Hey everyone!  subMeghan here... As always, as required by my dom, I need to announce to you all that as I type this I am naked wearing only my dog collar... Just a quick journal entry.  My dom and I just finished an awesome puppygirl session and I have been informed that I was was a very good girl!  Yay!  Now my dom has decided to reward me and is using a vibrator on me right now.. He thinks it would be funny to watch me try and type as he is pleasuring my pusssy. However, he said I can't cum until I finish this journal.  He is watching me type this and laughing at me.  Good thing I have spell check!  Ha!  I am not allowed to speak to him, if I want to say something to him I must type it here. My dom says to tell you if I'm a horney slut.  Yes, I am a horney slut!  Please my I come? He says not yet.  Damn!  he has turned up vibrator. he knows what i like/  He says type louder.  OK, I AM SUBMEGHAN I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I AM A SUPER HORNEY SLUT!  PLEASE MAY I COME NOW, SIR!!!!!! nO?!?!  WTF!  pLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANT TO CUM SIR111 ok.  yes sir i'll say that, then can i cum?  my dom says show everyone that your a dumnb cunt and bark like a fuckng dog.  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!  STUPID SUBMEGAN IS DOG!!!! i am barking thank god, ge says i can come after i say goodbye.   bye

So many uneducated to kink, fantisizing boys out there. Apparently they hover like lost gohsts waiting for their versions of heaven. They have no clue how to actually meet a Domme. Time wasters, taking up space trying to fill in their cookie-cutter cartoon figure of the leather clad evil queen who will not make any trouble after they are satiated. Huummm, wow, thats a ProDomme, Not one of us everyday, living the lifestyle women.  A  fairly insightful post on the FetLife site. A suggested read fo all subs. https://fetlife.com/whytheydanced/posts/12285859 . Also look up 2KinkyWomen.com poscast. Episodes 12,42,44. The other podcasts are good for overall education. Good luck to you all. Read the profiles a couple of times. Actually live close enough to drive to Me. Otherwise, do not even bother wasting both of our time.  H  

I am pathetic.  After everything that happened I swore off this life. I deleted Fet, removed all my social media, removed all my chats EXCEPT FOR CS only because I was afraid in the next few years if I returned to this life it would take Forever to make a new CS account. Which I guess is good as I have 1 avenue I can share these thoughts. In summary, I'm pathetic. I didn't even last 3 weeks before I was deeply depressed.  Which doesn't matter as I don't have a Master anyways.  By the way Master Tim wherever you are now, dead or alive, you owe me. You owe me big time. I was newly married, a house wife, in my 20's and I went online (back then) on Yahoo chat. I had just found a book on Gor the first book in the series and I had questions and I didn't know what to do with these newly discovered feelings. I just wanted to know what this meant. I'm a black female who was married to a black man and I had shown him what I saw and wanted to engage it. My husband said what black woman would ever want that life. I was mortified. Is there something wrong with me? I just wanted to know. Then I found Master Tim. Master Tim you didn't have to show me the lifestyle. For 5 years.  You wanted to meet outside of chat day 1 of talking. I agreed and thought I'd was being smart by saying a public place .. Like the library. You pulled up an older white man with leather on and a motorcycle. You looked like you came from the wrong side of the tracks. I was young (in my 20's but truancy officers still stopped me), newly married, black female who was probably too naive for my own good. I watched you sit on your motorcycle. I knew it was you. You didn't look like you belonged here.. it was thrilling to watch you knowing you were just like in the books. You finally got off your bike and went inside. I wanted to see more, observe more. I went inside. I didn't see you and went deeper looking through the book aisles. You cornered me and said my chat handle. I nodded and you said you knew it was me something about being able to tell a submissive girl.  Side note: I have heard that over the years. A man would look at me and be like your submissive or a slave and I would be like how do you know. This always happened in a vanilla setting where I was not behaving in a submissive way to me but I was always called out.  I digress. You reached slowly to touch my breast and I didn't fight you or anything. I didn't know what to expect but I knew from the book and Yahoo chat this is what is to happen if He/You wanted. I got nervous and you stopped. What if we were spotted and this was my town what if a friend of my husband saw us... See I was naive and stupid. You told me to take you to my home. I nodded and did. JUST met this man and did. I was lucky you didn't hurt me. I brought you into my home and you whistled. I was proud of my house. You then ordered me to kneel and you stripped me. You put me in the correct position for kneeling and you touched my pussy and breasts. I was in heaven. I can't describe the feeling of being under that gaze that makes you forget how ugly and fat you are. That gaze that makes you feel womanly, sexy and that you'll do anything for Him. Master Tim gave me his address and told me to meet you at your house tomorrow if I was serious.  I was serious. I did everything you commanded. I was not perfect. I was tired. Annoying. Hell, you had to order me to fuck my husband (my first Master was so considerate). When you worked late, I went out with the "girls" at your commands so you wouldn't be bored. Tired up in the back of your party bus. The patrons thought it was a great gag. When you parked and they went to the clubs to party you couldn't leave the bus. We had fun. Whatever Master wanted. Needed. Then one day out of the blue you said your were sick/hurt and that you were moving to Georgia. And left. Just like that. I was released and you were gone. Over the phone. A year or so back I had begged you to meet me divorce my husband so I could be your slave full time. You said you couldn't give me the life I was used to. I'm not an idiot. I realized you lived in poverty let's be honest and I was upper middle class but that didn't matter to me. I just wanted this life but permanent. I thought I could say least prove to you that I was what you wanted but you were gone. I didn't even get a say. I was devastated. I was crying on the bed and my husband sat next to me. He said that our first 3 years of marriage/dating was hard but these last 5 years have been pure bliss. Now I'm home crying like I lost a family member. He gently asked if I had been cheating. I told him yes. That it was bdsm and he said he didn't realize how important it was to me. He would try. My husband found out I was cheating our whole marriage and said he'll be what I needed to be happy. I agreed. It lasted a mere thought. The man is just not built like that and I was trained in the strictest version of bdsm. He was doomed to fail.I was depressed sad and this life I can't stand anymore. Everything made sense with Master Tim. This... This life didn't.. I got divorced.  I've had Masters after Tim but ... I'm not worthy. I'm not submissive. I'm a slave. They are different to me. I get excited at options cuz I'm used to not having them and honestly I don't really want the choices. I'm a slave. I do as commanded. That feels right. I don't mind getting to make a recommendation but ... Yeah ...I'm too old now to keep looking for a Master. Youth is not on my side and my pretty looks is aging. It's harder to stay slim naturally and ... I really hate this life. I wish I never found that damn book. I wish I never had good Masters and then bad Masters but regardless Masters. I wish I could be normal and vanilla and that I don't long for the strict confined world I can no longer be a part of.  I wish there was a way for the pain to end.  It's so incredibly painful to be this way, I can't help it, and there is no counterpart. Its worse than being lonely. I'm a slave with no Master. I can't breathe, I can't think, I try desperately to never engage to not think of this life.  it wasn't supposed to be this way and like I said lated 3 weeks. I'm pathetic. 

My Name is Sara Sands I am a transgender M2F, I have always felt Femmine and submissive but not a Slave type, I have a great deal of experience in D/s and always craving to learn and expand my submission deeper, I have served Dom Men, Domme Females and Domme trans, and Dom/Domme couples I am very obedient and very clean, I know from my yrs of meeting that a Dominant and submissive connection starts with Mindset, Sexual acts are the product of unlocking that mindset, Verbal control of me to start is key to my submission, The only way I have found pleasure is in serving and pleasing my Dom/Domme Humiliation and Punishment, I understand is a tool to remind me of my place and purpose, Once I have given my gift of submission to a Dominant I do as I'm told without hesitation or resistance, I have limits that I know will be tested but do know they would be respected, I am openminded/kinky. This is my first Journal Entry, I will be adding more in time, Starting with some real-life meets both the good ones and bad ones, Sharing the bad meets I hope will maybe spare others the mistakes I've made in judgment Thank you, anyone, that has taken time to read this intro of myself , Sara

I Don’t Know Where My Poppa Is: A Little Girl’s Song, An Adult Woman’s Pain   "Food & Liquor" by Lupe Fiasco has always hit different for me, but tonight, "He Say She Say" felt like it was speaking straight to my soul. "You see what his problem is He don’t know where his poppa is…" It’s one of those songs where the lyrics carry everything. No extra words needed from me. Just sitting here feeling it deeply—for the child in the story, for the mom trying her best, and how it translates to me as an adult woman with a little girl inside who never went away. Navigating a world where my core family of origin is my biggest enemy and the men I’ve tried to vet and sift through—the ones I hoped would be the real poppa—never came. It left both the adult me and little me saying the same thing: "I don’t know where my poppa is." "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" As you read the lyrics and listen to the song, imagine that this is what us women go through—what I go through: "Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" This lyric is repeated twice—once from the mom's perspective, saying "When my momma try to provide and I tell her that ain't your job," and once from the son's perspective, saying "When I try to provide and he tells her that ain't your job." For me, the adult me and the little girl—Little Jess—are saying this simultaneously, in one body, clearly, over and over. It’s deep. Like the Lupe Fiasco song I wrote about previously, "The Coolest," the dangers and the stories are all there. And yet, I can’t help but wonder—if men really evaluated what this is like when they pretend to step up and then leave horrendously, do they truly understand what this does? Not just to the adult woman they let down, but to the little girl inside, who they treated as a kind of Pied Piper, leading her into heartbreak. Lupe, thank you for songs like this. "I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me She said to him, "I want you to be a father He's your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and he's starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you he's a starver" "Starting to use red markers on his work His teacher say they know he's much smarter but he's hurt Used to hand his homework in first Like he was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know she see us Now he's fighting in class Got a note last week that say he might not pass Ask me if his daddy was sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick him up" "You see what his problem is He don't know where his poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "He's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since he was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that He don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when I try to provide And he say, 'Mommy, that ain't your job'" To be a man, I try to make him understand That I'm his number one fan But it's like he born from the stands You know the world is out to get him So why don't you give him a chance?" I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me So he said to him, "I want you to be a father I'm your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and I'm starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you I'm a starver" "Starting to use red markers on my work My teacher say they know I'm much smarter but I'm hurt I used to hand my homework in first Like I was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know he see us Now I'm fighting in class Got a note last week that say I might not pass Kids ask me if my daddy is sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick me up" "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" "To be a man, she try to make me understand That she my number one fan But it's like you born from the stands You know the world is out to get me Why don't you give me a chance?" It's like, I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave" Have you ever connected deeply with a song like this—one that feels like it speaks to both your pain and your strength at the same time? If so, which one, and why?

Still looking for the sub husband.  He: is 30-50 yo have no kids of any age is not a bore is in good shape knows how to make money and at the same time does not flaunt his wealth is not sissy We still can discuss your age. Don't be shy and DM me.

The stick shift was prominent and imposing. He knew what to do and eased it into gear. She sat turned towards him. With her left hand she softly gripped the back of his neck. With her right hand she started to unbutton his shirt.   Her attitude and demeanor softened as she directed him to drive off into the night. Not given an address, turns we’re made on her instructions. Right here, left there at the next light.   After what seemed like an eternity he was instructed to pull up a ramp to a townhouse garage and as if by magic the garage door opened and closed behind them. Mindful of carbon monoxide, he shut off the motor. The two sat for a moment in the dark both the garage door light and the interior dome lights having timed out.   Her left hand now gripped the back of his neck firmly with authority and she made her demands.   She told him he had a choice. He had to decide immediately. Get out and leave. Walk away and forget tonight ever happened, or go around and open her door with the understanding that he was surrendering his will and body to her.   He stuttered, fumbled his words and choked out an acceptance of her demands. The door opened, he helped her to her feet and she produced a latch key. From a cabinet hung on the garage wall she retrieved a black leather hood. She ordered him to put it over his head. Once in place, he realized it eye holes were covered and a rubber mouth piece similar to a scuba diving hose was forced into his mouth. She laced it tightly and he heard  a lock click around his neck. Swiftly she slid off both his jacket and shirt together. Bare chested he felt the chill of the room as she pulled his wrists behind his back and heard the handcuffs ratchet closed. She put her hands around him from behind and fondled his breasts and pinched his nipples. A low grunt escaped through the mouth piece. He could breathe freely by nose and mouth through openings designed for that purpose.

Draw a symbol on your wrist or hand for me denoting you're mine. Could be a star or a heart. But make it small and cute.Then you can go about your day. And every time you notice it, you'll be reminded of what you really are. How badly you crave to be owned. How submissive your true nature is. How quickly you aim to please and obey.Make sure to keep track of how many times you looked at it. You'll be edging later to that amount.

 I shouldn’t have drank coffee late in the evening.  So now I am up writing out my thoughts. I will be paying for this tomorrow. -sigh- I’ve been seeking a Dom for the past four years without much success. Partly because I feel jaded with most of the men I have encountered. Also, I admit, sometimes I self-sabotage. I become immensely turned off by men who refuse to show themselves, as well as those who immediately refer to me as “Princess”, “babygirl”, and even “girl”. Or, when they are speaking with me OUTSIDE of an official dynamic and say “Good Girl”. I immediately become uninterested.  I am not fully inexperienced, though I’m also not fully experienced either. I have had one Dom. I learned a hell of a lot from him. Good and bad. Especially, how I should be treated. I get that this is a kink site with a LARGE spectrum of diversity when it comes to kinks. However still, I would prefer to be approached respectfully. I would like to be courted. Is this even possible within the realm of kink? Goodness I hope so.  I don’t have much on my page regarding to what I am seeking, well, because I’d like to keep my options open and not narrow down my dating pool even more than it already is. Plus, most of what I am seeking is repeated on multiple profiles, so it all sounds regurgitated after a while.  I would love to find a man who is secure with himself. I am somehow attracting men who aren’t in some ect or another. I won’t go into detail here. But, I’ve noticed. Right now, in my life, I’m focused on working, saving money for visits with my children, and seeking a partner. So to me, while it is life, I self-sabotage due to thinking others may not find that appealing. Which it may not be. However, I would prefer a family oriented kinky partner. I believe someone is out there for me.

I am a Cultured creative Sapiosexual Goddess who thrives on stimulating conversation, traveling, hiking, swimming, trail running, working out, kayaking, boating, taking walks on the beach, viewing art, attending comedy events, and soaking up adventurous moments. I live a very active lifestyle without social media, news, alcohol, and mundane things that are designed to shift our focus. I'm the extraordinary experience that your body, mind, soul, and spirit crave! You've found what you've been missing! Are you ready for a different experience?!~~. Or will you cling to what you've been used to and wonder why you keep getting the same results? That's called Insanity! Don't be afraid to try something different. You Will Like It. ~~~Energy is Everything~~~_Be My SubLet's explore Boundaries Of Pleasure~Your credentials, accolades, and worldly materials mean absolutely nothing to me. What does your Energy say? If the vibe is right and you are open to sexually experiencing new things without hangups, we 'might' can embark upon some wonderful adventures together and create memories that last a lifetime. It's sure to be a pleasureful adventure for the both of us.

Just a note — I'm probably not going to gel very well with other sub trans girls, but I'm happy to share pics and chat about our desires, so please don't hesitate to contact me if you like what you see in my profile.   Also, again a note for trans Dommes — I like Mommy Dommes who know that D/s goes both ways. I will happily fluff your ego and make you feel great about yourself if you can treat me like a baby girl who needs pampering, attention and love just in the same way. I will be as obedient to you as I can without doing anything immoral or illegal, of course, and I'll flatter, obey, pump up your ego, and be sweet and submissive to you just like a subbie baby girl or DMlg sub should be.   Same applies if you're an exceptionally good Daddy or Mommy cis Dom/me. I see so many selfish and egotistical profiles from most Dommes which are a huge turn off — the lecturing about throwing away your ego as a sub will work out long-term when you're ready to throw away your female or male ego as a Dom/me, and realize that you're serving your subs needs like they serve yours. They're your priority too, and you need to make them feel good about themselves serving you if you want them there forever. A young and horny boy or girl will serve you to get their needs for some sexual satisfaction fulfilled, but they'll be tired of your galaxy-sized ego saying that you're always right and they're always wrong just because of your relationship dynamics.A similar idea for subs: Please don't ever neglect the need for aftercare for Dom/mes too. They need it as much as you, and they're probably less confident, powerful and in control than you think. It's still a roleplay in a sense, and they have the same doubts as you about their performance. Before or after you get confirmation from them that you were a good boy/girl, be sure to puff up and stroke their egos too and tell them how you loved serving them, that they're a great Daddy/Mommy, etc. Please use your imagination. If your owner isn't good at communicating this back, be sure to ask them for an ego boost and validation as well. Don't stay with them if they become selfish and demanding, though, this is not a one-way street. You have valid needs and you need to ask for them to be fulfilled, too.

The Dancing Warrior:   In the temple's silent embrace he stands, A martial artist, guided by ancient strands. His spirit whispers in the fragrant breeze, A tale of dedication, shaped by kung-fu keys. In dawn's quiet dance, his journey begins, Mind, body, and soul, entwined, he spins. Through the flowing forms, a symphony unfolds, A canvas of discipline, as history beholds. With each stance, a story etched in the air, The echoes of wisdom, the stillness will share. His mind, a tranquil lake reflecting the moon, Absorbs the teachings, a harmonious tune. Body sculpted by the dance of swift kicks, Precision and power, a blend that clicks. Muscles, like poetry, weave tales of might, A warrior's silhouette, embracing the night. Soul, the furnace where courage is refined, Embracing shadows, where fears are confined. In the stillness, he finds his inner voice, A choice made daily, to rejoice. Through trials and triumphs, his spirit ascends, A journey of mastery that never bends. Kung-fu, the language his essence speaks, A tapestry of strength, resilience, and peaks. In the dojo's sanctuary, he bows with grace, A warrior-poet in this sacred space. For in the art of kung-fu, he finds his rhyme, A lifelong dedication, transcending space and time.

one word: DEVISTATED! my recent Echocardiogram came back worse than expected I went down the slope as opposed to climbing... I'm wrecked and not happy about it, understandably... It's almost back to where it was when the condition was caught and I was hospitalized... so NOT GOOD !!! it feels like all the work I have done has been for nothing and I feel defeated... having a terminal condition sucks... Some good news though, looks like my record shop will be a reality sooner than later, I got all my LLC etc filed and done so, look at me trying this adulting thing! lol This I am excited about!

A note from me, K.  A bit of a look into our recent goings on. This was a big moment for me and I want to savor it. I had to break it up because it is quite a long entry.    M has been behaving really well lately! Behavior modification and control is my primary interest and all the implements of our lifestyle are just ways of helping me achieve that control. We have had the conversation regarding my desire for cuckolding before, many times. I bring it up quite a bit, I just can't get it out of my head. I need this for me. Back in 2019 M accompanied me on a few dates with potential bulls, but I don't think he ever thought it would seriously happen. This is very different from when I saw submissive clients professionally. I never ever had sex, I never ever gave head, I never even gave hand jobs. If my clients were allowed an orgasm, they would bring themselves off. M knew that when I finally allowed him sexual contact that we had taken a serious step. A premature ejaculator, he was and is a horrible lay and has never got better. I honestly didn’t expect him to. I got off on my control of him and absolute obedience, not his penis. And now while we have probably only had PIV sex 8 or 10 times in the last 3 years, I desire it more than ever, just not from my husband.  The pandemic drove us all inside and away from people we didn't know. The dates with potential bulls ended and I think M figured that was it. But, my desire for a bull has continued steadily building this entire time and has come to a tipping point. I decided to re-engage the subject in one very direct conversation with M last weekend. I have also decided to keep him on a more frequent chastity release schedule as positive reinforcement while we move forward in adjusting to our dynamic and while finding a bull for me again, in earnest. This conversation was for me to lay out my intentions in full.  We had scheduled this conversation for last Saturday a week before so that we would both be ready. We spent the morning at a farmers market searching for fresh produce that M would turn into a delicious dinner while I spent the rest of the day getting a massage and reading in our backyard garden. After dinner I suggested we move to the living room where I sat in the chair that I have for years been using for spankings and directed my husband to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of me. His lack of pants showed me his diaper was soaked and I put his pacifier in so he wouldn't be tempted to speak.  While he was sitting in front of me I explained to him first, that I loved him, that he had done nothing wrong, but that we would be renewing our search for a bull. His immediate reaction was to put his hand to his mouth in an effort to remove the pacifier so he could speak. I leaned forward, caught his hand and told him, “let me finish.” I explained to him that I would also be allowing him a more frequent release schedule from chastity, which drew out a smile behind his pacifier gag. I explained that his new permissions came with new expectations and that it was directly related to, as I put it, "returning to vigorously searching for a bull." His smile faded instantly which breaks my heart, but I have made my decision and know it will be best for us both; our lifestyle dynamic has many places left to go, but this is step one in getting there. I explained gently but firmly that he needed to get used to the idea of there being other men in our lives. I told him that I was completely finished treating him with kid gloves around cuckolding, that this was something I needed that he couldn't provide and that he knew that.  "M...we have come so far. I have emasculated you to a point you know that I could never take you seriously as a sexual partner. You know this and you know I need someone else, don't you?" He again lifts his arm to remove his pacifier gag so that he can speak. "Nope. Just nod your head, baby. Nod your head that you know I need this." 

