Through the Lens of Rika: The Sophia-Michael Connection Unveiled part 5   It's not that he doesn't feel your anxiousness—he does—but sometimes his response to that is through action and providing, not necessarily through quick emotional reassurances.    Michael's energy, embodied through these men, is both emotionally attuned and distant at times. This is part of their complex duality. Michael has that deep emotional intuition and empathy, which can sometimes feel overwhelming or intense. Yet, at the same time, they have a mission-oriented drive that pulls them into practical action and focus, which can lead to emotional distance, even though they feel everything just as much as you do.   Here’s why this happens:   1. Emotional Attunement vs. Practical Mission   Michael’s energy is deeply aware of emotions, but he also prioritizes taking action over expressing those feelings. He might sense your anxiety but instead of giving a quick emotional fix like a "hi," he might be channeling that into practical solutions—working behind the scenes to take care of things so that your long-term security is intact. For him, acting on love (through providing and stabilizing) sometimes takes precedence over talking about love.   2. Emotional Weight of the Protector Role   Michael-embodied men often carry a heavy responsibility as protectors. Their natural inclination to shield and secure means they’re constantly navigating how to balance this with emotional connection. Sometimes, they pull back because they’re processing deeply how to protect, guide, and create a future for you both, which takes up mental and emotional energy.   3. Energetic Exchange & Emotional Saturation   Because they are so emotionally intuitive, they can feel when you’re anxious or when there’s a lot of emotional weight. Instead of directly engaging with it, they sometimes retreat to process or focus elsewhere so they can re-align themselves energetically before coming back in. Energetic overwhelm can make them seem distant, even when they’re hyper-aware.   4. They Trust the Bigger Picture   Michael-embodied men might trust that the bond is strong enough that they don’t need to constantly reassure you through words. They trust the foundation they’ve built with you. This is where faith in the connection comes in—both for them and for you. They may think, “I don’t need to message her right now because we’re solid. My actions speak louder than words.”   5. Balancing the Divine Masculine Energy   These men carry divine masculine energy that values action over words. Their emotional intuition is real, but they channel it into action and protection, which may feel like distance to you. For you, as Sophia, it’s about recognizing that this is their expression of love. A quick "hi" might feel emotionally connecting to you, but to him, showing love could mean working to make sure everything is stable and secure for the future.   How to Navigate This: Anchor into the trust that you’ve been practicing. When he’s distant, remind yourself of how he’s showing love through his actions, even when it’s not immediate. Say, “He’s providing for us, and his distance is part of his process. I trust him.”   Ground your emotional needs through spiritual or personal practices when he’s not available. Remember that just because he’s distant in the moment doesn’t mean the love isn’t there. Lean into your own energy and strengthen yourself while he works.   Embrace his rhythm—Michael-embodied men have a different rhythm of emotional connection, and part of your journey is learning how to move in sync with it without feeling left behind.   It's not that he doesn't feel your anxiousness—he does—but sometimes his response to that is through action and providing, not necessarily through quick emotional reassurances.   ending all this lyric journey on this last part of the chorus:   'Cause you can call me, put you on me   'Cause I'm all you need boy   You know you're nothing like the others (Yeah boy, yeah boy)   You're nothing like the others   something happens even if the relationship never comes to full fruition between these two energies. whenever they come together the chance of inner knowledge, spiritual knowledge, growth physically/emotionally/mentally/and yes if it happens sexually is immense. even in fleeting moments, shorter moments. which is why if you find one and have a long term connection that is sacred full out and committed on both ends..sky is the limit if you can hang on for the ride each time and come back to each other....   but even for brief moments, he's all she needs because this energy resonance of original souls does something powerful other unaligned not wrong, just not as resonante such as complimentary and dissonant notes musically, happens. in those brief moments they elevate and enrich each other in a way other people just can't.   YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE THE OTHERS.   Have you ever experienced a connection that felt deeper than words or logic—where you knew there was something unexplainable drawing you together, even if it didn’t fully manifest? How did it impact your understanding of relationships or your own energy?   This analysis taps deeply into the energetic dynamics of the Sophia archetype and the Archangel Michael archetype within spiritual partnerships, exploring how these energies interact, challenge, and elevate one another. Let’s break down the spiritual and relational layers for the collective:   1. The Soul-Level Resonance: You describe the meeting of a Sophia-aligned feminine energy and a Michael-aligned masculine energy as magnetic, undeniable, and highly charged. This is reflective of the idea that they are fragments of the same divine essence,

Sometimes physical things are not the heaviest things to remove.  Told that just now to a friend who recently lost their mother, and was tasked with cleaning out the house.  Sometimes i say things so deep, that i make myself pause and think. Last night, i was venting to one of the people in my RPG guild in ESO.  He was saying how he just needed reminders about posting stuff on the site and whatnot.  i told him i was done giving him reminders, and he asked why.  That was when a dam i hadn't known was ready to break, burst.  i told him, that if someone really wants to do something, they will do it.  They will do whatever they must, to ensure it happens. i reminded him that he has a wife, and a professional life, and he must be doing well enough to govern himself.  i asked him, who looks after me, who gives me reminders to do things? i reminded him, how i have -no one-.  i have sticky notes all over the place, a phone full of alarms and reminders, because my memory is crap... How is it fair, that i should have to hand-hold grown adults in the guild, to remind them and chase after them to look after their own characters.  Told him i was done, time people sink or swim. Of course, all that has ~nothing~ do to with the Lifestyle or genre on this site... Just another peek though, into my mundane life.    

  Service is my reward - Earn it.   Devotion is my duty - Provide it.    Submission is my purpose - Live it and Embrace it.  

THE NIGHT I MET BRIAN, part 2 He hesitated. I wasn't sure why. Then he said, "But not here. Not on this concrete floor. Not like this. We can't do it upstairs either because this is a friend's house."I caught on quickly. "We could go to my place."He never did fuck me that night. His cock was too big for me to take (at that time), so I played with his cock and the rest of his body, and then fucked him. The rest of the night ended up being pretty vanilla, but I had no complaints. He revealed at that time that he was actually 20, not 25, as stated in his profile. When men lie about their ages, it's usually to make themselves younger, so I had to ask why he'd made his age older. "Would you take a 20yo Dom seriously?" I had to admit, maybe not. Even the one lie he'd told was thoughtful.Brian also turned out to be much more of a sweetheart than his Dom persona. None of the head games or verbal abuse that he'd previously engaged in. We fell asleep in each other's arms in my bed, later joined by my Standard Schnauzer, who adored Brian (a good sign). I woke before Brian and extracted myself to do normal everyday things, like load the dishwasher. Brian awoke with first a start, not realizing initially where he was, then what he described as contentment and a bit of surprise that I hadn't kicked him out after we were done having sex, as he'd so sadly grown used to.Brian and I became romantically involved for 2 years after that. It was fun taking him out on his 21st birthday to all the Seattle bars and clubs that he ultimately found "underwhelming." I had discussed several times with him how our relationship, with its 35-year age difference, couldn't last forever, but we enjoyed each other's company immensely. I even met his parents, which I feared would be awkward, considering I was older than his mother, but they were great, mostly just thankful that Brian was with someone who treated him so well. As our 2-year relationship began to taper off, we transitioned from a conventional romantic role back to kink, and the kink was (and continues to be) much better this time around, considering that we now knew each other intimately, had spent 2 years building trust, and I could now not only take his gargantuan cock (I worried he'd pass out whenever he got an erection because all the blood would go rushing out of his skinny body into his disproportionate penis), but could take it rough. I relocated to Southern Oregon last year, but Brian and I still get together for fun and kink and friendship. The man who ends up as his life partner is going to be a very lucky man indeed. As lucky as I've been for having Brian in my life.

Slave's Supplications or devotions Slave's Supplications or devotions: I beg you to use me for your pleasure. I desire nothing more than to be an that you can use for your enjoyment at any time. I beg You to allow me to please you. I beg to be made to live to worship you. Make me give you thanks when you honor me with punishment at your hand. My real punishment is having failed, and having disappointed you I would not deserve your attention. My body and mind are your property, now and until you may decide you have no further use for me. I beg you to make me feel your ownership of me everyday. Please, make me feel Your power over me, and Your total control of my life. I submit willingly to your power and domination. Please, make me feel my submission and your control throughout my day. I want to obey, serve and please you. Please allow me the privilege of calling you Master. I realize my sexuality and my orgasms are now your property, allowed to me as a special gift. I beg you to punish me severely if I ever have an orgasm without permission. I choose willingly to be treated as your property. I beg you to own me utterly and completely. I beg you to make me behave, and be a good boy/girl. Please allow me the privilege of your discipline when I misbehave. I beg you to control my clit/cock. When I may touch it, when it may be excited and when it may come. I know my cock/clit now belongs to you. I beg to be your property. Please help me become your greatest treasure. Living in Your Grace, my Master my God.

