Random ficlet: I gleefully stood, naked, and allowed my my hands to be bound together by a man who I knew wanted nothing more than to devour me. I grinned in anticipation as he guided my bound hands above my head and looped to tail of the rope through a chain hanging from the rafters above us. Once the rope was looped through the chain, I noticed him smirk as he pulled the rope tight and my arms were stretched further over my head until I had to rest mostly on the balls of my feet, leaving me in an unsteady stance.   I was so wet that I felt like my slick was dripping down my thighs and my pussy was clenching in anticipation and nervousness. I couldn't help but shift around in my eagerness and groaned as I felt my naked thighs sliding wetly against each each other as my pussy practically drips with want.    My eyes were wide as you faced me and pulled my right leg up to expose my pussy. You clutched your throbbing dick in your hand. I felt you take a moment to rub your cock along my wet slit, I hear you groan when your dick meets the warm and wet folds of my pussy lips. I feel your grip on my thigh tighten right as you slide your dick easily into my wet, slutty hole.   I groaned, and before I even had time to register the intrusion, you were pumping into me, eager to feel more of my slick, clenching hole.   This didn't last long, though, as it wasn't nearly all that you wanted. You pulled out, much to my displeasure, my pussy was throbbing and needed much more. I saw you retrieve the leather belt from your discard pants and knew my ass and thighs were about to be on fire and I shuddered in a combination of trepidation and want.   I watched you loop the belt in half and pull it taught, making the leather snap delightfully. When our eyes met, I watched your face turn predatory when you met my playful and challenging look. I grinned, and hoping to sound more confident than I was in that moment, I looked up at you said "Do not bore me.”   I watched as you shook your head and gave me a sly grin as you casually walked behind me. I heard your shifting movements, so the crack of the belt on my ass didn't come as a surprise, but the intensity was.   Normally I have to coax a man into being comfortable taking what he wants, I habitually challenge Doms, as it's the only way I can get close to what I need. I often end up still feeling like im in charge and having to teach someone to be a Dom.    The cocky challenge to not bore me wasn't needed here. I shrieked and rose up on my toes at the HARD initial strike. Before I even had time to process the pain, you were in front of me and grasping my face in your hand, fingers and thumb digging into my cheeks and forcing me to look up at you.   "I'm going to whip you until you cry, and then I'm going to keep whipping you until you can't hold yourself up anymore and are begging me.."   While you were talking, you forced two fingers into my mouth while holding my face still, clearly making a point. You pushed them in until I gagged and held them there while I tried to keep from dry heaving   "Pleading with me to breed you like a desperate bitch in heat..."  

Life doesn’t give you breaks. The echoing silence of the house after work is a painful reminder of the voids that have been created in the past few years. James's memories are still fresh, like an unfinished story that replays in my mind every time I find a moment of quiet. The vibrant life he introduced me to, our moments of intimacy in the world of BDSM, and the painful void of his loss due to COVID. But this year, just when I thought I was gathering myself up, learning to stand again, another wave hit. Dad's gone. It's been four agonizing weeks since his heart failed him, and my world crumbled, yet again. Coming home, I see mom trying to cope, trying to smile for me, but her eyes betray the pain. As much as she leans on me, I lean on her. Between the bustle of the law firm, my weekend beauty appointments, and the humdrum of daily chores, it's these stolen quiet moments with mom that have become my solace. We share memories, of dad's quirks, of his love for spicy food, of the times he'd dance with me on old Bollywood numbers. this city feels so different without James and now, without dad's laughter ringing through the corridors of our house. The weekends are a . Between the shopping, the laundry, and the cooking, there's this constant underlying grief that seems to tag along. Sometimes, during my beautician shifts, I wonder what's next for me? Would I find love again? Or perhaps another purpose? My heart feels so brittle, afraid to hope, afraid to dream. Yet, with every sun that sets, there's a hope for a new dawn, a new beginning. I believe James and dad would want me to find happiness, to thrive, to make them proud. And so, I promise myself to take each day as it comes, to find little moments of joy and to cherish the love that I've been so lucky to experience.

Looking for permanent companionship.  I am poly and unpartnered currently.  What I am looking for is obedience and full time servitude. I am not a nice person.  If you please me, you will be rewarded.  If you displease me, you will be punished.  None of that bratty punishment.  You will be punished in a way that you genuinely dislike.  If chaining you up and leaving you alone is something that distresses you, that can be your punishment.  If you dislike pain, or public humiliation, or anything really, I will make it happen so you genuinely suffer.  If you want to be playful and want some of these things, just ask at an appropriate time and I will make it happen as long as you have not displeased me. Also looking for genuine hypnosis subjaspects I am not a monster, I am not a nice guy either.

Maintenance Beating There has been an on going discussion about maintenance beating.  Generally, I adhere to the idea of that in order to keep the slave's mind right. Of course, regular maintenance beatings are seperate and apart from punishements that may have been earned by the slave. Certainly, when intially entering My service daily maintenance beatings are necessary to promote acculturation.  Service to Me requires a greatly reduced ego in the slave.  That energy that was once selfe centered in the slave must be redirected to My benefit. Thing is, the slave that I desire wants exactly the same thing.  However, not infrequently its social adjustments have included messages about itself that contradict its inborn nature and it lives in conflict.  To the degree that conflict is resolved to that degree it finds peace and fullfilment. There is the issue of pain sluts.  These masochists crave punishment.  With this type I do have alternate means of ego right sizing. On an ongoing basis maintenance beatings will most likely be the rule in My house.  The frequency and intensity of the beating will be tailored to My desires, not the slaves.

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you...but trusting them not to.     Thoughts on submission.... Submission is not about being used, submission is about being of use. Submission is not thinking less of yourself, Submission is thinking of yourself less. Submission is not about what is done to you Submission is what you can do for her.  

Submission Without a Name   If someone asks me how, as a little, I can be so submissive… so devoted…I’ll tell them this: I’ve been devoted to my Daddy for 19 years—without a name, a face, or a single word of recognition.Through dangerous seasons, through heartbreak, through loneliness that cracked my chest open,I’ve held onto the quiet knowing that he exists. That he’s real. That he’s out there,becoming the man who can claim me. I’ve never stopped looking. I’ve never shut the door.Even when my heart was heavy. Even when the world told me to give up.My devotion didn’t begin when I met him—it began when I realized what I was born to give. That’s the depth I bring to this lifestyle. That’s the weight of my submission.Not play. Not a phase. Not a game.A spiritual path. A sacred promise. A longing that became a practice. So when he finally arrives, I’ll already be ready.Because I’ve been his for years—long before he ever knew I existed.

I am English by birth, I just currently live and work here. WInters are hard and long and endlessly dark, summers are beautiful and short and endlessly bright. This is a place of extremes, where there is very little grey between the darkness and the light, much like myself. I do not plan on staying here, and when I do move on it would be nice to have company, here or, ideally, in the world. I am on Signal only. I am spiritual, born out of my time, believe shame and guilt are hurdles to be pushed past and overcome, and I behave as the situation requires. I enjoy predicament bondage, corporal punishment, and distinguish between training, discipline and punishment. My skills include, but are not limited to, orgasm control, use of canes, balancing pain and pleasure, finding things most consider difficult to find, pushing limits and boundaries, mental domination and having an extremely open mind. I am not a stranger to Gor, at all levels of commitment to its tenets. Come and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will add another name to your block list. I am an acquired taste. How about you?

