I've absolutely no interest in her sexually but just added someone to Favorites just as a way to bookmark them so I can read her Journal entries. Because we have a few things in common and I may find her writings interesting.   Was considering sending her a 1 or 2 sentence message just to let her know the Favorites means that and only that..but apparently no messages from males are accepted. Which is just as well, since too many on here are unable to see the truth even if it's right in front of them, though I mostly sympathize as many have been burned by the dishonest in the past. Others on the other hand, protest loudly how they hate all the unwanted advances but recoil even more from the encounter with someone who truly has no sexual interest in them but may have interests in common. Which is a bit rich given all the comments one hears about how it's bad form from the other side to only be interested sexually and to lose interest when it's for friendship..pot and kettle.. gander and goose.. On a positive note, life despite its pains and worse, can be very beautiful, so those of you, which is very many, who struggle with depression or holiday stress..please take a few moments or longer to take good care of yourself and remind yourself This Too Will Pass about bad things in your life, and find some moments to enjoy stillness, warm solitude, quiet and inner peace.

Alright......look... if I get a DM asking me to go to Google chat OR any other chat program BEFORE we get to know each other a LITTLE bit THAT is NOT going to happen. Much like that "take off your clothes" and/or "what  are you wearing"    Yes I want and NEED to find a Master OR Mistress and YES that this web page has been reckoned to Mos eisley spaceport, and I understand people have been hurt from their interactions. However:   *I* know that *I* am worth it, I'm worth the time AND effort that is required to claim me, this isn't going to be easy and IF it was then wouldn't you be more concerned? Perhaps, JUST perhaps the reason people get those type of people that are NOT "real" is because of the DM's that they receive? Take it for what it is...   SO the pictures of me ARE me.....the  text I wite (with spelling errors) ARE mine. i'm asking for you, to look deeper, take a chance to nuture a relationship with me,THAT is what will form a unbreakable bond, NOT "what are you wearing".....   With Love,   hope     

My mind wanders   and where I am in my head in a given moment may not be in a particular space or focused on a particular thought. A lot of the time I'm just absorbing being, breathing and living in those few seconds of being alive. Other times I'm visually and physically absorbing being in Daddy's presence so that if the day comes that his circle of life has completed and my time hasn't yet come to join him, my mind will relive these magical years, months, days, hours and minutes of our priceless endless love. The power and strength of our individual selves is potential and possibilities that may or may not be realized. The roles we assume as Dom/Master/sub/slave without one another is conceptual fantasy and unrequited desire. Together we are fortified and the conceptual, fantasy and desire are lived and experienced. Our personal chemistry has been altered. More than a high from the natural dopamine we create for one another. We're in eachothers blood, in the air we breathe, and all that sustains us to be alive. There is nothing worth experiencing if I'm not sharing it with my Master. Loving and living to serve my Master/King/Life partner.

Dear maste,daddy,mistress, mommy,Im a french sissy slave 57 on good shape living in Palawan Philippines.Serving  as a sub slave for household duty and sex is my dream.Being dress as a maid for my service ,as an inmate for my punishment as an retardate teen girl for going outI love to be keep on chastity and diaper full time , wear 50s style lingerie, girdles,full cup bra,garter belt, stocking and more.Being keep on chain, shackles,collard for punishment are good for me.Correction and education by flogging, spanking, whipping or more are again normal. Feel free to ask me anything!   Hope you have interest on meCheersSissy Melanie

Wrote this years ago. Thoughts ?  Do these four words make a perfect mantra ?  A good Submissive is " Consistent , Eager, Obedient, and Devoted. 

