A Masochist's Dream   She does not speak at first. She doesn't need to. The silence is the command.   I'm already trembling before the first touch, but it’s not fear — it's worship.   Her fingers are the storm before the pain, tracing the outlines of where I will break, where I want to break, where I need to break… just to be remade again beneath her will.   The first strike is a kiss I’ve waited my whole life for. It lands not only on skin, but on soul — and I open to it, gasping, grateful.   Every mark she leaves is a word written in a language only we speak: a dialect of fire and obedience. My moans are not protest — they’re prayers. My tears are not weakness — they’re offerings.   And when she stops — when her breath slows, when her eyes soften but her grip stays firm — I lie there undone, not broken… but finally whole.   Because in the ache, I feel seen. In the bruises, I feel known. And in the surrender, I am free.

One of the first things parents teach their toddlers is that 'I want, doesn't get'. We can't have everything in this world - and we certainly shouldn't expect things to fall into our laps just because we ask for them. But perhaps the point is more about the way that we ask. After all, if you don't ask for things, why would anyone give you anything? Of course, you have to prove yourself worthy. But it's important to be clear, so that other people are able to engage fully and clearly with our goals. On that note ,although we learn, when we're young, not to voice all our thoughts, I am  someone who's prepared to take risks when it comes to sharing ideas; I  don't suppress my feelings or opinions for the sake of polite pretence. I like being with people i  can be honest and open with.

Ok so I don't know but I have this vision in my mind of me serving  a strong woman she has silver hair and loves and expects me to be at my best and in my  dreams I do  in them I begin my day at the foot of her bed awakening before her to be able to prepare for her i wash and shower make her coffee begin her breakfast make sure everything is clean and straighten up before she wakes up I draw a bath make her toast and kneel at the side of the bed and slowly kiss her feet and up her body this normally wakes up her happy and refreshed but today seems different she simply lays on her back and says I have to pee I'm not used to this but I'm prepared I grab a towel climb on the bed between  her legs put the towel under me just in case and attach  my mouth to her she releases herself very slowly allowing me to breathe and swallow it's quite sour being her first of the day but I know from experience that this is what she wants and my best course of action is to drink her clean her and allow her to go back to sleep as I'm thinking this I notice the stream has stopped and she's pushing my head , she quietly  says clean me  and I run an fetch a warm washcloth I wipe her and she rolls over and says I'm still tired and would like to sleep turn off the shower and coffee and go do the laundry be back here at 8am and wake me up by massaging and kissing my back I expect the laundry to be done and I would like oatmeal instead of toast now I have my task and an hour to complete them    this is normally when I wake up with a raging hardon and I gotta admit I always feel a  little dirty like is there something wrong with me for wanting this type of relationship?       it's October and the submissve inside of me wants to be allowed out to play i do a pretty good job at surp them have for a few years now  But can I tell you how bad I yearn to be slapped smacked and spit on i really really love to be used and abused and honestly it's been too long 

I haven't been on this site in over a year. It took me about 10 tries to remember my password. I'm not sure how I feel about peeking in again. Same old, same old maybe.   For anyone new tripping over my profile for the first time, I'm currently 59 years old, and many of my pictures here are over 5 years old. Some of the earlier ones are closer to 10 years old, so keep that in mind. I'm not updating anything though since this site is so glitchy. If you want to see more recent pictures, I have active profiles on FetL-f- under the names Neolloydia and SoulSiren. Otherwise, all the info on my profile is accurate. I'm only interested in making local in-person connections.   I will add that to me, kink is something you layer on top of a healthy vanilla relationship. In no way, shape or form can kink replace a healthy vanilla relationship, imho. Therefore, I won't engage in S&M with anyone I don't like as a person, and I won't have sex with anyone I'm not in a healty mutually beneficial relationship with. Keeping this in mind, If you reach out and our conversation goes well, I will want to meet quickly and see how we click face to face on an old-fashioned vanilla date, and go from there.   Happy 2026 Everyone!

