This bears reposting just about everywhere. I don't know why I bother though; guys will agree with their mouths but so many don't agree with their hearts: What do you mean when you offer to serve? What do you mean when you offer to BE of service? What do mean when you offer yourself in servitude? Do the answers to these questions bring up visions of you being bound helplessly while being exquisitely tortured, teased to the verge of orgasm? Do you envision some Amazon Goddess sporting a huge strap-on taking you anally? Do you envision yourself prancing around in some French Maid Costume and being asked to provide oral service to a Mistress? Do you envision some woman sqatting over your helplessly bound body "forcing" you to serve her orally? Or do you envision being put over her knee and spanked like a naughty little boy? Yes, nice visions aren't they? However, not one of those visions is the definition of "serve", "service" or "servitude". Oh, I'm sure many subs consider them to be just that, but if you check your dictionaries you won't find any mention of French Maid Costumes, bondage, strap-ons, oral sex, or any other fetish you may enjoy. In fact you won't find any mention of fetishes at all in the definitions Serve is defined as: 1. to work for, be a servant; 2. to act in a specific capacity; 3. to place food before, wait on; 4. to be of assistance to. Service is defined as: 1. the occupation or duties of a servant; 2. the act or means of serving; 3. duties performed as an occupation. Servitude is defined as: Submission to a master; slavery. When you offer to serve a FemDom, what you are offering (or should be offering) is the surrender of your control. You should know her well enough to trust her with your life. When you offer your servitude to her, you are telling her that you trust her judgment, you trust her to keep you safe from harm, you trust her to know what is best for both of you, you trust her decisions and desire to follow her orders and obey her in all things. Your offer of service is your ability to let go of your ego and your free will (control) and allow her to control you. Serving is, first and foremost, the act of making her life easier. It is compliance with all her desires, wishes, orders. Yes, BD/SM and fetish play, more than likely, will be included as part of the relationship. But overall, the D/s ect of the relationship will be where you have turned your control over to her and you do as she says. It is about pampering her and catering to her. Everyday life will be a part of this, for most people do have to work, bills do have to be paid, people need to see doctors occasionally, and dentists. Then there are family get togethers, family emergencies, social gatherings with vanilla friends and also with D/s friends. For the most part, life will seem pretty vanilla, but there will be one difference. IF you have truly submitted, then your actions will be measured by how your Mistress would feel about it. Your decisions will be based upon what you are allowed, or not allowed to decide without her permission. You will treat others with respect, but especially other women. You will consider that your actions would reflect back upon your Mistress, and therefore act in a manner that would make her proud of you. There may be other constant reminders, she may insist you wear panties under your clothes at work. But you will always remember that you have submitted to her and will honor that commitment. How can you serve your Mistress - what are the ways? Here are some suggestions: -Make sure her home is clean and neat. -Make sure her clothes are clean and neat. -Prepare her favorite foods for her. -Prepare her bath. -Rub her feet after she comes in from working all day. -Offer her a massage if her day was very stressful. -Offer to do her manicure and pedicure. -Have her favorite music playing or find her favorite show or movie on TV. -Surprise her with flowers. -Serve her coffee as soon as she gets up in the morning. -Ask what clothing she wants laid out for her. These are just a few of the ways you can serve her once you have been trained in what she wants and likes. Don't be afraid to use your imagination to surprise her (provided of course that she has no problem with you doing this occasionally). A happy, contented, pleased, relaxed woman is a woman who will then have no problem torturing you, using you, or even indulging you with a fetish or two that are your favorites…………just to show you how much she really appreciates your service and submission to her. So, what are you offering?

Below is a cut and paste of a partial response to someone who asked me "where am I from?" I told them to google why asking a POC that question is racist. For a change, they did. My response explains not only why one should not ask where I am from, but also why I require my potential anything to be an intersectional feminist.  I will also point out that it is not my responsibility to educate you, it is your own responsibility to educate yourself. ***** If we simply look at the stats from last weeks international mother language day, English is the most spoke language in the world. The reason for that is because of the colonization by the British empire. Which leads me to point out how not homogeneous the population of UK is as during that time, the colonists literally kidnapped from every corner of the world then forced (the kidnapees) to reside in the UK. The "barbarians" were regularly brought back and exhibited then dumped to live in the worst conditions if not as slaves. The white majority forced all these minority to erase their rich culture in order to survive. And not just in the UK but at their homeland. Simply research into chicken tikka masala - not a dish that existed in India before the British invasion. One also simply has to trace the development of rice as a cash crop around the world to observe the change abolition had the Chinese diora. There are many examples in the history to demonstrate the diversity of UK's population. ... This is why in my profile I clearly state I am looking for partners who are intersectional feminists. People who have at least attempted educated themselves about how different factors in the world that have affected peoples lives, specifically that of disadvantaged individuals. Because while I do not expect my partners and I to share common life experiences, empathy and the willingness to understand where each other comes from is an important thing to have in every relationship. Being supportive and an ally is another.

System bug, it seems Different Journal listing at collarspace.com/USERNAME  versus different at: https://www.collarspace.com/personals/v/THEIRuserNUMBERhere/details.htm  In the former their most recent journal entry is 11/29/2021 4:39:27 PM but in the latter it does show their excellent 1/9/2022 1:16:55 PM Journal entry.  Reloading browser page doesn't fix. With system issues like this, you have to wonder whether there is no Message button because they wish to hide, like maybe too many emails following their Journal post, or whether that's a software problem too. Anyway here's what they wrote: "Most of us don't know what we really want. We have vague unrealistic general hopes (such as wanting a lottery win), but when asked to name our specific realistic goals we often struggle. It's probably because so much of our life is bound up in everyday survival - the endless toll of 24-hour emails and social media, plus all the issues and stresses we're dealing with take their toll on our ability to dream and make those dreams come true. " Great point. While it won't solve all these personal and societal issues, I highly recommend meditation or other mindfulness practice (there are others) as one part of one's toolkit and regular weekly, if possible daily, routine. That's for all of us, regardless of BDSM identity, gender etc. Wishing everyone a great week ahead. Or at least a bearable one, haha.

* ISO of a decent, naturally submissive gentleman to grow old with in a committed LTR relationship * NOT interested in horndogs, freak shows, married and cheating, online anything, pay to plays, or anything else subpar  * just want a great guy who is submissive by nature, who knows his place in a FLR with whom to share My life * NO drama, excuses, or BS * am seeking a quality submissive man ready to settle down and enjoy life with a truly Dominant Woman in a D/s relationship * not willing to settle for less

Does anyone else feel the pain!!!! I don't necessarily hate one-liners, but I do prefer to have more substantial and thoughtful conversations with people. It shows that they are genuinely interested in getting to know me and are willing to put in the effort to make a connection. When someone sends a one-liner, it can feel like they aren't really invested in the conversation or interested in me as a person. It's important to me to build meaningful connections with people, and that starts with engaging and thoughtful conversations. Of course, everyone has their own preferences and communication styles, so what works for me may not work for everyone. But as for me, I'm looking forward to having deep and meaningful conversations with those who are interested in getting to know me better! 🌸😊

July 5th - 11th , 2023 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Applications being taken for a maid / butler You may be Trans~CD~CIS Female~CIS male , being who you are is important to Me. For all the above'categories' , adept with make-up application is a bonus, being a pain-slut is a bigger bonus !! However , being good at your role is the key. You will be there to serve Me and attend to My needs/whims/desires. There will be public outings - if this is NOT acceptable to you ~ then please do NOT apply.!  Be it for one day , an overnight stop , 2 days , 5 days , that is immaterial. If you are available then come and have fun.! No fees either way , this is NOT a pro contract it is private arrangement. You will provide your own uniform(s) , and understand High Protocol .! I have an Apartment in central Manchester for Sparkle Event 2023. I look forward to conversing with you in due course

!IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION I'm looking for someone initially to come in as a cleaner / domestic drudge for a few hours either weekly or fortnightly and then go away again. I have no intention of putting anyone up overnight, nor am I initially looking for any more than stated above although whoever is chosen will be subjected to strict oversight by myself and be suitably punished should they not perform to the required standard. With that in mind, you MUST be based in South East UK, either in Kent or able to asily get to mid Kent from where you live, so SE London, Essex, Surrey or Kent itself. I would have amended my profile to reflect this but as that then means my profile disappears for up to a week I've been compelled to add it here. Goddess Abyssia

Now that we have journals back, it's time for an update. This is now a poly household. We're set up with both a dungeon and a medical playroom.  The dungeon is amazingly well stocked with just about every sort of cane, flogger and whip you can imagine, and some things you probably haven't.  Anyone who's interested in play time or dungeon time should feel free to ask. If you're interested in more than just playtime, there are some things you should understand:  This is a KINKY HOUSEHOLD.  It is NOT kid friendly.  If you have kids, and have custody of them, we can talk and even arrange some playtime, but we're probably not going to be a good match.  This is a POLY HOUSEHOLD.  In order to make this dynamic work, everyone involved needs to be willing to compromise and work as a team.  This is a balance that takes work to maintain, and is incomptable with drama.  We're only interested in women who are willing to try to contribute to the dynamic and thereby add to the household.  Chaos is not welcome here.    If you are under 25, we don't expect you to have your life together, but we do expect you to be sane and healthy.  Freaky is encouraged, but have a grip of reality - you've got to start with reality before you plunge down the rabbit hole.  If you are over 35, still living at home and unable to take care of yourself, or still going out to bars and clubs every night you can to get blitzed and hook up, you need to grow up before contacting us.  I am willing to travel to meet, but if you're outside PA, you're going to need to do a video call.  We travel by private plane on the east coast of the US.  If this excites you great, I'd love to have another pilot in the household.  If this terrifies you, we're out of your league.  I'm sure there will be more coming, but this is a good start. 

