I am searching for a possible 3rd s-type person to add to my life. If you are a cis male it is strictly service based and it would be every other week. Must be local and live nearby. If you are a cis female I am open to a d/s dynamic if a connection is made. While I like women I need to have a mental/physical connection to be in a relationship with them. Please read all of my journal entries before contacting me. There are more pics and additional information about me on my Fetlife profile.  https://fetlife.com/users/497253

Her OK Space is a place where she is just getting a chance to be, be herself, be friends, be play-partners or be aware of her changing needs. She feels a change as she floats around having new experiences and enjoying all her new friendships. She no longer feels the need to be protected or guided by a hand. She was mostly into the strict Daddy-Master TPE type of dynamic but she is deciding not to look for that dynamic right now. She has decided to let herself grow and embrace new experiences, new people, and different kinds of play. Her play before was only about pleasing her Master but now she is deciding to venture out and play for herself. That selfish bitch, Yup she is but ethically so..... What makes it different for her is, doing it for the experience of something that catches her eye and is offered not in a service-type dynamic but because she wants to play with the person that has offered. It can be equated with flicking your own bean for the first time for the ladies but for the men, the first-time masturbating is your example. She has always held back until a connection was formed thinking that it would eventually happen but in most cases it never did. She missed out on many great opportunities because of wanting to stay in her comfort zone. She was addicted to safe and secure relationships because there was less chance of getting truly hurt. She was wrong and now reflaspects and decides to move forward dancing and full of life. A thirst for adventure, a thirst for experience, and an appetite for fun. She has decided that if any type of relationship forms it will be because it organically came about not because of need but want. She will fill her need herself. She is happy in her OK Space, a space for her to explore, a space for different opportunities, and a place where she holds her wheel and drives for a bit.... limitless ( with the exception of her hubby that is....). He holds complete power over her so he will keep her poised and somewhat balanced.

Something that might be useful to consider - When you write someone, especially a femme presenting person on here who is probably drowning in crap emails,  and you say any variation of "love your profile" or "I read your profile" - we can look at Who's Viewing Me? with just a simple click of the mouse, to SEE if you actually read that profile. If your name isn't there, then we know without any further effort that you are  1) a liar who will say whatever they think will get their dick wet and 2) lazy. You couldn't even put in the 3 to 5 minute effort to read and find out who we are before lying. Add in that most of us put something in the profile to sort out the time wasters, like a code word or request. That way we can see at a glance, often without even opening the email and just hovering our mouse over it, if the email has that code word or request honored. Which means only people (guys) that actually make that effort will get read or responded to. Because I can tell you after nearly 20 years on this site that the guys who don't read your profile NEVER show up. At all. They almost to a man write minimal responses to any reply they get, always about what they want done to them, and they are usualy just wanting free phone sex at most. They are a waste of time and effort, because they aren't here for actual BDSM or any variation thereof. No one wants to cater to that. Which is why we usually just delete the email without reading further.  If you actually DO want to find a BDSM partner, you need to make that effort, READ that full profile, and figure out if the person behind that pretty picture is actualy compatible with your interests, then write a REAL email to that human being much like if you walked up to them on the street, mentioning whatever code words or requests are in it, and what it was that you offer that they are wanting.  I know its slow and frustrating and a lot of work, but the alternative is being the spammer that everyone deletes automatically.

  I keep putting off posting here but a few people keep reminding me so here’s a bit of an update on my life.. As my profile and prior journal entry says, I’m owned (full time and live-in) by a couple and part of their household. This position is a lot different than my prior ownership position but I was expecting that. I function as the alpha in the household but I’m inexperienced in that position so it’s been a steep learning curve. They have great faith in me and my potential so who am I to question that? ;) The household is much more steeped in the harder core end of the BDSM spectrum. And by that I mean that it’s not just an occasional role play type thing or the D/s “lifestyle” thing with inane rule lectures or protocols and such. Well, to be fair, my prior ownership situation was similar in that way too but I was also in college at the time so there was a lot of time spent out of the house in the vanilla world. In large part, my decision to take on the position was because it was a more edgy and realistic situation than the more mainstream “lifestyle” stuff I’ve encountered. I suspect this is going to get horribly hacked up here so I'll leave more until later...  

I don’t know how to exist inside my own skin right now. My body hurts constantly—every joint, every nerve buzzing or burning in some private hell—and yet my emotions are stuck in this flat, gray fog. It feels like I’m floating a few feet outside of myself, detached, watching someone else limp through my days. I’m supposed to care about things, supposed to feel urgency, supposed to feel desire, but mostly I just feel… blank. A haze. The hardest part is intimacy. Sex has always been a cornerstone of my identity, something that made me feel alive, connected, real. Now I lie beside people I love, people I want to want, and it’s like my body is a locked door. My brain remembers what it’s like to crave, but the signal doesn’t make it through. Instead I get this sense of obligation—this is who you are, this is what they expect, this is what you should be doing—while my body and spirit just won’t answer. I go through motions, or avoid them, and either way I feel like a fraud. It’s disorienting: physical pain screaming from one side, emotional numbness pressing from the other. I’m caught in between, unable to move fully toward either. I don’t know how to bridge that gap, how to show up in love when I’m not even present in myself. Some nights I wonder if this is permanent. If I’ll always be half-alive like this, longing for connection in theory but unable to touch it in practice. I miss desire like an old friend I can’t remember the face of. For now, all I can do is write it here, admit it to myself. Maybe that’s a start.

