malesubntx2004 

Looks like I’ll be in Tennessee on 9/9-9/17 for work.Interested check out my BIO all welcome.

 I am at a point in my life where I have no interest in games. I’m searching for something real, something that can grow and prosper into a long-term, real-life Female-Led Relationship (FLR). I’m not looking for online fantasies or time-wasters. I am looking for a man whose passion for submission and surrender matches my passion for Dominance and control. I am a beautiful, bossy woman — confident, and unashamedly powerful. I know what I want, and I expect a man who knows how to follow direction and take pleasure in service. A man who can worship a woman’s power, not just admire it from afar. Fitness, discipline, and intellect are important to me. I keep myself in shape and expect a man who values his health as much as I do. I enjoy travel, fine dining, exploring cultures, and curating experiences that delight all the senses. I live a life of freedom and choice, and I am willing to share that with the right submissive man who earns his place by my side (and at my feet). The man I’m looking for should be respectful, self-aware, and able to balance strength with surrender. Emotional support, companionship, and intelligent conversation are just as valuable to me as physical service. You should be well-mannered, attentive, and serious about building something real. My tastes in kink are wide-ranging — Bondage, CFNM, tease and denial, chastity, worship, CBT, strap-on play, humiliation, and more — but my greatest pleasure comes from a submissive man who focuses on my enjoyment first and finds fulfillment in pleasing me. If you’re truly serious,  and understand the difference between fantasy and reality, then send me a message. Be prepared to introduce yourself properly and explain how you intend to serve and grow under my direction. Only quality men who crave a real FLR need apply.

She ponders, feeling nthe excitement and possibilities and the diving deeper in the world she craves. She can not help herself... She hits the button. It's been ordered... As her mind starts rolling with different scenarios, the fun.. helpless playful puppy she will be.. As she closes her eyes and drifts to sleep.. She's taken to the day her package arrives, so excited and thrilled for this New adventure. As she open her package, she realizes it will take more than her to but it on. Flustered, she sends him a pic of it.. she can feel he's excited for this play as well, they've only talked about it for years.. and now is the time. She takes it out, lays it out... Excited.. wanting to try it out, her attempts fail.. As she's packing her bag she packs in her suitcase, dressed as ordered wearing a plug, and vibration toy all locked up in her belt.. The key is on its way to him.. the question of what if it gets lost in the mail begins to pop up..How would it feel to be locked up and unable to escape his tortures? The feelings of excitement flow through her, she can stop the help less feeling of being locked up and unable to let herself free... As he has the key.. he holds the power to her pleasure, pain, her denial and her release. As she arrives to his place, she discovers a note on the door.. "Strip and kneel" She anxiously looks around, no neighbors outside, can she do this?? Her hearts beating out of her chest. She wants this... After a couple she takes a deep breath in and begins to follow his instructions, she removed her clothing but the belt and such stay in place. She forces her mind to shut off the thoughts of neighbors seeing, watching... Moments feel like house kneeling at his door... Awaiting. He calls her phone - "good girl" Thank you ,Sir she speaks softly.. What was that girl, speak up.. Her voice raises.. Thank you, Sir Sir- Much better girl Thank you, Sir Now - when the door opens, you know where to go and you will crawl to get to that space, there is to be no speaking. Is that understood, girl? Yes, Sir Moments later- the door opens and her head stays casted down, not sure what she's getting herself into. She arrives in that space, kneels in waiting legs apart, hands behind her back and gaze straight ahead. He brings in her play case.. lays things out before her.. she goes to grab for them, his commanding voice... Did I tell you to move from position, girl No, Sir.. That's right girl.. you are to keep position until I tell you other wise. Yes, Sir Now... Put your penis halter gag on, hood and your tail where they belong, hands behind back once done. He leaves the room, she does what's he's asked and back into waiting position. Her drool beginning to build, her cunt is nice and soaked and her scent is filling the room. Very good girl, speaking nas he enters the room and places her new gear in front of her. She blushes... Both with excitement and nervousness. He looks down at her, his first rule You will not speak.. unless given permission In fact you may only bark..1-bark yes2- barks no3 or more.. my puppy needs special attention Is that understood, Girl? She tries to speak with her mouth full... What was that girl.. she tries again.. All 4's girl, she gets into position, and he beats her ass... Puppies don't talk, do they girl... She's quite for a moment.. whap! Again she cries out .. whap.. Do puppies talk girl... She barks twice.. good girl.. Back on your knees girl. Remember this girl .. your days of control are over, this will become your day to day life.. Are you ready ?? In acceptance.. she barks once Quick learner I see, very good. Now... On your back girl.. He placed a blind fold over her eyes, the world around disappears. She's hears the sound of the straps and the smell of leather, she feels the leather sliding into place, and then the straps tightening in place.. he works her legs and then her arms... Or rather paws. Now girl, up on all 4s.. It takes her a couple of tries, but she gets it.. Very good.. She feels cold metal slipping around her next.. it's her training collar with points poking her neck.. a reminder to be the little obedient bitch is becoming. He walks out of the room.. with one word.. Stay.... To be continued...

NO male doms = In case folks on here have forgotten I am solely interested in Slaves and Submissives so only reply to that demographic.  Club Pedestal , Cruel Huntress Hunt and Club o&I in Kent are the three fetish venues I talk to Dominant Women as well. The Mawney munch I talk to everyone with good manners who are pleasant to laugh with for the evening.  All Goals Done = I have had a week where I planned to ease up my workload. Key pieces are now complete so I will take my week end a little slower. SERVICE SUBS = Today is cooler so I may think about opening up applications for service subs to cut my lawn - though a first few meets at the Mawney are key prior to me accepting that person.

