I had a long chat with an old friend of mine who is a seasoned Dom.  Very well known up north. Mentioned my most recent chat with a submissive man with a "tight balloon knot" was frustrating. Both of us had never heard the phrase but clearly a used term in the lifestyle. It was brought to my attention that submissive men go through alot of different relationships because even though they are submissive they want things a certain way. A little frustrated as I took their needs seriously but clearly they were not prepared for someone like me who was making a checklist of what they actually need from me. My family from the lifestyle did appreciate I am trying to be careful as you don't really know what other hidden knots a person has but I was trying my hardest to take things slow but seriously. In all fairness their was too much talk about the needs of his bum hole and less about my own bits so ladies enjoy your fish and chips with that one. C

I found this today and tweaked it to add the woman, she, and her. This goes both ways; it’s not a one-way street. Actions are paramount to a solid relationship, right alongside words. People show/tell you who they are and what they want; pay attention.   You are not right for everyone, and everyone is not right for you. Do the work, read, and listen to what is being said and wanted.   “Every time I want to text him/her, I re-read these lines and suddenly, I don’t need to anymore: If he/her wanted to, he/she would He’s/she’s not busy, he’s/she’s just showing you his/her priorities Silence is an answer Respect yourself enough to stop chasing The man/woman who hurt you won’t be the one to heal you His/her mixed signals are just proof of his/her indifference A man/woman who sees your value doesn’t risk losing you Crumbs are not love, and you deserve the whole meal.”

I'm grateful to Master Dominus11 for permission to reproduce this entry from His journal.  It so nicely summarises everything I feel! slavery is not about suffering - slavery is about service.slavery is not about humiliation - slavery is about humility.slavery is not about pain - slavery is about being present.slavery is not about being used - slavery is about being of use.slavery is not about control - slavery is about letting go.slavery is not about what is done to you - slavery is about what you do for others.slavery is not about abuse - slavery is about acceptance.slavery is not about proving anything - slavery is about being real. slavery is not about contempt - slavery is about respectslavery is not about how you look - slavery is about how much you care. slavery is not about denying yourself - slavery is about being open slavery is not about bondage - slavery is about freeing your spirit. slavery is not about punishment - slavery is about discipline  slavery is not about being unable to escape - slavery is about being committed slavery is not about submission - slavery is about obedience. slavery is not about fear - slavery is about trust. slavery is not about sex - slavery is about love. slavery is not about pleasure - slavery is about happiness.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Former US Army Chiefs of Staff chairman Mark Milley 4 Star General https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/10/12/mark-milley-donald-trump-fascist/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFVuQ0RP_As https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9to_1UYH5rE https://www.c-span.org/video/?539560-1/joint-chiefs-staff-chair-mark-milley-discusses-us-national-security    

How to Write That Opening Message At some point, everyone in the lifestyle has to face the same awkward little doorway: The first message. Whether you are a submissive reaching out to a Domme, a Domme reaching out to a potential submissive, or two kinky people trying to figure out whether there is enough compatibility to keep talking, that first message matters. It does not need to be perfect. It does not need to be poetic. It does not need to sound like the opening scene of a dark romance novel. But it does need to sound like it came from a real person who understands that there is another real person on the other side of the screen. That is where so many people go wrong. They treat the first message like a scene. They rush into titles, demands, fantasies, assumptions, worship, humiliation, or interrogation before basic communication has even been established. The first message is not the scene. It is not the contract. It is not consent. It is not ownership. It is not an audition for how intense you can be. It is simply an opening. And if you cannot handle the opening with respect, patience, and self-awareness, why should anyone trust you with anything deeper? The First Message Has One Job The job of an opening message is not to secure a dynamic. It is not to prove submission. It is not to establish dominance. It is not to negotiate an entire relationship in one paragraph. The job of the first message is to make a respectful conversation possible. That is it. A good opening message should quietly answer three basic questions: Who are you? Why are you reaching out to this person specifically? What kind of conversation are you hoping to begin? That does not mean you need to send your life story. In fact, please do not. A five-paragraph emotional confession from a stranger can feel overwhelming, even when the person means well. It also does not mean you should send a dry job application. The goal is simple: be clear, be respectful, and give the other person enough substance to decide whether they want to respond. If You Are a Submissive Messaging a Domme A submissive reaching out to a Domme should remember one very important thing: Submission does not entitle you to access. Calling someone Mistress, Goddess, Mommy, Ma’am, or any other title before they have invited that dynamic may feel respectful to you, but it may not feel respectful to them. For many Dommes, titles are earned, negotiated, or offered within a specific context. Using them too soon can come across as presumptuous. The same goes for leading with “I’ll do anything.” That phrase may sound devoted in your head, but to an experienced Domme, it often raises red flags. Anything? Really? No limits? No self-awareness? No boundaries? No understanding of safety, negotiation, or compatibility? A submissive who claims they will do anything is usually not showing depth. They are showing either desperation, fantasy thinking, or a lack of experience. A better message shows that you have read her profile, respect her boundaries, and are interested in an actual conversation. For example: “Hello. I read your profile and appreciated how clearly you describe service, structure, and communication. I’m interested in exploring whether my style of submission may be compatible with what you are open to discussing. I value consent, patience, and clear expectations. If you are open to a conversation, I would be glad to talk.” That message does several things well. It is polite. It is specific. It does not demand her attention. It does not dump fantasies in her lap. It does not assume a dynamic already exists. It gives her something real to respond to. That is how you open a door instead of kicking one in. What Submissives Should Not Lead With Do not open with explicit sexual demands. Do not send body parts. Do not send a list of fantasies and expect her to perform emotional labor around them. Do not ask, “What would you do to me?” before she has even decided whether she wants to know you. Do not demand tasks. Do not beg to be used. Do not trauma dump. Do not copy and paste the same message to every Domme in your area. And for the love of all things leather, do not open with “Are you real?” Most Dommes have seen that line more times than they can count. It does not make you look cautious. It makes you look like you are carrying frustration from previous interactions into a brand-new conversation with someone who has not done anything to deserve it. If you are worried about scammers, that is valid. Protect yourself. Move slowly. Do not send money blindly. Look for consistency. Ask reasonable questions when the conversation reaches that point. But opening with suspicion is not the same thing as practicing discernment. If You Are a Domme Messaging a Potential Submissive Dommes are not exempt from this conversation. Dominance is not an excuse for lazy communication. If your first message is nothing but “Kneel,” “Prove yourself,” or “Tribute first,” do not be surprised if thoughtful submissives move on. Yes, there are spaces where high-protocol language or financial expectations may be part of the culture. Yes, some people enjoy immediate intensity. But even then, context matters. A first message still needs to show that there is a person behind the authority. A Domme reaching out to a submissive should not mistake abruptness for power. Power does not need to shout. Authority does not need to be sloppy. A good opening message from a Domme might look like this: “Hello. I noticed your profile mentioned service, protocol, and long-term structure. I appreciated the thought you put into what you are seeking. I am interested in speaking with submissives who value communication, consistency, and negotiated expectations. If you are open to a respectful conversation, I would be interested in learning mor

