Getting back into kinky dating after a very long term relationship that went south. I find myself needing to rediscover my kinks. There are many activities that I haven't done in years. I don't know if I still like doing them. Also there are things that I only enjoyed with one submissive and I have no idea right now if it was just that unique dynamic or changing tastes. The good news is that I still have the knowledge, if not all the equipment. This might be a good thing, since I have the excitement of something new without the dangers of ignorance..
So, who am I? In the online kink community, I go by Weasel Welder. I am a professional in a rarefied field and career would be in danger if my preferences were known. So no public photos. If this is a deal breaker for you, I hope you find someone else. I travel the southeast a moderate amount and value my work. Currently, I live with my cats. They take care of me.
In my free time, I enjoy full frontal geekery, from tabletop gaming of almost all varieties, to sci-fi books and movies, to ren fairs and all the associated hobbies. I'm an avid hobbyist woodworker, an indifferent tailor, a very novice leatherworker, and an acceptable maker with other materials as well. I enjoy fishing, hiking, camping, boating, and other outdoor hobbies.
Kink, I enjoy using restraints on my partner. Rope use has been a joy. In the past I've enjoyed sensation play, sensory deprivation, paddles, spanks, wax, scratches, orgasm control (not denial), ice, clothespins and clamps, plugs and toys, outdoor bondage, the clubs, bites, mint, cuffs and chains, and sex. I suffer from bad top drop at times, so aftercare snuggles are non-negotiable.
I know that what I want will change from partner to partner. My BDSM dynamic is dynamic, who knew?
My hard limits, and yes tops get hard limits too, are anything beyond my SSC threshold. So no age play, knives, guns, scat, blood, needles, brands, breathing impediments, or the like. There must always be a safeword, even if gags are involved. Vaxxed or go away.
What do I want in a sub? Someone who enjoys their kinks with me, someone who will be honest with me, even when being honest is scary, someone who trusts me, because I am me and I an worthy of trust. I want a sub that can take care of themselves, will let me take care of myself, and can take care of me and be taken care of when needs or desires call for it. Someone old enough to know what they want and young enough to still believe that they can have it.
This is important, if I've viewed your profile, particularly if I've viewed it several times, and I didn't message you it doesn't mean that I'm not interested. I'm real good at talking myself out of meeting new people and even better at flipping through profiles when I really don't have the time to compose a message. Why not message me first?
Getting serious about finding myself a new significant other. Also really want to give up on vanilla dating sites. I wish this was well really useable at all anymore.
Feel free to read my other journal entries. Just keep the date I wrote them in mind. I'm less shy about my sexuality now, although I still won't post a public photo on here for professoinal reasons. What I need and want has changed, and it will change in the future as well I'm sure.
I'm also less eager to inflict sappy poetry on people without consent.
Oh you wonderful women, why do you always decide to message me when I start seeing someone? Yet vanish when I'm single? I think I sent all of you an e-mail, but if I didn't my bad.
A couple of recent e-mail exchanges have made me realize that I haven't been explicit enough in what I want out of a kink relationship. So here it goes.
The obvious isn't going to happen. No animals, no kids, no bathroom, no permanent damage. I don't do needles, knives, or blood. I won't set you on fire. I won't take the skin off your rear with a single tail.
I won't submit, sorry switches, the Weasel brain doesn't work that way.
I prefer giving stingy and pinchy pain to thuddy pain, and prefer full spectrum sensation play to either.
I am not a rope snob, so I won't spend $300 on special magic bondage hemp. I don't do head down suspensions, and my hard point is above my bed, not above a tile floor. My rope style is more modern fusion than shibrai and on the European side of fusion at that.
BDSM is sexual to me, so while not always a requirement, sex is often a component. I don't do poly, I don't share at all.
I enjoy the clubs on occasion and I'd like to go to more munches than I do, but I am not going to trumpet to all my friends and coworkers that I am kinky. Nor am I going to every club every week, 24/7 Lord Hugecock Domly Dom. I am myself, and this is only a facet of who I am.
