I responded to an email today in which I wrote because ai realized I am done.   I figured I would post it here being as when I try to change my profile Collar space goes into spaz outs and threatens to lock me out. "Due to yet another year of Covid, health issues of my own, and general life, I have decided that I can no longer be a responsible Owner The desire is still there but taking a slave is a huge responsibility and time sinkI have friends and history in the kink community that I stay in touch with, which I dont delete my profiles here and on FetLife.  So there it is folks.  Have a kinky happy life.  ~~ Mz Stormz

 AcadaMay She's Royal CFNM Ladies Tea Party - Saturday 5th July   You may contact me here to reserve your place.  Most alternative events objectify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back!  Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their wine and enjoying the entertainment.  Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party every month for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again!  Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and objectify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged!  Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.

Roe v Wade   This has nothing to do with babies. If it was about babies, we'd have free healthcare. If it was about babies, you wouldn't have to pay to give birth. If it was about babies, we'd have months of paid leave. If it was about human babies, we wouldn't force mothers to have to choose to keep their job, or put their baby in daycare AT 6 WEEKS. It's ILLEGAL to take nursing kittens and puppy's from their mothers before 8 weeks. Why don't I have the same rights? This has NOTHING to do with babies. And EVERYTHING to do with suppressing a Woman's RIGHT to autonomy over her own body.

So since I'm starting to look again for someone to bring into my dynamic i've had a few questions and statements as to why I am the way I am. I have PTSD for a few reasons. 1 relates to this lifestyle we arranged a hotel meet when the Mrs was still alive. We met what we thought was one person in a hotel room. It turned out it was an ambush and 2 other men were hiding in the toilet. I was beaten unconcious and they took turns on the wife without lube or protection. Then when I was out and they had finished with her they went to work on me. I was left with internal bleeding, left for dead and issues with my backside shall we say. So if I'm asking for patience or seem to take a step back, it probably has nothing to do with you as I do have flashbacks every now and again. If we do arrange a meet it would be somewhere safe first and there will be safe words and someone around just making sure everything goes ok, they will leave when I feel comfortable. If it ever does go to a 24/7 or prolonged meets, you may notice I do wake up in night terrors, it is to do with the above. I'd ask until I fully wake up just let me come around naturally.

Devotional sense of service. The devotional service of a submissive or slave is a sublime act that a submissive/slave person provides to a dominant Master/Mistress person and this act placed on the right person must culminate in pure love.  "Master/Mistress: Someone to whom a sub surrenders totally and lovingly. Someone, a submissive trusts to love and honor her. Someone that cares for submissive mental and physical health as well as their emotional needs."  (Perry). The devotional service of a submissive/slave is directly linked to the love and respect that all the submissives and slaves of our wonderful lifestyle deserve;  even more, the benefit of honoring that spiritual devotion to service should further deepen the love for the person who provides it to us since he/she puts his/her trust in our hands. Devotional service must obey standards that largely depend on the style of the relationship in which it is applied. Each Master/Misstress has his/her style, rules, and code of conduct that he wants his submissive or slave to manifest depending on the circumstances and the moment.  "There's a whole etiquette to this, and what almost seems to be a quite rigid code of behavior to go along with it." (Kelly, 2003). It is amazing how much a Master/Mistress can learn from his/her beloved submissive or slave, which constitutes another insane doctrine about his devotion to us that takes us beyond the love we may have for him/her. The attention dedicated to the good training of the sub-slave helps us to generate confidence in the devotion provided with the certainty that there will be more rewards than punishments. The subs-slaves often display behaviors that reflect devotion, cooperation, and solidarity, and are guarded by their Master/Mistress that makes us feel proud to be part of this fabulous lifestyle. Sources Perry, V., Lifestyle Protocol As Used Kelly, S., (2003). A Kink In Her Tails. The USA, Ellora’s Cave publication.

I stand before you. A Master Hypnotist trained in the ways of seduction and coercion. The collar that enslaves you still wreathes your lovely neck you can feel it, but how it has become invisible is unclear. You sense my hunger and begin to unbutton your blouse while unrestrained, addictive pleasure courses through your mind and body. Your blouse slips silently to the floor as you begin to remove your brazier and it suffers the same fate. Hoping desperately that your Master is pleased, you help your skirt slide down your legs to join the rest of you clothing. I stand close, forcing your gaze to meet mine, extinguishing the last of your free will. I fondle your breasts then the curve of your waist. I run my hand slowly up your spine and pull you close. You shudder and and struggle to remove your panties. Now as you stand before your Master, unadorned, a tidal wave of arousal washes through you but you there is no release in sight. I motion and you sink slowly to the floor, fully naked, legs folded beneath you. Looking up at your Master, enraptured, doe eyed, staring longingly into my face, you place your hands on your thighs just the way you know that you should and feel the magic of my will and words bind you firmly into that position. I touch your lower lip with my thumb and slowly open your mouth. I slip my fingers every so carefully around the lips that will soon caress my cock. You feel yourself growing wetter, wetter everywhere as your desire for me grows but still you are not allowed to cum. I touch your cheek, the lobe of your ear, slide my hand past your supple shoulder and as I reach down and let my finger encircle your left nipple my hard cock brushes your cheek and you are set aflame by passion as I command you cum. Explosions of rapture seize your body and you are racked in orgasm. Cum now! Harder! Cum for your Master! Harder! I slip my stiff cock into your mouth and as you close your soft lips around it another wave of frenzied pleasure rips through your body. Heaving in orgasm you suck and you lick frantically trying to make me climax. Finally, you taste the saltiness of me, feel the warmth on the back of your throat as I cum into your mouth. Greedily you swallow my gift as the next wave of indescribable pleasure tears through your body setting every nerve, every cell aflame. I leave you burning as I slowly extract my member. Your mouth hangs open wide, not knowing what else to do. You still can't move as the last bit of my germ drips from the corner of your mouth onto your nipple. I look down at my perfect slave and tell you to relax, sleep now and you collapse wearily to the floor spent, happy to the core of your soul that you pleased your Master this time. I pick you up, take you to bed. I gently kiss your lips, the small of your throat, a nipple, naval, your clit. I circle about you. Open your trembling legs. Run my hands down the velvety, warm flesh of your inner thighs as phase two of your training begins.