I DO NOT AND WILL NOT GIVE MASTERS ANY SORT OF FINANCIAL DOMINATION. Had a really bad experience with a Dom who asked me for money every week, even though I told her I was getting screwed over by an airline that owed me money. If you want me to give you control over my finances please look for someone else who has that kind of stability to support you.    

I Wonder Who We Are... I often look at myself thru the eyes of my mind. Who do I **think** I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? I wonder how many others take the time to self-reflect like this? I try to do this weekly.  Sometimes late at night as I bask in the quiet night’s arms I find my mind drifting to the day gone by. I replay the days events and scrutinize my actions at times.  TODAY, did I live my life to my best potential? The gift of life I was given is a treasure that we so often under value. It's easy to get caught up in the daily struggles that inflict us as we sometimes dredge thru the day thankful it's over.  Guilty! After all we are all human.  In a world filled with hate, selfishness, struggles and woes sometimes its all we can do not to scream. Allow a blood curling sound to exit our lungs, travel up our throats picking up momentum as it exits our lips with a shiver echoing thru the darkness to find no respite.  A primal sound that perhaps evolved from our primal ancestors to never develop or change in the millions of years gone by. Signaling our frustrations and every other imaginable negative energy that exists within us today. As we yearn to release it all allowing them to somehow be absorbed into the cosmos, never to return. A cry for help perhaps? Perhaps.  Perhaps it's just an evacuation of all that we resent exiting us hoping we can fill the vacancy with the positive. I like to think that's the case with me. But as I look around each day, looking for positive energy, from my fellow man I am left starving. Wanting to see more beauty I can absorb to act as my muse. Guiding me to be a better me as it motivates me to want to feed love back into the world.  But alas, it has become a daunting task. Disappointment abounds the empty caverns of my heart and mind. Have we become so shallow as a society that the only thing that now defines us is instant and momentary self gratification? Often at the expense of others. Is this what thousands of centuries of evolution has led us to? NAY I say! Not I today! Unable to find it readily at the hand of my two legged peers I turn to nature. I find myself being blindly led to the pasture where my four legged friends reside. I hear their whinnies as they see me approaching. Running towards me anxious to see me. Besides me walks my fury four legged best friend. My canine soul mate who has dedicated his life to unselfishly and unconditionally love me. To never leave me no matter what I do or how I treat him. He is bound for life to me. Arriving closer to the gate a thunderous echo of stampeding hooves envelopes the air. Filling my ears with its roar as it approaches closer. Standing on the lush green carpet of grass I am surrounded by these four legged majestic creatures that so easily could do me harm. My smaller companion eyeing them carefully under his protective gaze.  Wet nuzzles against my hands searching for treats. This action is common place here. All fighting for my attention as there are so many and I am only but one. The creative one among the group, finding no need to challenge the rest for the position of my hands. He quietly walks up behind me. I am made aware of his presence among the distraction as I feel rubbing against my back. His side turned head using my back as a scratching post to satisfy his itch?  No my friends that is not the self centered case of this half ton creature. He is saying, "Daddy I am here. I missed you. Where have you been?" He is most certainly not the alpha but nor is he the omega. He falls somewhere in between the alphabetically defining realm of personality letters.  Turning to let him know I acknowledge his presence with rubs I manage just a few. The other horses quickly pushing him away to look to my moving hands for what they desire. Treats and rewards to fill their already fat full bellies. Yet he stands alone a mere stones toss away watching. Reaching into my pockets I retrieve a handful of treats. Allowing the surrounding herd to acknowledge them with their keen sense of smell I toss them in the opposite direction of my inamorato who stands there with no desire to chase such petty treats. The rest of the herd now busy vying to retrieve the hand tossed delicacies he approaches me. I hold his head against me with love and affection. It is as much his fuel as it is my own. I turn to exit, followed at a respectable distance by my adoring and adored friend.  