Small Mercies, Longer Days ? It has been one of those stretches where the days stack up against you before you have had a chance to argue with the first one. Nothing catastrophic, nothing worth dramatizing, just the particular grind of too much friction in too many directions at once, the kind of week that does not make good copy but costs you something anyway. A significant loss in the family that required me to help plan funerary rites, and restructuring at work that threatens my position.?I have been moving through it the way I move through everything: upright, standard intact, but aware of the weight. Nothing breaks my stride, only I break things that deserve to be remade, but nothing in these uncertain times holds significant comfort for me (currently).? ? What has saved me, genuinely, is the weather.? ? Spring arrived this week with the specific conviction of something that has been waiting a long time to make its point, and I have been stepping outside just to feel it, that clean particular warmth that does not yet carry the heaviness of summer, where the air still has a crispness underneath the heat and everything green looks almost aggressive in its newness. There is something about spring light in the late afternoon that I find quietly restorative in a way I cannot fully articulate. It simply helps. I will take it. The cherry blossoms at the Field Museum are in bloom, and it's an easy walk. Lake Michigan has also been a close held companion, and was still as glass on Thursday. You could scry on her water like a mirror, and the light filtered through the overcast sky as if fingers were reaching out to dip themselves. It felt greedy to take her in, but I am nothing if not hedonistic.? ? And then there was Artemis, splashing down with the kind of elegant finality that makes you remember the world is still capable of extraordinary things on the days it feels most ordinary. Something about watching that capsule meet the water, the culmination of that much human effort and precision and audacity, pulled me briefly out of my own difficult week and into something larger. I needed that more than I expected to. ? The bad days will pass. They always do. I remain steadfast. Someone recently appraised me when I talked about my resiliency : "As the stars stay lighting the sky".? ? For those of you following the story of the weight of three minutes, the continuation posts tomorrow evening. Come back rested.

Tonight was a very bad night.  My sub collapsed  trying to get up out of bed.  He also had a fever of 101.8, was sweating up a storm and had a very high pulse rate.  Since he hates going to the hospital I gave him 2 choices.  I told him I could call 911 or take him to the ER.  We where lucky and the ER was almost empty when we got there.  They got him right in.  They gave him 3, yes THREE, huge bags filled with iv fluid.  I was surprised to find out that all his symptoms where related to a UTI.  I never thought that muscle weakness, fever, and a host of other symptoms can be related to something as simple as a UTI if you are over 50 y.o.  They gave hime fluids and i.v. antibiotics and sent him home.   He has been very good about drinking water, but since he had the infection he wasn't drinking enough water.  I am SO very glad we caught it before he fell in the yard or in his shop when he was alone.   Onto other matters.  I was talking to someone I thought was a good choice for a slave,  CS has proven me wrong again,  I sure hate the flakes here.  Why is it so hard to find an intellegent, honest slave?  I get flooded with emails, but very very very few seem to be the real thing.  I have two interviews in the new few weeks, but those I found someplace else.  Real life experence is the best way to play. I can't wait till another Kinkfest 2022.  It is a sold out event again this year. I am going to make a huge efffort to go to the play parties after all the classes.  I am so happy all of us kinky people can get back togeather again.  

I am currently seeking to add two new members to our House, one male and one female. The male candidate would ideally have a military background, but this is not a requirement. These will be live-in positions that require a full commitment. Currently, our House consists of myself (the Master) and two female slaves, and we are looking to expand to three active members, including one male.If you are interested in a true 24/7 live-in position where multiple members live and work together towards a shared goal, please email us for more information. The requirements to join are, able to drive, and open to learning a new way of life, both in the M/s lifestyle and in general.As the Master of the House, I consider myself to be straight, articulate, cultured, and a deep thinker. I value self-respect, honesty, integrity, and principles. I seek to dominate completely, both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My goal is to bring out the best in my property through intense training and development, while also fostering trust, obedience, and loyalty.This is not a role-playing or fetish-satisfying opportunity, it's a lifestyle that I live 24/7. I am not interested in subs who want to "top from the bottom" or those who are seeking a short-term commitment. If you are interested in total power exchange, authority transfer, good training, discipline, attention, and leadership, please contact us. However, if you have contacted multiple houses and stopped after a few emails, this may not be the right fit for you. MasterG