You always, always, ALWAYS get a safeword. You do not get to pretend that you're being "punished," what we do is for both of our pleasure.
I'm not your daddy, I'm not a daddy dom, I do not want, like, or desire that dynamic.
If I only had one fetish, it would be rope work.
Before you hang from my ceiling squealing in ecstasy, we will have a vanilla relationship. That to me does include sex.
I want a dominance and submission dynamic. While I do enjoy the occasional spank, I am far from a sadist.
I don't freaking share. If you're getting out of a marriage, great, message me after the divorce finalizes.
I travel a lot. If you can't be without your dominant for lengths of time, it won't work between us for very long.
And exhale. There's more to this, but I'm tired.
Back home. Never more have I wanted a service submissive in a frilly apron and a mop.
That may be the most jackass dominant thing I have even written.
Oh and a quick note about my other picture: never, ever lose the sense of your own absurdity.
Starting to cross-post from that BDSM social networking site that this BDSM dating site is so threatened by.
I posted this in August of 2009 on collarme. At the time, I didn't think much about it, I was just stream of consciousness writing and like everyone else at one AM posting to the internet. Now though, I realize that it encapsulates my view of myself in D&S. I don't press my dominance on others, I offer it and move on without regret if it is refused. I still don't know if this makes me more normal, weirder, or what.
I have never made any claims to normality, even in this community.
*********
That's all it really takes. No pain, no slaps, no hair pulling, no yelling, no names, only one word.
I stroke your jaw line, gently raising your face. Lock eyes with you. Put into that gaze all the heat and lust and passion and pleasure and possession that I have for you. Feel the breath catch in your throat as you see the promise of what is coming.
One word.
"Kneel."
You will kneel. If you want to. If you want to submit. To me. Then you will know all that pleasure, all that passion, all that possession that I have for you.
Or you will not kneel, because you don't want what I promise. Maybe you never wanted what I offered. Maybe you didn't realize you didn't want to submit until after that moment had come. So you won't submit. Do you know what? That's okay. If you don't want to submit to me, then I don't want you to submit to me.
One Word. That's all it takes.Tell the future. Change the past. Just one word.
At this point, I really want to go back to Florida. Two months.
I don't lie. This may be one of my biggest faults.
Now, I'm not talking about the little things, the "I'm stuck in traffic" level of fibs. Those are just social grease. I'm talking about the big ones. You know, "I'm angry at you" or "you have hurt me" and one that is kind of only relevant here "you've made the decision to let me make the decisions."
Now that's one that can cause problems. I'm not punishing you, I'm spanking you because you like being spanked and I like spanking you. I am not commanding your submission, I'm accepting it. You always have your NO and yes, when you use it, it always means no. What we do is not because I demand it, we do this because it brings us both pleasure, even if that pleasure on your part is only in granting another's desires.
Well, my first real journal entry in a while. Feels good to get on the soapbox again.
So, my kitten has decided that she's vanilla. By itself, this wouldn't be an insurmountable issue, but... well we have been having issues. I don't know if it's over, but I find myself looking at the personals again.
I'm not sure, but I think that this comic has officially expressed my view of most of the "lifestyle." Also, it's hilarious. http://bdsmbadadvice.com/
In related news, I'm good, my kitten's good, and I have found that I can not say "the lifestyle" without fingerquotes.
I may have found her.
We've been dating two weeks and I'm already writing that. That's scary, but in a good way.
She's not what I was looking for, she's what I wanted, maybe needed. In the last place I ever would have thought to look.
And sooner or later, she'll remember what her CM password is and read this. And then, nose nibbling.
Every time I see someone on here going on about how the way they see the world is "the natural" way humanity works, I get a headache. Male dominance is "natural." Female superiority is "the obvious way nature designed us." Dominance and submission is the way "we're supposed to be."
