Am I a monster? by Sintara » Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:21 pm I am a female sexual sadist. I spend hours on end fantasizing about torturing men. I don't hate men, I love them actually. The more I like them and the more I feel sexually attracted to them the more I want to hurt them. Nothing turns me on more than the whimpering sounds and wincing facial expressions they make or if they cry. I also find myself turned on if I see a guy limping. Its even more exciting to me to see other people who care about them feel sorry for them when they see the injuries they have later. I would love to be able to torture a guy and then send him home to a loved one and get to be a fly on the wall so that I could watch that person feeling bad for them and trying to help them.I obsess over CBT. My fantasies get pretty extreme. I know that there are many sexual sadists out there but I feel like a monster because my fantasies are so extreme. I feel guilty because despite feeling like a monster I also feel a strong desire to find a man who is masochistic enough to allow me to do these things to him. I try not to think about it but I can't stop. I can't get sexually aroused without picturing suffering men in my mind. I collect pictures of injured and tortured men to look at so that later I can have sex with my husband without him knowing how sick I am.I also have a blindness fetish. I would like to find someone who would agree to wear contacts that made them blind so that I could watch them try to make their way around without sight. I would also enjoy hurting them without them being able to see when it was coming. I might make him complete tasks for me blind so I could watch him struggle. With contacts instead of a blindfold I chould still fully see their facial expressions, which are very important to me. Then I would be aroused enough to have sex with them. I would want them to still wear the contacts during sex so I was in complete control.I'm so tortured by all of this because my husband called me a "sexual psychopath" and I have to hide it from him now. It has ruined our sex life. I'm addicted to it and don't know what to do. SintaraConsumer 4 Posts: 92Joined: Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:57 amLocal time: Wed Apr 20, 2022 12:37 pmBlog: View Blog (0)