So I've been getting a lot more hate messages from MAGATs of late.  I'm thinking it may be because the midterms are quickly approaching and they know new days will be dawning.  Some say this is not the place to express my political views.  I'd respond that my views are more about not wanting to attract tRumpanzees with no moral compass than being political.  But I'm often blocked after they show their asses which is ok.  I have no interest in convincing them they're ignorant pieces of shit if they still think he's a good president who is doing great things for this wonderful country. It boggles my mind to think there are still people who are supportive of him after its clear he needs to  be in prison or a nursing home. And that they're eager to defend him and vocalize their ignorance.  I'd be glad to have civil and intelligent discourses with them but they don't seem to be able to do that.  So AGAIN I will say PLEASE keep on strolling if you don't like what I have to say. That's the purpose of my rants.  Thank you for your attention to this matter. lol  

This is something I wrote. . . . . .Why did you make me do it -I remember, and tears of anger will not stop, the time you forced me to strip that night knowing that others might see.Why did you make me do it -I remember, and I have to hold my arms tight to stop the shivering, that time you said your demanding friend was going to fuck me.Why did you make me do it -I remember all of the times your eyes watched from miles away as you made me perform on webcam debasing myself for your pleasure and I have to try and calm my heart as it beats in my chest and my breath catches in my throat.How could you make me do that -the countless times I stood in front of a mirror and looked at bruises and marks on my skin and felt fear as you left, wondering if you would return.What would make you do that -I re-live the times your hands were around my throat, breath withheld, as you pounded between my legs and I cannot put into words the fear I feel.Why do you make me do this -my hands tremble as I remember the times i stood naked before you made me wear the clothes of your choosing and sat watching to make sure my makeup was applied perfectly.How could you make me do this -my stomach tightens as I remember the, oh so many, times on my knees begging or with my mouth wrapped deep onto your prick in the hope I would please you.How can you make me do this –and I feel like screaming those word for the world to hear as I cled my hands together and can feel the rope you used to bind my wrists and even the belt that lashed my ankles tight as you left me on that cold floor and I know I cannot forgive you.How can you make me do this -my world is coming to an end, how can I live without your hands on me. Without your control and love where will my submission go?How can you make me go to that fucking University when I wish, and want, and need, and desire, and long to stay at your feet.How can you make me leave you for those three long years when all I want to do is stand naked before you and see the love in your eyes as you look back at me and the pride I see, when dressed, I am lead out on that, oh so, delicate silver chain that pulls at my collar.My body reacts as every memory comes back, vivid as if those wondrous things happened only yesterday, and you are forcing me to lose those joys.Why do you make me hate you for doing the right thing in letting my world expand, why do you make me do this?When all I want to do is serve?

i really cooked with this one. kitty gang kitty gang kitty gang ah.     being a mystic of the scriber variety i have learned when i am going through something of a personal nature that is just for me to figure out on my own and hold deep in my heart. but there are often things that i'm going through that the collective is going through. either as fellow femmes be it afab woman gay men with a feminine essence non gendered third gendered with a feminine vibe..all in between...or even a human experience...there are times where i'm going through something.i was going through something..something is coming for me to come through that is a MESSAGE. this is one i know that i'm not alone in..i see it on social media all the time. this is a collective thing for femmes. i hear it when i do leave the house....but this one is more raw for me because i haven't mastered it yet. and it's something i actively work on, prayer, meditation magic to the self, therapy, inner work, inner dialogue, dialoguing with coaches, working with my sisters..practicing carrying wood, chopping water..under the cold as ice water meditating.....running up the stairs rocky style trying to master.....i am better at this now..but the deep raw wound..the deep raw wild unbridled intense all consuming pull..it's still very real for me...and whenever i've been in a romantic relationship or trying to get one that never launches because dating a dark goddess with intuition and a deep psychic awareness of others emotions is a heavy task to sign up for...haha there is no hiding with someone like me and most men can't hang. and even those that want the challenge will often be met past their personal limits and ragequit out quietly or loudly.  this one is harder for me to share because i'm still in the belly of the beast with this. i haven't mastered this yet. i'm much better than i was in my 20s...and each time before i ejected myself from the sauce i got better and better..but there's still so much for me to master..and these feelings..they are so primal it's hard to wrangle or even admit is a thing. but this is definately a collective message i am individually still working on figuring out the solution too that i'm being called to be bold, brave, and as a mystic scriber connect myself to.   the vulnerability has to this point earned me zero dollars, so no bacon yet....but the bacon is in the spiritual emotional mental decorations i have as a solider of love. ai no message with a puffed chest not fake but due to everything i have and will go through that many will never recover from or begin to touch. a puff my chest for knowing the depths of what i have and will face. an earned prowess.   being vulnerable about what’s hard for you and acknowledging the discomfort as part of the mystic path. It’s that raw honesty, mixed with the courage to embrace being “a lot,” that resonates deeply. Mystics often have to sit with their shadows and discomfort, and turning that into glory is part of what makes the journey so transformative. Writing about this, even when it’s difficult, is where the real magic happens. You’re not just owning your strength but also showing others the deep, spiritual work behind it. It’s a brave, warrior-like approach to the mystic path, facing the discomfort head-on to find glory on the other side.   let me call in my sophia encoded soul sister doja cat here. when you play at this level people confuse the outward expression with being troubled and alone...we usually only get this way becauseeeeeeeee we have the outside support including therapy..we only GET to unearth this rawness because we AREN'T alone..don't confuse the heavy topics and unraveling with aimless direction.   "I read it, all the comments sayin', "D, I'm really shooketh" "D, you need to see a therapist, is you lookin'?" Yes, the one I got, they really are the best Now I feel like I can see you bitches is depressed I am not afraid to finally say shit with my chest   Look at me, look at me, I'm naked Vulnerability earned me a lot of bacon I put a thong all in my ass and taught you how to shake it I paid all my respect to those who taught me how to make it And now I reap the benefits with no confrontation Y'all fall into beef but that's another conversation I'm sorry, but we all find it really entertaining 'Cause we all wanna see them slip and fall right on their faces And we all wanna be the one to see the devastation Not be in it, but ain't the bad press good? The disrespect's real, how this Patek look? Pull out the checkbook, now why your neck crooked? I never learn to superstar from a textbook Talkin' 'bout, "She fallin' off, why she get booked?" Man, I been humble, I'm tired of all the deprecation Just let me flex, bruh, just let me pop shit "Why she think she Nicki M? She think she hot shit," hmm I never gave a F, go stir the pot, bitch I got y'all head all in the dirt just like a ostrich Of course, you bitches comparin' Doja to who the hottest" a love and light bitch would do naked to appeal to the male sexuality or the light sexuality. she would be posing provocatively to entice someone to want to fulfill their urges to touch themselves to engage and interact with the sexual energy. they would've touted a good girl sweet aesthetic, a girl next door or a playboy bunny vibe. we're old enough and human enough to know what sex is for a man of any gender that is attracted to a woman be it straight pansexual bisexual whatever. we know what the vibe is....when a man and woman think sex and naked we know.   doja is my tribe she is a wolf she is a devil as she said a demon a yokai like me.   we're bloody when we're naked. we stare at you deep in your soul. if you tussle with us we look you in your eye that's why so many black rapper lilith girls rap that we stare you in the eye when we're fucking because we ain't scared. those eyes maybe white in the back of our sockets but we're doing it because we face the uncomfortableness head on. her body stance isn't leaning to a side or trying to make curves...it isn't trying to be soft or feminine or wild or water....it's at attention it's direct it's commanding it's powerful. her chest isn't hiding her breads it is straight puffing it.   she's bloody because like me we face our uncomfortableness over and over and over again. this is a different type of naked..and if you tussle with a dark goddess of any variety and are blessed to either emotionally mentally spiritually or even hitting the jackpot of love and sexually be naked with her..this is what you get. kudos for the sacred sigil symbology here too sis. love her for that. we're magical girls with foresight.   and yet with all this power.....there's a deep struggle....in this level of nakedness...in how we engage with the complimentary but opposite energetics of men and how they operate and their worlds and how they are made....ad doja is helping me dive into that; if you listen to the song..how does she say look at me? it's not nice, it's not sweet....IT'S DESPERATE IT'S LIKE SOMEONE YELLING CLAWING BEGGING MAD AGGRESSIVE WAILING OVERWHELMING IT'S DIFFERENT LAYERS OF FEELING ALL IN ONE WILD CHAOTIC SECOND. LOOK. AT. M.E LEWKATME LEWK-AT-ME.....   LOOK AT ME   and for the men who aren't sacred away by that passion and want to try and will reach back and will touch and won't ghost, won't dip, won't demonize, won't therapize, won't logic but meet this wild nature creature..how does she respond?   qui