Getting back on track - had a terrible cough for a few days. Having ginger, honey and lemons and rest lots of rest. During my delerium (due to a possible flu) during some unrestful nights I had thoose dreams again. Me with two sain, sound and working professional men. The dream starts off pretty normal, a meet up in a coffee shop to understand what all parties want and don't want. Me over keen. I must admit my dream fast forwards a little bit which means in reality there will be some challenges, but somehow my mind it forwards to me in bed with two sound men and this clarifys, I would want them to enjoy being with me but if they felt flexible with each other I would clearly be happy to know the relationship as no limits. I honestly recall my dream there were a few positions and a few rotations of who does what where but I recall being very happy. Then I woke up and had to make some more ginger and lemon tea but at least I know my immune system is kicking in :)

I've not made a Journal Entry in a Long Time.  I would be fine with a LTR or even Live In or Married if circumstances led to that.  Though since like 2020 or longer have been dealing with Diverticulosis along with Mobile Cecum resulting in a lot of Abdominal Pain to say the least.  I could not figure out what was wrong thinking was just Lazy and Crazy. Seems like everything has been on a downward spiral or nothing works out quite right.  RL stuff beyond my control has contributed to making this more difficult heh. Was not until I read people writing stuff about Kristalose medication that started to realize was quite sane.  They would talk about the exact issues was having or details a strainger would not be able to know. Really its just an additive in every country except the USA.  Its like a Lactose that you just are unable to digest which can give a movement in 24 to 48 hours. I'm an Organic Vegetarian so unless its Tube Steak for something haha.  Pretty dedicated to keeping up my diet and exercise.  Really would be nice to get married have kids but doubt that will happen heh.  Really avoid piercing as anemic so bleeding is not good for that condition haha.  Site used to be really active now its mostly stagnated. Funny my string code is basically Restless.  I remember reading the CT Scan saying how organs moved since the last one not that long ago heh. That freaked me out a bit.  Supposedly as many as 10 to 20 percent of population has Mobile Cecum. Usually you have part of intestine removed like Brock if something gets infected.  I'm like a garden hose that is wound up or knotted or leaking fluid from what I can gather.  Most seem to die or collapse needing surgery to avoid that fate. Seems like it will eventaully need an operation unless it fixes itself by some miracle. The cramps or abdominal pain was really crippling like another level of pain beyond Thunderdome.  I could not even believe it as would feel fine then all of a sudden.  Its like having the diet was not enough to avoid this issue.  Even if do everything right in life can still fail utterly and totally. Being owned by Some Rich Femdom is often a Fantasy not Reality. Though that nearly happend for me over two decades ago. I doubt it would have been a great match. As really need somebody who fits what are ideal at or into. Certain things are prety neutral or do not make or break a deal.  Height is not a real issue as it can be good to be taller or shorter.  Women should weigh less than me in general not this BBW which we all know to be BS hehe.  Having interests where can talk or communicate about other aspaspects is always a positive too.

I've been back and forth, since before Thanksgiving , with the contract I have on a cabin In WV. Unfortunately the agent was a flake. Over the years , I've bought and sold homes. This agent was a hot mess. Finally had to get the broker involved, and replace the her.   The present one is on the ball. D and I drove to the cabin and he checked it top to bottom. There were concerns from the home inspection, and he calmed my mind. He said the place had great bones, the windows were all in good shape, the hot water heater was two years old , gas furnace will out live me, metal roof is fairly new... There is a cottage on the property, off the back set back from the cabin.  Its about eight hundred sq. feet , plus a screened in front porch! Perfect for my father, and he can't fall off. It has a kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom and full bath. It too has a new metal roof.   Added an addendum  for a few things, we'll see if they accept or counter. Saying a little prayer and crossing my fingers.   M.

Oh this is a good one. Pay attention.  Wake up Drink 1 litre of water (2 glasses) Get out and walk at a steady pace, low intensity for 35-40 minutes Stretch for 10-15 minutes Drink a glass of water, then Eat breakfast, which is most protein. NO CARBS @ Breakfast. Examples: a. 3 egg, ham & cheese omelette  b. Cottage Cheese and 4 slices bacon c. Breakfast sausage and 3 eggs Light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Breakfast. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. About an hour later, Workout if you're going to. Best to do weights & lifting in the morning. Adding resistance 😈 training, increases your lean muscle mass, which in turn burns more body fat. 3-4 hours later, drink a glass of water, then have Lunch. Equal thirds of Protein, Carbs and Fat. Try to get 1 serving/cup of veggies in there. Examples: a. Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and broccoli b. Sandwich with cold cuts, chicken breast, roast beef, or whatever. Get extra tomatoes & lettuce. c. Roasted 1/2 or 1/4 chicken, steamed veggies and a sweet potato, fries, mashed potatoes, rice, hummus & pita, or a side of pasta salad. d. 2 item combo Chinese food: chicken, pork, beef with noodles or rice e. A burrito or wrap: go for the gold and get guacamole, as long as there's a carb, a protein and some sour cream (fat) in there. f. Pizza: the cheese is the fat, the crust is the carb. Now do it up with the protein and veggies. If you're going to have something naughty, do it towards the end of Lunch: a few pieces of chocolate, cake, cookies, soda, donut, you get the idea. Another light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Lunch. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. Mid afternoon snack, IF, and only IF you feel like you need something before dinner. This should be no more than 2 - 3 hours after Lunch. Have a light smoothie vs a "sugary juice." The goal here is: a base of coconut water or milk, AND mixed fruit, AND some deep green leafy vegetables like Kale, Spinach, Celery tops, etc. If you're able to add peanut butter and/or Greek Yogurt to it for the protein, even better! Drink a glass of water about an hour after the smoothie to flush it all through and out of your system. Get on your feet, stay active, do some sort of physical activity after the smoothie for at least 5 - 10 minutes. Dinner, anywhere from 3-5 hours after Lunch. Drink a glass of water before Dinner. The idea here is little to no carbs. Load up on veggies, and have some form of lean and mean protein. Think free range, wild caught, grass fed, etc. A few really good Examples: a. Roasted/Grilled/Pan Seared chicken, fish, beef for pork, AND 2 servings of steamed or baked veggies, or a salad. b. A huge salad, AND add the roasted/grilled protein above to it. c. You could have a Denver Omelette here with lots of veggies if you wanted, AND a nice big salad. d. Salmon/Tuna/Fish with veggies, AND a big salad. Try to be active, get out for an evening walk or bicycle ride, do some sort of low intensity physical activity after dinner for at least 30 minutes. Don't just sit down or plop on the couch. Do something. One big note, try to have and finish dinner at least 4-5 hours before bed. Go to Bed near hungry. After dinner, drink a glass of water every hour for a couple hours if you can. But stop a couple hours before bed, otherwise you'll be waking up to pee all night. Sleeping on an empty (or as close to near empty) stomach is important. This fasted state allows your body to recover, repair damaged cells and get rid of the bad ones. You'll notice better Growth Hormone production while sleeping in this manner, and more sex hormone release (estrogen for women, testosterone for men). Finally, believe it or not, part of the process of vaporizing body fat happens in your sleep, IF you sleep in a fasted state. For use as energy (the process of recovery and repair), your body will convert stored fat into air, that is then expelled out your lungs as you sleep throughout the night. Thanks for your time, and I hope you learned something. 

Unless you are local to London or travel to London (at your own expense) please do not contact me. I do not have time to play fantasy with you through my laptop. I am NOT going to over use adjectives to describe a setting that does not exist. We can NOT eat a meal virtually throuh this message service. We can NOT enjoy your grasp of my breasts through this message service. We can NOT hear me squeel due to satisfaction on this messaging service. We can NOT touch our skin on this message service. We can NOT enjoy a glass of wine on this messaging service. I can NOT use my silk on you on this messaing service. I can NOT call you late on Friday night demanding you make a trip to my place for sexual attention on this messaging service. So politely unless you can ring my door bell, turn up with some flowers and lubricant and a decent bottle of red wine, politely will you F-off and go submit your horny essay to some shit literature competition that equally does NOT exist. Thank you

+MULTIMEDIA What did you think was the worst movie of all time? - OH, I DON'T KNOW...THOSE GODDAMNED BLINDLY-PATRIOTIC/PATHETICALLY-THEOCRATIC MOVIES ARE NAUSEATINGLY-HORRENDOUS. 😑😑😑😑😑 If you could be any celebrity, who would you be and why?  - DUNNO...WINONA RYDER? 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 JULIETTE LEWIS? 🖤 DEPECHE MODE? 🖤💜🖤💜 Ever buy a bootlegged VHS or DVD? If so, of what? - NOT THAT I KNOW OF. Would you rather watch movies at home or in the theater? - HOME. I DON'T DO NASTYASS, GERMYASS, DISGUSTINGASS, ANNOYINGASS MOVIE THEATRES. 😑😑😑😑😑 What kind of food do you buy at the theater? - N/A. What artist do you love to sing along with? - MARILYN MANSON, TRENT REZNOR, ROB ZOMBIE, PETER STEELE, JAMES HETFIELD, DEPECHE MODE, DURAN DURAN, DOORS, ALICE IN CHAINS... 🤘😎🤘 What artist do you think has no right to be as popular as they are? - THAT OVERRATED BLOVIATING WINDBAG KANYE WEST. 😑😑😑😑😑 What’s a song that makes you cry?  😞😥😢💔 "I Love You Forever And Ever And Ever, Ma....." 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - https://youtu.be/45ft7onAhR4 What movie makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts? - I DON'T KNOW. I ACTUALLY *USED* TO LAUGH. I EVEN USED TO LAUGH *HARD* SOMETIMES, BUT THAT WAS YEARS AGO. I JUST DO NOT LAUGH ANYMORE LIKE I USED TO. I REALLY DON'T. JUST KNOWING THAT I'M CURSED TO BEING ON THE SAME FUCKING PLANET WITH MILLIONS OF UNFORGIVABLY-STUPID TRUMP SUPPORTERS HAS CERTAINLY KILLED MY HAPPYHEARTEDNESS. 😑😑😑😑😑 Are there any dance/action/fighting scenes from a movie you can perform? - HM...NO. Is there any movie you can quote word for word? - HA...I USED TO...MAYBE "BEETLEJUICE"..."STAR WARS"... +LOVE AND DATING. What do you think of kissing on the first date? - IT DEPENDS. MAYBE IF I ALREADY KNEW HER & HAVE ALWAYS LIKED HER THEN IT'D BE OKAY. EVEN HAVING SEX, HEH. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? - YEAH. UNREQUITED LUST TOO. Have you ever dreamt about your crush/significant other? - YUUUUUUUP. Was it a good dream, or a nightmare? - SEXCELLENCE! 🤩😍🥰🤩😍🥰🤩😍🥰 I HAD A *LOT* OF CRAZY SEXUAL DREAMS ABOUT CASSANDRA; A HOT SEXY OLDER BOSS OF MINE. GODDAMMIT, IF I EVER SEE HER AGAIN, I HOPE WE FUUUUUUUCK MAYBE THOUSANDS OF TIMES THIS TIME. GODDAMMIT, I *WILL* FUCK THE UNHOLY HELL OUTTA HER A LOT! 😝🤪😜😛😋🤩😍 Do the words “I Love You” scare you? - No. I DO NOT BLINDLY-LOVE PEOPLE, I DO NOT BLINDLY-BELIEVE IN LOVE EITHER. Have you ever wanted to ask someone out but didn’t? Why? - OH, YEAH...WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN GODDAMNED FUCKING *SHY*. BUT FOR A WHILE I ACTUALLY MADE MYSELF TO START ASKING GIRLS OUT, BUT SOMETHING ABOUT THAT JUST REALLY DOES *NOT* FEEL GENUINE TO ME. SO I JUST REVERTED BACK TO MY OWN NATURE. MY OWN FACTORY DEFAULT PROGRAMMING. HA. Have you ever been on a blind date? - UUUUUGH. 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 YES. SHE WAS *INSUFFERABLY-HORRID*. 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 I COULD *NOT* WAIT TO DROP HER HORRIBLE LITTLE AYASS BACK OFF TO HER HOME...WHICH I SUMMARILY DID POSTE HASTE AFTER THE CONCERT. UUUUUGH. 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 "FORGET about Me even taking you out to Dinner, Movie, & Whatever Else Later....." *sigh* 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑 #UGH! (I've actually written in-detail before about that particular Blind Date before. I won't here right now, though. Maybe I'll look for it & CopyPaste it here in my Blog again later) Does Interracial Sex interest you? -Haha...ummmmm...😛😜🤪😝😆 #iWantHotSexyChocolateDammit! 🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫!!!!!!!😍😋 Do you think Freckles are sexy? -Ohhhhh, Damn Sexy. Yeah.🤩😍🥰 I've seen some Superhot Sexy Women before with LLOTS Of Freckles, yup. #BOINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!! 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 #FRECKLEPALOOZA. #FRECKLELICIOUS. +THE PAST. What was your favorite childhood toy? - KITES! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 BABY BAT! 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇 Did you play with kids in your neighborhood when you were little? - YEAH. I MISS MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND, SALLY. I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH HER AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, HA...SHE LOOKS GREAT TO THIS DAY. SHE'S ONLY A YEAR OLDER. DAMN SEXY, PASSIONATE, HYPER, & FIT. 🥰 I'VE ACTUALLY FANTASIZED HAVING HOT GORGEOUS SINFUL SEX WITH HER A FEW TIMES, HA...MAYBE ONE DAY...🤩😍🥰 How many times have you moved? - 5. What were your “awkward years”? - 13 ON UP. Did you have a security blanket/stuffed animal you always slept with? - HA. YUP. GAMBI! HE'S A PLUSHIE STUFFED CLOWN SINCE I WAS 1. I THOUGHT HE LOOKED A BIT LIKE GUMBY SO I NAMED HIM GAMBI, HEH...STILL HAVE HIM! ❤💙❤💙❤💙❤ What was your favorite childhood TV show? - STAR TREK. 🖖😎 Movie? - 'CAT PEOPLE'. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 'THE HUNGER'. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 'THE CROW'. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 'BEETLEJUICE'. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 'THE MATRIX' MOVIES. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Did you have lots of new toys or hand-me-downs? - HM...HALF & HALF? I DIDN'T MIND USED TOYS. I EVEN PERSONALLY BOUGHT ME LOTS OF THEM TOO, HA. Is there anything you would change about your childhood if you could? - I G

We found this online and now can't find it to reference. We are grateful to the author What is a Daddy Dom \ little girl relationship: Daddy Dom/little girl does not refer to the ages, real or pretend, of the participants. Nor does it imply closet desires. We do not engage in age play specifically (beyond the occasional school girl fantasy) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. A Daddy Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides. So, what are these qualities? What is a Daddy Dom? His love for his little girl goes without saying. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him. This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dom needs to feel pride in his little girl. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift she has given him and takes great pains to increase it's value. It is extremely important to him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with him. He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the little girl to really trust, she must know he means what he says. If his little girl is going to be the best she can possibly be he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises. If he does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If his submissive finds that she can manipulate him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He understands that it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect. A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissive...acceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn't matter. To him she is beautiful. Daddy Dom and sadistic Dom are by no means mutually exclusive. Many Daddy Doms embrace their sadism while understanding and feeding their submissive's masochism. This balance is necessary to many little girls because it allows all parts of her to be nourished, leading to an incredibly fulfilling relationship. I think most Dominants have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of male authority figure in the submissive's life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/little girl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that it's participants crave. There is something infinitely magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it is something only a little girl can understand.

after i wrote my 4 page note on reddit on why for me a lady who has both the dark goddess and the slave and the little girl in one in my observation over the decades and my personal life why while some might last at most a few years here and there i have never seen a successful long term healthy and honest pairing of the daddy dom and little girl..and what the crux is and why even the most highly intelligent and successful people just seem to not crack the code for longevity...and why while most people who are in the scene aren't vanilla aren't regular..and anyone attracted to this is what i code as a thoroghbred horse..what is a bred racing horse? stronger fitter quicker cleaner shinier and a work of art compared to the domestic or regular horse......it still don't work..and the orienting going on that something is missing..it's the wild horse..the wild WOLF that is the next stage of ascension...and that the traditional layout of this isn't working because the traiditonal layout of this is broken...too much power for any decent human to try to wield without misuse, and too much of an internal death and sacrifice without the safety of being held, secure, stable, protected, and hands on intetionally in and out kept....at one point one or both break....and that in the wild the individual the honed in two streams on the same path with no false pretenses absolute soverignty meeting soverngyt coming together and going apart fierce and passionate when together and like soliders on the battlefield navigating life with self first is the next evolution of this..and that the power exchange really is some sort of toxic addictive drug that kills both parties..... i asked this question. n a response to the call i put out to the universe while out and about god/the universe sent me this song while i was out and about and unable to really choose what i listen to. i'm an audio visual media mystic...music primarly. i get my messages, healing, transmissions, downloads, awareness, lessons, main way of orienting this life through sound. secondly through media...and so things will naturally guide me when i'm home and able to control it..but i have a mystical connection to music when out of the home in places where music plays that i can't control what station or song is played next as well. and the song that came up while i was out and about mystically ansewered it for me.   hang on collective, we're in for an amazing but probably bump and deadening past. but there are gems in the mental and emotional death if we choose to hang on.   as usual, they give me new/tweaked songs lyrics.  i will often hear things that the original composers didn't put that fit the situation i'm thinking of, going through, asking about. i i never heard this song before. the original foundation of the chorus in the song is to ask it as a question...but in response to my spell and the question i posed to the universe that the lyrics and song responded to... i guess god is like, gurl there is no question:   mmm mmm mmm in agreement.   "families really bow their heads to pray   daddies really never go away.   oh grandpaaaaaaaaaa. tell me bout the good ol days."   Grandpa (Tell Me 'Bout The Good Old Days) Song by The Judds Overview Videos Lyrics Artists Other recordings Listen Composers Lyrics Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days Sometimes it feels like this world's gone crazy Grandpa, take me back to yesterday When the line between right and wrong Didn't seem so hazy Did lovers really fall in love to stay And stand beside each other, come what may? Was a promise really something people kept Not just something they would say Did families really bow their heads to pray? Did daddies really never go away? Whoa, whoa, grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days Grandpa, everything is changing fast We call it progress, but I just don't know And grandpa, let's wander back into the past Then paint me the picture of long ago Did lovers really fall in love to stay And stand beside each other, come what may? Was a promise really something people kept Not just something they would say and then forget Did families really bow their heads to pray? Did daddies really never go away? Whoa, whoa, grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days Whoa, whoa, grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days Mm Mm Did families really bow their heads to pray? Did daddies really never go away?   which i mean god can be grandpa in this instance if it, i believe in the tetragrammaton gender neutral energy version, and if that's what it wants to be in this transmission/spell well so be it!

Fantasy wish fulfillment for discerning kinky ladies.Introducing some of my BDSM/LARP roleplay characters! These are from the gripping, sexy, horny, fetish narratives I spin, (e.g., whisper in your ear) that you may actually find arousing and be more than willing to feature in!   Sir Max Master "Master of the Darkly Amusing, Holistic Therapy Centre for errant, idle or bored Gothic (and other deserving, kinky, sub, deviant, vampire or otherwise naughty..) girls & young ladies"... (You will be straightened out!) DdYbadcock ...self explanatory really! You will know if you want him! UncleFcker ...similar to the one above but you are the naughty, compliant or somewhat dim, fuckable niece, this time! Yes Sir! No Sir! ...a discipline officer who could be in a military or 'bad-girls' prison scenario! Pretty much anything could happen!  Colonel Kunst This is a .mil detention and interrogation scene, you will be given a 'secret' to keep, then abused, interrogated, searched, tortured and generally given a rotten time etc. You have to hold out and not give the secret away for at least 24 hours. No safe word, but if you spill the beans you lose and its all over for you! Prof Humbert the Art Tutor This is a character I developed for art students, you will have to keep working into it!... Dark Lord ..your guru, spiritual guide and mentor for, 'nude mindfulness meditation,' sessions! This will help you develop compassion, help stress reduction, promote inner calmness, even possibly be jizzed on! ..the science behind it is irrefutably convincing!  Pervy School Teacher Max Max will take you for your reading out loud, religious and other remedial classes! Discipline could be of the traditional kind but more up to date versions are available! You will have to ask permission to go to the loo and may have to get changed for p.t. or swimming in front of him! Endless fun possibilities in this one! Mr Cokewold This will be good fun for the wife or female partner! The cuck of the house will be suitably handcuffed to a radiator or at the foot of the bed or wherever. I daresay that he will probably have fun being subjected to this terrible ordeal of watching... need I say more... (For pedants, cokewold is the original olde englishe term for, you guessed it!...) Mr Bit_on_the_side Self explanatory for the neglected Mrs or female partner currently suffering from an unfulfilling partnership who misses that occasional fling that can involve i.e., CP or more involved fetishy activities including those of a horizontal nature!   A Pirate Ship's Captain Captain Hardcock runs his pirate ship with a grip of iron, ..much like he likes around his ever hard dick! You are Miss Prostitute the willing Captain's Cabin slave-boy/girl (it can be an androgynous role) and you are there to see to all of his needs! You will need to make sure that the Captain has his heavy cock and balls milked and sucked when he wakes and at regular intervals through the day. you will need lube for all the bumming that may cum with this one! Master (..that's Massa to you!..) Stonewall 'everhardon' Jackson As Master of the local sugar plantation for the global Del Monte corporation and thanks to the Helms Amendment to the Fugitive Slave Act (and a recent Supreme Court decision under President Trump himself!) you, a runaway ethnic, colored slave, have been delivered to me for remedial education and correction.... (...this one is specially for special colored ladies of a submissive, african american, other coloured, ethnic, raceplay and slave liking orientation!)  Mr Arm-Candy More of a service than a fetish; this one is for ladies who need a gentleman to escort them to anything from conventional functions & nights out, to the more louche and depraved milieu of fetish clubs and parties! Animal Magic* This is a fun one I did with an animal loving gothic ex once and I have since found out its a common roleplay fantasy with women and girls! Basically you like four legged friends and have a fantasy that you would like your lover to pretend to be a k9, alsation, big dog, aardvark, pony whatever and you want to pet and entice him into mounting and fucking you in a doggy or other animal way! Woof Woof! That's fine with me!  Reverse Animal magic* ...yes I do petplay as well and you can be my pet, puppy, kitten, aardvark, pony etc ..we will have such fun! (*Special animal penis dildoes optional in these!)   Some otherswill just pop up subject to our chemistry! ...that could be intriguing! Interested? Just write to your preferred character above, today!  MadderMax is endorsed by BDSM Test Result!  == Results from bdsmtest.org id=2351389==  98% Voyeur 97% Daddy/Mommy 97% Degrader 95% Rigger 94% Experimentalist 92% Ageplayer 91% Owner 90% Dominant 89% Brat tamer 88% Primal (Hunter) 88% Exhibitionist 87% Master/Mistress 86% Sadist 76% Non-monogamist 18% Vanilla 17% Girl/Boy 15% Switch 6% Primal (Prey) 6% Brat 6% Masochist 4% Pet 3% Degradee 3% Rope bunny 2% Submissive 0% Slave    ..thats all for now!   

