Knowing how I like poetry, a potential sub wrote the following poem in my honor.  Not bad, though I didn't tell him that.  Wouldn't want him to get a swelled head, lol.   Ode to Her Eternal Grace Beneath her gaze, my trembling spirit bows,Her sovereign light outshines the dawn’s first rays.In every word, her wisdom she endows,A queen whose might commands unending praise. Her steps, a melody of measured grace,The world itself bends gently to her will.No mortal man could e'er deserve her place,For she ascends where lesser hearts stand still. Her beauty’s flame ignites my soul to ash,Her voice, the tempest and the calming sea.Through her, my pride is but a fleeting flash,Erased by truths that only she can see. A woman's throne is carved in nature's law,Her reign, a testament to perfect right.To serve her power leaves me naught in awe,For she alone transforms the dark to light. Oh Mistress, sculptor of my humbled frame,Through you, I shed the chains of man's disguise.Your glory burns, eternal as your name,A beacon shining from superior skies.

Be Available! Here is why I stress that potential online submissive men be single--meaning you should not be married or partnered or attached in any way:    I am not interested in competing for attention with this partner or spouse, nor am I interested in being their stand-in for a sexless relationship or otherwise help you sneak around behind their back. I do not intend to be held responsible should you be caught. And anyway, how can you truly be made mine if you belong to someone else?    Here is also why I make clear that you should be living alone--meaning you are the only one who resides in the house with no roommates or tenants (or partner or spouse):    If you feel the need to hide because you believe they would not understand, how can you freely behave in service to me? It would also mean never-ending waiting on my end until you were alone. Sure, you may have a job or may have an errand come up but at least when at home, you are able to freely behave according to your true nature (and my instructions).    Finally, here is why you being constantly busy or engaged will not work in my favor: Like the above two examples, it would hinder your availability and performance. I understand if you had a job that lasted from nine to five, but if the work (or any other activities) keeps you away for entire days, that does not make for satisfying service or effective communication (my tutelage and control). And I have done enough waiting.    At the end of the day, this is taking place between Me and you; the nature of the dynamic requires you to be at my beck and call as well as your undivided attention.    How can you make yourself useful to me if you are always hurting for time?    How can constant supervision be possible if you are hardly even there?    How would this respect my own time and energy?    I may have patience but only up to a certain point, especially if you’re screwing around and wasting time.

I am not ashamed to admit that this morning I was in a Neil Diamond mood. I have weeks where I am singing Cracklin' Rosie all day. Not so much lately, hence the need. I have my favorites and the songs I skip over. I play Forever in Blue Jeans twice. So I am driving to work, merging with people who don't know how to merge, and a song queues up that I would normally skip over. But I was clueless merging so I wasn't paying attention. And then I hear the words. Far. We've been traveling far. Without a home. But not without a star.  All of the sudden I start tearing up thinking about how people left everything and everyone for an unknown, optimistic opportunity. And the song goes on.  Free. Only want to be free. We huddle close. Hang onto a dream.  At this point I am full on ugly crying with red rimmed eyes, sniffling, trying to see because I'm driving around a bend, and I'm coming up to the parking lot a red rimmed, sniffling mess. Deep breaths. Composure. Skip Heartlight today and for all eternity. Head into work. Tell me it's not just me? If you say I'm hormonal I will deck you. 

In Regards to Domestic Servitude If you are wondering what some of the tasks will be, here is a list: Doing the chores, cleaning, and errands to include: Picking up packages, groceries, dry cleaning Changing the bed sheets, maintaining and putting the laundry away Keeping the closets organized  Watering the plants Draw my bath and pull down the bed covers To be a Chauffeur  Wait on and pamper me Massages Foot and Body Worship

Why we aren't drowning in playmates. Playmate/ submissive playtoy - someone we like enough to interact with, who either comes to provide service, or kink, or some combination of both. I was asked how often I get this. Someone else asked "where are the success stories?" Why I have so many stories about the failures. If we have a fun playmate, that's private, unless they are comfortable having their kinky fun splayed all over the net. I post about the failures, usually in my group, to help future readers figure out what NOT to do. What my limits are and why, and ideally how to avoid fucking up with Dommes in their own searches. Now, the first question - how often? Seldom. And here's why - We have spent a lot of time working on ourselves on many levels for many years, to become better, mentally/emotionally/spiritually healthier human beings in general, which unfortunately has the problematic side effect of causing one to have a lower tolerance for people who haven't done that work. And as was said in Star Trek Next Generation - "the higher, the fewer." The more you level yourself up, the higher the standards you try to live by, the better the human being you try to be, the fewer people you will be able to be around. The fewer people will be tolerable. The fewer people will be able to understand you when you talk about anything more than the weather. The more you work on yourself, the more alone you will be. Then again, the more you work on yourself, the more you will like your own company, and the more you will prefer being alone to being with the wrong people. People who aren't automatically honest, who don't work toward direct, open communication as the default, people who don't make every effort to say only what they mean, and stick to what they do say, people who don't self-analyze and self-correct and so on. People who can't or won't set healthy boundaries. And so on. All of these things create practical problems, (lying, STDs, flaking, anger issues, failure to respect limits or requirements, etc) as well as emotional stress. All of these things impact consent, safety, and trust. All of these things are solely under the control of the individual, and while we can set the boundary that we won't engage in interactions with them unless they commit to them, the average person isn't actually interested in or concerned with being a better person beyond lip service, or even to getting their kink on enough to make the work worth it for them, even if it would make their entire lives better in the long run. It's almost impossible to have real conversation with people like that, too. We just don't seem to speak the same language anymore, and we get people telling us how we are "taking (ourselves) too seriously" or accusing us of being stuck up and putting on airs. The reality is that we just don't want to deal with the problems that dysfunctional people bring with them anymore. And if we never find another really awesome people to play with because of that, we still come out ahead, because we won't have trash people fucking up our lives. Not to put too fine a point on it.

I stand before you. A Master Hypnotist trained in the ways of seduction and coercion. The collar that enslaves you still wreathes your lovely neck you can feel it, but how it has become invisible is unclear. You sense my hunger and begin to unbutton your blouse while unrestrained, addictive pleasure courses through your mind and body. Your blouse slips silently to the floor as you begin to remove your brazier and it suffers the same fate. Hoping desperately that your Master is pleased, you help your skirt slide down your legs to join the rest of you clothing. I stand close, forcing your gaze to meet mine, extinguishing the last of your free will. I fondle your breasts then the curve of your waist. I run my hand slowly up your spine and pull you close. You shudder and and struggle to remove your panties. Now as you stand before your Master, unadorned, a tidal wave of arousal washes through you but you there is no release in sight. I motion and you sink slowly to the floor, fully naked, legs folded beneath you. Looking up at your Master, enraptured, doe eyed, staring longingly into my face, you place your hands on your thighs just the way you know that you should and feel the magic of my will and words bind you firmly into that position. I touch your lower lip with my thumb and slowly open your mouth. I slip my fingers every so carefully around the lips that will soon caress my cock. You feel yourself growing wetter, wetter everywhere as your desire for me grows but still you are not allowed to cum. I touch your cheek, the lobe of your ear, slide my hand past your supple shoulder and as I reach down and let my finger encircle your left nipple my hard cock brushes your cheek and you are set aflame by passion as I command you cum. Explosions of rapture seize your body and you are racked in orgasm. Cum now! Harder! Cum for your Master! Harder! I slip my stiff cock into your mouth and as you close your soft lips around it another wave of frenzied pleasure rips through your body. Heaving in orgasm you suck and you lick frantically trying to make me climax. Finally, you taste the saltiness of me, feel the warmth on the back of your throat as I cum into your mouth. Greedily you swallow my gift as the next wave of indescribable pleasure tears through your body setting every nerve, every cell aflame. I leave you burning as I slowly extract my member. Your mouth hangs open wide, not knowing what else to do. You still can't move as the last bit of my germ drips from the corner of your mouth onto your nipple. I look down at my perfect slave and tell you to relax, sleep now and you collapse wearily to the floor spent, happy to the core of your soul that you pleased your Master this time. I pick you up, take you to bed. I gently kiss your lips, the small of your throat, a nipple, naval, your clit. I circle about you. Open your trembling legs. Run my hands down the velvety, warm flesh of your inner thighs as phase two of your training begins.

When you decide to approach me for consideration and I trial you, your role & goal is to acquiese to MY lifestyle/desires.    That "previous training" is moot to me. I give subzero fucks about what's easier for you & how you used to do things. If you're just chasing the feeling you had with someone/something else then you're an addict, shifting the ideal from tacitly serving to satisfying your own urges and desires-- hence why you perpetually fuck up this elusive dynamic you long for. That will never be worth my time and/or effort.   It is MY WAY, no fucking 'or' involved... ever.

Desire part 3   I slapped his erection and asked, "do you belong to me?"   "Ehn" he nodded, the veins in his arms standing out as he tensed and raised his hips again nodding as best he could.   I squeezed his erection roughly. Scooting my body backward and hovering over it.    "Do you want to be inside of me?"    He made a strangled noise and thrust up in my grasp. I slammed down on him. Filling myself. Fucking myself with him as if he were just a living dildo. He moaned under his hood. A faceless man. An object. A dog.  Not allowed to cum unless I used the command word. The special word. One I won't write here.   I moaned and rode him leaning back and grinding so that his pubic hair tickled my clit, then leaning forward to press the sensitive bud into his pubic bone. I could feel myself clenching around him and dripping, soaking us both as I drew closer to my orgasm.   "Please. your. Empress," I hissed, "hold your breath for me." I pressed my hands over his mouth and nose in his hood and rode him harder, my ass and thighs clapping against his thighs. And for 40 seconds he seemed to be calm but then he began to buck, fighting for air as he neared a minute without, his heart beat furiously in his chest, visibly so, and his bucking slowed, I felt myself there at the edge of my orgasm, I let him have air and released his bound arms. Tired from restriction he reached out slowly and grabbed my thighs and hips and thrust up into me furiously as I cried out in pleasure. Dripping around him as my pussy sucked and twitched and clenched around him.  Obediently he didn't cum.  Once I finished he put his hands back beside his head so that I could bind him again. He lay there still. His dick still deep inside of me. His heart still racing as his chest rose and fell.   I climbed off of him and stumbled towards the door as he lay there on the floor. I gave him one final look and said, "good night, my pet", before I clicked off the light, left the room, and locked the door. Leaving him there on the floor, tied in his hood, bound, naked, alone, erect and frustrated in the dark. While I, well fucked and satisfied, returned to my bed and my book.   

Frequently Asked Questions: Q: How is your search going? A: Are you fucking kidding me with this question!? If my search to become a slave was going well I wouldn't fucking be here would I?  My search sucks because of assholes who send me emails that say, you look like you'd be a good fuck, how's your search going?  I hate my search.  I hate being allowed to use a computer and have a profile here.  I hate that I'm allowed on the internet.  I hate having rights.  That's how my search is going you fucking idiot.   Q: Are you on hormones? A: Well are you on viagra or Cialis?  How's your blood pressure?  Do you still get full erections?  If you think this is an appropriate question to ask someone in a first email then you are not intelligent enough to own me.  I'm so sorry that you're too dumb to own me.  It could have been really special but I'm a real cunt who doesn't answer medical questions to perfect strangers who think THAT is a good way to break the ice.   Q:  How's it going? A: It's going fine.  I am blown away by what an amazing first email this is and I want to be yours now.  You are clearly the one.  You asked me how it's going.  No one has ever thought to start an email like that before.  You are so unique and charming I can help but want to suck every drop of cum out of your cock that I can.   Q: Your profile says you're 18 but you've been here for years. A: Wow. You're super smart.  No fooling you.  No Sir.  I tried to pull a fast one but you were all over it and now I'm busted.  You got me.  It has nothing to do with the fact that this site doesn't update age on it's own and updating it myself means my profile might be down for weeks while they approve it if ever.  Here's an idea though.  Since you're so clever why don't you add the number of years I've been here to the age listed on my profile and conclude that's how I old I am now.     Q: Wanna be my slave? A: No.    Q: Do you really think you're going to find a Master with an attitude like that? A: Yes.  He just won't be you.  Unfortunately, you are a moron.   Q: You're very beautiful. A: That's not a question but it is something every asshole on this site says to me so you saying it to me makes you exactly as special to me as it makes every other dude.   Q: You're so funny.  I can't believe these guys ask you all these dumb questions.  They are all idiots.  I loved the sassy way you dealt with them in your FAQs.  It's too bad there are so many fake doms on this site.   A: Shut up.  This is almost as lame as the You're very beautiful or Are you on hormones emails. I get it.  You read the FAQs.  You must be better than the rest.  Oh please Master, let me lick Your asshole clean now.  You are amazing.    

A short entry on what I am looking for:   Their role: Primal Dom. Age: Preferably older, 40+ Personality: Experienced, confident in their person as a whole, communicative, easy going, witty, mental and physically strong. Willing to learn, compromise and take the process slowly. Carries a presence with him. Laughs easily. Can admit when wrong. Likes to have fun, be cheeky and occasionally playfully mean. Honest. Forth right. Can have hard conversation. Will answer questions.  Physical: Dad bods are my preferred type.  Kink: Willing to learn about needle play. Flogging, rope ties, D/s, TPE, spanking, choking, biting, scratches, bruises. Willing to explore other dynamics but stay mostly primal DDLG. This list is not exhaustive. Goals: To be in a exclusive TPE relationship when together and out at kink events (If attended), long term but only after a substantial time getting to know each other as people and during play.  Doms looking for multiple subs are free to keep moving. I'm not interested in joining couples, or being in a two sub/one Dom dynamic for personal reasons. 