Why am I here? Well,  I like browsing.  I like staying in touch with folks I know here. I enjoy seeing how people present themselves.   But I'm not eagerly hunting for a sub. I've got a primariy relationship and a robust secondary (though he lives too far away for my total satisfaction), and I've got lots of adult responsibilities.  What does that mean for subs who contact me? It means there are no guarantees and a lower than usual likelihood of me pursuing anything beyond local contacts for munches and socializing.  It also means that if I do have an interest,  my pace may be absolutely glacial.   Side bar,  if you come at me with an immature,  sex focused approach, take issue with me being here, ignore my stated priorities or generally act like a jerk, it's not going to get you very far. I reserve the right to block anyone, and really,  it's a benefit for both ends and prevents wasting time for all involved. 

this is my dream This is not a fantasy. This is the ache beneath my ribs— the lullaby I’ve hummed to the stars since I first learned to wait. I have waited with my heart open like soft hands, through silence, through stalling, through the almosts that never quite stayed. I dream of a man who is not just Daddy in name, but Daddy in soul— the kind who meets me at the door with arms that feel like Sunday morning. Where I kneel, not in performance, but in reverence— because I know I am held. Because I know I am safe. I want to kiss his feet every day— on the good days, with laughter between us, on the sad days, when the world is heavy, on the angry days, when we tremble but choose not to run. Not out of duty, but devotion. I will pray over him. Not because he needs saving— but because I need to witness his peace, his purpose, his path made light. Because loving him is my quiet altar. I don’t want a scene. I want a sanctuary. I want someone who learns my rhythm and holds my chaos like something holy. To be kissed on the forehead because I am more than pretty— I am precious. To be told "good girl" in a voice that knows I am doing my best, not just being obedient. To not have to explain why I cry after sweetness, why soft love undoes me, why I tremble when someone finally stays. I’m not waiting to be played with. I’m waiting to be kept.

It may have taken nearly two years but the world is back and so am I.   Very excited to meet you!   Let's chat.     

6:00 me: Should I take a nap? It's kinda late. Maybe I should just power through... ... 6:03 me: Okay, a quick nap. The puppy will wake me up. ... ... And she did. At 9:00. So that is why I baked a cake and cleaned the kitchen at midnight.  She woke me barking like mad at the noise outside. She is the nosiest of neighbors. I even bought her an ottoman and set it near the window, though in truth it's also for my benefit so she'll stop ruining the pillows on the chair she has claimed as her lookout spot. Does she use the ottoman? Of course not. It's now after 1. I'm awake. I need to be up in five hours, bribe her to eat, pack, not forget the stuff in the fridge, and get on the road. Chances of me being on time? Place your bets. 

You have to appreciate when someone goes the extra mile to let you know they aren't stalking you, they just like your journal. Nothing ridiculous has happened lately and I haven't felt like diving into the serious. Unless you count that I am so obsessed with playing this game that my left arm gets sore from holding the phone. God damn random user named Michael tried to overthrow my supreme reign, like I was going to let that happen. Kiss it, Michael. He came in third place and I am not ashamed to say I'm glad someone else swooped in and stole second out of nowhere. I usually don't have much of a competitive streak, I don't think. I play games and take risky chances because it's just a game. And that whole big risk, big reward thing. I might also like to trip people up and will ruin my card hand to make sure you don't get the seven of diamonds. Maybe I am competitive. Or just a pain in the ass.  Is bigfoot real? Back up your statement with facts. 

Today is a bad pain day.  Physcially, emotionally and mentally.   i am beyond thankful i work from home and do not need to face the world, aside from a visit to my parents house this evening for dinner.  Agoraphobia can be crippling and the very thought of stepping a toe outside of my "safe zones" is enough to throw me into a panic.  With my extremely high blood pressure and resting heart rate, i need to do all i can do keep myself calm.  The last thing needed to add to the litany of issues is a stroke.   On a happy not i found an adorable notebook and metallic pens (my glitter ones died...sad) to keep track of my daily blood pressure readings, and soon to be mood and food intake.   Daddy said He is so proud that i am finally working on fixing me.  the body parts are easy.  it's the mental part that scares me.  i truly do not know if i am ready to face my damage.  i hope i find a really good therapist that doesn't mind if a stuffy or two come along on my appointments...  

Since adding journal entries won't cause my profile to need re-approval, I'm adding this after reading some of the profiles on the site.   I'm looking for trans Dommes or switches. No men or women unless you're exceptional, sorry, I've been attracted to trans women since 2011 (I was bisexual then). I'm not looking for sub trans girls because being a Domme doesn't really come naturally to me. I can be a Domme for sure, have been for years since it's so hard to find Dommes of both the trans and cis types. I also met too many subs and was interested in cyber RPs a lot then. Not so much anymore unless you're really good, because my tastes have changed over 15 years.   I very rarely chat to couples though I used to meet good ones on Reddit. Maybe 1 so far. It depends on if you're sincerely interested in trans girls or sissies.   I like watching gangbang and reverse gangbang porn, but probaby won't do it IRL. Not even a sissy orgy which I dream about so often. Fantasies and reality should be separate. I want someone exclusive in general, and please don't contact me if you're part of or looking for a poly household. Couples or being part of a throuple (a third wheel, not a fourth), will be very rare if at all and I'd probably be looking for my own lover anyway even if I was part of one, so you might be better off contacting someone who's poly.   I watch cuckold and cuckquean porn, and it'll be most likely a polite no if you're interested in acting out those things IRL. I don't mind acting as the occasional sissy cuck who cleans up a woman after she gets a huge fat cock, or maybe as the trans bull in some situations. Depends on what mood the three of us are in. I also do think of cuckqueaning trans or cis women sometimes, such as tying them up and making them watch me with a younger or sexier chick with bigger tits and an arse. That said, those RPs will probably be for hookups only, and I'd avoid them in general. I don't want to get into a relationship and destroy it with either type of cucking, though if you have strong fantasies about it, we can roleplay it anytime. For example, with dildos, fleshlights, body forms, etc.    If you're a cuckoldress or a polyandrous hotwife/polygamous couple/polygynous Dom, please avoid contacting me unless you understand that no matter what, I won't be completely submissive to you forever or a 'perfect cuckold'. I could be in the bedroom during the RP and Dom if you ask me to have sloppy seconds later, but I won't be exclusive to you at all or a complete slave, unless you can devote yourself to me as a Domme in the exact same way.    I prefer gentle, caring Mommy Dommes instead of heartless and cruel bitch Dommes, though I don't mind some sadistic and humiliating or hurtful RPs if you enjoy them too. I just want a Domme to serve who isn't selfish and all about herself, which seems to be most of them. A Domme is slightly more in charge of the relationship than her sub, but it doesn't mean she ignores and disregards her sub's feelings. Think of the dynamic in the same way as a male Dom who has to take care of his sub as well even if he dominates her, or else she'll find someone else.   If you didn't take note of this in my previous journal entries, please don't contact me at all if you're a pro Domme or expect any sort of tributes and dumb contracts to be signed which only benefit you. I've seen them all and IDC in the slightest about paying to act as if I'm being cared for. Some of you are disappointed in what you find online and IRL, and I don't really blame you because most subs and Dom/mes aren't very good at what they claim to do. It's very frustrating to put in efforts for your relationships or dates and find someone who half-arses it. I get it, but your previous disappointments have nothing to do with me, and vice versa. I've had enough people contact me on here and other social media explaining that a Domme needs tribute to show obedience and that you feel you've wasted enough time putting in efforts for useless subs. It's a joke and a pretty laughable reason. I've heard of enough pseudo-Dommes who ask for money and then vanish without giving a promised video or RP, or the ones who realize that it can be a very easy cash grab and pretend to be exclusive while contacting a million subs to get money up front, and then release nothing or piss-poor quality content. I don't see why my money should go to a user or liar, and I probably have no reason to trust people more than they trust me. We can just keep it mutually beneficial and respectful without exchanging money or false promises, and if that doesn't work out, we move on.   Happy hunting, all.