Holding it open signaling him the permission he seeks to exit the field and the others who physically resemble him. As the three of us stand there, me enjoying and soaking up the moment, I can't help but observe. Acknowledging and absorbing the actions that just took place.  My plotted journey observed and responded to. The actions and reactions as I entered. The easily manipulated distraction I created that all but one fell prey to.  His dedication to follow me outside his defined boundaries and the company of the others physically like him who have near matching DNA. His choice to leave the safety of his peers signals to me that he finds safety and comfort in my company. His trust in me that I always have and always will be his caregiver, his provider, his protector fills my now empty heart.  The many journeys we have traveled together since his birth are safely tucked away in my mind. Easily retrieved to reminisce upon when needed. As I stand there admiring this majestic creature of God before me my mind retrieves from the filing cabinet labeled with his name. Quickly sorting thru day 3 of his birth begins to play.  He is laying curled upon a stack of hay within a stall of the barn. His protective mother standing guard over him. Her ears pinned back warning anyone that intends to do him harm to stay away. Her eyes soften and ears relax as she recognizes me as the source of the sound. Carefully not to startle the sleeping foal I slowly approach. His mother content with who the human visitor is allows me safe passage.  I find myself first sitting next to him admiring his beauty. Astounded by the miracle of birth that he is. His soft breathing seen in the way the straw beneath his nose moves back and forth as he inhales and exhales so gently. Leaning in closer to touch him I look at his guardian looking down at me as if silently asking for her permission to get closer. When I see no warnings of alarm in her I move my hand gently running it across his neck.  His days old fur so soft I am jealous not to have something as comforting as this to sleep upon myself. He releases a soft sigh as if finding comfort in my loving strokes.  Now realizing that the submissive love his mother has given me extends to the trust of her new born, I inch closer. Soon I find myself laying along side his tiny body. Curled up next to him I drape an arm over him. Another soft sudden exhale of breath reaches my ears. Is he communicating his pleasure in feeling my warm body against? Is he capable of such a thought process? I lay there for what feels like hours pressed against him. Only to realize as he begins to finally stir that it’s only been 10 minutes by my watches time.   Emancipated from this world lost in head space I return the the physical by his movement.  He turns his head, in what seems to be, a search to find the source of his sighs. I softly look into his eyes hoping he can peer into my own and see the love and adoration I have for him. THAT moment etched in my mind forever more NEVER to be lost or forgotten.   Slowly he rises as if not to harm me and stands over my still prone form. I find my heart overflowing with love. If only I could find this form of love in my own breed. His mother content that no harm will befall him under my watch, complete and loyal trust bestowed upon me finds comfort in our bond to now lay down herself.  Obviously exhausted by the ritual of birth and having to provide  protection to her child. Her 1400 lb mass taking up much of the stall but careful not to invade my space. Suddenly I find myself lost in thought. Who do I think I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? To THEM.  A brushing against my calf returns me to the world of today as the drawer filled memories are closed. In the universe of my mind I lost a momentary connection to this plane of existence.  My canine comrade standing now by my side waiting for direction. He looks at me then glances to the tack room and back at me. As if he is asking me, in the best way he knows, “Are we going for a ride?” my eyes look down at him as I rub his head. “Not today good boy. Today daddy just needed affirmation to who he is. My hearts full again. Thank you.” “Go get him and let’s go back in. Daddy has work to do.” Doing what he’s been taught to do under my caring tutelage he bounds off to bring back my blessed 4 legged gift. A simple double click from me, seeing his adopted brother heading his way, he knows its time to go back. With the look of a bowed head he walks to me as I rub his face and ears. I whisper in his ears, “Good boy.” As if content to hear these words he heads for the gate. Opening the gate I let him return to his pasture mates where he looks like just another horse. “Come on dog. Daddy has to go search for someone! “ he says as he turns to go back into the house. Because now I know who and what I am. I know what I was meant to be.