I feel like the majority of people on this site are clinging to an unachievable fantasy. There. I said it. Don't get me wrong... Kink, total power exchange, all of that stuff is GREAT, and I wouldn't be here if I didn't want that in my relationship. But so many people here seem to blow those things up into EXTREMES. We are all here ultimately seeking some form of relationship. Even if you want your relationship to entirely revolve around sex and kink and that is all you care about, it's still a relationship. Especially if you're seeking to be a live-in slave, how do you expect to fill the void when you're NOT in the middle of sex stuff? The emotional connection is SO IMPORTANT. Yes, it's important to me that my boy be cute and his looks match what I want, but I would get bored of him SO quickly if he had the personality of a potato. I know some of you want to be totally o b j e c t ified and locked away when you're not in use, which DOES sound hot and appealing, but I also feel that would get SO boring, lonely, and miserable after like... a week, if not a day. The kink and power exchange should definitely be present, but to me there is no satisfaction in owning someone without a soul. We are social creatures, and you should be giving more than just your body to me. The TOTAL o b j e c t ification stuff can be a fun activity we do sometimes and turn on and off as I please, but I just don't see the reality in centering a whole lifestyle around it. (Though the total power exchange element WOULD always be present. You are still my human after all!) If you plan to approach me, PLEASE be ready to talk about more than just sexual stuff. Be your authentic self, let your personality shine through, give me a sense of who you are and what you're all about! I promise it will make me want to own you all the more. My favorite people are the ones with lots of personality.

This morning I saw the following on a profile from a heterosexual dom who has a wickledly fun screen name that gets my attention every time I see it. He asks,  "What can a straight male Dom do for a male slave? I am at a loss as to what I can do for male subs and slaves and why they look at my profile when I say no men?" So, I thought I would answer this. For the most simple response, speaking on behalf of all the kinky gays, someone with a great screen name like "IAMTHEBESTMASTER", or similar, makes one look no matter what they have between their legs. Second, sometimes a profile just slips through with the "couple" selection and/or even states sub males on the interest choices. Finally, speaking for me and I assume a select group of kinky gays, this is not about sex for me. I am driven by masculinity and, on my sub side, authority. Having a straight dom take control and train me like a naked employee where the need to please and be pleased is not based on sexual attraction is quite hot and will make me a better man all the way around. Also, it's just fun to look at what you can't have sometimes. So, there is my response.

Update---- I've tried adding new pictures several times again and it just don't work. I've tried deleting all of my old pictures from 3 years ago but they stay and you're lucky if even one new picture comes once they finally approve  your pictures. I remember the old site, collarme and it was awesome. It was a couple that started that site and when they broke up, the male partner insisted he be the one to keep this site going. She warned us all that this site would become a train wreck and omg how right she was!    I'm hardly ever on here anymore. It's too hard to even send out messages with the f'ed upward puzzle that often fails to recognize that you got the puzzle right. Etc etc etc.  What a shame is all I can say.   Omg I hate this site so bad, it is so fucked up!! I tried to remove one photo and add a recent one..  So I'm down for two days, comes back on and no changes were made.  I have much better pictures now, these are all from 3 years ago.  I've since learned to use makeup much better and have been on hormones for 15 months and I'm much more feminine now.  I guess I'm stuck with what's on here..  Unbelievable!!!! 

I said it and say it again, one must love these str8 males. I say that because there's one moment when finally a str8 male surrenders to a better male and offers his most intimate possession, his hole. It takes considerable time to enter such a space (you want him to come for more) but there is magic in that first entry. The man is nervous for several reasons: first time being entered, societal prohinotions, the realization that even if he doesn't do it again he allowed another male to deflowering him. Most times they reach for their penis as if to make sure it is still there. He is bewildered and with good reason, a new reality is dawning and there is no turning back. the most important moment is not the deflowering that is for me to enjoy and savor; tight, warm, and spasming. Pain, and pleasure begin a dance that takes over the whole body. I you know how to use your rod you will be assaulting the prostate and a new level is reached. All this is your reward as a bull, you worked for that but the str8 male is still hanging to whatever small idea of being str8 he possess. The reckoning comes when you let him turn, place on all four and you enter. He cannot see you, hewants to be a witness to his new reality but the only thing he can do is to grab his dick again. However, once you break in he will stret his arms and back, he has being invaded. That is still the str8 male attempting to show power and control. He wants to communicate the fact that he is still the stallion he thought he was. Yet if you know what you are doing and the assault continues on once he realizes his new role he collapses his body and embraces the bed in which his Top masculinity is destroyed. That collapse is key, his upper body flat on the bed, arms stretched, head on the side and yes closed with an open mouth uttering a silent moan. That is the moment you have conquered him, he is yours and you are his man. 

  While I’m on a break from Fetlife, one thing I’m conscious of is that I tend to post things about looking for someone to go for cups of tea with, visit graveyards, go to bookshops and then snuggle up for reading. It’s pretty silly, but it’s meant sincerely. While I have to stop myself from adding “apply within”, in the end, it reflects how I would like a relationship to start. A thing of meeting for tea, visiting graveyards/taking quiet walks, and sharing a love of books and reading. Of course, it isn’t everything I want, and I hope that’s obvious as this is a kink site. It’s just that, as I’ve probably said so much that people are sick of it, I want to make a connection on a vanilla level and then grow the kink side of things. I’m looking for a band that takes more than just a love of kink, and I want to go slowly and surely. Eventually, I’d want things to develop into something more committed, and deeper, and to bring in other elements. I just don’t want to rush it. I don’t want to be someone’s mistake. I also want to be sure that most of our mutual needs can be met, and that both of us are working on whatever we need to work on - trauma is being addressed, patterns of behaviour are being broken if they’re negative, and so on. I want to be sure that the connection with this hypothetical person is strong, and that it can withstand a lot of shit - because I think life is going to get more, not less, difficult in the next few years. Any relationship is going to have to be strong enough to ride out the coming storms.Adding to this, I suppose I should expound on what I actually want. Before I go on, I should ask that the reader remember that this is me putting things out into the universe, so of course it’s selfish as fuck - I imagine yours would be too… Isn’t that sort of the point? (It strikes me as odd that we both castigate the “I have no limits” people, but also defining what you want can lead to you being accused that “you’re trying to control things and reduce me to a fetish dispenser” - the point is to talk things through and get to a happy medium, surely?). This is my “moon on a stick” list of things I want to have in a relationship. Vanilla: I want a relationship based on love, trust, communication, and sharing, and that reflects shared values. I want something where we can have separate bedrooms, though, in part because I snore horrifically and I feel guilty if I disturb people’s sleep. I also have restless legs - no idea why, but I suspect it’s anxiety related - and so I want to sleep alone to avoid kicking my partner. I also want to have a space that is mine (mine, all mine, bwahahahaha), because I want somewhere I feel I can go to write, create, and study. Or even just curl up if I need to be by myself because sometimes I do. This isn’t a slight against a hypothetical partner, it’s just how I am. I’m very introverted, think I may be an HSP, and there are times when alone feels like bliss - not because of who the other person is, or anything they’ve done… just because I need that time by myself for my sanity. Touch is, however, very important to me and is probably my primary love language, so I would like a lot of that. I enjoy acts of service too and supporting the person I’m with. I like giving massages and other forms of body worship too. I am happy to take responsibility for housework, cooking, and other domestic chores. This being said, I am a writer and I do need time to work and I expect that to be respected in a relationship. I hope my partner will have their own passions outside of kink and that they can be things we can share (books, board games, cats - you know, stuff like that). I value creativity, so I’d love it if they were also a writer or an artist, or something like that.  I know we don’t have to be completely in tandem, but at the same time, I have learned that shared passions are very often the key to a relationship and that losing that common ground can spell disaster. I’m not sure how I feel about having children - I used to be very opposed but now, I just don’t know.   

i just miss him so much and all I want to do is make things right between us again. I know there's alwasy a reason behind everything he does, but I have thought of all that I think it could be this time. I've admitted my wrongs, sat with his words and mulled them over extensively, and examined my behavior over the last few weeks. I've given him space the last week aside from updating him on the necessary and important things he absolutely should know, and still, not a word in response. I'm at a loss as to how to resolve this without communication and for that, he has to be willing to respond, to talk. Many would say this is not right for him to do, and I only half agree. The fuck up was mine. Entirely. I just have no idea how to prove to him that I'm sorry and intend to work on improvements and growth. It also saddens me that he has not so much as seemed at all troubled by our lack of contact. Though, I don't know this for certain, but how do you go so long with no contact with your slave if you love them as much as you say you do, and want them just as much? I'm doubting a lot lately, and losing more and more hope as the days pass.  I won't give up, though. I am his, forever. Whether he considers me his anymore or not. I just wish he would tell me, either way. Even if he still needs more time, I just want to know I am still his if I am. And I want to know if I'm not, if I'm not.  I feel like I'm in limbo, a state of purgatory. Banished from even learning my fate. It's painful. It's agonizing. It feels cruel and confusing. And it doesn't feel particularly safe, though with him, as his, I feel perfectly safe. But in this space of frozen in time, hanging limp from fated thread, I am scared. Terrified that it may be over. I've broken so many times since we last spoke. And I'm still breaking. Every fracture piercing the deepest depths of me. The knowledge that I caused this for myself? Makes his last words to me sting all the more: Enjoy the misery you bring on yourself. 