A list of kinks/fetish I'm into since I've been asked Bondage, impact play, roleplay, sensory play, power exchange, orgasm control, humiliation, degradation, dirty talk, chastity, CBT (cock and ball torture), foot worship, facesitting, smothering, human furniture, slapping, verbal domination, sissification, pet play, boot worship, ruined orgasms, brat taming, protocol training, objectification, slave tasks, domestic training.pegging aspect

I want a dominate woman to take me under her wing. To feminize and transform me into a full woman. I mean learn how to sit, walk, talk, think,...... everything. But to also transform me physically as well. Hormones, body contouring, breast implants, FFS and finally SRS.To transform me into a woman so much that no one would know that I was EVER a male.

First Newsletter from Tawsingham (and Dragao Verde) websites, Spring 2023   The websites themselves are still under construction, and will be launched soon.   If you want to keep in touch, sign up for news at our new website   Copy of the broadcast below:   Olá! Welcome to the first ever news from the Tawsingham Network, Spring 2023.   What we’ve done since Summer   Slideshow of photos to illustrate the words!    Click on the title, and an explanation of what you’re seeing will appear.   I now have full control of my publishing and royalties, again. I published Guide for New Maids] and Pretty Maids All in a Row.   Both worthwhile purchases, particularly if you may come here as a maid.   We’ve many more new titles, but we will wait until we have the website up and running.   Publishing is vital, to add much-needed extra income.   Moreover royalties will help fund the project, as part of my plans to ensure Tawsingham and Dragão Verde will carry on, even after I am gone.   It would be a shame, with all the work put in, from all involved, if these communities die with me!   Books are useful to attract interest, and recruit volunteers online, or in person, too. Kathi has set up IT facilities with a huge, robust, shared hard disc, regular backups, itself backed up. I’ve often taken out my girls Jessica, Kathi Jessica, Kathi and myself in Tomar. It’s vital to me and to them that they go out with me, to show I’m proud of them, not hiding them from the world as ‘my guilty secret’. I’ve laid hundreds of donated wall and floor tiles, in the maids’ bathroom/utility room! See slideshow! I’m nearly ready to put in the sanitary-ware, taps, etc. Kathi has installed a secure, fast server, with open-source operating system, connected to the national fibre-optic network, with WiFi and, potentially, wired connection to our computers. I’ve installed a tiled, wooden work surface and open shelving for non-perishable goods in the maids’ kitchen, so all Kathi uses to cook with, is on open display, easily accessible. I had her put everything she needed, in the way she wanted, then built shelves at a depth and spacing to match, to give a compact, ordered display. See slideshow! We’ve had several successful dinner parties with both scene and vanilla guests, more are planned. We’ve also welcomed other scene friends, a local scene couple, and Kathi’s cycling friends. I’ve installed a tiled work surface for crockery and cookware awaiting washing-up, with shelves above for all the crockery, bowls, mugs, tea and coffee, etc. in the scullery.   I’ve done a lot of wall tiling in the kitchen and scullery too, put in a marble shelf for washing-up liquid, scourers, and other possibly we things, and a rail to hang tea-towels to dry.   All on the same basis, designing shelves to fit the need. See slideshow!   I’ve also acquired more new-to-us crockery and cutlery, added to what we had, and will use short-term.   I put lots aside too, for when we equip the gentry kitchen, as well. Kathi went to a Womens’ Munch in Lisbon, we both went to an all-night scene Xmas party there, slept before and afterwards in my little van. We now have a place to stay next time.   We both visited good friends where we’d done pony-play. We’ll stay in touch.   Then we drove to The BDSM Villa near Porto for their Xmas party, and slept in their dungeon afterwards, a four- hour drive back.  See TheBDSMVilla Xmas party pictures on FetLife! We went back to The BDSM Villa for a big formal dinner and all-night party there in the New Year, by train. It took five hours. We’ll use the express next time, cut it to four hours.  Going to scene events was a deliberate decision to get out, meet people who go out too. We now have a much wider circle of active Portuguese scene friends. Particularly the folk at The BDSM Villa. I may use their place for events, one day, if ever I have the enough volunteers. The next big step forward I’ll finish tiling, electrics in the maid quarters, once it has a ceiling. The maids will sleep in the attic space above.   I need to do this for any maids I bring back in September!   Putting-in this ceiling and the floor above is work that ideally I would have done years ago. But I didn’t know how to do it then, did not have the skills, or the money to pay builders.   I know how to do it now. I just need the fairly modest cost of materials, €500 or so.   I need help too, as much of the work has to be done above head height, (hard with my axial spondylarthritis), and ladder work is not safe to do alone. Kathi would help, but it’s not what she’s best suited to do.   Ideally I’d employ a local tradesman friend. He’s worked for me before and would do it well at modest cost.   You know I recruit maids! I need help with the building, too; someone more skilled than I am, or unskilled.   If you can help with this, and also make it here, please get in touch as soon as possible.   A heartfelt thank you to those who have responded to previous appeals, your help has been invaluable. One, at least, of those I hope to recruit as a maid here, knows how to take on the day-to-day gardening work, to grow fresh fruit and vegetables for us all in my garden here. More part-time gardeners will be welcome! I’ve resolved to enjoy the journey from now on, with company, not put my life on hold until it is finished! A job I have 'on the back burner' is insulating the loft with first a layer of Rockwool, then expanded polystyrene, (leftovers and surplus from external insulation elsewhere, or packaging).   Then, I'll do the electric wiring for lights and power on the upper floor.   Finally, cover it with 18 mm OSB boarding.   I could delegate these tasks to anyone who’ll volunteer and competent.   It would suit someone who prefers to work alone, pacing themselves. It does not take much training or experience, though it helps to be neat and precise.   I’ve already put in a drop-down loft-ladder and lighting up there to make this easier. The polystyrene and Rockwool, some boards are up there too. I hope this scene-setting encourages volunteers to turn out to help! Once the loft is boarded out, and I have the money, I’ll get the