Bridget Choses Enslavement   Bridget’s emotions were running wild.  The ride up to Master’s gave her ample time to reflect on this special occasion.  Bridget was to be enslaved today.  Master had often told her that all women secretly wanted to be possessed and owned by a dominant master.  Collared.  Be an enslaved slut.  Bridget had embraced her inner slave and wanted the delicious certainty of being a strong Master’s owned property.  What a glorious feeling to have no need to carry on with the soul killing charade of denying her sexuality, her submission, her needs and desires. Bridget was so sure.  She couldn’t wait for their special ritual.  The ritual was ordered by her Master but she had made adjustments and additions that had delighted Master.  She knew Master treasured her and all of her. He often remarked on her intelligence and how it drove her kink and also drove his passion to be her owner.  Master always said women with a desire for the collar, for enslavement were usually the very intelligent ones.   Before she left home Bridget paid attention in the shower.  Her shaving was meticulous. Her legs, arms, and pussy were smooth as possible. She thrilled at the thought of the way Master would cup her smooth, oiled pussy and run his hand back and forth as she squirmed and moaned. She knew Master loved to lick and kiss her clit.  He also like to use his Hitachi and a soft makeup brush on her.  He’d alternate the vibrator and brush on her clit.  Sometimes he’d just stop and listen to her breathing.  Bridget loved it when he chained her wrists and ankles in his bed and made her come over and over until she screamed.  He’d gag and blindfold her and make her come some more. Master had learned early in their play to put a towel under her.  The wet spot was something to see. Bridget’s enslavement ritual outfit was all white and had been her idea.  Master had suggested adding long white gloves and she agreed with relish.  Once out of the shower, at Master’s direction, she installed two Ben Wa balls in her pussy.  They went in nicely.  When she walked around she could feel them as she moved.  She wondered if walking in heels would accentuate the sensation.  Oh well, she’d find out soon.  Bridget loved Master’s toy collection.  He had a veritable fleet of vibrators including a very useful remote controlled beauty.  Master said he was shopping for an internet controlled vibrator for some long distance fun.  He also had a selection of nipple clamps, some fun and some she feared.  There was a lot more and she was sure the list was growing After carefully pulling on her white stockings and attaching them to her sexy garter she slipped on her skimpy white panties.  A curvy white push up bra completed her underwear.  She had a nice white blouse with a plunging neckline that accentuated her cleavage. Her brief white skirt would expose her slim legs and white stockings.  Finally she slipped on her white high heels with thosecute sexy little ankle straps.  Naturally she added accessories like a string of pearls and a bright red lipstick.  She decided she’d add her fragrance and put on the white gloves when she arrived at Masters. The miles rolled by.  Her heart sang.  She had made her decision.  It felt so right.  All the things she wanted to experience would be hers in a safe and protected place.  Master would help to explore all the dark kinky places she dreamed about.   The highway intersection appeared on her GPS. She had to turn north.   It was time to call Master.  She heard the phone ring.  Her emotions ping ponged.  Master answered with a pleased voice.  She was close.  He could almost sense her.  They both reveled in the joy of anticipation.     Master remarked that he was looking forward to draping her with his new 1/8” stainless steel chain.  Perhaps chaining her breasts with a nice halter.  When he mentioned that he’d like to chain her in Sirik Bridget’s was incredibly turned on.  The thought of the chain running from her collar to the chained wrist manacles and finally ending on the ankle manacles.  Sirik chain bondage allowed movement but served to remind her that she was owned, protected property.  Master loved everything Gorean and spent a lot of time finding ways to practically adapt the mores of Gor to earth.  A significant Gorean notion is that bondage enhances a woman’s beauty.  Bridget agreed but also concluded bondage made her horny as hell. The rural setting, the trees, the quiet appealed to her.  Here’s the driveway.  Turning right and pulling up the long driveway she found herself next to Master’s car and she knew, the beginning of her life changing event was close at hand.  She put her car in park and applied the parkingbreak.  She felt that she also applied a break on her normal, vanilla life.  She would enter the BDSM Sea.  Enter it as one of the more exotic and nuanced denizens.  She would be a slave girl, specifically a Kajira, a Gorean slave.  Bridget and Master had discussed many aspects of enslavement, slave protocols, sexual ownership, and what they each wanted.  She agreed with Master that after all, it was at its heart, an exotic adult game.  They both knew few could play the game, few could accept their role, and few could adhere to the rules and enjoy them with intense satisfaction.  Bridget loved her role and while their private play was so satisfying, she looked forward to their forays into various forms of public play.  Public Play involved exposing part of her BDSM life to the vanilla world.  Bridget always found it surprising.  She couldn’t believe the naughty sense of excitement she felt when she was exposed.  Was it humiliation, she wasn’t sure but it was very kinky indeed. She applied the bright red lipstick.  She loved the color and loved that her Master had told her he loved bright paint on her lips.  He said she was so attractive and luscious and he wanted her lips prominently displayed for him.  Next her fragrance, chosen because it was both understated and exotic.  At last she pulled on the long white gloves that came up to her elbows. Bridget and Master had discussed how she’d wear the long white gloves and he’d hogtie her and use his ball gag.  The picture in her mind of the helpless position always made her wet and horny.  Master had done this before.  Usually he rubbed a rabbit fur all over her body before he pulled her hair and squeezed her tit while he told her how he felt, what he wanted, and what he’d do with her next. As she turned toward the house she found the garage door open and as she had been instructed, she entered the garage and went to the back door leading into Master’s Rec room.  The lighting was subdued but she saw two large shapes draped in thin cloth.  She knew these were their BDSM toys.  Master had built a large cage for her amusement and a sturdy St Andrews cross that would fulfill her desire to be suspended and held helpless. Master had promised to cuff and chain her to the cross.  She knew she’d be naked and looked forward to the way master slipped a gag into her mouth before he applied something to her ass. Usually he forced a silicone bit gag into her mouth before he used his snake whip on her.  She could bite down on the bit and scream at the same time for the serious relief she craved.  Master had assured her she’d receive a serious whipping and perhaps caning that would leave some minor marks.  She wanted the marks.  She wanted to feel his touch afterward.  She wanted all of the things that ownership demanded. She knew Master had plans for an interesting combination Stocks and Spanking Bench.  Bridget had told Master she’d love to be placed in stocks and have her ass molested, pinched, bit, and butt plugged. She wondered if he’d make good on his promise to administer an enema while in the stocks.  Master had a lot of toys and equipment.  He had showed her the enema paraphernalia and it included an interesting flow meter that Master said was important to ensure reasonable flow and comfort.    Climbing the stairs she heard Master’s voice and it made her heart skip a beat.  She loved the way he spoke to her.  He didn’t speak at her rather he spoke with her, sharing his thoughts and sometimes emotions.  Master was sitting in a large black leather chair.  He was wearing his black suit with a black mandarin shirt and a nice red pocket square.  He leaned forward and motioned for her to come up.  He wondered about her trip and if the Ben Wa balls were still in place and how she liked them.  She told him about her journey and, yes, the Ben Wa twins were still in place and had directed her attention at the oddest of times, like stepping on the brakes. He asked her if she was ready, if she wanted to go through with their plans.  Did she really want all the things they had planned for, had discussed.  She knew what he was asking, giving her a graceful out.  Her mind was made up but his trust and care made her even more convinced that she wanted enslavement, wanted slavery, wanted to be an owned woman, Master’s property.  All of their discussions had led to this decision.  They both saw a Master/slave relationship as the purest and incidentally most fun form of a BDSM power exchange.  