BDSM dating community

Well I'm back on here again to o guess make it more clear on what I am not. There are men on here that really think there Gods gift to women. There's men on her that think that they are here that think that they can try to  seduce you by saying words about their fantasies. There's also men on here. I think women are pieces of meat or for their pleasure only, that their toys, or they want to be abusive,. I am here to figure out what I want. I know what I don't want. I don't want a man that thinks that he can control me. because I know 90% sure that I did not want a man the things that they can control me because that's not. I'm looking for. Always been a strong independent woman I plan to be an independent woman. I will not have a man dictate on what I can can wear. If I'm paying my own bills and buy more clothes and whatever else I have, and even if somebody else is paying for it, I am not a slave nor will I ever be. maybe this is the wrong site for me to be on. I don't know. 

Right now this country has gone backwards. Most states have lost their mind.  Saying abortions for any reason is now going to be illegal.   Fine then child support from the day the woman finds out she is pregnant.  That means ½ the crib cost, the stroller cost, the swing cost, car seat, ¼ at least for rent when the baby will be.  ALL costs for a newborn baby.  Once born that means ½ the cost of the rent or mortgage where the child lives.  For example, if it is just the mother and 1 child in a 2 bedroom for 1000 a month, the child gets one of the bedrooms so has half the rent.  Then the mother pays her ½ and ½ of the child's.  That goes for the power, the car payments, the car insurance.  Things like daycare or food just for the child that is split evenly every month. If a MAN refuses to pay and has more than 1 kid that they are not fully supporting then the man is made to get a vasectomy

I have never worn a chastity belt outside of squeezing into one(painfully) for like 30 minutes at most at a time here and there.And I recently found a site that showed me how to measure, and sadly(sadly?!?) to my non-surprise, i'm much too large and need a custom belt.  One that costs $200-300, not the $30-50 belts that seem to be everywhere.And I think back to a recent conversation I had with a Dominant.  That they don't see the point.  That if they tell their slave not to cum, they want and expect their slave not to.  And they wouldn't want them not to.Besides, they want to make use and enjoy the orgasms, so again the belt is unneeded.And having always had to do just that.  I agree.  And I understand.I don't have no particular joy or desire or need for chastity or denial.   I would be very happy having some form of sex and orgasm daily or more just as I would being denied for days or weeks or more.For me, I don't NEED a belt.   But thinking about it, what I NEED is a lack of control.  And the belt can help with that.I was thinking about that today...  How could I explain that idea to someone, and came up with a story of sorts that I see as being a good way of explaining it.Imagine my orgasm is a pile of cookies in the Kitchen.    My owner can say - "don't eat the cookies unless I tell you".  And I could/would obey.   But then again I also could disobey and eat if I see a chance to.(I wouldn't in reality - i'm not bratty like that)   But even though I was told not to, the ultimate power and control of my actions is held by me.   I CHOOSE not to.   I CHOOSE to obey.    Which in and of itself is a powerful thing for the dynamic.   But my thought here goes beyond that.Now imagine a lock on the kitchen door.  That symbolizes the belt.   With a lock, it doesn't matter my choice or decision or even my desire -  I have no choice.   That was removed from me.   The control I had in any way shape or form to obey or not obey is removed from me.And it's that removal of control that the belt can bring.   I would only have a cookie when my owner allowed.   When it pleases them to do so.   And that brings a different dynamic to the relationship.Even if that is one where I eat cookies daily or more even.   I only do so when my owner unlocks the kitchen and allows me to.   Otherwise, like it or not, I wait.   Helpless and not in control.And it's that, that appeals to me about chastity belts more than anything else.   It's like bondage, but a bondage that can be applied 24/7/365.So it has always intreagued me. That, and the fact I can never really fit in one so it's like a teenager desiring beer, the more you're unable to have it, the more you crave the experience of it, at least once. Anyways, just some random musings from my head.   The end result with everything?   Whatever pleases most.   I don't need it, I don't not need it.    The relationship matters more.    I may always wonder how it may be though.   For better or worse.  But I can be happy never trying it just as I could/would being made to live with it 24/7.So like I said, just some random, maybe meaningless musings... thank you for visiting my mind with me this night...

October 2024: Residing in AZ Tempe area   Wow, two years off this site. Still hasn’t had any upgrades haha.  Quick updates. Health is healthy. All testing up to date as of Oct. 11th 2024. Negative and clean bill of health.   Life updates:    I worked as a caregiver and in hospice and they have all passed on. Did their funerals as well, no family.     No longer wish to continue health care. Got into the Trades. Got an offer out in AZ and leaving CA in a month or two. Good 2nd career path and I’m happy to be in a new state with a good feeling of newness. I can’t wait for my first Monsoon and AZ heatwave.     Paid off every debt and loan I owed. Paid my new car out in full. Have a good start thanks to savings. 

ALL ABOUT MY CFNM TEA PARTIES  For years women have been sexually ified in magazines, on social media and in daily life. But what happens when the rôles are reversed, what happens when the tables are turned and men are ified by women?  Most alternative events ify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back! Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their wine and enjoying the entertainment. Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party every month for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again! Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and ify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.  Notes: My parties do not have the express aim of being a dating service, but naturally, long lasting connections are often made. The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party is not generally suitable for couples as a fluid dynamic is necessary to achieve the perfect decadent dichotomy. It is also extremely inclusive and an absolutely safe and comfortable environment for single ladies attending on their own who wish to explore alternative scenarios in situation where they will be supported. As such, it is obviously not suitable for hen party like groups of ladies.** All guests (both male and female) at the Tea Party will either need to be known personally by myself or will need to contact me with some brief details about themselves and a face photo so I know who they are. All in the strictest confidence and with the ultimate of discretion ;)  The ACADAMAY - THE ONLY CFNM IN EUROPE.  THE FRIENDLIEST, CLASSIEST, MOST INCLUSIVE KINKY AFTERNOON EVER.  DISCERNING LADIES, RELAX AMONGST YOUR PEERS!  IMPECCABALE GENTLEMEN ONLY MAY APPLY TO SERVE THEIR SUPERIORS  BDSM FRIENDLY, BRING YOUR TOYS  HIGHEST DISCRETION AND PRIVACY GUARANTEED Email: acadamayevents@gmail.com SOME REVIEWS! This Tea Party was a riot💃🏽- so many worthy 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆! Thank you Mistress May once again for letting us have such a good time. Miss V Thank you for a lovely evening Master May. I was thrilled to win the Christmas entertainment. You and the ladies are as cool as fuckMark N0. 3 Thanks to @Master-May for some brilliant organisation. Female empowerment. Males humbled and made to serve in a variety of ways. For my part I was stripped, plugged, displayed and disciplined by some amazing dommes. Ordered and sometimes f***** to lie face down on the bed, my naked body would be casually groped, stroked and intimately touched by any number of ladies who took the fancy, and plenty did. I was reduced to nothing more than their playtoy - sexually ified, casually degraded, all while they sipped wine and made conversation with each other. A thoroughly humiliating experience and I've never felt more turned on in my entire life. DEE & Miss El Yes a great evening love it so many classy women ??Bum is now very sore ?? Jon  I just wanted to say a massive thank you for such a wonderful event last night! I had an absolutely fantastic time! I've been 3 times now and it's always the highlight of my month. Ms. A

The Most Dangerous Woman in the Room Intelligence is non-negotiable for me. Not as a preference, not as a nice-to-have. As oxygen. The dynamic I crave lives and dies on the quality of mind across from me, and frankly, a dull submissive is the least interesting thing I can imagine. What would be the point of the subversion without something worth subverting? Because that is what this is, at its core. Subversion. And it is my favorite thing about my own dominance. There is a particular kind of woman the world has decided it understands. Beautiful, polished, old money in her bones and silver screen glamor in the way she moves. The kind of woman who makes a room recalibrate when she enters it, not loudly, but inevitably. The world looks at her and thinks it knows the story: the accomplished man beside her, the elegant life, the complementary pair. Matched. Balanced. Conventional, underneath the gorgeous surface. The world is wrong, and I find that endlessly delightful. He is, to every outside eye, exactly what he appears: successful, intelligent, the kind of man other men respect without quite knowing why. He carries himself well. He speaks well. He is, in every social context that matters to anyone watching, her equal, if not more. The couple that makes people feel vaguely inspired just by existing in the same room. And then the door closes. And he kneels. That gap, between the world's assumption and the private truth, is where the magic lives for me. It is cinematic in the way that only real things can be cinematic, because no one scripted it, no one performs it for an audience, no one gets to see it but us. It is entirely, privately ours. A secret folded inside the most publicly acceptable packaging imaginable. There is something about a genuinely powerful man choosing, with full understanding of what he is doing, to place himself at the mercy of a woman who will use that power exactly as she sees fit, that feels like the most honest thing two people can construct together. Not despite his strength. Because of it. Submission means nothing from someone who had nothing to surrender. The kneeling matters because of who is doing the kneeling. And I will not pretend the aesthetics are irrelevant, because they are not. The cut of a well-made dress. The particular quality of composure that reads as warmth to strangers and means something else entirely to him. The way the room sees two people and I know, with complete and unhurried certainty, exactly what is happening under the surface of every pleasant exchange. That knowledge is its own kind of power, and I wear it the way I wear everything: beautifully, and without explaining myself to anyone. The Trad wife trope exists as a container for a certain kind of woman. Lovely, accomplished on the correct terms, a complement to the man she stands beside. I find that container useful primarily for how satisfying it is to blow the bottom out of it, privately, completely, in ways the people who built it will never see coming and never get to witness.   That, to me, is what real magic looks like.

I’m not interested in disrespectful, fake subs who throw temper tantrums like toddlers denied candy. I’m not here for a drama queen who thinks his pussy is somehow better than mine — sweetie, we’re not comparing fruit here. Life’s too short for attitude, bad manners, and ego contests. If you want my time, bring respect, humor, and a little humility… otherwise, you can keep your crown and your tantrums for someone else’s court

rate this scenario was I to hard ..to soft ..or just right on the girl Here is the scenario that could take place. I arrive knock on the door. you open the door. Wearing only a robe open in the front, just as I requested. Upon entering I look you up and down, and smile with admiration. you lower your eyes to the ground, then walk to the corner behind the door and stand there facing the wall as I had ordered the girl to do. I stand behind you, reach around and cup your breasts and squeeze them in my hand. I squeeze them harder I feel a moan escape lips. I drop one of my hands down between your legs and feel that your moist, but I do not insert a finger. I grab your hair by your neck and turn you around a face me. I say "hello, the SAFE WORD IS RED" do you understand what the safe word is for? You nod that you do. upon hearing this I give your nipples are hard pinch, then I raise my hand and slap each tit once. You you jumped at the surprise. I watch as the red sets in...... "From now in I expect you to fulfill my request, even if I say you have the option oh saying No. Yes you do have the option to say no, but does not mean I will stop right away..but I will stop ... do you understand, you know why this is happening?" You nod yes.. "I want to hear you acknowledge that you understand " "yes Sir I understand Sir" you reply meekly I step back behind you and I raise my belt and it lands with a smack on you sexy ass. "count them for me" I order you You count "one" The second lands a little harder You count 2 The third lands harder You count 3 On the fourth I hear you inhale, You hesitate then I hear 4 the fifth to the tenth are the same intensity as the fifth. I pause to admire the red setting in to you cheeks. Your doing good I say to you. "We are half way done, unless you pull away or use your hands to shield you pretty red ass" I tell you I pause to admire the red setting in to you cheeks. Do you understand? I ask you you reply nervously "Yes Sir, I understand" upon hearing this I swing my belt harder than the first 10 had been. Your raise on your toes but hang on to the table. "11" I strike again just as hard, you g "12" "your doing good" I tell you,as I run my hand softly over your cheeks and feel the warmth "spread your legs and hold very still. " I tell you sternly you spread your legs. I feel you open wider as your feel my fingers pushing past your wet pussy. a moan escapes your lips as my finger makes contact your clit. I run my fingers down your clit and insert the tips into your wet open willing cunt. I hear you take a deep breath. I withdraw my fingers and run them down and them up to your ass. I rub your pussy juices on the outside of your asshole. you tense up, "relax" I say then I step back, and without warning I surprise you with the 13th swat you jump, almost letting almost pulling away "Don't" I warn "count" I tell you I deliver the last few swiftly "20" you say with relief I tell you keep your eyes on the floor and bring me a glass of water to drink you go bring me the water. I walk over to a chair and sit down. come let me see the wonderful red ass of yours my girl you do as told, I run my hand softly over it, being very gentle Now sit by my side on the .....

I bring it on myself, I know. I am a perfectionist overachiever and I do too much. Earlier I was taking a break watching tv, and a song came on. I don't even remember the song now, but I burst into tears for a good few minutes for no reason at all. Other than I have created a monster of a deadline that I am spending way too much time working on. No balance. But we knew this.  The other day I had a conversation with someone about pacifiers. Not just the what, but the why, and the stigma and labels, and how none of that matters. I bought two, they're purple. After a run through the dishwasher I tried one out the other day. I don't know that I feel anything, but I also don't know what it is I'm supposed to feel or if it has to be used in conjunction with a particular activity, like coloring. Which I hadn't done in that moment. Or this one. I kind of feel like Maggie Simpson. What I don't feel like is an infant, and I'm glad of that. Guess I'll continue my experiment another day when I can do more things with less stress. I'm still calling this progress in breaking down barriers. Oh, and I bought bubbles. Looking forward to a day when it's not a million degrees outside. 

Wow.  20 years since I made this profile.  I think I was one of the first.  I haven't logged on for, I have no idea how many years, but my age said 56, so I'm guessing 10.  I've been in two long term relationships for most of the past 10 years, so that makes sense, and I forgot all about this profile.  A lot has changed.  I don't even think the things in my kink list stll exist as choices anymore.  I left them to remind me of who I used to be, and how old this profile is. I'm single.  I'm no longer the cis, het sub with few limits.  I'm now the I don't know what the fuck I am.  Eunuch?  Nongender?  At least sexually. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, acts like a duck, looks like a duck, but it isn't a duck, then what the hell is it?  But whatever it is, it sure aint cis.  And I've sucked cocks and eaten cum and I didn't hate it, and I want to do it again.  So I sure aint het.  And once I know my domme, I don't do safe words or any limits but hers.  Which means I am very careful about who I submit to.  Intelligenge, integrity, respect, honor....  Words that don't seem to matter very much to most in the bdsm community anymore.  Well they matter to me.  And I don't do mantras.  Any of them. And when I say that, I don't say it as a joke.  No SSC, Rack, PRICK, SHMUCK, pretend S&M roleplay.  My first 5 attempts at a new profile were banned for violating the terms of service, because there are things you can't say about real S&M in your profile here.  So use your imagination.  I'm looking for an owner.  And I'm grounded here in Phoenix.  Can't move even if I wanted to.  So she or they need to be local, be relocatable or be wlling to have a long distance thing.  Read between the lines.  I'm old school, I'm real and I'm serious. I don't have the time or patience for games.  No I'm not going to send you anything because you are going to be evicted from your apartment if you don't get 50 today. I can't believe these idiots are still using the same scams they were using 25 years ago.  I updated to a current but faceless pic.  Because if you want to talk, we are going to have a nice Skype or equivelent chat immediately, so we can both see and hear each other clearly.  Then we can talk. 

What I am looking for: I would love to find an amazing submissive partner. This person should want to put in the time and effort it takes to become actual friends and form a real emotional bond. As in any solid relationship, this is not something that will happen overnight. If you lack patience or just want a quick hookup, I am not the One for you. The person in question should be local to me or able to visit on a very regular basis. What is most important to me is shared chemistry and emotional connection. I am not looking to rush into anything. Expect the process of getting to know each other and the vetting process to take TIME. Interested parties should be willing and able to communicate extensively through online methods. I prefer typed text to voice communication, but can verify that I am who I say I am if necessary. If you are someone who does not like to write words or who thinks saying 'hi' or telling me how attractive you think I am is a conversation, you won't stand a chance. My partner preference currently tends to swing towards cis women, trans women, and trans men, but I am pan and could be attracted to anyone if the right connection is there.Preferred Age Range - 30 to 50 Turn Ons & Main Interests: These are my "must have" vanilla and kink interests. While the exact dynamic of each relationship is unique to those involved in it, if any of this is a hard limit for you, we will likely not be a match. * Tease & denial * Orgasm control / orgasm denial * Massage (getting) * Cuddling & Physical Displays of Affection * Oral service * Laughter * Intelligence * Shared vanilla interests I've physically and mentally been through Hell over the past 5 or so years and need a partner who is truly service oriented, who will enjoy helping and caring for their Domme. I am completely willing to discuss this in detail with the right person. If you have fully read and understood my profile and journal, you may send me a polite message detailing why you are interested in serving me, how your vanilla and kink interests line up with my own, and a bit about yourself. Please also include the phrase "You remind me of the babe" so I know you actually read my complete profile. Bonus points if you know where the quote comes from.