My goodness....     A severe health emergency took me away along with the vanilla job. but it gave me a chance to figure out what I need and want in my dom/master/lover...whatever you wish to fill that blank with. I can't wait to explore this site further and answer some messages so so so so many messages! please be patient as I go through them all. A little about me further       I have a special needs child more on that in private messages it is my intent to be the best parent I can be you will not see a photo of him or meet him until I feel comfortable with you and we are in the "Serious" zone of this I am taking this lifestyle seriously as we have a void that needs filling beyond sex with me.     I am submissive seeking a dom or master perhaps a couple to join as a family? The best way I can describe my needs and what I expect out of this life is a "1950s housewife" if I mess up I fully expect to be disciplined as a woman would have been back then. if I please you then I expect to be rewarded as a woman would have been back then. Not much else to add in this note except see you in the threads! 

Communication is key: Make sure you are clear about your desires and boundaries, and listen actively to your partner's needs and limits. Respect boundaries: Always respect your partner's limits and never push them to do something they are not comfortable with. Safe, sane and consensual: Always practice safe and consensual BDSM, and never engage in activities that could cause serious harm. Learn and educate yourself: Take the time to learn about BDSM practices, safety measures and the different types of play. Be honest and authentic: Be true to yourself and your desires, and never pretend to be something you're not. Empathy and compassion: Show empathy and compassion towards your partner and always strive to create a positive experience for them. Be flexible and open-minded: Be open to new experiences and be willing to adapt your approach when needed. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your actions and be willing to make amends if you make a mistake. Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally, and make sure that you are in the right mindset before engaging in BDSM activities. Have fun: Remember that BDSM should be enjoyable for both partners, so don't take things too seriously and have fun with it.

Fall and Winter 2021 update. Lisa's desires for younger/youthful gurls: "If you are a younger Domme Gurl; whom would like an older sub/slave woman, and you would like to take that extra Control over her. Your using and humiliating her lifestyle to your pleasure; then please read on further. And, what could be more humiliating for an older woman when she kneels incestuously before someone young enough to be her daughter or granddaughter?" A lovely lady lesbian, lecherous, lascivious, seeking similar, saucy, sexy, sophisticated, stylish, social, slender, smooth, similar senioress sisters. update information........Lisa and Brenda now live here together as two wonderful lovingly respectful, honestly honorable ladies from another gender. We so enjoy the compatibility of each other, our integrity, character, honesty, candor with each other---appreciation it is, totally. The feeling of being subjugated to another in all aspects of my daily life--- is an unfilled dream of so many of us gurls. Lisa is now finally retired, and she would lose total Control if someone was "in charge" of her breasts constantly, for they are the most sensitive part of her whole body !!! Sex, is rapidly moving to the back burner so to speak---due to these advancing years!

Message to women of all natures on here. Not to sound paranoid but I am noticing a flux of messages from European men trying to invite themselves into my company. Can you all be vigilant if a man uses the words relocation and marriage in the same sentence. I have been bitten once by a German man who in my opinion clearly invites himself across Europe into people's homes for free food and stay.  I am assuming there may be a European influencer advising men this is ok. There also seems to be a bit of a scam where a man claims they travel all over the world and then says they won't be back till X date.  I think this is another scam where they claim to be successful and the travelling lifestyle appeals to most but I think it is just another scam.   Luckily, I have not been bitten by that nonsense but ladies be vigilante, give the normal men a chance and the ones acting strange and pretending to be high flyers, don't give them any of your time.   If you want a rich old man go to SugarDaddy.com, if you want a normal kinky man just be patient and kind to others.  