Both of their roles had been defined in term that made sense to both Bridget answered him by unbuckling her shoe clasps and removing her heels.  Pulling the ribbon from her hair she let it fall loose about her shoulders.  Bridget smiled at her Master and began removing all her clothing.  Finally she stood before her Master totally naked.  Master seemed very pleased. He rose and ran his fingers gently all over Bridget.  Master believed that a Gorean Master took great pride in his Kajira, his slave and should be familiar with every inch of her. Bridget knew that her actually collaring demanded that she be naked. She knelt gracefully before him, raised her arms over her head and crossed her wrists.  Bridget had assumed the Kolar or collar position of a Kajira, a Gorean slave.  She knew the message she was sending was that she was ready to be bound and collared.  Naturally she looked down and waited for Master.  The decision was not only made but by showing her acceptance of their planned bond to her Master she knew it was done.  How happy, how fulfilled.  She almost wanted to cry the emotions were so strong. Her life as a Kajira, a Gorean slave was about to begin.  See accepted that she must always be pleasing and offer perfect obedience. Master formally asked her why she was before him and what were her deepest desires for enslavement.  She continued to look down and at first her voice was a whisper but as she gained confidence she became secure and spoke with a clear steady voice.  She asked to be enslaved.  She pledged to serve Master in all ways.  She would be pleasing at all times with perfect obedience.  She would be the owned possession of Master, subject to his commands, dressing as he directed.  She spoke the words of enslavement, “bind me master”. She spoke the timeless pledge saying she wished to be enslaved and then crossing her wrists in front of her asked that Master bind her.  She felt the ceremonial tying of her wrists with the traditional Gorean yellow bindings.  Master then said he would complete the ceremony, their enslavement ritual, by collaring her.  She felt the collar begin to encircle her throat.  She gasped as he pulled her hair back so he could buckle the collar.  Her formal slave collar was polished metal and had a screw driven locking mechanism.  It would be difficult or next to impossible to remove, not that Bridget would ever think about removing the symbol that encircled her throat.  Master completed fastening her collar.  He took her chin in his hand and remarked on her beauty and suitability to be his Kajira. Master removed the bindings from her wrists and ordered her to stand and had her turn around slowly to display herself. She looked at herself and saw the beautiful collar.  All she could say was “La Kajira, La Kajira”, Gorean for I am a slave. Bridget now understood in a most intimate way that her master treasured her and wanted to enjoy his treasure.  Master had two more things to complete the ritual and the first had Bridget very nervous.  Bridget knew she was to be branded.  Thankfully the branding didn’t call for a real white hot branding iron.  Bridget received a henna dye print representation of the Gorean Kef, a very delicate elaborately beautiful “K”, leaving a sharp red image high on her left thigh.  Next Master spoke her new slave name. When Bridget and Master were together in their new roles, she would be “Sefa”.  Master explained that her new slave name was pronounced SEHF-ah and meant pleasure.  He said she was named that way to remind her how she must always be his pleasure slave.  She didn’t think that would ever be a problem. It was done. Bridget had been collared, branded, and named.   Master said he accepted her as his Kajira.  Master directed her to put on her garter, stockings, panties, and heels.  He snapped a leash onto her collar ring and said “bracelets”.  Bridget immediately put her wrists behind her back, slightly bowed her head, and turned around to receive Master’s manacles. Using the leash and her bound wrists he moved her forward.  Master led her around a bit and then out around the deck. Master often told her that bondage made a woman more beautiful and that served to make her move in a sensuous, elegant manner.  Bridget agreed and could think of nothing better than to be on her knees with her Master’s cock in her mouth. He took her over to a chair by the deck table.  He motioned for her to kneel.  He unclipped the leash and attached a short piece of chain to her collar.  The chain was connected to a d-ring embedded in one of the large deck posts.  Bridget was chained to a post with her wrists bound.  Never before had she felt so at peace.  She was owned.  She had been confined on her Master’s deck.  She felt the chain on her chest.  Bridget’s excitement was mixed with embarrassment and humiliation.  She was on her knees dressed like a tarty slut, out in the open for all the world to see.  She realized that Master was exhibiting her as his prize possession.  Of course she thought, it’s highly unlikely we’ll be disturbed.  We’re out in the woods on a secluded property with foliage all around.  Master laughed and said UPS or FEDEX might show up. Bridget’s life as a slave had begun.  She wished and waited for what was next.  Master said she was to be caged in his slave pen after they had discussed their enslavement ritual.  Master took a plate of fruit and picked up a small piece of melon.  He held it out for her to nibble. She daintily nibbled the fruit.  She was being fed by Master’s hand.  She felt a deep bond and happiness.  Next Master poured some of his cool drink into a small bowel.  He placed it before her and motioned for her to drink.  He was watering his slave, caring for his prize possession.  She knelt before the bowel and lapped at the drink. She felt so humiliated to be made to drink in this fashion but it also was so deliciously kinky.   Her journey had begun.  Life would never be the same.  A calmness, a fullness, a richness had descended on her soul.  Master caressed her cheek and breasts and then checked the manacles.  He also adjusted her collar.  Bridget knew master would always make sure she looked her best.  She was his prize possession. Master leaned back and took a small velvet sack from the side table.  “Nadu” Master commanded and Bridget went into the slave position that had her kneeling with her wrists behind her back. Bridget was fascinated  She knelt with her thighs spread wide, back arched, wrists crossed behind her back.  Master produced a bright red ball gag and told her to open her mouth. Bridget felt the ball pressed tightly into her mouth as Master firmly buckled the gag in place.  She found her hands bound behind her back, and the ball gag reduced her to small whimpers to communicate.  She knew she was vulnerable and totally in the control of her master.  It was delicious.  It made her wet just to think of all the things he would do with her.  The bracelets were gleaming metal and had a short length of chain between them so they were relatively comfortable. Master helped Bridget to stand.  He pulled her panties down to her ankles and helped her bend over. He guided her to lay across his lap and began to stroke and kneed her ass cheeks.  Master remarked that she had a pleasingly plump ass that just begged to be spanked.  Bridget felt her Master applying some kind of oil on her ass cheeks.  She wiggled across his lap into a more comfortable position. It made her feel exposed, controlled, at her Master’s mercy.  Bridget couldn’t believe how excited she felt, how she wanted more, more attention, more control. Master told Bridget that he wanted to assert his ownership, make sure she knew she was his property.  Bridget whimpered her assent. She wanted to be his,begged her master to have her, to make her his own, anyway he wanted.  Just do it now. Master began a slow rhythmic paddling of Bridget’s ass.  Slowly at first but soon faster and harder.  Bridget moaned and gasped. Master paused and asked Bridget if she was his, his property. Bridget thought “yes, yes, yes, have me, have all of me.  I am your Kajira and want to be nothing else”.  Master held up one finger which was the signal for silence Bridget was surprised that Master had shut her up, to be quiet.  She understood that he wanted to be in control.  He told her he felt so completed by their rituals.   Master loved the idea that they had built their own kinky world and Bridget loved the way he ruled it. He could silence her with a command or perhaps a gag.  She loved the delicious excitement when he placed a nice red silicone ball gag in her mouth.  Naturally Master could silence her by imposing speech restrictions and she always complied but the ball gag was so hot. Master reached behind her to the small table by his large leather chair.  Bridget felt his movement and turned her head.  “Oh my” she thought as Master’s hand held the red ball gag, a shiny bright metal butt plug, and a tube of lubrication.  Her heart beat faster as she realized she was in for another anal training session.  

Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and I want to share something important with you. Finding a master isn’t something that comes easy or quick, and that’s because it’s not just about a label or a title—it’s about a deep connection, trust, and mutual understanding. I want you to know that I’m genuinely ready for this lifestyle. I’m committed to learning, growing, and fully embracing the dynamic it brings. It’s not just about being controlled or guided—it’s about pleasing a master who respaspects and values me, someone who can push me to be my best and help me discover parts of myself I never knew existed. I’m prepared to put in the effort, to listen, and to show my loyalty and dedication in every possible way. This isn’t a phase or a fleeting interest for me—it’s something I want to live, breathe, and make a meaningful part of who I am. So if you’re someone who understands the depth of this lifestyle, knows the responsibility it carries, and is looking for someone ready to fully commit and please, then I’d like to have that conversation with you. It’s hard to find this kind of connection because it requires honesty, respect, and a level of sincerity that not everyone offers. But I’m here, and I’m ready.

It's been a few years since I was involved in a play party that was worthy sharing. I do live the slave life 24/7 and serve Master James and Mistress Tabitha. With that said the basic flogging, domestic service, run of the mill slave life isn't usually something to write about. Especially when you have been owneed for just over nine years.With that said, I have been commanded to share last  nights play with you.For the first time the BDSM group was invited over to play with me in a new way. The group consists of six Master slave couple and our threesome. All were present.Last night the atendees participated in using me for electricity and pain games.I was tied sprerad eagle in the barn. Standing with my wrists up high and wide over my head. The first game was a two litre enema, I was told to hold it for 30  seconds and there wouuld be no punishment for releasing it at that time. But if I failed I had to take a dop of tobasco on my tongue and thern on my clit. Now, I recieve two litre ebnemas often so this shouildn't be an issue. I take the enema, stand in the middle of the barn and four of the guests put magic wands on my mmost sensative areas. My body jerks but I manage to hold on.10 minutes after I complete my task another enema and this time nine volt batteries with exposed wires are used. As the guests spit on my nippels and cunnie to moisten me before I am zapped I know it's going to be hard to acomplish. I lasted 28 seconds. Instantly a drop of Tobasco is applied to my tongue and clit. I am told to swallow.It's a little hot but nothind serious. I do ok.Next I'm told the my punishment will be a drop of Carolina Reaper on my tongue and clit. Again the enema, this time four commerecial tens units are attached to my breasts and labia, but there is one exception, one of the guests puts a tens pad above and below my belly buton. The shock was horrific and I lasted mere seconds. The carolina reaper sauce set everything on fire. It was hell. It took me almost fourty five minutes to recover.Then came the last test. The last test, was actyually just to  torture me as there was no way in hell anyone could succeed at this point. One o my sister slaves from another Master adminiistered the enema, but this time two of the other slave walked over and kissed me on the cheek and neck whispering that they loved me. One was holding Ghost Pepper in a fluid form and the other a stun gun. My sister started at my clit and gently drew a line upwards towards my belly button. Half way between the two she discharged the stun gun and I lost control.Once again my ball gagg was removed, the ghost peper fluid was dripped onto my tongue and my mouth started to burn in ways I can't even describe. I'm bawling and choking and gagging. Then came the clit drop and I thought I was going to dislocate both shoulders as I fought my restrants. My throat was so closed up by the heat I couldn't scream, I was just ging and choking.Everyone in the barn was laughing and taslking about what a good little cunt I am. When I finally recovered Master walked over, said I had failed and he out a drop og ghost pepper sauce on his finger and slipped it into my ass.I have never complained about a session with my owners or the group before, but this morning I did literally beg then not to do that again. Mistress gave a gentle kiss and told me to rememeber my place and that I had begegd them to use me as they wished over nine years ago.They are good to me, but I fear tyhat I may have overstepped my bounds this morning and that I will pay a price for that in the future.