I hate to break it to all of you, but humanity isn't natural. We've been defining ourselves through our cultures, our technology, who we care for and who we discard over what was natural longer than our ancestors have been Homo Sapiens.
Honestly, there's been over a half century of documented, in person descriptions of almost every gender interaction conceivable between humans and they all work just as well, or poorly, as every other one. A large portion of it is published in forms that a layperson could easily understand.
Get over it. Dominant males are both. So are dominant females. Dominant has nothing to do with sex, gender, or sexuality. You are you and it's okay to be you without you being what you're destined to be. You are your own fault. Don't blame God, or gods, or genetics, or your parents, or that fifth grader that spanked you and tied you to a tree in grade school. You are our own responsibility.
You may start screaming in fear now.
I am seized with a desire to explain why I won't do what I won't do. No real reason, I just want to explain it to myself, and give you a better image of me. ? Knife/needle/breath play: ? I am missing a bit of the tip of my right thumb. The pinky of my left hand has a tendon with damage. I have lost count of the small scars I have received from cuts. All that is while trying to NOT cut myself. Almost all of my anatomy education has been post-mortem and forensics, so I know just how dangerous sharp things near sensitive areas are. I?m probably more jumpy about this than I need to be, but then again, I?m also more dominant than I need to be too. ? Gags: ? Now, I will play with gags, it?s a simple and effective (not to mention fun) way of taking away your control without permanent harm. However, I?m not willing to cut off your speech until after we?ve been partners long enough for me to differentiate between the ?Mmmm-mmm-mmm? that means ?that was an intense orgasm? and the ?Mmmm-MMMM!? that means ?blood is no longer flowing in my left arm.? I rather like my subs having as many limbs as they showed up with. ? Getting to know you: ? I will know you as a person and as a woman before I have you as a submissive. Part of that is that I?m not just looking to fuck. The rest is that, even if/when I am just looking for a kinky fuck, I like not getting arrested for rape the next day. I need to know, for my protection as much as for yours, that you know what you?re agreeing to. If you have some stranger kidnap fantasy you want to play out, it won?t be with me. ? Anything permanent beyond piercing or tattoos: ? I mentioned that I like my submissives to be as physically able as they were when they came to me, didn?t I? That covers a lot of this one. As far as deliberate artistic scaring and branding go, I?ve had a lot of friends have bad experiences with those getting messed up during the healing process. ? Tattoos and piercings are something I am of two minds about. On one hand, I find them to be fun at times and often artistically pleasing. On the other, I?ve never found something that I personally wanted permanently on my body. ? As far as cell popping and other artistic bruising go, I?ve never really played with it, but it seems like a lot of work for something that could be accomplished with a sound spanking and a thing of henna. I?m willing to listen to other opinions though.
In unrelated news, I'm working on an post entitled "Feminism and the Dominant Male." I hope to have it done soon, but I'm taking my time with this one, since it quite possibly will be the most important thing I will post here. Well, unless you count the line "I found the one, biznitches" which I hope to post eventually. I don't really have to write that one well though.?
There is a file on my computer named "blogs I'll never post." This really should go in there. ? I'm a nice guy, I really am. Sometimes, I know that I'd get more action if I were a jerk just looking for rough sex. Sometimes, I look around and see that if I asked for someone to just use and abuse, keep as a fuck toy, I'd get one. Sometimes, I want to be that guy. Sometimes, like now. ? Plan to meet up at a hotel in the middle of nowhere. Just a "hello" or a kiss and a "remember your safe word?" Grab your hair, throw you to the bed and strap your arms together before you you can go "eep." Flip you over, rip you clothes off, and just take you. Just take you, no qualifiers, and leave you gasping. ? I don't look for? this because I want more. I also want someone to snuggle and wake up next to. I want someone to show the beauty I have seen in this world and see it again through their eyes. Make passionate love on the beach, far from another soul, and watch the sun come up with you in my arms. ? I'm here, not on eharmony or something, because I want both. I want it all. I want dinner and dancing and you hanging from my ceiling. I want a massage and to give aftercuddle. Here I may find it. I don't expect to find it all, but here I may find at least some of it. ? This post, by the by, is inspired by about eight women over the past three weeks messaging me out of the blue to tell me that I sound great, but they're either taken or can't offer me what I'm looking for. I guess at least I get real people messaging me, which puts me ahead of the curve for dominant males around here. I guess.