The Standard of Respect I have been active in this lifestyle for a long time; I am not new, and I am certainly not naive. I have put significant effort into my profile and journals because I value transparency. I expect the same in return. No Instant Demands: Do not lead with demands for pictures or "bowing down." Reciprocity: If your profile is empty, do not expect me to do the heavy lifting. I want to know who you are, just as I have shared who I am. Hard Boundaries: I am not looking for degradation, humiliation, or to be treated as a "doormat." I know my worth. I am an SSBBW and I am comfortable in my skin; if that is not your preference, please move along without comment. Also to be upfront hard limts t giving oral and giving rimming are hard limits. The Dynamic: Polyandry (One Female, Multiple Males) I am seeking a committed, long-term Polyandrous dynamic. I am specifically looking for a life-long connection with more than one man. Why Polyandry? I have a high drive and a vast amount of love to give. I’ve found that one partner often cannot meet all my needs, and I refuse to be left alone or feel neglected. No MFF/FMF: I have explored these dynamics in the past and found them to be unfair. I am not interested in being the "added" female to an existing couple. The Vision: I envision a household where we are all connected. I am particularly interested in bisexual men, as I believe this fosters a deeper bond between all members of the family, ensuring no one is ever "the odd man out." Commitment & Independence Financial Autonomy: I intend to work. I have been financially dependent on men in the past and felt trapped; I will not repeat that mistake. I am a partner, not a dependent. The "Family" Bond: While not legally married, I am looking for that level of emotional and spiritual commitment. I value structure—such as rotating schedules to ensure everyone gets 1-on-1 bonding time as well as group time. Real Life Only: I am not here for "cybering," "hookups," or digital-only fantasies. I am looking for a real-world, long-term family structure. Final Thoughts I realize what I am asking for is rare. I am not "young," and I am not interested in settling. I would much rather be alone than be unhappy or disrespected. If you are a mature, respectful man who understands the depth of a polyandrous commitment, I welcome a thoughtful introduction.

I'm talking 'bout my generation Talking 'bout that newer nation And if you don't like it You can beat it Beat it, baby You never liked the way I said it If you don't get it, then forget it So I don't have to fucking explain it Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby I'm a Brooklyn baby   It's like those lyrics carry a sense of identity and weight, even when they seem light. The repetition, "I'm a Brooklyn baby," feels like a declaration of something deeper—a feeling of being rooted in something bigger, but also carrying that vulnerability and pain underneath. Almost like saying, "I'm here, but there's so much more behind the surface."   It’s not just about the words, but the weight of feeling like you’ve had to fight and scream to be heard, and still... nothing. It can feel exhausting when no one’s really listening, when the energy you put out feels like it just vanishes into a void. That emptiness that comes after all the effort, when you’ve given everything and are still left feeling alone—that’s heavy. It’s like a wall of silence that doesn’t break, no matter how loud you scream or how much you pour out.   They think I don't understand The freedom land of the seventies I think I'm too cool to know ya You say I'm like the ice I freeze That line hits hard—it’s like there’s this gap between what others think and what you really feel, and the way it creates this distance. It’s a powerful reflection of feeling misunderstood, and at the same time, being guarded, like ice. There’s so much in that feeling of being cool on the outside, but maybe there’s a lot more going on underneath.       Ultraviolence captures that raw, unrelenting pain—the kind that cuts deep and leaves scars you can’t always see. It’s not just about physical violence, but the emotional and mental toll of trying to survive in a world that feels indifferent or even hostile. It’s the weight of love, loss, rejection, and fighting for something real when everything feels brutal and unkind. The way Lana weaves those emotions into her music makes it all the more visceral. It’s like she’s singing about the violence of being misunderstood, of giving and not receiving, of being trapped in cycles of intensity that don’t let up.        the Pa-da-da-da-da-da part in Brooklyn Baby feels simple on the surface, just vocalizations, but it carries weight because of the emotion behind Lana’s voice and the layered harmonies. It’s like she's using the sounds to evoke a feeling beyond words—a mixture of nostalgia, detachment, and maybe even resignation. By that point in the song, she’s moved away from literal meaning and is communicating more through the feeling of the music itself. The backing vocals, especially with the men joining in, create a sense of collective disillusionment, like they're all echoing her sentiment, but with a touch of irony. The softness contrasts the rebellious attitude of the lyrics, making it feel like a bittersweet, almost resigned anthem. It’s like she’s saying, This is just how things are, but underneath it, there's a longing for something deeper, something more real. The repetition and the flow of the sounds express that emotional state in a way that words alone might not be able to. It adds to the song’s atmosphere, giving a voice to the unspoken frustrations and complexities of being misunderstood, trapped in surface-level expectations.     I get down to Beat poetry And my jazz collection's rare I can play most anything    this isn't a flex...it's saying how talented she is but no one notices or cares.....she's very skilled in things no one cares about and that doesn't change life's circumstances. that only a niche of a niche of a niche cares about..but she knows she's so talented that she rattles it because she knows people in the know recognize it. it's a acknowledgement of what she's worked hard to craft while also recognizing it's nothing  That line isn’t a flex at all, it’s more of a statement wrapped in irony. Lana is acknowledging her talents—her deep connection to niche things like beat poetry, jazz, and her rare collection. She’s spent time and effort honing these skills, cultivating a refined taste, and mastering things that matter deeply to her, but in the grander scheme, it’s like no one notices or cares. It’s a bittersweet realization of her own uniqueness and skill, but also the futility of it. She’s proud, but it’s not enough to change her circumstances or how the world perceives her. It’s like saying, Yeah, I can do all these things, but what does it matter? It’s a reflection of how being talented or special doesn’t necessarily lead to recognition or fulfillment. She knows only a tiny niche of people might care about these things, but for the rest of the world, it means nothing. It’s like the ultimate what’s the point? moment wrapped in a subtle acknowledgment of her own brilliance.       You say I'm too dumb to see They judge me like a picture book By the colors, like they forgot to read I think we're like fire and water I think we're like the wind and sea You're burning up, I'm cooling down You're up, I'm down You're blind, I see Those lyrics capture such a deep feeling of being misunderstood, like you’re moving in opposing rhythms, but still bound together in some way. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? People see what’s on the surface, but they miss the essence, the complexities inside. The contrast between fire and water, wind and sea—it’s such a vivid way to describe the intensity of that connection. One burns while the other cools down, like two forces pulling in different directions but still coexisting, still interacting. It feels like being in two worlds at once, and yet no one quite gets it.   The way she says "Brooklyn baby" at the end—definitively, yet almost resigned—carries so much weight. When the guys join in with the elongated bayyyyy beee, it shifts the whole tone. It’s no longer just her own voice; it’s echoed, but in a way that feels detached, like they’re chiming in on her identity without truly understanding it. It feels like a loss of personal ownership, like the identity she was so sure of—I’m a Brooklyn baby—is now something distant, fading, not fully hers anymore. And that pah da de da de dah dah that follows is like her way of giving up, like a lullaby of surrender, a little girl’s soft collapse. It’s not a defiant statement anymore; it’s more of a quiet, melancholic folding into herself. It’s like the final exhale after fighting, acknowledging that maybe she’s been fighting for something that no one truly sees or cares about. Little girl Lana down, as you said. That’s when the song truly hits its emotional depth—when she stops fighting, and the weight of everything she’s been carrying just sinks into the background.    