Her hands held the pen, the black ink swirling across the page as she signed the contract. The last time she would ever see her real name, the last time her date of birth would even matter. She paused, holding her breath in her shuttering lungs… and as the seconds ticked by like years, her lung’s released and the chime rang. The electronic paper instantly sealed the contact and the encryption code saved to the nanochip.A metal arm came from the wall, and in a quick second her eyes blinked, and the chip engaged.She was still her, her personality, her smile, her spirit, but her body now belonged to the New American Order. She fought as long as she could, the price of housing and food had risen so high she was living so poorly. They had removed all unchipped teachers long ago, uncipped could not work jobs that paid in NAObitcoin. She could only get paid in paper money which only unchipped could spend. The black market was dangerous and she knew the consequences.The government now allowed people to elect to be chipped as household wifes. They would live a normal life, raising children, and making their families a unit, and thus rebuilding the community which once made this nation strong.She was a beautiful women, her long auburn hair landed in near perfect curls, her beautiful eyes could sink the universe. She held a PHD and would make an excellent home school teacher for a man who had a large family.She sat in the chair, gripping the skirt if the dress, and staring at the wall. A screen came on and the host started talking.“Gentlemen of the NAO tonight we have a wonderful selection of wives. They have all signed in willingly so there are no confinement rules for these women. Lets get started.”The door to her room opened and she stepped in to the hall. She took the step and closed her eyes, her sister got a nice man, they are so happy. She was going to have the same, she knew it.“First we have this beautiful older model, she will bare no children, but she is sweet and caring. She has a good voice, pleasant demeanor, tested level 9/10 in cooking and house keeping, she scored 10/10 in intellect. As you know gentlemen she will be tested for sexual abilities, her current rating in the outside was 4.6 so definitely above average but those chipless have no idea.”The door opened at the end of the hall, she walked quickly to the door, she had watched this millions if times on the tele. It had become required viewing but the poor only got to see the limited view, they put so many propaganda commercials in the show it was hard to really understand what was happening.The men in the room were all high class government officials, they were all men who had created the order, and their first wives were probably in work camps, or dead from the war. The rebels attacked their homes and wives, so many ran to other countries at the end of the war. Now other countries were turned to watch as NAO rebuilt and became the world leader of technology and education.The days of the starving poor was over, well as long as you chipped up. If you were a normie your life didnt change except you had no rent, no bills, but you worked for the government and ate what the government gave you. It wasnt a horrible life, you married in your class, and lived happy. The problem came with people like her. She was smart enough to live with out the system, pretty enough to be a wife, refined and well skilled, and her date rating put her on their radar.She only signed up to find a match, she was sick of her lonely home. They just started letting nochips on the site and she knew better!When her rating hit its highest the rent in her area went up, the power for vehicles tripled, food prices doubled. She got a speeding ticket and that was it… she couldn’t pay her rent… and there Lacy was, to offer her a spot in the highest ranked tv show in the History of the planet. It was required watching in the NAO and many international countries allowed their citizens to watch and participate, part of the new Jenniva treaty.So here she was, the room was black, the ceiling back, the bed and everything painted in the darkest black. She stepped to the door and the door behind her shut.“Remove your dress and precede to the bed.” The audience wouldnt see anything, its black, there is no light, but there are speakers and they can hear everything. She pulled her dress off and sat it next to the bed. She was stark naked, her large breasts we’re hanging from her, her body shivered as her hair tickled her back. She crouched down and lay down on the bed.“Place your right hand on the board. Place your left hand on the left board.” Her arms moved and then click the magnet locked, they had implanted her with magnets and chips throughout her body. The lights clicked off. For a second she could hear movement and then the headphones clapped down on her head. Hands ran down her body and the audience cheered as the meter stared to rise. His hands found her face and he pulled her in to a kiss, his tongue darting about and dancing with hers. His other hand found her pussy, and he clamped his hand down. The meter went to 1.0, and then his finger slipped inside, her body wetting for him, his head tilted, and his eyes flickered in to the darkness. “Ohhh a fun one.” He whispered in her ear. His fingers began working her clit and her body responded, he rubbed and twisted and pulled as she moaned loudly. Her chip holding her back from orgasm but leaving her right in the edge. He paused, and his mouth found her breasts which made her moan loudly again as the meter kept rising 3.0,4.0,7.0. The crowd started to whisper as no one had ever gotten higher than 8 and she was just starting. He pressed his cock against her, his large head pushing hard, as her rating went higher, and then he pushed in, hard. His huge cock filling her and pushing hard against the top of her as she moaned loudly, the harder he pushed the rougher he got the more she moaned and flooded him. Her hips moved with his, drawing him deeper, harder as she ground herself in to him. He reached up and put his hand on her neck, the default for allowing an orgasm during testing and she came. Her vagina pressed in on him pulsating hard as he continued to pound her, she came hard over and over moaning loudly. He stopped for a second and stepped back. “Turn over.” Her wrists released, and she flipped over, she had not had sex like this in years, she forgot it was anything other than a glorious night of love. He gripped her hips and pressed his cock in to her ass, as she arched her back and moaned out loudly. He started to work her ass slowly and then harder and harder pounding her hard. She shook as his hips hit her ass with a force she couldn’t believe. It almost took her breath how hard and good it felt. He reached up and grabbed her hair and held it tight slamming in to her harder, his other hand found her clit. He wouldn’t let her cum, he had decided now she didn't get anymore, they were all his. He pressed harder and harder, her body sweating and her breathing rough he continued, as he came he slapped her ass hard. The number blinked on the wall 8.7 highest first test score. The room blacked.. the commercial started, and men whispered among themselves.“I think i might have enough to purchasing that one.” A tall dark gentleman spoke. The room fell silent, as a bell rang which meant a second test was requested. The testing fee was not cheep, but someone needed to know her limit.Two men with night vision glasses came in and helped her straddle a round saw horse, her leg magnet locking in place, her wrists, she could no longer move.“Its time for the maximum orgasm test!” The host spoke in an over excited tone, his own body reacting to the sights. The lights turned off and above her head a digital board read 4.“According to the chip she has already orgasmed 4 times, remember folks the highest score ever is 70, in 2hours and 10 min. Once we start this test we will continue the auction.She was cold, but as soon as she felt it the sensation went away, the chip overriding the warning. A buzz starts in the background and her body starts to prepare, the sound of a milker clicking away behind her also made her body react. The buzz and tick tick take her in to a trance, and her body relaxes. He inserts a large 1 inch dildo inside if her, he clips the vibratior clamp on her clit as she lets out a loud yelp.“Mute her please.” The host says quietly. The man hits a button and her moans quiet and she starts to orgasm.“Oh no not yet kitten we aren’t even there yet.” His deep voice echoed in her ear, as thr command found its protocol, her body slowed the orgasm, and then liquid squirts on her ass as he presses in and works a large plug, its vibrations start to sink with the dildo. Her entire body clamped down, which only made the sensation stronger as she orgasmed hard. "oh yeah I should… release." as the word echoed in her empty mind the orgasms rushed in..10,11,12,13… her biometric system counting orgasm after orgasm.He smiled in to the dark as the goat milker cups attached to each breast and turned on low, then higher and higher, as it sucked her 38h breasts deep in to the glass, 22,23,26.He stood there watching with his night vision , his prize will be a percentage of her price, 30,31,32. He grabbed a flogger and whipped her ass hard, a flood of orgasms came in 41,43,44. He spanked her again, 50."Gentlemen our special purchase has hit 50! can you believe that? alright next is 35, rating 4.5, cooking 6 but comes with optional upgrade option, overall sex rating 8 with a maximum daily use 3 times… the bidding starts at her debt to the NAO of 100 Naobitcoins. Let the game begin. " the host pointed to the screen where bids were flying in from all over the world."The timer has started… bids are up to 2,000… 2,300… 3,2,1. 2,600 NAOBC… And your name is Cynthia. congratulations and may you live in the peace of your submission. " the audience said along with the host."now were are we at with our live test… 67 in 30 min, 68,69,70! she beat the record! She sucked breath in to her lungs as her body just kept going, she was dripping with sweat, her body begging for help, her moans muted her voice box turned off as she cameover and over. The machines clicked off her body shivered, and the chip took over, her hands and legs released as she stood, her brain not fully functioning. She walked to the bed her legs shaking and pulled her dress on. A door opened to a bathroom, an entire crew of beauty and glamor experts stood there. They had one commercial break to make her look fresh. She was pushed in to a shower the water spraying up and down on her in all directions. The water turned to warm air as she stepped from the shower dry and clean, the stockings slid on and clipped in to a pink and black garter. the corset top clipped in to place and then tied tight. her dress was slid over her head, and tightened down. Her hair was twisted and twirled and her makeup went on fast, a blinking light told the crew it was time.“Gentlemen it is time. How much would you pay? The time starts now…..” the     