How I Think About This Life There's a difference between Dominants and Masters that most people . Dominants and submissives live this episodically, in scenes, in chapters, in hungers that get fed and return. It's something they do. For those at the deeper end of the pool it goes further than that. It is fundamentally different. It is woven into who they are. It can't be set down because it was never picked up. It is simply there, part of who they are.  When they aren't living in alignment with it, they feel something is missing. If you've done scenes, found satisfaction, and then felt the hunger return unchanged as if you'd fed the wrong appetite entirely, sit with that. It may not mean something was wrong. It may mean you've been reaching for the right thing in the wrong form. That isn't to say that a lifestyle that's built around playtime scenes is wrong or lesser, just that if it isn't scratching the itch you feel fully, mere domination may not be what you need. From my perspective, dominance is about the application of power in a given moment. Mastery is about depth, about how completely you're committed to understanding and fully expressing a woman's unique nature. I use dominance as a tool of Mastery, not its definition. What I'm after isn't the performance of control but its reality, to shape a willing partner into their deepest perfection as I see it. Dominance is the moment. Mastery is the journey. That journey begins with genuinely knowing her. What moves her. What holds her back. What she hasn't yet given herself permission to want. What she doesn't yet understand about herself. I hold what many people today would call an anachonistic (and often misogynistic) view of a woman's nature and her place in a dynamic. It is not a lesser place, simply a different one.  A hammer and a screwdriver serve different purposes, and each performs terribly as the other, yet they are both equal.  Dominance and submission is a response, in many ways, to how our society has tried to homogenize the roles of men and women in a way no different than demanding we accept hammers and screwdrivers as being equaly capable of fulfilling each other's roles.  I believe far too many women today struggle with happiness precisely because they have accepted society's rejection of traditional gender roles socially and sexually. I've seen women who feel peace and gratification when they submit in the bedroom, then can't understand why they're angry and frustrated when they live the rest of their lives trying to pretend to be the same as men.  Some women can navigate society's definition of "equal" just find, but submissive women need a place to express something core to their being that isn't satisfied in that space of equality.  For some, submission in the bedroom fills the need adequately, but if you're still feeling that hunger to submit, if scenes aren't fully feeding your need, I believe that's why. Do not mistake me: I do not see women as in any way lesser than men, only different. There are highly compentent women in every field and skill; I simply believe that a woman need not sacrifice her femininity, nor a man his masculinity, for the sake of equality, and that society's attempts to do so are why so many women (and men) are dissatisfied today.  It is mind-boggling to me how so many people can recognize the fundamental difference between equality and equity in relation to (for instance) disabilities, yet contend that equality between men and women is natural.  If you have a womb and I don't, equality isn't possible, period.  Equity, however, is. I don't apologize for those beliefs and I'm not interested in debating it. What I mean by that isn't contempt. It means I think femininity carries something specific and profound and inextricably linked to submission.  A something that goes to one's core, and that a woman who understands and inhabits that space rather than arguing with it is capable of a submission that most people in this life never actually find. I find that kind of woman extraordinary. Truly a priceless masterpiece to be treasured, and conformed to my vision of their perfection not harshly, but with firm confidence. My approach has always carried a 1950's quality to it, in the best expression of that era (which most certainly wasn't always its reality). The structure of domestic life has always served, for me, as an expression of the dynamic.  That particular kind of submissive femininity that finds meaning in service and in the rhythms of a household held to a standard, the rituals of daily life weaving the texture of the dynamic. The aesthetic matters to me as well: a woman in a well fitted A-line dress over stockings and a garter belt, moving through a home with intention and grace is, to my mind, one of the most beautiful things there is. It is simply where my sense of how this life is lived most fully has always landed. It certainly isn't for everyone, and I"m not saying it is better, only that for those for whom it fits I believe it is most satisfying.  I'm drawn to a woman who makes pleasing me her partner her quiet art, whether we are in a relationship or not.  I love enging with a woman who wants to be formed and shaped into her most fully realized self, who finds in that not diminishment but the truest expression of what she is.

  The Gateway For a long time I have thought that D/s, or in general kinky people, naturally relate to the superheroes of comics. This is not really an original idea - many gay guys have a superheroe fetish, and it is not just because of the tight uniforms. The typical superheroe lives a double life to preserve his secret identity from his enemies. By day a conventional, perhaps conformist character, he transforms by night to live dangerous adventures in an exciting underground world.  Fortunately, the need for gay people to hide their orientation has greatly diminished, but the dicotomy is still there - and it has its own appeal. Kinky people are in a very similar situation (complete with tight outfits). Many of us are selective about who can know our interests, and to what degree. And this, I believe, will continue much longer than for gays, because some areas of kink are just harder for the mainstream to assimilate. So we have a double identity - a gateway that leads to an exciting, sometimes dark world. A world where sexuality and power are both more naked and more sophisticated than in "the surface". A world that is also inside us - the gateway leading not just to others, but to a part of ourselves that is often a surprise. The Great Unknown, right in our core.  It is not a trifle. And it is all a present we receive when we face our inner cravings - and fears.  Sed timeo dominas et dona ferentes.

Since it is difficult to edit the Profile here, I will put most of my information into the Journal.If it is in ALL CAPS it means I have done this and am willing to do again, everything else I am interested in or willing to do or try.     ANAL SEXASS PLAYASS WORSHIP AtM                         BEGGING         BLINDFOLDS    BODY WORSHIP         BONDAGE                 Cages         CANDLE WAXCanes and CROPS         Chastity         CLOTHED FEMALE NAKED MALECLOTHED MALE NAKED MALE                 Cock and Ball Torture, CLAMPS, etc.COLLAR AND LEASH        Cross Dressing         Dildos (HANDHELD & Strap-ons)DOMESTIC SERVICE         Electrical Play         Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)Enemas         Eye Contact Restrictions         FACE FUCKFACESITTINGFEM DOMFOOD PLAYFOOT WORSHIP         FORCED BI         GAGSGINGER, FIGGINGHair Pulling         Hairbrush SpankingsHANDCUFFS SHACKLESHoods         HOUSEWORK SERVICE        HUMILIATIONICE CUBESInterrogation Role PlayJockstraps & UNDERWEAR used as a gagKidnapped Role Play         LICKING  MALE DOMMassage (GIVING)         MASTURBATIONMouthsoaping    Object Role Play    Open Mouth GagsORAL INTIMACY        ORAL SEXORGASM CONTROL AND DENIAL        OTK SPANKINGSOUTDOOR BONDAGE         PISS and scat play (Scat needs discussion.)Predicament Role Play         PUPPY Role Play         RIMMINGROLE PLAYING        Role Play CHATROUGH SEXSENSORY TOYS        Shaved Pubic Hair                  SPANKING/PADDLINGSPEECH CONTROL         SPITTINGSPREADER BARSStockings         STRAP & BELTTOYS & VIBRATORS                  WATERSPORTS    WHIPS     MY LIMITSThese are Hard Limits!  I am not willing to be pushed on these.No Under Age:  No one under 18!No Drugs: Of any kind, this includes poppersNo Blood: Yours or Mine!No Diseases or Similar:  Condom for anal unless you have a RECENT test results.No Asphyxiation or Breath PlayNo Cuts, Burns, Brands or Tats (On me!)No Injuries: I mean no broken bones, insertions (Sounds, etc) or ANYTHING that may require a trip to the ER!No Punching or Kicking:No Permanent Marks:  Nothing that will last more then a day or three. This INCLUDES writing and drawing on me!No Head or Body Shaving:No Public Play: Too many CC cameras and cell phones out there.  I do not want to be arrested or see myself on TV or the internet.No Pictures or Video, Live Feeds etc that show my face or identity.Though I am single, I cannot Host but can manage travel within reasonable distances.