I Wonder Who We Are... I often look at myself thru the eyes of my mind. Who do I **think** I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? I wonder how many others take the time to self-reflect like this? I try to do this weekly.  Sometimes late at night as I bask in the quiet night’s arms I find my mind drifting to the day gone by. I replay the days events and scrutinize my actions at times.  TODAY, did I live my life to my best potential? The gift of life I was given is a treasure that we so often under value. It's easy to get caught up in the daily struggles that inflict us as we sometimes dredge thru the day thankful it's over.  Guilty! After all we are all human.  In a world filled with hate, selfishness, struggles and woes sometimes its all we can do not to scream. Allow a blood curling sound to exit our lungs, travel up our throats picking up momentum as it exits our lips with a shiver echoing thru the darkness to find no respite.  A primal sound that perhaps evolved from our primal ancestors to never develop or change in the millions of years gone by. Signaling our frustrations and every other imaginable negative energy that exists within us today. As we yearn to release it all allowing them to somehow be absorbed into the cosmos, never to return. A cry for help perhaps? Perhaps.  Perhaps it's just an evacuation of all that we resent exiting us hoping we can fill the vacancy with the positive. I like to think that's the case with me. But as I look around each day, looking for positive energy, from my fellow man I am left starving. Wanting to see more beauty I can absorb to act as my muse. Guiding me to be a better me as it motivates me to want to feed love back into the world.  But alas, it has become a daunting task. Disappointment abounds the empty caverns of my heart and mind. Have we become so shallow as a society that the only thing that now defines us is instant and momentary self gratification? Often at the expense of others. Is this what thousands of centuries of evolution has led us to? NAY I say! Not I today! Unable to find it readily at the hand of my two legged peers I turn to nature. I find myself being blindly led to the pasture where my four legged friends reside. I hear their whinnies as they see me approaching. Running towards me anxious to see me. Besides me walks my fury four legged best friend. My canine soul mate who has dedicated his life to unselfishly and unconditionally love me. To never leave me no matter what I do or how I treat him. He is bound for life to me. Arriving closer to the gate a thunderous echo of stampeding hooves envelopes the air. Filling my ears with its roar as it approaches closer. Standing on the lush green carpet of grass I am surrounded by these four legged majestic creatures that so easily could do me harm. My smaller companion eyeing them carefully under his protective gaze.  Wet nuzzles against my hands searching for treats. This action is common place here. All fighting for my attention as there are so many and I am only but one. The creative one among the group, finding no need to challenge the rest for the position of my hands. He quietly walks up behind me. I am made aware of his presence among the distraction as I feel rubbing against my back. His side turned head using my back as a scratching post to satisfy his itch?  No my friends that is not the self centered case of this half ton creature. He is saying, "Daddy I am here. I missed you. Where have you been?" He is most certainly not the alpha but nor is he the omega. He falls somewhere in between the alphabetically defining realm of personality letters.  Turning to let him know I acknowledge his presence with rubs I manage just a few. The other horses quickly pushing him away to look to my moving hands for what they desire. Treats and rewards to fill their already fat full bellies. Yet he stands alone a mere stones toss away watching. Reaching into my pockets I retrieve a handful of treats. Allowing the surrounding herd to acknowledge them with their keen sense of smell I toss them in the opposite direction of my inamorato who stands there with no desire to chase such petty treats. The rest of the herd now busy vying to retrieve the hand tossed delicacies he approaches me. I hold his head against me with love and affection. It is as much his fuel as it is my own. I turn to exit, followed at a respectable distance by my adoring and adored friend.  Holding it open signaling him the permission he seeks to exit the field and the others who physically resemble him. As the three of us stand there, me enjoying and soaking up the moment, I can't help but observe. Acknowledging and absorbing the actions that just took place.  My plotted journey observed and responded to. The actions and reactions as I entered. The easily manipulated distraction I created that all but one fell prey to.  His dedication to follow me outside his defined boundaries and the company of the others physically like him who have near matching DNA. His choice to leave the safety of his peers signals to me that he finds safety and comfort in my company. His trust in me that I always have and always will be his caregiver, his provider, his protector fills my now empty heart.  The many journeys we have traveled together since his birth are safely tucked away in my mind. Easily retrieved to reminisce upon when needed. As I stand there admiring this majestic creature of God before me my mind retrieves from the filing cabinet labeled with his name. Quickly sorting thru day 3 of his birth begins to play.  He is laying curled upon a stack of hay within a stall of the barn. His protective mother standing guard over him. Her ears pinned back warning anyone that intends to do him harm to stay away. Her eyes soften and ears relax as she recognizes me as the source of the sound. Carefully not to startle the sleeping foal I slowly approach. His mother content with who the human visitor is allows me safe passage.  I find myself first sitting next to him admiring his beauty. Astounded by the miracle of birth that he is. His soft breathing seen in the way the straw beneath his nose moves back and forth as he inhales and exhales so gently. Leaning in closer to touch him I look at his guardian looking down at me as if silently asking for her permission to get closer. When I see no warnings of alarm in her I move my hand gently running it across his neck.  His days old fur so soft I am jealous not to have something as comforting as this to sleep upon myself. He releases a soft sigh as if finding comfort in my loving strokes.  Now realizing that the submissive love his mother has given me extends to the trust of her new born, I inch closer. Soon I find myself laying along side his tiny body. Curled up next to him I drape an arm over him. Another soft sudden exhale of breath reaches my ears. Is he communicating his pleasure in feeling my warm body against? Is he capable of such a thought process? I lay there for what feels like hours pressed against him. Only to realize as he begins to finally stir that it’s only been 10 minutes by my watches time.   Emancipated from this world lost in head space I return the the physical by his movement.  He turns his head, in what seems to be, a search to find the source of his sighs. I softly look into his eyes hoping he can peer into my own and see the love and adoration I have for him. THAT moment etched in my mind forever more NEVER to be lost or forgotten.   Slowly he rises as if not to harm me and stands over my still prone form. I find my heart overflowing with love. If only I could find this form of love in my own breed. His mother content that no harm will befall him under my watch, complete and loyal trust bestowed upon me finds comfort in our bond to now lay down herself.  Obviously exhausted by the ritual of birth and having to provide  protection to her child. Her 1400 lb mass taking up much of the stall but careful not to invade my space. Suddenly I find myself lost in thought. Who do I think I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? To THEM.  A brushing against my calf returns me to the world of today as the drawer filled memories are closed. In the universe of my mind I lost a momentary connection to this plane of existence.  My canine comrade standing now by my side waiting for direction. He looks at me then glances to the tack room and back at me. As if he is asking me, in the best way he knows, “Are we going for a ride?” my eyes look down at him as I rub his head. “Not today good boy. Today daddy just needed affirmation to who he is. My hearts full again. Thank you.” “Go get him and let’s go back in. Daddy has work to do.” Doing what he’s been taught to do under my caring tutelage he bounds off to bring back my blessed 4 legged gift. A simple double click from me, seeing his adopted brother heading his way, he knows its time to go back. With the look of a bowed head he walks to me as I rub his face and ears. I whisper in his ears, “Good boy.” As if content to hear these words he heads for the gate. Opening the gate I let him return to his pasture mates where he looks like just another horse. “Come on dog. Daddy has to go search for someone! “ he says as he turns to go back into the house. Because now I know who and what I am. I know what I was meant to be.