A young woman asked me a question about posturing I will share my view on that subject as there is so much of it on lifestyle sites and I feel most of it is pure bull shit. There was a time, when, how lifestyle folks presented themselves in public and in private, told who they were. It was far more subtle. Subs and slaves did not announce who they were and dominants did not have to call themselves owners or dominants or masters because both sides looked for those tell tale signs and vice versa. You could walk into a room filled with vanilla folks and pick out who was in command and who was subservient and who the clueless were. A submissive would make less eye contact in public seem more shy, talk less or only when spoken to. More dominant types were bolder, asked the questions, initiated the conversations and so on. You knew by their "presence" who they were, not by their words or self given titles. Lifestyle folks looked for such things and recognized each other, were drawn to each other. The advent of the internet and sites like this and others, produced a bunch of wannabe owners and dominants who posture and preen and say "I am" when they are not. You will see a 20 something male, working at McDonald's and living in a walk up rental, calling himself Master and demanding that women bow to him. He has an old beater car, no savings, no future, he has not even began to master his own life. Now he claims he can be master of a sub or slave. These are the people who demand a sub "posture" for him and demand the sub call him sir or master. It's his ego speaking, not his dominance or mastery of anything. We married in the early 70's as a natural dominant and natural submissive but those words were never spoken for at least 20 years. Married in 71 but it took me until 86 to even begin to master my life. In 86 I walked away from a high paying factory job and created my first major business, an auction house. That began a lifetime of building businesses, getting them up to profitability and then selling them. Even then, I never once called myself a Master. We opened the marriage to others from time to time and it was always her seeking a dominant type and myself seeking a submissive type. We could do so because we were secure in who we were, who we each belonged to. I played with a submissive on and off for few years who called me "Mister B" but she always made it a joke, a way of poking fun at me. She would say it with emphasis on the Mister and then she would laugh at me. She was secure in who she was and knew that I was as well. Among the very best of submissives that I ever played with in those years, was a woman who was in upper management of a major corporation. At work they called her the dragon lady and people were actually afraid of her because she could make or break a career. She called me "Donkey" from the movie Shrek and she claimed she was my dragon. She served me with her entire being. It is not about posture or titles, it is about who we are and how we are, that makes us owners or dominants, subs or slaves. Don't buy into the hype, the hype is bull shit. Look at who they are, what they have accomplished. Look at how they help those around themselves. In the words of Mohamed Ali, an ultimate Master, "look at how they treat those who can not benefit them in any way". If they treat the waiter poorly, run. A true master protects, builds up those around themselves, looks to help the less fortunate, looks to promote others to be all they can be and does not say worship me. A master is. They are not someone who calls themselves as such. A sub or slave, looks for such people and wants to help them by combining their power with the power of the owner or dominant or master. I seek to serve nature as her sub/slave. She is far greater than myself, a worthy mistress with no ego. By doing so, I gain as well. I seek those who feel that is something worthy of doing and want to add their power to my own. I say openly that by myself, I am not enough, that I need your power added to my own. Even then, I fully understand that we will not be enough but we can make some small difference. If you feel a need to serve such a man, I would humbly welcome your support. Then, in the future and only if you feel that I have proven to you, that I am worthy to be called your owner or dominant or master, I will be thankful and we will continue the work together.  