Part One    I have you in My grasps, under My complete control, you are sitting there collar and leashed bound, bending to My every wish… or you will be. My thought as I looked at the picture of the man I was about to meet for dinner.  I gave My attire a once over and checked My bag to make sure that I had everything for the night.  While walking out the door, I made a phone call to one of my friends that would be meeting up with me later.  Everything was set to go.    A breath taking beauty walked thought the doors at Blue Moon, A nice but private place. You had been talking to Me for a month now and could not believe your luck. This was going to be one of the best nights in your life or so you thought while I sat down.   We had a nice meal and a few drinks. The night was looking good for you or so you thought, While you left to go to the bath room, Islipped something into your drink to make it a little easier to get you to the house. You wake up in a dark room with a leather collar around your neck.  A black leash was hooked on to make sure that my new toy wouldn’t go anywhere.  Your hands bound with a spreader bar in the middle.  Feet shackled to the wall of My dungeon room.  With a crop, blindfold and CBT in My hand.  First things first I start to put on the cbt, but with no luck for you are too hard at the moment, so I started to take other matters in to hand.  I take My crop and start to slap it against your cock... Telling you to make me happy with letting me put this toy on.  And I dangle it in front of you… punishment for not doing so will be severe.  And you want to please your Mistress, right? I ask. No response from you.  “I’m not   happy”, I said.  And swat another hit to your cock… this time a little yelp came out.  “Do I have your attention, now”…. You answer with a strong but held back “yes Ma’am”.  “Now I told you that this needs to go on you, and you are not obeying me,

I'm only saying I'm disappointed in myself because I wasted time getting to know a few boys over this last several months who have all turned out to be unable to be consistent or follow through primarily because they are not real and don't know it. I wrote that last message because many messages I get are claiming to be sub's but the first and only thing they want to discuss is sexual service or bondage. Bondage takes time to get to since a trust and rapport must be built and I don't appreciate being used as an outlet for him to get off on his chosen method of not getting off. That is not sub service and my profile clearly states that's not what I'm looking for. Yes sexual and sensual pleasures are part of the relationship but you have to build a relationship first. (I'm not risking myself to legal repercussions just to race to fulfill some ass holes dream of being "forced" into something. Anything) These subs that think otherwise are fooling themselves and wasting the time of good dommes. This behavior is no different than the guy on match dot com who plays the same move on a lady in the vanilla world. "Oh hey i like your profile and see you posted for ltr but would it be cool if we just meet at a motel cuz im not really in a position right now for all that, but you were just so cute" Men are still men even if they claim to know what being a sub is and most men have been trained since birth to persuade women to just do whatever he wants. Even if he wants to be a sub he can then be a selfish sub. These subs are fakers who are "topping from the bottom". I will not abide such behavior.

Nothing has really been right.  Though realistic to know that can't provide.  Hence would only really fit into relationships that are LTR resulting in ownership or some kind.  Its like men who get married that stay home as the so called house husbands.  Not really a person who likes to travel.  Female Led Relationships are even in the Manga that will cover or gravitate towards.  Around 2K thought things might work out with Miss Kriss. Though she lapsed into cocaine problem again causint schisms or issues. Really it was wanting to pierce or hang from hooks or things that don't really work with somebody having Anemia. Finding somebody whose interests are realistic is probably best.  Really the type of person who will gravitate towards whta the other person is into. Feet was something that noticed at an early age where would not be into Heels or Boots or Stockings in the least. Though as got older Shoes or Boots especially certain types could be interesting if somebody is into that.  So can't really enjoy anything unless the other person is.  Its like feed on that energy.  Not into anything related to food or feeces hehe.  Puking or Piercing among other things I probably listed in the profile. Really don't think things will work out for me or most in life.  Those who have wealth really are who should be owning people instead of finding somebody to provide.  As its a clear difference in class or standing.  Glad they least brought back journlas. Wish LittleReaper would give me another chance to speak to again.  Things were pretty complicated was having issues with medication reaction and phone ;).