Still and all, let me say this: I am not expecting perfect. I don't see that as "settling." Someone to have fun with that wouldn't be my ideal life mate isn't a bad thing. It'd be someone to have fun with.
WARNING: This post is not from my usual happy persona (whom I shall call Spankies the dominant clown). This is a rant.
Okay, so I'm looking through the recent journals last night and I trip over two profiles that say they're giving up on dating entirely. One actually threatens that if she's not married in 27 days (this is in the profile, not a journal so no time stamp) she will forever give up on men dating and sex and become an asexual hermit. Today, another one hops up with a "if you want me, message me now or I'll delete my account" threat. All of them whine about people messaging them about their drama queening and that they don't understand whyyyyy their knight in shining armor hasn't plucked them off their feet yet.
As a knight in shining armor myself, I have this response:
FUCK OFF, BITCH.
You make me want to hit you, and not in a good way. You have no grasp of the fact that you are the problem. You act like one of those needy little subgirls that want their daddy dom to take perfect care of them and get them a pony, except that most sub girls know that it's just a scene. You're holding your breath until someone does things your way or you'll take your breasts and you're going home. You read dom as do things for you. In fact, it's all about you. Guess what:
You're the problem, asshat.
Want to know why you only get the assholes? It's because only people who want to break and remake you into something people can stand are going to message you.
**If it looks like there's something missing here, that's because there is. Suffice it to say that sometimes I edit my evil side out of the equation**
I'm a good man. A knight in shining armor. Protector. Dominant. Lover. Man.
There's a banner ad on the right of my screen right now. It reads "Explore the dark side of BDSM." Apparently, BDSM is something nobody has ever examined the dark side of before. ? Also, what if I don't want to play with the dark side? Sure, they have cookies, but everyone wants to play dark, and evil, and spooky. I'm quite happy exploring the happy fluffy bunny bright side of BDSM. If nothing else, it has the advantage of being rare. ? "My submission is a gift" go so many people here. I agree, but that means that I won't take it. You have to give it to me. You have to admit that you want me to wrap you in the tight, restricting, sun drenched silk of my dominance. I'm going to make you do this. "Please, take me, let me be yours." Before I let you beg, I'm going to make you ask.
Come to the light side, we have CUPCAKES!
I've heard tell of dominants who have their submissives sleep on the floor, or in a cage, or in the other room. ? That doesn't get to happen with me. ? You are mine. My submissive. Mine to cuddle and keep warm. Mine to protect and surround. Mine to lead, not into danger nor into despair. ? Mine to have, and mine to hold. ? I am yours too. Your dominant. Yours to trust and to relax into. Yours to pamper and to be unafraid. ? Yours to cherish, yours to honor. ? Mine not to punish, not on my whim nor for my desire. ? Mine nonetheless. ? Come to bed.
