I am a heterosexual submissive transwoman named Julie, and one of the several categories for which the modern term is sissy.  That means as a transwoman I am primarily attracted to men and am submissive to them, though I also enjoy other transwomen.  I am however bigender because I do not want to give up the societal advantages of being male to earn a living.  It took me a long time to figure these things out and realize I was not bisexual.  As a transwoman, I am ideally looking for long-term but occasional relationship with a mostly heterosexual man, ideally as his mistress.  I want to make a man really happy because I'll do things for him that most wives will not.  I will appear to him and behave for him as close to his ideal female partner as I can.*************************The one essential book every transwoman should read is Whipping Girl: A Transexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serano, now in its third edition (Seal Press, 2024).  This is a detailed analysis of what it means to be a transwoman and the obstacles we face.  It is important to note on this site that the title does not refer to masochism but to the frequent scapegoating of transwomen in the media as a threat to society.  Serano's argument is that transwomen are demonized because of the rampant misogyny of Western society, where any feminine traits are denigrated, and any masculinity, including the toxic masculinity of cultural conservatives, is privileged. Even some feminists are anti-feminine, not realizing that is probably because they have transmen tendencies.  Part of this "transmisogyny" is also the mistaken notion that male and female are opposites ("oppositional sexism") with nothing in between, and part of it is due to the mistaken belief that your birth gender cannot be changed.  But as the book points out, many men have some feminine traits and many women have some masculine traits.  The book also notes that we constantly unconsciously judge people as male or female based on just a few characteristics without every seeing their genitals or their chromosones, so a person's sex in society is not based on their genetics or organs.The third edition has many good rejoinders to current antitrans-hysteria, notably in the new last chapter.  3% of men and 3% of women appear to have some trans tendencies.  Gender-affirming medical care such as hormones and surgeries for trans people has a low rate of regret, around 1%, whereas similar interventions for nontrans people such as breast augmentation and reduction or hormone supplementation have a regret rate of 14%.  Puberty-blocking medications have been used for years for nontrans children with hormone defects, with no ill effects or inabilty to reverse them.  Trans children who have been denied gender-affirming care have a 14 times higher suicide rate than other children.  Trans children appear in families at the same rate independent of the degree of trans support in their families, so there is no "social contagion" with trans tendencies.  There are more self-identified trans people today than in the past, but that is because society has become more welcoming.  Trans people show no evidence of being sexual predators, any more than women who dress well are sexual predators: Marginalized groups (think blacks) are often hyper-sexualized in the media.  As for "bathroom bills", I find it amusing that the current policy for U.S. government buildings which says that people must use the bathroom of their birth sex, in the avowed goal of protecting women from perverts, forces transmen to go to female bathrooms no matter how much facial hair they have -- something that will make women pretty uncomfortable.  But forcing us transwomen to go to male bathrooms in full drag will not be bad -- men are terrifically scared to look at other men in a bathroom, much less men wearing dresses, for the danger of being throught gay. A weakness of Serano's book is that she sticks to her own perspective as a lesbian transwoman, and doesn't have much to say about transmen.  She also doesn't sound sympathetic to us sissies; she says tranwomen are "fierce" and not passive.  But of course being passive is not necessarily feminine, and could be just reflect to the long oppression of women (as with other minorities) by society.  We need more books on other kinds of trans people.  But for now, Serano's book is important reading.

Hello :) I have been sick this last week with Covid. I'm finallly getting better but still sneezing alottt but I'm getting better and am soooo thankful for that. I've been feeling very little this last week. wishing I had someone to take care of me a bit. Someday maybe that will happen for me but right now it's just me! I'm glad I can start getting back to normal this week and go back to work. I feel Like I've lost a week of my life truly I have just slept for a week and ate saltine crackers because I haven't been able to taste anything lol. I'm miss writing on here, my old profile had many pages of my writing but I've lost all of that unfortunately. maybe I'll try to write more. I'm sure it won't be super exciting stuff all the time but it helps me get out of my head a bit.  i started talking to an old friend again. I've known him for 8 years which is crazy! Weve always talked about getting together but its hard with the distance and just life things. i am glad we are talking again, he makes me feel safe and special and sometimes that's all I need.   

Im Back into feminization, tho it's a tough time and go of it. It's just I have always had this feeling of being born into the wrong gender. Don't get me wrong I'm all male. But I fantasize about what it would be like to be female.  Recently I have out my cock back into chastity. Which I consider my clit and i have purchased an anal diolatar set and have been training my asshole nownmy pussy to strech out. i also have a dilod that I use to penitetrae my pussy on and get use to building up the sensation and tolerance to the friction my pussy can take.  It's hard doing it solo and not having the motivation from another to keep training on a regular basis. Sometimes I hit a wall and don't feel like continuing. It makes me feel more feminine and sissy like. The end goal being only able to cum or orgasm through anal means. While still being locked in chasitity. Currently I'm on day 60 in chastiity and on my 3rd sized diolatar plug. Some times I fall asleep with it still inside me. 

I’ve decided to stop actively looking for a partner. This isn’t because I’ve lost interest in D/s or because I’ve become cynical. Quite the opposite. Over the years I’ve become clearer about the kind of relationship I want, and I’m no longer willing to compromise that just to avoid being alone. I’m not looking for occasional play, casual encounters or something that’s switched on and off at weekends. I’ve always wanted a genuine relationship where trust, commitment and a 24/7 dynamic are simply part of everyday life. Not a scene, not a fantasy, but a way of living together. Perhaps that’s asking too much in today’s world. If so, I’d rather accept being on my own than settle for something that was never going to make either of us happy. I’m not closing the door completely. Life has a habit of surprising us. But I’m no longer searching, advertising or hoping that the next message will be different. If the right person ever appears, wonderful. If not, I’ll continue enjoying my life, my dog, my holidays, my hobbies and the peace that comes from knowing I stayed true to what I was looking for. Sometimes accepting that something may never happen is easier than endlessly chasing it.

I'm noticing I need to spell this out since my profile likes isn't obvious enough. I have very little interest in sex. In fact, I connect better with people who enjoy keeping someone in long-term chastity or orgasm denial than someone who wants their partner(s) to have orgasms.  I am on the Ace Spectrum - I may experience sexual attraction, and I may even get turned on by certain conversations or ideas. but this is more of an exception rather than a regular occurring event. I most likely don't want to have sex with you or be made to orgasm by you. I don't need to be fixed or trained either.  I'm quite okay with my inability to get turned on and as a good friend explains asexuality - I am more likely going to get more excited over a bowl of freshly popped popcorn than the idea of having sex.  However, if you are someone who truly, and I mean TRULY, is interested in orgasm denial and chastity please feel free to reach out to me.  Eventually, with enough teasing, and edging, with someone who knows how I get turned on, I turn into a puddle of pathetic beggingness for an orgasm and THAT is hot to me. 