 I am at a point in my life where I have no interest in games. I’m searching for something real, something that can grow and prosper into a long-term, real-life Female-Led Relationship (FLR). I’m not looking for online fantasies or time-wasters. I am looking for a man whose passion for submission and surrender matches my passion for Dominance and control. I am a beautiful, bossy woman — confident, and unashamedly powerful. I know what I want, and I expect a man who knows how to follow direction and take pleasure in service. A man who can worship a woman’s power, not just admire it from afar. Fitness, discipline, and intellect are important to me. I keep myself in shape and expect a man who values his health as much as I do. I enjoy travel, fine dining, exploring cultures, and curating experiences that delight all the senses. I live a life of freedom and choice, and I am willing to share that with the right submissive man who earns his place by my side (and at my feet). The man I’m looking for should be respectful, self-aware, and able to balance strength with surrender. Emotional support, companionship, and intelligent conversation are just as valuable to me as physical service. You should be well-mannered, attentive, and serious about building something real. My tastes in kink are wide-ranging — Bondage, CFNM, tease and denial, chastity, worship, CBT, strap-on play, humiliation, and more — but my greatest pleasure comes from a submissive man who focuses on my enjoyment first and finds fulfillment in pleasing me. If you’re truly serious,  and understand the difference between fantasy and reality, then send me a message. Be prepared to introduce yourself properly and explain how you intend to serve and grow under my direction. Only quality men who crave a real FLR need apply.

I found the start of this made a few changes... A partial list of subby duties we are looking for... - Able to laugh, giggle, roll eyes, face palm or any combination thereof to my horrible jokes and bad puns.- Have a personality and brain of her own and able to give an opinion, respectfully of course.- Help in my efforts and quest for world domination.- Be an appreciated, non-imaginary friend who just enjoys being around.- Have quirks and perhaps a bit of crazy in the right doses.- Puts up with snuggles while watching a movie-or any time.- Suck, but not in a bad way.- Put up with being protected and adored.- Be sweet and innocent but oh so dirty.- Can handle being used for sexual teasing and Sensual Domination.- Who cries sometimes when she’s happy- Is willing to do a strip tease to the song “Itsy Bitsy Spider” while doing all the motions.- Who appreciates that sometimes Master just needs physical release and you are there for that.- Suffer through a nice candle light meal full of conversation.- Enjoy new adventures.- Who celebrates Master’s enjoyment whether she is the source or not  - Understand, put up with and even enjoy a bit of sarcasm.- Will be slightly embarrassed when I open the door for her.- Enjoys getting dressed up, and dressed down for her Dom.- Can enjoy breakfast for dinner.- Able to stand having her neck kissed for no other reason then it was within reach. Oh there will be lots of service, duties, kinks and sex too, but We wanted to mention the really important things first. So if you still have an interest, send a message -- we'd enjoy talking to you.

Hey the journal function is finally fixed!! Time to write a story about one of my (our) experiences: I shut the car door and wave goodbye to my husband, P. He blows me a kiss and pulls away. I wait until he's turned the corner and out of sight until I begin to walk up my master's driveway. It's a short walk, the house set back from the street but my path leads me into the open garage. Once past the threshold, I press the button to shut the garage door behind me. As it trundles on its tracks, I grab my sweater and pull it over my head in one quick motion. I won't need it again this weekend. My shoes, jeans, panties and socks all follow. I savor taking them off and folding them neatly, making the moment last. My backside is still sore from the punishment I received one week earlier. It had been a maid week and I had done an inadequate job with the chores. My master did not let it slide and he wanted to make sure I remember. As I stroked my bruised cheeks, I hoped it would be a kitten week. Something nice and easy, where I could be cherished and all I needed to think about was pleasure. The crate is open and I place my clothes inside. My cell phone follows along with my keys. With a sigh, I shut the crate and padlock it. Master will come and take my phone in due time, better to document my weekend for P's enjoyment and my potential humiliation. But the clothes are gone. Feeling the chill of the garage on my feet, I enter "the servant's entrance" as we jokingly call it.  Three boxes await me in the foyer. Oh shit. This is different. Usually I have no choice in how I spend the weekend. It's always one box, with either the maid's costume, the cat ears, or ... the other. But with three gift wrapped boxes in front of me, it's up to fate.  I can't open one box and change my mind. Not that disobeying master is ever an option. Whichever one I open is my weekend of service.  Can I weigh them? As I reach for the first box, I see a string attached. Nope, he'll know. I have to pick. Eenie. Meanie. Miney. "Ahem." A cleared throat from the other room. I'm in trouble already.  I make my decision and tear the wrapping paper off. Inside the box is ... Nothing. The slut this weekend, then. I walk into the living room, my hands folded in front of me, my eyes down. Master is sitting in his chair, drinking whiskey and reading. There's a pillow in front of him, directly between his feet. Keeping my eyes down, I kneel. He makes me wait, finishing this week's New Yorker. Occasionally my eyes flick up as I weigh my options. I could reach up and begin undoing his belt - the stretch of fabric in his lap tells me he's interested and excited for my weekly visit. I went for a wax earlier in the week and made sure to put my perfume on my skin so he could smell me no matter what I wore. And in my role as the slut, that would be in line with expectations. But I'm so conditioned to serve at command that I stay frozen.  He shakes his glass and I spring up to take it from his hand. I walk to the bar and as I reach for the whiskey, he says "The drawer." I open the top drawer. Inside is my collar, simple and black, a pair of silver handcuffs, and a red ballgag.  "Shall I--?" I start to ask. "Don't ask questions you should know the answer to," he says with disinterest.  OK then. I put the glass down and pick up the gag. I push it between my teeth and secure the belt behind my head. Next, the handcuffs. Does he want them in front or behind? I wish I could ask. The maid gets handcuffed in the front, so she can work. The slut, behind, so she has no control. So I slip the cuffs on behind my back, hearing the satisfied clink. But in my haste, I forgot the collar! It takes me several tries, standing on my tippy toes, mmphing with effort, to pick the collar up with my cuffed hands behind me. I trot to master happily. He finally looks at me. "My drink?" He asks. Damn it. What to do? I blink at him, fluttering my eyelashes. Push one foot in front of me and circle it back and forth on his loafer. Don't blame, I don't know any better? He takes the collar from me and cls it around my neck. Seizing my throat suddenly, he pulls me in close. "A slut does not mean you're stupid," he whispers in my ear.  One of our agreements when I first began serving him is that he'd never call me a bitch. A slut is something a person chooses to be. It's a sigh of power, both mine and his. I feel my body warm at his words and I lean down to rub my gagged mouth against his neck. He indulges me for a moment and then grabs a fistful of my hair. It's been a little while but I remember how slut weekends go. I'll be confined to the bedroom, chained to the bed most of the time. He'll film my submission and send it back to P. There's an entire box of toys for me to (mostly) enjoy, though the word "no" is gone from my vocabulary until Sunday night. My rest will be dependent on how often master wants me and how he wants me.  It will be a long, fun weekend.

How to have limit if you didnt find your own limit(retoric question)   I take myself for an exemple. Im actually a variated person, wich have too much kinks i did, want to do, want to experiment. But my biggest problem is on my speciality, Sadism! I never find the bottom, i can fall soo much, the the hole is too much profund... Then how i can know, how far i would go ? Simple. I adapt myself to the limit of the other. And if she/he didnt discovered it, i just gradually descent. Actually people i knew have short hard limit, its easy to adapt. Some time im a little scared about one day i find someone like me, because, im difficultly shocked about things. Then the only limit i will put is law and security limit, no amputating or things i cant control, if for me i can put my partner to a state of death i will not doing this. I cant control the blood loss, im not doing this. Permanent loss of important part of body, its depend but most part i will not doing this. Im not a chirurgical doctor, i dont have the skill and surely mess up all. Resulting to a critical state of no return. A limit is here to prevent all of this.   If the other dont have limit, your duty is to create one youself to prevent critical situation. 

While I've got an idea or two, anyone care to suggest the meaning of " G-spot Service" in preferences? First I read a Journal by a (sub,iirc)woman expressing her frustration that CollarSpace literally removed two of her old prefs (one preferrence, one anti-pref) and replaced them with two new phrases, one of which was G-spot...(can't recall the other). Now randomly found a profile listing it in dislikes. My own theory ;) is that: "G-spot service" refers to Machine Learning, or an AI, which finds a spare Spot at the parking *Garage*, finds that Garage-spot for you automatically, and automatically parks your car.   Thus those who think it has to do with the female anatomy, and that P-Spot service for the male prostate is the analog, are WRONG..."P-Spot service" means the same thing, only phrased differently: The AI finds you a "P" or "Parking" spot. If you haven't figured out this is very dry humor, yes, I *am* kidding!      On a serious note though -- surely vanilla wives, neither submissive nor dominant, massage their male partner's prostate sometimes, so surely G-spot "service" should be BDSM-neutral too. Heck just plain old fashioned cunnilingus can be used by a male Dom on a female sub (while rare, I've even seen a couple Domme profiles on how she uses blowjobs to control/make male sub beg etc) but is some more narrow view intending "G spot service" in people's prefs to mean only subs to Dommes? The term "service" would appear to suggest that. Needless to say, CS just changing words on all profiles is not nice. That's after a while ago, changing all "bi" to "pan" (I've heard of the term but still found it funny seeing it overnight be so so common; I don't even drink, but ended up laughing pretty hard, imaging it means, "I'm into drinking Pan galactic gargle blaster drinks" -- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference, btw) In CS's defense, they might be short on funds/hours, and it's true that software change can be hard, if one wants to add an option, instead of renaming an existing one. Still, I hope they are more careful in the future. Heck even give us a Poll and if you're worries we'll go all Torches and Pitchforks on you, CS, make it so we can't see the results but you'll at least get the "pulse" of CS users on which ways to tweak software we're for/against/neutral. OTOH, most of the universe is cold, cold, empty space and with current technology, can't support human life, so we're still pretty lucky to be alive on this small but beautifully inhabitable planet.. Let's try not to F it up, or at least let's slow down how rapidly we F it up though, ok?

We are now in the land of 2022  And even now after all of these years, at least on Collarme, whoops I meant to write Collarspace the thing that pisses people off the most is not what one would expect.  I think we all had our share of quote, unquote BOT PROFILES or that one LMAO several fake Doms, Dommes, or anyone for that matter The punctuation and grammar grid is irritating as hell at times.  But of all of these and some, I have not pointed out.   The biggest ASSHAT of them all is trying to keep your profile CURRENT with new information, likes or dislikes, and even updated photos.   I dare any to disagree with me, especially reading some profiles lately how some have been locked out of their accounts still PENDING approval, LIKE WTF is really going on??? One of the main reasons even as a DaddyDom I am afraid to update my account, this is supposed to be a joke but I am serious as an old man busting a nut, a heart attack!!! But I digress...