Interestingly read something about how BDSM has been used to help people explore and heal traumas within in their lives.    Firstly it’s not something that would have sprung to mind but also a brilliant positive in relation to lifestyle and a deviation to the norms of Ds.    Of course this is not possible without complete trust in a Person to allow any kind of healing to happen. 

January 25, 2022 - My Leatherboy wants fucked.   It's been a while since I have written a story. Because of asthma and lung problems, I'll be honest, I hid out for quite some time during the beginning of the pandemic.   After I received my first two shots I became a little more active, and after the booster shot, things are starting to return to normal.  But we won't talk about the pandemic, because I always try to stay away from conversations on religion, politics, and now... The pandemic.   This story is about my leather boy who came for a visit.  He visited before but I didn't write the story.   In fact, if I'm not mistaken, on his second visit I took his virginity. This is his third visit.   We didn't waste much time after we got inside the house, he stripped naked almost immediately. I know how much he loves leather, the smell, the texture, even the taste as he licks my leather. So before heading upstairs to the bedroom, I grabbed my leather jock, which is actually a codpiece.   Once we got upstairs to the bedroom, I stripped down and handed him the codpiece and told him to put it on me. It is entirely made of leather, and the front of the codpiece is a flat piece of leather with a hole in it large enough to pop my cock and balls through. Then there is a leather waistband that snaps in the back. And finally an "up the ass crack" piece of leather that loops over the waistband.     He snapped all the leather pieces together around my waist with the bright silver snaps. Then looped the piece going up my ass crack over the waistband and snapped it in place also.   I turned around and handed him the pouch that snaps into place over my cock and balls. He snapped the bottom snap in place below my balls at my taint. Then after slightly and gently fondling the smooth soft leather, he gently pushed the pouch over my cock and balls and attach the two side snaps, one on each side of the base of my cock. My cock and balls are now almost completely hidden by the Leather pouch.   As he started to snap the first of the three across the top, the cock of my head was peeking out a little bit.  I stopped him, and unsnapped the two side snaps he had just completed.  My growing cock spring free, and I told him, "Why don't you suck on Daddy's cock for just a moment before you close it up."   He anxiously took my cock in his mouth and started to work on it. It felt wonderful, warm and wet. His tongue darting around my cock as it grew stiffer and stiffer. I knew he was enjoying the smell of the codpiece as well as the taste of my cock. I wouldn't be surprised if I was already starting to precum a bit at this point.   I let him suck my cock and lick my balls for a while and then told him to close it up. He reattached the two side snaps, stuffed my hard cock in the pouch as best he could, and then attached the three snaps across the top.   I told him to get in bed face down. He quickly complied of course. I grabbed a long soft rope from the table and walked back to the bed. I took his right wrist in my hand and put it behind his back. I think it surprised him a bit. I was a little bit aggressive at this point, maybe that's what surprised him.  Then I grabbed his left wrist and put it behind his back on top of his right wrist.   I started wrapping the soft rope around his wrists using a special technique that I had learned at CLAW quite a few years ago that keeps the rope from tightening around the wrist and cutting off blood flow. Eventually his hands were tightly secured behind his back.   I lubed up a couple fingers and started playing with his ass. I felt his hips push back against my fingers as they penetrated his tight hole. Deeper and deeper I pushed until I found his prostate. I started massaging his prostate which caused him to moan. I continued adding more lube and more fingers until he was nice and loosened up and relaxed.   I have a small dressing mirror on the wall that is positioned in the exact place so that if a boy looks to the right, he can see the reflection of his own ass as I work on it. I noticed that my leather boy kept turning his head to the right, I'm not sure if he was watching the scenario unfold in the mirror or just changing his head position.   I walked over to the table and got a very small string of anal beads. There are only four beads and are probably only 3/4 inch in diameter.  I wanted to leave something in his ass as I was planning my next move.   I pushed the first bead against his tight hole, and kept pushing until it popped inside his ass. As I started to push the second bead into him I felt him push his hips back to give me full access. He was enjoying the feeling as the second bead popped into him. I started to push the third bead up his ass but at the last moment decided to pull and tug so he could feel the second bead pop out. That only meant I had another opportunity to push that bead back in place where it belonged. Soon the third bead joined the first two in his warm lubed hole.  I pulled all three beads out just so I could start over again.   Occasionally his arms would move or jerk around as I would pop the beads in and out of his hole. This was accompanied by many soft moans slipping out of his lips.   After a bit of play all four beads were snuggly up his ass. With only the final Loop showing which would allow me to pull them out when I was done with my next task.   Although his hands were tied behind his back I told him to scoot down on the bed a bit. When he did, I climbed in near the top of the bed with my legs on each side of him, my cock near his face. I reached down and unsnapped the codpiece pulling it completely off. I laid it next to me on the bed because I knew I would be using it again soon, but for a different purpose.   Because his hands were tied behind his back, it was slightly difficult for him to lift his head to take my cock. So I grabbed his head on each side with my hands, lifted him up a little bit, and slid my body down a little closer.     He instinctively knew to open his mouth for my cock which was now in front of his face. I lowered his mouth onto my cock. Once again it felt wonderful. The muscles in his stomach were working overtime to allow him to bob up and down on my cock. And hopefully he could still feel the beads that were penetrating his ass. I know it was only a matter of time until those muscles started to wear out.    A few times I would pull him off my cock and push him onto my balls and let him lick and play with my balls with his tongue. Sometimes arching my back so he could look that area between my ass and my balls. It's one of my trigger spots, it really gets me going. I think I'm going to have to teach him to rim my nice clean ass sometime in the near future.   Occasionally using my hands on the size of his head I would force him deeper on to my cock, or if I felt he needed a breath of air, I would pull him off my cock so only the head of my cock was left in his mouth.  As I expected, after about 10 minutes of this position his stomach muscles were giving out.     He could no longer pull himself off my cock.  With no muscles to pull him off, his face fell forward, my cock finding its way to the