I am pathetic.  After everything that happened I swore off this life. I deleted Fet, removed all my social media, removed all my chats EXCEPT FOR CS only because I was afraid in the next few years if I returned to this life it would take Forever to make a new CS account. Which I guess is good as I have 1 avenue I can share these thoughts. In summary, I'm pathetic. I didn't even last 3 weeks before I was deeply depressed.  Which doesn't matter as I don't have a Master anyways.  By the way Master Tim wherever you are now, dead or alive, you owe me. You owe me big time. I was newly married, a house wife, in my 20's and I went online (back then) on Yahoo chat. I had just found a book on Gor the first book in the series and I had questions and I didn't know what to do with these newly discovered feelings. I just wanted to know what this meant. I'm a black female who was married to a black man and I had shown him what I saw and wanted to engage it. My husband said what black woman would ever want that life. I was mortified. Is there something wrong with me? I just wanted to know. Then I found Master Tim. Master Tim you didn't have to show me the lifestyle. For 5 years.  You wanted to meet outside of chat day 1 of talking. I agreed and thought I'd was being smart by saying a public place .. Like the library. You pulled up an older white man with leather on and a motorcycle. You looked like you came from the wrong side of the tracks. I was young (in my 20's but truancy officers still stopped me), newly married, black female who was probably too naive for my own good. I watched you sit on your motorcycle. I knew it was you. You didn't look like you belonged here.. it was thrilling to watch you knowing you were just like in the books. You finally got off your bike and went inside. I wanted to see more, observe more. I went inside. I didn't see you and went deeper looking through the book aisles. You cornered me and said my chat handle. I nodded and you said you knew it was me something about being able to tell a submissive girl.  Side note: I have heard that over the years. A man would look at me and be like your submissive or a slave and I would be like how do you know. This always happened in a vanilla setting where I was not behaving in a submissive way to me but I was always called out.  I digress. You reached slowly to touch my breast and I didn't fight you or anything. I didn't know what to expect but I knew from the book and Yahoo chat this is what is to happen if He/You wanted. I got nervous and you stopped. What if we were spotted and this was my town what if a friend of my husband saw us... See I was naive and stupid. You told me to take you to my home. I nodded and did. JUST met this man and did. I was lucky you didn't hurt me. I brought you into my home and you whistled. I was proud of my house. You then ordered me to kneel and you stripped me. You put me in the correct position for kneeling and you touched my pussy and breasts. I was in heaven. I can't describe the feeling of being under that gaze that makes you forget how ugly and fat you are. That gaze that makes you feel womanly, sexy and that you'll do anything for Him. Master Tim gave me his address and told me to meet you at your house tomorrow if I was serious.  I was serious. I did everything you commanded. I was not perfect. I was tired. Annoying. Hell, you had to order me to fuck my husband (my first Master was so considerate). When you worked late, I went out with the "girls" at your commands so you wouldn't be bored. Tired up in the back of your party bus. The patrons thought it was a great gag. When you parked and they went to the clubs to party you couldn't leave the bus. We had fun. Whatever Master wanted. Needed. Then one day out of the blue you said your were sick/hurt and that you were moving to Georgia. And left. Just like that. I was released and you were gone. Over the phone. A year or so back I had begged you to meet me divorce my husband so I could be your slave full time. You said you couldn't give me the life I was used to. I'm not an idiot. I realized you lived in poverty let's be honest and I was upper middle class but that didn't matter to me. I just wanted this life but permanent. I thought I could say least prove to you that I was what you wanted but you were gone. I didn't even get a say. I was devastated. I was crying on the bed and my husband sat next to me. He said that our first 3 years of marriage/dating was hard but these last 5 years have been pure bliss. Now I'm home crying like I lost a family member. He gently asked if I had been cheating. I told him yes. That it was bdsm and he said he didn't realize how important it was to me. He would try. My husband found out I was cheating our whole marriage and said he'll be what I needed to be happy. I agreed. It lasted a mere thought. The man is just not built like that and I was trained in the strictest version of bdsm. He was doomed to fail.I was depressed sad and this life I can't stand anymore. Everything made sense with Master Tim. This... This life didn't.. I got divorced.  I've had Masters after Tim but ... I'm not worthy. I'm not submissive. I'm a slave. They are different to me. I get excited at options cuz I'm used to not having them and honestly I don't really want the choices. I'm a slave. I do as commanded. That feels right. I don't mind getting to make a recommendation but ... Yeah ...I'm too old now to keep looking for a Master. Youth is not on my side and my pretty looks is aging. It's harder to stay slim naturally and ... I really hate this life. I wish I never found that damn book. I wish I never had good Masters and then bad Masters but regardless Masters. I wish I could be normal and vanilla and that I don't long for the strict confined world I can no longer be a part of.  I wish there was a way for the pain to end.  It's so incredibly painful to be this way, I can't help it, and there is no counterpart. Its worse than being lonely. I'm a slave with no Master. I can't breathe, I can't think, I try desperately to never engage to not think of this life.  it wasn't supposed to be this way and like I said lated 3 weeks. I'm pathetic. 

52 master Alpha Male straight master willing to training a cis girl sub slave in London uk for 50s life style LTR ... I am a master/DD would say that I am not a loser, or dying for pussy (maybe for a real sub and her Back door=butt=asshole), not crazy or dangerous etc, but a person, pleasant, appearance, polite (more or less)and I like to dominate, I am willing to training one cis girl willing to be mine anal slut, must not be committed(with other cocks=which mean if you think you are naughty you are probably ...), who wants to discover and cultivate with me(no others) the pleasure her submission and live as a proper 1950s girl.all with honesty and pleasure for both, keeping in mind that is not a game)she must into a beautiful and intense time ..of course after care and use of the safeword is paramount in a long term relationship (even short but again 'no take away') ,if interested could write me PM ,NO 4 SEX CHAT OR if u want MONEY find a pig NOT ME!.I am only interested in sub/slave want to be own by me only for monogamous LTR ( or is full of wanna be dom and domme if you are looking for sex go to them as probably you rubbish like them so shite go with shite ). U must be in London uk 🇬🇧 , no cyber no fake ! -do please answer at this questions to show real interest or if not you just another fake . -your General Location -Ease of Relocation (to include any obligations you currently have in your current situation that may complicate relocation) -Disclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related -Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons why -Link to face pictures Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons whyDisclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related Contract For Male Dom Master & cis female slave "Slavery" ContractOf my own free will and out of a desire to express my love and devotion to the cis man I love and adore, I offer myself in slavery to my Master only for the period beginning on __________ and ending at noon on_____________. or life. Although I consider myself to be a slave full-time to Master, during the time period expressed above, I will devote myself completely and totally to the pleasure and desires of my Master, without hesitation or consideration of myself or others. General Rules The slave agrees to obey her Master in all respects. her mind, body, heart and time belong to Him. The slave accepts the responsibility of using her safeword when necessary, and trusts implicitly in her Master to respect the use of that safeword. If a condition arises in which the slave needs to use the safeword or gesture, her Master will assess the situation, and determine an appropriate course of action. The slave shall keep her body available for the use of her Master at all times. In addition, the slave agrees that her Master possesses the right to use her body and no one will be allowed to touch or use the master property (= slave)The slave shall demonstrate her acceptance of her role of service and availability at all times while at home and at other times and places specified by her Master. The slave acknowledges that her Master may use her body or mind in any manner He wishes within the parameters of safety. He may hurt her without reason to please Himself. The slave enjoys the right to cry, scream or beg, but accepts the fact that these heartfelt expressions will not affect her treatment. Further, she accepts that if her Master tires of her noise, he may gag her or take other actions to silence her.(only the safeword will stop the master action) The slave will answer any questions put to her honestly and directly, and will volunteer any information her Master should know about her physical or emotional condition. While her Master expects His slave to speak honestly and forth rightly about anything that bothers her, she is not to interpret that as permission to whine or complain. she will phrase her concerns politely and respectfully, and then gracefully accept her Master's judgment in these matters without further complaint.(=unless the safe word is pronounced) The slave will always speak of her Master in terms of love and respect. She will address Him at all times as either "Master" or "Sir," ( see Public Rules of Conduct) The Master may give the slave "free periods" in His presence during which the slave may express herself openly and freely. There will be no punishments applied during "free periods." It is understood, however, that the slave will continue to address her Master with respect and love at all times and that deviations from this rule are subject to punishment at a later time.