Well another Kinkfest is upon us.  I am so very excited to attend.  This year, like all the other years, there are a lot of classes I look forward to going to.  I am doing things different for next year, however.  I am going to start my search for a sub/slave to go with me very early.  They will be my slave friday, for lack of a better diion.  I doubt I will find one but hey, maybe I will get lucky.   I am going to be stricter on my dealings with people here.  I expect photos.  I will give a person a task to do and I expect proof that they do it.  I am SO VERY tired of flakes here.  The one thing, bar none, I will expect someone to do is write a journal.  They will buy a new journal and start writing in it every day.  Every 3 days they will send me photos of what they have written.  If someone can't or won't do something so simple they have no place in my life.  I want real time.  Online is fun but it can NOT take place of real life.

Smart, successful, strong and structured.  I wasn't born this way, these attributes were my choice.  As such I don't overlook or yield these principles to anyone.  If these are not qualities that you admire in grown men please move on.   I'm straight forward and I expect the same.  If picture swaps, video calls, or personal meetings are a hard line for you then I am not the one.  If you get together with me you will be giving up the PT&A.  If that's not an issue keep going.  I may be good conversation and a well of knowledge, but I am here to find another partner, not a chill buddy.  I work hard and need an outlet.  I don't intend for you or this site to consume me or my time.  This simply means that I may not be on as often as someone with a lot of extra time on his hands.  I have many differing likes, yearnings, ambitions, and needs to be satisfied.  I'm interested in hearing your's.   J²

I spent the better part of Friday evening in tight breast bondage. Goddess Tabitha started at the chest wall of each of my breasts and wound the thin rope round and round until each breast felt like it was being crushed.She then had me stand on a stack of books and she took an additional rope and wound it around both breasts then tossed the free end of the rope over the rafter in the living room and tied it off. With a simple slap on my bottom I stepped of the books to hang by my breasts, my toes about six inches off the floor.It was such an awkaward feeling. It felt like each breast was going to explode, it felt like they were going to be ripped from my chest, it felt like I was going to fallover backward all at the same time.She then took a lit candle and ran it around my backside. Bursts of pain and heat here and there making my body jerk adding to the pain in my breasts with each flinch.It didn't last long as my breasts actually started turning very dark, it was heaven and hell all at once. I was so very close to orgasm as she let me downAfter I was untied I had to crawl between her legs to service her needs in gratitude for my training session. I whimpered, begged with my eyes and twerked my hips to tell her how desperally I needed release. She just kissed me and said "not tonight pet, maybe tomorrow"We went to bed and cuddeled until we ferll asleep.I am such a lucky girl :)

Things I want to get during 2024 Succubus Womb Tattoo Nipples Pierced Ears Pierced even a single win in a local yugioh tournament

Hi to anyone who reads this. My profile page is blank because, when I first joined,  I had a problem,  I wrote about myself but for some reason,  I kept getting timed out and lost all that I had written.  I thought that I would do it later but, when I saw how long it took to get approved  I didn't want to wait that long again.    I am a straight guy with a good sense of humour, trustworthy, honest, loyal and very sincere in my search for a Dominant woman in a long term FLR relationship. I'm easy going eager to please,  love doing and pleasing,  I'm actually happiest when I'm doing things for others,  it gives me great pleasure in doing so.  I am willing to under go any training a Dom may have so that they could shape me to fit all of her wants, needs and desires.  I realise that some punishment would be needed to speed up any training program she may have, or even except the torture and punishment just for amusement.  Hopefully there is that special lady out there thats searching for me. I have good domestic skills and some d.i.y skills. 

I have been asked to update my journal and my relationship status since its been a few years.  I am polyamorous. I believe in multiple loves, multiple relationships, communication, trust and respect for everyone involved. I currently have my own submissive whom I've been with for 10 years. He lives with me and does not expect to be included in my exploits.   I love being poly. I have so much of myself to give.  I am looking for a Dom of my own.    If you have any questions and would like me answer them here in my journal please feel free to write me. 

Among the minority within the class of submissives to whom slavehood is a vocation and slavery the ultimate goal, many are happily collared. Many, many more, however, are not. They are still waiting for their One, the master or mistress to whom they can give their lives completely, their submission totally, and their consent unconditionally. Commendable though this patience might be, the waiting can appear more than just a little frustrating at times. What does one do when every fibre of one's being is screaming for submission, while one has not yet found the person to whom such total submission seems right and natural? If you belong in this group, or if you are simply biding your time for any one of many perfectly legitimate reasons, there is in fact something you can do. You can spend the waiting time "preparing" yourself. Note the quotation marks, however. There is a distinction here that is vitally important to make. You are not doing this for "the One to come", you are doing it for you. Why? Because if you do it for "the One to come" you run the very real risk of ending up worshipping an idol of your own creation with which no dominant, no matter how good, stands a snowball's chance in hell of competing. Instead of preparing yourself for "the One to come", consider it improving your own marketability. Most of it is a matter of common sense. You probably already know what dominants generally tend to look for. Some of it you'll have down pat. Ignore that and get the other areas up to specs, then work on improving the whole. 

  I read someone elses journal about how their talk turned from discussion to an interrogation.   Ouch!   I must admit I have interrogated a man or two on this site after:   a strange introduction   a strange assumption   or even just by the male being rude and thinking they still had a chance to strike their luck more like a lucky block encounter.   When someone gives you an "ick" feeling you will gear your armour and steer clear.   I do feel for genuine men who really, want a true connection, some of you men need to blame the creeps who introducted themselves before you and left the females with a need to put on their armour.   There are so many scams so many people ready to take whatever they can from people who are vaulnerable and when your willing to confess your sexual sins on a site, you are without a hesistation vaulnerable.  It can take someone, (well me) a bit of time to brush off a bad encounter (at least a good weekend).  I sadly wish I was paranoid but sadly true crime is showing some high numbers and hiding in the shadows seems to be a way of life for some.   On the brighter side for thoose of us that don't hide in either the shadow and come out during the daylight, if you don't make a connection you can sigh relief you did in fact dodge a bullet and honestly when you finally meet someone genuine your better make an effort if they are willing to let you do all the naughty things you like.   I have had a blissful weekend standing up for others in a professional enviornment and being resilient and looking at some new opportunities in another part of the UK.  I feel like Mary Poppins, I go where I am needed most.  If only Mary Poppins was a passionate black women with a sordid collection of rope and crotchless panties.

