Since it is difficult to edit the Profile here, I will put most of my information into the Journal.If it is in ALL CAPS it means I have done this and am willing to do again, everything else I am interested in or willing to do or try.     ANAL SEXASS PLAYASS WORSHIP AtM                         BEGGING         BLINDFOLDS    BODY WORSHIP         BONDAGE                 Cages         CANDLE WAXCanes and CROPS         Chastity         CLOTHED FEMALE NAKED MALECLOTHED MALE NAKED MALE                 Cock and Ball Torture, CLAMPS, etc.COLLAR AND LEASH        Cross Dressing         Dildos (HANDHELD & Strap-ons)DOMESTIC SERVICE         Electrical Play         Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)Enemas         Eye Contact Restrictions         FACE FUCKFACESITTINGFEM DOMFOOD PLAYFOOT WORSHIP         FORCED BI         GAGSGINGER, FIGGINGHair Pulling         Hairbrush SpankingsHANDCUFFS SHACKLESHoods         HOUSEWORK SERVICE        HUMILIATIONICE CUBESInterrogation Role PlayJockstraps & UNDERWEAR used as a gagKidnapped Role Play         LICKING  MALE DOMMassage (GIVING)         MASTURBATIONMouthsoaping    Object Role Play    Open Mouth GagsORAL INTIMACY        ORAL SEXORGASM CONTROL AND DENIAL        OTK SPANKINGSOUTDOOR BONDAGE         PISS and scat play (Scat needs discussion.)Predicament Role Play         PUPPY Role Play         RIMMINGROLE PLAYING        Role Play CHATROUGH SEXSENSORY TOYS        Shaved Pubic Hair                  SPANKING/PADDLINGSPEECH CONTROL         SPITTINGSPREADER BARSStockings         STRAP & BELTTOYS & VIBRATORS                  WATERSPORTS    WHIPS     MY LIMITSThese are Hard Limits!  I am not willing to be pushed on these.No Under Age:  No one under 18!No Drugs: Of any kind, this includes poppersNo Blood: Yours or Mine!No Diseases or Similar:  Condom for anal unless you have a RECENT test results.No Asphyxiation or Breath PlayNo Cuts, Burns, Brands or Tats (On me!)No Injuries: I mean no broken bones, insertions (Sounds, etc) or ANYTHING that may require a trip to the ER!No Punching or Kicking:No Permanent Marks:  Nothing that will last more then a day or three. This INCLUDES writing and drawing on me!No Head or Body Shaving:No Public Play: Too many CC cameras and cell phones out there.  I do not want to be arrested or see myself on TV or the internet.No Pictures or Video, Live Feeds etc that show my face or identity.Though I am single, I cannot Host but can manage travel within reasonable distances.

  Surrender control of the mind and thus its body to find the space that quells the noise

 I shouldn’t have drank coffee late in the evening.  So now I am up writing out my thoughts. I will be paying for this tomorrow. -sigh- I’ve been seeking a Dom for the past four years without much success. Partly because I feel jaded with most of the men I have encountered. Also, I admit, sometimes I self-sabotage. I become immensely turned off by men who refuse to show themselves, as well as those who immediately refer to me as “Princess”, “babygirl”, and even “girl”. Or, when they are speaking with me OUTSIDE of an official dynamic and say “Good Girl”. I immediately become uninterested.  I am not fully inexperienced, though I’m also not fully experienced either. I have had one Dom. I learned a hell of a lot from him. Good and bad. Especially, how I should be treated. I get that this is a kink site with a LARGE spectrum of diversity when it comes to kinks. However still, I would prefer to be approached respectfully. I would like to be courted. Is this even possible within the realm of kink? Goodness I hope so.  I don’t have much on my page regarding to what I am seeking, well, because I’d like to keep my options open and not narrow down my dating pool even more than it already is. Plus, most of what I am seeking is repeated on multiple profiles, so it all sounds regurgitated after a while.  I would love to find a man who is secure with himself. I am somehow attracting men who aren’t in some ect or another. I won’t go into detail here. But, I’ve noticed. Right now, in my life, I’m focused on working, saving money for visits with my children, and seeking a partner. So to me, while it is life, I self-sabotage due to thinking others may not find that appealing. Which it may not be. However, I would prefer a family oriented kinky partner. I believe someone is out there for me.

A bit of a rant here but Men SUCK!   They are selfish, rude, inconsiderate and far, far too unreasonable.   I fully see and understand why so many women are weary and overwhelmed and just done with men online so often.I have said before i'm pansexual.   Over the past year, I have spoken with several men.   I wouldn't call them Doms as their actions don't warrant the term.   I am learning that Most men fall into one of 3 categories.  Most, but not all.   Most of whom have spoken to me anyways.   And at least one, but many of the many fall into all 3.1 - very very very sexual.  So very sexual focus even when I push and try to talk 'relationship'.   Having no desire or interest of talking likes or hobbies, or what they like to do for fun(besides sexual comments) and usually very quickly stearing the conversation back to sex or kink.2 - very very very unreasonable.I understand the desire to move quick and to not string things along.   I'm more than willing to meet for coffee the same day if it works out and you are 30 min or an hour away or so depending on circumstances.   I HAVE before.But most men online that I speak to are much further away.One after speaking for 2-3 days kept asking nonstop about trying to make plans to meet.   I offered to videochat(I know, but if done the RIGHT way it's like taling over dinner or coffee at a coffeeshop)(almost a Must to establish and maintain anything long distance without a lot of money invested in travel)Bit he didn't want to videochat.  Just make plans and set up a flight(paid for by me) in the next couple weeks or month or so.   I didn't lead him on, was honest and upfront, and frankly..  after 2-3 days?!?Another after a week started active planning a trip, HALFWAY across the country(1500 miles away), to come pick me up and take me to a new forever home with him about a month later.  He also gave me a list of rules and to call him Master and wanted to be very controlling of me very overnight, after a week of talking.(disappointing as he was one of the few that wasn't all sex)Among others....3 - Petty, rude, insulting, almost bipolar when they get pushback.I try not to ever be rude.   But saying no, or i'm not interested, or in the case of the 1500 mile man I was very polite and didn't push baco other than saying this is all moving too fast, i'm overwhelmed and can we please slow down some so we can get to know each other better first.   Plus I'd like to meet at least once(if not more) before upending my life to move to you.  Can we look at setting up a meeting instead first?   His reaction?   call me some names and block me on everything.  Like what?!?But it seems like blocking is very common as it happens over the slightest thing.   Send a pic?  block.(not always, but it has happened)  I say no, can we talk more, i'm not interested, can we go slow, or even once "i'm not really into country music"   almost always block.     The one rare case?   he kept messaging and emailing me for weeks, even after I told him we wouldn't be a match and i'm not interested.it's so very exhausting.....  MEN -  Do better.  Be better.   Be honest, be truthful.  and don't be afraid.   Like I would stalk someone who told me off?   no, i'd just move on.  but be polite and respectful about it.  not rude and insulting...

Let me make this very clear. You crossed a line you should have known better than to approach. You do not get upset with me for living my life, and you do not question how I choose to spend my time, especially when it involves my family. The fact that you felt entitled to react that way tells me you lack the discipline and awareness required to be anywhere near me. That is not submission. That is immaturity. So I’m correcting this quickly. I am pulling back your access. There will be no sessions, no casual conversation, no expectation of my time until I decide otherwise. If you are going to remain here at all, you will take this time to reflect and adjust yourself. Stronger boundaries are now in place. You will respect my time, my life, and my priorities without hesitation or commentary. If that is something you struggle with, then this ends here. Decide accordingly. Happy Mother's Day to me you sorry worthless excuse for a human.  — Goddess Nikki

