(There is apparently a way to actually change the entire background color of a post: I have seen other users do it. All I can figure out to do is to use a different color "highlighter" to contrast against the font color. I guess it is essentally the same thing, but dang.) I got contacted by a man on FetLife who fits so many of my criteria that I'm actually tempted: lives one city over within 7 years of my age in an open relationship (he's separated ad casually dating) has a car He already has some chastity devices, and we have overlapping interests. We're sizing each other up, but he sounds eager to meet. eeeee!My only concern is his interest in "intox play," which Urban Dictionary defines as: short for intoxication play, It is a type of BDSM scene where one or both partners get intoxicated and have consensual sex. I put that one down as a hard limit: it's too easy to forget important things like negotiating safe-signals before someone is tied up and gagged. Not *cough* that I'd have any direct experience with that. *ahem* However, we have plans for a coffee date this week, so here's hoping. However, since the pandemic it's not like I've been a social butterfly, so if nothing else I'll get points for making the effort.  

I am tired.  I am wore slap out already.   Working 10- 12 hour days.. Six days a week and four hours the seventh.  It has gotten old very quickly while I wait for bosses to make decisions on who will be my next assistant without consideration from me.   The stress of work, the stress of house, has me completely blown out.  I collapse into exhausted sleep every evening now, while thoughts of work and how I will have the energy to get the most simple of things done at house that I need to get taken care of.   These are my days right now.   So forgive me if I get a little on edge when the word fun is thrown at me like a ball to my dog.  I dont have time for fun. I have a department to run.  I couldnt care less about fun.  I care about making it through the next day with hopefully a little less stress than the last.  I care about making it through my contract so I can get my rearend home where I will be happier.   Fun is good and all, but it is not the focus of my life.  It is not the focus of what I want in a relationship.   Sorry for the rant y'all.  I am just so tired of hearing... what are you doing fun tonight or well thats no fun.  Shaking my head.  I am beginning to detest that word with a passion.

So here's some more detail (and something to push down my previous whining about the site  ). My wife and I are both looking for our own play partners, so I guess you could call it an open relationship. She's looking for a friend with benefits, emphasis on "friend," as in somebody she could just as easily talk to about daily minutia as she would give him a blow job. I'm not looking for anything quite so equitable. I'm looking for someone who would indulge me in whatever my twisted mind comes up with, like exhibitionism and public play or breathplay or the "usual" spankings and other impact play. I do have some limits of my own, chiefly scat and blood. Also, even though I might want my slave to show a lot of skin and go without bra or panties while she's with me, I wouldn't insist she do that or anything else that might put her job at risk. Yes, I am definitely looking for in person contact at least once a week. My wife and I also have an agreement that we meet each other's play partners and basically vet them. It's not like we're conducting interrogations, it's just determining if we all get along and if there are any red flags.

Presently screening and vetting 43 prospective owners from US, UK, Australia.Two are former military.They are the first two it has gone to voice communication. Most presently.Building up trust is a very important before even a physical meeting to see if they truly know how to have a real slave.Its cautious after being in this Lifestyle for 37 years.And being a former Collarspace mentor and Collarspace admin.Dealt with far too many craziness and right nutters.