There are parts of a person that don’t begin at the moment two people meet. They begin long before, in the quiet places where experience shapes us and then gets sealed away. Long before I met her, I had lived through something that awakened a deep part of me — a capacity for intensity, recognition, and emotional clarity that rarely finds a home. And she had lived through her own version of that. For different reasons, both of us buried that part of ourselves. She buried hers out of fear - fear of instability, fear of loss, fear of needing someone, fear of being seen too clearly. I buried mine out of discipline - a deliberate containment, a way of protecting others from the full force of what I feel and protecting myself from offering it where it cannot be held. Different histories, different wounds, same instinct: suppress what once burned too brightly When we met, that buried part in both of us stirred. Not because we created something new, but because we recognised something familiar. The connection wasn’t imagined. It wasn’t accidental. It was the reawakening of something each of us had sealed away. In the moments when she felt safe, she softened, revealing warmth, intuition, and depth she rarely allowed to surface. And in response, I became the version of myself that feels most grounded, steady, and alive. I understood the sandcastle she lived in. I saw her protective walls. Not as flaws, but as architecture - structures and anchors that kept her upright when life gave her no stability. I understood why trusting one person felt like stepping into open air. I understood why she stayed in the present, why she avoided looking ahead, why she protected herself even from what she wanted. I saw the logic in it. I saw the cost of it too. It is heartbreaking to see how someone can be hurt so deeply, so repeatedly, that they retreat into a world made of compartments. A world where adult emotional connection feels dangerous, where closeness carries the risk of being wounded again. And so she anchored herself to the one place that felt safe: the innocence of a child who had never betrayed her. The child of the man who had most recently broken her trust became, in a way, the last untouched corner of her emotional world. Maybe she saw a younger version of herself there. Maybe she stayed close to that child because it allowed her to protect something pure in a way no one ever protected her. Whatever the reason, it is unbearably sad that the safest place she could find was one that existed outside the realm of adult connection entirely. I understood how it was easier to feel when it was transactional, triggered by someone else and emotionally outside her control. What I felt for her was not fantasy. It was recognition. I cared for her deeply, and I would have treasured her - not by holding her tightly, but by creating a space where she could breathe without fear, where the sparks I glimpsed in her unguarded moments could grow into something steady. I never wanted to reshape her. I wanted to offer a place where she could rest without bracing for impact. It hurt that she couldn't understand my deep need to care; that she could and did give herself to another physically, to a sadist, when she couldn't accept my care or give herself physically to me. And I never believed it would be easy or instantaneous. I knew that being together would require patience, courage, and the slow dismantling of old defences. I knew it would demand effort from both of us. But the difficulty didn’t deter me - it clarified me. It strengthened my resolve. It deepened my desire to care, not out of saviourhood or fantasy, but because I saw what was possible if she ever chose to step toward it. But the truth is simple: the part of her that woke up when we met is the same part she has spent years learning to silence. Stepping toward what she felt would have required dismantling the very defences that keep her functioning. She retreated not because she felt nothing, but because she felt too much. I stepped toward it because I was ready. That difference is the whole story. So I release this into the ether - not to change her, not to call her back, not to craft something optimised for her reception or softened for her comfort. I have written carefully, yes, but this is not for her. This is for me. This is where I place the truth so I no longer have to carry it alone. We both knew. We both felt it. We both buried it for our own reasons. Meeting each other unlocked it again. She ran from it. I stepped toward it. And now I name it so it no longer lives unspoken. Whatever she chooses, whatever she fears, whatever she cannot yet face, I hold no anger. Only the quiet truth of what was possible, and the peace that comes from finally giving these words a place to live outside my own mind.

Messy Little Piggy  Had the best time today rolling around in the bath in piss and custard. Oinking as I poured it all over my head, down over my snout and finishing by rubbing it all over my tits and pussy. Piggy piss play and sploshing, yum, my favourite. What food do you like to wallow and oink in?

well it's was a Friday night and I had to go to a talk, in town, once there I was sitting have a bite to eat and a drink when a woman came over sat down she said are you here for the talk tonight I said yes , she said you will enjoy my chat too, she ordered a drink and said she was staying here for the weekend and while we chatted she stroked my cock till I was nearly cumming in my pants. The bell rand the conference was about to start she said take my key and I will see you afterwards, she gave me her key the conference went on for an hour when it finished I went to her room just as I was to enter another woman stood ne to me she said am here to get you ready Mistress demands total submission, I was a little confused . But once naked and cleasned inside and out , placed in a short maids uniform blind, and a penis gage locked on all fours on the bed. Mistress arrived placing her ass in my face she removed the penis gag and pushed back I felt the first of six different cocks fill me . And cum. When I woke up I was locked in chastity and she said you are now my bitch . get use to not cumming till your full of my cock

Unleash Your Desires Are you ready to explore the depths of your desires? Are you seeking a connection that transcends the ordinary? If so, this message is for you. Introducing an extraordinary chance for a woman who is self-assured and possesses a unique understanding of her own needs. I am looking for a submissive woman who craves a genuine and profound connection. In a lifestyle where a true connection is often elusive, I assure a safe and respectful relationship where your desires can be fully embraced. My foundation is built on trust, communication, and mutual consent. Imagine a relationship where your deepest fantasies can be openly expressed, without judgment or reservation. A sanctuary where your needs are cherished and your desires are honored. I am a compassionate and experienced Alpha, ready to embark on this journey with you. Together, we will explore the boundaries of pleasure and submission, unlocking new levels of intimacy and fulfillment. If you are a strong-willed woman who seeks a safe Dom who embraces your submissive desires, I invite you to contact me. Let us create an extraordinary connection, where trust and exploration intertwine.  Take a leap of faith and discover a world of fulfillment you never thought possible. Contact me today and begin your journey toward a profound connection.

I'm so excited, Tony is coming tomorrow.  It has been so tough with his job and three challenging kiddos.   Yet he is making the drive tomorrow and we'll have the weekend! WOOT!.   Been working around the cabin, so a lot has been put away, gallery walls completed, furniture and rugs placed, things look so much different from the last time he was here!  I left Christmas up, so we could have our own celebration .  I usually leave things til the end of Eppphany , a wee longer is no big deal, especially because I was late in getting things up . My father has been calling me a lot. He said he wants to move in with me , again. Not til Spring.  I don't know if he is mad at my niece and using me as a threat, or if he's finally ready to do it.     We'll see, I'm not holding my breath. Cataract surgery next week, I can't wait!  I have been struggling for a year and a half!  Hopefully all will go well, and glasses will be occasional, rather than continuously!. Bedtime.    M.  

6/13/2024   I am Wordy... Flirty... a little bit... Dirty. Even so... sending me a message does not guarantee a reply. Some may think that is rude. There are just only a certain number of hours in a day and I am not on here much. MPH

Winners and losers can often be distinguished by their propensity to take action and their inclination to serve others. Winners are those who recognize opportunities and are willing to step out of their comfort zones to seize them. They understand that success requires effort, resilience, and a proactive attitude. Winners don't shy away from challenges; they face them head-on and learn from their experiences. Moreover, winners often find fulfillment in helping others achieve their goals, knowing that service enriches both their lives and the lives of those they assist. In contrast, losers tend to be more passive, often waiting for the perfect moment or fearing the risks associated with action. They may have great ideas and potential but lack the drive to bring them to fruition. This hesitation and inertia often lead to missed opportunities and regret. Additionally, a lack of willingness to serve others can limit their growth and connection with the broader community. Ultimately, the difference between winners and losers lies in the willingness to act decisively, persistently pursue their goals, and contribute positively to the lives of others.

Let's make on thing crystal clear; all Bulls are tops but not all tops are Bulls. A Bull is a tamer of men and a trainer. Str8 men are a very complex lot to generalize about them. However, in my years I realized that for many str8 males is more titillating to get mounted than to suck a dick. Perhaps because for them is a test of strength and resistance versus kneeling in front of a cock and worshipping it, which triggers all the bad epithets of their lives "cock sucker." For many males to go beyond an insult that they most likely used as a putdown is the ultimate humiliatiation; go figure. Even in cuckolding scenes males react the same way and it is the ultimate degradation. The taming of males is not new, look at Bootcamp in the armed forces and also in sports teams, as I mentioned in another journal. In reality the idea is the same to break all barriers and build a man that is moldavble and ready to respond to the Master's touch, voice, and ministrations.  Most str8 males wonder about the idea of M2M sex and bonding and in many instances it will require for the Bull to mount and all out assault to their sense of masculinity and heterosexuality. That's where a good Bull is at its best. Moving and creating a serious doubt about the above mentioned issues. I've seen those walls stumble like a house of cards. The first realization is the answer to the question, who is the best man? and if a Bull really is what he claims, he will always be the best Man in all circumstances. In my experience in cuckolding situations the husband wants cock but will deny that inclination at all cost. Yet, if he is "forced by the wife" he can save whatever shred of dominance he thought he had. Once that resistance is bridged you will realize that in the intimacy of the afterglow of sex they become cuddly like a puppy. moreover, only a Bull with restore somewhat the lost masculinity as he understands it. Working towards that goal he will follow you to the end of the world with you owning his full sexuality. He will perhaps go back to his wife or gfs but he will always be yours to mount and breed. It is always so pleasurable to send them back home well fucked and stretched and unable to ejaculate because between the two only on breed and it is not him. As a Bull you know he is yours any way you want. However, outside only him will feel your poorer and control. Even if he go back to women which is his choice , he will mount them imitating you and doing it for you.  I had the pleasure of a baby named afterr me, and that’s the ultimate surender. It is his baby., now a teen, but every time he calls him he calls me. A male who loves you is a treasure to be had and a partner to nurture and possess beyond the physical.