Keeping in mind that as soon as I saw that he had written before, I rolled my eyes and made a choice to respond, knowing how this was gonna go, and since I'm in a mood, it was slightly amusing and I almost chuckled when he did exactly what I expected him to do. Which I'm sure would have pissed him off worse... I received this today from someone listed as a Dom, who had contacted me well over a year ago, then again last December. Just 4 months ago, but he's once again completely forgotten that he wrote me before, that he was asked to do something then disappeared, forgot that he had written the second time and was REMINDED, and asked if he had done it yet, but wanted me to commit to being interested (in someone who had ghosted once already and hadn't done anything he was asked to do, which was to read and EDUCATE HIMSELF, not do anything that benefited ME, but instead forgot even speaking to me) and now he's written me again. With the same message as the first two times. 3/6/22 6:48 AM "Good morning, Miss, Hope you are doing well I am wondering if per chance you could possibly be open to a 64 going on 34 year old sub and iring slave located in North Aurora, west of chicago who is intelligent openminded kinky adventurous fun and selfassured about who and what he is? Most of all one who seeks a true Owner and Domme who is a totally devoted to you like me? It is so hard to find a genuine and suitable Domme and Owner in this lifestyle I hope you find me to be exceptional seems like we want the very same thingfor You to take total control of memind body and soul And what you depict your profile is quite interesting and just what I know I need Although my profile says I am a Dom, I have come to realize I am a stone sub I have the ability desire and wherewithal to host and come visit and ultimately relocate should it come to that I travel your way quite a bit on business But most of all I would love to just have the honor and privilege to get to know you you seem so genuine Hope to hear from you"   This is what I wrote him just now. I think it was pretty mild, all things considered. "angeldmort on 3/6/22 at 7:20 AM: Considering that we had a conversation not 4 months ago and you've already forgotten that, I guess not And you obviously didn't read my profile THIS time, either So youve spammed me twice, I let you off the hook last time and had a conversation anyway, and now you are back having done the same exact thing, so you learned jack shit last time and are telling me either how forgettable I am, or how incredibly forgetful and lazy you are Either way, buhbye" and his entirely predictable reply - "sorry Had I known you were such a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered personI would not have contacted you in the first placenot at all the type of Domme or person I want in my life Who wants to take the time to read all the gibberish anyway Thanks and buhbye to you, too"   Now, this is not at ALL even remotely uncommon. This is the Standard Operating Procedure for guys contacting women via the internet for the purpose of getting the attention they want. They bury us in compliments, make grand sweeping statements about their desire for a relationship, and when they don't get it, usually because of their own screwups, they immediately do a 180 and get verbally abusive. (Or if in person, physically abusive/violent/deadly.) And in this case, since it's a BDSM centered site, he stated he wanted a Domme "to take total control of me mind body and soul." But apparently that did not extend to actually asking him to DO anything. Even if it makes him better able to get what he wants.   When I asked him back in December if he had read any of the books I recommended to him, based on his complete lack of submissive experience and his stated desire to get some, he replied "Quite honestlyI have not But if You feel You are truly interested in me, I will gladly do so as I know that would make me better prepared to be the best I can be for you should it come to that And that would be my entire focus"   Do you see the problem? A total stranger on the internet. We have exchanged a few emails. That's it. I have to profess my TRUE interest in him, without knowing him beyond what his shown so far in this extremely limited way. After he has already failed to do the most basic of things - - actually READ my profile, which has a couple things in it specifically to let me know if someone read it, right at the very tip top where it's easy to see - written a profile that actually reflects who is is, instead of one that he thinks will get him laid as a Dom - write an actual email to me instead of sending me the copy/pasted message he sends every Domme - write a message to me that doesn't lie about having read my profile and "seems like we want the very same thing" - stick around in a conversation HE had initiated - done the only thing I actually asked of him, which was to read a book I thought would help him with his search - be honest about not wanting to do this, like a fucking adult, instead of ghosting like a little bitch - keep track of who he contacts so he doesn't insult my intelligence with another copy/paste message that just tells me I'm not interesting enough for him to remember Yeah. I'm gonna be SO interested. In blocking him from contacting me again. But he feels I should give that, before he has to give ANYTHING. He should get payment up front, before he begins the work of becoming someone in who a Domme COULD be interested in. Because ... He wants it? And being female, I should want to hand it to him on a silver platter.   And the second that is pointed out to him - the first time I explain that no, he has screwed up, and screwed HIMSELF over with his own actions, and lack of actions, and lack of basic effort on his own behalf, more than once? I am "a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered person." Because that's how a "submissive" responds to correction from a Dominant Woman? Or it seems to be, based on how this goes, over and over and over. No recognition of personal responsibility for his mistakes, no apology for ghosting, no appreciation of being given a reply despite the obvious lack of effort, no self-awareness at all that might lead to him fixing his mistakes, changing his course, and possibly finding what he claims to want. Just the immediate knee-jerk flip to insults and abuse. But hey, at least he didn't call me old, fat and ugly. That's the usual guy response to getting rejected.   And again, this is standard stuff. This is the main kind of interaction women have on dating sites. This is the main kind of interaction Dommes have on BDSM sites. It may as well be the same exact person writing me these, over and over. As the song says - "Only the names will change." This is not submission. This is self-entitlement. This is toxic masculinity. This is a fragile male ego. And THIS is what is standing between you and the Domme you want to kneel to. THIS is what we see and expect when you write us before reading our profile, when you send us a generic email that could have been sent to someone else, when you don't fill out your profile, when you want us to be "interested" before having an actual conversation and letting us get to know you. I know it sees like work, but honestly, without it, you are asking for a handout, and we know that hand will probably turn into

Have this on my other profile as well not that anyone ever reads on this site but, oh well .....LOL Took this online test. Turns out it's exactly the kind of vanilla side in a man that I am looking for. I usually don't do those online tests but I was bored   LOL My guy:  Fun-Loving Charmer  Someone who makes life feel exciting and easy. I'm drawn to humor, confidence, and people who don't take themselves too seriously. Dates should feel like a good time, not an interview.My type: Funny, playful, socialGreen flags: Effort without pressureRed flags: Boring routines, emotional heaviness too fast Yes there has to be a vanilla side as well, or the kind of lifestyle D/s that I am looking for just won't work.  No, you can't fake it, and No, I won't just take your word for it, it has

  A mediocre Dominant tells.   A good Dominant teaches.   An excellent Dominant explains.   A true Dominant inspires.  

This was writen by one of my slaves, so I though I would post it here. Almost everyone wants something for nothing. Bargains Attract. Finding a good value excites almost everyone, so much so that we rush to share the news. Wanting anything for free is perhaps human nature. However, many of us have had to learn the hard way, again and again, that you get what you pay for. But cheap dishes, you’ll be replacing them sooner rather than later. You reap what you sow, this is also true of human interaction as well, and most people sadly, cannot put the two concepts together and compare them. Why do we think that people should respect us before we respect them? Why do we crave privacy and yet are often quick to invade someone else’s? Why do we think that others will be there for us, even if we aren’t available for them? Being part of the group, a house, friends, family, means being the same in return. It’s not an easy thing to do, in fact it’s rather time consuming.  Although the rewards are indisputable, we still find people who tend to hesitate, and wait, letting other people make the first move. First to commit, first to open their arms, first to open their house, first to be honest, first to be forthright, first to take action, speak their mind, and offer homage, first to everything.  Getting the other people to commit first, reduces our own effort, perhaps making it easier, but even with that said you will still receive according to what you give. He who gives little, receives little. He who risks nothing, gains nothing. Being able to see, comprehend, grock and utilize this principle simplifies our lives, not complicates it as so many would have us believe. Once we Master this principle of living, I believe we never forget it. Loving you has made me want to become a better person, I know I don’t often show it, But I do appreciate everything you do, most of all I appreciate the learning lessons. Thank you so much for having the patience to put up with me.