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

The sun shining subtly on a sideof this sin is like a sound in my insidesthat shimmer with silence.Silence that strain to see the stars.And soon this season will shift away,and my sadness will slither southboundwith these strenuous sufferings.I may bask in the sun,but those stars sing my song.Someone may scoff at this small bird,but I dare souls to reveal their sub scrip tions.I might be seized in a straightjacketand my sex deprived, my song stolen,and my stimulation snuffed.But this sum is still greater than most dull lives.This is how a songbird thrives.But lo, this is no ordinary songbird.This is a phoenix, singing its pleasurebehind a mask of silence,and setting aflame her significancein favor for ashes.~ dirtydarling

this came to me last night as they do....the multi level.   first level is the lyrics: "Touch, touch I remember touch Touch, touch I remember touch Where do I belong? Touch, I need something more I remember touch I need something more in my mind Touch, I remember touch Pictures came with touch A painter in my mind Tell me what you see A tourist in a dream A visitor, it seems A half-forgotten song Where do I belong? Tell me what you see I need something more Kiss, suddenly alive Happiness arrive Hunger like a storm How do I begin? A room within a room A door behind a door Touch, where do you lead? I need something more Tell me what you see I need something more Home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer, you're You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer You're home, hold on If love is the answer, you're Touch, sweet touch You've given me too much to feel Sweet touch You've almost convinced me I'm real I need something more I need something more"   love of a 5d radical detachment spiderweb synchronistic beyond the physical vibe ting.   then we go to the actual song for the layer, pauls intonation and the cloudy vibes emphasize...   TO---UU-CCHHH.   TOUCH!   A YEEEEEEEE   re MEM bah TOUCH!   the key is in how he says it...you could simply speak, touch. i. re.mem.ber. touch. but he choses how to speak it in a way that carries a deeper message.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Gkhol2Q1og&pp=ygUPdG91Y2ggZGFmdCBwdW5r     4 years ago this fellow probably scriber made this video. amalgamizing from the person's text video from another daft punk  that i actually either didn't see or didn't remember that synched perfectly to it.   i want to emphasize in my 20s i took the blowing up to mean literal but now at 37 forward i see it as radical detachment..the key isn't ejecting it's removing what seems so familiar and deeply you to ascend to another playing level of life. it feels like it's exploding but it actually is simply elevating.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP1w5M0F57U   i'll always be salty that daft punk stopped sharing the message and the lessons...but we all know when it's time to let it go and be the merlin like in the 1998 movie that only tells stories. i'm just salty they are simply telling stories and not in it anymore. but whatever i'll get over it. they'll always be grandfathers, masters, ascendedness in more ways than one. and well at least they are still around there's that.   side note on the message if you are on my frequency and you've seen this movie/tv special you are probablllllllllly like me that queen mab was the end beginning and everything and her son mordred is the best boy hottie husband/boyfriend/romantic attraction if men are your deal. if he an arthur we don't want em. funny thing is, with all this esoteric work i've done i've cracked a code that some men that carry the archangel michael energy in their souls tend to have either slightly or obsessively horrible connections with their moms and how it is their personal life lesson to balance their nurturing protective nature in the reflection on earth with their parental upbringing. and wellll mordred babe DEF reflaspects that.   at least for me the key is to be queen mab, bellatrix, galaxia from sailor moon etc. but NOT kill people this time...wield the same thing but be cutting and cunning..but don't go full in. the balance is the lesson this time around.

"So into you" or why ob- ject -ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is The subject today will be centered around ob- ject -ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's "Let me take you home tonight," where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. "You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong," and goes on to say "I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight." So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was "So Into You" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was "could not catch your eyes" and "stand here helplessly hoping you get into me." Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. "I don't know how to talk to women" and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said "faint heart ne'er won fair lady." Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He "can't think of nothing else." He says "Love the things you do" when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's "driving him crazy," "thinking about how it's going to be" and he's "Gonna love her all over, over and over." So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's "helpless" and "driven crazy" and "captured" but is just standing around "hoping." Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with "voodoo in the vibe." It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - "driving him crazy," and turning his insecurity into "helpless." And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because "The Male Gaze" is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. And that is the message. In song after song. "I saw you, I had a feeling, I have a want, I am thinking about you, I am having lots of thoughts about you, I'm having a fantacy about you, I'm deciding that the fantacy is a true representation of who you are, so now I'm building hopes, and I'm building expectations, and now I'm going to approach you , and you should share all my fantacies and fullfil the hopes and expecations rather than view me as some total stranger who's making weird sexual demands." (We won't even START discussing murder ballads. That came up recently too...) That is the message young guys get when they are first thinking about asking girls on a date. That this is how it happens. That this is normal. So when they do it, they are shocked and confused by the girl's reaction. Then again, young girls get this too, so plenty of times when a guy is inappropriate, before they've learned to be afraid of guys and their reaction to rejection, they belive they are supposed to be flattered that a guy is paying attention to them. Even if she doesn't like him, having a guy want you is important, a measure of your value as a woman. So rather than seeing a red flag for later, more aggressive poor behavior, they see it through the lens of "romance." They feel pretty and special and don't recognize healthy behavior when they see it elsewhere because this is how it happens, and what is normal. It's right up there with "he must like you if he punched you" in grade school turning into "he didnt mean it, you know he loves you" later when he beats her bloody later in life. Hell, I literally had this just yesterday. "Hello beautiful, I’ve always wanted to meet you , I love that hair , your so beautiful, I’m in (my town) until Jan 30th Love spoil you and finally get to actually meet you , I only been dreaming for years to do some sissy sessions with you " Never read a single line of my profile in all those "years." So he literally only knows that I have a nice picture. I point that out. (It's a thing for me...you may have noticed.) He responds "I know I need proper training but I know you can teach me !" Because of course, that would be my goal - to spend time and a lot of energy giving someone what they want when they couldn't spend 5 minutes reading my profile. I point out that he STILL hasn't read it, or addressed my reply, and that it was kind of insulting.  He pushed on, though - "We can go get coffee or meet at a munch or anything your up for , I’m only here to next Sunday , but after we meet and greet , I know you would always enjoy my company"  Because obviously, women enjoy men who they feel have insulted them. Especially when it's the BDSM equivalent of a one night stand.  Yes, I blocked him. He obviously wasn't going to catch a clue, even when smacked with a clue-by-four, so there was no point letting him keep messaging me until he got nasty.  He told me I was beautiful, so it automatically followed in his mind that I would immediately want to be alone, up close and personal, providing him his desired gratification, in a session with him, a total stranger, on the first meeting. And that his idea of "spoil" would be the same as mine. Or "proper training." He belived knew me, what I'd want, what I enjoy from my company, etc, without having to read a word I wrote, because he'd looked at my picture and had a feeling and built a fantasy and then expecations. And that who I was beyond my face (and hair) didn't matter.  Because I was not a person to him.  I was an object he desired... a fetish vending machine into which he felt he had put the appropriate coinage - a compliment on my looks. And he wasn't going to be desueded from that with reality or actual human interaction.  This is the world women live in. This is what "The Male Gaze" actually means. If we are attractive, we have value, but not humanity. If we are not attractive, we have no value, and are dehumanized.  You'd think men who want to be Dominated would behave at least slightly different, show at least surface respect to a Dominant Woman, but on average, they don't. And yet, right now, in several groups, there are guys going on about how hard it is to find a Mistress, by guys with the same empty profiles and dick pic avatars and tons of 'do me' groups. The same complaints, the same confusion, the same helplessness and yet the same refusal to make the efforts that would make it possible for a Dominant Woman to want to interact with them.  They are standing helplessly... hoping... being driven crazy... not understanding why we aren't "getting into" them.

