to those of you who think that a meeting should be hurried: this is something that you should know about me. I need to have a sense of who I am meeting and the only way I know to do that is to have a lot of conversation and correspondence beforehand. I will not engage in primarily sexual based conversations before establising compatibility and mutual interest. I am much more interested in what's between your ears than what's between your legs.  I have, on occasion, met people off the internet without spending much time chatting with them. Most times it has never led to anything beyond that initial meet. The majority of the people that I do correspond with on here does not lead to a face to face meeting. If it did, consider yourself lucky.  In particular, the need to know the other person is more important than if I was embarking on a vanilla relationship.I don't consider this process 'time-wasted because the search is usually interesting whether it results in a face to face or not. I refused to be hurried in the process. If you cannot articulate with me in an email then the chances are pretty damn high you will not when we are face to face. If any of the above statements seem too trying or unreasonable, I honestly don't care. Just don't contact me.

The Whip The single tail was never my impact play item of choice.  In fact, I was afraid of it.  In Texas there are a lot of whip enthusiasts.  There are vanilla groups in Texas for people who are interested in using one.  For bdsm practitioners the use of a whip for scene play is rarely used.  That doesn't stop people from cracking a whip in the dungeon.  Eventually I learned to love being whipped but it wasn't easy.    Some dungeons prohibit single tails.  They're loud and intimidating. Just hearing that familiar sound (my lame attempt at describing the sound) wu-tish!! was enough to turn heads. Some didn't like the distraction of it during play at the dungeon so in some cases it wasn't allowed.    In the beginning, most of my impact play involved floggers, canes, crops and other similar things. My Domme however was very interested in using a whip and connected with other dominants who had experience with single tails. After we scenes She would seek out someone with a whip and practiced with it.    As her sub, it was fascinating to watch her try to crack the whip. I wanted to please her so I agreed to stand by with my hands over my face as the whip would lightly wrap around me over and over.    I want to whip you while you're suspended she said.    Okay but I'm very afraid I replied.  I'll try it as long as I wear a mask and leather thong.    A friend of mine sold me a mask. It was made of stiff thick leather.  It didn't cover my head but it covered my face and ears. It was so cool looking!  The thong was easier to get. I found a side tie one at a leather shop in town. I also wore a leather collar to protect my neck.  I was ready.  Bring it on I thought to myself.    In the beginning I would be cuffed to a spreader bar with my arms overhead.  My Domme bought a 4ft whip which we used for practice. After a few sessions we didn't like the damage it caused. It was very painful. I hated it.  We later learned that shorter whips cause the most pain.    We bought a 6 foot whip and practiced with that for awhile.  Finally we bought an 8 foot whip.  My Domme could now stand far away and whip me like a pro. Both of us were amazed at the performance of a long whip. She learned to throw it around me and got that Wu-tish!! sound Everytime.    We went to our favorite dungeon and did a scene with the whip.  This time I was suspended and wearing all of the protective gear I bought. I was hoisted up and whipped.  She took long pauses between lashes.  Every lash has purpose. She wanted evenly spaced marks.  I wore those marks proudly and the scene caused quite a stir.   Dominants like to push limits and subs often don't think they can say no. In my case, I agreed to be whipped while suspended because I was now confident if her ability and I felt safe.  We were refining our scene. Little did we know but we were about to make a huge impression on the Texas scene.   Next up: The Gift. 

 One of the hardest things to learn as a Domme type because it goes against a lot of societal programing, is extracting obedience when there is resistance and things are going wrong. These rules from a military prospective should be kept in mind to help us. -You can’t expect obedience because someone owes you.-You can’t expect obedience because you have won a popularity contest.-You can’t expect obedience because it makes sense to them.-You can’t request obedience.-You can’t bargain for obedience. It is something you must command.

Meeting Derek Mears last Saturday at Days Of The Dead Atlanta (2/22/25) was AWESOME!  So glad he didn't cancel this time, he was SO FRIENDLY SO CHATTY. Lol He really seems to enjoy going to horror conventions to meet and mingle with fans, like Myself, I managed to upload a pic of Derek Mears and myself to share. Yes he is really tall, but not meanacing at all. Lol No! He really is a gentle giant of a man in person.  Smiles  Hope to run into Derek Mears again at another Days Of The Dead, and I was so sad to hear about Tony Todd passing away last year.   RIP Candyman 

  Joining a M/s (Master/slave) poly house in modern times requires a deep understanding of the dynamics and expectations involved in such a relationship. If you are interested in joining a M/s poly house, the first step is to educate yourself about the lifestyle. This can be done through reading books, articles, and attending workshops or events related to the topic and talking to the house members. Do not  hesitate to ask questions, it shows interest and it will help educate you about the house you are talking to.  It is also important to consider your personal boundaries and what you are comfortable with in a relationship. It is essential to communicate these boundaries clearly with any potential partners. Joining a M/s poly house requires a significant amount of trust and communication, so it is important to establish these qualities with your partners and the Master of the house.  Once you have a clear understanding of what you want from a M/s relationship, it is time to start looking for potential partners. Online communities, such as BDSM or fetish dating sites, are a great place to start. You can also attend local events or workshops to meet like-minded individuals.  When you find a potential partner, it is important to take your time getting to know them and establishing a strong connection. Communication is key in any relationship, especially in a M/s poly house, so it is important to make sure that you are both on the same page.  It is also important to consider the legal and social implications of joining a M/s poly house. Some communities may not be accepting of this lifestyle, so it is important to be prepared for any potential social or legal consequences.  In conclusion, joining a M/s poly house requires education, self-awareness, communication, trust, and a willingness to be open to new experiences. It is important to take your time and make sure that you are comfortable with your partners and the dynamics of the relationship before committing to it. Additionally, it is important to consider the dynamics of the existing M/s poly house that you are considering joining. Each household is unique and has its own set of rules, expectations, and dynamics. Make sure to ask questions and have open and honest conversations with the members of the household before making a commitment.  It is also important to establish clear communication with all partners involved in the relationship. This includes discussing expectations, rules, and boundaries with all partners. This helps to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts within the relationship.  Furthermore, consent is a key ect of any M/s relationship. It is important to establish clear and explicit consent with all partners involved. This includes discussions about what activities and behaviors are acceptable and what are not.  It is also important to have an open and supportive network of friends and family, as well as access to resources such as counseling or therapy. These resources can help you navigate the challenges and difficulties that can arise in any relationship, especially a M/s poly house.  In conclusion, joining a M/s poly house requires a lot of thought and preparation. It is important to educate yourself about the lifestyle, communicate openly with potential partners, and establish clear expectations and boundaries. Above all, it is important to prioritize your own comfort, well-being, and happiness in any relationship.      

 Captive Desire   The night was quiet, save for the occasional creak of the house settling. Olivia Bennett sighed, shutting her laptop with a soft click. Midnight again. She stretched, rolling the tension from her shoulders, and glanced around the empty house.   Jake was away on business. Connor was at a sleepover.   It was just her.   And then—a sound.   A soft, deliberate thud from the garage.   Her pulse spiked. She sat still, listening, waiting. The house held its breath.   Another sound—this time a scrape, like something dragging across concrete.   Her heart hammered as she stood. Probably nothing. A box falling, the wind knocking over the broom—something harmless.   Still, she grabbed her phone and padded downstairs, flicking on the hallway light. The garage door loomed ahead.   She hesitated.   Then, hand trembling, she unlocked it and stepped into the cool, dimly lit space.   The scent of motor oil and dust filled her nose. Her car sat untouched. The shelves were undisturbed. Everything looked normal.   A sigh of relief left her lips—   And then the light went out.   Darkness swallowed her.   The shift in the air was immediate.   A presence.   Her breath hitched.   Before she could move, strong arms wrapped around her, yanking her back against a hard, unyielding chest. A gloved hand clamped over her mouth, stifling her scream.   Hot breath tickled her ear.   “Shhh,” a low, masculine voice murmured. “Don’t fight it.”   Her pulse slammed against her ribs.   She struggled, kicking, thrashing—but he was too strong.   A thick cloth pressed to her mouth, something sickly sweet invading her senses. Her limbs grew heavy. The world tilted.   Darkness.   She woke to a whisper against her skin.   The air was thick, warm, carrying the scent of something rich—cologne, leather, danger.   She stirred, wrists bound above her, ankles tied to the posts of a bed—his bed.   Her breath caught.   The room was dim, candlelit, casting flickering shadows against dark wooden walls.   And then—him.   A man, clad in all black, standing at the foot of the bed. A mask hid his face, smooth and featureless, but his presence was commanding.   Powerful.   He trailed a gloved hand down her leg, slow, possessive.   “I’ve been watching you, Olivia,” he murmured. “Waiting for the right moment.”   A shiver coursed through her.   She should be terrified. She was terrified. But beneath the fear, something darker stirred. Something she didn’t want to name.   He knew.   His fingers traced the delicate lace of her nightgown, teasing along the hem.   “I wonder,” he mused, voice velvety, “how long you’ll resist before you give in.”   She swallowed hard. “I—I won’t.”   He chuckled, low and knowing. “No?”   His hand moved higher.   Her breath hitched.   Her body betrayed her.   Heat pooled in her core, a flush rising to her skin.   He leaned closer, breath fanning over her lips. “Your body says otherwise.”   She turned her face away, but he caught her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze—though she couldn’t see his eyes, she felt his dominance.   “Tell me to stop,” he whispered.   She parted her lips—   But the words never came.   He hummed in approval. “That’s what I thought.”   And then his mouth was on her, claiming her.   Possessive. Insatiable.   A captor. A stranger. A master of her pleasure.   And she let him take her.   Over.   And over.   Until she forgot what it felt like to be free.  