A recent message asked me to name "one experience thats shaped your journey in the BDSM world", and I thougt of this poem. It is about a scene I monitored in the early summer of 1999. The title is the name of the wonderful, beautiful woman, a friend, mentor, and so much more, to so many people over the years, and the sub in the scene. I miss you, "Mom".  Allena Beautiful golden hillside Lush with fine, silken grasses Trembling as he works his Mastery With every crack like thunder, Another crimson dewdrop appears; Meeting one another, dancing into rivulets, Until her hills and valleys run with ruby wine. Over and over, agony meets ecstacy; Mingling tears with sighs As she shudders with pleasure and pain. I shudder too, as I watch. Start at every strike; Feel each blow as it lands. I imagine I am there beside her; And for a precious moment...We are one. ©Khaos WolfKat 2001  

So I'm at the gym today  I witness this tall white male with an extremely fit body in these light blue tights with a tiny tiny bulge it was giving squirrel nuts. Now that's not the issue! I watch him go and put all the weights he could find on to the leg press thingamajiig, and I mean it was filled to the rim (no pun intended) He lays flat on his back and lift the weights with his legs. Now here is where things got interesting. He just lifted the weight (that was obviously to heavy) one time and strained for at least 10 minutes. I mean not one single rep done. Veins popped out of his forehead and sweating like a hydrated crackhead. I asked my friend should I go ask him if he would like to come to my BDSM party because he must just enjoy pain 

So, I got a message today because someone was offended by my responce to their message to me...  They felt my profile was too long to bother reading and wanted me to cut to the chase... was I still married.  The opening of my profile explaines that I am a WIDOW!  So, yes, the message ticked me off a bit and they got the full brunt of my anger.  Instead of going back and looking to see why I had called them an idiot, to see what they had missed that made them look so stupid and foolish, they wrote me again, trying to insult me this time, making themselves look dumber still!  Like guys, seriously, it is a special kind of stupid that writes someone who opens their profile saying they are a widow, and asks if they are still married.  Try, just try to send messages that don't totally insult someone if you are attempting to start a relationship that requires massive amounts of trust!  Just spend a minute and read the stupid profile people!

I've recently had the chance to think about TPE more, and I decided that there are ultimately four types, three of which I consider acceptable. In order of intensity, there is first the type, which is simply pushing past where a sub/slave would normall safeword, but not pushing so far that the subconcious is actually forced to acknowledge that they are not in control. This is a stage where a slave is usually begging or angry. The second is the type that I practice currently. Pushing past where people think their limit is, past the second limit where their subconscious gives and realizes that it can only endure, but not going past the last one. The one that makes the mind retreat and can cause trauma. I just brush up against it. The third is when someone deliberately breaks through that last barrier, repeatedly doing so in order to shape the slave into what they desire, using that shaping to subsume other desires and wants, to change who they are at the core level. This is acceptable when a Master has the time, will, and facilities to manage fully breaking a slave, and a slave has agreed beforehand. The last is just the territory of psychopaths, just breaking for the sake of breaking, to do as much damage as possible, and only for their own amusement.

As an enticement Here are two decsriptions that I is did actually did perform and enjoy. That are not requirements, but a reflection of creativity and strength and fun. Perhaps these may motivate your interest   Tale 1 Years ago I was working professionally as a Dominant. My clientele typically were well off, all female, and seeking release from their careers. One in particular was seeking to be very much brought down in a submissive manner so that she could see herself and decide if that submission needed to be part of her life. One weekend, and yes, it was a stormy winter night, I went to her palatial home as arranged. The mood was to be very dark and I was to be dominant and very unyielding. She had only one way out of any situation, that was to ring a bell tied around her hand. That said, she was prepared for depths of dominance...... upon arrival, she was awaiting as instructed. Leather slave harness, well heeled thigh boots and kneeling in the entry way. I asked her if she was prepared and ready... she said yes. I placed my bag down, ball gagged her from behind, and clamped her nipples. She had a fine body and was already aroused. I place a posture collar on her and leashed her and made her follow me to her special room. Over the course of our encounters she had setup her own dungeon in her own place. There I stood her facing me and bound her limbs to the cross tightly. I then roped her to the cross at various points of her body so that her weight could be taken. For the next 2 hrs about, if flogged her, vibed her, made her orgasam at my will, and did what I wanted with her until she collapsed in her bondage. She knew this was the goal. After 2 hrs She was exhausted and emotional.... still though, she was defiant in verbiage to me as I worked with, but I always at all times called her how on her defiance and punished her for it. Seeking to drive her to submission forcibly was the mutual desired goal. In the end she did yield, where upon I released her and made her kneel properly holding by her hair roughly to the position. I removed the gag, and place a tight pvc hood upon her and regagged her with an in mouth penis gag. I then took her to a floor stock where she was bound and restricted at the arms, body, neck. I then plugged her ass with a plug and then placed a lubed fucking machine dildo in her and switched it on..... I told her she had to endure 2 hrs of forced fucking by an unyielding mechanical device or until she admitted she was a worthless cunt that was good only for fucking. This was a trigger phrase for her that she knew if she said it would allow her to descend mentally to the state she wanted to discover...... I sat in a chair and enjoyed controlling the unrelenting machine using her...... Interesting enough she lasted only one hour where upon sweating, and having orgasamed 5 times she begged for mercy and said her phrase and rang the bell in a believable manner. I release her and sat back in the chair an watched. She crawled to me..... rubbing her face against my boots, but pointed to her gag to be removed..... I did, and she at her own initiative said she was now truly a fucktoy, and cumslut slave craving only the release in submission she so desperately wanted..... I permitted her to orally pleasure me to seal the deal in her mind.

Janitor of lunacyIdentify my destinyRevive the living dreamForgive their begging scream I was told last night by a coworker that I remind them of Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind... That was the best compliment ever... Clementine was so misunderstood.

Having spoken to you for a few weeks now, we understand each other. Our face to face meeting is at hand. I know what motivates your need to serve and please your man. In the vanilla world, you have confidence - or at least a veneer of confidence you maintain - but internally you feel yourself unsure, uncertain and that sometimes you just want to run away. I pick you up, dust you down with warm encouraging words, embracing you as you feel the strength of me and know I give you care and comfort. I know you. I know your thoughts, I know your experiences and I know what you need from me. I know your hard limits and the agreed safe signals.  We share a strong connection already. We have an emotional bond and an excitement between us as we plan to become a unity, planning our homelife and talking about our values of partnership and family together. I value your intelligence, your feminine elegance and your utter submission to me, only me. Your devotion, loyalty and eagerness to please whilst still maintaining your vanilla pride and confidence - I respect that and appreciate those qualities. You enjoy the guidance I give you, my mentoring, the boundaries that I give you and my affection.  Soon, you will arrive. We have discussed this many times. We know what to expect of each other, and yet, there is still that excitement. I hear footsteps approach my front door ... 

Today I had a meet and greet with a man who was:   local within my preferred age range available for a publicly acknowledged relationship interested in some of the same significant kinks that I am cuter than his photos   The conversation flowed well. This seems promising.

For a site supposedly so mindful of bigotry and/or transphobia (to the point that profiles languish in Purgatory to be "approved" for things as simple as updating your age), it really annoys me that in the "Seeking" section of your profile, "Switch Transgender" is not an option. And it's never been an option.  Apparently it's impossible to be a switch if you're trans.  Or, perhaps it's impossible to be trans if you're a switch.  How frustrating.  Paying lip service to these rather important concepts without even doing something as simple as acknowledging people who are switches, but who may not be cis, feels obnoxious, possibly like it's not much more than mere virtue signaling.  Good luck if someone is NB.  No, we certainly don't need more sites overrun with transphobia, but as such, yes, we do need to actually fully embrace all the options that are available to cis people being available to trans people on a site with so few options, anyway.  And maybe even work on updating that for NB people, too.  I'd love for the energy that's put into profile approval (especially when you're just updating things in provided dropdown menus, anyway) to be put into those basic updates in 2022 instead.  I know CS, as a whole, updates slowly (if at all), but that would still be lovely for a site that claims to be mindful of bigotry.  Sometimes bigotry isn't just what you say, sometimes it's also what you don't say.

Be local!oh for fuck's sake people.  If you tell me you are interested, that you are LOCAL, and I agree to meet and tell it to  you to arrange it.....friggin' arrange a meeting. It's not rocket science.   Do it in a TIMELY manner. I am not waiting any longer than a week to see you face to face.  Delay tells me you are in this for the fantasy only and I am not here to cater to your little wank fantasies. Don't waste my time. So get off the gawddamn pot and decide when and where.geezus

I saw this on another journal and resonated strongly. I would love to simply repost, but copying it here is the best I can do.   Dominance isnt about sex.A Ds relationship isnt about bondage and toys.TPE isnt about keeping a sex slave.Dominance is being there for her.Dominance is working through her meltdowns.Dominance is accepting her, especially when she wont accept herself.Dominance is being asked for the millionth time if you love her.Dominance is tucking her in at night.Dominance is telling her no.Dominance is quieting her demons.Dominance is being her bastion of strength.Dominance is shrugging off her anger and frustration when you do things for her own good.Dominance is encouraging her.Dominance is comforting her in the middle of the night when shes had a nightmare.Dominance is guiding her.Dominance is building her.Dominance is love.On the flip side, submission is so much more than getting spanked and having orgasms.Submission is about being there for him.Submission is about being that consistent person for him.Submission is building him up and letting him know hes loved and valued.Submission is about listening when you want to speak.Submission is about running to the pharmacist when he is under the weather.Submission is helping him get ready for work when he is running late.Submission is letting him lead, even when its hardest.Submission is being his cheerleader.Submission is honest, open communication because thats what he deserves.Submission is having his back.Submission is being the hand that reaches for his in the middle of the night.Submission is so much more than sex and submitting can come in the smallest, simplest ways. This is not performance  but rather essence.