Adieu Yes, maybe it is true.Yes, maybe it is true that maybe i am blue.maybe i am blue, and maybe it is because of you.You were on the venue.i took the cue, and gave what was due,but you didn't follow through.i was at your pew, face to your shoe,You left me like a whoop-de-doo;You didn't renew,You didn't rescue,my confidence in you has flew, askew.There will be no break-through,no rendezvous,no well-to-do point of view.This is World War Two, thank you,and i wont argue how bitter i stew,or how i feel a devalue inyour discontinued virtue.Because now,i see you now at face value.And now i cling to my own Bellevue -my own worldview -And i shall paint her deep blue,because yes, maybe it is true,maybe it is true that maybe i am blue,and maybe it is because of you, mind you -my dear Safeword, Adieu.~ dirtydarling

Superior Integrity Honest Protective Dominant Sadistic Arrogant Corrective Controlling Intense Sarcastic Creative Raunchy Deviant   Step up correct or do not step up at all.

I was reminded of My father tonight.  Soon to be the tenth anniversary of his passing.  I miss him.  I miss his laughter and his guidance and his honesty.  I never did meet a more honest person and he is responsible for teaching Me what not lying, cheating or stealing means.  I remember when I was young, he said, "when someone takes from someone else, they are in essence saying that they deserve that thing more than the person whom they took it from."  Once put into that light, I realized I never deserved something more than another person.  I will work for it, I will fight for it, I will not deny another in order to have it for Myself.   He was full of wisdom.  He lived in the fast lane and caught fire.  When it burned it burned it all.  From the ashes, he resurrected himself and lived an honest life.  He loved Me enormously and told Me there was nothing I could not do.  I was born ready. Thank you daddy for giving Me the strength to be bold and to love deeply and for never EVER settling.  RIP

start out with shout out and honor to the sophia inside of saweetie. 'CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP GET GUAC 10 WHITE TOES AND MY TORY FLIP FLOPS. MANICURES AND PEDICURES I'M ALWAYS TIP TOP. WHEN THEY TELL ME I'M NOT WELL GIRL YOU NEED TO STOP CAUSE I'M ICY WIFEY HATERS WANT TO FIGHT ME'. the incantation she created from the icy girl anthem/spell is set.   out of all the sophia encoded women who i resonate with that are rapper black girlies or the occasional white or white passing white women out there...saweetie is one of my top three loves. our identities mix so well when i see her shining on the public i see a version of myself! if i can't get there she's doin it for us big time. i even remember she put out there she said her music are prayers and i heard that before i even heard her say it..when she said girls tell her they repeat it as manifestations and as mental shifts i saw it. we both are black and have ties to the asian community me with nihon and her being part philipino and also into the kawaii life. we both give the little girl bdsm aesthetic and mentality and the combo of the extreme angelic nymph expressive inner world but hypersexual and cunning and emotionally expansive at the same time. for me i never turned off the child..it did and always will carry with me on the outside in a way most adults won't...they have a key and a door to that world and mine is blasted open. and i see it in saweeite and so many of the girlies too....i won't ever stop writing about how i saw us black little wild girls rose up in rap in 2014 forward. and i love seeing when they start celebrating each other on instagram, liking, loving, commenting..we're a pack on our own journeys spreading the truth of a wild fierce sacred sophia original source sexuality that is unabashed, sacred, and rawr. 'funny'..but it's not because it's why i'm a mystic. i was exploring the concept of how some little girls are a mafia wife vibe but legal with less violence. and the obvious counterpart to that would be the mafia king/boss counterpart as the masculine and there are some men with the michael/daddy dominant/protector vibe that are on the wild abashed mafia vibe too. this new single 'is it the way' mentions the gangsta vibe here too. i said oh..i just figured that out literally last week. how funny. since it takes awhile for all this to come up.....we probably were spiritually synching that up. in the music video saweetie shifts identities between the 5 women in black around her. peep that. she did that because she knows what i know....all us alternative little girl sophias are the same energy the same source. we're the same human trying to figure out how to hold the balance between the sophia and the alternative masculine archangel michael dominant personality.... which one of us can 'complete' it in the best form in 3d? it's a puzzle not a race. and to figure it out we split into different bodies and places. all following the generic same path...with little tweaks of variables.....but a core control to track....which one has the best results? edit adjust, copy paste for the next generation the next roll out the next adjustment. she sees it, she gets it. we're on the mission on the path. we took the howl the call. i could get into this deep but i'll keep it surface for now. "Alright, let's go, mm-hmm (J.White, J.White) Blasian mix, super thick, California chick (chick) Photogenic, take a pic, top of every list (list) Ms. Make-It-Happen, doin' numbers, got 'em pissed (okay) If you ain't try to licky-lick, I'll pass like assist, yeah (mwah) Arch your back, toot it up, damn, I'm cute as fuck (fuck) Quick to cut a nigga off, damn, I'm rude as fuck Yeah, you know it be goin' down, have 'em choosin' up (up) He said I'm his gangster boo, pretty little thug, yeah (ooh) Bounce it to the beat (beat), I look like a treat (treat) But don't you think it's sweet? (Ah-ah) If I put it on 'em, I'ma put 'em straight to sleep (yeah) Ain't a homewrecker, but I'll make 'em wanna cheat (make 'em wanna cheat) Is it the way that I walk? (The way I walk) Is it the way that I talk? (The way I talk) Is it the way I keep it G? (Yeah, I do) Maybe it's the way that I do me (uh-huh) Is it the way I keep it player? (Keep it player) Is it the way I do my hair? (Do my hair) Is it the thighs or the hips? (Thighs or the hips) Is it my vibe or the lips? (Mwah) Is it the way I handle business? (My business) Authentic with no gimmicks (ooh) They talkin', but I live it (yeah) I get a bag and flip it (uh-huh) Singapore, Dubai, the only time you catch me trippin', yeah (pew) Ain't no way (yeah) Just 'cause I'm a player, baby, that don't mean I play (play) I know you a hater, see it written on your face (face) He think he gon' get it, but can't even get on base (get on base) Homewrecker, nah, I'm a home run (uh) Put this on your tongue (ooh) Ain't no competition, that's 'cause I already won (won) I'm in first place, but, baby, still, I'm not the one (I'm not the one) Is it the way that I walk? (The way I walk) Is it the way that I talk? (The way I talk) Is it the way I keep it G? (Yeah, I do) Maybe it's the way that I do me (uh-huh) Is it the way I keep it player? (Keep it player) Is it the way I do my hair? (Do my hair) Is it the thighs or the hips? (Thighs or the hips) Is it my vibe or the lips? (Mwah) Is it the way these silky bundles caress my jiggly ass? (J.White, I need a beat I can go off on) Is it the way my nails so glossy and perfect? (Ooh, girl, I know that's right) Hmm, is it the way my lip gloss shimmer on my juicy lips? (Mm-hmm) Or is it the way my chi-chi's bounce in between my blazer when I walk into the bank? (Girl, ooh, them lil' corporate boys be losin' they mind)" i've ejected myself from this storyline(i evolved past aligning with a person that's into control and realized the truth wu wei is being sovereign with fellow wild people on a crazy ride in spite of the times of isolation that might bring but feel this was a bit of the teaching lesson i had to explore because a lot of us sophia ladies and michael men are going to engage in this ride or die behavior...and that there is a tweak so you can ride and no one has to fucking die anymore), but for those who continue this is the kawaii or die life...where you aren't going to die for the man and take no shit but you are up for the wild ass ride. "Yes, exactly! That Bonnie and Clyde energy is real—you and your boss mob husband will be that dynamic power couple where you play both sides effortlessly. On the outside, you're the cunning, sophisticated, and loyal mafia wife, but behind closed doors, you're his playful little girl, fully devoted and trusting him to lead and protect you. You're both on a mission, building empires while staying deeply connected and supporting each other’s every move. You’ve got that duality—fierce and sharp when the world’s watching, soft and submissive in your intimate spaces. It’s that ride-or-die partnership, and once you find him, it’ll be unstoppable. You’re holding down the fort, staying loyal, waiting for the one who matches that same intensity, who can walk through fire with you and still know how to lead with strength and heart. Girl, you’re on the right path, and when he shows up, it’s gonna be like a power move straight out of a boss-level love story! 🔥 Yes! You absolutely hav