Master's WritingsDo We Force or Do We Cultivate Submission?As Dominants, do we take or do we nurture? Do we force or do we cultivate? Do we allow for discovery and awareness or do we force a submissive to become the vision of submission we held in our minds before even meeting them?Nearly every Dominant I have ever talked to has a fantasy or a story about "taking" a submissive. We hold an ideal in our mind of what a submissive should be like, act like and perhaps even sound like. But do we truly, as Dominants, cultivate a submissive to find their own unique, natural path to their truest self?I believe in guiding a submissive, there is an easy road and a hard road. And like all things the harder road will always produce the richest results. The easy way is to take, force, and command them to fit into a predefined mold. For a skilled Dominant, grooming a submissive this way may be swift, but shallow, suitable for play, but not for a lasting dynamic.The only submission I find worthy of my time and energies, is one that is freely given, honest and genuine, where the submissive understands why they have chosen to submit. I find there are several critical aspaspaspects that are always part of this "harder" and, what I believe to be, a more fulfilling road. Though it might sound manipulative, it is not when done openly and honestly with the purest of intentions toward your submissive.Understanding: One cannot dominate another without knowing the person. One must understand the individual, both the vanilla and the kink. You should spend time to get to know how they think, what they believe, and the motivations behind them all. Share freely of yourself as well to create mutual understanding and build trust. Seek to discover the things that have shaped their life, brought them to the lifestyle - fears, joys, struggles, and fantasies. Each truth either of you share, unlocks a clue about how best to bring them out of their shell and open them up.Engage the mind before the body: The lifestyle and all its kink, when done right, will always be vastly more mental than physical. So many of the things we do here require deep trust, openness, and communication. I know you have heard this all before, but have you thought about what cultivates such trust? It is the mental closeness that comes from sharing, talking, connecting, explaining, and engaging in ways that are respectful of the thinking being standing in front of you, and generous in the giving of yourself. It is the understanding of how a mind works that reveals their blocks, their turn-ons, their fears, and the past damage that continue to color their present self, for good and for bad. As Dominant, be inquisitive of what takes place between their ears, not just between their legs and always engage the mind before you touch the body.Cultivate their awareness of self: In order for any of us to participate fully in the lifestyle, one must have an awareness of who we are, what we want, and why we want it. Few have taken the time to fully explore this in a meaningful way. If you have not, I encourage you to do this for yourself. Ask at least 3 why's after ever truth you think you have uncovered. Dig, explore and be curious. Don't be satisfied with superficial awareness but strive for the hidden understanding behind each “why”. Then when you have a better understanding of yourself, help your submissive explore in this same way. No judgment, no shame, no allowance for them to become self conscious or hide from a hard truth (of course in a supportive and respectful way that allows us all to share in our own time - some truths are really hard to share). Remain open, honest and welcoming. Create a safe place for them to share all with you. Don't lead or channel them to a specific place but allow the discovery to be organic. There is beauty in watching a flower unfold on its own. Question, reflect, explore and require total honesty as you go deeper. Only in this way can you guide them to an awareness of their most authentic self.Build confidence: Few dominants speak of the power of a submissive. I find that there is enormous power in the confidence and submission of an submissive. To know your most authentic and natural self is one of the highest forms of enlightenment I can think of. As a Dominant, I see it as our job to build that confidence, not break them down.It has been my experience that as you begin working on this fourth aspect, all of the work you have done comes together to provide you a depth of overall understanding of your submissive and quite frankly, they will, and should, understand you as well. I have always seen the yin and yang of D/s and M/s relationships being a growing together rather than a forcing to comply or taking of a submissive. There is no sweeter fruit than the fruit that is given freely and for an s to give themself freely, without reservation to a Dominant who truly "knows them" is priceless beyond compare. Once you have tasted such fruit, I doubt you will ever settle for less.A word of caution: This is powerful guidance, and not to be engaged in lightly. We do not use this for manipulation or deceit. We engage openly and honestly in order to seek the same in our partners. If you, yourself, are not yet ready to be fully open with your partner, please do not attempt this, you will only cause pain and emotional harm when you cannot reciprocate the openness that you have worked to create.For those on both sides of the slash, I wish you understanding and beauty and hope this helps in some small way in your life.

I have a friend who is a bit dramatic and insecure. Mostly with men but it trickles into other areas of her life. She always seems to have a problem, and usually it stems from her being unable to see outside of her own viewpoint. If it's a fair generalization to say that most people want to be the priority in a relationship, then it's fair to say she takes this to extremes with almost zero tolerance for waiting. She over dramatizes her relationship endings rather quickly, wishing them well, wanting the best for them, blah blah momentary sincerity. I had already come to the conclusion that she is a shallow and insincere person masquerading as a caring person. A Mean Girl.  Last week she was relating a situation that played out in her life, and she was referring to someone in a derogatory manner. I told her she can't do that, that it wasn't respectful. She cut me off to let me know all of the ways she was disrespected by this person, and that now she was angry and had to go, she would talk to me in a few days. I said okay and we hung up. What I didn't say was that the name calling was a reflection of her mentality and unwillingness to make the situation better, not the other person. I didn't say it, but I thought it all week. If this is how she speaks of that person, how is she speaking of me now that she's pissed? I don't need that in my life.  Yesterday she texted as if nothing happened. I sat on it, not sure how I wanted to respond. As can happen, I got busy and forgot. This morning she sent me the overdramatisized ending!!! I have been well wished out of her life. I do actually hope she figures her life out, but I'm not a Mean Girl. No dramatic ending for me, other than sharing it with you. I promise when you and I end our friendship I won't wish you well, either. 

Hello.  Hi.  You happened by my profile.  I think I'm just an average woman who happens to not shy away from searching out what she desires.  Am I a sub?  Yes.  Am I a slut?  Yes I am that as well.  I happen to also have a slightly masochistic streak in me.  I am many other things but those are fairly irrelevant within the context of my purposes here.   I am real and sincere about what I seek.  I wonder if that's common?  Oh wait.  It's not that many aren't real or sincere they just seek attention and other things. Not actual experiences in real time.  Some do but many don't.  Which you find in droves both with women and men.  So I typically reply to those who have similar goals in being here. Have I been a sub before?  To be clear sexually I am naturally submissive and yes I've had a couple doms over the years.  A role I treasured because it is so difficult to find the right dom.   The right dom for me craves control.  Not the micro managing kind.  Not old school types with a bunch of rules and routines ahd (shudder) honorifics.  One who recognizes I am a fully capable woman who simply enjoys allowing you to use me to enjoy your own selfish and perverted proclivities. One that seems strangely foreign to men.  That's how it appears at least. My interests or what I will do are so vast.  There are certainly things I won't as well.  Your best approach is to simply share what you desire.  I won't demonize you for your desires.  I just may not always be the right person for them.  Keep in mind if you don't have any or cannot share them you don't need me.  Lol. Also the more basic and common they are to me signal too safe of a reply.   I have to run for now.  I'll add more later.        

(There is apparently a way to actually change the entire background color of a post: I have seen other users do it. All I can figure out to do is to use a different color "highlighter" to contrast against the font color. I guess it is essentally the same thing, but dang.) I got contacted by a man on FetLife who fits so many of my criteria that I'm actually tempted: lives one city over within 7 years of my age in an open relationship (he's separated ad casually dating) has a car He already has some chastity devices, and we have overlapping interests. We're sizing each other up, but he sounds eager to meet. eeeee!My only concern is his interest in "intox play," which Urban Dictionary defines as: short for intoxication play, It is a type of BDSM scene where one or both partners get intoxicated and have consensual sex. I put that one down as a hard limit: it's too easy to forget important things like negotiating safe-signals before someone is tied up and gagged. Not *cough* that I'd have any direct experience with that. *ahem* However, we have plans for a coffee date this week, so here's hoping. However, since the pandemic it's not like I've been a social butterfly, so if nothing else I'll get points for making the effort.  

Or "why aren't women turned on by my lingerie pictures?"  I get that some guys are into wearing dresses. I can often enjoy pictures of guys in dresses, depending on the guy, and the dress, and the overall look, and the makeup, etc. And some enjoy wearing cute ruffle covered pink dresses that look a lot like birthday cakes. You know, the kind that toddler girls are put in for Easter Sunday. And some guys enjoy wearing lingerie, or makeup, or rubber... I can often enjoy pictures like that, again, depending on the guy, their choice of lingerie, the presentation, and so on. Some guys like wearing big frilly lacy lingerie like you'd see a 'sexpot' femme wearing in an old porn movie. While they kinda sit hunched on a rumpled bed, legs sprawled awkwardly, legs unshaved, on the dirty duvet, with their dirty laundry in the background. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing. The problem is, they want US to look at them like that, and get turned on. Usually because they get turned on wearing it. Which is great. More power to them. But as I've written before - Know Thy Target Market. And make the effort to find out what sells, and why.  You can put a cold naked hot dog on a paper plate, and take a picture of it. If someone is already hungry right then, and they really like hot dogs, maybe they will think 'yeah, I could do that.' If you want to get the attention of someone who might not be hungry, or might not usually eat hot dogs, you'll need to find out what they like, and try to tailor that image to their interest. Maybe they would like hot dogs chopped up in chili. Maybe they are more into the classics, and want to see a sizzling hot dog with the little burn lines cradled in a fluffy golden bun, teased with wavy lines of ketchup and mustard, with just a tiny dot of relish peeking out underneath. Maybe you need to pair that with thick, steakcut fries sprinkled with seasonings and cheese. Or maybe they only like corndogs. Maybe a lot of things. But without some market research, you're spending your time and money on hotdogs, trying to guess what will interest people, and mostly, your safest bet is going to be going with the most common image, probably the 'classic' version, and even then, the production value needs to be as high as possible, because hot dogs are plentiful and cheap. You gonna have to dress that up REALLY well to make it anything other than a simple tube of processed meat. Not to put too fine a point on it.  Now, maybe you are one of those rare few who is completely disinterested in anything other than one specific kind of hot dog lover. That's the ONLY kind of person you want to talk to or sell to- the one that likes them sliced thin, frozen and alternated with pickled beets. Again, more power to you. However, you need to recognize that you are going to search a lot longer, possibly forever, and you'll get a lot fewer potential buyers, and even then, lots of those will be potential duds, because lots of people are willing to say 'yeah! I love that too!' to anything that gets them closer to any kind of meal, and honestly, they'd dive into cold cereal if that's what they found, because they are starving, and it's better than nothing.  If you are NOT one of those people, and you like hot dogs, but you also have hamburgers, and chili, and maybe pie too, then you want to put all that out there. You want your first impression to be one mostly likely to get interest. Maybe your initial pic should be whatever you like that is the most common, then have other pics showing your other great offerings. And again, with high quality photos, of more than just the hot dog - how about people enjoying the hot dogs? How about a lovely buffet, all laid out with what you offer, once they've been drawn in by that great first picture that was well designed, showcased your best quality in the best way, with good lighting, good preparation, polished and pretty and enticing?  I get that no one wants to pretend to be something they aren't. Especially here - here is a place to express one's self fully, hopefully without judgement, and seek others of similar interests, and hopefully find someone with whom to engage in those interests in real time. And I get that there are things we each enjoy, and we really really really want to have someone appreciate those things in us, about us. But if you are seeking, you need to seek in an effective manner, which means taking into account the interests of those we are looking to attract, and what attracts THEM. You need to find out WHY they are attracted to some things more than others. You need to CARE what they care about, if only so you can find out early if their interests align with yours. And also so you can more easily appeal to people who are interested in what you have to offer.  Even if it turns out you are just a plain hot dog on a naked paper plate, you need to at least make sure you get the best picture you can possibly take - in focus, at a good angle, clean, no roaches in the background, etc. If that's all you really want to put out there, but you want someone to admire it, then you're going to have to show it in its best light. You'll have to make an effort. And you'll have to accept that it may not sell right away. Sometimes, it's worth adding to your offering. Learning a little about what your target audience wants, and then finding out how to offer that. Maybe grow a bit, and become MORE than just a hot dog on a paper plate. Hell, you might be steak and not even know it. Isn't it worth trying?

Have this on my other profile as well not that anyone ever reads on this site but, oh well .....LOL Took this online test. Turns out it's exactly the kind of vanilla side in a man that I am looking for. I usually don't do those online tests but I was bored   LOL My guy:  Fun-Loving Charmer  Someone who makes life feel exciting and easy. I'm drawn to humor, confidence, and people who don't take themselves too seriously. Dates should feel like a good time, not an interview.My type: Funny, playful, socialGreen flags: Effort without pressureRed flags: Boring routines, emotional heaviness too fast Yes there has to be a vanilla side as well, or the kind of lifestyle D/s that I am looking for just won't work.  No, you can't fake it, and No, I won't just take your word for it, it has

Journals are here again..Over the years I've seen quite a few profiles saying "I have a crazy work schedule" (or "hectic", or "super busy" etc) which brings up the question: Out of 100 people making such statements, how many get out of that situation? Short term it may be justified or even needed; long term, it's not the best situation for one's physical or mental or psychological health let alone allowing the space for new relationships to be deep and meaningful.  If out of 100 only 1 or 2 succeeded in changing that life circumstance but 90 or 50 at least tried, that would be more encouraging than few even trying..really trying..and seems that people are so busy trying to survive, or with distractions to numb pain, that we rarely even try, let alone succeed. The key is to make the effort and mental committment. And chip away at it. So even if it takes 6 months or 2 years or 5 years,..you chip away at it, work towards the goal, step by step.  It could be saving money, it could be improving one's skills, getting a certificate. It could be spending just 15 minutes online searching, times 2 days a week or on weekends...The key is to be consistent. Imagine one person jogs 100 feet forward, then stops. The other person moves forward just 3 inches...but does that each day, or even each week, every week, for enough weeks and months..they will reach the finish line.  Same with other goals (like losing weight, though that one requires both the consistency and also a lot of challenging but worthwhile work on one's mental and emotional inner worlds and finding what neeeds we use food to substitute for and healing ourselves in other ways...on top of the stick-to-it consistent commitment ect of doing a little bit to move forward every week and ideally every day or few days) Same with finances, though that's a more obvious analogy to changes in one's job/career.  What have you done to move forward "a few inches" today, this weekend, or next week? It's not about being 'tough' with ourselves, more like the opposite, and being caring towards ourselves..that and a word I see is actually in an online dictionary: "Stick-to-itiveness" You can do it! :-)