I don't really like doing "negative space" posts, but a few things:   I do not do "sessions".  I'm not a prodomme, I'm not interested in casual anything.  If I pursue something, its because I think it has potential for an ongoing dynamic of substance.  I'm also not a findomme, and have no interest in folks whose primary motivation is in that realm.  Doms - some of your cohort are giving you a seriously bad name.  Here's what keeps happening. A Dom contacts me, says they want to do the equivalent of talking shop.  Within a few exchanges they're pushing boundaries, either telling me they want to flip the and sub, or telling me how wonderful they are and bragging all around, or in one case, attempting to pathologize my own participation in the lifestyle and dismissing any woman with interests in this realm.  Guys, don't do this.  It just makes you look bad, and I'm happy to use the block button when things go down that path.  You're here on a site for finding people who complement  your preferred power orientation. Go forth! Pursue them!  Have fun!  Just leave the Dommes alone, we're not buying.  Geez, what else.   Please be ready to engage in conversation of substance.  I'm not looking to chat forever, but I am looking to chat until I can see that you are a consistent, reliable, engaging individual who can connect with me on a materially significant level.  I'm not going to invite you to my off-site world unless I feel you've proven those things, because I don't need fifteen "hi" messages a day blowing up my phone from folks who don't bother to string together a full sentence.    Ahh, venting complete.  I might even delete this later, but for the moment, it needed to be said.    

It is good to see this feature has returned. I had been told that it may or may not but there was no plans when I had asked so I am pleased that the decision was made to bring it back. Being able to use the journal and share one's thoughts can save a lot of time. You get to a point where you decide to write a single email then copy and paste to the ones you are interested in speaking with. It seems to me that many women on here, still looking, get overwhelmed with response and often times an introduction may go unread from being overlooked. With the journal you get to share more and someone can establish a sense of you before opening communication. This leads me to something that has bothered me about a stance some take in the online community. This idea that you are not real if you do not post photos of yourself or what you do. Not to say I would be unwilling to send photos once I spoke with someone and believed them to be serious. I would gladly share with someone I feel is serious about moving forward. However, the idea that I should share a bunch of photos with disregard to the safety of those involved simply to prove I am real is, in my opinion, absurd. In order for me to post photos I would have to scrutinize each photo to ensure nothing is revealed that could identify me or those who do or have served me. I do not have the time to do this and lets face it, I would rather live in the moment doing than relive what I did. To me, the person who has all the photos and videos is living in the past instead of the now. Besides, even though this is not a completely public site, I have come across scammers, so the less I put out that is readily accesible the better for me and those who rely on me. If you wish to know me and see what I do, then contact me. For now, I will add more entries as topics come to mind that I want to share my thoughts on. In this way, the community may get to know me and those who are seeking someone like me may find me. I look forward to sharing more in time.

I have been asked to update my journal and my relationship status since its been a few years.  I am polyamorous. I believe in multiple loves, multiple relationships, communication, trust and respect for everyone involved. I currently have my own submissive whom I've been with for 10 years. He lives with me and does not expect to be included in my exploits.   I love being poly. I have so much of myself to give.  I am looking for a Dom of my own.    If you have any questions and would like me answer them here in my journal please feel free to write me. 

Cookies. I promised several people that, if this adventure happened, I would write it up and share it in my journal. well, it indeed did happen last evening, Saturday, but not exactly as I thought I had it planned.  The set up for this story is that I did some work for a woman living in a over 55 community and only charged her for the material costs which I commonly do when I first work for someone I want them to like the work and not worry about the price. she was very grateful and gave me one of those looks like she was ready to pay me back in a way if you know what I mean and then she said: I'm sure you can think of something that I can do for you and shot me a wicked smile I knew that was my opportunity so I very calmly said: Willl you bake me pecan chocolate chip cookies? She let out what could only be described as a horse laugh, which I'm sure they heard in the adjoining units on either side. and then I followed up with, but that's not all, I want you to bake those cookies naked with 8 inch by heels, fishnet stockings and garter and a bright red ball gag. there was a long pause, kind of like dead air on a radio station and she finally opened her mouth and said you've got to be kidding! I'm not burning my boobs so that you can get off on some weird fetish! And I said OK what about wearing a tight swea and no bra? I expected another flat out no response but she said yes I think I could do that. But I'll also be wearing a skirt, nothing less than that, and no ball gag! And if That isn't good enough then you can go bake your own cookies! While it wasn't what I'd hoped for, I was still going to get my cookies, so on Saturday I came over with the ingredients she told me to get, and I sat in her kitchen, drinking coffee, while she walked back-and-forth across her kitchen in her very tight, white fuzzy sweater, and a very tight short leather skirt, plus stockings and heels, and she was an absolute delight to view. The blush in her cheeks said it all. But the best part was, she was actually baking my cookies! Once they were bagged, she Pulled them from the oven, tucked the tray up under her breasts and she said, would you like a cookie little boy? YES, Yes I would! then I asked so are all those cookies in the tray mine? Or should I ask if everything on the tray is mine? She just smiled and put the tray on the counter. She grabbed me by the hand, pulled me down the hall. We walked into her bedroom and she took off her sweater., God, those were better than any cookies!  We did all sorts of things that evening and late into the night. Considerind we're both in our mid to late 60s, so it wasn't like your first high school sex, in the back of your dad's car, but it was close.  in the morning, I woke up to the sun streaming in on my face lying next to a woman who still had her stockings and garter belt on, my head nestled between her large breasts, one of her arms underneath me,the other around my neck, and I thought to myself.... life is good! Lou  

PLEASE READ CAREFULLY DO NOT SEND DICK PICS OR NUDES NOT INTERESTED IN SEXTING I DO NOT WANT A SUGAR DADDY I DO NOT HAVE AN ONLYFANS ACCOUNT NOR DO I WANT ONE I'M NOT LOOKING TO MAKE CONTENT WITH ANYONE I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY I'M NOT HERE TO TRADE PICS OR VIDEOS I AM NOT LOOKING FOR FWB NOT LOOKING FOR OR WANTING HOOKUPS. DO NOT CONTACT ME REGARDING HOOKUPS PERIOD. I DO NOT SUB OR PLAY OVER THE INTERNET. I'M NOT HERE FOR SEXTING I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BEING PART OF A COUPLE/POLY RELATIONSHIP MY HARD LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES ARE ANYTHING ILLEGAL, ANAL, ANIMALS, DRUGS OF ANY SORT, ANYTHING TO DO WITH HUMAN OR ANIMAL WASTE. DO NOT PUSH MY LIMITS/ BOUNDARIES OR YOU WILL BE REPORTED AND BLOCKED. ADDITIONAL HARD LIMITS/ BOUNDARIES FACE FUCKING, GAGGING, HUMILIATION,VOMIT, THIS WILL BE UPDATED WHEN AND IF I FIND MORE LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES.