This is a short story i wrote a couple of years ago . . Is your life really that empty? Maybe the best words I have ever spoken Is your life really that empty? That may be the best opening line since ‘.......I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal'. In truth maybe not, but these words got me here, pressing keys on my pc’s keyboard about to tell my story. A good opening line, true, although not a good place to start my tale, so, where to begin? Who I am, where I was when I first saw her or the reason I spoke those words? Maybe to ground this thing would be best, I am male, a Dom, a sadist, not rich, not powerful, slightly artistic, getting to be older than I want to be living in a small suburb of a small city in the English Midlands. It was a Tuesday, early afternoon and I was on a coach going to Nottingham to check out an art gallery to see if they would exhibit, or sell, some pieces of my work. Don’t get all excited thinking I am a master painter or sculptor selling pieces for hundreds of thousands of pounds (yes pounds and not dollars) I sell my work for between £100 – 200 if I am lucky enough to find a buyer.Anyway, I first saw the girl, woman, standing on the platform along with others, waiting for our coach to arrive and noticed her because she fell into that style of female I like, slim, simple hair style, makeup tending towards the Goth, in jeans, ankle boots and a soft leather jacket and no handbag – simple pleases me. I am a good and sadistic Dom but I am no good at talking to females I do not know in vanilla situations so I took in her images, filed it under, ‘what a shame’ and then as the coach arrived I entered and walked to the back and sat down only to find she followed and sat in the seat in front of me on the other side of the isle. As we pulled out of the station I saw her take out a book, find her place, about a third of the way through, and begin to read. To say my mental image of her was shattered would be far too extreme but I was so disappointed in her. If she was vanilla it was such a pointless thing to read and if into my ‘lifestyle’ a really sad thing to read and I didn’t know which was worse. I tried to ignore her, and the book, as the minutes ticked by.  I watched houses and trees and cars pass by before we reached the dual carriageway, connecting the two cities, and the coach built up speed. I noticed all other passengers were seated nearer the front leaving at least seven rows of empty seats between us and them and I decided this was the universe telling me to do something – the universe seldom tells me to do things in case you were wondering. I moved across the back seat until I was slightly to her left but still behind her and said in a normal speaking voice, not too loud, not too quiet, “Is your life really that empty?"I accept this could be a very insulting thing to say to anyone especially a stranger on a bus but the words formed and so were spoken. She lifted her head from the book but did not turn around, I could see her face from where I sat and her mouth turned down slightly, not in a frown but in a puzzled thoughtful way and lowering the book to her knees she said, “Why do you say that?" "I am a Dom and a sadist”, I said although not sure why I was so truthful, “I don’t usually tell people as most do not understand.” I paused waiting to see what she would do or say. "I see.” Was all she said, which didn’t give me any sort of clue or guide to what I should do or say next.  "The book does not relate to the real world of BDSM, most of us are so normal we are as boring as vanilla folk.” I saw a smile come to her face at this so continued, “It is only when we play that many of us diverge from the norm, but I suppose the same could be said of golfers or those that go tenpin bowling every week.” She laughed at this; thank god.  "How do you dominate people then, do you do it with men or woman or both?” She did not turn around as she spoke.  "Before I answer that, have you tried anything in a fetish way; are you sub or Domme or both?"  "You would certainly call me vanilla I think. Everyone is reading the book so I thought I would too.” She paused for a heartbeat and then said, “I am not sure if I would like to submit to a man, I think I might giggle too much if I had to call someone Sir or Master."  "There is much rubbish talked about BDSM, you do not need to call him Sir if that is not what you want, I have little interest in a female calling me Sir unless it comes naturally to her at a time that seems correct to use it.  "BDSM is like real life, it is not a video game, it merely has a few given rules that vary as much as any vanilla couple’s rules vary, that and blindfolds and restraints obviously"  "Something else I would not like until I trusted him enough.” She said and added “How to you write a contract?"  "I am a sadist, I like a little fear in my play, if you trusted me, or knew me too well, could you really be scared of me? I thought this was a statement too far and wondered if I was trying to sabotage this conversation. “There is even more bullshit talked about contracts.  No contract is needed by 999 out of a 1000 couples. “I say ‘do you want to play’? You answer ‘I am new to this’, I say, ‘understood’. What more needs saying?"  I watched her face, and saw a small frown crease her brow, “Remember, you have the power to stop whatever is happening by simply saying a single word, it is easier to stop what is happening in a BDSM encounter than, say, trying to get rid of some half drunk moron in a nightclub who is likely not to take no for an answer. If I do something you do not like, it ends and the play stops, it is in the skill of the Dominant one to not make you say that word."  "I don’t understand,” she said, ”if you are dominant how could I stop you doing what you want especially if I am blindfolded or tied up?"  "Blindfolded, AND tied up” I said with a smile, “I said before, BDSM is real life, if you say the stop word and the dominant one continues that is assault, or as close to it as make no difference, BDSM does not give anyone the right to, umm, go too far."  The coach stopped and two elderly couples boarded and I watch with not a little ‘fear’ as they decided where to sit, the universe was still on my side and they sat side by side 5 rows in front of the girl.  We were well passed half way to the city and I didn’t know where the girl was going, the University of Nottingham Campus would be reached in 5 minutes or so and she could easily be a student there. So as the coach moved on I said.  "It is much easier to show you, show someone I mean, what happens in BDSM play than to describe it, just like if you were going on a first date in the vanilla world you go on it and see how things progress”.  She sat for a second and then put the book back in her pocket, “Thanks for the chat but I have to get off in a couple minutes."  "Ok, I don’t usually talk like this on buses with cute females I don’t know so thank you for not running away screaming.”  I reached into my pocket and took out my business card, “I am a body piercer so I have a card, if you are bored give me a ring and maybe I can answer some more questions or, if your curiosity gets stronger, I can show you my Domly skills.” I reached forward and placed the card on her left thigh, gently pressing the card down, before taking my hand away.  She looked at it before picking it up and putting it in her pocket, so I said “I have a normal house on a normal street, although I do have a play room of sorts with some interesting things to play on and with, so if you visit you do not have to walk though a dark wood to a haunted castle."  she took this the way I hoped and laughing said, “That’s a relief, but this is my stop so bye"  "Have fun.” I said as she stood and I was very impressed, not sure why though, that as she got up and walked down the coach she didn’t look back to see who I was.  The coach stopped she got off and I thought I would not see her again and wondered if I should get off too but my commonsense won out and I sat still as we moved off. “One day I will remember to ask a females name” I said to the back of the seat in front of me and again thought ‘what a shame.'  "Good morrow.” Yes, I oft times answer the phone this way. It is Thursday at 7pm and I have been relaxing watching a video on tv.  "Hello.” A female voice replies.  A silence follows which I do not interrupt wondering if this is another recorded message asking if I want to make a personal injury claim or some other tedious drivel. “I thought reality might be better than fiction."  "Ah.” I am a sadist of few words but sometimes one has to be a little helpful, “That is easy to do, come to my home, knock on the door and then enter, all other decisions will be made for you from that point. If you wish things to stop simple say ‘Lucifer’ and I will stop whatever I am doing.  "You do like us to be scared don’t you, I thought we would be discussing what and how, not simply being told to visit."  "When you visit it will be a time of physical interactions, this will not be a time for you to serve me as a slave or for silly things like sitting at my feet waiting for permission to get up or speak."  "Ok, I just come and that’s it, you don’t want to know more about me."  "You are cute, you want to know more about submission and you called me.   That is all I need, I told you before it is for me to play without making you want, or need, to stop me; so all will be found out when you are here."  "When can I come and should I wear something specific?"  "What an entertaining fem you are, if free tonight come at 9 pm or come tomorrow at the same hour. As for clothes, if you wish to please then, as I am a male; heels, hold ups or stockings or bare legs, a thong, g-spring or nothing. Short skirt, not denim (hate denim), shirt with buttons and a skimpy bra or no bra, a coat may be wise as it is somewhat cold out."  "You sound like you have said that before, I will see what I can do and tonight would be best in case I chicken out tomorrow."  I gave her my address and added, “For your safety, and to make you feel a little more relaxed, tell your best friend you are visiting me, say about piercing if that is easier, and tell them you will call when you arrive here too. You will be safe here but it is a wise thing to be careful."  "I will see you tonight then, what should I call you."  "I will be waiting, and for tonight you can call me Demon.” I clicked the end call icon on my mobile and laughed out loud, maybe not such a waste after all.  I never plan what I am going to do with a sub, that way leads to disappointment more times than not, so I sat and watched my video till a suitable time came for me to stop it. I have a small pack of dogs so I sent all of them to their beds and went upstairs to change.  I checked to see that my playroom was ready and laid out my toys on a rack then, with 30minutes to go, had a quick shower and dressed in my Domly garb.  I decided to start the evening off on a high pressure moment, to see how she reacted, so dressed in leather trousers, knee length New Rock boots, vest and full length leather coat, all in black, obviously. To complete the attire I had recently made some leather gloves and a full hood, both with spikes and piercings, and these I put on before going downstairs.  I have a hallway leading from my front door to my kitchen with a turn to the right half way down leading to my staircase. At five to nine I turned out the light in the hall, darkness fell, I turned on the kitchen light, closing the door so only a thin sliver of light could be seen, and bought to life my cd player to beginning playing Metallica’s Black album.  I stood silently at the foot of my stairs, a still, dark shadow in the darkness, calmly wondering if she would come or not.  What a good girl she was, just after the 2nd track, ‘Sad But True’, began there as a double tap on the door.  I clenched my fists as a smile, which could not be stopped, came to my lips when the door opened and closed.  I have a tiled floor and her heels, clicked nicely five times before she appeared looking ahead towards the light in front of her.  I stepped quickly forward making a short, high pitched hiss to encourage her to turn a little towards me. Her head turned and, I am sure, she caught a glimpse of a moving darkness just before my right hand clamped over her mouth and my left arm swung over her shoulder allowing my left hand to grip her right arm, pinning her closely to my body.  "You came.” I whispered in her ear.  Her body was shaking violently and I could feel her breath coming in short, sharp, warm pants against my fingers, “Good girl, now control your breathing and relax a little, I have you safe and sound.” As I said this I used my right hand to brush her hair back over her ear and gently kissed it and, moving my head a little, I bit the lobe with just a little pressure from my teeth.  Even in her present shaken state, or maybe because of it, she let out a deep, long sigh and I felt her weight lean into me as she slumped slightly in my arms. Another gentle kiss on her ear followed by words spoken so softly they were more felt than heard, “Clever girl, pleasure and pain, fear and ecstasy and yours to enjoy or stop with a single word.” It is wise to remind a novice of their safeword I find in case, in the excitement of the new, they forget.  My right hand moved slowly inside her coat, which was of a dark material and almost as long as mine. My fingers slipped between the buttons of her shirt to rest lightly on a shear and half cup bra. Her flesh was very warm as I pushed my index finger under the top of the material and rolled her nipple under it then, drawing back my nail, I scraped over the small budding flesh. Another sweet sigh came to my ears.  I thought one more experience, before going up stairs, so my hand left her breast and moved slowly up to her throat and then, with a strong push, I sent her to thud against the wall and tightened my grip.  In the darkness I saw her eyes open wide as she saw my hooded face for the first time, “Sensations,” I said, “it can be all about sensations.”  “Upstairs, time to show you what the book could not.”  I released her and let her lead the way upstairs and into my playroom, the light was on dimmer so added a little dungeony atmosphere. I touched her shoulder to stop her then walked further into the room and sat on a chair facing her.  “Take off your coat.” I said.  I suppose it might be entertaining, and pleasing, to give a short deion of the girl at this point.  