I'm told that I should say what I offer as part of this, so here goes: I'm a skilled writer, proofreader, editor, and researcher, and can deliver information in a sensible, easy to absorb, fashion. I can perform basic admin tasks, including maintaining databases, answering emails/messages, and taking minutes. I'm intelligent, a good listener, with a good level of empathy, and am told I give a good massage. I can cook, clean, bake, and am (slowly) learning to make my own clothes. I do my share of emotional labour and have a good memory (for some things, at least). I can provide references. I hope at least some of that catches the eye and makes you (whoever you are) feel that I could be a really useful person for you.

a fresh bdsm test for you: == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Exhibitionist  100% Submissive  100% Girl  91% Degradee  88% Experimentalist  84% Ageplayer  84% Rope bunny  82% Primal (Prey)  80% Slave  69% Brat  65% Masochist  58% Voyeur  42% Vanilla  37% Pet  36% Non-monogamist  0% Switch  http://bdsmtest.org/r/PyvQrePt

June 2024 All the years that have passed since my last entry and I'm in an insane mirror world where I'm trapped with him again. Choosing the kids again. My soul is gone, there's no love and laughter to greet with, no holding hands and thrilling looks, no anticipation... of good or bad. I am still No longer in steel, proof how I'm undesirable. He is a hollow shell, a ghost of who he was - all he was. The man who hobbles through my apartment is bitter, broken, deeply unhappy.... the attitude has become apathy, the confidence has become bitterness. The grief muscles cover his face until he's unrecognizable and the missing limbs make him think something inside is missing too. What once was powerful now is pitiful and whatever we once had; faded memories. I try to force him to leave, but he laughs as he curls up on a chair outside with his laptop... homeless yet not in the least. the kids scream at me about why can't I just be a good wife, a good cook, a better housecleaner? Why can't I just shut my mouth and let him die in peace? (Though they know i may go first) They can't understand the sorrow in my empty eyes and as he revives again in simple motions. They also don't understand... the hate, the rage, the abuse, the ugly words and texts. Neverending abuse I lived through for more than decades to TRY to give them a dad. They can't see what I go through - both good and bad - every time he rounds a corner. The way I flinch when his head whips around or the way I refuse to put my back to a wall... anywhere. They don't know I remember his magic hands on my body or the best friend by my side for decades. They don't see when we smile at a shared memory that it hurts both of us.  They blame me, as well he's taught them. Hell, I did right, but I blame me too. I've tried, so. Fucking. Hard. For years to forgive and forget. But when his hands grab my neck I react, when he gently touches me, and I know what pain is next, i can't stop freezing. When he kisses me and I sob.... he walks away with a look of disgust, hate, retribution. Away enough to hear me cry and beg forgiveness, enough to hear me beg to be his again, no love even, just property. Beg for the gag, the collar, the pain, the burns and broken. The plead for the hood so I don't see him and he can't see me. To even be taken, this life from the kids in exchange for death or use. Anything but this horrible hell I suffer every single day.  But what is it a sadist wants? REAL PAIN. What is more painful that making a slave a single mother? Anything more soul destroying to hear her beg to choose you over them, to see you've won. They don't want her, they want you. To hand her the loaded gun and laugh that she won't pull the trigger because she won't leave the kids with that final thought.  My mom destroyed my childhood, but in disliking herself - my mom ruined my life too, by taking hers.  I can't  

A slave define destiny ; A slave surrenders all its human rights and civil liberties and indeed it has no real need of them. The slave is after all just a mere nonentity that is the owned property of its lawful owner. A slave is not its owners spouse, lover, friend, associate, colleague; it is its owners owned property...period. The slave cannot say what it pleases, do what it pleases or go where it pleases. It can only do what it is told and go where it is told.  Being a slave is by no means an easy option in life. A slave must have plentiful labor to keep it busy during the day so it’s never really idle.  Some owners require it to endure painful suffering in order to alleviate their own stressful anxieties and/or to enhance their three dimensional cathartic euphoria and improve and maintain their general well being. Even when safety is ensured it is no easy task for the slave to endure.  it has been the custom and tradition for a slave to be kept completely in various types of restraint to restrict but not prevent movement. Such restraints have varied but included shackles, locked or soldered collars, locked chastity restraints. These have served a purpose of demonstrating to the slave and to others that it is property that owns and has access to nothing of its own and that it is completely owned and under the absolute power of its designated owner. It also additionally served to reinforce the slavery through humiliation, degradation and subjugation.    When it comes to clothing there is little room for compromise. Clothing for a slave is a privilege and slaves clothing is chosen for them, they embrace the Masters desires plain and simple . Failure to adopt this simple rule will give the slave ideas above his station.    A slave belongs to its owner and is on the periphery of its owner’s life, not at the center of the owner’s life. It places a servile and support function role only. Its conduct in slavery must be impeccable and it must never ever let its owner down.  A slave is never allowed to look at its owner's face.  A slave should never ever have access to the same luxuries that a freeborn person has. It should be housed in a small locked room or a cage when it is resting or sleeping or otherwise not required. Adequate heating and ventilation provided along with food and drink and mobile toilet facilities during its confinement stay.  Once owned the slave should not have any further contact with family or friends nor should it watch television, listen to the radio, read newspapers, periodicals, books, use the computer, or telephone and write to anyone. It also has no right of complaint about its treatment as a slave or any right of appeal to a third party.  It is property that is owned and so it must remain. Once negotiations have ceased and agreement reached about the parameters of the said slavery, the slave itself must offer itself unconditionally and not place any hindrance in the way of its owner’s legitimate right to use her owned property as she herself chooses within the agreed parameters.   