Are Christianity and BDSM Incompatible?Well I think the short answer would have to be I think not, or I wouldnt, as a Born Again Christian, be here. But it's a question I get asked a lot on here and other sites, from other Christians who aren't sure, from the curious, and the argumentative, so I thought I would address it permanently. I think the Bible is pretty clear that wives are to defer to their husbands - 'Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall have authority over you',  'wives, submit to your husbands' It is also clear that married couples may do as they wish, as long as its just between the two 'the marriage bed is undefiled', So the question really should be, can unmarried Christians be into BDSM? Well I think it would be difficult to go from an unmarried independent woman to a married sub, so I dont see a difficulty with a woman being submissive to the man she is considering marriage with. Personally I dont have sex with every man I am involved with, as I think sex is special, but I am naturally submissive, so I have certainly submitted to more men than Ive had sex with. It works for me. But ultimately if you really are unsure, and a Christian, you should listen to what you think God is saying to you If youre not at peace with your decision, then it may be the wrong decision for you

Phallic Masturbation (Solo) Much of Phallic worship in the West begins with mansturbation  and the misunderstanding  of it at best. Males are made to view their phallus as a source of pride and also shame. Males are made to hide under the pretense of modesty that which nature adorned him with to be the glory of the world. Excitement by itself has been viewed with contempt, disgust, and rejection albeit in public. Nature is full of the glory of phallus and it is the male prerogative to show it in all species except Homo Sapiens. Western societies cannot find a clear cut  (no puede n intended) view of the phallus since it admires it and fears it at the same time. However, those of us who had the fortune of being initiated at an early age in the mysteries of maleness and how to achieve and give pleasure know better. The phallus gives pleasure indistinct of gender, but there is always a dominant preference. The giving and receiving of pleasure through and by the phallus is the aim of these thoughts. When the phallus and the worshiper are giving ritual pleasure is a different scenario to when one is alone. With another male in this case the center is the phallus, its glory, its power to penetrate, expand, and pulsate with life inside the one receiving it. However what happens when we are alone? Are we lost since there is no one to direct our power and mystic union? Not at all. Ritual mansturbation is a beautiful event in and on itself.  The aim is not to ejaculate but to allow the phallus to grow and expand in your hands as you caress and anoints it with appropriate oils and substances that show you devotion. I prefer honey, sweet almond oil, and myrrh. Begin with the testicles, and feel their presence and see them as the repository of power and maleness. Feel each one as you use the oils to enhance the experience. Warming the oils make a more profound effect by allowing the aroma of the oils and your own male scent to rise to your nose. Intoxicate yourself with the aroma and know that it is the same aroma inhaled by those who worship your phallus. Own it, you are as distinct as any other male. As you enjoy your testes move to the shaft and do the same, let the oil, precum, your sweat and your scent intoxicate you. This is not the time for stroking is the time for touching and feeling as my dad taught me. Feel the veins, the skin (if you are uncut, do not retract yet) the shape and feel the unity of the testes and the phallus. Caress as you anoint, smell as you reach the tip and taste your hands; that is your scent signature. That signature is the one anyone who had you keeps in his brain and soul own and know that. Stop, rest, allow you phallus to relax and now begin to stroke with you least dominant hand (right if you are left,left if you are right.) Stroke the shaft, not the head or under it. Let you phallus grow to its full potential and now slowly if you choose you can ejaculate and get the full signature aroma of your phallus. You have reach your solo blis. How can this be wrong?

Hello to the Newbies, Lifers, Kinksters, and PowerPlay People, This was my favorite place to blog.  When it was bought and they made it hard to post in your profile and changes required a wait to be approved, which went on for part of a year, I left. My life has been moving and doing since I was last on here often posting my thoughts.  I still have saved the oiriginal posts I put in my profile.   Some of it was some interesting shit I don't want to rewrite for a podcast or a book. We are all here to be open, open on the inside and with many hiding their outside with masks and fetish wear..lmao  but open still.  Wide open aren't you, you cumsluts. To the Men who are just kinksters and here for sex primarily, most of you don't interest me in the least.   I am born a naturally Dominant/Alpha and even in my vanilla life I am the one in charge.  Period.  If you are not able to submit without worrying about sex and orgasms, if you need to act up to be punished, you are not of interest to me.   My interests include spending a LOT of my time painting, writing and getting an art business up and running so I am independant and no longer on SSI after breast cancer.   One of the things I dealt with in my time away from here. I am a computer geek, with two pitbulls, art supplies for several businesses, and I am home with a great garden and mobile home spot I will sell in a few years.  Someone who wants to create art or go tech and work on websites, social media for stores, etc. or a good dog person, house cleaner who has a great vocabulary fits my lifestyle.  Lots of free time to learn and improve your own life is a good fit as well. My life has included fantastic sex, better than yours in most cases.  I prefer to wait to have a superior time than fuck someone not worth a dime.   I am getting shit fixed in my life before I care about a sex partner.    My sex type is not the same as my companion type, unless you are a computer geek with a great smile, abs, ass and eyes....lmao    Let life roll and have fun, Lola the Iron Mistress

i tried to make a post about lilith earlier like i did on reddit but this site ho'd me and didn't post it after posting it was already posted. oh well. trust me if you go on reddit or otherwise it's there.   I think I've mentioned it before on here that I am above average with astrology, but I'm not an astrologer. I've never been trained on how to actually read the charts, how to make the charts. I've never taken any classes on it. What I've learned is simply through grit and connecting with other novices and pulling together information. and just amalgamating slash being alchemical And bare bonesing it, you know, like raw dogging it. But as I've shared on my previous points. my intuition is like Doja cats lyrics. Trust me, I got magical foresight. so I might not have all the understanding in three D of the words, the vernacular, the structure, the format, the step by step to do things. especially with people that are more versed in these esoteric and magic school and mystery school or any of these long standing principles and all the stuff in the mystic spiritual magic world, right?   It's like the vibe of not being a pedigree, but being a scrappy, rough misfit. LOL.   So I know more than the average person about astrology, but in the world of astrologers, I know nothing.       I've been riding extremely about this balance and holding the line when it comes to how the. Michael male divine energy engages with the feminine. Sophia Divine feminine original source energy. And because in this life I'm alternative, I'm kinky. I'm. BDSM y. I'm polyamory. in a world where I was meant to be in the sauce and I was meant to be. physically engaging with people in a romantic sexual. real life kind of realm. categorizing myself in my past experiences. But before I came to realize I'm supposed to be more of a teacher and I'm not supposed to really hold that. because when you start holding that, you lose the higher perspective. You lose like the higher realm of it. right? but before I figured that out and I was trying to get lost in the sauce, I've always. expressed relating to the opposite sex in a very Non mainstream way. So it's like, as I continue to write the way that my divine feminine resonates on Earth is with the other alternative girls. I'm connected to the divine feminine with the dark goddess energy, with the bad babe energy. with the girlies who are with the mafia vibe, who are with the gangsters who are with the dominance, who are with the. people running the emotional, physical, mental, sexual. edge.   Just like cyberpunk. 2077. I'm with the edge runners. Not all women are like that. Most women aren't like that. Not all men are like that. A lot of men aren't like that. And in the spiritual world, I have found most of them are very love and light and asexual to begin with. So it's like the way. I'm channeling this message is for a very unique small subset of people. But even in the confusion and stuff, I know what I'm seeing. I know what I'm I'm supposed to write about. I know I'm supposed to say I know the message that I'm spreading even. if I don't necessarily know who I'm supposed to spread it to. I know I got the goods. Deep down. and even if these goods never turn into anything but these notes like I know that there's something magic going on. Hashtag being a projector, hashtag being a instinctual spleen at projector hashtag having the juxtaposition cross of assimilation bringing in crazy ass concepts that are forward thinking. so ka. so desu ne. Unrelated side note. Because I am an anime snob I do not like the digital animation and the styling. Of the I watched this show because I am deeply into the fandom. I literally not being facetious, but probably two years straight watching over 15 people play the game as much as. much as they completed it and I have never seen anyone complete the game. I saw one person on You Tube from Australia that was a lady get very close to completing the game but then felt pressured to do phantom liberty without finding all the side missions and side things and stopped to go to Phantom Liberty to appease her. fandom. but yes, I went very deep into this whole lore of cyberpunk. and so I felt I needed to watch this show in order to honor the essence of it and the message that this amazing franchise had and I Like I do most modern anime was slightly disappointed. Didn't feel much from it. Got a little bit from it, but a lot of people love how that style of medium of art is nowadays. And I'm on purpose, not on the same. not on the same vibe. I went to a club that was anime based. And I came across a younger guy. that was still an adult, obviously. But he said, I'm stuck in the past and I said yes on purpose. and he was like the 90s and I was like actually to be specific. I'm stuck in the 1970s to 2005 talking about bigger concepts like Leji matsumoso Galaxy Express 999. space operas. Tenchi muyo slayers. ah megumi sama sailor moon, serial experiments lain, neon genisis evangelion, even lighter stuff like mermaid melody pichi pichi, metropolsis the ova. When I look at something, I'm looking to learn to expand my soul, grow, get the channeled message. I'm not here for shits and giggles and fun. 99% of the time when I'm consuming, it's like I'm doing this as an unpaid job, like as a message. So this stuff nowadays that I've been introduced to does not have a message. So I do not relate to it. I'm a bad girly with a mission. And I'm very serious about it. And because I'm human, I might go astray. I might slip. I might fall, but I'm always straight back to the motherfucking mission in the day.   I'm always going to be talking about relationships and sexuality and spirituality and all that, because I've literally my entire adult life, have been wired that way. And I was. probably starting to get trained to do that when I was a minor in. probably more appropriate manners. and spirit. But I just been feeling like this message of unity on your sovereign path and not getting lost in the entanglement and the ties....passion....of sexuality and fleetingness of of. obsession and fixation and getting off track because of the pool of what the opposite person might do. And St true to you and like holding into that and seeing how so many women, especially because when you're on the edge, you're dealing with More intense chemicals in your body. You're dealing with more power play. You're dealing with it on a higher level than the average person. It's like I I've just been like talking about getting in the sauce and how it it leads to at least on the woman's side cause I'm a woman, then being down bad and their lives literally ruined like either physically, mentally, emotionally. Unfortunately, sometimes sexually, like that's the the gamble playing on the edge that when you fall, you fall harder than someone that's just totting the line. But because the dark goddesses are out there seeking truth on deeper depth and dark corners, they're willing to take that risk. I'm assuming, you know, you guys, I guess I'll call you dark gods. I have an awareness, but again, I just don't have a penis. I don't have that energetic masculine quality. I'm more of a panther. You guys are more like lions. Like III see it, but I just really can't tap into it. I can only observe. So I'm guessing same thing for y'all, but I can't say it from the core of my soul because that's just not what I was meant to do this time around. And a parmy hates to say stuff that isn't 100 percent confirmed. LOL. To the best of my confirmation at least, or to the best of my sourcing.   All this to say, my astrology hasn't gone to the level of looking at the transits or the. conjunctions. I know what they are. I can read when I see it on a chart, but it's not something I know how to make my own. It's