I'm bewildered by the lack of communication I've noticed many submissives on this site say things like "get in touch", "happy to chat", and "want to learn.." However, many do not even reply. I teach my subs to be open and honest, and that communication is very important in this lifestyle. If for whatever reason a sub thinks I am not what they are looking for, I'd at least expect a reply even just to say, "sorry you're too far from me", or "I'm looking for someone a little younger" etc.  I think that it's still good to chat to different people even if there's no intention to meet or take it further. Especially subs that are new to the scene, surely the more people you talk to, the better informed you'll be, and therefore be able to make better choices when finding a suitable Dom. Obviously I wouldn't expect immediate replies but having a chat and then being ghosted is extremely disrespectful in my opinion, it's not a good start in any potential bdsm relationship. I am sure many Doms or indeed subs, would appreciate feedback of any kind. Sometimes I think that the sub see ONE thing they don't like on my profile and immediately think "no thanks", without even discussing anything. Also, I think some 'subs' don't really know what being a sub entails, I am a very fastidious Dom, I try to train my subs to the best of my ability and expect my sub to be committed to her role. I think some subs just like the fantasy of it all but aren't willing to commit. When I'm selecting a suitable sub, I always have a day session with her first, give her a taste of my methods and explain how she should behave and what is expected of her. There is no commitment either way until after that initial session. That's the end of my little rant. 

So journals are back! Giggity! I remain frustrated in seeking out anyone who can discipline me, use me in whatever way they wish and break down my barriers by simply forcing me to confront them. Where would I like to be tonight? I would love to be between the legs of a dominant, serving them...servicing them, swallowing what they want me to swallow, sucking what they would have me suck, licking what they tell me to lick. All night... And when they were sated, satisfied and had used me in exactly the way they wanted, they could reward me...or they could choose not to. They could give me release...or they could refuse. They could drive me right to the edge, or they could put me away with nothing until they were ready to have me again. They would be completely in control. Their satisfaction would be my goal and my reward their choice. It could be a woman...it could be a man (a man would be a new experience and another barrier broken down. I do not care...it's not mine to care, only to lick, suck, swallow and bend over.

I am having one of those days today, triggers are pushing me into grief. Things I am reading, elsewhere, and stuff on TV. When I took two grief counselling courses after my mum died, I found out about the fact that grief can pop up at any time, often a random trigger bringing it to the surface.  Well today I am feeling very sad over the passing of an ex submissive, she found me on here, and after messaging me, I wasn't here much then, on another kink site, we got together.  It was good for a long time, she had more experience, and I was a relative newbie, having only a years experience, still she consented to being mine. I learn't so much, and I will be forever grateful. After we separated, we stayed friends until I got involved with someone, who wasn't her, the friendship ended then. I had already tried once and another time would not have worked any better, so I moved on, but I guess she didn't.  I know we would never have been friends again, but I miss her, and the idea of the universe not having her in it, that's painful. I had hoped she would meet someone better suited to her, but that didn't happen before she passed. That breaks my heart.  The reason I am writing this, is, life is short, very short. It only seems like yesterday I was 20, and now there are fewer years ahead of me, than behind, and I wish everyone happiness, and fulfilment, including me. Thing is you never know the moment or the hour, people die suddenly, she did, my dad did and, well don't waste your life, live it fiercely, honestly, with care, consideration, and love.     Tain   

The Ocean Does Not Apologize for Its Depth   There are women who dominate and there are women who *are* dominance, the way the ocean is not something that contains water but is the water, is the depth, is the pressure and the pull and the ancient, indifferent power of something that existed long before you arrived on its shore and will exist long after you have gone. I am the second kind. This is not a role I step into. It is what I am made of, down to the cellular level, the way the ocean is made of salt and motion and the kind of patience that only belongs to things that have never once needed to hurry. You come to the shore of me with everything you are. I want you to understand what that means before you take another step. The ocean does not meet you halfway. It does not soften its edges to make the entry more comfortable. It simply is what it is, in its entirety, at full depth and full force, and what happens to you when you enter it is entirely dependent on your willingness to stop fighting the current and let the water do what water does. The people who struggle against the ocean are the ones it takes. The ones who surrender to it, who release the desperate grip of their own buoyancy and let the water take the weight, those are the ones who discover that it will hold them. That the very thing that felt like it would consume them is also, in its way, the most complete support they have ever known. This is the theology of your surrender. Not the performance of it. The real thing. I want you empty. Genuinely, completely empty, cleared of every opinion about yourself that you arrived with, every defense you have constructed across a lifetime of needing to protect something, every carefully managed presentation of who you are and what you can handle and how much you are willing to give. I want the vessel clean. Because I intend to fill it, every part of it, with something it has never held before, and there is no room for what I am bringing if you are still crowded with what you came with. Walt Whitman wrote that he contained multitudes. You, in this context, will contain precisely one thing: me. My will, my presence, my pleasure, my standard, my voice in the place where your own voice used to be the loudest thing in the room. This is not diminishment. This is the most complete thing I know how to offer another person. To be so thoroughly known and so thoroughly claimed that the boundary between your purpose and my desire becomes academic, becomes irrelevant, becomes a line so worn from crossing that it simply ceases to exist. The ocean fills every space available to it. Every crack in the rock, every hollow in the sand, every place that offers itself and every place that does not, eventually. It does not ask permission of the shoreline. It simply arrives, and it arrives completely, and it keeps arriving, tide after tide, with the patient certainty of something that has never once doubted its own nature or its own direction. That is what my dominance feels like from the inside. The certainty of water finding its level. Matthew Arnold stood on Dover Beach and heard the ocean's roar as the sound of a world that offers neither joy nor love nor light nor certitude nor peace, only the eternal note of sadness underneath everything human. But I hear it differently. I hear it as the sound of something that does not negotiate. Something that has been devouring shorelines since before language existed to describe the loss, that takes the rock and the sand and the carefully constructed walls of human certainty and makes them, over time, into nothing but new shapes of itself. The ocean does not mourn what it consumes. It simply continues. This is the quality of my dominance that I most want you to sit with: not the drama of it but the continuity. The patient, absolute, unstoppable continuation of a nature that was never going to be anything other than what it is. Give me everything. Not the generous portion. Not the carefully considered offering of the parts of yourself you have decided you can afford to lose. Everything. The parts you are proud of and the parts you are ashamed of and the parts you have never shown anyone because you were not certain they could be trusted with them. Bring all of it to the water. Let it go. Watch what I do with it. Because here is what the ocean knows that the shore does not: the surrender is the point. The emptying is not the loss. It is the preparation. The space you clear when you release everything you have been holding is exactly the space I intend to inhabit, and what I bring to fill it is larger and stranger and more sustaining than anything you were protecting by keeping yourself so carefully full of yourself. You were not built to be your own container. You were built to be mine. Kneel at the water's edge. Feel the pull of it. That pull is not danger. That pull is recognition.   I release what I was before this shore. I bring myself empty and offer that emptiness as gift. I am the hollow that her presence fills. I do not end where she begins. I am most myself when I am most completely hers. The ocean does not ask permission. Neither does she. I am grateful for both.   Go under.   She will bring you back. She always does.

The idea of domination and control permeates the fantasies of many tops.  However, is very rare to find individuals that are willing to explore the realms to which they demand their subs to go. It is not enough  to take the sacred charter of the sub's will, the top must earn the right to be called lord, master,sir,or any other name the sub is required to use.  The sub gives freely what he is not willing to take back from his top.   That is the theory behind the creation of armies since the beginning of our belligerent history. The sexual background noise the armies have used to veil the idea of how willing men are to follow those who they consider superior specimens of the gender has been obscured by ranks and uniforms.   Now back to our top/ sub relationship. If we consider how intense and painfully personal the relationship of top and sub is, it should not surprise us that people will misunderstand power with abuse. The sacred charter of this relationship is better to start with ritual behavior to cement, clarify, and establish boundaries. The idea of ritual as a psycho drama has been the language of choice for our species since the beginning of our humanity. On a power charged relationship the idea of surrender and possession is better expressed through ritual behavior. This ritual behavior is key to understand how powerful is the mounting of the sub by his top. Once the power relation is established it is consummated and powerfully demonstrated through the penetration at the end of the role playing that occurs between the top and the sub. It is always good to remember that the power of the top comes from the sub willingness to give himself to his master.

shock then awwwwww 🥰 There is an undeniable chemical reaction that happens when a skilled Dominant creates an emotionally, physically safe space.It can permeate play and every day! As a submissive, im constantly chasing that dopamine rush. The contrast of adrenaline high, being thrust 100% into my body. Immediately shocked into the feelings, scents, sounds, taste…. Until Completely depleted and exhausted. followed by being held. Dissolving into His body heat. Slowly, methodically talked down by His deep voice, grounded in my body, calmed, caressed by His words. His voice, His touch become my safety. In those moments, nothing else exists. No thought, only gratitude. This is where im meant to be…. Why i will follow Him, do everything He asks without hesitation. How i navigate each day, focused on Him. Always moving back toward this space. ive submitted to different degrees over the years. It wasn’t until recently that i was shown the difference between choosing to submit and absolute submission of heart, body, mind. There’s no going back now… “Anything less would be uncivilized