Okay let's try this again.  Kicked off the month with the headlight. Not long after that I am pulling into a space at work and a wheel well cover thing falls off of my car. I've been driving around without it, no idea how important it is but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough. Follow that up with taking the trash out one night and the bin hitting and cracking the rear tail light of the car. Perfect.  Let's move beyond the car, shall we? I'm hosting all of my parents for Thanksgiving. For the week, really. I plan out a full menu, hit several stores for every ingredient. Buy a giant turkey so I can make things like turkey soup and turkey pot pie afterwards. Two days before T Day one parent gets covid. The next day another parent gets covid. They aren't coming. I'm down to one parent showing up and roughly four bajillion dollars worth of food. Sigh. But okay, their covid symptoms aren't too horrible and that's what really matters, so let's get back to me. I power through. Fancy Tuesday night dinner. Afterwards I brine the turkey. It's going great, I'm nearly done, just need to add a little more water to top it off. I turn to the sink to finish. And that's when the brine bag tipped over and a river of salty herbal apple cider rushed over and into every nearby surface. At 10:00 at night. There's a lake on the stove. I don't mean a splash of liquid, there's depth to it. A tsunami flowed over the stove, between the stove and counter, all over the counter, into drawers, down into cabinets, and onto the kitchen mats and the floor. Did I mention it's 10:00? Right. Thankfully the entire bag didn't tilt so I refill and hope for the best so I can start kitchen recovery. An hour and an entire roll of paper towels later, I have emptied full drawers into the sink, pulled the stove out to sop up brine and all the herbs down the sides of the stove and counter, washed the floor. And all I can do is laugh, because November is kicking my ass.  But wait, there's more. My dad is in charge of the pie. He brought some ingredients, can't find them, asks me to look through his things. Sure, I can do that. Unzip compartments to take a peek. What am I looking at? It doesn't fully register and I nearly put  my hand in to pull it out. Then it hits me. These are sex toys. Big fucking EW. Why would he not remember that there are things in a bag his daughter probably doesn't want to see? November is trying to kill me.  I met a man. He was interesting and I liked him more than I planned to. Besides being a nice person, we seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things, and that's rare for me. And then he disappeared. Then reappeared. Then disappeared again. I'm chalking it up to bad timing. Oddly enough, the most recent ex is sniffing around. A lot. I have no idea what to do with that.  If CS had not been hungry and eaten the original version, you would have also read about the work thing, the arguments with my dad, and my traitor dog. And there would have been comedy sprinkled throughout. But I'm tired. So this is a poor second attempt to document why November is the absolute worst and there are still several days left. I give up. November wins. 

I could Not update my profile without risking a long approval period, so I am updating here! my age is 47, not sure why that never updates. I am Heterosexual not pan sexual (not sure how that got changed). I am worth the time and effort, a one of a kind woman, who is not soon forgotten.  Looking for a male Dom in my area for real time. I am a sub, I will NOT send you dirty pics. Please be single and available, please be real, please be honest, please have your life together, as I do.  I am again looking for real time, would prefer a HOH type arrangement or relationship. Please be ready to verify who You are and meet within a reasonable timeframe! I am a loyal sub, I am kind and understanding, and mostly obedient ;).  I do not play games and expect you wouldn't want to either.  I like to travel, read, go to the beach, and write. I can hold a conversation. I hope you can as well!  I am passionate about this lifestyle and see it as a way of life, not a bedroom game.  thank you for looking at my profile! 

First I'd like to say thank you to everyonw who has messaged me offering support and sympathies over my recent health decline, it's been very helpful to feel the support and encouragement! I have an appointment in a few days with cardio, so hoping for better results when I go in then ...  on the other hand, the shop is going well we have 24 listings on ebay currently and we're excited to keep adding to those listings I do have to say, I hate having this heat failure, I hate days like today when I am so congested and have no energy, I hate when I feel weak, but it makes me appreciate the good days so much more! Take nothing for granted and enjoy life with good vibes!!!!

I read over my profile, again, today, as I have many times since I created it anew. I've tried very hard over the years to make my profile on FL be realistic, vulnerable, intelligent, reflective of who and what I am at my core, and just as importantly, to have it reflect what I want to have in my life.  To let it give someone who doesn't know me, either well or even at all, a solid idea of myself, my body, my mind, my soul.  The more I looked over it these last few months, the more I often changed it, inserting more intellectual references and suave self assured witticisms, but still I saw what it lacked.  The more I saw and felt the only true and right and beloved deion it could and should contain was...love.  The joy of caring, the elation of sexual union, deep and abiding compassion, the sensual act of touch, the smell and taste and sounds of affection, the respect of intimate and unflagging positive human regard, the vision of altruism, the singular romance of knowing you are and you can and you do and you need and you give that one precious wonderful thing that we all need in our lives; love.  It often seems to me in our kinky little corner of the universe there isn't much talk  of that kind of love in profiles anymore, even though it also can take many shapes and forms; love of rope, love of play, love of sexual adventures. I hope we all will list more love and loves in our profiles. It's never too late. I'm not going to change my profile again though, please don't worry.   Let this note stand from this day forward as my more than official confirmation of my own proclamation to need want desire make spread create admire demonstrate dream bring deliver give ask understand and embrace more... LOVE.   

There is a certain refinement to restraint. I practice it daily. One learns, with time, that composure is far more unsettling than complaint. I am, by inclination, a devoted soul—selectively so. Devotion is not the frantic offering of attention; it is a measured gift, bestowed where presence, consistency, and intention actually reside. Anything less feels dreadfully untidy. I have spent enough years in these spaces to recognize patterns without needing a diagram. Experience has sharpened my eye and dulled my patience for theatrical ambiguity. One doesn’t hunt red flags anymore—they appear on their own, waving politely, hoping to be mistaken for décor. I am not troubled by silence. Silence can be deliberate, even powerful. What does amuse me—quietly, of course—is absence paired with conspicuous visibility elsewhere. One can only be “otherwise occupied” for so long before the choreography gives itself away. Multitasking is admirable, but clarity remains preferable. A submissive observes. She does not rush. She does not plead for coherence. She notes, she assesses, and—when necessary—she withdraws her attention with impeccable manners. Confusion is not mystique. It is merely poor communication wearing a better outfit. If I kneel, it will be with certainty. If I offer devotion, it will be to steadiness, not spectacle. Until then, I remain poised, discerning, and faintly entertained. Devoted, yes. Naïve, no.

Part 2  So we moved to a new bigger house and soon I discovered the brothers that would start me down the path that turned me into what I am today. So the brothers slightly older were loud , bold and of course very dominate. For the first few months things were normal , but soon things took a decidedly darker turn.   Things started with them hazing me at school , and the long walk from the bus stop . On the bus they didn't know me but as soon as we got off at the end of the street they would start , and when the girls that lived next to their house were there they puffed up and would show off , having me carry all the books , and taunt me.. I was just happy for the attention... and I got a lot of it from them, especially when summer vacation came from school . That's when things became intense.  At first it was fantasy role play , but  there was always some excuse to tie me to a tree or tie me and lead me through the forest that was behind our houses . Within a few weeks,  the clothes were off when I was tied, and they would leave to go home and get lunch , but always return with something for me. that I had to eat without hands. Then around the middle of that first summer the boys got a tent and set it up in the woods by the house,  far enough away to be partially hidden , and keep curious parents from dropping in.   The tent is where my training really began. From simple ties.  To elaborate  ties , to whipping with branches , to inserting things in me , the summer flew by and I finally felt I belonged , I felt the brothers cared for me , and wanted me , and I wanted to please , I ed to nothing for fear I would again be alone if I did. I remember feeling it was wrong somehow, but I didn't care , I was wanted, and that was all that matter. As things continued to progress they seemed to take good of their roles and the pain became more intense as the whipping increased in both duration and force . The  s I was to take and hold inside became bigger. One day one brother had me tied over a stool  in the tent and was working a candle in me. After he had covered me with the hot wax  from the same candle. when the other brother came over pulled my hair to raise my head and stuck his crotch in my face I could feel his hard cock under the jeans as he rubbed across my face.. I moaned and bucked forward as the candle went deep , and I was pushed into those jeans ,I could feel the heat , and the dampness from his precum. That was to much I guess and before I knew it his pants were off and his hard cock was pushing against my lips I felt a sharp pain as a paddle came down hard on my ass,  and I opened my mouth to protest and it was immediately filled with a hard  cock.  It made me gag and my eyes tearup , but it felt good and he was holding my head , and telling me to relax and how good it felt , so me being the submissive I am, i relaxed into the feelings and took as much of him as I could . He held my head firm , and began to stroke my mouth Stopping occasionally so I could catch my breath , and he could make sure I was alright. It made me feel good , wanted and in my own way loved.  Upon seeing this the other brother started rubbing his hard cock on my ass and between my  cheeks. He took out the candle and put something cool over my hole and pushed his fingers in and moved them around to spread what he had applied , next I felt something hard and warm push against me and begin to slide in , it was about the size of the candlethat was just removed.  But softer , I felt him slide in until his body was hitting mine. It hurt not bad , but an exciting hurt . It was something crazy, and naughty , but felt so good . All at once  things began to flow ,and each alternated their thrusts so I was being bounced between the two hard cocks inside me I had two hands on my head , and two on my waist pulling me deep in each direction. I felt wonderful despite the pain,  I relaxed and began to not only enjoy it but make it better ,I used my tongue and lips on the hard cock in my mouth , and  I began to contract my muscles to squeeze the cock in my ass . To soon the brother fucking my ass began to come, I didn't want him to pull out so I ground back on his still hardcock , and kept him inside until the other brother came in my mouth. It was hot and tasted strange , both brothers fell back to the floor of the tent laughing , that laugh you have when you just finished a great orgasm . Me I was still bound to the stool  but I was squirming , holding my mouth open wanting more . I had changed during those  last few minutes , and became a sexual animal ,  lost my innocence, virginity and any dominance  that might have remained.  I felt more loved and wanted than I ever had before and I knew I was meant to serve and destined to be a toy for hard cocks , and much later wet pussies, but that's a story for another day .  So the brothers fucking me became a daily thing that summer , and would spend many nights camping out tied in someway usually covered on cum.  When school started things were different , I wasnt hazed,  the brothers treated me like a prized pet , taking care of me protecting me , making me feel I belonged.  Sex became more rare , only ocassionally away from the tent  and maybe on weekends as the brothers began to have other Activities and friends , we had several more summers , but none as intense as that first one when they brought me out . By the last summer with them I was insatiable. I was addicted and they knew it . They begin to have other freinds join our camp outs , and they would always have me pleasure their guests,  one time I time I remember they had several freinds over , I was made to jerk off in a bowl in front of all of them , then suck each one until they came each in turn adding their cum to bowl. Then I was made to lap the cum from the bowl and move on all fours  while they all talked and drank some liquor one of boys took from his home . Soon I was tied , and once again the center of attention as I was fucked, and whipped until everyone fell asleep . This was one of the last times we were together , they had both grown and had girlfriends , so I was not as important , they did have one more surprise for me before we were done . This starts another chapter in my life ... for next time . 