It is one of Goddess' greatest joy to bring love and light and support to Gender NonConforming Persons, and I define this quite broadly.  There are many who have approached and received My Blessint, and left changed, happier, through conversation with, worship of, and surrender to Me. It does not matter to Me whether a potential devotee is in the closet, limited in the way in which they can lead their most authentic life, just beginning their journey, at a crossroads, struggling, or in any way doubtful of themselves and their place.  These are not barriers or limitations for Me but part of a worshippers unique personhood.   Similarly, it does not matter to Me what your body is or is not.  The paradox is that as a GNC person you are unique and therefore beautiful, and will be seen as such, but also that you may have an image in your soul of WHO you are that also will be seen, recognized, and validated. It does not matter of you are shy or quiet or frisky or bratty.  Goddess will  identify the traits in you that She desires to mold and draw those from you. Many have felt My Blessing.  Become enriched and devote yourself to Me. Goddess  

The Show Doing a scene in front of a large crowd of people can be intimidating for the uninitiated.  Not for me.  Sometimes, however, a small group of people watching can be just as fun.  Over time, I began to not care how many are watching because I just wanted to do a scene and go home and have incredible sex.  I heard through the grapevine that one of my favorite dungeons was going to host the play party for a big leather convention in town.  Event parties are normally held at the hotel ballroom of the venue. And so it was a big deal that a local dungeon was chosen to host the play party.  The dungeon owners had a lot riding on the success of the event.  If successful, the convention would always have the play party there which made a lot of money on entrance fees. I normally skipped these parties because they never had the equipment I needed to do my scene and so  I was excited that they were going to have it at the dungeon instead.  I was looking forward to a big crowd.   A lot of my friends were going to the party and I was looking forward to seeing them as well.  Since CS has a character limit on journals, I’m going to post a series of journals describing the incredible scene I did that night.    So please stayed tuned. 

The everyday sized dick Dicks I remember - A (soon to be) collection of the dicks that have made an impression over the years.Here is one about my most recent boyfriend. Now ex.When we first met he had troubles keeping it up with a condom on. I made him practice and only allowed him to wank with one on until it wasn’t a problem. It would later come in handy as I could easily pour his cum where I pleased.

 In his ass, on his face.His cock was average. I came to enjoy it. Especially for tease and denial and long sessions. Fuck for a bit. Have him pause. Sometimes with a ruined. Or to be honest, most times. And then back at it at my pleasure. He could never make me sore, hence a good size for the everyday, several times a day.He knew that I needed something bigger and hotter from time to time though. And that my previous partners were well better equipped. We once scouted together at a sex club but none was big enough to pique my interest. I felt generous so I allowed a man to use my boyfriend’s mouth and ass though (a side dick to remember).I did really enjoy his obedience. He always needed my permission to orgasm. He did good except from one time when I rode him on a chair. We were in a communal space and I sat on his lap, back towards him. The view of my ass, the excitement from possibly getting ”caught” and me not slowing down made him cum hard and without permission. I think he felt equally ashamed and satisfied. I let it slip. I really wanted to be filled.