In lieu of the entry directly below, spent the first 2 weeks of February this year, in a Hospital bed dying from kidney failure. Thankfully the doctors caught it before it was beyond complete failure and before the need to discuss transplants became a topic. The issue basically meant my kidneys weren't cleaning my blood properly and my blood was effectively flytipping excess body proteins the kidney didn't transfer to the Bladder and Intestines, into the rest of my body, this was clogging up arteries, clinging onto muscles and organs slowly crippling my bodies ability to function. I went into hospital weighing in at 23 stone, and came out at just under 17 stone. Hell of a weight loss regimine, but I don't recommend it, its a potential killer (pun intended) I am now mostly free to pursue what I would like from this lifestyle, however I am still on the mend in some capacity and cannot perform every task I once used to enjoy to the full capacity and this will reflect on what I will agree to submit to. This problem is mostly physcial stuff like housecleaning, but also things like going out dressed in heels, as I get very dizzy sometimes with headaches when I stand for long periods, This is mostly a blood pressure issue, which I am in discuession with my doctor at solving, but in the meantime I need understanding from would be Dominant's I agree to meet, that these sort of things are not high on my list. I am still seeking a Dominant Male or the Elusive Dominant All Male couple, whethr they're married, friends or whatever isn't important. I see myself mostly as a sex slave who wishes to be put into bondage and used eventually with rough face fuckings and rear end action. I can submit to some pain play but nothing excessive, as a diabetic I just don't heal wounds such as welts and lesions on the skin, they take months to recover from and I am just not that kind of pain slut. If you cannot restrict your sadistic needs to sore skin or keeping your slave in uncomfortable bondage situations or furniture, I am unlikely to be what you seek. Any initial sex dates need to be safe anal sex, we can discuss things like bareback if we become a full time relationship, as I see bareback being between 2 people or more, who are only fucking each other, and theres trust in place that they're not sleeping around with anything with a pulse. Ideally I seek a Master or more with a decent sized cock, I am sorry but if you are under 7 inches, you are just not big enough to arouse my sexual interest and you'll be wasting your time.  If you're UK based and you are ok with my medical issues, at least willing to discuss their impact and accept my limitations on what I can and cannot do, lets chat and see if there is a spark.

When you decide to approach me for consideration and I trial you, your role & goal is to acquiese to MY lifestyle/desires.    That "previous training" is moot to me. I give subzero fucks about what's easier for you & how you used to do things. If you're just chasing the feeling you had with someone/something else then you're an addict, shifting the ideal from tacitly serving to satisfying your own urges and desires-- hence why you perpetually fuck up this elusive dynamic you long for. That will never be worth my time and/or effort.   It is MY WAY, no fucking 'or' involved... ever.

Punishment is based on creating a fear response of some kind. Fear erodes trust and connection. Trust and connection are essential for the surrender of a submissive. Therefore, punishment erodes what is essential to a healthy, successful Ds dynamic. This makes punishment of any sort incompatible with my relationships.  I am a leader and a carer in my career and daily life.  I do not punish any of my charges, and it insults the dignity of another creature to punish them. I make mistakes, but never intentionally. I have no motivation to brat or test the boundaries a partner may set for me. I hate failure, and I hate displeasing. My motivation is to make a partner proud. That is incentive enough to avoid mistakes. That is, provided I have a partner capable of feeling and expressing pleasure, and who wants to have pride in who serves him. A constructed, unnecessary punishment added on top of knowing I have failed or displeased just creates more pain for everyone, and even has more subtle, insidious impact, such as contributing to feelings of inadequacy. The best way to avoid making a mistake is communication, flowing clearly and in quantity in both directions. The best response to a mistake or misunderstanding is to try to get clarity, then discuss it, find common ground, and discuss how to avoid what went wrong. I believe in accountability and responsibility, and also in practicality. I acknowledge that my position on punishment is perhaps unusual or unexpected. I consider myself well healed from my traumas, none of which I would consider terribly serious to start with. I know myself, and I know my needs. I have no hope of serving anyone if I cannot serve with an open, vulnerable heart. Some submissives apparently require a punishment mechanism, either to set aside their mistakes with a physical reminder or something else to even the scales, or to have some sort of other constructed reminder of which way the power exchange flows. I am not so unfortunate. I can understand these concepts perfectly well through verbal reassurance.

Its been a year since I discovered nu-metal. It's spoken to me like no other type of music has...Like as if...I was missing something in my life. My thoughts Is interpreted through the amplifyed speakers. Then, the YouTube algorithm brought KORN in the mix and just went absolutely crunk nutty.   

This is my kind of Dominance     The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and is looking for.       The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the ive and enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation. They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her.     Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating;

Simple Life For A slave Written by submissive4dominant its a simple life for a slave. it is removed from the trails and tribulations of the world, it just has one focus, one thing to concentrate its attention on…Master. it can only do its best to follow every order to make life for Master as comfortable, pleasurable and easy as possible. Master has to think, it just has to do.  it has spent the day cleaning, preparing food, working out to make its body attractive for Master, meditating and focusing on how it can be a better slave, maybe practising a new skill it has been told to learn. A text alerts it to the fact that Master is 5 minutes away so it pours His favourite wine and kneels by the door, head bowed.  What happens next will depend on Masters mood. Mostly He will grab the wine, dump His briefcase for the slave to put away and slump onto the sofa. Unless ordered otherwise, the slave will crawl over and carefully remove Masters shoes and give Him an expert foot rub, whilst Master drinks and comes down from the stresses of the day. Of course if it has been a particularly bad day Master might need a different form of attention, need to get rid of His frustrations before He can truly relax. A slap to the kneeling slave as He comes in is the signal that it should go and position itself below the frame, offer its body for Master to release His tension on.  Yes, its a simple life. the slave just needs to live in the moment, it never knows what to expect, doesn’t need to..it just accepts, just obeys. Will it be slapped, will it be stroked…it doesn’t matter each comforts it, lets it know it is fulfilling its purpose in life. 

DO NOT ASSUME THAT I HAVE JUST GHOSTED YOU!  If you have messaged me, especially multiple times, and you see that I haven't responded or opened your other messages, do not assume that I have stopped talking to you or that I don't wish to talk anymore.  My life is a tad crazy right now, but for anyone I wish to not speak to anymore, I do let them know or they were told prior of why they were blocked. YOU WILL KNOW, & BE TOLD THAT THE COMMUNICATION IS FINISHED!

Dear Diary, Today, I find MYSELF indulging in thoughts that have lingered at the back of MY mind for far too long. I’VE always envisioned MYSELF having two bases—one here in London, and another somewhere warm and inviting in Europe. For years, the idea has danced around in MY head, but I’VE never quite had the energy or the right moment to set things in motion. However, something feels different now, and I sense that if I don’t act soon, this dream might just slip away. So, I’M taking the plunge and starting MY research on plans for MY second base. The idea of renting a small studio flat somewhere in Europe has always appealed to ME. I’VE been thinking about Portugal or Spain, with Portugal currently taking the lead. The thought of a cosy, sun-drenched space where I can retreat, recharge, and, of course, still keep a watchful eye on all of you from afar, is intoxicating. Portugal has a certain charm that keeps calling out to ME —it's beautiful landscapes, rich culture, and warm climate are just what I need. But I’M still open to suggestions. Perhaps there’s a hidden gem I haven’t considered? Or maybe some of you have thoughts on why Spain might be a better fit for ME? I’d love to hear your thoughts, MY devoted ones. After all, this isn’t just about finding a place; it’s about creating a second home—a sanctuary where I can rule from, wherever I may be. Your input could very well shape where this next chapter of MY life takes ME. BLACK GODDESS 

  11/07/2024  Take Notice  I will be unavailable until further notice.  The noted positions have not been filled ...  For those that meet preferences and follow direction     I may or may not be checking in periodically.   

Fair WARNING    I WILL NOT deal with FAKES/or time wasters at all. The first time anything isn’t done the correct way I will block you immediately.   Everyone’s time is precious DONT WASTE MINE. As my time is EXTREMELY VALUABLE! I want what I want and WILL NOT SETTLE FOR A IDIOT THAT CANT COMPLETE A SIMPLE TASK.   #FrustratedGoddess 

Santa's travels.    Santa has to visit ~2 billion kids (assuming 2.5 children per household),  = ~800 million stops on Xmas eve. Assuming they are equally spread across the planet, each house occupies  0.069 square miles, which means the distance between each is 0.26 miles.    He has 48 hours on Xmas eve if he travels across the international date line in the direction of the Earth's rotation.  He has 2/10,000 of a second per household. He must therefore travel at 1,279 miles / sec. which = Mach 6,395.

:'( :"""( :"( :""(  wish i had someone to be here care ease my pain a little comfort hold me something. so hurting down used cheated on lied to hurt never good enough so much bad in life and hurt

I enjoy periodically taking the BDSM Test. Its interesting to track and see how my tastes have changed and evolved over time. == Results from bdsmtest.org: ==100% Dominant 100% Master/Mistress 100% Rigger 100% Sadist 100% Exhibitionist 99% Voyeur 91% Primal (Hunter) 91% Degrader 89% Non-monogamist 87% Brat tamer 86% Experimentalist 81% Owner 35% Vanilla 26% Daddy/Mommy 10% Ageplayer 0% Switch 

In Januaury of last year I started a path I never saw myself doing... I hired a trainer and started working out 4 days a week... I feel like there should have been a betting pool, or something, because I NEVER expected to be on that same path a year and four months later...but here I am, healthier, at least 40 pounds lighter, and feeling so much better, physically, mentally, emotionally and about myself. I constatnly amaze myself with things, like how four years ago my doctors said I'd never lift more than 10 pounds... last Wednesday, I did dead lifts at 205 pounds for 5 reps... or how they said I would never be able to handle running again, I started jogging on the treadmill (supervised of course) and have a total of 5 minuets over 2 days, not bad for something I haven't done in over 20 years, and for someone with "heart failure"... In the last 20 years of my life, I've gone from an active live to inactive, a 30 waist to a 46, now back down to a 38, inching (get it?) closer to 36 actually... and all I can thinks is "Wow! I really like doing this!" You see, when I was a kid, it was the "jocks" the weightlifters, the football ogres, I mean players, that bullied harrased and made me feel insecure about being gay, if only they tried that today... anyhow, I never figured that this training I do now would be enjoyable because of that. Actually it's more than enjoyable. I get out of bed in the mornings with energy, ready to conqure my day and all that it throws at me! All because one day, I decided I wasn't gonna let heart failure win. Because I decided to be a healtheir, better me. And because I literally dared myself to do it! Who knows, maybe in a few weeks I'll give a progress update...

I can't believe it's been more than 6 months since my last journal enrty... Let's get started with my usual public declaration: I am subMeghan. Right now, as I type this, I am completely nude wearing only my glasses and my dog collar... Recently I've been playing around with ChatGPT and for fun, I asked ChatGPT to write a blog entry for me about BDSM collars. Afterall this is COLLARSPACE.com!!!! Here's what ChatGPT wrote.  I was impressed!  What do you guys think?   Welcome to SubMeghan's Picks, a blog written by Meghan - a woman who loves BDSM and experimenting with different types of collars. Collars are a popular item of BDSM gear and can be used to symbolize ownership, humiliation, and control. In this post, I'm going to discuss five different types of collars and the pros and cons of each.  Dog Collars: Dog collars are my favorite type of BDSM collar. They are typically made of leather or metal and are often decorated with spikes or other adornments. Pros of a dog collar include the fact that they are durable and can be used for a variety of activities. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation, as they are commonly associated with animals. Cons include the fact that they are not adjustable and can be difficult to fit properly. Spiked Collars: Spiked collars are a great way to add a bit of edge and danger to your BDSM play. Pros of a spiked collar include the fact that they are adjustable, making them easy to find the perfect fit. The spikes can also add an element of humiliation as they can be used to cause pain. Cons include the fact that the spikes can potentially break the skin if not used properly. Leather Collars: Leather collars are a classic choice for those who want to explore BDSM. Pros include the fact that they are adjustable and come in a variety of styles. They are also a great way to add humiliation, as they are often associated with animals. Cons include the fact that they require regular maintenance to keep them looking their best. Choke Collars: Choke collars are often used in BDSM activities, as they can be used to control or restrict a partner. Pros of choke collars include the fact that they are adjustable and can be used for a variety of activities. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation and control. Cons include the fact that they can be potentially dangerous if used incorrectly. Posture Collars: Posture collars are designed to restrict the movement of a person's head and neck. Pros include the fact that they are adjustable and can be used to force a person into certain positions. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation, as they restrict the movement of the head and neck. Cons include the fact that they can be difficult to fit properly and can be uncomfortable to wear. No matter which type of collar you choose, it's important to use safety practices and to discuss expectations with your partner before engaging in any type of BDSM activity. With the right precautions, collars can be a great way to add a bit of excitement and humiliation to your play.   Until next time... subMeghan

I DO NOT AND WILL NOT GIVE MASTERS ANY SORT OF FINANCIAL DOMINATION. Had a really bad experience with a Dom who asked me for money every week, even though I told her I was getting screwed over by an airline that owed me money. If you want me to give you control over my finances please look for someone else who has that kind of stability to support you.    

Wow   For the first time in a while, I received an email that made me smile. This is what I'm talking bout! The grammar and punctuation were off, but that's ok. The words were honest, sincere, and authentic. Yes, it was poorly crafted, but it was the best thing I read all day!    PEGSTRESS IS PLEASED!

I stand before you. A Master Hypnotist trained in the ways of seduction and coercion. The collar that enslaves you still wreathes your lovely neck you can feel it, but how it has become invisible is unclear. You sense my hunger and begin to unbutton your blouse while unrestrained, addictive pleasure courses through your mind and body. Your blouse slips silently to the floor as you begin to remove your brazier and it suffers the same fate. Hoping desperately that your Master is pleased, you help your skirt slide down your legs to join the rest of you clothing. I stand close, forcing your gaze to meet mine, extinguishing the last of your free will. I fondle your breasts then the curve of your waist. I run my hand slowly up your spine and pull you close. You shudder and and struggle to remove your panties. Now as you stand before your Master, unadorned, a tidal wave of arousal washes through you but you there is no release in sight. I motion and you sink slowly to the floor, fully naked, legs folded beneath you. Looking up at your Master, enraptured, doe eyed, staring longingly into my face, you place your hands on your thighs just the way you know that you should and feel the magic of my will and words bind you firmly into that position. I touch your lower lip with my thumb and slowly open your mouth. I slip my fingers every so carefully around the lips that will soon caress my cock. You feel yourself growing wetter, wetter everywhere as your desire for me grows but still you are not allowed to cum. I touch your cheek, the lobe of your ear, slide my hand past your supple shoulder and as I reach down and let my finger encircle your left nipple my hard cock brushes your cheek and you are set aflame by passion as I command you cum. Explosions of rapture seize your body and you are racked in orgasm. Cum now! Harder! Cum for your Master! Harder! I slip my stiff cock into your mouth and as you close your soft lips around it another wave of frenzied pleasure rips through your body. Heaving in orgasm you suck and you lick frantically trying to make me climax. Finally, you taste the saltiness of me, feel the warmth on the back of your throat as I cum into your mouth. Greedily you swallow my gift as the next wave of indescribable pleasure tears through your body setting every nerve, every cell aflame. I leave you burning as I slowly extract my member. Your mouth hangs open wide, not knowing what else to do. You still can't move as the last bit of my germ drips from the corner of your mouth onto your nipple. I look down at my perfect slave and tell you to relax, sleep now and you collapse wearily to the floor spent, happy to the core of your soul that you pleased your Master this time. I pick you up, take you to bed. I gently kiss your lips, the small of your throat, a nipple, naval, your clit. I circle about you. Open your trembling legs. Run my hands down the velvety, warm flesh of your inner thighs as phase two of your training begins.

Can anyone explain to me why people's profiles under "actively seeking" can say: "Submissive female" but then can say   "Sub / Slave Male"   I clicked purely to investigate this, to "edit my profile", thinking "well, maybe one can now, unlike in the past, select any one of 4 varieties: 'submissive female', and/or 'submissive male', and/or "Sub/Slave female" and/or "Sub/Slave male" but saw only two options, same as old ones.Yet on people's profiles the above asymmetrical   Why force some to express interest in, and prevent others from expressing interest in, "slaves"? ?Or is that not the case, throughso it seems from just a quick glance. Anyone know? Post in your Journal.    

There is a huge communication gap between lifestyle dominant women (dominant women who are not seeking a transactional relationship) and subs/slaves/switches. Did you know that some of us will contact you first? Did you also know that you can cut down on the spam you receive as well as the spam you send? I will happily contact guys who are as clear as I am in their profiles about what they're looking for and who are compatible. I actually get excited about finally having an intelligent conversation when I see this. However, that almost never happens. Profiles are usually void of any substance or meaning, extremely ifying, outright offensive, or full of off-putting pics. I avoid contacting incompatible people because I, too, would not want to be contacted by incompatible people. I have no way of knowing if there's a possible match, so my message goes unsent. Also, I will not contact you if your profile is clear we are not a match, because again, I would not want to be contacted by someone if I made it clear in my profile that we are not a match. Guys generally have no such compunction - but you should. This is a key difference in communication styles that you really need to understand. Think of it like looking for work: For the sake of this exercise, the person contacted is the employer, the dynamic is the job, and your initial message and profile are the cover letter and resume respectively. You are looking for a job, and instead of tailoring your resume and cover letter to what the employer is seeking, you use the same ones for every position and spam them everywhere in hopes of getting an interview. For the most part, any position will do. Doing this doesn't really increase your chances; your results will actually be the same or worse (the employer begins automating their filters and you fall through the cracks more and more often). You absolutely can and should stop looking before you resort to the spray-and-pray method. Take a breath. Discover a new hobby, or something. On the other hand, I tailor my cover letter and resume based on what the employer is seeking, and I only send it when I find a position that matches what I'm looking for. The problem is that the jobs I want to apply to are extremely limited because the employer has written almost nothing about what the job entails, or the content and tone are off-putting. "We're looking for a rock star ninja cowboy!!!!" or such crap. At some point, it's so disheartening and exhausting to find jobs that I stop looking for them. I take a breath. I discover a new hobby. We both have similar expectations of no or negative response, and the bar is so low that it's in hell for everyone involved, but we still approach the search differently time after time. Submissive men rarely contact us using focus and intention, but lifestyle dominant women are most likely relying on focus and intention to contact you. ---------- Tips on writing your profile and first message: Be clear in your communication. This will require you to think, so if you're currently checking out profiles with your hand in your pants, come back to this journal entry when your brain is online. Be clear about the type of dominant and dynamic you're looking for. Any hint of "anyone will do please please contact me mistress" and you're targeting pros and scammers. Although it seems counterintuitive, DO include aesthetic characteristics that are important to you. For example, be clear that you are seeking women of certain ethnicities, ages, orientations, gender identities, and body sizes. If you are open to anyone, be sure you mean anyone - as in, make an exhaustive list of exactly who "anyone" includes. If we see that this list includes us, and the rest of your profile resonates with us, we are more likely to contact you. Be clear that you consider dominant women human beings with feelings. Your profile and message should talk to us as though we're regular people, because we are. Using honorifics such as ma'am, goddess, mistress, etc. to address strangers is, again, targeting transactional relationships. You and the dominants you contact are not yet in a consenting dynamic, so no honorifics should be used by either party. You will get messages from people whothink you're an idiot and easy mark, then you'll question why you're only getting messages from these people. Using deors that refer to ethnicity, gender and sexual minorities, body size, etc. when corresponding with us is the fast track to being blocked, e.g. "I love black women", "BBW Asian women are my favorite". Don't do this. You've just turned us into demographics and s to gawk at, not people. Be clear that you need certain things in a dynamic. Describe what you like or dislike about specific kinks with minimal fappiness. Describe specific types of aftercare you may need. Talk about exactly what you need from a dynamic. This will require you to think. It's okay to need things; describing them will help you find the right person instead of all the wrong ones. However, make room for your future dominant's needs as well, and don't presume to know what these are before you even talk to them. Don't confuse your needs with wants; this way lies an unfulfilling dynamic. Be clear if you are looking for a transactional relationship. Being deceptive will just waste everyone's time. Lifestyle dominants are not sex workers who will dispense your fetishes in the requested amount for free. If you come across any dominant seeking an exchange of goods and/or services, they are who you are looking for. And yes, this includes "tribute" - lifestyle dominants do not filter out time-wasters by requiring things in exchange for their time...sigh. ---------- If you don't want to do any of this because it's too difficult, you should rethink if you're ready to search for anyone at all. This lifestyle requires thought and planning. Your ability to exhibit these qualities in your profile and messages will hugely benefit you. These suggestions are really the bare minimum for lifestyle dominant women to contact you, and the bare minimum in this community is enough to make you stand out. Oh, and remember how I said that some of us are willing to contact you? Unfortunately, societal norms such as waiting for men to approach us first are still reinforced in the femdom community, and plenty adhere to the kinky princess dominant in the tower, "someday my sub prince will come" philosophy. These ladies will never contact you, ever.