On profile changes: ? I've switched up a few things here. First, I've fixed a couple of niggling grammar errors that were bugging me. Second, I've labeled myself "willing to relocate." I'm not particularly tied to Tampa, and I can call almost anywhere "home" and still do my job, so for the right woman who WAS tied to her location, I'd move. It'd really have to be THE right one though. ? On flattery: ? A friend on here has found parts of my journal and profile good enough to quote. I am both humbled and elated by this. ? On bad habits: ? I am not perfect by any means. One of my faults is my e-mail habits. I'm even worse on here I'm discovering. I suspect that because I want everything in a message as perfect as possible (it's all you have to judge me by after all) I over analyze everything forever. All I can say is "my bad." ? On furniture: ? Okay, this is a build-up, but why does all BDSM equipment look like it's either middle-ages surplus or was made as cheaply as possible? This is porn, designs on this site, and things I've seen in the clubs too, it isn't just things people have in their homes. There are more finishes than burned pine, C grade lumber and slathered in rusting agent you know. ? I want to see something made in natural oak (or at least a veneer) with a hand polished finish. One of those satin gleams that you only get by making someone polish the piece for hours on end. ? Hell, I did furniture repair in high school. If I though there was enough of a market for it, I'd start building this stuff. Only problem is that high-end furniture does not flat pack, shipping the stuff would be too costly.
To describe my ideal scene, I am forced to resort to obscure analogy. If you're
watched "The Dresden Files" TV show, I think you know where I'm going
with this. If you haven't, and you need more background than I'm about to give
you, it's on Hulu.
?
Anyway, the Innocent Child (TM) is surrounded by a dozen Dark and Foreboding
characters, oblivious to the danger. As another heavily makeupped figure enters
the frame, the music quickly reaches the climax as horror of horrors the camera
trails down to!!!
?
The whipped cream he offers for the kid's banana split. The Hero (and Villain)
come in later.
?
That is pretty much my perfect first scene. I pull up, a tall not unhandsome
stranger, in a silver luxury car. I slide you into the passenger seat. Buckle
you in. Slip onto you a pair of blacked out sunglasses (for the record, my
favorite form of public blindfold). Drive you around; you know not where until
suddenly I stop, take off your glasses and as your eyes adjust, you find that
I've taken you to!!! A local hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant. Or Thai if
you like pain. ;)
?
That's my first scene. Even the blindfold's optional. I am a dominant, but I
know what seduction is. I enjoy that play, the first gentle touch, the earning
of your trust and the communication that can not be done in words but must be
said with the eyes. That shiver down your spine inspired only by my smile.
?
That's my first scene. What' the second scene? Is there a second scene? Well
that depends entirely on you.
Okay, after a number of months, the collarme admins removed my white square profile pic, which I impressionistically titled "Dominant Descending Staircase." That's my story and I'm sticking to it. ? The point is, I need a new profile pic. As I've mentioned before, there are people on here that know people I have/will work for and don't know how to keep their mouths shut. I'm not willing to lose a job because I'm kinky in this economy. Therefore, a head shot is out. Crotch shots are out for purely aesthetic reasons, mainly my lack of desire to look at my own crotch every time I log in. So here are my options: ? A shot with my face blurred out. I kind of feel that this sends a "date me for my body" message though. ? A picture of some semi-intricate knot work. I'd do this one on a neutral backdrop, with no well, body parts in the shot. ? An old comic sketch of someone that looks somewhat like me. ? A personal sigil. I'd probably use a rose growing out of a knot here. ? A Futurerama still. You know, giving it a "hit from the spice weasel." ? A photo of my cat. ? ? I welcome all ideas, suggestions, and comments that aren't pure asshattery.
EDIT: It took about 30 seconds for the first response, and well, that's about what you want I guess. I received a message pointing out that Weasel boy up there would attract humor inclined people, and I can't argue with that logic. I'll probably throw up a knot pic or two though (my first actual idea) just for the sake of it.
You know what really Grinds My Gears? ? People on here who have only shots of their faceless bodies and bitch about messages that start out "nice ass." ? People that request photos of me when I don't have a head shot of them available. ? The people who are in "the scene,"don't know how to keep their yaps shut, and know some employers of mine. For the record, that's why I don't have a photo up. ? People who say they want someone "attractive." Not because they want someone they find physically attractive, hey at least it's honest, but because they don't say what they find to be physically attractive. ? That's about all for tonight. I have been thinking about another semi-biographical, semi-fictional piece of prose though. Thus far, I've done fear and submission. Right now, anticipation, desire, and angst are all running through my head.