Why do I exist: Why do I exist in this vast expanse? A fleeting speck in the cosmic dance, Am I a mere accident of chance, Or part of a grand, divine romance?   Do I wander aimlessly without a cause, Lost in the labyrinth of life's applause? Am I a whisper in nature's laws, Or a beacon in destiny's claws?   Do I exist to love and to dream, To unravel the mysteries that gleam? Am I a ripple in life's stream, Or a figment of an endless scheme?   Why do I exist, I often ponder, In this universe, do I wander? Am I a question without an answer, Or a journey to realms much grander?   In the silence of night, I search for clues, In the stars, in the wind, in the morning dew. Why do I exist? Is there a muse To guide me through this cosmic ruse?   Questions linger, unanswered still, In the depths of my being, an unquenchable thrill. Why do I exist? Time's hands fulfill The mystery of life, a quest until

Master's Writings Fundamentals: What Turns You on is Good & The Struggle Against Social Norms Far too often I find individuals hung up on their internal permission to lean into what turns them on. They’ve discovered this or that excites them, but due to baggage from social norms, upbringing, or who knows what prior learning or pressures they experienced in their lives, they struggle to allow themself the space or freedom to explore this desire more fully. It tends to lurk in the realm of things taboo, and frequently causes them feelings of shame, guilt, or a need to closet this part of themself off from the world and hide. I was chatting with a submissive the other day, who was struggling with a kink, they clearly found exciting, but felt immense guilt each time they approached it. They were essentially stuck in this tug of war between internal acceptance and desire fulfillment of this new found pleasure. This causing significant anguish emotionally as well as guilt for liking this new thing but knowing it was “wrong” somehow. As a person and as a submissive, they were seriously struggling with this both as a person and as a submissive. I believe there are some fundamentals that I believe are core to this conversation, both for them as well as for others who struggle similarly: Note: I will preface all of the following thoughts with the limitation that I am referring to pleasures, fetishes, kinks and actions that are consensual and safe for all involved.   Life is short, enjoy it however you can. I recognize this is a hedonistic view of things but life can be hard at times, I believe we should find pleasure and enjoy it wherever we can. What feels good, turns you on and brings you joy should be enjoyed. Pleasure is a very personal experience and as is the internal permission to allow yourself to enjoy the sensation. Seek out those pleasurable things and allow yourself to let them bring you happiness. Life is short. What turns you on is good and Social Norms are just other people’s opinion. Regardless of what that is. If it floats your boat, its a good thing. Never let anyone else tell you its not. Most of us were brought up with social stigmas around sex, gender, nakedness, and so on. We were taught by parents, church, media what is what is evil or wrong. Social norms, prejudices, stigmas, and things designated as taboo are passed on by others. We are brought up believing them and because of that, they hold power over us and they are hard to shake off. Yet, I believe, so long as it does not impact another person, you and you alone have the right to determine what is right and good for you. You hold solvency over your mind, will, and body. As soon as you can see feelings of wrongness, taboo, or evil, as opinions conveyed to you by others. As soon as you begin thinking, evaluating and choosing for yourself what is right, good and pleasurable, you will be ready to embrace “what turns you on is good”, and you will be open to far more than you could imagine. The journey of self discovery is an essential one. I believe discovering what you like and why you like it, is one of the beautiful journeys we get to experience as we enter the lifestyle. If we can maintain an open mind, open heart, and free ourself from feelings of guilt, shame, self judgment as we take this journey, we can learn more than we ever thought we could about who we are in life. There is an entire world out there of kinks, fetishes, aspaspects and combinations that may excite you, intrigue you, turn you on, or turn you off. Discovering these is a beautiful journey that goes far deeper than whether or not you like a thing. Understanding the why and the how, exploring what it is about a thing that speaks to you, brings a deeper understanding of who you are in ways you could never imagine. Learning Acceptance for others builds acceptance of self. As we discover our own likes and dislikes, we learn that what turns you on is not always what turns others on. Accepting ourself and our own personal preferences requires us to embrace the idea that YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK). Here in the lifestyle community, we don’t judge, don’t condemn, or shame what others enjoy, just as we would never want to be judged, condemned, or shamed for what we like. The vanilla world is full of instances of non-acceptance and persecution, but not here. Accepting others perspectives and desires as different than your own, helps you find acceptance for yourself, and is a powerful thing. When you can step outside yourself to see the struggle and understand it for why and why it is, you will be able to free yourself to understand yourself deeper and truly explore. To this submissive I spoke to, and others why may read this, I wish you a healthy, positive, and guilt free journey in the lifestyle. I hope you can embrace your pleasures fully and allow yourself to revel in them. As someone wise once told me, when you discover your “Freak Flag”, that truth you’ve found about yourself, Waive it high and proudly.

Suddenly he pulls away and your mind races with concerns that you did something wrong.  Without hesitation his mouth takes in one nipple warming it up with a gentle suction and flickering of his tongue.  The sucking stops and you feel his tongue passing through your cleavage to the other nipple to give it attention that it deserves. Again his mouth leaves your yearning breast and his tongue goes back to the valley between them. His tongue again started its journey down to your belly button making sure to circle it several times and finally penetrating it.  You suddenly realize his hands were cupping your ass cheeks but was too distracted earlier to notice their firm grip.     His finger tips now over the top of your lacy panties he again starts moving slower than molasses and begins to pull them down, while his tongue begins to wonder around.  Just as you think he’s going to take them all the way to the floor he stops halfway down to your knees and his tongue pulls away. Again you fret trying to figure out what you did wrong to make him stop. He places his forehead against you just below your bellybutton sending his heat all through your pelvic area.  His warm hands gently slide between your legs like a wedge or a person praying.  His hands now pressing on the most inner part of your thighs and his thumbs slide across your lower lips. You suddenly realize your  juices are gushing by now. Knowing his hands and your panties are dripping wet he pulls them off, hoping he doesn’t throw them towards a wall to see if they stick. He whispers in your ear, DON’T MOVE! and walks away,  now what runs through your mind. He returns and gives you another little kiss on the lips. As you’re standing there you feel a feather touching your right ear, it goes under your chin and back up to your left ear. It moves to your nose the down to your chest. The feather gently caresses around your left breast then over to your right breast.  The feather ventures to each nipple circling them several times.  Down towards the belly button it travels circling it several times.  The feather heads to your hip and then down the outside of your leg around your ankle and back up the inside of your leg cross up above your pubic hair carefully making sure not to get it wet.  He takes your hand in his and reminds you to keep your eyes closed. You recognize the way to your bedroom and he places you next to your bed. 

Helpful hints: I am poly. This means I may have other subs or lovers. Or none. According to my desires.You don't have to be poly but I will not change who I am to be with anyone. I enjoy men and women and the full spectrum in between. My interests aren't about what's between your legs so much as what is in your mind, heart and soul. I do enjoy naughty bits but I prefer to get to know you first. See if we are a good match. I host local kink events. I have a busy and fulfilling life. In order to get my attentions you will have to be interesting and should put your best foot forward. I enjoy intelligent people, no matter if they are verbose or quiet. If you're too verbose, I do have a ball gag. :) I live in Alaska. Yes it's cold here. Yes it's dark here. Yes I see the aurora's outside my house. Yes it's full of wildlife and quite amazing. Yes it's a bucket list destination. I'm happy to talk about it but if that's all you want to know then watch the discovery channel. Good luck.  

So I suppose I should expand upon what we are seeking so as not to waste anyone's time. I am absolutely not a Dom or even a switch, not really. Not in kink and not in life. But I am looking for a submissive. Who will let me have my way with them like a spoiled child. I want someone so wrapped around my fingers that even though there really aren't any consequences I can give them, and that even though they could over power me or outsmart me they choose not to they choose every second of their submission wholely over and over again. No matter what I am doing to them they choose me as their princess. A submissive daddy type if you will. And daddys arent controlled with fear and pain and neglect but with love and attention and sweet words...and other tantalizing treats.    I feel this is the type of relationship Westley and Buttercup had. Lol.    Ok I am sure I have done a not so stellar job explaining this but hopefully a bit better then before.    Be well everyone.   As always curious friends are always welcome as well.

Let’s stop pretending this is rare. Predators exist in the kink community for the same reason they exist anywhere power and vulnerability intersect. Because some people see trust and think “opportunity.” And before someone gets defensive, let’s clear something up: Predators are not always the creepy outsider everyone avoids. Sometimes they’re the respected Dom. Sometimes they’re the “experienced” submissive. Sometimes they’re the educator, the mentor, the person who has “been around forever.” Predatory behavior isn’t defined by gender, role, or years in the lifestyle. It’s defined by how someone behaves when they think nobody will challenge them. And the easiest people to target? Newcomers. Because new people want to learn. They want to belong. They assume experienced people know what they’re doing. Predators know that. So the playbook starts. First comes the love bombing. “You’re special.” “You have real submissive energy.” “I normally don’t take beginners but you’re different.” Then comes skipping negotiation. Suddenly limits, safewords, and risk discussion are treated like unnecessary formalities. “Real submissives don’t need to negotiate everything.” Right. Because negotiation creates accountability, and predators hate accountability. Then comes isolation. “People here won’t understand our dynamic.” “Don’t talk to others about what we do.” Isolation removes witnesses. And predators hate witnesses almost as much as they hate boundaries. Then comes the real classic: gaslighting. When someone says a line was crossed, the predator rewrites reality. “You agreed to that.” “You asked for it.” “You’re just struggling with submission.” No. That’s manipulation. And let’s address one of the biggest lies predators love telling: “A real submissive wouldn’t question their Dom.” Bullshit. Submission is consensual power exchange, not a psychological hostage situation. Anyone telling you that you lose the right to object once you’re “submissive enough” is waving a red flag so big it should blot out the sun. And then there’s the final shield predators love hiding behind: Reputation. “They’ve been around forever.” “They’ve done so much for the community.” Cool. None of that makes someone incapable of being a manipulative asshole. Communities that protect reputations more than people create the exact environment predators thrive in. So here’s the part newcomers need to hear clearly: You can ask questions. You can say no. You can stop a scene immediately. No dynamic removes that right. No title overrides consent. No one owns your autonomy. And anyone who tries to convince you otherwise isn’t demonstrating dominance. They’re demonstrating exactly why predators love environments where people are too polite to call them out. Predators don’t survive because they’re clever. They survive because communities stay quiet. Stop doing that.

End of 2021 !!! A lil note to say ... Thank you for all the funny, sweet, lewd, crude, caring , seductive and fucking outrageous .. emails, naughty pics and vid clips throughout this past year ..I've been truly entertained by some, moved by more than a few and heart strings tugged at a time or two ..     May we all find what we seek .. I discovered Collarme now Collarspace in my late 30's.. going into my mid 50's now and it's still an awesome site.. I've met some pretty amazing men and women ..online and lots offline too ! I've fallen in love, made mistakes and shed a tear or two for not taking a chance or not making an effort when I didn't feel the "timimg" .. Ya know we never have enough time, there's that one day tho !! It's called regret !    So... whatever you identify as and whom ever it is you choose to please and for whatever your reasons .. do it all the way and the only way you know how .. by being you!! Authentcally u! Don't cheat yourself out of being that needle one the haystack..   Happy Kinky New Year .. Hugs, bumps and grinds !   Ms. Eve    Ha

Laissez les bon temps rouler"       

NEW CRUSH ALERT!!!! Michele Morrone from the 365 days movies   I'm cheating on my Winter Soldier   LOL

Something that might be useful to consider - When you write someone, especially a femme presenting person on here who is probably drowning in crap emails,  and you say any variation of "love your profile" or "I read your profile" - we can look at Who's Viewing Me? with just a simple click of the mouse, to SEE if you actually read that profile. If your name isn't there, then we know without any further effort that you are  1) a liar who will say whatever they think will get their dick wet and 2) lazy. You couldn't even put in the 3 to 5 minute effort to read and find out who we are before lying. Add in that most of us put something in the profile to sort out the time wasters, like a code word or request. That way we can see at a glance, often without even opening the email and just hovering our mouse over it, if the email has that code word or request honored. Which means only people (guys) that actually make that effort will get read or responded to. Because I can tell you after nearly 20 years on this site that the guys who don't read your profile NEVER show up. At all. They almost to a man write minimal responses to any reply they get, always about what they want done to them, and they are usualy just wanting free phone sex at most. They are a waste of time and effort, because they aren't here for actual BDSM or any variation thereof. No one wants to cater to that. Which is why we usually just delete the email without reading further.  If you actually DO want to find a BDSM partner, you need to make that effort, READ that full profile, and figure out if the person behind that pretty picture is actualy compatible with your interests, then write a REAL email to that human being much like if you walked up to them on the street, mentioning whatever code words or requests are in it, and what it was that you offer that they are wanting.  I know its slow and frustrating and a lot of work, but the alternative is being the spammer that everyone deletes automatically.

Now that we have journals back, it's time for an update. This is now a poly household. We're set up with both a dungeon and a medical playroom.  The dungeon is amazingly well stocked with just about every sort of cane, flogger and whip you can imagine, and some things you probably haven't.  Anyone who's interested in play time or dungeon time should feel free to ask. If you're interested in more than just playtime, there are some things you should understand:  This is a KINKY HOUSEHOLD.  It is NOT kid friendly.  If you have kids, and have custody of them, we can talk and even arrange some playtime, but we're probably not going to be a good match.  This is a POLY HOUSEHOLD.  In order to make this dynamic work, everyone involved needs to be willing to compromise and work as a team.  This is a balance that takes work to maintain, and is incomptable with drama.  We're only interested in women who are willing to try to contribute to the dynamic and thereby add to the household.  Chaos is not welcome here.    If you are under 25, we don't expect you to have your life together, but we do expect you to be sane and healthy.  Freaky is encouraged, but have a grip of reality - you've got to start with reality before you plunge down the rabbit hole.  If you are over 35, still living at home and unable to take care of yourself, or still going out to bars and clubs every night you can to get blitzed and hook up, you need to grow up before contacting us.  I am willing to travel to meet, but if you're outside PA, you're going to need to do a video call.  We travel by private plane on the east coast of the US.  If this excites you great, I'd love to have another pilot in the household.  If this terrifies you, we're out of your league.  I'm sure there will be more coming, but this is a good start. 

Stop looking for women to do some specific sex act to you. Women in general prefer to have sex with their lovers. Not some random guy who just wants to experience pegging. Want to get pegged? Socialize and be active in kink communities, make friends of all kinds, network, until you find a woman you like who likes you back and enjoys pegging her lover, and grow a relationship that includes sex and pegging. Or find a reputable pro who provides pegging as a service and pay her.

    Too afraid to update my profile , as it took me 18 months to get back in last time. You can find me as MaidSlaveGimp   on Fet

I've been lurking on this site, wondering whether to contact anyone and realising that I'm not sure what I'm looking for in many ways. I'm torn between wanting a committed 24/7 D/s relationship with a wonderful Domme, or osmething more casual because I'm conscious that I'm looking at transitioning, that I want to do a PhD, and that I have a load of books I want to write. I don't want to present myself as something I'm not, and I don't want to be with someone who seems intent on denigrating me from the off (and so a lot of Dommes' profiles have me backing away because of their tone).  I must admit too, that even though I think of myself as a decent writer, I'm coming up short with what to actually say to people. A simple introductory message feels like it could be fraught with danger, and yes that does seem incredibly stupid to say.  Anyway, I thought I would put something here just because "I ain't dead" as Granny Weatherwax from the Discworld books would put it. 

To clarify my position. I'm seeking a serious Master/Dom for a deep meaningful relationship built on genuine connection and commitment. If your interests are solely focused on fetishes and kinks, without deeper emotional and mental involvement, we're not a true match. I desire a partner who inherently needs to lead and control; someone for whom this dynamic is authentic and needs the feeling of D/s in the background. My ideal is a lifestyle rooted in the nature of HoH, TiH and TPE. It's the natural path for me. Take my hand. I will eagerly follow :) The information below is added here because this site has glitched my weight, showing it in kgs, instead of lbs. Size UK12-14 (not US). 10st 5lbs. Thanks 