+MULTIMEDIA What did you think was the worst movie of all time? - OH, I DON'T KNOW...THOSE GODDAMNED BLINDLY-PATRIOTIC/PATHETICALLY-THEOCRATIC MOVIES ARE NAUSEATINGLY-HORRENDOUS. 😑😑😑😑😑 If you could be any celebrity, who would you be and why?  - DUNNO...WINONA RYDER? 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 JULIETTE LEWIS? 🖤 DEPECHE MODE? 🖤💜🖤💜 Ever buy a bootlegged VHS or DVD? If so, of what? - NOT THAT I KNOW OF. Would you rather watch movies at home or in the theater? - HOME. I DON'T DO NASTYASS, GERMYASS, DISGUSTINGASS, ANNOYINGASS MOVIE THEATRES. 😑😑😑😑😑 What kind of food do you buy at the theater? - N/A. What artist do you love to sing along with? - MARILYN MANSON, TRENT REZNOR, ROB ZOMBIE, PETER STEELE, JAMES HETFIELD, DEPECHE MODE, DURAN DURAN, DOORS, ALICE IN CHAINS... 🤘😎🤘 What artist do you think has no right to be as popular as they are? - THAT OVERRATED BLOVIATING WINDBAG KANYE WEST. 😑😑😑😑😑 What’s a song that makes you cry?  😞😥😢💔 "I Love You Forever And Ever And Ever, Ma....." 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - https://youtu.be/45ft7onAhR4 What movie makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts? - I DON'T KNOW. I ACTUALLY *USED* TO LAUGH. I EVEN USED TO LAUGH *HARD* SOMETIMES, BUT THAT WAS YEARS AGO. I JUST DO NOT LAUGH ANYMORE LIKE I USED TO. I REALLY DON'T. JUST KNOWING THAT I'M CURSED TO BEING ON THE SAME FUCKING PLANET WITH MILLIONS OF UNFORGIVABLY-STUPID TRUMP SUPPORTERS HAS CERTAINLY KILLED MY HAPPYHEARTEDNESS. 😑😑😑😑😑 Are there any dance/action/fighting scenes from a movie you can perform? - HM...NO. Is there any movie you can quote word for word? - HA...I USED TO...MAYBE "BEETLEJUICE"..."STAR WARS"... +LOVE AND DATING. What do you think of kissing on the first date? - IT DEPENDS. MAYBE IF I ALREADY KNEW HER & HAVE ALWAYS LIKED HER THEN IT'D BE OKAY. EVEN HAVING SEX, HEH. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? - YEAH. UNREQUITED LUST TOO. Have you ever dreamt about your crush/significant other? - YUUUUUUUP. Was it a good dream, or a nightmare? - SEXCELLENCE! 🤩😍🥰🤩😍🥰🤩😍🥰 I HAD A *LOT* OF CRAZY SEXUAL DREAMS ABOUT CASSANDRA; A HOT SEXY OLDER BOSS OF MINE. GODDAMMIT, IF I EVER SEE HER AGAIN, I HOPE WE FUUUUUUUCK MAYBE THOUSANDS OF TIMES THIS TIME. GODDAMMIT, I *WILL* FUCK THE UNHOLY HELL OUTTA HER A LOT! 😝🤪😜😛😋🤩😍 Do the words “I Love You” scare you? - No. I DO NOT BLINDLY-LOVE PEOPLE, I DO NOT BLINDLY-BELIEVE IN LOVE EITHER. Have you ever wanted to ask someone out but didn’t? Why? - OH, YEAH...WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN GODDAMNED FUCKING *SHY*. BUT FOR A WHILE I ACTUALLY MADE MYSELF TO START ASKING GIRLS OUT, BUT SOMETHING ABOUT THAT JUST REALLY DOES *NOT* FEEL GENUINE TO ME. SO I JUST REVERTED BACK TO MY OWN NATURE. MY OWN FACTORY DEFAULT PROGRAMMING. HA. Have you ever been on a blind date? - UUUUUGH. 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 YES. SHE WAS *INSUFFERABLY-HORRID*. 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 I COULD *NOT* WAIT TO DROP HER HORRIBLE LITTLE AYASS BACK OFF TO HER HOME...WHICH I SUMMARILY DID POSTE HASTE AFTER THE CONCERT. UUUUUGH. 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 "FORGET about Me even taking you out to Dinner, Movie, & Whatever Else Later....." *sigh* 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑 #UGH! (I've actually written in-detail before about that particular Blind Date before. I won't here right now, though. Maybe I'll look for it & CopyPaste it here in my Blog again later) Does Interracial Sex interest you? -Haha...ummmmm...😛😜🤪😝😆 #iWantHotSexyChocolateDammit! 🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫!!!!!!!😍😋 Do you think Freckles are sexy? -Ohhhhh, Damn Sexy. Yeah.🤩😍🥰 I've seen some Superhot Sexy Women before with LLOTS Of Freckles, yup. #BOINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!! 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 #FRECKLEPALOOZA. #FRECKLELICIOUS. +THE PAST. What was your favorite childhood toy? - KITES! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 BABY BAT! 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇 Did you play with kids in your neighborhood when you were little? - YEAH. I MISS MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND, SALLY. I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH HER AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, HA...SHE LOOKS GREAT TO THIS DAY. SHE'S ONLY A YEAR OLDER. DAMN SEXY, PASSIONATE, HYPER, & FIT. 🥰 I'VE ACTUALLY FANTASIZED HAVING HOT GORGEOUS SINFUL SEX WITH HER A FEW TIMES, HA...MAYBE ONE DAY...🤩😍🥰 How many times have you moved? - 5. What were your “awkward years”? - 13 ON UP. Did you have a security blanket/stuffed animal you always slept with? - HA. YUP. GAMBI! HE'S A PLUSHIE STUFFED CLOWN SINCE I WAS 1. I THOUGHT HE LOOKED A BIT LIKE GUMBY SO I NAMED HIM GAMBI, HEH...STILL HAVE HIM! ❤💙❤💙❤💙❤ What was your favorite childhood TV show? - STAR TREK. 🖖😎 Movie? - 'CAT PEOPLE'. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 'THE HUNGER'. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 'THE CROW'. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 'BEETLEJUICE'. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 'THE MATRIX' MOVIES. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Did you have lots of new toys or hand-me-downs? - HM...HALF & HALF? I DIDN'T MIND USED TOYS. I EVEN PERSONALLY BOUGHT ME LOTS OF THEM TOO, HA. Is there anything you would change about your childhood if you could? - I G

Chauffeur wanted for tomorrow night 25/03/2023. You will be required to pick ME up from IG1 by 8.30pm and drop ME off at E11.  

