.. I know I have a way to go and I will Master. I want you to be proud to own me,. .were still kinda new to each other,but ii want this to work with all my heart Master 

One got to love those indecisive str8 males. They know what they want, crave it, and dream with it. However, they are terrified to discover their true desires which for against their concept of masculinity. I am well aware of the effect I have on males in general. But in the case of indecisive str8 males I am terrifiying. not good looking, not a body to look at, but full of attitude and a very noticeable bulge that is always an eye catcher. I understand the conflict, there is a struggle between what the body is telling them and what their rational mind opposes. The truth is that there is a physiological contradiction; the find themselves aroused and painfully hard and their hole quivering and wet. not into guys, never had been, so what's is wrong? Nothing is wrong, the fact and plain truthe is that they found a male a man that swept them off their feet and there is no denying; the want to be close and to feel the totality of  a sexuality that now awakened refuse to retreat.  They can rationalize all they can and they can flatly denny the obvious but the fact remains the proud str8 male fell for another more powerful male! What to do? Society, religion, the wife or gf at home, and the friends know this male as a man man , and now he is still is but there is an interest a craving, a thirst that only another man (me) que quench and there is the conflict that can only be solved by surrendering and realizing that there is no label only an expansion of sexuality; a top and leader in public and asubmissive with the man that owns your most treasured space; your virginity. Step Up to the plate be a man and give your body what you now now it needs; a true male a Bull. 

On The Possibility of a Dream When I was 20something, I discovered Female Domination like a supernova in the night sky. It bathed my thoughts in a different light, it revealed hidden meanings in the way I felt, and it made it seem like anything was possible. It was strongly sexual - physical. Almost like a drug that charged me and made everything more vivid, more alive. In the center of this supernova was an archetypal vision - Woman, the essence of all I desired, the goal of all my efforts. The embodyment of all good and pleasure. Impressive as this was, I think it was incomplete. Now it's been 30 years, and with the help of several intelligent and perceptive Dominas, i can see more clearly. i realize that this raw power, the blind almost biological impulse, is made human, civilized, and meaningful by service - from bending to and serving a real woman. Not an archetype. A human being with her dreams, fears, hopes, and yes weaknesses. Does this mean I think my initial vision was wrong? No - I think that almost primeval response is the natural fuel for a rock-solid relationship. It is the capacity of seeing my partner as the channel, the embodyment of that feminine divine energy, that can charge our whole relationship and add layers of meaning "vanilla" relationships lack. Is this a dream? Maybe. But I know my soul is religious and its dream religion is the woman i would share my life with.

Depression wears funky shoes...does not matter what they look like, anymore, they all hurt and bring tears to my eyes. Food fills a void. And then my reflection hurts as well. Days pass. Alone most of the time with little that asks to be done. Care becomes a bird with no feathers that cannot fly. Hope is my shoe sole with lots of holes. Nothing matters. Nothing changes. Especially me...days come and go and will, till i die, my next horizon, the grave, how exciting. Sun rises and sets as if change cannot happen. Tick tock...tick tock... Am i waiting for Godot? Should i pin my eyelids open or no, maybe closed. Maybe not seeing what is before would help. And...maybe not...ah well...time heals all or, if nothing else, takes what we want and leaves us to make a legacy. i have only words to hold what has been and could never be. Something happened and joy left me.

