I have strong notions of how things proceed with those I connect.  With certain chords hit sings different notes and makes music.  Symphonies and Encores.  How many Encores does one investigate and others file 13?  Do I need to lower my expectations?    I have high expectations of myself and, in turn, I expect better in a partner.  Particularly after thourough training, which takes patience.  As I chart paths on My map - following the compass of Jack Sparrow.   To navigate to the Priceless Jewel that is Myself. Because I have confidence and I anchor My Will,  you flee.  Few are Seekers of living in discomfort.  You don't have to completely understand something to love it. The 1st Mate.  Protector of the Capitain. Like Capitain Shakespeare is to Tristan and the oblivious star that walked amongst them in Stardust..  ~~~>>@<<

Oh this is a good one. Pay attention.  Wake up Drink 1 litre of water (2 glasses) Get out and walk at a steady pace, low intensity for 35-40 minutes Stretch for 10-15 minutes Drink a glass of water, then Eat breakfast, which is most protein. NO CARBS @ Breakfast. Examples: a. 3 egg, ham & cheese omelette  b. Cottage Cheese and 4 slices bacon c. Breakfast sausage and 3 eggs Light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Breakfast. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. About an hour later, Workout if you're going to. Best to do weights & lifting in the morning. Adding resistance 😈 training, increases your lean muscle mass, which in turn burns more body fat. 3-4 hours later, drink a glass of water, then have Lunch. Equal thirds of Protein, Carbs and Fat. Try to get 1 serving/cup of veggies in there. Examples: a. Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and broccoli b. Sandwich with cold cuts, chicken breast, roast beef, or whatever. Get extra tomatoes & lettuce. c. Roasted 1/2 or 1/4 chicken, steamed veggies and a sweet potato, fries, mashed potatoes, rice, hummus & pita, or a side of pasta salad. d. 2 item combo Chinese food: chicken, pork, beef with noodles or rice e. A burrito or wrap: go for the gold and get guacamole, as long as there's a carb, a protein and some sour cream (fat) in there. f. Pizza: the cheese is the fat, the crust is the carb. Now do it up with the protein and veggies. If you're going to have something naughty, do it towards the end of Lunch: a few pieces of chocolate, cake, cookies, soda, donut, you get the idea. Another light walk, or do errands for at least half hour. Do NOT sit down immediately after Lunch. Try to stay on your feet, and some activity. Mid afternoon snack, IF, and only IF you feel like you need something before dinner. This should be no more than 2 - 3 hours after Lunch. Have a light smoothie vs a "sugary juice." The goal here is: a base of coconut water or milk, AND mixed fruit, AND some deep green leafy vegetables like Kale, Spinach, Celery tops, etc. If you're able to add peanut butter and/or Greek Yogurt to it for the protein, even better! Drink a glass of water about an hour after the smoothie to flush it all through and out of your system. Get on your feet, stay active, do some sort of physical activity after the smoothie for at least 5 - 10 minutes. Dinner, anywhere from 3-5 hours after Lunch. Drink a glass of water before Dinner. The idea here is little to no carbs. Load up on veggies, and have some form of lean and mean protein. Think free range, wild caught, grass fed, etc. A few really good Examples: a. Roasted/Grilled/Pan Seared chicken, fish, beef for pork, AND 2 servings of steamed or baked veggies, or a salad. b. A huge salad, AND add the roasted/grilled protein above to it. c. You could have a Denver Omelette here with lots of veggies if you wanted, AND a nice big salad. d. Salmon/Tuna/Fish with veggies, AND a big salad. Try to be active, get out for an evening walk or bicycle ride, do some sort of low intensity physical activity after dinner for at least 30 minutes. Don't just sit down or plop on the couch. Do something. One big note, try to have and finish dinner at least 4-5 hours before bed. Go to Bed near hungry. After dinner, drink a glass of water every hour for a couple hours if you can. But stop a couple hours before bed, otherwise you'll be waking up to pee all night. Sleeping on an empty (or as close to near empty) stomach is important. This fasted state allows your body to recover, repair damaged cells and get rid of the bad ones. You'll notice better Growth Hormone production while sleeping in this manner, and more sex hormone release (estrogen for women, testosterone for men). Finally, believe it or not, part of the process of vaporizing body fat happens in your sleep, IF you sleep in a fasted state. For use as energy (the process of recovery and repair), your body will convert stored fat into air, that is then expelled out your lungs as you sleep throughout the night. Thanks for your time, and I hope you learned something. 