I had a long chat with an old friend of mine who is a seasoned Dom.  Very well known up north. Mentioned my most recent chat with a submissive man with a "tight balloon knot" was frustrating. Both of us had never heard the phrase but clearly a used term in the lifestyle. It was brought to my attention that submissive men go through alot of different relationships because even though they are submissive they want things a certain way. A little frustrated as I took their needs seriously but clearly they were not prepared for someone like me who was making a checklist of what they actually need from me. My family from the lifestyle did appreciate I am trying to be careful as you don't really know what other hidden knots a person has but I was trying my hardest to take things slow but seriously. In all fairness their was too much talk about the needs of his bum hole and less about my own bits so ladies enjoy your fish and chips with that one. C

Adding to the House of M - Our search for a slaveThe House of M is looking for a slave.We’re going to be picky, very picky. We will take out time in this search to find the right one at the right time for us. And because of that, we recognize this search will take some time.Our House and more specifically, our dynamic is built on communication, trust, honesty, intelligence, friendship and deep respect for each other. Those who are a part of it, are individuals that recognize that connection and relationship must exist in both the lifestyle as well as in the vanilla world to develop the kind of bonds that are required to create the richness we desire. We want one who will care a deeply about us as we will about them and share our values. We place a high value on intelligence, the mental aspaspaspects of the lifestyle, caring about each other, loyalty, seriousness in and about ones roles, as well as the ability to have fun and be let loose when the time is right.We seek a bi M masochistic slave (under 45), smooth with at least a slightly feminine appearance who is height weight-proportional. One who craves to serve and derives fulfillment from the act of giving themself to us. A slave who knows that their proper place is at a Master's feet, serving whenever, however, and whatever Master requires. Our vision is that my babygirl and I will both Dominate this slave equally as their Master. Not live-in, but possible in the future as part of this long-term dynamic. While there should be NO expectation for sexual use from either of us, they should be ready and eager to serve both of us in any way we choose. Our current needs include domestic, sexual and masochistic service, but know that as we intend for this to be a long time ownership, these needs will evolve and grow. We hope to find one who craves degradation, humiliation, objectification, and belonging, with limits that align with our own (see our profiles).For those who wish to explore becoming part of our House, write us and we can begin a conversation about it, but be patient, be respectful, come ready to show us who you truly are and most of all be patient. Take this time to get to know us as we get to know you.We are worth it - I promise you

