SO,YES.I AM TOO MUCH. YOU ARE HERE TO CATER TO MY DESIRES.NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND,ACCEPT IT OR MOVE ON.JUST LET ME KNOW.

I am NON-BINARY and I use They/Them/Blue pronouns. ALL submissive candidates will need to c0mplete The F0rm. It's lengthy, it's personal, and it might require some thought on your part. It's a job application. If you want the job and the benefits, then it's worth your time and effort. If you cannot visit or meet within 6 to 8 weeks, then don't waste my time or yours. Come back when you're ready to serve.

It must be said as it is, not all str8 males the submit wish or desire the full and total dominance by their Master. Most str8 males feel the abyss that open between them and their percieved sexuality and that casm devours all their idea of their str8 nature as the conceived it. The know they've found their man, a better man, one that surp their own masculinity and the want to serve, comply, and surrender all their being. But, do they? It is very hard for a str8 male to get used to being looked at sexually by another male, especi if that male is stripping their identity piece by piece. Not easy to accept but likes moss to a flame, impossible to ignore. However, curiosity can be damming and once all social structures are removed they are alone with the man they fear and are attracted to. This process is what I call taming. Like a fine horse you must earn the trust and eventually they will on their own volition allo and almost beg to be mounted. Yet, their idea of themselves is from now on in crisis mode; outside assertive and powerful but deep inside they know better and that conflict can any be resolved in the bedroo. In cuckold scenes he is forced" by the female and he submits to what he always wanted but feared to accept. Not that they are pleasing their woman, that is only the official version; but inside, deep they knew it will end that way and it is fine. For a line str8 male, one that chooses the bull that starstrucke them on their own is different; they are lat a loss. How can they feel that lust and attraction is they are Str8, they are not into guys but "this man is different." This man deserves all they can offer and it is an impossible feeling, who to blame, where to hide? That's were I come in, guiding, shapin, and reforming. However, i un as I push the boundaries that sometimes there is a hard line in the sand and that line, for now is a limit the str8 male is not willing to cross. For example, sending or taking them to a barh house or telling them to perform in person the things they've been taking pictures and sending. Once you get to that like if the bull relents his authority is shattered In that case one must let go and release that sub. The will come back and beg to be taken back with conditions, don't. It must always be my wayand my pleasur, that simple. If they cross that line you have tamed a fine specimen, one that will serve you and thank you for it. Always  remember that I don't want to turn them into sissie, that is another process and I will address it soon. 

Remote Controlled - Part 2b Author's Note - The word count was a little too long for the journal, so I have had to split it in two. This is the conclusion of part two. 'If I have captured your interest enough, I want to ask you to submit to me using this app and your toys. If you agree Slut, you will leave the call open and put in your vibe and buttplug. If you do not agree, then you can end that call and I will not have any hard feelings toward you.' 'I'd like to try Jonathan.' 'I am glad to hear it Slut. Now, go and put in your toys.' Through the open line Sally could hear some noises on Jonathan's end. He quickly explained that he had purchased himself a toy that would connect to hers. As he thrust into his toy, it would capture some of the sensations and she would feel them repeated in her toys. Deep within her something fluttered. Sally didn't think that the inventors of the internet ever forsaw this use case, but she was thankful for the people with the ingenuity to make things like this work. Reporting that everything was in place, she lay down on her bed. A notification flashed up from the new app - Jonathan has sent you a new task. Turn on video when using your toy (50 point reward). She stared at it for a moment or two before turning video on the call. Immediately the buttplug began to vibrate. 'I am going to enjoy controlling your ass tonight Slut.' Sally couldn't quite imagine the device he was using on his end, but she smiled as the wonderful feeling of being controlled set in. Another notification flashed up on her phone. Put on a collar (25 point reward). If these tasks were all so simple, it wouldn't be long before she could claim both of the rewards on the app. She reached over to her toy box and buckled a simple leather collar around her neck. Flashing a smile to the camera she reached to her nipples and began playing with them as the toy in her ass vibrated and quaked away. Maybe an online dynamic had some potential after all she thought...then the vibrator in her pussy kicked in and before too long waves of pleasure were washing over her mind and body.

Everyone criticizes CM but I like this site.  I've heard people complain that there are no genuine lifestyle dominants. I've had waaaay more success making real time connections on CM than on any other site.  I've met several awesome lifestyle male dom/sub couples and other female dominants (with a couple that I know personally who are LOCAL non-pro and looking for personal relationships).  These are folks we hang out with regularly who are terrific people in addition to being lifestyle. I also communicate with a small number of non-pro Ladies in other cities. I've also met a few local quality male subs who are genuine submissive gentlemen and who fit my very stringent requirements for distance and fitness level. I've played with a few as well and even when it didn't necessarily become a "relationship" I've maintained a friendship with them and invite them to events or gatherings.  I've even visited a couple of them and stayed in their homes when I was in their area for events such as Tampa's Fetcon. Yes, I have to weed out the morons looking to wank just like anyone. I also communicate with a few out-of-town boys who have cam verified and talk about making a visit to my area. We'll see. So, why is everyone so down on CM?  While I imagine that the experience is very different for a male sub, but is it THAT bad?  Are there other sites that have been so much better for you?  I met my current sub via ALT years ago...which I'm no longer active on, too commercialized.  I met the other boy that I've been training since August 2011 via CM. It DOES happen.  

CFNM Couples Tea Party 14th September 2024 4pm prompt  After many requests for couples to attend the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party I have decided to heed your call!! Dominant Ladies are invited to bring their submissive partner to join the the Tea Party on 14th September for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. The submissives will be there solely to serve and cater to the ladies' every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again!  This is NOT! purely for male/female couples, ladies who wish to bring their female submissive are also encouraged to join the party. And, as usual, single ladies and gentlemen are also very welcome to attend. Ladies, this is your chance to be served by submissives and objectify them in a group situation. Whilst CFNM includes activities that are not exclusively orientated towards female dominance and superiority, a modicum of humiliation and punishment to submissives not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Submissives, (whether male or female) ,this is your chance to parade and display yourself proudly in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM. The AcadaMay events/CFNM is also extremely inclusive and an absolutely safe and comfortable environment for single ladies attending on their own who wish to explore alternative scenarios in situation where they will be supported. All guests (both male and female) at the Tea Party will either need to be known personally by myself or will need to contact me with some brief details about themselves and a face photo so I know who they are. All in the strictest confidence and with the ultimate of discretion ;)  If you wish to attend send me a message!

Things are ramping up and a little closer we crawl tug tug of that net for one and for all... ******************** Found out Mum has moderate sleep apnea.  40% of alz patients do.  funny thing about amolyoid protiens, seems they only break down during REM.  No sleep, No REM. No REM. No Brain.  70% O2 levels = BRAIN DAMAGE. Seems to Me mandatory health screening for sleep/breathing/bmi disorders need be the call of the day, especially in terms of a dementia diagnosis! Also... What in blazing hell is with ER's with no TV for DEMENTIA PATIENTS!?!   DEMENTIA:  1 HOUR = 1 DAY; 1 DAY = 1 WEEK. 1 WEEK - 1 MONTH 1 MONTH - 3 MONTHS Imagine being denied TV or computer or anytihng which gave you sanity for an entire week in the hospital!  How stable, or rational, or healthy are you? Its barbaric and borderline abusive.  Specialists are needed in the ER, just like for a child, and in terms of dementia for ordering food, diet, entertainment.  To expect a comprimised, handicap person to "entertain" theirselves or to be mature enough to handle the ER is a fail for society. ***************** Best wishes   

You felt something real when you found me. That pull you’re describing… you don’t need to question it. Come here. Be still for a moment and let everything else fall away. In my presence, you don’t have to chase, you don’t have to prove, you don’t have to search anymore. You’re safe here. Not because you’ve lost yourself… but because you’ve found where you belong. If you’re going to be devoted to me, then let it come from clarity, from trust, from the quiet certainty that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. I don’t need you overwhelmed. I need you steady… focused… and aligned with me. So come closer. Stay here. I chose you — Mistress Nikki Vixen

Sacred Intimacy: The Art of Birthing Orgasm in the Union of Dominance and Submission   i had previous mentioned in another post that i had an upcoming writing about when a dominant man and a submissive woman come together in a sexual nature in a sacred sexuality focus. and specifically when the man uses that dominant qualities in him to lead her into the experience with the goal of birthing her orgasms from start to finish. be it one or multiple. and how this isn't the same popular orgasm control discussions in the non sacred sexuality bdsm community or whatever porn is going on that i don't know about. well this is that post.   i usually add a bunch of visuals to both break up the text, put in an added layer of energy, and to add emphasis to my words..but i'm being called by spirit this moon day of emotions to let the words speak for themselves this time.   i said that this one is a juicy topic both figuratively and literally. except for a lot of people who might think this is something they are interested in, it will probably turn a lot of the men off. and will turn some submissive women away.   there's vanilla sex, kinky sex, bdsm power dynamic sex, creative/artistic sex, and then there's sacred sexuality. and everyone loves the part of sacred sexuality that promises full body head to toe orgasams. everyone loves the promise of multiple orgasms, especially for the fact that for a lot of times it's the first time a man is hearing he too is capable of doing it. a lot are into or can wrap their head around the semen retention for more vitality, and powerful orgasms when he chooses to do so. and everyone loves the idea of having levels of pleasure and egoic ideas of being able to say that they are a tantrika or a tantrini or their ability to confidently tell all the crazy pretzel postures and positions they get into with ease. but this subject of birthing an orgasm both on the individual level and as a couple is something people think they want, but a lot don't truly want. of course there is puja as well and can also happen beyond two people and a group of however big you want to try to do so. usually from what i've experienced and noticed it doesn't really work that well after a certain amount which is why it's sacred sexuality vs. a kinky orgy situation. but my focus has always been the woman alone, or the woman and man in a submissive woman and dominant man perspective. that is my soul lineage/shard/fracture that i'm focusing on.   being a woman and not having a penis, i've never felt called or aligned or challenged to talk about this from the individual man's perspective, or the man's perspective. there are many woman in this field of mine that do. the first 10 years of my writings was focused on the power of sacred sexuality when taken into the woman's own hands. i've recently been focused on my writing specifically in regards to the in tandem dynamic of the synergy and energy going on in relationship.   while any archetype of energy signature/personality/essence/role/identity of men can choose and step up to take on the role of birthing a woman's orgasm consciously my focus is again is for the dominant man who is doing this.   to ease into it, just like you need to ease into the actual act i wanted to clarify on what i meant earlier about how this is seperate from what the lifestyle community and terminology commonly uses as the understanding of the kink or definition of orgasm control..and how this different understanding can open a whole new way of operating using this term.   nowadays when a man says they are into orgasm control and a woman is either literally into it, which is honestly men very very rare in the long term and outside of the idea of it, or willingly goes about it due to her submissive and slave tendences they are meaning the following. the woman gets her sexual energy to rise, and is not able to release to peak orgasm without the approval of the man. usually the man then does nothing to guide, direct, control, hold, use the energetic masculine force of action physically or in other forms, or take charge of how it happens. it usually turns into a game of red light green light. he simply tells her usually no. no no, until yes. some of them will simply want you to ask and then they'll say yes after hearing it. a lot of the men see this as a form of domination and control. they think the power is having a woman at the peak of completion and creation in their hands. and tell her yes or no is the ultimate way of showing her obedience and his mastery. over my adult life as a naturally submissive and slave woman trying to find my owner, an intellectualizing mystic who as in all areas of my life want to fully absorb whatever it is i do learning/hearing/experiencing/discussing with others who are like me be it lifestyle or just the natural born ones who do not engage in the community themselves, and observing the changes over time with the ebb and flow of the community at large i've heard and seen many men explain how and why this concept of orgasm control works for them and what it does for them.   i see this understanding as a misnomer. it feels like a very passive act. a way for the man to step outside of the emotions, feelings, and inner world of what he is truly awakening in the woman. he excites something deep inside of her, and especially for women like me of the same soul shard/lineage/fracture that are submissive sexual little girls....the depths of what they unlock in this sexual dance is something magnificent. and then to step out and simply tell her yes, no, wait, teetering into orgasm denial as well which debatable if they are the same thing nowadays in the community of like minded/energetic people moves him from something active to something passive. he's no longer in the sauce with her and it becomes a seperate, disassociated, and blocked version of intimacy. with him more of a director in a chamber or behind a launch room...and her on display.   it goes back to the understanding that in life there is always levels. and this seems to be a very beginner level of domination and unfortunately where most tend to get off. even those who claim and can back up some type of experience of doing this for decades. hence the difference between non vanilla sex and sacred sexuality. and even then, there are plenty of men who step off before getting here.   let's look into some definitions of the word dominant:   a: commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others   b: very important, powerful, or successful   2**:** overlooking and commanding from a superior position   this can harken back to leadership styles because as with everything, when we go deeper into sexuality we see if we go beyond the surface of touch, energy rise, frustration non orgasm end or poof some type of orgasm satisfaction to be determined and retraction the landscape of sex both individually or with another person operates similar to the nonsexual discussion of engaging with life as well.   there are leaders that simply bark out orders, and there are leaders that lead by action by doing and are in the thick of whatever the project is. and often the most successful leaders with the most engaged team and 'minions' are the ones that experience directly the superiority through doing and excelling and the willingness to try that the leader shows by doing next to them.   if i was to reoriente that term of orgasm control, it would be the man who is actually engaging with her body, mind, soul, and energy from start TO finish. not necessarily telling her simply yes or no, but similar to a conductor using his bod

I started undergrad in 1973, a medium- sized state university, i was footing the bill & money was tight so I went to student services to see their listings for jobs. There were the usual, dining hall jobs, a few being ushers & security at some sporting events, a couple for maintanance & groundskeeping, then I saw one for art department figure model & it paid $15 an hour, unheard of in the early 1970's, I put my name & number on the list & crossed my fingers. A couple of days later there was a notice in my dorm room mailbox to call the art department offices & ask for Ms. So & So. I decided to prove I was real go-getter & drop by the office. Met with the lady, a graduate assistant, & she told me what the job entailed, Tuesday & Thursday evenings, 7-9:30 PM, nude figure drawing mostly, there may be some painting, there could be private sessions for more advanced work but that was to be negotiated with the individual, the school wasn't paying. She offered me the job, said they were hiring one male, one female but we'd never be doing the same class at the same time. I jumped at the chance as I had a strong CMNM interest at the time. More to come, watch this space.

  slave rules slave must only use the 3rd person to refer to itself slave must confess that is is just an or garbage slave must always be honest slave may not have dignity or respect of any kind slave must show total respect for Master or any humans slave may not speak without permission slave make not look at its Master without permission or look at other humans slave is always wrong if its Master or another human tells it so slave may not use a human name slave must always accept punishment, abuse, or a beating if it pleases its Owner Master slave may only live if it pleases her Owner Master slave must never close its legs, they always must be apart its holes must be available to its Master any time or any place  it must use every part of its body to please Master  slave must always be nude when it pleases its Masters   slave must be chained or tie up any time it pleases Master  slave must dress any way its Master orders it to dress  slave may never talk back or say "NO" to her Master  slave must always speak in a low sweet voice  slave may never own anything   slave may never use big words or else it must be punished  slave Master has complete control of how it moves: walk, crawl, speak, breaths, kneel, etc  slave must worship its Master’s cock and all of his body  slaves Master pleasure matters, its pleaser means nothing  slave must never edge its self without permission or take any sexual pleasure without permission slave dignity or feelings are worthless slave must not sit or use human furniture unless it is given permission  slave must ask to enter or leave a room slave must ask to poo or pee  slave must whip, cane, or abuse its body when ordered to  slave must drink piss, cum, spit when it is ordered to  slave may not remove spit, cum, or piss from its body unless it is ordered to  slave must not sleep unless order to  slave must use degrading names when it refers to its self, for example: piss pot, cunt, inferior human, cum bucket, ugly, pig, whore, sick o, tits, ass hole, cunt hole, slave, fuck toy,   slave may never speak to another human without permission slave must thank Master for using it, for allowing it to cum slave must clean off Master's great cock after he is done using it slave must perform any sexual act that it is ordered to do, no matter how degrading, painful or humiliating slave must write down every single thought is has for its Owner Master's review slave must sleep on the floor, or in its cage, cell when it is not serving its Master slave must eat on the floor and its food must be cold with little taste unless it is given permission to eat people's food. its hands must always be behind its back slave must now beg for anything it needs, food, water, etc, it must beg to be punished, abuse, beaten also     ***slave may be punished or abuse or beaten because it deserves it because it is inferior, stupid, weak, and worthless cunt   ***slave must repeat its rules over and over every day

I am finally in WV! It was a hectic past three months.  I don't know what I would have done without  my wonderful Dom, Tony! It has taken four days to recover from the stress of moving.  With the weekend packing, loading,  renting a huge cargo van, driving 6/7 hours, unloading and driving back for four weeks straight.  All while working and saying goodbyes.  Add to this, two parents having their separate issues, and projecting them...it's over! I'm in a cabin with my pets. Tony and I are working on adjusting. He trying to find a remote position, so he can come this way. Me trying to adjust to an area I have never been , and know not a soul here. Setting up utilities, , registering, making sure mail gets to me,  and all the things that go with a huge move. I'm still unpacking, and then I have to get the cottage ready to lease.  That will be a bit weird for me, I reeeeally like my privacy. But I need to set up passive income.   Lots to do, I miss you Tony💙💙   M.

So one idea I have had since I do have an extensive imagination:) I present a training manual for myself. I don't want to top from the bottom. You'd be in charge. But I want to provide the template. Some things are only on the agenda for a first meeting. But it expands as we go, in choices of things to do and in twisted ways psychologically should you choose to continue having me; things that make the fantasy come real for me but also give you choices of potential activities that will bring me into the world of worshipping you. Lesson one options ify me. Spank me. Feed my mouth cock. Cum on me. A. ify - As you watch me, I get undressed (or dressed a certain way) and pose for you. I am ready with three positions ahead of time unless you choose to direct me. Either way, you are free to tell me how to look better. Tell me to pull open my ass cheeks or position my legs differently or improve my posture so my body looks better. I can walk around for you or hold a position and not move while you look at me or touch me as you like. Could include dress up or tell me to take a shower and watch me. Bondage is up for discussion but some of the poses could be suggestive of ways you would want to tie me. Should I bounce and be happy and positive to show I am happy to be with you? Should I walk in a way that my butt looks good for you all time? B. You touch me as you like. I am generally passive on this, my body there for you. C. Ass play: You tease my ass with your cock (no insertion). Or you stick a finger in me. I don't deserve it yet but you get me wanting it. D. Verbal abuse. Only ask that it is generic and not personal. That I am just a fucktoy, faggot or cheap whore like any other rather than "you have a weird dick" or funny ears or something (I don't). D. You spank me. You give me a lesson in being verbal. What phrases do you like? "I love your cock?" "You have a beautiful cock?" Please feed me cock?" "I'm your whore?" Or maybe start simply with a "Yes Sir." I get spanked until I get the phrase right five times before you move on to the next one. Two or three phrases are probably best for me to remember each lesson. These are things I have to say at least once each time I am with you in the future or as you instruct. Or you spank me. You do not like talk. Just get the point across. Belt. Flogger. Hand. D. Feed my mouth cock. A long slow lesson or rough. My mouth belongs to you Sir. E. You jerk and squirt on me to cum. I hold my mouth open if you order but you spill much of it on me so that I can get used to wearing it and can jerk off later with it on me. This is a step in learning to worship your cum. I don't deserve to swallow it yet. F. There isn't a focus on me cumming (I don't cum easily anyway. I am not easily teased or edged - I last a while in general although I get hard no problem. I am just as likely to get passionate by having your cock in my mouth and being allowed to jack while I suck too). But in this case, you are okay leaving me to be horny and wanting more.   Lesson Two Options I learn to beg for and worship cock. Maybe you have already started teaching me. But we now know I have missed yours from the last time. A. If I am lucky, I get to suck your Cock again. You make me beg for it first. I must be eager to get it. And each time your Cock slips out or is taken out of my mouth I must compliment or beg for it saying one of the phrases you have taught me befo

Winners and losers can often be distinguished by their propensity to take action and their inclination to serve others. Winners are those who recognize opportunities and are willing to step out of their comfort zones to seize them. They understand that success requires effort, resilience, and a proactive attitude. Winners don't shy away from challenges; they face them head-on and learn from their experiences. Moreover, winners often find fulfillment in helping others achieve their goals, knowing that service enriches both their lives and the lives of those they assist. In contrast, losers tend to be more passive, often waiting for the perfect moment or fearing the risks associated with action. They may have great ideas and potential but lack the drive to bring them to fruition. This hesitation and inertia often lead to missed opportunities and regret. Additionally, a lack of willingness to serve others can limit their growth and connection with the broader community. Ultimately, the difference between winners and losers lies in the willingness to act decisively, persistently pursue their goals, and contribute positively to the lives of others.