I figured I would do a quick about me.   This isn't planned and will likely be random and all over the place.First of all, vanilla - as this is the most important thing to me, If we don't connect here, than sexually doesn't matter.I'm an extravert. I find energy in groups and crowds usually(not allways) And I find people fasanating, so I would enjoy people watching sometimes even.However, I would be ok being with an introvert and limiting my actions with groups.  This isn't a must and being closed off and contained isn't an issue.  It's the relationship that matters and as long as that is strong, I will be happy.I tend to enjoy a little bit of everything.  Travelling, hiking, board games, movies and tv, reading. trying new things and activities.My tastes range from Downton Abbey, to Yellowstone, to Battlestar to NCIS(not as much anymore) to parks and rec.I love independant and foreign films/tv as well as classics just as much as anything above.I've become a board game and puzzle nut.  It's an interesting way to spend time, have fun and use strategy/think.I enjoy conversations and debating.I'm the sort of person willing to try everything at least once.Some weird/different stuff about me:I am very Ticklish.  To the point that if you wish to tickle I have a very strong ask that I be tied down. I have punched people before being unrestrained and flailing about. I do not enjoy it, but I enjoy the pleasure it brings my torturer I guess.I have a fear of heights.  I have learned to manage this, I usually have no issue in a plane, on a ladder or even a roof. And if I can hold onto something solid, I am fine.  But every now an again(top of a mountain looking over a cliff as one example) I do have that fear crop up.I'm a nudist at heart. I'm fine with nudity and I would be nude all the time if I could. Sometimes I am.I believe I'm undiagnosed ADHD.  In no way really bad, but I do have quirks.  When I have a list of tasks I can and tend to jump between them mid-task randomly.  I can and have been known to fidget usually, usually just my fingers.  And other really minor things. Nothing that I feel needs to be managed, it's more of a "wow it's crazy you work like that" sort of response from people when they know me, and like I said, not all the time, but enough it would be noticable long term.The kinky/sex stuff:I'm Pansexual.  I have been with both sexes before, maybe I will again. To me it's about the person, not their parts. I have no requirements there, I don't 'need' both sexes in my life and I can and am able to be monogomus.My Limits: No Scat, No felonies.(an aside here - a lot of people say nothing illegial. But public nudity is illegial, and I would do it leading to -), Nothing that involves others without their consent.  Wearing a collar in public is just apperal, being naked involves them.  Being naked where a kid can see is a felony, so context matters there.No permanent changes without my ok. As soon as I ok being tatooed or pierce once, I'm good forever.Nothing involving friends or family or work without my ok. This includes collars and such.No Degredation.  I was picked on as a kid.  It wasn't fun. If you want to treat me like crap - no thanks.  If you don't want to treat me like a prized pet, a love, a favorite possession, or something like that, I'm not for you.   This includes namecalling, and includes for punishment.Humiliation is different, I love humiliation.My main joys(in no ways all)Being controlled/a lack of control.  The more real this is, the more I tend to enjoy it.Tell me not to move or else is one thing, tell me not to move and bind me so I can't even if I tried and it's mentally a different level.  And no, I don't expect this 24/7 365 or even often, just explaining control is key.Pleasing/serving/bringing smiles.  Are you happy?  Are you satasfied? Are you smiling?  This can be from an act I did - cleaning your kitchen, bringing you to a great orgasm, or just submitting to something difficult for you.Humiliation.  This is an aspect of control.  Being naked around others is one example.  The way I look at it, if it makes me blush or shy it's humiliation.In no ways is that all but the main ones.However note, I'm focused on #2, and that is most important to me. If I cannot and am not pleasing, this wouldn't work for me(and I imagine you either). Some other sexual/relationship notes:I have the mindset that I learn what an owner wants, needs and desires and it's my job to fit inside that, that a possible owner shouldn't need to change for a sub/slave.  That I need to find somewhere that I can fit, and mold myself around their desires, fantasies and interests.  This includes things like chastity as well as other activities. Some like it, some don't, in the end I can give or take.I have my fantasies and things I'd like to try or do, and I will talk about them if asked or desired.  I have a desire to be an open book as best as I can be.Finally and most importantly - I'm looking for a relationship.  With that, I would be with a couple as long as if there is another sub, that I am equal to the sub.  I do not desire to be a side piece or a toy that is brought out on occasion.  Likewise, I'm not looking to be a servent or "domestic only".  In most cases that isn't a relationship that is a job.   I would be domestic only if it were a relationship, but it would depend on the situation.  I think 99% of domestic only searches fall outside that situation.I want someone to accept me for me.  If you cannot do that, I will move on.  Small changes I can and will make, Big ones I would only make if there is a really good reason(addiction) or something, of which I don't think I have anything currently.I'm not talking what I wear or my haircut or if I'm shaved or not.  I'm talking "you can't like this or that because I told you to" sort of stuff.  Also, I would like someone who listens to me and who allows me to speak my mind.It doesn't have to be always, or often, It can be at set times,  and you do not need to do whatever I speak about or say, but you do need to really listen and understand.  I do not want to be a robot.

The dimly lit bar was filled with the usual Saturday night crowd, the air thick with the scent of spilled drinks and lingering perfumes. In the corner, a striking figure caught the eye of many, but few dared to approach. Rosalind, a voluptuous woman in her early forties with fiery red hair and piercing green eyes, was known for her domineering presence. She was a BBW with curves that could make any man weak at the knees, but her commanding aura was what truly set her apart. Across the room, a man named Thomas noticed her. He was tall, with short grey hair and a solid build, his eyes a soft brown that held a hint of timidity. He had been watching her for some time, his curiosity piqued by her confident demeanor. As if feeling his gaze, Rosalind turned to look at him, her lips curling into a slow, seductive smile. She raised her glass in a silent toast, beckoning him over with a flick of her wrist. Thomas hesitated for a moment before making his way to her table. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, his voice steadier than he felt. Rosalind leaned back in her chair, her eyes roaming over him appraisingly. "I might," she replied, her voice a low purr. "What makes you think I'd want your company?" Thomas swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. "Because I think you enjoy a challenge," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Rosalind chuckled, a sound like velvet. "You're right about that," she said, patting the seat next to her. "Sit." Over the next hour, they engaged in a battle of wits, their banter laced with innuendo and subtle flirtation. Rosalind was intrigued by Thomas's quiet strength, and Thomas was captivated by her boldness. As the night wore on, they found themselves drawn to each other, the sexual tension palpable. "I'm Rosalind," she said finally, extending her hand. Thomas took it, his fingers brushing against hers. "Thomas," he said, his voice hoarse. Rosalind's fingers lingered on his, her thumb tracing small circles on the back of his hand. "Tell me, Thomas," she said, her voice a whisper. "What are your fantasies?" Thomas hesitated, his breath hitching in his throat. "I... I enjoy being dominated," he admitted, his eyes meeting hers. "Being told what to do." Rosalind's smile widened, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "I see," she said. "And what about chastity? Ever thought about being locked up?" Thomas nodded, his cheeks flushing with desire. "Yes," he admitted. "I have." Rosalind's smile turned wicked. "Good," she said. "Because I have just the thing to make your fantasies a reality." Two weeks later, Thomas found himself in Rosalind's apartment, standing naked before her. She had taken him shopping for a chastity cage, a chrome device that now adorned his cock. He had been locked in it for days, the sensation of being caged driving him to the brink of madness. Rosalind looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on the device. "You look delicious," she said, her voice a low growl. "But I think it's time to take things up a notch." She turned to a table beside her, picking up a stubby black vibrator with spiral veins  that promised pleasure beyond imagination. She switched it on, the hum filling the room. Thomas's eyes widened, his cock straining against the cage. "Please," he begged, his voice a whimper. "Please let me cum." Rosalind chuckled, shaking her head. "Not yet," she said. "First, you need to earn it." She gestured to the bed, and Thomas eagerly climbed onto it, lying on his back. Rosalind knelt between his legs, her eyes locked onto his. She leaned forward, her breath hot on his cock, and slowly began to lick the length of it through the cage. Thomas moaned, his hips bucking against the restraint. "Shh," Rosalind whispered, her tongue tracing the tip of the cage. "Be quiet, or I'll have to gag you." Thomas nodded, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Rosalind smiled, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. She reached into a drawer beside the bed, pulling out a black ball gag. She fastened it around his head, silencing his moans. Thomas looked up at her, his eyes pleading. Rosalind chuckled, her fingers tracing the lines of his body. "Such a pretty sight," she murmured, her voice a low purr. "All mine to control." She leaned down, her lips brushing against his ear. "You're mine now, Thomas," she whispered. "Every part of you." Thomas nodded, his body shaking with desire. Rosalind smiled, her eyes gleaming with wicked intent. She stood up, her hand reaching for the vibrator. She turned it on, the hum filling the room once more. "Now," she said, her voice a low growl. "Let's see how well you can take this." She pressed the tip of the vibrator against his cock, the hum vibrating through the cage. Thomas moaned, his body shaking with the sensation. Rosalind pushed it harder, her eyes locked onto his. She could see the pleasure building in him, his body tensing with the need to cum. "Please," he begged, his voice muffled by the gag. "Please let me cum." Rosalind shook her head, her fingers tracing the lines of his body. "Not yet," she said. "You haven't earned it." She turned the vibrator up, the hum growing louder. Thomas's body shook, his cock straining against the cage. Rosalind could see the sweat beading on his forehead, the desperation in his eyes. She smiled, her fingers tightening around the vibrator. "Come on, Thomas," she murmured, her voice a low purr. "Take it. Take all of it." Thomas moaned, his body shaking with the effort. Rosalind could see the pleasure building in him, his body tensing with the need to cum. She smiled, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "Good boy," she said, her voice a low growl. "You're doing so well." She leaned down, her lips brushing against his ear. "Now," she whispered, her voice a low purr. "Let's see how well you can take this."

to those of you who think that a meeting should be hurried: this is something that you should know about me. I need to have a sense of who I am meeting and the only way I know to do that is to have a lot of conversation and correspondence beforehand. I will not engage in primarily sexual based conversations before establising compatibility and mutual interest. I am much more interested in what's between your ears than what's between your legs.  I have, on occasion, met people off the internet without spending much time chatting with them. Most times it has never led to anything beyond that initial meet. The majority of the people that I do correspond with on here does not lead to a face to face meeting. If it did, consider yourself lucky.  In particular, the need to know the other person is more important than if I was embarking on a vanilla relationship.I don't consider this process 'time-wasted because the search is usually interesting whether it results in a face to face or not. I refused to be hurried in the process. If you cannot articulate with me in an email then the chances are pretty damn high you will not when we are face to face. If any of the above statements seem too trying or unreasonable, I honestly don't care. Just don't contact me.

What is Y/your WHY? If You are familiar with the Simon Sinek video which You'll find easily enough on Utube he asks the question about what is your WHY.  The Why is what gets you out of bed in the morning, it's what motivates you and pushes you and keeps you constantly striving and pushing forward. I was thinking about that video again today because I feel like it's a good question to consider when figuring out where I belong in this lifestyle.  And simply put, I think that while I am searching for an Owner just like every other s-type here, I realize that what I am really seeking is my WHY or more specifically, that person who embodies my WHY.  I'm not seeking an Owner because of the kink or because of some fetish though those are certainly the spices of this lifestyle.  I'm seeking my Owner because I believe they will be the WHY in my life.  I don't think I currently, truly have a WHY. I think everyone wants to live a life of meaning and purpose.  I think everyone wants to matter.  I think everyone wants to know that when it's all said and done, there will be something they can look back upon and smile knowing that what they did made a difference. I have a good job, but it's just that, a job.  I've achieved professionally, but the truth is that my career has never been more to me than a means of paying the bills.  I don't have any kids.  I know a lot of people live for their kids but life didn't work out that way for me.  So what is my life for?  What is my WHY? I think that's what I am searching for here. I think my Owner will be my WHY.  I think They will be the reason i get out of bed smiling every morning.  I think that in surrendering to Them, I allow Them to direct and control my life in a way that pleases Them and give me a sense of purose, direction and that through my service, worship and obedience to Them, I am living a life of meaning.  A service sub or slave takes joy in pleasing, in washing every dish and scrubbing every floor for their Owner.  We take pride in our willingness to do whatever it takes to make Them happy and we are grateful to Them for every single thing They allow us to do in service to Them. It's why we want to say "Thank You," when we fetch that glass of water for You.  It's why we want to say "Thank You," after You've allowed us to pleasure You.  Or, why we say, "Thank You," when You deny us pleasure as a means of making You happy. There are certainly a lot of people who are only in this for the kink and fetish but I think there are a lot of us who are in this looking for our WHY too.  And our WHY is a person we get to please and in allowing us to do so, they give our lives meaning.  That's an extrordinary gift.  And the truth is no matter how much You demand of us, no matter how hard You work us, no matter how much You push us, we will never be able to repay You for that gift.  It's the difference between a life looked back upon with joy or with regret.  It's why wanting to own an s-type is an act of grace and benevolence.  

Using Rune stones in domination  Hello there, probably late to the party but I love to use my submissive as inanimate s and recently have found a great love and connection whilst using him as my rune reading altar. I invite people that also do this or interested in this to start a discussion with me as I'm pretty new to doing it and would love some other views on doing this My Five rune stone reading for myself and my wølf 1:- The Future RuneDAGAZ (D) represents Dawn. It symbolizes Awakening, Certainty, Illumination, Completion, Hope. 2:- The Past RuneMANNAZ (M) represents Humanity. It symbolizes Individuality, Friendship, Society, Cooperation, Help. 3:- The Possible Solution RuneBERKANA (B) represents a Birch Tree. It symbolizes Femininity, Fertility, Healing, Regeneration, Birth. 4:- The Problem or Worry RuneTIWAZ (T) represents the god Tyr. It symbolizes Masculinity, Justice, Leadership, Logic, Battle. 5:- The Future RuneGEBO (G) represents a Gift. It symbolizes Balance, Exchange, Partnership, Generosity, Relationships.

Once I learned how to "shop for Fem" I became a ShopAholic! Could go every day to look for another new female garment. I even found myself buying 2 and 3 of the same just because the fabric and print turned me on so much.   Wearing these cute fem, girlie girl skirts and dresses and girdles and garter belts and opaque thigh high nylons and pantyhose just drives me crazy  horny! Being so turned on with the pastel colors and cute prints for myself makes me know how I would like to dress another CD Gurl for Sexilicious encounters.