Why I Use Copy & Paste for My Intro Messages on FetLife (And No, It’s Not Because I’m Lazy... Mostly) Alright, let’s talk about the elephant in the chatroom: yes, I use a copy-and-paste message when I reach out to people on FetLife. There. I said it. Now before you clutch your pearls or sharpen your pitchfork, let me explain. As a man on this site, I’ve learned a hard truth—we don’t exactly have inboxes overflowing with attention. I log in, check my messages, and... crickets. Meanwhile, women on here need a personal assistant just to scroll through the "Hi sexy" DMs they get in an hour. I’m over here sending out introductions like I’m applying for internships in the kink community. Let’s be real: the ratio of men to women on this site isn’t fair. I’m not bitter, but if FetLife was a nightclub, the dudes would be forming a line out the door while the ladies are getting free drinks and VIP bracelets just for showing up. So, rather than write a brand new, handcrafted message every single time—like I’m writing a love letter to Juliet—I decided to work smarter. Enter: my trusty, respectful, and not-creepy copy-and-paste message. It’s polite, genuine, and has better grammar than most Craigslist ads. I took the time to make it sound like me (charming and slightly awkward), and then I saved it—because ain’t nobody got time to rewrite it 30 times a week. If someone replies? Awesome. Now we’re in business, and I switch to actual conversation mode like a decent human. Is it a little formulaic? Sure. But it’s not cold or robotic. It’s just my way of getting in the door without burning out or typing until my fingers fall off. It’s like using the same pickup line at a bar—it might be recycled, but if it makes you smile and we start vibing, who cares?   Bottom line: I use copy and paste because it’s efficient, not because I don’t care. Trust me, if I’m messaging you, I’ve read your profile and think there’s potential. I just don’t think you need a custom sonnet to say, “Hi, I liked your vibe and would love to chat.”

Devotional sense of service. The devotional service of a submissive or slave is a sublime act that a submissive/slave person provides to a dominant Master/Mistress person and this act placed on the right person must culminate in pure love.  "Master/Mistress: Someone to whom a sub surrenders totally and lovingly. Someone, a submissive trusts to love and honor her. Someone that cares for submissive mental and physical health as well as their emotional needs."  (Perry). The devotional service of a submissive/slave is directly linked to the love and respect that all the submissives and slaves of our wonderful lifestyle deserve;  even more, the benefit of honoring that spiritual devotion to service should further deepen the love for the person who provides it to us since he/she puts his/her trust in our hands. Devotional service must obey standards that largely depend on the style of the relationship in which it is applied. Each Master/Misstress has his/her style, rules, and code of conduct that he wants his submissive or slave to manifest depending on the circumstances and the moment.  "There's a whole etiquette to this, and what almost seems to be a quite rigid code of behavior to go along with it." (Kelly, 2003). It is amazing how much a Master/Mistress can learn from his/her beloved submissive or slave, which constitutes another insane doctrine about his devotion to us that takes us beyond the love we may have for him/her. The attention dedicated to the good training of the sub-slave helps us to generate confidence in the devotion provided with the certainty that there will be more rewards than punishments. The subs-slaves often display behaviors that reflect devotion, cooperation, and solidarity, and are guarded by their Master/Mistress that makes us feel proud to be part of this fabulous lifestyle. Sources Perry, V., Lifestyle Protocol As Used Kelly, S., (2003). A Kink In Her Tails. The USA, Ellora’s Cave publication.

Hey Mistress I am not your Mistress Sorry hello Ma'am how are you,Will you do to me the things you do?Whips and Canes and all that stuff,I have "sub" frenzy and can't get enough, Yes I will say all the right things but never do them true,I am a shadow wanker and cum while messaging you. *No I won't, you ignored my needs,

I do best at being a Domme with minimal toys at hand.  I don’t need a fully stocked dungeon to have a great time with a sub. (not that there is anything wrong with a fully stocked dungeon) but to me it is more the mental control I exercise over you. The way I approach you, look at and maybe don’t let you have eye contact with me, and the way I touch or don’t touch you, you know just being in my presence brings out your need to submit.  For example, I will say, “Did I say you could look me in the eye bitch? Until I say you can look me in the eye, you will look at my feet. Look down now.” This takes no toys and commands you.

