The Guest House This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival.   A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comesas an unexpected visitor.   Welcome and entertain them all!Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,who violently sweep your houseempty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably.He may be clearing you outfor some new delight.   The dark thought, the shame, the malice,meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in.   Be grateful for whoever comes,because each has been sent by a guide above. 

What I want...(I did not write this but it rings true for me).  I want flowers. I want to whip you. I want to stroke your cheek and smile into your eyes. I want respect and awe and understanding and love. I want foot rubs and leg rubs and back rubs and anywhere rubs. I want you to know when to reach out to touch and when to kneel and wait. I want you to want me fiercely, desire me utterly. I want kisses. Little ones, fast ones, fierce ones, thigh-clenching-good kisses. I want you to touch me like you’re trying to memorize the texture and shape of me. I want affection and cuddling. I want you to drop your eyes when I demand and meet my eyes when we talk. I want you to miss me terribly when we’re apart. I want you to know what you mean to me, how I cherish you. I want humor and debate and dialog. I want you to kiss the side of my neck while your hands grip my hips, my back. I want to see you crawl – just for me. I want to look at you in that special way and see you breathe deeply with desire and anticipation of what you know is to come. I want to fuck you, penetrate you, tease you, deny you, please you, torture you. I want.... You.                                                                                              

For my birthday trip, I reached out to a few people a week before my flight to the East Coast.  One here, an admirer: I dropped him a line asking if he wanted to meet for coffee. The records show that he read my message, but he never replied.  On another site, I followed up on a post from someone offering massages. There was no way to message the person directly, but the site indicates that there's a response to a post when you log on. He logged on since I posted my comment, and I heard nothing before I boarded my plane.  I actually saw his reply after I got back: he finally reached out when I was away. However, by the tie I landed and got settled, activities started and I didn't bother checking these sites. He requested a raincheck for my return. I told him sure, if I remembered.  "Oh, if only you weren't so far away ..." my aunt fanny.

PUNISHMENT Punishment in BDSM is a consensual practice between adults who engage in relationships of domination and submission. However, it is important to remember that BDSM is based on the principle of safety, consensuality, and respect. Before engaging in any type of punishment game, it's critical to set clear boundaries and communicate openly and honestly with your partner. In the context of BDSM, punishment can be used as a form of erotic play and can range from mild physical punishment, such as whipping or whipping, to psychological punishment, such as verbal humiliation or deprivation of certain pleasures. The purpose of punishment can be recreational, to generate sexual arousal, or as a way to reinforce roles of dominance and submission within the relationship. It is important to note that punishment in the context of BDSM must always be consensual and negotiated in advance between the parties involved. Both parties should agree on boundaries, and safety signs, and establish a safe word to stop the activity if necessary. In addition, it is essential that punishment is carried out safely and permanent injury or damage is avoided.  Remember that BDSM is based on consent and mutual respect, so it's critical to maintain open communication with your partner and make sure both parties enjoy and feel safe during any punishment game. It is always advisable to educate yourself about BDSM practices, seeks reliable information, and consult with experienced people in the community before embarking on these types of activities.

Sissy Bimbo Journal Entry: Hello, darlings! 💕✨ This is your cute little bimbo sissy, just putting it out there: I’m ready and begging to be used in any and every way that pleases you! I’ve totally embraced my role as the ultimate sissy toy, and I am always eager to fulfill every hardcore fantasy you have in mind. My mind is nothing but pink, sparkles, and submission, and I’m craving the chance to be molded, trained, and pushed to my limits. 💖 Ultimate Bimbo Doll Training 💖 I’m fully ready to be turned into the perfect bimbo doll, trained to speak, move, and think in the way you desire. Take control of my wardrobe, my body, and my entire mindset—teach me to be the obedient, mindless bimbo you crave, with nothing in my head except the need to please. 💋 Public Play Object 💋 Imagine me out in public, dressed in the skimpiest outfits you choose, completely exposed to everyone’s gaze. I’m ready to be humiliated, shown off, and paraded around like the little sissy I am. I’ll follow any command you give me, no matter how embarrassing or degrading. 🔒 Chastity and Control 🔒 Lock me up and hold the key to my most private parts—I don’t deserve any pleasure unless it’s from you. You can decide when, where, and how (or if) I’m ever allowed to feel pleasure. Keep me teased and denied, desperate and begging, while you revel in the control you have over my helpless, needy body. 🔨 Degradation Play 🔨 I’m nothing but a sissy bimbo, ready to be verbally torn down and reduced to the lowest possible level of worth. Humiliate me, call me worthless, make me feel like the trashy toy I was meant to be, and I’ll love every second of it. I’ll wear any degrading outfit, repeat any humiliating phrase, and sink into complete mental submission under your control. 🩺 Medical and Sissy Transformation 🩺 Feel free to turn me into your personal project—use me for extreme body transformation fantasies. From forced feminization to body modifications, I’m here for it all. Shape me, mold me, make me the ultimate sissy that exists to fulfill your twisted fantasies. 🖤 Total Objectification 🖤 I exist to be used. You can treat me as an inanimate object—whether that means being your human furniture, your pet, or something more extreme. Use me however you want. I have no thoughts, no desires, no goals except to be a perfect plaything for those who crave power over me. So, if you’re looking for the ultimate sissy bimbo who lives to be used, abused, and degraded, I’m here, fully willing and desperate to be the toy you desire. Let’s explore your wildest, most hardcore fantasies together—I promise I’m ready for anything. 💄👠 Message me and let’s make your most extreme dreams come true. I’m here to serve, sissy bimbo style! 💕💋 Love and submission, Your Little Sissy