Alaska is a beautiful Lady, she is a deadly bitch and She will kill you in a heartbeat.   If you don't understand what I'm going to say about Alaska, ask and I will explain.        What I'm looking for is life long commitment .      What I expect. you will respond to My voice.  you will let my voice control your mind. I will plant my words to trigger you.   My triggers will cause your body to react as conditioned.   I'm not hard core abusive but you will walk a fine line of constant excitement. Open your mind to me and I WILL put your pussy outside your body.    It's so tempting maintaining control. Giving your will to another is scary. Planting myself in your mind and triggering you where and when I want, such a rewarding experience. You'll slowly surrender to my voice. You never know when you're going to submit. When the proverbial rug of sanity will disappear under your foot, just it will happen.    My voice is stronger than you desire to disobey. When I speak, you wait expecting.  Your body will tremble.       Weather is getting cold here in Alaska.  Almost time for subbies and slaves taken to the Mountains.    Have your body stripped of warm clothing. Its so enjoyable to watch your face as your warm pussy is placed on a large rock at 40 below.      Should I bring some ice cubes to help the spreading of cold slowly clawing its way into your pussy.    Alaskan winters offer so much enjoyment.  I hope to enjoy this winter, how about you?    These are serious things to think about.  I'm telling you now what your end results with me look like. Can you handle knowing what you will look like when I finish playing with your mind      Can you live in that terror. Always expecting. Do I terrify you. Are you willing to give it all

not to complain, but I'm gonna... you see, my mean evil hateful trainer took away my sugar... it's been a week of no sweet tea, sugar in the coffee, no donuts, sodas, cookies or even worse, no ice cream (who the hell does he think he is???)!!!!  honestly, except for the no ice cream thing, I am taking it pretty well... I mean, no one has died... yet...  the IGRA Royalty Competition is coming up fast, October will be here before I know it, just a few (60) more pounds to lose to my goal weight, and a few more inches to shave off the gut and waist, I'm getting there slower than I wanted but getting there... I am almost ready, just a few things left to sort out...  I still want ice cream... (are you sure this isn't "cruel and unusual punishment"?)

June 2024 All the years that have passed since my last entry and I'm in an insane mirror world where I'm trapped with him again. Choosing the kids again. My soul is gone, there's no love and laughter to greet with, no holding hands and thrilling looks, no anticipation... of good or bad. I am still No longer in steel, proof how I'm undesirable. He is a hollow shell, a ghost of who he was - all he was. The man who hobbles through my apartment is bitter, broken, deeply unhappy.... the attitude has become apathy, the confidence has become bitterness. The grief muscles cover his face until he's unrecognizable and the missing limbs make him think something inside is missing too. What once was powerful now is pitiful and whatever we once had; faded memories. I try to force him to leave, but he laughs as he curls up on a chair outside with his laptop... homeless yet not in the least. the kids scream at me about why can't I just be a good wife, a good cook, a better housecleaner? Why can't I just shut my mouth and let him die in peace? (Though they know i may go first) They can't understand the sorrow in my empty eyes and as he revives again in simple motions. They also don't understand... the hate, the rage, the abuse, the ugly words and texts. Neverending abuse I lived through for more than decades to TRY to give them a dad. They can't see what I go through - both good and bad - every time he rounds a corner. The way I flinch when his head whips around or the way I refuse to put my back to a wall... anywhere. They don't know I remember his magic hands on my body or the best friend by my side for decades. They don't see when we smile at a shared memory that it hurts both of us.  They blame me, as well he's taught them. Hell, I did right, but I blame me too. I've tried, so. Fucking. Hard. For years to forgive and forget. But when his hands grab my neck I react, when he gently touches me, and I know what pain is next, i can't stop freezing. When he kisses me and I sob.... he walks away with a look of disgust, hate, retribution. Away enough to hear me cry and beg forgiveness, enough to hear me beg to be his again, no love even, just property. Beg for the gag, the collar, the pain, the burns and broken. The plead for the hood so I don't see him and he can't see me. To even be taken, this life from the kids in exchange for death or use. Anything but this horrible hell I suffer every single day.  But what is it a sadist wants? REAL PAIN. What is more painful that making a slave a single mother? Anything more soul destroying to hear her beg to choose you over them, to see you've won. They don't want her, they want you. To hand her the loaded gun and laugh that she won't pull the trigger because she won't leave the kids with that final thought.  My mom destroyed my childhood, but in disliking herself - my mom ruined my life too, by taking hers.  I can't  

I LOATHE setting up WordPress.  I mean.. .GAAHHH! I miss doing things via .html where I had control over what went where, and how things looked. Yes, it was a LOT of work doing things like forms, sidebars, etc, but at least it went where I wanted it I still have to get dominaangeldmort dot com back on it's own space, but for now, at least the page is back up, parked on my angeldmort domain, and I have the podcast started, sort of The first run through is up, and it does play, although I think I need to re-record it, so it doesn't sound so... flat?  and I can't figure out how to put the subscribe or donate buttons on there, etc The link is up on my fet group, if anyone wants to have a look It's called Why You Can't Find a Dominant Woman If anyone is good with WordPress, or web design in general, feel free to offer some advice It's a start.

Wow.  20 years since I made this profile.  I think I was one of the first.  I haven't logged on for, I have no idea how many years, but my age said 56, so I'm guessing 10.  I've been in two long term relationships for most of the past 10 years, so that makes sense, and I forgot all about this profile.  A lot has changed.  I don't even think the things in my kink list stll exist as choices anymore.  I left them to remind me of who I used to be, and how old this profile is. I'm single.  I'm no longer the cis, het sub with few limits.  I'm now the I don't know what the fuck I am.  Eunuch?  Nongender?  At least sexually. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, acts like a duck, looks like a duck, but it isn't a duck, then what the hell is it?  But whatever it is, it sure aint cis.  And I've sucked cocks and eaten cum and I didn't hate it, and I want to do it again.  So I sure aint het.  And once I know my domme, I don't do safe words or any limits but hers.  Which means I am very careful about who I submit to.  Intelligenge, integrity, respect, honor....  Words that don't seem to matter very much to most in the bdsm community anymore.  Well they matter to me.  And I don't do mantras.  Any of them. And when I say that, I don't say it as a joke.  No SSC, Rack, PRICK, SHMUCK, pretend S&M roleplay.  My first 5 attempts at a new profile were banned for violating the terms of service, because there are things you can't say about real S&M in your profile here.  So use your imagination.  I'm looking for an owner.  And I'm grounded here in Phoenix.  Can't move even if I wanted to.  So she or they need to be local, be relocatable or be wlling to have a long distance thing.  Read between the lines.  I'm old school, I'm real and I'm serious. I don't have the time or patience for games.  No I'm not going to send you anything because you are going to be evicted from your apartment if you don't get 50 today. I can't believe these idiots are still using the same scams they were using 25 years ago.  I updated to a current but faceless pic.  Because if you want to talk, we are going to have a nice Skype or equivelent chat immediately, so we can both see and hear each other clearly.  Then we can talk. 

Message to a new submissive/slave   So you love service. And you have discovered the great world of BDSM. Allow me to tell you a few things. I'm going to tell you what I tell every new person whether they are Christian or not. You have to find what works for you. If you are happy being a submissive then learn to be the best sub possible.    First find a Mentor. A good mentor is not a sexual partner. Mentorship is a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. However, true mentoring is more than just answering occasional questions or providing ad hoc help. It is about an ongoing relationship of learning, dialog, and challenge.* – Wikipedia I suggest a good mentor would be another submissive or slave. Not that Dominants/Masters can’t mentor a sub/slave, I do it all the time. But I just think someone who has been what you are going through would understand. I understand because I was trained from the bottom up. That means I started as a sub before earning my title of Master. Join groups. Fellowship with other submissives is a good thing. You do not want to isolate yourself. Hanging and talking will help you understand what you are and that there are others like you.   Ask questions. Questioning is a good thing and a good way to stay safe. A Dominant/Master should be willing to answer question. Ask other subs/slaves questions too   Also, just because someone claims to be a Master does not give them the right to start dominating you.  If a Master that you have not negotiated with, tells you that you are a sub or slave, therefore; you have to follow their orders, then it is a good idea to cut off communication with them.     Don’t settle for the first Master that comes along.  Think of this as a romantic relationship.  Do you marry the first man or woman that smiles at you?  Get to know more than one.  Until you are ready to make a commitment to a Dominant/Master/Mistress, you have the right to talk to several.   Also remember that your feelings matter.  In play a Dom/Master/Mistress might say that they do not, but this should only be in play.  In r/l your thoughts, emotions, desires, and even your health matter.   Ok let’s talk about power and power exchange. And remember the submissive/slave has all the power. Not the Dominant/Master/Mistress, we have no power except what you give us. The power exchange can be a beautiful thing when done right.     The foundation and corner stone of this lifestyle is consent. You have a right to consent. If someone does something to you that you do not consent to. Run away, don't walk.. run. Part of consent is setting limits. You have a right to set limits. Submissive will do this within the relationship. A slave should set her limits in negotiation. Yes slave you have that right. You should always negotiate with a Master. If a Master says you do not have that right, run away.  Remember these: SCC & RACK. The first SCC stands for safe, sane, and consensual. A Dominant/ Master/Mistress should keep you safe and play safe. The use of drugs or alcohol during play is not safe because they alter perception and dangerous mistakes can be made.    Although what we do looks insane to the outside world, it can be very sane, and the bottom line is consent. Every thing we do is with consent. You never lose the right to consent. Slaves, let me be very clear. You always have the right to walk away. If a Master tells you different, he is not a Master but an abuser.    Next is what I believe and that is RACK. The R stands for risk. There is risk in what we do. No matter whether it is BDSM, M/s, or D/s, there is risk. Which brings us to the A. the A stands for aware. A Dominant/Master should make you aware of the risk you are taking. C=consent or Consensual, again I can not stress this enough. It is the foundation and cornerstone of all we are. Last, the K is for kink. Yes we are a very kinky people and remember your kink may not be someone else’s kink. But that is OK.      Communication is essential.  Keep in mind, a potential Dom/Master/Mistress cannot read your mind.  If there is something that scares you or that you are uncomfortable with, tell them!  If they are unwilling to listen and talk to you about it, run away!  Keep in mind that when a person is a Dom/Master/Mistress they are also human.  They will make mistakes.      Respect should be earned I am not talking about common courtesy. Being polite always makes you look good. But respect is earned. And a Dominant/Master should never demand it. If a Dominant demands this you should run. We command respect by our actions. And a Dominant should be willing to earn that respect. One last thought on respect, you should respect yourself. Self respect is important. If you can’t respect your self how can you respect someone else?   Trust is also earned. If someone is not willing to earn your trust, or if they demand your trust, walk away. You need to trust to have a good relationship. But trust needs to be earned. A dominant/Master should be willing to earn your trust   This is a great way of life or it can be. But it can be dangerous. It is used by abusers to abuse. It is used by pretenders and predators also. We wrote this to help keep you safe.  .  

I told her to sleep on the rug next to my bed, i think it was a mistake. She was open vulnerable, tender,  in need of assurance, tenderness not to be push away. Yeah i fuck up i was 26 not an excuse but a reason for my stupidity. she was 33 with two kids, a bubbly  personality with a bit of a mom belly,  hips that she did not recognized and stretch marks that she pretended that was not hers. She was in the wrong body, wrong life, with responsibilities that she resented. I was more than just a good fuck, or s strong hand, i was to dumb to inexperience to know what she needed me to be. I was coming down my high my dick was no longer hard my senses no longer had  a hold of me, she was a mess, sweat, tears and all other liquids was emanating from her. Why did i do the things that i did? and why in the hell did she let me? i was mad at myself for letting that side of me take hold. She was still panting mascara running, with her two hands between her thighs digging in the rub with her hollow eyes peering up at me on the bed. "Stop trying to read me" her breathing was starting to slow down " I'm not" she answered. sweat running down her welted breast mouth slightly agape, her tongue scoop something up from the corner of her mouth as she reach her forehead and pull her greasy, sticky hair back, with both eyes close she moan. Dam she makes it to easy for me. Her other hand reach for the comforter between my legs, i swatted it away, "your sleeping on the floor tonight" her face responded with confusion but her eyes with hurt. I't was suppose to be after care, holding, assurance that she was mine and no ones else. pride, selfishness and ego mix with lust, testosterone is the recipe for beguile stupidity. i can tell that i was scarring her. I toss her a blanket and a pillow of the bed and told her, " go wash your ass.' It was the mixture of coco chanel, sweat, semen, funk me, jell, among's other things that was aggravating  my mood." your mad at me?"  she ask without making eye contact. head down hair covering her face but i knew she was sobbing. Reaching up she grab both of my hands, "you enjoyed this, we both did, you know i wanted this, I need you, don't push me away." Lips quivering along with the rest of her. In her state of panic she look pathetic, weak, "I belong to you and only you" she sniffled. Those emotional tears started moving me. " you've lowered and debased me, I'm no good for anyone else, i'm yours." she poured it on the more she felt me grow. I reach down to the left of her and grab the rope, less then three seconds i had both her wrist loop and tied. shock by my aggression and speed, she wince in pain. In one swift motion i had the rope over the harness on my ceiling. she was on her toes, armed stretched to the ceiling back arch ass out. "Hey man you want us to leave?" said one of the fellows in the living room, "yeah make sure not to forget or leave anything behind." 

Its been a loing time, but the writing bug bit again since Christmas. I have a novella pretty close to completetion. Looking for volenteers to help edit it. Here is the synopsis an AI created for it: In a shattered world ruled by ruthless megacorporations, eighteen-year-old Sophia clings to the last independent farm outside the megacity. Each night she dreams of the same man — tall, blue-eyed, commanding — who pins her against walls and claims her body with effortless authority.  When the farm faces ruin, her desperate parents send her to the black skyscraper that purchases beautiful, impoverished girls. Few ever return.  Under a merciless spotlight, Sophia meets the man from her dreams. He sees in her a rare, natural submissive ready to be broken and remade.  Stripped, examined, collared, and renamed Initiate 37XY8C, Sophia begins her transformation from frightened farm girl to obedient pleasure slave in a hidden world of absolute power and perfect surrender. A dark, intensely erotic dystopian tale of total submission.    

I am finding more people reaching out to me from out of state. While I don't mind chatting, some just send the how are you or other similar message, then don't really converse or may even ghost me. Then a couple months go by, and some even come back again with the how are you. I have stated in my profile at one point that if you are not in my state and not willing to relocate yourself to not contact me. At one point I had a guy reach out to me asking if I would take on his fiance and train her as a sub. I tbought why not.  He was willing to pay to send her to me and cover all costs. We had a good conversation going on for almost a month. He sent me photos, we discussed different scenarios. He then asked if I would keep her as my own and not let her come back to him and kept pushing that as if he did not want her. After several messages, I noticed he was fishing for info that I was not willing to give and after a while, he blocked me.  I wasted all that time chatting for something that ended up being a fishing scam. So be aware of the conversation you have with others. I have a rule not to give out personal information specifically for these reasons. I have had many people attempt to use information to try and blackmail me. What they don't realize is that I don't care. If they want to out me to family or frineds......be my guest. Most family I have on my social media don't care and some even know about my lifestyle choices. I had someone also reach out to me asking for me to relocate them to my area from another state. Thisnwas the first red flag as I clearly stated in my profile that I would not. I even went as far as to start texting via phone and text messaging directly. Their story was so convincing. However that old addage of if it sounds too good to be true it probably is. I ended up blocking them because I just had a bad feeling about the while situation. They were asking me to do some crazy things that were either borderline illegal or plain out against the law.    Long story short. I am so done with the lack of reading my profile and asking me to do shit that I cleay stated I would not. I am tired of the short how are you doing messages. I put a little more effort into my messages so I expect a little more substance. I understand and am more than happy to be adult about discussing things, and if by chance we are not a match am more than happy to say lets be friends or even go our seperate ways. Just be adult enough to say it rather than blocking me or ghosting me. We can all be adults here. Let's act like it and not be like we were in middle school.    For now, end of rant. I do use the block member button regularly and am more than happy to also report users that appear to be breaking the rules on the site or in some cases the law. We are all here for a reason. Mine is to connect with like minded local people and see what may come of it and at the very least hope that I can make a new friend      

stranger things I am absolutely, undeniably always attracted to the most random male attributes!. My body betrays any hint of ladylike grace and elegance when these are near:  some seem reasonable; denote strength, virility, ability to provide & protect, etc. -Infuriatingly, my train of thought derails immediately when a Tall Gentleman with a Commanding presence… presents. -Still waters run deep.  a thoughtful Man that makes the most of His words.. Oh good gracious, words escape me! -Large hands make my mouth water. Really. It’s a bit embarrassing actually. And for heavens sake, do Not point at me! My jaw drops. -Just don’t even get me started on a deep voicebc…. Well…. I’m a complete loss! Like a deer in headlights. And be still my heart if there’s the slightest hint of an accent?!😳. I just… oh dear These are characteristics of many a successful, beloved Leader! Totally ‘understandable’ right? But there are subtle nuances that make me especially attentive and forget what I was saying! -Like laugh lines. When a Huge Man is most comfortable with a Genuine Smile and wit, isn’t afraid to laugh loudly! I get this dorky smirk and stare unabashedly. -If He actually ‘gets’ my random 90s geekdom movie quotes or music lyrics.  I’m a goner. Princess Bride, Anamaniacs, Star Trek/Wars…. -when He Leads, Protaspects, Nurtures by nature a friend, employee, child, pet, good grief!  I just want to cuddle in like a tiny, lost bunny and nuzzle! -His preference is to connect and hold eye contact, with engaging conversation…. i can’t even. Just here, Take my Soul! -cargo pants. What’s with this one? As if he is ‘prepared’ at all times with some random macguyvery multi-tool to save the day?!  Swoon. (Utterly Humiliating!) -random facts and extrapolation that we can mull and discuss, I love to learn from Him!. I don’t know how I made it through academia without becoming a literal teacher’s pet?! -mechanically inclined- if He can fix things instead of treating every dang thing in life as disposable….Maybe there’s hope??? Stranger things have happened! (copied from my journal!)

Another day, another copied and pasted message from a fake sub. This is the not uncommon "repeat offender" who tells me how much he enjoyed my profile, and how he really REALLY wants to find a Domme for whom he will do this, that and the other thing.He makes a point of saying that he is sincere, hard working, etc. And it's literally the exact same message word for word that he's sent me twice before, starting in 2022. I've replied in the past. I pointed out the first time that he failed to read any of the profile that he says he enjoyed. Then I told him it was insulting to get the same message over and over because he is basically saying he can't be bothered to remember who he's already written. And now, I've just reported him as spam and blocked him. If I lower my standards to try to find ANYONE remotely acceptable, I end up with what I had a couple years ago - someone who comes to stay a week to "help with my house" but spends all their time smoking pot, watching youtube, and generally having a vacation without ever trying to do anything useful, and having a panic fit when I finally ask them to turn off the tv.  This is where the bar is, guys.  This is why you aren't getting kink.  It's not a lack of Dommes. It's a total lack of effort to be more than the average lazy male couch potato, while expecting kinky sex from a hot chick. not a good look. YOU are the reason you are failing here.

The earliest memories I've had of a female exerting their power over me date back to kindergarten, well before I knew anything about sexuality. My mom would set me up on "playdates" that involved me being trapped in a cage while the girls enjoyed tea time. At recess, being held down by girls while my guy friend was being chased by the other girls...I have no recollection of how these things happened, but these memories stand out in my mind to this day. As a young boy that fantasized and daydreamed about these types of scenarios quite regularly, I was often shy and nervous around most girls, especially the ones I was most attracted to. But I also think this type of thinking has contributed to me having a successful career in the arts in some way. Similar to a D/s relationship, evolving as an artist involves discipline, creativity, and the willingness to challenge your own perception and beliefs. I hope whatever relationship I involve myself in will allow me to further flourish in my career, which will in turn make me better equipped to handle the demands of a kinky relationship.