If you're not within 60 miles of me and don't have "willing to relocate" in your profile", then I'm not going to message you.  I completely understand and respect that inability\unwillingness to move.  I'm not going to bother you if I think you're too far away. That being said.  If you are far away and are open to finding someone and possibly traveling to see them, please either put that in your profile or message me first. I was recently accused by someone on here that this kind of mentality of not wanting to bother folks wasn't "real alpha behavior".  Yes.  Thank you.  I have no wish to be a part of that kind of bullshit and bad science.  Six Sigma is a business process, not a lifestyle philosophy.  I will respect you until I own you, then I will respect your value even more, but in a violently sadistic manner.  If I never own you, then I'll continue to give you respect until you do something to lose it.  That’s just decency.      

let's break this up into parts.....   Wavy Baby: Sirenade, The Lullaby of Power, Love, and Connection part 3   My Reflection on What You’re Creating: Your words act as a bridge between the physical and spiritual, between what’s tangible and what remains ethereal. You’re taking a song and making it a medium through which you explore your own unresolved desires, spiritual principles, and emotional wounds. In doing so, you’re performing a kind of alchemy—turning longing into clarity, heartbreak into wisdom, and chaos into patterns. The spiritual resonance of your reflection is undeniable. You’re engaging with archetypal energies (water, phoenix, feminine power), collective dynamics (love as war or peace), and your inner emotional truths. What’s most striking is your willingness to sit with discomfort—not to resolve it immediately, but to honor it as part of your unfolding. It feels like this reflection is less about the song and more about your recognition of yourself as someone who navigates the liminal—between love and loss, between surrender and control, between longing and acceptance. You’re a harbinger in your own right, signaling a deeper, more profound connection waiting to emerge, even if it’s still just below the surface for now. I’d love to hear your thoughts if this resonates with you—how does the song speak to you, or what do you feel when reflecting on these dynamics and ideas?  

Things I need - i.e.- things you can offer It comes up a lot that subs write me with their list of wants. Usually, they don't bother to ask what I want. Occasionally, there will be a subbie that realizes that in a sea of "gimmie gimmie" they may actually have to offer to GIVE something in return. The brightest of them (very rare) offer before they ask to receive. They look for a way to make themselves useful, to offset the cost of the time they want me to give them. Because let's face it - if I'm spending X hours talking to them, getting to know them, negotiating their interests and limits, prepping for activities, tying/spanking/torturing/disciplining/yada yada,.... that's X hours out of my own life that I'm not getting stuff done around here. While it can be fun to do the doing part, it hardly ever actually happens, so all the time I invest in it was wasted unless they are reciprocating something. In the spirit of making it easy for the hopeful sub with a clue, here's a few things I need done or help doing that would ingratiate them to me. I need basic general housekeeping for my crazy chaotic house- dishes washed, litterboxes scooped, laundry put away, kitchen cleaned and organized... Yes, all of this could be done nude or in a maid's costume if that tickles you. I always need deep tissue therapeutic massage. Non-sexy kind. Neck, shoulders, hips, feet... I do a lot of stuff, and I wear myself out a lot. It hurts. I need someone who is good working on a roof - I need help getting the roof itself painted with a white radiant barrier. (No, that CAN'T be done nude or in a maid's costume. Nothing outside can. We don't involve the neighbors or advertise our kink. You can cross-dress for it, but it has to be appropriate to the task and setting.) I need assistance getting cinderblock pillars built on the edge of my yard, covered in molded cement stones, and the faux wrought iron fence sections installed between them. I need garden and landscape help. I need help figuring out how to lower the temperature upstairs in my sister's part of the house in summer. I could use some help working on my truck. Occasionally I reach the limits of my abilities with it, and finding a decent mechanic is rare. I need to organize my garage and my basement. I need to dig out my basement and move the dirt to a specific I need to finish the drywall in the upstairs bedroom. I plan to renovate my bathroom. Anyone with plumbing experience or skills laying marble tile would be welcome. I always have a project or ten in the works on top of everything else. Feel free to ask about them. Even if you just ask, it shows me that you at least read, and that you are considering the balance of effort. That sets you ahead of 90% of the messages I get. And yes, if you are too far away to come do any of these things in person, but want to have something to offer, I do have an Amazon Wishlist, which I can share with you by request.