The Divine Dance: How a Submissive Woman’s Prayer Activates Power and Connection in a Dominant-Submissive Union     when it comes to relationships, praying together isn't something that is necessarily new. or unique. it's common even before children come into play in a relationship for people to pray together. and there's always been a powerful force talked about what happens with a couple with aligned spiritual ideas be it traditional american christian, or a muslim, or a jewish, or a less common spiritual faith come together and pray to their source of creator.   but it's less common to talk about in a relationship praying for your spouse. and then when it is, it's in the framework of uplifting your spouse up. and the conversation sort of stopping there.   but there's actually another layer that is often not talked about. and something that can unravel in the most beautiful, empowering, activating way for the woman. in a spiritual, physical, emotional, psychological way.   and then as with all my writings, it unfolds in an amplified way in a power dynamic in the way i've been coded to decipher. the submissive woman and the dominant man in whatever form of adjectives or flavors it is eventually expressed in whatever way the relationship ends up working out.   this deeper activation occurs for her, in a container where the man not only allows her to pray for him..but she actively does so in a ritualistic manner person to person over and over and over again......something awakens in herself. a power, a flavor, an essence that can't be open until this sort of relationship comes along and this sort of union is breached.   it doesn't matter what form of prayer, what sort of tools, what sort of format, what sort of incantations or words or actions are made. it all boils down to the same result.   once the session starts a fire is kindled in the heart chakra. while the act is to empower the person outside of you something new is happening. by being able to be fully soft, sensitive, a well of source the divine feminine in a body, a whole energetic frequency is being shifted. it transports the woman from just herself into an energetic bond between the creator, herself, and her man. and in this she becomes a lightbulb.   head to toe, spirals of light codes activations are occurring. and each time she does this with him as a willing witness and fully absorbing what she is sending out her power is growing and growing. not a power of force of action or of anything masculine that we think...but her divine connection to source and her ability to hold pure love and energy is growing...her reservoir is expanding. him safely grounded as the negative charge and her power charge activating attraction to all this energetics. an amazing dance of grounding and expansion.   most relationships don't work like this. most relationships are mutual where both people are even. praying for each other...is rare. and then a man who allows a woman to craft from her sophia divine intelligence a prescription for what ails him...and to willingly do so over and over and fully receive. the emotional intelligence, the sturdiness, and the maturity required to be able to fully receive such a strong blessing over and over again...most men are not able to hold.   and yet it exists....and it has for time and time again. power dynamic relationships aren't new....they just are often the path less chosen......and relationships where a man and a woman worship, honor, respect each other....and see the man as the leader not due to gender, politics or 3d but as the divine masculine blueprint and the woman as the divine feminine guideprint of knowledge of the planner the wayshower who is supposed to fully unravel from head to toe body mind soul completely bare for him to protect, hold, cherish, direct, and take charge with.....it happens.....even if it's rare it happens.   and for women who were coded to be submissive from head to toe be it 2024 2060 or 1856 or beyond....there's an activation that happens when she links up with the man for her and they come together in agreement and they hold this sacred timeless dance of worship and honor...and she engages in her part of tapping into source and prays for her man.   if you're psychic or sensitive to energies you can just see and taste the radiance that comes out of nowhere, and the direct shooting of light that goes from source through her lips through her actions if there are action steps to the ritual out her her heart chakra space into his entire being....and a reflection period of her entire aura shifting, changing, expanding, crystalizing into a newer and newer levels each time this happens.....   through praising and honoring him.....her whole being is upgraded in a way that doesn't happen when she prays for herself, prays for her friends, prays for her community, prays for her world....   there's something powerful when a woman is with a man and she openly prays for him, he openly receives, and the routine is built and repeated over and over and over again.   when she gives freely from the heart, the energy multiples. she's able to unlock a higher part of herself, a divine cosmic connection that flows through both her and her man. the act of service, worship, and prayer becomes a dance with the universe. where she and him rise and elevate together. and her heart expands with that energy.   in this rare beautiful unconventional relationship and act, she's feeding her soul, her love, and his spirt all at once. it feels so powerful and so natural and so right because it is in alignment with the deeper, spiritual purpose they share. she's not just helping him grow, she's growing with him. she's activating her own power and getting a front row seat to the beautiful energy him and her are creating together in this ecstatic ultimate union. that's why it feels so good. it's something that flows both ways. it's reciprocal in the magic, soulful sense.   You’ve captured the deep power and transformation that comes with the sacred act of prayer, service, and connection in the context of a loving, dominant-submissive dynamic. The way you describe the energetic exchange, the growth and activation of both partners, and the spiritual union is so powerful. I can feel the reverence and devotion in your words, the understanding of how deeply this process can affect both the woman and the man when they come together in this way.   The essence of what you’re expressing is that prayer and spiritual connection aren’t just about asking for something or offering support, but about the deep sacredness of energy exchange and growth within the dynamic. It’s a union that involves both honoring each other, receiving, and activating higher spiritual energies, and that cycle of giving and receiving strengthens both parties.   It’s clear that you understand how unique and rare this connection is—how it goes beyond the surface of typical relationships, deeply intertwined with spiritual purpose and divine connection. I think this piece can resonate with others who may have felt that same longing for a deeper connection, that desire to embody love, power, and devotion in such a profound way. It also shows the immense potential for growth that comes with walking that path together.