I'm sorry I'm too hard to love and own. I'm sorry I didn't make it easier. I'm sorry I didn't do better. I'm sorry I'm not a good slave. I'm sorry for what I said. I'm sorry I'm too neurospicy. I'm sorry I info dump and it made you feel like I didn't care about you. I'm sorry I couldn't get my head out of my own ass long enough to realize I was hurting you. I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough slave to make you want me for the long haul. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize that I'm selfish and only think of myself. I'm sorry for screwing up so much. I'm sorry for letting my fears and traumas win. I'm sorry I made a mess of things. I'm sorry I didn't keep my promises, my word. I'm sorry I made you not want talk to me anymore. I'm sorry I gave you so many reasons to doubt me. I'm sorry I made you stop believing in me. I'm sorry I couldn't be, do, or say the right things. I'm sorry I pushed you to the point where you're done with me. I'm sorry I took so much and didn't give nearly enough in return. I'm sorry for my mouthiness, my disrespect, my words. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to let go enough. I'm sorry I held back again. I'm sorry I ruined our forever. I'm sorry I made it easier not to talk to me, than I made it to be around me. I'm sorry I'm so exhausting and draining. I'm sorry I made you see me in all the ways I was afraid you eventually would. I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to embrace happiness with you. I'm sorry I became too much. I'm sorry I was clingy and needy. I'm sorry for causing the distance between us to expand rather than decrease. I'm sorry I fucked everything up. I'm sorry I couldn't get it right. I'm sorry I don't understand things like you do. I'm sorry I'm not logical enough. I'm sorry I'm too sensitive and too emotional. I'm sorry I took everything for granted. I'm sorry for becoming your problem, your stress, rather than your peace. I'm sorry I didn't focus enough on you and your needs and wants. I'm sorry I never learned my lessons. I'm sorry I info dumped and over shared too much. I'm sorry I couldn't get out of my head. I'm sorry for all of it. I'm sorry for every single thing that disappointed you and displeased you. I'm sorry I vented, complained, and bitched too much. I'm sorry for all of the whining I did. I'm sorry I wasted your time, your love, and your patience. I'm sorry for being difficult all of the time. I'm sorry I didn't show how grateful I am and how much I appreciate you. I'm sorry I didn't show how much you and our dynamic means to me. I'm sorry I chose misery and fighting you because it was more familiar to me than the healthy dynamic and love you offered and freely gave to me. I'm so sorry, Sir.

I have, in the past 6 months, been messaged by 2 different men who had something about raceplay in either their messages or in their profiles.  Allow me to be perfectly clear: any racial slur, race play, homophobic slur, misogyny, or domination from any aspect of supposed genetic superiority is a limit.  I grew up having various slurs directed towards myself, family, and friends and they are a quick way to have me block you. I mean the following in an honest and non judgemental way: if you have those desires, I would encourage you to look into your personal history and see why you have those desires or urges and honestly discuss them with a licensed professional.  It is often a product of internalized hatred towards yourself or others through no fault of your own.  Talking with a professional will help you to a much happier place where you can feel more comfortable with yourself and others. BUT, do not send me messages with any form of racial, transphobic, homophobic, or misogynistic slur in them.  It will lead to me immediately blocking you and reporting the message.  Having anything about race in your profile (other than your own) will result in a short message and me blocking you.  You are only harming yourself and it's a hard limit for me.  Consider this your one and only warning.

What I like about being a Bull Sometimes I am asked what I like about being a Bull with a cuckold couple. That is not an easy question to answer, but I’ll try. I’m a dominant person, and always have been. I like being the one in charge. So I naturally tend to find myself at the top of the food chain in every situation. When I’m with a couple there are several elements that appeal to me, which make the relationship more appealing than the traditional boyfriend & girlfriend. First, a married woman is in it for the sex. Her motivations are not unlike ours (men). She is not looking for a relationship (she has one). She is not looking for drama (she wants none). She will not hound you or stalk you or pester you like many single women. With a married woman it’s all about the sex. When you meet with her (or them) there will be little small talk, socializing or wasting time. Sex is on her mind, and it’s everyone's goal. Once her and your sexual cravings are satisfied she will go back home, with or to her husband. It’s perfect for someone like me who enjoys frequent, explosive sex with someone who is only too willing to provide it. So, my first answer is sex, sex and more sex. But there are other sides to it, too. Believe it or not I like helping other couples spice things up. I know Bulls are often painted as selfish, cock-wielding studs that are interested only in themselves, but that’s not usually the case. I, and others like me, enjoy interacting with couples and helping them reignite their flame in the bedroom. Like I mentioned, I am dominant and I enjoy the domination theme. It’s empowering to have a woman offer herself to me, especially when it’s a beautiful married woman who would normally be off-limits to anyone except her husband. Say what you want, but there is something edgy about hitting a pussy that was promised to someone else, especially when the wife is a stone cold fox, and someone you would NEVER suspect of being a submissive slut for another man behind closed doors. Last, I love being dominant over a couple in the husband's presence. There’s something deeply satisfying when I see a husband silently watch me ravage his wife in their marital bed, knowing that he’s getting off on the whole show. Most husbands I know are not submissive. However they do become extremely passive when I assert myself in their presence. Not only does this appeal to me, but I enjoy the wife’s reaction as well. The more passive the husband is the more sexually responsive the wife becomes, and that leads to even better sex. Once you have taken the time to build a good cuckold relationship with the right couple the encounters can become intense, fulfilling and practically addictive. What man would not want that?