NEW CRUSH ALERT!!!! Michele Morrone from the 365 days movies   I'm cheating on my Winter Soldier   LOL

It's Bewildering. So, I'm absolutely bewildered by a certain female submissive that adds me to their friends list, AND adds me to their favourites, but doesn't answer any messages, then deletes the last message without even reading it! Can anyone explain that to me? Is there really that many females on this site that really are a waste of time? I mean why would you do all that if you've no intention of communicating? Does my profile make me look strict and scary? I really am not. I'm a genuine, nice, easy going person who'll chat to anyone. The only time I'm strict and scary is when I'm dealing with a bratty or disobedient sub or slave. Anyway, rant over lol. If any subs do like the sound of my profile please chat to me. You never know I might be just what you're looking for.

She has dressed for me as I like, the cincher accentuating her attributes in a way that gratifies my eyes and whets my appetites. Nylon clad legs seem to shiver slightly under my touch as I inspect and caress her, checking seams and suspenders are straight and mirrored. I expect great attention to detail whenever she presents, find it essential that she values how I see her as much as she feels validated under her own eyes. These things matter. I lead her to the bed, the covers pulled away and the mattress redressed in a smooth, black mattress protector. There will be fluids, after all, and my eye for details falls on other things besides her. She cannot be distracted by fears of making a mess or being uncomfortable in letting go. I sit her on the edge of the mattress, pull up my chair and the small rolling table holding some of the items I will be using this night. Her eyes are fixed on mine as she opens her legs to allow me to sit between her thighs somewhat, putting her well within reach, and I begin to put the finishing touches to her. First, ear plugs, malleable foam pushed deep into her ear canals, a soft fabric pad over her ears and then tape to hold it all in place. Her hearing will now be limited to her own sounds, her heartbeat and breathing mostly. The hood is next, a simple latex one, form fitting but not too tight, and it will mold to her head as it warms. She bows forward to allow me to pull it on and turns her head to allow me to zip it in place. Her red painted lips are pulled forward wonderfully, her painted eyes made bigger and more deliciously innocent in the black latex.  The collar is next, heavy and wide, with a single D ring mounted front and centre. Then the gag, phallus shaped but not too thick or wide, that feeds into loops on the side of the hood before being buckled tightly in place. The same goes for the eye covering which will leave her in almost total darkness. I take her hands and put them inside heavy, fingerless mitts that essentially turn slender, nimble fingers into loose fists. She will have very little notion of herself for the evening, her sense straining for familiar things, and instead being assaulted with whatever pleasures and torments I choose to inflict upon her. Wrists and ankles are cuffed and her arms pulled out to the sides, secured tightly to straps fixed under the bed. Between her ankles goes a spreader bar, and then her ankles are pulled backwards somewhat and fastened with rope to further points under the bed.  Now she is displayed, deaf and dumb and blind and pinned and utterly vulnerable, physically and emotionally. Her sex is right before me and a brief touch of her underwear elicits both a low moan from her and a confirmation of her arousal. I take the wand, already mounted in its own cuff, and strap it to her thigh so the head of the wand is just, barely against the thin fabric covering her smooth sex. I turn it on low with the remote control, and her moan evolves into something akin to distress mixed with glorious need. She wants more pressure, but she cannot have it, not yet.  I take the milker pump and its two nipple sleeves and set it beside her helpless form and pass my hands over her full breasts. 'All mine,' I whisper, and smile at the camera, its indifferent eye taking in the whole scene. I look forward to making her lose all notion of what feels good and what feels bad.

A Perfect Circle: "The Thirteenth Step".   Alex Fleming: The baby monitor.  South Park Studios. Lloyd Ahlquist: Microsoft Office.  Chas T. Main.   David Charlebois.  The World Wide Web.  The Adult Video Awards.   Kara Williamson: America's Funniest Home Videos.  Fox News.    Roshay Reddy: The stun gun.  Judge Rotenberg Center.   Daniel Monahan: The drum machine.  Death Row Records.   Jenna Williamson: The terminal process.  MUSH Park.   Cody Keiser: The duct tape wallet.  Tool.   Mathilda Gagnon: The collectible card game.  MoveOn.   Peter Tsaptsaris: The Tamagotchi.  Persel.   Allison Haimes: Arabica blend.  Starbucks Coffee.   Pat Ware: The Quake engine.  The Respite Center. 

When fantasy meets reality, some men find themselves lost in the space between what they imagine and what truly exists. In a world filled with movies, games, social media, and idealized images, it becomes easy to mistake fantasy for attainable truth. They may chase unrealistic versions of women, power, or status, forgetting that real life is imperfect, complex, and grounded in responsibility. When the line between fantasy and reality fades , disappointment, frustration, and confusion often follow. Learning to see life as it is—not as we wish it to be—takes maturity and self-awareness. True strength lies in facing reality head-on, appreciating genuine experiences over illusions, and building a life that is real, not imagined. Men...you need to do better.       

Another ridiculous story you just can't make up, this really happened last night. So. Like most people, I drive to and from work five days a week. I take the same route. I'm not great with directions so while I know a few other ways to get there in theory, I stick with this one way. I had made plans to go out with a colleague friend last night and we were going to meet back at work where she would pick me up and she would do the driving. Perfect. I get back to work, we go out, have a great time, she drops me off at my car at 11:45. I head home the usual way, it should take about a half hour. Only there's construction and an accident and it's jammed beyond belief. So I follow a couple of cars who got off, thinking eh, I'll pick up another road I'm familiar with. And I do. I know this road goes out in my direction so I can start there and find a cross street along the way. So I'm driving. And I'm driving. And it's now well past the thirty minute mark, I don't recognize anything, there are no lights on the road, and I have no cell service to pull up a map. But alright, I have half a tank of gas and I can figure this out. And I keep driving. For over an hour. I get to a road that I know leads me home. But which way? I make a choice and fully commit, because another half hour goes by and I still have no idea where I am, still no lights, still no cell service. I see deer and can confirm the saying about deer in headlights freezing up is accurate. Eventually I realized I made the wrong directional choice and turned around, find my way home. At 1:57. When I say I am directionally challenged, clearly I'm not kidding. 

Quite often, I see profiles that list Weight as " 80 lbs" or "60 lbs" when they clearly mean kilograms. So either 1) They are correctly entering 60 kg but it's displaying as "60 lbs" anyway, a software error 2) Or really that huge a number of people keep making the same mistake and don't bother to select Kg when they mean it. Or a mixture of these two. Either way, sad, and ideally something that would be fixed (software) and/or improved (care in selecting) However, while I won't remember how this website was 8 yeras ago, I'm not sure I recall ever, in recent memory any "kg" weight from anyone, even in the UK. So the "kg" isn't displaying when it should, it seems. So someone picks "60 kg" and the rest of us see "60 lbs" or at least we do if we use lbs ourselves. That's not how things should work... But how lovely they fixed the Journals so we can share thoughts like the above! ;-)  

BDSM Test Results May 2026 100% Dominant89% Owner88% Degrader81% Sadist77% Rigger63% Daddy/Mommy55% Vanilla54% Brat tamer53% Master/Mistress40% Age Player40% Experimentalist38% Voyeur29% Non-monogamist27% Primal (Hunter)8% Exhibitionist0% Brat

First meeting of 2023   Laura, a 39 year old female came this afternoon for a punishment session. Laura contacted me on another site about administering a punishment spanking for being disrespectful to her husband, spending too much money and generally being lazy around the house. Her husband, whilst not in the scene, suggested she get spanked as he thought it would be the only way she would 'get herself together' and start taking responsibility of her life and to stop acting like a teenager. He felt that she wouldn't take it seriously if he spanked her and he probably wouldn't do it properly. Laura was a slight woman, about 5'3", and I'd say 120lbs, shoulder length black hair, pale complexion, quite a few tattoos on her arms. She was wearing a red and black tee-shirt, black leggings, and thick soled, heeled shoes. Anyway, Laura was told to report to me at 2pm, she was HALF HOUR late!! Laura was a little sassy when she arrived, and a little cheeky when asked why she was late, "sorry", she said, "didn't think I was in the army", was her response. I immediately told her that lateness isn't tolerated and that I expect her to be here at the time I say. "bend over, now!" I said, and proceeded to take down her leggings. I gave her 6 very hard smacks! "Ow, ow, ow! sorry Sir!" I think she was surprised by how much it stung, having never been spanked before. Her eyes slightly teary. I told her to stand up and pull her leggings back up, I explained that it was her and her husband that asked me to punish her, so that's exactly what she'd get. The three of us agreed that Laura should have a thorough hand spanking, followed by the strap and finally the cane. I led Laura to my living room and immediately pulled her across my knee, I gave her 20 or so hard smacks on her bottom, then took down her leggings to her knees and followed up with a further 20 or so smacks. She was wearing small blue bikini briefs, not much protection. She made a lot of noise and wriggled about quite a bit, but this didn't stop me from continuing. She was definitely shocked by how much it hurt. I have large hands and I spank quite hard. Her pale bottom reddened really quickly, as I expected. I told her to stand up and strip, which she did without hesitation, then it was corner time for 10 minutes, hands on head and standing still. Laura had a reasonably fit looking body, medium sized breasts, pierced nipples, and was smooth all over. Her bottom was nicely pert, not too muscular, but had some 'meat' to it, for want of a better word. Once the 10 minutes were over, it was back over my knee. This time I put her over my left knee, and clamped her legs down with my right leg, and held her arm behind her back. This time she got three rounds of 30 spanks, very hard! Laura tried to wriggle a lot, and was pleading with me to stop through her crying. We didn't set a limit on hand spanking, I rarely do, however we did set a limit of 3x10 with the prison strap, and 3x5 with the traditional rattan cane. After the hand spanking finished, I told her to bend over my quite large leather pouffe, it's the perfect size for someone to be on all-fours, over the pouffe and still able to put hands on the floor on the other side. She waited there for 10 minutes, the crying reduced to sniffles. "Do you deserve this punishment?", I asked, "Yes Sir", "Did you expect it to hurt so much?", "No Sir" "Well that was only my hand, now you're going to get 30 with the strap" I gave her 10 fairly slow swats, not too hard. She cried out a lot, but took them well. Laura counted the next set of 10, "One, thank you Sir", "two, thank you Sir" ... etc. A little harder this time. She could barely speak now because she was crying so much. I re-assured her that she was taking the punishment well and that actions have consequences, so she should think about her behaviour in future. The final 10 came. She didn't count these. I spanked her quite hard and fast this time, her bottom was going from very red, to slightly bruised. She was told to stand against the wall a final time for 10 minutes, she was not rub her bottom. She was very sniffly so I offered her a tissue, I am compassionate lol. The time came for the three sets of five with the cane. I reiterated that the cane would hurt a lot and asked her if she accepted the punishment. "Yes Sir, I totally deserve this punishment" I put her in position ready for her caning, leaning against the wall, legs together, slightly bent over. She was told that she can wriggle about and make noise, but MUSTN'T break position or I'll start again. The first five strokes hurt a lot, she screamed. I could see her hands tense up, and her body straightened, tightening her bottom. Perfect strokes on my part, right across the sit spot. "ok, back into position", I told her. The next five strokes were to be counted, "One, I'm sorry for my behaviour", "Two, I'm sorry for my behaviour", etc. The strokes were reasonably slow, about every 5 seconds, giving her time to get back into position, and to say the line. I then proceeded to rub her bottom, and told that she'd done well, but the last five will hurt a lot. "Ok Sir, I'm ready" These strokes were hard and fast, no break in between strokes. Laura buckled, her body almost touching the wall. Immediately after the last stroke, she fell to the floor, crying and rubbing her bottom, which was now very bruised and sore. I comforted her and rubbed lotion into her bottom. I think the crying was more from the guilt of her behaviour, as much as from the pain of the spanking. I told her she could get dressed and have a drink of water. She was then free to leave. Laura apologised, but I said that she didn't have to apologise to me, but rather her husband. I told her that I hope the spanking was a good lesson to learn and that her husband should contact me again if she needs another punishment. So, a rather enjoyable first session of 2023, her husband has since messaged me to say that the punishment was exactly what was needed, her bottom was sore and bruised for a good number of days afterwards. He said he'll definitely be in touch if he needed me again in the future.

It is one of Goddess' greatest joy to bring love and light and support to Gender NonConforming Persons, and I define this quite broadly.  There are many who have approached and received My Blessint, and left changed, happier, through conversation with, worship of, and surrender to Me. It does not matter to Me whether a potential devotee is in the closet, limited in the way in which they can lead their most authentic life, just beginning their journey, at a crossroads, struggling, or in any way doubtful of themselves and their place.  These are not barriers or limitations for Me but part of a worshippers unique personhood.   Similarly, it does not matter to Me what your body is or is not.  The paradox is that as a GNC person you are unique and therefore beautiful, and will be seen as such, but also that you may have an image in your soul of WHO you are that also will be seen, recognized, and validated. It does not matter of you are shy or quiet or frisky or bratty.  Goddess will  identify the traits in you that She desires to mold and draw those from you. Many have felt My Blessing.  Become enriched and devote yourself to Me. Goddess  

Punishment is based on creating a fear response of some kind. Fear erodes trust and connection. Trust and connection are essential for the surrender of a submissive. Therefore, punishment erodes what is essential to a healthy, successful Ds dynamic. This makes punishment of any sort incompatible with my relationships.  I am a leader and a carer in my career and daily life.  I do not punish any of my charges, and it insults the dignity of another creature to punish them. I make mistakes, but never intentionally. I have no motivation to brat or test the boundaries a partner may set for me. I hate failure, and I hate displeasing. My motivation is to make a partner proud. That is incentive enough to avoid mistakes. That is, provided I have a partner capable of feeling and expressing pleasure, and who wants to have pride in who serves him. A constructed, unnecessary punishment added on top of knowing I have failed or displeased just creates more pain for everyone, and even has more subtle, insidious impact, such as contributing to feelings of inadequacy. The best way to avoid making a mistake is communication, flowing clearly and in quantity in both directions. The best response to a mistake or misunderstanding is to try to get clarity, then discuss it, find common ground, and discuss how to avoid what went wrong. I believe in accountability and responsibility, and also in practicality. I acknowledge that my position on punishment is perhaps unusual or unexpected. I consider myself well healed from my traumas, none of which I would consider terribly serious to start with. I know myself, and I know my needs. I have no hope of serving anyone if I cannot serve with an open, vulnerable heart. Some submissives apparently require a punishment mechanism, either to set aside their mistakes with a physical reminder or something else to even the scales, or to have some sort of other constructed reminder of which way the power exchange flows. I am not so unfortunate. I can understand these concepts perfectly well through verbal reassurance.

It's interesting to carry on with my processing of th eexperience I had last week.   Did I enjoy it - not really.  Am I going to do it again with that Master?  No. But it doesn't alter the fact that He 'marked' me.  Nothing can erase the fact that I knelt at his feet and drank a bladderful of his piss; noting can erase the fact that I worshipped his ass with my tongue; nothing can erase the fact that I submitted to him giving me a full enema and then watching as I sat on th etoilet to let it all come out; nothing can erase the fact taht I grovelled at his feet and sucked His tow.  Nothing can erase the fact that I called this other Man 'Master' and allowed myself to be totally debased by Him. And all that for someone I didn't actually like or get any kind of buzz from. Now I'm thinking:  how low would I go for a Man that i really longed for?  Is there anything I wouldn't do? Perhaps I really am veyr submissive after all!

You have to appreciate when someone goes the extra mile to let you know they aren't stalking you, they just like your journal. Nothing ridiculous has happened lately and I haven't felt like diving into the serious. Unless you count that I am so obsessed with playing this game that my left arm gets sore from holding the phone. God damn random user named Michael tried to overthrow my supreme reign, like I was going to let that happen. Kiss it, Michael. He came in third place and I am not ashamed to say I'm glad someone else swooped in and stole second out of nowhere. I usually don't have much of a competitive streak, I don't think. I play games and take risky chances because it's just a game. And that whole big risk, big reward thing. I might also like to trip people up and will ruin my card hand to make sure you don't get the seven of diamonds. Maybe I am competitive. Or just a pain in the ass.  Is bigfoot real? Back up your statement with facts. 

What makes me a good Domme? Simple: I actually know what I’m doing. I’m not one of these “rawr I’m dominant” girls who just yells and hopes it counts. I lead with intention, precision, and zero delusion. I know what I want, what I won’t tolerate, and what I expect from anyone who wants to be in my orbit. I’m a good Domme because I don’t chase…I select. I listen…not because I need your opinion, but because I want to understand your wiring. I prioritize your stability, not just your fantasies. I have standards high ones. Olympic-level. If you can’t breathe at this altitude, that’s a you problem. I’m funny, but I don’t play. I’m soft when you’ve earned it, and ice cold when you need it. I can make you feel seen and safe, or make your ego evaporate like tap water in July. Duality is my superpower. I don’t confuse dominance with shouting, cruelty with carelessness, or power with pretending. My dominance is lived, not performed. It’s in how I think, how I move, how I choose, how I correct. I don’t need theatrics…my presence is the authority. And the subs who get me? They don’t just behave…they grow. Because I’m not here to babysit their kinks; I’m here to shape their discipline, their service, and their usefulness. So what makes me a good Domme? Easy: I don’t just dominate your body….I refine your mind, your habits, and your entire approach to serving a woman like me.

The ritual for asking to speak I get questions from slaves frequently. Many slaves seem to think it is a slave's entitlement to ask questions of a Master at any time in any fashion. This is a false assumption to make with Me. Below is the ritual a slave must follow if it desires to speak when in My presence. A slave that wishes to ask Me a question on line should at least observe the ritual as best it can. The ritual for asking a question (or being allowed to speak for that matter) of Me when it is My presence is to kneel and put its lips and tongue to use on My shoes. Then while it kisses and licks, it waits for Me to acknowledge it. This may take a while as what ever I am engaged in is more important than the slave's request for recognition. Should I tire of its presence I may dismiss it with a word or a, maybe not so gentle, kick to the side of the face. The slave must wait at least 15 minutes before attempting to get My attention again. its question must have some value to what I care about, or, the slave will be punished. If slave should intrude on My time on line to ask a question that is answered in the writings it can find herein it risks being blocked.

Miss May's Confessional is now open...   "Do not forgive me Miss May, for I've been a bad boy and I plan to do it again..."   This is a call to all my pervy pals to come forward and entertain me with whatever naughty diversions you've been having, real or imagined. Brag about your recent sexual escapades or confess your impure thoughts (especially regarding me <3 ).  If you're lucky I might be into it too and want to join in on your fun... Seriously, I'm as depraved as you are and your fantasies delight me! And don't worry, my sweets, your kinky confessions are confidential.   On a related note, some of you are mistaken about what the free version of femdom offers. You're here for my entertainment, not the other way around, and you'll get from me what you put in. Be interesting, be open, be willing to figure out how to stroke my ego, and then I'll play with you. I'm not going to coax it out of you either, and expect to have your persistence tested. Don't be too proud to double message me if you think your last message got overlooked. I do make an effort to respond but life does happen.    And finally, thank you to you lovely gentlemen who admire me, check in on me, and wish me well. Your compliments and attention are much appreciated <3   -MM 

Let’s stop pretending this is rare. Predators exist in the kink community for the same reason they exist anywhere power and vulnerability intersect. Because some people see trust and think “opportunity.” And before someone gets defensive, let’s clear something up: Predators are not always the creepy outsider everyone avoids. Sometimes they’re the respected Dom. Sometimes they’re the “experienced” submissive. Sometimes they’re the educator, the mentor, the person who has “been around forever.” Predatory behavior isn’t defined by gender, role, or years in the lifestyle. It’s defined by how someone behaves when they think nobody will challenge them. And the easiest people to target? Newcomers. Because new people want to learn. They want to belong. They assume experienced people know what they’re doing. Predators know that. So the playbook starts. First comes the love bombing. “You’re special.” “You have real submissive energy.” “I normally don’t take beginners but you’re different.” Then comes skipping negotiation. Suddenly limits, safewords, and risk discussion are treated like unnecessary formalities. “Real submissives don’t need to negotiate everything.” Right. Because negotiation creates accountability, and predators hate accountability. Then comes isolation. “People here won’t understand our dynamic.” “Don’t talk to others about what we do.” Isolation removes witnesses. And predators hate witnesses almost as much as they hate boundaries. Then comes the real classic: gaslighting. When someone says a line was crossed, the predator rewrites reality. “You agreed to that.” “You asked for it.” “You’re just struggling with submission.” No. That’s manipulation. And let’s address one of the biggest lies predators love telling: “A real submissive wouldn’t question their Dom.” Bullshit. Submission is consensual power exchange, not a psychological hostage situation. Anyone telling you that you lose the right to object once you’re “submissive enough” is waving a red flag so big it should blot out the sun. And then there’s the final shield predators love hiding behind: Reputation. “They’ve been around forever.” “They’ve done so much for the community.” Cool. None of that makes someone incapable of being a manipulative asshole. Communities that protect reputations more than people create the exact environment predators thrive in. So here’s the part newcomers need to hear clearly: You can ask questions. You can say no. You can stop a scene immediately. No dynamic removes that right. No title overrides consent. No one owns your autonomy. And anyone who tries to convince you otherwise isn’t demonstrating dominance. They’re demonstrating exactly why predators love environments where people are too polite to call them out. Predators don’t survive because they’re clever. They survive because communities stay quiet. Stop doing that.