PLEASURE MOMMY!!!   I raise my leg and pull the leash placing your face up against my mound.  You can feel the warmth as I grab the back of your head pushing your face up into my pussy.   I tell you to open your mouth so you can taste my sweet nectar.   You love that taste your nasty little slut!   While holding your leash tight I tell you to lick me slowly and then tongue fuck me till I tell you to stop!!   Moving my hips from side to side slapping you with my thick thighs........I pull you in closer   BITE ME YOU SLUT MAKE MOMMY SCREAM!!! I cum so hard I fart in your face and you never miss a lick.   I grab your chin and bend over to lick my juices off your face.   I slap your face!!   Then push your head back and straddle your face so you can continue to please me.   Finger my ass while you tongue fuck me!!!!...................WOW

At the beginning of a relationship I try to keep surprises to a minimum. So I’ve written a short description of how I would spank the first time I did so. I do not spank really hard as the pleasure is over far too soon. I spank firmly and slowly. I call it a ‘Cumulative Dozen’. The first time you will have dressed as I instruct and will stand whilst I tell you why you are being spanked, it might just be for the pure enjoyment of doing so. You will bend over the back of a chair and I will lift your skirt, if needed I will hold you in place between my thigh and my left hand. The first spank will land on your far cheek, then one on your near cheek. I will then change sides and spank each cheek twice. Then change sides and spank each cheek three times, and so on until I decide to stop, or I’ve reached a dozen per side. Each cheek of your bottom could have received 78 spanks by this time. You will then be told to stand facing into the corner, holding your skirt above your waist and forbidden to touch your bottom. After a short wait you will bend over again, your panties will be removed, your legs parted and I will repeat the spanking. If you struggle you will be put over my knee and have your arm folded into the small of your back. By this time your bottom will be red and sore so the spanks will seem much harder than they actually are.  By the time a dozen is reached this time you will might want the spanking to stop. However if you have struggled too much, or clenched your bottom muscles too often I may decide to continue to 13, 14 or perhaps 15. One finished you will stand in the corner again, forbidden to touch your red bottom that you will keep on display until I tell you can move. If I have collared you the process will vary, if you would like to know how then just ask.

Hello.  If you are a truly dominant woman or couple possessing high intelligence and integrity, I have a situation that may interest you. This isn't just about play or BDSM, I am offering a very well compensated job, as well as a life and a jump in lifestyle. Please read it all before you decide.  I know telling you I am real and this is legit is a waste of time because all the scammers say that.  Notice that my spelling and grammar are correct, and it's not a ridiculous offer, but very reasonable to the right dominant woman willing and able to accept it. You can Google VA caregiver and VA caregiver stipend.  When you do, ONLY go to websites ending in dot gov.  Anything else is NOT a real government website, though they try to fool you into believing that they are. I'm going to keep this to facts, because you will either be interested and want more details, or you won't be and there is no need for more info.  Please read about me in my profile and journal. I just learned, that because of my cancer and my recent disability rating increase, I will almost certainly be eligible to have a live in caregiver.  The VA compensates caregivers really well.  I can't mention numbers but you can find them in those URLs.  You would basically be helping me around the house with things which are difficult because of my disabilities.  By September I should be past all the side effects of the radiation so I won't need all that much help.  Which means you could go to school or work another job.  I will not give you a free ride.  I will expect you to pay something toward the upkeep of the house.  I will loan you the money for a car if you don't have one.What I am seeking is a 24/7 domme to enslave me in a consensual non consent relationship.  Yes, that means you will need to relocate to Phoenix, AZ USA, because I can't relocate. I own a large, very nice home in a quiet, upscale middle class neighborhood.  But I'm only about 12 miles from downtown Phoenix. I don't want a soft domme.  At least not all the time.  I need a domme with very dark desires and cruelty.  If you are new to BDSM or your own dominance, I can teach you to explore your darkness, dominance and cruelty, which the politically correct BDSM community could not and would not.  So inexperience is not an issue for me.  Nor do I seek monogamy or constant attention.  I would serve only you and anyone you told me to, while you could live your life any way you want to.  You can have other slaves, bulls, whatever you want.  And you get me for a slave.  I'm not weak and useless or a total asshole like most other male subs.  I will actually prioritize your happiness because that will make me happy.That's it.  This is a description, not an offer.  We would not be able to start this until August at the earliest, so that would give us plenty of time to talk, work out details, etc.If you are interested, and by that I mean that if you like the circumstances, you will follow through and actually do this if we connect on that level, then write me.  If you know you are not going to do it, then please feel free to ignore this, and I hope you find what you seek.

wheres the pain Where the pain i need to strive in this world i need pain to feel alive the marks arent there wheres the pain the pain that takes me to cloud 9 here we are no pain no marks am i still breathing am i where i need to be begging for pain this is all confusing why do i strive on pain how did i end up this way Master i feel like breaking down i need the pain i need the guidance you give me your hand around my throat the pain you inflict upon your property where is the pain cause this causing withdrawals i need the pain i need you i am nothing without you where oh where is the pain i want to feel the heat from each stroke of your toys Master what is wrong with me

As a man who has worn various chastity devices I have learned useful lessons for staying locked without excuses. The three types I have had the best success with provide different advantages. The tube style belt from Fetish Felix in Germany is easiest to put on and take off during play time, but is too large to hide under clothes. The small cage that locks through a CBR piercing is the most practical for continous wear to the office and during sports, allowing me to pee standing up. The Behind Barz is modular so the intensity of confinement can be adjusted to suit the whims of the keyholder. The big tube belt is the only one in which I was ever able to cum and only after prolonged edging and being re-locked. The tight cage has allowed me to trickle out a few times, but never with pleasure. It is the most effective and practical choice especially for long distance ownership. The Behind Barz is surprisingly comfortable after a lot of work bending and shaping, I have worn it for weeks at a time while doing landscape and remodeling work which included running wires through an attic. The essential trick to any device with a ball ring is using silicone lubricant at least once a day to eliminate pinching the chaffing. For any lady who is considering full time restraint of a man's jewels this knowledge will help her to overcome her worries about keeping him locked for as long as she wants control.  