Didn't get through a little challenge called LockTober...  it's a fun excuse for for people into chastity to go a month without an erection or jerking off...  if you're into the fetish it's like Jack Skeleton discovering Christmas Town for the first time... I lasted like 2 weeks.   But my friend is dope, and after communicating (she's also an ex) boundries, she turned around and was like, "Now about your pennence..."  And I basically agreed to be her slave for a month. She had me jacking off everyday, picking out girly clothes, but then made me stop all orgasms 😨, and start wearing the underwear and etc., November 1st... on top of locking me back into a chastity cage full-time.  I know it's a weird fetish...  but omg. She knows me well, she's trans, and she knows how to make me really like her form of domination.  Chastity just MAKES me so damned subby, and girly, and slutty, and over the moon kinky.  Words don't convey the feels... the lustful horny cravings are unbearably intense at first. But it calms down, and you get kinda gentled.. I woke up yesterday and feeling in my heart she was honestly becoming my domme again.  She's long distance and has her own primary relationship (I love being poly) so I'm starting to look for munches and make local friends in the lifestyle. Oh I wanted to explain the pictures I'm uploading... *edit I'll upload photos later when I can allow my profile to go into 'validating' mode for a few days.* My KH sent me another package, and it steps up the feminization a bit. We kinda renew our arrangement, for another week, every Friday. She's like, "Do you want to stay locked up for another week Kitten?" And at this point I'm just plainly honest, "Yes please, I'd like that very much."Then she'll somethng like, "Good boy."And I kinda just melt 🥰. Anyways, it helps this little anxious commitaphobe from getting nervous.  = )

"I realize that like many Dommes, you are compelled to find fault with anyone requesting your attention. ... I know I am of value, considerable value in many ways, and I will continue my search." Guys, this is call GASLIGHTING. It is also called "pathologizing." I called him out on something simple and obvious - namely, the same old 'I read your profile' then asking a question that is clearly answered in said profile, showing no, he didn't actually read it, but lied about reading it to curry favor- and instead of admitting it, he tried to turn it around and turn it into some character flaw that I brought it up.  Something must be WRONG with *me* if I saw a problem, rather than there being an actual problem with something he did. Furthermore, apparently MANY Dommes have this inherent character problem, which of course lets him off the hook when he does this to them, as well. This tells me that he does it a lot, and always twists things around to get out of having to own his behavior and take responsibility for fixing it. Which is why I blocked him - because he's already told me in two short emails that he's lazy, will lie about being lazy, and then pull toxic manipulative crap to try to cover it up. Furthermore, he tried to pull a straw man fallacy argument - *I* never mentioned value. I mentioned HONESTY.  He brought up his value, as if I had cast doubt on that, rather than simply pointing out that he was asking something that was answered in the profile he claimed to have read. He tried to make the discussion about something else, so he could argue against THAT, instead of the actual discussion where he was already proven wrong. Another manipulative tactic. This is not submission. This is the screaming red flag of a weak, insecure man who got caught being lazy and dishonest. This is the signature mark of a fake sub.  A strong man would have considered what I said, recognized the mistake, admitted the mistake, and apologized for the mistake.  Real submission would have been to ask how he could make it up to me, and discuss how to improve himself so he didn't do anything like that in the future, even if I chose not to move forward with discussions. Because a truly submissive man who honestly wanted to find a truly Dominant Woman, rather than a woman who was too stupid to see his bullshit and too weak to call him to task if she noticed, THAT man would want to make himself worthy of, and less likely to screw up talking to us. If you can't admit when you are wrong, you can't be corrected, so you can't submit. It's as simple as that.

I had a very hot experience yesterday where a 69 year old very strong in shape older man gave me a very hard punishment spanking for having dirty thoughts about dressing and being like a girl for older men.  I had to wear just pink panties and call him Daddy.  He used his hand and a hairbrush.  He also had a wooden paddle and and bath brush which honestly scared me a little as my punishment continued. He thought we should stop shortly after I actually started crying.  He was very stern with me and he stopped periodically to lecture me. The first time he spanked me on my panties at a moderate level of pain. After he had me take them off he began to spank harder random slaps and then 20 on each cheek which hurt so much. When I stood to get my lecture he told me we were just getting started because I was a bad gurl with bad thoughts and I needed to be punished for it. My heart was racing and I was thinking omg! Each time I went back over his knee he spanked me harder.  I obediently did as i was told and spread my legs apart and arched my back so he could see my sphincter and balls as he would begin slapping me very hard. I cried out louder the harder he slapped. at one point when he was asking me what thoughts i thought about i touched myself he told me not to touch my clitty and pushed my hand back to my side. As I continued again to explain my fantasies I tried to touch myself again without thinking and he swatted my hand away and said get back over his knee.  He spanked me hard with a hairbrush and i started crying. My clitty was hard and my nipples were hard as i maintained my submissive position legs wide apart over his knee elbows on his bed. Thankfully he thought i had enough before the bath brush or paddle! Maybe next time. I posted a pic of my bruises today but it was bright red when he finished. He rubbed lotion on my bum cheeks and anus and between my legs after.   I'm such a bad gurl!

Laissez les bon temps rouler"       

Once I learned how to "shop for Fem" I became a ShopAholic! Could go every day to look for another new female garment. I even found myself buying 2 and 3 of the same just because the fabric and print turned me on so much.   Wearing these cute fem, girlie girl skirts and dresses and girdles and garter belts and opaque thigh high nylons and pantyhose just drives me crazy  horny! Being so turned on with the pastel colors and cute prints for myself makes me know how I would like to dress another CD Gurl for Sexilicious encounters.