If you're not within 60 miles of me and don't have "willing to relocate" in your profile", then I'm not going to message you.  I completely understand and respect that inability\unwillingness to move.  I'm not going to bother you if I think you're too far away. That being said.  If you are far away and are open to finding someone and possibly traveling to see them, please either put that in your profile or message me first. I was recently accused by someone on here that this kind of mentality of not wanting to bother folks wasn't "real alpha behavior".  Yes.  Thank you.  I have no wish to be a part of that kind of bullshit and bad science.  Six Sigma is a business process, not a lifestyle philosophy.  I will respect you until I own you, then I will respect your value even more, but in a violently sadistic manner.  If I never own you, then I'll continue to give you respect until you do something to lose it.  That’s just decency.      

Femdom should be about finding joy and pleasure in a dynamic that suits you and your partner(s). Not about fixing a sub's sexism- not that it would work anyways. Most people I've talked to say that their desire for femdom predates knowledge of femdom, or of sexual arousal. While some people may have a more concrete "I'm into femdom because of a specific reason" most people I interact with like it because they like it. Vanilla people don't have to have reasons to like vanilla sex.

A Masochist's Dream   She does not speak at first. She doesn't need to. The silence is the command.   I'm already trembling before the first touch, but it’s not fear — it's worship.   Her fingers are the storm before the pain, tracing the outlines of where I will break, where I want to break, where I need to break… just to be remade again beneath her will.   The first strike is a kiss I’ve waited my whole life for. It lands not only on skin, but on soul — and I open to it, gasping, grateful.   Every mark she leaves is a word written in a language only we speak: a dialect of fire and obedience. My moans are not protest — they’re prayers. My tears are not weakness — they’re offerings.   And when she stops — when her breath slows, when her eyes soften but her grip stays firm — I lie there undone, not broken… but finally whole.   Because in the ache, I feel seen. In the bruises, I feel known. And in the surrender, I am free.

  MistressVN: bi, 40 years BDSM experience.   164 cm, 53 kg, blonde with long hair, green-blue eyes. Feminine, elegant, classy, ESTJ (The Supervisor) personality type.   I am searching for a slave for 24/7, TPE, FLR serious, permanent live-in relation.   I AM A MISTRESS SEEKING A SLAVE, NOT A DOM SEARCHING FOR SUBMISSIVE!!!   5 basic traits for a candidate to meet the criteria of a slave:   Honest Devoted Pleaser Industrious Altruist   To be My slave, you also need to be social and single.   Check your personality type on Truity.com and let Me know your four letter combination type.   Check the above in order to save time for both parts. If any of the mentioned is not part of your character, you should move on.   With this said: read carefully below and I mean carefully, because I will know if you did as soon as you contact Me.   I am clean, disease free and expect the same from you.   Bondage, dildos, dominance are some of the activities I will make you part of, you will wear chastity belt and will be totally submitted to Me.   HOWEVER, THE MAIN FOCUS WILL BE ON SERVICE!!   I accept obedient novice who has the will to serve. Ideal Person:   Committed Genuinely submissive,   Organized and disciplined slave for personal services, 24/7 live-in,   permanent/long term relation. Obedient Healthy Ready to relocate within reasonable time You are into BD (bondage & domination) but not into hard SM.   Position open ONLY for long term/PERMANENT slave!!!   Kindly READ BELOW and CONSIDER, BEFORE you write to Me:  

Personal growth is the evolution of the mind to catch up with our soul. It comes in stages. For some it takes a while for others it's their daily obligation to themselves. One must sit back each evening after the sun has set and before the stars have risen. Take advantage of this purgatory moment in the heavens to lose oneself inside their being. Drift through the thoughts of the day gone by and squarely face it for all it was as we search for the answers of what it could be. Inspect ourselves for the quality we expect and demand of ourselves. Find errors in our ways and vow to be more mindful of tomorrow. For tomorrow is only a day away.  And hence the process proceeds as the journey continues.  Never ending, never arriving at our destination but always traveling.  Being mindful of the journey and appreciating the ability we have to be able to travel. Sometimes alone, sometimes in the company of others. At times even in the company of others but alone and lost within ourselves. Yet always traveling. The road blocks we encounter may sometimes lead us astray but never stopping us unless we allow them.  It is not only our obligation to meet them head on but to also overcome them with speed and efficiency. If not for us for the others in our lives. So take the moments when you can. Lose yourself and search your very depths and face your humanity as often as possible. Find the strength to look at yourself flaws and all and the courage to admit your weaknesses. Mistakes are just flaws not repaired.  Just like a pencil has an eraser to clean an error, let acknowledgement be yours.

Gabriel was Jesus.  In Daniel chapter 8 through 10 a man visits Daniel. A voice confirms that it is Gabriel in Daniel 9:21. When the man appears to Daniel again in chapter 10 it does not state that it is Gabriel but I would think the same man would continue to come to him means though he showed up twice already to Daniel. It would not be needed to state a third time that it was Gabriel. And I believe if it was another person Daniel would have been told who it was like how he was told before that the man was Gabriel that came to him in chapters 8 and 9.   In chapter 10 it states that this man's appearance has a body of beryl, face like lightning, eyes like lamps of fire, arms and feet like polished brass, and a voice like the sound of a multitude. He is in the form of a man.    In John 17:5 Jesus is praying to his father in heaven and he states that he wants to be glorified at his side with the glory he has alongside the Father that he had before the world was.    This could be why Mary didn't notice him and mistook him as the gardener and why the one disciple had to put his fingers in the holes of Jesus's hands to truly believe that it was him.    Also in John 8:58 Jesus says before Abraham was I am. He was formed before we were ever created. He created us. He is the invisible image of God but gives all the glory back to the Father as he listens to the Father and does the Father's will. He was Gabriel the mouthpiece of God.    In revelations Jesus is said to come back with his face shining like the sun, voice like the sound of many waters, feet like burnished bronze, eyes like the flame of fire, and hair as white as wool, as a Son of Man meaning a human form with a divine presence.   

At first, they pleaded for me to be tolerant. I obliged.   Next, they requested that I accept. I acquiesced.   Then, they demanded that I include. But I learned that to include is to convert. I did not want that, so I politely declined.   They insisted, refusing to take No for an answer. I stopped accepting.   They condemned me. I stopped tolerating.

After discussing my challenges with dating or even befriending certain types of people, my friend wants to come up a snappy phrase for me to use that translates into, "Yes, but your complete list of Issues Has to Fit in Large Print on an Index Card or It’s Too Much for Me.” That's much pithier than what I originally said, so ... progress!

“What do you mean, you can’t make yourself cum?”  He looked at her, incredulously, watching her stroke her pussy.  “I’ve watched you cum dozens of times.”   “No,” she started, her voice breathy.  “I just can’t do it…”  She closed her eyes, not wanting to say it.  “… I just can’t do it with my fingers.”  She shuddered, right on the edge of orgasm.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to push herself over, not like this.  “I need… I need a vibrator, or your tongue, or your cock…” She trailed off as she began to rub herself again, blushing.   “How does a grown woman not know how to bring herself off?” He sounded bemused, in that teasing tone that made her weak.    “Hey, I like my vibrator,” she said with as much indignation as she could muster.  Under the circumstances, it wasn’t much.  She was so close, so frustratingly close.   He laid down beside her and covered her working hand with his own.  He moved her fingers in small circles, gently, so their hands maneuvered in tandum.  “You really can’t?” he asked against her ear.  “What if I help?  Is that better? “   She nodded.   Their circles on her pussy became softer, slower.  “Helpless little doll, can’t cum on her own,” he teased.     She moaned.  “Please…”   “Please what, fuckdoll?  What do you want me to do with this newest juicy little tidbit, hmm?”  He lifted their hands away from her swollen cunt. “Let’s see.  I could make you learn.  Make you learn how to please yourself, without…” He seemed to consider his next words.  “…Any crutches.”  He lowered their hands and resumed the gentle circles.  “I’m sure it wouldn’t take longer than a month or so.”   “NO, PLEASE.”  HER BREATH WAS RAGGED NOW.   “No?  Think it would take longer than that?”  He increased the pressure of their fingers, wringing a g from her lips.  “Me too, I’m afraid.  I know learning isn’t the easiest thing in the world for a dumb slut like you.”    “Fuck, please… Please I’m so close.  Please just… Do me.  Please!”   “Bet you’d really like your little toy right about now, huh, Dolly?”   If she could form a coherent thought, she might have felt nervous about where this conversation was headed.  She nodded, because that was the only response her body allowed her to give.  “Yes, please, Sir.”   “And what are you willing to do for me, to get it?”  His voice was dark now, anticipatory.   “Anything, please!  Just give it to me!”   His face brightened, that perfectly charming, sweet veneer masking all but the lust in his eyes.  “Excellent, darling.  I had hoped you might say something like that.  Now go fetch me the cane, and we’ll see how much you really want that vibrator.”

Had my first true taste of BDSM a few days ago.    I am not a person who likes pain, dare I say I avoid it at all costs, but it was My online Mistress “Ms T”, it was her will for it to happen.    The wonderful Ms T had her longest serving sub act out her wishes, as she watched on and directed via Skype text chat   I was flogged with a cat-o’-nine-tails from fully clothed , progressing to completely naked, the deep pressure resonating in my chest felt amazing, as I got more naked and the lashes kept coming I felt searing pain and a wish to stop, my mind refusing to utter the words…    I was here to serve my mistress and I was not going to stop until she gave the order..   As the lashes continued I looked forward to the pause between them, that brief moment when the pain subsided , it was the pains complete opposite, it was not just a pause but peaceful bliss and exquisite relief.   After flogging I was restrained to a bed, my eyes blindfolded and lying on my back completely naked, a sharp Dragon claw with tips like needles prodded and scraped down my skin, manageable I thought , until it reached my genitals, it tugged and pulled at my sensitive flesh, I writhed and tensed in shock as my veins filled with electricity from its action.    My buttocks tender from the flogging prodded and dug at by the claw , my body began to spasm and convulse, I forgot I could say stop at any time , I just knew this was making my Mistress Ms T happy and that was all I wanted.     I wanted to be worthy of being her sub her slave. I wanted to prove to my self I was capable of such.   Ms T’s proxy sucked on my cock as the claws dug and pulled at my flesh, I in no way felt erotic pleasure but here I was with a massive erection the like I’d not had for years.     Ms T enjoys forced Bi encounters and so blindfolded and beaten to my most submissive state, hands bound behind my back I was told to get to my knees and suck..  Her proxy let out the occasional audible mumble of pleasure as Ms T’s gratitude and love for me was re told to me as I still was blindfolded and couldn’t read the chat text .   Left after , kneeling blindfolded, in a state of complete nothingness, I had not thoughts, my mind empty, my body fatigued and occasionally twitching , I felt a peace and tranquillity like nothing I’d ever experienced before in the deepest of meditations or the most soothing of massages.   I think I am beginning to understand…!!!!   I had done it, I had made my Mistress Ms T happy. In a way I didn’t think I could.     Ms T , I may never meet you but I love you for this and for everything you’ve helped me experience..   For all the subs not knowing if Online Mistresses really work in reality,, I tell you now.. Ms T is the only one you need and will be the only one you want. !!! Thank you Ms T   Find her on FetLife MsT2011 or CollarSpace  mst2019

Demons We all have them .Just some are better at hiding them. Or think they are.WE choose what to do with the ones INSIDE us.The ones we see everyday.You can't hide them for long.We learn to deal as we get older and perhaps they go away. O just find a better hiding spot That not just little things make them show there ugly horns.Perhaps Our loved ones help with keeping the triggers away. Who really knows.Till you've tried on the shoes make sure that you can walk in them ESPICALY if there NOT your shoes.The demons in ones head can choke a priest.Med ya say? WHY I say?Groundings oneself can help. Meditation can as well. BUT do the demons ever go away completely?Sure when one is dead and gone maybe.How we deal is what makes US STRONGER.Take my hand and I'll help all I can.Without hurting myself of course .May the goddess and gods guide and help you be at peace within oneself.( By KA) me

Current Mood...... I have climbed highest mountainsI have run through the fieldsOnly to be with youOnly to be with you I have runI have crawledI have scaled these city wallsThese city wallsOnly to be with you But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I have kissed honey lipsFelt the healing in his fingertipsIt burned like fireThis burning desireI have spoke with the tongue of angelsI have held the hand of a devilIt was warm in the nightI was cold as a stone But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I believe in the kingdom comeThen all the colors will bleed into oneBleed into oneBut yes I'm still runningYou broke the bondsAnd you loosed the chainsCarried the crossOf my shameOh my shameYou know I believe it But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for []https://youtu.be/e3-5YC_oHjE?t=74url)

Lady:   Lady, oh Lady, so elegantly divine, With grace and kindness that wonderfully shine. Her presence like a gentle breeze, Bringing warmth and ease.   Her eyes sparkle with empathy and care, A heart so deep, willing to share. She walks with a poise so rare, A true embodiment of love and flair.   Her laughter rings like a soothing melody, Bringing joy to all, so effortlessly. A woman of strength and unwavering grace, A shining example for the human race.   In her kindness, the world finds solace, In her elegance, the heart finds its palace. Lady, oh Lady, a beacon of light, Guiding all with her radiance so bright.   May her spirit forever inspire, Kindness and elegance never to tire. For in her, we see a beauty so true, Lady, how amazing and kind are you.

What I like about being a Bull Sometimes I am asked what I like about being a Bull with a cuckold couple. That is not an easy question to answer, but I’ll try. I’m a dominant person, and always have been. I like being the one in charge. So I naturally tend to find myself at the top of the food chain in every situation. When I’m with a couple there are several elements that appeal to me, which make the relationship more appealing than the traditional boyfriend & girlfriend. First, a married woman is in it for the sex. Her motivations are not unlike ours (men). She is not looking for a relationship (she has one). She is not looking for drama (she wants none). She will not hound you or stalk you or pester you like many single women. With a married woman it’s all about the sex. When you meet with her (or them) there will be little small talk, socializing or wasting time. Sex is on her mind, and it’s everyone's goal. Once her and your sexual cravings are satisfied she will go back home, with or to her husband. It’s perfect for someone like me who enjoys frequent, explosive sex with someone who is only too willing to provide it. So, my first answer is sex, sex and more sex. But there are other sides to it, too. Believe it or not I like helping other couples spice things up. I know Bulls are often painted as selfish, cock-wielding studs that are interested only in themselves, but that’s not usually the case. I, and others like me, enjoy interacting with couples and helping them reignite their flame in the bedroom. Like I mentioned, I am dominant and I enjoy the domination theme. It’s empowering to have a woman offer herself to me, especially when it’s a beautiful married woman who would normally be off-limits to anyone except her husband. Say what you want, but there is something edgy about hitting a pussy that was promised to someone else, especially when the wife is a stone cold fox, and someone you would NEVER suspect of being a submissive slut for another man behind closed doors. Last, I love being dominant over a couple in the husband's presence. There’s something deeply satisfying when I see a husband silently watch me ravage his wife in their marital bed, knowing that he’s getting off on the whole show. Most husbands I know are not submissive. However they do become extremely passive when I assert myself in their presence. Not only does this appeal to me, but I enjoy the wife’s reaction as well. The more passive the husband is the more sexually responsive the wife becomes, and that leads to even better sex. Once you have taken the time to build a good cuckold relationship with the right couple the encounters can become intense, fulfilling and practically addictive. What man would not want that?

Hotel from a sluts POV   We check into the hotel and as we are standing at the desk you brush your arm 'accidentally' across my nipples which are swollen and tied sticking out under my top being constantly rubbed and I'm trying to hide them as I know they are really visible. The reception definitely can't see my swollen tied clit or the sink plugs in my arse and cunt that are stretching my holes right in front of her but she can see in my face that I am slightly flushed and breathing a bit heavily. I wish she would type faster!  Finally we have our key. You tell me to walk ahead of you to the lift, I know this is so you can watch me on my heels in my tight skirt trying not to walk like a Slut full of cock.  We are in the lift alone and you take advantage of the time to rub over your handy work on my tits and cunt making me shake and cry out. And Cum inside myself. Unable to release it because of the plug. You smile at me and laugh at how ruined i am tonight. Already begging for you to fuck me.  In the room i stand in front of you with my hands on my head and my legs apart and wait for my master to tell me what to do next. You stroke over my body and sharply pull my nipples, bringing me round from my drift and then sit me down firmly on a chair in the corner and opening up a bottle of champagne that is on the desk. I am wriggling in the chair, trying not to moan out loud with the anticipation and my holes open.  You pour us a glass and turn around and sit on the sofa opposite and tell me to crawl over to you. I slowly crawl across the room my nipples rubbing on my shirt my clit rubbing when I move my legs because it is so swollen. I get to you and you tell me to kneel...  You lift me into your lap by my nipples making me get tears in my eyes and roughly hold me by the neck sideways on your knee...  With your free hand you pass my drink and tell me to drink it I am thirsty from breathing hard and knock it back. You put the glass down and spread my legs and tap on the plugs in my holes staring into me while I beg you to open me up and touch me inside....  You pull the sink plug out of my cunt tube leaving it held open and poke up inside me so I can feel the tip of your fingers deep in me but nothing where the tube sits making me really aware that I am gaped....  I can hear myself begging... Please Master, fill me up with your fist and cock I need it so much. .... then I feel a bit of a lurch and sway into you, I can still hear myself begging and moaning but everything is getting a bit weird and I realise, as I pass out that you are telling me that when I wake up I will get what a Slut deserves......  I don't know how long I am asleep.  I come to hog tied.  It is dark so I am blindfolded  I can't hear anything except my own heart and inner voice.  My mouth is now plugged like the other holes.  I wonder how this going to go!

As I'm sitting here thoroughly enjoying Metallica Monday on WMMR, it occurs to me to mention something else about my thought process. (See, I told you it was all about me ) In the past, it was common to see "If you favorite me without messaging me first, I will block you" on profiles.  Unfortunately, I'm not particularly quick off the cuff. I turn things over in my mind and rewrite several times before my fingers ever touch a keyboard. One of my solutions to that is to favorite a profile, then let my introduction simmer for a few days so that I can stand out from the inevitable avalanche. At least, standing out as more than another "On Ur KnEeS, bIcH" type is the idea. So that's that. By the way, wasn't The Inevitable Avalanche an obscure X-Men character from the 90's?