As I mentioned she fell perfectly into what I consider appealing, 5ft 7inchs tall, give or take an inch, a size 8 (I know such things as I sell corsets too) with breasts that fit nicely into my hand. Her hair, this evening, was shoulder length, straight and black with, something like burgundy hints. Her face was perfect, as only teenager’s skin can be, without wrinkles or lines and wearing black eyeliner and dark red lipstick.  As she took off her coat, which was a deep purple, I saw she was wearing a red shirt with full sleeves, a soft cotton skirt of a darker red that came to mid thigh, black fishnets and black, ankle boots, maybe, the same as on the first occasion I saw her.  “Hold-up’s or stockings? I asked, “show, don’t tell”  “You really don’t like small talk.” She said and lifted the hem of her skirt to show the lacy elasticated top of hold-ups.  “In case you do not know what these things are,” I waved my left hand to indicate my play furniture, “That is a St. Andrew’s Cross, a simple why to hold you safely, and securely, when being flogged; many like it this way, Dom and sub.  That is a spanking bench, you can lean against it or kneel on the lower cushion, also a nice height to fuck on. I have a pony, which is easier to show you it use than explain; maybe if you visit again I will let you ride it. And on the wall behind you there are many securing points if the cross is not wanted.”  “Come and kneel between my legs.” I said unzipping my coat and opening my knees.  She did not move and looked a little uneasy, “Be a good girl and come here so I can put some cuffs on your wrists. Now she came forward and knelt down, sitting on her heels and placed her right hand on my thigh.  “A little show of defiance?” I asked and not waiting for an answer I put on a leather restraint.  “These were the first things I ever made when I came to the Life.” She watched me intently with a small smile as I fastened the strap then, when it was done, she gave me her left hand for the other restraint.  “Close your eyes.” I said and once they were shut I said, “Open your legs and put your hands behind your back.” Her skirt rose up and I could see pale skin above the fishnets as she obeyed. I reached down and gently pulled my nails along her inner thigh and then sat back to look at her.  “In a few moments I will use some of my toys on you, I will begin with a soft toy and use it gently but then I will change it and use another type of toy and change again and each change will mean more sensation until it brings pain and maybe ecstasy”  I picked up a blindfold and told her to open her eyes and come closer. Once it covered her pretty blue eyes I told her to give me her hand and to stand up.  “Take off your skirt and give it to me.” She pulled down the zip at her hip and climbed out of the skirt. She wore a thin red g-string which was mostly lace and very seethough.  “Give me your right hand.” She did and I placed it on my left shoulder, “Now give me your right foot so I can add an ankle cuff. “Now your left.” Once the other restraint was on I ran my hand along the underside of her leg, over her hold-ups, across skin and gently touched the g-string with my finger tips.  I lifted her foot off my knee and, standing up, led her back to my flogging wall.  “As this is your first time I will let you keep your arms down by your side, I will still tie them as don’t want you covering yourself, but it is a little more comfortable this way. First though I need to do this.” I unbuttoned her shirt and took it off her compliant body. Her bra matched her g-string, cut low letting half a nipple show above both cups. I lifted out her left breast and sucked hard on her nipple pinching it between thumb and forefinger as I let it fall from my mouth, forcing a gasp of pain, or pleasure, from her lips.  I tied red rope to her left wrist restraint securing her hand about 6 inched from her side then did the same with her right wrist, then, before continuing and because she could no longer see me, I removed my hood and coat. I knelt in front of her and kissed her navel before tying a rope to her left ankle restraint and then her right, forcing her legs almost three feet apart  I sat back on my boot heels and looked at her, chest rising and falling quickly as she breathed in short, shallow breaths, one nipple, very pink, hard rested over the top of red material and moving down to more red material, wet and slick as her body, and mind, responded to stimuli physical and mental.  “This is a suede flogger.” I said beginning to gentle swing it in a figure of eight so that its movement caused a breeze that caressed her skin; goosebumps appeared over her arms.  I took half a step closer and the 18 tails brushed against flesh creating delicate slapping sounds. Downwards over left breast then right breast, from shoulder to nipple then, with a slight change of action, from hip to navel, left then right with not too much force, letting the suede tails move across skin once or twice a second.  I took another half step increasing the speed of my swing and the impact now made a very nice sharp sound. An added bonus, for me anyway, was that her hidden nipple had been forced out by the flogging action and the tails hit each pink morsel on each pass of the flogger.  Her skin was turning pink so I stopped and, discarding my flogger, ran my hands over her gently, creating marks with my nails and feeling the warmth I had created.  I have a very sharp dagger, broad of blade and 12 inches long in my playroom, I unsheathed it and laid the cold blade on her left breast, a nice intake of breath was my reward. I moved the edge across her breasts and under the right strap of her bra. A quick upwards pull and the strap split in two, a reverse journey, with a little more pressure this time, ended in another strap cut through. I reached behind her to unclipped the strap and her head came forward to rest against my neck and I felt a gentle kiss alight there. The clip opened (yes I can do this one handed) and felt the bra fall to the floor.  “More.” Was the single word she breathed against my neck.  “Obviously, little one.” My reply.  3 fingers of my right hand moved up quickly to slap the red material of her g-string, ‘very wet indeed’ I thought as I stepped back and reached for my red and black 36tail flogger.  Now, as the multi tails hit, her muscles twitched and small panted sighs came from her lips. Heavy, thudding hits moved a breast with each contact and made a wonderful sound as they hit her flat stomach, only a couple minutes of this and her skin was red and she was dancing on her toes with each hit  I stopped and dropped the flogger into my play bag and stood still simply looking at her, I had a strong, and strange, urge to untie her and carry her to my bedroom and gently make love to her for she looked so innocent and young tied against my wall. I had an overwhelming desire to ‘comfort, no wrong word, worship her was much closer to the mark.  Her head tilted to the left, as though listening for me, and then said, “Demon: Sir? Is everything alright?”  A slow smile returned to my lips and, stepping forward, slapped down hard on her left breast stinging the fingers of my hand. She cried out in pain and, no doubt, shock and her blind eyes looked down to her hurting flesh as her hand tried to reach up to ease the sensation  "All is just as it should be.” I said, “One more toy and then you can turn around for a time.”  I have two toys I call ‘little and big sister’, little sis is a whip flogger with a jointed tail section joining 8 shortish leather tails to the main body of the whip, very flicky and stingy; perfect for nipples and caressing g-strings with touches of fire.  Following the heavy beat from the music, heard and felt from downstairs, I flicked the tails at her legs, aiming just above her knees and, with a strong wrist action, moved the tails slowly upwards, hitting one leg then the other. I was tempted to aim at that small piece of red material but did not want to risk her stopping the play. I, therefore, moved outwards as I got higher and then continued moving towards her navel and up over her breasts. I was rewarded with many twitches, sighs and seeing her hands clenching and unclenching.  I pushed this play as much as I dared, as I love the way this toy touches nipples with fiery kisses, so I watching her face and body intently, looking for the moment when her strength, courage, tolerance or, god forbid, boredom got the better of her.  She was shaking her head from side to side, facing the heavens her mouth open sucking in air as though drowning, so I slowed my swings and eased off the pressure until finally I stopped.  Throwing the toy in to my bag I put my arms around her and pulled her to me, after a moment I raked my nails down her back – sensation upon sensation without time to recover or relax into a lessened state of awareness  “If you do not want this just says no, other things can still continue.” I said and slipped 2 fingers under her g-string and into her wet, warm cunt.  She almost screamed as she thrust her hips forward on to my hand so, smiling (being a sadist makes me smile a great deal), I thrust my fingers into her letting my palm thud into her clit.  I am a Dom, a sadist and I love to inflict pain but I do not like receiving it, so I had an entertaining decision to make for, as my fingers continued to make her body shake and quiver, her mouth found my shoulder and her teeth found my flesh and she bit me as the orgasm, I knew was coming, racked her body.  I added a finger and speed and as her groaning breaths moved against my skin I almost forgot my tortured flesh until she cried out, releasing her hold on me. As her body danced in uncontrolled spasms while waves of orgasm rippled through her the pain in my shoulder doubled up giving me an incentive to reinforce the speed and strength of my fingers lifting her onto her very toes.  “Oh god, stop please stop, for fuck sake stop, god oh god oh god.” Such sweet words tripped continually from her gasping mouth, and like the good Dom I am, I continued, She had arched her back, a beautiful human sculpture curving from toe tip to crown of head resting on the wall with nipples pointing to the sky,  I bent down and bit into her left nipple, teeth clamping hard, head pulling back and lips clamped to allow me to suck hard and long.  I felt a sudden explosion of hot wetness on my hand and she screamed in one long wild cry, second after second her scream continued  as my fingers and teeth did their work, “Demon, Lord, Sir, please, please stop.” she begged as the scream finally died  I stopped my fingers movement but left them buried inside her, releasing her nipple I supported her weight with my left arm as she straightened up to rest against the wall behind her. My fingers rolled over each other in the warmth of her cunt as I slowly withdrew them.  “Open your mouth”, I said, “You have made a mess on my hand.” This she did and as I placed my fingers close to her lips her tongue came out and eagerly licked them clean of her unexpected reaction. “Good girl.” I said as I watched her clean my hand.  “A slight rest, little one, then we will continue with more toys if you still wish it.” I watched her face hoping she would not want to stop. She said nothing as her breathing slowed. I asked, “Would you like some cold water?” With a slight nod of her head I said, “Stay still while I am gone, it will be only seconds but continue to rest against the wall your legs may not want to obey you if asked to do more than stand still.”  On impulse I gentle kissed her lips, tasting her cunt on them, before leaving to run cold water into a glass, returning I let her sip for a few moments until the glass was almost empty.  I placed my right hand, cold from holding the glass, against her cheek and let it travel over her skin to her shoulder then down her arm to reach the restraint. As I untied the rope I said, “I am not trying to break you, little one, I am not trying to release your hidden goddess or any other such sad drivel, I seek only to let you know yourself, your limits, your desires and allow you the freedom to enjoy and act on them.”  With the last rope untied and kneeling in front of her – I am worshipping again I thought to myself - I ran my hands up her legs and under the thin straps of her g-string and then slowly pulled them down her legs until she obediently lifted her right foot, then her left, to allow me to remove them.  I thought for a second or two, artistic considerations my only concern (sometimes my mind takes little detours) and then, making a decision, I removed her boots, ankle restraints then hold ups making sure my hands travelled slowly down her legs as I did so.  Naked, the first time is always so uniquely special, it is a shame how familiarity can diminish the beautiful sometimes - much too deep – maybe tis the fault of Metallica’s ‘Nothing Else Matters’ which is now playing.  No tattoos, no body piercings, (maybe I can add a piece of jewellery so she will never forget me) a tiny scar above her right knee, cunt, now swollen and pink, clean shaven, her skin red with a few subtle marks remaining from the flogging. Worshipping indeed, it is a good thing she wears a blindfold.  I stand and, taking her hand, pull her away from the wall, “Time to turn around,” I say, “Wait”  I leaned a 10 foot piece of wood, 10 inches wide by 2inches thick, against the flogging wall where she had been standing and then placed her hand on it, “Lean on this, it will hold your weight do not worry. It is best if you rest your head on your hands as this get your arms away from the flogger’s tails”  I caressed her back with my nails, leaving swirlling marks in her skin, “I have 2 toys like the ones you have felt, then others that are more severe, twin tailed straps in leather and rubber and then whips and for your arse I have paddles and a horse crop. You may be surprised how much you will like your back being flogged but I would hate for your front to feel left out”  Resting my weight against the full length of her body, crushing her against the hard wood, I reached around to attach a butterfly clamp to her right nipple and she cried out a little, which was pleasing, as it bit. I attached the other to her left nipple and said, “There is a chain between them, do not pull away from the wood or you will not enjoy the result.”  ‘Big Sister’ is a flogger with 12 plaited, leather tails about 36inch in total length, I stood behind her and, again using the typical figure 8 action, began to touch her skin, very gently to start and at a slow speed too.  