Honesty Would I trust the word of an addict? No, of course not. I would trust an addict will be true to its addiction and use reason, including deception, to maintain its drug supply. But, one might say, we are not addicts here. We are into Domination and submission. We have fetishes. Not drug use. Well, here is the thing about addiction. My body does not care where the drug it wants comes from. Like if I were into sticking needles in my body to deliver any one of many legal or illegal drugs my body would not care about legal niceties. Any old drug source would work. A drug that works inside the body is almost always one the body creates naturally. The needle merely delivers higher concentration or more frequently than my body can provide. In other words, there are basically only two delivery systems. One from outside the body and one from inside. Well, how about stimulating the body to create its own drug with out the use of a needle. We do that all the time. Not infrequently referred to as satisfying emotional needs. Serotonin, adrenalin and oxytocin to name a few. Can one be addicted to the internally created drugs? Well, that would explain things like infatuation and love. In fact addiction is used by nature to help insure the survival of the species. Adults must attach, or become addicted, to offspring in order to insure the progeny survive and become, hopefully, useful members of society.  How about long distance runners? What kind of high do you suppose they are chasing? What happens when one is ‘addicted’ to sub space? All the hallmarks of addiction are present. Increasing stimulation, or altering tolerance, of the feeling of submission both in intensity and frequency is needed to achieve ever deeper and more desirable sub space. Withdrawal occurs when the stimulation is not available. What stimulates? How about humiliation? But, most prevalent, masturbation and fantasy are the ‘needle’ that causes the body to deliver the desired result. Now a rational person would know without any reminder from me that fantasy is not truth or reality. But, the subspace addict tends, in an increasing fashion, to live in the fantasy. Fantasy, because of the social sanctions and false ‘sex images’ delivered by ones environment (more about social influence below). An outside observer might well say the afflicted person is lying to itself. Maybe. The subspace addict must live to some degree, greater for some; less for others, in a real world. You know, wife, kids, boss, minister, parents, siblings and most painfully of all a world steeped in bias, prejudice, beliefs and simplistic thinking. How does one do that? Why the subspace addict becomes adept at presenting a, hopefully, believable facade. But, the inner self is crying out for its drug. So, the addict lives in internal conflict. That of between what it is and what it thinks it should be. That of trying to resolve reasonable needs of real world with the emotion of inner needs. Good luck. Actually, emotion always wins if the contest prize is about serenity. There is no serenity as long as the emotional needs are not met. Good luck. But, this much too long essay is titled ‘honesty.’ Why is all the above relative to honesty? Well, as a Dominant I search for a submissive, actually I search as an Owner for slave property. Anyway, the prospective property lie to me. They are so conflicted that they get tangled up in their minds about all the overwhelming reality their fantasy does not consider. They say one thing, but, are unable to deliver when reality bites.  I require a slave property show up in person for an initial ‘inspection’ before I get mired in explanations examples and details of life as My property. As a practical matter, if I engaged each and every ‘slave’ that contacted me in their fantasy or in their fear or in their inner conflict, I would have no time left in the day to live a life. The slave must conquer its fears of real life consequences and physically commit to an action: that is show up. Many say they will, but, fail to show up. Did they lie to me? Not in my book. They were honest to their ‘addict.’ They just lost their ongoing battle with their accommodation to the ‘real’ world. They will probably go forward in their life, steeped in conflict, with thoughts of what if and what could have been and self recriminations. In other words no serenity. Do I think less of them for not showing up? No. They are flapping around like a recently landed fish dying on the dock. I pity them. I wish I could do more to help them deal with their inner conflict.  I do try.

reposting this as I have had several prospaspects ask if I am still looking to collar a slave. The answer is yes but onky one that can function well in a poly leather household. Please read the repost below for more info   Instead of updating the profile and having it be down for months, I am using the journal to note changes.      I have collared a slave and it is serving in My home 24/7/365   I continue to train and develop other slaves that need experience serving, learning protocols, developing pain tolerence or just want to provide pleasure to a Master   I am also looking for a second slave for a poly household. Mine is a Leather Family and I have many friends in the world Leather community. I have a process for evaluating a slave for ownership, if there is interest I can explain further.   The new Dungeon Barn has finally been built. This 3 level dungeon is an all season timber frame barn built on a stone foundation. The interior is being finished and then equipment installed. Completion scheduled for winter 2021.   Summer months We/we reside at our camp. Cothing optional, men only, with a complete dungeon there as well