I regularly get messages asking me what I consider edge play or what is an "extreme" scene that I have done. A few thoughts on this. First, and most importantly, my adventures are no one else's fapping material. I have met people off this site before, but that is more of an exception than a regularity. Sharing something like a story, which is very intimate, or a scene, is asking a lot right off the bat and is something that no one is entitled to. What is considered edge is going to be different for each of us? I am not here to one-up on someone or compare sausages. What is taboo to me? Having someone viewing another person on camera might not seem hardcore, but having cameras set up 24/7 to view on-demand is.  Going out to dinner may not seem hardcore, but my footing the bill can be edgy. Humiliating play may not be edgy, but when you consider mental health, it can be as sharp as a physical knife edge. If you are not on the same wavelength as I am, you will miss the subtleties of how sharp my edge is. 

Finally re-dyed my hair for the first time in six months.  Made a mess of it, all over me, but the colors are better than i could have hoped for.   Unfortunately it did not help my mental state at all, which was what i was most hoping for.  But at least now i can get my new driver's license and have pretty colored hairs in my picture. Daddy has been so patienct with my mental state, or lack thereof, and i need to find a way to make it up to Him.  How he deals with me i will never know, but i am beyond thankful. This week also started our doctor appointments...hopefully we are able to start the disability process for Him quickly so that we have a dual income again.  And i know He hates not being able to contribute financially due to His health.  The doctor told Him that although He is only 41, He has to consider Himself 75 physically, and that is a tough pill to swallow.   For me i'm sure they will try and give me medications again, and i'll accept it for my blood pressue as it is beyonf sky-high but other than that i prefer not to take anything....i would rather allow my body to heal itself....even if it is really bad at doing so...

Roe v Wade   This has nothing to do with babies. If it was about babies, we'd have free healthcare. If it was about babies, you wouldn't have to pay to give birth. If it was about babies, we'd have months of paid leave. If it was about human babies, we wouldn't force mothers to have to choose to keep their job, or put their baby in daycare AT 6 WEEKS. It's ILLEGAL to take nursing kittens and puppy's from their mothers before 8 weeks. Why don't I have the same rights? This has NOTHING to do with babies. And EVERYTHING to do with suppressing a Woman's RIGHT to autonomy over her own body.

Review of Tea Party 17th June I just wanted to thankyou again for allowing me to serve at your party at the weekend. I had an amazing time and the ladies attending were exquisite.XxxSlave pat Thank you for another incredible afternoon of debauchery May! 😝💞 Miss A xxxThus Tea Party was a riott💃🏽- so many worthy 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆! Thank you Mistress May once again for letting us have such a good time. Miss V

COVID hit our community hard, and I have a few slave friends that lost their Masters.With no continuity plan in place, it is difficult for a slave. This, the House, helps address that. And it is a passion project for Myself. A way of giving back to a community that has altered My life for the better. On a personal egoic level, of course it is nice to be the Master of the House. But, it also is structured to survive My own passing and continue to care for its members. It is pan sexual in nature and can be grouped in different houses, gay, lesbian, trans, etc. as well as professional, career, orientation. There are a lot of moving parts to this. .... That said, the question is does one wish to be part of something bigger than itself. And to be owned and serve.you will be required to contribute to the home by being able to support yourself. It is a self sustaining operation.As a Master, My responsibility is to provide structure and an opportunity for the slave to serve and to be owned. Its primary service is to the Master, then its brothers and sisters, and then the House as a whole.That is what this Master offers all who come.