Honesty Would I trust the word of an addict? No, of course not. I would trust an addict will be true to its addiction and use reason, including deception, to maintain its drug supply. But, one might say, we are not addicts here. We are into Domination and submission. We have fetishes. Not drug use. Well, here is the thing about addiction. My body does not care where the drug it wants comes from. Like if I were into sticking needles in my body to deliver any one of many legal or illegal drugs my body would not care about legal niceties. Any old drug source would work. A drug that works inside the body is almost always one the body creates naturally. The needle merely delivers higher concentration or more frequently than my body can provide. In other words, there are basically only two delivery systems. One from outside the body and one from inside. Well, how about stimulating the body to create its own drug with out the use of a needle. We do that all the time. Not infrequently referred to as satisfying emotional needs. Serotonin, adrenalin and oxytocin to name a few. Can one be addicted to the internally created drugs? Well, that would explain things like infatuation and love. In fact addiction is used by nature to help insure the survival of the species. Adults must attach, or become addicted, to offspring in order to insure the progeny survive and become, hopefully, useful members of society.  How about long distance runners? What kind of high do you suppose they are chasing? What happens when one is ‘addicted’ to sub space? All the hallmarks of addiction are present. Increasing stimulation, or altering tolerance, of the feeling of submission both in intensity and frequency is needed to achieve ever deeper and more desirable sub space. Withdrawal occurs when the stimulation is not available. What stimulates? How about humiliation? But, most prevalent, masturbation and fantasy are the ‘needle’ that causes the body to deliver the desired result. Now a rational person would know without any reminder from me that fantasy is not truth or reality. But, the subspace addict tends, in an increasing fashion, to live in the fantasy. Fantasy, because of the social sanctions and false ‘sex images’ delivered by ones environment (more about social influence below). An outside observer might well say the afflicted person is lying to itself. Maybe. The subspace addict must live to some degree, greater for some; less for others, in a real world. You know, wife, kids, boss, minister, parents, siblings and most painfully of all a world steeped in bias, prejudice, beliefs and simplistic thinking. How does one do that? Why the subspace addict becomes adept at presenting a, hopefully, believable facade. But, the inner self is crying out for its drug. So, the addict lives in internal conflict. That of between what it is and what it thinks it should be. That of trying to resolve reasonable needs of real world with the emotion of inner needs. Good luck. Actually, emotion always wins if the contest prize is about serenity. There is no serenity as long as the emotional needs are not met. Good luck. But, this much too long essay is titled ‘honesty.’ Why is all the above relative to honesty? Well, as a Dominant I search for a submissive, actually I search as an Owner for slave property. Anyway, the prospective property lie to me. They are so conflicted that they get tangled up in their minds about all the overwhelming reality their fantasy does not consider. They say one thing, but, are unable to deliver when reality bites.  I require a slave property show up in person for an initial ‘inspection’ before I get mired in explanations examples and details of life as My property. As a practical matter, if I engaged each and every ‘slave’ that contacted me in their fantasy or in their fear or in their inner conflict, I would have no time left in the day to live a life. The slave must conquer its fears of real life consequences and physically commit to an action: that is show up. Many say they will, but, fail to show up. Did they lie to me? Not in my book. They were honest to their ‘addict.’ They just lost their ongoing battle with their accommodation to the ‘real’ world. They will probably go forward in their life, steeped in conflict, with thoughts of what if and what could have been and self recriminations. In other words no serenity. Do I think less of them for not showing up? No. They are flapping around like a recently landed fish dying on the dock. I pity them. I wish I could do more to help them deal with their inner conflict.  I do try.

I find it tether offensive that too few people have actually read my profile. I mean I put forth the effort to not only share a bit of myself and what I am looking for but wrote it out rather clearly.  i mean if you can not respect me or at least pretend to give a fuck long enough to read it, why the hellshould I believe you would respect me. If I can’t trust you with the smallest of things like reading my profile, then what the hell makes you think I would trust you to care in a session, date, whatever? i put things in my profile to help YOU understand me and what I am looking for, as well as what I can offer. Furthermore I am not going to tell you read it. I shouldn’t need to. BUT, I do know if you have read it or not. How do I know? Maybe you should have read the thing in the first place. As I am on my soapbox at the moment, to all the people who send a one line, or worse one word greeting message, listen up. That may work at a bar or speed dating, button here a lot more is needed. I know you want to do the least amount of actual effort you can but you get out what you put in. If you can’t even try to make a nice and prober introduction, I can only assume you equally lazy with everything else and not worth my time.   just something to think about

A letter to God   Is it an image that lies Cuz i believe You don't  Yet looking around  And what scenes i see Baffle as drivers Create accidents and We all know accidents  Happen because well, Who is driving, after all  And surrender tastes  Bittersweet yet i have been Beat beyond what time Can tell any for many may Believe it's easy, this life  That now aches inside  My body and beyond mind For what i know to be true Is what a friend shared To simply live, love and do For You, for ultimately  We die and no one cares And most of humanity  Cannot dare heaven On Earth but from birth  We learn to yearn for what Loss brought when fate Raped destiny and man Lost and woman lost And no children were Bred because soon Enough we will be Better off dead...     zamarra  7/13/24  

We are coming to a time where we will have to make the difficult choice of following Christ or taking the mark of the beast. The world is coming to a point where they will be proclaiming peace. However when that happens we should know Christ is coming quickly after. There can truly not be peace in a world where death and sickness reside. Truly choosing Christ is not easy work. It demands repentance and skill development, to live for Christ and not for the world. To honor Christ's high standards because they are good for you and those around you. Jesus is very compassionate and empathetic creating a loving space for you to grow and evolve. He is very patient too not expecting change or perfection overnight but over periods of time. He can handle your frustrations, your anger, and any questions you hold. He is a friend and teacher. He understands your path. Let Christ's word sharpen you. "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25) Jesus is the way. As the world comes to its completion who will you choose? It's Jesus or the adversary. I pray you choose Jesus. Truly I tell you, "Eye has not seen, nor ear has heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

I am well aware of the nature of this site. A place where individuals indulge in their wildest desires and fetishes. However, I cannot help but ponder on the intricacies of my own desires. I do not find superficial compliments or shallow attempts at flattery to be of any interest to me. I am not impressed by those who claim to have read my profile, only to immediately express their desire to engage in carnal acts with me. It is possible that I have come to the wrong place to satisfy my true desires. What truly ignites my passions is the ability to engage in a meaningful conversation with someone. Discussions that range from the trivial to the serious, the playful to the flirtatious, and even the melancholy. The back and forth banter that flows effortlessly, covering a wide range of topics, from our personal relationships to the state of the world. And, of course, the subtle glances and touches that make us lose all coherent thought. Is such a connection still possible in this digital age? I often find myself questioning if I am living in a fantasy world. But, then again, the mere thought of it ignites a fire within me. Perhaps, someday, I will find it once more.

There's something wrong with my calico, Luna, and I'm very worried. She's not acting like herself. She had a jaw issue the other day and ever since she's been drooling, hiding in the bathtub (she's not a jumper and never did this before), felt warm, acts restless, among other symptoms. She's 7. While not the norm, I've had cats last until 20. This is my familiar. Vet said her teeth look good but to keep an eye on her as she isn't eating the dry food, only wet. We did get her rabies shot done and I'm really hoping she's not having a reaction to it. Will call the vet in the morning and take her in asap. She didn't even fight being picked up, which she hates because she always thinks it's bathtime when she's picked up and usually will fight it and mewl so pitifully but she didn't do that this time. I tried to reach out to Bakayashu for help but he of course is still ignoring me. Whatever. I just hope I don't lose my cat, him, and have to send my kiddo back to her father in two days. I'm already battling horrible depression and barely keeping myself focused through it.  I feel so damn abandoned. Alone. And Baka's silence now just feels cruel.  I just want everything to go back to being good again. 