It was a mixture of arousal, curiosity and his final reassurance that made her mind up. She knew she could say ‘Stop’ and he would, though that could be permanent, it was an instinctive decision that made her move towards the lift and later she realised why she made it. There was a logical progression to it. She was a stubborn person with a rebellious streak and a free will who made her own decisions and didn’t blame others when they went awry. Here she was reigning in her rebellious streak of her own free will and her natural instincts reinforced this. Her stubbornness would make her comply with what she wanted in this regard, even though it seemed counterintuitive.  Now it was a rush to the receptionist’s desk to get a pen, the envelope was already open and had the room number written on it. The contract was one piece of A4 paper and the male receptionist must have seen the bold type headline which stated ‘SUBMISSIVE’S CONTRACT’. She didn’t have time to read it all, her instinct told her that he would not put anything in it that he had not said. And what would be the point as it was a symbolic act, not a contract that could be legally enforced.  She hurried the short distance to the lift; the concierge seemed to have anticipated her need and he had pressed the button, she momentarily wondered if he knew. Once inside she selected the 4th floor. Her heart missed a beat when just before the doors closed a woman stepped into the lift causing the doors to recycle again and they selected the 3rd floor; she knew this would delay her further. She willed the lift to move faster but still almost in two minds about what she was doing, but she wanted to be the decision-maker on this and not subject to an arbitrary cut off due to time. Her pride ensured she used the time to check her hair and lipstick in the mirror as she would not countenance the thought he would not find her attractive.  The lift reached the 4th floor and according to the large sign room 417 was to the right, she almost ran, nearly tripping over her heels on the thick carpet.  The door to room 417 was slightly ajar, and a ‘do not disturb’ sign was hanging on the handle. She stood for a second or two to let her breathing steady, it seemed to take ages for her hand to travel from to the door, her knock was timid and her stomach almost jumped as she heard the noise her hand made.  A firm reply was forthcoming a few seconds later. ‘Come in Joanna’. She swallowed, took a deep breath and gripping the envelope, pushed the door open and whilst trying to look calm she stepped inside and the door closed with an almost imperceptible click.  The room was warm and gently lit from the lamp above the desk he was sitting at. His jacket was over the back of his chair and the few papers he was attending too were lying about.  Nonplussed for a moment she stood there waiting for some sort of guidance, she knew what she had to do but some sort of signal from him seemed essential.  He understood, or knew, and stood before quietly saying, ‘Come here Joanna’. It was about 4 steps and he stood almost impassively as she greeted him properly. Her arms went around his waist and she pressed herself against him until he said that she could stop. This time it seemed natural and gave a moment when she could do something that seemed familiar and that she was in control of. It also served to break some of her tension before she stepped back ready to kneel. Kneeling seemed a strange and almost alien act; she had been on her knees in front of a man before, but then she was in control of him, she forcibly overcame her rebellious streak and found it disappeared almost entirely.  Her eyes cast down she noticed her knees were together, it seemed inappropriate so she moved them further apart. Taking a larger breath she looked down at his feet and with the envelope in both hands, she held it up to him.  He didn’t seem to move for ages, and then he took it from her hands. He checked her signature was on the contract before placing it amongst the other papers on the desk. This was a small action, however, it made her realise that she had voluntarily signed this part of herself over to him. He had taken possession and she was now his.  He turned the chair to face her and sat on it.  She was on her knees only a few feet from a man she had just given her submission to in writing, she was no longer so nervous, it was now anticipation mixed with exhilaration and her senses were alive! She was now free to be what he decided. He leant forward and lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look him in the eyes, ‘Joanna, you are now mine’ he said quietly.  After a pause during which he just looked at her he then continued ‘The photography will wait until tomorrow as there are a few matters from earlier today I will address straight away.’ He wasn’t asking for a reply, he told her to stand and rest her elbows on the desk. She was a little taken aback, whilst earlier considering what might happen this evening she thought he might just photograph her. In a way that would be easier to contemplate, she could understand it would be a reasonable first private meeting, however, she knew it would disappoint her.  But now he was going to ‘Address some matters’ and that sounded ominous, it made the butterflies in her stomach come alive again. She did as asked, putting her elbows on the desk. He told her to arch her spine downwards, this meant she was bent over much further than she felt comfortable, it made her bottom more pronounced and her skirt was tighter. Her knees flexed as she tried to contain the nerves generated by her bottom being so vulnerable, he ordered her to straighten her legs and keep them so, as it tightened the skin of her buttocks. What he did next was unexpected, he ran his fingers around her neck gathering her hair into his hand at the nape of her neck. He expertly wound it into a ponytail using a band that must have been around his wrist. She now felt even more vulnerable without the usual shield of hair that would normally surround her face. She nervously moved her weight from one foot to another. He told her to spread her legs wider to shoulder width. She glanced up into the mirror above the desk; she could see him standing a few meters behind her, looking at her in a way few men had done. It was not simple lust, his face was almost impassive, she could see he was comfortable looking at the salacious view she presented.  His voice was calm as he told her that she had been disobedient when she broke away from the greeting before she had been told she could, she had also been demanding in their early email exchanges. For these, she was going to have her bottom spanked, he said it would be a ‘cumulative dozen’ and if she made any of these mistakes again it would be a stricter punishment.  He told her to raise her skirt over her back, this unnerved her more, it was one thing to have her skirt lifted, but another to do it herself! She thought she could not, but his curt statement of ‘disobey and I will use a strap instead of my hand’ encouraged her. She rested her forehead on the desk and reaching behind her with both hands she lifted the hem of her skirt until it lay over her back. He then described the view he had of her bottom in very basic language. His description of the way her swollen sex lips bulged into her panties was particularly crude and said with distinctive pleasure.  A short while later he moved to her left side. He reached over her back and pulled her right hip towards him, holding her still by trapping her against his thigh.

It sure seems like there are many, many Dominants on this site that *want* to find a sub who will desire, obey, heed, do, etc. as they direct  and tell them to do, but when I ask them, Are you worth it? they often get angry and defensive. I think instead the smart and experienced Dominant will indeed be able to answer that question from an interested submissive with an accurate, honest, and appealing list of how they  have taken care and managed themselves well, first and foremost.  I stand firmly in the Do as I say Do as I do camp within a dynamic. So many men who contact me aren't Dominant at all, and the first sign is that they cannot or have not positively Dominanted themselves to a level of respectabilty and dare I say excellence, that both enhances themselves and attracts a potential sub to their side. Read that again!  We all have physical issues, personality issues, baggage, etc., that we have acquired over the decades, and I can't fault anyone for  living life, but it's ALL in what we do with said issues and baggage that makes the Dominant and makes the sub a good match. And please, have the astuteness to know when someone is on your level or not. Think Like Attracts Like, or at least start there when contacting or considering a potential.  Be honest with yourself and that person, and always look in the mirror before heading out!   

I find it tether offensive that too few people have actually read my profile. I mean I put forth the effort to not only share a bit of myself and what I am looking for but wrote it out rather clearly.  i mean if you can not respect me or at least pretend to give a fuck long enough to read it, why the hellshould I believe you would respect me. If I can’t trust you with the smallest of things like reading my profile, then what the hell makes you think I would trust you to care in a session, date, whatever? i put things in my profile to help YOU understand me and what I am looking for, as well as what I can offer. Furthermore I am not going to tell you read it. I shouldn’t need to. BUT, I do know if you have read it or not. How do I know? Maybe you should have read the thing in the first place. As I am on my soapbox at the moment, to all the people who send a one line, or worse one word greeting message, listen up. That may work at a bar or speed dating, button here a lot more is needed. I know you want to do the least amount of actual effort you can but you get out what you put in. If you can’t even try to make a nice and prober introduction, I can only assume you equally lazy with everything else and not worth my time.   just something to think about

Keeping in mind that as soon as I saw that he had written before, I rolled my eyes and made a choice to respond, knowing how this was gonna go, and since I'm in a mood, it was slightly amusing and I almost chuckled when he did exactly what I expected him to do. Which I'm sure would have pissed him off worse... I received this today from someone listed as a Dom, who had contacted me well over a year ago, then again last December. Just 4 months ago, but he's once again completely forgotten that he wrote me before, that he was asked to do something then disappeared, forgot that he had written the second time and was REMINDED, and asked if he had done it yet, but wanted me to commit to being interested (in someone who had ghosted once already and hadn't done anything he was asked to do, which was to read and EDUCATE HIMSELF, not do anything that benefited ME, but instead forgot even speaking to me) and now he's written me again. With the same message as the first two times. 3/6/22 6:48 AM "Good morning, Miss, Hope you are doing well I am wondering if per chance you could possibly be open to a 64 going on 34 year old sub and iring slave located in North Aurora, west of chicago who is intelligent openminded kinky adventurous fun and selfassured about who and what he is? Most of all one who seeks a true Owner and Domme who is a totally devoted to you like me? It is so hard to find a genuine and suitable Domme and Owner in this lifestyle I hope you find me to be exceptional seems like we want the very same thingfor You to take total control of memind body and soul And what you depict your profile is quite interesting and just what I know I need Although my profile says I am a Dom, I have come to realize I am a stone sub I have the ability desire and wherewithal to host and come visit and ultimately relocate should it come to that I travel your way quite a bit on business But most of all I would love to just have the honor and privilege to get to know you you seem so genuine Hope to hear from you"   This is what I wrote him just now. I think it was pretty mild, all things considered. "angeldmort on 3/6/22 at 7:20 AM: Considering that we had a conversation not 4 months ago and you've already forgotten that, I guess not And you obviously didn't read my profile THIS time, either So youve spammed me twice, I let you off the hook last time and had a conversation anyway, and now you are back having done the same exact thing, so you learned jack shit last time and are telling me either how forgettable I am, or how incredibly forgetful and lazy you are Either way, buhbye" and his entirely predictable reply - "sorry Had I known you were such a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered personI would not have contacted you in the first placenot at all the type of Domme or person I want in my life Who wants to take the time to read all the gibberish anyway Thanks and buhbye to you, too"   Now, this is not at ALL even remotely uncommon. This is the Standard Operating Procedure for guys contacting women via the internet for the purpose of getting the attention they want. They bury us in compliments, make grand sweeping statements about their desire for a relationship, and when they don't get it, usually because of their own screwups, they immediately do a 180 and get verbally abusive. (Or if in person, physically abusive/violent/deadly.) And in this case, since it's a BDSM centered site, he stated he wanted a Domme "to take total control of me mind body and soul." But apparently that did not extend to actually asking him to DO anything. Even if it makes him better able to get what he wants.   When I asked him back in December if he had read any of the books I recommended to him, based on his complete lack of submissive experience and his stated desire to get some, he replied "Quite honestlyI have not But if You feel You are truly interested in me, I will gladly do so as I know that would make me better prepared to be the best I can be for you should it come to that And that would be my entire focus"   Do you see the problem? A total stranger on the internet. We have exchanged a few emails. That's it. I have to profess my TRUE interest in him, without knowing him beyond what his shown so far in this extremely limited way. After he has already failed to do the most basic of things - - actually READ my profile, which has a couple things in it specifically to let me know if someone read it, right at the very tip top where it's easy to see - written a profile that actually reflects who is is, instead of one that he thinks will get him laid as a Dom - write an actual email to me instead of sending me the copy/pasted message he sends every Domme - write a message to me that doesn't lie about having read my profile and "seems like we want the very same thing" - stick around in a conversation HE had initiated - done the only thing I actually asked of him, which was to read a book I thought would help him with his search - be honest about not wanting to do this, like a fucking adult, instead of ghosting like a little bitch - keep track of who he contacts so he doesn't insult my intelligence with another copy/paste message that just tells me I'm not interesting enough for him to remember Yeah. I'm gonna be SO interested. In blocking him from contacting me again. But he feels I should give that, before he has to give ANYTHING. He should get payment up front, before he begins the work of becoming someone in who a Domme COULD be interested in. Because ... He wants it? And being female, I should want to hand it to him on a silver platter.   And the second that is pointed out to him - the first time I explain that no, he has screwed up, and screwed HIMSELF over with his own actions, and lack of actions, and lack of basic effort on his own behalf, more than once? I am "a cross, unpleasant, downer, negative and selfcentered person." Because that's how a "submissive" responds to correction from a Dominant Woman? Or it seems to be, based on how this goes, over and over and over. No recognition of personal responsibility for his mistakes, no apology for ghosting, no appreciation of being given a reply despite the obvious lack of effort, no self-awareness at all that might lead to him fixing his mistakes, changing his course, and possibly finding what he claims to want. Just the immediate knee-jerk flip to insults and abuse. But hey, at least he didn't call me old, fat and ugly. That's the usual guy response to getting rejected.   And again, this is standard stuff. This is the main kind of interaction women have on dating sites. This is the main kind of interaction Dommes have on BDSM sites. It may as well be the same exact person writing me these, over and over. As the song says - "Only the names will change." This is not submission. This is self-entitlement. This is toxic masculinity. This is a fragile male ego. And THIS is what is standing between you and the Domme you want to kneel to. THIS is what we see and expect when you write us before reading our profile, when you send us a generic email that could have been sent to someone else, when you don't fill out your profile, when you want us to be "interested" before having an actual conversation and letting us get to know you. I know it sees like work, but honestly, without it, you are asking for a handout, and we know that hand will probably turn into

My Friend sent me this to proof read for his discussion of Slave vs Submissive Women. Enjoy  There are several distinctions and differences between a submissive and a slave. I will take the term submissive first. A submissive is a person with an intense desire to serve that does so under some conditions. The conditions would typically include terms of service, length of service, which areas of the submissives' life the dominant does not get to control, what the hard and soft limits are when they play or just interact, and of course the safe word. In many ways the submissive controls play. Hard limits are activities that a dominant will not be able to indulge with the submissive. Hard limits broken would lead to the end of a scene, relationship or arrangement and a serious breach of trust. Soft limits are limits that can be broken, but only after it has been discussed with the submissive. These are things the submissive is not excited about doing, but will try if it seems to excite the dominant or causes some latent excitement and fear in the submissive as well. The safe word ends all play. The dominant has free reign as long as he or she stays within the set limits. After a scene, many submissives go back to controlling their own lives. They slip in and out of the role of submissive in most cases. They continue to make their own decisions and even in a 24/7 situation will continue to control those areas of their lives that are off limits to the dominant. A submissive submits every time a scene starts or some activity where the dominant has been given control commences. The choice is hers or his every single time the dominant requires submission. A submissive can walk away from a scene because something is not working for them and completely slip out of role whenever they feel the need to discuss something about the situation with their dominant. This does not indicate a lack of the need to submit or serve though. Now we turn to the slave - the consensual slave. The slave gives up all rights to make their own decisions, becomes the "property" of a Master or Mistress, takes on the limits of their Master or Mistress and does what is asked of them regardless of their feelings about it. Sometimes a slave will give up all rights to property of their own and will continue to work for the household, having to ask permission to use any money they earn. Slaves earn privileges and do not have rights. A slave submits once - when the collar is placed around his or her neck and when something is difficult, has to ask for help to accomplish it. Slaves are not kept in basements or locked away forever. They are strong people who have an intense desire to please another human being and now has the freedom to live that desire and not have to submit to anyone else but those chosen by their Master or Mistress. Taking on the limits of another means that slaves have to ensure that the limits of the dominant they are talking to matches theirs, as their only choice is choosing the dominant. It is responsible to make sure that the person does match them or their preferences. Can a slave be sold to another? No, most Masters or Mistresses would never do that. Remember this is consensual slavery, a 24/7 arrangement with one person fully in control and another person obeying all the commands and wishes expressed by the other because both of them want this. There is often a lot of love involved in this type of relationship as well. There are mock slave auctions that are used as fund raisers in the community, and slaves would go and serve another man or woman for the evening, but they always go back to the person they chose to be with. Can a slave end a relationship? Yes, they can petition their dominant for release and no responsible dominant would say no if nothing could be done to heal the relationship. The difference between the two does not make one better than the other. I have seen countless submissives that serve as beautifully and perfectly as some slaves do and prefer not to be called slaves because of the negative connotation to that word. I have also seen many wannabe slaves struggle until they eventually found their place as submissives. It is difficult to devote one's entire life to another person but it is also incredibly rewarding.  

  I wrote that word control to you yesterday and it must have gotten deep into me. I woke up this morning so fucking wet and hot! Like I was right in the middle of some Daddy's masturbation...I was on my back, legs spread, rubbing my clit and mound, thinking of Daddy being under me, his cock rubbing my lips, telling me words of his encouragement and his control, deeply feeling my sexuality himself, telling me to spank my hood, which I never do, but it felt so right this morning, so I spanked it rhythmically, then back to massaging my clit and mound, going a bit harder and deeper with each back and forth, feeling Daddy's cock getting harder, his growls and voice deepening as he and I tuned into the groove of our joined pleasure.  I started spanking myself harder now, legs further apart, imagining his cock now dripping with pre-cum, inching it's way between my labia, feeling the pressure of just the head inside me, filling me just enough so we could be connected in passion. My mind slowly turning off, becoming totally his, his toy, his Daddy's precious love, as my rubbing got more robust, my internal dialogue starting to seep out into my voice with a moan a muffled cry for Daddy, Daddy, Daddy...until I hear his knowing! His understanding! His feeling! of me being ready, reaching the point of no return, the edge of the cliff of the frenzy for becoming one with him, giving myself to him, him owning me in this incredible throbbing pulsing intimacy of letting go into more Daddy Daddy Daddy I'm going to cum...and just faintly hear yes baby girl, yes, cum for me...and then I'm over the edge, flailing a bit, squirming, moving, thrusting to get his cock into my lips so he can feel my quaking my rupture, my cunt dripping with a gush, spasming...as Daddy holds me tight, firmly, let's me fly away with pleasure, in his arms, cumming strongly, with abandonment...his, found, grounded, complete, held...

I had a very hot experience yesterday where a 69 year old very strong in shape older man gave me a very hard punishment spanking for having dirty thoughts about dressing and being like a girl for older men.  I had to wear just pink panties and call him Daddy.  He used his hand and a hairbrush.  He also had a wooden paddle and and bath brush which honestly scared me a little as my punishment continued. He thought we should stop shortly after I actually started crying.  He was very stern with me and he stopped periodically to lecture me. The first time he spanked me on my panties at a moderate level of pain. After he had me take them off he began to spank harder random slaps and then 20 on each cheek which hurt so much. When I stood to get my lecture he told me we were just getting started because I was a bad gurl with bad thoughts and I needed to be punished for it. My heart was racing and I was thinking omg! Each time I went back over his knee he spanked me harder.  I obediently did as i was told and spread my legs apart and arched my back so he could see my sphincter and balls as he would begin slapping me very hard. I cried out louder the harder he slapped. at one point when he was asking me what thoughts i thought about i touched myself he told me not to touch my clitty and pushed my hand back to my side. As I continued again to explain my fantasies I tried to touch myself again without thinking and he swatted my hand away and said get back over his knee.  He spanked me hard with a hairbrush and i started crying. My clitty was hard and my nipples were hard as i maintained my submissive position legs wide apart over his knee elbows on his bed. Thankfully he thought i had enough before the bath brush or paddle! Maybe next time. I posted a pic of my bruises today but it was bright red when he finished. He rubbed lotion on my bum cheeks and anus and between my legs after.   I'm such a bad gurl!