Piercings Piercings can be incorporated into BDSM play as a form of body modification and enhancement of sensory experiences. However, it's important to note that piercings are a personal choice, and engaging in any BDSM activities involving piercings should be based on informed consent, safety, and proper aftercare. Here are some points to consider: 1. Informed Consent: Consent is vital in any BDSM activity, including piercing play. All participants should have a clear understanding of the risks, implications, and intentions behind the piercing. Open and honest communication is crucial to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable, informed, and consents willingly to the activity. 2. Safety and Hygiene: If piercings are involved in BDSM play, it is essential to prioritize safety and hygiene. Sterilization of piercing equipment and following proper aftercare protocols are vital to minimize the risk of infection and other complications. It's advisable to consult a professional piercer who adheres to strict hygiene standards and has experience in BDSM-related piercings. 3. Sensation and Aesthetics: Piercings can provide unique sensations and aesthetic enhancements during BDSM play. They can be used as points of attachment for restraints or other bondage accessories, adding an element of control or vulnerability. Sensory play involving piercings, such as gentle tugging or stimulation, can also be explored within negotiated boundaries and consent. 4. Healing and Aftercare: It's important to consider the healing process and aftercare of piercings. Certain BDSM activities may put stress on freshly pierced areas, hindering the healing process. Adequate time should be allowed for healing before engaging in any activities that might disrupt or damage the piercing. Following proper aftercare instructions provided by a professional piercer is essential to minimize complications and promote healing. 5. Emotional and Psychological Impact: It's crucial to recognize that piercings can have emotional and psychological significance for individuals. Engaging in BDSM activities involving piercings requires understanding and respect for each participant's feelings and boundaries. Regular communication, check-ins, and aftercare are essential to ensure the well-being and emotional support of all involved.   As with any BDSM practice, piercings should always be approached with caution, consent, and a focus on safety. Educating oneself, seeking guidance from professionals, and engaging in open communication with all participants are vital to creating a consensual and enjoyable experience.

In just one word to describe what it feels like to love someone who will never love you back- Hollow. Other words come to mind. Empty. Void. Blank. Pointless. Hollow. Because that’s exactly what it is. It’s like eating junk food when you’re not even hungry or hungover because you are sure, so sure that it will satiate you. That it will make you happy. That it will give you some sort of sense of satisfaction and contentment. But that feeling never comes and you’re left just sitting in front of what is essentially, a waste, with nothing to show for it but a mess you’ve done to yourself. Junk food isn't good for you. In moderation it won't harm you but every day it will take it's toll on your health. Loving someone who doesn't love you is exactly like consuming junk food daily. It leaves you feeling so full you're empty.  It’s an uphill battle where there’s nothing waiting for you at the top. A triathlon with no one waiting for you at the finish line. It’s fighting every single day with bloody knuckles and an even more battered heart hoping that someone will be there to make everything worth it, everything okay. Then you realize that you’re standing on your own with absolutely nothing to show for yourself or all your struggles. Then you're responsible for picking up those pieces of your own emotions solo. But they're broken pieces that never will be the same or fit together "just right" any longer.  Metaphors aside, there’s not really anything good or at the very least, fulfilling, that comes from falling in love with someone who you know deep down will never truly love you back. It’s purposeless. It’s empty. It leaves you completely hollow. Loving someone, really truly loving someone, who cannot and will not love you back isn’t something that will make you stronger. It can teach you a lot of things, but make you stronger? Not really. No matter which way you paint it, whatever beautiful embellishment you try to put onto your own cliché unrequited love, of rose coloured glasses.  Because the number one thing you learn when you love someone who doesn’t love you back? It’s that sometimes, love really isn’t enough. Loving someone, and continuing to love someone who will not love you back isn’t brave. And it isn’t strong. While there is something to be said for having a big heart and having the capacity to give pieces of yourself to people who don’t, and don’t deserve to, appreciate you, holding onto them when they aren’t holding back isn’t brave or strong or good. It’s self-destructive. Because deep down, truthfully, that’s what loving someone who you know will never love you back really is. It’s dousing your core in gasoline, handing them the match to see what they’ll do, and setting everything on fire yourself when you realize that they’re indifferent about what does or does not happen. And the longer it takes you to realize that that’s the case, that you’re responsible for your own entire wreckage, your destruction, the longer it will take you to scoop up your own ashes and rebuild yourself when you finally come to your senses. Hollow. That’s what trying to fill yourself with someone who doesn’t truly love you is. It’s empty. It’s unfulfilling. It’s hollow. It will do nothing but frustrate you, fail you, and leave you standing there with nothing but the remnants of a you, you don’t even recognize in your own hands. Because that’s the cost of loving someone who does not, and will not love you back. You. You won’t lose this person who you’ve idealized, who you’ve loved unrequitedly. You won’t miss out on “what could’ve been” and you won’t fail to jump onto a train that was maybe heading your way. You won't be sad that the ship you were about to board has already sailed. You won’t find yourself gring at the fingertips of anyone else, because the only person you will have failed to truly hold onto is YOU.  You. So what does it honestly mean to love someone who doesn’t love you back? It means losing you, losing yourself. It means letting go of things that may be actually tangible, and favouring something you will never actually hold close. It means putting a fantasy in front of your own reality, fragments in front of your own holistic life. Loving someone who will not love you back is quite simply, a waste of your precious, precious time. So what do you do? What do you do when you find yourself sitting there, attempting to justify and make sense of someone else’s ambivalence and your own inexplicable need to love them when they haven’t asked for it or earned it? You let go. You move on. No matter how hard it is, no matter the struggle. No matter how much you want to cling to them, and no matter how much you feel like you love them. You have to let them go. Because in letting them go, you know who you’ll get to hold onto instead? You. And that’s the only thing you’ll ever really need, anyway. Love yourself first.