Alaska is a beautiful Lady, she is a deadly bitch and She will kill you in a heartbeat.   If you don't understand what I'm going to say about Alaska, ask and I will explain.        What I'm looking for is life long commitment .      What I expect. you will respond to My voice.  you will let my voice control your mind. I will plant my words to trigger you.   My triggers will cause your body to react as conditioned.   I'm not hard core abusive but you will walk a fine line of constant excitement. Open your mind to me and I WILL put your pussy outside your body.    It's so tempting maintaining control. Giving your will to another is scary. Planting myself in your mind and triggering you where and when I want, such a rewarding experience. You'll slowly surrender to my voice. You never know when you're going to submit. When the proverbial rug of sanity will disappear under your foot, just it will happen.    My voice is stronger than you desire to disobey. When I speak, you wait expecting.  Your body will tremble.       Weather is getting cold here in Alaska.  Almost time for subbies and slaves taken to the Mountains.    Have your body stripped of warm clothing. Its so enjoyable to watch your face as your warm pussy is placed on a large rock at 40 below.      Should I bring some ice cubes to help the spreading of cold slowly clawing its way into your pussy.    Alaskan winters offer so much enjoyment.  I hope to enjoy this winter, how about you?    These are serious things to think about.  I'm telling you now what your end results with me look like. Can you handle knowing what you will look like when I finish playing with your mind      Can you live in that terror. Always expecting. Do I terrify you. Are you willing to give it all

If you are applying for a postion with us you need to keep in mind that each communication is part of the interview. So when we tell you to answer the 8 questions that can be found below in one of our other journal entries make sure to completely answer them all.  As we go through the process make sure you read our messages and answer completely and thoroughly all what is asked of you. In the end we go back and evealuate all of this before deciding if we think you are a good fit and serious about this.    Here is how our process goes. 1. You reach out to us first with a message introducing yourself, someimes we reach out to females we may be interested in and introduce ourselves and ask them if interested to do the same, either way you should be thorough in your answer. 2. Unless you read our profile and journals and answered the 8 questions, extra consideration if you did, we tell you to read everything ans answer the 8 questions. 3.. We ask you if you have any questions 4. we give you an email address for you to reply to so we can send you the house rules  5. You will review the house rules and ask any questions in them and once done decide if you are able and willing to live by them. 6. We give you and advanced questionaire to fill out and we ask any questions about it we need to know more about 7. We allow you to ask questions you may still need to know before deciding if you want this with us. 8. We decide if we want to try it with you and you do the same we exchange phone numbers voice verify each other 9. set up trial period 10. you do trial period and we discuss with you at end of it whether we are all in agreement to offer the position.  11. You get training collar for 6-12 months 12. Once we feel you are trained you get permanent colar.

pet store (1/3) you lead me into the pet store quietly, just smiling to yourself when i shiver from the cool air on my already wet pussy. you hold my hand as we walk through the store, but move to stand behind me when we get to the collars and leashes. you place your hands possessively on my hips and pull me back against you, enjoying the view down my top as my breathing speeds up. "it's time, baby," you whisper into my ear. "what kind of collar do you want?" i hadn't thought about helping you choose my collar. i had half expected to wake up one morning to find it around my throat, if i was being honest, and i was overwhelmed by the choices. i shake my head, and you feel the moment my trembling shifts from arousal to panic. you pull me closer and kiss the side of my throat. "you're not choosing," you remind me. "you're helping me, but this is not up to you." your voice is sterner now and i sink into it, letting you steady me. "clear?" "yes sir." you kiss me on the throat again, in a spot i know will soon be covered up by your collar, and i moan softly. "good girl," you murmur before letting me go. i watch you walk up the aisle before moving to the collection of leather collars. i lose track of you while i look through the rows of collars, touching the cool leather, feeling how supple or stiff they are, shaking them to see how much noise they make and how heavy they are. i turn back to you as you walk back down the aisle toward me. you pick up one of the training collars, a metal one with spikes on the inside, and hold it up, jangling it to make sure you have my attention. my breathing speeds up again and you laugh a little when i squeeze my thighs together and reach out to the wall of collars to steady myself, but you put it back on its shelf. "maybe next time," you tell me, and finish walking back to me. you reach out to touch the collar i was looking at with one hand, and the other slips under my skirt, trailing up and down the slickness coating my inner thighs. you trace those wet fingers over my lips and i greedily suck them into my mouth, moaning a little at the taste of us. you start to pull your hand away but i hold onto it, making sure i haven't missed anything and rocking my hips in time to my sucking. you laugh at my whine when you finally remove your fingers from my mouth. "such a desperate little thing you are, babe." you move to stand behind me, trapping me between your body and the wall of collars. "this one?" i don't know how your voice is completely steady, considering you have one hand under my skirt again and i can feel you getting hard. when you first brush against my pussy lips, i look around, making sure we're alone. "eyes ahead," you tell me, your fingers stroking up and down my wet cunt. "tell me why this one." "it's pretty. i like--" i stop, ging when your fingers find my clit. a light pinch from you brings me back. "i like that it looks delicate, light pink with little gold hearts." i'm trying to grind against your fingers now, but you keep them far enough away that i can't get any relief. "and?" i can't help the whine that escapes me when you slip two fingers inside me. i rock against your fingers as i continue. "i like the matching bracelet. i can wear that whenever i can't wear the actual collar. so i'm always collared. always yours." i barely squeeze it out before you're pulling your hand out from under my skirt and i whine louder. you step back and watch me as you bring your fingers to your mouth. i'm still braced against the wall, eyes closed, hips rocking against nothing. there's a trail of pussy juice dripping down my legs and i can't hold back all the little moans and whimpers. "look at you, my pathetic, wanton slut. we haven't even looked at leashes yet."

As those who choose to worship Me know, Goddess devotes Her Time, Her Energy, and Her Wisdom to slaves She selaspects.  This is part of Who Goddess is.  Growth for slaves is paramount. This necessarily takes effort.  In October, Goddess has selfishly focused only on Herself.  My Growth.  My Beauty. My Happiness.  My Pleasure.  Think of the absence of Goddess from this platform as simply an extension of locktober.  slaves are denied something even more pleasurable than orgasm.  They are denied Me.   Depsite this, four have shown the depth of their worship.  Praising Me.  sending Me energy.  Worshipping.  Such darlings.  Demon, Kitten, Anastasia, Bunny are seen and valued.  Rewards of worshipping Me even in My absence are tremendous as even non reciprocal worship gives you strength. others, Lexi, Butterfly, Lu, Kira have lives that have taken them on various paths apart from Me.  But still are valued, and are welcome in My Realm when their lives permit. a few have disappointed and could do better. those nervpus about approaching should do so.  I am glorious.  I will uplift you even as you sink into deep emotional and spiritual enslavement to Me.  I always want more souls and more energy. Sometime in November I shall return.  And provide health and joy to those worthy, but especially to those named. kisses, pets  

As the profile edit didn't pass inspection, here it is     This is not the profile of SensualOrgasmDom69. Please look elsewhere for that kind of thing       Fuck, I hate that this thing needs me to update my age       Lets get straight to the point. (and I added stuff!) (twice now) (scratch that, 3rd edit)        I am not a nice person. I am not here to find the love of my life.Least I don't think so, never say never.        I am not a ropes and floggers, leather and latex kind of person. This is not some bit of bedroom fun, but just who I am. Controlling, demanding, sadistic and generally uncaring when it suits me. I like to explore where others dare not, both with the body and mind.        What I am here to find is whatever takes my fancy. It could be easier to say what will not take my fancy. Demanding, princess types are certainly out, as are those who require a massive romance aspect. Sure I can offer affection when it suits me, but overall its not something that should be expected in bulk. Just something I can understand can be required much as a car requires an oil change every now and then. Heck, sometimes even I need that kind of downtime.       I am the kind that gives kink a bad name. I would happily take on one with poor self-esteem, not to "fix" them, but as a way of controlling them. Someone who will lower themselves to the level I desire, someone who can live without rights. I find interest in things normally unacceptable. I'm not that bothered about looks and such, I just want someone who will put up with whatever I throw at them.       I think D could be my favourite letter for what I want, downtrodden, dejected, dependant, desperate, doormat, perhaps even damaged. Even if you are not these, but want to be, or will be these at times, there could be opportunity.       I know what I seek is difficult to find, especially on a long-term basis, so I would perhaps consider other arrangements, chat only, occasionals, part-time and so on, although my preference is for something regular, on-going, something where there is time to build deeper trust, explore hidden alleyways of the minds, to actually learn each other.            I'm not likely to be on here much, it is very much a case of nothing ventured, nothing gained. However I do get mail notifications, so anyone who does decide to message me will be read soon after.       Totally single, can travel, can accommodate

Ok, here goes another journal entry, another step down this path… As always, I am subMeghan, and as required, as I type this this, I am completely nude, except for my dog collar and glasses… First things first. My Dom got a new toy for me.  It’s called a “cheek retractor dental mouth gag”.  Here’s a link to what they are: https://www.extremerestraints.com/cheek-retractor-dental-mouth-gag.html We’ve been trying it out this weekend and so far we are both really liking it…  a lot!  My Dom just loves, loves, loves how I look when I wear it.  I knew right away that he’d like it from the perspective of fucking my mouth, but he also is obsessed with me just wearing it. In fact I am wearing it right now as I type.  In fact, I’ve been wearing it around the house most of the weekend.  As far as gags go, all in all, it’s really comfortable.  Compared to some other types of gags, breathing is not an issue at all.  Drooling of course is unavoidable. And yes, I’ve got drool all over my chest. (My Dom loves to see me drool.)  I just need to make sure I don’t drool on the keyboard. lol This has all been part of a puppygirl weekend, which is something we do from time to time.  In a nutshell, I spend the entire weekend as a nude puppygirl, doing any number of puppygirl activities.  I get off on it which only makes the sex all the better. (Perhaps I’ll elaborate of that in a future journal entry.) Enunciating while trying to talk while wearing this gag is extremely difficult.  So I haven’t been saying much this weekend.  However, I can still make barking-like noises.  Lol  You literally cannot say “woof” or “bark” while wearing this gag.  I ended up going with an “arf” like noise... We ended the session about an hour ago and now I’m human again.  This will give me enough time to take care of all the weekend chores around the house. That’s about it for now.  I’ve got chores to do.  So, this is naked, drooling subMeghan signing off. Until next time... 