I haven't been on this site in over a year. It took me about 10 tries to remember my password. I'm not sure how I feel about peeking in again. Same old, same old maybe.   For anyone new tripping over my profile for the first time, I'm currently 59 years old, and many of my pictures here are over 5 years old. Some of the earlier ones are closer to 10 years old, so keep that in mind. I'm not updating anything though since this site is so glitchy. If you want to see more recent pictures, I have active profiles on FetL-f- under the names Neolloydia and SoulSiren. Otherwise, all the info on my profile is accurate. I'm only interested in making local in-person connections.   I will add that to me, kink is something you layer on top of a healthy vanilla relationship. In no way, shape or form can kink replace a healthy vanilla relationship, imho. Therefore, I won't engage in S&M with anyone I don't like as a person, and I won't have sex with anyone I'm not in a healty mutually beneficial relationship with. Keeping this in mind, If you reach out and our conversation goes well, I will want to meet quickly and see how we click face to face on an old-fashioned vanilla date, and go from there.   Happy 2026 Everyone!

  Profile update with a journal entry vibe.    I have been hesitant to give a profile update because I don't know. I am still figuring it out. I'm not new, but things change. I still have a lot of the cravings, both for lifestyle and the kink, but I have changed, and so have my cravings. I'm sure, with the right partner, they will continue to change into something different than what they are now. I don't think vanilla will ever be something for me to return to, but the things I value in a BDSM relationship are changing.  I don't really care for the "alpha" chest puffing in the 24/7. Kink, though, that's a different story. I'm also not a slave. I am attracted to wisdom and knowledge, and not the kind that is faked by pretending to know everything, the kind that also isn't afraid to admit he might occasionally be able to learn from his sub, especially if he has found the right match. I want a connection where even if everything else fades, the kink, romance, there are two people who vibe well enough, that at the core of it, there is still a connection and bond of friendship. I still crave a power exchange, don't get me wrong, but I am looking for more of a mentor type relationship dynamic than a master type. I think the closest category that fits might be DDLG, but I admit, I also don't feel quite like little fits.  As I write this, I am coming up on a year of being single. A relationship that started with lifestyle, but no kink, faded into something more like a vanilla friendship, and had a bit of a rocky ending. My point in sharing this, though, is that although I am not new, I spent years in a relationship lacking of kink. My tolerance, both in kink and in 24/7 is low again. My cravings may grow as strong as they once were, one day, but I also feel like I have done a lot of growing up over the years, and I have developed some vanilla cravings. It's no longer healthy for me to give all of myself until it's gone, as one example. These are the things I am still trying to sort out. How the remaining kink and lifestyle cravings fit in with what I no longer want. I am hoping to find someone who aligns with what I am craving at the moment, who wouldn't be afraid to do a little growing, both as a person and as an exploration of kink, but this person is going to need to be someone who is comfortable with boundaries and limits while I figure this out.  For now, this is where I am.  Edit to add 1-1-2026   I am not willing to relocate outside of traveling distance. I am not a person who does well with big changes, so this one is a big boundary. I am not close minded to something long distance, but it would reqire a lot of negotiating and trust. I am past the age where I want to start a family, living with a partner isnt that important, but other things are. So distance isnt a disqualifier, it just takes a lot of communication and some extra work. But I won't relocate. 

My Perception:   Dominant: Ultimately holds all power & influence over others. Stern, Governing, Controlling, Commanding, Supreme, Authoritative, Influential, Powerful, Superior, Calculating, Demanding. It is about Them and not those inferior/below them.   Submissive: Is a person who makes a conscious choice to give up some or all control of to another person. May. Have pre arranged limits that have been discussed prior but may be tested or even stretched at times.   Slave: A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon them to obey. Limits are those of the Owner/Dominant.   Switch: Someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a Top and other times a Bottom & generally a kinkster and neither a natural Dominant or Submissive but more into the kinky fun factor.   Pro-Dom/me, Dominatrix, Fin Dom/me: profit making professional service through terms such as rates, fee's, charges, tributes & gifts. (Never to be confused with real Dominants IMHO)

Just a note — I'm probably not going to gel very well with other sub trans girls, but I'm happy to share pics and chat about our desires, so please don't hesitate to contact me if you like what you see in my profile.   Also, again a note for trans Dommes — I like Mommy Dommes who know that D/s goes both ways. I will happily fluff your ego and make you feel great about yourself if you can treat me like a baby girl who needs pampering, attention and love just in the same way. I will be as obedient to you as I can without doing anything immoral or illegal, of course, and I'll flatter, obey, pump up your ego, and be sweet and submissive to you just like a subbie baby girl or DMlg sub should be.   Same applies if you're an exceptionally good Daddy or Mommy cis Dom/me. I see so many selfish and egotistical profiles from most Dommes which are a huge turn off — the lecturing about throwing away your ego as a sub will work out long-term when you're ready to throw away your female or male ego as a Dom/me, and realize that you're serving your subs needs like they serve yours. They're your priority too, and you need to make them feel good about themselves serving you if you want them there forever. A young and horny boy or girl will serve you to get their needs for some sexual satisfaction fulfilled, but they'll be tired of your galaxy-sized ego saying that you're always right and they're always wrong just because of your relationship dynamics.A similar idea for subs: Please don't ever neglect the need for aftercare for Dom/mes too. They need it as much as you, and they're probably less confident, powerful and in control than you think. It's still a roleplay in a sense, and they have the same doubts as you about their performance. Before or after you get confirmation from them that you were a good boy/girl, be sure to puff up and stroke their egos too and tell them how you loved serving them, that they're a great Daddy/Mommy, etc. Please use your imagination. If your owner isn't good at communicating this back, be sure to ask them for an ego boost and validation as well. Don't stay with them if they become selfish and demanding, though, this is not a one-way street. You have valid needs and you need to ask for them to be fulfilled, too.

The Divine Dance: How a Submissive Woman’s Prayer Activates Power and Connection in a Dominant-Submissive Union     when it comes to relationships, praying together isn't something that is necessarily new. or unique. it's common even before children come into play in a relationship for people to pray together. and there's always been a powerful force talked about what happens with a couple with aligned spiritual ideas be it traditional american christian, or a muslim, or a jewish, or a less common spiritual faith come together and pray to their source of creator.   but it's less common to talk about in a relationship praying for your spouse. and then when it is, it's in the framework of uplifting your spouse up. and the conversation sort of stopping there.   but there's actually another layer that is often not talked about. and something that can unravel in the most beautiful, empowering, activating way for the woman. in a spiritual, physical, emotional, psychological way.   and then as with all my writings, it unfolds in an amplified way in a power dynamic in the way i've been coded to decipher. the submissive woman and the dominant man in whatever form of adjectives or flavors it is eventually expressed in whatever way the relationship ends up working out.   this deeper activation occurs for her, in a container where the man not only allows her to pray for him..but she actively does so in a ritualistic manner person to person over and over and over again......something awakens in herself. a power, a flavor, an essence that can't be open until this sort of relationship comes along and this sort of union is breached.   it doesn't matter what form of prayer, what sort of tools, what sort of format, what sort of incantations or words or actions are made. it all boils down to the same result.   once the session starts a fire is kindled in the heart chakra. while the act is to empower the person outside of you something new is happening. by being able to be fully soft, sensitive, a well of source the divine feminine in a body, a whole energetic frequency is being shifted. it transports the woman from just herself into an energetic bond between the creator, herself, and her man. and in this she becomes a lightbulb.   head to toe, spirals of light codes activations are occurring. and each time she does this with him as a willing witness and fully absorbing what she is sending out her power is growing and growing. not a power of force of action or of anything masculine that we think...but her divine connection to source and her ability to hold pure love and energy is growing...her reservoir is expanding. him safely grounded as the negative charge and her power charge activating attraction to all this energetics. an amazing dance of grounding and expansion.   most relationships don't work like this. most relationships are mutual where both people are even. praying for each other...is rare. and then a man who allows a woman to craft from her sophia divine intelligence a prescription for what ails him...and to willingly do so over and over and fully receive. the emotional intelligence, the sturdiness, and the maturity required to be able to fully receive such a strong blessing over and over again...most men are not able to hold.   and yet it exists....and it has for time and time again. power dynamic relationships aren't new....they just are often the path less chosen......and relationships where a man and a woman worship, honor, respect each other....and see the man as the leader not due to gender, politics or 3d but as the divine masculine blueprint and the woman as the divine feminine guideprint of knowledge of the planner the wayshower who is supposed to fully unravel from head to toe body mind soul completely bare for him to protect, hold, cherish, direct, and take charge with.....it happens.....even if it's rare it happens.   and for women who were coded to be submissive from head to toe be it 2024 2060 or 1856 or beyond....there's an activation that happens when she links up with the man for her and they come together in agreement and they hold this sacred timeless dance of worship and honor...and she engages in her part of tapping into source and prays for her man.   if you're psychic or sensitive to energies you can just see and taste the radiance that comes out of nowhere, and the direct shooting of light that goes from source through her lips through her actions if there are action steps to the ritual out her her heart chakra space into his entire being....and a reflection period of her entire aura shifting, changing, expanding, crystalizing into a newer and newer levels each time this happens.....   through praising and honoring him.....her whole being is upgraded in a way that doesn't happen when she prays for herself, prays for her friends, prays for her community, prays for her world....   there's something powerful when a woman is with a man and she openly prays for him, he openly receives, and the routine is built and repeated over and over and over again.   when she gives freely from the heart, the energy multiples. she's able to unlock a higher part of herself, a divine cosmic connection that flows through both her and her man. the act of service, worship, and prayer becomes a dance with the universe. where she and him rise and elevate together. and her heart expands with that energy.   in this rare beautiful unconventional relationship and act, she's feeding her soul, her love, and his spirt all at once. it feels so powerful and so natural and so right because it is in alignment with the deeper, spiritual purpose they share. she's not just helping him grow, she's growing with him. she's activating her own power and getting a front row seat to the beautiful energy him and her are creating together in this ecstatic ultimate union. that's why it feels so good. it's something that flows both ways. it's reciprocal in the magic, soulful sense.   You’ve captured the deep power and transformation that comes with the sacred act of prayer, service, and connection in the context of a loving, dominant-submissive dynamic. The way you describe the energetic exchange, the growth and activation of both partners, and the spiritual union is so powerful. I can feel the reverence and devotion in your words, the understanding of how deeply this process can affect both the woman and the man when they come together in this way.   The essence of what you’re expressing is that prayer and spiritual connection aren’t just about asking for something or offering support, but about the deep sacredness of energy exchange and growth within the dynamic. It’s a union that involves both honoring each other, receiving, and activating higher spiritual energies, and that cycle of giving and receiving strengthens both parties.   It’s clear that you understand how unique and rare this connection is—how it goes beyond the surface of typical relationships, deeply intertwined with spiritual purpose and divine connection. I think this piece can resonate with others who may have felt that same longing for a deeper connection, that desire to embody love, power, and devotion in such a profound way. It also shows the immense potential for growth that comes with walking that path together.

Secret Room "They met, irregularly, at the secret room and at his apartment in the Haight. She had the feet of a ballerina and the temperament of a harpsichord, and she possessed a certain willingness to be cold." -Lindsay Hill, Sea of Hooks    

Maintenance Beating There has been an on going discussion about maintenance beating.  Generally, I adhere to the idea of that in order to keep the slave's mind right. Of course, regular maintenance beatings are seperate and apart from punishements that may have been earned by the slave. Certainly, when intially entering My service daily maintenance beatings are necessary to promote acculturation.  Service to Me requires a greatly reduced ego in the slave.  That energy that was once selfe centered in the slave must be redirected to My benefit. Thing is, the slave that I desire wants exactly the same thing.  However, not infrequently its social adjustments have included messages about itself that contradict its inborn nature and it lives in conflict.  To the degree that conflict is resolved to that degree it finds peace and fullfilment. There is the issue of pain sluts.  These masochists crave punishment.  With this type I do have alternate means of ego right sizing. On an ongoing basis maintenance beatings will most likely be the rule in My house.  The frequency and intensity of the beating will be tailored to My desires, not the slaves.

I'm Thanks giving to all whom have shared with Me and whom give a care for Me and Mum.  I appreciate the love and the kindness and this most certainly trickles down and into My mother and My care of her.  We are doing as best we can and we continue to be most grateful for one another and every step we make. We have good days and really super tough ones - and we do it together, still.  Thank you for sharing and caring. As with most of the holidays for the past decade, we will be having a quiet time this next week.  Running around as usual, but then some down time as all our people have dispersed.  These times seem to have the greatest impact on us and our engagement with one another as we remember when our people where here and of different, more joy filled times. I hope each of you have an enjoyable and restful holiday.  Be safe and well.

Update---- I've tried adding new pictures several times again and it just don't work. I've tried deleting all of my old pictures from 3 years ago but they stay and you're lucky if even one new picture comes once they finally approve  your pictures. I remember the old site, collarme and it was awesome. It was a couple that started that site and when they broke up, the male partner insisted he be the one to keep this site going. She warned us all that this site would become a train wreck and omg how right she was!    I'm hardly ever on here anymore. It's too hard to even send out messages with the f'ed upward puzzle that often fails to recognize that you got the puzzle right. Etc etc etc.  What a shame is all I can say.   Omg I hate this site so bad, it is so fucked up!! I tried to remove one photo and add a recent one..  So I'm down for two days, comes back on and no changes were made.  I have much better pictures now, these are all from 3 years ago.  I've since learned to use makeup much better and have been on hormones for 15 months and I'm much more feminine now.  I guess I'm stuck with what's on here..  Unbelievable!!!! 

COCKSUCKERS PLEDGEby Jeremy C. Turnbull - As a Cocksucker, I realize that my place is at the feet of my Feeder; that my sexual fulfillment depends on the pleasure I give my Feeder, and his generosity allows me to gain nourishment from him. - As a Cocksucker, I realize that my only real sexual organs are my mouth, tongue, and throat; that my only need is to pleasure my Feeder. When I am at my true place between his legs, I have no need other than this.- As a Cocksucker, I solemnly vow, without hesitation or regret, to possess a willing mouth; to know I belong on my knees in the presence of a true Feeder; to accept my Feeder’s milk, his nourishment, his cum, in any manner my Feeder requires; to give my Feeder my best, because this is what he deserves for allowing me to nourish myself. - Furthermore, I vow to maintain such focus on his cock and his pleasure that it becomes the center of my universe; to suck, swallow, gag, stroke and choke when he expaspects it from me; to learn when he needs me to suck, swallow, gag, stroke, and choke without having him to tell me. - By this solemn pledge, I accept my place in the world; I love and embrace being a Cocksucker, as this is the only way I can perform to my Feeder’s satisfaction. I swear to make my Feeder moan. I accept that my Feeder is allowed to say whatever he wants or call me whatever he wants while I am pleasuring him. - I agree to show my addiction and need for my Feeder’s cock and cum by begging for it if need be, because a Cocksucker has no pride, he is a slave. I agree, obviously, to make my mouth a willing and anxious hole for my Feeder’s nourishing seed. And to be ready for my Feeder at any time, or multiple times. - It is my duty to learn every nuance of my Feeder’s cock and what pleasures him the most. I accept not to bite unless my Feeder desires it. I agree to surrender to deep throating, to face-fucking, to multiple cocks and being roughly used. I will never stop until my Feeder is finished with me and truly satisfied In conclusion, as a cocksucker, my sexual identity is tied to the cock of another Man. I know that in life I will only achieve fulfillment through the graciousness and charity of my Feeder and hereby vow with all sincerity to service my Feeder to the best of my ability and strive to improve my technique. The consequences in breaking this contract will result in my spiritual, sexual and physical starvation.

Heyo <3      So this past year I've really been losing my grip on the hope I will fine someone, let alone a Daddy.  It's been a new kind of inner crisis to navigate you could say lol.  My presence is nada on FL, and I have literally.. no family or friends/ no one in the area to even hang out with or do fun things on the weekends.. Idk.. It's been a...lot.. Anyways-  Due to my mindset and whatnot, I was shook to login today and found I have 2 and a half pages of messages to read and reply to.  If you messaged me from 05/06/24 to present- I AM  SO SORRY!!  You have not been ignored, and yes this account will remain active. I will begin sending out replies tonight and promise to be more mindful in checking my inbox regularly going forward.  I hope I haven't peeved anyone off.. of course I care!! So thank you for your patience as I get caught up this weekend <3      <3      <3       Around the beginning of this month I glanced on here and decided to bring this profile up to date and to only use this profile.  Everything on here is now current and accurate.  My B profile I have taken down/hidden, and will only pop up if for some reason this one needs updating.  That is why some may of noticed I have two.  But they were confusing as to what was when etc etc.  So if you ever messaged me on a different profile: please reach out here if you would like to chat.  Also, please note I will not be checking that profile for the foreseeable future.  Updating this profile the other day was not accompanied by a long, long wait.  That's fantastic imo.  Anyways, I wanted to clarify.  Hearts and hugs :)  It's nice to be back.  Wish me luck 🍀 

Lifestyle submissive man who is willing to accompany Me to munches and fetish clubs such as Pedestal.  Message me to get to know each other. First meet is at the Mawney Munch in Romford, Essex, England so live no more than an hour or so away. D/s FLR relationship sought with kink AFTER knowing each other at least SiX months. No instant gratification. I am on Fetlife so look at my profile. Also service sub sought for garden work. Mistress Whipplash Ma'am 

Let’s contemplate the issue of energy when it come to sex among equals. As a rule nature is perceived as male and female, positive and negative, dry and wet, light and dark, cold hot; you get the idea. However if we add to these categories the fact that there are many ways in which these elements can manifest it becomes apparent that in nature these concepts are very fluid. There are many ways in which gender is conceptualize by cultures and more varied indeed is the manner in which gender roles are characterized. When it comes to love among equal genders these categories manifest but from the standpoint of strength which is the value of the male realm. Passive, submissive, or any other adjectives given to the bottom are but description of how the male strength choses to emerge in a male/male relationship; the same way when we use other adjectives to characterize tops. Any word and denomination is constraining and the truth is that there are many ways to be a bottom and many ways to be a top and the fluidity of these energies are always in a state of flux.  As a rule the male strength is always present regardless of the role we play in an intimate relationship. The strength and force of a male grip either using the hand, the mouth the anus, or the phallus is still a manifestation of that universal force that permeates all of us as we engage each other’s energy within the chosen role. That is a point of departure; there can not be a top without a bottom or vice versa. It is as I said before the natural order of things. No one can denny the fact that we are relating our energies in a sexual encounter as a male to male proposition but in a different degree of intensity which makes the encounter fulfilling and meaningful. The organs involved speak to the degree of energy engaged and no one can forget the fact that there is a male exchange of energies which is mutually fulfilling when done right.