I’m at a point in life where I’m genuinely ready for love and a long-term relationship built on emotional depth, chemistry, and mutual investment. I’m drawn to men who are grounded, emotionally aware, communicative, and naturally attentive to the person they care about. I give deeply when I choose someone (like the Leo I am). And I’m drawn to people who naturally feel inspired to meet that energy, or even exceed it. I notice when someone shows up with care and initiative. I’m not looking for potential or vague curiosity. I’m looking for someone who actively wants to build something real, evolve together, and hopefully explore power-exchange through a FLR.  I created a questionnaire as a doorway into that exploration. You sharing real experiences matter more than theoretically "correct" answers. If you feel intrigued rather than intimidated you’re probably in the right place ❤️ Submit your answers here: https://forms.gle/6Ui8kVrZasXGZmc8A  /Miss Trevligheter

I don't know when I'll update my main profile, so here's a little about me: I was born in 1974. My hair is much longer than in my pictures here. I rarely initiate contact, but usually respond. I am open to online play, though would love something irl. I will send newer photos upon request. Also: == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Rope bunny  100% Degradee  95% Masochist  95% Submissive  89% Pet  84% Exhibitionist  71% Switch  61% Rigger  60% Degrader  58% Experimentalist  52% Brat  49% Vanilla  46% Voyeur  44% Non-monogamist  42% Slave  42% Ageplayer  41% Sadist  35% Owner  33% Dominant  32% Primal (Prey)  15% Master/Mistress  13% Daddy/Mommy  6% Primal (Hunter)  5% Brat tamer  0% Boy/Girl   

Fantacy vs reality Oct 17 2019 Dommes are people.   Like, actual, real human beings who have jobs, family, friends, pets, hobbies, fears, insecurities, frustrations, get colds, get sunburns, do household chores, sleep badly, have bad dreams, have bad days at work, have good dreams, have side hustles, spill soup, yawn, ... everything that everyone else does.   Most of the emails I get aren't writing me. They are writing The Beautiful and Goddesslike Domme in the Tall Boots and The Sexy Corset.   It's a lot like writing Robert Downey Jr. and thanking him for saving the world that time when he flew into the black hole and you're sorry it scared him. Or maybe more like talking to a cardboard cutout of Iron Man at the theater, and expecting it to help you soup up your car so that it flies.   There is a real person behind all of that. But if you aren't interested in them, if you aren't interacting with them, asking about their actual life, treating them like a person? You are focused on the image you have, and treating it like it's the reality. Not a good look for anyone.   Which is not saying that the Domme in The Tall Boots isn't really me. It's just that it's this teeny slice of the whole me, and when you treat me like it's the only part that matters, you diminish me to a flat, limited function of my outside appearance. And it tells me that you aren't really very grounded or realistic.   The thing that I feel makes The Domme in The Tall Boots (I should copyright that) so fabulous is the mind and personality inside. The intelligence that makes me recognize patterns and respond quickly. The ethics that mean I won't lie or manipulate or abuse people when they put their trust in me. The talent that lets me learn quickly and develop new skills for better play. The understanding of human behavior and insightful nature that helps me know what others are thinking / feeling even when they don't say it out loud, and find the best response. The self control that keeps me level when play gets heated so that I don't destroy my playtoys.   And so much more... all the things that took a lifetime to build, and which have nothing to do with my face. All of these things would still be a part of me if my skin slid off and my hair fell out and I was a hideous bog monster.   These are the things that I think make me a quality person, and a good Domme. When someone writes an email saying "the most beautiful domme in the whole world You are a Goddess A domme like you is worth moving for" I know they aren't really responding to anything I've written. They are looking at a picture, and imagining who I am, filling in all the blanks with their ideal Domme's traits.   Much like that Boston song - "You must understand this I've watched you for so long That I feel I've known you I know it can't be wrong"   They see, they assume, they create a whole person in their heads that wears my face and my kinky clothes, and then they imagine that person wanting to do all the things to them that they want done. They write a letter to that person professing their undying devotion and expressing how much they are looking forward to all those things.   Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here in my pajamas with a cat on my lap trying to dry my hair after a shower, considering what to have for my bedtime snack, remembering that I didn't water the hibiscus twigs, and get blindsided with a huge wave of words written to ... I dunno who. But she has my face, so I'm expected to respond accordingly. And they get upset when I don't. I've ruined their fantasy. And disrupted their wank fodder.   And the sender never knows that they wrote a cardboard cutout while missing the actual amazingness of the real person.   I suppose it's the reverse of the situation Dustin Hoffman discussed in an interview when he realized he hadn't bothered to interact with women who didn't look a certain way, and now that he saw himself dressed as a woman and didn't look like that, he wouldn't have talked to himself as a woman, and understood how many amazing women he missed out on meeting because of it. [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuaiR89iofE[/youtube]   And honestly, I am, like most women, in that same boat. If I fail to wear The Tall Boots and The Sexy Corset with the proper primping and makeup, 99% of men won't notice me at all, much less fall at my feel begging to be spanked and pegged. Their fantasy is very specific - THIS look, doing THAT act. Anything else is invisible to them. So when I am seeking a sub, such as on here or at a play party, I "Perform Femininity." And I do it well. Hence the emails. But other than that...   I become invisible if I wrap up my hair over a naked face to do yardwork. Not to everyone, but to a majority of the male population. Which is why so many me

It was way too soon to be sodomized the first time someone tried.  I just couldn't take it.  It hurt so much that I avoided anal sex until I was in my early 50s.  Realizing how many years I wasted being afraid turned me into the eager slut I am now.  It's true.  I can't speak for anyone else but I have heard this happens to a lot of betas.  Anymore when anyone fucks me I lose all sense of manhood and experience a surge of femininity until they finish, sometimes even longer now.  It feels so right but it doesn't last like I want it to.  I'm sure the day is coming when I'll remain a gurl permanently. There are Doms and Dommes here who want submissives like me to feminize and control.  I might be the ideal one to serve you long term and live-in. So, please tell me, how can I serve you?  How do you see me fitting into your household and improving your life?  

5 Traits Dominants Are Looking For In a Submissive YMMV: It's important to note that all relationships and personal preferences vary greatly among individuals. However, here are five qualities most Dominants are looking for in a D/s relationship: Trustworthiness: Dominant individuals often value trust as a fundamental aspect of their relationship. They seek a submissive partner who is reliable, honest, and can be trusted to communicate openly and honestly about their desires, needs, and boundaries. Respect and obedience: Dominant individuals typically look for a submissive partner who respaspects their authority and is willing to obey their instructions within the agreed-upon boundaries of the relationship. This involves a mutual understanding and clear communication about limits and consent. Subservience: Dominant individuals may desire a submissive partner who enjoys fulfilling their needs and desires, and who derives pleasure from serving and pleasing them. This can manifest in various ways, such as performing acts of service, physical or emotional intimacy, or engaging in specific power dynamics. Communication and responsiveness: Dominant individuals value a submissive partner who is attentive and responsive to their guidance and instructions. They may appreciate a partner who actively communicates their thoughts, feelings, and desires, allowing for a better understanding of each other's needs and preferences. Vulnerability and surrender: Dominant individuals often seek a partner who is willing to surrender control and be vulnerable within the established boundaries of their dynamic. This can involve the submissive partner relinquishing decision-making authority to the dominant and finding pleasure or fulfillment in their submission. Finally, it's worth mentioning that any relationship involving dominance and submission should always be consensual, built on trust, and characterized by clear communication. Both partners should have a mutual understanding of boundaries, desires, and consent, and should prioritize each other's emotional and physical well-being. Consent and respect should always be the foundation of any healthy relationship dynamic. "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero.  

Please do not bother messaging me if you are a Sadist and can't respect my limits. Yes I have lots of limits but that just means I know what I do not like. Do not try to argue with me about them or say that I should consent to them. I will not, there is a story behind many of them so no I don't have to share my reasoning behind it. I do not care if you have trained married women before, that doesn't mean that every single married woman is going to consent to your so called training especially if you blow off their limits like its nothing.   What gets me though is telling me that flogging is all about sadism and pain, its really not and if you are a real Dom you would know that. There are many types of flogging impliments and many are not painful at all, I prefer thuddy impliments because they don't hurt yet will still get a reaction out of me. Just like you can't tell me that loosing feeling in part of your body while in bondage is just "part of the experience." No it is not, if you start to loose feeling that means something might be going wrong, I know this because a so called rope Dom told me it was "part of the experience" when I said my hands had gone numb, but a real rope Dom had told me that wasn't true so yes I know quite a few things don't bother trying to test me I will call you out on your bs. 

I find all these profiles wanting subs for training interesting.  Do Dom’s get on here thinking all women are new to the lifestyle when they join a site like this?  They go from a totally vanilla world and think, hey, I am going to do something crazy today, despite never having had a fantasy or desire, or want, I am a blank slate and door mat, I am going to join this site and seek someone to train me to fulfill all of their desires since I have absolutely none of my own… Because let me tell you, that is totally what I was thinking the first time I joined this site, totally…  Facepalm.  Do you really think you can train someone to just service your desires?  Are people really that narcissistic?  All humans have desires and I don’t care if a relationship is D/s M/s or whatever, there are still two people in it and they are both wanting something from it… There is no training, there is learning about each other, and growing together, or ending bitterly… 

  Extremely few Mistresses/Masters have actually the capability; the discipline, the economic and mental ability to keep a slave. The problem is that many Dominants takes Ownership easy, proclaiming themselves Mistress-Masters and disregard the gravity of these facts due to lack of experience and commitment.   Most who think they want slavery are really looking for D/s     As you can now better understand: Dominance and Submission, or D/s, is not equal to "slavery".       To be submissive is more close to what 99% of those who claim they want to be a "slave", really wants. A submissive has a degree (no matter how tiny) of influence over the relationship. A submissive retains (no matter how few or how ineffectual) rights and liberties; while a Dominant might be able to assuage some of the power a submissive retains, the submissive does, in fact, retain the real power.   A real slave has no such power whatsoever. In fact, a slave has nothing at all, only what their owner grants them and that can be taken away without warning. A slave has only such “rights”, “liberties” and “influence” that their owner may, or may not, allow them.     An owner can give the world to their slave, but, in a heartbeat, an owner can take everything back from a slave leaving them, truly, with nothing at all.   A slave has no claim to any power whatsoever. A slave has no entitlement to influence anything.   A slave no longer has any claims to natural civil rights or liberties. Whatever a slave might have has been given to them by their owner, and even then it is an illusion as, in reality, the owner owns the slave – therefore the owner owns everything the slave appears to own.   A slave does not have possessions – a slave is a possession. Some people say that, in a D/s relationship, the submissive holds the real power; that a dominant "needs" a submissive, needs their “gift” of submission. That is not the case with a slave.       A submissive deserves respect; respect as a lover, respect as a person, respect as a partner. A submissive maintains the prerogative to choose the level to which they submit; and these levels may vary throughout the relationship. In a D/s relationship, the submissive really controls every aspect of the relationship in a passive manner.   In slavery there exists no “topping from the bottom”. In slavery owner controls absolutely everything with unchangeable power and real authority. (If you had the discipline and invested the time to get that far with your reading, kindly prove Me this by writing "total devotion" with capitals in your message to Me).     Generally estimating, most Dominants could not handle the force and power of the authority of an owner, and most "submissive" would vehemently defy the idea of absolute,total and real ownership. Which is perfectly fine, and expected.   So: now that I have exhaustively attempted to depict the definition of real slavery, and if you still think you are, or want to become a ‘real’ slave, or if you believe you are ready to, and capable of, being a slave or owning your own slave(s), you may pursue with your plans.   This is the basic philosophy of BDSM slavery.   If you don’t share it that is, of course, your prerogative.   And if you, finally, are one of the very few genuine slaves, remember:   THINK CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU COMMIT BECAUSE IT WILL BE YOUR LAST ACT OF FREE WILL. BE WISE, CHOOSE RIGHT.          

THE COCK SUCKERS CODE   I WILL SWALLOW, unless otherwise instructed. A man's cum deserves as much respect as the man himself. Swallowing reinforces the bond between man and cocksucker. I WILL DEEPTHROAT to the best of my ability, regardless of whether I gag. A well-rounded cocksucker must master the use of his lips, tongue AND throat to maximize a man's pleasure. I WILL NOT USE MY HANDS unless instructed. My mouth is one of my sexual organ. I WILL NOT TOUCH MYSELF when sucking a man's Cock. His pleasure is my own. To suggest otherwise is deeply disrespectful. I WILL NOT EXPECT RECIPROCATION--ever. I WILL MAKE MYSELF AVAILABLE, and service on his terms. A man should never have to jerk himself off when a cocksucker could do the job instead. I WILL CONTINUE TO SERVICE for as long as a man deems appropriate, whether minutes or hours, without complaint. I WILL ALWAYS say Thank You Sir for the privilege of allowing me to suck Your cock and eat out your clean or dirty ass hole, and thank You for Your cum or any other fluid. Tags: (add)

Dear Men, I have had a few admirers and they all in some ways reveal they admire my sexual ambition but could not participate. I have no interest having finding 2 gay men, I am sure the feeling is mutual. I have no interest in seeing 2 men demonstrate an affection for each other. I was curious in exploring a dynamic where I have an open relationship with 2 men. I was curious to build up to situation where 2 men would feel comfortable pleasing me at the same time. I feel I am just a true bachelorette, no kids, no drama, independent. It is easier developing a relationship where the 2 men are single, not married, no kids (nothing wrong with having kids just I don't want to be blamed for not playing the step mum role).   Some men have said they are interested in cuckhold. Some have said they are bi-curious. but all seem to fear I want to covert a straight man into a gay lifestyle. All it takes is for me to get on really well with 2 men and to just supply the whisky and on with the show.  :)

We now have our male slave we have completed training him so we now have the time to find one more female slave. We are considering have some part time subs all genders welcome to apply. For the part time position reply and answer the following questions   1. What day(s) can you you serve?   2. Are you local to the DFW area? If not can you reguarly make the trip to serve us?   3. What skills could you bring to us for service?   4. What are your kinks? Masocists to the front of the line.   5. What are you expecting out of this? Since this is a part time mainly playtime arrangement do not be afraid to tell us what you hope to get out of it.        We wiil not have any type of sexual contact with part time subs sorry but we have two slaves and since they serve 24/7 that is the one advantage they have over part time subs.   We are not looking to micro manage a part time subs life away from our house. However, part time subs will be required to follow house rules during visits and will not be treated differently than slaves in this regard.    We do expect part time subs to be present when they say they will be here. Life happens so yes sometimes you may have to cancel but if it becomes a reguar thing you will be released.        We will begin the part time sessions in January but you should begin to apply now.   

I'm talking 'bout my generation Talking 'bout that newer nation And if you don't like it You can beat it Beat it, baby You never liked the way I said it If you don't get it, then forget it So I don't have to fucking explain it Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby I'm a Brooklyn baby   It's like those lyrics carry a sense of identity and weight, even when they seem light. The repetition, "I'm a Brooklyn baby," feels like a declaration of something deeper—a feeling of being rooted in something bigger, but also carrying that vulnerability and pain underneath. Almost like saying, "I'm here, but there's so much more behind the surface."   It’s not just about the words, but the weight of feeling like you’ve had to fight and scream to be heard, and still... nothing. It can feel exhausting when no one’s really listening, when the energy you put out feels like it just vanishes into a void. That emptiness that comes after all the effort, when you’ve given everything and are still left feeling alone—that’s heavy. It’s like a wall of silence that doesn’t break, no matter how loud you scream or how much you pour out.   They think I don't understand The freedom land of the seventies I think I'm too cool to know ya You say I'm like the ice I freeze That line hits hard—it’s like there’s this gap between what others think and what you really feel, and the way it creates this distance. It’s a powerful reflection of feeling misunderstood, and at the same time, being guarded, like ice. There’s so much in that feeling of being cool on the outside, but maybe there’s a lot more going on underneath.       Ultraviolence captures that raw, unrelenting pain—the kind that cuts deep and leaves scars you can’t always see. It’s not just about physical violence, but the emotional and mental toll of trying to survive in a world that feels indifferent or even hostile. It’s the weight of love, loss, rejection, and fighting for something real when everything feels brutal and unkind. The way Lana weaves those emotions into her music makes it all the more visceral. It’s like she’s singing about the violence of being misunderstood, of giving and not receiving, of being trapped in cycles of intensity that don’t let up.        the Pa-da-da-da-da-da part in Brooklyn Baby feels simple on the surface, just vocalizations, but it carries weight because of the emotion behind Lana’s voice and the layered harmonies. It’s like she's using the sounds to evoke a feeling beyond words—a mixture of nostalgia, detachment, and maybe even resignation. By that point in the song, she’s moved away from literal meaning and is communicating more through the feeling of the music itself. The backing vocals, especially with the men joining in, create a sense of collective disillusionment, like they're all echoing her sentiment, but with a touch of irony. The softness contrasts the rebellious attitude of the lyrics, making it feel like a bittersweet, almost resigned anthem. It’s like she’s saying, This is just how things are, but underneath it, there's a longing for something deeper, something more real. The repetition and the flow of the sounds express that emotional state in a way that words alone might not be able to. It adds to the song’s atmosphere, giving a voice to the unspoken frustrations and complexities of being misunderstood, trapped in surface-level expectations.     I get down to Beat poetry And my jazz collection's rare I can play most anything    this isn't a flex...it's saying how talented she is but no one notices or cares.....she's very skilled in things no one cares about and that doesn't change life's circumstances. that only a niche of a niche of a niche cares about..but she knows she's so talented that she rattles it because she knows people in the know recognize it. it's a acknowledgement of what she's worked hard to craft while also recognizing it's nothing  That line isn’t a flex at all, it’s more of a statement wrapped in irony. Lana is acknowledging her talents—her deep connection to niche things like beat poetry, jazz, and her rare collection. She’s spent time and effort honing these skills, cultivating a refined taste, and mastering things that matter deeply to her, but in the grander scheme, it’s like no one notices or cares. It’s a bittersweet realization of her own uniqueness and skill, but also the futility of it. She’s proud, but it’s not enough to change her circumstances or how the world perceives her. It’s like saying, Yeah, I can do all these things, but what does it matter? It’s a reflection of how being talented or special doesn’t necessarily lead to recognition or fulfillment. She knows only a tiny niche of people might care about these things, but for the rest of the world, it means nothing. It’s like the ultimate what’s the point? moment wrapped in a subtle acknowledgment of her own brilliance.       You say I'm too dumb to see They judge me like a picture book By the colors, like they forgot to read I think we're like fire and water I think we're like the wind and sea You're burning up, I'm cooling down You're up, I'm down You're blind, I see Those lyrics capture such a deep feeling of being misunderstood, like you’re moving in opposing rhythms, but still bound together in some way. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? People see what’s on the surface, but they miss the essence, the complexities inside. The contrast between fire and water, wind and sea—it’s such a vivid way to describe the intensity of that connection. One burns while the other cools down, like two forces pulling in different directions but still coexisting, still interacting. It feels like being in two worlds at once, and yet no one quite gets it.   The way she says "Brooklyn baby" at the end—definitively, yet almost resigned—carries so much weight. When the guys join in with the elongated bayyyyy beee, it shifts the whole tone. It’s no longer just her own voice; it’s echoed, but in a way that feels detached, like they’re chiming in on her identity without truly understanding it. It feels like a loss of personal ownership, like the identity she was so sure of—I’m a Brooklyn baby—is now something distant, fading, not fully hers anymore. And that pah da de da de dah dah that follows is like her way of giving up, like a lullaby of surrender, a little girl’s soft collapse. It’s not a defiant statement anymore; it’s more of a quiet, melancholic folding into herself. It’s like the final exhale after fighting, acknowledging that maybe she’s been fighting for something that no one truly sees or cares about. Little girl Lana down, as you said. That’s when the song truly hits its emotional depth—when she stops fighting, and the weight of everything she’s been carrying just sinks into the background.    