  Believe it or not, this is my first journal entry. all this time I had no gotdarn clue how to use it. Well here I go.. So...what do you wanna talk about?  (Hands the mic to you)     

UPDATE 2/7/22: I am looking for somene to do what amounts to several hours of part-time, light grunt work alongside me as I complete tasks... It will be mostly moving things from point A to point B, up or down stairs, with frequent instances of waiting on me to do my part. I've been having thumb & wrist problems and can't do much in the way of grabbing things to move them myself. I have a lot to do, but it's pretty easy, and except for trips to the trash and recycling bins, will be indoors. I'm need someone that does the work without questioning my decisions, so someone in a submissive or slave mindset is preferable. We can chat, of course... I'm not going to discuss the "why" of what I'm working on, though. :) If you're vaccinated and in the Denver area, send me a message and let's negotiate something that's mutually beneficial!

I could Not update my profile without risking a long approval period, so I am updating here! my age is 47, not sure why that never updates. I am Heterosexual not pan sexual (not sure how that got changed). I am worth the time and effort, a one of a kind woman, who is not soon forgotten.  Looking for a male Dom in my area for real time. I am a sub, I will NOT send you dirty pics. Please be single and available, please be real, please be honest, please have your life together, as I do.  I am again looking for real time, would prefer a HOH type arrangement or relationship. Please be ready to verify who You are and meet within a reasonable timeframe! I am a loyal sub, I am kind and understanding, and mostly obedient ;).  I do not play games and expect you wouldn't want to either.  I like to travel, read, go to the beach, and write. I can hold a conversation. I hope you can as well!  I am passionate about this lifestyle and see it as a way of life, not a bedroom game.  thank you for looking at my profile! 

Again, it is sad and pathetic that I am having to make this journal entry. First, in no shape or form did it hurt My feelings. But his correspondence has actually made My day and just proves My view/point of men that contact Me.   Second, I do not have to respond to anyone that contacts Me. Just like it was your choice to go through all of the profiles until you find Mine and send a message.  So here is the secret, if it truly someone that I am interested in, I will see just how long he will go before he turns ugly, name calling, etc. Again, does NOT hurt My feelings.  his behavior actually makes Me feel sorry for him and I have no room for subs that I feel sorry for. A certain book about D/s, that was turned into a 3 part movie, has actually turned this lifestyle in a wild romper room of kinky sex.  A majority of the men that contact Me "say" they are not married but as things move along, the signs start popping up.  Hey guys, not My first rodeo okay?  ;-) Of course, sex is great, especially hot monkey sex.  Drop Me a line if you have no idea what that is.  But personally for ME, it is a state of mind.  So if you are looking for a Tuesday afternoon spank/sex romp, that's not going to happen so move onto the next profile.  Oh yes, if you live outside the US, I will not sponsor you so begging to be My house boy again is pathetic   So why am I posting this?  Because My favorite part of this lifestyle is training newbies.  But apparently, subs that have been in this lifestyle for over 15, 20, 30 years really need a refresher. After all of these years and you are still searching to be owned, you need to look at your approach to see if you come off desperate or even as a stalker.  Just putting it out there. Well today's lesson is over   Pain and Pleasure always,  Mistress Brenda  hopefully, autocorrect hasn't made Me look like uneducated.   :-)    

Oh, George… bless your heart for writing me a whole novel about how you want to “look into a sadistic woman’s eyes” while she perverts you into anal bliss. Truly poetic. But here’s the problem: you’re out here asking for a woman to host you for a month like you’re some kind of kinky exchange student, and all you’re offering is sexual gratification—as if women are sitting around saying, “You know what I need? A strange out-of-towner living in my house for 30 days to eat my food, hog my bathroom, and tell me how multicultural he is in between begging to be pegged.”   You spent time in multinational corporations? Cute. I’m sure your old coworkers will be thrilled to know you’re now out here writing essays about “soft sensual erotic rape play” and “verification photos” like you’re running a BDSM HR department. And let’s be honest—if the highlight of your pitch is “I’m not into pro dommes, but please abuse me sexually,” you might need to realize… sir, you are basically asking for free labor with room and board included.   It’s giving: “Hi, I’m George, I bring nothing but my dick, my mouth, and a suitcase of sci-fi DVDs. Please ruin me, host me, and feed me while I explore my journey.” My love, women are not Airbnbs for your perversion vacations. You wanting someone to host you for a month and offering nothing but orgasms is like me telling Amazon Prime, “I’ll pay for my package with good vibes and a smile.”   So, George, no—no sadistic woman is out here waiting for a floundering consultant to move into her house for a month-long pegging intensive. But I truly hope you find someone on Collarspace who’s willing to take on your… dissertation of desires. Godspeed.

Stop looking for women to do some specific sex act to you. Women in general prefer to have sex with their lovers. Not some random guy who just wants to experience pegging. Want to get pegged? Socialize and be active in kink communities, make friends of all kinds, network, until you find a woman you like who likes you back and enjoys pegging her lover, and grow a relationship that includes sex and pegging. Or find a reputable pro who provides pegging as a service and pay her.

Don't you, forget about me Don't, don't, don't, don'tDon't you, forget about me As you walk on byWill you call my name?As you walk on byWill you call my name?When you walk away Or will you walk away?Will you walk on by?Come on, call my nameWill you call my name? I sayLa, la-la-la-la, la-la-la-laLa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laLa-la-la-la, la-la-la-laLa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laLa-la-la-la, la-la-la-laLa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laWhen you walk on byAnd you call my nameWhen you walk on by                                                         SIMPLE MINDS 1985