Building up speed and strength over a couple of minutes she began to make sweet music of sighs and little cries, the tails hit with delicious sharp sounds of their own as I began to punctuate the pattern of swings by sending much stronger whip like flicks at her arse, which, soon made her tense her muscles in anticipation of the next strike.I laid this toy down and picked up my purple and black Cougar (a longer 12 tail leather cat with 4in leather thongs at each tail end). I began again using this new toy in the same place and in the same pattern but then moved to my left, continuing to hit as I moved.  Once I stood level with her shoulder and about a stride from her I changed the way I used the Cougar. I now brought it down in single strokes, striking from shoulder blade to shoulder blade and moving down her back to her arse using much more strength especially when connecting, horizontally, on her reddening arse cheeks.  I could see her face as I stuck, and with each hit her teeth bit into her bottom lip. I said, continuing to hit, “Your choice, 12 hard strokes to upper back or arse?” she did not reply for a couple of seconds so I added, “And then I will take the clamps of your nipples.”  “Bum” she replied so I hit her hard on her shoulders and said “Bum, what”  “Bum, Sir” she said quickly after a gasp  “I was expecting a ‘please’, but Sir will do.” And then added, “count them as I hit in case I forgot how many and have to start again.”  She did as was told and by the time she got to 12 her voice was shaking as the strikes had gotten harder, “Good girl,“ I said and throwing the Cougar onto my bag I rubbed her back running hands over slight welts in her skin. Standing behind her I kneeded her arse for half a minute to ease the sting and then moved to kneel by her head.  “A new sensation now, what fun this will be.” I could see her face react as she tried to work out what I meant, “Your sweet, poor, tortured nipple hurt when the clamp went on but now is almost bearable. But when I take it off, new blood with rush back in, nerves will awaken and you will have an experience to file away and fear for the next time. Rubbing it will greatly ease the pain but do not rub it until I say you can.”  I held the clamp and because I am a sadist I twisted it first with a gentle tug, she squealed loudly, “Sorry little one, I just wanted to make sure you remember my words.” I pushed and the clamp opens, her nipple sticking to it for a second before coming free.  Her mouth opened and she sucked air in in gasps as the pain returned to her pink flesh, it was still flattened from the clamp’s pressure and I waited for a count of 5 then said, “You may rub it now.”  Quickly her right hand reached under her and he caressed her breast and nipple, a most rewarding sight. I let this go on for a short time still holding the removed clamp.  “Now then, time to repeat this joy. You get a choice.” I released my hold on the removed clamp and it swung down freely to tug gently on her other nipple, another squeal; being a sadist is fun indeed.  “You can give me a reward, for all my kind attention, and rub your nipple straight away or you must count 60 seconds before I let you rub after it comes off.”  In a most sweet and quiet voice she asked, “What reward, Sir?”  I stood and stepped slightly forward so my leather trousers just touched her upper arm.  ”You can open your mouth.”  “I don’t think I can count to 60, Sir, so the reward is wiser.” I noticed she was smiling and as I pulled down my zip I said, “I must be doing something wrong if you are still smiling. Open.”  I slipped my prick into her hot mouth and, leaning over her, put my left hand between her shoulder blades ready to release the remaining clamp. I closed my eyes as her head began to move and I felt her suck and bite on my, most entertained, cock. “Let me know when you want the clamp off and I will quickly remove it for you to ease the pain”.  Her left hand had found its way between my legs and was holding my left thigh, gently pulling me towards her in time with her head movements. Her right hand she lifted and laid, palm up, on her back, I thought, so I had easy access to the remaining clamp.  After a very pleasing minute or two she took her mouth off me and said ‘now’ and returned to my ‘reward’. Reaching over I pressed in the clamp and pulled it off dropping them to the floor. I heard, and felt on my prick, her squeal as she sucked harder on me taking my prick to the back of her throat, her left hand pulling me in and holding me there though her right hand did not leave her back.  Her squeal became a mauling sound as her body began to shiver and only after about 30 seconds did her right hand finally move and I saw her massaging her right breast. I may be a Dom and a sadist but this sight, with this ‘attention, was too much (I am a male after all) so I pulled myself from her mouth and looked at the ceiling for a few seconds. This only just did its purpose as once my prick was out of her mouth the sounds she then made, as her orgasm came and diminished, could have deflowered a priest.  Fighting an almost overpowering desire to put my prick back in to her, anywhere in her, I finally put it back in my trousers and pulled up my zip – will power, such a pain in the arse at times.  I went to my bag and found my leg spreader, a 10mm bar of mild steel I had fashioned a few years before in the heat of a furnace - not unlike the forging of a new submissive I thought to myself. I found myself kneeling at her feet again as I replaced her ankle restraints and then secured these to the spreader bar, forcing her legs 30 inches apart. I made the mistake of looking up, and the sight of her open and inviting cunt almost made me change my mind about where I had put my prick.  There is a metal securing bolt at the top of the plank of wood so moving to stand by her head I took her hands and tied them to it so she was stretched along the wood’s length.  “The toys from now on will be much more intense?” I said. “I will use each for a minute or so but with each change they will get a little harsher. You already have pretty marks on your skin but these toys will leave better ones that will last for a few days, shall I begin?”  “Yes, My Demon.” she whispered and I saw her grip the ropes that tied her hands.  I take a red and black leather flog with twin, 8 inch, tails and began it strike her back, moving around her, watching her muscles twitch as the stinging leather hit, from neck to arse, leaving growing welts on her skin.  I hit with a constant strength as I moved from her left side to her right and back again until I was back at my starting position where I took a step closer to her and, reaching, sent the tails around her ribs to contact with her softly hanging breast. Her back arched and she screamed in a short feral explosion.  I dropped the flogger and, as she clenched her teeth, grabbed the hurt breast and squeezed it in my fist, “If you are expecting one thing the unexpected is so much better.” I said changing my hold on her flesh and rolling the nipple between thumb and finger.  I saw a tear appear under her blindfold so asked, “Do I continue, you remember the word to end this?”  I could see her think and then she said, “I remember but I don’t know, I think, I think I want to say stop.”  “ok, I will continue with a different sensation, use the word when you know you are sure about ending things.”  I untied her hands, along with one end of the spreader bar then said, helping her stand up, “I just need you to turn around and lay back on the wood.”  She was a little shaky as she stood so putting my arm around her I held her tight. As I did this her head lifted up so I kissed her and was pleasantly surprised as her tongue forced its way into my mouth. The kiss continued and my hand found its way between her legs and a single finger entered her gently slipping in and out as she lifted her left leg to give me easier excess.  “Enough.” I said removing my finger and mouth from her body, I helped her back onto the sloping wood and again tied her hands high above her head, to the securing bolt, I then secured the spreader bar between the ankle restraints under the wood. The bar has a loop at midpoint and to this I tied a length of rope, the other end I tied to the flogging wall, pulling her feet back under her arse and lifting her cunt high as her hips where pulled wide due to the width of the plank.  I sat on the chair I had used earlier and took off my boots and then trousers. I found a condom and with a little concentration, put it on then selected a horse crop, which had two short leather tails about 2 inches long, and moved to stand at the foot of the wood plank.  With small, sharp movements of my wrist I sent the tails across her nipples, first one then the other, hitting 10 or 12 times in a staccato rhythm then changing the target to hit once between her legs, on soft pink lips which stood, unexpectantly, open. I repeated this 3 or 4 times until I judged I had risked enough and she had had enough.  I moved to stand by her side and, while I stroked her body from nipple to inner thigh, I whispered in her ear, “Some do not think fucking is part of BDSM so I shall ask if you wished to be fucked before I do it as part of this experience.”  “Yes, Sir,” She said with a small smile. “or, Yes Please if you prefer.”  I untied her hands and she let her arms hang down at her side as I lifted my right leg over the plank so my prick was an inch or two from her and said, “Do not be cheeky, little one, you are still tied and just because I will be fucking you does not mean it will be the only sensation you will have  I inched forward and, pushing down on the end of my prick I slowly move inside her and like a good girl she pushed herself deeper onto me. I stood still, prick buried in warmth, and using the crop’s leather tails drew sensual trails across her skin from nipple to nipple to navel to clit and back again. Within a minute she raised her hands and held them again my hips as she began to move on my prick, drawing herself off and then pushing down to rub her clit against my groin as I stood immobile, her breathing began to get faster and, as her nails began to dig in, I saw the growing need she had for me to move inside her. Realising the moment had arrived I rested the crop across her belly and, putting a hand on each of her breasts, leaned down to kiss her ear.  My full weight was pressing down on her, crushing nipples against ribs through the flesh of her breasts. I thrust into her, my movement, adding more pressure and pain, caused her to groan loudly, “I will fuck you for as long as you stand the pain.” I whispered and, pushing myself up on to straight arms, continued to fuck her going as deep and fast as her mirrowing movements allowed.  My breathing was becoming fast as she placed her hands over mine and I saw her dig her nails deep into the soft flesh of her breasts between my fingers, ‘that is unexpected’ I thought to myself and took my left hand away to see what she would do.  Her hands squeezed and twisted her flesh, raking her nails across her erect nipple leaving lines as red as those I had given from my flogging.  “Harder.” A single word, she said, between gasping breathes as she reached for my left hand.  Making my hands into fists I pressed my knuckles into her breasts as her hands returned to my hips.  I fucked and forced my weight onto her as a building pain built in my hips under her hands, looking down I saw a bright red drop of blood on my skin, red lines, from this dear girl’s nails, mirroring her own marks; a small price to pay  I did not think I would be able to make her cum, or decide to stop this pain, before I came but suddenly her head thrashed from side to side and the raking of my skin stopped. She made no sound, did not breathe as her fingers spread wide and muscles moved in slow waves under the tight skin of her stomach.  I came a second later and, fighting the mix of pain and pleasure in the tip of my prick, continued to thrust into her until her movements calmed down.  A second’s pause, heart pounding, breathing trying to fill my lungs, vision clearing from an unnoticed unfocused gaze, I stand and let my prick die a little inside her.  I grasped the wood plank on either side of her neck and, leaning down, kiss her lightly on the lips. I gently removed the blindfold and threw it onto the floor.  Her eyes remain closed as I pushed myself up to stand looking down at her – fuck she was beautiful.  Her eyes opened slightly, they shine, a small smile comes to her lips and letting her arms fall to her side she closes her eyes again as the smile grows bigger.  Sadly, oh so very sadly, I pull myself out of her and stepping over the wooden plank sit down on the chair because my legs are shaking in a most entertaining fashion.  We stayed like that for about 5 minutes, her smiles, fading then bursting out bigger than before as the minutes pass.  I pulled on my trousers, discarding the condom into a bin, but remained barefooted as I moved to her shackled feet. I knelt down - I seemed to always be on my knees in front of her – and unbuckled the nearest restraint. Reaching under the plank I finally managed to unbuckle the other and, as if by magic, found myself within reach of her glistening cunt.  Like the nice Dom I am I lowered my head and, after one long, slow lick, bit gently into her soft pick lips, she tasted sweet, naturally and with a hint of strawberry from my used condom.  After a few seconds I stood going to her side to help her stand but as I got close she reached out and put the fingers of her left hand in to my unzipped trousers. I stopped and she pulled out my prick and, with a gentle tug, she led me back to her mouth, slow and gentle this time she held me with soft licks and sucks.  With eyes closed, her right hand moved slowly to go between her legs, with slow strokes, she put two fingers inside her.  I am old, but luckily not that old, for as I watched and felt her actions my prick came back to life. I took in what she was doing and let myself react as my body wished with no attempt at self control.  With a full prick in her mouth her fingers moved faster and, again, erotic moans began to come from her mouth vibrating on my shaft.  “I am going to cum.” I said giving her time to withdraw her mouth, if she wished, but she sucked as before and her fingers gained speed and strength adding wet sounds to my already stimulated senses.  I had to grab, with equal strength and need, the plank for balance and her hair to pull her on to me as I came in four strong spasms. She sucked, swallowed and bit as I came and I could not stop a cry cascade from my lips which went, something like, ”fffuuucckkkking jeeeeeeesus fucking Christ” as I tried to pierce the back of her skull with my softening prick.  As I died again, this time in her mouth, she gently sucked and licked until after a minute or so she took her mouth away, looked up at me and said with a smile, “Hello, Demon, my name’s Amy.”  The End - i think?