profiles take far too long to update on here, so here is what would be my updated profile...    Friendly notice:  *Please read before messaging - it’ll save us both time :)*    These are just *my* preferences, no offence intended.    - Age range **29-45** -  **NO** interest in joining an existing couple/dynamic -  **NO** interest in married/partnered up men - **NO** interest in online/cyber relationships  - **NO** interest in one off meets  - **NO** interest in switching  - **PLEASE** do **NOT** send me dick pics or request any nudes from me   The Vanilla Stuff:   I am 26 years old and I live alone in a sleepy little village in Oxfordshire. I currently work part time. I enjoy spending my free time socialising with my friends/family, going for long country walks, swimming, dining out and weekends away. I passed my driving test earlier in the year so I am always taking myself on adventures. I am lucky enough to be well travelled and have been on some amazing holidays to beautiful countries. I love cooking and baking (I make a mean cookie). I used to work for a local radio station so I have a strong passion for music… anything 70’s or 80’s. I don’t watch much TV but I do have a slight obsession with the BBC series ‘Inside No. 9’ (if you’ve never seen it, you’re in for a treat!)    I am very calm, patient, honest, understanding and I like to think a caring person. I always try to see the best in people, and will always do what I can to help and support others. I like to have a laugh, and would say I have a somewhat dry and at times dark sense of humour.    Now is probably a good time to mention that... **I am autistic**. Please don't let this put you off. I’d like to make it clear that being autistic does not hold me back in life. I am able to work, I live alone, I drive, and I lead a fairly “normal” life. For me it mostly means that I struggle in some social situations, especially when meeting new people, or going to new unfamiliar places - although I always try to push myself and overcome these social barriers. I don’t let being autistic hold me back or dominate (the irony) my life. If you’d like to know more then feel free to ask me any questions. I’ve written a couple of things **(see below)** which may be helpful.    - [A guide for potential Doms ](https://fetlife.com/users/15225326/posts/10736910) - [Autism, kink and me ](https://fetlife.com/users/15225326/posts/10736903)   I am very much a ‘plain Jane’. I don’t cover myself in make-up, fake tan, and I have never used fillers. I am more comfortable in long dress tops and leggings than overly revealing clothing. I am 5’3, curvy, have shoulder length auburn hair, hazel eyes, mostly wear glasses, and have very pale skin.     The Kinky Stuff:   For as long as I can remember I have always been interested in the idea of BDSM and being submissive, even before I knew what BDSM was I found myself having thoughts of wanting to be tied up, humiliated, degraded, hurt, and used and abused during sex. All my previous relationships had been very vanilla, so I never had a chance to explore my submissive side until a few years ago when I began seeing an older guy. He was not a Dom, but he was kinky as fuck… he would restrain me, gag and blindfold me, use canes, floggers and riding crops on me, and have rougher sex with me - to date he’s the only guy to ever make me cum! Since then I have craved nothing more than to explore my submissive side fully within a D/s or M/s dynamic.    My kinks include: *impact play, breath play, restraints, edge play, humiliation, degradation, face slapping, nipple torture, blindfolds, gags, punishments, praise, orgasm control/denial, hair pulling, rough sex, TPE, CNC and much, much more **(see my fetish list at the bottom of my profile).*** Safe words and aftercare are super important and non negotiable.    I am at a point now in my life where I am very happy and settled. I feel ready to start looking for a Dom/Master who I can go on a BDSM journey with. I no longer have any interest in finding a purely vanilla relationship. So… I am looking for an experienced Dom with a dark/sadistic streak who would be willing to take his time to train and guide me on this journey at a slow and steady pace. I realise that my wants from a dynamic probably mean I am more of a slave than a sub...I’m looking for a Master/Dom who over time I can **fully** submit to - in and out of the bedroom. A Dom who has a majority of control over my life, eg - full sexual control, control over my appearance, over my body and mind, over day to day activities etc. ideally - TPE eventually. A dynamic with rules which if broken result in punishments. A dynamic where my sole purpose is to fulfil the needs of my Dom. I crave nothing more than to be owned. To be the property of a Dom.   I am looking for **long term and regular,** with the end goal to be to eventually live together. I’m **not** looking for a dynamic where a Dom barks orders at me, cuts me off from the outside world and keeps me locked in his basement all day, every day. But where I can look after the house, prepare meals, do all the cleaning and laundry etc. what some may refer to as ‘1950’s living’. (I’d still be happy to remain working and help toward bills if that was agreed upon.) For me this ins't just about having rough sex and a bit of kinky fun, it means much more than that to me... maybe my autism plays a part in that, the want and need for structure and routine in life...   I prefer guys who are older **(29-45)**, who take good care of themselves, are respectful, caring and are drama free. I have no issues if you have children but I do **NOT** want children of my own.      End:   If you're interested then please feel free to message me. I have quite a few writings on my profile about myself, my (limited) previous kinky experiences, fantasies and information about my autism, so please take a look. I never respond to instant sex chat/stories or dick pics.    Ideally I’d prefer it if you can host or we meet in hotels to begin with - due to my autism I do not feel comfortable even having my friends and family over at my house, it's my sanctuary/safe space. I drive and enjoy driving, so distance is not a huge issue for me.    Unfortunately it’s got to the stage where I will just ignore messages from anybody that is outside of my preferred age range, or married, seeking an online dynamic or ONS, etc… I am simply not interested and far too many people just don’t respect this, so please do not be offended if I don’t respond, but that’s probably why.    As so many people don't tend to bother to read profiles on here, please let me know you have done so while messaging me! I hope to hear from you!  ~ M x   