  The slave contract.   Some people assume that, since "slavery" was outlawed (over a hundred years ago in most places), then "Consensual Slavery" is nothing more than "Role Playing"; that there cannot be any legal, lawful way to "own" another person. To the point of using the words: slave, slavery, and owner, you would be correct; these words are merely symbolic and have no legal meaning.   However, Consensual Slavery (or Voluntary Servitude) is legal, very real, and can be legally practiced. Can a person legally join the military?   If they do, are they allowed to just up and walk out any time they like without warning? Hm… They can't, right? Why not? I thought you said slavery was illegal? Well... That's right. The military does not practice slavery. Yet, in a very real sense, they do own you. However, they do not (and never would) call it slavery; they call it service. We will not go into the detailed specifics of what wording is used in a real Contract of Voluntary Servitude, but, rest assured, it is as binding as any application into the military. It is perfectly legal for a person to voluntarily forfeit their rights and be legally bound to serve, suffer and endure. Slavery is not about sex; nor is it about S&M.Yes, a slave may be disciplined and this discipline can take the form of sexually charged torture or tormenting. Of course an Owner can have sex with their slave,it's a given. But you don't need a slave to have sex or "play" S&M.If you are only interested in sex or S&M (or any combination thereof), I strongly recommend a visit to any of the places in Europe US, or Asia where (prostitution is legal and) you can, far more cheap and you can easily, get your needs fulfilled.   Total Control + Total Responsibility   By definition, a ‘slave’ is a piece of (movable) personal property (a.k.a. "chattel") owned by another person. A slave can be bought, sold or traded.While a slave may be cherished and cared for, a slave can also just as easily be misused and abused. Of course an owner can love their slave; nothing in the book says that an owner cannot love their slave. However, slavery does not require love.   Slavery is about control: the utter and total domination and control over another human being's life.   Slavery is also about responsibility: the utter and total responsibility of another human being's life.   There are two basic elements required of slavery:   1.) A slave.   2.) An owner capable to take the great responsibility of possessing a slave.   Illusions.   For the would-be slave, trust may be an issue prior to slavery, but it is an illusion.   Physical attraction may be an issue prior to slavery, but it is an illusion as well. In fact, everything and anything a would-be slave requires or desires, apart from their true and total commitment to actually being a real, owned slave, is an illusion.   Slavery is NOT about "romance".Sure, an Owner could romance or seduce a slave if they chose to, but romance and seduction are not "part and parcel" of slavery itself.   Slavery is about Ownership and servitude; any other element involved is something other than, or in addition to, slavery.   If a "slave" insists upon a requirement or a condition for, or on, their Ownership – they are seeking something other than slavery. Hm...Yes, it all sounds so terrifically unfair, doesn't it? An Owner can require and involve whatever they like in the “relationship” and a slave must endure and indulge whatever an Owner's whim might be. Ups... That almost sounds like, well... slavery! Doesn't it?   There is nothing at all that a slave can claim “entitlement” to; however, in an effort to demonstrate this, here is an extraordinarily brief list of things a slave is specifically not “entitled” to:   - Respect   - Honesty   - Affection   - Compassion   - Understanding   - Appreciation   - Courtesy   - Recognition   - Fidelity,Etcetera...   You may get all or none of the above. It is at the discretion of your Owner.  

RigidityI have recently discovered something about my psyche. I have a very rigid mind, or at least when it comes to roles. I like dominants to be dominant, and subs to be subs. I like hierarchies, both parties knowing their place makes a relationship work, i feelBut my mentality has a few downsides too: Once roles are realised, i don't know if i can ever see someone in a different light. If a dominant wants to submit for a change, i can't handle that, If they start acting contrary to their established role, it just causes damage to my mental image of that person, and my respect for them   I also group kinks into these rigid roles. There are a variety of things that i feel are "submissive acts", and a dominant doing them makes me uncomfortable in the same way, even if they are just doing the things they want to do. These include things like: -consuming urine -wearing chastity -Worshipping feet -being penetrated -Begging, or pleading   And to a certain lesser extent, rimming and giving oral The list is not exhaustive These are all things that i, as a sub, am generally comfortable and happy with, But i can't really deal with a dominant choosing or maybe even wanting to do these things, it feels wrong. Amd I get "the ick" These have largely not been a problem, but there are a few edge cases where i talk to someone promising, and then they reveal wanting to do stuff like this, and it kills everyting. Not all at once though, i try to explain whats wrong, they usually understand, don't talk about those desires again for a while. But unfulfilled desire always resurface, and someone who wants to be penetrated is eventually going to ask me again to do it. And again, and again.   I guess we can say that "dominants doing submissive things" is one of my hard limits. it makes me irreconcileably uncomfortable and wears down the respect i have for a person.   I dont think i can change the way i think,maybe others can't either. i'm seeking a dominant who likes this kind of rigid hierarchy too.

Having spoken to you for a few weeks now, we understand each other. Our face to face meeting is at hand. I know what motivates your need to serve and please your man. In the vanilla world, you have confidence - or at least a veneer of confidence you maintain - but internally you feel yourself unsure, uncertain and that sometimes you just want to run away. I pick you up, dust you down with warm encouraging words, embracing you as you feel the strength of me and know I give you care and comfort. I know you. I know your thoughts, I know your experiences and I know what you need from me. I know your hard limits and the agreed safe signals.  We share a strong connection already. We have an emotional bond and an excitement between us as we plan to become a unity, planning our homelife and talking about our values of partnership and family together. I value your intelligence, your feminine elegance and your utter submission to me, only me. Your devotion, loyalty and eagerness to please whilst still maintaining your vanilla pride and confidence - I respect that and appreciate those qualities. You enjoy the guidance I give you, my mentoring, the boundaries that I give you and my affection.  Soon, you will arrive. We have discussed this many times. We know what to expect of each other, and yet, there is still that excitement. I hear footsteps approach my front door ... 

        Here is a slightly updated profile for me, while I work on submiting the final one in for approval: Looking for sub or slave, rope bunny degradee type girl that likes spankings, for serious long term relationship.Some of my favorite kinky things are giving spankings with my bare hand, riding crops, floggers, canes and paddles, impact play in general, along with rope and restraint play. You should probably like those things too. Some rougher things I like are heavy impact play, face fucking til they puke (but not required), face slapping, knife play, degradation giving, spitting, and peeing on you occasionally (maybe while tied to a tree).I can host and play casually / socially, but ideally I find a long term partner to live together with at some point. I can supply room and board at minimum for my sub/slave if needed, (if you're into living arrangements). Feel free to have your own life as well though.. You would be mainly in charge of some simple chores and taking care of some needs, we can both work on having a wonderful life and achieving our goals.Im a dominant Fox at heart. There will be days you have to take care of me in return. I am a very sensual and sensitive person but also a hard handed when I need to be kind of person. respect and love always. Vanilla life: I have a college degree and a place to live. I drive. I like to cook, bbq grill in the summer. I like to hike and explore new places (you should like outdoor play), ride dirt bikes, go to drive in movies and out to events sometimes and dressing up for Halloween! I like cute date things, let me take you out and show you off to the world.? I play instruments and make music as well, I also like to paint. Creativity is Key. If you are into rubber/Latex fashions thats a plus. Let me buy you outfits to wear as a reward.?thank you for reading.        

Who knew so many here were full of bull crap?  I honestly didnt believe a friend when he said that the amount of submissive men who actually show up from this country is laughable, never mind from another country. You guys are something else and unfortunately really sour the landscape here with your empty promises.  Good riddance I say, but what a waste of brain cells.  Regardless, the reigns are tightening up.  Funny thing, sincere men don't hesitate when called to action. Most of yall kid yourself into thinking your are submissive or slave (LOL) and that you worship women or worse yet, you convince yourself you are different from all the rest.  Stop lying to yourself and everyone else.  You are here to satisfy you and only you and are ruled by your cocks and expend every effort to satisfy YOU.  Help Me, again laughable. True submission is not about you.  If you believe your submission is a gift to be treasured, pass Me by.   Watch out ladies!  Get proof straight away and know that geniune and sincere men are not only a rarity, they have no issue verifying who and what they are straight away. They are supportive and uplifting, seeking out the ways in which to be of service and benefit to you.  