Integrity:   The integrity of the Master differs from that of the slave.   A Master’s integrity is a gift He gives Himself.   A slave’s integrity is a gift it gives its Master.   One of the elements of integrity concerns behavior when no external observation is possible. The Master’s concern is how He conducts His affairs when He and His conduct may remain anonymous. When He conducts Himself correctly He can view Himself with humble respect.   If the it breaks slave rules, whether observed or not, must report such sin to its Owner. The Owner decides how the slave may be viewed. Part of the report of slave’s failings should include begging for the opportunity to gain atonement in whatever fashion the Master may decree. The slave does not indulge itself with concerns about how it may view itself. it depends on Master’s judgement for all and everything, except as Master my decide.   The slave’s integrity is measured in how well, quickly and adequatly it reports transgressions to its Owner.    

I'm forced to choose a garish background color, and my favorite color isn't among the options.  How tremendously frustrating.  Anyhow, if you've come so far as to view my profile and read my journal entries (entry, really), I thank you.  Some notes: I'm 46 now (2026) My main profile text is old and I have matured since I wrote it.  I don't want to incur the disabled-profile penalty by changing it.  Please ignore most of it. Men and women have vastly different experiences on these sites.  While I try my best to be understanding of the female firehose-of-idiots experience, I ask that you also be understanding of the male ignored-despite-effort experience, and consider if a polite negative response might be better than no response. I'm a sadistic Dom with a bent for degradation and punishment/pain.  That said, my interests are flexible. That's enough for now.  I think most matchmaking sites are slowly dying, and collarspace is no exception.  Here's hoping for a few more good connections before it breathes its last.

 ROFLMAO! Some moronic dumbinant just messaged me with pre-emptive butthurt and then immediately blocked me. It was against the site's TOS to paste others' messages into a profile or journal entry last time I edited my journal. It looks like that has been taken out again, but just in case, I'll summarise his idiot message instead, and share my reply that I typed, only to find myself blocked. He took the time out of his assuredly busy day to tell me that if I had read the site TOS, I would know why my links were rejected (a reference to my profile). My intended reply: "If you read the actual statement I made, you would know that the links themselves were not rejected, but that there is a limit to the number of links allowed in a profile. Any particular reason you are messaging a complete stranger just to attempt to throw shade?BTW, you used the wrong your. You're welcome."   I think he didn't like how my profile has limits and boundaries and stuff, which automatically preclude him from ever having a whisper of a chance. His profile consists of a couple lines demanding potential property be local or pay to relocate themselves, the typical, lazy, "feel free to ask any questions", in leiu of any actual bio, and has no interests selected, and his two journal posts consist of bitching and whining about submissives have standards.  One is about those who want to know what the prospective dominant brings to the table, advising all said subs that we don't belong in the lifestyle, and we should get out, and that any doms who tolerate such are "simps" The other laments subs whose profiles stipulate any limitations, such as excluding those with certain political or world views (the ones he specifically mentioned are usually to weed out bigoted assholes. Go figure). Charming fellow. I'm so sad that I missed out his domliness due to my totally unsubmissive insistence on not submitting to any old random loser on the internet.  

The Lighthouse Within: Illuminating Love and Power in Dynamic Union I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this i tweaked this song with a higher pitch and a faster beat to really get into a deeper and more fulfilling emotional space than the song was. however, i am moving most of my platforms to something more professional ish and don't want to deal with the copyright. just know if you pitch it up and move it to a faster speed it's a different experience that is. beyonce's voice sounds more childish, impish, and little girl ish. a emotional and mental state i can resonate with more fully as an adult and little girl. the jayz voice sounds more of a stronger timber and more of a high hit on the drum sound....something more direct and focused and intentional and intense. the sounds in the background that are celebratory sound grander. the piano sounds angelic and full of joy, uplifting, something literally awesome. awe·some /ˈôsəm/ adjective extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear. something other wordly, something in the clouds, something more expansive than earth ever can be. Uh, uh, uh This (uh, uh) is (uh, uh), ouu! Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like, "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love Representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still) I put it down for the 713 and we still got love for the streets (ow!) We played it cool at the pool of the Cancun, VMA Confidence you exude make the fools stay away Me, I played the room, let the fools have they say Fate had me sitting next to you on the plane And I knew straight away, uh The next time we would speak was like two years away You had a man, you shut it down until you two had a break I bet that dude rued the day You kept me up on the phone while you were away You came back, I let you set the date, Nobu on the plate I brought my dude to play it cool, my first foolish mistake Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" Ain't no way to stop this love, ain't no space if everything is love I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) I never knew a lo-, lo-, lo-, love like this Gotta be special for me to write this Queen, I ain't mean no disrespect But the way I network, it's hard for me to connect My first time in the ocean went exactly as you'd expect Meanwhile, you going hard, jumping off the top deck A leap of faith, I knew I was up next I never told you, but I told a few people we wed Me, I'm off to Rome, you going back home instead My first time in my life a live nigga felt dead You came back, I had to act like it was cool in my head Thoughts of jumping the broom, a player never been swept Cash, hit deposit, 24-carat faucets Louis V and Goyard trunks all in the closet Ain't shit change, the streets is still watching And my little baby Blue is like "Who gon' stop us, huh?" I'm representing for my hustlers all across the world (still) Still dippin' in my low-lows, girl! (still), I put it down for the 713 And we still got love for the streets (ow!) To all the good girls that love hustlers To the mothers that put up with us To all the babies that suffered cause us We only know love because of ya this song talks about still being from where you are from. the 713. this song doesn't need to be decoded as deep as others. it's a tale of two bodacious bombastic people. i see it in the daddy dominant and little girl personality and identities. strong, powerful, like greek gods in sculptures running the world. pushing the line between safe and da