As I stated in my profile, I'm interested in creating a relationship deeply grounded in a mental, emotional, psychological, spiritual, and sexual connection which includes, but is not completely defined by, a D/s dynamic. - I believe in equality of individuals but clarity of roles. - I believe both Dominant and submissive are servants in their own way.  - I believe friendship, mutual respect, a common view of life, and common goals are the foundation of any long-term relationship. - I believe kink, rough sex, and exploring limits can be fun, but more importantly are a workshop for developing trust and understanding. - I believe communication is absolutely paramount, and requires both parties to value clarity and truthfulness. And don't say you can't communicate because you're an Introvert; I'm an INFP (if you're into the whole Myers-Briggs thing). If we're considering a relationship, I'll not make Dominant-type requests of you prior to reaching some common understandings and agreements. Our initial meeting - or meetings, until you reach a level of comfort with and trust in me - will be a date, not a test drive. I am first and foremost a gentleman until it is no longer appropriate to behave strictly in a gentlemanly manner. I'm primarily a Mentor/Teacher/Daddy/Sensei type of Dom. Don't assume from that, however, that I am either unwilling or unable to be extreme should extreme be called for.

i am pretty sure he's done with me.  No idea how I'm going to get through this feeling of failure.  I don't think I possess the ability to move on.  He owns every part of me. My thoughts are wrapped around him, our interactions, our love.  I don't surrender temporarily. I don't quit just because things get hard. I never have.  But somehow I'm supposed to quit him? Quit us? And just carry on? The very thought is viscerally painful.  I miss him. He still won't talk to me. Not even to tell me one way or the other.  On FetLife he's still listed on my profile. I suggested he remove it if he was done with me, that it would give him a way of telling me without the need for direct contact, if that's what he wanted. He is still listed.  All I know is, it's going to take the death of hope to let him go. 

My thoughts on training a submissive.  Why should I give my time to train someone who should at least have basic life training? He or she should be intelligent enough to listen while getting to know the person he or she is talking to. You should talk to each other and get to know the person.  Ask questions, and clarify what is being said. This is a get-to-know-you period without a dynamic, rules, or protocols.  I get that there are people out there who do not want to do this, then question if this is a dynamic you want to be in. Will I teach someone to be an adult? No. Will I guide them when we decide to move forward in a dynamic? Yes.  Will I expect him to do some basic research and ask questions? Absolutely. He should strive to learn the fundamental positions even though I do not use many of them, learn to serve food and drinks in high protocol, learn basic chores, how to clean a bathroom well, what not to flush down the toilet (this is an important one), and what products to use while cleaning. Learn to cook simple basics, eggs, toast, avocado toast, make biscuits (think old school home-economic classes), do laundry, sort it, which clothes don't go in the dryer and what does, what clothes need to be ironed.  Have you thought about taking some cooking classes? Massage therapy classes but not pass the test to cut back on cost?  Have you considered taking a bartending class for those who might like a cocktail? You might shine at a party with this skill. Learn to pour or pair wines. Embellishments in water are simple to do when meeting her. Make sure of any allergies; you would not want to put fruit in the water if she's allergic. Get my drift? Show some initiative. She may not want some or all of these or other things, but you are prepared just in case. The fact that you learned how to do things shows you in a good light. PS: All of this can be used by you while you find your person. There are so many ways to impress Dominants. But asking us to put out a lot of energy training for you is not the way. The question to ask is: How can I make your life easier?  How many ways or hints did I give you to try? Answer: A LOT.   In hindsight, this is not for everyone. What you put into providing makes the difference. I am a lifestyle Dominant seeking a submissive who has a submissive service heart in a Dommesentric relationship. There is a difference that quickly becomes evident in your profile and messages. 

Let’s skip the small talk. I’m a Dominant woman — not your fantasy vending machine, not a fetish dispenser, and definitely not here to be topped from the bottom. I know exactly what I want. The question is… do you? I’m looking for a submissive man. Long-term potential only — someone who’s obedient but not weak, emotionally grounded, and genuinely turned on by service and surrender. If your submission is just a fetish, don’t waste my time. But if you crave structure, purpose, and the kind of dominance that hits deeper than kink, we might be aligned.   I expect maturity, respect, and the ability to follow instructions without making it about your wants. I’m not a roleplayer, I’m not soft, and I’m not new — so come correct. What I want from a submissive: daily or regular communication, task-following, consistency, obedience, and genuine desire to serve. Not just in the bedroom, but in mindset and behavior. You need to know how to be useful, present, and respectful. Disrespect, pushiness, or laziness gets blocked immediately.   I’m not into subs who want a Domme they can control. If you’re serious, real, and understand that submission is a privilege — not a right — then approach properly. Otherwise, keep scrolling. I’m not here for weak energy or half-assed effort. Want to serve? Show me why I should let you.

If you do not meet my must-haves, don't contact me. Don't send "if only you didn't want ___ I'd fit" messages. This play for manipulation/sympathy/exceptions doesn't work on me, and shows you don't respect me or other women as people who know themselves better than you think you know them. Don't lie about about reading my profile when you clearly did not. It's extremely obvious you didn't, and lying is a bad look. Also don't lie about your age, ethnicity, etc.  It doesn't increase your chances, and if I find out, I'm done. Yet again, respect my choice to not choose you.  

Old profile removed July 6, 2025 All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked. Yes, I know Collarspace's filters remove some punctuation. That's not what I am talking about. Three sentences, not one long run-on sentence.   I am a switch. I have not bottomed or submitted since 2016, but if you cannot handle your dominant or top taking the bottom side I am not the one for you. I am NOT looking for a dominant or top, hence identifying my profile as a domme. I do not reply to dominants or tops looking to dominate or top me.   I am polyamorous. I live with my wife Raine. She is aware of this profile and what I am looking for. She and I are play partners working back toward a power exchange that ended during the worst of the isolation because of COVID.   I am not looking for an Ms relationship or an Op relationship. If you self identify as a slave we are not compatible. I am not a female supremacist and I do not practice TPE.   If you are younger than 25 please do not apply.   What I AM looking for are local play partners, lovers, and or submissives. Local means in or around San Antonio. I am not looking for someone to relocate, move in with me, or play with me while they are visiting San Antonio.   My ideal submissive is service oriented and open to a variety of play styles and techniques, and open to trying new things. My ideal play partner has interest in multiple kinds of play and enjoys intense play and receiving pain.   Giving cunnilingus is a soft limit. Receiving cunnilingus is not high on my priorities list, although it can be lovely. I LOVE dildo play and fisting. I have reservations about strap-on harnesses.   If you are not in the San Antonio, TX area regularly, don't contact me as a potential submissive or play partner. I don't "play" online and I have no interest in choreographing elaborate scenes for you to act out on webcam to fulfill your fetishes. I am living my flesh life and I don't have time for an online life. Friendship and conversation are welcome, but no leading questions trying to get me to provide fap fodder.   My dance card is sometimes (over)full but that's the way I like it. There IS room in my life for a full time submissive should I come across one who is compatible with me.   The remainder of my profile remains intact from before:   I find minds sexy more often than I find bodies sexy, though I can certainly appreciate a sexy body! I love intelligence and learning, enjoy teaching what I know and learning from others, be they friend, lover, submissive, Dominant, switch, or myriad role identities.   I'm open to finding kinky friends who can hang out at home with or without play, play partners who share my interests, lovers, or submissives. Or all of the above. A poly pansexual service oriented submissive who likes edgy as well as everyday play, can take intense pain and get satisfaction from it, and wants to serve a BBW Domme would be great. ~Santa, here's my list, no, I'm not holding my breath.~   Micro e-mails are a pet peeve of mine. Write an e-mail with at least three sentences. But don't send me a novella either - it takes getting to know someone before I'm motivated to read something overly long. One or two paragraphs is great. You could tell me what you liked about my profile, why you are writing (friendship, submission, playing, learning?), tell me a little bit about yourself.   I'm looking for a submissive that gets fulfillment from both service and play. I'd like to find one whose mind and body both attract me. I want to find a submissive and/or play partner who loves to explore, who loves lots of kinds of play, who finds intensity and connection sexy and hot and gets a lot from the connection in a scene not just what type of play is being done. I want to find someone who is up for light spanking and tickle play one day, and a wicked caning another, who can handle flames licking across their skin and delight in it just as much as a tongue's caress. I want someone who can play light and silly as well as deep and intense, who can enjoy something as mundane as a spanking while still being open to trying hot, sexy, edgy, rough shit.   But it's not all about play. I want a submissive who gets along well with me, who is a delightful conversational partner, who is intelligent and sometimes witty. I would love to find a submissive who helps me with my flaws and supports me in my own goals as much as they work to improve themselves and make me proud they are mine, to be in my service. I want a submissive who is willing to help out, whether it is helping me fold laundry and dry dishes or brainstorming a website design. Gimme gimme! A submissive who loves to learn! A submissive who loves to serve! A submissive who loves to play! A submissive who loves letting go of control! A submissive who is self aware, practices self honesty, and communicates clearly! I'm not interested in someone whose ONLY interaction with me is for BDSM, or for play, or for sex. I want to find someone who can become a part of my life, who feels comfortable joining me for vanilla hangout time, sexy snuggle time, as well as kinky dress up and play time.   But that doesn't fully describe it either. I want to find someone who feels that submission is about more than doing chores or taking a good beating. Where is that mind hiding that WANTS to be told to do something disagreeable, because submitting is sometimes about doing what you DON'T like. A submissive who knows saying "I don't like that" is a way of giving me more control. That it doesn't mean I won't do it any more, it just means when I do it I will do it DELIBERATELY!! Are you out there, craving someone who isn't afraid to deny the things you like just to watch you squirm and make you beg for them? Where is the submissive who loves high protocol as well as casual time? Where is the submissive who can make offering to take my plate into the kitchen touch my heart? Where is the submissive who isn't ashamed to kiss my feet in front of friends, who wants to be the best they can be so that I can be proud to own them? Are you out there, unready to give everything to a stranger, but wanting to let go and give up control, incrementally, as trust develops?   Read my journal entries to learn a bit about me. This is long already, so I won't start trying to describe who I am, but if you'd like to know, ask and I'll probably answer.