I've recently had the chance to think about TPE more, and I decided that there are ultimately four types, three of which I consider acceptable. In order of intensity, there is first the type, which is simply pushing past where a sub/slave would normall safeword, but not pushing so far that the subconcious is actually forced to acknowledge that they are not in control. This is a stage where a slave is usually begging or angry. The second is the type that I practice currently. Pushing past where people think their limit is, past the second limit where their subconscious gives and realizes that it can only endure, but not going past the last one. The one that makes the mind retreat and can cause trauma. I just brush up against it. The third is when someone deliberately breaks through that last barrier, repeatedly doing so in order to shape the slave into what they desire, using that shaping to subsume other desires and wants, to change who they are at the core level. This is acceptable when a Master has the time, will, and facilities to manage fully breaking a slave, and a slave has agreed beforehand. The last is just the territory of psychopaths, just breaking for the sake of breaking, to do as much damage as possible, and only for their own amusement.

There is a huge communication gap between lifestyle dominant women (dominant women who are not seeking a transactional relationship) and subs/slaves/switches. Did you know that some of us will contact you first? Did you also know that you can cut down on the spam you receive as well as the spam you send? I will happily contact guys who are as clear as I am in their profiles about what they're looking for and who are compatible. I actually get excited about finally having an intelligent conversation when I see this. However, that almost never happens. Profiles are usually void of any substance or meaning, extremely ifying, outright offensive, or full of off-putting pics. I avoid contacting incompatible people because I, too, would not want to be contacted by incompatible people. I have no way of knowing if there's a possible match, so my message goes unsent. Also, I will not contact you if your profile is clear we are not a match, because again, I would not want to be contacted by someone if I made it clear in my profile that we are not a match. Guys generally have no such compunction - but you should. This is a key difference in communication styles that you really need to understand. Think of it like looking for work: For the sake of this exercise, the person contacted is the employer, the dynamic is the job, and your initial message and profile are the cover letter and resume respectively. You are looking for a job, and instead of tailoring your resume and cover letter to what the employer is seeking, you use the same ones for every position and spam them everywhere in hopes of getting an interview. For the most part, any position will do. Doing this doesn't really increase your chances; your results will actually be the same or worse (the employer begins automating their filters and you fall through the cracks more and more often). You absolutely can and should stop looking before you resort to the spray-and-pray method. Take a breath. Discover a new hobby, or something. On the other hand, I tailor my cover letter and resume based on what the employer is seeking, and I only send it when I find a position that matches what I'm looking for. The problem is that the jobs I want to apply to are extremely limited because the employer has written almost nothing about what the job entails, or the content and tone are off-putting. "We're looking for a rock star ninja cowboy!!!!" or such crap. At some point, it's so disheartening and exhausting to find jobs that I stop looking for them. I take a breath. I discover a new hobby. We both have similar expectations of no or negative response, and the bar is so low that it's in hell for everyone involved, but we still approach the search differently time after time. Submissive men rarely contact us using focus and intention, but lifestyle dominant women are most likely relying on focus and intention to contact you. ---------- Tips on writing your profile and first message: Be clear in your communication. This will require you to think, so if you're currently checking out profiles with your hand in your pants, come back to this journal entry when your brain is online. Be clear about the type of dominant and dynamic you're looking for. Any hint of "anyone will do please please contact me mistress" and you're targeting pros and scammers. Although it seems counterintuitive, DO include aesthetic characteristics that are important to you. For example, be clear that you are seeking women of certain ethnicities, ages, orientations, gender identities, and body sizes. If you are open to anyone, be sure you mean anyone - as in, make an exhaustive list of exactly who "anyone" includes. If we see that this list includes us, and the rest of your profile resonates with us, we are more likely to contact you. Be clear that you consider dominant women human beings with feelings. Your profile and message should talk to us as though we're regular people, because we are. Using honorifics such as ma'am, goddess, mistress, etc. to address strangers is, again, targeting transactional relationships. You and the dominants you contact are not yet in a consenting dynamic, so no honorifics should be used by either party. You will get messages from people whothink you're an idiot and easy mark, then you'll question why you're only getting messages from these people. Using deors that refer to ethnicity, gender and sexual minorities, body size, etc. when corresponding with us is the fast track to being blocked, e.g. "I love black women", "BBW Asian women are my favorite". Don't do this. You've just turned us into demographics and s to gawk at, not people. Be clear that you need certain things in a dynamic. Describe what you like or dislike about specific kinks with minimal fappiness. Describe specific types of aftercare you may need. Talk about exactly what you need from a dynamic. This will require you to think. It's okay to need things; describing them will help you find the right person instead of all the wrong ones. However, make room for your future dominant's needs as well, and don't presume to know what these are before you even talk to them. Don't confuse your needs with wants; this way lies an unfulfilling dynamic. Be clear if you are looking for a transactional relationship. Being deceptive will just waste everyone's time. Lifestyle dominants are not sex workers who will dispense your fetishes in the requested amount for free. If you come across any dominant seeking an exchange of goods and/or services, they are who you are looking for. And yes, this includes "tribute" - lifestyle dominants do not filter out time-wasters by requiring things in exchange for their time...sigh. ---------- If you don't want to do any of this because it's too difficult, you should rethink if you're ready to search for anyone at all. This lifestyle requires thought and planning. Your ability to exhibit these qualities in your profile and messages will hugely benefit you. These suggestions are really the bare minimum for lifestyle dominant women to contact you, and the bare minimum in this community is enough to make you stand out. Oh, and remember how I said that some of us are willing to contact you? Unfortunately, societal norms such as waiting for men to approach us first are still reinforced in the femdom community, and plenty adhere to the kinky princess dominant in the tower, "someday my sub prince will come" philosophy. These ladies will never contact you, ever.