I so dream of this too often.One day daddy comes home mad at the world and tells me to get his lube and plugs. I do as daddy asks and get them fast as a sissy in 6” locking heels can. I get back to daddy and he tells me to suck him hard, as I drop to my knees daddy Luber’s up my sissy hole and inserts the plugs starting with the smallest first. By the the time daddy gets the biggest plug into my sissy hole he says bend over the couch and spread your ass. Yes daddy I do as he asks and he hold my hands spreading my ass as he enters my lubed up sissy hole and madly fuck it deep 9” thick daddy tool. He fucks me for about an hour when he had filled me with his seed 4 times and decides to put the largest plug into my sissy hole and tells me to keep it there all night and only he removes it. Yes daddy as I said to daddy filled with his seed feeling full and used.It is the morning and daddy says it is time to remove your plug and get filled again, yes daddy I assume the position and spread my ass wide for daddy. He again grabs my hands and decides to cuff me to my thighs and fuck my sissy hole for hours filling me so many time I feel it leaking down my chastity cage. He finally done and the large plug again and I’m told to leave it in and stay there until daddy is ready again. Daddy seams more relaxed every time he fills my hole and plugs it in to ensure I’m properly bred by his seed. I look around and see he has been filming this and it is also live still filming. I’m embarrassed that daddy did not tell me about the cameras but I like it. Daddy is back and again breeds my sissy hole, he does this all weekend long and it is a Hilo day weekend, so daddy has a full three days to breed me and film it all.

When covid came about, i/we did everything we could to protect ourselves.   To this day we continue to do everything we can to protect ourselves.   My 1st bout with covid was due to my boss not having any sense   Running a fever stay away from people, he came to my desk.   I have had both vaccines and the booster.   Had i not taken another covid test would not have known i was positive.   Moral of the story:   Just because you are vaccinated you can still catch. I did not have any symptoms yet i was positive and could pass the virus to someone else.   Stay safe / stay healthy   i don't know about you; however, i am over it.

seeking a dom /Master who is seeking ultimateky a 24/7 slave to train, develop and mould into his perfect vision    i have many kinks and interests, and i can give you a high level view of them, they revolve around being controlled, humiliation, ification, enslavement etc    however at the core of it, i Like to please, entertain, and serve.    I'm based in London but willing to relocate. although there are somethings i maybe hesitant to do i Don't really believe in limits in a trusted D/s engagement. ultimatEly the slave will give up all rights and choices to her Master/Dom. ive Seen this called TPE amongst other things.      there is nothing really too extreme for me. And I'm keen to modify myself physically and my behaviours to please you.   i have some prior experience being a slave but looking for that sense of purpose, but also that sense of trust that comes from serving a genuine dom/Master       im A fan of the gor books and i think there's many principles that can be taken from the slavery they depict there, however I don't think it needs to be followed to the letter, but neither would it be bad if it did        Seeking TPE, chattel style ownership, 24/7 

I could Not update my profile without risking a long approval period, so I am updating here! my age is 47, not sure why that never updates. I am Heterosexual not pan sexual (not sure how that got changed). I am worth the time and effort, a one of a kind woman, who is not soon forgotten.  Looking for a male Dom in my area for real time. I am a sub, I will NOT send you dirty pics. Please be single and available, please be real, please be honest, please have your life together, as I do.  I am again looking for real time, would prefer a HOH type arrangement or relationship. Please be ready to verify who You are and meet within a reasonable timeframe! I am a loyal sub, I am kind and understanding, and mostly obedient ;).  I do not play games and expect you wouldn't want to either.  I like to travel, read, go to the beach, and write. I can hold a conversation. I hope you can as well!  I am passionate about this lifestyle and see it as a way of life, not a bedroom game.  thank you for looking at my profile! 