Sacred Intimacy: The Art of Birthing Orgasm in the Union of Dominance and Submission   i had previous mentioned in another post that i had an upcoming writing about when a dominant man and a submissive woman come together in a sexual nature in a sacred sexuality focus. and specifically when the man uses that dominant qualities in him to lead her into the experience with the goal of birthing her orgasms from start to finish. be it one or multiple. and how this isn't the same popular orgasm control discussions in the non sacred sexuality bdsm community or whatever porn is going on that i don't know about. well this is that post.   i usually add a bunch of visuals to both break up the text, put in an added layer of energy, and to add emphasis to my words..but i'm being called by spirit this moon day of emotions to let the words speak for themselves this time.   i said that this one is a juicy topic both figuratively and literally. except for a lot of people who might think this is something they are interested in, it will probably turn a lot of the men off. and will turn some submissive women away.   there's vanilla sex, kinky sex, bdsm power dynamic sex, creative/artistic sex, and then there's sacred sexuality. and everyone loves the part of sacred sexuality that promises full body head to toe orgasams. everyone loves the promise of multiple orgasms, especially for the fact that for a lot of times it's the first time a man is hearing he too is capable of doing it. a lot are into or can wrap their head around the semen retention for more vitality, and powerful orgasms when he chooses to do so. and everyone loves the idea of having levels of pleasure and egoic ideas of being able to say that they are a tantrika or a tantrini or their ability to confidently tell all the crazy pretzel postures and positions they get into with ease. but this subject of birthing an orgasm both on the individual level and as a couple is something people think they want, but a lot don't truly want. of course there is puja as well and can also happen beyond two people and a group of however big you want to try to do so. usually from what i've experienced and noticed it doesn't really work that well after a certain amount which is why it's sacred sexuality vs. a kinky orgy situation. but my focus has always been the woman alone, or the woman and man in a submissive woman and dominant man perspective. that is my soul lineage/shard/fracture that i'm focusing on.   being a woman and not having a penis, i've never felt called or aligned or challenged to talk about this from the individual man's perspective, or the man's perspective. there are many woman in this field of mine that do. the first 10 years of my writings was focused on the power of sacred sexuality when taken into the woman's own hands. i've recently been focused on my writing specifically in regards to the in tandem dynamic of the synergy and energy going on in relationship.   while any archetype of energy signature/personality/essence/role/identity of men can choose and step up to take on the role of birthing a woman's orgasm consciously my focus is again is for the dominant man who is doing this.   to ease into it, just like you need to ease into the actual act i wanted to clarify on what i meant earlier about how this is seperate from what the lifestyle community and terminology commonly uses as the understanding of the kink or definition of orgasm control..and how this different understanding can open a whole new way of operating using this term.   nowadays when a man says they are into orgasm control and a woman is either literally into it, which is honestly men very very rare in the long term and outside of the idea of it, or willingly goes about it due to her submissive and slave tendences they are meaning the following. the woman gets her sexual energy to rise, and is not able to release to peak orgasm without the approval of the man. usually the man then does nothing to guide, direct, control, hold, use the energetic masculine force of action physically or in other forms, or take charge of how it happens. it usually turns into a game of red light green light. he simply tells her usually no. no no, until yes. some of them will simply want you to ask and then they'll say yes after hearing it. a lot of the men see this as a form of domination and control. they think the power is having a woman at the peak of completion and creation in their hands. and tell her yes or no is the ultimate way of showing her obedience and his mastery. over my adult life as a naturally submissive and slave woman trying to find my owner, an intellectualizing mystic who as in all areas of my life want to fully absorb whatever it is i do learning/hearing/experiencing/discussing with others who are like me be it lifestyle or just the natural born ones who do not engage in the community themselves, and observing the changes over time with the ebb and flow of the community at large i've heard and seen many men explain how and why this concept of orgasm control works for them and what it does for them.   i see this understanding as a misnomer. it feels like a very passive act. a way for the man to step outside of the emotions, feelings, and inner world of what he is truly awakening in the woman. he excites something deep inside of her, and especially for women like me of the same soul shard/lineage/fracture that are submissive sexual little girls....the depths of what they unlock in this sexual dance is something magnificent. and then to step out and simply tell her yes, no, wait, teetering into orgasm denial as well which debatable if they are the same thing nowadays in the community of like minded/energetic people moves him from something active to something passive. he's no longer in the sauce with her and it becomes a seperate, disassociated, and blocked version of intimacy. with him more of a director in a chamber or behind a launch room...and her on display.   it goes back to the understanding that in life there is always levels. and this seems to be a very beginner level of domination and unfortunately where most tend to get off. even those who claim and can back up some type of experience of doing this for decades. hence the difference between non vanilla sex and sacred sexuality. and even then, there are plenty of men who step off before getting here.   let's look into some definitions of the word dominant:   a: commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others   b: very important, powerful, or successful   2**:** overlooking and commanding from a superior position   this can harken back to leadership styles because as with everything, when we go deeper into sexuality we see if we go beyond the surface of touch, energy rise, frustration non orgasm end or poof some type of orgasm satisfaction to be determined and retraction the landscape of sex both individually or with another person operates similar to the nonsexual discussion of engaging with life as well.   there are leaders that simply bark out orders, and there are leaders that lead by action by doing and are in the thick of whatever the project is. and often the most successful leaders with the most engaged team and 'minions' are the ones that experience directly the superiority through doing and excelling and the willingness to try that the leader shows by doing next to them.   if i was to reoriente that term of orgasm control, it would be the man who is actually engaging with her body, mind, soul, and energy from start TO finish. not necessarily telling her simply yes or no, but similar to a conductor using his bod

This is not a kink message but a human, normal message. Majority of us who put work first and mental health last, I appreciate now being told off and told you need to look after yourself or your can't look after others. I can literally feel the headache like someone is poking their fingers into my brain for fun. It is raining in London and I am taking a couple of days off but the rain is doing me some good, telling me slow down, rest, grill some sausages, pour some wine, enjoy your plants that are thriving, read a book and slow down. Forget wear and tear or getting older (in my 30s so not that bothered) but I can feel the life effort reaching overload. I love helping others but might be time to consider a sabbatical.    