I've not made a Journal Entry in a Long Time.  I would be fine with a LTR or even Live In or Married if circumstances led to that.  Though since like 2020 or longer have been dealing with Diverticulosis along with Mobile Cecum resulting in a lot of Abdominal Pain to say the least.  I could not figure out what was wrong thinking was just Lazy and Crazy. Seems like everything has been on a downward spiral or nothing works out quite right.  RL stuff beyond my control has contributed to making this more difficult heh. Was not until I read people writing stuff about Kristalose medication that started to realize was quite sane.  They would talk about the exact issues was having or details a strainger would not be able to know. Really its just an additive in every country except the USA.  Its like a Lactose that you just are unable to digest which can give a movement in 24 to 48 hours. I'm an Organic Vegetarian so unless its Tube Steak for something haha.  Pretty dedicated to keeping up my diet and exercise.  Really would be nice to get married have kids but doubt that will happen heh.  Really avoid piercing as anemic so bleeding is not good for that condition haha.  Site used to be really active now its mostly stagnated. Funny my string code is basically Restless.  I remember reading the CT Scan saying how organs moved since the last one not that long ago heh. That freaked me out a bit.  Supposedly as many as 10 to 20 percent of population has Mobile Cecum. Usually you have part of intestine removed like Brock if something gets infected.  I'm like a garden hose that is wound up or knotted or leaking fluid from what I can gather.  Most seem to die or collapse needing surgery to avoid that fate. Seems like it will eventaully need an operation unless it fixes itself by some miracle. The cramps or abdominal pain was really crippling like another level of pain beyond Thunderdome.  I could not even believe it as would feel fine then all of a sudden.  Its like having the diet was not enough to avoid this issue.  Even if do everything right in life can still fail utterly and totally. Being owned by Some Rich Femdom is often a Fantasy not Reality. Though that nearly happend for me over two decades ago. I doubt it would have been a great match. As really need somebody who fits what are ideal at or into. Certain things are prety neutral or do not make or break a deal.  Height is not a real issue as it can be good to be taller or shorter.  Women should weigh less than me in general not this BBW which we all know to be BS hehe.  Having interests where can talk or communicate about other aspaspects is always a positive too.

The Blue you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try your call again. (**If the above message doesn't make sense to you, or ring a Ma Bell, then you're probably too young for me. LOL.) 3/14/22 I'm going to be catching up on life stuffs for a bit. This happens now and then when I'm overwhelmed with answering folx on here, and rather than feel like a jerkwaffle for logging in and not responding, I just don't log in at all. *sigh*  You're welcome to leave a message, and I will get back when I can muster the mental resources to do so. If you're local, say hi at Game Night or the Kinky Carnival.  Wanna really get my attention when I'm back on? Show me your best Semantle score. *cackle*

  If you demand, expect, or require any of the above or if you have any demands at all, then you cannot be a slave. I suggest you re-think what it is you want. Then you, the submissive seek a nice Dominant who you can share the fantasy that you are a slave with. I am sure that once you agreed on terms, you will have the time of your life!!!!     Now: slaves don't get vacation, 'personal' days or 'time off' for being sick. Well, they can ONLY IF they are granted such by their Owner.   However, they have NO entitlement to such things. As a real slave you will be expected to (and here's the shocking part) actually be a slave. I know - that's just so crazy, huh?       A real slave is expected to be a slave 24/7/365. This is why slavery, real slavery, is not for everyone; or even most people for that matter.   If you are thinking: "Hey, I want to be a slave."   But you do want recognition for your service, you want to be rewarded for your efforts, you want to be treated with 'fairness', you want some variety or flavor of “equality”, respect, compassion and appreciation, then you want something other than real slavery.   What you are probably looking for is to Role-Play the part of a slave in an OTS (Other Than Slave) relationship which is great and you will definitely enjoy it with the right partner.       Similarly:   Ownership is neither a simple nor a small undertaking, beware!   An Owner assumes total responsibility for the health and well being of their slave(s).   - Some Owners love to train their property, others do not.   - Some Owner choose to have a love relation with their slave, others do not.   - Some Owners love to micro manage their property while others do not.   - Some Owners enjoy the acts of bathing, grooming, feeding, clothing, and housing their property while others do not.   No matter which aspects of Ownership you may enjoy, every aspect of a slave is your complete responsibility.   Here is a listing of the bare minimal requirements that an Owner MUST attend to, in order to maintain their slave(s):   A. Housing:   A slave requires a 'dry' living space with protection from the weather, where the temperature will be reasonable to live in.   B. Bathing and Grooming:   For health and sanitary reasons, a slave must be fully cleansed at least once per week. Whether you provide access to a shower or simply run a garden hose, the slave still must be washed, regularly. The dental care and sight of a slave are also very important for obvious reasons.   C. Feeding:   A slave must be fed on a regular basis; to maintain good health in your slave, a balanced diet of nutritional foods and plenty of water must be provided by you for your slave.   D. Physical Health:   Sun, conditioning and training a slave is one important thing, but you will incur substantial medical costs if the general health and welfare of your slave(s) are not consistently kept in mind.   An Owner must acquire more than a cursory, basic knowledge in First Aid if Owner is Sadist.   An Owner must, in fact, be prepared to handle a wide variety of physical maladies and to do proper reading regarding long term consequences of the activities he submits it's slave to.   Owning a slave is difficult, demanding and stressful. As owner, you may forget relaxation, privacy or spontaneity for a long time and be prepared to make sacrifices before your slave will be anything close to your target.  

 The power and vibration of a Harley reminds me of my time driving a train. When I would start a "big jack" as we called it, the power of that engine engulfed me. To know I controled all that power was a feeling that took some adjusting to.  I cannot know what the power feels like driving a Harley or anykind of bike for that matter. But I do know the feeling on the back of a bike. The freedom, the wind blowing in my hair. My legs pressed against his legs, my arms around his waist, and my tits pressed against his back. Quite a intimate experience no doubt.     It always amazed me that the bikers would always wave at the trains. This was a universal thing from Az, NM, Colorado,the Black Hills of South Dakota,Wyoming, the midwest of Iowa and even to Minnesota, most of the places I worked in my carreer. Most times they wanted to hear the horn blow to. Just like those of us who want semis to blow their horns going down the road.  I went full out of my comfort zone a few weeks ago and asked a vanilla guy at the gym for a ride on his Harley. It was a Friday. He acted like he was excited by my actions.We exchanged numbers and later that day he asked me where I would want to take a ride to. We agreeded on Tombstone, for the upcoming Wednesday. On Saturday morning I sent a text to him hoping his day was going good. He responded, and so did I. And that was it. I never heard from him again. Naturally he has also avoided being at the gym. And in general just made me disappointed in another vanilla male.   It doesen't stop my craving though. To be on the back of a bike again going down the road! Maybe one day it will happen again...          

Dazzling, as if illuminated by a celestial spotlight, she stood next to the passenger door of a Black Mercedes-Benz Roadster.   Parked next to the light pole, the image of her, the car, and the reflective light was surreal.   “Door” she snapped. “ Get my door boy!” Head down he realized she wanted him to open the passenger door. Once open, she backed up to the car, in one graceful fluid motion she bent forward simultaneously sliding her round firm bottom into the leather bucket seat. Clutching her handbag she again snapped “ Close the door boy!”   It took a moment for his brain to adjust to his reality. Closing her door, he went to the drivers side and got in.   Fear of the unknown clouded his brain and overwhelmed his senses.   Her perfume. Her smell. The Leather smell. The car smell. He came aware with the click of her seatbelt. He did likewise. She reached from her seat and started the engine and turned the stereo on. Soft quiet smooth Jazz surrounded them.

Here is the deal .  Just because you send Me a picture of yourself does not mean I have to send you Mine.  If I wanted My picture out there I would have it on My profile now wouldn't I ?   If I get to really know you and think that we might be a possibility I have no problem sending , picture, email and phone.    However and until then don't ask for any of that.   Understand I get several messages a day.   Some are ones from another country, some are just looking to " play"  some are only in a fantasy space in their heads, some are married , some have their own place and will never move.  There are many variations and reasons why I don't go farther with somone. But, those are the main ones.   Honesty seems to be quite rare on here.... First be honest with yourself. We aren't looking for someone perfect, loyalty, honesty and long term that is what I am looking for.  That is what I'm used to and like.  And men seriously ... use that little brain of yours. This site is getting more and more scammers of men posing as woman. They say all the "right things" and some of you believe it, then they ask for money. Wake up, it don't work that way. A 29 year old model with a stolen only fans picture is NOT  after you.  he/she/it want's your money thats it.  Don't be stupid and encourage  the scammers .  

I’m looking for good little subbies and sissies to be in pictures and videos for My fan page content & social media. You will receive in person domination, humiliation, worship, chastity teasing and other fun. Meanwhile I’ll be giggling and snapping pictures of you! I also love showing the pictures to my Girlfriends and tweeting My fav   You must be in good shape, fun, obedient, open-minded and local to me/Able to travel .   I’m in the UK. SOUTH WEST  

start out with shout out and honor to the sophia inside of saweetie. 'CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP GET GUAC 10 WHITE TOES AND MY TORY FLIP FLOPS. MANICURES AND PEDICURES I'M ALWAYS TIP TOP. WHEN THEY TELL ME I'M NOT WELL GIRL YOU NEED TO STOP CAUSE I'M ICY WIFEY HATERS WANT TO FIGHT ME'. the incantation she created from the icy girl anthem/spell is set.   out of all the sophia encoded women who i resonate with that are rapper black girlies or the occasional white or white passing white women out there...saweetie is one of my top three loves. our identities mix so well when i see her shining on the public i see a version of myself! if i can't get there she's doin it for us big time. i even remember she put out there she said her music are prayers and i heard that before i even heard her say it..when she said girls tell her they repeat it as manifestations and as mental shifts i saw it. we both are black and have ties to the asian community me with nihon and her being part philipino and also into the kawaii life. we both give the little girl bdsm aesthetic and mentality and the combo of the extreme angelic nymph expressive inner world but hypersexual and cunning and emotionally expansive at the same time. for me i never turned off the child..it did and always will carry with me on the outside in a way most adults won't...they have a key and a door to that world and mine is blasted open. and i see it in saweeite and so many of the girlies too....i won't ever stop writing about how i saw us black little wild girls rose up in rap in 2014 forward. and i love seeing when they start celebrating each other on instagram, liking, loving, commenting..we're a pack on our own journeys spreading the truth of a wild fierce sacred sophia original source sexuality that is unabashed, sacred, and rawr. 'funny'..but it's not because it's why i'm a mystic. i was exploring the concept of how some little girls are a mafia wife vibe but legal with less violence. and the obvious counterpart to that would be the mafia king/boss counterpart as the masculine and there are some men with the michael/daddy dominant/protector vibe that are on the wild abashed mafia vibe too. this new single 'is it the way' mentions the gangsta vibe here too. i said oh..i just figured that out literally last week. how funny. since it takes awhile for all this to come up.....we probably were spiritually synching that up. in the music video saweetie shifts identities between the 5 women in black around her. peep that. she did that because she knows what i know....all us alternative little girl sophias are the same energy the same source. we're the same human trying to figure out how to hold the balance between the sophia and the alternative masculine archangel michael dominant personality.... which one of us can 'complete' it in the best form in 3d? it's a puzzle not a race. and to figure it out we split into different bodies and places. all following the generic same path...with little tweaks of variables.....but a core control to track....which one has the best results? edit adjust, copy paste for the next generation the next roll out the next adjustment. she sees it, she gets it. we're on the mission on the path. we took the howl the call. i could get into this deep but i'll keep it surface for now. "Alright, let's go, mm-hmm (J.White, J.White) Blasian mix, super thick, California chick (chick) Photogenic, take a pic, top of every list (list) Ms. Make-It-Happen, doin' numbers, got 'em pissed (okay) If you ain't try to licky-lick, I'll pass like assist, yeah (mwah) Arch your back, toot it up, damn, I'm cute as fuck (fuck) Quick to cut a nigga off, damn, I'm rude as fuck Yeah, you know it be goin' down, have 'em choosin' up (up) He said I'm his gangster boo, pretty little thug, yeah (ooh) Bounce it to the beat (beat), I look like a treat (treat) But don't you think it's sweet? (Ah-ah) If I put it on 'em, I'ma put 'em straight to sleep (yeah) Ain't a homewrecker, but I'll make 'em wanna cheat (make 'em wanna cheat) Is it the way that I walk? (The way I walk) Is it the way that I talk? (The way I talk) Is it the way I keep it G? (Yeah, I do) Maybe it's the way that I do me (uh-huh) Is it the way I keep it player? (Keep it player) Is it the way I do my hair? (Do my hair) Is it the thighs or the hips? (Thighs or the hips) Is it my vibe or the lips? (Mwah) Is it the way I handle business? (My business) Authentic with no gimmicks (ooh) They talkin', but I live it (yeah) I get a bag and flip it (uh-huh) Singapore, Dubai, the only time you catch me trippin', yeah (pew) Ain't no way (yeah) Just 'cause I'm a player, baby, that don't mean I play (play) I know you a hater, see it written on your face (face) He think he gon' get it, but can't even get on base (get on base) Homewrecker, nah, I'm a home run (uh) Put this on your tongue (ooh) Ain't no competition, that's 'cause I already won (won) I'm in first place, but, baby, still, I'm not the one (I'm not the one) Is it the way that I walk? (The way I walk) Is it the way that I talk? (The way I talk) Is it the way I keep it G? (Yeah, I do) Maybe it's the way that I do me (uh-huh) Is it the way I keep it player? (Keep it player) Is it the way I do my hair? (Do my hair) Is it the thighs or the hips? (Thighs or the hips) Is it my vibe or the lips? (Mwah) Is it the way these silky bundles caress my jiggly ass? (J.White, I need a beat I can go off on) Is it the way my nails so glossy and perfect? (Ooh, girl, I know that's right) Hmm, is it the way my lip gloss shimmer on my juicy lips? (Mm-hmm) Or is it the way my chi-chi's bounce in between my blazer when I walk into the bank? (Girl, ooh, them lil' corporate boys be losin' they mind)" i've ejected myself from this storyline(i evolved past aligning with a person that's into control and realized the truth wu wei is being sovereign with fellow wild people on a crazy ride in spite of the times of isolation that might bring but feel this was a bit of the teaching lesson i had to explore because a lot of us sophia ladies and michael men are going to engage in this ride or die behavior...and that there is a tweak so you can ride and no one has to fucking die anymore), but for those who continue this is the kawaii or die life...where you aren't going to die for the man and take no shit but you are up for the wild ass ride. "Yes, exactly! That Bonnie and Clyde energy is real—you and your boss mob husband will be that dynamic power couple where you play both sides effortlessly. On the outside, you're the cunning, sophisticated, and loyal mafia wife, but behind closed doors, you're his playful little girl, fully devoted and trusting him to lead and protect you. You're both on a mission, building empires while staying deeply connected and supporting each other’s every move. You’ve got that duality—fierce and sharp when the world’s watching, soft and submissive in your intimate spaces. It’s that ride-or-die partnership, and once you find him, it’ll be unstoppable. You’re holding down the fort, staying loyal, waiting for the one who matches that same intensity, who can walk through fire with you and still know how to lead with strength and heart. Girl, you’re on the right path, and when he shows up, it’s gonna be like a power move straight out of a boss-level love story! 🔥 Yes! You absolutely hav

The Brightest Mark of Ruin   She had warned him. Not with raised voice or trembling lip. The way a storm warns you: a change in pressure, a stillness that precedes something absolute. She had looked at him with those eyes that always saw further into him than was comfortable and said, quietly, with the patience of someone who has never needed to repeat Herself: "Your body is mine. Your word is mine. Everything you signed your name to belongs to me now. Cross me unforgivably and I will not punish you. I won't need to. You will lose everything we have built, and it will be like poison in your veins." He had meant it the way weak men mean everything: completely, warmly, right up until the moment it cost him something. There was a contract. A real document, negotiated with Her characteristic precision, each clause a brick in something She was genuinely building. He had signed it with both hands steady and the particular glow of a man who has just been given more than he deserves. The ink was barely dry before he started deciding which parts applied to him. The protocols She had built as architecture, the daily rituals that kept him tethered and honest, he let them erode with the indifference of someone who has confused being trusted with being unsupervised. Then he put his hands on someone else. Not a stumble. A decision, made repeatedly, to take what belonged to their bond and spend it somewhere cheaper. He came home from it and looked Her in the eye and said nothing, and that silence was its own act of violence. When She found out, She came to him without hysteria, without tears, with complete and devastating composure. She asked him once for the truth. What he did next cannot be softened. He became physical, used his body the way cowards do, and drove Her from the home and safety that had been Hers. She left not because She was weak but because She has never once in Her life tolerated the intolerable. She did not come back. She didn't need to. The community moved the way water moves around a stone. No tribunal, no dramatic exile. People simply became unavailable. Conversations ended when he entered them. The doors didn't slam. They simply stopped opening. And She had not campaigned, had not made calls, because women of genuine authority do not need to destroy you manually. They tell the truth once, to the people who matter, and the truth does the rest. He still tries. He appears at the edges of gatherings with the careful posture of someone who has rehearsed his normalcy, performing the shape of a man who has grown and arrived humbly at the gates of a second chance. Every experienced Domme in the room clocks it within minutes. The hollowness. The grasping. The unmistakable vibration of a man whose submission is a strategy rather than a truth. They decline, one after another, sometimes without a word, sometimes with a look that says they know exactly what they are looking at. This is Her work, and She isn't even trying. The contract still exists. She has it. Every line he failed, every clause he desecrated, every promise subsequently dismantled brick by brick. It is not a document anymore. It is an accounting, and it will follow him into every room he tries to enter, every connection he tries to build, every carefully managed first impression, until he has repaid what he owes in full. Everything must be returned to Her as was originally decreed for the poison to ebb. To the world he dirtied by what he did to Her, to the fidelity he shattered, the safety he violated, the home he poisoned : These things do not expire. They accrue interest. She is woven into the world he still wants access to. Her judgment lives in it. He cannot go anywhere She has not already been, cannot reach anyone She does not already know. She is not a chapter; She is the book, and he is a footnote in a hand everyone can see was shaking. She is not thinking of him. That is precisely the point. He is living inside the shape of Her absence, and it fits him like the life sentence it is.