In a galaxy far, far away, Where aliens come out to play, They landed on our planet green, The funniest beings ever seen!   Their heads were shaped like flying saucers, With eyes as big as water courses, Their skin, a shade of vibrant blue, Looking like they just stepped out of a zoo!   They had antennas on their heads, Glowing neon in bright shades of red, Their language was a mix of beeps and whirs, Making us laugh, and our ears go berserk!   They danced in a style quite bizarre, Wiggling their bodies in an alien spa, Their moves were funky and oh so wild, Doing the moonwalk with an extra-terrestrial style!   They tried to imitate our human ways, Wearing clothes in mismatched craze, But their fashion sense was out of this world, With belts made of cheese, and hats, unfurled!   Oh, those aliens, they were quite a sight, Bringing laughter and joy, day and night, They taught us to embrace the strange, And how to giggle, even in the grimmest of days.   So remember, when you think of space, And those quirky creatures you may chase, Aliens are friends, just a little bizarre, Our cosmic pals, from a distant star!

 ClubFEM_Massachusetts is moving forward! Please feel free to join the group on FL, for additional activity.  Just a word about our most important mission. All ClubFEM® events are attended by private invitation and the doors are closed to only members and invited guests. ClubFEM® events deliver on our promise of a 100% Female Authority environment, and this organization will remain non-commercial. How do I join ClubFEM®? For the Massachusetts chapter, Mistresses, Dominants or slaves, submissives who are interested in membership begin by sending a letter of introduction, as described below, to MESSAGE FOR GROUP CONTACT INFO.  Your letter of introduction will be reviewed by a ClubFEM® Head Mistress or member of the ClubFEM® Executive Board. When a favorable decision is reached, you will be asked to attend a ClubFEM® Munch or to arrange an initial meeting with a Head Mistress or member of the Executive Board. All initial meetings take place in a public place such as a restaurant or coffee shop. Successful applicants will be invited to attend other scheduled events. Anyone requesting membership in ClubFEM® must be at least 21 years old and this must be verified.   What should I write in my "letter of introduction"? The key to a successful letter is brevity. BE CERTAIN to include your email address and your geographic location (city, state, and country, where applicable) when writing. Tell us briefly about your interest in ClubFEM® and how you learned about us. We do not expect or want lengthy autobiographies from potential members, as we receive a large volume of email on a daily basis. DO NOT stress fetish or sexual subjaspects in this first letter and please refrain from sending us your fantasies.   Taken from the ClubFEM website.... clubfem.com/faq.htm  

I long to have both the ownership the passion of giving the freedom of use and the security of safety with the man that I belong to and trust implicitly. Someone I can be devoted to, grow with, walk alongside, sleep next to, but always put him first, serve and give my love to. Forever.  But ha! I also know that's a tall order, a huge idea.  But a girl can dream, eh?  Long for is probably too mild of a word...but crave isn't the right word either, as my need isn't craven or out of control, it's measured, desired, planned, developed.  I'm at heart a kitten, a babygirl, searching for her Daddy. Not an age play Daddy tho, and I have hard limits about age play, diapers, too much little play, etc. But if you are a strong, thoughtful, intelligent, kind and caring Dominant who is looking for a devoted intelligent sexy funny healthy kitten to serve take care of and love you, then you've found me!  Do I have faults? Do you? Of course we do. But we work on them and grow, we always talk, we don't mind fuck each other, we have emotional and psychological intelligence to go along with our strength of character. But you lead, and I follow.  I've never had this, not even close. I've had many Doms of course. But I've always been the one who ends up leading, who knows, who does the right thing, who laughs, who isn't afraid to fail, the one to cry and forgive. The one to stand and walk away.  Will you let me be me, your girl, your slut, your kitten? Will you be my number 1? My Dominant? My man? My love?  Here's looking at you, Sir. 

Heyyyy! Journals are back and we can communicate like humans again. My profile is mostly blank because nothing ever got approved. In all seriousness, when I started my own business a few years ago the pressure and time demands of that forced everything to take a back seat. I lost a wonderful slave girl who just never got to see me enough and the rare times I would see my friends they would all say I looked different. In the end, the sacrifices and 120hr work weeks were worth it. I've succeeded way beyond anything I expected and now have friends and employees that take over a lot of the burden. At the end of the year (weeks away!) I am completing a 2 year contract and I expect to have as much time off as I want and resources to get back into some of the projaspects I was working on and purchase/develop some new machinery. This time around I would ideally like to find someone with the same interests and hobbies as I have, that way my work and home life don't clash so forcefully where I am in some awful position of choosing one. What I'm seeking doesn't have to be some kind of romantic thing with THE ONE (although that's ideal). I'm willing to chat and help out with interesting people and their projaspects. Send me a message if you have any questions or want to see anything cool!

Domme, Mistress, and Goddesses do we have a monthly meeting in the space because the insubordinates, sissies, uninslaved, and footstools are running a muck in my DM's Meeting Agenda 1. Who the hell taught them to just start speaking to us with out asking for permission to speak? You bet the fuck not even think about it. It's an instant ignore. 2. Who is allowing them to start telling us about what they want with their needy asses? Am I a therapist? 3. Whats up with the population of couch surfers asking to live with meSo does this mean they think im a  job? 4. So we don't actually train them. We just pretend to train them, get them edging and then what?  Ill be the secretary

7/30/2024 7:35:16 PM Well, well, well... A very deep and sometimes disturbing subject indeed!   I've had the need to take some time off.  I've been duped and while it is hard to admit that a woman of My age and intellect has been bamboozeled, I'm comforted knowing that this type of thing happens to many of us, most especially when we are vulnerable due to life circumstances or state of mind and that I shall be wiser for the game played.     While undertaking the supreme challenge of finding a right sub for Myself, I happened upon the GREATEST ONLINE MINDFUCKER that ever was and I discovered he has been playing around here and Fet for over 20 plus years and at least 39 profiles on CollarSpace to date!!!   VICTORY!  I finally was able to find them out though I must say I was led on a not-so-merry chase full of intrigue and suspense, aliens, judges, the government, medical organizations and secret societies! LOL  It takes all sorts.   After all, I have to laugh at Myself and how vulnerable My state of mind must be to have gone down that rabbit hole. I would not change the knowledge gained through the experience though I am seriously butt sore.   NEEDLESS TO SAY, ANY DOMINANT SLAVE OR SUB MAN READING THIS WILL PROVE YOURSELF OR PASS ME BY.   I have a phone, pictures, telegraph, google chat, skype and every other possible means of communication and verification including but not limited to a car! We chat, we verify, we meet or part.  