This is a topic which I have had more than a few conversations with other Masters and slaves. So I have decided to post what I believe here and what my house believes. I know this is going to rub some of the Masters/Doms or Masters/doms the wrong way. But we here at the House Of G believe in telling the truth, regardless of the cost to ourselves. Having said this let me launch right into the topic of my posting. "Collar of consideration or under consideration collars" 1.     The first thing that comes to mind is that the Master who has placed a slave under consideration is having trouble deciding whether he wants this slave to be wearing his collar and is unable to decided if the slave should be a member of their house. 2.     The next possibility is that the Master wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants the pleasure of controlling and using the slave, without making a commitment to the slave, thereby avoiding the responsibility of ownership. Both are fundamentally wrong. Either the slave is worthy or has the potential to be worthy of wearing the Masters collar or is not. If more time and communication is required, then the Master should do that. The undertaking of owning a slave requires that you know everything about that slave before placing your collar around their neck. If there is even the slightest of doubt or concern, then discuss your concerns with the slave. Collaring a slave is not something taken lightly. It is actually making a commitment that we and many others will agree is more serious than the wedding vows and in some cases more binding and lasting.   “The trust between Masters and Slaves is based on the same behavioral Rules that regulate social life within a herd: Those who have obtained a higher rank in the herd assume at the               same time the responsibility for the weaker members.” A Master should reveal to the slave what is expected of them if they wear the Masters collar and what their boundaries and duties will be. All of this should be discussed in great detail almost to ad nauseam. For many in this lifestyle it’s far easier to shed ones clothing and belongings than it is to open up and be revealing about your real desires. We call this being emotionally naked and it seems to be one of the hardest things that one of my slaves can learn. “I have accepted a collar.” 1. This is not dating in any vanilla sense. You may find a slave and initiate a conversation with them with the sole intention of putting the slave in your collar. Nothing is wrong with this. However, why would you, give the slave the initial upper hand in the relationship (before it even starts) with having the slave make the decision to either accept or reject your collar? By offering your collar to the slave and not waiting until the slave asks for it, has not the “Topping from the Bottom” already begun?   2. It is the Master who will structure, dictate, and control the parameters of the relationship not the slave. Hence it is the Master, not the slave, who will really do the bulk of the work in making the relationship successful or not. 3. The slave has a simple, yet complex duty ... please the desires and will of the Master. The slave does what it is told, how it is told, when it is told, without hesitation, remorse or embarrassment.  4. In reality, it is the slave who should offer themselves to the Master for enslavement and collaring. NOT the other way around. You're not seeking the slave to "take home to your mother." You're not seeking them to place an engagement ring on their finger. While that may happen at some point, it is not the primary goal. The goal is to help the slave become the best slave it can be and to guide them to that end.  5. You want that slave, kneeling, naked at your feet, ready and willing to serve you with every fiber of their being to satisfy and please your desires.  I have never offered a collar to a slave. I was blessed to have a lifestyle couple with many years of experience act as my mentors when I first entered this lifestyle, and along the way I have had the opportunity to work with and meet some great Masters, who have all pitched in and helped with my education and mindset. But the main thing I have learned is the differences between the structure of a vanilla relationship and the structure of the Master/slave relationship. The commitment of a slave is on a whole different level than that of a vanilla relationship. And because the slave made it of their own free will and with the knowledge that they were surrendering all of themselves to the Master.  This bond between Master and slave is unlike any other currently known. Think about it, the Master offers a collar to the slave. The slave accepts it. Then later if the relationship or some aspect doesn't go as the slave desires, you've already given them a way out. But if they have to offer themselves to the Master, what they are saying is that they are ready to give the Master their all and that means 100% of themselves.  So let me end this by saying that the slave’s submission is not a gift. There submission is who they are and what they are. And if it is a “gift”, then the slave has certain expectations already that again reverts back to vanilla dating, that their charms (subtly translated sexuality) is something to be held in high esteem and treated as such. Yes, you can love and care for them. But their sexuality is yours and for your pleasure first. If at any point they feel that their "gift" is not that treasured by the Master, you again have given them an easy exit or even much worse a means of "topping from the bottom."   

The Blue you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try your call again. (**If the above message doesn't make sense to you, or ring a Ma Bell, then you're probably too young for me. LOL.) 3/14/22 I'm going to be catching up on life stuffs for a bit. This happens now and then when I'm overwhelmed with answering folx on here, and rather than feel like a jerkwaffle for logging in and not responding, I just don't log in at all. *sigh*  You're welcome to leave a message, and I will get back when I can muster the mental resources to do so. If you're local, say hi at Game Night or the Kinky Carnival.  Wanna really get my attention when I'm back on? Show me your best Semantle score. *cackle*

Yeah, I thought I would get back here sooner.. shit happens. Started getting all my medical stuff going this year.  Ugghhh. I am not looking for oral anything. My concerns this year involve going after the plastic surgeon who f'd up my reconstruction so severely it impacts the rest of my life and sue the f'er. I have to have what he did fixed. Firmly believe he shit on me because I am a medicaid patient. So, my focus is more personal health, at the same time, I have both art and print on demand stuff I am doing, my gardening is just picking up and getting busy at home, and I have an audio podcast I need to get going. On ssi at 560 a month sucks dirty dick. If you want to be submissive to me, you have to have something to offer in return, not necessarily money, but say vanilla services that help me. Otherwise, I am busy as fuck making the next 20 years of my life better.   As I usually find my relationships in person doing stuff, make it good to get my attention, or I won't waste my time. Approaching me about your needs is stupid. Lola the Iron Mistress

  Extremely few Mistresses/Masters have actually the capability; the discipline, the economic and mental ability to keep a slave. The problem is that many Dominants takes Ownership easy, proclaiming themselves Mistress-Masters and disregard the gravity of these facts due to lack of experience and commitment.   Most who think they want slavery are really looking for D/s     As you can now better understand: Dominance and Submission, or D/s, is not equal to "slavery".       To be submissive is more close to what 99% of those who claim they want to be a "slave", really wants. A submissive has a degree (no matter how tiny) of influence over the relationship. A submissive retains (no matter how few or how ineffectual) rights and liberties; while a Dominant might be able to assuage some of the power a submissive retains, the submissive does, in fact, retain the real power.   A real slave has no such power whatsoever. In fact, a slave has nothing at all, only what their owner grants them and that can be taken away without warning. A slave has only such “rights”, “liberties” and “influence” that their owner may, or may not, allow them.     An owner can give the world to their slave, but, in a heartbeat, an owner can take everything back from a slave leaving them, truly, with nothing at all.   A slave has no claim to any power whatsoever. A slave has no entitlement to influence anything.   A slave no longer has any claims to natural civil rights or liberties. Whatever a slave might have has been given to them by their owner, and even then it is an illusion as, in reality, the owner owns the slave – therefore the owner owns everything the slave appears to own.   A slave does not have possessions – a slave is a possession. Some people say that, in a D/s relationship, the submissive holds the real power; that a dominant "needs" a submissive, needs their “gift” of submission. That is not the case with a slave.       A submissive deserves respect; respect as a lover, respect as a person, respect as a partner. A submissive maintains the prerogative to choose the level to which they submit; and these levels may vary throughout the relationship. In a D/s relationship, the submissive really controls every aspect of the relationship in a passive manner.   In slavery there exists no “topping from the bottom”. In slavery owner controls absolutely everything with unchangeable power and real authority. (If you had the discipline and invested the time to get that far with your reading, kindly prove Me this by writing "total devotion" with capitals in your message to Me).     Generally estimating, most Dominants could not handle the force and power of the authority of an owner, and most "submissive" would vehemently defy the idea of absolute,total and real ownership. Which is perfectly fine, and expected.   So: now that I have exhaustively attempted to depict the definition of real slavery, and if you still think you are, or want to become a ‘real’ slave, or if you believe you are ready to, and capable of, being a slave or owning your own slave(s), you may pursue with your plans.   This is the basic philosophy of BDSM slavery.   If you don’t share it that is, of course, your prerogative.   And if you, finally, are one of the very few genuine slaves, remember:   THINK CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU COMMIT BECAUSE IT WILL BE YOUR LAST ACT OF FREE WILL. BE WISE, CHOOSE RIGHT.          