What is Y/your WHY? If You are familiar with the Simon Sinek video which You'll find easily enough on Utube he asks the question about what is your WHY.  The Why is what gets you out of bed in the morning, it's what motivates you and pushes you and keeps you constantly striving and pushing forward. I was thinking about that video again today because I feel like it's a good question to consider when figuring out where I belong in this lifestyle.  And simply put, I think that while I am searching for an Owner just like every other s-type here, I realize that what I am really seeking is my WHY or more specifically, that person who embodies my WHY.  I'm not seeking an Owner because of the kink or because of some fetish though those are certainly the spices of this lifestyle.  I'm seeking my Owner because I believe they will be the WHY in my life.  I don't think I currently, truly have a WHY. I think everyone wants to live a life of meaning and purpose.  I think everyone wants to matter.  I think everyone wants to know that when it's all said and done, there will be something they can look back upon and smile knowing that what they did made a difference. I have a good job, but it's just that, a job.  I've achieved professionally, but the truth is that my career has never been more to me than a means of paying the bills.  I don't have any kids.  I know a lot of people live for their kids but life didn't work out that way for me.  So what is my life for?  What is my WHY? I think that's what I am searching for here. I think my Owner will be my WHY.  I think They will be the reason i get out of bed smiling every morning.  I think that in surrendering to Them, I allow Them to direct and control my life in a way that pleases Them and give me a sense of purose, direction and that through my service, worship and obedience to Them, I am living a life of meaning.  A service sub or slave takes joy in pleasing, in washing every dish and scrubbing every floor for their Owner.  We take pride in our willingness to do whatever it takes to make Them happy and we are grateful to Them for every single thing They allow us to do in service to Them. It's why we want to say "Thank You," when we fetch that glass of water for You.  It's why we want to say "Thank You," after You've allowed us to pleasure You.  Or, why we say, "Thank You," when You deny us pleasure as a means of making You happy. There are certainly a lot of people who are only in this for the kink and fetish but I think there are a lot of us who are in this looking for our WHY too.  And our WHY is a person we get to please and in allowing us to do so, they give our lives meaning.  That's an extrordinary gift.  And the truth is no matter how much You demand of us, no matter how hard You work us, no matter how much You push us, we will never be able to repay You for that gift.  It's the difference between a life looked back upon with joy or with regret.  It's why wanting to own an s-type is an act of grace and benevolence.  

UPDATE: March 3, 2022 We are making our dream a reality. We purchased a nice chunk of acreage in NE AZ near the New Mexico border. The property is riddled with evergreen trees like Juniper and Oak with grass. Yes greenery! Views that seem to go on forever as you can see the skyline in the distance affording beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Adjoining our thousands of acres of state land so no worries about any neighbors there and also gives us a lot more land to play on. We have several trailers loaded with building materials, solar panels, water and septic tanks. Now its just a matter of moving things there and starting to build our Utopian Homestead. Our search for our third to join us is now being ramped up. What a wonderful treat it would be to have her join us and be part of it from the very beginning. Allowing her input on her cabin or room. Took one of the horses with me when I made the trip from Ohio to check the land out before purchasing it. I cannot even begin to share the incredible feeling inside as we traversed the property for two days. Checking out all the nook and crannies. Kicking up antelope and even a couple Mule Deer along with the many Jack Rabbits. Exhilaration filled my heart and mind as I enjoyed the beauty of reality as dreams are being fulfilled

I read this profile today and think its nearly perfect"   Hello slaves and Masters. Dom is looking for slave who knows that he/she was born to serve. Im looking for slave bois for permanent ownership. I will break you down. I will show you that your place in life is to serve and please me. I will degrade and discipline you. I wont stop until you truly believe you are shit and that you were destined to be mine. I will make you an my own personal property. Im looking for a live in , cleaning ,sex slave, dinner makeing, foot stool,  urinal, cumdumpster,  whipping post, slave  Im looking to humiliate abuse, degrade slaveboy for my pleasure.  Only interested in smooth, submissive, straight acting, slim bois who know that they are made to suffer, serve, obey, please, and commit accept any order from their Master. Absolutely every decision will be taken by Me, what the slave eats, drinks, when, where and how long it sleeps, what to wear should outside activity be granted, no social contact to others. I also do online training so slaves welcome.   Im also looking for disabled slaves and Masters, sissies   My rules are:   The proper way of things. i.e the way it will be   As My slave you have no rights; in fact you have nothing at all. You will take your place in  fully recognizing the truth of My Supremacy, My Superiority and your own lowly status.     You will obey My commands eagerly to the letter without questioning any of them and you will accept My authority and judgment of your servitude. My word is law and My whip is the implement of its enforcement. You will spend all your waking hours learning to exist exclusively for My pleasure, comfort, and glory and that of all masters . You will not allow your mind to wander even for a moment from Me and when it is not occupied in My service you will remember that all you do is at My whim and command. Even the basic privileges for you to eat and sleep, are mine to command.  Do not expect to be cared for in the normally accepted meaning. In My world you will be valued for what you are (a slave) provided your servitude is acceptable. Understand that it will never be perfect in My eyes. You are considered nothing more than an object of My property. You will never forget that you, as a slave, are merely My plaything, a work horse and toy existing only for My service, amusement and pleasure. In your role as My slave I need merely to look after your welfare. You will be kept fit for purpose.   From this moment you will be known as “slave”. If there are, at any times, more than one  slave present you will be known as “slave S” or simply “S”.   All of the following rules which are for guidance in your servitude to your superior will apply from henceforth. I will expect absolute adherence to these rules in every detail. Any failure on your part to follow the rules in every detail will result in punishment administered spontaneously or extended over a period of time determined by me.               Slave Rules          applicable to S, slave of master   RULE 1 I make the rules and can change them and add to them at any time   RULE 2 slave has no entitlement to discuss the rules or question them in any way.       Appearance   RULE 3 Nakedness for a slave is an overt sign that the slave owns nothing. slave will therefore never be permitted clothes in the house unless there are visitors who are unaware of its status and may be embarrassed.   RULE 4 If we have been away from the  home, on return slave will, after any other routine duties, immediately remove its clothes and kneel at my feet to await instructions.   RULE 5 The following (highlighted in red) will be worn at ALL times with the single exception of when passing through airport metal detection equipment.   a stainless steel collar. This will be permanently locked in place.   A thick stainless steel ring around the base of its cock and balls.   a stainless steel chastity device, 24/7/365. This will be locked in place.   stainless steel wrist and ankle cuffs..    Rings piercing Its nipples and penis head.   A chain between its nipple rings.   A heavy steel cock ring-butt plug combination, locked behind its chastity cage. (This will be worn for periods of up to 12 hours for anal training).   slave will be branded with My initial, such branding to be repeated yearly on its birthday.   slave will have its international slave registry number tattooed  at the back of its neck and on its buttocks.   RULE 6 slave will shower, shave its face, head, under arms and pubic area first thing daily.     RULE 7 slave will keep its whole body free from hair using an electric epilator.     BASIC RULES OF RESPECT   RULE 8 slave will treat all  masters as its superiors.   RULE 9 slave will address Me as ‘Master’ and all other  masters as ’Sir’.   RULE 10 In the presence of  masters slave will be on its knees unless carrying something or performing a task which requires it to stand.   RULE 11 slave’s eyes will be always lowered so that it looks only at its superiors’ feet.   RULE 12 slave will remain silent unless spoken to.   RULE 13 slave will never turn its back on a master.   RULE 14 If slave meets a master anywhere in the house whilst carrying out its duties it will immediately kneel, nose on the floor, until He has passed and is out of sight.   RULE 15 If I or any master enters the space where slave is working it will remain kneeling, position 2 until it is ordered to resume its work or carry out some other command or until I leave.     RULE 16 slave will accord all  masters the same respect as it accords Me   RULE 17 slave will obey all commands from  masters as if directed by Me   RULE 18 slave will beg permission to do anything that is not a direct order from me.     RULE 19 slave will

I was reminded of My father tonight.  Soon to be the tenth anniversary of his passing.  I miss him.  I miss his laughter and his guidance and his honesty.  I never did meet a more honest person and he is responsible for teaching Me what not lying, cheating or stealing means.  I remember when I was young, he said, "when someone takes from someone else, they are in essence saying that they deserve that thing more than the person whom they took it from."  Once put into that light, I realized I never deserved something more than another person.  I will work for it, I will fight for it, I will not deny another in order to have it for Myself.   He was full of wisdom.  He lived in the fast lane and caught fire.  When it burned it burned it all.  From the ashes, he resurrected himself and lived an honest life.  He loved Me enormously and told Me there was nothing I could not do.  I was born ready. Thank you daddy for giving Me the strength to be bold and to love deeply and for never EVER settling.  RIP