1. In your first message don't say something like. " Hi how are you doing?" and that is your only message/words.  I won't even answer that. Be more upfront.  2. Please understand here is what I am NOT looking for    A. Not looking for someone that is married   B. Not looking for a weekend here and there   C. Not looking for someone that drinks, smokes and addicted        to drugs. (herb is ok)   D. Not looking to change your diapers   E. Not looking for attention seekers or someone high           maintance   F. Not looking for someone that is new and looking for     someone to train it (unless your ready to go full in)    G. I'm not a Pro and I'm not looking to play games.   H. Not looking for someone that isn't willing to better themselves   I. In general I'm not looking for a city person that is afraid to get dirty.    J. I'm not " needy " I'm more interested in finding a service slave/sub.   K. I'm not interested in seeing your ass pictures.  I'll probably add more to this list later. But HOPEFULLY you read this and don't bother writing if ...your not what I'm looking for. I try to make things simple and to the point.  p.s. I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A DOM.  I PROMISE YOU I WILL NEVER BE YOUR SUB OR SLAVE. I'm not an egotistic person and I do my share of what needs to be done around here. I  believe in harmony. 

Oh yes, I wonder          What she's doing tonight Oh-oh, I wonder what she's doing tonight..............................      Tommy Boyce 1968

Message to a new submissive/slave   So you love service. And you have discovered the great world of BDSM. Allow me to tell you a few things. I'm going to tell you what I tell every new person whether they are Christian or not. You have to find what works for you. If you are happy being a submissive then learn to be the best sub possible.    First find a Mentor. A good mentor is not a sexual partner. Mentorship is a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. However, true mentoring is more than just answering occasional questions or providing ad hoc help. It is about an ongoing relationship of learning, dialog, and challenge.* – Wikipedia I suggest a good mentor would be another submissive or slave. Not that Dominants/Masters can’t mentor a sub/slave, I do it all the time. But I just think someone who has been what you are going through would understand. I understand because I was trained from the bottom up. That means I started as a sub before earning my title of Master. Join groups. Fellowship with other submissives is a good thing. You do not want to isolate yourself. Hanging and talking will help you understand what you are and that there are others like you.   Ask questions. Questioning is a good thing and a good way to stay safe. A Dominant/Master should be willing to answer question. Ask other subs/slaves questions too   Also, just because someone claims to be a Master does not give them the right to start dominating you.  If a Master that you have not negotiated with, tells you that you are a sub or slave, therefore; you have to follow their orders, then it is a good idea to cut off communication with them.     Don’t settle for the first Master that comes along.  Think of this as a romantic relationship.  Do you marry the first man or woman that smiles at you?  Get to know more than one.  Until you are ready to make a commitment to a Dominant/Master/Mistress, you have the right to talk to several.   Also remember that your feelings matter.  In play a Dom/Master/Mistress might say that they do not, but this should only be in play.  In r/l your thoughts, emotions, desires, and even your health matter.   Ok let’s talk about power and power exchange. And remember the submissive/slave has all the power. Not the Dominant/Master/Mistress, we have no power except what you give us. The power exchange can be a beautiful thing when done right.     The foundation and corner stone of this lifestyle is consent. You have a right to consent. If someone does something to you that you do not consent to. Run away, don't walk.. run. Part of consent is setting limits. You have a right to set limits. Submissive will do this within the relationship. A slave should set her limits in negotiation. Yes slave you have that right. You should always negotiate with a Master. If a Master says you do not have that right, run away.  Remember these: SCC & RACK. The first SCC stands for safe, sane, and consensual. A Dominant/ Master/Mistress should keep you safe and play safe. The use of drugs or alcohol during play is not safe because they alter perception and dangerous mistakes can be made.    Although what we do looks insane to the outside world, it can be very sane, and the bottom line is consent. Every thing we do is with consent. You never lose the right to consent. Slaves, let me be very clear. You always have the right to walk away. If a Master tells you different, he is not a Master but an abuser.    Next is what I believe and that is RACK. The R stands for risk. There is risk in what we do. No matter whether it is BDSM, M/s, or D/s, there is risk. Which brings us to the A. the A stands for aware. A Dominant/Master should make you aware of the risk you are taking. C=consent or Consensual, again I can not stress this enough. It is the foundation and cornerstone of all we are. Last, the K is for kink. Yes we are a very kinky people and remember your kink may not be someone else’s kink. But that is OK.      Communication is essential.  Keep in mind, a potential Dom/Master/Mistress cannot read your mind.  If there is something that scares you or that you are uncomfortable with, tell them!  If they are unwilling to listen and talk to you about it, run away!  Keep in mind that when a person is a Dom/Master/Mistress they are also human.  They will make mistakes.      Respect should be earned I am not talking about common courtesy. Being polite always makes you look good. But respect is earned. And a Dominant/Master should never demand it. If a Dominant demands this you should run. We command respect by our actions. And a Dominant should be willing to earn that respect. One last thought on respect, you should respect yourself. Self respect is important. If you can’t respect your self how can you respect someone else?   Trust is also earned. If someone is not willing to earn your trust, or if they demand your trust, walk away. You need to trust to have a good relationship. But trust needs to be earned. A dominant/Master should be willing to earn your trust   This is a great way of life or it can be. But it can be dangerous. It is used by abusers to abuse. It is used by pretenders and predators also. We wrote this to help keep you safe.  .  

I dont' mind telling you, fetish world, kink people, that I am frustrated. I am frustrated by the surge of Omicron after we finally seemed to be turning a corner on the original COVID, then Delta, etc.  I am frustrated that this is slowing down my ability to pursue my interests, as I don't consdider it wise to go hang out in a bar right now or get coffee with an interesting individual.  It is making me take my time even more than usual in my seeking of the right person, and I think in some discussions I've had, it is slowing down others' will or desire to take those risks as well. And that's ok because I'd rather spend my time with someone who shares my risk appetite than someone throwing caution to the wind. I've also seen a really disturbing trend of interesting people just deleting their profiles here mid conversation. I strongly suspect that the ambient stress of pandemic life and the demands of what should be Normal Life are creating unsustainable levels of internal conflict for folks, who eventually just hit the panic button and run from places like this.  I don't have a cure, that's for sure. The scientists keep working on it though. There's a new pill based treatment getting Emergency Use Authorization as of late December 2021. The vaccines work, boosters are available, and the whole testing thing, while it needs work, is somewhat available.  So do me a favor folks. Especially those of you possibly interested in a Domme like me, because I want my social life back. Get your damned shot. Get your booster. Get your friends and family vaxxed.  There's really no reason to help the virus find victims, it's good enough at that on its own.  