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are ects about myself that puzzle me, and other ects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”

August 22, 2024 - Pennsylvania Red and something new !       Pennsylvania Red came over for a visit. I recently thought about how I give my guys their nicknames. In this case, his name on one of the hookup sites has the word "RED"in it, and he drives all the way from Pennsylvania. So, today we're talking about "Pennsylvania Red."   Today I was wearing only a jockstrap when he arrived. He stripped in the garage, with the garage door standing wide open. He put his clothing in a milk carton near the entrance door to the house. The milk carton case has a sign on it saying, "Useless pieces of human flesh should strip naked and leave their clothing here before coming inside."   As expected, he came in completely naked. I was leaning back in my chair watching porn and I beckoned him over where he got a nice whiff of my nasty dirty jockstrap. I told him to lick my cock through the jockstrap. Eventually I pulled my cock out the side of the jockstrap and started forcing him deep onto my cock. I laughed each time he gagged.   After a while of having my cock sucked in my lounge chair, I said let's set upstairs where I can be more comfortable. I laid on my back in bed and tucked my cock back inside the nasty jockstrap. He started licking and chewing at my cock through the dirty jockstrap. Eventually I pulled it to the side again so he could suck on my cock again. I grabbed him by the back of the head and pushed him down deep on my cock. He was having a good day at cocksucking. I was definitely enjoying it. Occasionally I would lock my hand behind his head and buck my hips up into his throat. I could feel his slobber and drool coating the jockstrap and my balls. This was great, add some more scent to the jock strap for the next guy.   I just laid back and enjoyed him working on my cock. It felt wonderful. I reached up and grabbed my camera and snapped a few pictures of his mouth bobbing up and down on my cock. He wasn't wearing a hood today so I can't share those pictures, but I do enjoy viewing them privately.   At this point my head was at the top of the bed, my feet at the bottom. He was at the bottom of the bed facing upward toward my cock. I wanted to play with his ass so I told him to shift around to the side, still kneeling on the bed, with my cock in his mouth. I wanted to make his ass available to my right hand. He knows that I love to play with his ass. When he suckis sucking my cock, there is nothing more fun than digging and grinding in his ass with my fingers. I keep forgetting to bring a fuck toy to bed with me. Next time I'm going to have to fuck him deep and hard with a rubber toy, maybe even a vibrating toy, as he sucking and choking on my cock.   I put some lube on my fingers and found his hole. It was tight as usual. But I sunk two fingers as deep as I could into his ass with a quick thrust. He let out a muffled howl on my cock as I assaulted his hole. I started fucking his ass with my fingers quite rapidly. And without warning I slipped a third finger in. He wasn't lubed or loose enough for the addition of the third finger and he let out quite a yelp. I yanked my fingers out and shoved two back in him. I quickly found his prostate again and started harassing it with my fingers. I took my left leg and looped over the back of his neck and used my leg muscles to trap my cock in his mouth. I started finger fucking his ass hard again. He was whimpering. I was being rough today. I loved it. I'm not sure if his whimpering sounds were good or bad but I didn't care.   With my leg looped up over his neck trapping him onto my cock, I started swatting his ass with my greasy hand. It made hard contact. I switched from one cheek to the other knowing that they were stinging and turning red with each additional smack. In this position his hole was still spread wide open as I smacked his ass. So occasionally, between smacks, I would shove my fingers up into his ass, just to hear him grunt and then I would start spanking him again.   Then instead of spanking him on the left cheek or the right cheek, I smacked him right on his hole. He let out a painful moan. It made my cock throb inside his mouth. My leg was still latched over his neck so he couldn't get away from me even though he tried. I smacked right onto his tender hole over and over. Smacking a few times and then finger fucking him. Smacking a few times and finger fucking him hard and deep again and again.   I relaxed my leg and let him come up for some air as I got that third finger back into his ass. As he was gulping for air trying to catch his breath, he was almost crying from the pain of the third finger in his hole. But I was in "a mood," I really didn't care, not at all. I was enjoying it today.   READ THE ENTIRE STORY AT  HTTPS://SirKel.top