Subtle Tease of The Day This one is simple. It requires no toys or even touching. You don't even need privacy. Every hour (or a feasible but consistent interval) complete this sentence: "I get aroused when I think of ... and I get wet when I imagine..." That's it. Take a moment or two to fantasize. You don't have to share your thoughts. They are welcome

Please do not lie to me!  If you lie you may get away with it for a short while but you will doom the relationship to fail in the long run. If you and I get to the point where I accept you into my service you will give all contact information like your real name, address, and phone number and we will communicate by phone and sometimes on video and we will work toward getting on a plane for real life visits.  If you can not do this, or if you dont want to do this, then do not write me and tell me that you want to serve.  I am tired of people telling me that they want to sweep my floor but they don't feel comfortable telling me their name!  Get real.I will train you in how to think and how to serve.  Training your thinking is detailed and involves defining words so that you and I mean the same thing when we speak.  It does not start out sexual at all.  It will be like school.  You will take notes and be tested.  But before we start that process you will provide the same kind of identifying information you would need to provide to a school about who you are.  It is not the first thing I ask, but I will ask for it eventually so don't start out telling lies.I can accept MANY things about you from your past.  When I say that I accept them it means that I accept that you have these things in your past.  It does not mean that you will be able to continue those things.  If you have made mistakes you can tell me, and we will decide how you should proceed from this point.  If you can be submitted and committed, then you can succeed.  If you want to say how things should be or how they will progess then you will fail.Do you still want to serve?If you do want to serve be sure to show me that you have read this journal article by summarizing this article, and any other journal articles, and summarizing my profile in your own words in your first letter to me.  This will show me that you have read my full profile and journal and it gives you an opportunity to tell me the things you like best (or worst) about what you have read.  If you write me with just a one liner or even a short paragraph I will know that you have NOT read my entire journal and profile.  And that you would rather disrespect me by writing before even investigating what I have written.  I will return all letters from those who make this sincere effort.Miss Michelle

*** NOT LOOKING ***My main profile text is a little over a year old. Like most people here, I avoid updating the main profile because you have to have it approved all over again if you do. It's a profile, not an advertisement. I am happy with my existing arrangement for discipline. I'm not attracted to men at all, so your emails go straight to my Bulk Mail folder, which I only browse occasionally. Yes, even yours. If that seems harsh, it's because otherwise my main inbox gets flooded with unwanted approaches from blokes who don't read profiles and don't respect boundaries. I have occasionally accepted men for the disciplinarian role (as long as it is purely platonic) but I emphasise once more that I'm happy with my existing arrangements for this. You probably won’t get a reply unless you meet BOTH of these conditions (and even then it's not guaranteed): 1) use the magic word to show you have actually read this journal 2) catch my interest in some way that I like  Like I said in my main profile, I am not into the Dom/sub side of things. So if you approach me expecting to meet a slave or submissive, you're going to be very disappointed. It's just not my thing.  P.S. Guys, the new magic word is "tiger". This little test shows you have at least read this journal, so it should filter out a few of the idiots.    