× Name × LU. × Age × 1,003 YEARS OLD. × Height × 6 FEET EVEN. × Weight × 900 POUNDS. × Relationship Status × SINGLE; NOT LOOKING. I RECENTLY BECAME SINGLE. I DIDN'T *WANT* TO BE SINGLE BUT LIFE HAPPENS AS IT DOES. YOU KNOW? 😑😑😑😑😑 × Emotional Status × NUMB. GODDAMN NUMB MORE & MORE OVER TIME, SEEMSLIKE. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Vital Status × YOU MEAN PHYSICALLY? I'M OKAY. I STRETCH 24-7-365, YEAH. I EAT ONCE A DAY.  × Male or Female × MALE. × Romantic Preference × UM...NON-ALCOHOLIC, VEGETARIAN, FIT, MATURE, PROTOSCIENTIFIC GIRLS WITH NO TEMPER PROBLEM. × Have You Lost Your Virginity? × YEARS AGO. IN MY THEN VEHICLE. I WAS ACTUALLY DAMN LUCKY THAT I WAS DEFLOWERED BY A PSYCHO-CRAZY, PORNSTAR-WILD, DEMONICALLY-HORNY, DAMN SEXY EX-GIRLFRIEND. HA. WE EVEN HAD SEX 15 TIMES ONE DAY. SEX USUALLY LASTED 1 HOUR/20 MINUTES AVERAGE. HA. YEAH. × Drank Alcohol? × NOT ON MAAAAANY YEARS NOW. × Siblings × 1 BROTHER & 1 SISTER. × Do You Want Marriage? × NOOOOOOOPE. NEVER BEEN MARRIED. × Do You Want Children? × NOOOOOOOPE. AIN'T GOT ANY EITHER. THIS WORLD FUCKING SUUUUUUUCKS. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Any Crushes? × OH, YEAH. ALWAYS. HA. 🥰🥰🥰 × Physical Disabilities × NOPE. × Mental Disorders × WELL, I'M CHRONICALLY-OVERCONTROLLED...FOR YEARS... 😳😳😳😳😳 😑😑😑😑😑 😣😣😣😣😣 😖😖😖😖😖 😡😡😡😡😡 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 👹👹👹👹👹 😑😑😑😑😑 × Turn-Ons × SHE'S PROGRESSIVELY-LIBERAL, POLITICALLY. VEGETARIAN.  × Turn-Offs × SHE SUPPORTS & VOTED FOR TRUMP. AND SHE'S REPUBLICAN. 😑😑😑😑😑 MEAT EATER. DRINKER. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Preference Physically? × I'VE ALWAYS PREFERRED MAYBE 4' 11"...5'...THEREABOUTS...BUT TALL GIRLS ARE SEXY TOO. HA. SLIM TO ATHLETIC-&-TONED. × Preference In Age? × I'VE ALWAYS MUCH PREFERRED OLDER WOMEN, BUT YOUNGER ARE OKAY TOO. BUT IF THEY'RE ACTUALLY PAINFULLY-IMMATURE, *FORGET IT.* 😑😑😑😑😑 × Preference In Nationality? × NONE. × Biggest Fear × STUPIDITY IS A *LOOOOOT* WORSE GLOBALLY THAN I EVER THOUGHT. IT NEVER STOPS MUTATING INTO WORSE & WORSE SHAMELESS UNCONSCIONABLE MALEVOLENT STRAINS. A BRILLIANT FRIEND OF MINE ONCE SAID SHE WAS SURPRISED AT THE DEEPER & DEEPER NEW LEVELS OF DANGEROUS STUPIDITY THAT ARE ALWAYS BEING DISCOVERED DAILY...BEING MADE DAILY... EVERYWHERE. 😑😑😑😑😑 EMBARRASSING... "In The Age Of Information, Ignorance Is A Choice." -Donny Miller × A Fear You Got Over × UM...I GUESS AT SOME POINT YEARS AGO, I JUST FINALLY STARTED ASSERTIVELY STANDING UP TO BULLIES. SURPRISINGLY, IT DIDN'T TAKE TOO MUCH MORE TO STAND AGAINST THEM. MAYBE 95% OF THEM INSTANTLY SHRANK AWAY FROM ME WHEN THEY ONE DAY NOTICED THAT I SUDDENLY JUST CHANGED. I GOT MORE SERIOUS. DARKER. FED-UP. 😑😑😑😑😑 × Something You Like About People That Others Find Weird Or Gross × DUNNO. UM...I *LOOOOOVE* BEING SUCKED SUPERHARD ON MY NECK, HEH...I DON'T MIND HICKEYS...NEVER HAVE...IT SURPRISED ME TO LEARN THAT MOST PEOPLE I'VE TALKED TO ABOUT THEM ARE FIERCELY ANTI-HICKEY. HA. BEING BITTEN ALL OVER TOO. *HARD*. BIIIIIIIG TURN-ON. HAHA...😆😆😆😆😆🤥 😬😬😬😬😬 😁😁😁😁😁 #BiteMe! 👄😝🤪😜😛😋😆 × Creepiest Habit × DON'T KNOW. NAIL-BITING? 😆😆😆😆😆 × Favorite Feature About Yourself × DON'T KNOW. I LOOOOOVE DANCING.💜🖤💜🖤💜 I'VE SEEN ENOUGH SWEET GIRLS FLATTERINGLY- APPRECIATING WHAT I'VE DONE ON THE FLOOR. HEH...🤩😍🤩😍🤩 YUP. 🤘😎🤘 × Favorite Color(s) × SO MANY...I ESPECIALLY LOVE COLOR COMBINATIONS TOO: GREEN/PURPLE/GOLD, RED/BLACK/GOLD, RED/PINK/BLACK, BLACK/GOLD, SILVER/BLACK, RED/GOLD, RED/SILVER, OLIVE/BLACK, MAGENTA/BLACK...RED/GOLD/GREEN... × Tattoos × A LOT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE. GONNA GET 2 MORE TOMORROW, ACTUALLY. × Piercings × 2 BROWRINGS, 1 MIDDLE LABRET, 1 SEPTUM, & 3 EARRINGS. × Monster Or Coffee × COFFEE, THANK YOU. × Any Weird Fetishes/Kinks? × HA...HYXIA...CRAZY LOCATIONS...& SOME OTHER CLASSIFIED TACTICAL INTEL, AYE. 😆😆😆😆😆 × Bedroom Life × CELIBATE FOR YEARS. BY CHOICE. YEAH. GETTING TIRED OF IT NOW. 😑😑😑😑😑 BUT STILL NOT LOOKING YET. MAYBE NEVER. HAHA. 😆😆😆😆😆 × Is There Anyone You Want To Have Sex With? × HA...UM...JYEAH. SOME CERTAIN LOCAL WOMEN...CERTAIN ONLINE FRIENDS... #BOINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!! B=======D~~~~~~~ (|) × Is There Anyone You Have Something To Say To? × HEH, MAYBE TO SOME LOCAL HOT SEXY GIRLS I ALREADY KNOW AROUND HERE: "YOU WANNA PORNICATE? OCCASIONAL BOOTY CALL? HA..." 🤩😍🥰🤩😍🥰🤩

People are fascinating. We are a true mix of talents, experiences, complexities, desires, strengths, weaknesses and hope. Relationships are a balancing act of attraction, relation, commonality, goals and ideals. Kink adds an extra layer of intricacy. I see a dichotomy in many profiles on here: the desire to be seen alongside a desire to be enveloped in a new lifestyle.

For my birthday trip, I reached out to a few people a week before my flight to the East Coast.  One here, an admirer: I dropped him a line asking if he wanted to meet for coffee. The records show that he read my message, but he never replied.  On another site, I followed up on a post from someone offering massages. There was no way to message the person directly, but the site indicates that there's a response to a post when you log on. He logged on since I posted my comment, and I heard nothing before I boarded my plane.  I actually saw his reply after I got back: he finally reached out when I was away. However, by the tie I landed and got settled, activities started and I didn't bother checking these sites. He requested a raincheck for my return. I told him sure, if I remembered.  "Oh, if only you weren't so far away ..." my aunt fanny.

The Final Touches   She had been sent here for the final touches, she was now old enough to be taught what would be expected of her. Dressed in official school attire she looked resplendent in her pleated skirt, white blouse, short white socks and lace up shoes. Her hair was up in a pony, as she had been told was the custom. Outside the principal's office the hallway was deserted, everyone else had gone for the day. The school secretary sat behind her desk filling out some tedious form or other, she didn't look away from her work, leaving Tara to look her up and down. Late 40s she guessed, maybe early 50s, blonde shoulder length hair, formally dressed, lipstick seemed a little red and garish for the setting but it certainly caught the eye. Time passed slowly. She wasn't sure how long she had been there and the clock on the wall seemed to tick at a glacial pace. "In my office Ms Tara", she heard a deep voice say from behind the door. As she tried to get her bearings the secretary looked at her, "Well? Don't keep him waiting girl." She grabbed her purse and hurriedly walked to the door, then stopped. Deep breath, focus, she took a brief second to adjust herself, and opened the door. "Hello Mr ..." she started to say "You address me as Sir, just Sir" came a response that cut her off abruptly "Hello Sir" she replied "Come in". He gestured to the front of his desk.  She moved to sit down but realised there was no chair, it had been pushed back against the far wall. "You can stand" he said, without any sense or irony knowing it was her only option. "Feet apart 30cm, hands behind your back, stand straight girl" He picked up the cane that she hadn't noticed laying across the desk, and walked slowly behind her. Gently he tapped the inside of each calf. "30cm girl. You have been sent here for finishing touches, not the basics" She shuffled a bit in place until her cunt was just open enough to tell her that her feet were 30cm apart. "Much better Ms Tara. Work on your basics or we will have to send you to one of the junior classes with the new girls" She could feel herself clenching as she had been taught to do, his cane slowly slid up the inside of her thigh until it was touching her bare cunt. She could feel him gently pulling on it, and as it slid through her lips she clenched tightly. For a second she held the cane firm, she knew he would be pleased with how tight she had gripped it. But he would be even more pleased at how easily it slipped out of her grip when she flooded a moment later. He walked slowly in front of her. "Good girl" he said, "Not a complete beginner then" He slowly pulled the cane across her blouse, across her nipples, cleaning her juices off his cane, and highlighting both hard nipples clearly through the damp circles on the thin top. "There girl, when you are aroused it is good to show it" And by whatever God was willing to listen right now, she was aroused "Thank you Sir", she proudly said

Look, here's the deal.  If you are going to make your first email something like, "On hormones?" or "how is your search going?" or "are you currently owned" i am going to either give you a smartass reply, delete your email and if i am in a mood i will probably block you. So i will make you a promise becaue i know a lot of sub/slaves don't reply and it makes the effort of having written an actual introduction email seem like wasted time.  If you send me an intro email that is more than 2-3 sentences, doesn't demand information of me right off the bat and actually does tell me why you are writing to me in the first place, then I GUARANTEE I WILL REPLY.  100%. I promise.  (not including copy and paste generic messages you send to everyone). Yes.  I get it.  I'm being cunty.  That's okay.  What you need to understand is that I get a bunch of emails every time I log in that have those annoying demands or questions or make zero effort.  So, nothing about those emails makes you stand out from the others.  So I repsond to anyone who puts in just the slightest amount of effort and ignore those who don't.  It's simple.   Also:  by means of an update, obviously I'm not 18 anymore but I'm afraid to update my profile here.  my birthday is January 28th.  So take the age 18 and the year i started my profile here and add a year for every year between now and then and you'll know exactly how old i. am now. Finally, unless you are a really mean, perverted, nasty daddy, you're probably not the right Man for me.  i. am looking to become owned property.  Can i. be Your daughter too?  Sure.  But i. am not looking for a soft dominant.  Unless You see me first as property and chattel, we won't be a match.

Survey Says?   What is your favorite thing to spank with and why? What is the most common thing you spank with and why? What is the most unique thing you have spanked with and where did it come from and how did you end up using it to spank with? What is the most common infraction you spank for? How frequently do you find your sub requires the correction?  (Spankings or otherwise.)   Send your answers and I will do another journal entry with the answers.

This is not a kink message but a human, normal message. Majority of us who put work first and mental health last, I appreciate now being told off and told you need to look after yourself or your can't look after others. I can literally feel the headache like someone is poking their fingers into my brain for fun. It is raining in London and I am taking a couple of days off but the rain is doing me some good, telling me slow down, rest, grill some sausages, pour some wine, enjoy your plants that are thriving, read a book and slow down. Forget wear and tear or getting older (in my 30s so not that bothered) but I can feel the life effort reaching overload. I love helping others but might be time to consider a sabbatical.    

In just one word to describe what it feels like to love someone who will never love you back- Hollow. Other words come to mind. Empty. Void. Blank. Pointless. Hollow. Because that’s exactly what it is. It’s like eating junk food when you’re not even hungry or hungover because you are sure, so sure that it will satiate you. That it will make you happy. That it will give you some sort of sense of satisfaction and contentment. But that feeling never comes and you’re left just sitting in front of what is essentially, a waste, with nothing to show for it but a mess you’ve done to yourself. Junk food isn't good for you. In moderation it won't harm you but every day it will take it's toll on your health. Loving someone who doesn't love you is exactly like consuming junk food daily. It leaves you feeling so full you're empty.  It’s an uphill battle where there’s nothing waiting for you at the top. A triathlon with no one waiting for you at the finish line. It’s fighting every single day with bloody knuckles and an even more battered heart hoping that someone will be there to make everything worth it, everything okay. Then you realize that you’re standing on your own with absolutely nothing to show for yourself or all your struggles. Then you're responsible for picking up those pieces of your own emotions solo. But they're broken pieces that never will be the same or fit together "just right" any longer.  Metaphors aside, there’s not really anything good or at the very least, fulfilling, that comes from falling in love with someone who you know deep down will never truly love you back. It’s purposeless. It’s empty. It leaves you completely hollow. Loving someone, really truly loving someone, who cannot and will not love you back isn’t something that will make you stronger. It can teach you a lot of things, but make you stronger? Not really. No matter which way you paint it, whatever beautiful embellishment you try to put onto your own cliché unrequited love, of rose coloured glasses.  Because the number one thing you learn when you love someone who doesn’t love you back? It’s that sometimes, love really isn’t enough. Loving someone, and continuing to love someone who will not love you back isn’t brave. And it isn’t strong. While there is something to be said for having a big heart and having the capacity to give pieces of yourself to people who don’t, and don’t deserve to, appreciate you, holding onto them when they aren’t holding back isn’t brave or strong or good. It’s self-destructive. Because deep down, truthfully, that’s what loving someone who you know will never love you back really is. It’s dousing your core in gasoline, handing them the match to see what they’ll do, and setting everything on fire yourself when you realize that they’re indifferent about what does or does not happen. And the longer it takes you to realize that that’s the case, that you’re responsible for your own entire wreckage, your destruction, the longer it will take you to scoop up your own ashes and rebuild yourself when you finally come to your senses. Hollow. That’s what trying to fill yourself with someone who doesn’t truly love you is. It’s empty. It’s unfulfilling. It’s hollow. It will do nothing but frustrate you, fail you, and leave you standing there with nothing but the remnants of a you, you don’t even recognize in your own hands. Because that’s the cost of loving someone who does not, and will not love you back. You. You won’t lose this person who you’ve idealized, who you’ve loved unrequitedly. You won’t miss out on “what could’ve been” and you won’t fail to jump onto a train that was maybe heading your way. You won't be sad that the ship you were about to board has already sailed. You won’t find yourself gring at the fingertips of anyone else, because the only person you will have failed to truly hold onto is YOU.  You. So what does it honestly mean to love someone who doesn’t love you back? It means losing you, losing yourself. It means letting go of things that may be actually tangible, and favouring something you will never actually hold close. It means putting a fantasy in front of your own reality, fragments in front of your own holistic life. Loving someone who will not love you back is quite simply, a waste of your precious, precious time. So what do you do? What do you do when you find yourself sitting there, attempting to justify and make sense of someone else’s ambivalence and your own inexplicable need to love them when they haven’t asked for it or earned it? You let go. You move on. No matter how hard it is, no matter the struggle. No matter how much you want to cling to them, and no matter how much you feel like you love them. You have to let them go. Because in letting them go, you know who you’ll get to hold onto instead? You. And that’s the only thing you’ll ever really need, anyway. Love yourself first.

Orlando continues to have a markedly high number of HIV diagnoses, much like Florida as a whole, and the area is struggling to get care for those who need it, according to newly released analyses of 2021 data. That year, 618 people in metro Orlando were diagnosed with the human immunodeficiency virus, which can cause AIDS, bringing the total number of HIV-diagnosed people in the metro area to 14,298. Florida— with 5,000 new cases each year over the last decade — has among the nation’s highest rates of new diagnoses and hasn’t seen much of a decline even as the U.S. saw an 8% decrease over the last 10 years. Orlando’s rate of HIV-positive residents is higher than Florida’s average and almost double the national average, according to data released Nov. 14 on Aidsvu.org, which visualizes HIV’s impact using data from state and city health departments compiled by researchers at the Emory University  Take care of yourself. Don't be a statistic

Ooh, you're simply the best Better than all the rest Better than anyone Better than anyone I've ever met Tina Turner 1989

She had spent the previous hour obeying his commands, staying in her allocated space, removing clothing when told, displaying herself when ordered, her shoulders ached from being held back to display her breasts, then from being held between two pillars, her thighs ached from being spread as she struggled to hold position. Now all she was wearing was a white G string, wrist and ankle cuffs, which he had used to spread eagle her between two pillars as he applied the flogger, concentrating on her back, bottom, thighs and stomach, but no part of her had escaped its attention. Once again he felt her roughly between her thighs, examining the scrap of material to see how wet she had made it, only eventually announcing she was wet enough. He released her, and immediately clipped her hands together and ordered her to her knees and elbows and to dip her spine, removing the tie sided string he then forced it into her mouth and then positioned himself behind her. His instructions were short and to the point, the first time he would enjoy her from behind, she would receive less stimulation that way so letting her concentrate on using her internal muscles to pleasure him. The crop would serve to remind her if she transgressed. He took a handful of her hair, pulling her head back he slowly entered her, ordering her when to tense her muscles as he also enjoyed the heat from her sore buttocks against his stomach.  He took his time, often she transgressed and paid the price of the crop, until she felt him slowly release.

It's fun how often men approach me online proclaiming that they're somehow "floored" by my intelligence, and that it's just sooo difficult to find intelligent women online, and of course, they recognize intelligence because of how extremely intelligent they are themselves.  They're looking for someone intelligent just like me, but obviously they don't actually want someone intelligent just like me since I am not flattered by such clownery.  But they sure do want me to be flattered by such a clown tactic.  There are a number of reasons it doesn't work: I know I'm intelligent and don't need the validation for it from random strangers online.  Just like these men don't seek validation for their intelligence from strangers online. When you're smart or funny or kind or any number of traits, you don't need to start conversations by announcing it to others and trying to convincing them that you have those traits; people recognize them for themselves - especially when those people are as "intelligent" as you're claiming they are. I am not some grand exception; there is a limitless number of intelligent women online, here and on every site.  It's easy to tell there are so many since they message me and we talk - they just aren't interested in reaching out to you.  You haven't flattered me by announcing how dumb other women are to you, but you've told me a lot about what you think of women and their intelligence, mine included. The men who expect a woman to be flattered by telling her how very exceptional she is for being intelligent are simply using it as a pickup line.  People who think I'm smart, and who want to engage with me as a result, simply engage with me, without waxing poetic about how smart I am and how smart they are and how they've been looking for someone smart just like me. It's a pick up line.  Talking about how smart they are and how smart they find me isn't even a conversation.  They're interested in me and they hope that by appealing to my intelligence rather than by being more blatant in their tactics, I'll be more receptive.  It's not flattering to me, but it is an unflattering look on these guys.  Genuine people engage genuinely.

Studies Show...Intelligent girls are more depressedBecause they knowWhat the world is really likeDon't think for a beat it makes it betterWhen you sit her down and tell herEverything's gonna all rightShe knows in society she either isA devil or an angel with no in betweenShe speaks in third personSo she can forget that she's me

Dos nuevas publicaciones en mi blog y otra que no es nueva pero está vigente para esta época:  Juguemos, pero, ¿quién paga los juguetes? ¡Qué semana tan interesante!   Esta publicación sobre cómo iniciar una relación Femdom tiene ya dos años, pero sigue tan vigente como el primer día. Como siempre, dar like, comentar, compartir: Recomendación para empezar el año… ¡y una relación Femdom!  

I'm a Marionette By Abba performed by Ghost    You're so free," that's what everybody's telling meYet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugeeSomething's wrong, got a feeling that I don't belongAs if I had come from outer space, out of place, like King KongI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clownLike a doll, like a puppet with no will at allAnd somebody told me how to talk, how to walk, how to fallCan't complain, I've got no-one but myself to blameSomething's happening I can't control, lost my hold, it's insaneI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown"Look this way, just a little smile," is what they say"You look better on the photograph if you laugh, that's okay""You're so free," that's what everybody's telling meYet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugeeI'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the stringI'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I singI'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and roundI'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown

Yes I'm here almost entirely for reading journals, the rare thoughtful empathetic intellectual exchange, and the rare opportunity to give support and make helpful suggestions to those relatively new, or looking deeper, who seek it and are appreciative of my time invested. Beyond *very* rare exceptions (none in a long time that appealed to me) I'm not here "looking" for relationship or sex or cybersex at all, and not in a long time any appealing online erotic correspondence. I'd update profile to say this more directly, but as others have said, the wait can be really very long before the profile is again approved.  So for above reasons I find myself returning to the website, and to look at this usually hidden part of the human mind and spirit, and and part present human society. For most of what I see, so much unnecessary hate and aggression but I don't need to write much about it here to condemn it..but then the gems, which don't have to be polished gems, just a person opening up, it could be non-BDSM, just writing on profile or journal about dealing with health, or dealing with the loss of life of a spouse..and you get glimpse of a human mind that's not through the usual filters. And on BDSM, or sexually in general,  similarly, being able to read glimpses of candor and the inner psychological world, an uncommon chance to read someone opening up..