First Impressions After I posted about being stood up for my first meet-and-greet / coffee date in years, a few folks seemed to question my lack of anger, or at least my sort of perky take on it.   Let me explain. There’s a saying, “No answer is still an answer.”    A first meeting, like a coffee date, is a first impression. Being a no-show without announcing one is bailing before the scheduled time is … significant. It can indicate a lot of things: a tendency to make bad choices poor time management skills  bad luck streak passive-aggressive tendencies  tolerance testing This last one is particularly significant. Last week was not the first time someone ghosted me and then promptly started asking for a 2ⁿᵈ chance. Complying would have set a precedent: how many times can someone test my patience, fail to keep up their end of a deal before I walk?   The guy could’ve written me earlier, he could’ve taken a ride share. He did neither.   He told me that he was currently experiencing a bad turn in his life. Okay, but why decide to drag a new person into that? Misery loves company?   I showed up, and as a quirk of timing gave him slightly longer than the 15 minutes I’d originally allotted for him to show or at least communicate. I did my part, and thus I have nothing to prove.    If this was a test of his, I’m fine with failing. I racked up some serious points that day. 

As an experienced Dominant in the leather community, I can certainly understand the appeal of consensual objectification within a safe, sane space. When I discover that my submissive derives pleasure from being treated as an object of desire, it elicits a complex range of emotions.   There is a sense of power and control, knowing I can shape their experience and push the boundaries of their submission. But there is also a deep well of trust and responsibility that comes with that. I must handle their vulnerability with the utmost care, ensuring their needs are met even as I strip away their agency.   It's a delicate dance, really.    On one hand, there’s the thrill of reducing them to a mere plaything for my enjoyment.    On the other hand, there’s the profound connection of being entrusted with their most intimate desires. It's a privilege to be granted that level of trust and intimacy. And with that privilege comes the duty to wield it wisely, to push just to the edge without ever compromising their safety or well-being.   Does that resonate with you? The heady mix of control and care, power and responsibility? Please speak to me, and let us explore this dynamic further in the confines of our sacred space.

Maybe God puts someone in your life to figure yourself out, Having a slave for the household would be a dream, but it takes weeks for even each other to see each other. unless their pussies and play the get some mmm and get out game? but let me tell you. I am 36 years old and i was on here on Collarme, I remember the hours at nights where I chat with Doms, Sirs, subs, females males, and just fascinated. Yes my husband and i have hit a really hard time but maybe me taking the time to find a slave would be ideal and let him do his shit while we try to work on marraige, now a lot of you would say NO Go work on that, but see that was the trouble, I tried to do everything I can not anymore. I dont have time to take years to get to know somoeone who wants a Domme, who is kind loving and pushing toward wanting someone who is along those lines but also wants some humilation and and punishment when needed. Dream to live in the country with my household and look onto the mountains and grow old and have my slave or slaves male or female service my household. I can not tell the future, but someone will grow to love this chit Chatty Domme who Loves to be called Misses and Mistress when it suits her, the driffrence is in the words slaves. Also TPE is a must and be prepared to use your mouth. and your hands.  Mistress Nat

Mounting a STR8 male Pilars of society, husbands, fathers, movers and shakers. in all body types and backgrounds. You've got to love them all; at least I do. I'm partial to the bravado, the in your face attitude that screams "I'm terrified of venturing outside of my gender, but with the right MAN I'm game." The one thing to remember is to be subtle, these boys are a scary bunch and the slightest threat to their perceived orientation will make them clam up (pun intended) tight and you will loose your boy. However, once you're in their trust that is your chance to explore and they will provide the info you need. Family, marriage, parental relationships  and home issues. Overwhelmed, over worked, and under sexed; perfect combination and there is you, a strong paternal figure to hug them and tell them you understand  and suffer with his plight.  There is a moment of vulnerability in which you become his whole world as he contemplates all crumbling you are the sturdy support.  Sometimes it takes time to get there. Of course this does not apply to your male bride, the one you want for you only.  Check my journal on male brides.  Eventually it will graduate to touching, hugging, kissing and then cock play.  Once you become the adult in his eyes he will nurse from your rod and do it often because is “us boys.” But once he kneels to suck you his body is yours to explore and his butt is there as he is busy following your instructions on how to please you. Easy does it, touch, probe by do not put you finger in yet. Let him get use to your touch and caress.  Eventually his ass will arch up and that is your cue  to begin your entry. Ever so slowly and tenderly. Let  his  body guide you and then move your body to a position of dominance, standing and him in all fours. Pick him up, embrace him and assure him your understanding and his need for release.  Play with his cock , remember he is str8 and feels entitled. Yet as you play in front prepare the rear by probing his prostate. He’ll go through the roof realizing he never felt this with his wife, there is pleasure in his ass and you, his pal, just opened a new window for him to look out of. He is now yours and he will come back, promise. 