Master's WritingsDo We Force or Do We Cultivate Submission?As Dominants, do we take or do we nurture? Do we force or do we cultivate? Do we allow for discovery and awareness or do we force a submissive to become the vision of submission we held in our minds before even meeting them?Nearly every Dominant I have ever talked to has a fantasy or a story about "taking" a submissive. We hold an ideal in our mind of what a submissive should be like, act like and perhaps even sound like. But do we truly, as Dominants, cultivate a submissive to find their own unique, natural path to their truest self?I believe in guiding a submissive, there is an easy road and a hard road. And like all things the harder road will always produce the richest results. The easy way is to take, force, and command them to fit into a predefined mold. For a skilled Dominant, grooming a submissive this way may be swift, but shallow, suitable for play, but not for a lasting dynamic.The only submission I find worthy of my time and energies, is one that is freely given, honest and genuine, where the submissive understands why they have chosen to submit. I find there are several critical aspaspects that are always part of this "harder" and, what I believe to be, a more fulfilling road. Though it might sound manipulative, it is not when done openly and honestly with the purest of intentions toward your submissive.Understanding: One cannot dominate another without knowing the person. One must understand the individual, both the vanilla and the kink. You should spend time to get to know how they think, what they believe, and the motivations behind them all. Share freely of yourself as well to create mutual understanding and build trust. Seek to discover the things that have shaped their life, brought them to the lifestyle - fears, joys, struggles, and fantasies. Each truth either of you share, unlocks a clue about how best to bring them out of their shell and open them up.Engage the mind before the body: The lifestyle and all its kink, when done right, will always be vastly more mental than physical. So many of the things we do here require deep trust, openness, and communication. I know you have heard this all before, but have you thought about what cultivates such trust? It is the mental closeness that comes from sharing, talking, connecting, explaining, and engaging in ways that are respectful of the thinking being standing in front of you, and generous in the giving of yourself. It is the understanding of how a mind works that reveals their blocks, their turn-ons, their fears, and the past damage that continue to color their present self, for good and for bad. As Dominant, be inquisitive of what takes place between their ears, not just between their legs and always engage the mind before you touch the body.Cultivate their awareness of self: In order for any of us to participate fully in the lifestyle, one must have an awareness of who we are, what we want, and why we want it. Few have taken the time to fully explore this in a meaningful way. If you have not, I encourage you to do this for yourself. Ask at least 3 why's after ever truth you think you have uncovered. Dig, explore and be curious. Don't be satisfied with superficial awareness but strive for the hidden understanding behind each “why”. Then when you have a better understanding of yourself, help your submissive explore in this same way. No judgment, no shame, no allowance for them to become self conscious or hide from a hard truth (of course in a supportive and respectful way that allows us all to share in our own time - some truths are really hard to share). Remain open, honest and welcoming. Create a safe place for them to share all with you. Don't lead or channel them to a specific place but allow the discovery to be organic. There is beauty in watching a flower unfold on its own. Question, reflect, explore and require total honesty as you go deeper. Only in this way can you guide them to an awareness of their most authentic self.Build confidence: Few dominants speak of the power of a submissive. I find that there is enormous power in the confidence and submission of an submissive. To know your most authentic and natural self is one of the highest forms of enlightenment I can think of. As a Dominant, I see it as our job to build that confidence, not break them down.It has been my experience that as you begin working on this fourth aspect, all of the work you have done comes together to provide you a depth of overall understanding of your submissive and quite frankly, they will, and should, understand you as well. I have always seen the yin and yang of D/s and M/s relationships being a growing together rather than a forcing to comply or taking of a submissive. There is no sweeter fruit than the fruit that is given freely and for an s to give themself freely, without reservation to a Dominant who truly "knows them" is priceless beyond compare. Once you have tasted such fruit, I doubt you will ever settle for less.A word of caution: This is powerful guidance, and not to be engaged in lightly. We do not use this for manipulation or deceit. We engage openly and honestly in order to seek the same in our partners. If you, yourself, are not yet ready to be fully open with your partner, please do not attempt this, you will only cause pain and emotional harm when you cannot reciprocate the openness that you have worked to create.For those on both sides of the slash, I wish you understanding and beauty and hope this helps in some small way in your life.

  PLEASE DO NOT SEND ONE LINE MESSAGES AND PLEASE READ THIS SHORTENED PROFILE BEFORE WRITING.  IT'S UNLIKELY THAT YOUR PROFILE WILL ADDRESS ALL THE ISSUES I MENTION HERE SO I MAY NOT WRITE TO YOU EVEN IF I LOOKED AT YOUR PROFILE EVEN IF WE MIGHT BE A GOOD FIT. IF YOU HAVE AN INTEREST OR THINK IT'S POSSIBLE WE COULD FIT IT WOULD BE A GOOD THOUGHT FOR YOU TO WRITE AND FIND OUT......  Because this site mangles punctuation and foreshortens some words I have tried to get around some of the issues as best I can. Please don't think we are illiterate and don't have good communications skills.  We suppose the best thing is to eliminate the majority of people on this site who don't fit with what we're seeking. That is not a judgement since not being right for us doesn't mean you're not right for many people here. We are seeking a slave or two who can be comfortable being owned by a fairly radically liberal Dominant man. We have cats and 2 Great Danes so pet allergies are a problem. We need to live with bdsm as the focus of our household so custodial children won't work. Even though  many people think I am younger than my years I am old and probably only going to be able to function as a Master for another 15 years or so. Once a family is established we will seek another dominant to be mentored and groomed to provide continuity for the family but there are no guarantees. Even so I still expect a one hundred percent buy in and c0mmitment. That literally means NOTHING held back, total honesty and devotion. Anyone afraid of hard work, total honesty or keeping a daily written journal won't work out long run.   I've been a live in slave owner most of my adult life but still have a lot to learn. If you need someone who has all the answers or can tell you exactly what you'll be doing in a year that's not me. My experience is each relationship is unique and takes on a life of it's own meaning as we each grow and evolve together our path will open up in front of us but neither of us can know exactly where it leads until we're on it.   We are a sadistic male dominant Master and his masochistic but highly service oriented slave. We work hard at living bdsm full time and still have active careers and time for the vanilla world.  We are very liberal, open minded, caring and dedicated to our way of life. Master is experienced and even skilled with over 50 years in bdsm communities and having owned live in slaves for most of that time. He is not judgemental and can probably address most any fetish or bdsm need you may have if he beleives you are capable of dealing with the outcome of living it as part of your way of life.We seek open, honest, drama free and not jealous slaves to join us in creating a caring small bdsm poly family. We don't tolerate bigotry of any kind. The mantra of ALL OF US BEING ON THE SAME TEAM might explain a lot. We require an extraordinary amount of c0mmitment, complete honesty and devotion. The ability to trust and share everything going on for you is critical.Together as a family I expect us all to work for common goals, be supportive of one another, always be excited and willing to explore further everything in bdsm. Adventuresome and self aware of your need to serve and live bdsm would be good. I am flexible and will consider slaves of any  legal age or gender or situation as in couples, singles or even an existent poly family because everyone has something to offer that could be useful to this poly family at each stage in their lives. But do keep in mind I ask for and expect a lot from slaves, That means literally 100 percent from you whatever that turns out to be.  We believe we offer a lot in return and if we connect this is an extraordinary opportunity for you and us. Please write if you feel an interest. We hate to waste your and our time if you cant envision an older owner or being expected to stay in slave space mindset almost all the time. There is a lot that we havent said here but again in the interest of not wasting your time I will stop and have more to share if you have an interest. We always answer questions as honestly as possible, feel free to ask anything.