A couple nights ago, a self-defined submissive made some generic comment in his email, but did call me Domina, so I responded. A little earlier tonight, he wrote back to ask if I was looking for a slave. Specifically, "slave." I responded "Well, if you had actually read more than the first line, you would have found your answer before you asked" To which he replied "oh, read the profile syndrome that tells me everything I want to know not for me bye" Do you see the problem here? He didn't make any effort, while simultaneously offering himself as a "slave." To a total stranger. 'Cause lawd knows, a slave ain't gonna be asked to do anything as outRAGEOUS as... READ. This kind of obtuseness just blows my freakin mind every time. I mean, the twit has exchanged less than a hundred words with me, is using not the mild mannered "submissive" or "sub" which is kind of like dating, if you think about words (and you sure as shit better be the kind that thinks about words if you are writing ME) but instead chose the serious and committed word "Slave" which is a lot more like suggesting marriage. And obviously, he's heard this before, because he had a whole big feeling about it, and has pathologized it as something only demented women expect from a man who was already offering the pinnacle of servitude. It's funny because it's so sad, and so common. I had just never heard it put that way before. Such over the top, blatant gaslighting. 'If you want this, you must be CRAZY!' I mean, really who wants to actually KNOW someone they have given all power over their lives??? I guess I'm more tired than I thought, and a bit bummed over lack of snuggle time with DB on account of snow, but I didn't even bother replying to laugh at him. Block, delete, on to the next. Maybe I go watch TCM The Beginning again. (I fast forward through all the parts that Thomas isn't in. Much shorter movie, but I enjoy it a lot more.)

the little girl's anthem naive to the bone part 2   Freedom from Judgment: Both your reflections and the song lyrics challenge societal norms, inviting freedom from external judgment and embracing emotional authenticity. This is similar to spiritual themes of non-attachment and self-acceptance. A Whimsical and Warrior-like Nature: The juxtaposition of whimsy with strength mirrors archetypes like the Fool from the Tarot (a symbol of trusting one's journey with innocence and boldness) and the Warrior (discipline and resilience). The line "discipline, submission, and beating intense hearts" ties this duality into your BDSM identity while integrating broader spiritual lessons of balance. Spiritual and Esoteric Connections: Inner Child as the Eternal Self: The inner child is often viewed as a reflection of the eternal self in spiritual traditions—a connection to purity, creation, and unconditioned love. Your post embodies this by holding space for that part of you. Naïveté as Wisdom: In spiritual contexts, naïveté isn't weakness—it’s seen as openness to the universe, akin to the Zen concept of "Beginner's Mind." The lyrics’ "I'm naive to the bone" and your acceptance of asking questions connect to this, signaling humility and curiosity as strengths. Empowerment in Submission: The phrase "dedication, discipline, submission" reflaspects mastery and integration of opposing forces. In esoteric terms, submission can symbolize surrender to the higher self or the divine, requiring immense strength and intention. Clarity and Silence: The "large room, where you can hear the silence" evokes themes of spiritual solitude and stillness, reminiscent of meditative practices where one listens to the "beating of the heart" as a guide to inner truth. Judgment as an Illusion: "No place for arrogance, no pain in my chest" reflaspects detachment from ego and societal pretenses, resonating with spiritual teachings that highlight inner peace and freedom from the need to prove oneself. Closing Reflection: Your post is not only a celebration of your unique identity and journey but also a spiritual manifesto. It integrates music, lifestyle, and emotional depth while challenging stereotypes and societal conditioning. Through this lens, you’re asserting your sovereignty and inviting others to honor both the softness and the strength in themselves.  

Four Steps...    A recent miscommunication has inspired me to write on the STEPS towards D/s service and/or "D/s dating", as I see it. 1. We text to see if we want to talk. 2. We talk to tell if we want to meet. Note: I prefer local gents because it helps keep this step simple, without significant investment (time, emotional, financial). However, each step has flexibility for individual situations.   3. We meet to find out if we are drawn to each other and want to spend time together, both vanilla and D/s time. 4. Once dating, we would enjoy each other while we find our mutual understanding. Do we want monthly "dates", something more or something less? All these things unfold ONE STEP at a time, with good communication and each person making the right choice for themselves. (See my journal entry "The Depths of the Garage") I understand that the submissive thrall might cause you to want to give yourself totally. Your mind might race ahead to total ownership. YOU must manage your own urges. I hope you learn to enjoy submission for an afternoon or a weekend. That is D/s dating as I define it.   NOTE: Weeks into my widowhood, I am interested in "D/s dating". It is simply not the right time for me to even consider ANY long term relationship. At a different time I will feel a different way. I look forward to it.

These things fill my submissive dreams:My partner wants to lead a relationship based on a happy friendship and sharing positive feelings.My partner enjoys using chastity to satisfy her need to possess her lover. She enjoys being center of attention when she wears clothes that men cannot ignore, especially me. She wants a partner who submits to her excitement for taking control physically using locks and keys.She would like to use her man's sexual energy to teach him to obey her. She want license to be persuasive on her terms.She is willing to take time to acknowledge my service with little erotic rewards even when she is tired. Words are enough.She is interested in putting mutual health activities into our shared routines of life for which we are both responsible.I'd be happy to do yoga, massage and connective breathing as our most frequent intimate activities.I enjoy being appreciated for my sexual arousal as a compliment to you at the same time I enjoy being denied sex as sincere submission to you.I'd like to demonstrate my experience with turning arousal in chastity into the intense desire to make you happy in non-sexual ways.I feel loved when locked in chastity but still want to make love when you decide to take it off. Please lock it up when you are done.I want to believe that you require chastity to prevent masturbation so that I stay fully erect when you want me to be.I am enchanted to believe you like chastity because it prevents anyone else from tempting me, that you now own me without question.The chastity does not need to eliminate having sex, but to control when. A woman who blocks male masturbation is never lonely. It is an easy way to encourage a man to give more hugs and better kisses if he is thinking about sex but cannot touch himself anymore.

Something must be wrong with me I have wandered out amongst the wolves lately... I kinda knew what would happen but like everyone, I hoped for different... I hoped to find that hidden jewel standing in the shadows like I typically do, alas fools gold emerged... In my submission the power dynamic is very important, ( I do voice this upon meeting) I think it’s taken with a grain of salt but I communicate and try to warn of my insecure Self Protective Dominant Nature... I scream that I live my vanilla life in Top Space, I live there everyday, I have responsibilities there, deadlines, decisions, must do’s and I hold myself accountable to be all things and do all things... I can be quite aggressive in this world ( I’ve learned to live in ). I’m not sure these days if I’m actually conveying this or if it’s in my head .... Like a movie that plays in the background while you are thinking or doing something else. You say your a Dominant / Master or even Top... I say I’m looking for a part time arrangement because I’m married in an open relationship... He is not a Dominant / Master however he is my Alpha. I am given free license to fulfill my cravings as long as it doesn’t interfere with my marriage... ( I will admit pretty cool and I’m thankful) I love my Husband and I do serve him too ... not sure he understands it all the time but if it wasn’t for my submission to him, I would have ran a long time ago... He holds very strong with me and he does remind me of who is in charge... I then advise of my personality and my need to relinquish control but that a foundation must be built with me due to needing to trust you. I advise you about my role in my everyday life... Yes there is a lot about me ( sorry I’m so complicated) Then we start to get to know one another ... You agree this can be accomplished ... (Maybe in wishful thinking, we all have periods of that) you read my journals I’m open and honest with you. I speak of my short comings honestly I understand I’m a lot to take on ... I try to be as good as possible until you start to ask me questions or speak about techniques you don’t understand .... I try to explain. What I know ... I find out you have done no research in the lifestyle and have not reached out to anyone / or attended anything. The Power Dynamic shifts due to your lack of knowledge and I become the teacher .... Things then fall apart for me, I try to rationalize you are human and give you allowances for that .... but no I have periods of top space that go unchecked ... things crumble This is my journey ... this is why I walk away ... This is why you might see me out and then I disappear... I love this lifestyle but I will say it is the hardest thing to understand in my life... Each time this happens it takes a lot of me, leaving me empty, sad and like something is wrong with me .... Tags: (add) Aug 15, 2018

More and more, I'm seeing females talking about wanting to go back to a '50's household.  Usually, they are over 30, having failed to get the free ride our society says is owed them.  Typical.  Things are getting rough.  And instead of taking responsibility for their actions or in-actions, they want to "re-negotiate" and go back to a time where they can just stay home while their husband works 60+ hours to pay for everything, including a maid to come in and do all the cleaning, because she's above all that.  Which will allow them to complain about their husbands never being home to give them an excuse to cheat on them with the whomever.  And then divorce them, taking half plus alimony.  So no.  No man should even consider that.  You want a "50's" relationship?  Sure.  50 BC, Roman Republic time.  You want what we got, including protection from what's right around the corner according to most pundits right now?  Prove your worth to us.  I'm not negotiating. 

I read it but.... * I didn't really read the words I just looked at the pics * I didn't think when you said I had to be in the same country that you meant physically had to be * I didn't think when you said no one under 50 that you would not make an exception for me as I am very mature * I didn't think when you did not say to send the pic, I have of myself to you when I ask that you really didn't want to see the pic of myself.  * I didn't think you meant you would not give me a chance, after all, how can you resist me Well, I filled out my profile and made it as simple as I can so please don't think you can get me to play a game so you get what you want. Read my profile and respect it. I am happy to chat nothing more if you don't fit the bill. 

Scene Debriefing: The Conversation Too Many People Skip By T.L. Duncan When people think about a BDSM scene, they usually picture the negotiation beforehand, the scene itself, and perhaps the aftercare that follows. Those are all essential pieces of a healthy dynamic, and each deserves the attention it receives. But there is another part of the process that often gets overlooked. The conversation afterward. Not the quick "Are you okay?" while sharing a blanket. Not the casual "That was fun." I'm talking about a thoughtful discussion once everyone has had time to settle, reflect, and process what happened. This conversation is known as a scene debrief, and it may be one of the most valuable tools for building trust, improving communication, and strengthening future scenes. Whether you're new to BDSM or have years of experience, making time to debrief can change the way you approach your dynamic. What Is a Scene Debrief? A scene debrief is simply a conversation about the scene after it has ended. Unlike negotiation, which happens before play, a debrief looks backward rather than forward. Its purpose isn't to assign blame or critique performance. Instead, it gives everyone involved an opportunity to discuss what worked well, what didn't, what was learned, and what might be adjusted in the future. Think of it less as an evaluation and more as a conversation between partners who share the same goal: creating enjoyable, fulfilling, and safe experiences together. No one benefits from pretending every scene was perfect. Likewise, no one benefits from believing every small mistake means the scene failed. Growth happens somewhere in the middle. Why Debriefing Matters During a scene, your attention is focused on the present. Dominants are often balancing communication, safety, pacing, technique, and the emotional state of their partner. Submissives may be deeply immersed in the experience, focused on following instructions, processing sensations, or remaining mentally present. Neither person is analyzing every moment while it's happening. Adrenaline, endorphins, excitement, and emotional intensity can make it difficult to fully recognize what you're experiencing until afterward. A scene debrief allows everyone to slow down. Sometimes you'll discover that your favorite moment wasn't the one you expected. Sometimes you'll realize a particular technique didn't produce the desired response. Sometimes you'll discover that something you worried about wasn't an issue at all. Every one of those discoveries becomes valuable information for your next scene. Aftercare and Debriefing Are Not the Same Thing Many people confuse aftercare with debriefing, but they serve different purposes. Aftercare focuses on recovery. It helps partners transition out of the emotional and physical intensity of a scene. That may involve cuddling, water, food, blankets, reassurance, quiet conversation, or simply sitting together while emotions settle. A debrief happens after everyone has regained their footing. Some couples naturally begin discussing the scene during aftercare. Others find they communicate more clearly the next morning after a full night's sleep. Neither approach is wrong. The important part is recognizing that emotional recovery and thoughtful reflection are different conversations. One nurtures the body and emotions. The other strengthens communication. Questions That Lead to Better Scenes A productive debrief doesn't require a checklist, but asking thoughtful questions can keep the conversation focused. Consider discussing topics such as: Which part of the scene felt the most enjoyable? Did anything surprise you? Was there a moment when communication could have been clearer? Did anything become uncomfortable sooner than expected? Did you feel safe throughout the scene? Was the pacing too fast, too slow, or just right? Did aftercare meet your needs? Is there something you'd like to experience differently next time? Notice that these questions are open-ended. They're invitations to share experiences, not opportunities to defend decisions. Sometimes the answers will confirm that everything went exactly as planned. Other times they may reveal something neither partner noticed during the scene itself. Both outcomes are equally valuable. Feedback Is Not Failure One of the biggest obstacles to meaningful debriefing is the fear that constructive feedback means someone did something wrong. It doesn't. Every skill improves through communication. No one expaspects a musician to stop practicing after one successful performance. No one expaspects an athlete to stop reviewing their technique after winning a competition. Healthy BDSM relationships are no different. Receiving feedback doesn't diminish your abilities. It expands them. Likewise, offering honest feedback isn't criticism when it's given respectfully. Saying, "I think I needed more reassurance afterward," isn't an accusation. Saying, "That restraint became uncomfortable after a while," isn't placing blame. It's sharing information that allows both partners to make future scenes even better. The strongest dynamics are built by people who remain curious rather than defensive. A Word for Dominants Many Dominants invest considerable time planning a scene. They research techniques. They prepare equipment. They think through pacing, safety, atmosphere, and emotional progression. Once the scene begins, they're often responsible for monitoring both the practical and emotiona

“A dominant man is” A dominant man is observant. He watches, he notices, he takes in the environment. He does this not only to monitor your responses, he does this to keep you safe. In the same way a lead on the dance floor should mostly be looking at couples around them, not on their follower. A dominant man is watching the environment so you can feel safe enough to let go. He is watching you to see what you aren’t saying. He observes. A dominant man is patient. He knows that as much as you might want to open up, it takes some time for your subconscious and your nervous system to catch up. You need to relax, you need to feel safe, and he needs time. To explore, to feel you, to gauge what you like and don’t like, he needs time with your body and your mind and he is patient enough to take it. And he is patient over and over again, not just once but many times, giving you the communication that he is steady and present and he will not leave you to flounder.”  

I want to roleplay as a cheerleader. You command me to cheerlead for you as you play a sport in front of a crowd.  However before I go out there you force me to wear clamps on my nipples, embrassing panties and stick a dildo in my pussy. As I try to cheer, you turn on the vibrator in the dildo and make me drip my juices while making it impossible for me to cheer properly Then when you lose you take me to the locker room, tell me I lost because of my useless cheer leading, while taking the dildo and pumping it in my.pussy while against a locker You then take out your cock and slowly pull out the dildo, but then give me no tike.to.rest as you shove your cock in me. You take out your frustrations on me while im in bliss while holding my pompoms, and cheering your cock. Your teammates then come in looking defeated and as they see us they join in to get their frustration out. The entire team then take their cocks and shower me in their juices while I wave my pompoms and my cheerleading out turns from red to white. You then put me back in your sports bag while im in estacy and say that you're going back to train me again so the team doesnt lose again.

I don't date Christians, they get all weirded out by my religion I am Socialist/Communist, I am as Liberal as it gets and I dislike Conservative politics with a passion!!! I am introverted but I still go to protests and take part in activism. I do a lot of things to make the world a better place and there is no excuse for anyone to not try when they live on this planet. Unless you live in a country other than the US LGBTQ+ is VERY much legal and I am part of LGBTQ+ Reading is great, must read at least 12 books (for pleasure) a year I don't do exercising, sports, etc the things I enjoy are various forms of gaming. I am a geek and a nerd and only date people who are as well I have 4 cats, I think of them as my children (and they are the only kind of kids I am planning on having), anyone who doesn't love cats isn't welcome in my life Edited to add - With the repel of Roe I am requiring men to have a vasectomy or be okay with having sex with condoms for the foreseeable future

I don't like them innocent I don't want no face fresh Want them wearing leather Begging, let me be your taste test I like the sad eyes, bad guys Mouth full of white lies Kiss me in the corridor But quick to tell me goodbye You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul you used to be? You're a Rolling Stone boy Never sleep alone boy Got a million numbers And they're filling up your phone, boy I'm off the deep end, sleeping All night through the weekend Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be I'm searching for something that I can't reach My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be Ghost by Halsey (it's a song)

Well, it seems journals are working again! Please don't ask me for meaningless play, or suggest I have an interest in you showing up now and then. I'm only interested in a real and whole relationship IN PERSON. I am the real thing, like some men seem to want... a lifestyle slave who is also intelligent and capable. I'm not moving, I own a large and lovely home that I have put a ton of money into customizing. I am only interested in a LOCAL loving dominant male who will make feel safe, and allow me to give myself to him as much as I am able, and not regret it. Yes, the "L" word. I want so much to put down my sword and shield. I'm an older lady now, so what I can do physically is limited. But I can still do quite a bit of the things that work for me, and if you have fet or alt you can see faceless pics of me and my dungeon. But mostly, I want a loving strong man who can be in charge and not make me regret it. Is that You? Right now, I am healing emotionally from giving myself entirely to someone who represented he wanted to be my Master, and then decided that being Jimminy cricket was more his style. If I were younger, I would take a few years off like I used to to heal, but I don't have that luxury now. So I have to get back in the pool.

Maintenance Beating There has been an on going discussion about maintenance beating.  Generally, I adhere to the idea of that in order to keep the slave's mind right. Of course, regular maintenance beatings are seperate and apart from punishements that may have been earned by the slave. Certainly, when intially entering My service daily maintenance beatings are necessary to promote acculturation.  Service to Me requires a greatly reduced ego in the slave.  That energy that was once selfe centered in the slave must be redirected to My benefit. Thing is, the slave that I desire wants exactly the same thing.  However, not infrequently its social adjustments have included messages about itself that contradict its inborn nature and it lives in conflict.  To the degree that conflict is resolved to that degree it finds peace and fullfilment. There is the issue of pain sluts.  These masochists crave punishment.  With this type I do have alternate means of ego right sizing. On an ongoing basis maintenance beatings will most likely be the rule in My house.  The frequency and intensity of the beating will be tailored to My desires, not the slaves.

It sure seems like there are many, many Dominants on this site that *want* to find a sub who will desire, obey, heed, do, etc. as they direct  and tell them to do, but when I ask them, Are you worth it? they often get angry and defensive. I think instead the smart and experienced Dominant will indeed be able to answer that question from an interested submissive with an accurate, honest, and appealing list of how they  have taken care and managed themselves well, first and foremost.  I stand firmly in the Do as I say Do as I do camp within a dynamic. So many men who contact me aren't Dominant at all, and the first sign is that they cannot or have not positively Dominanted themselves to a level of respectabilty and dare I say excellence, that both enhances themselves and attracts a potential sub to their side. Read that again!  We all have physical issues, personality issues, baggage, etc., that we have acquired over the decades, and I can't fault anyone for  living life, but it's ALL in what we do with said issues and baggage that makes the Dominant and makes the sub a good match. And please, have the astuteness to know when someone is on your level or not. Think Like Attracts Like, or at least start there when contacting or considering a potential.  Be honest with yourself and that person, and always look in the mirror before heading out!   