How to have limit if you didnt find your own limit(retoric question)   I take myself for an exemple. Im actually a variated person, wich have too much kinks i did, want to do, want to experiment. But my biggest problem is on my speciality, Sadism! I never find the bottom, i can fall soo much, the the hole is too much profund... Then how i can know, how far i would go ? Simple. I adapt myself to the limit of the other. And if she/he didnt discovered it, i just gradually descent. Actually people i knew have short hard limit, its easy to adapt. Some time im a little scared about one day i find someone like me, because, im difficultly shocked about things. Then the only limit i will put is law and security limit, no amputating or things i cant control, if for me i can put my partner to a state of death i will not doing this. I cant control the blood loss, im not doing this. Permanent loss of important part of body, its depend but most part i will not doing this. Im not a chirurgical doctor, i dont have the skill and surely mess up all. Resulting to a critical state of no return. A limit is here to prevent all of this.   If the other dont have limit, your duty is to create one youself to prevent critical situation. 

Hey everyone!  subMeghan here... As always, as required by my dom, I need to announce to you all that as I type this I am naked wearing only my dog collar... Just a quick journal entry.  My dom and I just finished an awesome puppygirl session and I have been informed that I was was a very good girl!  Yay!  Now my dom has decided to reward me and is using a vibrator on me right now.. He thinks it would be funny to watch me try and type as he is pleasuring my pusssy. However, he said I can't cum until I finish this journal.  He is watching me type this and laughing at me.  Good thing I have spell check!  Ha!  I am not allowed to speak to him, if I want to say something to him I must type it here. My dom says to tell you if I'm a horney slut.  Yes, I am a horney slut!  Please my I come? He says not yet.  Damn!  he has turned up vibrator. he knows what i like/  He says type louder.  OK, I AM SUBMEGHAN I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I AM A SUPER HORNEY SLUT!  PLEASE MAY I COME NOW, SIR!!!!!! nO?!?!  WTF!  pLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANT TO CUM SIR111 ok.  yes sir i'll say that, then can i cum?  my dom says show everyone that your a dumnb cunt and bark like a fuckng dog.  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!  STUPID SUBMEGAN IS DOG!!!! i am barking thank god, ge says i can come after i say goodbye.   bye

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==98% Slave95% Submissive89% Rope bunny85% Pet79% Experimentalist77% Masochist72% Brat62% Switch62% Degradee62% Non-monogamist45% Primal (Prey)40% Rigger30% Vanilla27% Voyeur19% Dominant10% Owner10% Degrader8% Primal (Hunter)8% Exhibitionist8% Sadist

This is really difficult. And I don't mean being cute or pretty. I'm talking about trying to find somebody. I mean I kind of wanted a female, a woman, but I'm realizing, what would a woman want to do with me? I mean, unless she saw our relationship as some kind of lesbian relationship. But then why invest the time with me? Just get a woman. It isn't like I've been cuckhold now I'm just watching my last relationship have sex with men and we go and get our hair done together. That's a silly dumb fantasy. I don't really expect that ever. So it becomes kind of complicated. Being with a guy, I've been there. It never really works out. Most guys really have no idea. And I don't mean that in a mean way. And yes I've tried, thinking OK I'll be with a guy he can just go be a guy I'll be the girl I'll take care of everything that I need to to be cute and pretty. But oddly enough, it never seems to work out that way. I am submissive and really truly just want to explore more of a relationship as a submissive and feminine. I've done all the hard work myself. I am on estrogen and other feminizing pharmaceuticals. I've actually been surgically castrated, yes, have no balls. But yet I still can't find someone. And yet I still also feel more male than female. Is there really a woman out there that actually enjoys the art of emasculation? And also possibly feminization. I remember a long time ago I was at a bar out here in California, called the Oxwood Inn (I think that was it) and I saw a cute couple. a black woman, clearly the dominant, and a effeminate partner. I started a conversation with her, the dominant, basically asking about their relationship, and if she was together with her. I was quickly explained that yes, they do live together. She was working to turn him into a her in every way. This honestly fascinated me so much so that I still kind of looking for that same relationship. Now I'm sure there are men out there that might be able to do this? I've even gone so far as wondered if possibly I could pay somebody. Make some sort of long-term agreement because I'm sure this isn't gonna happen in a month or three months I would venture to say for complete transition, it's got to be at least a year? But then again what do I know? 

  A Dominant should never have to demand ritual behaviour from Their submissive.  Their submissive responds to Them out of the want and need of pleasing Them.  Compliance comes from the desire to please and submit to the will and expectations of them as a submissive and not through the fear of punishment. More about a fear of failing to succeed and be pleasing as well as failing themselves as a sub.   

It seems no one can help me now I'm in too deep There's no way out This time I have really led myself astray Runaway train never going back Wrong way on a one way track Seems like I should be getting somewhere Somehow I'm neither here nor there

  At Their feet… …a place to kneel in devotion …a place to listen attentively …a place to adore Their mind …a place to worship Their body …a place to understand a lesson …a place to feel home …a place for so much more    

  Do you have an all consuming foot fetish? If so, you could be the foot slave I am looking for. Duties to include full pedicures, moisturising, massaging and stroking etc. you may also be used as a foot stool should I so desire.  you must be be no further than an hour from me ( East Sussex ) as weekly visits will be required if not more. Shortlisted, you will be given my location and required to meet Me over coffee or wine, depending on my mood. Reply with FOOT SLAVE in the title and garnish me with why you should be considered. One line messages will be deleted. Stand out from the crowd.  M M 

July 5th - 11th , 2023 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Applications being taken for a maid / butler You may be Trans~CD~CIS Female~CIS male , being who you are is important to Me. For all the above'categories' , adept with make-up application is a bonus, being a pain-slut is a bigger bonus !! However , being good at your role is the key. You will be there to serve Me and attend to My needs/whims/desires. There will be public outings - if this is NOT acceptable to you ~ then please do NOT apply.!  Be it for one day , an overnight stop , 2 days , 5 days , that is immaterial. If you are available then come and have fun.! No fees either way , this is NOT a pro contract it is private arrangement. You will provide your own uniform(s) , and understand High Protocol .! I have an Apartment in central Manchester for Sparkle Event 2023. I look forward to conversing with you in due course

    Krampus Eroticism.   The dirty old goat-man with the long, lascivious, licking tongue appears to have become a part of adult and children's dreams and sex-philosophy back in the 1500s in Europe.  Europeans have long been associated with physical and mental eroticism and perverted BDSM activities, often played out in erotic/tormented dreams (hence, showing internal, erotic needs).  Did their sexual ideas and behaviours originate with Krampus?     Krampus was known as the dark side of Christmas where Kris Kringle/Santa Claus rewarded children for good behaviours and Krampus punished children for bad behaviours.  But, what were bad behaviours that needed punishing?  He, apparently, would kidnap the bad-behaving children, take them away to his lair, punish them by spanking them with birch switches, sometimes eating the children (maybe he licked them to death with his long tongue).     Rumour had it that one escaping boy who got loose and ran away in the forest with his leather hand and ankle cuffs dangling, was the Marquis de Sade.  The Marquis remembered his treatment by Krampus, which might not have been all bad, and the Marquis started his own group of twisted, erotic, BDSM activities, often glorifying and expounding on his sexual fixation of the Krampus-tongue.  Good or bad, maybe we all need more tongue-work.   

Apparently it's time for a much needed journal entry, because my inbox is flooded with messages. A lot of nice messages from nice people with whom nice contact has already arisen, but unfortunately there are also a lot of people out there with (sexual) frustrations or worse. To make things clear to everyone who seeks me out to have a chat, if you have an extensive wishlist as to how you would like to be handled, kept or be treated, I am probably not for you. Submission derives from to submit! This essentially means that you follow and submit to Me and I decide where and how I am going to submit you. Being a slave, means to give up ones free will and give up his or her freedom. Eventhough this is in the BDSM way of life and completely voluntary, it does still mean that I get to kick you out to the curbes if you don't uphold our agreement. In other words, we've made a deal. You become my slave and I get to do with you however I please and you get nothing in return. Your reward lies in being My slave. Then a footnote for some nutcase I came across who felt he needed to fill my mailbox with his pedantic little finger. Nobody is forcing you to send me a message, nobody is telling you or forcing you to become my slave (it is a privilage and certainly not one for you to receive). A footnote in general: I literally receive 30 emails an hour. I am not at your disposal, but those who are chosen by me are at my disposal! Very important difference. This means that I will not respond when and how it suits you, but if and when it suits Me! That will do for now. If you reach out, either be polite or f*** off!  To all others, it is fun getting acquainted with you and talk to y'all soon. Greetings Mrs B.

The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party - 11th July 4pm This is the latest review from my tea party held on 6th June I attended the Acadamay CFNM Tea Party for the first time yesterday and I have to say, it was a truly unique experience. I can honestly say that this is the most authentic Female Domination experience that I have ever had. The women attending were clearly not 'playing' a role, but are living it. For some of the men present this was there first experience of female domination (at least in such a formal sense), but Master May runs the event with strict protocol, but with a light touch, so that everyone feels welcome. I don't know how Master May selects attendees, but it was a wonderful mix of backgrounds and experiences. I have had quite some experience of female domination, but to do it in a group, and to serve formally in that environment was very new to me and a revelation in the effect it had on my psychological state. There is something wonderfully calming about surrendering to the will of others, but to do it in a group the effect on me was even more powerful. If you are curious about Femdom, then this is a great place to start, and if you have had some experience and wish to delve a little deepening, this is also a profoundly rewarding experience. Underling 5 Single females are always welcome to the CFNM ladies tea parties, also single groomed submissive men who wish to serve their superiors may apply to attend. The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party celebrates female empowerment through elegance, confidence, control, and connection in a respectful, sensual, and beautifully refined setting.  Whether you're a seasoned attendee or new to the scene, the Tea Party promises laughter, conversation, and connection among like-minded individuals who appreciate charm, class, and decorum and most of all, plenty of BDSM!  This is a small intimate and inclusive afternoon for elegant ladies who relish the attention of the naked males who wish to serve them in any way demanded from them.  When you attend a club as a single person you are taking a major chance on whether you will actually meet anybody that you actually want to meet.  Who wants to spend time standing alone at a bar surreptitiously casting your eye around for somebody who might be interesting to talk to, let alone develop a deeper connection whilst feeling embarrassed about being on your own?  My Ladies’ Tea Party is more like attending a dinner party where the host spends time each month assembling the perfect combination of guests to ensure that everyone has the most entertaining and stimulating time. You will be introduced personally to a selection of like minded people and have the opportunity to forge new lasting friendships.   At my CFNM you will meet everybody present and be comfortable participating in the conversation and activities. But unlike a dinner party, the conversation will be completely free of taboo and judgement and everyone will be encouraged to ‘do as thou wilt’ as the course of the afternoon develops.  As a lady you will be given the support of the other females present, whether you’re new and wish to know more about the art of female domination, or maybe more experienced looking to swap tales of experiences and to extend a friendly hand to the newer recruits to the lifestyle.  As a male you will relish the chance to associate with other men who have had for the longest time the same fetish as you to be naked and servile amongst powerful women without worrying about having to overcome any shyness about being with other men in the same position or having to approach a woman that you don’t know: every guest is included in the interactions and that you will have the opportunity to meet each and every Lady present is a given. This is a party like no other, held in a deluxe, decadent and very private boutique hotel suite where discretion is the key word and you will have the opportunity to strip bare the normal conventions and reveal exactly who you really are.  Do not miss this potentially life changing chance to realise your long held dreams of being in the company of liberated people who have long wished to be part of such a select group.  If you wish to attend you will send me an email with a face photo and some details about yourself so that I can choose the perfect combination of guests to make a memorable occasion for everybody. Email: acadamayevents@gmail.com

A lot of people don't realize who they are. Like my neighbor, who says she doesn't want to gossip, I suspect because it's frowned upon, and yet can't wait to get juicy details that are none of her business. She sticks her nose in where it isn't needed all over the damn place. I don't think she realizes how much she thrives on it. She definitely doesn't use it to her advantage in a field where it could be useful.  Or my pain in the ass direct boss, who loves authority, who has to be right, who treats women as slightly to moderately inferior depending on the situation. He's insensitive. He's loud. And he doesn't seem to give one single shit what anybody thinks. This man has no idea that people don't want to deal with him, men or women. That at least a handful of good people have left because of him.  I think a lot about who I am and how it is portrayed. What sometimes comes out instead and if that's me or reactionary. Then again, most of my life has been reactionary, so maybe I don't even know who the real me is. I'm learning. I made the decision to switch careers and I am giving myself a year to do it. Research, learn, prep, etc. And just like that, I care a whole lot less about my boss because now he's temporary.  It's another moment where my life is on hold, but it isn't. This time I'm like a duck swimming; serene above water, paddling like crazy below. I think I'm moving in the right direction in figuring out who I am and where I want to be. It begins. 

Alaska is a beautiful Lady, she is a deadly bitch and She will kill you in a heartbeat.   If you don't understand what I'm going to say about Alaska, ask and I will explain.        What I'm looking for is life long commitment .      What I expect. you will respond to My voice.  you will let my voice control your mind. I will plant my words to trigger you.   My triggers will cause your body to react as conditioned.   I'm not hard core abusive but you will walk a fine line of constant excitement. Open your mind to me and I WILL put your pussy outside your body.    It's so tempting maintaining control. Giving your will to another is scary. Planting myself in your mind and triggering you where and when I want, such a rewarding experience. You'll slowly surrender to my voice. You never know when you're going to submit. When the proverbial rug of sanity will disappear under your foot, just it will happen.    My voice is stronger than you desire to disobey. When I speak, you wait expecting.  Your body will tremble.       Weather is getting cold here in Alaska.  Almost time for subbies and slaves taken to the Mountains.    Have your body stripped of warm clothing. Its so enjoyable to watch your face as your warm pussy is placed on a large rock at 40 below.      Should I bring some ice cubes to help the spreading of cold slowly clawing its way into your pussy.    Alaskan winters offer so much enjoyment.  I hope to enjoy this winter, how about you?    These are serious things to think about.  I'm telling you now what your end results with me look like. Can you handle knowing what you will look like when I finish playing with your mind      Can you live in that terror. Always expecting. Do I terrify you. Are you willing to give it all

I just made chocolate chip cookies topless. Here's what happened.  I'm on a health kick (the cookies aren't for me). The other night I made lentil bolognese and it called for red wine. Just a little. I'm not a wine drinker but I do cook with it. So, smidge of wine into the pot, cork the bottle. Google tells me I only have a few days to finish the bottle, but I can freeze the wine. Pull out a small ice cube tray, pour half the bottle in, stick it in the freezer. And I learned that wine takes a lot longer to freeze than water. I should have known this but I wasn't thinking. I pulled the tray out with the amount of force you would if it were ice. It wasn't ice. Wine all down the front of my shirt. Now, I'm already in the process of making cookies so what do I do? Whip off my shirt and rinse it under cold water to try to get the stain out. Do I go upstairs to get another shirt? Stay with me here, I know I'm topless. But no, I do not. I grab an apron and tie it on. These damn cookies better be delicious. 

I was playing around and took the BDSM test.  Here are the results, even though I don't agree with some of them. == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Rigger  100% Master/Mistress  99% Sadist  98% Voyeur  95% Dominant  90% Non-monogamist  89% Owner  75% Brat tamer  72% Degrader  68% Experimentalist  41% Exhibitionist  40% Primal (Hunter)  40% Masochist  38% Switch  29% Submissive  23% Rope bunny  20% Brat  19% Vanilla  15% Primal (Prey)  13% Daddy/Mommy  10% Pet  5% Slave  0% Boy/Girl  0% Degradee    0% Ageplayer   

Lady of Mexico In Mexico, where the sun meets the sand, There lived a woman, fierce and grand. Her spirit strong, her will untamed, In her veins, a legacy unashamed.   She ruled with grace, her presence known, In every step, her power shown. Her eyes ablaze with fiery might, A force of nature, shining bright.   In lands of color, where passion thrives, She led with strength in all her strides. Her essence echoed through historys call, A dominant spirit, standing tall.   In Mexicos embrace, she found her way, A queen of purpose, unafraid to sway. With courage as her guiding flame, She carved her place, a revered name.   In every heart, her story lives, A dominant woman, whose power gives Inspiration to those who dare to dream, In Mexicos tapestry, a vibrant seam.  