It was a mixture of arousal, curiosity and his final reassurance that made her mind up. She knew she could say ‘Stop’ and he would, though that could be permanent, it was an instinctive decision that made her move towards the lift and later she realised why she made it. There was a logical progression to it. She was a stubborn person with a rebellious streak and a free will who made her own decisions and didn’t blame others when they went awry. Here she was reigning in her rebellious streak of her own free will and her natural instincts reinforced this. Her stubbornness would make her comply with what she wanted in this regard, even though it seemed counterintuitive.  Now it was a rush to the receptionist’s desk to get a pen, the envelope was already open and had the room number written on it. The contract was one piece of A4 paper and the male receptionist must have seen the bold type headline which stated ‘SUBMISSIVE’S CONTRACT’. She didn’t have time to read it all, her instinct told her that he would not put anything in it that he had not said. And what would be the point as it was a symbolic act, not a contract that could be legally enforced.  She hurried the short distance to the lift; the concierge seemed to have anticipated her need and he had pressed the button, she momentarily wondered if he knew. Once inside she selected the 4th floor. Her heart missed a beat when just before the doors closed a woman stepped into the lift causing the doors to recycle again and they selected the 3rd floor; she knew this would delay her further. She willed the lift to move faster but still almost in two minds about what she was doing, but she wanted to be the decision-maker on this and not subject to an arbitrary cut off due to time. Her pride ensured she used the time to check her hair and lipstick in the mirror as she would not countenance the thought he would not find her attractive.  The lift reached the 4th floor and according to the large sign room 417 was to the right, she almost ran, nearly tripping over her heels on the thick carpet.  The door to room 417 was slightly ajar, and a ‘do not disturb’ sign was hanging on the handle. She stood for a second or two to let her breathing steady, it seemed to take ages for her hand to travel from to the door, her knock was timid and her stomach almost jumped as she heard the noise her hand made.  A firm reply was forthcoming a few seconds later. ‘Come in Joanna’. She swallowed, took a deep breath and gripping the envelope, pushed the door open and whilst trying to look calm she stepped inside and the door closed with an almost imperceptible click.  The room was warm and gently lit from the lamp above the desk he was sitting at. His jacket was over the back of his chair and the few papers he was attending too were lying about.  Nonplussed for a moment she stood there waiting for some sort of guidance, she knew what she had to do but some sort of signal from him seemed essential.  He understood, or knew, and stood before quietly saying, ‘Come here Joanna’. It was about 4 steps and he stood almost impassively as she greeted him properly. Her arms went around his waist and she pressed herself against him until he said that she could stop. This time it seemed natural and gave a moment when she could do something that seemed familiar and that she was in control of. It also served to break some of her tension before she stepped back ready to kneel. Kneeling seemed a strange and almost alien act; she had been on her knees in front of a man before, but then she was in control of him, she forcibly overcame her rebellious streak and found it disappeared almost entirely.  Her eyes cast down she noticed her knees were together, it seemed inappropriate so she moved them further apart. Taking a larger breath she looked down at his feet and with the envelope in both hands, she held it up to him.  He didn’t seem to move for ages, and then he took it from her hands. He checked her signature was on the contract before placing it amongst the other papers on the desk. This was a small action, however, it made her realise that she had voluntarily signed this part of herself over to him. He had taken possession and she was now his.  He turned the chair to face her and sat on it.  She was on her knees only a few feet from a man she had just given her submission to in writing, she was no longer so nervous, it was now anticipation mixed with exhilaration and her senses were alive! She was now free to be what he decided. He leant forward and lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look him in the eyes, ‘Joanna, you are now mine’ he said quietly.  After a pause during which he just looked at her he then continued ‘The photography will wait until tomorrow as there are a few matters from earlier today I will address straight away.’ He wasn’t asking for a reply, he told her to stand and rest her elbows on the desk. She was a little taken aback, whilst earlier considering what might happen this evening she thought he might just photograph her. In a way that would be easier to contemplate, she could understand it would be a reasonable first private meeting, however, she knew it would disappoint her.  But now he was going to ‘Address some matters’ and that sounded ominous, it made the butterflies in her stomach come alive again. She did as asked, putting her elbows on the desk. He told her to arch her spine downwards, this meant she was bent over much further than she felt comfortable, it made her bottom more pronounced and her skirt was tighter. Her knees flexed as she tried to contain the nerves generated by her bottom being so vulnerable, he ordered her to straighten her legs and keep them so, as it tightened the skin of her buttocks. What he did next was unexpected, he ran his fingers around her neck gathering her hair into his hand at the nape of her neck. He expertly wound it into a ponytail using a band that must have been around his wrist. She now felt even more vulnerable without the usual shield of hair that would normally surround her face. She nervously moved her weight from one foot to another. He told her to spread her legs wider to shoulder width. She glanced up into the mirror above the desk; she could see him standing a few meters behind her, looking at her in a way few men had done. It was not simple lust, his face was almost impassive, she could see he was comfortable looking at the salacious view she presented.  His voice was calm as he told her that she had been disobedient when she broke away from the greeting before she had been told she could, she had also been demanding in their early email exchanges. For these, she was going to have her bottom spanked, he said it would be a ‘cumulative dozen’ and if she made any of these mistakes again it would be a stricter punishment.  He told her to raise her skirt over her back, this unnerved her more, it was one thing to have her skirt lifted, but another to do it herself! She thought she could not, but his curt statement of ‘disobey and I will use a strap instead of my hand’ encouraged her. She rested her forehead on the desk and reaching behind her with both hands she lifted the hem of her skirt until it lay over her back. He then described the view he had of her bottom in very basic language. His description of the way her swollen sex lips bulged into her panties was particularly crude and said with distinctive pleasure.  A short while later he moved to her left side. He reached over her back and pulled her right hip towards him, holding her still by trapping her against his thigh.

A handful of journals on here discuss disability and sexuality. It shouldn't be challenging but it does make me think why should a disability hinder your true feelings or needs. Some interesting artists have popped up locally: Mari Katayama Very inspiring. For some of the creative appreciators in the fetish scene.