I found the start of this made a few changes... A partial list of subby duties we are looking for... - Able to laugh, giggle, roll eyes, face palm or any combination thereof to my horrible jokes and bad puns.- Have a personality and brain of her own and able to give an opinion, respectfully of course.- Help in my efforts and quest for world domination.- Be an appreciated, non-imaginary friend who just enjoys being around.- Have quirks and perhaps a bit of crazy in the right doses.- Puts up with snuggles while watching a movie-or any time.- Suck, but not in a bad way.- Put up with being protected and adored.- Be sweet and innocent but oh so dirty.- Can handle being used for sexual teasing and Sensual Domination.- Who cries sometimes when she’s happy- Is willing to do a strip tease to the song “Itsy Bitsy Spider” while doing all the motions.- Who appreciates that sometimes Master just needs physical release and you are there for that.- Suffer through a nice candle light meal full of conversation.- Enjoy new adventures.- Who celebrates Master’s enjoyment whether she is the source or not  - Understand, put up with and even enjoy a bit of sarcasm.- Will be slightly embarrassed when I open the door for her.- Enjoys getting dressed up, and dressed down for her Dom.- Can enjoy breakfast for dinner.- Able to stand having her neck kissed for no other reason then it was within reach. Oh there will be lots of service, duties, kinks and sex too, but We wanted to mention the really important things first. So if you still have an interest, send a message -- we'd enjoy talking to you.

  Physical attractions are common but  Mental connections are rare   Once you have had the latter, the former will never be enough again.

Some vanilla history: I had given up on dating in the lifestyle after the end of a 7-year D/s relationship back in 2022. In 2023, I met My ex bf on a vanilla dating app and he said that he initially thought I was a catfish. He had been messaging with Me "casually" for a few weeks and when it started to feel like it just wasn't going anywhere, I attempted to end communication. Apparently, that piqued his interest and he planned an actual date. When I stepped out of My car, it took him a few minutes to compose himself. He seriously was expecting someone else I guess and didn't know what to do when it wasn't. I was thoroughly entertained by the whole thing and honestly couldn't stop laughing at the situation. I gave him a one arm hug and he was shaking! It was adorable. And of course, over the 18 months or so that we dated, I loved telling his friends that story and how he almost blew it being so nonchalant in the beginning.

It will be OK Two drifting people on different ways,Living limited lives from distant days.Surrounded by many, yet still alone,Both in houses, but neither at home.A chance encounter - light, no more -Stirred something deep in each to the core.Old memories woke, a future appeared,New beginnings whispered where caution had steered.One stepped forward, the other stepped back,Too much to carry, too much to track.Too deep for one heart to sustain,And early joy gave way to pain.Like moths to flame they circled still,Neither yet ready for the bitter pill.Until at last he spoke his truths,Releasing both back to their roots.They dared to dream - and will again -Just not together.That much is plain.

When will you be back? Remember when we first met? Knives and sex?  It's you I choose in the end. Whether you come back to me or not.  You are my eternal flame that I chase.  You are the way my soul is leading to.  It's your name that slides of my tongue with love and lust.  Let the flames take me but let them not take this love.  A fallen creature like you ... Who do you pray to? I hope it's the universe cause that's what I pray to and hope in.  A love like ours and a deeper future vision. This can't go to waste.  You don't have to chase me or speak.  But I'll be around youll hear your name from my lips everyday.  Love you Luce! Keep your head up and fight the battles you need to and turn away the ones that don't matter.  You know who you are. You know your truth. You know where your heart leads. Don't let them strip that away.   

On Losing the Thread I have lost my job. Layoffs, because the market is what it is right now, which is to say brutal and indifferent and entirely uninterested in timing or circumstance or the particular weight of losing income when everything else is already precarious. I am not alone in this. That does not make it lighter. Chicago may not be where I land. That sentence costs me something to write because I have fought for this city, for the proximity to my children's lives and the future I was building here, and the possibility of leaving it feels like one more thing being taken from a season that has already taken too much. I wanted so much more than this moment. I want to be honest about that without dressing it up. I wanted the beautiful home and the man on his knees inside it, wanted to be served with the devotion I have written about and dreamed about and know with complete certainty I deserve. I wanted mornings that felt like the life I designed rather than the life that is happening to me. I wanted to be so thoroughly served and so completely held that the hard seasons had somewhere soft to land. Instead I am here. Tired. Hoping anyway, because I do not seem to be built for the alternative. But today I am allowing myself to say: this is not what I wanted. I wanted more.   I still do.  

There should be a place to go where you can fuck and feed. I remember with my ex we had sex pretty much 24/7. Call it the fuck and feed. Never found someone to keep up and even he complained about too much sex. Alas he was the only one I could just make/go get a sammich and we went right back it. We had sex in all the strange places graveyards temples churches, besides anywhere outside  We didn't discriminate.  This one time I dropped off my friend told him I'd pick him up in an hour my ex and I had sex in the car for the whole day we never stopped. My friend walked to my car (which was a parking lot) knocked on the window and said "some hour it's been over 12". My ex and I honestly thought it was like 10 mins. I have no regrets - just miss the sex all the time every time with a massive BBC. This i something of the past I don't want to stay there would like a repeat thanks 

Master's WritingsFoundations: Commanding vs LeadingI came across a Dominant who appeared to miss understand the difference between leading and commanding. A thing seen too often in the lifestyle, where these two terms become red into one, yet for Dominants they should be viewed as quite different.Command is a singular act at a specific moment in time. A direction given to another to do something and when that thing is done, the moment is over. There is no longevity, no lingering emotion or sense of something larger. Command exists to accomplish a specific thing at a specific moment - nothing more.Leading, on the other hand, is a process that cannot be accomplished in a single moment in time. It is more about a direction than a specific action and as such requires vision of the goal as well as awareness of the individual. It involves motivating, developing and inspiring people into action. Leading requires both the skill to communicate and the presence of a leader to identify the goal and describe the path how to get there.When command and leading become interchangeable, they typically devolve into commands strung together and submissives running to accomplish tasks, under the pretense of leading. Even though sometimes these tasks have legitimate value in the development of a submissive, in the larger scope, they miss the mark because what gets communicated to the submissive typically lacks the values, principles, and/or underlying lessons that connect the submissive to the dominant or to the lessons to be learned.So is one better than another? They are the equivalent of a scene compared to a dynamic. Commands are adequate for a single scene, yet commands will never provide the foundation for a power-imbalanced dynamic. For this, Dominants must lead and lead with vision of what they intend to create, clarity of roles, a sense of purpose about why even the little things matter and the commitment to live path they set forth, committing to the same level of quality they expect from others.