Part One    I have you in My grasps, under My complete control, you are sitting there collar and leashed bound, bending to My every wish… or you will be. My thought as I looked at the picture of the man I was about to meet for dinner.  I gave My attire a once over and checked My bag to make sure that I had everything for the night.  While walking out the door, I made a phone call to one of my friends that would be meeting up with me later.  Everything was set to go.    A breath taking beauty walked thought the doors at Blue Moon, A nice but private place. You had been talking to Me for a month now and could not believe your luck. This was going to be one of the best nights in your life or so you thought while I sat down.   We had a nice meal and a few drinks. The night was looking good for you or so you thought, While you left to go to the bath room, Islipped something into your drink to make it a little easier to get you to the house. You wake up in a dark room with a leather collar around your neck.  A black leash was hooked on to make sure that my new toy wouldn’t go anywhere.  Your hands bound with a spreader bar in the middle.  Feet shackled to the wall of My dungeon room.  With a crop, blindfold and CBT in My hand.  First things first I start to put on the cbt, but with no luck for you are too hard at the moment, so I started to take other matters in to hand.  I take My crop and start to slap it against your cock... Telling you to make me happy with letting me put this toy on.  And I dangle it in front of you… punishment for not doing so will be severe.  And you want to please your Mistress, right? I ask. No response from you.  “I’m not   happy”, I said.  And swat another hit to your cock… this time a little yelp came out.  “Do I have your attention, now”…. You answer with a strong but held back “yes Ma’am”.  “Now I told you that this needs to go on you, and you are not obeying me,

My story......Back in 2007 I filed for divorce divorce after 20 years of marriage. I got very tired of his narcissistic behaviors. There was one time that I should have called the police on him and I didn't and that's when my ex attempted to choke my oldest child, because she said something under her breath and he heard it. It was Israel also in 2007 that I was introduced to this lifestyle, by a doctor friend of mine. He was the one to train me so to speak and introduce me to it. I am very thankful for him.  in 2009, my divorce was finalized, the day before my 52nd birthday.  I have had many subs and slaves over the years. Mostly part time.  People have asked me why don't I have one now and that is because when I moved to Florida from Connecticut I released my sub/slave.  It's very difficult to find one that is not a "do me" type. I am looking for a very specific type. I am looking for one that will be able to mix vanilla and Ds. I'm also looking for a long term relationship. I'm not looking for a live in, at this time. Please be sure to read the rest of my journal entrie. 

  Not my words but found this interesting;   Five Stages Of Degradation   Stage 1: DenialThe subject has not yet acknowledged the reality in which it exists. It may see Your intentions but believe You are not willing to go through with them, or it may imagine You are playing a game with it. Moving quickly beyond this stage is typically not difficult, but while doing so, keep Your longterm goals in mind.   Stage 2: AngerThe subject begins to realize what Your intentions are. it frequently reacts with outrage, threats, or aimless animosity. The louder these are, the greater the subject’s potential for eventual harnessing and use, since loudness is directly proportional to fear.   Stage 3: BargainingThe subject has exhausted its capacity for anger. It is now prepared to accept some degree of Your authority. Exercise care in this stage, as overt force may induce it to regress to the previous stage. On the other hand, any slackening in Your authority will produce an unsatisfactory result. Make use of its weaknesses, physical or mental, in order to unbalance and debilitate it further.   Stage 4: DespairHaving failed to retain any scrap of its persona at the bargaining table, and seeing no way out, the subject falls into despair. Take this moment to step back calmly. Allow it to understand what it has become.   Stage 5: AcceptanceIn order for the subject to move out of despair into a productive state, You must draw its attention to a goal outside itself that it can achieve. Any task will do that will occupy its deflated faculties and give it a feeling of success. Some subjects may take a perverse pleasure in the state of degradation itself, but don’t count on this. Examples of good tasks include retrieving an , obeying simple commands, or expressing gratitude to You.   Not all subjects will present all stages in the typical order. A subject accustomed to degradation will likely already find itself at stage 5, while a raw subject may need multiple revisits of stages 1 through 4 before it has been adequately broken down. 

I find it tether offensive that too few people have actually read my profile. I mean I put forth the effort to not only share a bit of myself and what I am looking for but wrote it out rather clearly.  i mean if you can not respect me or at least pretend to give a fuck long enough to read it, why the hellshould I believe you would respect me. If I can’t trust you with the smallest of things like reading my profile, then what the hell makes you think I would trust you to care in a session, date, whatever? i put things in my profile to help YOU understand me and what I am looking for, as well as what I can offer. Furthermore I am not going to tell you read it. I shouldn’t need to. BUT, I do know if you have read it or not. How do I know? Maybe you should have read the thing in the first place. As I am on my soapbox at the moment, to all the people who send a one line, or worse one word greeting message, listen up. That may work at a bar or speed dating, button here a lot more is needed. I know you want to do the least amount of actual effort you can but you get out what you put in. If you can’t even try to make a nice and prober introduction, I can only assume you equally lazy with everything else and not worth my time.   just something to think about

I prefer to take thing, it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission Plus permission can be hard to come by. Why now just take it and break it into what you want  Just be comfortable with yourself in skin.   Anything can be beautiful with confidence 

She will spend her days at home nude … She will sleep in a cage unless she is being used by me at night. She will cook and clean and keep my home immaculate. In public she will dress slutty and be on display. She will call me Master in private and Sir in public. She will be very flirty and sweet to every man and boy. In public no bra or panties. She will exercise daily in the nude. She will shower daily as needed and shower with me every day. She will keep her body perfectly smooth and shave often. She will sit nude at my feet when I watch tv. She will speak to me in third person at all times and accept punishment when she makes errors. I will attach a permanent collar that she cannot remove, engraved with my name. I will have a tattoo placed on her left thigh, near her pussy. The letter “O”, for master obsidian, so all will know she is my property.

Been a while, lots going on! Some really exciting prospaspects coming up so ready to see where this path goes!   on the journey, I'm down under 220... I feel infinitely stronger than I was before and I think I'm going to just have to keep this up! lol I set a new personal record on snatches at 165 for 3 reps! I don't think I could lift that over my head even when I was younger and in good shape so yay!   on the search for the right boy... well let's just say flakes abound and I'm almost over it... oh well...     on an extremely personal level i had something I never expected to happen happen to me (advice appreciated)... I spent 16 years wondering who my birth father was, 3(ish) months trying to build a bridge between us, and 32 years trying to forget... a little over 2 months ago he reached out to me (first time ever) three weeks ago it was "hey really wanna meet with you, just say when and where and I'll be there..." so I told him Monday 1pm at my bar...  *crickets*  I haven't reached out or anything but I really wanna be petty and post how I feel while tagging him since he reached out to me via facebook... I'm turning 49 in just over a week, ive survived this long with out him... maybe I should give up and walk away? Any thoughts?