A letter to God   Is it an image that lies Cuz i believe You don't  Yet looking around  And what scenes i see Baffle as drivers Create accidents and We all know accidents  Happen because well, Who is driving, after all  And surrender tastes  Bittersweet yet i have been Beat beyond what time Can tell any for many may Believe it's easy, this life  That now aches inside  My body and beyond mind For what i know to be true Is what a friend shared To simply live, love and do For You, for ultimately  We die and no one cares And most of humanity  Cannot dare heaven On Earth but from birth  We learn to yearn for what Loss brought when fate Raped destiny and man Lost and woman lost And no children were Bred because soon Enough we will be Better off dead...     zamarra  7/13/24  

The change is real on this platform.  Remade an account and scrolled through some profiles.  I feel as though that was a mistake altogether.  I loved the profiles that displayed individuals who could not take care of themselves making demands of various subs.  Those were my favorite.  If you are unwilling to take care of yourself, your health, your diet, your life...allow me to enlighten you please, You Have No Room to Demand Anything of Anyone as a presumed "Dom."  My goodness, I felt like I was going through a Kinder class asking all the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up.  I honestly originally came back on this platform because I remembered years ago reading a post of someone asking for a partner to dance with.  This was obviously not the typical dance though.  This dance was masked dance where the user wished to find a dance partner that would never see their face.  They would never be revealed to the Sub, however they would know literally everything about the Sub.  If and when the Dom was ready to have playtime with the Sub, they would still never even see their face.  Im into masks, not the normal kind.  Im a sapiosexual to a degree.  I value the investment of control.  Im curious.  Honestly, I wish that Dom found someone to dance with, because that honestly sounds like one hell of a dance.  Its fucking hot, dangerous af, but hot. https://www.collarspace.com/personals/v/2923761/details.htm

Once I learned how to "shop for Fem" I became a ShopAholic! Could go every day to look for another new female garment. I even found myself buying 2 and 3 of the same just because the fabric and print turned me on so much.   Wearing these cute fem, girlie girl skirts and dresses and girdles and garter belts and opaque thigh high nylons and pantyhose just drives me crazy  horny! Being so turned on with the pastel colors and cute prints for myself makes me know how I would like to dress another CD Gurl for Sexilicious encounters.

What am I intreseted in?  What am I looking for?  I am open to many situations.  Mostly I would like an online sub to be my babygirl.  Someone who wants to live her normal life and yet needs someone to give her stability and direction.  I would guess a Daddy figure is the most accurate description. All of that being said I understand we all have different views of the perfect relationship. While I search for my "perfect" match, I am willing to learn about what you want, and who knows, it may become what I want. Let's talk and see if we can meet on some common ground.

  Unless you want to clean our house or pay our bills, we don't want you.  (Note: this is called a joke)   Daddy is all i need or want and i don't share, nor does He.     i am on here to communicate with friends i've chatted with since collarme was a thing.  i have no need or want to be bothered by the so called "doms" that throw temper tantrums when i point out i am happily taken.  Just a clue, it's none of your concern why i am on here.  i don't message or bother you, so don't bother me.  If you are not my Daddy you mean nothing and i owe you nothing.

Okay. Okay. I need to get some things off of my chest. Now that I have had some conversations, met a few people, I just want to say that I have standards and I would want my Dom to also be a person of standards. What do I mean by that? I make the effort to always be clean, smelling nice, looking pretty, etc. The bare minimum should be that my Dom takes some care of himself. I like when a man has taken the time to get a haircut,I like it when I can smell cologne on your skin, and after 11 years of trying to change a person, I realized that I indeed changed. We didn't want the same things and I got so tired of trying to convince someone to take care of themselveswhen I'm a fucking mess myself. Like, I need, absolutely crave Daddy but I haven't found him yet. If you're serious about something 24/7 and this is not strictly a kink for you, we might have some things in common. I've noticed some red flags one is that the people I was communicating with, they always want to be called Daddy and like, no. You're not my Dom, I don't know you like that, things take time to develop. Also, if you're weird, Do not bother. For example, I'm not into pantyhose and for one person, that was a deal breaker. Good. Keep that shit away from me. I'm trying to find my perfect match on every level. Also, I don't want your money, I have my own. It might not be a lot but I am not interested in any weird financial stuff. I'm trying to get my shit together in the real world. And all I want is Daddy. I don't think anyone understands how fucking primal that urge has become for me. But please don't come on too strong. Give me time. I'm thinking about a normal conversation here, then on text. Then the phone. Then a video call. You see what I'm doing here? Look if things went well maybe I fly out for a fun weekend. I don't know but I'm open.

This was writen by one of my slaves, so I though I would post it here. Almost everyone wants something for nothing. Bargains Attract. Finding a good value excites almost everyone, so much so that we rush to share the news. Wanting anything for free is perhaps human nature. However, many of us have had to learn the hard way, again and again, that you get what you pay for. But cheap dishes, you’ll be replacing them sooner rather than later. You reap what you sow, this is also true of human interaction as well, and most people sadly, cannot put the two concepts together and compare them. Why do we think that people should respect us before we respect them? Why do we crave privacy and yet are often quick to invade someone else’s? Why do we think that others will be there for us, even if we aren’t available for them? Being part of the group, a house, friends, family, means being the same in return. It’s not an easy thing to do, in fact it’s rather time consuming.  Although the rewards are indisputable, we still find people who tend to hesitate, and wait, letting other people make the first move. First to commit, first to open their arms, first to open their house, first to be honest, first to be forthright, first to take action, speak their mind, and offer homage, first to everything.  Getting the other people to commit first, reduces our own effort, perhaps making it easier, but even with that said you will still receive according to what you give. He who gives little, receives little. He who risks nothing, gains nothing. Being able to see, comprehend, grock and utilize this principle simplifies our lives, not complicates it as so many would have us believe. Once we Master this principle of living, I believe we never forget it. Loving you has made me want to become a better person, I know I don’t often show it, But I do appreciate everything you do, most of all I appreciate the learning lessons. Thank you so much for having the patience to put up with me.

I've been following the discussion about the idea behind sexuality, gender roles, and gender of the Gods as it relates to those who worship the spirit of nature. One thing that need to be clear is that when it comes to the spirit world according to most religious traditions (paganism included) gender is a characteristic of the physical world. Granted that we all conceive the divine according to cultural patterns that shapes our understanding of what and how the Gods relate to this world. One important characteristic comes from the way we choose to relate and express intimacy with each other and by extension to the divine. If we assume that the divine realm is an ever present reality then when we perform any duty or activity they are infused with that numinous quality that elevates everything to the realm of perfection. Having said that, our sexuality which is as they say "an accident of the flesh" attract the Gods as a way of communing and partaking of that that is universal.  I we establish a divine relationship with the God of nature let's then look at nature to guide us in ascertain the true nature of the God. In nature the diverse ways in which sexuality is expressed provides a canvas to see that the God is at times active, at times passive, and at times neither.   Male to male sex is a show of strength on a different power stream. One partner is the guiding energy and  and the other is the guided energy. Both partake of the divine order of things. So that was divided becomes one in the union of both forces mating. Who is then the divine? Both are because the God moves freely from the phallus to the receiving vessel and back uniting what was broken into a divine whole. The idea of Top or Bottom is foreign to divine; love and bliss is its true nature. Unity is the key to that that makes us human, sex and fulfillment. Then the God is neither a Top or a Bottom he becomes what his lover wants him to be at that glorious moment in which orgasm elevates our humanity to the realm of eternity.

Possibly not quite "journal"-worthy material... I own eleventy three nail polishes, but am completely incapable of applying them properly - it's the fingertips too, or nothing I loathe my body; being naked Is. The. Worst. I kinda like being embarrassed though, so it's not all doom and gloom... The only sport I will watch willingly is curling (and I'm extra excited when cats get involved) Not really sure I could kiss anyone who actually likes leeks. Maybe if you brush your teeth first. Maybe. I tend to overestimate the amount of time I have to get shit done. Plus. Procrastination. "Bits" in yoghurt are just plain wrong, as is coffee-served-in-a-glass; ffs, what's wrong with you people? I was seriously squicked by episode 9 of Girls, but I still use q-Tips o.O I am a Pinterest failure I'm the clumsiest person I know and my thumbs are not technology-friendly I get trolley rage. And pedestrian rage. Stop. Gathering. In. Doorways! Your logic has no place anywhere near my outrage. Sorry. I loathe my voice ... and my feet I have "water anxiety" - my water bottle must be nearby at all times. *Or*... I'll get thirsty I guess :/ I'm beyond horrified at the thought of something crawling into my ear (either one, I'm not picky).  I'm terrible at board games, but if I don't win it's because YOU cheated  -_- I get extreme food envy - to the extent I will move towards the back of the queue, so I can copy your order I hate the seams in my socks to be crooked; my toes get creeped out I laugh at the pompous I love being complimented on my outfit and I will tell you how much it cost and where I got it in the next breath I tell most people (who don't run quickly) about my grand plan for egg scrunching - minus the cleanup I am "happy" to wait out the last bit of moisturiser in the bottle - time and gravity will defeat you in the end you slimy fucker I adore designing psychometric tools that are both ethically and empirically questionable… Let me classify YOU! (just pm me and I'll pass judgement) I cannot cut in a straight line - as a result my wrapping paper to present ratio is seriously fucked

I am English by birth, I just currently live and work here. WInters are hard and long and endlessly dark, summers are beautiful and short and endlessly bright. This is a place of extremes, where there is very little grey between the darkness and the light, much like myself. I do not plan on staying here, and when I do move on it would be nice to have company, here or, ideally, in the world. I am on Signal only. I am spiritual, born out of my time, believe shame and guilt are hurdles to be pushed past and overcome, and I behave as the situation requires. I enjoy predicament bondage, corporal punishment, and distinguish between training, discipline and punishment. My skills include, but are not limited to, orgasm control, use of canes, balancing pain and pleasure, finding things most consider difficult to find, pushing limits and boundaries, mental domination and having an extremely open mind. I am not a stranger to Gor, at all levels of commitment to its tenets. Come and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will add another name to your block list. I am an acquired taste. How about you?