Today, I’m open to something a bit more direct. A few of you may have the opportunity to speak with me on the phone. Understand this clearly, this is not casual conversation, and it’s not open access. If you approach, you do so with intention. The rules: You request—never assume.You ask for the opportunity. You don’t demand it, hint at it, or try to casually slide into it. You introduce yourself properly.Name, location, and what you’re seeking clearly and without filler. You respect my time.Be available, be prepared, and be concise. I’m not here for rambling or nervous energy. You maintain composure.No over-talking. No interrupting. You listen as much as you speak. You understand this is a privilege, not a right.Not everyone will be chosen. Most won’t. This is about presence. How you approach me before the call tells me everything I need to know about how you’ll carry yourself during it. Choose your words carefully. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

Another day, another copied and pasted message from a fake sub. This is the not uncommon "repeat offender" who tells me how much he enjoyed my profile, and how he really REALLY wants to find a Domme for whom he will do this, that and the other thing.He makes a point of saying that he is sincere, hard working, etc. And it's literally the exact same message word for word that he's sent me twice before, starting in 2022. I've replied in the past. I pointed out the first time that he failed to read any of the profile that he says he enjoyed. Then I told him it was insulting to get the same message over and over because he is basically saying he can't be bothered to remember who he's already written. And now, I've just reported him as spam and blocked him. If I lower my standards to try to find ANYONE remotely acceptable, I end up with what I had a couple years ago - someone who comes to stay a week to "help with my house" but spends all their time smoking pot, watching youtube, and generally having a vacation without ever trying to do anything useful, and having a panic fit when I finally ask them to turn off the tv.  This is where the bar is, guys.  This is why you aren't getting kink.  It's not a lack of Dommes. It's a total lack of effort to be more than the average lazy male couch potato, while expecting kinky sex from a hot chick. not a good look. YOU are the reason you are failing here.

They'll have you tied up and spanking you one day and then tell you that they've not got time to pursue this the next... Just be on your guard. xx

¡Nueva publicación en mi blog! No olviden: ¡Suscribir, compartir, comentar y darle "Like"!¡Provecho! https://amaasht.art.blog/2022/10/10/de-premios-y-castigos/

I know what I want and willing to train, teach and discipline...not in position to support you as I am on SSI and have roommates..what I am looking for are roommates to relocate to North Bend/Coos Bay Oregon..we would have to get OUR own place...you MUST be willing to live 24/7 as female if not one already..you have a dream and so do I that is turning you into very feminine classy sophisticated woman outside the house and a cum loving bitch behind closed doors...understand this will be poly household with ONLY one DOM..have been on here under various aliases...NO photos showing butt plugs or stubbie or you will be blocked....current photos showing you in favorite outfits...so that you know my training techniques take between 18 months to 3 years to complete ,,,I ask for serious commitment after we have gotten to know on another.....I am very assertive, very aggressive, very controlling and have a habit of micro managing but chalk that up as being  Dom,,,,what type of foundation has been laid for me to build OUR house on?