Juxtaposition: A Simple Truth for Some, an Impossible Puzzle for Others This post is going to be stylized a bit differently from my others because I have to use my natural learning and life skills here. I’m naturally an auditory learner, which means I process the world through sound, music, voice notes, and talk-to-text. The world is mostly designed for people who process through reading and typing, but this is a much more nuanced conversation, so I’m using talk-to-text to work through it. I’ll be editing as I go because the point of this is for others to understand what I’m saying. If I were just journaling for myself, I’d keep it internal, but I feel like this is something important for the collective that needs to be shared. As this message has been brewing in my head, I’ve felt an internal pull stronger than usual. Everything I talk about is controversial to people outside of these conversations, but this one might even cause a split within the community—those who are involved in submission and dominance, particularly in a lifestyle or spiritual sense. There are a few ways this could go, and I’m aware of that. There aren’t many women who are naturally wired for this kind of dynamic. You’ll see some who know, without needing to look it up, that they’re born with a mindset geared towards service, nurturing, honor, and worship—not as a duty, but because they see the divinity in others. They have a deep sense of care, even when hurt or upset, and they hold on to that unless a line is crossed. When that happens, sure, all bets are off. But in the natural ebb and flow of relationships, they hold a deeper understanding of the bigger picture. Some of us are just born with a slavery mindset in relationships. I know that sounds intense, but it’s true. Of course, how that looks varies between individuals, but it’s a fundamental orientation. For some, like me, this manifests as a 'little girl' mentality within a servitude dynamic. And even that is rare. Most people associate service with traditional roles like being a housewife, but it’s more than that. It’s about attention, effort, care, patience, receptivity—seeing the other person’s needs and deferring your own preferences because you understand the give and take, the bigger picture. The thing is, people often don’t recognize that level of care as service. They take it for granted, especially in vanilla relationships. But for people like me, the ones who orient this way, it’s second nature. And when we have conversations like this, it feels like we’re saying the same thing over and over because, honestly, we are. People write books on this, give workshops, travel the world to talk about it. None of this is new or unique to me. But what I do know is that we, the ones who truly live this dynamic, are in the minority. Even in the lifestyle community, where you’d expect people to understand this more deeply, there’s still a divide. Some just play or role-play, and they don’t get it. And then there are dominants or submissives who think they want this level of intensity, but when they experience it, it’s too much. They didn’t realize how much work it actually requires. They didn’t know that being with someone who is always in that mindset—who is a slave at their core—would challenge them in ways they weren’t prepared for. And that’s the juxtaposition I’m talking about. People think they want this dynamic, but once they experience it, they realize it’s not what they expected. It either deepens them or makes them realize they’re not capable of holding what they thought they wanted. The smaller conversation I want to have revolves around the part of surrender that comes with letting go of certain expectations, such as: "He doesn't respect me because this is what I'm used to," or "If he's not willing to meet me halfway, then he isn't serious about this," or even, "I need him to communicate a certain way, or else it's just not right." This kind of thinking stems from a need to hold onto something—be it a method of communication, an idea of respect, or even just a preference for how things should flow. But true surrender, especially in the context of power exchange, involves letting go of programming and societal constraints. It's about asking yourself, "Is this truly a need, or is this a want disguised as a need?" For those who are naturally oriented towards deeper levels of service and submission, there’s a realization that much of what we think we need in relationships is not a necessity. Instead, it's a projection of previous experiences, of societal conditioning. What I've found, especially in lifestyle relationships, is that many people claim to live 24/7 dynamics or say they are 'lifestyle' D/s, but there’s a vast difference between identifying with that and actually doing the internal work required to embody it fully. This work doesn't come from hopping from one relationship to another or from constantly seeking physical experiences. Instead, it starts internally. It’s an emotional, mental, and spiritual journey before it becomes a physical reality. I've seen this disconnect repeatedly in the community—people who are drawn to play parties or physical acts but haven't done the internal work to match the energy they’re trying to manifest. Yes, play parties, toys, tools, and skills are exciting, but for those who live the lifestyle, the real work begins deep within. For those of us who are spiritual, it starts even before that, on a soul level, and then trickles down into emotional, mental, and finally physical realms. What many in the lifestyle don’t realize is that physicality—sexuality, play, and even basic physical touch—is something that can be improved and refined. There are sex educators, workshops, and so many tools to practice and elevate physical aspaspects. But you can't fix a fractured mindset, a shaky spiritual foundation, or a disconnected emotional core by just improving the physical. If you're starting out rocky in those deeper levels, you'll never

This morning, about 4am, on a long and dark and empty stretch of southbound I95, going about 70mph, I hit a large raccoon.  Despite my being in the center lane, mindfully watching the sides of the roads for anything moving or eyes reflecting, there he just was.  There was no time to swerve, then a sickening impact that I suspect I will replay over and over.  Then there was a lot more noise I at first thought was pieces of him going through my wheel well.   I was still 90+ minutes from home and there were no other cars around and I decided to keep going and see if I could get home before the tire went flat.  I've never hit an animal before, feels awful.   I did make it home by which time lots of noises were coming from the passenger front of my car, took pics, and was shocked to see the extent of the damage to the bumper, all the front lights under the headlight, gone, lost the lining of the wheel well somewhere along the way, etc.  Checked in earlier this morning and there's a puddle of something under my car.   I am no kidding thankful for insurance which is going to help with all of this.  Miserable about the raccoon.  Miserable about the extent of damage.   But, what I realized was how such an incident emphasizes the joy of being owned, or at least in a solid D/s relationship.  There was nobody to call at 4am, or at 6am, no shoulder, nobody to help take the shakes off and get the nervous energy out, nobody to say it is OK, that I would be OK.  There wasn't someone who might have a clue what the puddle was, and a better idea than I about if it was driveable.  There were no feet tangled with mine in the wee hours, the comfort of His touch.  There was no guidance navigating for the first time with an insurance company, getting a ride to the rental car place, dealing with getting the rental, etc.  All scary, solo. There's always so much emphasis on what the sub/slave gives, but this morning was an example of what she gets when "normal" life intervenes and he is there to take charge in addition to being comforter-in-chief.

I must be doing something wrong because ever since covid come along nobody wants to talk to anybody real time I mean I just bought a house in Mississippi moved from New Orleans a beautiful house by the way I'm very proud of and I was going to use it for a dream home of because I'm trans and I have other attributes I mean I'm a disabled veteran I wear diapers and fortunately for me my my Uncle Sam decides to keep me stocked and anyway I don't know what's wrong with people nobody has conversations anymore it's just these one line sentences no pictures it's just really is everybody running that scared I don't know maybe I'll see if this makes any hits I mean it's not very interesting but I'm just like since journals are back I'm just trying to see how it works out with me see if it actually shows up so anyway hope everybody is having a great holiday you know Halloween anyway look forward to hearing from anybody that wants to have a real time conversation I mean I don't even know what I mean anymore I haven't talked to another human being since covid except that the VA clinic and stuff but anyway with all that said ciao for now