This is a short story i wrote a couple of years ago . . Is your life really that empty? Maybe the best words I have ever spoken Is your life really that empty? That may be the best opening line since ‘.......I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal'. In truth maybe not, but these words got me here, pressing keys on my pc’s keyboard about to tell my story. A good opening line, true, although not a good place to start my tale, so, where to begin? Who I am, where I was when I first saw her or the reason I spoke those words? Maybe to ground this thing would be best, I am male, a Dom, a sadist, not rich, not powerful, slightly artistic, getting to be older than I want to be living in a small suburb of a small city in the English Midlands. It was a Tuesday, early afternoon and I was on a coach going to Nottingham to check out an art gallery to see if they would exhibit, or sell, some pieces of my work. Don’t get all excited thinking I am a master painter or sculptor selling pieces for hundreds of thousands of pounds (yes pounds and not dollars) I sell my work for between £100 – 200 if I am lucky enough to find a buyer.Anyway, I first saw the girl, woman, standing on the platform along with others, waiting for our coach to arrive and noticed her because she fell into that style of female I like, slim, simple hair style, makeup tending towards the Goth, in jeans, ankle boots and a soft leather jacket and no handbag – simple pleases me. I am a good and sadistic Dom but I am no good at talking to females I do not know in vanilla situations so I took in her images, filed it under, ‘what a shame’ and then as the coach arrived I entered and walked to the back and sat down only to find she followed and sat in the seat in front of me on the other side of the isle. As we pulled out of the station I saw her take out a book, find her place, about a third of the way through, and begin to read. To say my mental image of her was shattered would be far too extreme but I was so disappointed in her. If she was vanilla it was such a pointless thing to read and if into my ‘lifestyle’ a really sad thing to read and I didn’t know which was worse. I tried to ignore her, and the book, as the minutes ticked by.  I watched houses and trees and cars pass by before we reached the dual carriageway, connecting the two cities, and the coach built up speed. I noticed all other passengers were seated nearer the front leaving at least seven rows of empty seats between us and them and I decided this was the universe telling me to do something – the universe seldom tells me to do things in case you were wondering. I moved across the back seat until I was slightly to her left but still behind her and said in a normal speaking voice, not too loud, not too quiet, “Is your life really that empty?"I accept this could be a very insulting thing to say to anyone especially a stranger on a bus but the words formed and so were spoken. She lifted her head from the book but did not turn around, I could see her face from where I sat and her mouth turned down slightly, not in a frown but in a puzzled thoughtful way and lowering the book to her knees she said, “Why do you say that?" "I am a Dom and a sadist”, I said although not sure why I was so truthful, “I don’t usually tell people as most do not understand.” I paused waiting to see what she would do or say. "I see.” Was all she said, which didn’t give me any sort of clue or guide to what I should do or say next.  "The book does not relate to the real world of BDSM, most of us are so normal we are as boring as vanilla folk.” I saw a smile come to her face at this so continued, “It is only when we play that many of us diverge from the norm, but I suppose the same could be said of golfers or those that go tenpin bowling every week.” She laughed at this; thank god.  "How do you dominate people then, do you do it with men or woman or both?” She did not turn around as she spoke.  "Before I answer that, have you tried anything in a fetish way; are you sub or Domme or both?"  "You would certainly call me vanilla I think. Everyone is reading the book so I thought I would too.” She paused for a heartbeat and then said, “I am not sure if I would like to submit to a man, I think I might giggle too much if I had to call someone Sir or Master."  "There is much rubbish talked about BDSM, you do not need to call him Sir if that is not what you want, I have little interest in a female calling me Sir unless it comes naturally to her at a time that seems correct to use it.  "BDSM is like real life, it is not a video game, it merely has a few given rules that vary as much as any vanilla couple’s rules vary, that and blindfolds and restraints obviously"  "Something else I would not like until I trusted him enough.” She said and added “How to you write a contract?"  "I am a sadist, I like a little fear in my play, if you trusted me, or knew me too well, could you really be scared of me? I thought this was a statement too far and wondered if I was trying to sabotage this conversation. “There is even more bullshit talked about contracts.  No contract is needed by 999 out of a 1000 couples. “I say ‘do you want to play’? You answer ‘I am new to this’, I say, ‘understood’. What more needs saying?"  I watched her face, and saw a small frown crease her brow, “Remember, you have the power to stop whatever is happening by simply saying a single word, it is easier to stop what is happening in a BDSM encounter than, say, trying to get rid of some half drunk moron in a nightclub who is likely not to take no for an answer. If I do something you do not like, it ends and the play stops, it is in the skill of the Dominant one to not make you say that word."  "I don’t understand,” she said, ”if you are dominant how could I stop you doing what you want especially if I am blindfolded or tied up?"  "Blindfolded, AND tied up” I said with a smile, “I said before, BDSM is real life, if you say the stop word and the dominant one continues that is assault, or as close to it as make no difference, BDSM does not give anyone the right to, umm, go too far."  The coach stopped and two elderly couples boarded and I watch with not a little ‘fear’ as they decided where to sit, the universe was still on my side and they sat side by side 5 rows in front of the girl.  We were well passed half way to the city and I didn’t know where the girl was going, the University of Nottingham Campus would be reached in 5 minutes or so and she could easily be a student there. So as the coach moved on I said.  "It is much easier to show you, show someone I mean, what happens in BDSM play than to describe it, just like if you were going on a first date in the vanilla world you go on it and see how things progress”.  She sat for a second and then put the book back in her pocket, “Thanks for the chat but I have to get off in a couple minutes."  "Ok, I don’t usually talk like this on buses with cute females I don’t know so thank you for not running away screaming.”  I reached into my pocket and took out my business card, “I am a body piercer so I have a card, if you are bored give me a ring and maybe I can answer some more questions or, if your curiosity gets stronger, I can show you my Domly skills.” I reached forward and placed the card on her left thigh, gently pressing the card down, before taking my hand away.  She looked at it before picking it up and putting it in her pocket, so I said “I have a normal house on a normal street, although I do have a play room of sorts with some interesting things to play on and with, so if you visit you do not have to walk though a dark wood to a haunted castle."  she took this the way I hoped and laughing said, “That’s a relief, but this is my stop so bye"  "Have fun.” I said as she stood and I was very impressed, not sure why though, that as she got up and walked down the coach she didn’t look back to see who I was.  The coach stopped she got off and I thought I would not see her again and wondered if I should get off too but my commonsense won out and I sat still as we moved off. “One day I will remember to ask a females name” I said to the back of the seat in front of me and again thought ‘what a shame.'  "Good morrow.” Yes, I oft times answer the phone this way. It is Thursday at 7pm and I have been relaxing watching a video on tv.  "Hello.” A female voice replies.  A silence follows which I do not interrupt wondering if this is another recorded message asking if I want to make a personal injury claim or some other tedious drivel. “I thought reality might be better than fiction."  "Ah.” I am a sadist of few words but sometimes one has to be a little helpful, “That is easy to do, come to my home, knock on the door and then enter, all other decisions will be made for you from that point. If you wish things to stop simple say ‘Lucifer’ and I will stop whatever I am doing.  "You do like us to be scared don’t you, I thought we would be discussing what and how, not simply being told to visit."  "When you visit it will be a time of physical interactions, this will not be a time for you to serve me as a slave or for silly things like sitting at my feet waiting for permission to get up or speak."  "Ok, I just come and that’s it, you don’t want to know more about me."  "You are cute, you want to know more about submission and you called me.   That is all I need, I told you before it is for me to play without making you want, or need, to stop me; so all will be found out when you are here."  "When can I come and should I wear something specific?"  "What an entertaining fem you are, if free tonight come at 9 pm or come tomorrow at the same hour. As for clothes, if you wish to please then, as I am a male; heels, hold ups or stockings or bare legs, a thong, g-spring or nothing. Short skirt, not denim (hate denim), shirt with buttons and a skimpy bra or no bra, a coat may be wise as it is somewhat cold out."  "You sound like you have said that before, I will see what I can do and tonight would be best in case I chicken out tomorrow."  I gave her my address and added, “For your safety, and to make you feel a little more relaxed, tell your best friend you are visiting me, say about piercing if that is easier, and tell them you will call when you arrive here too. You will be safe here but it is a wise thing to be careful."  "I will see you tonight then, what should I call you."  "I will be waiting, and for tonight you can call me Demon.” I clicked the end call icon on my mobile and laughed out loud, maybe not such a waste after all.  I never plan what I am going to do with a sub, that way leads to disappointment more times than not, so I sat and watched my video till a suitable time came for me to stop it. I have a small pack of dogs so I sent all of them to their beds and went upstairs to change.  I checked to see that my playroom was ready and laid out my toys on a rack then, with 30minutes to go, had a quick shower and dressed in my Domly garb.  I decided to start the evening off on a high pressure moment, to see how she reacted, so dressed in leather trousers, knee length New Rock boots, vest and full length leather coat, all in black, obviously. To complete the attire I had recently made some leather gloves and a full hood, both with spikes and piercings, and these I put on before going downstairs.  I have a hallway leading from my front door to my kitchen with a turn to the right half way down leading to my staircase. At five to nine I turned out the light in the hall, darkness fell, I turned on the kitchen light, closing the door so only a thin sliver of light could be seen, and bought to life my cd player to beginning playing Metallica’s Black album.  I stood silently at the foot of my stairs, a still, dark shadow in the darkness, calmly wondering if she would come or not.  What a good girl she was, just after the 2nd track, ‘Sad But True’, began there as a double tap on the door.  I clenched my fists as a smile, which could not be stopped, came to my lips when the door opened and closed.  I have a tiled floor and her heels, clicked nicely five times before she appeared looking ahead towards the light in front of her.  I stepped quickly forward making a short, high pitched hiss to encourage her to turn a little towards me. Her head turned and, I am sure, she caught a glimpse of a moving darkness just before my right hand clamped over her mouth and my left arm swung over her shoulder allowing my left hand to grip her right arm, pinning her closely to my body.  "You came.” I whispered in her ear.  Her body was shaking violently and I could feel her breath coming in short, sharp, warm pants against my fingers, “Good girl, now control your breathing and relax a little, I have you safe and sound.” As I said this I used my right hand to brush her hair back over her ear and gently kissed it and, moving my head a little, I bit the lobe with just a little pressure from my teeth.  Even in her present shaken state, or maybe because of it, she let out a deep, long sigh and I felt her weight lean into me as she slumped slightly in my arms. Another gentle kiss on her ear followed by words spoken so softly they were more felt than heard, “Clever girl, pleasure and pain, fear and ecstasy and yours to enjoy or stop with a single word.” It is wise to remind a novice of their safeword I find in case, in the excitement of the new, they forget.  My right hand moved slowly inside her coat, which was of a dark material and almost as long as mine. My fingers slipped between the buttons of her shirt to rest lightly on a shear and half cup bra. Her flesh was very warm as I pushed my index finger under the top of the material and rolled her nipple under it then, drawing back my nail, I scraped over the small budding flesh. Another sweet sigh came to my ears.  I thought one more experience, before going up stairs, so my hand left her breast and moved slowly up to her throat and then, with a strong push, I sent her to thud against the wall and tightened my grip.  In the darkness I saw her eyes open wide as she saw my hooded face for the first time, “Sensations,” I said, “it can be all about sensations.”  “Upstairs, time to show you what the book could not.”  I released her and let her lead the way upstairs and into my playroom, the light was on dimmer so added a little dungeony atmosphere. I touched her shoulder to stop her then walked further into the room and sat on a chair facing her.  “Take off your coat.” I said.  I suppose it might be entertaining, and pleasing, to give a short deion of the girl at this point.  As I mentioned she fell perfectly into what I consider appealing, 5ft 7inchs tall, give or take an inch, a size 8 (I know such things as I sell corsets too) with breasts that fit nicely into my hand. Her hair, this evening, was shoulder length, straight and black with, something like burgundy hints. Her face was perfect, as only teenager’s skin can be, without wrinkles or lines and wearing black eyeliner and dark red lipstick.  As she took off her coat, which was a deep purple, I saw she was wearing a red shirt with full sleeves, a soft cotton skirt of a darker red that came to mid thigh, black fishnets and black, ankle boots, maybe, the same as on the first occasion I saw her.  “Hold-up’s or stockings? I asked, “show, don’t tell”  “You really don’t like small talk.” She said and lifted the hem of her skirt to show the lacy elasticated top of hold-ups.  “In case you do not know what these things are,” I waved my left hand to indicate my play furniture, “That is a St. Andrew’s Cross, a simple why to hold you safely, and securely, when being flogged; many like it this way, Dom and sub.  That is a spanking bench, you can lean against it or kneel on the lower cushion, also a nice height to fuck on. I have a pony, which is easier to show you it use than explain; maybe if you visit again I will let you ride it. And on the wall behind you there are many securing points if the cross is not wanted.”  “Come and kneel between my legs.” I said unzipping my coat and opening my knees.  She did not move and looked a little uneasy, “Be a good girl and come here so I can put some cuffs on your wrists. Now she came forward and knelt down, sitting on her heels and placed her right hand on my thigh.  “A little show of defiance?” I asked and not waiting for an answer I put on a leather restraint.  “These were the first things I ever made when I came to the Life.” She watched me intently with a small smile as I fastened the strap then, when it was done, she gave me her left hand for the other restraint.  “Close your eyes.” I said and once they were shut I said, “Open your legs and put your hands behind your back.” Her skirt rose up and I could see pale skin above the fishnets as she obeyed. I reached down and gently pulled my nails along her inner thigh and then sat back to look at her.  “In a few moments I will use some of my toys on you, I will begin with a soft toy and use it gently but then I will change it and use another type of toy and change again and each change will mean more sensation until it brings pain and maybe ecstasy”  I picked up a blindfold and told her to open her eyes and come closer. Once it covered her pretty blue eyes I told her to give me her hand and to stand up.  “Take off your skirt and give it to me.” She pulled down the zip at her hip and climbed out of the skirt. She wore a thin red g-string which was mostly lace and very seethough.  “Give me your right hand.” She did and I placed it on my left shoulder, “Now give me your right foot so I can add an ankle cuff. “Now your left.” Once the other restraint was on I ran my hand along the underside of her leg, over her hold-ups, across skin and gently touched the g-string with my finger tips.  I lifted her foot off my knee and, standing up, led her back to my flogging wall.  “As this is your first time I will let you keep your arms down by your side, I will still tie them as don’t want you covering yourself, but it is a little more comfortable this way. First though I need to do this.” I unbuttoned her shirt and took it off her compliant body. Her bra matched her g-string, cut low letting half a nipple show above both cups. I lifted out her left breast and sucked hard on her nipple pinching it between thumb and forefinger as I let it fall from my mouth, forcing a gasp of pain, or pleasure, from her lips.  I tied red rope to her left wrist restraint securing her hand about 6 inched from her side then did the same with her right wrist, then, before continuing and because she could no longer see me, I removed my hood and coat. I knelt in front of her and kissed her navel before tying a rope to her left ankle restraint and then her right, forcing her legs almost three feet apart  I sat back on my boot heels and looked at her, chest rising and falling quickly as she breathed in short, shallow breaths, one nipple, very pink, hard rested over the top of red material and moving down to more red material, wet and slick as her body, and mind, responded to stimuli physical and mental.  “This is a suede flogger.” I said beginning to gentle swing it in a figure of eight so that its movement caused a breeze that caressed her skin; goosebumps appeared over her arms.  I took half a step closer and the 18 tails brushed against flesh creating delicate slapping sounds. Downwards over left breast then right breast, from shoulder to nipple then, with a slight change of action, from hip to navel, left then right with not too much force, letting the suede tails move across skin once or twice a second.  I took another half step increasing the speed of my swing and the impact now made a very nice sharp sound. An added bonus, for me anyway, was that her hidden nipple had been forced out by the flogging action and the tails hit each pink morsel on each pass of the flogger.  Her skin was turning pink so I stopped and, discarding my flogger, ran my hands over her gently, creating marks with my nails and feeling the warmth I had created.  I have a very sharp dagger, broad of blade and 12 inches long in my playroom, I unsheathed it and laid the cold blade on her left breast, a nice intake of breath was my reward. I moved the edge across her breasts and under the right strap of her bra. A quick upwards pull and the strap split in two, a reverse journey, with a little more pressure this time, ended in another strap cut through. I reached behind her to unclipped the strap and her head came forward to rest against my neck and I felt a gentle kiss alight there. The clip opened (yes I can do this one handed) and felt the bra fall to the floor.  “More.” Was the single word she breathed against my neck.  “Obviously, little one.” My reply.  3 fingers of my right hand moved up quickly to slap the red material of her g-string, ‘very wet indeed’ I thought as I stepped back and reached for my red and black 36tail flogger.  Now, as the multi tails hit, her muscles twitched and small panted sighs came from her lips. Heavy, thudding hits moved a breast with each contact and made a wonderful sound as they hit her flat stomach, only a couple minutes of this and her skin was red and she was dancing on her toes with each hit  I stopped and dropped the flogger into my play bag and stood still simply looking at her, I had a strong, and strange, urge to untie her and carry her to my bedroom and gently make love to her for she looked so innocent and young tied against my wall. I had an overwhelming desire to ‘comfort, no wrong word, worship her was much closer to the mark.  Her head tilted to the left, as though listening for me, and then said, “Demon: Sir? Is everything alright?”  A slow smile returned to my lips and, stepping forward, slapped down hard on her left breast stinging the fingers of my hand. She cried out in pain and, no doubt, shock and her blind eyes looked down to her hurting flesh as her hand tried to reach up to ease the sensation  "All is just as it should be.” I said, “One more toy and then you can turn around for a time.”  