What I truly seek....I seek 24/7 submission on a psychological level and physical submission at my Mistresses whim.  I do understand that is something that is built gradually over time in a relationship, once trust has been established. I’m drawn primarily to a loving and nurturing style of Domination. I enjoy pleasing and making my partners life easier.   I am not a masochist… I don’t seek pain for the sake of pain alone, but I do understand its value toward discipline and training. Otherwise I will trust that my well being will always be a priority.   I am very sensual and enjoy many kinds of play. I also understand that play is NOT the foundation of a strong D/s relationship. That comes through the strength of the power exchange that both people desire.  I admit I tend to be very private. I do not engage in groups or public play, and I prefer a completely vanilla exterior. I’m not into being cucked or treated like a slave. Nor do I seek to be a part of a stable of subs. My submission, attentions and adoration should be considered of value to the one I serve. I am after all, a man who is truly a pleaser.... someone who derives much of his own fulfillment from pleasing his Domme, and from giving over control to her. I am not interested in being some kind of mindless slave kept in a cage… but rather someone who is a person in his own right. I do have a quick mind and a sense of humor, and I don’t want to be afraid to use them at the appropriate times. I am looking for someone who will help me flourish under Her guidance and help me become the best version of me.   I would hope to become a best friend, a lover, a houseboy, Her personal servant, Her sensual slave and more.   Ideally, I would like to be with someone who is nearer to my age, intelligent, independent and knows what she wants from a D/s relationship. I am not looking for casual interactions, or for mere play sessions, but rather for my lifemate, with whom I hope to explore the ins and outs of Ds as well as the vanilla world for the rest of our lives... If most of this resonates then by all means reach out to me and let’s have a dialogue.   

FINALLY A NEW STORY !!! May 31, 2025 - Football player takes a load then wants to have two orgasms! Sorry I have not written a story in quite some time, but this winter has been rough on me. I think I went through a dark place for a while but I'm feeling much better now that the weather is warming. Thursday was my birthday and Friday I got a message from football player saying he wanted to come over. For quite some time we've been trying to get him to orgasm twice during one visit. Well, we tried again today. When he first arrived, I was already in my birthday suit, completely naked relaxing in my easy chair with a hard-on. He came through the door and immediately began to strip his clothes off as always. He looked over at me in the chair and mumbled, "I've really needed this for a while." He started sucking on my cock. It was fantastic. As usual, as I looked down at his broad shoulders, the shoulders of a football player, it only made my cock get harder. He would alternate taking his time on my cock, deep throating it, and sometimes devouring it like a starving person at his first meal in weeks. I don't like to orgasm this quickly, I like to go to the basement, play for a while and finally drop a load in his ass. But after about 10 minutes of such a wonderful blowjob, even with his mouth full, I heard him say... "I've needed to swallow your load for the longest time." That was enough to put me over the edge. I tried to hold back a bit longer, but thinking how much he wanted my creamy, salty, sweet cum in his mouth was too much for me. I figured, why not? Maybe today is the day I will have two orgasms. I put my hands on his wide shoulders and felt myself getting closer and closer to the edge. As he deep-throated me once, and I felt my cock getting lodged in the back of his throat, it was too exciting. I started making the grunting noises so that he knew I was about to fill his mouth. He pulled off my cock almost completely leaving just ahead in his mouth. He wanted to taste everything. And I did not disappoint. I let him have a huge load. I felt ribbon after ribbon of cum squirt into his mouth. He swallowed, and kept sucking. He was definitely attempting to drain me completely dry. My cock was still hard so I just let him keep sucking for a while until he had every last drop out. Then I said, let's head downstairs and take care of you now. We went downstairs and he hopped into the sling. I put his ankles in the stirrups. There was no need to tell him to scoot down in the sling so I could access his hole more easily, he's done this enough times that he was perfectly positioned. His cock was still hard, and his ass puckered for me. I put a pair of rubber gloves on and started to lube up his hole.  TO READ THE ENTIRE STORY VISIT  https://www.sirkel.top/?collarspace

A typical day requires service at almost all times. I am served tea in bed as we begin our day, and meals are all prepped and planned. You wake first, fetch me my tea, a few digestive biscuits, and the paper, and then join me in bed to read me an article of my choosing while I sip. Some days when it is warmer, we take this outside, but most days it is in the comfort of bed while we are nude.   After this, we both have breakfast together. Usually you will cook, but some days I will announce that i feel like it and cook. These are healthy meals that focus on protein and good fats.   Then, we both work from home. I enjoy my work at a non-profit, taking breaks to to be with each other (lunch, walks, or you kneeling in prostration/worship as needed, etc). In the evening, we order in, cook, or go out. These all have rituals associated with them that are meticulously refined for both our benefit - what we eat, how we look, and what happens are important metrics of keeping you thoughtless and spotless. You represent me, and I will NOT be embarrassed.   We play board games,read, or watch a program as the evening draws to a close. Then we head to bed, where I do my beauty routine and have you serve me as part of it. This means providing hot water, ice, and towels as needed.   We head to bed, with me getting in bed first and you being caged, kneeling, or joining me if I decide to use you for my pleasure. I do like to be warm and to cuddle, so some nights I require just that and you serve me admirably.

I am well aware of the nature of this site. A place where individuals indulge in their wildest desires and fetishes. However, I cannot help but ponder on the intricacies of my own desires. I do not find superficial compliments or shallow attempts at flattery to be of any interest to me. I am not impressed by those who claim to have read my profile, only to immediately express their desire to engage in carnal acts with me. It is possible that I have come to the wrong place to satisfy my true desires. What truly ignites my passions is the ability to engage in a meaningful conversation with someone. Discussions that range from the trivial to the serious, the playful to the flirtatious, and even the melancholy. The back and forth banter that flows effortlessly, covering a wide range of topics, from our personal relationships to the state of the world. And, of course, the subtle glances and touches that make us lose all coherent thought. Is such a connection still possible in this digital age? I often find myself questioning if I am living in a fantasy world. But, then again, the mere thought of it ignites a fire within me. Perhaps, someday, I will find it once more.

There are parts of a person that don’t begin at the moment two people meet. They begin long before, in the quiet places where experience shapes us and then gets sealed away. Long before I met her, I had lived through something that awakened a deep part of me — a capacity for intensity, recognition, and emotional clarity that rarely finds a home. And she had lived through her own version of that. For different reasons, both of us buried that part of ourselves. She buried hers out of fear - fear of instability, fear of loss, fear of needing someone, fear of being seen too clearly. I buried mine out of discipline - a deliberate containment, a way of protecting others from the full force of what I feel and protecting myself from offering it where it cannot be held. Different histories, different wounds, same instinct: suppress what once burned too brightly When we met, that buried part in both of us stirred. Not because we created something new, but because we recognised something familiar. The connection wasn’t imagined. It wasn’t accidental. It was the reawakening of something each of us had sealed away. In the moments when she felt safe, she softened, revealing warmth, intuition, and depth she rarely allowed to surface. And in response, I became the version of myself that feels most grounded, steady, and alive. I understood the sandcastle she lived in. I saw her protective walls. Not as flaws, but as architecture - structures and anchors that kept her upright when life gave her no stability. I understood why trusting one person felt like stepping into open air. I understood why she stayed in the present, why she avoided looking ahead, why she protected herself even from what she wanted. I saw the logic in it. I saw the cost of it too. It is heartbreaking to see how someone can be hurt so deeply, so repeatedly, that they retreat into a world made of compartments. A world where adult emotional connection feels dangerous, where closeness carries the risk of being wounded again. And so she anchored herself to the one place that felt safe: the innocence of a child who had never betrayed her. The child of the man who had most recently broken her trust became, in a way, the last untouched corner of her emotional world. Maybe she saw a younger version of herself there. Maybe she stayed close to that child because it allowed her to protect something pure in a way no one ever protected her. Whatever the reason, it is unbearably sad that the safest place she could find was one that existed outside the realm of adult connection entirely. I understood how it was easier to feel when it was transactional, triggered by someone else and emotionally outside her control. What I felt for her was not fantasy. It was recognition. I cared for her deeply, and I would have treasured her - not by holding her tightly, but by creating a space where she could breathe without fear, where the sparks I glimpsed in her unguarded moments could grow into something steady. I never wanted to reshape her. I wanted to offer a place where she could rest without bracing for impact. It hurt that she couldn't understand my deep need to care; that she could and did give herself to another physically, to a sadist, when she couldn't accept my care or give herself physically to me. And I never believed it would be easy or instantaneous. I knew that being together would require patience, courage, and the slow dismantling of old defences. I knew it would demand effort from both of us. But the difficulty didn’t deter me - it clarified me. It strengthened my resolve. It deepened my desire to care, not out of saviourhood or fantasy, but because I saw what was possible if she ever chose to step toward it. But the truth is simple: the part of her that woke up when we met is the same part she has spent years learning to silence. Stepping toward what she felt would have required dismantling the very defences that keep her functioning. She retreated not because she felt nothing, but because she felt too much. I stepped toward it because I was ready. That difference is the whole story. So I release this into the ether - not to change her, not to call her back, not to craft something optimised for her reception or softened for her comfort. I have written carefully, yes, but this is not for her. This is for me. This is where I place the truth so I no longer have to carry it alone. We both knew. We both felt it. We both buried it for our own reasons. Meeting each other unlocked it again. She ran from it. I stepped toward it. And now I name it so it no longer lives unspoken. Whatever she chooses, whatever she fears, whatever she cannot yet face, I hold no anger. Only the quiet truth of what was possible, and the peace that comes from finally giving these words a place to live outside my own mind.