A second story I wrote for a friend after she told me the 1st was too sweet. . . The Visit The time leading to this moment had been unbearable but now at last the bell was  ringing, the waiting was over. The woman walked quickly along the hall and opened the door to see a man standing there."Have you got rid of them?""Yes." she replies."Get me a drink," he says and waits for her to turn away from the doorway and walk down the hall before entering.To her back he says, "are you wearing what I asked for?""Yes." The woman answers and goes to pour whiskey into a glass. The man, standing by the door, watches her prepare the drink then walks into the living room and looks around with a smile on his face."Here." The woman hands him the glass and the man takes something from his pocket and throws it at her."Put this on." The thin strip of black cloth falls at her feet and as she bends down to pick it up her short skirt rises up her leg and exposes stocking tops and the pale skin of inner thigh. She holds it not quite sure of its purpose."Over your eyes." The man snaps, "and be quick."The woman feels fear swell inside her as she looks at the material held between her hands."Do it." There is no warmth, nor for that matter any feeling at all, in the man's voice. When she as tied the cloth she feels ungentle fingers test the band and then a hand grabs her and, stumbling, she is led to her settee and pushed down onto it. She presses her knees together and hugs herself to try to stop the tremors that suddenly take hold of her. She feels more than hears him walk away then a metallic click followed by something plastic falling on the floor.She jumps as the music centre bursts to life playing something loud and frantic that she does not know. The floor is vibrating with the heavy thud of the base and she is surprised when hands grab and pull her to her feet.She keeps repeating in her head, don't show fear, this will be over soon, relax, but she has to choke back a scream as strong fingers crush her breast through her clothes."Now we can play without undue notice." The man says and rips apart her short top and sends buttons flying over the carpet.Instinctively she covers herself with crossed arms. The man laughs and forces his hand up her skirt and between her legs.She clenches her teeth and holds her head still and tries not to show how she feels so he will not get any further excitement from her. She feels him fumble with the zip at her hip and the skirt fall to the floor.He steps back and looks at the woman before him. She is in good shape and he savours the thought of the time to come. The black bra supports rounded breasts which show over the thin lace. A flat stomach and trim hips meet his approval as too do the thin narrow panties which show a neatly trimmed triangle of fair hair. He turns her around and grabbing material pulls it sharply up between her legs.He barely hears her g but his erection grows as her hands fly down to ease the pain in her crotch. In the blackness of the woman's head see tenses for the next pain but none comes and she has to relax her muscles then shivers with the thought of this is what he is waiting for.The time in the dark void passes without any way to measure and the pounding music seems to have no beginning or end but repeats the same mind numbing beat.She wants to say something, anything, to the man to make him not hurt her but no words come to her and she waits. She had thought the waiting, after the phone call, was going to drive her insane. With the way he was dealing with the evening she realised that he had known it would do. Oh Christ why did I keep those photos? Why didn't I install that burglar alarm when I thought about it? She is shocked back to reality as hands grab her and force her to walk blindly. "What do you want?The words sound pathetic even as she speak them and she hopes he does not hear her weakness over the music. Her legs hit something and her hands reach out letting her know she is up against the settee back. The man says in her ear, "Take off your bra."She reaches back and unclips the hooks and tries to take it off without showing her fear. The man moves to kneel facing her, on the settee, and takes both breasts in his hands and gently caresses them.The woman breaths hard and thinks about her child sleeping safely at her friends home and hopes her body will not respond. She feels wetness on her breast and the familiar sensation as her nipples expand.The man smiles and rolls flesh between thumb and finger watching as small bumps rise around the woman's nipples. He reaches down and pulls the skin back over his erection. He always likes the first stroke as the slight pain burns at the head. With his left hand he traces small circles on her body as his right hand moves faster and faster bringing him to he brink. His right hand leaves his prick and darts out and hits the woman's left breast in a upwards swipe. The woman cries out and the man shudders with the effort of withholding his ejaculation.   When he has controlled himself he is pleased to see tears appearing from

Once I learned how to "shop for Fem" I became a ShopAholic! Could go every day to look for another new female garment. I even found myself buying 2 and 3 of the same just because the fabric and print turned me on so much.   Wearing these cute fem, girlie girl skirts and dresses and girdles and garter belts and opaque thigh high nylons and pantyhose just drives me crazy  horny! Being so turned on with the pastel colors and cute prints for myself makes me know how I would like to dress another CD Gurl for Sexilicious encounters.

I have found a fuck buddy. Met face to face, seems nice enough and actually single. Was direct on the phone that I want to use him for sex. I have started recleaning and reorgnisnig the flat so definately preparing for company. stocked up the wine rack, beers in the fridge, heaps of meat and fish in the freezer. Bought silk PJ and silk underwear - not into the whole leather crap. Buying rope and going to practice hog-tying him for my own pleasure. Etsy have some really cute strap-ons, girly ones with pretty patterns. Candle play wax. Should write a list of things I want to practice and experiement. TBC (to be continued).   C

She is Fickle i am bound and gagged, helpless and vulnerable, and the Lady i have surrendered to inflicts exquisite agonies upon me. The distinctively male parts of my anatomy are often the focus of Her attention, and She imposes Her sadistic will upon me as i squirm and quiver within my bonds. my blubbering and whimpering empower Her; they bring Her joy and feed Her passion. i have dreamed of serving Her since before i knew what sexuality is, and my joy and passion are the reflection of Hers. i am a painslut; i sometimes think of myself as my Lady's whimperbitch. my serving as Her whimperbitch, however, is but one facet of my surrender. i have given complete control of my sexuality to Her. She keeps it locked away when i am not in Her presence. She needn't do so when i am; Her will is my chastity device, and Her will is my law, in this and all matters. If i am made to go weeks without sexual release, and am teased mercilessly and relentlessly during this time, i am to adore Her for it, and i do, even as my raging desire drowns out my every thought. She will sometimes allow me to beg for fulfillment, and i do so with all my heart. When She grants me what i crave, i adore Her for it, as i do when She does not. i crave being in Her power, and Her wielding of it thrills me. She creates the world in which She owns me. She makes not only the rules and protocols which i do all that i can to conform to, but also the fundamental laws of the reality in which i serve Her. She remakes them as it pleases Her, according to Her fickle whimsies, and sometimes without advance notice. The burden is on me to discern and comform to the laws of the newest new order. The likelihood of my doing so will often be low, and i must not find this unfair. The laws She makes are like the laws the Big Bang made; they are as they are. They impose their will upon me as they are written; i live among them as i can. Perhaps She trains me to address Her with many different titles: Mistress, Goddess, Empress, Princess, My Lady, Mea Domina, and as many more as it pleases Her. It is my task to discern which She prefers at any given moment. My success rate may not be high. So be it. Perhaps Her preferences in this matter reflect a deeper reality. Perhaps each title refers to a different facet of Her Dominant persona, and it is my duty to discern which is at the fore at any given time. What's more, there may be a unique set of laws which correspond to each of Her personas, and again, it is my duty to discern which laws apply. Perhaps Her demeanor will offer hints, but perhaps not. So be it. She moves me between worlds with but a thought, and i adore Her for it.

 Sub6677