Effort and Results There are at least two parts to a slave's existence.  Effort and results.1. Effort is up to the slave.  At all times the salve must exhibit, even live in, effort.  Always doing the best it can with whatever resources it has, mental or physical, to achieve total involvement in the work assigned it.  This effort goes beyond duty, it is life incarnate for slave.  Nothing in slave's cognition takes priority over effort to please its Owner.2. Results are the province of the slave's Owner.  In fact, results have nothing to do with slave except how the Master may determine.  To judge results is God like.  slave is only related to God through its Owner.  It may well be slave has experienced life without an Owner.  This 'Ronin' state is the worst possible existence a slave can have.  One of the reasons for this is the freedom the slave has when it has an Owner that takes possession of determining the quality of results. As the Bible indicates the only man (person) free of God’s judgement is a slave.  Thus the slave needs to live in gratitude for everything.  This grateful slave state can never be 'assumed,' but, must always be expressed outside slave's brain in every thing it does and says.  Living in gratitude helps slave apply itself to effort at hand.

I lead a successful professional life, but my true fulfillment lies in relinquishing control within a dynamic. I crave the purpose and peace that come from serving, embracing structure, discipline, and the sense of belonging that ownership provides. I offer unwavering loyalty, trust, and honest communication to any connection we build.I seek a strong, confident Dominant who thrives in their role as a leader and values devotion and obedience. If you cherish control and commitment, I’m ready to follow your lead and support you fully.

I know what I want and willing to train, teach and discipline...not in position to support you as I am on SSI and have roommates..what I am looking for are roommates to relocate to North Bend/Coos Bay Oregon..we would have to get OUR own place...you MUST be willing to live 24/7 as female if not one already..you have a dream and so do I that is turning you into very feminine classy sophisticated woman outside the house and a cum loving bitch behind closed doors...understand this will be poly household with ONLY one DOM..have been on here under various aliases...NO photos showing butt plugs or stubbie or you will be blocked....current photos showing you in favorite outfits...so that you know my training techniques take between 18 months to 3 years to complete ,,,I ask for serious commitment after we have gotten to know on another.....I am very assertive, very aggressive, very controlling and have a habit of micro managing but chalk that up as being  Dom,,,,what type of foundation has been laid for me to build OUR house on?

In realms where strength meets humble grace, Submission finds its chosen space. A choice to yield, not weak but strong, In trusting hearts where love belongs.   It's not a surrender to despair, But a gift of trust, a love affair. A dance of souls, a subtle art, Where two as one find a brand-new start.   In nature's realm, the river bends, To flow with grace, it condescends. To mountains tall, it bows its stream, Submission's beauty, a tranquil dream.   In love's embrace, we often find, Submission's power, so intertwined. To give, to serve, to empathize, In these acts, our love shall rise.   Submission's not about defeat, But a choice to make love complete. In vulnerability, we find connection, Submission's path, a deep affection.   So let us honor this noble creed, Where love and trust plant a fertile seed. In submission's embrace, we stand tall, Together we rise, for love conquers all.  

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==94% Submissive91% Rope bunny90% Voyeur71% Exhibitionist70% Primal (Prey)66% Experimentalist 60% Non-monogamist58% Slave44% Masochist 43% Boy/Girl40% Brat 37% Switch36% Vanilla30% Pet17% Ageplayer 16% Degradee

Goddess Tabitha has been in New York all week and will be returning home on Monday afternoon. We facetime nightly for progress reports on my task list, updates on my daily chores and some cyberplay. She bought a new toy. It is an eight pad tens unit to start electric play with me when she gets home. We had a standard battery operated four channel but it finally gave out after a decade of use. The onlytime in thirteen years I have literally screamed and begged for mercy is when she put a electrode pad on the ball of each foot and the other one on each ankle. She set it to starburst and turned it to maximum strength. The cramping in my feet was beyond description and she left me that way for over 30 minutes. All because I had mentioned after being in heels all day that my feet hurt. I am NEVER allowed to complain about pain when my pain, or in this case, the shoes I was wearing were at her direction. Don't get me wrong, a tens untit can be very comfortable and soothing if used at milder settings, but if it is used for punishment it can be absolute hell. We will see how loving or not Goddess Tabitha is on Monday night.