BDSM Test Results May 2026 100% Dominant89% Owner88% Degrader81% Sadist77% Rigger63% Daddy/Mommy55% Vanilla54% Brat tamer53% Master/Mistress40% Age Player40% Experimentalist38% Voyeur29% Non-monogamist27% Primal (Hunter)8% Exhibitionist0% Brat

    Public Service Announcement to the “I Want to Serve You, Goddess” Crew: Your Thumbs Are Not Submission  Let me make something crystal clear for the aspiring submissives, servants, and “I’m-ready-to-devote-my-life-to-you” hopefuls who beg for an opportunity to prove themselves who then crash and burn before the engine even starts. If I grant you permission to call me, and your response is to text me, congratulations: you’ve already failed. Let me repeat that slowly for the chronically dense:   Texting. Is. Not. Calling.   You begged to serve. You pleaded for a chance. You wrote paragraphs about how serious you are. I finally say, “Fine. Call me at this time,” and suddenly your phone.. The same phone you’ve been blowing up with 27 back-to-back messages now it mysteriously loses the ability to dial?  Miss me with that nonsense!   Submission Requires Execution, Not Excuses  You don’t impress me with walls of text explaining how loyal and devoted you’ll be. You impress me by following a single instruction without turning it into a personal struggle session.   If you cannot: Press one button to CALL Respect a time window Present yourself with clarity and intention  …then you are not seeking to serve. You’re seeking attention!  I don’t run a charity for grown toddlers!    Submission Is Action. Not Emojis. Not Daydreams. Not Typing Sprees.  You want to text-chat your way to greatness? Go find a Discord Mistress. Or a Telegram Dominant. I deal in real presence, not keyboard fantasies.  And to the ones who send non-stop text threads instead of doing what was asked... You’re not being persistent. You’re being annoying! Uncontrolled desire is not devotion. It’s desperation. And desperation without discipline? Instant disqualification.  The Standard Going Forward  If I say call, you:  1. Confirm.  2. Prepare.  3. Call.  There is no: “But I was nervous.” Nervous dogs still obey commands. “But I didn’t know what to say.” Then ask first, think second, but DO. NOT. TEXT. “But I’m better in writing.” Then you are better off elsewhere! You Want Access? Learn Precision! Servitude is not granted to those who talk the loudest. It is given to those who listen the best. If you can’t execute a basic directive, don’t request a role in my universe. I am not here to mother you, motivate you, or walk you through the concept of a phone call in 2025. Be clear. Be ready. Be real. Or be gone.  

 He whispers in your ear, DON’T MOVE! and walks away,  now what runs through your mind. He returns and gives you another little kiss on the lips. As you’re standing there you feel a feather touching your right ear, it goes under your chin and back up to your left ear. It moves to your nose the down to your chest. The feather gently caresses around your left breast then over to your right breast.  The feather ventures to each nipple circling them several times.  Down towards the belly button it travels circling it several times.  The feather heads to your hip and then down the outside of your leg around your ankle and back up the inside of your leg cross up above your pubic hair carefully making sure not to get it wet.  He takes your hand in his and reminds you to keep your eyes closed. You recognize the way to your bedroom and he places you next to your bed. 

Let’s contemplate the issue of energy when it come to sex among equals. As a rule nature is perceived as male and female, positive and negative, dry and wet, light and dark, cold hot; you get the idea. However if we add to these categories the fact that there are many ways in which these elements can manifest it becomes apparent that in nature these concepts are very fluid. There are many ways in which gender is conceptualize by cultures and more varied indeed is the manner in which gender roles are characterized. When it comes to love among equal genders these categories manifest but from the standpoint of strength which is the value of the male realm. Passive, submissive, or any other adjectives given to the bottom are but description of how the male strength choses to emerge in a male/male relationship; the same way when we use other adjectives to characterize tops. Any word and denomination is constraining and the truth is that there are many ways to be a bottom and many ways to be a top and the fluidity of these energies are always in a state of flux.  As a rule the male strength is always present regardless of the role we play in an intimate relationship. The strength and force of a male grip either using the hand, the mouth the anus, or the phallus is still a manifestation of that universal force that permeates all of us as we engage each other’s energy within the chosen role. That is a point of departure; there can not be a top without a bottom or vice versa. It is as I said before the natural order of things. No one can denny the fact that we are relating our energies in a sexual encounter as a male to male proposition but in a different degree of intensity which makes the encounter fulfilling and meaningful. The organs involved speak to the degree of energy engaged and no one can forget the fact that there is a male exchange of energies which is mutually fulfilling when done right.

What I seek, what I need, is for someone to take me and absolutely crush me...break me down completely, physically, mentally, sexually...push my boundaries. Bend me over, take my ass...fuck me hard. Talk to me, tell me how you're owning me, tell me what you're going to do to me. Call me names. So often I see BDSM porn where the "slave/sub" is completely into the "torture"..."oh yes, more master/mistress! More!" and that is so far off-base from what I seek. I shouldn't want it. Ideally, you've broken me to the point where I'm doing it to avoid worse punishment. "If you don't do _____, then _____ will happen." I should be dreading it...crying, begging, pleading for my master/mistress to stop. Begging a master not to cum in me or in my mouth. Begging a mistress to stop before I bleed. The earth shattering orgasm should belong to THEM, not ME.I get messages on here from so many straight masters...who tell me that they're going to branch out and that they're into what I seek. Then they quietly fade away. And the search goes on.

New year and new beginnings   After becoming active in March, it’s been a slow gradual progress getting back into the scene. I was weary at first due to the past weighing me down and the current situation I was in at the time. Reflecting back to where I was, to where I am now, I've come a long way and ebbing forward in becoming comfortable in my own skin and who I am.   It's been a massive change from no social life to meeting so many Brilliant kinky minded people, I find what was easy for me to interact with people with self-confidence was gone a long time ago, however big thank you to the people that have given me advice and self-belief,(even if I was kicking and screaming) to carry on and not to be discouraged about social situations or setbacks in the things that I do. So, a big thank you to all from me, for helping on my pervy journey.   What do I think back on 2023? Well, my plans and ambition has changed after moving and starting again. From dudgeon hire and Airbnb to just letting things come and go as they will, due to this I've gained so much freedom. Not being tied down finically and mentally that I'm now traveling a lot more than 15 years ago. Finding out and planning to attend old/new munches, clubs, workshops. Planning ahead for meets with people that I met along the way. Working on play Scenes and finally relearning my skills as a practitioner that I thought I lost all so long ago.   You don’t tend to realize, what was taken for granted can be lost or thought lost, I thought so for a long time, still do at times but it's the willingness to draw a line in the sand with yourself, to make a new start in thinking, to carry on consistently in what you're doing and where you're going, that what was lost is just misplaced.   I restarted this journey on my own and now joined with people on their own paths, it can be scary and daunting at times, it can also be exciting and rewarding but there is now one thing constant that I'm thankful for, I'm not on my own on this path anymore and I'm grateful for the close connections people have made with me.   So, taking a step back, what have I achieved? Establishing myself back in NW scene. That was my goal last year, but I've achieved so much more without realizing it. Creating a scene and doming in public display. New techniques in sensory and impact play. I am more proficient with the Violet wand and regaining my self-confidence as a dominant in styles of role play. I've been asked to mentor and accepted; it is a responsibility I take seriously and has helped me retread old ground with my own training from over 20 years ago. And last, somehow (I'm thanking the gods and certain people wile typing this) in the winter after taking up residence at club lash, I'm now Dudgeon Monitoring, I will always feel more comfortable working. It’s helped immensely to quickly orientate myself back as a semi professional in-house dominant and I'm honestly grateful this has happened.   Moving forwards to 2024 I have a firmer grasp of myself and what I am able to do now and what I want to do in the future. There are some projaspects in the works from group activities to self-improvement, some long term other short, but all kink related as I reacquaint myself back more into the lifestyle   My path may have been slow and gradual, but I've come a long way, and can look back knowing I'm on the right path. I still have a long way to go and don’t know if this path will end as new avenues open in 2024, but for now be mindful, live in the present, take stock, give thanks and appreciation in what you have. To stay humble, to stay hungry for the knowledge and opportunities that have been given to you and to always appreciate those meaningful connections that people give you.   2023 thank you   2024 I'm ready... more than i will ever be and I'm looking forward to what comes further down the road

Just Like This ..... Where'd you wanna go? How much you wanna risk? I'm not looking for somebody With some superhuman gifts Some superhero Some fairytale bliss Just something I can turn to Somebody I can kiss I want something just like this...

Punishment is based on creating a fear response of some kind. Fear erodes trust and connection. Trust and connection are essential for the surrender of a submissive. Therefore, punishment erodes what is essential to a healthy, successful Ds dynamic. This makes punishment of any sort incompatible with my relationships.  I am a leader and a carer in my career and daily life.  I do not punish any of my charges, and it insults the dignity of another creature to punish them. I make mistakes, but never intentionally. I have no motivation to brat or test the boundaries a partner may set for me. I hate failure, and I hate displeasing. My motivation is to make a partner proud. That is incentive enough to avoid mistakes. That is, provided I have a partner capable of feeling and expressing pleasure, and who wants to have pride in who serves him. A constructed, unnecessary punishment added on top of knowing I have failed or displeased just creates more pain for everyone, and even has more subtle, insidious impact, such as contributing to feelings of inadequacy. The best way to avoid making a mistake is communication, flowing clearly and in quantity in both directions. The best response to a mistake or misunderstanding is to try to get clarity, then discuss it, find common ground, and discuss how to avoid what went wrong. I believe in accountability and responsibility, and also in practicality. I acknowledge that my position on punishment is perhaps unusual or unexpected. I consider myself well healed from my traumas, none of which I would consider terribly serious to start with. I know myself, and I know my needs. I have no hope of serving anyone if I cannot serve with an open, vulnerable heart. Some submissives apparently require a punishment mechanism, either to set aside their mistakes with a physical reminder or something else to even the scales, or to have some sort of other constructed reminder of which way the power exchange flows. I am not so unfortunate. I can understand these concepts perfectly well through verbal reassurance.