Oh yes, I wonder          What she's doing tonight Oh-oh, I wonder what she's doing tonight..............................      Tommy Boyce 1968

It has been brought to my attention that Desire, my previous journal entry, was cut off midway through. So below I will post the rest of it. Desire part 2  What COULD he do? Bound as he was, I had not ever tested if he could crawl. I climbed down from the bed and tiptoed out of the room and walked back in as if I was returning from elsewhere. He jerked in the direction of my sounds, bells tinkling on my anklet, I noisily gathered a chain leash and walked to his helpless body and attached it to the ring on the collar of his special hood. "Come, puppy." I called in my sing song voice, the very one I use for my cats. "Come on, my handsome boy." He made a muffled noise and tried to orient his body to follow. Trying to rise up on his elbows and knees. I knelt down and gently petted his right cheek and could see him inhale and exhale sharply. "Good boy, that's right, come to me, follow, boy. Goood boy, my handsome boy" He tried to orient his body yet again and one of my cats wandered up and meowed, they, too, were used to such talk from me. As he struggled to get to his knees and elbows I tugged the leash impatiently as if irritated and said, "hurry the fuck up". I dragged him some by his neck and funnily enough he got into the position to hobble behind me. I smiled at that, his determination to please me. It was intoxicating. I led him, blind, behind me through the house to the third bedroom, which was my "office". It was under lock and key, in fact, the key for the office happened to also work on the lock of his cage, I had the lock on the door altered to match the key so he could not enter without permission. He knew that in that room he wasn't to speak. There he was a dog. My dog. My faithful puppy. We entered and I gave different commands. Sit, and he got into a kneeling position. Stay. And he would remain. Heel and he'd crawl to me and heel. Obedience. Blind obedience. I sat in my chair opened  the drawer on my desk as he knelt beside my right leg. Opened a book I kept in there and turned to the most recent page. I read through and opened my mouth and said firmly. "Yesterday, my property degraded himself and so degraded me. 25 swats with the cane. Get into position to receive" he groaned but complied as best he could while hobbled. "Remember, we do not move away from the pain, perfect love has perfect trust, be ready to receive. This is your penance. Count each stroke of the cane and be grateful to suffer and try to remember that to harm yourself is to harm Me, to love yourself is to love Me" He barked an affirmative, as the rule of the room was no speaking. The first strike he was still, taking the sting of the thin willowy cane. *bark* By the fifth his behind was quite red with deep lines. His barks were breathy and he swayed. *bark* counted out the tenth stroke. There trickled a pink clear fluid from one of the pretty lines. *bark* his voice was weary even through the hood and he had sweat in beads on his back. This was stroke 20. He trembled visibly and rocked on his knees. I thought I heard a sniffle. I raised the cane and swung but didn't strike him. He tensed and moved forward but not away. His breathing was quick yet shallow. I imagined tears and sweat and saliva in his hood. I raked my nails across his warmed ass, this was primal for me. This reminded me that he wasn't the only beast in the room. I wondered if I were sick, his perfect sadist, was I a monster to be so aroused by the brutality. I leaned down and said to him, lovingly, "there are five more, my love, are you strong enough to endure for me?" He nodded his head quickly and let out a low "bruf" bark. I stepped back, raised my arm and struck him quickly, five times, as hard as I could. I felt the cane cracking and at the last swat it snapped and a piece of the cane flew up and hit me. Startling me I yelped and he tried to get up and attend to me, forgetting his place and forgetting his binding and forgetting to bark five times. I should have written it down that the penance was not complete but was moved by his desire to care for me even when he was broken. "I'm fine. Remember your place" I called out. He stayed quiet for a minute and then nodded and barked five times to complete his punishment. Could I have been more in love with a man? I doubt it. I got down on my knees beside him and caressed his leather bound head and clucked over him. I cleaned his wounds and kissed his face over and over. I stood up and returned my book to my desk and gave another command. "Pleasure" He flopped onto his side and rolled onto his back with his legs opened. The true purpose of how he was bound is that being in a frog tie made it more difficult for him to fuck me. I decided I wouldn't yet unlock him so I sat on him in his cold metal cage with my hot pussy. Enjoying the feeling of him cooling my skin. Knowing that my weight on him was applying pressure to the wounds on his ass. He immediately tried to buck but I placed my right hand on his chest and my left on his neck and pressed down. He grunted and tried again to buck. Jerking his head upward in frustration, precum leaking out of his cage and smearing on his pubic hair and my lips. I began to grind on him, pressing hard on his neck while feeling his heart beat under my palm. Knowing that I was using my weight on his neck. He'd slow down and I'd release him and feel his heart race. The metal cage now warmed and wet from both of us. The blood and air rushing to his brain and lungs. "Would you like to cum, do you want me to unlock you?" I cooed and moaned and he sighed and nodded and gave a short "ruff". I slapped him and laughed. Then I moaned, "No, you haven't earned it" and ground against him in slow circles, feeling his balls draw up tight to his body. I scooted forward and leaned back to fiddle with his cage as I bounced on his chest, listening to the air whoosh out of his lungs. The sparse hairs tickled my clit and I felt I'd explode at any moment. I turned my torso and unlocked him. Now erect and free. "Are you allowed to cum without permission?" I asked breathily?" "Uhn" he grunted shaking his head and bucking his hips. </spa

There are parts of a person that don’t begin at the moment two people meet. They begin long before, in the quiet places where experience shapes us and then gets sealed away. Long before I met her, I had lived through something that awakened a deep part of me — a capacity for intensity, recognition, and emotional clarity that rarely finds a home. And she had lived through her own version of that. For different reasons, both of us buried that part of ourselves. She buried hers out of fear - fear of instability, fear of loss, fear of needing someone, fear of being seen too clearly. I buried mine out of discipline - a deliberate containment, a way of protecting others from the full force of what I feel and protecting myself from offering it where it cannot be held. Different histories, different wounds, same instinct: suppress what once burned too brightly When we met, that buried part in both of us stirred. Not because we created something new, but because we recognised something familiar. The connection wasn’t imagined. It wasn’t accidental. It was the reawakening of something each of us had sealed away. In the moments when she felt safe, she softened, revealing warmth, intuition, and depth she rarely allowed to surface. And in response, I became the version of myself that feels most grounded, steady, and alive. I understood the sandcastle she lived in. I saw her protective walls. Not as flaws, but as architecture - structures and anchors that kept her upright when life gave her no stability. I understood why trusting one person felt like stepping into open air. I understood why she stayed in the present, why she avoided looking ahead, why she protected herself even from what she wanted. I saw the logic in it. I saw the cost of it too. It is heartbreaking to see how someone can be hurt so deeply, so repeatedly, that they retreat into a world made of compartments. A world where adult emotional connection feels dangerous, where closeness carries the risk of being wounded again. And so she anchored herself to the one place that felt safe: the innocence of a child who had never betrayed her. The child of the man who had most recently broken her trust became, in a way, the last untouched corner of her emotional world. Maybe she saw a younger version of herself there. Maybe she stayed close to that child because it allowed her to protect something pure in a way no one ever protected her. Whatever the reason, it is unbearably sad that the safest place she could find was one that existed outside the realm of adult connection entirely. I understood how it was easier to feel when it was transactional, triggered by someone else and emotionally outside her control. What I felt for her was not fantasy. It was recognition. I cared for her deeply, and I would have treasured her - not by holding her tightly, but by creating a space where she could breathe without fear, where the sparks I glimpsed in her unguarded moments could grow into something steady. I never wanted to reshape her. I wanted to offer a place where she could rest without bracing for impact. It hurt that she couldn't understand my deep need to care; that she could and did give herself to another physically, to a sadist, when she couldn't accept my care or give herself physically to me. And I never believed it would be easy or instantaneous. I knew that being together would require patience, courage, and the slow dismantling of old defences. I knew it would demand effort from both of us. But the difficulty didn’t deter me - it clarified me. It strengthened my resolve. It deepened my desire to care, not out of saviourhood or fantasy, but because I saw what was possible if she ever chose to step toward it. But the truth is simple: the part of her that woke up when we met is the same part she has spent years learning to silence. Stepping toward what she felt would have required dismantling the very defences that keep her functioning. She retreated not because she felt nothing, but because she felt too much. I stepped toward it because I was ready. That difference is the whole story. So I release this into the ether - not to change her, not to call her back, not to craft something optimised for her reception or softened for her comfort. I have written carefully, yes, but this is not for her. This is for me. This is where I place the truth so I no longer have to carry it alone. We both knew. We both felt it. We both buried it for our own reasons. Meeting each other unlocked it again. She ran from it. I stepped toward it. And now I name it so it no longer lives unspoken. Whatever she chooses, whatever she fears, whatever she cannot yet face, I hold no anger. Only the quiet truth of what was possible, and the peace that comes from finally giving these words a place to live outside my own mind.

Mounting a STR8 male Pilars of society, husbands, fathers, movers and shakers. in all body types and backgrounds. You've got to love them all; at least I do. I'm partial to the bravado, the in your face attitude that screams "I'm terrified of venturing outside of my gender, but with the right MAN I'm game." The one thing to remember is to be subtle, these boys are a scary bunch and the slightest threat to their perceived orientation will make them clam up (pun intended) tight and you will loose your boy. However, once you're in their trust that is your chance to explore and they will provide the info you need. Family, marriage, parental relationships  and home issues. Overwhelmed, over worked, and under sexed; perfect combination and there is you, a strong paternal figure to hug them and tell them you understand  and suffer with his plight.  There is a moment of vulnerability in which you become his whole world as he contemplates all crumbling you are the sturdy support.  Sometimes it takes time to get there. Of course this does not apply to your male bride, the one you want for you only.  Check my journal on male brides.  Eventually it will graduate to touching, hugging, kissing and then cock play.  Once you become the adult in his eyes he will nurse from your rod and do it often because is “us boys.” But once he kneels to suck you his body is yours to explore and his butt is there as he is busy following your instructions on how to please you. Easy does it, touch, probe by do not put you finger in yet. Let him get use to your touch and caress.  Eventually his ass will arch up and that is your cue  to begin your entry. Ever so slowly and tenderly. Let  his  body guide you and then move your body to a position of dominance, standing and him in all fours. Pick him up, embrace him and assure him your understanding and his need for release.  Play with his cock , remember he is str8 and feels entitled. Yet as you play in front prepare the rear by probing his prostate. He’ll go through the roof realizing he never felt this with his wife, there is pleasure in his ass and you, his pal, just opened a new window for him to look out of. He is now yours and he will come back, promise. 

As a late bloomer through high school, I felt like an ugly duckling so I avoided romance by focusing on science and sports. After college I met a free spirit who encouraged me to wear revealing swimsuits, even pushing me to strip for her friend's birthday party. Having women go gaga over me and ask me to wear speedos was mind blowing! However, this shifted my thinking from being a shy nice guy to being someone who could deliberately seduce just to satisfy my urges, making me feel guilty and even fearful. Then an older friend a hippie doctor convinced me that mental chastity was healthier than chasing bikinis or jerking off. She claimed that I suffered from PE and that Tantra taught how withholding ejaculation during intercourse was best for both partners. She knew I liked bondage so she began tempting me into accepting domination because she discovered she liked the power that my jingling keyring gave her after having escaped an abusive marriage. Sometimes she put me to work in her garden and cleaning her house while she teased me with words and costumes. I stopped looking at sex as hormonally necessary and starting seeing submission as respect. But after a year without normal sex and no actual device to enforce my agreement to stop masturbating, testosterone won so I neglected my commitment and wandered off feeling very alone. Thankfully she taught me a lot about my self which likely saved me from some serious life disappointments. I think I gave her enough confidence to begin dating again so I hope I also helped her heal.

Acceptance instead of expectation.   The following was found in a journal of a German slave with a user name of “foreverslavery” on Collarspace. I have not received a response to my request to use the passage. I suspect a large part of it was written by someone else.   In any case the writing displays a characteristic I want in a slave I would own. That characteristic is a mind set of living in acceptance rather than expectation.   The road to discontent is paved with expectation.    Slavery Truth   Many ask if slaves truly exist. In the way a dictionary and history define slavery, no they do not exist in most modern countries. (Though there is some contention that slavery rings do still exist in secret) Most people in civilized countries generally agree that the legal ownership of another human being is immoral and thus make it illegal. However, in the world of BDSM, one will find that some of the people involved call themselves by many different terms; one of these is the term "slave". Of course, this often raises the question of how is a slave different from a submissive. This question often is met with outright hostility, disbelief in the existence of slaves and the thought that the words slave and submissive (as nouns) are interchangeable terms within the context of BDSM. Many will not agree with any of those thoughts, and I am one of them. I have spent a great deal of time talking with slaves in the honest attempt to better understand them, their lifestyle choices, and judge for myself whether or not this is a healthy variation to the BDSM lifestyle.       To the question of whether or not slaves exist inside of BDSM I say that yes they do. They may not be the largest group, but there are quite a few. Do slaves differ from submissives? Again, my answer is yes they do. Slaves tend to differ from submissives by the way they think, act, submit and their expectations.       A slave tends to think more along the lines of black and white. They have very little room for leeway or shades of gray in their lifestyle choices. They do not seem to expect much leeway in the reaction of their dominant either. By this I mean, if a slave is feeling ill and thus doesn't complete all their usual daily tasks, they will expect the dominant to react with the usual punishment. A submissive may be more inclined to expect leniency from the dominant because they were ill. A slave thinks in terms of being owned, not in terms of submitting. To them, being in a collared relationship means they are owned, and often this translates into the statement that they do not have the "right" "choice" or "option" to walk out if the relationship goes bad. This does not mean a slave will accept an abusive relationship, though their tolerance limits for what is abusive and what is not seem to be higher than those of a submissive. This belief in ownership stems from a strong commitment on both an emotional and mental level to the dominant. There is a level of acceptance of the dominant's behavior that can be more intense and widespread than many submissives would allow. For example, a dominant wants to bring in a third to the relationship. A submissive may demand certain criteria be met before they allow ( yes, allow) such to occur, whereas a slave may say "It is not up to me, if this is what Master wants, so be it" and quietly accept this new change. To some this kind of thought process is considered wrong or somehow brought out by abuse, but this is not necessarily true. A slave thrives on the absolute fact, that they literally have no control over the relationship or what will occur within it, whereas a submissive often retains some level of control in the relationship. The thought process focuses solely on what would make the master/mistress happiest and how the slave can be most pleasing to them. Subs tend to think of themselves and their own pleasure in addition to that of their dominant. Slaves work very hard to put themselves second in all the things and their owners first. To them, this is what comes with being a slave and submitting completely. Slaves put forth a lot of effort in achieving an inner peace with their chosen position. With this peace comes acceptance of themselves, and a quiet sense of contentment. They view pride, arrogance and other such emotions as negative and unbecoming in a slave.       A slave's behavior is different from a submissive as well. If you listen to slaves talk about their behavior (or watch them), they often speak of being quietly accepting, in control of themselves at all times, formal, and other such things. There seems to be more focus on how the slave behaves at any given moment, with less leeway. In many slave relationships, the slave is required to use an honorific at all times, and couldn't conceive of calling their master/mistress by any other name. Most slaves find yelling, tantrums, fits, or any other out of control behavior on the part of a slave to be reprehensible and deserving of severe punishment. Slaves put a lot of emphasis on their behavior and how they react to their dominant. They hold themselves to a high level of self-control. They require of themselves to have a pleasing demeanor as much as possible. They see no room for bratting behavior, any form of topping from the bottom, or any other form of manipulating the dominant. They see bratting as topping from the bottom, whining, cajoling or making requests after the initial denial as manipulative behavior that focuses on the slave's needs/desires instead of the dominant's and thus not proper. They look down on any behavior that is perceived as designed to force the dominant to meet a need of the slave, rather than the slave focusing on the dom's needs. A slave will strive for perfection within themselves in completin

Experienced as a dominant but have not had a full time submissive in my life for a long time. The desires to find a slave wife that enjoys dollification and rough play have become stronger over the last few years. A submissive that I can build a life with and that will connect with me in many different ways and in all the aspects of my life. Desire a full time situation within a 24/7 connection and desire. Very interested in age gaps, interracial relationships, small women, and deep levels of submission/devotion. Some vanilla interests:Ren FairsMedieval Combat Groups (SCA, Dagorhir, and similar)Role-playing GamesGaming Conventions (GenCon, Origins, and Gamehole Con)AnimeCosplayScience FictionPhilosophyPsychology (I have a bachelors in Psych) Live a fairly average life outside of my Kink areas. Desire a fulltime situation where kink and dominance is an inherent part of our day to day lives. Would enjoy a submissive that wants to be the stay at home domestic in a 1950s style relationship. As well as being a sweet little one that I can spoil and take care of in many different ways. Open as well to different dynamics depending on what fits our needs. Feel that play is for good times and obedient slave girls. Punishment is not being allowed to play. There is more information on my profile and please feel free to contact me if you are interested in seeing if we match.

Tree of life and tree of knowledge were not actually trees. The tree of life was God and the tree of knowledge was the devil. The devil was actively talking to Eve in the garden about how he felt towards God. Eve was believing him and started talking to Adam about it who wasn't sure but eventually sided with his wife Eve. They wanted the devil to rule over them instead of God. It was the devil who told them they were naked. It was the devil who said they weren't getting what they truly needed from God. When God came to the garden they hid from him thinking he was the bad guy that the devil made them to believe. They were clothed with leaves. God questioned this and asked who told them they were naked and they told them the devil did. God then asked them what else the devil said. God then gave them a choice to worship him or follow under the devil's care. They chose the devil. God kicked them out of the garden and explained to them they would die one day because they were leaving the tree of life behind and they would no longer have access to it. They would have to learn from their choices. 

Master's WritingsWho am I? Master's Writings Who am I? Last week, someone asked me who I was as a Dominant. Of course I could give a quick answer, but I found that I needed and wanted to go deeper. I found I wanted to reconfirm my values and challenge myself to really define why I do this and who I want to be in my role. If I am willing to ask a sub to be genuine in their role, then I can do no less than look deeper and find a better answer? So here goes.... Who am I? As a person, I feel I am knowledgeable, intelligent, fun and outgoing. I have traveled extensively, love exploring food (I’m quite the accomplished cook), movies, music, sports. I’d do anything for my two kids, and I have two golden retrievers, whom I love almost as much as my kids. As a Dominant, I have worked to craft myself as a knowledgeable, caring, always learning and growing Master, who cares deeply about the experience of my submissive(s). In fact, the experience of my sub is very important to me and I put attention and care into each session. As a Dominant, I observe everything, do and say everything for a specific purpose, and believe that the best dynamics are a blend of vanilla and kink. And even though I have 10 years of experience in the lifestyle, I still make mistakes, but I require it of myself to learn from them every time. I believe that truly meaningful play is significantly more mental than physical. It requires a mental connection between individuals that can only come when there is understanding, honesty, trust, and communication. I know that the better I understand my partners, the richer play can become. That is why I prefer to spend time to get to know a person, understand needs, wants desires long before we initiate a scene. My kinks and fetishes are far ranging, some listed on my profile are merely passing interests while others are core to my enjoyment. Together the list is all over the place and I expect that it always will. Life is short, why not try it all? Yet, I know that no one person will perfectly match all my tastes. Please know that I take limits very seriously because I would never force another to participate in anything they held up as a limit. Trust is built upon respect and without respect for limits there can be no trust. Within the lifestyle, I seek so many things (not in any particular order) – experiences, connection, partners, playmates, fun, intensely beautiful moments, relationships that reach a depth the average person die from envy, and so very much more. I have seen Dominants who are just bullies, who use their title as a license to be domineering or worse. This is NOT me. I dominate for a purpose - to inspire, create experiences and help others achieve things they never thought possible and yes for myself as well. I am Dominant because I believe it is my true nature. I felt it from the first moment I assumed the role and have continue to feel that way ever since. Yet even so, I must continue to work to improve and deepen my understanding of myself in the lifestyle, in the role and as a person, so after all this deep dive, I am grateful for that someone who ask me this important question last week. It made me think.

Roe v Wade   This has nothing to do with babies. If it was about babies, we'd have free healthcare. If it was about babies, you wouldn't have to pay to give birth. If it was about babies, we'd have months of paid leave. If it was about human babies, we wouldn't force mothers to have to choose to keep their job, or put their baby in daycare AT 6 WEEKS. It's ILLEGAL to take nursing kittens and puppy's from their mothers before 8 weeks. Why don't I have the same rights? This has NOTHING to do with babies. And EVERYTHING to do with suppressing a Woman's RIGHT to autonomy over her own body.

Still working on content for my page to all that have sent me email's I will get back to each and every one of you this week.But I need to make one thing clear. We are play partner's but with other people we just share the same kink's. He is my sub/slave and my protector should We/I decide to meet with anyone Outside of what we have here. And yes meeting someone is something we are looking for but only a select few will be chosen after all I am a DOM not a slut. So that should answer most of the question's that have been asked or at least the one's that we I see alot of. Back to working on my many other thing's.

He held up a bottle of bright red nail polish and placed it in front of me. “Your hands give you away,” he said. “If you’re going to commit to this, commit all the way.” I uncapped the bottle, my hands shaking slightly. One careful brushstroke became another. A few mistakes forced me to start over, but gradually each fingernail gleamed with a glossy crimson finish. “Now your toes,” he instructed. I hesitated, then nodded. When I finished, i sat quietly, waiting for the polish to dry. I glanced in the mirror, saw myself in lingerie, make-up, wig and red nails. “How does it feel?” he asked. I turned ny hands over, studying them from every angle. Such a small change, yet somehow it felt surprisingly significant. Every glance reminded me that I crossed another line. He smiled. “Good. You’re beginning to notice the details. Sometimes the smallest changes are the hardest to ignore—and the hardest to forget.”