Now the summer is over I find I am in demand again spanking single women and couples. from the initial contact to planning a meet and the actual session is very important to me so there is no confusion about me and what I do.  However I find it increasingly annoying that after such preparation , they do not simply turn up , I am accomodating them a lot of the time, but they do not have the courtesy just to say they have changed their mind. As I am a strict , dominant disciplarian, not a BDSM master, they know with me it will revolve around spanking. I am a red blood straight male and I do have sexual needs, but I do not impose these on ladies an dcouples who just want a spanking based experience.  My frustration is that many call themselves submissive , but haven't any good manners or share mutual trust and respect.  I have been spanking for over 35 years, but haven't known it to be like this before. Sorry about my rant I have though had several wonderful encounters in the past couple of weeks and great feedback too from lasses and couples, all shapes and sizes. I do prefer to deal with those 40 and above  as they seem to know what they want from someone like me

One of the strongest gifts a person can offer is the conscious choice to submit to something greater than themselves. Not out of weakness.Not out of confusion.But from awareness. Because true submission  ,real submission is not about losing yourself. It’s about understanding yourself deeply enough to know where your energy is best placed, where your strength becomes most effective, and where your purpose begins to take shape. There is power in releasing control when it’s done with intention. And there is even greater power in recognizing a woman who is capable of holding that control properly. A true matriarch is not simply someone who is obeyed. She is someone who builds.Who diraspects.Who refines what is placed in her hands. She understands that what is given to her is not just devotion it is responsibility. And in that exchange, something rare happens. Distraction falls away.Noise disappears.What no longer aligns begins to dissolve. What remains is clarity. Clarity of role.Clarity of purpose.Clarity of connection. That is where something real begins. Not fantasy. Not performance. But something structured, intentional… and lasting. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

Invocation of the Sacred Masculine     He is not only safe—He is stable, consistent, and emotionally intelligent.His presence is a shelter, not a storm.His steadiness calms the chaos in me. He holds me—In my spiritual depth,In my little space,In my adult power—without flinching, without fear.He meets every part of me and never turns away. He doesn’t just allow my surrender—He protaspects it like something sacred.He honors my trust as a gift, not a given.And in his arms, I remember:I am not too much. I am finally home.

52M Dom/Daddy london uk, Seeks *relocatable* live-in 18-25 any cis girl must willing to Anal Training i am Master/DD would say that I am not a loser, or dying for pussy (maybe for a real sub and her Back door=butt=asshole=Anal Training for younger female),I am not crazy or dangerous etc, but a person, pleasant, appearance, polite (more or less)and I like to dominate, I am willing to Anal Training for younger= one cis girl willing to be mine anal slut, must not be committed (with other cocks=which mean if you think you are naughty you are probably ...), who wants to discover and cultivate with me(no others) the pleasure her submission and live as a proper 1950s girl.all with honesty and pleasure for both, keeping in mind that is not a game)she must into a beautiful and intense time ..of course after care and use of the safeword is paramount in a long term relationship (even short but again 'no take away') ,if interested could write me on telegram analmandingo or PM ,NO 4 SEX CHAT OR if u want MONEY find a pig NOT ME!.I am only interested in sub/slave want to be own by me only for monogamous LTR ( or is full of wanna be dom and domme if you are looking for sex go to them as probably you rubbish like them so shite go with shite ). U must be in London uk 🇬🇧 , no cyber no fake ! Basic tasks for the girl what to be my slave 1_ you must be naked or basic dressed you will be touched regularly by me I love to have my hands all over you 2) you must suck a minimum of 2hrs per day my cock .3. you will get spanked or whips minimum 30 shots per day as to remind you, you are mine .4. you will be rape play daily as ATM mouth fuck .5. you must rim me regularly after u cum it relax me .6, you need to wear a plug Or plug tail Or the hook posture ,7.piss whore you will get my golden rain in or on your face ,8, you must wear a collar as show of respect to me.and you will be training to wear a plug daily t! .9. do what I said or get punish the way i want or like . listen to what I need and make sure I get it from you 10. You will sign a contract to show me you understand Snapchat DomPadrone telegram analmandingo not for sex chat i do not fit in. never did.never wanted to , I do not mix with sh*t.

A girl that I’m mentoring asked me to write something sweet and sexy.  The story about joyful, excited service. The kind of story where she excites Daddy’s men friends with sexy waitress service.   There’s a baseball game on tonight. Daddy‘s friends have arrived ,six of them tonight. She must wear 10 pieces of clothing. During each inning, one man will be chosen to remove one piece of clothing.  Daddy, of course is put out the rules of conduct for this evening to make things more interesting.    Depending on the size of a tip. Each man would be allowed to run his fingertips over whatever flesh is exposed.But only with the whisper of their fingertips. And you must keep your eyes closed while it’s happening.  Bigger tip may be a little squeeze here and there, but still a soft, feel a teasing touch a nipple pinch a soft slap on the ass but it’s a compliment being so amazing.    Everyone on their best behavior so far as matters goes, please and thank you. Men constantly, whispering compliments to you. And to each other about you.    Watching your Daddy glow with pride as other men drool over you is an amazing feeling for him. And so exciting for you.    Perhaps another tip. You would straddle a man’s lap and allow him to feast on your magnificent breasts, but only ever so softly. The tip of his tongue and his fingertips, but only a soft squeeze.   As your clothes become more scant. Your skin will be teased more and more with the feathery touch of drooling ,horny  men craving your attention.with only softest caress of fingertips. Insidiously raises your temperature, temperature higher and higher. The voice of your inner fuck toy, screaming to be used. With Daddy’s permission and supervision you can be a good girl doing naughty, naughty things.   Daddy sees how excited you are. He knows that look in your eye when all you can think about is wanting to be a good girl and please all these men.     Your eyes begin to plead with Daddy. They say everything without words to him do you want the game to be over. But 9 innings is much too long . Do I have wait DADDY PLEASE !!!   But you also noticed that it may be the seventh inning, but more and more of the men are watching for the next piece of clothing that will come off that so much about whether the batter will be struck out.      There is one big, comfy chair that is pointed in the opposite direction of all the others watching the TV. You check all of them one more time to see if they need another drink your handshake a little bit. With the anticipation.   Daddy taps one of his friends on the shoulder and leans down, whispers into his ear.  Then he looks back into your eyes. And you know you need to go to him now.  All he says, is round one. First chair.