I have two toys I call ‘little and big sister’, little sis is a whip flogger with a jointed tail section joining 8 shortish leather tails to the main body of the whip, very flicky and stingy; perfect for nipples and caressing g-strings with touches of fire.  Following the heavy beat from the music, heard and felt from downstairs, I flicked the tails at her legs, aiming just above her knees and, with a strong wrist action, moved the tails slowly upwards, hitting one leg then the other. I was tempted to aim at that small piece of red material but did not want to risk her stopping the play. I, therefore, moved outwards as I got higher and then continued moving towards her navel and up over her breasts. I was rewarded with many twitches, sighs and seeing her hands clenching and unclenching.  I pushed this play as much as I dared, as I love the way this toy touches nipples with fiery kisses, so I watching her face and body intently, looking for the moment when her strength, courage, tolerance or, god forbid, boredom got the better of her.  She was shaking her head from side to side, facing the heavens her mouth open sucking in air as though drowning, so I slowed my swings and eased off the pressure until finally I stopped.  Throwing the toy in to my bag I put my arms around her and pulled her to me, after a moment I raked my nails down her back – sensation upon sensation without time to recover or relax into a lessened state of awareness  “If you do not want this just says no, other things can still continue.” I said and slipped 2 fingers under her g-string and into her wet, warm cunt.  She almost screamed as she thrust her hips forward on to my hand so, smiling (being a sadist makes me smile a great deal), I thrust my fingers into her letting my palm thud into her clit.  I am a Dom, a sadist and I love to inflict pain but I do not like receiving it, so I had an entertaining decision to make for, as my fingers continued to make her body shake and quiver, her mouth found my shoulder and her teeth found my flesh and she bit me as the orgasm, I knew was coming, racked her body.  I added a finger and speed and as her groaning breaths moved against my skin I almost forgot my tortured flesh until she cried out, releasing her hold on me. As her body danced in uncontrolled spasms while waves of orgasm rippled through her the pain in my shoulder doubled up giving me an incentive to reinforce the speed and strength of my fingers lifting her onto her very toes.  “Oh god, stop please stop, for fuck sake stop, god oh god oh god.” Such sweet words tripped continually from her gasping mouth, and like the good Dom I am, I continued, She had arched her back, a beautiful human sculpture curving from toe tip to crown of head resting on the wall with nipples pointing to the sky,  I bent down and bit into her left nipple, teeth clamping hard, head pulling back and lips clamped to allow me to suck hard and long.  I felt a sudden explosion of hot wetness on my hand and she screamed in one long wild cry, second after second her scream continued  as my fingers and teeth did their work, “Demon, Lord, Sir, please, please stop.” she begged as the scream finally died  I stopped my fingers movement but left them buried inside her, releasing her nipple I supported her weight with my left arm as she straightened up to rest against the wall behind her. My fingers rolled over each other in the warmth of her cunt as I slowly withdrew them.  “Open your mouth”, I said, “You have made a mess on my hand.” This she did and as I placed my fingers close to her lips her tongue came out and eagerly licked them clean of her unexpected reaction. “Good girl.” I said as I watched her clean my hand.  “A slight rest, little one, then we will continue with more toys if you still wish it.” I watched her face hoping she would not want to stop. She said nothing as her breathing slowed. I asked, “Would you like some cold water?” With a slight nod of her head I said, “Stay still while I am gone, it will be only seconds but continue to rest against the wall your legs may not want to obey you if asked to do more than stand still.”  On impulse I gentle kissed her lips, tasting her cunt on them, before leaving to run cold water into a glass, returning I let her sip for a few moments until the glass was almost empty.  I placed my right hand, cold from holding the glass, against her cheek and let it travel over her skin to her shoulder then down her arm to reach the restraint. As I untied the rope I said, “I am not trying to break you, little one, I am not trying to release your hidden goddess or any other such sad drivel, I seek only to let you know yourself, your limits, your desires and allow you the freedom to enjoy and act on them.”  With the last rope untied and kneeling in front of her – I am worshipping again I thought to myself - I ran my hands up her legs and under the thin straps of her g-string and then slowly pulled them down her legs until she obediently lifted her right foot, then her left, to allow me to remove them.  I thought for a second or two, artistic considerations my only concern (sometimes my mind takes little detours) and then, making a decision, I removed her boots, ankle restraints then hold ups making sure my hands travelled slowly down her legs as I did so.  Naked, the first time is always so uniquely special, it is a shame how familiarity can diminish the beautiful sometimes - much too deep – maybe tis the fault of Metallica’s ‘Nothing Else Matters’ which is now playing.  No tattoos, no body piercings, (maybe I can add a piece of jewellery so she will never forget me) a tiny scar above her right knee, cunt, now swollen and pink, clean shaven, her skin red with a few subtle marks remaining from the flogging. Worshipping indeed, it is a good thing she wears a blindfold.  I stand and, taking her hand, pull her away from the wall, “Time to turn around,” I say, “Wait”  I leaned a 10 foot piece of wood, 10 inches wide by 2inches thick, against the flogging wall where she had been standing and then placed her hand on it, “Lean on this, it will hold your weight do not worry. It is best if you rest your head on your hands as this get your arms away from the flogger’s tails”  I caressed her back with my nails, leaving swirlling marks in her skin, “I have 2 toys like the ones you have felt, then others that are more severe, twin tailed straps in leather and rubber and then whips and for your arse I have paddles and a horse crop. You may be surprised how much you will like your back being flogged but I would hate for your front to feel left out”  Resting my weight against the full length of her body, crushing her against the hard wood, I reached around to attach a butterfly clamp to her right nipple and she cried out a little, which was pleasing, as it bit. I attached the other to her left nipple and said, “There is a chain between them, do not pull away from the wood or you will not enjoy the result.”  ‘Big Sister’ is a flogger with 12 plaited, leather tails about 36inch in total length, I stood behind her and, again using the typical figure 8 action, began to touch her skin, very gently to start and at a slow speed too.  Building up speed and strength over a couple of minutes she began to make sweet music of sighs and little cries, the tails hit with delicious sharp sounds of their own as I began to punctuate the pattern of swings by sending much stronger whip like flicks at her arse, which, soon made her tense her muscles in anticipation of the next strike.I laid this toy down and picked up my purple and black Cougar (a longer 12 tail leather cat with 4in leather thongs at each tail end). I began again using this new toy in the same place and in the same pattern but then moved to my left, continuing to hit as I moved.  Once I stood level with her shoulder and about a stride from her I changed the way I used the Cougar. I now brought it down in single strokes, striking from shoulder blade to shoulder blade and moving down her back to her arse using much more strength especially when connecting, horizontally, on her reddening arse cheeks.  I could see her face as I stuck, and with each hit her teeth bit into her bottom lip. I said, continuing to hit, “Your choice, 12 hard strokes to upper back or arse?” she did not reply for a couple of seconds so I added, “And then I will take the clamps of your nipples.”  “Bum” she replied so I hit her hard on her shoulders and said “Bum, what”  “Bum, Sir” she said quickly after a gasp  “I was expecting a ‘please’, but Sir will do.” And then added, “count them as I hit in case I forgot how many and have to start again.”  She did as was told and by the time she got to 12 her voice was shaking as the strikes had gotten harder, “Good girl,“ I said and throwing the Cougar onto my bag I rubbed her back running hands over slight welts in her skin. Standing behind her I kneeded her arse for half a minute to ease the sting and then moved to kneel by her head.  “A new sensation now, what fun this will be.” I could see her face react as she tried to work out what I meant, “Your sweet, poor, tortured nipple hurt when the clamp went on but now is almost bearable. But when I take it off, new blood with rush back in, nerves will awaken and you will have an experience to file away and fear for the next time. Rubbing it will greatly ease the pain but do not rub it until I say you can.”  I held the clamp and because I am a sadist I twisted it first with a gentle tug, she squealed loudly, “Sorry little one, I just wanted to make sure you remember my words.” I pushed and the clamp opens, her nipple sticking to it for a second before coming free.  Her mouth opened and she sucked air in in gasps as the pain returned to her pink flesh, it was still flattened from the clamp’s pressure and I waited for a count of 5 then said, “You may rub it now.”  Quickly her right hand reached under her and he caressed her breast and nipple, a most rewarding sight. I let this go on for a short time still holding the removed clamp.  “Now then, time to repeat this joy. You get a choice.” I released my hold on the removed clamp and it swung down freely to tug gently on her other nipple, another squeal; being a sadist is fun indeed.  “You can give me a reward, for all my kind attention, and rub your nipple straight away or you must count 60 seconds before I let you rub after it comes off.”  In a most sweet and quiet voice she asked, “What reward, Sir?”  I stood and stepped slightly forward so my leather trousers just touched her upper arm.  ”You can open your mouth.”  “I don’t think I can count to 60, Sir, so the reward is wiser.” I noticed she was smiling and as I pulled down my zip I said, “I must be doing something wrong if you are still smiling. Open.”  I slipped my prick into her hot mouth and, leaning over her, put my left hand between her shoulder blades ready to release the remaining clamp. I closed my eyes as her head began to move and I felt her suck and bite on my, most entertained, cock. “Let me know when you want the clamp off and I will quickly remove it for you to ease the pain”.  Her left hand had found its way between my legs and was holding my left thigh, gently pulling me towards her in time with her head movements. Her right hand she lifted and laid, palm up, on her back, I thought, so I had easy access to the remaining clamp.  After a very pleasing minute or two she took her mouth off me and said ‘now’ and returned to my ‘reward’. Reaching over I pressed in the clamp and pulled it off dropping them to the floor. I heard, and felt on my prick, her squeal as she sucked harder on me taking my prick to the back of her throat, her left hand pulling me in and holding me there though her right hand did not leave her back.  Her squeal became a mauling sound as her body began to shiver and only after about 30 seconds did her right hand finally move and I saw her massaging her right breast. I may be a Dom and a sadist but this sight, with this ‘attention, was too much (I am a male after all) so I pulled myself from her mouth and looked at the ceiling for a few seconds. This only just did its purpose as once my prick was out of her mouth the sounds she then made, as her orgasm came and diminished, could have deflowered a priest.  Fighting an almost overpowering desire to put my prick back in to her, anywhere in her, I finally put it back in my trousers and pulled up my zip – will power, such a pain in the arse at times.  I went to my bag and found my leg spreader, a 10mm bar of mild steel I had fashioned a few years before in the heat of a furnace - not unlike the forging of a new submissive I thought to myself. I found myself kneeling at her feet again as I replaced her ankle restraints and then secured these to the spreader bar, forcing her legs 30 inches apart. I made the mistake of looking up, and the sight of her open and inviting cunt almost made me change my mind about where I had put my prick.  There is a metal securing bolt at the top of the plank of wood so moving to stand by her head I took her hands and tied them to it so she was stretched along the wood’s length.  “The toys from now on will be much more intense?” I said. “I will use each for a minute or so but with each change they will get a little harsher. You already have pretty marks on your skin but these toys will leave better ones that will last for a few days, shall I begin?”  “Yes, My Demon.” she whispered and I saw her grip the ropes that tied her hands.  I take a red and black leather flog with twin, 8 inch, tails and began it strike her back, moving around her, watching her muscles twitch as the stinging leather hit, from neck to arse, leaving growing welts on her skin.  I hit with a constant strength as I moved from her left side to her right and back again until I was back at my starting position where I took a step closer to her and, reaching, sent the tails around her ribs to contact with her softly hanging breast. Her back arched and she screamed in a short feral explosion.  I dropped the flogger and, as she clenched her teeth, grabbed the hurt breast and squeezed it in my fist, “If you are expecting one thing the unexpected is so much better.” I said changing my hold on her flesh and rolling the nipple between thumb and finger.  I saw a tear appear under her blindfold so asked, “Do I continue, you remember the word to end this?”  I could see her think and then she said, “I remember but I don’t know, I think, I think I want to say stop.”  “ok, I will continue with a different sensation, use the word when you know you are sure about ending things.”  I untied her hands, along with one end of the spreader bar then said, helping her stand up, “I just need you to turn around and lay back on the wood.”  She was a little shaky as she stood so putting my arm around her I held her tight. As I did this her head lifted up so I kissed her and was pleasantly surprised as her tongue forced its way into my mouth. The kiss continued and my hand found its way between her legs and a single finger entered her gently slipping in and out as she lifted her left leg to give me easier excess.  “Enough.” I said removing my finger and mouth from her body, I helped her back onto the sloping wood and again tied her hands high above her head, to the securing bolt, I then secured the spreader bar between the ankle restraints under the wood. The bar has a loop at midpoint and to this I tied a length of rope, the other end I tied to the flogging wall, pulling her feet back under her arse and lifting her cunt high as her hips where pulled wide due to the width of the plank.  I sat on the chair I had used earlier and took off my boots and then trousers. I found a condom and with a little concentration, put it on then selected a horse crop, which had two short leather tails about 2 inches long, and moved to stand at the foot of the wood plank.  With small, sharp movements of my wrist I sent the tails across her nipples, first one then the other, hitting 10 or 12 times in a staccato rhythm then changing the target to hit once between her legs, on soft pink lips which stood, unexpectantly, open. I repeated this 3 or 4 times until I judged I had risked enough and she had had enough.  I moved to stand by her side and, while I stroked her body from nipple to inner thigh, I whispered in her ear, “Some do not think fucking is part of BDSM so I shall ask if you wished to be fucked before I do it as part of this experience.”  “Yes, Sir,” She said with a small smile. “or, Yes Please if you prefer.”  I untied her hands and she let her arms hang down at her side as I lifted my right leg over the plank so my prick was an inch or two from her and said, “Do not be cheeky, little one, you are still tied and just because I will be fucking you does not mean it will be the only sensation you will have  I inched forward and, pushing down on the end of my prick I slowly move inside her and like a good girl she pushed herself deeper onto me. I stood still, prick buried in warmth, and using the crop’s leather tails drew sensual trails across her skin from nipple to nipple to navel to clit and back again. Within a minute she raised her hands and held them again my hips as she began to move on my prick, drawing herself off and then pushing down to rub her clit against my groin as I stood immobile, her breathing began to get faster and, as her nails began to dig in, I saw the growing need she had for me to move inside her. Realising the moment had arrived I rested the crop across her belly and, putting a hand on each of her breasts, leaned down to kiss her ear.  My full weight was pressing down on her, crushing nipples against ribs through the flesh of her breasts. I thrust into her, my movement, adding more pressure and pain, caused her to groan loudly, “I will fuck you for as long as you stand the pain.” I whispered and, pushing myself up on to straight arms, continued to fuck her going as deep and fast as her mirrowing movements allowed.  My breathing was becoming fast as she placed her hands over mine and I saw her dig her nails deep into the soft flesh of her breasts between my fingers, ‘that is unexpected’ I thought to myself and took my left hand away to see what she would do.  Her hands squeezed and twisted her flesh, raking her nails across her erect nipple leaving lines as red as those I had given from my flogging.  “Harder.” A single word, she said, between gasping breathes as she reached for my left hand.  Making my hands into fists I pressed my knuckles into her breasts as her hands returned to my hips.  I fucked and forced my weight onto her as a building pain built in my hips under her hands, looking down I saw a bright red drop of blood on my skin, red lines, from this dear girl’s nails, mirroring her own marks; a small price to pay  I did not think I would be able to make her cum, or decide to stop this pain, before I came but suddenly her head thrashed from side to side and the raking of my skin stopped. She made no sound, did not breathe as her fingers spread wide and muscles moved in slow waves under the tight skin of her stomach.  I came a second later and, fighting the mix of pain and pleasure in the tip of my prick, continued to thrust into her until her movements calmed down.  A second’s pause, heart pounding, breathing trying to fill my lungs, vision clearing from an unnoticed unfocused gaze, I stand and let my prick die a little inside her.  I grasped the wood plank on either side of her neck and, leaning down, kiss her lightly on the lips. I gently removed the blindfold and threw it onto the floor.  Her eyes remain closed as I pushed myself up to stand looking down at her – fuck she was beautiful.  Her eyes opened slightly, they shine, a small smile comes to her lips and letting her arms fall to her side she closes her eyes again as the smile grows bigger.  Sadly, oh so very sadly, I pull myself out of her and stepping over the wooden plank sit down on the chair because my legs are shaking in a most entertaining fashion.  We stayed like that for about 5 minutes, her smiles, fading then bursting out bigger than before as the minutes pass.  I pulled on my trousers, discarding the condom into a bin, but remained barefooted as I moved to her shackled feet. I knelt down - I seemed to always be on my knees in front of her – and unbuckled the nearest restraint. Reaching under the plank I finally managed to unbuckle the other and, as if by magic, found myself within reach of her glistening cunt.  Like the nice Dom I am I lowered my head and, after one long, slow lick, bit gently into her soft pick lips, she tasted sweet, naturally and with a hint of strawberry from my used condom.  After a few seconds I stood going to her side to help her stand but as I got close she reached out and put the fingers of her left hand in to my unzipped trousers. I stopped and she pulled out my prick and, with a gentle tug, she led me back to her mouth, slow and gentle this time she held me with soft licks and sucks.  With eyes closed, her right hand moved slowly to go between her legs, with slow strokes, she put two fingers inside her.  I am old, but luckily not that old, for as I watched and felt her actions my prick came back to life. I took in what she was doing and let myself react as my body wished with no attempt at self control.  With a full prick in her mouth her fingers moved faster and, again, erotic moans began to come from her mouth vibrating on my shaft.  “I am going to cum.” I said giving her time to withdraw her mouth, if she wished, but she sucked as before and her fingers gained speed and strength adding wet sounds to my already stimulated senses.  I had to grab, with equal strength and need, the plank for balance and her hair to pull her on to me as I came in four strong spasms. She sucked, swallowed and bit as I came and I could not stop a cry cascade from my lips which went, something like, ”fffuuucckkkking jeeeeeeesus fucking Christ” as I tried to pierce the back of her skull with my softening prick.  As I died again, this time in her mouth, she gently sucked and licked until after a minute or so she took her mouth away, looked up at me and said with a smile, “Hello, Demon, my name’s Amy.”  The End - i think?