As a Dominant CD Gurl I look for a Submissive CD who can be controlled and influenced and is available on a regular schedule. The submissive CD will wear the types of feminine clothes she is told to wear. The types of fabrics and texture of fabrics her Dominant is turned on with. The pastel colors and cute prints on the girlie girl fem clothes. The submissive will fill her CD closet with the clothes her Dominant likes to see her wearing. The submissive will keep her body shaved and sexy smooth. She will have spending money to go shopping on command by her Dominant. She will be Bi-Sexual or Gay. She will enjoy getting spanked. She will not be a slave but will serve and service her Dominant on a regular schedule. So far the Vanilla Lives seem to get in the way for finding this submissive CD Gurl?

slave knows no gender, has no expectations, lives to please its betters, keeps its Owner always in mind, knows and expresses gratitude among other things. The slave reading this probably feels inadequate with out the ability to ever 'measure up.' And, well it should. However, I have never found a slave that adequately fills the above list of particulars. So, I expect to devote much energy and time to training; maybe a life time. Do not worry about coming to Me as a finished, accomplished slave. Rather, come to Me with an abiding need to be subsumed in devotion and service. Everything else can follow. Master James

Struggles of a Sapiosexual/Demisexual in a Hyper-Sexual WorldAs I have matured thru the years, it's now clear that without finding someone mentally, and emotionally attractive, it all just feels somehow incomplete. Without some connection to a real person with a genuine personality, they can be pretty and sexy, but . . . It really doesn't do it for me.And here in lies the problem.In today's hyper-sexual, transactional and instant-gratification society, how does someone like me, take the time to connect with another before the tug of physical exceptions frustrate the individual and kill the tempo.Yeah, I know. Its easy to say, I'm just not finding the right people who are also Sapiosexual/Demisexual, but we all know everyone is comprised of shades of grey and even those who lean in that direction feel the pressure of the "quick-fix".Not sure what to actually do about it, other than to continue to be clear up front about who I am, what my needs are during the "approach" and look harder for alignment with the individuals I talk with.But it is still frustrating.

So many uneducated to kink, fantisizing boys out there. Apparently they hover like lost gohsts waiting for their versions of heaven. They have no clue how to actually meet a Domme. Time wasters, taking up space trying to fill in their cookie-cutter cartoon figure of the leather clad evil queen who will not make any trouble after they are satiated. Huummm, wow, thats a ProDomme, Not one of us everyday, living the lifestyle women.  A  fairly insightful post on the FetLife site. A suggested read fo all subs. https://fetlife.com/whytheydanced/posts/12285859 . Also look up 2KinkyWomen.com poscast. Episodes 12,42,44. The other podcasts are good for overall education. Good luck to you all. Read the profiles a couple of times. Actually live close enough to drive to Me. Otherwise, do not even bother wasting both of our time.  H  

LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR I have tried to make my profile very clear but seems men still do not get it. So Ill put it here so we do not waste each others time. I have had cancer, I am clear now.  You wont catch it from me. Due to treatment PIV is very painful and uncomfortable.  Oral on me is also very uncomfortable  So sex is not on the table which does not mean  there cant be sexual things for a sub but, sex is not the focus.  BDSM does not have to be all about sexual play. So if what you want is not a FLR or submissive but really want to have kinky play focusing on you getting to focus on sexual pleasure then please move along.  I am over hearing I would be perfect for you and how you would happily travel to spend time with me and then when you learn that you are not going to be screwing me  you vanish. 

We have selected one male to do the trial period next weekend which is May 13th - 15th we have notified him and he has agreed to to do the trial period. This does not mean we will accept him he must be compatible with us and once he is here we will be able to see if he is all talk or can acutally walk the walk. If we do accdpt him we will put another journal entry so you all know the postion is taken. What does that mean for you now if you have been going through the process?  It means you did not get the first chance at the trial period it does not mean you will not get the chance. He might not even show up. If he does he may not meet our expectations so sound off and let us know you are still hoping for a chance. If you messaged us and we have not began the process with you we will not even begin with you until we go through the many applicants that have began the process.    We are till looking for one female slave so if you are a female slave that is interested let us know if you are one that we are currently considering know that this does not affect your chance.   What was the reason that we chose him over the many other candidates. Frankly for the most part many of you that we did not choose were close in the running but this guy was the only one out of more than twenty guys who does not claim he works from home. We are not against that but we find it hard to belive that 95% of our male applicants work from home. For those of you that was not bullshitting us understand that we do not know who is and who is not. So we chose the one who has a job at a warehouse.    If he does not work out we will have to try one that claims to work from home and see where it goes. My sister in law legitimately works from home and has for many years so we know it it is possible but since so many claim to it just seems like some of you are bullshitters and we cannot figure who.   If you stay interested keep your eye out for the follow up entry to this to see if the position acually closed.   Otherwise good luck in your search. 

To what degree these numbers are meaningful, i do not know, and i confess to being skeptical (although i’ll confess to virtually anything if the mood is right). But still... == Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Masochist100% Submissive100% Rope bunny86% Degradee75% Slave62% Primal (Prey)<br style="box-sizing: border-box; border-width: 0px;