051126 WOMEN POWERFUL WOMEN HOW DO THEY EXIST? WHERE DO THEY COME FROM? WHY ARE MEN SO AFRAID OF WOMEN IN POWER? MEN TREAT WOMENS POWER AS A NOVELTY, A SIDE SHOW, OR SOMETHING NOT NORMAL. ALL MEN, OWE ALL WOMEN THE RESPECT DESERVED OF A HUMAN ON EQUAL FOOTING. CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD. TO GO SO FAR AS TO STEEP THE VERY MEANING OF GOD INTO MASCULINITY.  SOUNDS VERY MAGA TO ME AND OH SO LAST CENTURY. DO NOT CONFUSE TRUTH WITH BIAS.  I LOVE HUMANS AND GIVE THEM THE RESPECT THEY SHOW ME. POWERFUL WOMEN WHY ARE MEN SO AFRAID OF WOMEN OF POWER? PERHAPS BECAUSE DEEP DOWN MEN UNDERSTAND THAT WHICH THEY HAVE CREATED... A HIGHLY EVOLVED SOCIAL CREATURE WHO SPECIALIZES IN PSYCHOLOGICAL WAREFARE.   FOR CENTURIES WOMENS POWER HAS BEEN REDUCED, DIMINISHED, AND SHACKELED WITHIN SOCIETIES, LEAVING THE MOST OPPORTUNITY FOR EXPRESSION AND GROWTH THROUGH CUNNING AND THROUGH MANIPULATION. POWERFUL WOMEN, TRULY GLORIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL POWERFUL WOMEN ARE HONEST, SINCERE AND TRANSPARENT. POWERFUL MEN, TRULY GLORIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL POWERFUL MEN ARE HONEST, SINCERE AND TRANSPARENT. SEE A THEME? EQUALITY AND INTEGRITY.  HUMAN RIGHTS.  ALL HUMAN RIGHTS.  I WILL GO SO FAR AS, EVERY LIVING RIGHT.  BUT LETS NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES AND INCLUDE THE BIRDS, THE BEES, AND THE TREES...MAN IS LOOKING LIKE THIS DAWNING IS A BIT FARTHER OUT AT THE MOMENT. LETS TALK ABOUT, CELEBRATE AND BREATHE DEEPLY OF THE POWERFUL WOMAN. SHE KNOWS WHO AND WHAT SHE IS AND ACCEPTS HER DIVINITY AND SUBMISSIVITY TO THE DIVINE, OWNING THAT TRUE CONTROL IS WITHIN. PRESENCE. POWERFUL WOMEN DO NOT SEEK REVENGE. IF MEN, ALL MEN WERE NOT AFRAID OF WOMEN, THEY WOULD DEMAND TO ENCODE A WOMANS RIGHT TO CHOOSE AS FEDERAL LAW.  THERE SHOULD BE MEN IN THE STREETS, CONTACTING THEIR CONGRESS, DEMANDING TO BE HEARD. INSTEAD MEN ARE PERMITING ATTROCITIES TO BE COMMITTED AGAINST A BEING BECAUSE THEY SIMPLY DO NOT HAVE THE PHYSICAL STRENGTH TO FIGHT THEM.  TRUST THAT IF WOMEN WERE PHYSICALLY STRONGER THAN MEN THAT THEIR WOULD BE NONE OF THIS RAPE CHIT, MOLESTATION, AND RIGHT TO LIFE CHIT. YET WHY DO MEN SHOW THEIR HAND SO WILLINGLY THAT THEY ARE SO ENTIRELY UNEVOLVED AND FEARFUL?  PERHAPS THE REASONING AS HOW TRUMP BECAME PRESIDENT... 60% OF AMERICANS READ AT A 6TH GRADE LEVEL. OR AS GUMP SAYS, STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES. FRIENDS, ITS OLD.  YOU ARE OLD IF YOU BELIEVE WOMEN ARE NOT ONLY YOUR EQUALS BUT THAT RECOGNITION OF THEIR DIVINITY IS THE THING THAT IS GOING TO SAVE YOU... BECAUSE...IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO AND YOU WONT BE HAPPY UNTIL WE ARE ALL HAPPY.  PERIOD. THUS YOU ARE HOLDING YOURSELF BACK BY NOT ACKNOWLEDGING WE ARE ONE AND WHAT YOU DO UNTO US YOU DO UNTO YOU. PAIN SUFFERING AND DENIAL. ITS WHY SO MANY OF YOU ARE TRYING TO TRANSFORM AND WHY SO MAN OTHERS ARE SO RIGID. YOU ARE AFRAID TO LIVE IN YOUR TRUTH.  