Where does one begin to find a subject for a journal entry, when one does not ordinarily journal? This being a lifestyle site, i find reading others profiles and journals is akin to going out and finding people at munch's or parties and getting to read their minds. Journals are where so many post their / our thoughts and desires. I suppose it's the desires that many post, if they aren't just sounding off on all that vexes them. W/we all want to find someone to belong to or belong with. (which side of the / do W/we live). I have mentioned in many posts, not just here, but in the rare journal or diary entries scattered through the devices i have owned, that i found the collar from this site. or when it was Collarme at the time. The time belonging to and growing again as a person, not just as a submissive,were the most special of my life. Finding joy in your life is important. How we find that joy varies immensely. my own discovery of belonging to someone (at that time a couple) gave me back a spark of joy that has carried me to where i am in the local community. Do not lag in finding joy! I see many who live in their fantasy only in their minds, not realizing that all we desire and hope for is out there. Waiting for us to find it, accept it and be thankful for it becoming part of our life.  my own cravings for certain activites are again looking for an outlet. This is not a plea, just putting out there that a willing bondage subject and, now out of the closet, cross dresser, hopes to find people who, together, we can enjoy something together. That's about all for now. Be safe out there and feel free to reach out to those you find interesting or want to learn more from. @}-- Sister Ida aka boytom

Well Used... This week has been a combination of failure and success. Not much to do when on your cycle, but did still plug a couple of days during that. Open to possible options in how to be of showing submission during that time. Of course bj's are in the table. Sometimes, however, that's not desired by my owner. On the upside, there was being fucked senseless while plugged. And the last 24 hours has been very good. One round if being eaten out and fingered. Three rounds of being woken up for sex. He seems pleased that I always seem ready to go even being woken up in the middle of the night. On to week three!

A frenulum (or frenum) is a small fold or band of tissue that connects one part of your body to another, restricting its range of motion. The term is most commonly used to describe tissues in the mouth or the penis. Types of Frenulums Mouth (Oral): These connect your lips and cheeks to your gums. A common oral frenulum is the lingual frenulum, which connects the underside of your tongue to the floor of your mouth. If this band is too tight or extends too far to the tip of the tongue, it restricts movement, a condition known as "tongue-tie" (ankyloglossia). Penis: The penile frenulum is a small, elastic strip of skin on the underside of the penis that connects the foreskin to the head (glans). It helps guide the foreskin over the head during an erection and is highly sensitive.

She knew she looked good. The men at the bar thought so too! Who would it be?   She picked up her hand bag and slowly made her way to the ladies room.     She admired her mirror image. She freshened her perfume and lipstick. Tugged her skirt into place. Washed her hands.   Her heels clicked on the tiled floor. Heads turned. Letting her leather jacket fall open she leaned forward at the bar. Her full figure bottom was attractive under the skirt. Accentuated and flared by her corset. Bar napkins in one hand,  bowl of mixed nuts in the other, she clicked back to her seat on the couch.   She leaned back in her seat. Closed her eyes. Smiling to her self, she dangled her shoe. The music filled her breasts. They heaved in their confinement. Opening her eyes, a very young and very handsome man in a black suit had slid from the bar and hovered at her table, two drinks in hand.

  New Year After a brief discussion this morning we have agreed on a few things to try and get the most out of 2023. wearing my daily collar more often (as permitted by job, etc) more butt plugs less underwear more outfits with access when home more use of the belt more opportunities for us to explore with others Happy New Year!

ALWAYS MANOR: THE LEGACY The lawyer’s office smelled faintly of old leather and strong coffee. Tessa sat stiff-backed in a chair too soft for her liking, her paramedic’s jacket folded neatly over her lap. She had come straight from a night shift, still carrying the phantom weight of sirens and the metallic tang of blood in her nose. Sitting here, among mahogany shelves and polished brass, felt wrong. April should have been the one in this room, laughing that velvet laugh of hers, teasing Tessa for looking so out of place. But April wasn’t here. And that truth was a splinter lodged too deep to pull. The lawyer cleared his throat, a small man in a larger suit. “As per the wishes of the late Ms. April Laurent…” He began reading, his voice even and practiced, but every word was a pin dragged across raw skin. Bequests went first to charities April supported: a scholarship for young nurses, a donation to an animal rescue. April always gave more of herself than anyone knew. Then came the pause. The lawyer adjusted his glasses, eyes flicking to Tessa. “To my dearest friend, Tessa Holt…”             Her stomach tightened. “…I leave my estate, including the residence on Brookhaven Street, its contents, the club—The Haven—and…” another pause, as though uncertain how to phrase the next words, “…my submissive, Daniel. It is my wish that he remains under your care, guidance, and protection.” The words hung in the air like a struck bell.             Tessa blinked. “I’m sorry—what?”             The lawyer coughed into his hand. “It’s quite explicit in her will. She names you as custodian and—ah—successor.” A chair creaked across the table. Daniel lifted his head, eyes red-rimmed but steady. He had been silent through everything, hands folded, shoulders bowed. Now he whispered, with a reverence that sent a chill down Tessa’s spine: “Yes, Mistress.” The title wasn’t hers. Not yet. But the weight of it pressed down, heavy as any body she’d ever tried to save. Heat crawled up the back of her neck. “No,” she said, sharper than she intended. “That can’t be right. April wouldn’t—she wouldn’t leave me a person.” The lawyer raised his palms defensively. “I assure you, Ms. Holt, the will is legally sound. The… phrasing is unusual, but the intent is clear. Mr. Daniel Shaw is, in every practical sense, part of the estate and your responsibility.” Tessa’s gaze snapped to Daniel. He didn’t flinch. Didn’t deny it. He just watched her with quiet, steady eyes that seemed too calm, too accepting. “This isn’t…” She exhaled hard, fingers knotting the fabric of her jacket. “This isn’t how it works. I save lives. I don’t… own them.” Daniel lowered his gaze, voice low but firm. “You don’t own me, yet, Mistress. April entrusted me to you. There’s a difference.” The word landed again—Mistress. A mantle she had only worn once, with disastrous results. April had been the natural one, the woman others orbited. Tessa had only stood at her side, not in her place. Her throat tightened. “I’m not April.” “No,” Daniel agreed softly. “But she chose you.” The lawyer shuffled papers, clearly eager to move on, but the room felt smaller, denser. Tessa sat frozen, torn between disbelief and the creeping awareness that her best friend had just handed her a world she didn’t know if she could carry. “To clarify, Ms. Holt,” the lawyer said, “your late friend was very thorough. The property and assets are yours outright. As for Mr. Shaw—” his gaze flicked to Daniel, then back to Tessa, “—April did not mean ownership in the literal, legal sense. She established a trust. The house, and a portion of her funds, are designated for his upkeep. You have been named custodian of that trust.”  Mysterium 