Is it just me, or do some concepts in BDSM seem like bad mad science operas? "I am your master, and you must obey me!*" If that one doesn't work as well in real life as it does in the movies, there's something wrong with the world. ? Seriously and for reals kids, I read other dom profiles now and then, and they generally fell into one of three categories. People like me, people who have a partner, and people who act like they're 14 and want to fuck someone who just lies there. If I just wanted to fuck a dead fish, I'd just go to Food Lion. It'd be cheaper and less stressful than dating. ? Submissive doesn't mean passive. I've written the rest of this paragraph five times now, but there's nowhere else I can go with that statement. Submissive doesn't mean passive. You can be submissive and anything else you want to be. ? ?
? "Each Bison dollar will be worth five British pounds, once I KIDNAP THE QUEEN!" Okay, I really don't have an excuse for this one, but now you won't be able to have a kidnap the princess scene without laughing or at least without me laughing. I love bringing joy into the world.
*Read this line in an Invader Zim voice. Or imagine your top saying it in an Invader Zim voice.
On age:
I'm 30. As a general rule, I picture any serious relationship being with someone within 5 years of me. This isn't a hard and fast rule, but you 19 year olds, particularly the ones "with 5 years experience," I'm fairly sure you're a bit immature. Similarly, those old enough to be my parents, I'm probably too immature. ? I'm not actively looking for anything casual, but I'm not opposed to casual on principle or anything. Even if I don't expect it to go anywhere though, I do desire a certain amount of... decorum? maturity? I don't know. Whatever the case, you must be this old to ride. ? On experience:
If real-world experience matters, I've got only about two years. I think that my experience matters, since I am the one doing things that might get someone hurt. Since I don't enjoy the really dangerous stuff, it doesn't matter that much. Also, I have a better than normal anatomy background, and thus know what to avoid. ? Your experience doesn't matter a tinker's damn to me. I'm not a normal top/dom/master/daddy/grand high pohaba and I'm not looking for a normal sub/bottom/whatthefuckever. Someone on the forums said I was looking for an "independent sub" and I can't really find much fault with that descriptor. ? On fakes: ? I think that if you're just looking for cyber, or if you're too scared to actually respond, that doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you not ready for real... whatever this is. That's not a bad thing, but you should be up front about it. Put it in your profile: "I'm just looking for on-line play" or "I don't know if I want this." It's okay, the rest of us aren't normal either. ? Those of you on here just looking to look at the freaks, you however are bad people. Find some porn, this is the internet after all. ? On distance: ? My profile says that I'm only up for a in person relationship, so you should be fairly close to me. I need to define "close to me." As a general rule, that means within one casual day of driving. So, South Carlionia, Georgia, Florida and most of Mississippi, Tennessee, and Louisiana are within that range. I do travel for a living after all. ? On messaging me: ? I've started to get people suscribing to my journal and favoriting me who I do not know. This is flattering to me, but I'd like to know who you are. Drop me a line, tell me why you're watching me. ? On my nick: ? Weaselwelder is a comment neither on my crotch nor my profession. It's kind of a swearing ad-libs really. "What the [mammel] [activity] fuck is going on?" It's just something I do. Weasel welder came out of my mouth one day, and I thought it was cool. Be glad my name isn't "moosegnawer" or "goathumper." ? On the end of this entry: ? This is it, you get no more. Apply flux to your ferrets kids, and enjoy your weasel welding.
Tell me your fantasies.
You don?t have any? That?s a lie. You want something, everyone wants, desires, lusts for something, anything, everything. You desire. You lust. You should tell me.
You don?t want to? How about you?re afraid to? Afraid of what I?d say. Afraid of what I?d do. Afraid of what I?d think. Disgust. Revulsion. Rejection. I can?t believe you?d want that get away from me you sick freak.