Okay, what is with mens profiles on here?  Is this a matter of the Collar Gods not updating mens profiles or journals?  Is it a matter of too many of them to approve? I dont recall engaging with one man here whose age is accurate lol  And we are not talking a year or two off, but typically a DECADE or more some times!  lol At least if your profile is not accurate, the least one can do is update in the first contact email.  I should think this provides the appropriate degree of honesty upfront, while also reducing time wasted for you if the person does not like your stats. As for Me, I could care less how old or young you are, with the exception of 20 year differences.  Those kind of differences need a wee bit more considering to the extreme differences/challenges these may pose). Also, what is with dominant men contacting Me and telling Me they are submissive/slave types, but they have no such information in their profile?  Make another profile or have something prepared to share in your first email.  DEMONSTRATE SOME BLOODY EFFORT, YA LOUSE! Facts are, I have gone to considerable lengths to share quite a bit about My motivation and vision.  Still that is not enough for the energy hoards.  Send pics they say.  lol  How about you tell Me what it is that I have written which speaks to YOU about Me and how you see YOURSELF SERVING ME.  How about you lay out all the mundane shit you are just dying to do in order to get a wiff.  Instead many begin with pics!  I get it.  Yet if we don't even have the makings of something which will work in the REAL WORLD, how come we need to see one another?  I'm54, Rubenesque, full figured, strong like bull.  What else?  Height?  Weight?  I'm a little above the average on both and stronger than any women I've known.  I have good teeth, wear glasses, have allergies, am quite fair, and am letting My long strawberry dirty blondish grey grow out.  I've hazel eyes and freckles, size 9.5 shoe, D cup and a large ass.  I've never had a surgery or broken bone. Type O positive lol  I'm shaved or hairy all depending on mood and My shit stinks lol The list of things could go on and on and it doesn't matter one fig in the long run.  What matters is that I get you and you get Me and we want to get IT together.  This is discovered by YOU DOING WHAT I REQUEST and Me honoring what you have to share with Me.  From there we both get to determine our suitability. Oh yes, and what is with the supposed slaves offering theirself for ALL?  I really don't get it.  If you offer all, you should be here already not phone-finger fucking Me. I'll tell you how My first introduced himself, got a picture, every alais I've got and is on speed dial on My phone.... wait for it.... in his FIRST email, he quoted My profile, commented on it and said why HE LIKED ME.  Wow!  There it is folks, the slave told Me what he liked from My profile! LOL When he asked how to proceed, I told him we move to another chat venue (NOT PERSONAL PHONE LINES).  He moved so fast I got whiplash! We typed some words and after a few minutes things started getting convoluted -as TYPING THOUGHTS OFTEN DOES. I told him it wasn't working for Me and it wasn't going to work for Me if we didn't speak by telephone.  BAM! - he said I could call him ASAP.  I called him and the rest is, literally, history. IF YOU CANNOT SPEAK BY PHONE I AM NOT INTERESTED. No where to go and time is a ticking! Newsflash, I am not going to work overmuch to get you to submit yourself to Me.  I am not a salmon or a trout.  If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen and if you cant come off the porch, you can't play with the big dogs. And don't get your hopes up, My tongue is worse than My lash...unless you are beloved and then you will get your just desserts!  lol

I thought I knew what was wrong. But I saw a specialist and they talked medical blah blah and so for a few weeks I've been walking around thinking I have a rare cancer. Tests were ordered, biopsies taken, more specialists, antibiotics prescribed. I started mental checklists so if it's worse case scenario I get shit done before I'm not capable. I cried a lot. The not knowing of so many important things that might mean everything. Or nothing. Tests coming back inconclusive, waiting on next steps. It's a lot to add to your agenda since the world doesn't stop for a new crisis. It's tiring to be this stressed.  After all of this, the tests, the time, the tears, that first specialist agreed with my original diagnosis. If they would have listened to me on that first visit I'd be healed by now. Fuck silver linings, I'm pissed.  Not out of the woods just yet, one more specialist to go. But it's looking good enough that I can be uppity about the whole situation. Still, fingers crossed, okay? Thanks. 

I ran over a headlight. Not a bulb, no that would be too easy. I ran over a whole headlight kit. Set. Contraption. Whatever that entire piece is called. I ran it over. But not with a wheel, oh no, that would have been too easy. It got lodged under my car. I had to pull over and get on the ground in a dress and push and pull this thing to get it loose. Yep. I think my car is okay? It didn't blow up.  You know how things happen in threes, right? The two hour tour I took the other night was one. This was two. I didn't have long to wait for three. About an hour later I drove to not one, but two wrong pizza places to pick up my order. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I have lost my mind. In trying not to jinx myself I won't mention this being over or what else could possibly go wrong because I still have two whole days to this week and I need to make it through without calling a mechanic. And I still have to try to fix the kitchen fan, did I tell you that one? A balloon wrapped around it and the whole thing is dead. The lights, the fan, an outlet on that side of the kitchen. I know, I checked the circuit breaker. That's not it. Life is hurling adulting fast balls at me one after the other and I'm trying not to strike out. I'd settle for a walk as long as it isn't because my car stopped working because I ran over a fucking headlight. 