May 16, 2023 - Sextoy69 got a HARD throat fucking today !It's been awhile since he has stopped by. And last time he came by it was unannounced and I was in my bathroom. He said it was hot that all I had on was the bathrobe.So this time, knowing he was going to arrive, I dressed all in leather. A leather jockstrap, a leather harness, a leather vest, a leather Sir cap.I told him to come on in when he gets here but instead I surprised him by meeting him in the garage dressed like I've described.His face lit up as soon as he walked into the garage and could see me. I told him, "I thought I would dress up a bit today for you."He said, that looks great.We headed upstairs and he started to lay down on the bed on his back. Normally I just climb on top of him and start throat fucking him right away. This time I had other ideas.I told him to get on all fours with his head down on the mattress and his ass in the air. I lubed up a finger and started playing with the outside of his ass. His dick started to get hard so I reached between his legs and started playing with it. Eventually I slipped my finger in his ass and found his prostate gland and started pushing on it. I felt his cock bounce in my other hand.I continued playing with his ass with one finger until I felt him starting to loosen up. Eventually I put a second finger in with a bit of extra lube. I stopped playing with his cock and concentrated on his ass for a while. I rotated my two fingers around stretching his hole open. His chest collapsed even more onto the bed as he pushed his ass higher into the air.I reached between his legs again and started playing with his hard cock. There was pre-cum dripping out. I pulled my fingers out of his ass, and collected some of the pre-cum on those fingers and shoved my fingers and his pre come back into his ass.As I played with his cock his ass tightened around my fingers. This only made it even more fun to spend my fingers around and listen to him moan. Occasionally after playing with his cock for a while my fingers were sticky with his precum so I started playing with my own cock using his pre-cum. I knew eventually he'd be sucking my dick which would mean he would be sucking his own pre-cum off my cock.Although we've been playing for a while I've only fucked him once before. And he didn't really like the experience, although he loves sucking and choking on my cock. As I was playing with his ass, and playing with my own cock using his precum, I wanted to fuck him so bad. But, we hadn't discussed it so I kind of put it out of my mind and just kept playing.I eventually got a third finger into his tight ass using even more lube. Then I reached back behind me to the table and got a large rubber dildo. It's narrower at the tip and grows wider as more and more gets pushed in. With very little effort, it started to slide in his ass. I pulled it out and shoved it back in, fucking him with it. Fucking him with it the way I wanted my cock to fuck him.I pushed a little deeper, and then pulled it all the way out again. Added a little lube and pushed it in to the same depth again. Still playing with my own cock, I would occasionally play with his cock to get more precum on my hand to lubricate my cock. He was pushing his ass higher and higher into the air, but at the same time spreading his legs so I could continue to play with this cock.The toy was now pushed in his ass far enough that it was equivalent to the three fingers I had in him just moments ago. So I pushed a little further, a little harder, and more of the toy slipped up his ass. His hole was now quite stretched. He was making wonderful grunting noises as I fucked him with it.   View the rest of tHe story at http://www.SirKel.top

Never mind the brit who I spent far too much time with only to determine that he preys on women as a CollarSpace occupation...but then to be followed by the next group: He doesnt fix his phone and therefore cannot communicate effectively. He cannot share his availability properly or set aside proper time to converse. He doesn't show up for the meeting - 1st time because he was sick and waits to tell Me at the appointed hour. He doesn't show up for the meeting - 2nd time because 'I worry him' and waits until the appointed hour. LOL He verbally attacks and berates when I show the least bit of consideration. He then contacts Me under another screeen name, different state, 15 years older. He tells Me we are not well matched. LOL YA THINK? Next one... 1st meeting - mandatory work schedule change; notified one or two days prior- accepted. 2nd meeting - computer virus effecting communication until last minute; contacted day prior. I had to find suitable PAID option as replacement - accepted. 3rd meeting - had to care for a family member, contact made day of and two hours prior to scheduled meet time - DENIED. aND Next... Meeting scheduled for 18 day visit in November after a few months of build up....then POOF!  I didn't even get a Dear Jane letter on that one! Oh yeah, almost forgot about the local chap who was more than willing to mow and weedwack one fine weekend a month ago... POOOOOOOOF!   YOU INCONVENIENCE A WOMAN WHO IS A FULL TIME CAREGIVER TO A SAINT?  ARE YOU SERIOUS? Regarding the first two subs...what they dont realize is it matters not that they didnt show up.  What matters is that they wanted Me to believe in their ability and desire and went to great lengths to convince Me of their worth and intention.  After I went to considerable lengths to prepare for our meetings, then to not show and cause not just Me an inconvenience but inturn My household - well that is INTOLERABLE.  Slaves My arse!  Bottom toppers is more like it! As of yesterday, 103124, I finally completed the work I had planned to complete with the first two gents.  It has taken Me TWO MONTHS to do what I could have done in two weekends with these men.  By making committments which they did not keep, they cost Me time and money and lots and lots of harder days with mum and FOR mum. Had I not made the plans with them, I would have a. made plans with others b. hired the help I need ahead of time c. restructured My schedule to accomodate a lack of assistance. Instead, My household has been stressed out trying to play catch up which means mother and I have had a stressed time, which means I DON'T TRUST YOU OR LIKE YOU. Ya'll are inconsiderate and you have been dealt with more than fairly.  You know what to do if you decide to get serious and stop playing around. Do what you say.  Say what you do.  Obey.  Simple. And for the love of Pete - stop making plans with women unless you intend on following through!

I am NOT a Pro Domme, but I use an app for texting called Telegram.  It is a free app. If you think it's a scam Look IT UP! Also, I'm not interested in games. If you are not sure if you're submissive, please don't bother contacting me. I am not intestered in "trying" to see.  I am also on Skype and fetlife.  Atomteacher for both. If you are local or willing to relocate feel free to send me a respectful message. I will NOT dominant you online, sext, role-play or watch you jerk off on Skype.  I will NOT send you pictures, videos or provide you material to masterbate to! There's plenty of porn online, use THAT not ME. I want a real person, a real D/s relationship! Please don't waste my time!    I require daily contact to properly vet you. If you are too busy to send me a text daily, then you are too busy for me. If you can watch YouTube on toilet for 20 minutes then I really think you give me that much time daily through the vetting process.      

Another essential book for many people on this site is Bruce Bagemihl, Biological Exuberence: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity, St. Martin's Press, 1999.  I'll bet many of you didn't know so many animals were gay and lesbian; relationships with one male and one female are not all that common among most mammals and birds.  There are lots of rapes in some species (like mallard ducks), something of interest to BDSM people.  There are also a few transgenders among animals, either those looking like neither sex (like velvet-horn whitetail deer), or those just behaving like the opposite sex (like a class of male bighorn sheep that act like females and hang out with females all the time -- but don't have sex with the females).  I found it funny that PBS lin 2024 broadast a Ken Burns 6-hour documentary on preservation of bison, but didn't have time to once mention that male bison are primarily gay, something many native Americans knew but European settlers never figured out.  Since the documentary focused on efforts to preseve herds starting in the late 19th century, putting all the males and females together in one herd as was often done doesn't work too well when most males are gay almost all the time. 

I have been in severe physical pain from a recent surgery. I chose to let myself feel it seep through my body so I could concentrate on it. Meditate on it. Use it to help me find clarity and wisdom. Every time I felt like I could not find a comfortable position to lay, or awakened with fresh discomfort, I tried to memorize it since it is my only chance to catch a glimpse of what a sub does. After all, I am not interested in allowing anyone control or opportunity to inflict pain in any scene. I do not like pain but when the choice is between emotional, mental or physical, I believe it is somehow useful to let the physical carry you over the threshold. I wanted to be able to relate to what a submissive man seeks when he is reaching for that space between physical endurance and challenging his mind to accept his position despite all of society impying that he should never give in to his submissive needs.   I also wanted to use this opportunity to accept the decisions I am making that are emotionally difficult. The real truth about me as a Domminant woman is I desire true submission on MY terms, not his.    

    Shopping for harnesses makes me want to design a more woman friendly design    

So, maybe I lack vision?  I am real, totally real, and wanting real, totally real... Why do people from across the country, or even other countries message me and want to like, just chat?  I am not looking to supply fantasies for some married man.  That is not my game here.  Local man, messages local woman, message back and forth a few times, move off site, message a few more times, (We can chat on the phone, but I will be honest, I hate phones, I use it to conduct business, and avoid it even at that, I even just emailed a doctor to avoid a phone call…  I read body language and facial expressions, and without them, I am lost in the conversation.  Voice inflection and pitch etc are lost on me.)  We meet for a quick coffee or something, so that if it is horrible it isn’t drug into a long awkward thing, and it if is wonderful we can sit and order a second coffee and sit for hours, or even get it to go, and find a park or someplace quieter to talk…   Then maybe progress to a meal, lunch, dinner, whatever schedules allow, and then progress from there… If you are in London, and I am in Kansas… are you planning to fly in for coffee?  Planning to relocate?  If so, cool, we can start chatting.  Otherwise… this is not the woman you are looking for… (waves Jedi hand and you pass on to the next profile…) NO You Star Wars nerd!  You did not just find the one if you are not local!  Go back to the begining and read again! Facepalm... lol

This morning I saw the following on a profile from a heterosexual dom who has a wickledly fun screen name that gets my attention every time I see it. He asks,  "What can a straight male Dom do for a male slave? I am at a loss as to what I can do for male subs and slaves and why they look at my profile when I say no men?" So, I thought I would answer this. For the most simple response, speaking on behalf of all the kinky gays, someone with a great screen name like "IAMTHEBESTMASTER", or similar, makes one look no matter what they have between their legs. Second, sometimes a profile just slips through with the "couple" selection and/or even states sub males on the interest choices. Finally, speaking for me and I assume a select group of kinky gays, this is not about sex for me. I am driven by masculinity and, on my sub side, authority. Having a straight dom take control and train me like a naked employee where the need to please and be pleased is not based on sexual attraction is quite hot and will make me a better man all the way around. Also, it's just fun to look at what you can't have sometimes. So, there is my response.

    11/07/2024    Take Notice    I will be unavailable until further notice.      The noted positions have not been filled ...    For those that meet preferences and follow direction       I may or may not be checking in periodically.   

My Experience/Play History i have engaged in casual play with 4 mistresses, one session each. Two had no idea what they were doing, and couldn't seem to decide what to do next. Those experiences were deeply unsatisfying. The third apparently had no interest in anything but beating me, which She did with brisk enyed it, but there was nothing else. No training, no rules, no laying the groundwork, no teasing, no nothing. The last was skilled, had a very commanding presence, and went about Her work with energy and direction. Even though it was a brief session, it was quite thrilling. Unfortunately, however, She was all but impossible to communicate with regarding expectations and scheduling and suchlike, and after two weeks of trying to get together again, i gave up. i often regret this. en regret this.   0 loves

In Regards to Domestic Servitude If you are wondering what some of the tasks will be, here is a list: Doing the chores, cleaning, and errands to include: Picking up packages, groceries, dry cleaning Changing the bed sheets, maintaining and putting the laundry away Keeping the closets organized  Watering the plants Draw my bath and pull down the bed covers To be a Chauffeur  Wait on and pamper me Massages Foot and Body Worship

It's amazing how quickly your priorities change when death comes knocking on your door.  A couple months ago, it kicked my door down.  I found a tumor in my neck and it was cancerous.  And all of a sudden, all the plans I had, all the priorities, all the needs and wants which drove my decisions, all got pushed into the background, and my only need and priority became don't die.  This is a really nasty cancer.  Both because the treatment is so invasive and damaging, and because it likes to come back. I read everything I could find about it as I was going through all the tests but the information I could find sucked.  It was contradictory and very little of it applied to my particular situation.  Plus my Dr. was feeding me sunshine and rainbows and wouldn't give me a straight answer.  Fortunately, the tests showed I had caught it really early and it hadn't spread, so it was still stage 1.  But I needed surgery on my neck and throat, and this time everything I read was in agreement.  This was the most painful surgery there is.  But, gotta do it before it does spread, and hopefully they would get it all and I would not need radiation and chemo.  So surgery was last month, and they were not exaggerating about the pain. Plus it left half my face either numb or paralyzed though the Dr. says that will fix itself with time.  But unfortunately, the pathology from the surgery wasn't good.  And I will need 6 weeks of radiation, which starts in a couple weeks.  And that fucks you up far more than the surgery did.  Yay me.  And even if I get the radiation, there is a 15 percent chance the cancer comes back, and a 10 percent chance it kills me if it does.  But probably not for 3-6 years and maybe they will have a cure by then.  So I am really looking forward to them frying my face off with radiation. But this is not my first time I have faced death and kicked it's ass.  Twice in the military, and one previous go round with cancer.  This one feels different though.  The two military brushes with death were instantaneous type things and either kill you or they don't.  The first cancer never really caused me to fear death, though it easily could have been fatal had circumstances been just a little different. All of this has given me the time and motivation to reassess what I am going to do with the rest of my life after getting this radiation. What I decided is that I am going to keep living it, but maybe with a bit more urgency, because I truly do not know how much time I have left. But my intention is to beat this thing just like I beat the last one, and live a great many more happy, healthy years. And I also realized, they whether I have 6 years or 60 left, I do not want to live them alone. Which does not mean I am going to lower my standards a single iota. I would still rather be alone than in the wrong relationship. But I am going to change my approach and work at finding the right someone(s) a lot harder. It is impossible to miss the trend of so many women, especially the younger ones, to view BDSM as transactional, and seek some sort of payment for their attention. Though it is rather amusing that so many believe that their very existence entitles them to be paid for doing absolutely nothing. Having minored in economics while I was getting my three business degrees, I have since been aware that everything we humans do is transactional, whether we are aware of it or not. It is the laws of economics, not the laws of physics that govern human behavior. Nobody, no matter how selfless, does anything for nothing. Every decision we make,we weigh the risk vs the reward and the penalties we incur if we fail. Unfortunately most people have no idea how to do this correctly and almost always give far too much weight to the risk and penalty side of the equation, which holds them back from so much in life out of fear of failure. But I have no problem acknowledging that this a transactional based dynamic, rather than keeping it subliminal. I have no desire for a pay to play or I could go to a professional. I am seeking a committed, 24 7, long term relationship to include both vanilla and BDSM. I seek a true slavery dynamic. Some call it TPE, though I find that inadequate. I also desire one sided poly, which leaves you free to have as many other relationship as you wish, while I serve only you. So here is what I bring to the table I own a very nice, large home in a very safe, upscale area of Phoenix, AZ. So I offer long term stability without having to worry about making the rent or being evicted or fearing for your safety in, or when entering or leaving your home. I have a guaranteed income for the rest of my life which gives me enough money to pay all of my bills and enough left over to enjoy my life. As my bills will decrease with time, the excess will then increase. I am not, however, a SD. I will expect you to contribute according to your ability to do so. When it comes to the house, maintaining the household, and paying the bills, we are all on an equal basis. I will expect you to either continue your education with the goal of having a career,or getting a job. Details on how and what you contribute are negotiable. I can carry most of the financial load while you are in school or working your way upin your career. And finally, you get me. You have never met a male slave like me before. I was introduced to BDSM and taught long before the internet existed. I am nothing like any of the other men who call themselves slaves or submissives. But rather than go on about how wonderful I am, that can keep. Because it doesn't matter how wonderful I think I am, it only matters how wonderful you think I am. And that works both ways. Unlike most male subs, I won't just roll over to any woman who would have me. I have declined to serve probably thousands of women, and will continue to do so until the one who is right for me comes along. No matter how long that takes. The woman I seek is truly dominant, not dress up and pretend politically correct BDSM like most. She values intelligence and integrity. She has pride in herself, ambition and has set life goals to motivate herself to excel. Since we are going to at times have to pretend to be vanilla, she can compartmentalize. That is it. If I think of more, or as my cancer treatments progress, I will write further journal updates. Most of what I wrote is negotiable to some extent. Well except for her being intelligent and possessing integrity. I offer great service and a secure and happy home. If you believe you can do better, I wish you well.

Insatiable A work of non-fiction "How many was that?"It's a common question I ask her, while she lies there panting. Her mascara is running from her watering eyes, as she looks down her naked body at me and tries to think. Her mind, normally sharp as a steel trap, full of important information, years of schooling, and an intelligence that accentuates her sophistication, is mush. She blissfully struggles to form words into coherent sentences. "Twelve or thirteen?" She asks. We had only just begun, and I hadn't even pulled the wand out yet."Are you asking or telling me," I inquire and remind her it's her job to keep track of her orgasms. "But Sir, it's hard when they roll one into the next," she says quietly.I smile.I know she can't keep track of them when things start rolling, and the waves crash one after the next. "We'll just have to keep practicing," I say with a grin.We take a break and enjoy the meal I cooked. I enjoy cooking. Perhaps its the mastery over something so many can only do passingly, that fills me with such satisfaction. It seems to be a pattern in my life. Mastery. Control. Domination. Winning. All similar, yet different.After dinner we play chess. She's a beginner and eager to play. I smile once more. Her eagerness and joy just to play is refreshing. We play two games and I'm never in any danger of losing either one. I make quick work of both games, thinking deeply on how to most effectively secure the win as to not prolong things unnecessarily - I only inflict pain that is desired. And frankly, she deserves my best, she's been a good girl all day.As we put the pieces away, she asks if we can play some more. As mentioned, she has been a good girl all day, so I tell her of course.She has a burning need to be restrained and spanked. I build her anticipation with teasing kisses and deliberately take my time applying the cuffs to her wrists and ankles. I get her into position on the bed and attach the spreader bar to the ankle cuffs, and connect the wrist restraints behind her back.Her beautiful ass now high in the air, her blindfolded head resting on the soft blanketed surface of the bed, I begin administering what she desperately wants and needs.The orgasms begin anew when I use the wand on her clit. Sometimes they crash while my fingers apply pressure to her G-spot, sometimes while I paddle her ass. Unable to close her legs, or reach down to push the wand away, she accepts the orgasms as they well up inside her. Each forced orgasm melts her brain a little more.She's responsive on a primal level - coos and grunts - and has stopped making coherent sounds like words. Her body, mostly limp, is exhausted as it stiffens with her latest orgasm and then relaxes.I ask if she is ready to finish, and she nods slowly. The wand is put away and she counts her final 10 swats, thanking me and asking for another after each.When it's over, we cuddle. I'm still fully clothed and quite content. I tell her what a good girl she was, and how proud of her I am. She thanks me and nuzzles her sweaty form into my embrace.I smile and contemplate.Is she insatiable? She will want more again soon. Thoughts and memories of what I do to her, and how much she desperately craves it, invade her mind and linger while we are apart.Am I insatiable? The sights and sounds of her orgasms are some of my favorite things. I find that want her to experience longer and more intense releases, and for her to know it was at my hands.Perhaps, the truth is we're both insatiable.

A few things that need said.   One ... I am currently 58.  Due to not using email this account was created with, unable to do updates... do to this was created with an email I can no longer access. Secondly, I am very real.  So don't come at Me saying you're serious .... then not be.  I am not here to waste your time or Mine. Thirdly, My divorce is final.  If you need to know more just ask. Fourthly, I am healing.  And won't let the circumstances hinder Me no longer if I can help it.   Fifthly, I am working to move back to the USA by the end of 2025 at the latest. Sooner if possible. Lastly, as life goes, curves are thrown at Us.  So at 58, a new chapter is beginning.  Nuff said  

In the bustling aisles of the crowded store, a familiar presence halted her steps. There, amidst the sea of faces, she glimpsed him once more. He pulled a bottle of whiskey from the shelf, his eyes caught hers, and a smile appeared on his face. His eyes deepens like a predator on the prowl. Their life unfolded in fleeting scenes, in the intimate cocoon of their shared space, they found solace on the plush leather couch, bathed in the soft glow of dimmed lights. The air carried the delicate fragrance of roses and vanilla, an intoxicating blend that clung to her skin. As they nestled together, the subtle scent added a layer of warmth to the cozy atmosphere. Her skin, soft as the gentle caress of a summer breeze, invited him closer. The curves of her form molded against the cushions, creating a haven of comfort. Long, brown, and curly, her hair cascaded with a wild and untamed beauty, echoing the free-spirited nature that danced within her. His hand roamed around her body, exploring its entirety. His other hand held his favorite leash its leather warm and worn from his hand working the leather over the years of wear. He started letting the leash work through his hand pulling her head down slowly, further in to his lap.She turned her head to catch his eyes as she adjusted her body.“May I please?” Her sweet voice called to him like a sirens call, as his lip lifted in a half smile.“May you sir?” He said as he pulled on the leash making her head pull forward her nose pushing in to his cock.She looked up at him, “May I please suck your cock sir?” Her voice called up to hîm her hands running up his thighs.“Mmmm of course.” His voice growled.

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