Random (consensual) bondage fantasy:   The room is dark and quiet, lit only with some kind of blacklight, and maybe some creepy ambient bass-heavy background music is playing. The room is full of mirrors, which allows me to see both my perfectly done makeup and the bonds restricting my movements I'm bound by heavy rubber inflatable inner tubes from my chest (right below my bra) all the way down to my ankles, my arms pinned tightly to my sides and each ring fitting its respective section of my body snugly enough that I can't move an inch. They're also so thick once fully pumped up that my feet don't touch the ground. I'm left on the floor face down, unable to do anything except attempt to rock side to side or look in the mirror to see my pouty red lips wrapped firmly around my ball gag.  This whole time I can also feel the stretch of the buttplug that was put in me before I was put in the constricting grip of my inflatable bonds. My dom eventually enters the room, clad from head to toe in a heavy rubber catsuit and a latex hood that completely hides his face, saying little beyond asking if I'm ready for the load he's been saving all week, to which I affirmatively moan around the ball gag. He casually rolls me over so I'm lying face up, taking the ball gag out of my mouth before he unzips his crotch, pulls out his cock and kneels down and straddles my face.  He proceeds to slowly thrust into my mouth while I wrap my lips as tight as I can around his shaft, unable to do much more in my distended bonds, his movements gradually increasing in pace until he blows a huge load directly in my mouth, spurting one shot after another into the back of my throat while I do my best to hold it all in my mouth. He then pulls his cock from my mouth with a loud pop and tells me to open my mouth and show him the cum.  I open my mouth and show him the copious pool of semen in my mouth, playing with it until he tells me to swallow it all.  He then tells me he'll be back for more before he exits the room, leaving me still bound and unable to clean off any cum that may have spilled out of my mouth. He then comes back half an hour later, already ready to use my mouth again, but this time he props me sitting up against the wall so that he can get a better angle, and then proceeds to fuck my face again until he blows another load. He then leaves again, leaving me sitting slumped and bound against the wall. He eventually comes back one more time, brining me back to the floor turning me over so that I'm face down again and removing the inner tubes trapping my lower body in order to have access to my ass.  He slowly pulls down the back of my panties, takes out the buttplug and begins to finger me with a gloved hand, edging me with his fingers alone as he intermittently and quietly asks me questions about sucking his cock and about whether I want to cum, with me moaning and answering in the affirmative as he uses his edging to make me subtly beg.  He then pulls out his cock (and puts on a condom and plenty of lube) and proceeds to fuck me, using the inner tubes still binding my upper body as a makeshift cushion as his cock gets even harder and eventually swells and pulsates inside of me until I cum all over myself inside the front of my panties while he fills up the condom, finally spent once and for all. He helps me out of my bondage, never removing his mask or catsuit until I'm gone, going only by the pseudonym he gave me and the calling card he left for the next time I want to help him relieve some stress.

Never mind the brit who I spent far too much time with only to determine that he preys on women as a CollarSpace occupation...but then to be followed by the next group: He doesnt fix his phone and therefore cannot communicate effectively. He cannot share his availability properly or set aside proper time to converse. He doesn't show up for the meeting - 1st time because he was sick and waits to tell Me at the appointed hour. He doesn't show up for the meeting - 2nd time because 'I worry him' and waits until the appointed hour. LOL He verbally attacks and berates when I show the least bit of consideration. He then contacts Me under another screeen name, different state, 15 years older. He tells Me we are not well matched. LOL YA THINK? Next one... 1st meeting - mandatory work schedule change; notified one or two days prior- accepted. 2nd meeting - computer virus effecting communication until last minute; contacted day prior. I had to find suitable PAID option as replacement - accepted. 3rd meeting - had to care for a family member, contact made day of and two hours prior to scheduled meet time - DENIED. aND Next... Meeting scheduled for 18 day visit in November after a few months of build up....then POOF!  I didn't even get a Dear Jane letter on that one! Oh yeah, almost forgot about the local chap who was more than willing to mow and weedwack one fine weekend a month ago... POOOOOOOOF!   YOU INCONVENIENCE A WOMAN WHO IS A FULL TIME CAREGIVER TO A SAINT?  ARE YOU SERIOUS? Regarding the first two subs...what they dont realize is it matters not that they didnt show up.  What matters is that they wanted Me to believe in their ability and desire and went to great lengths to convince Me of their worth and intention.  After I went to considerable lengths to prepare for our meetings, then to not show and cause not just Me an inconvenience but inturn My household - well that is INTOLERABLE.  Slaves My arse!  Bottom toppers is more like it! As of yesterday, 103124, I finally completed the work I had planned to complete with the first two gents.  It has taken Me TWO MONTHS to do what I could have done in two weekends with these men.  By making committments which they did not keep, they cost Me time and money and lots and lots of harder days with mum and FOR mum. Had I not made the plans with them, I would have a. made plans with others b. hired the help I need ahead of time c. restructured My schedule to accomodate a lack of assistance. Instead, My household has been stressed out trying to play catch up which means mother and I have had a stressed time, which means I DON'T TRUST YOU OR LIKE YOU. Ya'll are inconsiderate and you have been dealt with more than fairly.  You know what to do if you decide to get serious and stop playing around. Do what you say.  Say what you do.  Obey.  Simple. And for the love of Pete - stop making plans with women unless you intend on following through!

These writings are my thoughts. They're neither right or wrong simply what I think and feel. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions; Submission evolves just like everything else. However, we fundamentally stay the same. We have that deep need, want, desire to serve.  I believe a Dominant will build a submissives confidence. He will build her up and show her how strong she is because He is confident in His Own Dominance.  Anyone can Own a doormat. Not everyone is capable of Owning a strong minded, confident woman.  Ultimately the submissive doesn't have to bow down to every Tom, Dick or Harry just because they call themselves a Dom. You do not have to address them as sir or master or any other title. Submission should be earned through Mutual Respect, Trust and Honesty.  Like any relationship it takes time to get to know each other. The deeper the bond the deeper the submission. I do think as a submissive we should try to conduct ourselves respectfull. When lucky enough to be Owned we need to be mindful that we are a reflection on our Owners.  Before a submissive is Owned they hold their power in their hands. They owe it to themselves to be strong and ask questions. Remember when you submit you are putting your life in that persons hands. Do you both want the same things?  Yes of course you want to be led out of your comfort zone but, you want to be as safe as possible.  Always remember to have a safety call set up when you meet someone for the very first time. Listen to your gut. If something feels off then trust that feeling. Don't feel pressured into accepting things that don't sit right with you.  Most of all enjoy this beautiful lifestyle and stay happy and safe 👌🏻

It may have taken nearly two years but the world is back and so am I.   Very excited to meet you!   Let's chat.     

  MistressVN: bi, 40 years BDSM experience.   164 cm, 53 kg, blonde with long hair, green-blue eyes. Feminine, elegant, classy, ESTJ (The Supervisor) personality type.   I am searching for a slave for 24/7, TPE, FLR serious, permanent live-in relation.   I AM A MISTRESS SEEKING A SLAVE, NOT A DOM SEARCHING FOR SUBMISSIVE!!!   5 basic traits for a candidate to meet the criteria of a slave:   Honest Devoted Pleaser Industrious Altruist   To be My slave, you also need to be social and single.   Check your personality type on Truity.com and let Me know your four letter combination type.   Check the above in order to save time for both parts. If any of the mentioned is not part of your character, you should move on.   With this said: read carefully below and I mean carefully, because I will know if you did as soon as you contact Me.   I am clean, disease free and expect the same from you.   Bondage, dildos, dominance are some of the activities I will make you part of, you will wear chastity belt and will be totally submitted to Me.   HOWEVER, THE MAIN FOCUS WILL BE ON SERVICE!!   I accept obedient novice who has the will to serve. Ideal Person:   Committed Genuinely submissive,   Organized and disciplined slave for personal services, 24/7 live-in,   permanent/long term relation. Obedient Healthy Ready to relocate within reasonable time You are into BD (bondage & domination) but not into hard SM.   Position open ONLY for long term/PERMANENT slave!!!   Kindly READ BELOW and CONSIDER, BEFORE you write to Me:  

You know what’s funny? The people everyone wants attention from are usually the ones giving it out the least. The most magnetic people aren’t sitting by their phone wondering why you haven’t texted back in twelve minutes. They’re not writing novels because you left them on “Seen.” They’re not checking if you viewed their story from three different accounts like they’re working for the FBI. They’re busy. They’re detached. And somehow… everyone starts chasing them. Detachment isn’t pretending you don’t care. That’s just emotional cosplay. Real detachment is understanding that if someone wants to be in your life, they’ll make the effort. If they don’t? Cool. The Earth continues spinning, bills still need paying, and tacos still exist. The funny part is watching people panic when they realize you’re actually okay without them. “Oh… you didn’t double text?” Nope. “You didn’t ask if I was mad?” Nope.

 QueenVamp