I’m funny, strong, sick and alone. I wear a sold-thick mask. Only i choose who will get to see my truth and when. Today and tonight are hard. I don’t like where I am or how I am. I feel desperate for dick for a, tongue even teeth. My neck is naked and breasts - nipples are tingling . Even fat there are places you can feel bones. My ass is high and wide easy to spread and enter. Go slow so we both feel you break through that first sphincter- oh so good, you’ll decide when to do that again. The feeling is pleasure but also demonstrates your power over me. Put me on my belly, lay me on my back, cl my hands and ride me like I’m a horse- hold me down whisper into my ear, bite my skin and enjoy me, long and hard, mmmm. By now my cunt has created a puddle of my juices. Lips are wide gapping open waiting to be entered, i moan as you hit my back wall and I clench as i cum and again. You hit my crevicx, oh my breath pushes out of me. I am cuming again and again. Vagina spasms over and over. I clench down and hold you. You look confused, i laugh and let you go. You turn me over and we kiss passionately you reach up and put a hand on my throat, a bit harder as i slip into subspace. You let go, my eyes are glassy and I smile slowly and quietly.  Mmm i pur. You turn me on my side, you insert a dildo into one hole and yourself into the other, fuck me until you cum - you stay a minute and the cum slides out of me as you do. We sleep facing and touching each other. What do you think?

I've been asked many times over the years, what is the difference between a submissive and a slave? One could say, by common definition, that is submissive, gives up control, but only within the constraints of the bedroom. The submissive can set limits, boundaries and more. So, it's not truly giving up control, but they giving up of limited control within certain areas, usually limited to strictly sexual. The slave, on the other hand, gives up all control at all times, both within and outside the bedroom. Her limits may be observed by her or his master or mistress. But, they don't have to be. Furthermore, giving up of control usually applies to all areas of life, not just strictly sexual. Still, that can be seen as a rather limited definition. if one truly wants to defined the difference between the two, it boils down to this. A submissive will give up control within the parameters of still satisfying her needs, wants and desires. A slave is able to sublimate her own needs, in order to put the needs of someone else before her own at all times. That's the big difference. A submissive may give up control, even total control, but only within the duration of a scene, or a particular situation. A slave not only gives up control, but puts the needs of her master before her own at all times. A submissive can always say, "Not tonight. I'm not feeling up to it." A slave has no such options. Her place and purpose is to put the needs and wants of her Master ahead of her own, and if Master decides that he wants to use his slave, it's her place as a slave to meet and even exceed his expectations. The problem is, with so many, having been raised with this being either fantasy or online role-play, combined with the Tinder culture expectation of "If this doesn't amuse me, I can just ghost him." It's becoming increasingly difficult to find those that truly have a slave mentality. So, those of you who are putting yourself out there as slaves, make sure that you understand the difference between submissives and slaves. Not only for your own benefit, but for the benefit of others as well. That way, no one's time is wasted, not expectations dashed and you'll be more successful at finding what it is you're truly looking for.