So I've been getting a lot more hate messages from MAGATs of late.  I'm thinking it may be because the midterms are quickly approaching and they know new days will be dawning.  Some say this is not the place to express my political views.  I'd respond that my views are more about not wanting to attract tRumpanzees with no moral compass than being political.  But I'm often blocked after they show their asses which is ok.  I have no interest in convincing them they're ignorant pieces of shit if they still think he's a good president who is doing great things for this wonderful country. It boggles my mind to think there are still people who are supportive of him after its clear he needs to  be in prison or a nursing home. And that they're eager to defend him and vocalize their ignorance.  I'd be glad to have civil and intelligent discourses with them but they don't seem to be able to do that.  So AGAIN I will say PLEASE keep on strolling if you don't like what I have to say. That's the purpose of my rants.  Thank you for your attention to this matter. lol  

Open letter to all the weirdos who keep writing me weird shit:  I often get what probably is canned messages from men here, and it's so disappointing and disillusioning.  Dude. Don't send out a message like this to someone you don't even know! The likelihood of a normal woman liking it and replying to it is infinitesimally small! Quit thinking with your dick!  I, and, again, the vast majority of thoughtful women, would no more reply to show interest in this kind of slobbering trite than they would step off a curb in front of a bus!  Grow up, man! Stop being so desperate! Get a life! Get outdoors! Do some volunteer work! Stop wanking all the time! And def stop watching so much porn!  You MAY be a great guy under all the porn induced delusions, but no one will ever know it if you don't stop making these lame attempts at wannabe Dom guy shit. This is not what being a Dom or Master is even about! You are not a white knight, you are an idiot. Get a clue, get real, and stop writing me these I want to take you to my castle in the sky email propositions!  You can thank me later. 

Orlando continues to have a markedly high number of HIV diagnoses, much like Florida as a whole, and the area is struggling to get care for those who need it, according to newly released analyses of 2021 data. That year, 618 people in metro Orlando were diagnosed with the human immunodeficiency virus, which can cause AIDS, bringing the total number of HIV-diagnosed people in the metro area to 14,298. Florida— with 5,000 new cases each year over the last decade — has among the nation’s highest rates of new diagnoses and hasn’t seen much of a decline even as the U.S. saw an 8% decrease over the last 10 years. Orlando’s rate of HIV-positive residents is higher than Florida’s average and almost double the national average, according to data released Nov. 14 on Aidsvu.org, which visualizes HIV’s impact using data from state and city health departments compiled by researchers at the Emory University  Take care of yourself. Don't be a statistic

Why we aren't drowning in playmates. Playmate/ submissive playtoy - someone we like enough to interact with, who either comes to provide service, or kink, or some combination of both. I was asked how often I get this. Someone else asked "where are the success stories?" Why I have so many stories about the failures. If we have a fun playmate, that's private, unless they are comfortable having their kinky fun splayed all over the net. I post about the failures, usually in my group, to help future readers figure out what NOT to do. What my limits are and why, and ideally how to avoid fucking up with Dommes in their own searches. Now, the first question - how often? Seldom. And here's why - We have spent a lot of time working on ourselves on many levels for many years, to become better, mentally/emotionally/spiritually healthier human beings in general, which unfortunately has the problematic side effect of causing one to have a lower tolerance for people who haven't done that work. And as was said in Star Trek Next Generation - "the higher, the fewer." The more you level yourself up, the higher the standards you try to live by, the better the human being you try to be, the fewer people you will be able to be around. The fewer people will be tolerable. The fewer people will be able to understand you when you talk about anything more than the weather. The more you work on yourself, the more alone you will be. Then again, the more you work on yourself, the more you will like your own company, and the more you will prefer being alone to being with the wrong people. People who aren't automatically honest, who don't work toward direct, open communication as the default, people who don't make every effort to say only what they mean, and stick to what they do say, people who don't self-analyze and self-correct and so on. People who can't or won't set healthy boundaries. And so on. All of these things create practical problems, (lying, STDs, flaking, anger issues, failure to respect limits or requirements, etc) as well as emotional stress. All of these things impact consent, safety, and trust. All of these things are solely under the control of the individual, and while we can set the boundary that we won't engage in interactions with them unless they commit to them, the average person isn't actually interested in or concerned with being a better person beyond lip service, or even to getting their kink on enough to make the work worth it for them, even if it would make their entire lives better in the long run. It's almost impossible to have real conversation with people like that, too. We just don't seem to speak the same language anymore, and we get people telling us how we are "taking (ourselves) too seriously" or accusing us of being stuck up and putting on airs. The reality is that we just don't want to deal with the problems that dysfunctional people bring with them anymore. And if we never find another really awesome people to play with because of that, we still come out ahead, because we won't have trash people fucking up our lives. Not to put too fine a point on it.

Podcasts - setting tone and direction & other must listen: english spoken: Diaries of a Domme + Questions Answered, by Chastity Queen Obedient Love Podcast, by Ms. Viola Voltairine Female Led Relationship Podcast, by Marisa Rudder  deutsch/german: Nika Macht! - Das wahre Ahh und Ohh des BDSM, by Anika Tiegs Dominante Grüße, by Lady Penelope Bound-n-Hit, by Lady Julina enjoy & ...obey   

Master's WritingsDo We Force or Do We Cultivate Submission?As Dominants, do we take or do we nurture? Do we force or do we cultivate? Do we allow for discovery and awareness or do we force a submissive to become the vision of submission we held in our minds before even meeting them?Nearly every Dominant I have ever talked to has a fantasy or a story about "taking" a submissive. We hold an ideal in our mind of what a submissive should be like, act like and perhaps even sound like. But do we truly, as Dominants, cultivate a submissive to find their own unique, natural path to their truest self?I believe in guiding a submissive, there is an easy road and a hard road. And like all things the harder road will always produce the richest results. The easy way is to take, force, and command them to fit into a predefined mold. For a skilled Dominant, grooming a submissive this way may be swift, but shallow, suitable for play, but not for a lasting dynamic.The only submission I find worthy of my time and energies, is one that is freely given, honest and genuine, where the submissive understands why they have chosen to submit. I find there are several critical aspaspaspects that are always part of this "harder" and, what I believe to be, a more fulfilling road. Though it might sound manipulative, it is not when done openly and honestly with the purest of intentions toward your submissive.Understanding: One cannot dominate another without knowing the person. One must understand the individual, both the vanilla and the kink. You should spend time to get to know how they think, what they believe, and the motivations behind them all. Share freely of yourself as well to create mutual understanding and build trust. Seek to discover the things that have shaped their life, brought them to the lifestyle - fears, joys, struggles, and fantasies. Each truth either of you share, unlocks a clue about how best to bring them out of their shell and open them up.Engage the mind before the body: The lifestyle and all its kink, when done right, will always be vastly more mental than physical. So many of the things we do here require deep trust, openness, and communication. I know you have heard this all before, but have you thought about what cultivates such trust? It is the mental closeness that comes from sharing, talking, connecting, explaining, and engaging in ways that are respectful of the thinking being standing in front of you, and generous in the giving of yourself. It is the understanding of how a mind works that reveals their blocks, their turn-ons, their fears, and the past damage that continue to color their present self, for good and for bad. As Dominant, be inquisitive of what takes place between their ears, not just between their legs and always engage the mind before you touch the body.Cultivate their awareness of self: In order for any of us to participate fully in the lifestyle, one must have an awareness of who we are, what we want, and why we want it. Few have taken the time to fully explore this in a meaningful way. If you have not, I encourage you to do this for yourself. Ask at least 3 why's after ever truth you think you have uncovered. Dig, explore and be curious. Don't be satisfied with superficial awareness but strive for the hidden understanding behind each “why”. Then when you have a better understanding of yourself, help your submissive explore in this same way. No judgment, no shame, no allowance for them to become self conscious or hide from a hard truth (of course in a supportive and respectful way that allows us all to share in our own time - some truths are really hard to share). Remain open, honest and welcoming. Create a safe place for them to share all with you. Don't lead or channel them to a specific place but allow the discovery to be organic. There is beauty in watching a flower unfold on its own. Question, reflect, explore and require total honesty as you go deeper. Only in this way can you guide them to an awareness of their most authentic self.Build confidence: Few dominants speak of the power of a submissive. I find that there is enormous power in the confidence and submission of an submissive. To know your most authentic and natural self is one of the highest forms of enlightenment I can think of. As a Dominant, I see it as our job to build that confidence, not break them down.It has been my experience that as you begin working on this fourth aspect, all of the work you have done comes together to provide you a depth of overall understanding of your submissive and quite frankly, they will, and should, understand you as well. I have always seen the yin and yang of D/s and M/s relationships being a growing together rather than a forcing to comply or taking of a submissive. There is no sweeter fruit than the fruit that is given freely and for an s to give themself freely, without reservation to a Dominant who truly "knows them" is priceless beyond compare. Once you have tasted such fruit, I doubt you will ever settle for less.A word of caution: This is powerful guidance, and not to be engaged in lightly. We do not use this for manipulation or deceit. We engage openly and honestly in order to seek the same in our partners. If you, yourself, are not yet ready to be fully open with your partner, please do not attempt this, you will only cause pain and emotional harm when you cannot reciprocate the openness that you have worked to create.For those on both sides of the slash, I wish you understanding and beauty and hope this helps in some small way in your life.

Life has been quite the tumult lately, with my father's heart attack turning our world upside down. Amid the anxiety and the worry, the hospital visits, and the sleepless nights, I've been shouldering the responsibility of my father's shop of beautiful Indian dresses. It's been challenging, but also rewarding in a unique way, connecting me to my Indian roots and my father's passion. As if managing the shop and our home wasn't enough, I've also been grappling with my own emotional journey. As you know, Diary, my late husband introduced me to the world of BDSM, a journey we had just begun exploring together before his untimely passing. I've found solace and a sense of liberation in the dynamics, the play, and the trust required in such relationships. We had our own special names in our BDSM dynamic. He would call me his 'Cherished One', a name that symbolized his respect, love, and the care he took of me. In turn, I called him 'My Guardian', my protector, my guide in this new world. These names weren't just labels; they were expressions of our bond, our trust, and our shared journey into a world that was both thrilling and nurturing. Now that I'm ready to venture back into this world, I've been receiving messages from individuals and couples who are interested in exploring these dynamics with me. However, what I've noticed is that some of them resort to titles and names in their initial messages without establishing a rapport first. While I appreciate their interest, I firmly believe that such names and titles need to be built on a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and consent. Being addressed with a name that I haven't agreed to feels disrespectful and unsettling. So,,that's how life is going right now - a whirlwind of emotions, responsibilities, and new experiences. I'm still learning, still navigating my way through all this, trying to find a balance between my duties, my self-care, and my desires. Here's hoping the road ahead becomes a bit smoother.

 GGGRIZZZBEAR