  A touch A kiss I didn’t know such passion could exist   A faint glow A little light A fire is now blazing in the night   A growl A grip A forward thrust of the hip   A whimper A moan A screaming of your name   A touch A kiss I didn’t know such passion could exist  

My Future Mistress I sometimes daydream about you. It is amazing how someone can become so part of your blood. I realize that you will naturally have such a deep power over me. My slave heart would easily recognize you by your demeanor. A mere gaze from you would steal my will like losing my breath, I would be captured. I would involuntarily tremble with an intense excitement and vulnerability, knowing that you own me so naturally. Furthermore, I would feel myself beginning to kneel at your feet hopelessly enamored, as if your presence alone had instructed me to do so. As if my soul was specially synced and celebrated with yours as its only primary user. My soul would be glued to yours, anticipating whatever your will was for me, and then obeying you with such zeal, that there wouldn't ever be a question of whether I'd comply. Your life would become my life. I would not have a life of my own anymore, but my purpose would be something you own. Your world would be my world, and your goals would become my goals to help you achieve. There is so much generic role playing in this lifestyle, driven primarily by sexual kinks. But what I would be feeling at this moment, is not what I could do for myself, but what I could do for my Queen. It would be the epitome of subspace. My eyes would search yours, hoping you truly see that I am genuinely connected and at your disposal. My heart would only be quenched by receiving your approval and acceptance. A person can not truly own anyone unless they first own their soul.  

We all know this time of the year - sometimes happy, sometimes sad.  I'm comforted knowing that every Christmas I've had has been blessed by My mother and her love of Me.  No more gifts, no more memory or shopping or preparing or sharing - yet when My mother was in her right mind and health, WOW did she put on a show for her one and only!  Sometime leading up to Christmas, My mother would arrive with a S T A C K of presents, all wrapped in the same paper, piled at least 4 feet and wrapped with large ribbon on both sides.  Atop the stack, would look like firecrackers were going off with so much fluff and stuff!  Christmas morning I would always have to open two to everyone elses one because I had so many gifts from here.  Of course she would make a stack for each of her special people, but there piles were smaller, maybe sometimes halfway up the' tower for Powers' lol  I would always be very smiley and gracious becasue I knew how loved I was - not about the amount of gifts (for many were the very simpliest of novelties) but because she always made My existence about Pomp and Circumstance.  I have known a very deep and abiding love by both of My parents and I am grateful and I miss them very much. Merry Christmas to all.  Even if it is not that merry, know you are not alone and your life and person have meaning and importance. May this New Year bring us all the joy we can handle - wellness body, mind and spirit. As always, thank you for sharing with Me and My very best to you all.

I've been back and forth, since before Thanksgiving , with the contract I have on a cabin In WV. Unfortunately the agent was a flake. Over the years , I've bought and sold homes. This agent was a hot mess. Finally had to get the broker involved, and replace the her.   The present one is on the ball. D and I drove to the cabin and he checked it top to bottom. There were concerns from the home inspection, and he calmed my mind. He said the place had great bones, the windows were all in good shape, the hot water heater was two years old , gas furnace will out live me, metal roof is fairly new... There is a cottage on the property, off the back set back from the cabin.  Its about eight hundred sq. feet , plus a screened in front porch! Perfect for my father, and he can't fall off. It has a kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom and full bath. It too has a new metal roof.   Added an addendum  for a few things, we'll see if they accept or counter. Saying a little prayer and crossing my fingers.   M.

It seems no one can help me now I'm in too deep There's no way out This time I have really led myself astray Runaway train never going back Wrong way on a one way track Seems like I should be getting somewhere Somehow I'm neither here nor there

automatic dishwasher Ingrid Bellemare from her book "Owning and Training a Male Slave". “Having a slave is like having an automatic dishwasher: set it up and make it do the work. It is there to serve your needs. If something is not working right take corrective action until it's fixed”    

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

My primary focus is on improving myself, my life, and my finances as I need my own business(es) going to get the fuck off SSI. I like to go out and do things.    Not just sex.  Like really, to all the men who think offering their random tongue to be used is attractive, it absolutely is not.  Buy some dental dams if you are tongue slut.   My first thought is how many std's do you have!?!?!    You can get them from oral sex and people who are full on adults who think about sex primarily, turn me off.  I understand it from teens to 30's... when you get to 40's or older, you had better have a lot more to talk about, think about and exist for you to to talk to me.    I got so bored with my last toy because he was ONLY a walking fucktoy, with paranoid delusions. The mind is a massive playground and you miss out just thinking about actual physical sex.  Lola the Iron Mistress  

In the tapestry of relationships, polyamory stands out as a distinct weave, one that has graced my life in unexpected ways. Today, I sit back to reflect on my experiences in MfM and fMf dynamics and the deeply transformative impact they have had on me.   Poly relationships, particularly those involving MfM or fMf dynamics, are not merely about the number of partners but the depth of connection, understanding, and mutual respect. I've always felt a special allure towards such relationships. It's an intricate dance of balance, emotion, and trust.   James, my late husband, played an instrumental role in my introduction to this world. He wasn't just my husband; he was a guiding force, teaching me the beauty of unconditional love, free from societal shackles. The way he introduced me to the world of BDSM, and by extension, poly dynamics, was subtle, considerate, and built on a foundation of trust. It wasn't about sharing for sharing's sake, but about expanding our horizons, about understanding that love isn't finite, and that sharing doesn't diminish but rather amplifies affection.   I remember our first experience. The trust between James and me was the anchor, holding us steady amidst the tumultuous waves of uncertainty. He would often whisper affirmations in my ear, reminding me of my worth, my beauty, and my agency. "You are in control," he would say, even when introducing me to a new partner. This wasn't about him, or even about the new partner; it was about *us*, as a unit, exploring, learning, and growing.   In an fMf dynamic, there was a certain softness, a delicate touch. The presence of another woman introduced a different layer of intimacy. It was in these moments that I found a sisterly bond, a deep understanding, which went beyond the realms of physicality. On the other hand, the MfM dynamic provided a sense of security, of being cherished, surrounded by an aura of protection from both sides.   But why do I like it? It's the feeling of expansiveness, the sensation that my heart isn't confined to a singular beat but reverberates with multiple rhythms. James ensured that I never felt ified. It wasn't about mere physicality but an exploration of emotions, boundaries, and profound connections. The journey made me more comfortable in my skin, understanding and accepting my desires, and seeing them not as taboo but as natural extensions of my persona.   James always reminded me of my worth. His unwavering support ensured I never felt "less than" or "used." Each experience was a shared one, a journey that we undertook together. There were moments of doubt, of course, moments where societal conditioning would seep in, whispering words of judgment. But with James by my side, those whispers were quickly silenced. His belief in the beauty and authenticity of our choices bolstered my confidence.   In the end, poly dynamics taught me the multifaceted nature of love. They made me realize that love isn't a zero-sum game. One can love multiple people, in varied ways, without diminishing the love for any single individual. It's about expansion, about realizing the boundless capacity of the human heart.   In these relationships, I've learned more about myself than I ever imagined. They taught me resilience, understanding, and most importantly, self-acceptance. Through the layers of shared experiences, laughter, tears, and deep conversations, I found a version of myself that's unapologetic, bold, and incredibly comfortable in her skin.  