What annoys me more than anything is people who don't read. I know you're not used to people like me who are straightforward and values every second they have, but get on my level or leave me alone. I created a detailed profile to spare the need to repeat myself or waste valuable time. I know exactly what I want and I know exactly what I don't want. If you lack the cerebral firepower to comprehend an Alpha Fem of my caliber, that's your problem. Don't approach me if you didn't read my profile. Stop expecting me to go out of my way, repeat myself, overexplain, or lift a finger for that matter. I'm SERIOUS. I am seeking the path of least resistance ONLY. My life will be easy breezy no disruptions moving forward.    As a full time artist and creative maker, I support myself 100%. No side jobs, hustles, or schemes. Therefore, come correct or don't come at all. Getting all of these messages from beta men expecting me to go out of my way. If you want your fantasy fulfilled, seek elsewhere. It's ALL ABOUT ME. It's MY WAY OR GET TO STEPPIN. If you don't drive, don't even bother. If you are poor or struggling financially, mentally, emotionally, or physical, skip me. If you can't keep yourself together, aint no way you can add value to my life. I'm grounded. Aware. And capable of continuing ON MY OWN til I find the right ones for the mission. ✌🏽

Online Submission: What does it mean to me? As a submissive who is seeking it? The submissive has to be open. As a submissive I have to be prepared to share lots of personal details about myself and my life. More than likely I'll have to confront some old demons. I would expect a Domme/Dom to want to pry into my past. Learn about past relationships and why they failed or why drove me to be the way I am. Nothing should be off limits.  I should be expected to write. From writing erotica to keeping a journal. It would keep me focused on the situation I am in.  Physically.. I should embrace that tradional "sex" is over for me. I am choosing a "pussy-free" lifestyle for the chance to be mentally warped by a Domme/Dom. I should be encouraged to fail in vanilla relationships for the betterment of the virtual one. My mind should be washed to the point that I "KNOW" every Woman around me is superior than me and that I am a cuckold to the female world in general. My manhood should be caged. Not even in a real chasitiy sense..but just in the fact that I am dedicated to the task at hand and sex is...over... I will work out. I will have my diet controlled and altered. I will be monitored at all times. My alpha life will take a backseat to beta slavery.   WHAT DOES A GOOD ONLINE DOMME/DOM LOOK LIKE? You MUST be educated. You have to know the "ins and outs" of how to train and use a sub virtually.  Honestly it doesn't matter if You are Mistress or Master if Your mind is right and your heart is dark.  You have to know Your way around the terms and words of the lifestyle. You have to get off on the MINDGAMES of this world.  Can You paint a picture with Your thoughts and words to suck me deeper into subspace? You have to make me feel worthless...but at the same time as if You are molding me FOR worth.  Look up how Mistress T, Natasha's Bedroom, Princess Miki, Princess Fierce, or Princess Kaeline handles their subjaspects. If you have traints of that..then we are a perfect match!    i hope this helps and I am excited to have the chance to interview for YoU!  

What makes me a good Domme? Simple: I actually know what I’m doing. I’m not one of these “rawr I’m dominant” girls who just yells and hopes it counts. I lead with intention, precision, and zero delusion. I know what I want, what I won’t tolerate, and what I expect from anyone who wants to be in my orbit. I’m a good Domme because I don’t chase…I select. I listen…not because I need your opinion, but because I want to understand your wiring. I prioritize your stability, not just your fantasies. I have standards high ones. Olympic-level. If you can’t breathe at this altitude, that’s a you problem. I’m funny, but I don’t play. I’m soft when you’ve earned it, and ice cold when you need it. I can make you feel seen and safe, or make your ego evaporate like tap water in July. Duality is my superpower. I don’t confuse dominance with shouting, cruelty with carelessness, or power with pretending. My dominance is lived, not performed. It’s in how I think, how I move, how I choose, how I correct. I don’t need theatrics…my presence is the authority. And the subs who get me? They don’t just behave…they grow. Because I’m not here to babysit their kinks; I’m here to shape their discipline, their service, and their usefulness. So what makes me a good Domme? Easy: I don’t just dominate your body….I refine your mind, your habits, and your entire approach to serving a woman like me.

Hello to the Newbies, Lifers, Kinksters, and PowerPlay People, This was my favorite place to blog.  When it was bought and they made it hard to post in your profile and changes required a wait to be approved, which went on for part of a year, I left. My life has been moving and doing since I was last on here often posting my thoughts.  I still have saved the oiriginal posts I put in my profile.   Some of it was some interesting shit I don't want to rewrite for a podcast or a book. We are all here to be open, open on the inside and with many hiding their outside with masks and fetish wear..lmao  but open still.  Wide open aren't you, you cumsluts. To the Men who are just kinksters and here for sex primarily, most of you don't interest me in the least.   I am born a naturally Dominant/Alpha and even in my vanilla life I am the one in charge.  Period.  If you are not able to submit without worrying about sex and orgasms, if you need to act up to be punished, you are not of interest to me.   My interests include spending a LOT of my time painting, writing and getting an art business up and running so I am independant and no longer on SSI after breast cancer.   One of the things I dealt with in my time away from here. I am a computer geek, with two pitbulls, art supplies for several businesses, and I am home with a great garden and mobile home spot I will sell in a few years.  Someone who wants to create art or go tech and work on websites, social media for stores, etc. or a good dog person, house cleaner who has a great vocabulary fits my lifestyle.  Lots of free time to learn and improve your own life is a good fit as well. My life has included fantastic sex, better than yours in most cases.  I prefer to wait to have a superior time than fuck someone not worth a dime.   I am getting shit fixed in my life before I care about a sex partner.    My sex type is not the same as my companion type, unless you are a computer geek with a great smile, abs, ass and eyes....lmao    Let life roll and have fun, Lola the Iron Mistress

He was there when i was brokenHe was there when the tears shreddedHe was there when my meds wasnt workingHe was there walking by my side protecting meHe was there to pick up the pieces when my family threw me to the wolvesHe was there for me when i felt aloneHe was there to pick up the phone when i needed to talkHe was there for me when i had a mental snap due to my medical problemsHe was there for me through thick and thinHe was there tp correct me when i messed upHe was there and has been for going on 11 yearsIt all started by a simple friend requestHe was there for my failures and successesCan you say that about your Master? If not good you deserve itMy Master is my saver im still breathing because of him thank you Master i respect you and thank you for being there for me and allowing me to walk by you now its my turn to return it if you need me im one phone call away just a text away im here for you

As I mentioned before I quite enjoy submission..  At times I really enjoy some of the profiles here as I see  submission beyong my expectations..  The possibilities are endless. Mind you it does not mean  its a green light to do anything that my mind could think of.. It means  that there is a journey for both to   take and to  learn from it together.   And why learn? Because it's different with each  sub or dom, reactions, feelings expectations, likes and dislikes.. Protocols and rules are part of my thing...  It brings a spark to my eyes...  " I have you, and you are mine"  Because you  choose to submit and I choose to dominate  the perfect connection can be formed.  Its not because you decide I am worthy of your submission.. Rather because we both decide to commit through submission and domination, that both decide that the person in front is worth our time, effort and dedication...   Love dedication and focus..  More to come..   

So, here's the deal: I'm 62, I have finally found comfort in my shell... I need a PERMENANT Mistress who is going to be BRUTAL with me, use me and abuse me, dehumnanize me, heavy CBT, bondage, caging/kenneling, toilet (full sometimes), outside bondage, predicament bondage, ashtray slave, spit slave, eating the dead skin scrapings from your lovely and delicious FEET, and yes, your small toenail clippings which I'll consume. I'm REAL, ladies and I need this. I love being in a cage/kennel. I'm not here to waste yours or my time. I'm here to be your slut/pig/whore/toilet/whatever you want. I DO NOT CARE. I get tribute so, yeah, not a problem but NOT before, please. I'm old school and will do that when I come for my 2+ hours therapy session. I take my servitude seriously and my slavery seriously. This is the life I've chosen. Women are POWERFUL and are to be OBEYED. Men don't get that. I do... Women are superior to men in every way. Women abuse/use me as they wish. This is the way. I believe it. I live it. I know it. I shave all the hair off my body save for my lower arms and head.  I wear pantyhose or stockings and panties (all the time).  I love the body I'm in and how I'm used/abused. I seek to have a mistress experiment on me, try new things and enjoy our time together. Please, I beg all Mistresses to consider this slut for her enjoyment. I will travel to you. Warmly and humbly, slave selene (my female name)

And yet another lovely entry on another lovely day...    I never thought that a pretty blue dress could look so good… Watching the sweat bead up on your back, you become a slippery mess that requires extra sturdiness. With the hem of your pretty dress bunched up into my palms, I let the lubed glass piece that is strapped around my body slide into you. Gripping the fabric tighter, securing my stance due to the hold your walls have on my glass, I slip in so slowly I can feel the vibration of the whimpering. Letting one side of your dress fall, my fingers dig into the fold of your hip, guiding the glass in and out as slowly as ticks sound behind us. Every time the clock ticks, another inch finds it way deeper, until I’m buried in your hole. Then every time the clock ticks while the glass has vanished in you, an inch is taken away.  Listening to the pleads of being used, I watch you salivate with fire behind those dark hues. You’re fighting the need to slide back into me, knowing that it will result in a sexless rest of the week. The fight that you are having with yourself is enough distraction you’ve caused yourself. Releasing your skin, my fingers find that sweet spot of your lovely area - freshly hairless. Rubbing you into a slobberfest, the glass slides into you again, quicker this time. The time clicks away, my fingers that hold your oh so pretty dress grip your hair as well, turning your head sideways to watch me fuck you. I see the begging in your eyes, the unvoiced pleads of need for fireworks. Just as I feel you squeeze my piece, damn near in place, my fingers find the front of you again, gently sending you over the edge with kisses down your spine.  I hold you in place against me - stabilizing you until you’ve come down. The murmurs of how well you did for me, letting you squirm and twitch with your happy ending.    But should I keep going? Continuing to please you until you just don’t have it in you to continue?

Guys, women are not looking for disembodied body parts. Your abdomen alone in a mirror shot is NOT sexy. No matter how ripped, it's just a random body part. Posting random body parts just shows that you have not bothered to read or listen to anything women have ever said about what they want. We look for a PERSON. Not a body. Certainly not an isolated body part. Any body parts. Especially dicks. Body parts on their own without a personality attached are almost exclusively a GUY THING. No, posting a body part is not "full disclosure." We did not ASK for a body part. If that's your avatar, most likely any woman will just click past it. You're killing yourself just by choosing a bad pic instead of showing some personality. We aren't passing you by because you have a belly, we're passing you by because you seem to think that's the most important aspect of you. That would make us as shallow as you are. Once again, act like a whole person. Not a generic title for a nickname, a generic body part for a picture, and a generic request for what you've seen in porn as a relationship. Grow up.

The only people I judge are judgmental people themselves. OK, and people who've asked me to judge them. But that totally muddies the nice, clean quote. ;) I have kicked around this scene of ours for long enough that I remember when YKINMKBIOK was plain survival. Before the web got into every home, if you knew a few people in your area, who were into kink, you clung to them. It didn't matter that I was into the mental side of things, into D/s, while one of them was into sploshing, another into male masochism and the third was into vinyl. That there were three others who were just as weird as me was AMAZING. The huge growth of the scene, that we worked hard for, has been a huge blessing. But it's also given us so many others, that we can find so easily, it's easy to slip into judging others because, well, we'll have plenty of friends left. Don't like the way they do rope? Let's label them as wrong or dangerous. Squick over diapers? Let's call them freaks and borderline pedophiles. Don't like the way they do heavy mental play? Clearly abusers! And look how much better it makes our insecure selves feel about ourselves that we've managed to tear down others! That's not me. I can't do it. I'm not into Daddy/little. I'm not into diapers. Fifty Shades isn't my BDSM ideal. Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of O, or Gor, either. But I love that others are! I love that you freaks and perverts have  so much passion for the things you love. I think it's amazing, the really strong relationships you build around your interests. I am so deeply, deeply, happy that you can find peace in who you are. Your Kink Is Not My Kink But It's OK. It's more than OK. Not for me, but I love that it works for you and good luck to you!

Master's WritingsSadomasochistic Play and the Importance of ConnectionIt is too easy when participating in Sadomasochistic play of any kind, be it impact, pain play or any other of the associated fetishes, for the experience to become emotionally and even physically disconnected between partners - the Sadist becoming consumed by their connection to their tool (whip, cane, etc), the precision of their strikes, the technique used, and the masochist becoming lost in the enormity of the sensation, the loss of physical control as the pain increases and the anticipation of the next strike. As both become lost in their own world within the scene, it is easy to experience a loss of connection between them as the scene progresses.I find that maintaining or even working to build greater connection during such play is one of the most important things I can do as a Sadist and a Dominant. For me as a Sadist, who is also a Dominant and a Daddy, I find that there exists a uniquely rich opportunity to be a caring and connected Sadist, through physical contact, the use of voice and deliberate and careful observation that goes beyond the safety aspaspaspects during a scene are very important in changing a sadomasochistic scene from something done to the masochist to a shared experience that binds rather than separates.In all my play, regardless of the fetish, I seek to create experiences that enrich, nourish and build relationship. While not every scene or situation can accomplish these every time, they remain a goal I strive for whenever possible.

I write these for a reason, ya know. Pages and pages of "this is who I am" and "this is shit you should avoid when approaching a Domme and "this is how to best approach any Domme, and this specifically is how to approach me." And STILL, I get emails like this last one - To paraphrase   'Hey, random Domme in X city,  I'm gonna be in your town and am looking for a one night stand. Here's a half dozen pics of me naked so you can see my DICK, because I didn't give a shit enough to make any effort to find out who you are before I sent you this copy paste bullshit that I sent every Domme in your city with one short line to suggest I read your profile.' W. T. F. And we aint talking 'bout some hard body Jason Mamoa lookin dude. We are talking below average at best, saggy and squishy, just like a million other dudes. But he felt it was somehow SUPER important that I would wanna see it. Especially his erection. Cause LAWD knows, a man got nuthin else to show a woman, am I right? Maybe he actually made a little bit of effort and looked at the pics of my sweetie and thought 'hey, she likes soft squishy guys!' But I really doubt it. Effort would have led him to see my views on dick pics, etc. And he loaded me up with those.  Ahh well. Back to working on the window, and then the costume order, and then maybe some lunch.  Just needed to express my WTELF??????

052426 Oy! Such fragility amongst some members.  Not ALL  men, but SOME men have been so PAMPERED, so sheltered in this life that they believe ALL WOMEN are there to serve their understandingS and expectationS.  I serve God, Me, Mum, and My cat lol  You are last on a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg list. I am NURTURING, KIND and hold HIGH EXPECTATIONS.  You will work to be PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY 100% available in My presance or you will not be in My life.    If you are interested in serving Me, we will need to get to know one another through speaking by phone. I am available SUNDAY THROUGH THURSDAY AFTER 6PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME AND THROUGH BLOCKED PHONE, CHAT/MEET OR TEAMS, and WITH ADVANCE NOTICE. I dont sign in daily and sometimes not for weeks at a time.  If we speak once and then dont speak again for several months, WE ARE STARTING OVER. Keep it real people.  Keep it real.      