Worse, acceptance. Acquiescence. Take that safe, faraway fantasy and make it hard frightening reality. Oh my god I don?t know if I want this and I told him I want this but I only imagined this but he did this for me but I don?t want this but I can?t handle this but he made this but he did this for me but I don?t want to do this but he got me the ferris wheel and three gallons of marshmallow fluff for this but I but he but butbutbutbut
Stop.
Breathe. Relax.
Trust.
Trust that I won?t let you come to harm. Trust that you can always say no. Trust that I will not judge you. Trust that I will not be hurt. Trust that I have always heard wierder, even about marshmallow fluff.
Trust me as a dominant.
Trust me as a friend.
Trust me as a lover.
Trust me as a man.
Tell me your fantasies. Maybe they?ll become real.
I'm sorry to
disappoint, but I am the real deal; a dominant personality, accepting
of it and in control of myself. Dominant even if I wasn't into kinky
sex. Secure enough to not need Capital Letters or mighty titles or even
submission.
Normally, this is the point where I would claim that this isn't playtime for me, that it's REAL damn it, and so on and so forth. ? One small problem with that, this is playtime. I don't need to dominate a submissive to be a dominant. I am not one bit less or more dominant in my regular life when I have someone than I am when I don't. If you want, need the release of BDSM play, that's you, and that's fine, and that's acceptable. It just isn't me. ? This is play. This is real too. Never assume that I'm not aware of the responsibility BDSM places on the dominant, nor the trust given by the submissive. You offer a piece of yourself emotionally, and trust me with it. You trust me with you physically, and I shall do no harm.
Behold, brave people of collarme! I bring the answer to one of your eternal questions! Why do guys send copy/paste pick up lines to you? ? Of the past 15 e-mails I have sent to people I didn't yet know, all of them thought out and specific I may add, a full third of them have not even been looked at. Only one has the person bothered to open my profile! So the answer to your question is this; because we don't want to spend a lot of time for no return, even a "sorry, you're not for me" response.
For the record: Chatting with me on-line is just as hard to schedule as getting me to take you to dinner and a movie would be. If you want to chat on-line first, and with the number of crazies here, I don't blame you, the Collarme chat system is the easiest for me. I have Yahoo and AIM handles just for people I meet on Collarme as well, but I have to remember to turn the dang things on. Also, I despise both IM systems, so it's very much a last resort. ? A handy tip for those who have issues with the chat applet on the site; it's an IRC network with a wonky front end. You can access it with any IRC client, Server: chat.collarme.com Port: 6667
Guess what? I don't want you to do whatever I want without question. I won't get angry if you object to something. There's a difference between dominant and asshole in my book. ? I take the lead, because I'm a dominant. Submissive's don't. My submissive would tend to follow where I led. Just because I'm in the lead doesn't mean that I want to mold a
submissive into something she doesn't want to be. Hell, just because I tend to lead doesn't mean that I have to date people who follow. ? Punishment? What's the point in physical punishment? Pain for pleasure is one thing, but if I can't maintain my leadership without it, than I am a bully, not a dominant.
That's all it really takes. No pain, no slaps, no hair pulling, no yelling, no names, only one word. ? I stroke your jaw line, gently raising your face. Lock eyes with you. Put into that gaze all the heat and lust and passion and pleasure and possession that I have for you. Feel the breath catch in your throat as you see the promise of what is coming. ? One word.
"Kneel." ? You will kneel. If you want to. If you want to submit. To me. Then you will know all that pleasure, all that passion, all that possession that I have for you.
Or you will not kneel, because you don't want what I promise. Maybe you never wanted what I offered. Maybe you didn't realize you didn't want to submit until after that moment had come. So you won't submit. Do you know what? That's okay. If you don't want to submit to me, then I don't want you to submit to me. ? One Word. That's all it takes.Tell the future. Change the past. Just one word.