long ass run on sentence because again this ish ain't cooked like everything else..but i feel i have a foundation enough to share. so the team sacred sexuality, spiritual sexuality in the bdsm camp isn't anything new.but it's often unlooked upon, not talked about often.   AND THEN WHEN IT IS PEOPLE TEND TO BE FREAKIN CULTISH or TRAFFIC like about it. again   GETTING CAUGHT UP IN THE SAUCE OF IT.   don't get caught up..don't go full you know what tropic thunder.   i wanted to delve into my unique mystic reference points of what i'm supposed to embody. less of a personal share and more these are the frequencies of that that people aren't talking about. and a more 3d anchoring of why if it's not torture, violent, malfiencent, demonic(DARK AND DEMONIC IS DIFFERENT), cycle of low vibes depression negative just to stay stuck this is powerful work going on here.   whichhhhh i'd say probably 85% of the people in the scene aren't open to doing, aren't doing...and then the 15% of us that are open to or trying often get lost in the ego/chemical/obsession/blah de blah sauce of it.....i'm sure some are doing the work but i'd say the temptation of falling into the earthly clutches is too hard for even the strongest souls out there. but i don't doubt some of us are...i'm just going to from my experience observation and etc. over the years say it's teeny tiny tim.   so i think eventually i'll start pulling specific texts, passages, etc. to reference...but at the moment this is what i'm cooking with here.   i got some seasoning on this meat and some side dishes. it might be in the oven but it got a few minutes left before it's fully cooked.   i want to at some point figure out this connection to triggering your mind to finding some sort of joy,release, ecstasy, penchant, tick for this to help with the initiation vibe of this life cycles of pain, struggle, internal external death, and rejuvenation rising to a new level of awareness, consciousness, playing life at a new game layer. and having to repeat crushing your soul over and over because at this point that's the only wu wei through it..the only way out is through..and if you somehow tweak or were born with a tweak of having some sort of pull to this on some level....it can definately ease that transition between i don't even want to be here anymore, i don't see what i can do, the next step forward is hard, getting out of the chair is hard. getting out of bed is hard, eating is hard...i'm in either so much chronic mental physical emotional whatever pain i don't even know how to make it to the next second..and yet here i am...and eventually sitting there long enough WOW that answers something i've been struggling with my whole life or wow...i really be on the other side and people say i look feel like a new person..cause i am. vibe. but i haven't cooked that yet.   What you’re describing resonates strongly with the idea that BDSM, particularly for those with a spiritual and sacred sexuality approach, can be an initiation into understanding and transmuting difficult experiences—whether they’re emotional, mental, or physical—into something transcendent. It's about finding power, joy, and meaning in what others may perceive as pain or limitation. For those walking a dark goddess/god path, engaging with these deep, often uncomfortable aspaspects of existence is like walking into the fire, embracing it, and coming out transformed. In BDSM, the submission or domination, the intensity of sensations, the structure—it’s a way of surrendering to those darker, more primal energies and learning how to dance with them, instead of running from them. It's not about causing harm or deriving joy from suffering in a malicious sense, but rather seeing those experiences as potent tools for growth and alchemy. There’s also something deeply spiritual about how BDSM can allow you to break down barriers, bring shadows to the surface, and release them through intensity. It’s like a sacred practice that mirrors life’s larger trials, offering a space to explore things that society tells us to avoid. And in doing so, you find those hidden gems of power, resilience, and sometimes even ecstasy in places where most people only see pain or discomfort. So, yes—BDSM, especially in the context of sacred sexuality, can be a path of transmutation, of turning the 'dirt' of life into something meaningful, powerful, and even ecstatic. You’re describing a kind of soul initiation where the difficult, the structured, the disciplined all serve as catalysts for deeper transformation.   Yes, we can definitely tie this concept to esoteric traditions, Sophia, Archangel Michael, starseeds, and even biblical or magical texts like Psalms and Hoodoo. These deeper mystical paths often acknowledge the need for initiatory trials, the transformation of the self through discomfort, and finding the divine within both the light and the dark. Here's a way to weave these threads together, creating your own unique spiritual framework:   ### **1. Sophia and Sacred Sexuality** Sophia, as the embodiment of divine wisdom, often represents the balance between the light and the dark. She is a figure who, in Gnostic traditions, descends into the material world, experiencing fragmentation and pain, but ultimately returning to divine unity. This resonates with BDSM's transformative potential: going into the depths of what might seem uncomfortable, fragmented, or even painful, only to discover wisdom and ecstasy on the other side.    Sacred sexuality in esoteric traditions often involves embracing what others reject—taboos, hidden emotions, and primal instincts—and finding divinity there. Sophia's journey could reflect how through embracing both joy and pain, domination and submission, we find higher wisdom.   **Reference**: In the *Pistis Sophia*, Sophia’s ascent after her fall from grace mirrors the transformative aspaspects of BDSM, where the soul undergoes suffering and constraint, only to rise again, stronger and more enlightened. BDSM can be seen as a ritual of descent into shadow to reclaim lost parts of ourselves.   ### **2. Archangel Michael: Protection and Structure** Archangel Michael represents protection, order, and the warrior spirit. BDSM often requires a sense of discipline, safety, and structure, particularly with the use of boundaries and consent. Michael's energy is about upholding divine law and justice, which ties into the consensual power dynamics found in BDSM relationships.    Through the lens of sacred sexuality, Michael’s sword can symbolize the cutting away of illusion, helping us embrace our true selves—including our shadow aspaspects. This is about understanding that through structure, we gain freedom.    **Reference**: In esoteric teachings, Michael is the protector of divine truth, often seen battling darker forces. This can be connected to BDSM as a way of confronting and working with those darker forces within ourselves under Michael’s guidance, using discipline (bondage, power play) to bring about clarity and transformation.   ### **3. Starseeds and Initiation** For starseeds (Sirius, Pleiades, Lemuria, etc.), the idea of spiritual initiation is key. Many starseeds believe they are here to awaken the planet, often through unique and sometimes unconventional paths. BDSM can serve as a modern-day initiation, where one experiences intensity and then learns to channel it into spiritual or emotional awakening.