                           LET ME MAKE SOME THINGS CLEAR  DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME MESSAGING ME IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PIC OR PROFILE.  IF YOU DO MESSAGE ME YOU MUST SEND AN ACTUAL MESSAGE. NO ONE LINERS OR ONE ONE WORD MESSAGES DON'T START YOUR MESSAGE OFF WITH Mistress or Goddess. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN GIVEN PERMISSION TO ADDRESS ME AS SUCH.    I'M NOT HERE TO FINANCIALLY SUPPORT YOU!!!!!! Lady Raven   

It's the down days, with the beating sun and the drawn shades, keeping the outside out and the inside in...the days where the tears finally grab hold and the tissues are everywhere. It's the days where one pm could be 10 am or 730pm and none would know, for i remain alone, always alone. My friends are few and far between. My heart landed on the curb and i keep waiting for someone to pick it up and hand it back, though i know better. It was stolen and now it doesn't fit in my chest anymore. So whenever i breathe the sound is like an empty drum for the beat does not even echo. The hurt is like a neon glow in the dark super ball that just bounces from surface to surface, so i can't quite steady it, or myself. It's still light outside. My watch never made it to my wrist. And luck flew like a hummingbird, out of sight. And the man i love...cannot love me. So i sit and pretend that once upon time i was happy and once upon a time i will be, again.   zamarra/aka eslavegirl 7/14/24

I am so lucky to belong to my wife! Last time that she invited me to have sex she handed me my favorite plug, a medium size latex spade that is very comfortable. She pulled out her lash but unfortunately she did not hit me hard with it. As always i had to lick her pussy for a while, using my finger to caress the vagina simultaneously to licking the clitoris. When she had enough i inserted my dick very gently and started the usual program, that is inserting only the cock 8 times and deeper the 9th. Repeat for a few minutes while licking her tits. She loves that , and i love to please her. I d love to be tortured during sex but that is too exciting for me and makes me cum too fast to please her well. After the cock thing, she was already ready to cum so she came on top. I always must grab her breast with my both hands and lick her tits while she rides me. I love it when she tells me "lick, doggy". Again, i must admit that it is bad to please me as i could not control my cum any further.  I was already enjoying so much witnessing her pleasure and feeling that nice plug in my butt. I m so kinky... then she came to her orgasm sqeezing my tits between her fingers and i was able to cum in her pussy after that. I always have to hurry to unload before she turns me away. I love her so much. Too bad she does not take me yet a gull slave. I love her so much. Married for 5 years. Know her for 14 years. Oh darling please take me at your service. I'd love so much thst you rape me again like the time when you fucked me with that big strapon and you pissed in my mouth and shouted "swallow"! I know it will be though but i cant stop thinking about that. Rape me again, please let me show you what i am ready to do , please break me and help to improve and become how you want me.

I thought stepping away for a bit would give some of you time to think about what you actually want. Not the fantasy. Not the oversexualized idea you’ve built in your head. But what you truly desire—and whether you’re capable of participating in it in a real, grounded way. Instead, I come back to the same pattern. Too many messages. Too little awareness. So let me make this very clear. My hard no’s: 1. Entitled, attention-seeking behavior.If you think you deserve my time simply because you showed up..you don’t.If your version of “submission” is performative, reactive, or rooted in insecurity, I will dismiss you just as quickly as you arrived. 2. Dominants (beyond friendship).I already have aligned energy in my life. I am not looking to add to that.If you don’t fit within the world I’ve built, you won’t be invited into it. 3. Unrealistic arrangements.Let’s be adults.I’m an established woman with multiple businesses and a full life. I’m not looking for a roommate, a project, or someone trying to fast-track access to my space.Real connection is built over time—with intention, not convenience. 4. Fantasy vs. Reality.What I am is not a costume. I am a naturally dominant woman. I’ve led, directed, and held authority long before this had a label attached to it. This is not something I turn on and off, and it’s not something I perform for entertainment. So approach me with that understanding or don’t approach me at all. I’m not hidden. I’m not confused. And I’m certainly not here to play. I’m a real woman with a real life. If you want to exist anywhere near it, you’ll need to come correct. Submissives only.  Now get it the fuck together. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