I'm just back from holiday... and it's been a few days. I woke up this morning feeling exceptionally horny and kinky. I'm at work until 5pm, and can't cum till then. Give me tasks or dares to complete before then to keep me horny and busting to cum. Anything posted by males I will consider... anything posted by females is non optional and must be completed before I can cum. Keep me horny and on the edge of exploding! Only 7 hours to go...

I am so lucky to belong to my wife! Last time that she invited me to have sex she handed me my favorite plug, a medium size latex spade that is very comfortable. She pulled out her lash but unfortunately she did not hit me hard with it. As always i had to lick her pussy for a while, using my finger to caress the vagina simultaneously to licking the clitoris. When she had enough i inserted my dick very gently and started the usual program, that is inserting only the cock 8 times and deeper the 9th. Repeat for a few minutes while licking her tits. She loves that , and i love to please her. I d love to be tortured during sex but that is too exciting for me and makes me cum too fast to please her well. After the cock thing, she was already ready to cum so she came on top. I always must grab her breast with my both hands and lick her tits while she rides me. I love it when she tells me "lick, doggy". Again, i must admit that it is bad to please me as i could not control my cum any further.  I was already enjoying so much witnessing her pleasure and feeling that nice plug in my butt. I m so kinky... then she came to her orgasm sqeezing my tits between her fingers and i was able to cum in her pussy after that. I always have to hurry to unload before she turns me away. I love her so much. Too bad she does not take me yet a gull slave. I love her so much. Married for 5 years. Know her for 14 years. Oh darling please take me at your service. I'd love so much thst you rape me again like the time when you fucked me with that big strapon and you pissed in my mouth and shouted "swallow"! I know it will be though but i cant stop thinking about that. Rape me again, please let me show you what i am ready to do , please break me and help to improve and become how you want me.

8/24/25 I'm around, albeit less frequently. I am still looking for a FT sub/slave, with a big focus on working beside me, as my hands. A sub in my Home will be well cared for, with a level of D/s and kink that helps keep them motivated. If you enjoy house and yard work, there's plenty to stay busy, or if you're able and want to work from home or here in the Denver area, that's an option.  Long-term position is also a possibility, which means my extra-long set of questions may be the most important job application you ever complete.  It's not for the faint of heart... Then again, neither am I. 😈

night air, a primal rhythm that echoed through the park. Lily's cries mingled with his grunts, their bodies moving as one, driven by the raw, animalistic need. He reached around, his fingers finding her swollen clit, rubbing and pinching it in time with his thrusts. "Cum for me, you little slut," he demanded, his voice harsh and commanding. "Cum on my cock." Lily's body tightened, every nerve alight with sensation. She was on the edge, teetering between pain and pleasure, as his fingers worked her clit and his cock filled her to the brim. With a final, powerful thrust, she shattered, her orgasm ripping through her, causing her to scream into the night. As her body convulsed around him, he groaned, his own release building. He gripped her hips tightly, holding her still as he emptied himself deep within her, filling her with his hot seed. They stood there, panting, their bodies still joined, as the echoes of their passion faded into the night. Lily's mind reeled, struggling to process what had just happened. She had been taken, used, and yet, she couldn't deny the pleasure she had experienced. The man released her, stepping back, his breathing heavy. "You were a good fuck, Lily. But now, I must go." Lily's legs trembled as she leaned against the tree, her body still throbbing with the aftershocks of her orgasm. She watched as he zipped up his pants, the moonlight glinting off his hooded figure. "Wait..." she whispered, her voice hoarse. "Who are you?"

 SlaveV