I had a conversation with a friend.  He reminded Me how powerfully dominant I am.  Also that most boys cannot handle what I offer.  i asked him who he thought would be right for Me.  I was amazed he captured him purrfectly.  I am looking for someone at least 50 and up, athletic, handsome, intelligent, needs someone like Me.  He will have his life together and can give us a happy life.  All he needs is Me, after all I am a rare find.  My Friends description is below: I dont see you interested in someone thats a wimp You want an Alpha to give himself to you, and do so completely He will only do that with YOU, not anyone elseYou want him to freely hand over his mind, orgasms, and serve your EVERY whimIn public he will simply appear to be the most doting mate on the planet, bit mentally he will be completely enslaved to you. You both love it this way and wouldnt want it any other way

i tried to make a post about lilith earlier like i did on reddit but this site ho'd me and didn't post it after posting it was already posted. oh well. trust me if you go on reddit or otherwise it's there.   I think I've mentioned it before on here that I am above average with astrology, but I'm not an astrologer. I've never been trained on how to actually read the charts, how to make the charts. I've never taken any classes on it. What I've learned is simply through grit and connecting with other novices and pulling together information. and just amalgamating slash being alchemical And bare bonesing it, you know, like raw dogging it. But as I've shared on my previous points. my intuition is like Doja cats lyrics. Trust me, I got magical foresight. so I might not have all the understanding in three D of the words, the vernacular, the structure, the format, the step by step to do things. especially with people that are more versed in these esoteric and magic school and mystery school or any of these long standing principles and all the stuff in the mystic spiritual magic world, right?   It's like the vibe of not being a pedigree, but being a scrappy, rough misfit. LOL.   So I know more than the average person about astrology, but in the world of astrologers, I know nothing.       I've been riding extremely about this balance and holding the line when it comes to how the. Michael male divine energy engages with the feminine. Sophia Divine feminine original source energy. And because in this life I'm alternative, I'm kinky. I'm. BDSM y. I'm polyamory. in a world where I was meant to be in the sauce and I was meant to be. physically engaging with people in a romantic sexual. real life kind of realm. categorizing myself in my past experiences. But before I came to realize I'm supposed to be more of a teacher and I'm not supposed to really hold that. because when you start holding that, you lose the higher perspective. You lose like the higher realm of it. right? but before I figured that out and I was trying to get lost in the sauce, I've always. expressed relating to the opposite sex in a very Non mainstream way. So it's like, as I continue to write the way that my divine feminine resonates on Earth is with the other alternative girls. I'm connected to the divine feminine with the dark goddess energy, with the bad babe energy. with the girlies who are with the mafia vibe, who are with the gangsters who are with the dominance, who are with the. people running the emotional, physical, mental, sexual. edge.   Just like cyberpunk. 2077. I'm with the edge runners. Not all women are like that. Most women aren't like that. Not all men are like that. A lot of men aren't like that. And in the spiritual world, I have found most of them are very love and light and asexual to begin with. So it's like the way. I'm channeling this message is for a very unique small subset of people. But even in the confusion and stuff, I know what I'm seeing. I know what I'm I'm supposed to write about. I know I'm supposed to say I know the message that I'm spreading even. if I don't necessarily know who I'm supposed to spread it to. I know I got the goods. Deep down. and even if these goods never turn into anything but these notes like I know that there's something magic going on. Hashtag being a projector, hashtag being a instinctual spleen at projector hashtag having the juxtaposition cross of assimilation bringing in crazy ass concepts that are forward thinking. so ka. so desu ne. Unrelated side note. Because I am an anime snob I do not like the digital animation and the styling. Of the I watched this show because I am deeply into the fandom. I literally not being facetious, but probably two years straight watching over 15 people play the game as much as. much as they completed it and I have never seen anyone complete the game. I saw one person on You Tube from Australia that was a lady get very close to completing the game but then felt pressured to do phantom liberty without finding all the side missions and side things and stopped to go to Phantom Liberty to appease her. fandom. but yes, I went very deep into this whole lore of cyberpunk. and so I felt I needed to watch this show in order to honor the essence of it and the message that this amazing franchise had and I Like I do most modern anime was slightly disappointed. Didn't feel much from it. Got a little bit from it, but a lot of people love how that style of medium of art is nowadays. And I'm on purpose, not on the same. not on the same vibe. I went to a club that was anime based. And I came across a younger guy. that was still an adult, obviously. But he said, I'm stuck in the past and I said yes on purpose. and he was like the 90s and I was like actually to be specific. I'm stuck in the 1970s to 2005 talking about bigger concepts like Leji matsumoso Galaxy Express 999. space operas. Tenchi muyo slayers. ah megumi sama sailor moon, serial experiments lain, neon genisis evangelion, even lighter stuff like mermaid melody pichi pichi, metropolsis the ova. When I look at something, I'm looking to learn to expand my soul, grow, get the channeled message. I'm not here for shits and giggles and fun. 99% of the time when I'm consuming, it's like I'm doing this as an unpaid job, like as a message. So this stuff nowadays that I've been introduced to does not have a message. So I do not relate to it. I'm a bad girly with a mission. And I'm very serious about it. And because I'm human, I might go astray. I might slip. I might fall, but I'm always straight back to the motherfucking mission in the day.   I'm always going to be talking about relationships and sexuality and spirituality and all that, because I've literally my entire adult life, have been wired that way. And I was. probably starting to get trained to do that when I was a minor in. probably more appropriate manners. and spirit. But I just been feeling like this message of unity on your sovereign path and not getting lost in the entanglement and the ties....passion....of sexuality and fleetingness of of. obsession and fixation and getting off track because of the pool of what the opposite person might do. And St true to you and like holding into that and seeing how so many women, especially because when you're on the edge, you're dealing with More intense chemicals in your body. You're dealing with more power play. You're dealing with it on a higher level than the average person. It's like I I've just been like talking about getting in the sauce and how it it leads to at least on the woman's side cause I'm a woman, then being down bad and their lives literally ruined like either physically, mentally, emotionally. Unfortunately, sometimes sexually, like that's the the gamble playing on the edge that when you fall, you fall harder than someone that's just totting the line. But because the dark goddesses are out there seeking truth on deeper depth and dark corners, they're willing to take that risk. I'm assuming, you know, you guys, I guess I'll call you dark gods. I have an awareness, but again, I just don't have a penis. I don't have that energetic masculine quality. I'm more of a panther. You guys are more like lions. Like III see it, but I just really can't tap into it. I can only observe. So I'm guessing same thing for y'all, but I can't say it from the core of my soul because that's just not what I was meant to do this time around. And a parmy hates to say stuff that isn't 100 percent confirmed. LOL. To the best of my confirmation at least, or to the best of my sourcing.   All this to say, my astrology hasn't gone to the level of looking at the transits or the. conjunctions. I know what they are. I can read when I see it on a chart, but it's not something I know how to make my own. It's

Hi there, I'm a 26-year-old submissive bi-sexual girly woman who is into BDSM. I'm currently looking for a long-term live-in relationship with someone who shares my interests and desires.   As a naturally submissive woman, I am eager to explore and learn about the dynamics of a submissive-dominate relationship. I am interested in experiencing the various ects of BDSM and exploring my own limits in a safe and respectful manner.   Ideally, I'm looking for a partner who is also bi-sexual and open to a polyamorous relationship. I believe in open and honest communication, and I value trust and respect above all else in a relationship.   When it comes to my dressing style, I love to wear feminine and flirty outfits that accentuate my curves. I'm a big fan of dresses, skirts, and high heels. I enjoy experimenting with different colors, patterns, and textures to create a unique and eye-catching look.   In terms of shoes, I have a particular fondness for high heels. I love the way they make me feel, and I find them to be both elegant and sexy. I have quite a collection of heels in different styles and colors, ranging from classic pumps to strappy sandals to chunky platform heels.   Of course, I also have a variety of other shoes for different occasions, such as flats, boots, and sneakers. But when it comes to dressing up, you can usually find me in a pair of sky-high heels that make me feel confident and glamorous.   As a submissive girl, I have had a range of experiences exploring my submissive side in BDSM relationships. I find that submitting to a dominant partner allows me to let go of control and experience a deep sense of trust and surrender.   In my previous relationships, I have explored a variety of BDSM practices, such as bondage, impact play, and power exchange dynamics. I enjoy experimenting with new techniques and pushing my limits in a safe and consensual way.   I have found that communication and trust are essential components of a healthy and fulfilling BDSM relationship. Open and honest communication allows me to express my desires and limits, while trust enables me to fully surrender to my dominant partner.   Overall, my experience as a submissive girl has been both challenging and rewarding. It has allowed me to explore new ects of my sexuality and develop a deeper understanding of my own desires and boundaries.   If you're interested in getting to know me and exploring our shared interests together, please feel free to connect with me. I'm excited to see where this journey takes us!  