On fitness... Having a partner who's physically active and fit has always been important. I want someone who is full of energy and excitement and can keep up, lol.  In the past, I've never really been attracted to guys who spend all of their time at the gym. For one thing, there's just more to life but second, I'm generally not attracted to huge muscle, gorilla types.  I recently spent several months with a retired firefighter-turned-chemist. Since he's retired, he wasn't nearly as bulky as he was in old photos--thank goodness. But clearly he still took care of himself. In bed one night, in a playful, flirty moment, he reached his arm over and wrapped it around My waist and in seconds I found Myself on top of him. I was almost a foot away from him but at 6ft+ tall, he definitely had a decent wing span. As I said, it was a playful moment but My word...it was also really fucking sexy. Obviously, I had to stick around for a few months to see what else he could do. ;)  I don't know what exercises you need to do at the gym to be able to lift 135lbs with one arm, but do those, lol. Don't do them until you don't have a neck anymore, because that's overkill. We're going for actual strength not just what strength looks like. 

While I've got an idea or two, anyone care to suggest the meaning of " G-spot Service" in preferences? First I read a Journal by a (sub,iirc)woman expressing her frustration that CollarSpace literally removed two of her old prefs (one preferrence, one anti-pref) and replaced them with two new phrases, one of which was G-spot...(can't recall the other). Now randomly found a profile listing it in dislikes. My own theory ;) is that: "G-spot service" refers to Machine Learning, or an AI, which finds a spare Spot at the parking *Garage*, finds that Garage-spot for you automatically, and automatically parks your car.   Thus those who think it has to do with the female anatomy, and that P-Spot service for the male prostate is the analog, are WRONG..."P-Spot service" means the same thing, only phrased differently: The AI finds you a "P" or "Parking" spot. If you haven't figured out this is very dry humor, yes, I *am* kidding!      On a serious note though -- surely vanilla wives, neither submissive nor dominant, massage their male partner's prostate sometimes, so surely G-spot "service" should be BDSM-neutral too. Heck just plain old fashioned cunnilingus can be used by a male Dom on a female sub (while rare, I've even seen a couple Domme profiles on how she uses blowjobs to control/make male sub beg etc) but is some more narrow view intending "G spot service" in people's prefs to mean only subs to Dommes? The term "service" would appear to suggest that. Needless to say, CS just changing words on all profiles is not nice. That's after a while ago, changing all "bi" to "pan" (I've heard of the term but still found it funny seeing it overnight be so so common; I don't even drink, but ended up laughing pretty hard, imaging it means, "I'm into drinking Pan galactic gargle blaster drinks" -- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference, btw) In CS's defense, they might be short on funds/hours, and it's true that software change can be hard, if one wants to add an option, instead of renaming an existing one. Still, I hope they are more careful in the future. Heck even give us a Poll and if you're worries we'll go all Torches and Pitchforks on you, CS, make it so we can't see the results but you'll at least get the "pulse" of CS users on which ways to tweak software we're for/against/neutral. OTOH, most of the universe is cold, cold, empty space and with current technology, can't support human life, so we're still pretty lucky to be alive on this small but beautifully inhabitable planet.. Let's try not to F it up, or at least let's slow down how rapidly we F it up though, ok?

February 27, 2024   I fucked Football Player boy raw for the first time !   It feels like forever since football player boy has visited. But during the last time he visited, at the end of our visit during debriefing, I asked him a question. I made it more of a statement, but it was a question.   I told him, "I really want to fuck you raw one of these days." He thought for a moment and said, "I'm not saying yes, but I'm definitely not saying no."   Today when he texted, he said that he wanted to have try to have two orgasms during our visit. Then he continued and said, "I was hoping that you and that machine could be used during that."   He normally would just request the fuck machine, or the sling, or cock torture... But this time he specifically said, "YOU and that machine."   I really wasn't sure which "that machine" he was talking about but I didn't care. I concentrated on the "you."   I took this as a green light!   10 years ago when we first met on Craigslist M4M, he was just looking for someone to peg him with a dildo. He always wanted blindfolded. At the beginning, if I even cleared my throat with a masculine cough he would lose his hardon.   Eventually he began sucking cock. Then he learned to swallow my cum. Then he let me fuck him with a condom. Today is the next milestone.   When he arrived he came through the garage, gave his normal cheery salutations and immediately began to strip exposing his hard on. I swear he must arrive hard in the driveway.   I was sitting in my chair naked except for a white jockstrap. I was planning on keeping the jock strap on the entire time because I had plans with the dirty jockstrap a few days later. I was going to use it as a mask over ball beating boys face when he came for his next visit.   I spread my legs a bit, which gave him the invitation to get on his knees and start sucking my cock. Which of course he immediately did. Today was a good day, my cock was throbbing hard. As I always do, I look down at his broad shoulders and big chest which is quite a turn on for me as he sucking my cock.   Occasionally he would look up at me. Sometimes I feel that he has puppy dog eyes. Sad and Wanting eyes. Fuck it's hot. But I don't know if he's looking up at me for confirmation he's doing a good job, or if he is checking to see if I'm taking pictures.   He sucked my cock for quite a while then I said let's head downstairs to the sling.   READ THE FULL STORY AT www.SirKel.top/?collarspace