"life is full of endings that you never know are coming until they already pass"I wrote that quote in high school. Some of us learn and grow and im grateful that many things have been learned. Some answers will never be known for sure from my journey here in this lifetime. A new chapter is starting and perhaps the last chapter . Today i finally got to start moving things to a new home . A home that I feel will be my last but things are never certain and I have learned you have to live in the moment and ride each wave. I feel the shift of energy in the earth but I also know that things must shift so they can heal and balance. My Master Mate and Husband and I have been through many things in these last three years. We have grown and we intend to keep growing together. I have learned about the light and the dark. I have learned about walking paths. I have learned about consequences for actions. I have learned about addiction . I have learned what vanilla mindsets are like and how many of those could just things that are spiritual and misunderstood. I have definitely learned and experienced Dominance and submission through mind body soul spirit and energy. We cant protect people from all pain all we can do is try to guide but some lessons must always be learned by the being. It feels good to write, its been awhile since I sat down and let words flow. There is always new beginnings

Arousals continuing to build, she's craving to touch, to play and craving connection and interaction. Her sweet scent filling the room, permission to play, she places her puppy tail in along with her halter gag with a nice cock attachment which filled her mouth.. Her glass toy, clothes pins on her nipples and vibration wands in her hands.. The rain coming down outside her window send her mind into a relaxed state.. While she gives her body a taste of what it's been craving... Riding the waves of tease and denial. Find that edge, removing the vibe and the smacks of her hand to her cunt sending waves of pain mixed with sensations of delicious pleasures.. She begs and pleads .. wining into her gag, wanting so badly to cum... But that is not her choice.. she may only ride waves. Right to that edge once more.. denying what the mind and body both believe they want... Smacking and slapping those sensations away with baited breath.. Her body at the edge... Holding it as arousal floods her body and begins to crave more.

i tried to make a post about lilith earlier like i did on reddit but this site ho'd me and didn't post it after posting it was already posted. oh well. trust me if you go on reddit or otherwise it's there.   I think I've mentioned it before on here that I am above average with astrology, but I'm not an astrologer. I've never been trained on how to actually read the charts, how to make the charts. I've never taken any classes on it. What I've learned is simply through grit and connecting with other novices and pulling together information. and just amalgamating slash being alchemical And bare bonesing it, you know, like raw dogging it. But as I've shared on my previous points. my intuition is like Doja cats lyrics. Trust me, I got magical foresight. so I might not have all the understanding in three D of the words, the vernacular, the structure, the format, the step by step to do things. especially with people that are more versed in these esoteric and magic school and mystery school or any of these long standing principles and all the stuff in the mystic spiritual magic world, right?   It's like the vibe of not being a pedigree, but being a scrappy, rough misfit. LOL.   So I know more than the average person about astrology, but in the world of astrologers, I know nothing.       I've been riding extremely about this balance and holding the line when it comes to how the. Michael male divine energy engages with the feminine. Sophia Divine feminine original source energy. And because in this life I'm alternative, I'm kinky. I'm. BDSM y. I'm polyamory. in a world where I was meant to be in the sauce and I was meant to be. physically engaging with people in a romantic sexual. real life kind of realm. categorizing myself in my past experiences. But before I came to realize I'm supposed to be more of a teacher and I'm not supposed to really hold that. because when you start holding that, you lose the higher perspective. You lose like the higher realm of it. right? but before I figured that out and I was trying to get lost in the sauce, I've always. expressed relating to the opposite sex in a very Non mainstream way. So it's like, as I continue to write the way that my divine feminine resonates on Earth is with the other alternative girls. I'm connected to the divine feminine with the dark goddess energy, with the bad babe energy. with the girlies who are with the mafia vibe, who are with the gangsters who are with the dominance, who are with the. people running the emotional, physical, mental, sexual. edge.   Just like cyberpunk. 2077. I'm with the edge runners. Not all women are like that. Most women aren't like that. Not all men are like that. A lot of men aren't like that. And in the spiritual world, I have found most of them are very love and light and asexual to begin with. So it's like the way. I'm channeling this message is for a very unique small subset of people. But even in the confusion and stuff, I know what I'm seeing. I know what I'm I'm supposed to write about. I know I'm supposed to say I know the message that I'm spreading even. if I don't necessarily know who I'm supposed to spread it to. I know I got the goods. Deep down. and even if these goods never turn into anything but these notes like I know that there's something magic going on. Hashtag being a projector, hashtag being a instinctual spleen at projector hashtag having the juxtaposition cross of assimilation bringing in crazy ass concepts that are forward thinking. so ka. so desu ne. Unrelated side note. Because I am an anime snob I do not like the digital animation and the styling. Of the I watched this show because I am deeply into the fandom. I literally not being facetious, but probably two years straight watching over 15 people play the game as much as. much as they completed it and I have never seen anyone complete the game. I saw one person on You Tube from Australia that was a lady get very close to completing the game but then felt pressured to do phantom liberty without finding all the side missions and side things and stopped to go to Phantom Liberty to appease her. fandom. but yes, I went very deep into this whole lore of cyberpunk. and so I felt I needed to watch this show in order to honor the essence of it and the message that this amazing franchise had and I Like I do most modern anime was slightly disappointed. Didn't feel much from it. Got a little bit from it, but a lot of people love how that style of medium of art is nowadays. And I'm on purpose, not on the same. not on the same vibe. I went to a club that was anime based. And I came across a younger guy. that was still an adult, obviously. But he said, I'm stuck in the past and I said yes on purpose. and he was like the 90s and I was like actually to be specific. I'm stuck in the 1970s to 2005 talking about bigger concepts like Leji matsumoso Galaxy Express 999. space operas. Tenchi muyo slayers. ah megumi sama sailor moon, serial experiments lain, neon genisis evangelion, even lighter stuff like mermaid melody pichi pichi, metropolsis the ova. When I look at something, I'm looking to learn to expand my soul, grow, get the channeled message. I'm not here for shits and giggles and fun. 99% of the time when I'm consuming, it's like I'm doing this as an unpaid job, like as a message. So this stuff nowadays that I've been introduced to does not have a message. So I do not relate to it. I'm a bad girly with a mission. And I'm very serious about it. And because I'm human, I might go astray. I might slip. I might fall, but I'm always straight back to the motherfucking mission in the day.   I'm always going to be talking about relationships and sexuality and spirituality and all that, because I've literally my entire adult life, have been wired that way. And I was. probably starting to get trained to do that when I was a minor in. probably more appropriate manners. and spirit. But I just been feeling like this message of unity on your sovereign path and not getting lost in the entanglement and the ties....passion....of sexuality and fleetingness of of. obsession and fixation and getting off track because of the pool of what the opposite person might do. And St true to you and like holding into that and seeing how so many women, especially because when you're on the edge, you're dealing with More intense chemicals in your body. You're dealing with more power play. You're dealing with it on a higher level than the average person. It's like I I've just been like talking about getting in the sauce and how it it leads to at least on the woman's side cause I'm a woman, then being down bad and their lives literally ruined like either physically, mentally, emotionally. Unfortunately, sometimes sexually, like that's the the gamble playing on the edge that when you fall, you fall harder than someone that's just totting the line. But because the dark goddesses are out there seeking truth on deeper depth and dark corners, they're willing to take that risk. I'm assuming, you know, you guys, I guess I'll call you dark gods. I have an awareness, but again, I just don't have a penis. I don't have that energetic masculine quality. I'm more of a panther. You guys are more like lions. Like III see it, but I just really can't tap into it. I can only observe. So I'm guessing same thing for y'all, but I can't say it from the core of my soul because that's just not what I was meant to do this time around. And a parmy hates to say stuff that isn't 100 percent confirmed. LOL. To the best of my confirmation at least, or to the best of my sourcing.   All this to say, my astrology hasn't gone to the level of looking at the transits or the. conjunctions. I know what they are. I can read when I see it on a chart, but it's not something I know how to make my own. It's

How hard is it to actually read a profile before messaging someone? I mean really, it's not that difficult to do, either that or people just don't care. Seeing the messages I get it seems both. You want fuckmeat, move on I'm not it. I'm also sure as hell am not sharing my picture with anyone until I feel comfortable with you. I will also say again that this is the fastest way for me to ignore your messages and/or block you:  1. Clearly not reading my profile, I'll know if you are not from or around the location I stated, being right out disrespectful and thinking I'll actually want your "guidance" or be your "toy" when you couldn't take the time to look at my interest list or my limits which are all up to date.  2. Sending me pictures without asking me, this includes any kind of picture. If I want to see what you look like I will ask. Same with sending me a phone number or any other type of social media ID, if I want it I'll ask. 3. If you can't open a conversation with more than "Hi, how are you?" or just "Hi." Then I'm not interested, I like substance and if you can send a good opening message then I'll be more likely to wanna talk to you don't bother with anything half assed it just won't work.  4. You're profile and/or interest list is blank. I could understand if your proifle is brand new but if you've been on this site for more than a month I think you've had plenty of time to write and add in your interests. That helps me guage what kind of person you are. 

What being a sub means for me Being submissive to someone allows me to put my at ease knowing that no real pain will happen under My Dominate's protection. I know what is done is for my own benefit or theirs but not just theirs. It allows me to turn off the part if my brain always questioning or assuming something bad is about to happen. Being shown I belong to that person comforts me! I wish to find one who will help me be better! Not just for their pleasure but also in my life! Someone who will communicate their needs and consider all mine. Someone who is willing to balance not just take. Someone who has my best interest and my heart at the forefront of their mind. They guide, they support, they encourage me to be my best self! Although I struggle with it I am taking steps to better my life and work towards my goals both at work and home, I'm learning about how to be a better active listener currently and hoping to try to be more active and eat healthier.

Your Kink Personality Type isBDSM CONNOISSEUR As a BDSM CONNOISSEUR, you're in the perfect position to start exploring BDSM more fully.  You may be working hard on avoiding the vanilla rut right now, but with a little more confidence and support you can quickly take things to the next level. You're strengths at a glance:SENSUAL ~ SMART ~ ATTENTIVE

What I seek, what I need, is for someone to take me and absolutely crush me...break me down completely, physically, mentally, sexually...push my boundaries. Bend me over, take my ass...fuck me hard. Talk to me, tell me how you're owning me, tell me what you're going to do to me. Call me names. So often I see BDSM porn where the "slave/sub" is completely into the "torture"..."oh yes, more master/mistress! More!" and that is so far off-base from what I seek. I shouldn't want it. Ideally, you've broken me to the point where I'm doing it to avoid worse punishment. "If you don't do _____, then _____ will happen." I should be dreading it...crying, begging, pleading for my master/mistress to stop. Begging a master not to cum in me or in my mouth. Begging a mistress to stop before I bleed. The earth shattering orgasm should belong to THEM, not ME.I get messages on here from so many straight masters...who tell me that they're going to branch out and that they're into what I seek. Then they quietly fade away. And the search goes on.

I have been asked to update my journal and my relationship status since its been a few years.  I am polyamorous. I believe in multiple loves, multiple relationships, communication, trust and respect for everyone involved. I currently have my own submissive whom I've been with for 10 years. He lives with me and does not expect to be included in my exploits.   I love being poly. I have so much of myself to give.  I am looking for a Dom of my own.    If you have any questions and would like me answer them here in my journal please feel free to write me. 

I really do need to find a man to take me in for retraining. Since my last LTR ended I have been unable to find anybody of the calibre needed to properly dominate me. And properly dominated I need to be. If you are the sort of man who would grab me by my blonde hair and unceremoniously put me over your knees, push my skirt up off my bum, pull my panties down as I squealed and kicked around and give me a thrashing for nothing more than pouting my disapproval at you when you told me to do something. If you are the sort of man who is comfortable enough in your ownership of me to publically humiliate me and/or lend me out to one of your mates occasionally. If you are the sort of man who would keep a variety of implements in the wardrobe solely to punish me with and used them on me regularly whether I misbehaved or not just to keep me in my place and because you enjoyed doing it. If you are the sort of man who would make sure that I always had fresh welts and whip marks on me to demonstrate your complete ownership and domination of me. If you are the sort of man who would lock me in the garage, shed or spare room for hours on end to give me plenty of time to reflect on my shortcomings before coming in to administer a good thrashing to me. If you are the sort of man who would take great pleasure in seeing me hog tied and gagged, struggling on the floor. If you are the sort of man who would give me a good slap across the side of my face hard enough to send me sprawling if I back chatted you. If you are the sort of man who would expect a girl to know her place, do all your housework, do it to your expectations and do it with a smile on her face or else. If you are the sort of man who, while watching the footy on TV and I was doing a big pile of ironing in the laundry, would shout out to me for a beer and expect me to immediately fetch it from the fridge, open it and put it into a beer cooler before hurrying to hand it to you with a smile on my face. If you are the sort of man who would not allow me to leave the house or do anything without your permission and who dictates to me what I should be wearing. If you are the sort of man who would take great pleasure from watching me squirm and squeal on the floor as your belt leaves bright red welts on my bum, thighs and back. If you are the sort of man whom I would be a little bit frightened of. If you are the sort of man who expaspects me to be dressed like a girl should be dressed to please a man, in miniskirts, short dresses, sexy panties, heels and stockings. If you are the sort of man who would occasionally reward me by treating me like a lady even though we both know that I’m nothing but your slut. If you are the sort of man who is intelligent, articulate, financially stable and is prepared to put in the work on me to give me the life that I deserve. If you are even some of those things you are a real man and a rare man. Where are you? I NEED YOU!

A note from me, K.  A bit of a look into our recent goings on. This was a big moment for me and I want to savor it. I had to break it up because it is quite a long entry.    M has been behaving really well lately! Behavior modification and control is my primary interest and all the implements of our lifestyle are just ways of helping me achieve that control. We have had the conversation regarding my desire for cuckolding before, many times. I bring it up quite a bit, I just can't get it out of my head. I need this for me. Back in 2019 M accompanied me on a few dates with potential bulls, but I don't think he ever thought it would seriously happen. This is very different from when I saw submissive clients professionally. I never ever had sex, I never ever gave head, I never even gave hand jobs. If my clients were allowed an orgasm, they would bring themselves off. M knew that when I finally allowed him sexual contact that we had taken a serious step. A premature ejaculator, he was and is a horrible lay and has never got better. I honestly didn’t expect him to. I got off on my control of him and absolute obedience, not his penis. And now while we have probably only had PIV sex 8 or 10 times in the last 3 years, I desire it more than ever, just not from my husband.  The pandemic drove us all inside and away from people we didn't know. The dates with potential bulls ended and I think M figured that was it. But, my desire for a bull has continued steadily building this entire time and has come to a tipping point. I decided to re-engage the subject in one very direct conversation with M last weekend. I have also decided to keep him on a more frequent chastity release schedule as positive reinforcement while we move forward in adjusting to our dynamic and while finding a bull for me again, in earnest. This conversation was for me to lay out my intentions in full.  We had scheduled this conversation for last Saturday a week before so that we would both be ready. We spent the morning at a farmers market searching for fresh produce that M would turn into a delicious dinner while I spent the rest of the day getting a massage and reading in our backyard garden. After dinner I suggested we move to the living room where I sat in the chair that I have for years been using for spankings and directed my husband to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of me. His lack of pants showed me his diaper was soaked and I put his pacifier in so he wouldn't be tempted to speak.  While he was sitting in front of me I explained to him first, that I loved him, that he had done nothing wrong, but that we would be renewing our search for a bull. His immediate reaction was to put his hand to his mouth in an effort to remove the pacifier so he could speak. I leaned forward, caught his hand and told him, “let me finish.” I explained to him that I would also be allowing him a more frequent release schedule from chastity, which drew out a smile behind his pacifier gag. I explained that his new permissions came with new expectations and that it was directly related to, as I put it, "returning to vigorously searching for a bull." His smile faded instantly which breaks my heart, but I have made my decision and know it will be best for us both; our lifestyle dynamic has many places left to go, but this is step one in getting there. I explained gently but firmly that he needed to get used to the idea of there being other men in our lives. I told him that I was completely finished treating him with kid gloves around cuckolding, that this was something I needed that he couldn't provide and that he knew that.  "M...we have come so far. I have emasculated you to a point you know that I could never take you seriously as a sexual partner. You know this and you know I need someone else, don't you?" He again lifts his arm to remove his pacifier gag so that he can speak. "Nope. Just nod your head, baby. Nod your head that you know I need this." 