I found the start of this made a few changes... A partial list of subby duties we are looking for... - Able to laugh, giggle, roll eyes, face palm or any combination thereof to my horrible jokes and bad puns.- Have a personality and brain of her own and able to give an opinion, respectfully of course.- Help in my efforts and quest for world domination.- Be an appreciated, non-imaginary friend who just enjoys being around.- Have quirks and perhaps a bit of crazy in the right doses.- Puts up with snuggles while watching a movie-or any time.- Suck, but not in a bad way.- Put up with being protected and adored.- Be sweet and innocent but oh so dirty.- Can handle being used for sexual teasing and Sensual Domination.- Who cries sometimes when she’s happy- Is willing to do a strip tease to the song “Itsy Bitsy Spider” while doing all the motions.- Who appreciates that sometimes Master just needs physical release and you are there for that.- Suffer through a nice candle light meal full of conversation.- Enjoy new adventures.- Who celebrates Master’s enjoyment whether she is the source or not  - Understand, put up with and even enjoy a bit of sarcasm.- Will be slightly embarrassed when I open the door for her.- Enjoys getting dressed up, and dressed down for her Dom.- Can enjoy breakfast for dinner.- Able to stand having her neck kissed for no other reason then it was within reach. Oh there will be lots of service, duties, kinks and sex too, but We wanted to mention the really important things first. So if you still have an interest, send a message -- we'd enjoy talking to you.

So many letters asking about the intro quote in my profile. Nope, it's not from a book. I wrote it. For all those who are asking, here's the full version:::   That sweet girl, with the world in her soul, the heart of it on her sleeve, tears like diamonds never shed for the pain of the world felt too sweetly. She holds it all, your dreams, your desires, and the ability to take your darkest fantasies and make them whole. She is strength of spirit, and her soul flies free above you. You can take her to arm, like a falcon coming to roost, but you will never tether this feather of sunlight. Yet, fragile is this creature. As if to say, all your words were glass in delicate hands. One false word, and the glass shatters, shards of bloody pain amidst her fragile fingers. Oh, speak you the truth, that her gentle hands stay soft and her eyes glow for you. Speak you the truth, that the world, your world, not shatter and leave her with glow extinguished. Rather let her fly, admiring the curve of her as she soars, knowing that it is to you she returns, that sweet girl, to let you glimpse the heart of it all deep within falcon green eyes."  by yourgirljoy 2022

The Yearning for Grounding: Finding Purpose in a Dominant Dynamic.. We all possess hidden desires, yearnings that often simmer beneath the surface of our carefully constructed personas. One such yearning, perhaps more common than we readily admit, is the desire to be truly seen, and subsequently, guided, challenged, and even, in a sense, controlled. This isn't necessarily about literal ownership, but rather a deep craving for structure, direction, and the secure boundaries offered by a strong, assertive presence.The idea of being objectified, used for amusement, might sound unsettling at first glance. But on deeper reflection, it can be interpreted as a desire to be a source of light and joy for someone else. To be valued, appreciated, even celebrated for what you bring to their life, even if that role is perceived as subservient. This isn't about self-degradation, but rather about finding fulfillment in serving a purpose, in bringing happiness to another.The reality of a superior mentor, a "Guiding Lady" as it were, nurturing and shaping your path, speaks to a fundamental human need for guidance and direction. In a world often characterized by ambiguity and overwhelming choices, the prospect of surrendering to a trusted individual who can provide clarity and purpose can be incredibly appealing. It's a desire to be molded, refined, and ultimately, helped to reach one's full potential. Finding such a person provides a safe haven, a space where vulnerability is not a weakness, but an opportunity for growth.The cornerstone of any such dynamic is trust. It's not merely about submission, but about placing your faith in someone who will act in your best interest, even if that means pushing you beyond your comfort zone. The hope lies in finding a true, committed partner who understands the nuances of this dynamic and can navigate it with integrity and respect. This requires open communication, clear boundaries, and a shared understanding of expectations and limitations.Ultimately, the yearning for a dominant guiding force speaks to a deeper desire for purpose and commitment. It's a search for meaning, for a role that feels authentic and fulfilling. It's about finding someone who can not only appreciate your offerings, but also help you to become the best version of yourself. This journey may involve vulnerability, introspection, and a willingness to surrender control, but the potential reward is a profound sense of belonging, purpose, and unwavering connection. The key lies in finding that "true trusted superior person" who can provide not just direction, but also unwavering support and unwavering faith in your potential.

Yes, I have been on this site for a bit. I am looking for the slave that is best to meet My desires. I am looking for long term and live in, when it happens. I do not expect instant match and move. I want any relocation to be permanent and good for both of Us. I hope you have watched the show Big Bang Theory. Living with Me is similar to living with the Sheldon character. At least in the aspect of I get what I want from a slave living with Me. If that isn't you then we will not work well together. I am open to one offs and play dates and such. So feel free to reach out for that also.

How Plucky Duck is an example of bad BDSM   Something that popped into my head this afternoon - Waaaaay back in 1992 there was a cartoon movie called Tiny Toons Adventure- How I spent my vacation. The trials and tribulations of Plucky Duck in that are the perfect way to describe many of the issues people run into with BDSM. (Stay with me here. I'm not nuts. At least not about this.) Upon hearing that his friend Hamilton Pig's family is headed to HappyWorldLand, he immediately throws himself at them until Hamilton asks if they can take him. They agree, and he hops into the car with them. Plucky then has a very long, unpleasant trip where he discovers that they have a very different idea of how a road trip should go. They don't use air conditioning because the dad says "it wastes gas" but they can't roll down the windows because mom says "people will think we can't afford air conditioning." They don't eat fast food, and offer to share the food they packed, but of course, it's not what he likes. They pick up a hitchhiker, and are oblivious to the radio reporting a dangerous homicidal maniac, and also oblivious to his trying to violently murder Plucky. And so on. When they get there, they don't ride rides- they stroll through the park, admiring everything, and stroll out, while he loses his mind about having taken this nightmare ride with no payoff. All of this is a perfect illustration of how people get into BDSM and then find themselves in terrible situations. Like Plucky, they didn't bother to do any fact finding or discussion beforehand, to find out if THEIR vision and definitions for the trip matched his. There was no meeting of minds or shared understanding of comforts, interests, etc. He didn't do any negotiation to make sure he got anything he wanted out of it. He didn't plan, at all, for how the the trip (session) would be supplied, or prepped for, or conducted during, or have a way out (safe word) to get him back home if he wasn't happy. He was too focused on what he wanted to bother finding out if the people he expected to provide it had an intention of doing so. Or if they even understood what he wanted to start with. They had a plan, they had prepped for that plan, they had a goal for it, and he begged to be part of it without asking a single question. And then he was unhappy the whole time. And the whole way back, one assumes, although they don't show that. Just his sulking to his friends after about how terrible his whole summer was, and how soured he was on the whole idea now. He did not do anything required to inform himself, but instead gave blanket uninformed consent to everything that happened after. And then he blamed them for how it went. I see this ALL the time played out by newbies to the lifestyle. They are so desperate to feel the way they think they will feel, and to get the experience they have seen in videos that they jump at the first thing that's offered without doing ANY of the boring, unsexy groundwork necessary ahead of time to make sure it fulfills that. They don't read anything, so they don't know the terminology that would allow them to understand what was being said to them. *Or not said.* They don't educate themselves so they know what questions to ask, or what to ask for when the opportunity presents itself. They don't learn how to spot a scammer, or a fraud, or an abuser. They don't practice safety and negotiation, so they get scammed, sometimes out of thousands of dollars. Or they get a session, with someone who talks a big game but has had limited or no actual education or experience themselves, leaving them with damage (which can be hard to explain in the emergency room.) Some of them even end up losing their homes, getting their paychecks sent to someone else's bank account while they live in servitude they never intended, with no money and no way out. Extreme example, but I've known people who had to literally drive to another state to help someone escape with just the clothes on their back. So many people say that talking/reading/educating yourself about it first "takes the fire/fun/passion out of it." Unfortunately, NOT talking/reading/doing the work up front to learn can literally take all the fun out of everything permanently. So much of what we do is borderline dangerous if not practiced by someone who's done all that work. If you don't know enough, you can't know if that amazingly sexy potential new someone is full of crap and will leave your hands numb and your junk non-functional for days, or months, or forever. (That's delicate equipment and its easy to wreck the hydraulics, yannow?) So TL/DR - you can't safely "learn by doing" in this, and failing to ask questions and discuss stuff can leave you with some horrifically bad experiences. Do the boring part so you can do the fun stuff for a long time.

Invocation of the Sacred Masculine     He is not only safe—He is stable, consistent, and emotionally intelligent.His presence is a shelter, not a storm.His steadiness calms the chaos in me. He holds me—In my spiritual depth,In my little space,In my adult power—without flinching, without fear.He meets every part of me and never turns away. He doesn’t just allow my surrender—He protaspects it like something sacred.He honors my trust as a gift, not a given.And in his arms, I remember:I am not too much. I am finally home.

Sexual ownership and use is a crucial part of what I look for and what I need. I know some look down on that, but I have my reasons. I am searching and seeking and hoping to find something I had a long time ago, a complete sense of ownership and sexual use with no say in how or when or why I was used. It was very, very sexual and I was completely at the whim of a stronger person who could take or do anything to me at any time. They did not take certain liberties, but they could have and they made sure I was very well aware of their power over me. Because that experience was the very thing that unlocked the door of servitude for me, sexuality and sex is a very crucial part  of what I need. I am not talking about my own gratification. If someone so chose, they could provide that, but that would totally be up to them. I am talking about their use of me...however THEY choose...to make THEM happy. When they are done, they can put me back in the closet, in a cage or where ever they choose. Female or male, black, white, hispanic, oriental...matters not to me as much as the opportunity to be used as an outlet for their sexual frustrations, pleasure, whatever they choose. Ask me about the experience and I will tell all about it. When I am contacted by a straight male dom, I'm never quite sure if I'm what they're looking for and often I am not. More often than not they're looking for "worker slaves" and while I am open to that and no stranger to working hard, it would not fulfill me as a slave to simply have that ect explored. Sound odd? It probably does....but my early, early experience left its mark on me forever.