Good evening you beautiful, wicked, sharp eyed deviants. I’m writing about this in case some of you have not yet heard about this disgusting behavior, because silence is where predators thrive. A major investigation has exposed what many are calling an “online rape academy” hidden forums, chat groups, and websites where men allegedly trade advice on how to drug, assault, film, and violate their own partners while they sleep or are unconscious. Let that sink in. Not strangers in alleys. Not monsters in masks. Husbands. Boyfriends. Men sharing beds, homes, and trust. These spaces reportedly included users swapping tactics, selling so called “sleeping liquids,” sharing videos of abuse, and even livestreaming assaults for paying viewers. It is predatory, calculated, and evil using internet anonymity. Let me be crystal clear for those in kink and BDSM spacesthis is not BDSM. This is not dominance. This is not edgy play. BDSM and kink are built on a foundation of consent, negotiation, trust, communication, boundaries, and mutual respect. Without consent, it is not kinkit is abuse. And with some of the disgusting, vile profiles I have personally come across on FetLife, I am sure some people with those same mindsets are here too. Please be careful. Vet people thoroughly. Trust actions over words. Listen to your instincts. No scene, no dynamic, no amount of charm is worth your safety. Women are taught to fear the dark street, the lone walk home, the stranger behind them. But too often the danger is already inside the house, smiling over dinner, saying “I love you,” then treating consent like it’s optional. This is why consent matters. This is why believing survivors matters. This is why calling out misogyny, coercion, and “jokes” about assault matters. Because that culture feeds these places. If this is happening to you, or has happened to you, please reach out immediately. Call local authorities. Contact a sexual assault or domestic violence hotline. Tell someone you trust. You do not have to carry this alone, and help is available. I’m sharing this so more eyes are open, more people stay aware, and fewer predators get to hide in shadows. Spread this. Talk about it. Protect your people. Check in on your friends. If someone tells you something felt wrong, listen. To every predator hiding behind a keyboard your secrecy is cracking.Stay dangerous to systems that protect monsters. Stay soft with survivors. Stay loud when silence helps abusers. Myst

Having spoken to you for a few weeks now, we understand each other. Our face to face meeting is at hand. I know what motivates your need to serve and please your man. In the vanilla world, you have confidence - or at least a veneer of confidence you maintain - but internally you feel yourself unsure, uncertain and that sometimes you just want to run away. I pick you up, dust you down with warm encouraging words, embracing you as you feel the strength of me and know I give you care and comfort. I know you. I know your thoughts, I know your experiences and I know what you need from me. I know your hard limits and the agreed safe signals.  We share a strong connection already. We have an emotional bond and an excitement between us as we plan to become a unity, planning our homelife and talking about our values of partnership and family together. I value your intelligence, your feminine elegance and your utter submission to me, only me. Your devotion, loyalty and eagerness to please whilst still maintaining your vanilla pride and confidence - I respect that and appreciate those qualities. You enjoy the guidance I give you, my mentoring, the boundaries that I give you and my affection.  Soon, you will arrive. We have discussed this many times. We know what to expect of each other, and yet, there is still that excitement. I hear footsteps approach my front door ... 

Hey everyone!  subMeghan here... As always, as required by my dom, I need to announce to you all that as I type this I am naked wearing only my dog collar... Just a quick journal entry.  My dom and I just finished an awesome puppygirl session and I have been informed that I was was a very good girl!  Yay!  Now my dom has decided to reward me and is using a vibrator on me right now.. He thinks it would be funny to watch me try and type as he is pleasuring my pusssy. However, he said I can't cum until I finish this journal.  He is watching me type this and laughing at me.  Good thing I have spell check!  Ha!  I am not allowed to speak to him, if I want to say something to him I must type it here. My dom says to tell you if I'm a horney slut.  Yes, I am a horney slut!  Please my I come? He says not yet.  Damn!  he has turned up vibrator. he knows what i like/  He says type louder.  OK, I AM SUBMEGHAN I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I AM A SUPER HORNEY SLUT!  PLEASE MAY I COME NOW, SIR!!!!!! nO?!?!  WTF!  pLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANT TO CUM SIR111 ok.  yes sir i'll say that, then can i cum?  my dom says show everyone that your a dumnb cunt and bark like a fuckng dog.  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!  STUPID SUBMEGAN IS DOG!!!! i am barking thank god, ge says i can come after i say goodbye.   bye

Be passionate about the Lord Jesus. Be fervent in spirit. Celebrate one another's victories and build up each other. Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. If one part suffers everyone suffers with it. If it is honored so will everyone be honored. This world is charming with all of its shiny fun things but we cannot love this world. This world is a dying world headed straight for destruction along with everything in it. Since Christ suffered we will suffer too not because he doesn't care but because being a member of Christ means this world and the ruler of it hates you just like it hated Him. Christ did not come to take us out of the world. The world belongs to us. The world doesn't belong to the ruler of it currently and for that reason those in Christ suffer. There is a limit on what the ruler of this world can do. He can kill the body but not the soul. What has come onto you is nothing new that others have not gone through. We all have history. We all have a story. This is why community is so important, we can help each other bear the burdens and trials placed on us. Two is better than one and when two or more are gathered in Christ's name he is with them. Christ will never leave you. There is nothing that can separate you from his love. Nothing. Also remember Christ is seated at the right hand of his Father. He is honored and those in Christ whether they live or die will share in the honor in the new world. Live for the approval of God and not for the approval of man. By doing this, you set yourself up for a happy life filled with rewards from God whether you receive them here or the next life is up to him. But know you are blessed in Christ. He will care for you. You will face trials and tribulations here but take heart your creator has overcome the world. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom. Wisdom is supreme and with all you receive of it gain understanding. If any of you lack wisdom ask God and he will give it to you. Wisdom is better than gold and in its right hand is long life and in its left hand are riches and honor. Change your life today. Read the gospels and letters. Read them and obey them. Don't bombard yourself. Take it slow. One change is better than no change. And one change often leads to more change. Open your heart to God. Allow Jesus to work in you. Sure it might feel messy. You might cry. You might feel torn down. But Jesus is the potter and all he's doing is making you into a new vessel to hold what he wants to pour into you. Yes healing takes time and honestly God/Jesus they don't work inside of time. They are eternal. Learning, growing, changing it's something we are always gonna do. There's so much to learn. There's so much to experience outside of this shitty world. Please go to Jesus. Please come inside. He's waiting for you ready to talk. Ready to take your hand and walk you through all the good, bad, and ugly. He doesn't run away when you're messy. He stays. He will always be with you. He's your Rock. Your Defender. Your protection. Your best friend. He cares and he wants a relationship with you. 

To clear up some answers before you reach out. I am a Bigger Person. I am around 290 in weight and have put a lot of energy, time, and effort into myself. I go to a nutritionist every other week, stick to my meds, and have no issue with my size. If you are not into me at 290 (about 30 pounds lighter than earlier this year), then I will not be into YOU when I am lighter than 290.  I am biologically female, Assigned Female At Birth, and identify as non-binary. I am no longer in a power dynamic. I am looking for people interested in a non-traditional service submissive with particular specialties. I have realized I am more of an alpha personality because if there is too much drama/ multiple alphas, I will back off and do my own thing. I am loyal as fuck but independent as well. I am looking for Sadists who enjoy physical, emotional, and psychological play while being aware of their mental and physical health. I am aware of my mental health; I expect you to be mindful of yours.  