Communication Matters! Open,  honest,  forthright Communication is essential.  "He voluntarily and openly commits himself to serve the needs of the dominant partner.. . and by accepting, she fulfills his need to serve. Where things go from there will vary from relationship to relationship depending on the mutual desires and unique personalities of the partners."

The Final Touches   She had been sent here for the final touches, she was now old enough to be taught what would be expected of her. Dressed in official school attire she looked resplendent in her pleated skirt, white blouse, short white socks and lace up shoes. Her hair was up in a pony, as she had been told was the custom. Outside the principal's office the hallway was deserted, everyone else had gone for the day. The school secretary sat behind her desk filling out some tedious form or other, she didn't look away from her work, leaving Tara to look her up and down. Late 40s she guessed, maybe early 50s, blonde shoulder length hair, formally dressed, lipstick seemed a little red and garish for the setting but it certainly caught the eye. Time passed slowly. She wasn't sure how long she had been there and the clock on the wall seemed to tick at a glacial pace. "In my office Ms Tara", she heard a deep voice say from behind the door. As she tried to get her bearings the secretary looked at her, "Well? Don't keep him waiting girl." She grabbed her purse and hurriedly walked to the door, then stopped. Deep breath, focus, she took a brief second to adjust herself, and opened the door. "Hello Mr ..." she started to say "You address me as Sir, just Sir" came a response that cut her off abruptly "Hello Sir" she replied "Come in". He gestured to the front of his desk.  She moved to sit down but realised there was no chair, it had been pushed back against the far wall. "You can stand" he said, without any sense or irony knowing it was her only option. "Feet apart 30cm, hands behind your back, stand straight girl" He picked up the cane that she hadn't noticed laying across the desk, and walked slowly behind her. Gently he tapped the inside of each calf. "30cm girl. You have been sent here for finishing touches, not the basics" She shuffled a bit in place until her cunt was just open enough to tell her that her feet were 30cm apart. "Much better Ms Tara. Work on your basics or we will have to send you to one of the junior classes with the new girls" She could feel herself clenching as she had been taught to do, his cane slowly slid up the inside of her thigh until it was touching her bare cunt. She could feel him gently pulling on it, and as it slid through her lips she clenched tightly. For a second she held the cane firm, she knew he would be pleased with how tight she had gripped it. But he would be even more pleased at how easily it slipped out of her grip when she flooded a moment later. He walked slowly in front of her. "Good girl" he said, "Not a complete beginner then" He slowly pulled the cane across her blouse, across her nipples, cleaning her juices off his cane, and highlighting both hard nipples clearly through the damp circles on the thin top. "There girl, when you are aroused it is good to show it" And by whatever God was willing to listen right now, she was aroused "Thank you Sir", she proudly said

Everything He Has, Until There Is Only Me There is a particular music to it that I do not think you can understand until you have heard it in a room that belongs to you, with someone who has given you permission to play. The crack of a whip is not violence. It is punctuation. It is the sound of a sentence ending exactly where you intended it to end, clean and final and ringing in the air long after the moment has passed. It lands and the room holds its breath and in that held breath is everything: the authority that swung it, the surrender that received it, the particular electricity that lives in the space between the two. I feel it in my wrist first, then in my chest, then in the slow, satisfied warmth that moves through me when something has gone exactly as I intended. The skin that receives it blooms and I watch that blooming the way an artist watches a canvas accept color. With attention. With pleasure. With the specific pride of someone who knows their medium. The paddle is a different thing entirely. Where the whip sings, the paddle speaks in a lower register, a hard and resonant thud that you feel in your bones before your skin has finished deciding what happened. There is no elegance to it and that is precisely the point. It is blunt and declarative and it leaves no room for ambiguity. You know what it means when it lands. You knew what it meant before it landed. The sound of it fills a room completely, the way a bell fills a room, and the echo of it lives in the body for hours afterward, a reminder that resurfaces every time you shift your weight, every time you sit, every time your body moves against itself and finds me there, already waiting. The cane is my favorite. I will not pretend otherwise. There is a patience to the cane that suits me. The way you must take your time with it, must place it with intention, must understand that it is not a blunt instrument but a precise one. The marks it leaves are not accidents. They are calligraphy. Long and deliberate and raised against the skin like script, like something written, like the physical evidence of a conversation that only two people in the world were present for. I trace them afterward sometimes, these lines I have drawn on a body that belongs to me, and feel the same quiet satisfaction that I imagine a sculptor feels running a hand over finished stone. I made this. This is mine. You will carry this for days. And my own skin, where the energy moves through me like current, where the act of wielding produces its own particular heat, a tingling that lives in the palms and travels, that settles somewhere behind the sternum and glows. I glow. There is no more honest word for it. Something in me lights from the inside when I am in full possession of my own authority and someone is receiving it with everything they have. Neruda wrote that he wanted to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees, and I have always understood this not as tenderness alone but as inevitability, as the specific hunger of something that transforms whatever it touches simply by being what it is. That is what I want from you. Not your performance of devotion. Your actual transformation. I want to be the thing that happens to you, the season that changes the look of everything, so that you cannot see your own hands without thinking of what they are for, cannot move through a room without feeling the architecture of my expectations around you like a second skin. I want to wring you dry. Not cruelly. Completely. I want every thought that crosses your mind to carry my fingerprints on it, want you so thoroughly oriented toward me that pleasing me stops being a task and becomes simply the direction your nature moves, the way water moves downhill without deciding to. I want your first thought in the morning to be what She needs today and your last thought at night to be whether you gave it well enough. I want the obsession to be so total that it clarifies rather than confuses you, the way a religion clarifies the faithful, the way a vocation clarifies an artist who has finally stopped pretending they could have been anything else. Bring me what delights me. You know what it is because you have paid attention, because attention to me is the one thing I require above all others and you have either given it or you have not. By now we both know which. The particular tea, the correct temperature, in the cup that fits my hand the way I like. The flowers I mentioned once three months ago that I did not think anyone was listening to. The way a room should be before I enter it, the light and the temperature and the specific quiet that tells me someone has thought about me before I arrived. The knowledge, brought to me unprompted, of something I would want to know. The book left on my nightstand, the right one, chosen not from a list I gave you but from everything you have learned about the country inside my mind. Shower me in it until I glow. Charlotte Bronte understood this, I think, better than she is given credit for. Rochester did not love Jane Eyre the way men in novels usually love women, as a soft and worshipful thing, a pedestaling. He loved her with his whole difficult complicated weight, loved her as his equal and his better and his necessity, and she received it not with flutter but with the straight-backed dignity of a woman who has always known her own worth and was simply waiting for someone else to catch up. That is the love I recognize. Not the love that flatters but the love that sees, that is almost furious in its recognition, that cannot look away because looking away would require pretending the world is smaller than it is. Neruda again: I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees. Yes. And also: I hunger for your sleek laugh and your hands the color of a furious harvest. The wanting in Neruda is never polite. It is consuming and precise and it names its object with the specificity of someone who has studied what they love until they know it better than it knows itself. That is the quality of devotion I am describing. Not the vague warmth of general affection. The focused, detailed, almost scholarly hunger of someone who has made another person their life's primary text. Learn me that well. Want me that specifically. Bring it to me not in grand declarations but in the ten thousand small and correct details that prove you have been paying attention every single day, that prove my preferences live in you the way music lives in a musician, available instantly, expressed naturally, impossible to separate from who you have become. And when I glow, and I will glow, when something in me settles into that incandescent satisfaction of being known and tended and

Imagine you are bungee jumping, standing high above a gaping chasm that looks as beautiful and beguiling as it does intimidating and overwhelming. At some point, you have to make the choice to either step down off the platform and back to the known and familiar world of solid ground and safety, or to step off the platform and begin to fall, until the cord goes taught and holds you above the abyss. And that's bungee jumping. Serving as a slave is similar to this, except that when you step off the platform, you have no idea if the cord is attached. You have chosen to plummet into an abyss without knowing if he will keep you safe from whatever fate awaits you at the bottom. Without, in fact, knowing if he is capable of keeping you safe. And that's serving. You do not know what awaits. You only know that, sometimes, it doesn't matter if the cord is attached or not, or even if there is a cord in the first place. Sometimes, you just have to jump and find out.