  Unless you want to clean our house or pay our bills, we don't want you.  (Note: this is called a joke)   Daddy is all i need or want and i don't share, nor does He.     i am on here to communicate with friends i've chatted with since collarme was a thing.  i have no need or want to be bothered by the so called "doms" that throw temper tantrums when i point out i am happily taken.  Just a clue, it's none of your concern why i am on here.  i don't message or bother you, so don't bother me.  If you are not my Daddy you mean nothing and i owe you nothing.

In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. (Acts 2:17). These things will be accurate to what has already been written in scripture and we should defend these things in the faith and know that new beginnings are coming soon. Jesus's homecoming is not a pretty thing. It is a destructive force cleaning the earth of wickedness to bring about real harmony and righteous alignments within many aspaspects of things. The revelations people are receiving are warning us of what's to come. Some things need to be deciphered for their meaning but there is a meaning and still other things and visions and prophesy are what they are. Everything is tied into the spiritual because the spirit realm is real. God is real. Jesus is real. The adversary is real. The Bible is the truth and the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.(Hebrews 4:12) Get out of worldly pursuits and instead seek God's kingdom first. The rewards we reap in the afterlife come from the faith and works we did while alive. Maintain good works. Faith without works is dead and work without faith is also dead. Do not live this life chasing something that won't last. Jesus is the King and authority seated on high on a throne. The Bible clearly communicates behaviors and conversations that are right or wrong. Jesus is not expecting overnight perfection or overnight healing. Things take time he knows this. He just wants you to learn the truth and build yourself up according to the word. The inward person matters more than you may think. It is not always easy building and healing but if you call on Jesus he will not forsake you. He will hear you. He will complete the work he has started in you. He wishes for all to come to repentance and be saved. Do NOT take the mark of the beast when it comes. Please come join Jesus at his thousand year reign. Keep your faith in God and Jesus. Please don't cast it away. 

Vanilla relationships and monogamous relationships are perfectly acceptable.  However, these things are NOT my interest and are not for me.  While this site is a bit limited in orientation, I identify as a dominant sadist.  While I can enjoy sex occasionally, I tend to require kink as an aspect of my relationship.  I am also an ethical non-monogamist, and require that any partner\playmate be accepting of that. Really, I'm looking for a good person who's understanding and reasonable who I can sexually destroy and finish the evening with hot tea and cartoons under a warm blanket.

If you found a normally locked door unlocked, wouldn't you worry?  I went away for the long weekend and came back last night after dark. Unloading the car, putting things away, blah blah. I stopped and looked at the kitchen door. Unlocked. I lock every door when coming in out of habit. Unlocked. I start looking around, checking closets, go downstairs, check that door, the windows. Nothing. Nothing looks missing. Eventually I head upstairs, with a kitchen knife. Okay, with two kitchen knives because what if the person waiting to murder me knocks the first one out of my hand? Secret knife in my hoodie pouch.  Now, you're probably saying but you have a dog, she will attack. I would think so, too. What she did was walk upstairs and go straight to her bed. The weekend wore her out. I was on my own. You might also think that's a good sign if she doesn't hear or smell anything unusual. She also has walked right by french fries and never noticed. Let's not count on her awareness to save the day. Back to me. Back when I was paranoid I bought a, what are those things called, the zapper thing, because I don't know how to use a gun and I would probably shoot a hole into my closet and ruin several of my favorite dresses. I went to get that to continue my search and it was dead. Why would I keep it charged? Indeed. Kitchen knife and secret hoodie knife it is. Every closet, peeled back the shower curtain, looked under every bed. Checked my jewelry. All fine. And then I closed and locked the bedroom door and wound a belt around the handles and slept with the tv on.  What about the kitchen door? All I can think is I missed relocking it the last time I went out. You better believe I won't be doing that again any time soon. The kitchen knife and secret hoodie knife are still on the nightstand. 

Submission Is Not Automatic Trust Submission is not a shortcut around trust. It is not permission for a stranger to immediately assume authority. It is not an invitation for someone to demand obedience, personal information, sexual access, photographs, financial control, emotional vulnerability, or intimate details simply because they identify as a Dominant. Calling yourself submissive does not mean every person who claims dominance suddenly outranks you. That should be obvious. Unfortunately, within BDSM spaces, it often needs to be said repeatedly. There are people who hear the word submissive and assume it means available, compliant, easily directed, or eager to prove devotion. They treat submission as if it is a standing offer rather than something chosen, negotiated, and deliberately given within a specific relationship. That misunderstanding creates fertile ground for manipulation. A submissive may deeply desire structure, service, obedience, discipline, ownership, or surrender. None of those desires remove the need for caution. None of them require immediate trust. None of them create an obligation to submit to whoever arrives first and announces themselves as Dominant. Submission may be part of someone’s identity. Trust is built through behavior. Authority is granted through consent. Those are three separate things.   Full post here:  here: https://www.tlduncan.com/post/submission-is-not-automatic-trust

He didn't mince words.  "Let me see you in make up" My hands trembled as I spread some foundation on my face. Being watched made the experience more nerve racking.  Twenty minutes later, I turned towards him, hoping for approval. He studied me for a moment, then smiled kindly. "Not bad for a first attempt. But it's not you yet." I looked in the mirror. The eyeliner was uneven, the lipstick too bold, and the blush sat awkwardly on my cheeks. "So... start over" he said. i wiped it all away. Again. And again. And again. Each attempt grew more natural. My hands steadied. The lines became cleaner. The colors softer. Nearly two hours later, I turned to face him once more. This time, he nodded with quiet satisfaction. "There you are," he said. "Not because it's perfect—but because you finally stopped rushing and started seeing yourself.  From now on, this is how you will see yourself. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, unsure of who exactly was looking back at me.

Punishment is based on creating a fear response of some kind. Fear erodes trust and connection. Trust and connection are essential for the surrender of a submissive. Therefore, punishment erodes what is essential to a healthy, successful Ds dynamic. This makes punishment of any sort incompatible with my relationships.  I am a leader and a carer in my career and daily life.  I do not punish any of my charges, and it insults the dignity of another creature to punish them. I make mistakes, but never intentionally. I have no motivation to brat or test the boundaries a partner may set for me. I hate failure, and I hate displeasing. My motivation is to make a partner proud. That is incentive enough to avoid mistakes. That is, provided I have a partner capable of feeling and expressing pleasure, and who wants to have pride in who serves him. A constructed, unnecessary punishment added on top of knowing I have failed or displeased just creates more pain for everyone, and even has more subtle, insidious impact, such as contributing to feelings of inadequacy. The best way to avoid making a mistake is communication, flowing clearly and in quantity in both directions. The best response to a mistake or misunderstanding is to try to get clarity, then discuss it, find common ground, and discuss how to avoid what went wrong. I believe in accountability and responsibility, and also in practicality. I acknowledge that my position on punishment is perhaps unusual or unexpected. I consider myself well healed from my traumas, none of which I would consider terribly serious to start with. I know myself, and I know my needs. I have no hope of serving anyone if I cannot serve with an open, vulnerable heart. Some submissives apparently require a punishment mechanism, either to set aside their mistakes with a physical reminder or something else to even the scales, or to have some sort of other constructed reminder of which way the power exchange flows. I am not so unfortunate. I can understand these concepts perfectly well through verbal reassurance.

 When I wrote my profile, I had no idea what this site was like, but now that I've been here for a little while, I have a few things to add:I'm not interested in slaves, domestic servants or switches. This should go without saying, but I'm also not interested in men who aren't single. Long distance relationships don't work. If you don't currently live in (or near enough to conveniently drive to) the state of Florida, we will not be a match.My inbox has been flooded with messages from nameless, faceless guys who want to chat, but I'm not on this site looking for anonymous penpals. I'm sorry.I'm not interested in talking to submissives without photos. You've seen my face. If you feel uncomfortable showing me yours, that's totally fine, but if you're just words on a screen, I'm not going to be able to take you seriously. I am monogamous, and I have absolutely no interest in cuckolding. If that sort of thing interests you, you are not a candidate for the kind of relationship I'm looking for, so please don't waste my time or yours.  

What am I intreseted in?  What am I looking for?  I am open to many situations.  Mostly I would like an online sub to be my babygirl.  Someone who wants to live her normal life and yet needs someone to give her stability and direction.  I would guess a Daddy figure is the most accurate description. All of that being said I understand we all have different views of the perfect relationship. While I search for my "perfect" match, I am willing to learn about what you want, and who knows, it may become what I want. Let's talk and see if we can meet on some common ground.

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Submissive100% Rope bunny99% Pet98% Slave98% Primal (Prey)97% Non-monogamist96% Degradee86% Voyeur80% Masochist78% Experimentalist70% Boy/Girl61% Exhibitionist53% Ageplayer40% Brat18% Vanilla2% Primal (Hunter)1% Brat tamer1% Switch1% Daddy/Mommy0% Rigger

I don’t know how to exist inside my own skin right now. My body hurts constantly—every joint, every nerve buzzing or burning in some private hell—and yet my emotions are stuck in this flat, gray fog. It feels like I’m floating a few feet outside of myself, detached, watching someone else limp through my days. I’m supposed to care about things, supposed to feel urgency, supposed to feel desire, but mostly I just feel… blank. A haze. The hardest part is intimacy. Sex has always been a cornerstone of my identity, something that made me feel alive, connected, real. Now I lie beside people I love, people I want to want, and it’s like my body is a locked door. My brain remembers what it’s like to crave, but the signal doesn’t make it through. Instead I get this sense of obligation—this is who you are, this is what they expect, this is what you should be doing—while my body and spirit just won’t answer. I go through motions, or avoid them, and either way I feel like a fraud. It’s disorienting: physical pain screaming from one side, emotional numbness pressing from the other. I’m caught in between, unable to move fully toward either. I don’t know how to bridge that gap, how to show up in love when I’m not even present in myself. Some nights I wonder if this is permanent. If I’ll always be half-alive like this, longing for connection in theory but unable to touch it in practice. I miss desire like an old friend I can’t remember the face of. For now, all I can do is write it here, admit it to myself. Maybe that’s a start.

Polite heads up to anyone I engage with. I am a real person, with real honest values, with a real job in the public sector. I hop on in the middle of the night but during work time frame you will never see me on here. I actually enjoy serving the community but my goal was to find like minded individuals to have an open relationship. Open to me means we are single and not married and freely respecting our bodies and choices (can't be done when your married your disrespecting your wife and kids, you got problems at home pay for your wifes gym membership and have that honest chat to turn things around don't come to me). I don't entertain time wasters. I do expect the men I engage with to be employed, be in good job, be generous. No I am not trying to con you, nor get your bank balance, I am not entertaining another bad experience where I discover on multiple dates I am the only one paying the bill and a 5 day date cost me £400 because the other person was a cheapskate. I am independent, I am generous but I am no longer entertaining time wasters. Other than that have a nice day.   C

Upon His Knees   He kneels upon the plush carpet, time etched in silver at his temples, A devoted servant to her throne of silk and shadow. Her hands, adorned with crimson, guide him gently down, To where her essence calls like honeyed nectar.   With reverence, he parts the petals of her bloom, Tongue tracing ancient patterns of worship and surrender. Each lap a prayer, each flick a testament to his devotion, As she arches above him, goddess of his universe.   Her fingers tangle in his graying hair, a crown of submission, While waves of pleasure ripple through her sovereign form. He drinks eagerly from her chalice, deep and sweet, Lost in the sacred ceremony of flesh and power.   Her thighs, strong and commanding, frame his weathered face, A throne room where his service finds its highest purpose. Her moans are royal decrees that echo through his soul, As he worships at the altar of her divinity.

i have been going through hell for the past week. Yesterday was finally here and gone. Yeah, for that and thensome. i am so drained from the 15 hours of work put in for the day, cleaning the house, laundry and making 3 sets of beds from washing all the bedding (pillows, blankets, and sheets). Then this morning i got sick while sleeping and woke to it.... yes one can get sick and sleep through it. i was so dead tired that i woke sometime afterwards, so then i had to wash the bedding of mine, all over again........minus the pillows.  Good thing ijust had a duvet cover on my bed as a blanket, so no heavy comforter was needing washing again... phew. Now, i lay in bed, with a xour tummy i just fed screambled eggs and cheese. ..... Now that i think about it...... i wonder if my tooth pain is making me feel this way? those eggs were soooooooooooooo good the doggo's wanted them too, they were at me heels trying to get anytihng that would fall into my lap. lol Thank goodness for Friday. Now, Saturday is the next day from Hell.

Let's talk about skin care and smelling good Morning Routine: Cleansing: I start my day with a mild cleanser to freshen up my face. It’s essential to remove any impurities that may have settled overnight. Toning: After cleansing, I use a soothing toner. This helps in balancing the skin's pH and prepares it for the next steps.

 Byrdie 

After discussing my challenges with dating or even befriending certain types of people, my friend wants to come up a snappy phrase for me to use that translates into, "Yes, but your complete list of Issues Has to Fit in Large Print on an Index Card or It’s Too Much for Me.” That's much pithier than what I originally said, so ... progress!