  Momentarily distracted by his need to spill his bladder, he was now aware of leather cuffs being affixed to each wrist. The metal cuffs had started to chafe. A leather belt was locked to his waist and each wrist in turn was released from the metal restraint and re fastened to the waist belt on each side. More comfortable. He was pushed down to the floor and over on his back. The sensation of cold hard tile and his need for relief was flooding his brain. Deprived of sight and speech his awareness shrank. Leather ankle cuffs were locked on and fastened together as a hobble.   The socks were pulled off and with them, the last vestige of his former self.   Her gloved hands embraced the sides of his hood. Suddenly he could see again. Stunning. She was squatting over his face. Eye piece in hand. Again, her smell. The leather smell. The antiseptic smell of the floor. Sternly she commanded him to be obedient and explained that she would remove the gag on the condition he only speak when spoken to.   Nodding, the mouthpiece came off.   His urgent need was all he could think about. He squirmed in his restraints.   The return of his sight and the Glorious image above him aroused his cock to a shaft of steel. Involuntarily he thrust it up arching his back. Buttocks lifted off the floor.   She regained her standing position posture as erect as his now throbbing cock. She laughed. A low grunting sob gurgled from his lips. She smirked and curled her lips into a snarl. For the first time he took in his surroundings. It was a utility room connecting the garage with the rest of the house.     A shower of sorts with a head on a umbilical hose in one corner for cleaning things. There was a drain in the floor and he realized he was laying on it.  

HEAT Tossing and turning. I just can not seem to fall asleep! I am hot so I get up and take off my t shirt. I am lying back in bed with the light beaming off my clock.......I am not worried about the time cause I can stay in bed all day today.....I try to deflect my thoughts from this apparent hot flash.....I drag the sheet down and an instant sensation is felt as it flows over my nipples........my back arches in response and I become very moist from that simple act......I push the sheet down over my naval and let it drop between my thighs........OH MY it is hot! I am aroused and I am not sure why......no other thoughts are on my mind except for me thinking about my body.......I turn on my side and the moisture has flowed between my ass cheeks........I rub my bottom and as I slowly spread my cheeks.......my pussy starts to pulsate and the moisture is thick and very warm......I slide a finger between my cheeks and run it around my hole.......so warm, so moist....WOW  

Swim in the ocean, the sea of life, Bring me a masochist whose suffering eases my strife, Take the pain I give again on repeat, Bow to My will and massage my feet. Open the chapters of your mind and show me all, Melt to my wishes rise to my command not fall. How brave are you with your body to give my need? How will surrender to my sadistic Tiger to feed? Feed My Tiger How I tell you to give, Be water and mould like holes through a sieve. Melt into what I need you to be, simp and gracious addicted to me.

I read it but.... * I didn't really read the words I just looked at the pics * I didn't think when you said I had to be in the same country that you meant physically had to be * I didn't think when you said no one under 50 that you would not make an exception for me as I am very mature * I didn't think when you did not say to send the pic, I have of myself to you when I ask that you really didn't want to see the pic of myself.  * I didn't think you meant you would not give me a chance, after all, how can you resist me Well, I filled out my profile and made it as simple as I can so please don't think you can get me to play a game so you get what you want. Read my profile and respect it. I am happy to chat nothing more if you don't fit the bill. 

16 years I've been on this site, almost to the day.  Probably longer than that because I'm not sure this was my first profile.  And before that, I was on other similar sites all the way back to the beginning of the internet, and the old bulletin boards.  And before the internet, yes, I am that old, the bdsm magazines and underground classifieds.  I search, sometimes for years because I have very high standards and there are a lot of haystacks and very few needles in the bdsm world, until I find someone, then I go away.  Unfortunately none of those relationships have been forever, though they were each wonderful in their own way, and I guess I am blessed that each ended on good terms.  My last relationship ended 3 years ago.  I am here, on FL, a few other web sites, and on a bunch of the dating apps.  I have a lot to offer, both bdsm and vanilla.  No, I'm not a sugar daddy.  I'm happy to share.  Supporting a lazy deadbeat isn't in the cards.  If you don't have enough pride to contribute to your own lifestyle, you don't have enough pride to be with me.  I'm seeking a woman who is highly intelligent, who possesses and values integrity, is trustworthy and able to trust when her trust has been earned.  And of course, who desires a long term, real life, 24 7 relationship built around a core of bdsm.  Also should be at least a bit of a geek to insure we have vanilla interests in common. Everything else is negotiable.  You have my permission to contact me first if you think we might be compatible. Please be willing to video chat immediately for both of our safety.

Current state of mind i have been reminiscing on the choices i made and realizing i have allowed my fears and ego to stand in the way of pursuing my slavish needs. Once again i am in chastity 24/7, trying to feed my need for subjugation. The feeling of servility deepens with each passing day. Thoughts of absolute surrender fill my mind. my frustrations have me in a deep state of desperation and i am unclear on why this time chastity has affected me so deeply. As i look around, i find myself alone, void of any intimate contact.  This was not my intention, but it is a product of my choices.             i am trying to accept the predicament i have put myself into. As my servility deepens, i sense i am to be a slave to all, no exceptions. It is difficult to maintain a position of authority when my demeanor is becoming extremely subservient.  my chastity journey started as a curiosity. Then it became a way to fulfill my need for subjugation. Now it is my life. i am my own keyholder, yet i can’t unlock myself. It would be easy to do, but my psyche doesn’t allow it. It is like, i don’t have permission, but from who?             Dreams are a powerful influence.  my sleep has been restless, filled with dreams of my inadequacies and subjugation. The individual in my dream is familiar, the voice i recognize, but where? They know what to say and do to intensify my feeling of humbleness. They receive pleasure in watching me slowly slip closer to absolute subjugation. Dreams of subjugation continue to fill my sleep, everyday i wake up in a more slavish state. This has become a cruel spiral of emotions.  The more i attempt to feed my need for subjugation, the more my slavish desires intensify, which in turn creates a stronger need for subjugation.

8-23-2022 Tuesday night.. i took my shower, my daughter was over and left about 10 or 10 30 PM, i had started to feel chilled and for another blanket.. making for 3 blankets i had on top of me! After suffering so long, an hour or two, and developing a fever of 103.6 degrees. i decided i was not waiting until morning, hoping the fever may break overnight. EMS came, one of them ended up being a second cousin!! That was cool to meet a family member. They got me to the hospital s emergency room and i was kept there until 8 AM, i know this because i had to ask if i could get some breakfast while i was in the emergency room. i was diagnosed with an infection in my wound. For those that do not know.. i have two wounds on my back of my right thigh as the result of having lymphedema. The hospital did not say about becoming septic! That has happened, maybe four or more times, in the past. i stayed at the hospital until September 1st when they transferred me to a skilled nursing care facility for further wound care and therapy. i have not been updated with a tentative release date, yet. But it better come soon! my daughter is getting married next month on October 30th!!  Therapy is going very well, they are so happy with my progress. 

Good evening you beautiful, wicked, sharp eyed deviants. I’m writing about this in case some of you have not yet heard about this disgusting behavior, because silence is where predators thrive. A major investigation has exposed what many are calling an “online rape academy” hidden forums, chat groups, and websites where men allegedly trade advice on how to drug, assault, film, and violate their own partners while they sleep or are unconscious. Let that sink in. Not strangers in alleys. Not monsters in masks. Husbands. Boyfriends. Men sharing beds, homes, and trust. These spaces reportedly included users swapping tactics, selling so called “sleeping liquids,” sharing videos of abuse, and even livestreaming assaults for paying viewers. It is predatory, calculated, and evil using internet anonymity. Let me be crystal clear for those in kink and BDSM spacesthis is not BDSM. This is not dominance. This is not edgy play. BDSM and kink are built on a foundation of consent, negotiation, trust, communication, boundaries, and mutual respect. Without consent, it is not kinkit is abuse. And with some of the disgusting, vile profiles I have personally come across on FetLife, I am sure some people with those same mindsets are here too. Please be careful. Vet people thoroughly. Trust actions over words. Listen to your instincts. No scene, no dynamic, no amount of charm is worth your safety. Women are taught to fear the dark street, the lone walk home, the stranger behind them. But too often the danger is already inside the house, smiling over dinner, saying “I love you,” then treating consent like it’s optional. This is why consent matters. This is why believing survivors matters. This is why calling out misogyny, coercion, and “jokes” about assault matters. Because that culture feeds these places. If this is happening to you, or has happened to you, please reach out immediately. Call local authorities. Contact a sexual assault or domestic violence hotline. Tell someone you trust. You do not have to carry this alone, and help is available. I’m sharing this so more eyes are open, more people stay aware, and fewer predators get to hide in shadows. Spread this. Talk about it. Protect your people. Check in on your friends. If someone tells you something felt wrong, listen. To every predator hiding behind a keyboard your secrecy is cracking.Stay dangerous to systems that protect monsters. Stay soft with survivors. Stay loud when silence helps abusers. Myst