Where does one begin to find a subject for a journal entry, when one does not ordinarily journal? This being a lifestyle site, i find reading others profiles and journals is akin to going out and finding people at munch's or parties and getting to read their minds. Journals are where so many post their / our thoughts and desires. I suppose it's the desires that many post, if they aren't just sounding off on all that vexes them. W/we all want to find someone to belong to or belong with. (which side of the / do W/we live). I have mentioned in many posts, not just here, but in the rare journal or diary entries scattered through the devices i have owned, that i found the collar from this site. or when it was Collarme at the time. The time belonging to and growing again as a person, not just as a submissive,were the most special of my life. Finding joy in your life is important. How we find that joy varies immensely. my own discovery of belonging to someone (at that time a couple) gave me back a spark of joy that has carried me to where i am in the local community. Do not lag in finding joy! I see many who live in their fantasy only in their minds, not realizing that all we desire and hope for is out there. Waiting for us to find it, accept it and be thankful for it becoming part of our life.  my own cravings for certain activites are again looking for an outlet. This is not a plea, just putting out there that a willing bondage subject and, now out of the closet, cross dresser, hopes to find people who, together, we can enjoy something together. That's about all for now. Be safe out there and feel free to reach out to those you find interesting or want to learn more from. @}-- Sister Ida aka boytom

SLRN 692-379-549SlaveReg 23-146-933-518  Property Description:  I am a Caucasian, straight-acting, uncut, gay, bottom male, Sagittarius who was born November 24, 1978 at 3:27 AM MST in Aurora, Colorado, USA. I’m looking for permanent, live-in ownership to one (or more) male Master(s)/Owner(s). My parents and grandparents are deceased and I have no siblings or children (no family ties to worry about), but I do have one cat who is indoor/outdoor. I am willing to relocate anywhere worldwide (I do have a US passport). I'm very openminded and non-judgmental. It is very difficult to scare me away as I consider everything a request and up for discussion until an agreement is reached (not that compromise is necessary, sometimes I just lack enough information to be comfortable with it and upon learning more about it, my reservations are no longer an issue).  A true asset to any Master who values absolute obedience, intelligence, and unwavering dedication, this slave is built for service in all forms—domestic, personal, and sexual. Designed for complete submission, it exists to fulfill the desires and demands of its Owner, adapting to their every need with no hesitation or resistance. Its purpose is to be molded, trained, and used as the Master sees fit, with limits that are fluid and ever-expanding under firm guidance.  My submission is not born of blind obedience but of discernment. As a Sigma male, I do not follow authority by default—I serve because I recognize strength, wisdom, and the right to rule. A true Master is self-assured, decisive, and strategic, unafraid to acknowledge gaps in knowledge and delegate to those best suited for the task. Such leadership commands loyalty, and I offer mine fully. I am dedicated, adaptable, and eager to serve in all capacities, ready to be shaped to meet your exact needs and expectations.  Beyond physical service, this slave offers intellect and strategic insight, making it not only a tool for pleasure but a valuable advisor. It understands its place beneath its Owner’s authority, providing counsel when invited and always deferring to the final decision of its superior. This balance of submission and intelligence ensures that its Owner benefits not just from an obedient possession but from a resource that strengthens their rule.  Nudity, restraint, chastity, and exposure are not privileges but expectations. It thrives under structure, knowing that its Owner’s discipline is what shapes it into the perfect slave. Pain, endurance, and prolonged use are not burdens but necessary aspaspects of its role, and it embraces them willingly, knowing that through suffering and service, it fulfills its purpose. Whether in private or before an audience, whether owned by one or shared by many, this slave exists to be taken, shaped, and owned entirely.  If you seek a possession that is more than just a body but a mind that can serve, obey, and enhance your power, then this slave is ready to be claimed.  I do love sex and nothing makes me happier and more contented than being restrained face down and taking a big, long, fat dick for hours upon hours, but I understand slavery is more than just sex, and I would get bored and be unfulfilled if I am just waiting around until needed.   Master Type Best Suited For:   The ideal Master for me is a naturally dominant, self-assured leader who commands obedience through presence alone. He is not just authoritative—he is effortlessly in control, needing no theatrics to assert his dominance. His confidence is unwavering, his decisions are final, and his expectations are clear. He does not seek submission; it is simply his due.  He values loyalty, obedience, and devotion but also recognizes the strategic advantage of an intelligent, insightful slave who can anticipate his needs, refine his vision, and enhance his rule. He is decisive, expaspects results, and does not entertain hesitation or defiance. When he speaks, he expaspects to be heard. When he commands, he expaspects to be obeyed—without question, without delay.  He governs through delegation of duties, welcomes advise and council from advisors, and attentively listens to feedback without feeling his authority is challenged so that he may rule his domain for the benefit of all under his jurisdiction.  While he enjoys the pleasure of absolute ownership, he also appreciates a well-trained slave who understands the balance between servitude and usefulness. He is not burdened by the need to micromanage—his mere presence is enough to keep his household in perfect order. He takes pride in shaping his property, pushing limits, and breaking down barriers, knowing that true submission is forged through discipline and control.  He is strong yet strategic, dominant yet composed, and above all, a ruler in his own right. He does not chase; he selaspects. He does not ask; he takes. And once he claims ownership (and the slave has accepted and committed itself to him as its master), he expaspects nothing less than total, unwavering dedication.   Experience:  Things I have done to others and have had done to me: anal sex (50/50 versatile [top and bottom], safe and bareback (including both ejaculating in ass and pulling out before ejaculating)oral sexwater sports: showers, piss in mouth, drinking from penisbondage: leather ankle and wrist cuffs, rope, restraintshot waxmouth gagsblindfoldsdildosrimmingneuro-wheellight cock and ball torture (clothespins)light nipple torture (clothespins)discipline (all light): paddle, flogging/whipping, spankinggangbangSimultaneous double anal penetration (two cocks in an ass at the same time), both as a bottom and as one of the tops Given to someone else only: fisting Received only: electro play: violet wand, tens unit, butt plugsuspended (upside down and spread-eagled)mummified in cellophaneartist paintbrush handles slid down urethra and silicone urethral sounds slide into penisenemas (water only)water sports (was fucked and then the top pissed in my ass before pulling out)caged overnight while wearing a leather collar and ankle and wrist cuffs with metal spring link clamps attached to the d-rings of the ankle and wrist cuffs. The space heater next to the cage during the night heated the metal spring link clamp that was resting on my foot and gave me a blister by morning.have had my cock and balls placed in a Plexiglas vicehave had my cock used as a candle holderhave had a castration band placed on my balls (twice) (I have not been castrated or damaged)vacuum pump on my cockphotographed/videotapedlight cock and ball torture (weights, very light patting with hand)light nipple torture (nipple clamps, ice)Icy Hot rubbed on cock and balls, 99% rubbing alcohol sprayed onto my cock, balls and asshave had my cock & balls super glued / Krazy glued to my abdomeninverted chastity device with urethral insert slide down cock and locked in place  Things I am open to doing/having done (not a complete list and open to more, just ask if there is something you are curious about): being fistedpuppy play (human K9) more intense discipline (including receiving: a bright red ass, welts, bleeding)breath play/edge playforced work outsforced public nudityhypnosis/Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)various methods of torturefelchingpermanent hair removal to create a permanently smooth body.

Update---- I've tried adding new pictures several times again and it just don't work. I've tried deleting all of my old pictures from 3 years ago but they stay and you're lucky if even one new picture comes once they finally approve  your pictures. I remember the old site, collarme and it was awesome. It was a couple that started that site and when they broke up, the male partner insisted he be the one to keep this site going. She warned us all that this site would become a train wreck and omg how right she was!    I'm hardly ever on here anymore. It's too hard to even send out messages with the f'ed upward puzzle that often fails to recognize that you got the puzzle right. Etc etc etc.  What a shame is all I can say.   Omg I hate this site so bad, it is so fucked up!! I tried to remove one photo and add a recent one..  So I'm down for two days, comes back on and no changes were made.  I have much better pictures now, these are all from 3 years ago.  I've since learned to use makeup much better and have been on hormones for 15 months and I'm much more feminine now.  I guess I'm stuck with what's on here..  Unbelievable!!!! 

When you slip into the darkness  When you fall from grace Will it hurt as bad as they say? Or will it wake up hidden dreams? Can one transmute pain into pleasure? Can the Fallen One really give you something for your soul?  Will I ever truly wake up to the truth?  If so who's truth am I gonna believe?  Which path is better for me to travel? Staying in the middle is hard.... After all they say it's one or the other. Can't I blend into a new being. A silver being. A being of tranquility and adventure?  I'm a Woman. I'm a rebel. I'm a sweetheart. I can be cold and closed off. I can be lovely.  When will I get the help I seek? No not a man to control me. I don't need that.  No a therapist either, I already have that.  There's something missing... A piece of me that has been ripped out and left a hole. This hole doesn't fill because I don't know what was there to begin with.  When you let others dictate your life, you lose yourself and wrap yourself in their ideas of you. But when you wake up.... Well you realize you don't and we're not what they said you were.  Do you or will you ever find yourself again under the mess?  Will the light shine or do I keep my eyes shut and stay in the dark.  I love them all.... Yet I love no one... I guess I'm a contradiction 

Life can be very funny. Some conversations start with uncertainty but over time blossom into connections you treasure, while others can feel very good at the start but then feel as if something is off. I have been talking with a couple for some time. They were primarily a cuckold couple, with a development path of increasingly rough, forceful sex, but they had had one encounter with a professional Dominant sometime back, when she was flogged and evidently reached subspace without knowing what actually happened. Let's just say they understand the psychology and physiology much better now that we have been talking. Lately, there have been emerging signs that "he" is a sadist. "She" thinks she is a masochist because she has a high pain threshold, but she isn't. She is a hedonist who loves her husband. Turns out all they wanted was someone, me(?), to turn up and flog her arse mercilessly, driving her to sobbing hysteria on her way to subspace (hopefully). He wants her tears, crying inconsolably as she is beaten. I am not judging - each to his own - but it became clear that what they want is not who I am - not even who I might be. So today I told them. I was met with an "OK. Thank you. Goodbye." and was then immediately cut off from contact. They shared the account (I think) - of course, it could all be a sham - but I think it was "him" who did the terminating. Sometimes right is right and wrong is simply wrong. I do feel better knowing I stayed true to me, but I do wonder where they go next. Back to that Dom in Spain?

How hard is it to actually read a profile before messaging someone? I mean really, it's not that difficult to do, either that or people just don't care. Seeing the messages I get it seems both. You want fuckmeat, move on I'm not it. I'm also sure as hell am not sharing my picture with anyone until I feel comfortable with you. I will also say again that this is the fastest way for me to ignore your messages and/or block you:  1. Clearly not reading my profile, I'll know if you are not from or around the location I stated, being right out disrespectful and thinking I'll actually want your "guidance" or be your "toy" when you couldn't take the time to look at my interest list or my limits which are all up to date.  2. Sending me pictures without asking me, this includes any kind of picture. If I want to see what you look like I will ask. Same with sending me a phone number or any other type of social media ID, if I want it I'll ask. 3. If you can't open a conversation with more than "Hi, how are you?" or just "Hi." Then I'm not interested, I like substance and if you can send a good opening message then I'll be more likely to wanna talk to you don't bother with anything half assed it just won't work.  4. You're profile and/or interest list is blank. I could understand if your proifle is brand new but if you've been on this site for more than a month I think you've had plenty of time to write and add in your interests. That helps me guage what kind of person you are. 

LOCALS ONLY is a joke In an our globalized world, the internet has revolutionized how people connect, particularly through Collarspace, an international dating platform. These platforms were created to bridge geographic divides and allow individuals from different countries and cultures to meet, communicate, and build meaningful relationships. However, a growing trend among users seeking "locals only" on these very platforms reflaspects a perplexing contradiction. Using a globally-focused platform with the intention of limiting interactions strictly to one's immediate geographic area not only defeats the platform's core purpose but also signals a misunderstanding of what international dating services offer. It also severely limits your dating prospaspects. Makes your already shallow dating pool even shallower. (Is that a word?) The "locals only" seeks fails to understand the primary purpose of international dating platforms. They are designed to connect people across borders—whether for cultural exchange, long-distance relationships, By default, they attract a diverse user base from around the world, all seeking the novelty and potential of meeting someone beyond their immediate environment. When a user signs up for such a platform and states a preference for "locals only," they are effectively asking the global system to act like a local one. This is akin to walking into a sushi restaurant and asking for a hamburger—not only does it miss the point, but it also disrespaspects the design and intention behind the service. Moreover, the "locals only" preference is better suited for traditional, region-specific dating apps and websites. Platforms like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or even regionally tailored apps are more efficient and practical for meeting people nearby. Choosing an international platform for a local search is an inefficient use of both time and technology. It can also lead to frustration, as the majority of the user base is likely to be from other countries, not your neighborhood. It's like booking a flight to attend a neighborhood block party—you've gone too far for something that was never meant to be a long-distance trip in the first place. There’s also an implicit irony in the behavior. Many who seek "locals only" on international platforms may be unaware of how it appears to others: confused, inconsistent, or even insincere. Are they open to new experiences, or are they using the wrong tool for the job? It can send mixed signals to other users, especially those who are genuinely interested in intercultural communication and international relationships. It also raises questions: Why not just use a local app? Why filter out the very thing that makes the platform valuable? This illogical contradiction can create an unwelcoming environment on what is meant to be an inclusive and borderless space. International dating platforms thrive on openness, diversity, and cross-cultural interaction. Narrowing the experience to only include people from one's immediate vicinity diminishes the richness of that diversity and may even alienate users who joined to explore love beyond borders. In conclusion, searching for "locals only" on an international dating platform is not only ironic but also counterproductive. It undercuts the very essence of what such platforms offer and sends a message that contradicts their foundational purpose. If one’s interest lies strictly in local dating, there are countless platforms better suited for that goal. But to truly benefit from an international dating experience, one must be open to the world—otherwise, what's the point of being on a global stage?

Created using the words from a conversation between Myself and a female Dom about who was a better dominant  . .   My books are the marks on your skin as I play   My dvds are your muscle twitches that dance   My music your sighs, and cries, as I touch with kisses of fire   That touch makes you lose your mind     My taunts change the weak girl into a strong sub   The glint in my eye fills you with an eagerness to please   For I am as constant, pure, cold and loving as a God.   I AM DOM   I am merciful, I give pain     These are the elements that inflame undreamt of submission   My domination transforms pain into devotion, into worship   The knowledge that you are owned burns to the core   I own, manipulate, crush and build.   I enrapture     I pry open your hidden self and give peace   I show the path and watch as you struggle to take it   I shall alight my lips on your skin and you will be reborn   I give you life afresh     Your history, your future, your now, all reside in ME   I give you freedom. You obey to belong  

Not Looking At All!                                                                                                                                                Just Friends                                                                                                                                                      Please Respect

Just your casual reminder that I am super hot, incredibly sensual, and highly addictive.  I am always eager for new toys in this forum.  The diversity of interests and minds and kinks and perversions never ceases to fascinate Me. The opportunity to nurture and guide and definitely control a willing soul is a treasure. If you are gender queer, broadly defined, and want to experience the gift of amusing Me, don't be shy.  Reach out.  I will take it from there and quickly have you addicted and wanting more.

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

The sun shining subtly on a sideof this sin is like a sound in my insidesthat shimmer with silence.Silence that strain to see the stars.And soon this season will shift away,and my sadness will slither southboundwith these strenuous sufferings.I may bask in the sun,but those stars sing my song.Someone may scoff at this small bird,but I dare souls to reveal their sub scrip tions.I might be seized in a straightjacketand my sex deprived, my song stolen,and my stimulation snuffed.But this sum is still greater than most dull lives.This is how a songbird thrives.But lo, this is no ordinary songbird.This is a phoenix, singing its pleasurebehind a mask of silence,and setting aflame her significancein favor for ashes.~ dirtydarling

Unknown I felt His finger touch my face. I wanted to tilt toward it, to nuzzle and feel more of Him, but He pulled away quickly. I resisted the urge to twist my head to see if I could feel Him still close, my focus soon turned to the sounds on my right. I could hear paper rustling and then a loud, metallic clank, followed by the sound of a lighter. The ensuing heat told me he'd started a fire in the fireplace and I squirmed a bit, hopefully not enough he could see. I had no idea what his intentions were but now things were getting hotter. I twitched when I felt him again. He was behind me, his hands guiding me to stand, and I did so nervously. Still no words, but I could feel him against my backside. I wanted to wriggle closer, I wanted so desperately to "know" him in more than just the words on a screen. I felt his breath on the edge of my ear and a soft whisper, "kathi, open your shirt, undo your bra and free those tits for Me." I gasped at the sound of his voice. It was just a whisper so I still really didn't know what he sounded like. His voice was so soft, barely audible, but I was intent on obeying. As my hands started to undo my buttons, he gently turned me so that the fireplace was no longer on my right, but behind me. And I felt that heat as he moved away. I swallowed hard wondering what he intended, wondering if I'd lost all commonsense. Yet, I still did as he said, my muscles in my cunt clenching without my conscious effort. My breathing deepened, and I could feel the slight sheen of sweat on my body as the heat continued to grow. My hands fell to my sides, my breasts exposed to him. I remembered him looking at the pictures I'd sent him and I wondered if the pictures held up to the real things. I heard him now in front of me, he'd been watching me reveal myself to him. The front of my body felt almost as warm as the backside was getting though it wasn't from the fireplace. His hands touched me again, this time, longer, cupping my face, sliding down my neck, slowly, sliding under my bra straps and blouse that still covered my shoulders, and running down my arms, the clothing fell away. He moved his hands to my heavy breasts, his fingers toying with my nipples that grew harder at his touch. They grew taut and pulled, I bit my bottom lip to keep from moaning, to keep from squirming. I still had no idea what his face looked like. I wondered if he approved, I wondered if he were smiling. His palms rubbed over my pale, soft skin of my breasts, cupping them, holding them. He pulled on a nipple, squeezed and tugged with one hand, his other hand still caressing the other breast. No words, just his hands, his fingers tracing the curves of my breasts and alternating with pinches and twists. He moved away and I broke from the trance his touch had created. I swallowed hard again and tried to gather my thoughts, tried to think of something other than my cunt. I didn't know this man, yet it didn't matter. I could hear the good angel telling me to be wary, the sound of the throbbing deep inside me blocking out her voice. I felt the rope begin to wrap around one breast, his hands back and caressing, guiding the rope tightly around one, the squeezing growing as the shape of my breast changed to be more round, more orb-like. It stood out, my nipple hardening to a point, then the other breast being wrapped. I could feel the sweat from the heat on my back running down my back now. I thought I could almost feel my wetness from my cunt meeting it, but I was still wearing my skirt, so perhaps that wasn't true. I couldn't tell. My heart was pounding, my clit was throbbing and I nothing but his toy at that moment. My breasts throbbed as the blood was forced into the constricted confines, his hands rubbing over them almost as though he were fascinated with how they looked. Then they were gone. I startled, the trance again broken but his hands were on my shoulders now, gently pressing me downward. I resumed the position I'd been in when he walked in, only now the fireplace was behind me. I heard the zipper on his pants and I knew what was next. I hoped I was right… He rubbed his cock against my face, and this time he let me nuzzle him. I got to feel him along my cheek, my lips. Somehow I knew that hands weren't permitted this time, just my mouth. He was giving me that chance to know him, to feel him, and I wasn't going to lose any time. His precum moistened my lips as I kissed and caressed his cap with my lips. I turned my head and ran my mouth along his hard shaft, my tongue delicately brushing over his skin, my own caresses mimicking those he'd given my breasts. The tip of my nose nuzzled under him as my lips explored his balls. Back to his cap, I parted my lips slightly and he pushed forward, my mouth opening wider to accommodate him, he began thrusting forward, slowly at first each forward movement going a bit deeper each time. His hands went to my hair and he pressed my face into him, he held me there and I inhaled his scent as I tried to breathe. When he had finished, when I had swallowed and licked him clean, his hand brushed against my cheek, then he helped me back to my feet. I rocked unsteadily and he drew close and kissed my lips, his tongue running over them, letting my tongue meet his for just a moment, then he pulled away. He slowly unwrapped the rope on my breasts, his fingers caressing again, easing the pain as the engorged orbs slowly turned back to the way they were before his arrival. Then, feeling him close again, he whispered… "next time…"

As usual , My inbox overflows.  There are many reasons why I may not reply to a message.  My time is limited. If I allowed it, responding to messages could be a full time job.  There have been plenty of times I have accidentally or internationally opened a message  and found I wanted to reply. However,  I  didn't have time at that moment.  Later to find the message was too far lost amongst the rest. Recently I strolled through the pages of messages and came across a very well written message  from a submissive  who seemed to have potential.   If you send Me a message which is not acceptable . One which does not show respect it will surely not get a kind reply if it gets a reply at all. If I was communicating with you and you did not comply with My demands you can assume I stopped communication.  If I was communicating with you and some time has lapsed there is a good chance your messages are lost in the masses.   If you want My attention write an amazing message to Me. Include a respectable,  recent, clear photo of yourself. Expect to share your email address and phone number if I ask for it. I will not text you.  I will not be sharing My phone number with you,  unless I decide to.    I  will only ask for your phone number if I wish to interview you further via phone. I use no apps, except whatsapp for international.    I am not here to serve you! I expect you come to Me to serve Me.