Am I a monster? by Sintara » Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:21 pm I am a female sexual sadist. I spend hours on end fantasizing about torturing men. I don't hate men, I love them actually. The more I like them and the more I feel sexually attracted to them the more I want to hurt them. Nothing turns me on more than the whimpering sounds and wincing facial expressions they make or if they cry. I also find myself turned on if I see a guy limping. Its even more exciting to me to see other people who care about them feel sorry for them when they see the injuries they have later. I would love to be able to torture a guy and then send him home to a loved one and get to be a fly on the wall so that I could watch that person feeling bad for them and trying to help them.I obsess over CBT. My fantasies get pretty extreme. I know that there are many sexual sadists out there but I feel like a monster because my fantasies are so extreme. I feel guilty because despite feeling like a monster I also feel a strong desire to find a man who is masochistic enough to allow me to do these things to him. I try not to think about it but I can't stop. I can't get sexually aroused without picturing suffering men in my mind. I collect pictures of injured and tortured men to look at so that later I can have sex with my husband without him knowing how sick I am.I also have a blindness fetish. I would like to find someone who would agree to wear contacts that made them blind so that I could watch them try to make their way around without sight. I would also enjoy hurting them without them being able to see when it was coming. I might make him complete tasks for me blind so I could watch him struggle. With contacts instead of a blindfold I chould still fully see their facial expressions, which are very important to me. Then I would be aroused enough to have sex with them. I would want them to still wear the contacts during sex so I was in complete control.I'm so tortured by all of this because my husband called me a "sexual psychopath" and I have to hide it from him now. It has ruined our sex life. I'm addicted to it and don't know what to do. SintaraConsumer 4 Posts: 92Joined: Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:57 amLocal time: Wed Apr 20, 2022 12:37 pmBlog: View Blog (0)

As required by my Dom, I publicly declare the following: I am subMeghan, and as I type this this, I am completely nude, except for my dog collar and glasses… Today’s Journal Topic Is: Why The Fuck Haven’t I Posted Any More Journal Updates! I actually get this question a lot.  Unfortunately, that’s part of the problem.  Apparently, you guys are actually reading my journals!  And why, pray tell, is that a bad thing? Well, I’m going to tell you… When I first started journaling here, I wrote as if I was speaking into the void.  I wasn’t writing for an audience, rather I was writing merely for the sake of publicly letting my inner thoughts leave my body and go forth into the vast e-universe.  I thought I was just a “voice in the wilderness” to be lost in the chasm of anonymity. It was a stream of consciousness, a flow of thoughts. It was kinda like talking outloud to yourself, not thinking anyone was listening. However… that was not the case...  You were listening.  And now you all had access to the part of my psyche that I kept hidden away, kept in the shadows, away from “polite” society.  And worse yet…  You had questions! I had mistakenly thought that CS was just another fetish website that was here today, and then be gone tomorrow like so many other sites.  Boy, was I wrong.  LOL I stopped writing because I became very self-conscious.  VERY self-conscious.  I quickly ran away from the spotlight as soon as I felt it’s light upon my exposed soul.  Who the hell am I to have the audacity to think I have anything of substance to say to a listening world? I have never liked being the center of attention.  I am a wallflower, the kind of gal that always stands at the edges of a crowd.  I am quiet, reserved, and passive.  I am a watcher, an observer - not a performer.  And certainly not, heaven forbid, an extrovert! Over time, I’ve been able to reflect.  I’ve decided to start posting again.  I suspect the tone of my journal entries will change, much like Schrodinger's cat, now that I am aware that I’m being watched.  We’ll see.  I will let this journal entry be the start of a new chapter in subMeghan’s ongoing adventure. Here’s to the journey! subMeghan    

I learned today I have a little German blood running through my veins.   Huh.  Maybe I'm a German Gypsy. No wonder i turned out the way I did!  Like the ideas of a nomadic lifestyle with a home base.   But,  still wanting and needing to do something meaningful to contribute along the way.  I have personal projaspaspaspects I work on that are mostly volunteer right now.  All of them revolve around mental health.  Public speaking, podcast guest (in the future) , ideas about incorporating gathering info by meeting people different places and talking about mental health in their country.  Eh?  A dream.  Often I get asked how i see the lifestyle for submissives or slaves life with me.   Some visions that have stuck are.  Partnered yoga with a riding crop. Him keeping on top of nutrition and diet best for My conditions and personal goals. Massage. Pesonal Grooming.  Bathing assist. Pedicures. Manicures. Chauffeur.  Protector. Body guard? Ninja? Plays one on xbox?  Meditation.  Zen. Travel companion (because who doesn't want to visit sex museums and dungeons different places around the world?!) Walking buddy.  Hiking in the woods and letting you pick your switch. Gym mate. Other duties as assigned. I have not led a boring life.  I do not see myself repeating the mundane and predictable.  But is stable and has a routine that can be bright asking wherever we may find ourselves.  My Goddess sanctuary?   I use tarot cards. Oracle. Crystal,s,  gemstones And metals. Inscence.  Nature.  I am spiritual,  not religious. Weilder of varieties of Nasty implements that become crueler and harsher the more sensitive the s gets as I lure them into worshiping me. If I like you well enough. I am used to a certain lifestyle.   I can hold my own with residents in Trump towers as I can in HUD housing.  Not that i go looking for that kind of thing.  Just sorta happened that way.  Humble.  Intelligence.  Dare ye enter.   Negotiations continue  enduring several doubtful thoughts that have mostly been my own.  is hard not to get jaded out here.   It is quite something when I get over myself and Recognize Allow Inspect and Nurture.  

Dallas — April 23–25 I’ll be in the city briefly, and I don’t waste time on unfocused or unprepared men. I’m open to select company while I’m there—but understand this is not casual, and it’s not for those who need to be convinced of their place. I will not be alone. My wife will be present—she is intelligent, composed, and fully aware of my dynamic. You will conduct yourself with the same level of respect, awareness, and restraint you would expect in the presence of accomplished women. This is not a space for nervous energy, over-talking, or performative behavior. I expect presence, discretion, and a clear understanding of how to approach properly. You should come prepared—mentally, logistically, and otherwise. I don’t guide from the ground up in a limited window. If you understand structure, composure, and how to present yourself with intention, you may be worth my time. Dallas is a short stay. Make your approach count. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

Returning to the simple life with my 2nd In recent days I've let myself dream and imagine. Something I dared not do in the past. What wonderful experiences would be paved with carefully laid out bricks to form the perfect path? Each brick a representation of heart felt and true emotional moments of connection and understanding. Each brick carefully examined under my experienced eye as I lovingly place them. Making sure they sit solidly in place to never shift, crack or break under the weight of life's weight. Each meaningful exchange of explorations and discoveries of what I seek found inside the one. Another brick is formed then carefully set in place. The paved path quickly, maybe even too quickly causing one to question its authenticity, leading to my kingdom. My kingdom is where I rule as king and is my domain. It radiates with love, affection and admiration. Its walls are thick and built to protect my residents from any harm or threat an invader my try to assault with. The sun shine thru illuminating life and bringing warmth and comfort to those inside. It's very depths are filled with positive energy for all to absorb. Yet deep within this kingdom also resides a dungeon. It is well equipped with all one would need to break the spirit of another. A place where pain can be pleasure but pleasure also painful. The master of this dungeon is experienced in all forms of infliction. He yields the arsenal of his trade with efficient and deliberate blows. Yet the physical s at his disposal are only superceded by his knowledge of the human psychy. He is like an artist manipulating the canvas before him. Turning it from either a blank or unattractive painting to one that when looked upon will make even the hardest hearted individuals melt and smile at its beauty. Yes the road to this kingdom a complicated one but for the one who seeks eternal belonging it is Eden. If only his dreams of the completed path were true. He looks up to the heavens and is heard to say, "Is this the ONE you have sent to me? Have you taken my rib to form my Eve. If she is, please, let her be all I seek." He returns his gaze and his full attention back to his task at hand filled with hope. Alas, the God's have mocked ones again. His emotions played with like the wireless puppets we are. His eyes distracted on one as the so wittingly sneak the other in behind his back. The unexpected tale of the story taking on a life of its own diverting him from her to another. One who mysteriously was guided to that fateful meet. A message titled, "Ummm....wrong button", mysteriously appearing in his mail. The ball was set in motion like a snowball traveling down a large snow covered embankment, its momentum grew, picking up more snow that clung to it enlarging it! It's mass quickly devouring all in its path as it consumed and grew. Soon too powerful to stop it enveloped all in its surroundings claiming them as its own. As such that mistakenly sent message grew wings and soared. One message led to many which led to hundreds more. Messages soon evolving to phone calls that soon dominated their lives and became the focus of their day. She quizingly and scrutinly joins in with guarded fear of rejection and hurt. For she is not a stranger to the cause but only retreated to protect her heart from more.