Master's Writings Fundamentals: What Turns You on is Good & The Struggle Against Social Norms Far too often I find individuals hung up on their internal permission to lean into what turns them on. They’ve discovered this or that excites them, but due to baggage from social norms, upbringing, or who knows what prior learning or pressures they experienced in their lives, they struggle to allow themself the space or freedom to explore this desire more fully. It tends to lurk in the realm of things taboo, and frequently causes them feelings of shame, guilt, or a need to closet this part of themself off from the world and hide. I was chatting with a submissive the other day, who was struggling with a kink, they clearly found exciting, but felt immense guilt each time they approached it. They were essentially stuck in this tug of war between internal acceptance and desire fulfillment of this new found pleasure. This causing significant anguish emotionally as well as guilt for liking this new thing but knowing it was “wrong” somehow. As a person and as a submissive, they were seriously struggling with this both as a person and as a submissive. I believe there are some fundamentals that I believe are core to this conversation, both for them as well as for others who struggle similarly: Note: I will preface all of the following thoughts with the limitation that I am referring to pleasures, fetishes, kinks and actions that are consensual and safe for all involved.   Life is short, enjoy it however you can. I recognize this is a hedonistic view of things but life can be hard at times, I believe we should find pleasure and enjoy it wherever we can. What feels good, turns you on and brings you joy should be enjoyed. Pleasure is a very personal experience and as is the internal permission to allow yourself to enjoy the sensation. Seek out those pleasurable things and allow yourself to let them bring you happiness. Life is short. What turns you on is good and Social Norms are just other people’s opinion. Regardless of what that is. If it floats your boat, its a good thing. Never let anyone else tell you its not. Most of us were brought up with social stigmas around sex, gender, nakedness, and so on. We were taught by parents, church, media what is what is evil or wrong. Social norms, prejudices, stigmas, and things designated as taboo are passed on by others. We are brought up believing them and because of that, they hold power over us and they are hard to shake off. Yet, I believe, so long as it does not impact another person, you and you alone have the right to determine what is right and good for you. You hold solvency over your mind, will, and body. As soon as you can see feelings of wrongness, taboo, or evil, as opinions conveyed to you by others. As soon as you begin thinking, evaluating and choosing for yourself what is right, good and pleasurable, you will be ready to embrace “what turns you on is good”, and you will be open to far more than you could imagine. The journey of self discovery is an essential one. I believe discovering what you like and why you like it, is one of the beautiful journeys we get to experience as we enter the lifestyle. If we can maintain an open mind, open heart, and free ourself from feelings of guilt, shame, self judgment as we take this journey, we can learn more than we ever thought we could about who we are in life. There is an entire world out there of kinks, fetishes, aspaspects and combinations that may excite you, intrigue you, turn you on, or turn you off. Discovering these is a beautiful journey that goes far deeper than whether or not you like a thing. Understanding the why and the how, exploring what it is about a thing that speaks to you, brings a deeper understanding of who you are in ways you could never imagine. Learning Acceptance for others builds acceptance of self. As we discover our own likes and dislikes, we learn that what turns you on is not always what turns others on. Accepting ourself and our own personal preferences requires us to embrace the idea that YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK). Here in the lifestyle community, we don’t judge, don’t condemn, or shame what others enjoy, just as we would never want to be judged, condemned, or shamed for what we like. The vanilla world is full of instances of non-acceptance and persecution, but not here. Accepting others perspectives and desires as different than your own, helps you find acceptance for yourself, and is a powerful thing. When you can step outside yourself to see the struggle and understand it for why and why it is, you will be able to free yourself to understand yourself deeper and truly explore. To this submissive I spoke to, and others why may read this, I wish you a healthy, positive, and guilt free journey in the lifestyle. I hope you can embrace your pleasures fully and allow yourself to revel in them. As someone wise once told me, when you discover your “Freak Flag”, that truth you’ve found about yourself, Waive it high and proudly.

I've got some off time.  But next week it is back to 6 days a week.     I still wonder what it is with folks.  If you want to talk fine.  Im down with that.  I enjoy meeting new people and potentially making friends.  However... don't make promisses you have no intention of keeping.  Again, I can't say this enough, grow up and if the person you are talking to just isnt relationship material, tell them.  Do not just ghost them.  Its cruel.   Yes this is a "fetish" site.  Yes, some get off on cruel acts committed to them. But prolonged mental cruelty will ruin a person.   I miss the good ole days.  When if you had a problem with someone, you just told them and if it could be worked out, you did so. If not you walked away and left it alone.  If you were not interested in someone, you just told them. Not ghost them and leaving them wondering what they did wrong.  You got to know a person, the real person before jumping into commitments.  And a whole lot more.   What is worse, I have seen this behavior more and more from Gen X and later.  What the hell?   Everyone has their fantasies.  Their dreams and desires.  Everyone has their own idea on what and how this lifestyle is and should be.  However, at the end of the day, we are human beings.  Lets start there and start acting like it.  

My Master naturally controls my sex life. I'm not allowed to plesure myself without His permission; interestingly, He prefers that I don't wear my chastity cage: He says He wants me to build my self control and deny myself willingly for Him.   I am proud I am able to do this not just because it means I'm doing what I'm told but because it's a way of showing Him how much He mans in my life. When W/we speak on Skype though, and I know He is watching me (even though Master chooses not to tun on His camera), then He allows me to dip my hand into my panties and play with myself. That positive reinforcement between meetings with my Master and sexual pleasure is very powerful at many levels. At a purely physical level the association is fairly clear, but I also like the psychological dimension - the idea that I only get pleasure when He gets pleasure (from watching me). It's so helpful in weaning me away from my old fake life in which I thought only of my own pleasures and accepting my new slave life where my pleasures count for nothing. Only Master matters.    