Old profile removed July 6, 2025 All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked. Yes, I know Collarspace's filters remove some punctuation. That's not what I am talking about. Three sentences, not one long run-on sentence.   I am a switch. I have not bottomed or submitted since 2016, but if you cannot handle your dominant or top taking the bottom side I am not the one for you. I am NOT looking for a dominant or top, hence identifying my profile as a domme. I do not reply to dominants or tops looking to dominate or top me.   I am polyamorous. I live with my wife Raine. She is aware of this profile and what I am looking for. She and I are play partners working back toward a power exchange that ended during the worst of the isolation because of COVID.   I am not looking for an Ms relationship or an Op relationship. If you self identify as a slave we are not compatible. I am not a female supremacist and I do not practice TPE.   If you are younger than 25 please do not apply.   What I AM looking for are local play partners, lovers, and or submissives. Local means in or around San Antonio. I am not looking for someone to relocate, move in with me, or play with me while they are visiting San Antonio.   My ideal submissive is service oriented and open to a variety of play styles and techniques, and open to trying new things. My ideal play partner has interest in multiple kinds of play and enjoys intense play and receiving pain.   Giving cunnilingus is a soft limit. Receiving cunnilingus is not high on my priorities list, although it can be lovely. I LOVE dildo play and fisting. I have reservations about strap-on harnesses.   If you are not in the San Antonio, TX area regularly, don't contact me as a potential submissive or play partner. I don't "play" online and I have no interest in choreographing elaborate scenes for you to act out on webcam to fulfill your fetishes. I am living my flesh life and I don't have time for an online life. Friendship and conversation are welcome, but no leading questions trying to get me to provide fap fodder.   My dance card is sometimes (over)full but that's the way I like it. There IS room in my life for a full time submissive should I come across one who is compatible with me.   The remainder of my profile remains intact from before:   I find minds sexy more often than I find bodies sexy, though I can certainly appreciate a sexy body! I love intelligence and learning, enjoy teaching what I know and learning from others, be they friend, lover, submissive, Dominant, switch, or myriad role identities.   I'm open to finding kinky friends who can hang out at home with or without play, play partners who share my interests, lovers, or submissives. Or all of the above. A poly pansexual service oriented submissive who likes edgy as well as everyday play, can take intense pain and get satisfaction from it, and wants to serve a BBW Domme would be great. ~Santa, here's my list, no, I'm not holding my breath.~   Micro e-mails are a pet peeve of mine. Write an e-mail with at least three sentences. But don't send me a novella either - it takes getting to know someone before I'm motivated to read something overly long. One or two paragraphs is great. You could tell me what you liked about my profile, why you are writing (friendship, submission, playing, learning?), tell me a little bit about yourself.   I'm looking for a submissive that gets fulfillment from both service and play. I'd like to find one whose mind and body both attract me. I want to find a submissive and/or play partner who loves to explore, who loves lots of kinds of play, who finds intensity and connection sexy and hot and gets a lot from the connection in a scene not just what type of play is being done. I want to find someone who is up for light spanking and tickle play one day, and a wicked caning another, who can handle flames licking across their skin and delight in it just as much as a tongue's caress. I want someone who can play light and silly as well as deep and intense, who can enjoy something as mundane as a spanking while still being open to trying hot, sexy, edgy, rough shit.   But it's not all about play. I want a submissive who gets along well with me, who is a delightful conversational partner, who is intelligent and sometimes witty. I would love to find a submissive who helps me with my flaws and supports me in my own goals as much as they work to improve themselves and make me proud they are mine, to be in my service. I want a submissive who is willing to help out, whether it is helping me fold laundry and dry dishes or brainstorming a website design. Gimme gimme! A submissive who loves to learn! A submissive who loves to serve! A submissive who loves to play! A submissive who loves letting go of control! A submissive who is self aware, practices self honesty, and communicates clearly! I'm not interested in someone whose ONLY interaction with me is for BDSM, or for play, or for sex. I want to find someone who can become a part of my life, who feels comfortable joining me for vanilla hangout time, sexy snuggle time, as well as kinky dress up and play time.   But that doesn't fully describe it either. I want to find someone who feels that submission is about more than doing chores or taking a good beating. Where is that mind hiding that WANTS to be told to do something disagreeable, because submitting is sometimes about doing what you DON'T like. A submissive who knows saying "I don't like that" is a way of giving me more control. That it doesn't mean I won't do it any more, it just means when I do it I will do it DELIBERATELY!! Are you out there, craving someone who isn't afraid to deny the things you like just to watch you squirm and make you beg for them? Where is the submissive who loves high protocol as well as casual time? Where is the submissive who can make offering to take my plate into the kitchen touch my heart? Where is the submissive who isn't ashamed to kiss my feet in front of friends, who wants to be the best they can be so that I can be proud to own them? Are you out there, unready to give everything to a stranger, but wanting to let go and give up control, incrementally, as trust develops?   Read my journal entries to learn a bit about me. This is long already, so I won't start trying to describe who I am, but if you'd like to know, ask and I'll probably answer.

I have not been writing much in this journal but hoping it might just perk someone's interest. I just moved back from Texas and now living in Northwest Indiana. About 20 minutes from downtown chicago and live in Schererville just across the Illinois border. I have been on this site for many years unsuccessfully and still hold out hope to finally achieve my goal of serving a strong, Dominant Woman. I can assure You am for real and today the first of Decmember once again spending another birthday allone. I am not evil, and have met some off the site which has not amounted to anything . I am on Fetlife under subndyer and started to branch to other  sites. I still hold out hope on this site. Am a single submissive which can be molded into a slave who has been off and on in the lifestyle for about 20 years. I have no children , no wife , girlfriend, hell dont even have a dog. But can assure You my loyality, respect, obedience, and You happiness is first priority. If I perk Your interest please drop me a line would not disappoint

Any MALE OR FEMALE who wants to contact Me about a submissive male  servant or dominant male whom they met online, and wonder if they are a MONUMENTAL GAME PLAYER, is free to contact Me.  Once verified , I will gladly share the information I have and possibly save you valuable time and energy. Well, well, well... A very deep and sometimes disturbing subject indeed! I've had the need to take some time off.  I've been duped and while it is hard to admit that a woman of My age and intellect has been bamboozeled, I'm comforted knowing that this type of thing happens to many of us, most especially when we are vulnerable due to life circumstances or state of mind and that I shall be wiser for the game played.   While undertaking the supreme challenge of finding a right sub for Myself, I happened upon the GREATEST ONLINE MINDFUCKER that ever was and I discovered he has been playing around here and Fet for over 14 plus years and at least 31 profiles on CollarSpace to date!!! VICTORY!  I finally was able to find them out though I must say I was led on a not-so-merry chase full of intrigue and suspense, aliens, judges, the government, medical organizations and secret societies! LOL  It takes all sorts. After all, I have to laugh at Myself and how vulnerable My state of mind must be to have gone down that rabbit hole. I would not change the knowledge gained through the experience though I am seriously butt sore. NEEDLESS TO SAY, ANY DOMINANT SLAVE OR SUB MAN READING THIS WILL PROVE YOURSELF OR PASS ME BY. I have a phone, pictures, telegraph, google chat, skype and every other possible means of communication and verification including but not limited to a car! We chat, we verify, we meet or part.  

  The pool party was in Royal OUak,  a very nice suburb of Houston.  I was admiring all the large homes with long driveways and manicured lawns.  When I arrived at the house, I pulled into the driveway and parked behind a Tesla.  I checked my face in the mirror and got out of my car.  I wore a black string bikini under a black cover up with a pair of wedges and some sunglasses.   I could hear voices, music and splashing on the other side of the privacy fence.  I opened the door and I looked around.  From my left was the back of the house that had a covered patio.  The large yard surrounded a big pool with lounge chairs and tables with umbrellas.  To the right was a tiki bar.  I headed there.   Heather called out to me , "Hey! I'm glad you made it.  Why don't you get a cocktail and chill? Bartender?  Give her whatever she wants." I smiled and asked for a hurricane.  Coming right up, he said.  I looked around and saw people enjoying the day.  Most were in or near the pool.  There was mostly a mixture of 20 and 30 somethings.  A group of four were sitting at a table enjoying a blunt.  I headed there.   Me, smiling:  Can I try? "Sure gorgeous" a handsome guy said and handed it to me.  "Hey are you that new girl I heard about?"  Me, smiling:  "Maybe!" Heather, waving to get my attention:  "Come here I want to introduce you to someone.". She led me towards the house as Jim and another man were emerging from the back.   Jim, looking at the other man:  This is the one I told you about."  This is Renee, he provides the financing for my movies. " Renee, smiling at me:  It's nice to meet you.  I heard you have a nice set of abs. May I see them? I opened my cover up and showed off my body.  I flexed my abs and instinctively did a bicep pose.   Renee, still smiling:  You have a very nice body.  Any tattoos?" Me:  "No, I'm all natural.". I glanced at Heather, smiling.   Jim, to me:  "Enjoy the party.  We'll talk later." And the two men walk back inside the house.   Heather, to me:  "Let's go swimming." And we spent the rest of the afternoon just partying and enjoying the pool.  Throughout the day I met other people in the movie business.  There was a black female actress.  A Latino male actor said hello.  I met a lighting guy, a sound guy, some grips, gaffers, a set manager, a camera man and an editor.  I had no idea what some of them did until they explained it to me.  No wonder films are so expensive.  Next, The Pitch  

Turn ons: good spelling and grammar, "your" instead of "ur," and a notion of what you, the prospective owner, have to offer. More on that last point. Your profile should somehow answer the question, "How will I make the slave's life better than it is now?" This site has slaves who are considering voluntary slavery, so you must make a pitch that would make them want to choose you. So many focus on their wish list: "You must be totally devoted to serving me, and have a job, and have no limits." Often that's the entire profile, though perhaps it ends with, "Contact me to learn more." How will you get a quality slave with a pitch like that? What will life with you be like? Can you make the case that you're worthy of trust? That your words are believable? Will life with you be in some way enriching? If you are unfamiliar, look up Maslow's Pyramid in Wikipedia. Is the slave's life with you going to provide more of the pyramid than they have now? If not, why would they it give up?