A note about speech restrictions: If you insist that you must refer to me as master or sir, I'll live with it, but as myself, terms like that should be reserved for during/after I've actually imposed my will on you. ? Similarly, refer to yourself in the first person if you have the option. I get the point, but you not using personal pronouns requires more effort on my part to figure out what you're saying than it's worth. Third person pronouns however (She did that with the thing over there) are a privilege, do not abuse it by repeating my example.
Well, that was interesting. I messaged someone here, one of the ones that constantly bitches about the doms who expect her to submit right from word one in fact. She in turn bitches me out for asking her "Why don't you tell me about yourself?" No kidding, she claimed that it meant that I wanted her to top from the bottom otherwise I'd have specific questions. Exactly 10 minutes later, near as I can tell about the time I saw her response and was replying, she sends the line "No response?"
Now, not having seen that yet, I assumed that she was attempting to weed out people who couldn't be dominant to her, so I sent a lengthy explanation about how open-ended questions work and how they tell you more than a thousand yes/no questions. Then, mainly to prove a point, I gave her the 30 questions she claimed to want. After sending it, I saw her little "no response" snark.
Naturally, I sent a one-line "I just responded." ? She read this one liner, but not the actual post, about 7 hours? later. Remember now, she gave ME about 10 minutes to respond to her. I gave her 5 hours after she saw my post (12 in total) before sending her anything else. ? I responded with my assumptions about why? I hadn't received a response. Although I phrased it more politely, the options boiled down to A. your last message was obnoxious, B. you're a troll or C. you've never failed to drive anyone off before.
She sends me a response almost immediately, saying that the reason she hadn't responded was that she didn't like head games or head cases, that I was both, that I hadn't sent her any questions and that if I didn't like it, I could move on. ? Being neither an idiot nor a machosist, I told her that I believed her to be a troll (slightly nicer than that) and that I was moving on. ? EDIT: Since I told her I was moving on, she has sent me 8 messages, 7 since I quit responding. Most of them one-liners that were we on IM, and I was talking to her, I wouldn't think weren't nice. This last one, 2 days later, was "okay poppy, thanks." This is the first time I've blocked someone.
Now, this shows me a number of things, first that yes, my skills at
picking people out from their profiles is poor. Second, that while
there is a lot, and I mean a lot of asshats on collarme, they aren't
limited to the dom population.
My third observation, which isn't from this to start with, is that I
don't think most, if any, of the "why aren't there any good doms" subs
know what they want or at least how to ask for it. You (plural) want
someone who can handle bitchy from the word go. You want someone who
will woo you and not dominate first and get to know you later. You want
someone who won't ask you to be the one in control. You want 24/7. You
want to have your own life. You want to have a say. You want no limits.
You need TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND! ? I'm going to break my thoughts on this exchange, and place how they relate to my finding someone here into my next post.
I've seen a number of profiles on here of late that I could've sent this to, so I'm posting this as an Open Letter of sorts. this goes out to the people that complain about "all the fakes" on here.
You don't seem to be looking for anything except a fight. No profile, no likes or dislikes, and the past six months of journals are just you complaining about people who message you, or don't message you. This isn't meant as negative criticism, but I do suggest that perhaps the reason you rarely get the good doms messaging you is that the good doms are looking for more than a picture of a blonde. Whoever you actually are, that's who you present yourself as.
No, I don't have a profile picture. There's a reason for that. I'm a professional, there are people I know can't keep their mouths shut on here that I know, and my personal life is just that, personal. If we get talking, and you want a picture, and you ask nicely, I'll give you one.
I'm looking for a woman secure enough to stand on her own, is okay with who they are, can deal with me being a dominant personality, and lives close enough for a physical relationship. That's it. Hell, I don't even need someone who wants to be submissive, so long as they're cool with me not being submissive to them.
Within five years of my age would be nice too, but I'm not picky.