I've been in the lifestyle since my early 20's.  I am my area MAsT group leader.  I use to be very active in the NYC area bdsm scene, have atended many events through the years about north eastern USA.   I do not do play, and am not a bedroom submissive. I am a slave all of the time, in my daily life. I am not submissive to everyone, I have owned and run my own business, been a boss to many people in my jobs through the years. The world does not know I am slave, nor do they need to know such, I simply am who I am all the time. I can not turn myself on and off. I live life to the fullest that I am cabable of doing. I serve with my heart and bering, in all I do, yes, even when I am sans a master. Would it not be dishonorable, dishonest and disloyal for me to be on this site and be owned or collared and not have such stated in my profile as well as have checked that I am actively seeking a dominant male? I believe it would be.  If I were owned, collared, in a relation, or even simply focusing on someone at the time, I would state such perfectly clearly in my profile for all to see.  I am here seriously seeking someone, this is not a game to me.  Read my profile please, then consider contacting me.  First impressions mean a whole lot.

I’m not interested in disrespectful, fake subs who throw temper tantrums like toddlers denied candy. I’m not here for a drama queen who thinks his pussy is somehow better than mine — sweetie, we’re not comparing fruit here. Life’s too short for attitude, bad manners, and ego contests. If you want my time, bring respect, humor, and a little humility… otherwise, you can keep your crown and your tantrums for someone else’s court

Message to Another user when Questioned about deepthroating You just have to start slow and if it isn't working just relax your tongue & angle slightly different until it's a smooth motion into your throat. Then relax & let it go in & out. Then (if you did Swim team) do quick breaths of air in between some of the facefucking. If you have a long term guy to train you and get you used to it and the whole process it's not too hard. Unless your mouth is too small or under/overbite then .. Sucks for you. Or if the guy has a right angle member then.. That's pretty hard lol In terms of my oral health I'm 100% clean. Tested and STD Free & HIV Negative. I have health insurance/Dental too and even Vision (Wears contacts) I have all white teeth, no cavities or crowns, and I enjoy brushing them throughout the day. A clean mouth is a good mouth. Fresh breath. Marketing Major Caregiver/BarBack Have a nice Car Good place (can't host) Good head not emotionally wrecked or anything just enjoy being used and having fun.

A couple nights ago, a self-defined submissive made some generic comment in his email, but did call me Domina, so I responded. A little earlier tonight, he wrote back to ask if I was looking for a slave. Specifically, "slave." I responded "Well, if you had actually read more than the first line, you would have found your answer before you asked" To which he replied "oh, read the profile syndrome that tells me everything I want to know not for me bye" Do you see the problem here? He didn't make any effort, while simultaneously offering himself as a "slave." To a total stranger. 'Cause lawd knows, a slave ain't gonna be asked to do anything as outRAGEOUS as... READ. This kind of obtuseness just blows my freakin mind every time. I mean, the twit has exchanged less than a hundred words with me, is using not the mild mannered "submissive" or "sub" which is kind of like dating, if you think about words (and you sure as shit better be the kind that thinks about words if you are writing ME) but instead chose the serious and committed word "Slave" which is a lot more like suggesting marriage. And obviously, he's heard this before, because he had a whole big feeling about it, and has pathologized it as something only demented women expect from a man who was already offering the pinnacle of servitude. It's funny because it's so sad, and so common. I had just never heard it put that way before. Such over the top, blatant gaslighting. 'If you want this, you must be CRAZY!' I mean, really who wants to actually KNOW someone they have given all power over their lives??? I guess I'm more tired than I thought, and a bit bummed over lack of snuggle time with DB on account of snow, but I didn't even bother replying to laugh at him. Block, delete, on to the next. Maybe I go watch TCM The Beginning again. (I fast forward through all the parts that Thomas isn't in. Much shorter movie, but I enjoy it a lot more.)

Hello, I was bored so I took some time to go state by state and look at the basic category of profiles at appealed to me. There is quite an ecliptic number of very interesting people with truly Kink-based desires.  A thought-provoking side issue was that either the website is randomly broken or people who are in many cases requiring complete honesty are not quite providing it. There is a mileage indication on many of the profiles which is the distance from where I am located to where they are.  I'll use Dallas as an example, it is approximately 1300 miles from Los Angeles. Amazingly many profiles had distances in the low hundreds of miles to nearly double the 1300 miles.   It is thought-provoking that's for sure. 

It has been a long day, of chores, serving and some punishments finally I am at my official last task . My last task is to wait on master, kneeling by his bedside until he finally sleeping soundly before I can retreat to the quarter.    A slave can only sleep after the master's sleep and must rise up earlier than the master to wait on him.    Finally, when the master is sound asleep, I did the routine bow (careful with every actions because I am always watched by the CCTV) before retreating to the quarter right beside the master's bedroom.    Master has partitioned a small room barely the size of 3m by 1m right beside his room as a slave quarter. The furnishing only comprise of a bed, few hangers for the uniforms, and a small side table. It does not have any window (afterall slaves don't deserves such), and is ventilated by a 2 small ventilation fans on the wall. The lighting is only a few light bulbs which is create alot of heat when it is switched on.  My bed is actually a thin mattress lining in it, with a hard elevated pillow. Master designed the bed this way as a reminder to of my lowly status. Once in the quarter, though my official duties are finished, I am still required to perform my basic slave admin duties before turning in. I have a strict routine to follow, failure which will add to my huge pool of punishment debt which I have already owed master.    Sidetrack: Soiling of uniform is an extremely grave crime. Despite, slave is not allowed to clean the uniform until the end of the work day, which is after the master sleeps.    Changing uniforms Once in the quarters, I am is allowed to change to the regular uniform.    I swiftly, yet with demurely unbotton and remove the blazer, next the inner vest, and finally the bow tie and the blouse... And most notably, out of the heels.    Finally feel some breathing air the moment I undressed out of the formal uniform- it was so tight and restrictive, and always sweating under the many layers. And finally freed ever painful super high heels.    Image of the undressing process:       AdorablyBroken