MUST be ok with a poly dynamic. I am NOT seeking a mono relationship from My side, but you may, as all of those under Me are, be mono to Me.  I do have other subs under Me. I'm a Domme, so it's to be expected. If you are not ok with that, please don't waste My time.  If you cannot read and understand EVERYTHING that I say in my profile or messages, don't bother.  If you cannot write in proper English sentences with the proper amount of fullstops and correct capitalization of everything except the word "i", don't waste my time!!!! If you send Me a message without a photo at least attached, DO NOT expect a reply back from Me. So, to all those wondering why I have not replied to you recently, that is your answer. Why? Apparently, you have failed one important step, to read My whole profile, including all journal entries!!   Requirement before you start seriously interacting with me:   MUST have Skype on your phone!! No exceptions!

Prospective slave's Friend Requests In My search for a total slave, I have had several make a "Friend" request of Me. I tire of explaining to each and every prospective pieces of chattel that I am not looking for a 'friend.' Indeed a slave of mine would never be a friend, buddy, lover or social equal of any kind. To illustrate, I explain that if I walked into a public Men's room and surveyed the line up of porcelain urinals I would not be looking for a 'friend.' Nor would I expect to treat any of the appliances like a lover. In fact if the prospective slave were kneeling with its mouth open in the line up of other urinals, I may choose to ignore it for any of a number of utilitarian reasons, like maybe its face was particularly filthy with urine, ejaculate or even human waste and covered with flys. And, speaking of human urinals, I do like to hear effusive gratitude for the slave's opportunity to be of service to a Better, but, a sign above it, if speech were impaired by say a spider gag, would work as well. Master James

So glad to finally be back. I have attempted to make an account and it wouldn't allow for it. I miss the CM days with the chat feature...I am finding it quite interesting that there are so many users, fellow Kinksters still remaining here for so long. Many of the new apps and sites are seemingly full of hook-up seekers. Not genuine Dominants.  If You read this, please note: I am not here for cyber and I am not looking to be collared overnight...this is a process and both parties MUST have needs filled. Thanks For Reading! 

I'm going to use an anecdote to give a little insight about what I like. It may be a little long but bear with me. I had a Dom/friend, he's in Arkansas now, we met at a party & his then GF was yelling at him & he was yelling at her. Was ruining the vibe so I told her to go upstairs, and took him outside. Went up stairs, chatted with her: She didn't like him talking to other girls. Stupid nagging problems. Went downstairs. Talked to him out in the alley. He didn't like that she slept with his friends when she was mad at him. Which sort of ticked me off. Anyway we chatted and he gave me an out of the blue kiss. Then next day all day sucking/fucking. He liked playing the XBox while getting head. Watching porn and getting head. And having someone to rub his feet, his back. I told him his ex GF was a bitch & the worst kind - the one who sends pics of her fucking to him. He did love her and It made me want to please and make him feel special. I told him he could do whatever he wanted with me. He liked being complimented and thought of. I like his build & personality. He had some kinks like enjoying being rimmed, choking, verbal and I was always open for him when he needed to fuck. I liked it when he sat on my face and made me eat his ass while he relaxed and even when he put his foot in my mouth and had me worship his feet. I enjoyed him being at a desk with me under it, soft cock in my mouth. It'll grow until it was ready to fuck my face then after he came it'll rest in my mouth until he was ready again. We became pretty good friends. Discreet fuck buddies the entire time since the crazy Ex was still around & we both liked no one knowing our business. He moved out to AK closer to family but we both had a great time and I enjoyed being there for him and making him feel like a King. I knew my place, he knew my place and we both knew his place. - 2017

AcadaMay CFNM Party Dates For years women have been sexually objectified in magazines, on social media and in daily life. But what happens when the rôles are reversed, what happens when the tables are turned and men are objectified by women? Most alternative events objectify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back!  If you wish to attend any of the events please do contact me here to be sent details about where to apply.  AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party When: Saturday 02 November Time: 4pm  AcadaMay CFNM Couples Tea Party When: Saturday 16th November Time: 4pm            

I've recently had the chance to think about TPE more, and I decided that there are ultimately four types, three of which I consider acceptable. In order of intensity, there is first the type, which is simply pushing past where a sub/slave would normall safeword, but not pushing so far that the subconcious is actually forced to acknowledge that they are not in control. This is a stage where a slave is usually begging or angry. The second is the type that I practice currently. Pushing past where people think their limit is, past the second limit where their subconscious gives and realizes that it can only endure, but not going past the last one. The one that makes the mind retreat and can cause trauma. I just brush up against it. The third is when someone deliberately breaks through that last barrier, repeatedly doing so in order to shape the slave into what they desire, using that shaping to subsume other desires and wants, to change who they are at the core level. This is acceptable when a Master has the time, will, and facilities to manage fully breaking a slave, and a slave has agreed beforehand. The last is just the territory of psychopaths, just breaking for the sake of breaking, to do as much damage as possible, and only for their own amusement.

Okay let's try this again.  Kicked off the month with the headlight. Not long after that I am pulling into a space at work and a wheel well cover thing falls off of my car. I've been driving around without it, no idea how important it is but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough. Follow that up with taking the trash out one night and the bin hitting and cracking the rear tail light of the car. Perfect.  Let's move beyond the car, shall we? I'm hosting all of my parents for Thanksgiving. For the week, really. I plan out a full menu, hit several stores for every ingredient. Buy a giant turkey so I can make things like turkey soup and turkey pot pie afterwards. Two days before T Day one parent gets covid. The next day another parent gets covid. They aren't coming. I'm down to one parent showing up and roughly four bajillion dollars worth of food. Sigh. But okay, their covid symptoms aren't too horrible and that's what really matters, so let's get back to me. I power through. Fancy Tuesday night dinner. Afterwards I brine the turkey. It's going great, I'm nearly done, just need to add a little more water to top it off. I turn to the sink to finish. And that's when the brine bag tipped over and a river of salty herbal apple cider rushed over and into every nearby surface. At 10:00 at night. There's a lake on the stove. I don't mean a splash of liquid, there's depth to it. A tsunami flowed over the stove, between the stove and counter, all over the counter, into drawers, down into cabinets, and onto the kitchen mats and the floor. Did I mention it's 10:00? Right. Thankfully the entire bag didn't tilt so I refill and hope for the best so I can start kitchen recovery. An hour and an entire roll of paper towels later, I have emptied full drawers into the sink, pulled the stove out to sop up brine and all the herbs down the sides of the stove and counter, washed the floor. And all I can do is laugh, because November is kicking my ass.  But wait, there's more. My dad is in charge of the pie. He brought some ingredients, can't find them, asks me to look through his things. Sure, I can do that. Unzip compartments to take a peek. What am I looking at? It doesn't fully register and I nearly put  my hand in to pull it out. Then it hits me. These are sex toys. Big fucking EW. Why would he not remember that there are things in a bag his daughter probably doesn't want to see? November is trying to kill me.  I met a man. He was interesting and I liked him more than I planned to. Besides being a nice person, we seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things, and that's rare for me. And then he disappeared. Then reappeared. Then disappeared again. I'm chalking it up to bad timing. Oddly enough, the most recent ex is sniffing around. A lot. I have no idea what to do with that.  If CS had not been hungry and eaten the original version, you would have also read about the work thing, the arguments with my dad, and my traitor dog. And there would have been comedy sprinkled throughout. But I'm tired. So this is a poor second attempt to document why November is the absolute worst and there are still several days left. I give up. November wins. 

Life has been quite the tumult lately, with my father's heart attack turning our world upside down. Amid the anxiety and the worry, the hospital visits, and the sleepless nights, I've been shouldering the responsibility of my father's shop of beautiful Indian dresses. It's been challenging, but also rewarding in a unique way, connecting me to my Indian roots and my father's passion. As if managing the shop and our home wasn't enough, I've also been grappling with my own emotional journey. As you know, Diary, my late husband introduced me to the world of BDSM, a journey we had just begun exploring together before his untimely passing. I've found solace and a sense of liberation in the dynamics, the play, and the trust required in such relationships. We had our own special names in our BDSM dynamic. He would call me his 'Cherished One', a name that symbolized his respect, love, and the care he took of me. In turn, I called him 'My Guardian', my protector, my guide in this new world. These names weren't just labels; they were expressions of our bond, our trust, and our shared journey into a world that was both thrilling and nurturing. Now that I'm ready to venture back into this world, I've been receiving messages from individuals and couples who are interested in exploring these dynamics with me. However, what I've noticed is that some of them resort to titles and names in their initial messages without establishing a rapport first. While I appreciate their interest, I firmly believe that such names and titles need to be built on a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and consent. Being addressed with a name that I haven't agreed to feels disrespectful and unsettling. So,,that's how life is going right now - a whirlwind of emotions, responsibilities, and new experiences. I'm still learning, still navigating my way through all this, trying to find a balance between my duties, my self-care, and my desires. Here's hoping the road ahead becomes a bit smoother.

 SteveCroxteth