Okay, well another one just dropped out of the running lol  When he submitted himself to Me he claimed he retired in May and would be able to serve then.  I said, great, get in touch a month ahead of time.  lol  Well, we did speak once a week for an hour over the course of many weeks simply getting to know one another.   When asked how I wished to be served, I said, don't stress it, just serve Me as you served your previous Mistress of 17 years and I'll taylor you to My liking as we go.  Honestly, any man who has served a woman, knows what to do out of the gate.  The details WILL work out quite simply and speedily once under My control.  After all, do these guys honestly think I'm going to invest time into them with no return?  LOL  Ya'll are playing with Me LOL  I am NOT a fin domme in any sense of the word, however My time energy and aura are priceless and if there is going to be MY involvement their will be ROI now!  LOL So, I did My basic CSpace research which happens with any slave who happens to catch My interest - especially when they have issues and or otherwise raise suspect to Me.  Low and behold I found several other profiles across the US fitting the same descriptors!  When I questioned the self proclaimed slave, he had no idea what I was talking about (go figure lol) and yet the profiles were exact!  lol  Note to all the liars and losers - mix it up a bit or Meta Mama is going to find you out!  LOL Okay, so lady dominants, beware of the cali multi running round seeking a Mistress and due to retire in May.  He gets you interested, feels you out with all the regular promises one makes to very controlling women, then when it doesn't fit his fancy, another Mistress pops in his chat frame and tells you he has been a very naughty boy and is actually being controlled by another and so sorry but he is unavailable...but will let you know if he comes back on the market!   ROFL  Some of you guyz are a riot AND turds! ANY FEMALE DOMINANT WHO WISHES TO CONTACT ME PRIVATELY - I WOULD BE HAPPY TO DISCUSS ANY and ALL TURDS.  I shall not give personal information on the subject obtained, however I will be sharing My experience with said slaves and sharing how to spot them.  REMEMBER:  Text search is your friend.  ******************************************************************** Meanwhile, here on planet earth I continue to hear from and share with some terrific sincere and caring men.  I can only hope that we continue to come to know one another and to share more in the future.  Thank you for being the bright lights you are.  Keep up the good work and keep making those fantasists stand out like the sore thumb they are!  Kissesssss

Saw something on here today that was a HUGE RED FLAG for me. Some guy checked me out, so I in turn checked him out, and saw that he was using a picture of a former sub or playmate or whatever on his profile, face and all.  I gotta ask, does she know that you are using her picture, showing her ladybits and her face on a bdsm site for all to see?  How many women are having their privacy violated because a guy thinks the best way to advertise himself on here or other sites is to show pics of women, identifying chracteristics and all?  Frst of all, is that all you got?  You can't make your own profile attractive on your own?  You have to resort to pcitures of other people? Second of all, how do I know that if I played with a guy who does this to other women, that he wouldn't do it to me also?  I am not the only one that thinks this way.  Check out the questions about this on discussion boards on Fet.  Lots of women say/think the same thing. HUGE red flag.  HUGE.  

Submissive men are sexy. Period.   It’s a damn shame how many don’t realize it—thanks to a society (and yes, even parts of the kink scene) that tells them they’re not desirable. Newsflash: I don’t Dominate because I hate men—I Dominate because I desire them. Deeply. I crave their surrender, their effort, their devotion. A good submissive man? Baby, that’s my kink.   What turns me off? Entitled dudes who slap on the “submissive” label just to demand kink services like I’m some drive-thru McDomme. Sorry, but barking orders while calling yourself a “sub” just makes you a bratty top with boundary issues. Gross.   And let’s talk about the trope that Dominant women have to look like leather-clad porn bots but aren’t allowed to actually enjoy sex—especially not with submissive men. Um, what? I like sex. I like desire. And I like submissive men who know how to bring both respectfully.   So here’s the tea: I’m not here to play out broken porn stereotypes. I want real, respectful power exchange—where male submission is honored, not humiliated. If you think submission means weakness, you’re not ready for a woman like me.   And female supremacy? Cute in porn. But in real life? Power is about character, not genitals. Respect is sexy. Submission is sacred. Get into it—or get outta the way.