The Weight of Three Minutes - An Erotic Short Story  The marble is cold under your knees. I designed the room precisely for this quality of cold, for the way it travels upward through a kneeling body and reminds it, without a word from me, of exactly where it is. The morning light moves across your bowed shoulders and finds the faint lines on your skin, my lines, exactly where I left them.   You hold the cup steady. I will give you that.   My fingers brush yours as I take it. A conductivity test, reading the current of you through brief contact. You do not tremble. Good. I bring the rim to my lips.   The first sip tells me everything. The base notes are correct, the Darjeeling first flush I require. But beneath it, the steep is wrong. Three minutes would have given me what I require. You gave me four. The tannins have opened in a way they should not have been permitted to, and the result is an astringency that sits at the back of the palate like a small, deliberate insult.   You know. You felt it before I tasted it, felt the error in the air the way a barometer feels weather. Your world has narrowed to the space between my slippered feet. Good. That is where it belongs.   I say your name. Just that.   "Yes, Goddess." The word hangs in the quiet room like an offering I have not yet decided to accept.   "The specifications are precise and they are not suggestions. Water temperature ninety degrees. Steep time three minutes. Measured. Not estimated. Not felt."   "Yes, Goddess."   "Explain the deviation."   The muscle in your jaw tightens. I catalog it. "The leaves were newer stock. I thought a longer steep would develop the flavor more fully. Bring out the muscatel notes you prefer."   "You thought."   I begin to circle you. Slowly. I am never in any hurry. I place my gaze on the back of your neck with the deliberate weight of something being pressed into soft material.   "You introduced variables. You assumed. Perfection does not accommodate feeling. The muscatel note I prefer is arrived at in precisely three minutes. Not your interpretation. Not your instinct. Three minutes, measured, as specified."   "A flaw in the cup is a flaw in the man. Do you doubt my parameters?"   "No, Goddess. Never."   But your fingers curl inward where they rest on your thighs. I see it. I note it. Nothing is too small to matter.   "Stand."   You rise in one fluid motion, taller than me, broader. And yet you make yourself smaller in my presence, as you have learned to do. It is one of the things I have built in you that I find most satisfying.   "Look at me."   Your eyes meet mine. The familiar desperate focus is there, the terror of demotion. But beneath it, a flicker. Not defiance. Something more interesting. A spark of independent thought, alive and un-extinguished.   My fingers, cool and precise, trace the line of your jaw. The shudder that moves through you is full-bodied and involuntary. Your breath catches.   "The grade for today's service is pending. We will see if the rest of your performance can correct the imbalance."   I turn toward the lounge. "Follow."   Two steps behind, as trained. The cage sits in its corner, black steel and clean lines, always the outer boundary of the visible world.   "Kneel here. You will remain until I have need of you. You will not speak. You will not move. You will contemplate the difference between three minutes and four."   You sink into position. Back straight, hands on thighs, head at the precise angle I have trained into you. You are, when you are like this, a beautiful object. I have made you that.   Not a muscle moves. Your breathing barely disturbs the air. Every resource of you pointed at the single task of being still enough to please me.   And yet. You chose to deviate. You chose to trust your own palate over my doctrine.   Something uncoils in my attention. Not anger. Sharper. Interest, which in my world is rarer and more dangerous than fury.   I say your name again, soft as a petal released from a great height.   Your eyes lift instantly.   "Come here."   You cross the distance on your knees and stop before me, your face level with my lap. You wait with your entire body.   "The grade is failing. A failing slave is placed in the cage. Denied touch. Denied sight."   Your throat moves. "Yes, Goddess."   "Do you wish to be caged?"   "I wish only what you wish, Goddess."   "That is not an answer. It is a recitation. The one who extended the steep had a wish. What was it?"   "I wished for it to be perfect for you. Not just correct. Perfect. The new harvest felt like an opportunity and I wanted to find something in it that you had not yet tasted."   There it is. Your ambition, layered over my specifications, believing itself generous.   I slide my fingers into your hair and close them. The breath that leaves you is unsteady. Your eyes close. "Your wish introduced error," I say, close to your ear. "Your personal pursuit of my pleasure contaminated the delivery of it. That is the failure."   I pull your head back. Your eyes open, wide, stripped of calculation. Simply present. Exposed. Looking up at the only person in your world who matters.   "And yet," my thumb finds the pulse hammering in your throat, "it was a beautiful ambition."   I release you.   "The grade remains failing. But the correction will be hands-on."   "Remove your shirt."

I genuinely love my boyfriend. I have loved a good number of people but this is the first time I've dated anyone for longer than two weeks who has not been argumentative, selfish, mean, and committed to never understanding me. And more often than not we communicate very well. We have argued twice in almost a year. He is kind and gentle with me. He is thoughtful and generous. He makes me feel calm and at peace. He doesn't behave as if he is irritated with me when I am anxious, depressed, or having panic attacks. He grounds me. He is all of the things I've wanted from all the serious partners I've had in the past.    He has never ever hurt me (except once when he asked me to go home and I took it personally lol).   Absolutely zero of my relationships have ever been this good, the worst being my marriage. I can say I am absolutely happy when I am with him which is what pushed me to want to be happy when I am without him. I had never thought it possible for me to be happy, alone or with another person since I had never been happy in a relationship before. I felt good and would call it happiness but I wasn't happy. Now that happiness is possible I must learn to find it inside of myself which is difficult when you've been miserable for 31 years    So this is what it means to find your person.  He is like starlight, like the laughter of babies, like the colors of the sunrise and the sunset, like the buds in spring, like a glass of refreshing cool water, like a warm hug. He is love. He is safety. Something I never thought I'd ever have. Something I've never seen anyone have in person. Something I didn't expect from what was supposed to be a tinder one night stand.    A one night stand that ended up with us being intertwined so intimately that we are now inseparable.

Current Mood...... I have climbed highest mountainsI have run through the fieldsOnly to be with youOnly to be with you I have runI have crawledI have scaled these city wallsThese city wallsOnly to be with you But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I have kissed honey lipsFelt the healing in his fingertipsIt burned like fireThis burning desireI have spoke with the tongue of angelsI have held the hand of a devilIt was warm in the nightI was cold as a stone But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I believe in the kingdom comeThen all the colors will bleed into oneBleed into oneBut yes I'm still runningYou broke the bondsAnd you loosed the chainsCarried the crossOf my shameOh my shameYou know I believe it But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for []https://youtu.be/e3-5YC_oHjE?t=74url)

*** NOT LOOKING ***My main profile text is a little over a year old. Like most people here, I avoid updating the main profile because you have to have it approved all over again if you do. It's a profile, not an advertisement. I am happy with my existing arrangement for discipline. I'm not attracted to men at all, so your emails go straight to my Bulk Mail folder, which I only browse occasionally. Yes, even yours. If that seems harsh, it's because otherwise my main inbox gets flooded with unwanted approaches from blokes who don't read profiles and don't respect boundaries. I have occasionally accepted men for the disciplinarian role (as long as it is purely platonic) but I emphasise once more that I'm happy with my existing arrangements for this. You probably won’t get a reply unless you meet BOTH of these conditions (and even then it's not guaranteed): 1) use the magic word to show you have actually read this journal 2) catch my interest in some way that I like  Like I said in my main profile, I am not into the Dom/sub side of things. So if you approach me expecting to meet a slave or submissive, you're going to be very disappointed. It's just not my thing.  P.S. Guys, the new magic word is "tiger". This little test shows you have at least read this journal, so it should filter out a few of the idiots.    