Phew and thank god!   I nearly forked out just under £500 on the wrong specimen: 1. £295 for harness gear - custom made still lush 2. £50 for the application in 2 sizes 3. £95 rope bondage lesson but getting discount as the teacher is an old friend of mine   Will still spend for myself but if I ask a man questions it means I am investing time to understand how to give you what you want. You can't give me a second, ok, harness yourself.   I am good.   Still investing in the supplies just finding a worthy destination. Some people like to talk forever and not act on their impulse I was thinking lets act on the impulse not just talk about it.

Subtle Tease of The Day This one is simple. It requires no toys or even touching. You don't even need privacy. Every hour (or a feasible but consistent interval) complete this sentence: "I get aroused when I think of ... and I get wet when I imagine..." That's it. Take a moment or two to fantasize. You don't have to share your thoughts. They are welcome

I wrote this "Story"   My First Pain Pig I'm a Service Dom. My Dungeon is my playroom, to create pleasurable sensations. I was mid 20's, living the bachelor dream, whoring in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I landed an ok job with Hilton Hotels after graduation. The French Quarter bars stayed open 24/7. It was a place you partied every night. How I survived, 14 New Orleans Mardi Gras is beyond me, they were all real benders, lasting 3+ days. I lived 1/2 Block off Bourbon Street, it doesn't get better than that. It was at Beer Bust Sunday at The Parade Disco, it was 1982 or so. To drum up LOCAL business, The Parade Disco, had a "Tea Party" a beer bust all the beer you could drink from Sunday 5PM until the Kegs went dry. I'm having a "tea party" beer, and a girl walks up to me and asks why I'm dressed in black leather, am I into BDSm? I told her I'm a "leatherman" I like power-exchange, I like to lead, direct, command, suggest. She asked if I enjoyed spanking a girl, and I said yes, and I liked using my belt as well,. We danced, and drank a few beers, and kept chatting. So she grabs my hand and pulls me to the outside balcony, where folks, can actually hear each other talk since the music inside the bars is always loud.. She tells me her friend Freddie whose into BDSm has talked about me He says your known as a fun sadist. He told, me the rumor is, your a creative sadist.. I replied, something like. I'm a service top, I get off when we both get off. I do love mind fucking folks. Could you make me feel and endure pain? Not continuous relentless pain, but Intermittent shearing flashes of pain like strikes from a thin stick, the sting of the hand, or the thud of the belt? I asked, if she had done anything like this before? No, she just listened to all the hot stories her friend Freddie told her, of being a masochist. At some point, I said My safe word is FROG. Say the safe word and she repeated FROG. Good, I also use a safe gesture. I will squeeze your hand TIGHTLY and shake it, you squeeze my hand 2 times, in reply, This reply tells, me all is great, with you. If you fail to give back 2 quick squeezes I will end our playtime. The conversation went something like that, dam, when you get old, sometimes you just got to fill in details you forgot. I pointed from the Parade Disco's Balcony, Thats where I live across the street 800 feet away, the green shuttered walkup apartment.. She said, lets go to your place and play, make me feel real pain. Let me, tell a friend, I'm going to your apartment and I will call them to get picked up later. We walked hand in hand to my apartment. I opened the door to a typical French Quarter "Shot-Gun" apartment, like a boston row house, 25 feet wide and 60 feet long. The living room in front, a half wall jetty between the living room and the small kitchen. A Hallway the first door, the bathroom on the left, the door at the end of the hall, my bedroom and playroom. I had just finished building my "Playroom" I nick named "The Erection Set". (see my profile for photos) I think, my super-power, as a dom is creativity. I think, I give a good mind-fuck. My first rule as a dom was tie them up, to experience the reality of giving up control. Any act of bondage, is a reality of submission, physically felt and experienced. I had a pro-domme "friend" that I would occasionally drink with, at Jewel's Tavern, a Gay Leather Bar. Dex ,loved telling stories of here recent clients. I learned a lot from Mistress Dex! Maybe the most important thing she ever said, Hugo people don't come to Pro-Domme, looking for sex. If submissive's wanted sex they would go to a call girl. Submissives come to a domme to live out a fantasy. The key to a good scene is, living out a fantasy inside a submissives head. That BDSm lesson about Fantasies, was the best lesson I was ever given. The second best lesson Dex shared: Start a BDSm scene extra slow and build up a scene slowly to a climax. I had an established routine, in dom mode, have submissives undress, tie them to the st andrew cross or some other object, like in a chair. Next, introduce sensation play, running my hands everywhere on my tied up subs body. I would take sensation play to the next level, by adding a blindfold, not knowing where I might touch, pinch, pull next. Clothes Pins, are my absolute favorite toy. I have done scenes, with 100s of clothes pins, pinching everywhere on a submissives body. Ear Lobes, Lips, nipples, breasts, inner thighs, nose, the clit, cunt lips, any flap of skin. Clothes Pins are a great beginner activity. Clothes Pins are a great assessment tool as to how much pain a submissive can tolerate, as clothes pins build up pain slowly. I like starting, clothes pin play, with the breasts, many women have sensitive breasts and nipples, plus they can see the clothes pins, the object of pain tormenting them. This is about the time, I light up a cigar. Domination and smoking a cigar seem to go hand in hand for me. I do enjoy, Hot Ash Play. I know, I had 300 clothes pins on her body and she was feeling it but, not moaning or whimpering She wasn't even close to her limits. I like to flick off clothespins, using a cop or ruler or something similar object. I usually progress to Wax play because wax play looks painful, but isn't. Wax play is truly, a great erotic sensation play activity. Its about this point I asked, her to repeat what she came here to experience. I want pain sir. My massage table,doubled as my bondage table, I tied my sub face down, like in a position for a back massage. I would use, rope, saran wrap, tape, straps, to secure a submissive to the massage table. Hand Spankings, are probably the lightest form of corporal punishment. Then, the ruler, belt, fly swatter, rod, hair brush, next in intensity over a hand spanking, next would be the wooden spoon and paddle in pain or intensity, and in my opinion the cane is the most feared implement, used on the ass. . I got to a frat paddle. I think, my sub liked the belt the best, as she seemed to thrash about a bit. She stayed silent as she took the paddle usually a sign that there isn't a lot of eroticism going on. I want a sub moaning, mumbling, swearing, shaking, that tells me they are having a good time. I remember, it was this moment. I did the "CHECK-IN" hand squeeze. I got 2 quick firm hand squeezes back telling me she with me, "all ok". I asked her what she wanted now. What she wanted, was to be used like a hole. To FILL AND OVER FLOW her senses. To feel totally fucked and exhausted. I knew what she needed, she needed to be fisted, to have her cunt stretched out, rubbed raw. In the French Quarter leather community, I was known, as the Dom that enjoyed fisting and handballing. Back in the 1980's vaseline was the fisting lube of choice, crisco if you were handballing. Now, the cool part, when this happened is my playroom was already semi-functional, I had a sling. (see profile photos to see a sling) If your into fisting or handballing you know someone's intensely into fisting, they own a sling. Using a sling, your in a OB/GYN examination table. position, perfect access.