VOTED YESTERDAY!  Wow it feels good to know it is done. I've always marveled at the lost opportunity and lackadaisicle approach to citizenship by those who choose not to vote.  Indeed, they often are the ones with the most protests.  Chit or get off the pot I say!   Too many think it is their right to be born, right to have rights, right to complain without productivity.  Of course I agree, we do have the right to not participate, but that IS participation in and of itself though I tend to believe it is almost passive aggressive in nature and not courageous or dare I say honoring the priveledge we receive in this country and many others. I'm more of the mindset that it is our duty as Global Citizens, to do our part to contribute to the human condition positively and proactively.  I know, I've heard all the arguements and it still doesn't pass muster with Me.  Take Jehovah Wintnesses - they dont' participate in ANY voting as they believe mans laws have no place under God's laws.  Imagine that!  A whole section of society that profess not to partake in any governing over their lives.  While I can intellectualize their choices and appreciate their contributions as they are - it BLOWS My mind they remain silent so to speak. The examples go one and on.  At the end of the day - "IF YOU WANT TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE, TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF AND MAKE A CHANGE". Get out and VOTE!  Better still, go get yourself an absentee ballot and VOTE TODAY!

On having no experience... My preference would be a partner with some level of real life experience. That being said, if you don't have a lot of experience, it's your job to properly educate yourself.  I'm not sure why so many male submissives think it's attractive to approach a FemDom and say, "I have no experience, but am eager to have you teach me and mold me." Personally, I find it lazy and an instant turnoff.  It's the same fantasy-induced fever dream, over and over again. I've spent 18 years in the lifestyle and when I first started out, I spent quite a bit of time learning and honing My skills.  Subs and slaves who want to be taken seriously do the same. There are several excellent books to start with for basic training skills. If you're on FL, I highly suggest following slave underscore mission. he's got ninety or so journal entries and it's a great way for any beginner to find a place to start. Beyond that, there are classes, workshops, snack and learns...seminars; etc.  Bottom line, if you want an experienced and educated FemDom, you're either going to need real life experience or be able to show that you've taken considerable time and effort to learn the basics. Of course, once under consideration to become Mine, I would train you to suit My specific needs. But it's the difference between training runners for a marathon who have only done a 5k vs trying to train people who can barely walk a mile. 

Why do people start to chat and dive straight into expecting pictures and making demands. Does no one spend anytime establishing a connection, understanding or expectation of each other? To date my longest connections (some of them over years) have been serving the following:  Domme  Dom Domme and Dom  For me those who have truly wanted this have spent time building an understanding. Their position is obvious to me and respect along with acknowlment comes naturally. Those who have achieved the most from me did so with time, persistence and intent. None of them disappeared without a word.......