I write these for a reason, ya know. Pages and pages of "this is who I am" and "this is shit you should avoid when approaching a Domme and "this is how to best approach any Domme, and this specifically is how to approach me." And STILL, I get emails like this last one - To paraphrase   'Hey, random Domme in X city,  I'm gonna be in your town and am looking for a one night stand. Here's a half dozen pics of me naked so you can see my DICK, because I didn't give a shit enough to make any effort to find out who you are before I sent you this copy paste bullshit that I sent every Domme in your city with one short line to suggest I read your profile.' W. T. F. And we aint talking 'bout some hard body Jason Mamoa lookin dude. We are talking below average at best, saggy and squishy, just like a million other dudes. But he felt it was somehow SUPER important that I would wanna see it. Especially his erection. Cause LAWD knows, a man got nuthin else to show a woman, am I right? Maybe he actually made a little bit of effort and looked at the pics of my sweetie and thought 'hey, she likes soft squishy guys!' But I really doubt it. Effort would have led him to see my views on dick pics, etc. And he loaded me up with those.  Ahh well. Back to working on the window, and then the costume order, and then maybe some lunch.  Just needed to express my WTELF??????

Feeling the need to update the profile a bit   Seeking an alpha-type mentor who prefers encouragement over rigid discipline. I love "protector" energy, but I require a partner who knows how to listen—to my body, my energy, and my limits. The Essentials: Patience: I don't rush into sex or scenes just because the vibe is right. Privacy: My home is my sanctuary. I only host once we are in a committed relationship. Respect for Titles: I do not use the term "Master" outside of a committed collar. To me, that title is sacred and signifies a total giving of myself that must be built over time. Dominance vs. Ego: I’m looking for a leader, not an ego-trip. If you’re domineering instead of dominant, we won't be a match.  And dont get me started on my post below where i described 'the dominate male" Geesh...educateyourselfs already...the Google is a powerful tool! Let’s see if our rhythms match before we ever talk about power.

Why I don't want to have a sexual relationship with a domme... I've been here since it was called CollarMe, not Collarspace.  A long, long time.    I'm not a shlub.  I'm in reasonably good shape, take care of myself, can articulate my thoughts and treat everyone with respect.  So it's been relatively easy for me to meet dominants and I've met several over the years.  Unless it was a one-time meeting for specific scene play, every relationship I've had that started here ended up being entirely sexual in a "might as well be vanilla" fashion with no or next to no domination.   Once I sleep with you, you won't dominate me in any serious way if you ever intended to in the first place.  Or if you do, it will be "30 shades of yawn".  I have that situation going on right now with a domme I met on Fetlife.  Oh, the sex is amazing, but if I just wanted sex, I would join a dating app and I could have it every night of the week with a much wider selection of partners.   I want to be throroughly humiliated, subjugated and degraded in (as I say in my profile) some very specific ways. That's not something you're going to be able to do to me if we're having an intimate relationship.  Trust me.  Once those actions and the associated feelings are involved, you won't be capable of treating me the way I want to be treated.  I need someone who can see me for what I want to be, which is a means to an end for them.  I need someone who understands the concept of "mutually beneficial relationship" but can separate that from a sexual relationship.  What happens if your vehicle has a problem?  You take it to a mechanic.  You don't need to have a loving relationship with the mechanic to get the vehicle repaired.  You bring in the vehicle, he repairs it, you take care of him and go on with the rest of your day.  That's the extent of the relationship and it's fine.  Everyone gets what they want.  I think a lot of dominants on this site who genuinely have some hardcore dominant tendencies that delve into the sadistic side are trying to find everything in one person, and that's a shame, because it's a two way street.  Certainly not all kinks are acceptable to all people so not all dommes are compatible with all subs (and even if they were, we all have our aesthetic preferences) but for those who really want to put someone in their place, that will be better and far more thoroughly accomplished if that place isn't also in bed.  

You want a chase And I'll give you one baby Two can play this game I'll have you coming back  Make me scream your name in bed And afterwards I'll push you away Then I'll sing songs to you and dance for you But you mustn't touch I'll have you crawling back to mate But oh why should I cave in I'll tell you no  And smile as I walk away Want a chase I'll give you one Remember you put me on that pedestal  Now I'll have you begging you didn't Two can play the game giving a way for a chase I'll be your prey in this scene But can you catch me or will I get away?  Darling your making me dangerous like you Touch me and it will burn  Just like you did to me After all we dance in the flames The pain sounds like your name Now I have you begging me asking if you're going insane    

Here is an open thought. I am not on this site to find love. I have been loved, I have been engaged twice to the same man, that was a wild ride. I am not the type to have kids, however I can see myself adopting the runt of a litter who has no hope and a limited future and share my survival skills to make the runt the front runner in life.  I have always loved being the assumed underdog in life. I am a working professional so I will expect a man I try to connect with to be the same. I am not interested in a person's bank balance or assests, honestly none of my business. I do expect a man who is in my company to not be a cheap skate and I have met a couple. I am not expecting to be bought but I do expect if a man wants a BORN women who enjoys her feminity I should not have to spell out make an effort with flowers, make an effort with running the bath, make and effort with you see a pretty dress or skirt and think I know ONE women in my company who would look good in that. I appreciate men contact me and offer they want to be one of my two men but when I ask you to unmask yourself and tell me who you are, I want to know I am not inviting an unkept, unwashed, unclean, diseased, unemployed dread of society into my world or my bed. I don't think that is a hard ask. If you want to see my face not an issue, I do WhatsApp and you can even video chat for all I care but if you make me jump hurdles I will make you jump the same bar.   C