Public Service Announcement For those who have a tendency to delete their own profiles multiple times in a few weeks just because they're getting contacts from people of a less desirable gender, age, role, or location there is the option to set Mail Controls so that messages from people of:   certain genders- either any, or who identify as certain kinky orientations outside of specified age ranges outside of your country of residence part of a couple's profile a situation where they have no profile available at the time of contact ... go into the Bulk folder, and thus you don't get a notification that they've contacted you. Depending on how hard-core you are about your filters, you can delete every message that appears in there unread.You can either follow the link I included above, or you can find the Mail Controls button at the top, right-hand corner after clicking on "Read Mail."Now, if you tend to dig into your Bulk Mail no matter what, um, good luck with that.

The concept of being Owned refers to a person who has surrendered themselves as the personal property or chattel of their Owner - Master or Mistress.   A submissive has usually given up their rights and freedom for their Owner to exercise authority over them within a relationship that may extend to full time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.   The submissive has given up all limits except those which their Owner sets or has agreed for them.   From that point on obedience will always be expected first and foremost regardless of its personal feelings. 

Alright......look... if I get a DM asking me to go to Google chat OR any other chat program BEFORE we get to know each other a LITTLE bit THAT is NOT going to happen. Much like that "take off your clothes" and/or "what  are you wearing"    Yes I want and NEED to find a Master OR Mistress and YES that this web page has been reckoned to Mos eisley spaceport, and I understand people have been hurt from their interactions. However:   *I* know that *I* am worth it, I'm worth the time AND effort that is required to claim me, this isn't going to be easy and IF it was then wouldn't you be more concerned? Perhaps, JUST perhaps the reason people get those type of people that are NOT "real" is because of the DM's that they receive? Take it for what it is...   SO the pictures of me ARE me.....the  text I wite (with spelling errors) ARE mine. i'm asking for you, to look deeper, take a chance to nuture a relationship with me,THAT is what will form a unbreakable bond, NOT "what are you wearing".....   With Love,   hope     

It is one of Goddess' greatest joy to bring love and light and support to Gender NonConforming Persons, and I define this quite broadly.  There are many who have approached and received My Blessint, and left changed, happier, through conversation with, worship of, and surrender to Me. It does not matter to Me whether a potential devotee is in the closet, limited in the way in which they can lead their most authentic life, just beginning their journey, at a crossroads, struggling, or in any way doubtful of themselves and their place.  These are not barriers or limitations for Me but part of a worshippers unique personhood.   Similarly, it does not matter to Me what your body is or is not.  The paradox is that as a GNC person you are unique and therefore beautiful, and will be seen as such, but also that you may have an image in your soul of WHO you are that also will be seen, recognized, and validated. It does not matter of you are shy or quiet or frisky or bratty.  Goddess will  identify the traits in you that She desires to mold and draw those from you. Many have felt My Blessing.  Become enriched and devote yourself to Me. Goddess  

Not looking for a long term relationship right now. Although one can never tell how and when relationships develop over time. More interested in meeting Ladies of our ilk who would enjoy the backseat of a Harley while taking in the countryside. Plenty of beautiful roads here in New Jersey, and neighboring New York and Pennsylvania. Great time of the year now. You up for a ride?

Part One    I have you in My grasps, under My complete control, you are sitting there collar and leashed bound, bending to My every wish… or you will be. My thought as I looked at the picture of the man I was about to meet for dinner.  I gave My attire a once over and checked My bag to make sure that I had everything for the night.  While walking out the door, I made a phone call to one of my friends that would be meeting up with me later.  Everything was set to go.    A breath taking beauty walked thought the doors at Blue Moon, A nice but private place. You had been talking to Me for a month now and could not believe your luck. This was going to be one of the best nights in your life or so you thought while I sat down.   We had a nice meal and a few drinks. The night was looking good for you or so you thought, While you left to go to the bath room, Islipped something into your drink to make it a little easier to get you to the house. You wake up in a dark room with a leather collar around your neck.  A black leash was hooked on to make sure that my new toy wouldn’t go anywhere.  Your hands bound with a spreader bar in the middle.  Feet shackled to the wall of My dungeon room.  With a crop, blindfold and CBT in My hand.  First things first I start to put on the cbt, but with no luck for you are too hard at the moment, so I started to take other matters in to hand.  I take My crop and start to slap it against your cock... Telling you to make me happy with letting me put this toy on.  And I dangle it in front of you… punishment for not doing so will be severe.  And you want to please your Mistress, right? I ask. No response from you.  “I’m not   happy”, I said.  And swat another hit to your cock… this time a little yelp came out.  “Do I have your attention, now”…. You answer with a strong but held back “yes Ma’am”.  “Now I told you that this needs to go on you, and you are not obeying me,

Things I pay attention too I read profiles and journals to see what you are about.  What is your name? Names are telling. Is it something about a fetish, kink, or what you are focused on?   I don't care what your fetish or interest list is unless it is your dislikes or hate. Those are mostly the truth and not what you are focused on.  Where do you live?   How far away are you from me?  What I want you to know If you message me from out of state or anywhere further than 50 ish miles away and tell me you want to serve, I want you to know.  You will come to me to meet in California at a local munch at your own expense. After all, you chose to message me and offer to serve.  If you say you will relocate, know you should not assume you will live with me. For this to happen, I would have to know you very well, and the connection would have to be there. This takes time.  I go out into my community to attend munches, play parties, or significant events. I meet like-minded people and meet people who become my friends.  I expect my submissive to do the same and attend to me.  I do not engage in the bedroom, only D/s or M/s.  This is not what I consider being submissive, nor what I am looking for.  I am not interested in sexual services with anyone except the person with whom I am in a romantic relationship.  Romantic relationships take time.  Intimacy is important in any relationship, but to me, it is not sexual.  I do not jump into and out of relationships willy-nilly. I take my time. 

  So many people mistake kindness and good manners with weakness.  A worthy submissive needs to be strong, remain committed even at the most testing times but above all remember its manners & place.   

Longing: In darkness I have fallen but a shadow of a woman.  longing for truth in the arms of a stranger. hidden beneath the depths of such darkening layers. I seek what is there, calling on the edges of my awareness, like shadows dancing upon the glen, will this madness end, I do not know,  I am lost in the ever changing vortex that has shrouded me in it's swirling mystery, it is a dance perhaps more erotic than that of lovers entwined for this dance is the dance of life.  

8-23-2022 Tuesday night.. i took my shower, my daughter was over and left about 10 or 10 30 PM, i had started to feel chilled and for another blanket.. making for 3 blankets i had on top of me! After suffering so long, an hour or two, and developing a fever of 103.6 degrees. i decided i was not waiting until morning, hoping the fever may break overnight. EMS came, one of them ended up being a second cousin!! That was cool to meet a family member. They got me to the hospital s emergency room and i was kept there until 8 AM, i know this because i had to ask if i could get some breakfast while i was in the emergency room. i was diagnosed with an infection in my wound. For those that do not know.. i have two wounds on my back of my right thigh as the result of having lymphedema. The hospital did not say about becoming septic! That has happened, maybe four or more times, in the past. i stayed at the hospital until September 1st when they transferred me to a skilled nursing care facility for further wound care and therapy. i have not been updated with a tentative release date, yet. But it better come soon! my daughter is getting married next month on October 30th!!  Therapy is going very well, they are so happy with my progress. 

Helping someone with a self-image problem can be a delicate and challenging task, but there are some things you can do to provide support and guidance: Listen actively: Let the person know that you are there for them and that you care about their feelings. Encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings, and let them know that you are listening to them without judgment. Validate their feelings: Let the person know that their feelings are valid, even if you don't fully understand or agree with them. Help them to challenge negative thoughts: Encourage the person to question and challenge negative thoughts about themselves. Help them to identify and replace negative self-talk with more positive and realistic thoughts. Encourage them to practice self-compassion: Self-compassion can help individuals to be kind and understanding towards themselves, rather than self-critical. Encourage them to treat themselves with the same kindness, concern, and understanding they would offer to a good friend.

 KandMcouple