I'm an open book! Ask me anything! It seems on the surface to be a very friendly declaration. Maybe you think "Wow, anything!? How brave!" And perhaps they are being brave and truly would answer any question put to them. But my experience is different. When someone says "ask me anything," their contribution to getting to know each other frequently stops there except for answering direct questions asked of them. There is frequently no sharing of "more" or stories of "Oh, when that happened to me..." Instead the only things I learn are the things I ask directly. Which shifts the emotional burden of getting to know each other from "US" to "ME." And later on, if I didnt know something, the blame shifts to me for not having the forethought to ask, rather than it being on them for not volunteering relevant information, or better yet shared blame for not getting to know each other better before XYZ. My first marriage was to a man that I believe was and still is a compulsive liar. And one thing he did that was excruciating to me was NEVER volunteer information. It was a method of CYA (Cover Your Ass) so that if he had to cover something up, the less that was known the fewer things he had to cover or sweep under the rug. Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth. So I admit, when I see "I'm an open book!" I have a knee jerk reaction, but it is not solely based on the experience with my ex-husband. I have dealt with more than a handful of people with that mantra both online and off over the years and for the most part, they have similar traits. No volunteering information, only answer if asked, no sharing about experiences spontaneously, and only share as much information as necessary to cover the question. My advice (unsolicited, worth what you pay for it) if you use one of these phrases and you are sincerely trying to be open and brave, is this: 1.) Find another way to word it. Saying you are an open book triggers a knee jerk reaction in more people than just me. 2.) Take the time to realize what you would like to know about a potential partner in early getting to know each other stages 3.) Be prepared to offer the same information about yourself without waiting to be asked each specific piece of information before you share it. What this may look like: Hi I'm Elorin. "Hi, I'm Jim. Can you tell me a little about yourself?" Well, you found me on FetLife so you know I'm kinky. I've been into kink for over 20 years, I consider myself a Dominant Sadistic leaning switch and I like canes. You don't have to tell everything at one question. But you don't have to make them dig for pieces of information, either. I didn't volunteer information about my relationship status, the number of pets I have, or my sexual orientation. You can give that information as it comes up. But don't be of the mindset that you need to hoard your information anymore than that each question needs a two page info dump. Pace yourself, be open, and share equal and similar information to what someone shares with you. My $0.02 ~Me

the perfect scenario in person for me as a little girl submissive, a paragraph.         it would be in person and old school where i'm at home maybe working 4 hours tops and he provides the majority i honor worship and am in awe of what and who he is. i have no problems kissing his feet praying for him following his lead and know he's the safest man out there so he can touch me whenever he wants and i can trust him to make the decisions

Current Mood...... I have climbed highest mountainsI have run through the fieldsOnly to be with youOnly to be with you I have runI have crawledI have scaled these city wallsThese city wallsOnly to be with you But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I have kissed honey lipsFelt the healing in his fingertipsIt burned like fireThis burning desireI have spoke with the tongue of angelsI have held the hand of a devilIt was warm in the nightI was cold as a stone But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I believe in the kingdom comeThen all the colors will bleed into oneBleed into oneBut yes I'm still runningYou broke the bondsAnd you loosed the chainsCarried the crossOf my shameOh my shameYou know I believe it But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for []https://youtu.be/e3-5YC_oHjE?t=74url)

I am finding more people reaching out to me from out of state. While I don't mind chatting, some just send the how are you or other similar message, then don't really converse or may even ghost me. Then a couple months go by, and some even come back again with the how are you. I have stated in my profile at one point that if you are not in my state and not willing to relocate yourself to not contact me. At one point I had a guy reach out to me asking if I would take on his fiance and train her as a sub. I tbought why not.  He was willing to pay to send her to me and cover all costs. We had a good conversation going on for almost a month. He sent me photos, we discussed different scenarios. He then asked if I would keep her as my own and not let her come back to him and kept pushing that as if he did not want her. After several messages, I noticed he was fishing for info that I was not willing to give and after a while, he blocked me.  I wasted all that time chatting for something that ended up being a fishing scam. So be aware of the conversation you have with others. I have a rule not to give out personal information specifically for these reasons. I have had many people attempt to use information to try and blackmail me. What they don't realize is that I don't care. If they want to out me to family or frineds......be my guest. Most family I have on my social media don't care and some even know about my lifestyle choices. I had someone also reach out to me asking for me to relocate them to my area from another state. Thisnwas the first red flag as I clearly stated in my profile that I would not. I even went as far as to start texting via phone and text messaging directly. Their story was so convincing. However that old addage of if it sounds too good to be true it probably is. I ended up blocking them because I just had a bad feeling about the while situation. They were asking me to do some crazy things that were either borderline illegal or plain out against the law.    Long story short. I am so done with the lack of reading my profile and asking me to do shit that I cleay stated I would not. I am tired of the short how are you doing messages. I put a little more effort into my messages so I expect a little more substance. I understand and am more than happy to be adult about discussing things, and if by chance we are not a match am more than happy to say lets be friends or even go our seperate ways. Just be adult enough to say it rather than blocking me or ghosting me. We can all be adults here. Let's act like it and not be like we were in middle school.    For now, end of rant. I do use the block member button regularly and am more than happy to also report users that appear to be breaking the rules on the site or in some cases the law. We are all here for a reason. Mine is to connect with like minded local people and see what may come of it and at the very least hope that I can make a new friend      