     

What I like about being a Bull Sometimes I am asked what I like about being a Bull with a cuckold couple. That is not an easy question to answer, but I’ll try. I’m a dominant person, and always have been. I like being the one in charge. So I naturally tend to find myself at the top of the food chain in every situation. When I’m with a couple there are several elements that appeal to me, which make the relationship more appealing than the traditional boyfriend & girlfriend. First, a married woman is in it for the sex. Her motivations are not unlike ours (men). She is not looking for a relationship (she has one). She is not looking for drama (she wants none). She will not hound you or stalk you or pester you like many single women. With a married woman it’s all about the sex. When you meet with her (or them) there will be little small talk, socializing or wasting time. Sex is on her mind, and it’s everyone's goal. Once her and your sexual cravings are satisfied she will go back home, with or to her husband. It’s perfect for someone like me who enjoys frequent, explosive sex with someone who is only too willing to provide it. So, my first answer is sex, sex and more sex. But there are other sides to it, too. Believe it or not I like helping other couples spice things up. I know Bulls are often painted as selfish, cock-wielding studs that are interested only in themselves, but that’s not usually the case. I, and others like me, enjoy interacting with couples and helping them reignite their flame in the bedroom. Like I mentioned, I am dominant and I enjoy the domination theme. It’s empowering to have a woman offer herself to me, especially when it’s a beautiful married woman who would normally be off-limits to anyone except her husband. Say what you want, but there is something edgy about hitting a pussy that was promised to someone else, especially when the wife is a stone cold fox, and someone you would NEVER suspect of being a submissive slut for another man behind closed doors. Last, I love being dominant over a couple in the husband's presence. There’s something deeply satisfying when I see a husband silently watch me ravage his wife in their marital bed, knowing that he’s getting off on the whole show. Most husbands I know are not submissive. However they do become extremely passive when I assert myself in their presence. Not only does this appeal to me, but I enjoy the wife’s reaction as well. The more passive the husband is the more sexually responsive the wife becomes, and that leads to even better sex. Once you have taken the time to build a good cuckold relationship with the right couple the encounters can become intense, fulfilling and practically addictive. What man would not want that?

A little poetry?  Sure, why not.   In realms where love unfolds its gentle sway, A man finds bliss in night and sunlit day. Within the dance of hearts, a truth revealed, In female-led embrace, his joy's congealed.   Beneath her gaze, a beacon burning bright, He revels in the tender, guiding light. Her strength, a fortress that he gladly seeks, In every whispered word, the solace speaks.   No tyranny, but harmony they find, A partnership where hearts and souls entwined. He cherishes the power she bestows, A union blossoms, like a fragrant rose.   Her laughter, like a melody divine, Resounds within his heart, a sweet design. Together, they traverse life's winding road, In tandem, love's enchanting episode.   She leads with grace, a compass sure and true, He finds his purpose in her eyes of blue. Her wisdom shapes their journey through the years, A symphony of joy, dispelling fears.   He revels in the kindness she bestows, Her love, a river, steadily it flows. He willingly surrenders to her care, In tender moments, love is everywhere.   No shackles bind, but freedoms they unfold, In her embrace, a sanctuary bold. A partnership where balance finds its place, He celebrates the joys of her embrace.   In shared delight, their spirits intertwined, He savors every moment, love defined. A male perspective on this blessed path, In her-led love, he finds eternal warmth.  

Master's Writings Fundamentals: What Turns You on is Good & The Struggle Against Social Norms Far too often I find individuals hung up on their internal permission to lean into what turns them on. They’ve discovered this or that excites them, but due to baggage from social norms, upbringing, or who knows what prior learning or pressures they experienced in their lives, they struggle to allow themself the space or freedom to explore this desire more fully. It tends to lurk in the realm of things taboo, and frequently causes them feelings of shame, guilt, or a need to closet this part of themself off from the world and hide. I was chatting with a submissive the other day, who was struggling with a kink, they clearly found exciting, but felt immense guilt each time they approached it. They were essentially stuck in this tug of war between internal acceptance and desire fulfillment of this new found pleasure. This causing significant anguish emotionally as well as guilt for liking this new thing but knowing it was “wrong” somehow. As a person and as a submissive, they were seriously struggling with this both as a person and as a submissive. I believe there are some fundamentals that I believe are core to this conversation, both for them as well as for others who struggle similarly: Note: I will preface all of the following thoughts with the limitation that I am referring to pleasures, fetishes, kinks and actions that are consensual and safe for all involved.   Life is short, enjoy it however you can. I recognize this is a hedonistic view of things but life can be hard at times, I believe we should find pleasure and enjoy it wherever we can. What feels good, turns you on and brings you joy should be enjoyed. Pleasure is a very personal experience and as is the internal permission to allow yourself to enjoy the sensation. Seek out those pleasurable things and allow yourself to let them bring you happiness. Life is short. What turns you on is good and Social Norms are just other people’s opinion. Regardless of what that is. If it floats your boat, its a good thing. Never let anyone else tell you its not. Most of us were brought up with social stigmas around sex, gender, nakedness, and so on. We were taught by parents, church, media what is what is evil or wrong. Social norms, prejudices, stigmas, and things designated as taboo are passed on by others. We are brought up believing them and because of that, they hold power over us and they are hard to shake off. Yet, I believe, so long as it does not impact another person, you and you alone have the right to determine what is right and good for you. You hold solvency over your mind, will, and body. As soon as you can see feelings of wrongness, taboo, or evil, as opinions conveyed to you by others. As soon as you begin thinking, evaluating and choosing for yourself what is right, good and pleasurable, you will be ready to embrace “what turns you on is good”, and you will be open to far more than you could imagine. The journey of self discovery is an essential one. I believe discovering what you like and why you like it, is one of the beautiful journeys we get to experience as we enter the lifestyle. If we can maintain an open mind, open heart, and free ourself from feelings of guilt, shame, self judgment as we take this journey, we can learn more than we ever thought we could about who we are in life. There is an entire world out there of kinks, fetishes, aspaspects and combinations that may excite you, intrigue you, turn you on, or turn you off. Discovering these is a beautiful journey that goes far deeper than whether or not you like a thing. Understanding the why and the how, exploring what it is about a thing that speaks to you, brings a deeper understanding of who you are in ways you could never imagine. Learning Acceptance for others builds acceptance of self. As we discover our own likes and dislikes, we learn that what turns you on is not always what turns others on. Accepting ourself and our own personal preferences requires us to embrace the idea that YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK). Here in the lifestyle community, we don’t judge, don’t condemn, or shame what others enjoy, just as we would never want to be judged, condemned, or shamed for what we like. The vanilla world is full of instances of non-acceptance and persecution, but not here. Accepting others perspectives and desires as different than your own, helps you find acceptance for yourself, and is a powerful thing. When you can step outside yourself to see the struggle and understand it for why and why it is, you will be able to free yourself to understand yourself deeper and truly explore. To this submissive I spoke to, and others why may read this, I wish you a healthy, positive, and guilt free journey in the lifestyle. I hope you can embrace your pleasures fully and allow yourself to revel in them. As someone wise once told me, when you discover your “Freak Flag”, that truth you’ve found about yourself, Waive it high and proudly.