The amount of people submitting payment requests for preorders on FYF is comical. ROFL Just to be sure, Ive been sending out the necessary releases to My people enmasse so they can be prepared for all possibilities.  Honestly, ya'll have Me laughing-snorting with how serious you take Me. Its inspiring and hilarious. Onward and upward. Applying to Me is not a walk in the park.  You have to jump through the hoops I set for you and you may never understand why I do what I door how I do or when I do.  This part is not about you getting it...it is about Me getting what I want in order to assess your ability to serve Me and Mine for life. Think rabbit hole, think nude, think entirely enslaved.  Then you might come close to what I am thinking and what I am looking for. Be sane, be real, be someone who can share in a telephone conversation, be someone who can move between worlds - or decidely be an object in My menagerie - still sane & real.

Collarspace guidelines prohibit "trans exclusionary hate speech, consensual non-consensent, things which are unlawful, othering, culturally insensitive or hurtful". This and similar is common across social media. It's as if PC Principal has invaded and occupied our online spaces: https://youtu.be/Vvc1nxlJb-o?si=Jn3aS5FR-HX_E-8F

TO ANYONE WHO BLOCKED ME OR GHOSTED ME Thank you. When a person ghosts or blocks me I think it says more about them than it does about me. When someone ghosts or blocks me I say a little prayer. Well, that's not the first thing I do. The first thing I do is to probably to say a few little curse words --- just a few of my favorites --- and then I say a little prayer. I say the prayer because I am thankful that I dodged a bullet. I think that people who ghost or block others are weak and cowardly. They don't have the strength of character, integrity, honesty, or courage that I want, in fact, require in anyone that I am associated with whether it be a friend, a submissive, a colleague, or anyone else. They are doing me a favor by ghosting or blocking me because I am better off without them.  

More and more, I'm seeing females talking about wanting to go back to a '50's household.  Usually, they are over 30, having failed to get the free ride our society says is owed them.  Typical.  Things are getting rough.  And instead of taking responsibility for their actions or in-actions, they want to "re-negotiate" and go back to a time where they can just stay home while their husband works 60+ hours to pay for everything, including a maid to come in and do all the cleaning, because she's above all that.  Which will allow them to complain about their husbands never being home to give them an excuse to cheat on them with the whomever.  And then divorce them, taking half plus alimony.  So no.  No man should even consider that.  You want a "50's" relationship?  Sure.  50 BC, Roman Republic time.  You want what we got, including protection from what's right around the corner according to most pundits right now?  Prove your worth to us.  I'm not negotiating. 

This happened to me some years ago now but still remains in my memory as one of the my most embarrassing but exciting experiences. I was staying with my BF at his house for a couple of weeks. He only lived a short drive from the sea and we occasionally went for a walk on the beach. One day he announced that he thought that because of my behavior I was in need of a spanking which is something, I might add, that he did to me almost on a daily basis, and he decided we were going for a beach walk and he was going to give me a public spanking. Well, he had never done that before, I always got spanked in private usually in the bedroom or the lounge room and I was a bit dubious and rather nervous about it and what the public reaction might be and I said so. He just said well that’s tough girl that’s what’s going to happen to you and I knew there was no arguing with him, his word was law in his house (and out of it). I pouted at him a little and tried to argue further but of course it made no difference, in fact it probably made it worse for me. I was dressed in a summery, flowery mini dress, it was summertime, that flared from under my bust and only just covered my bum. Underneath I only had on my bra and panties, with my beach walking sandals on my feet. He was wearing cargo shorts and a tee shirt and to my alarm was carrying a cane in his hand as we went out the door. I said you’re not taking that with you are you! He just told me to shut up and get in the car. I did so, still pouting, which was about the only sort of defiance I could hope to get away with without risking getting a slap. I put on my seat belt and sat in nervous silence staring at my bare legs as he drove us to the beach. My mind was in a bit of a turmoil as I thought about what he said he was going to do to me but I did begin to find it curiously exciting and arousing even thinking about which panties I was wearing if they were going to be seen. Ok, out you get he said to me as we parked in the beachside carpark. He emerged from the car carrying the cane quite openly. I was quietly amused and aroused at his confidence and audacity as he walked down the sandy track to the beach proper, cane in one hand and towing me along behind him with the other. The sky was a clear bright blue with a few fluffy little clouds scudding across it. I now felt very nervously alive and excited at the thought of what was to come. The surf was crashing noisily onto the beach and the cool breeze blew through my hair and lifted up my dress forcing me to do a Marylyn Munroe seven year itch sort of pose to keep it down. To my relief the beach was not all that crowded, just a few people scattered around but there was a roadwork gang working on the road that ran alongside the beach and I could feel those guys already taking an interest in me with my attempts to keep my dress in place. We walked up the beach past the road work crew and the beach sunbathers to a rocky area at one end which was some distance from anybody else but definitely not completely out of sight. He sat on a conveniently placed large rock and I petitely sat down in the sand next to him and shading my eyes with my hand looked out to sea where a fishing boat was underway bobbing up and down in the swell. We sat like that in silence for a little while then he turned to me and in a rather soft sexy voice started to admonish me for what he called my lack of respect and disobedience over the last couple of days and how I needed to be taught a lesson, spare the rod and spoil the girl sort of stuff. I squirmed around a little as I listened to him knowing that he was right I had not been obeying him as instantly as I should have been doing, even occasionally arguing with him and that I did deserve what I was about to get. I looked across the beach towards the fairly distant beachgoers we had passed and then to the work gang on the road, also fairly distant from us now, but nobody seemed to be taking any notice of us. He took hold of my shoulder length blonde hair at the back of my neck then slowly but deliberately forced my head back until I was staring at that vivid blue sky. Automatically I twisted my head to try to get away from him but this just made him firm up his grip on my hair until it hurt and I stopped resisting him. Still using my hair to control me he pulled me across his knees and held me there. My flared dress was so short that it was already up round my waist. I felt his hand caress my bum through my satin panties and his fingers went down between my legs. I was already a teeny bit aroused by all this and by his power and confidence in what he was doing and it was now all I could do to prevent myself from squealing out loud. I just sighed instead. Then he started to spank me. He had large powerful hands and it always hurt. Each smack across my bum sent pain shooting through me making me g. I kept my hands in front of me, palms on the sand sort of balancing myself over his knees, I knew better than to try and protect my bottom with my hands. Then he hooked his thumb into the waistband of my panties and pulled them down until they were stretched tight across my mid thighs and continued spanking my now naked bum. He had pulled me across his knees facing away from the distant beachgoers and work gang but still in sight of them and I remember hoping that someone didn’t think that I was being assaulted and call the police, the last thing I wanted to face as we got back to the car would be a couple of grinning cops waiting for us and having to explain