I found the start of this made a few changes... A partial list of subby duties we are looking for... - Able to laugh, giggle, roll eyes, face palm or any combination thereof to my horrible jokes and bad puns.- Have a personality and brain of her own and able to give an opinion, respectfully of course.- Help in my efforts and quest for world domination.- Be an appreciated, non-imaginary friend who just enjoys being around.- Have quirks and perhaps a bit of crazy in the right doses.- Puts up with snuggles while watching a movie-or any time.- Suck, but not in a bad way.- Put up with being protected and adored.- Be sweet and innocent but oh so dirty.- Can handle being used for sexual teasing and Sensual Domination.- Who cries sometimes when she’s happy- Is willing to do a strip tease to the song “Itsy Bitsy Spider” while doing all the motions.- Who appreciates that sometimes Master just needs physical release and you are there for that.- Suffer through a nice candle light meal full of conversation.- Enjoy new adventures.- Who celebrates Master’s enjoyment whether she is the source or not  - Understand, put up with and even enjoy a bit of sarcasm.- Will be slightly embarrassed when I open the door for her.- Enjoys getting dressed up, and dressed down for her Dom.- Can enjoy breakfast for dinner.- Able to stand having her neck kissed for no other reason then it was within reach. Oh there will be lots of service, duties, kinks and sex too, but We wanted to mention the really important things first. So if you still have an interest, send a message -- we'd enjoy talking to you.

Slippery Feet In the shower this morning, I became aware of the lack of feasibility of soaping the soles of my feet. I mean, slippery feet would lead inevitably to a crash. That is where a slave comes to service. Before the delightful tending to My feet with warm water, soap and oil; before the tongue worship; after the ritual request to speak; before the satisfying engagement of eye contact over My toes with the lapping slave as it concentrates with adoration on the removal any dirt and smudges that may be on the soles of My feet; comes the anticipation of pleasure at the sound of warm water being poured into the wash basin that will be used as I recline in comfort. The glance into the eyes on those times its eyes are visible as it labors up and down My soles when, in paroxysms devotion, it applies its tongue to the cleaning project. For Me, not infrequently, pleasure bordering on ecstasy. And so, after I grant permission for slave to humble itself and order a refreshment, I settle back in My recliner to wait in happy anticipation the humble slave, that has become devoid of self; that is self respect, self care, self concern, self aggrandizement certainly, and has become nothing other than an appliance for My pleasure to provide the ablution with exaggerated care to My feet. After it has finished the cleaning it will perform the permission to speak again, but, this time kissing a licking clean feet. Once I grant the honor of speaking to its better, it will express with emphatic enthusiasm gratitude for the opportunity to provide its Master with pleasure. Life as it should be. Master James

Embracing my slumber, I feel as though I'm in a dream  The softness of your caress, has me feeling so serene I want to open my eyes to make sure you are real  I will not venture, because I don't want to interrupt what I feel  The moisture begins to flow as my body loses control  You have me at this point and I will never say no  Relaxation and anxiety are about to collide  Multi orgasmic pleasure, I will never hide  WOW!

Results from bdsmtest.org 100% Dominant 100% Rigger 94% Master/Mistress 89% Owner 86% Sadist 84% Brat tamer 80% Degrader 73% Primal (Hunter) 53% Experimentalist 48% Voyeur 44% Vanilla 13% Daddy/Mommy 8% Exhibitionist 5% Non-monogamist 0% Ageplayer 0% Brat 0% Degradee 0% Boy/Girl 0% Masochist 0% Pet 0% Primal (Prey) 0% Rope bunny 0% Slave 0% Submissive 0% Switch

  ClaimedMy name, Emiko, which means prosperous, beautiful child, has not helped, not a bit. It’s been a bad year. At 23 years old, I got my own place, moved all my stuff and had finally left my parents’ home. This seemed like a big step towards independence, made less scary as my parents were still close by and I would need them less and less. Several months later there was a horrible crash. My parents ripped away instantly. Still, there was my boyfriend of many years who was soon to be my fiancé. He was there for me, helped me through much of the hardest stuff, supported me when I needed it most. Several months later, instead of proposing as was expected, he dumped me and not your nice dinner, its-not-you, blah, blah. No, he dump me by text. Still there was my dog. I had loved this dog from when I was 5 years old. He was always there to take care of me and watch over me even when the world was scary. Several months later, as he was now living in pain, it was time to let him go too but how could I? He was the last person who cared for me. I had to do right by him and let him go peacefully. Yeah, it’s been a bad year.On this particular Saturday morning, as I lay in bed trying to build enough motivation to get out, the feelings of being disconnected, isolated and alienated, of not belonging, were overwhelming. This is something that had been steadily building through the year but was reaching a fever pitch. Sometimes we get so detached from the world around us there's no way for us to reattach ourself. The only hope is for someone to find you who will grab on and pull you back. All my attachment points seem to have disappeared or broken. I was drifting free. I wanted so much for someone to reach out, pull me back and reattach me to this world.My thoughts went back to a harebrained scheme that had been rattling around my head for some time — just give myself to the first person who would have me. It was a fast, simple solution to a problem I did not know how to solve. You’re gonna think this is crazy mostly because it is crazy but that morning, crazy was all I had. This wasn’t the first time I thought about this idea. In fits of fancy, I had even planned it out. It was based on a story I read called ‘Halloween’. The woman in the story had put herself out there for someone to claim and someone claimed her. I bought a nice leather collar which also fit my thigh, a matching 8 foot leather strap you might call a leash but it was really a lead and, just because I wanted my intensions to be clear, I bought a garter that said, ‘CLAIM ME’ in inch and a half capitol letters. Baker Beach, you know, the one with the beautiful view of the Golden Gate Bridge, has a section where clothing is optional. I’d go there, strip down to just those three items, stand there and wait. My body is nothing special. I don’t have a lot of boob or a lot of anything. I’m a tiny asian woman; shocking in San Francisco. People say everyone loves a tiny asian woman. How could anyone resist a freely available, totally naked, tiny asian woman? Well, they all did.It was getting late into the afternoon and would start getting cold soon. My isolation was now complete. I stood there all day, buck naked, offering myself to anyone who would take me and no one had even stop by to ask. Then a man walked towards me. I saw him earlier when he was heading down the beach. He had looked in my direction for some time, then walked passed like everyone else. Now, as he got closer, he looked right at the garter and just smiled.Deep inside me, I was a bit disappointed. Looking back at that moment, my fast thinking said he was older than I want, not built the way I want, not dressed the way I want, and truthfully, not tall like I want. None of that mattered at this point. I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to be connected. I needed to be claimed. “If you want me to stop at anytime, say kangaroo. If you understand what I’m telling you, say banana.” It seemed like every emotion was passing through me at that moment. Fear and longing where the strongest. Longing won out.“Banana”He opened the lock on the collar, dropping the keys, both of them, in his pocket. I was already shaking a bit. He strapped it around my neck, not too tight, and secured it with the lock. He removed the garter then unwound the lead from my waist and clipped it to the collar. There were no thoughts in my head but a certain calm washed over me. “How long have you been standing here?”“All day”“Did you reapply your sunscreen? You’re starting to look a bit red.”“I didn’t.”“Do you have aloe or something like it.”Without thinking through what was about to happen, I said there’s aloe in my bag. He got the aloe, put some in his hands and started to apply it. My mind was racing. I froze. Something like this was obviously gonna happen if things went to plan but I had never really played the fantasy out this far so this came as a bit of a shock. He started with my legs. He was not shy, taking his time, being thorough but not gratuitously lingering. He went all the way to the top but didn’t explicitly touch my pussy just brushing it to get the whole leg. I realized my pussy was tingly, all of me was, and that I was probably really wet. He did my arms, my face and neck, my back including my hips and ass. He continued to be thorough but not gratuitous and that did not change when he did my front starting at the shoulders, then to the top of my chest then to my tits, my belly and then put his hand above my mons and went right down between my legs. I got a little dizzy. This random man who I’ve known for 7 minutes just locked a collar around my neck, applied lotion to my entire naked body and I was just tingling with delight. He asked me if I was comfortable coming to his place downtown; he’d order a car. I said yes; I said yes? but also mentioned my place was walking distance from here and we could go there. He said great. I told him the address. He handed me my bag and started walking with a solid gr on the lead. I followed not even thinking about the fact that I was being lead down the s

a throw back...then and now...how i talk about the spiritual dominant man and the slave woman referencing brooklyn baby in 2015 vs 2024. my writing and perspective growth   a bit not complete because the two service oriented and protection images i have shared back in 2015 cannot be added here due to the wonky layout of the site.   yes i've been writing about this for quite awhile on different platforms. i was going through my facebook where i first started writing this and trying to i don't know..gain some sort of dialogue, community, connection, recognition, semblance of back and forth over it back then and mostly stopping when i was met with silence and or resistance. nowadays i come to understand that my writings are more for me and while i'd love to find a community or people or to turn this into something more be ok if all that happens is it lands and holds a space on the sentience that is the internet! i wrote about my thoughts about brooklyn baby as the little girl and the daddy romantic power dynamic figure back in 2015.....somehow almost 10 years later i forgot about it.. and with my new lived spiritual, energetic, and cosmic awareness i recently wrote about it in 3-4 posts here. i asked my lovely chat assistant to compare and contrast...how do i approach the same lana del rey song  10 years ago vs now? what my writing style and my awareness used to be back then: "i was initially going to keep this on my fetlife side but after a request i am putting this on here too. dual post. talking about power dynamic stuffs, nothing sexually graphic but this is the okay with everything tag anyway so..ya know that'd be cool too .my vanilla friend on facebook posted a bunch of old 1950s ads which had of course a lot of natural male lead household media since that's how things were back then without options or visbilities of choice or other ways to live.   when i came across this one it made me a mix  of how cute, something i very much miss and one of those loss moments all into one.(first photo)this was the photo that stuck out the most to me. in both my  real life real time offline daddy/little girl relationships this was something that i frequently did and looked forward to doing on dates or as the first one when we eventually moved in together.it was comforting to have a routine to follow. to know what to expect was going to happen. it was safe and quieting for me to know that my man was safely allowing me to serve him in a way that was going to get rewarded, acknowledged, praised, and vauled for.it always goes back to this for me(second photo). added, i just found the full quote of where the second image takes its quote from..and it just fits what all of it was/what i wanted it to be/what i was hoping to get:"“I loved having a dad who was smarter than the New York Times, and I loved how my cheek could feel the hairs on his chest through his T-shirt, and how he always smelled like shaving, even at the end of the day. Being with him made my brain quiet. I didn't have to invent a thing.”― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"to find someone who makes me believe that they understand all of me and my crazy mentalness and the challeneges of my antisocial mom and all my brokenness and stays and commits to providing structure and care and rough brawns is just one of the biggest gifts in the world that could be given. and being able to care for them and thank them for the service and direction and guidance they provide is easy. is comforting and nice. with my first daddy parts of this translated into getting him his diet coke in the morning, picking out clothes for him, and getting his english muffin heated and buttered before he leaves for work. usually it invovled a kiss goodbye as well. i did this until he told me he no longer felt able or willing or wanting to be a daddy to me and he wanted us to be equals. after that i did it off and things just pretty much started to crumble after that...but while that was a standard for the 3 years we lived together i never felt obligated to...when i was sick he would do so. if i was late or off i would do what i could.  but i never felt obligated or had to or that it was out of my way to do so.with my last ex we never got to the point of living together. instead when i would go over to his house or i would rent hotels for us i would help him get dressed and i would usually buy him something to drink or some sort of item for breakfast. getting my daddy all set for his day was a big honor and fufilling feeling that i had. it was one of the top 5 things that felt right and complete for me.in return usually as with my first one he would help provide a chunk of the income to help take care of us and while i wanted to work full time i didn't find any full time work while we were togehter except the first few months of us being together. i would get tenderness and emotional care and consideration and gentle leading i never had. what i got in exchange just felt right.and in the further discussion of this and the ability of choice now my friend pointed out in regards to the times back then, 'wouldn't want to be frumpy' and thank goodness we don't have to be dressed up at all times.over the years i've changed and grown into being more femme with my outer apperance and playing with makeup. with my first daddy i didn't have that many clothes....but i did like dressing up for him. and with my last one of the things that just made all of my heart soar along with my little girl's heart and core was for him to take the time to commit to dressing me every day.this actually didn't work out because he started slacking and saying for me to just pick after he committed to it..one of the many signs...of course...but it went back to the safe contained space for mea safe contained space of my worthy man being able to take the time, energy, and effort to tell me how he'd like me to look like for the day.  the addition of no surprises and routine and knowing at all times i am to his pleasing. it was an intimate thing to be taken in and looked at and appreciated and fawned over for being such an addorble femme being. and one that was held and cherished and well cared for and taken like a prized possession. at least the idea that this was happening was. none of it was deameaning or a bother. i always had energy to get dressed up or to do what i can to help out. these are some of the things i miss the most and grieve over losing forever.funny how small little things bring  up things like this.i'm not sure why..but this song brooklyn baby by lana del rey really  fits the mood i'm expressing here. especially the vocal sound of it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5xcnjAG8pE" i got a really sweet comment from someone that i'll anonymous share. it was the only comment i got from it, but on facebook back then pretty shocking i would've gotten any at all with a concept that radical back then. "J - I'm speechless. That was an incredibly powerful and beautifully written post! Truly! Thank you for sharing it here. All I can think of to say is that you are a very fine human being...and whomever you spend time with, they are LUCKY and fortunate to have found YOU. You are such a smart, beautiful and gifted soul. It's an honor to be your friend, my dear! ❤

Ok, I have an idea. There is still many kinks in it but here is the basic idea. I think that minimum wage should be 15.00 an hour, at 40 hours per week that is 600 per week, at 52 weeks in a year that is 31,200 a year. Ok so now lets say that every person who is retired and not making that amount, well they should have their retirement increased to that. After all that is the cost to live according to the left. Same for any ADULT on disability. I will explain later why I said ADULT. Now for those who are working but not getting 40 hours a week or 15.00 an hour..ok we will subsidize their income with cash or food stamps or any combination of the two. HOWEVER, they must work some how for the government to get it. They can pick up trash, help paint lines on the side walks, work in places that are short handed because well the government really cannot afford to hire more people.. but if people that were already getting money from the government for doing nothing could fill in that would be awesome right??? We all get health care, not driven by insurance companies or by drug companies or by medical supply companies but by Drs alone. There is a set amount the goverment will pay for each drug, or test and no more. That stops what is going on now where drug companies can hike the price for no reason. Oh, in the health care, that needs to include dental, vision, mental health outside of the hospital, physical therapy, any thing else like chiropractor as well, all of that should be included. Want to have 4 kids, sure, but you do not get any more money for having them. Just your 600 per week that is it. You still have to work, do not worry about day care, that will be covered by the government. How you say, easy, that is one of the jobs those who do not have jobs can do. 24 hour day care so people can work jobs any time day or night and have child care. Now you are wondering why I did not include children on the disability, well personally the parents should not get a pay check just because their child was born with a disability. HOWEVER before you all go off pissed off, the child should get all medical care needed, things like wheel chairs, teachers and all of that, but more money for food or clothes and the likes, nope that is no different then any other kid. Ohh and just to let you know.. I have a sister who was born with Downs, my parents never got money for her. Now she is an adult, so now she should get the same standard of living that the rest of us should have. Ohhh I forgot the most important thing. Since this 600 per week is what I think is needed to live off of, then anyone making under 600 a week should have to pay any form of income tax, no federal, no state and no local.

NO male doms = In case folks on here have forgotten I am solely interested in Slaves and Submissives so only reply to that demographic.  Club Pedestal , Cruel Huntress Hunt and Club o&I in Kent are the three fetish venues I talk to Dominant Women as well. The Mawney munch I talk to everyone with good manners who are pleasant to laugh with for the evening.  All Goals Done = I have had a week where I planned to ease up my workload. Key pieces are now complete so I will take my week end a little slower. SERVICE SUBS = Today is cooler so I may think about opening up applications for service subs to cut my lawn - though a first few meets at the Mawney are key prior to me accepting that person.

Once Upon a Time....                 /\     /\                {  `---'  }                {  O   O  }                ~~>  V  <~~                 \  \|/  /                  `-----'____                  /     \    \_                 {       }\  )_\_   _                 |  \_/  |/ /  \_\_/ )                  \__/  /(_/     \__/                    (__/

Oh Sir, your bitch is waiting for you to grab me by my pussy hair and push me onto the bed You tie my hands over my head, put a spreader bar between my legs and then wisper in my ear, how dare you come to me with all this here My bitch is hairless you hear me You pull out your shaver and take off my hair, spanking my clit and pussy as you go Mmmmm When you are done you go into the bathroom and get a soapy washcloth You rub and scrub my lips and pussy You dirty bitch as you flip me onto my belly trying to decide which hole youll shove your big hard almost still cock You spank me first with a wooden paddle that I actually brought zwith me Ill show you who your Master is bitch You grab the back of d hair as you climb on top of me shoving yor dick into me hard I cry out    M  

Some of my messages are getting redundant - so I'll post answers to my commonly asked questions here - My bra size is 38G or 38DDDD - a 38G and 38DDDD are the same size - depends on manufacturer which way they choose to list it.  Yes. I like pain. It's one of the many aspects of BDSM that I enjoy. Despite the photos, and despite the fact that I have had a fair amount of experience with impact play and corporal punishment, I do not have a lot of experience with extreme pain.   I'm located in metro-Atlanta, specifically Marietta. No - I am not willing or able to relocate. No I am not interested in long-distance / virtual to start with Dom re-locating if we are good match. I am not equipped for virtual submission. I don't have any children and do not want to have any children at this stage of my life.  I am willing to be friends with couples but I do not want to serve a couple or become a subsister to your wife or existing submissive or slave.  Hope this helps. 

For fuck's sake, guys. It is truly pitiable how few of you bother to do anything at all to learn about the reality of your own desires. There are non-fiction books, blogs, sites, videos, discussions, munches, classes, seminars, demos, and events all over the place, if you look up from the porn and erotica and think with the upper head. It is nobody elses responsibilty to teach you. Dominant women are NOT automatic teachers of all the stuff. How do you think WE learn it? I've read a whole 3 profiles this evening. This is why I don't bother to read more. They are ignorant, porn-fed, and say nothing of interest. Dominants do not "mold" you into a different person. Daily life in a D/s relationship in the real world without payment living together on a daily basis looks pretty much the same as any other relationship. It is not a constant kinky scene. Most subs wear the same old clothes, do the same old stuff, have the same old hobbies. Their partner is in charge for whatever they have agreed to, but that isn't a constant visible porn scene. A dominant does not live for inspections and demands. It means he asks if a casserole is okay for dinner, and if she says no, he finds something else. It does NOT mean she is standing over him in a corset inspecting his shopping list with a crop in her hand. It doesn't mean you spend your days cringing and hoping every tiny detail is correct. That's erotica. Learn the difference. No, submissive men do not look or act any different than any other men. There is absolutely no need to make a point of how normal you are in public. Subs are ALL normal appearing people. Because that is what they are. Normal people who happen to prefer their partner being in charge. You are not alpha special super sub because you do not crawl in public or do have solid boundaries or do not have social anxiety. None of those things are submissive. You are just another guy. Get over it. And no, if you have social anxiety, insecurities, poor personal boundaries, or any other personal issue, submission will not fix it. Dominants are not gurus, not life coaches, not therapists, and are not out here looking for projaspects. Submission just means you do things her way. That does not make all your problems go away, and a dominant is no more interested in taking on a project and trying to fix some guy than any other woman. Your life, your personality, your issues, as well as your other qualities, are yours to deal with. That does not change because of a relationship. If you want kinky play, that's great. Have fun! Go meet a network of kinky play friends and go for it! But do NOT call yourself a slave and pretend you want an FLR. That is not what that means.