The Lighthouse Within: Illuminating Love and Power in Dynamic Union I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this i tweaked this song with a higher pitch and a faster beat to really get into a deeper and more fulfilling emotional space than the song was. however, i am moving most of my platforms to something more professional ish and don't want to deal with the copyright. just know if you pitch it up and move it to a faster speed it's a different experience that is. beyonce's voice sounds more childish, impish, and little girl ish. a emotional and mental state i can resonate with more fully as an adult and little girl. the jayz voice sounds more of a stronger timber and more of a high hit on the drum sound....something more direct and focused and intentional and intense. the sounds in the background that are celebratory sound grander. the piano sounds angelic and full of joy, uplifting, something literally awesome. awe·some /ˈôsəm/ adjective extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear. something other wordly, something in the clouds, something more expansive than earth ever can be. Uh, uh, uh This (uh, uh) is (uh, uh), ouu! Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like, "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love Representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still) I put it down for the 713 and we still got love for the streets (ow!) We played it cool at the pool of the Cancun, VMA Confidence you exude make the fools stay away Me, I played the room, let the fools have they say Fate had me sitting next to you on the plane And I knew straight away, uh The next time we would speak was like two years away You had a man, you shut it down until you two had a break I bet that dude rued the day You kept me up on the phone while you were away You came back, I let you set the date, Nobu on the plate I brought my dude to play it cool, my first foolish mistake Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this Queen, I ain't mean no disrespect But the way I network, it's hard for me to connect My first time in the ocean went exactly as you'd expect Meanwhile, you going hard, jumping off the top deck A leap of faith, I knew I was up next I never told you, but I told a few people we wed Me, I'm off to Rome, you going back home instead My first time in my life a live nigga felt dead You came back, I had to act like it was cool in my head Thoughts of jumping the broom, a player never been swept Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) To all the good girls that love hustlers To the mothers that put up with us To all the babies that suffered cause us We only know love because of ya this song talks about still being from where you are from. the 713. this song doesn't need to be decoded as deep as others. it's a tale of two bodacious bombastic people. i see it in the daddy dominant and little girl personality and identities. strong, powerful, like greek gods in sculptures running the world. pushing the line between safe and da

After my first marriage to a cheater, I developed the confidence to start exploring bondage. I have a strong need for connection with a lover. Random hook-ups don't feel right to me. On the other hand, I love to flirt and have no problem meeting people anytime, anywhere. To balance this out, I experimented with chastity, both mental and physical. Around this time I made some good looking friends who got me comfortable with showing off my body for them. This was all very exciting but was not matching my desire for a relationship built on trust that includes times of intense sexual expression. I wanted to have a bondage partner that was as strong minded and aggressive as I was.With years of searching, it is dawning on me that my natural manner attracts compassionate and often sexually submissive women. My hidden desire is to be the submissive partner, however, I wanted to feel my submission during daily life rather than in the bedroom, without squashing my masculine personality. I'm searching for an unusual balance where I am appreciated for being a responsible man navigating every day life but with my happy partner having the power to flip my switch into a lusty and aggressive lover who will pin her down and take us both into sexual adventures in bondage and submission. I am now picturing a scenario in which my I commit to someone by surrendering the keys to my chastity belt. On days of her choosing, she provides me an opportunity for freedom knowing that I am quite frustrated with lust for her. This is my license to drop my normal demeanor and become a little meaner, taking what I need in the way that I want. When the time to revert to public persona returns, it is understood that she should claim the keys and remind me that I belong only to her. This is what I might term a submissive led switch, with the role-reversal determined by the woman not by playing domme but by choosing to let the dogs out! Yes, I want to have to freedom to using my ability to capture and dominate, but I don't want to have to suppress my desire to do so. If I hand you the keys, I want us to be comfortable knowing that when sex happens, it happens only because you want it to happen. You will know I am always ready when you are because you are my only release.

Awaken to gentle licks upon my labia and the tickle of your facial hair on my inner thighs  You knowing my body and realizing that sucking my clit is not what gets me going  But that gentle tongue massage on my lower lips causes me to softly moan and drip with wetness  I'm in the euphoria of emotional bliss  Slow intense grinding along with the need to run  I'm about to explode  What a way to wake up,  as the main course I've trained you well and you know how to please  Now, I will lay you back, tie you up, or leave you free  I know before I'm done you'll be screaming please!

  I'm the girl you've been thinking aboutThe one thing you can't live withoutYeah, I'm the girl you've been waiting forI'll have you down on your kneesI'll have you begging for moreYou probably thought I wouldn't get this farYou thought I'd end up in the back of a carYou probably thought that I'd never escapeI'd be a rat in a cage, I'd be a slave to this placeYou don't know how hard I fought to surviveWaking up alone when I was left to dieYou don't know about this life I've livedAll these roads I've walkedAll these tears I've bled So how can this be?You're praying to meThere's a look in your eyesI know just what that meansI can be, I can be your everything I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for I'm the one that you need and fearNow that you're hooked, it's all becoming clearThat all your judgments that you placed on meWas a reflection of discoverySo maybe next time when you cast your stonesFrom the shadows of the dark unknownYou will crawl up from your hiding placeTake a look in the mirrorSee the truth in your face So how can this be?You're praying to meThere's a look in your eyesI know just what that meansI can be, I can be your everything I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for Oh whoa ho, oh whoa ho, oh whoa ho I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me, you want me, you need me! I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for ›