The dimly lit bar was filled with the usual Saturday night crowd, the air thick with the scent of spilled drinks and lingering perfumes. In the corner, a striking figure caught the eye of many, but few dared to approach. Rosalind, a voluptuous woman in her early forties with fiery red hair and piercing green eyes, was known for her domineering presence. She was a BBW with curves that could make any man weak at the knees, but her commanding aura was what truly set her apart. Across the room, a man named Thomas noticed her. He was tall, with short grey hair and a solid build, his eyes a soft brown that held a hint of timidity. He had been watching her for some time, his curiosity piqued by her confident demeanor. As if feeling his gaze, Rosalind turned to look at him, her lips curling into a slow, seductive smile. She raised her glass in a silent toast, beckoning him over with a flick of her wrist. Thomas hesitated for a moment before making his way to her table. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, his voice steadier than he felt. Rosalind leaned back in her chair, her eyes roaming over him appraisingly. "I might," she replied, her voice a low purr. "What makes you think I'd want your company?" Thomas swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. "Because I think you enjoy a challenge," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Rosalind chuckled, a sound like velvet. "You're right about that," she said, patting the seat next to her. "Sit." Over the next hour, they engaged in a battle of wits, their banter laced with innuendo and subtle flirtation. Rosalind was intrigued by Thomas's quiet strength, and Thomas was captivated by her boldness. As the night wore on, they found themselves drawn to each other, the sexual tension palpable. "I'm Rosalind," she said finally, extending her hand. Thomas took it, his fingers brushing against hers. "Thomas," he said, his voice hoarse. Rosalind's fingers lingered on his, her thumb tracing small circles on the back of his hand. "Tell me, Thomas," she said, her voice a whisper. "What are your fantasies?" Thomas hesitated, his breath hitching in his throat. "I... I enjoy being dominated," he admitted, his eyes meeting hers. "Being told what to do." Rosalind's smile widened, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "I see," she said. "And what about chastity? Ever thought about being locked up?" Thomas nodded, his cheeks flushing with desire. "Yes," he admitted. "I have." Rosalind's smile turned wicked. "Good," she said. "Because I have just the thing to make your fantasies a reality." Two weeks later, Thomas found himself in Rosalind's apartment, standing naked before her. She had taken him shopping for a chastity cage, a chrome device that now adorned his cock. He had been locked in it for days, the sensation of being caged driving him to the brink of madness. Rosalind looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on the device. "You look delicious," she said, her voice a low growl. "But I think it's time to take things up a notch." She turned to a table beside her, picking up a stubby black vibrator with spiral veins  that promised pleasure beyond imagination. She switched it on, the hum filling the room. Thomas's eyes widened, his cock straining against the cage. "Please," he begged, his voice a whimper. "Please let me cum." Rosalind chuckled, shaking her head. "Not yet," she said. "First, you need to earn it." She gestured to the bed, and Thomas eagerly climbed onto it, lying on his back. Rosalind knelt between his legs, her eyes locked onto his. She leaned forward, her breath hot on his cock, and slowly began to lick the length of it through the cage. Thomas moaned, his hips bucking against the restraint. "Shh," Rosalind whispered, her tongue tracing the tip of the cage. "Be quiet, or I'll have to gag you." Thomas nodded, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Rosalind smiled, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. She reached into a drawer beside the bed, pulling out a black ball gag. She fastened it around his head, silencing his moans. Thomas looked up at her, his eyes pleading. Rosalind chuckled, her fingers tracing the lines of his body. "Such a pretty sight," she murmured, her voice a low purr. "All mine to control." She leaned down, her lips brushing against his ear. "You're mine now, Thomas," she whispered. "Every part of you." Thomas nodded, his body shaking with desire. Rosalind smiled, her eyes gleaming with wicked intent. She stood up, her hand reaching for the vibrator. She turned it on, the hum filling the room once more. "Now," she said, her voice a low growl. "Let's see how well you can take this." She pressed the tip of the vibrator against his cock, the hum vibrating through the cage. Thomas moaned, his body shaking with the sensation. Rosalind pushed it harder, her eyes locked onto his. She could see the pleasure building in him, his body tensing with the need to cum. "Please," he begged, his voice muffled by the gag. "Please let me cum." Rosalind shook her head, her fingers tracing the lines of his body. "Not yet," she said. "You haven't earned it." She turned the vibrator up, the hum growing louder. Thomas's body shook, his cock straining against the cage. Rosalind could see the sweat beading on his forehead, the desperation in his eyes. She smiled, her fingers tightening around the vibrator. "Come on, Thomas," she murmured, her voice a low purr. "Take it. Take all of it." Thomas moaned, his body shaking with the effort. Rosalind could see the pleasure building in him, his body tensing with the need to cum. She smiled, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "Good boy," she said, her voice a low growl. "You're doing so well." She leaned down, her lips brushing against his ear. "Now," she whispered, her voice a low purr. "Let's see how well you can take this."

I had a long chat with an old friend of mine who is a seasoned Dom.  Very well known up north. Mentioned my most recent chat with a submissive man with a "tight balloon knot" was frustrating. Both of us had never heard the phrase but clearly a used term in the lifestyle. It was brought to my attention that submissive men go through alot of different relationships because even though they are submissive they want things a certain way. A little frustrated as I took their needs seriously but clearly they were not prepared for someone like me who was making a checklist of what they actually need from me. My family from the lifestyle did appreciate I am trying to be careful as you don't really know what other hidden knots a person has but I was trying my hardest to take things slow but seriously. In all fairness their was too much talk about the needs of his bum hole and less about my own bits so ladies enjoy your fish and chips with that one. C

I just made chocolate chip cookies topless. Here's what happened.  I'm on a health kick (the cookies aren't for me). The other night I made lentil bolognese and it called for red wine. Just a little. I'm not a wine drinker but I do cook with it. So, smidge of wine into the pot, cork the bottle. Google tells me I only have a few days to finish the bottle, but I can freeze the wine. Pull out a small ice cube tray, pour half the bottle in, stick it in the freezer. And I learned that wine takes a lot longer to freeze than water. I should have known this but I wasn't thinking. I pulled the tray out with the amount of force you would if it were ice. It wasn't ice. Wine all down the front of my shirt. Now, I'm already in the process of making cookies so what do I do? Whip off my shirt and rinse it under cold water to try to get the stain out. Do I go upstairs to get another shirt? Stay with me here, I know I'm topless. But no, I do not. I grab an apron and tie it on. These damn cookies better be delicious. 

The Lesson in the Red Chair T.L. Duncan He showed up trembling. Not from fear—at least, not the kind he admitted—but from the anticipation he’d been drowning in for weeks. Every message he sent dripped with eagerness, with that hungry little please he tried to hide behind politeness. I opened the door before he had a chance to knock twice. “Inside,” I told him. He obeyed instantly, the good ones always do. My living room was dim, lit only by the soft glow of the salt lamp and the single, deliberate spotlight shining down on the red leather chair in the center of the room. That chair wasn’t decorative. That chair was ritual.

 MistressSophinaM