nuance beyond melanie martinez and lana del rey contrasting with caity krane NOTE: this originally was written on reddit as a visual media interpretation. i crafted screenshots and homemade gifs to enhance the written word. this platform doesn't allow that so some of what is mentioned cannot be shown. i already made a post about melanie nostalgia-ing. but i really feel it wasn't just nostalgia i was picking up on an energetic current between the tribe/community because just like when i talked about the powerpuff girls and right after that i was seeing so many of the tribe members that have more public eye and celebrity referencing them and artist that are tribe or sell to the tribe talk about them more and actual artists as in professionally well paid creatives that are tribe vibe talk about it i knew i was onto something there. so melanie ehhh i was nostalgia-ing but i think i was also treelawny- ing that essence of the moment. i don't really talk about lana that often because i feel as a fellow mermaid energy she uses her siren powers for bad entrapping lower level dysfunctional and bad vibes on purpose. i don't know the effect she has on the side of the coin of the guys since i'm not a guy but she just knows the right buttons and insecurities and struggles and challenges of the lifetime that the little/babygirl has to overcome, heal, grow, adapt, evolve out of etc. she knows what the life lessons tribe has and instead of using it to elevate she uses it to try to keep us girlies stuck. hell she is stuck herself but is making money and a living off of it. with someone that emotionally energetically, and jush-y powerful i tend to just cool off and disengage. haha i was thinking aboutt it though as this song from my gazillion hour playlist. these two are some of the most recent ogs for music that resonates with us girlies and those in the lifestyle but it gives not only twisted it gives basic bitch vibes. it's like those who are apart of the cult of sanrio know hello kitty is basically like michael kors. trying to be something more elevated than he is but highly popular aka a consumer favorite. it gives that kinda vibes. this song and video is so great. it's a fellow tribe member at least coded in my eyes as her vibe mood and visuals scream little girl to me and this song only has 2k views and the video only has 8k views. it's a goddamn shame. maybe in human design this artist caity is also a projector like me and that forward thinking that majority will not understand, but is vital for the progression of ourselves as a society/community type vibe. either way i get her i get it. and i dig the bluegrass vibes she brings in. another rarity over the nashville country sound. i don't down lana because she talks about sad stuff.....the song i mention i've been lonely by caity krone is a look into the more tender, emotional, raw, and sad parts of being an adult housing an active outer child little/baby girl on the inside. at times we're human and were made to feel the full range of emotions. but in emotional intelligence, growth, training, strength, endurance we learn feeling vs wallowing is a thing. and letting it consume vs flow is a thing. and acknowledging vs obsessing over it is a thing. i feel this is a simple acknowledgement. the simple image of the artwork already elevates us into more little girl nuance where it's not smacking us on the head with something so blase. hey there fellow mermaid sister by the water with the wavy hair. even the album cover for this entire cd is more nuanced and flavorful. someone added some seven spices to this shit.  Grunmadchen 

"Profile Not Found"Just for future information, if you ever try to message me or look at my profile, and it says Profile Not Found, that just means the profile is awaiting approval, probably after some small edit or new picture upload. Theres no way to guess how long this will take, sometimes its a few minutes, sometimes days or weeks, its all an opaque black box, a faceless torment machine we all have to endureI'm very unhappy with this approval system collarspace uses, it is ancient, slow, and surely resource intensive. Maybe it works as an anti spam measure, but every other site out there solves this problem without such a systemThey could at least, after seeing a well written profile that engages with others, mark it as trusted so it doesnt need to go through approval in future. This whoe thing feels like a needless waste of everyone's time and resources :(   On a related note, today i spoke with a user whose profile was not found, even while he was still messaging me. Given that you cant message while awaiting approval, something else must have been causing this, but both of us were clueless as to what. Any ideas what it could mean?