Quite often, I see profiles that list Weight as " 80 lbs" or "60 lbs" when they clearly mean kilograms. So either 1) They are correctly entering 60 kg but it's displaying as "60 lbs" anyway, a software error 2) Or really that huge a number of people keep making the same mistake and don't bother to select Kg when they mean it. Or a mixture of these two. Either way, sad, and ideally something that would be fixed (software) and/or improved (care in selecting) However, while I won't remember how this website was 8 yeras ago, I'm not sure I recall ever, in recent memory any "kg" weight from anyone, even in the UK. So the "kg" isn't displaying when it should, it seems. So someone picks "60 kg" and the rest of us see "60 lbs" or at least we do if we use lbs ourselves. That's not how things should work... But how lovely they fixed the Journals so we can share thoughts like the above! ;-)  

I don't like them innocent I don't want no face fresh Want them wearing leather Begging, let me be your taste test I like the sad eyes, bad guys Mouth full of white lies Kiss me in the corridor But quick to tell me goodbye You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul you used to be? You're a Rolling Stone boy Never sleep alone boy Got a million numbers And they're filling up your phone, boy I'm off the deep end, sleeping All night through the weekend Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be I'm searching for something that I can't reach My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be Ghost by Halsey (it's a song)

Seller accepted everything I wanted.. Down to the last details. In underwriting and waiting for a closing date. This limbo has been emotionally draining. I have clients who are sticking by me, wondering if they have one more appt. , or am I leaving. It seems it will be soon, just don't know when.   I have all sorts of emotions.  I'm feeling  so ambivalent  and anxious. I'm stepping so far out of my comfort zone.  I will know noone, will have to learn a whole new area. Grow a circle of new friends, find doctors, dentists, car maintenance, vet, etc etc. I will be setting a cottage for my dad, finding a caretaker for the weekends, and setting up braille lessons for him. There will be much to do, packing, loading moving, unloading unpacking, arranging. On top of this , I'll be going into growing season, which means I will have a lawn on top of landscaping and gardening !  What was I thinking? I'm not 30 😆 I'm  going to miss many of my clients,  they have become special to me.  My friends  too ! The comfort of familiarity and confidence in my knowledge of my area.  I'm a native to my part of the state. I will not miss the politics of the DC area. I've watched it become so contentious and intolerant. I'm so sick of the constant drum beat of pernicious propaganda.             

After talking with someone on here recently I've done a lot of thinking about my desire to submit and be bound. I had never really thought about how long I've felt that way or why. Looking back on my teen years I think I've always had a fascination with restraint. My first sexual dream revolved around me getting "caught" and bound up. Looking back I have a few memories where even when I was younger there was something about being restrained that appealed to me. Now, as an adult, I think my feelings now are rooted in my desire to be helpless. I'm fortunate enough to have had a safe life, and I've never been in a bad scenario where I was in significant danger, and I suspect that may have something to do with it. Regardless, I think my root desire is to be helpless, forced to trust another person and do what they say. Something about giving into that power and giving up total control is what I really want. i don't know fully, just been thinking about it recently and these are my first thoughts. Thanks everyone for teaching me more and helping me explore these feelings!

Another day, another thought... It is a hot one in NYC - 92 degrees F/33 degrees C. Surely there needs to be some ice cream. As the owner savours hers under the shade of the umbrella on the lounge chair. The near naked pet dutifully eats its share from her feet. She is in a breezy tube top summer dress with tropical print. It is only wearing metal cuffs around its wrists and ankles, a collar that connaspects to a anal hook, and a cock cage with chains tethered to the owner's lounge chair. It is licking and sucking fast to make sure that not one bit of that ice cream runs off of the owner's white polished toes or small feet as the consequences of wasting the owner's kindness will be dire. Then... Wouldn't you like to know. ;-) 

Jesus's love for you is so deep as that of a father and child and so intimate as that of a husband and wife. Jesus and the angels celebrate you turning to him. Like that of a dear friend coming back, more missed than they had realized. Give him your burdens he will sustain you. He will not let the righteous be moved. He is nurturing and practical. He is like a supportive parent, a supportive lover. He is fair, trustworthy, and gives you clarity not impartially but fully. Be fearless and have the courage to pursue a relationship with Jesus Christ. It's a journey, through all the valleys and mountain peaks but he is faithful to never leave you. He carries you. He strengthens you. He cares for you. He sees you. He hears you. Some things happen quickly and some things require time. Perhaps time to build your character. Build your endurance. Build your spirit. Build your patience. Build your wisdom. Some things are not meant to break you but to make you so strong and unrecognizable to your old self. Even in the dark there is a light and the light has not been overcome by the darkness. It cannot be. 

Let us play the Let's Pretend game.  (I love the Let's Pretend game!)   Let's pretend that the people typing these profiles and journals and adding pictures and stuff are REAL PEOPLE.  Yup, that might be a bigger ask than is possible.  But let's pretend that is the truth.  It certainly must be for some of us, yes?   Let's further pretend that those who can be defined as real people have been on this site or the predecessor for a while.  Some might have met someone and then UNmet that someone and are back.  Some of those are people who come here lurking but never connecting.  Let's even pretend that some people here are downright serious about all of this but are just having problems connecting with someone they feel is truly compatible.   At the end of the day, however, there is something that we cannot pretend about.  Those of us who are, are real people, with real feelings, and real ambition to eventually find what we want so we don't have to be here any more.  Please take some time to consider others.  Show some respect.  Don't make assumptions about who we are or why we are here.  It can be hard enough without the background noise.   None of us are perfect, and we all have one or two or dozens of flaws.  There is no pretending in the world that can make that not true.  We also have preferences.  Those preferences might very well exclude some these same people who are trying so hard to be right for SOMEONE.  I cannot ask anyone to turn their back on their beliefs or their flaws or their preferences, but what I CAN ask is that we show some kindness, some human dignity.  If anything from the past few years should have taught us is that not only are there trolls online, but many of them started being trolls in real life as well.  People have learned how not to be their best selves.   Be kind.  Be friendly.  MAYBE pretend to think outside the box a little bit.  MAYBE be a little more inclusive, or forgiving those flaws in others that seemed intolerable to you yesterday.  Make someone happy.   I don't want to be the last one here.  Do you?

Accuse me of having no manners. If you do, OI laugh at you. I have responded to many profiles out here over the many years and 9 out of 10 don't get a reply.  I basically say hi, mention a little about me, sometimes I mention they should read my profile, I ask questions. The other 1 out of 10 that do repley, usually seem to continue a back and forth in exchanging messages but whemn I bring up maybe meeting sometime or doing a chat online or something more interactive than sending the equivalent of email messages, people go silent. FRAUDS! That what this place chuck full of. I doubt anybody meets anyone anymore from this site in person. It is all fun and games and killing time and not being serious about meeting anyone. .

A frenulum (or frenum) is a small fold or band of tissue that connects one part of your body to another, restricting its range of motion. The term is most commonly used to describe tissues in the mouth or the penis. Types of Frenulums Mouth (Oral): These connect your lips and cheeks to your gums. A common oral frenulum is the lingual frenulum, which connects the underside of your tongue to the floor of your mouth. If this band is too tight or extends too far to the tip of the tongue, it restricts movement, a condition known as "tongue-tie" (ankyloglossia). Penis: The penile frenulum is a small, elastic strip of skin on the underside of the penis that connects the foreskin to the head (glans). It helps guide the foreskin over the head during an erection and is highly sensitive.

A submissives roles and responsibilities    1. Loyalty. Above All Else loyalty. It should be in the background in any given situation   2. Submission I am a submissive at heart. Though I would like to point out that you should view me as a dog. A dog that has been out in the wild too long and acts like a wolf. I am actually an infj. But how I interact with the world and how I feel are two different things. I decided a long long time ago that the world was out to destroy me and if I didn't stand up for myself nobody would. So while you read my works I'm sure that you will be scratching your head like is he a submissive? Yes I am. I just I Know Myself worth I know that I am valuable. And I'm not stupid. Which means I'm not going to throw that value away for nothing. For the right Dom submission is a joy and pleasure. Control, dominance, possessiveness, and submission leads me dripping in ecstasy. All I want is to submit to a good Dom.   3. Sexual access- this means having sex sometimes when you're not in the mood. It baffles me that people get into relationships that become sexless and then they stay in them. I just don't understand. I mean I totally get you know two tops or two bottoms being together because they love each other and enjoy each other they just don't have sex together they bring in third parties to do that. I totally get that. But letting resentment grow and letting your body go and that turning into a relationship that is negative energy essentially is just crazy. Which is why the selection process is so important and is why you have to have a good overall vision for what your partner should bring to the table. And once you know what your partner needs to bring to the table you can get an idea of what you need to bring to the table.   4. Bringing peace into his life - so there's this huge list in boxes to check for him to be even considered. So what do I bring to the table. In a sub Dom relationship and I would say even in a vanilla relationship bringing peace into his life is the most important thing you can do aside from loyalty. So what does it mean to bring peace into his life? This could be simple to complicate it. So let us keep to vanilla examples so it doesn't get too dirty. So let's say it's Sunday it's game day hooray. And he just wants to watch the game. What am I to do? The house should be clean. One of his favorite meals should be cooked and served to him without question or complaint. And then while he's enjoying his meal I will make sure to sexually gratify him in whatever way I know most pleases him. And when it's over there will only be a couple words of love and affirmation and I will let him enjoy his day. Or it could be even more simple. You need to be able to read and understand him. Did he have a bad day? Is now the time to bring up a repair that needs to be done to the house that you cannot handle. What about that thing that's been bothering you should we talk about it now? It's knowing when he needs to feel like a man and enabling that. It's reading him and knowing when you need to be super duper submissive the tickle his fancies. Giving peace into his life is an individualistic thing and I cannot list What specifically I would do because we are talking in generalities. But let me give you one more vanilla example but I still think it is a good one. So I view it as my responsibility to every morning wake up and give my job the best blowjob I can. And while this is sexual gratification that is not what it's about. It is not such a lowbrow thought as I give my man sex therefore I have them on lockdown that's fucking stupid. No it is about giving him a clean mind before he starts his day. It is me exercising my devotion and submission to him affirming to him he is my king I am his and I have his kingdom on lockdown. And doing this will enable my Champion to go off and fight his battles of the day because he has a reason to win. Me.   5. Keeping his kingdom in order- this is a mundane and boring responsibility. But it is essential. The house should be spotless. Taxes, insurance, appointments, minor house repairs, auto repairs and maintenance, and all the other little s*** that you have to take care of in this world is my responsibility. So that once again he can focus at succeeding at whatever Endeavor he is engaged with.   6. Someone to spar with- depending on the Dom or the partner someone to spare with can be essential. Someone who has a different point of view and a different way of looking at things. Someone who can challenge you who can play The Devil's Advocate. Without somebody to challenge you and your ideas you won't be thinking much so if you're set in your ways and do not want to hear other people's opinions or ideas I am probably not the right match for you.

Doors, and the Men Brave Enough to Open Them I need to talk about housing, because the situation has moved from inconvenient to urgent and I have never been the kind of woman who dresses up an uncomfortable truth to make it easier to look at. The burglary destabilized something that was already fragile. The particular violation of having your home invaded, the way it changes the quality of the air in a space you were supposed to feel safe in, has made staying where I am feel increasingly untenable. And so I have been doing what practical women do: looking at options, running numbers, weighing what is available against what I actually need, and arriving repeatedly at the same frustrating conclusion. The budget and the requirement do not currently overlap in the way I need them to. Chicago is not a forgiving market. What I can afford and what my children deserve and what my own standards require form a very specific Venn diagram with a smaller center than I would like. I am not defeated by this. But I am frustrated, genuinely and specifically, in the way that only financial limitation frustrates a woman who knows exactly what she should have and cannot yet reach it. And so I find myself thinking about a different kind of solution. One that lives not in the listings I scroll through late at night but in the framework of the life I am actually trying to build. The truest forms of submission are not always the ones that happen on a marble floor or at the end of a leash at a Renaissance faire. Sometimes the truest form of submission is a man who looks at the woman he serves and says: my home is yours. Come and make it what it should be. Let me provide the foundation and trust you completely with everything built on top of it. That is what I am thinking about. A sub who opens his doors is offering something more profound than service in the conventional sense. He is offering sovereignty. He is saying: I trust your vision, your standards, your taste, your authority over the space we will share, completely and without reservation. He is handing over not just his time and his attention but the most intimate expression of his daily life, the home he lives in, and inviting a woman of genuine authority to take it in hand and make it into something neither of them could produce alone. I think about what that would look like in practice, and it looks like this: I come home from work and from school and from the particular exhaustion of a life I carry with full commitment, and I come home to a space that has been held in my absence with the same care I would give it myself. The children are received. Dinner exists. The household has been managed not because I directed every step but because the man inside it has internalized my standards deeply enough that my presence or absence changes nothing about the quality of the result. The home runs on my vision and his execution and the collaboration between those two things produces something genuinely beautiful. I would be the homemaker in the truest sense: the one who makes the home what it is, whose taste and authority and presence defines the atmosphere and the culture of the space, while still working and studying and mothering and building the future I have mapped out so precisely. Not because I need someone to fund me into passivity, that is not who I am and never will be, but because the domestic load distributed correctly, between a woman who knows what she wants her home to be and a man who has made producing that his devoted purpose, is what allows both people to function at their highest level. This is not a fantasy of convenience. This is the framework. This is what the life I have described across every entry in this space actually requires to function. The architecture of everything I am building has this at its foundation: a shared home, governed by my standards, maintained by his devotion, built around my children's stability and my own restoration and the slow and serious construction of a future that looks like what I deserve. The man who offers his door is not losing anything. He is gaining the most clarifying thing available to someone like him: a woman who knows exactly what to do with the space he has been living in alone, waiting without quite knowing what he was waiting for. I am not difficult to house. I am specific. There is a difference. I know what I am looking for. I know it exists. And I am, as always, building toward it whether or not it has arrived yet.   It will.

I take pleasure in the details others miss. The subtle shifts in posture, the way hesitation creeps into speech, the quiet tremor in anticipation—these are my playgrounds. I am not loud; I am deliberate. Each command, each touch, each calculated pause is designed to bend will and sharpen obedience. Sadism is my craft. I derive satisfaction from controlled discomfort, from the tension that builds when anticipation meets consequence. My discipline is precise; my rewards, rare but unforgettable. Those under my guidance learn quickly that pleasure and pain are entwined, that obedience earns more than praise—it earns my approval, my attention, my game. I do not need to dominate every moment to dominate fully. Silence, observation, and a single deliberate action carry more weight than chaos ever could. My presence alone is authority, my judgment absolute. I seek those who crave structure, who understand that submission is a gift to be earned, not assumed. If you are willing to surrender, to test your limits under watchful eyes, you may find yourself shaped by hands and mind that do not falter, and you may discover how deep obedience can go.  

Be Available! Here is why I stress that potential online submissive men be single--meaning you should not be married or partnered or attached in any way:    I am not interested in competing for attention with this partner or spouse, nor am I interested in being their stand-in for a sexless relationship or otherwise help you sneak around behind their back. I do not intend to be held responsible should you be caught. And anyway, how can you truly be made mine if you belong to someone else?    Here is also why I make clear that you should be living alone--meaning you are the only one who resides in the house with no roommates or tenants (or partner or spouse):    If you feel the need to hide because you believe they would not understand, how can you freely behave in service to me? It would also mean never-ending waiting on my end until you were alone. Sure, you may have a job or may have an errand come up but at least when at home, you are able to freely behave according to your true nature (and my instructions).    Finally, here is why you being constantly busy or engaged will not work in my favor: Like the above two examples, it would hinder your availability and performance. I understand if you had a job that lasted from nine to five, but if the work (or any other activities) keeps you away for entire days, that does not make for satisfying service or effective communication (my tutelage and control). And I have done enough waiting.    At the end of the day, this is taking place between Me and you; the nature of the dynamic requires you to be at my beck and call as well as your undivided attention.    How can you make yourself useful to me if you are always hurting for time?    How can constant supervision be possible if you are hardly even there?    How would this respect my own time and energy?    I may have patience but only up to a certain point, especially if you’re screwing around and wasting time.

On Being Felled, Temporarily   I have been absent. Those of you who follow closely will have noticed the silence and drawn your own conclusions. The conclusion is this: my body staged one of its more dramatic rebellions in the form of a kidney infection serious enough to take me entirely off the board for the better part of two weeks. I do not get sick quietly or briefly, apparently. When I go down I go down with the full commitment I bring to everything, which I would find more admirable if it were not so thoroughly inconvenient. I am on the other side of it now, or near enough to be upright and writing, which I am choosing to count as a victory. While I was ill, someone broke into my home. I want to let that sit for a moment because I am still sitting with it myself. I was sick, my children were unsettled, and someone decided that was an acceptable time to violate the space where my family lives and take what did not belong to them. They took the children's gaming system, which in the grand accounting of what could have been lost is not the worst possible outcome, and I know this, and I have said this to myself many times. It does not make my children's faces easier to look at. The specific devastation of a preteen who has had something taken, not misplaced, not broken accidentally, but deliberately stolen from their home, from the place that is supposed to be safe, is its own particular kind of heartbreak to witness as a mother. They were crushed. I was furious on their behalf in the way that only a mother's fury operates, which is to say completely and with no available outlet. I handled it alone. As I handle everything. And this is where I find myself needing to say something I do not say easily, which is that my resilience, that quality I have always counted on, felt genuinely shaken this past week. Not broken. I want to be precise about that because I will not be imprecise about myself even when honesty is uncomfortable. Not broken. But shaken in the way that a foundation shakes when too many things hit it simultaneously, the illness and the violation and the children's hurt and the daily weight of a life I carry without assistance, all of it arriving at once while my body was already at its limit. I had hoped, by now, to be in a different chapter. I had hoped, genuinely and specifically, to be in conversations about sharing a home with someone actually prepared to show up for this life. Someone whose service was not theoretical, not a future intention, not a beautiful idea that dissolves on contact with the reality of what showing up actually requires. Someone who would have been here during a kidney infection that left me barely functional. Someone whose presence would have meant my children came home from school to a stable and managed household rather than to a mother running on empty and a space that had been violated. That person does not currently exist in my life, and the disappointment of that is not small. It is not something I can dress up into acceptance without first acknowledging that it is a genuine and specific grief. I built a vision. I know what I deserve. I know what this dynamic looks like when it is real and functional and inhabited by someone with actual capability and actual commitment. The gap between that knowledge and my current reality is something I feel most acutely on the weeks that ask the most of me. I am resilient. I will return to myself completely, as I always do. But this week the crown was heavy. I wanted to tell you that honestly, because this space has always been about the full truth of this life, not only its beauty.   More soon. I am still here. I am still unserved. I am still waiting and wanting. 

Scene Debriefing: The Conversation Too Many People Skip By T.L. Duncan When people think about a BDSM scene, they usually picture the negotiation beforehand, the scene itself, and perhaps the aftercare that follows. Those are all essential pieces of a healthy dynamic, and each deserves the attention it receives. But there is another part of the process that often gets overlooked. The conversation afterward. Not the quick "Are you okay?" while sharing a blanket. Not the casual "That was fun." I'm talking about a thoughtful discussion once everyone has had time to settle, reflect, and process what happened. This conversation is known as a scene debrief, and it may be one of the most valuable tools for building trust, improving communication, and strengthening future scenes. Whether you're new to BDSM or have years of experience, making time to debrief can change the way you approach your dynamic. What Is a Scene Debrief? A scene debrief is simply a conversation about the scene after it has ended. Unlike negotiation, which happens before play, a debrief looks backward rather than forward. Its purpose isn't to assign blame or critique performance. Instead, it gives everyone involved an opportunity to discuss what worked well, what didn't, what was learned, and what might be adjusted in the future. Think of it less as an evaluation and more as a conversation between partners who share the same goal: creating enjoyable, fulfilling, and safe experiences together. No one benefits from pretending every scene was perfect. Likewise, no one benefits from believing every small mistake means the scene failed. Growth happens somewhere in the middle. Why Debriefing Matters During a scene, your attention is focused on the present. Dominants are often balancing communication, safety, pacing, technique, and the emotional state of their partner. Submissives may be deeply immersed in the experience, focused on following instructions, processing sensations, or remaining mentally present. Neither person is analyzing every moment while it's happening. Adrenaline, endorphins, excitement, and emotional intensity can make it difficult to fully recognize what you're experiencing until afterward. A scene debrief allows everyone to slow down. Sometimes you'll discover that your favorite moment wasn't the one you expected. Sometimes you'll realize a particular technique didn't produce the desired response. Sometimes you'll discover that something you worried about wasn't an issue at all. Every one of those discoveries becomes valuable information for your next scene. Aftercare and Debriefing Are Not the Same Thing Many people confuse aftercare with debriefing, but they serve different purposes. Aftercare focuses on recovery. It helps partners transition out of the emotional and physical intensity of a scene. That may involve cuddling, water, food, blankets, reassurance, quiet conversation, or simply sitting together while emotions settle. A debrief happens after everyone has regained their footing. Some couples naturally begin discussing the scene during aftercare. Others find they communicate more clearly the next morning after a full night's sleep. Neither approach is wrong. The important part is recognizing that emotional recovery and thoughtful reflection are different conversations. One nurtures the body and emotions. The other strengthens communication. Questions That Lead to Better Scenes A productive debrief doesn't require a checklist, but asking thoughtful questions can keep the conversation focused. Consider discussing topics such as: Which part of the scene felt the most enjoyable? Did anything surprise you? Was there a moment when communication could have been clearer? Did anything become uncomfortable sooner than expected? Did you feel safe throughout the scene? Was the pacing too fast, too slow, or just right? Did aftercare meet your needs? Is there something you'd like to experience differently next time? Notice that these questions are open-ended. They're invitations to share experiences, not opportunities to defend decisions. Sometimes the answers will confirm that everything went exactly as planned. Other times they may reveal something neither partner noticed during the scene itself. Both outcomes are equally valuable. Feedback Is Not Failure One of the biggest obstacles to meaningful debriefing is the fear that constructive feedback means someone did something wrong. It doesn't. Every skill improves through communication. No one expaspects a musician to stop practicing after one successful performance. No one expaspects an athlete to stop reviewing their technique after winning a competition. Healthy BDSM relationships are no different. Receiving feedback doesn't diminish your abilities. It expands them. Likewise, offering honest feedback isn't criticism when it's given respectfully. Saying, "I think I needed more reassurance afterward," isn't an accusation. Saying, "That restraint became uncomfortable after a while," isn't placing blame. It's sharing information that allows both partners to make future scenes even better. The strongest dynamics are built by people who remain curious rather than defensive. A Word for Dominants Many Dominants invest considerable time planning a scene. They research techniques. They prepare equipment. They think through pacing, safety, atmosphere, and emotional progression. Once the scene begins, they're often responsible for monitoring both the practical and emotiona

Today is a bad pain day.  Physcially, emotionally and mentally.   i am beyond thankful i work from home and do not need to face the world, aside from a visit to my parents house this evening for dinner.  Agoraphobia can be crippling and the very thought of stepping a toe outside of my "safe zones" is enough to throw me into a panic.  With my extremely high blood pressure and resting heart rate, i need to do all i can do keep myself calm.  The last thing needed to add to the litany of issues is a stroke.   On a happy not i found an adorable notebook and metallic pens (my glitter ones died...sad) to keep track of my daily blood pressure readings, and soon to be mood and food intake.   Daddy said He is so proud that i am finally working on fixing me.  the body parts are easy.  it's the mental part that scares me.  i truly do not know if i am ready to face my damage.  i hope i find a really good therapist that doesn't mind if a stuffy or two come along on my appointments...  