  Your Negotiation Means Nothing If the Results Were Forged [CW: STI non-disclosure, predatory behavior, legal consequences, community safety] Let me paint you a picture. Someone gets a positive result. Instead of disclosing instead of doing the one thing that consent absolutely requires they go shopping. They find a friend. They swap names on paperwork. They screenshot someone else's results. They walk into your negotiation with fabricated proof and a smile, and everything you agreed to was built on a lie. Your yes was never real. You consented to a fiction. And now you're living with the consequences. This isn't just a community problem. It is a crime. And I want the people doing this to understand exactly what they're walking into because the law in these states doesn't mess around. FLORIDA Under Florida Statute §384.24, you don't even have to transmit anything. Knowingly having an infection, being informed you can transmit it, and sleeping with someone without disclosure is already the crime. Non-disclosure of most STIs is a First Degree Misdemeanor. Non-disclosure of HIV is a Third Degree Felony up to 5 years. A repeat offense escalates to a First Degree Felony. The statute covers gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, and HIV. Fabricating test results to obtain that consent? That's fraud layered on top of the underlying charge. GEORGIA Under Georgia Code 16-5-60, there are criminal penalties for reckless conduct involving HIV and hepatitis transmission. Prosecutors in Georgia are aggressive about pursuing charges against those who fail to disclose their status to sexual partners. And for anything not specifically named in the statute syphilis, herpes, anything else a person can still face assault charges. TENNESSEE Criminal exposure to HIV in Tennessee is a Class C Felony that is three to fifteen years in prison and up to $10,000 in fines. Tennessee covers HIV, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C specifically under criminal exposure law. The burden falls on the defendant to prove disclosure happened, and proving disclosure is notoriously difficult because there is rarely documentation so it often comes down to whose word gets believed in front of a jury. ALABAMA Alabama's communicable disease exposure statute casts a wide net "contact" is broadly undefined, meaning a whole range of behaviors can be criminalized, and neither intent to transmit nor actual transmission is required for prosecution. Alabama has also pursued HIV exposure cases under general criminal law, including attempted murder charges where intent can be established. MISSISSIPPI Mississippi's felony exposure statute covers HIV, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C. Exposure without disclosure can result in felony charges. This is not a state where you want to test those limits. SOUTH CAROLINA South Carolina carries explicit criminal exposure statutes covering HIV, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C both misdemeanor and felony tiers depending on the circumstances and the infection involved. LOUISIANA Louisiana has been actively expanding its reach. Intentional exposure to incurable STIs without disclosure has been the subject of legislation targeting up to 10 years in prison and $5,000 in fines. Syphilis and herpes both incurable fall squarely in that conversation. And then there's civil court which doesn't need a criminal conviction to destroy you. If a partner knowingly infaspects you, you can file civil battery or negligence claims. Intentional, unconsented, harmful contact raises the damages recovered and can run alongside criminal charges simultaneously. A fabricated test result isn't a defense it's evidence of premeditation. A civil attorney will use it to light you on fire. Now let's talk about the test swapping specifically. Presenting falsified medical documentation to obtain sexual consent is fraud. Full stop. It potentially constitutes identity fraud, forgery, and fraud to obtain consent all separate charges that can stack on top of whatever STI exposure statute applies. You handed someone else's results to your partner. That's a paper trail. That's a witness. That's a case. What this means for all of us in this community We build our entire framework on the quality of the information exchanged during negotiation. One lie poisons the whole structure. Informed consent isn't informed if the information is fake. Ask for documentation. Ask about the lab. Ask about the date. Cross reference the details. If someone treats those questions like an insult if they get hostile, evasive, or suddenly defensive about you wanting to verify what they've handed you that reaction is data. Use it. Protect yourself. Know your rights. And if something has already happened to you talk to someone who can help you understand your options. You have them. Legal References Florida Fla. Stat. 384.24 Unlawful Sexual Intercourse / STI Non-Disclosure Florida Fla. Stat. 384.34 Penalties for STI-related violations Georgia Ga. Code Ann. 16-5-60 Reckless Conduct / HIV & Hepatitis Exposure Tennessee Tenn. Code Ann. 39-13-109 Criminal Exposure to HIV, HBV, HCV (Class C Felony) Alabama Ala. Code 22-11A-21 Communicable Disease Exposure Statute Mississippi Miss. Code Ann. 97-27-14 — Felony Exposure (HIV, HBV, HCV) South Carolina S.C. Code Ann. 44-29-145 — Criminal Sexual Conduct with STI Non-Disclosure Louisiana La. R.S. 14:43.5 — Intentional Exposure to AIDS Virus; pending expansion legislation Civil Liability Negligence & Battery claims available in all 50 states; no criminal conviction required https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/sexually-transmitted-diseases-stds-lawsuits.html https://www.hivlawandpolicy.org/state-profiles/south-carolina https://www.kevinkuliklaw.com/is-std-transmission-a-criminal-offense-in-florida/ https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/liability-for-transmitting-a-sexually-transmitted-disease.html https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/transmitting-std-florida.htm https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/transmitting-std-north-carolina.htm