 Things that excite Me in a slave Addiction Infatiuation Obsession Devotion Worship Providing Me Attention Sacrifice Restriction Whimpering Obesiance Surrender Dedication Persistence Patience UNREQUITED LOVE Come, darlings, step into Goddess' world.  Find your true self in My Control.  Be Amazed by Me.  Revolve yourself around Me.  

Well once again collarspace never disappoints to disappoint.  Seriously don't know why I ever come back. You would think after the first twenty times I would learn.   And to the people that say you are too far away, come on really unless you live in a huge city with tons of people in the community who the hell else are you going to talk to.  The odds that if you live in a small to med community that will connect with anyone are so remote it's ridiculous.  Don't be a dick, if someone says hello have the courtsey to at least say hello back. You never know who is out there that could be your new best friend.  It won't kill you.   This might be counterintuitive on here but we need to be a kinder gentler people.    and if you are dick on here it means probably are dick in person.  Take a dick don't be a dick.   Dont take my civility to mean I'm not a dom.  Real men know how to treat people of all sexes with kindness, and still be a dominate man.   To quote Bill Bixby (youngens' wont get this reference) "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when i'm angry?  

16 years I've been on this site, almost to the day.  Probably longer than that because I'm not sure this was my first profile.  And before that, I was on other similar sites all the way back to the beginning of the internet, and the old bulletin boards.  And before the internet, yes, I am that old, the bdsm magazines and underground classifieds.  I search, sometimes for years because I have very high standards and there are a lot of haystacks and very few needles in the bdsm world, until I find someone, then I go away.  Unfortunately none of those relationships have been forever, though they were each wonderful in their own way, and I guess I am blessed that each ended on good terms.  My last relationship ended 3 years ago.  I am here, on FL, a few other web sites, and on a bunch of the dating apps.  I have a lot to offer, both bdsm and vanilla.  No, I'm not a sugar daddy.  I'm happy to share.  Supporting a lazy deadbeat isn't in the cards.  If you don't have enough pride to contribute to your own lifestyle, you don't have enough pride to be with me.  I'm seeking a woman who is highly intelligent, who possesses and values integrity, is trustworthy and able to trust when her trust has been earned.  And of course, who desires a long term, real life, 24 7 relationship built around a core of bdsm.  Also should be at least a bit of a geek to insure we have vanilla interests in common. Everything else is negotiable.  You have my permission to contact me first if you think we might be compatible. Please be willing to video chat immediately for both of our safety.

So its 2022 and I have been here a long while. Still no one claiming to be Dominant and willing to prove it has come my way in this time, will this be the year it happens, probably not. I think most people have given up on this site delivering them a submissive or slave that can fulfill their needs, as much as they fulfill theirs Of course my needs are simple, I would like a Dominant man or couple, who want a relationship which can migrate from a one night stand, to many nights together, and days. But will it happen, I doubt it I am fed up of having to be the assertive one, I am supposed to be asserted upon, Doms on here too afraid to approach someone because others have been such a let down, well, that concept is also felt by many subs and slaves who arrange to play with Dominants who aren't real. So be assertive, sweep me off my feet, treat me with some respect, remember your goal is to want me to spend my time serving you, so if you come at me like a total moron, I'll treat you like one.

You are a set apart,State of the art,Work of art.That is written into my birth chart,To be your sexpot.To bask in your sunspotAnd become empty like a brain fart.To exist as your pleasurebot;Drive your applecartInto my fertile seedplot.Every single body partIs tailored to be your playspot.I yearn for your cum shotInto my honey pot,And for the squeeze of a slipknotThat will sting like Cupid's dartAnd for the most important partTo be unto you a decadent slave heart. ~dirtydarling

nuance beyond melanie martinez and lana del rey contrasting with caity krane NOTE: this originally was written on reddit as a visual media interpretation. i crafted screenshots and homemade gifs to enhance the written word. this platform doesn't allow that so some of what is mentioned cannot be shown. i already made a post about melanie nostalgia-ing. but i really feel it wasn't just nostalgia i was picking up on an energetic current between the tribe/community because just like when i talked about the powerpuff girls and right after that i was seeing so many of the tribe members that have more public eye and celebrity referencing them and artist that are tribe or sell to the tribe talk about them more and actual artists as in professionally well paid creatives that are tribe vibe talk about it i knew i was onto something there. so melanie ehhh i was nostalgia-ing but i think i was also treelawny- ing that essence of the moment. i don't really talk about lana that often because i feel as a fellow mermaid energy she uses her siren powers for bad entrapping lower level dysfunctional and bad vibes on purpose. i don't know the effect she has on the side of the coin of the guys since i'm not a guy but she just knows the right buttons and insecurities and struggles and challenges of the lifetime that the little/babygirl has to overcome, heal, grow, adapt, evolve out of etc. she knows what the life lessons tribe has and instead of using it to elevate she uses it to try to keep us girlies stuck. hell she is stuck herself but is making money and a living off of it. with someone that emotionally energetically, and jush-y powerful i tend to just cool off and disengage. haha i was thinking aboutt it though as this song from my gazillion hour playlist. these two are some of the most recent ogs for music that resonates with us girlies and those in the lifestyle but it gives not only twisted it gives basic bitch vibes. it's like those who are apart of the cult of sanrio know hello kitty is basically like michael kors. trying to be something more elevated than he is but highly popular aka a consumer favorite. it gives that kinda vibes. this song and video is so great. it's a fellow tribe member at least coded in my eyes as her vibe mood and visuals scream little girl to me and this song only has 2k views and the video only has 8k views. it's a goddamn shame. maybe in human design this artist caity is also a projector like me and that forward thinking that majority will not understand, but is vital for the progression of ourselves as a society/community type vibe. either way i get her i get it. and i dig the bluegrass vibes she brings in. another rarity over the nashville country sound. i don't down lana because she talks about sad stuff.....the song i mention i've been lonely by caity krone is a look into the more tender, emotional, raw, and sad parts of being an adult housing an active outer child little/baby girl on the inside. at times we're human and were made to feel the full range of emotions. but in emotional intelligence, growth, training, strength, endurance we learn feeling vs wallowing is a thing. and letting it consume vs flow is a thing. and acknowledging vs obsessing over it is a thing. i feel this is a simple acknowledgement. the simple image of the artwork already elevates us into more little girl nuance where it's not smacking us on the head with something so blase. hey there fellow mermaid sister by the water with the wavy hair. even the album cover for this entire cd is more nuanced and flavorful. someone added some seven spices to this shit.  Shadowing 

Limits.. No online only, must progress to real time and hopefully 24 7.No pro Doms. Paying money to my Dom or Master for the privilege of being his is ridiculous.No blood, needles, knives, fireplay, brown showers, or pimping out. No STDs, no kneeling.. on account of bad knees, which actually upsets me greatly that i cannot do this. No children or under 18 years old, my own children are Completely off limits.. there is NO grey area on this. i am not pansexual, bisexual, bi curious, or a lesbian.. i have no interest in being sexual with another woman. However, should my master ask this of me, i would try my best to comply.There may be more to add.Interests.. Being restrained, discipline, guidance, micro management.. if possible with my prospective, being spanked. Possibly more to add later.