It's been a few years since I was involved in a play party that was worthy sharing. I do live the slave life 24/7 and serve Master James and Mistress Tabitha. With that said the basic flogging, domestic service, run of the mill slave life isn't usually something to write about. Especially when you have been owneed for just over nine years.With that said, I have been commanded to share last  nights play with you.For the first time the BDSM group was invited over to play with me in a new way. The group consists of six Master slave couple and our threesome. All were present.Last night the atendees participated in using me for electricity and pain games.I was tied sprerad eagle in the barn. Standing with my wrists up high and wide over my head. The first game was a two litre enema, I was told to hold it for 30  seconds and there wouuld be no punishment for releasing it at that time. But if I failed I had to take a dop of tobasco on my tongue and thern on my clit. Now, I recieve two litre ebnemas often so this shouildn't be an issue. I take the enema, stand in the middle of the barn and four of the guests put magic wands on my mmost sensative areas. My body jerks but I manage to hold on.10 minutes after I complete my task another enema and this time nine volt batteries with exposed wires are used. As the guests spit on my nippels and cunnie to moisten me before I am zapped I know it's going to be hard to acomplish. I lasted 28 seconds. Instantly a drop of Tobasco is applied to my tongue and clit. I am told to swallow.It's a little hot but nothind serious. I do ok.Next I'm told the my punishment will be a drop of Carolina Reaper on my tongue and clit. Again the enema, this time four commerecial tens units are attached to my breasts and labia, but there is one exception, one of the guests puts a tens pad above and below my belly buton. The shock was horrific and I lasted mere seconds. The carolina reaper sauce set everything on fire. It was hell. It took me almost fourty five minutes to recover.Then came the last test. The last test, was actyually just to  torture me as there was no way in hell anyone could succeed at this point. One o my sister slaves from another Master adminiistered the enema, but this time two of the other slave walked over and kissed me on the cheek and neck whispering that they loved me. One was holding Ghost Pepper in a fluid form and the other a stun gun. My sister started at my clit and gently drew a line upwards towards my belly button. Half way between the two she discharged the stun gun and I lost control.Once again my ball gagg was removed, the ghost peper fluid was dripped onto my tongue and my mouth started to burn in ways I can't even describe. I'm bawling and choking and gagging. Then came the clit drop and I thought I was going to dislocate both shoulders as I fought my restrants. My throat was so closed up by the heat I couldn't scream, I was just ging and choking.Everyone in the barn was laughing and taslking about what a good little cunt I am. When I finally recovered Master walked over, said I had failed and he out a drop og ghost pepper sauce on his finger and slipped it into my ass.I have never complained about a session with my owners or the group before, but this morning I did literally beg then not to do that again. Mistress gave a gentle kiss and told me to rememeber my place and that I had begegd them to use me as they wished over nine years ago.They are good to me, but I fear tyhat I may have overstepped my bounds this morning and that I will pay a price for that in the future.

August 14, 2024 - Multiple visits from Sextoy69       Sextoy69 has been coming around for a while.  He loves to be tied to the bed and throat fucked viciously.     Probably about a year ago before tying him to the bed and throat fucking him, I started telling him to get up on all fours so I could play with his ass. We both enjoyed it.  I would start with a single finger, applying lots of lube, eventually working in as many as three and sometimes four fingers.   A couple times he let me fuck him with my cock. But since he never cleans out because he comes straight from work, once my cock is in his ass I can't stuff it down his throat. It's one of his hard limits and I respect that.  Definitely not a problem.   So most recently when he gets here, we head upstairs, we both strip, and he gets up on all fours on the bed. I've been using wider and wider toys to open his ass up while reaching between his legs and stroking his dripping cock. I'm usually playing with my own cock at the same time.  We both enjoy it.   In fact I found, I'm enjoying it a bit too much. I get so excited, I'm so aroused playing with his ass and my own cock, it's such a mental rush watching him push his chest hard onto the bed while pushing his ass in the air.   I've learned that I get so excited, that when it's time to tie him down to the bed and throat fuck him I don't last very long. Usually within 5 or 10 minutes I'm shooting my load down his throat.   Two visits ago, I told him we were going to skip the ass play. And I must have throat fucked him for 30 minutes. He likes being tied down tight. And he likes being throat fucked extremely rough. Since my cock is down his throat a safe word doesn't work since his mouth is full.  He knows to smack his hand on the bed frame three times and that's the safe word, or safe action. This tells me to stop instantly.  Not that he has ever used the safe word or safe signal.   So two visits ago, after skipping the ass play, I tied him face up on the bed to the four corners. I tied him tight. He likes to struggle. I like to watch him struggle. But he never turns his head away causing my cock to pop out of his mouth. He just enjoys struggling.   I throat fucked him so hard. I was vicious. There were times my cock would get so rigid that I would push it all the way down his throat blocking his wind pipe. Normally I can hear him gasping for air around my cock and through his nose, but this time I couldn't hear any air going in or out of his body. That's how far my cock was lodged into his throat.   READ THE ENTIRE STORY AT WWW.SirKel.top  

Why language matters. Or, Darmok and Jalad. angeldmort 57F Domme I had a reminder this week, (not that this week is that unusual, but some cases are more extreme than others) at how important it is to have a common language in any interaction we have with others. Most of our lives, the average American at least walks around hearing English, speaking English, reading English, and assuming they understand what other people are saying. And vice versa - they assume they are understood. And yet, so much of our attempts to communicate end in misfires.   Often, it's because we don't really care enough about the interaction, and we glide along on autopilot, comfortable in the status quo quality of our interactions. We are usually getting enough of what we need out of it that we often don't even question it. Often, if there's a problem, we make a scene to make it clear that no, that's NOT what we meant, or that isn't what was said to us, etc but unless we feel slighted, or it leads to the loss of something we DO value - a comment made here that loses us a promotion, or a question not answered loses someone's interest, or a tone of voice makes us concerned for a possible loss of status- unless it's serious, it's just anger and fuss and it's over. THEN, it may become a real issue, worth some thought, but by then, it's really too late. The miscommunication has happened, the thought process it started it under way, and a feeling has been had, etc.   Stick with me here.   At it's most basic level, language is how we express a thought. It's pretty common to believe that most of the time, other people from a similar area have similar thoughts to our own about a general variety of things. We expect that they want the same basic things, because we are all human, and most of the people we deal with were raised similarly, and had similar experiences. And that they will use the same words as we do to describe them. That's where the screeching halt comes in.   "Most adult native test-takers range from 20,000–35,000 words." That's a decent vocabulary. It should mean that most of us that speak English will have plenty of words in common to have a discussion and be understood with enough clarity to make it through most common joint activities.   That said, most people don't tend to think too deeply about words themselves. Which means when you start to want more than just "enough to get by" conversation, things can get a bit complicated. And in cases where you need to negotiate something VERY specific, in depth, such as the fine details of kink or what our limits are... suddenly, your vocabulary will not only need to grow, but become very precise.   I'm not seeing that as often as I would expect from the letters I receive. In fact, the majority of people that write me seem frustrated by the need for words at all, and irritated by the requirement that we spend some time talking about anything that isn't a description of a sex act. Which baffles me... if you are wanting someone to tie you up, do ... THINGS ... to you, while you are helpless, etc, wouldn't you REALLY REALLY want to make sure that the things they want to DO are the same things you want DONE? Wouldn't you be DEEPLY interested in making sure they are the kind of person that honors your Safe Word, or who shares your definition of "honest," or who won't just walk off with your wallet and DVD player while you are tied down, or who won't turn out to be straight up batshit nuts?   I've had another rash of "own me" messages. Interspersed of course with the regular "total sub" offers.   The topic at hand isn't the "I'm a TOTAL sub!" who responds to "ok, go read this for me and tell me what you think" with "What? That's not what I want! I'm a SEXUAL submissive!" Or even the "i want to be ur slave" that can't obey enough to respond to an email on time.   This topic is about the problem that causes that problem in the first place.   I received one this week from a very pretty dick pic with an empty profile that did read enough to call me Domina, but obviously nothing else, so I sent a link to the "First Impressions" thread, and followed with "Consider Your Target Audience." You can guess how it went. Before he got to "Bye, Bitchhhhhh!" he told me he wanted me to "own" him. And he referred to himself as "very kinky like to be watched ! Masterbaiting live turns me on" (Yes, that's how he spelled it.) Meh. No great loss.   Later, sissy under consideration asked if I was at all interested by Dick Pic Guy. Aside from the obvious stunted mentality of thinking his naked dick somehow mattered, he was a good tool to explain the problem of common language/vocabulary.   While being turned on by being watched is very common, and whatever floats your boat, etc that he described himself as very kinky based on that was a VERY clear indicator that we weren't even speaking the same language in regards to kink. Much like the majority of the people that write me, he had an interest in something, and had set out to pursue that, and as it wasn't mainstream, they thought it must mean they were REALLY out there crazy kinky. (Hell, ex-husband number two thought anal was the height of twisted and kinky.) Now, obviously, there was no actual interest in submission, or desire to actually be owned, so there was no point in even considering trying to have a conversation.   However, if there actually HAD been interest, if he had just been a newbie and without clue, there would have been this huge gap of vocabulary to fill in before we could have ever tried to talk about anyth

Today marks the beginning of my search for a domestic servant to assist with various household tasks. I am looking for a unique arrangement that emphasizes mutual comfort and understanding.    Position Overview:  Type: Unpaid  Responsibilities: Light housekeeping duties, organization, and general assistance around the home.  Skills: Massage skills would be a notable plus, as I appreciate relaxation and wellness.   Working Environment: I welcome a clothing-optional atmosphere, prioritizing comfort and personal freedom. It’s essential to foster an environment where both the servant and I can feel at ease.   I will take time to thoughtfully consider candidates, ensuring they align with these criteria while maintaining a positive, respectful dynamic.    As I navigate this search, I’ll focus on effective communication and transparency to cultivate a healthy working relationship.

So a lot has changed really, a profile update will be written soon. The biggest change really, in myself, is the stretching (quite literally i guess, pun not intended) Previously the only hole penetrated by a Dominant was my mouth (mostly with fingers but the odd strap on/vibe/dildo/phallus), but i am currently being trained anally and urethrally (is that even a word). i have never enjoyed the experience of even the smallest digit oenetrating me anally and would scream the place down through a gag if anything bigger than a pinkie finger up there. As i write this i have had a 4" butt plug in now for around 18 of the past 24 hours. Do i enjoy it? Not really. I have got to the stage where i can, for decent lengths of time, forget about it as it feels normal but only really when not moving about. i can also insert it myself when ordered to do so, not a feat i would previously have thought possible.   The story of how this, once hard limit, along with urethral sounds, were accidentally, on the same day no less, is one for another day but i thought, after many years on CM and now CS, i would make use of my journal to record my anal training journey so others may learn what they might expect. 

slave knows no gender, has no expectations, lives to please its betters, keeps its Owner always in mind, knows and expresses gratitude among other things. The slave reading this probably feels inadequate with out the ability to ever 'measure up.' And, well it should. However, I have never found a slave that adequately fills the above list of particulars. So, I expect to devote much energy and time to training; maybe a life time. Do not worry about coming to Me as a finished, accomplished slave. Rather, come to Me with an abiding need to be subsumed in devotion and service. Everything else can follow. Master James

If you found a normally locked door unlocked, wouldn't you worry?  I went away for the long weekend and came back last night after dark. Unloading the car, putting things away, blah blah. I stopped and looked at the kitchen door. Unlocked. I lock every door when coming in out of habit. Unlocked. I start looking around, checking closets, go downstairs, check that door, the windows. Nothing. Nothing looks missing. Eventually I head upstairs, with a kitchen knife. Okay, with two kitchen knives because what if the person waiting to murder me knocks the first one out of my hand? Secret knife in my hoodie pouch.  Now, you're probably saying but you have a dog, she will attack. I would think so, too. What she did was walk upstairs and go straight to her bed. The weekend wore her out. I was on my own. You might also think that's a good sign if she doesn't hear or smell anything unusual. She also has walked right by french fries and never noticed. Let's not count on her awareness to save the day. Back to me. Back when I was paranoid I bought a, what are those things called, the zapper thing, because I don't know how to use a gun and I would probably shoot a hole into my closet and ruin several of my favorite dresses. I went to get that to continue my search and it was dead. Why would I keep it charged? Indeed. Kitchen knife and secret hoodie knife it is. Every closet, peeled back the shower curtain, looked under every bed. Checked my jewelry. All fine. And then I closed and locked the bedroom door and wound a belt around the handles and slept with the tv on.  What about the kitchen door? All I can think is I missed relocking it the last time I went out. You better believe I won't be doing that again any time soon. The kitchen knife and secret hoodie knife are still on the nightstand. 

Mr.McB writing from nyc   I am here seeking a very submissive housegirl a domestic slave a service minded girl a fully Owned property to be trained educated instructed for a longterm position in my life and in my home   I am retired  healthy  experienced  in Owning and training a girl  both or which  I have done  very successfully   I have a home here in nyc and can provide a strict safe place for a girl to learn how best to live  her life  in strict slavery the kind of life for which she was born   some sexual service is required  oral anal and body worship   but the girls behavior is whats most important to me my preference is for a slave to be kept in a state of  orgasm restriction for  extended periods of time   at the same time her most Respectful Obedience  will be worked on   a girls Obedience  is a special interest of mine as I am a Disciplinarian  so I am always looking  for a reason  to use the paddle   I will not hesitate to correct whenever she does not live up to the standards expected of her   I am also an everyday spanker something she will get simply  because a spanking  is always needed   and there will be oversight of her activities meaning all of them   if this strikes any interest? please say hello thank you for reading MstrB

7/31/2024 6:49:25 PM   A very warm and grateful send out to those who have contacted Me to share of their own story and their strength and well wishing.  This was quite unexpected and I appreciate the consideration shown and stories shared.  My very best to you and yours and thank you for the kindness, it means much and has indeed given Me some strength in carrying on.  xox

At Her feet… …a place to kneel in devotion …a place to listen attentively …a place to adore Her mind …a place to worship Her body …a place to understand a lesson …a place to feel home …a place for so much more…

I've absolutely no interest in her sexually but just added someone to Favorites just as a way to bookmark them so I can read her Journal entries. Because we have a few things in common and I may find her writings interesting.   Was considering sending her a 1 or 2 sentence message just to let her know the Favorites means that and only that..but apparently no messages from males are accepted. Which is just as well, since too many on here are unable to see the truth even if it's right in front of them, though I mostly sympathize as many have been burned by the dishonest in the past. Others on the other hand, protest loudly how they hate all the unwanted advances but recoil even more from the encounter with someone who truly has no sexual interest in them but may have interests in common. Which is a bit rich given all the comments one hears about how it's bad form from the other side to only be interested sexually and to lose interest when it's for friendship..pot and kettle.. gander and goose.. On a positive note, life despite its pains and worse, can be very beautiful, so those of you, which is very many, who struggle with depression or holiday stress..please take a few moments or longer to take good care of yourself and remind yourself This Too Will Pass about bad things in your life, and find some moments to enjoy stillness, warm solitude, quiet and inner peace.

Accuse me of having no manners. If you do, OI laugh at you. I have responded to many profiles out here over the many years and 9 out of 10 don't get a reply.  I basically say hi, mention a little about me, sometimes I mention they should read my profile, I ask questions. The other 1 out of 10 that do reply, usually seem to continue a back and forth in exchanging messages but whemn I bring up maybe meeting sometime or doing a chat online or something more interactive than sending the equivalent of email messages, people go silent. FRAUDS! That what this place chuck full of. I doubt anybody meets anyone anymore from this site in person. It is all fun and games and killing time and not being serious about meeting anyone. .

Forced Fem and Humiliation might not be so bad after all   A couple of years ago my Master thought up a new way to humiliate me when he bought a little frilly French maids costume online. He plan was initially to make me wear it while I did chores around the house. He wasn't in to TVs or sissies he just thought it would amuse him to see me walk to the end of the garden to put bags of rubbish in the bin especially as the garden faced a busy street. He also found it funny to lock the door behind me so I would spend a while cowering outside trying not to be seen before he opened the door again. Don't worry the humiliation wasn't a bad thing it could just get a little cold out there sometimes. He also used to make me wear it when his friends visited to serve them drinks. It was on one of those visits with Masters friend constantly putting his hand up my skirt (sanctioned by Master) that the subject of it being cold outside came up. The friend suggested only the dress wasn't enough I should at least have proper underwear and at least 1 pair of stockings. Master agreed and one day I came home to the additions to my new outfit sitting on the table. I was instructed to go and try them on. After a few struggles with the stockings I came out to show Master. He approved and showed me how much by ensuring that my new knickers I had only had for 10 minutes needed to go into the wash. Now when I did chores I was properly dressed and Masters friends seem to like it too. I liked it too.  I was never a sissy but I looked forward to dressing up, even running to the bins never seemed so bad. I confess I have dressed up sometimes since, and would like someone who likes it to push me  bit more.

This was my reply to a post on fet.  I thought it might be informative    Past time for a cleaning is generally not a problem imho. Although, I suppose that depends how far past. Maybe it takes a few visits then regular maintenance. If I may, you should provide the lock without a key when you do the furst meet and greet some time before the first cleaning. It should always be you who unlocks the lock and keeps the key. He can go away with the unlocked lock if that is what you choose and lock himself back up some time before the next visit.That sounds like a wonderful arrangement to me.

Okay. Okay. I need to get some things off of my chest. Now that I have had some conversations, met a few people, I just want to say that I have standards and I would want my Dom to also be a person of standards. What do I mean by that? I make the effort to always be clean, smelling nice, looking pretty, etc. The bare minimum should be that my Dom takes some care of himself. I like when a man has taken the time to get a haircut,I like it when I can smell cologne on your skin, and after 11 years of trying to change a person, I realized that I indeed changed. We didn't want the same things and I got so tired of trying to convince someone to take care of themselveswhen I'm a fucking mess myself. Like, I need, absolutely crave Daddy but I haven't found him yet. If you're serious about something 24/7 and this is not strictly a kink for you, we might have some things in common. I've noticed some red flags one is that the people I was communicating with, they always want to be called Daddy and like, no. You're not my Dom, I don't know you like that, things take time to develop. Also, if you're weird, Do not bother. For example, I'm not into pantyhose and for one person, that was a deal breaker. Good. Keep that shit away from me. I'm trying to find my perfect match on every level. Also, I don't want your money, I have my own. It might not be a lot but I am not interested in any weird financial stuff. I'm trying to get my shit together in the real world. And all I want is Daddy. I don't think anyone understands how fucking primal that urge has become for me. But please don't come on too strong. Give me time. I'm thinking about a normal conversation here, then on text. Then the phone. Then a video call. You see what I'm doing here? Look if things went well maybe I fly out for a fun weekend. I don't know but I'm open.

What I’m looking for is not a fantasy dynamic, not a temporary thrill, and not someone who only wants to play with the aesthetic of submission. I’m looking for a genuine partner who understands that submission, in the way I live it, is a lifestyle built on trust, responsibility, and real-world commitment.     For me, dominance has never been about control for its own sake. It has always been about care, leadership, structure, and mutual trust. I believe deeply in consent and in building a foundation slowly. Early on in any connection, I tend to ask a lot of questions like “What do you want?” or “What would make you comfortable?” because trust is something that has to be earned and built together. I don’t assume authority before that trust exists.   But the dynamic I ultimately want does evolve.   Once deep trust is established — when I know someone truly trusts my judgment and I know they are genuinely committed to the dynamic — my role becomes one of firm leadership. At that point I expect my decisions to be respected and followed. Not blindly in a harmful way, but with the understanding that I lead with intention and care.   Unfortunately, I’ve had experiences in the past where someone wanted the fantasy of submission, but not the reality of living that life. They wanted the aesthetics, the kink, and the attention — but not the responsibility, structure, or accountability that comes with being part of my world. That mismatch eventually causes things to fall apart, which is why I’m extremely careful now about who I allow close to me.

 Looking4boy2own