Feeding on the crumbs and starving She embraces different experiences with different people in different situations trying to quench the thirst that keeps building inside her. She wants to be in a collar on her knees .... she longs to feel her submission again, to turn over the reins that strangle her and hold her in top space. She understands her value in top space but it doesn’t feed her soul. She has been looking for years for the situation to change ..... thinking it will happen when its suppose to happen until then trying to feed her hidden side from the crumbs left about in these different situations. A little submission here, a little consensual non consensual there, just small almost minuscule crumbs. There are days where she decides it just isn’t a part of her anymore and she pushes away the feeling refusing to let it in and sometimes she succeeds for a while but the void continues to grow, the walls fall in on her and its the only thought in her mind. That is when it consumes her cruelty reminding her of her needs, her feelings, and her memories. Like a movie you cant turn off...... she can see herself so vividly, she can feel the feelings she once felt, she can taste the release in her obedience, she remembers being engulfed in him and in that moment she worried only for his want in her. She is coming back out slowly, kind of scared and kinda lurking. What drives her, what pushes her is the fire that burns, the thoughts she cant get out of her head, the feelings that linger like a drug to an addict ..... she is close to self domination for the first time in her life which is a very confusing thought for her ... she holds on gring at straws and living in her dreams...she doesn’t know how to approach people, she doesn’t know how to get close to people and she cant automatically trust .... these things will leave her with herself, her memories, her dreams

When I say I want local people to serve, I mean it. If you write to Me and don't meet My requirements, I do not OWE you a response. My profile clearly states what I want, and ANYTHING other than that goes in the trash can. I get stood up, and I do not expect a WHY. I get ghosted, and rather than be some stalker, I never write them again. It is easy to move on if YOU want to move on!  

Fear the past: In the shadows of my past, a man filled with rage, Terrified of losing control, trapped in a cage. Once consumed by anger, consumed by hate, Afraid to unlock the demons, their destructive fate.   Like a storm on the horizon, brewing deep within, Memories of the past, where darkness had been. Fear grips my heart, as I walk this fragile line, Afraid to slip back, to a time so unkind.   But in the depths of despair, a flicker of hope, A light in the darkness, a way to cope. I find strength in the present, in the love that surrounds, A new path forward, where solace abounds.   Though the fears may linger, like shadows in the night, I choose to face them, to stand and fight. For within me lies the power to change, To break free from the past, to find a new range.   So I tread this path with caution, with courage by my side, Facing my fears head-on, with nowhere to hide. For in embracing my vulnerability, I find my true self, A man reborn, no longer trapped by anger's stealth.

12/04/2021   After a long ass time, I've finally returned to the site, to find the best possible option available to me, a journal entry system. I'll start by clarifying a few things, since I seem to get enough messages, no I am not a bot, yes I can tell when someone is a bot, and no I did not originally write the initial profile descriptions.  To be blunt, I was not the most supportive person when it came to this site, and didn't feel like getting involved. However, my former partners at the time, far more reserved than they come to appear in older versions of the profile, disagreed and decided that I need to replace them with someone else.  I am looking for a partner to have fun with, but more than that, I am looking to continue experiencing life...which hasn't been easy these last two years. Just when I was getting more involved on this site, the pandemic hit and made some things more difficult. I will admit to still looking for a creative "excercise" partner, and welcome anyone who'd like to join me.A lot of people had similar issues it seems, but I'll be here, clean and vaccinated, being as safe as I can and encourage all others to be the same.    Onto the juicy bits if y'all are still reading. I am still an Active Dom, last two years were rough but not without some interesting meetups, you'd be surprised at how many submissives are in the medical field and are desperate for some kind of release and feed into their fetish to alieviate the issues as of late, and I can't say I blame them given what I've seen of the emergency wards and the Covid floors.  Though my original profile entry is a bit more crass and disjointed than I'd have liked, I am still looking forward to meeting some folks here, and would more than welcome the opporotunity to engage in the community once more, Send me a message if ya wanna chat, game, or do whatever.

By believing that submission must be pursued, to any degree, is to reframe dominance and submission as a typical relationship and its not. Dominance doesnt pursue. Submission doesnt need to be pursued. Submission comes to dominance in this dynamic. It has to. Submission is given, won over even, but the same goes for dominance. As much as she must be convinced by his dominance, he must believe her submission meets his needs or can be molded to do so. What remains is the initial approach, and it is simply ego on the part of the submissive to believe what she offers is more important, more valuable and harder to come by, than what he offers. Consider how many suitors a submissive no doubt has flood her inbox here, how many obvious frauds, bullshit artists, misogynists, egotists etc that she has cast a dismissive eye over. What happens if/when you find one that calls to you? Will you wait in the hope or expectation he will approach, or will you decide to present to him? Of course, this probably explains why the place by my side is empty and I have to fetch my own pipe and slippers. Such is life.

Struggles of a Sapiosexual/Demisexual in a Hyper-Sexual WorldAs I have matured thru the years, it's now clear that without finding someone mentally, and emotionally attractive, it all just feels somehow incomplete. Without some connection to a real person with a genuine personality, they can be pretty and sexy, but . . . It really doesn't do it for me.And here in lies the problem.In today's hyper-sexual, transactional and instant-gratification society, how does someone like me, take the time to connect with another before the tug of physical exceptions frustrate the individual and kill the tempo.Yeah, I know. Its easy to say, I'm just not finding the right people who are also Sapiosexual/Demisexual, but we all know everyone is comprised of shades of grey and even those who lean in that direction feel the pressure of the "quick-fix".Not sure what to actually do about it, other than to continue to be clear up front about who I am, what my needs are during the "approach" and look harder for alignment with the individuals I talk with.But it is still frustrating.

It’s been a little while and I want to go over the rules about permission again. “Okay, but… did I make a mistake?” No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to make sure we go over this now and then so I know you understand and remember it completely. “Okay. May I edge please?” No. No touching right now. “But-” I said no. “Okay.” Now. What do you remember about how permission works? “Um… I need your permission to touch and to cum.” That’s true. “And to use the bathroom or spend any money over twenty dollars, and-” That’s all true, but that’s not what I’m talking about today. “It’s not?” No. I’m talking about the other kind of permission. “The other…? Oh! Sir, no. I don’t like talking about that.” I know you don’t. But it’s important. “Sir, please. You have permission for everything always.” No. That’s not how it works. Now that kind of talk only lets me know how important it is to go over this again.

 skinprof 

Seller accepted everything I wanted.. Down to the last details. In underwriting and waiting for a closing date. This limbo has been emotionally draining. I have clients who are sticking by me, wondering if they have one more appt. , or am I leaving. It seems it will be soon, just don't know when.   I have all sorts of emotions.  I'm feeling  so ambivalent  and anxious. I'm stepping so far out of my comfort zone.  I will know noone, will have to learn a whole new area. Grow a circle of new friends, find doctors, dentists, car maintenance, vet, etc etc. I will be setting a cottage for my dad, finding a caretaker for the weekends, and setting up braille lessons for him. There will be much to do, packing, loading moving, unloading unpacking, arranging. On top of this , I'll be going into growing season, which means I will have a lawn on top of landscaping and gardening !  What was I thinking? I'm not 30 😆 I'm  going to miss many of my clients,  they have become special to me.  My friends  too ! The comfort of familiarity and confidence in my knowledge of my area.  I'm a native to my part of the state. I will not miss the politics of the DC area. I've watched it become so contentious and intolerant. I'm so sick of the constant drum beat of pernicious propaganda.