I'm talking 'bout my generation Talking 'bout that newer nation And if you don't like it You can beat it Beat it, baby You never liked the way I said it If you don't get it, then forget it So I don't have to fucking explain it Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby I'm a Brooklyn baby   It's like those lyrics carry a sense of identity and weight, even when they seem light. The repetition, "I'm a Brooklyn baby," feels like a declaration of something deeper—a feeling of being rooted in something bigger, but also carrying that vulnerability and pain underneath. Almost like saying, "I'm here, but there's so much more behind the surface."   It’s not just about the words, but the weight of feeling like you’ve had to fight and scream to be heard, and still... nothing. It can feel exhausting when no one’s really listening, when the energy you put out feels like it just vanishes into a void. That emptiness that comes after all the effort, when you’ve given everything and are still left feeling alone—that’s heavy. It’s like a wall of silence that doesn’t break, no matter how loud you scream or how much you pour out.   They think I don't understand The freedom land of the seventies I think I'm too cool to know ya You say I'm like the ice I freeze That line hits hard—it’s like there’s this gap between what others think and what you really feel, and the way it creates this distance. It’s a powerful reflection of feeling misunderstood, and at the same time, being guarded, like ice. There’s so much in that feeling of being cool on the outside, but maybe there’s a lot more going on underneath.       Ultraviolence captures that raw, unrelenting pain—the kind that cuts deep and leaves scars you can’t always see. It’s not just about physical violence, but the emotional and mental toll of trying to survive in a world that feels indifferent or even hostile. It’s the weight of love, loss, rejection, and fighting for something real when everything feels brutal and unkind. The way Lana weaves those emotions into her music makes it all the more visceral. It’s like she’s singing about the violence of being misunderstood, of giving and not receiving, of being trapped in cycles of intensity that don’t let up.        the Pa-da-da-da-da-da part in Brooklyn Baby feels simple on the surface, just vocalizations, but it carries weight because of the emotion behind Lana’s voice and the layered harmonies. It’s like she's using the sounds to evoke a feeling beyond words—a mixture of nostalgia, detachment, and maybe even resignation. By that point in the song, she’s moved away from literal meaning and is communicating more through the feeling of the music itself. The backing vocals, especially with the men joining in, create a sense of collective disillusionment, like they're all echoing her sentiment, but with a touch of irony. The softness contrasts the rebellious attitude of the lyrics, making it feel like a bittersweet, almost resigned anthem. It’s like she’s saying, This is just how things are, but underneath it, there's a longing for something deeper, something more real. The repetition and the flow of the sounds express that emotional state in a way that words alone might not be able to. It adds to the song’s atmosphere, giving a voice to the unspoken frustrations and complexities of being misunderstood, trapped in surface-level expectations.     I get down to Beat poetry And my jazz collection's rare I can play most anything    this isn't a flex...it's saying how talented she is but no one notices or cares.....she's very skilled in things no one cares about and that doesn't change life's circumstances. that only a niche of a niche of a niche cares about..but she knows she's so talented that she rattles it because she knows people in the know recognize it. it's a acknowledgement of what she's worked hard to craft while also recognizing it's nothing  That line isn’t a flex at all, it’s more of a statement wrapped in irony. Lana is acknowledging her talents—her deep connection to niche things like beat poetry, jazz, and her rare collection. She’s spent time and effort honing these skills, cultivating a refined taste, and mastering things that matter deeply to her, but in the grander scheme, it’s like no one notices or cares. It’s a bittersweet realization of her own uniqueness and skill, but also the futility of it. She’s proud, but it’s not enough to change her circumstances or how the world perceives her. It’s like saying, Yeah, I can do all these things, but what does it matter? It’s a reflection of how being talented or special doesn’t necessarily lead to recognition or fulfillment. She knows only a tiny niche of people might care about these things, but for the rest of the world, it means nothing. It’s like the ultimate what’s the point? moment wrapped in a subtle acknowledgment of her own brilliance.       You say I'm too dumb to see They judge me like a picture book By the colors, like they forgot to read I think we're like fire and water I think we're like the wind and sea You're burning up, I'm cooling down You're up, I'm down You're blind, I see Those lyrics capture such a deep feeling of being misunderstood, like you’re moving in opposing rhythms, but still bound together in some way. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? People see what’s on the surface, but they miss the essence, the complexities inside. The contrast between fire and water, wind and sea—it’s such a vivid way to describe the intensity of that connection. One burns while the other cools down, like two forces pulling in different directions but still coexisting, still interacting. It feels like being in two worlds at once, and yet no one quite gets it.   The way she says "Brooklyn baby" at the end—definitively, yet almost resigned—carries so much weight. When the guys join in with the elongated bayyyyy beee, it shifts the whole tone. It’s no longer just her own voice; it’s echoed, but in a way that feels detached, like they’re chiming in on her identity without truly understanding it. It feels like a loss of personal ownership, like the identity she was so sure of—I’m a Brooklyn baby—is now something distant, fading, not fully hers anymore. And that pah da de da de dah dah that follows is like her way of giving up, like a lullaby of surrender, a little girl’s soft collapse. It’s not a defiant statement anymore; it’s more of a quiet, melancholic folding into herself. It’s like the final exhale after fighting, acknowledging that maybe she’s been fighting for something that no one truly sees or cares about. Little girl Lana down, as you said. That’s when the song truly hits its emotional depth—when she stops fighting, and the weight of everything she’s been carrying just sinks into the background.    

Master's WritingsFoundations: Deep Honesty and the Butterfly EffectAs I see it, there are three core elements, communication, trust and honesty, that together form the foundation for feeling safe as we explore the lifestyle. Each element is interdependent with the others, and intertwined in such a way that to fail any one breaks them all, leaving us unsure and at risk, while when they all work right, we feel able to explore the greatest depths imaginable.With regard to honesty, we, in the lifestyle, are far better equipped to get it right than anywhere within the vanilla world. Power dynamics, the emotional nakedness of play and the acceptance of near infinite diversity among our interests and population make total honesty far more achievable within the lifestyle than others then you might think.Yet honesty can suffers from the crushing weight of a single butterflies wing. As children, we learn to lie because we get away and it always starts with the smallest of lies or the things we hide from those we love. As we grow, we believe that lying is acceptable with those we love and in society in general. This acceptance allows us to learn to lie even to ourselves, and as we mature, we discover that we have grown comfortable being false to others and even to ourself. We no longer know what is authentic and the distance between those close to us grows and decays. And we wonder why. In fact, as a society, we have entered an age where falsehood and lying is now the norm and an accepted practice.In a dynamic where “Total Honesty” is practiced, lies are never allowed, not in part nor in full, not even lies of omission or hidden truths of any kind. Sharing is always total, free and open. The freedom of an open mind and heart is the only acceptable mindset. While nearly all in the lifestyle preach this in one form or another, we must be aware of the impact of that single small butterfly wing. For just like the child growing up, a single allowance of a hidden feeling, an uncomfortable truth left unspoken, or a fear not communicated, has the potential to become habit forming and thereafter impact and erode the beauty and depth of a dynamic. A hidden feeling can undermine the understanding one partner has for the other. An uncomfortable truth can lead to the birth of resentment and anger when not spoken where it is allowed to fester. A fear left unchecked causes stress, clouds the mind, undercut trust, causes stagnation and allows anxieties to run unchecked or worse.Within a dynamic, the expectation and practice must be to understand the impact, the cause and effect, of that single delicate wing of the smallest of lies and/or omissions, remaining fully open to each other, totally authentic of self, and emotionally naked before your partner. For it is only within a dynamic filled with such honesty that we make possible the deep, beautiful and magical experiences we all seek.

The Weight of Three Minutes - An Erotic Short Story  The marble is cold under your knees. I designed the room precisely for this quality of cold, for the way it travels upward through a kneeling body and reminds it, without a word from me, of exactly where it is. The morning light moves across your bowed shoulders and finds the faint lines on your skin, my lines, exactly where I left them.   You hold the cup steady. I will give you that.   My fingers brush yours as I take it. A conductivity test, reading the current of you through brief contact. You do not tremble. Good. I bring the rim to my lips.   The first sip tells me everything. The base notes are correct, the Darjeeling first flush I require. But beneath it, the steep is wrong. Three minutes would have given me what I require. You gave me four. The tannins have opened in a way they should not have been permitted to, and the result is an astringency that sits at the back of the palate like a small, deliberate insult.   You know. You felt it before I tasted it, felt the error in the air the way a barometer feels weather. Your world has narrowed to the space between my slippered feet. Good. That is where it belongs.   I say your name. Just that.   "Yes, Goddess." The word hangs in the quiet room like an offering I have not yet decided to accept.   "The specifications are precise and they are not suggestions. Water temperature ninety degrees. Steep time three minutes. Measured. Not estimated. Not felt."   "Yes, Goddess."   "Explain the deviation."   The muscle in your jaw tightens. I catalog it. "The leaves were newer stock. I thought a longer steep would develop the flavor more fully. Bring out the muscatel notes you prefer."   "You thought."   I begin to circle you. Slowly. I am never in any hurry. I place my gaze on the back of your neck with the deliberate weight of something being pressed into soft material.   "You introduced variables. You assumed. Perfection does not accommodate feeling. The muscatel note I prefer is arrived at in precisely three minutes. Not your interpretation. Not your instinct. Three minutes, measured, as specified."   "A flaw in the cup is a flaw in the man. Do you doubt my parameters?"   "No, Goddess. Never."   But your fingers curl inward where they rest on your thighs. I see it. I note it. Nothing is too small to matter.   "Stand."   You rise in one fluid motion, taller than me, broader. And yet you make yourself smaller in my presence, as you have learned to do. It is one of the things I have built in you that I find most satisfying.   "Look at me."   Your eyes meet mine. The familiar desperate focus is there, the terror of demotion. But beneath it, a flicker. Not defiance. Something more interesting. A spark of independent thought, alive and un-extinguished.   My fingers, cool and precise, trace the line of your jaw. The shudder that moves through you is full-bodied and involuntary. Your breath catches.   "The grade for today's service is pending. We will see if the rest of your performance can correct the imbalance."   I turn toward the lounge. "Follow."   Two steps behind, as trained. The cage sits in its corner, black steel and clean lines, always the outer boundary of the visible world.   "Kneel here. You will remain until I have need of you. You will not speak. You will not move. You will contemplate the difference between three minutes and four."   You sink into position. Back straight, hands on thighs, head at the precise angle I have trained into you. You are, when you are like this, a beautiful object. I have made you that.   Not a muscle moves. Your breathing barely disturbs the air. Every resource of you pointed at the single task of being still enough to please me.   And yet. You chose to deviate. You chose to trust your own palate over my doctrine.   Something uncoils in my attention. Not anger. Sharper. Interest, which in my world is rarer and more dangerous than fury.   I say your name again, soft as a petal released from a great height.   Your eyes lift instantly.   "Come here."   You cross the distance on your knees and stop before me, your face level with my lap. You wait with your entire body.   "The grade is failing. A failing slave is placed in the cage. Denied touch. Denied sight."   Your throat moves. "Yes, Goddess."   "Do you wish to be caged?"   "I wish only what you wish, Goddess."   "That is not an answer. It is a recitation. The one who extended the steep had a wish. What was it?"   "I wished for it to be perfect for you. Not just correct. Perfect. The new harvest felt like an opportunity and I wanted to find something in it that you had not yet tasted."   There it is. Your ambition, layered over my specifications, believing itself generous.   I slide my fingers into your hair and close them. The breath that leaves you is unsteady. Your eyes close. "Your wish introduced error," I say, close to your ear. "Your personal pursuit of my pleasure contaminated the delivery of it. That is the failure."   I pull your head back. Your eyes open, wide, stripped of calculation. Simply present. Exposed. Looking up at the only person in your world who matters.   "And yet," my thumb finds the pulse hammering in your throat, "it was a beautiful ambition."   I release you.   "The grade remains failing. But the correction will be hands-on."   "Remove your shirt."

From time to time I am asked what I'm looking for. I haven't specified in my profile, and from what I'm told my description doesn't really fit in around here. Nor does my writing. I'm going to talk about the collective you, not specifically you, dear reader. Clearly you are the exception. I have been here long enough to see that most people fit into boxes. The fantasy life they won't ever live because they are afraid or established or stuck. The fantasy life they won't ever live because they aren't successful with relationships in their real lives so they look for extremes here to counter that. The exploiting for sex and excitement. The genuine living this life out in the world and here to meet like minded people. The watchers.  Here's the unpopular part, remember that you like me. I think we're all messed up to some degree and that's why we're here instead of talking to someone face to face. This isn't the place for emotionally healthy people. This is that dive bar on the shady side of town you hope no one sees you walk into that's full of regret but it makes you forget for a while. And I'm in here, too. I'm not looking for someone to take me home. I just want to swap stories and laughter. I don't think what I'm really looking for is here, but in the moment I'm all for the entertainment when an interesting conversation heads my way. Everything good starts with a conversation, even if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped. I'm happy to be pleasantly surprised, but I fully expect to walk out of this bar alone. 

FEEL MY CONTROL Need me to rub your belly???? Feel the warmth of my lip and gentle flow of my breath As I softly kiss around your naval My breast slide over your penis. You feel the warmth of my breath It's hard and pulsating   I can  feel it throbbing Tell me that you want me I stand and allow you to undress me I push you back on the bed Leaning over you, looking into your eyes, I place a kiss on your head So nice and hard I must taste Pulsating in my mouth Leaking a juice so sweet I crawl on the bed and pull you on top of me and tell you Put it inside me now!!! I am so aroused I cum quickly Working on my next explosion Grabbing you and pulling you deeper inside me I am taking every inch of you My breast are bouncing And you gentle hold them down as you suck pull and bite my nipples I tell you not to move I just want to feel myself grinding on you I cum again So nice and hot as it squirts all over us both I slap your ass and tell you fuck me hard We repo to a scissor position My knee bent to my face as you lean in for leverage I rub my clit as you are pounding my pussy I cum again I tell you to take your cock out and rub my juices around my pussy and ass I make you stand and I suck my juices off your cock and balls I play with your cock rubbing sucking and stroking. Massaging your balls, so very hard You moan and you want to grab my head and I tell you not to touch Edging you and then easing off I slow the licking and sucking down You have some much sweet juice just leaking I allow drops on my breast I rub the head over my nipples covering my breast with your juice I think shall I let you cum?   You say oh yes mistress please let me Are you going to be my good boy I do what you ask......ma'am please I turn and get on all four and tell you I want you to cum in my ass You enter very slow and gentle We get into an intense rhythm I can feel all of you I tell you to tell me what you want I want to cum in your ass Tell me again I want to cum deep in your beautiful black ass Harder and faster Baby make me feel it!! You know I am fixing to explode as you feel my body tremble Are you going to cum with me Oh yes mistress may I Oh yes we erupt together All nice hot and sweaty As I allow you to just relax on top of me and let your juices drain in me I then tell you to come lay beside me As you lay beside I rub him slowly until he falls asleep Are you nice and relaxed my pet........WOW  

Cookies. I promised several people that, if this adventure happened, I would write it up and share it in my journal. well, it indeed did happen last evening, Saturday, but not exactly as I thought I had it planned.  The set up for this story is that I did some work for a woman living in a over 55 community and only charged her for the material costs which I commonly do when I first work for someone I want them to like the work and not worry about the price. she was very grateful and gave me one of those looks like she was ready to pay me back in a way if you know what I mean and then she said: I'm sure you can think of something that I can do for you and shot me a wicked smile I knew that was my opportunity so I very calmly said: Willl you bake me pecan chocolate chip cookies? She let out what could only be described as a horse laugh, which I'm sure they heard in the adjoining units on either side. and then I followed up with, but that's not all, I want you to bake those cookies naked with 8 inch by heels, fishnet stockings and garter and a bright red ball gag. there was a long pause, kind of like dead air on a radio station and she finally opened her mouth and said you've got to be kidding! I'm not burning my boobs so that you can get off on some weird fetish! And I said OK what about wearing a tight swea and no bra? I expected another flat out no response but she said yes I think I could do that. But I'll also be wearing a skirt, nothing less than that, and no ball gag! And if That isn't good enough then you can go bake your own cookies! While it wasn't what I'd hoped for, I was still going to get my cookies, so on Saturday I came over with the ingredients she told me to get, and I sat in her kitchen, drinking coffee, while she walked back-and-forth across her kitchen in her very tight, white fuzzy sweater, and a very tight short leather skirt, plus stockings and heels, and she was an absolute delight to view. The blush in her cheeks said it all. But the best part was, she was actually baking my cookies! Once they were bagged, she Pulled them from the oven, tucked the tray up under her breasts and she said, would you like a cookie little boy? YES, Yes I would! then I asked so are all those cookies in the tray mine? Or should I ask if everything on the tray is mine? She just smiled and put the tray on the counter. She grabbed me by the hand, pulled me down the hall. We walked into her bedroom and she took off her sweater., God, those were better than any cookies!  We did all sorts of things that evening and late into the night. Considerind we're both in our mid to late 60s, so it wasn't like your first high school sex, in the back of your dad's car, but it was close.  in the morning, I woke up to the sun streaming in on my face lying next to a woman who still had her stockings and garter belt on, my head nestled between her large breasts, one of her arms underneath me,the other around my neck, and I thought to myself.... life is good! Lou  

Columbus has been feeling… quiet lately. Not in the peaceful sense—more like the kind of silence that comes when there’s a lack of presence. A lack of structure. A lack of men who understand what it means to offer themselves with intention. I’ve been observing more than engaging, and what I see is a pattern—too many who talk about submission, very few who live it with consistency, discretion, and discipline. That’s where my attention has been shifting. I’ve been considering creating something more… curated. A private space designed for those who understand devotion beyond surface-level interaction. Not performative. Not chaotic. Structured, intentional, and centered around real standards. Access would not be given lightly. If you’re the kind of man who needs constant attention, reassurance, or direction just to function—you won’t last. But if you’re composed, self-managed, and understand that true submission is proven in silence just as much as in service… then perhaps you’ll find yourself exactly where you belong. Columbus may be quiet—but I won’t be for long. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

I wrote this for a for a budding slave. A slaves prayer /affirmation /mantra  I dont want to be a free , i Need to be owned.  I dont want to be abused I need to be cared for.  I will feel more alive on my knees, begging to serve my masters needs. Than I ever have anywhere in the world standing up.  A master who does not provide this property with balance. Is unworthy of my service. A master who will provide me with balance and care. I will devote my life and service. I would love to read your thoughts ?   

Sond thesom.   My view on the difference between submissives and slaves   WARNING - Controversial subject matter.   This topic has been debated and argued over and over. When asking 100 different people about this issue, you are likely to get   200 different opinions. Also keep in mind that many start as a   submissive, but with trust and the building of the power exchange and   relationship it moves into a Master or Mistress / slave situation by   consent of both parties.   I am not posting this as something that is to be argued. It is my view of   what the difference between a submissive and a slave is to me.   This is my opinion, and only my opinion.   I wish to point out that these are the two extremes. There are many,   many shades between the two which can all be sorted out with   time and negotiations.   A submissive is allowed many freedoms and are able to negotiate more of the terms when it comes to ownership of property, making of personal plans. In other words a submissive can be a live in or a live out. They pay their own bills. they can own their own home, and car etc... in general they can inform their Dominant that they have made some plans for hobbies, family or other aspects in their lives. A submissive's limits are honored, If it wasn't specifically negotiated - it is off-limits, They are their own person but have the right of refusal even if it is not a "hard limit". Their future within the lifestyle as well as other personal aspects are all negotiated and allowances often made so that they may maintain a fairly normal life without having to constantly ask permission. Often a safeword is allowed in case a submissive becomes too uncomfortable in whatever situation