School for the Bi-curious   For those boys who need just a little ‘push’   BC101 Introduction to Bisexuality Course Overview   Course involves 5 classroom experiences, each dedicated to providing students with the training necessary to reach new levels of self-awareness. Each class is conducted by a lead femdom instructor and an assist femdom instructor. Instructors will be fully clothed unless decided otherwise. Below is an outline of each session along with learning goals and student assignments. Before the start of class   Students accepted into the program will be assigned a partner - a BC Buddy - deemed to be a good match based on a variety of factors including age, station in life, education, and personality. Students will be designated as either ‘heads’ or ‘tails’ to facilitate ive decisions involving student interactions. Two weeks prior to the start of class students will meet with their assigned instructor one-on-one to go over the syllabus and discuss expectations. In addition, students will be fitted for a chastity device to enable a two-week adjustment period prior to the beginning of class. Finally, students admitted to the program will be required to take an HIV test prior to the start of class. Overview of Classes   For each class, students will be given very explicit instructions in order to relieve participants the burden of decision-making. Prior to the beginning of class students will agree that all instructions will be followed without question and that the only talking allowed will be when directed by the lead instructor. Instructors will rotate each session between lead and assistant instructor roles.   I. Class One/Two A. Section A – Curriculum and Student Responsibilities Section A begins with students kneeling facing the lead instructor. The lead instructor will go over the syllabus so that students will understand their responsibilities. Below is a possible EXAMPLE text the lead instructor might use: “Both of you are here because we all know this is where you belong. It’s time for each of you to take the next step and as your instructors we will make sure you both graduate this program. Now on to the curriculum. Today one of you will learn, through a guided approach, the oral technique outlined in your syllabus. Next week the roles will be reversed and the process repeated. Of course, a man is not fully bisexual until he has experienced having another man’s cock in his ass. Classes three and four will follow a similar format with each student experiencing anal penetration from another man. Our fifth and final session will be the graduation ceremony where students will be guided through a demonstration of your newly learned skills. The graduation ceremony culminates in what we refer to here as ‘popping the bubbly’. Each student will be required to swallow a load of their partner’s cum. There may be other instructor interns present at the graduation as deemed appropriate. Students will be graded on their enthusiasm and mid-term grades will be provided by the end of session 2. The student with the highest grade will be rewarded by being allowed to decided who will be the bottom for session number 3. Disciplinary recommendations are spread throughout the curriculum. The assistant instructor for the day will be responsible for determining student disciplinary actions which will be carried out by the students themselves. This is a recommendation only. The institute believes students should hold each other accountable. In addition, such activity helps students further understand their own role better. Finally, most of our instructors enjoy watching and learning more about the disciplinary process. NOTE: Since students are graded on enthusiasm, disciplinary actions are expected to be as harsh as ordered by the instructors.  B. Section B – Disrobing and Genital Familiarity Section B begins with students standing face-to-face in front of the seated lead instructor. The instructor will toss a coin to determine which student will have their clothing removed by their partner first. Upon selection instructor will guide each student in removing the clothing of their BC Buddy making sure that the individual who’s clothing is being removed does not assist.  Once complete, fully disrobed students will be required to kneel side-by-side facing the lead Instructor and begin masturbating slowly as directed in order to begin the arousal process. This will be referred to throughout the semester as the ‘ready’ position. Students will be required to maintain arousal throughout each session. Next students will be required to shave each other’s genitals as directed by their instructor. A coin will be tossed, and one student will prepare a bowl of warm water while the other retrieves several beach towels to be laid on the floor in front of the instructor. The instructor will then guide each student through the process which will include lathering up the entire region, massaging the cock throughout, and holding on to the cock so all areas can be shaved. Once complete students will be required to assume the ‘ready’ position. This activity serves a dual purpose. First, students will become familiar with the genital region of their BC Buddy through a slow, directed process. In addition, shaved genitals greatly enhance sensitivity further supporting advancement through the process. Upon completion the assistant instructor will examine the shaved genitalia. Any evidence of unshaved sections will require discipline. RECOMMENDATION: 5 cane strokes delivered while bent over a chair in the middle of the room. Assistant instructor will count off strokes while the student receiving the strokes will say thank you after each stroke. The lead instructor will instructor the student to deliver the strokes with increasing severity whereby the fifth and final stroke is very harsh. Students will be reminded constantly that they are being graded on their enthusiasm. B. Section B - Beginning Oral Techniques As students kneel before their instructor in the ready position, a coin will be tossed to determine which student will be the first to learn a basic oral technique designed by institute instructors and sanctioned as the fundamental oral method of the institute. Once designated the student will remain kneeling and the subject will stand facing the student.  The student will be required to take the subject cock into to his hand and hold it against his tummy while being guided by then instructor to lick the shaft up and down. This will continue until the instructor expands the service area to include the balls. Student will continue the slow and purposeful licking of the shaft and balls of the subject in a slow and deliberate manner being constantly encouraged by the lead instructor. The instructor will then direct the student to guide the head of the cock into the students mouth, very briefly, for the first time. Offering supporting comments like, “doesn’t it feel good to finally have a cock in your mouth?” or “don’t be shy. These activities are designed to take you where you want and need to go.”. Of course, the student is reminded that he will be graded on his enthusiasm and attitude. Instructor will hand the student a pacifier and instructing him to suck on the pacifier like he was a little baby. He will be told th

Since adding journal entries won't cause my profile to need re-approval, I'm adding this after reading some of the profiles on the site.   I'm looking for trans Dommes or switches. No men or women unless you're exceptional, sorry, I've been attracted to trans women since 2011 (I was bisexual then). I'm not looking for sub trans girls because being a Domme doesn't really come naturally to me. I can be a Domme for sure, have been for years since it's so hard to find Dommes of both the trans and cis types. I also met too many subs and was interested in cyber RPs a lot then. Not so much anymore unless you're really good, because my tastes have changed over 15 years.   I very rarely chat to couples though I used to meet good ones on Reddit. Maybe 1 so far. It depends on if you're sincerely interested in trans girls or sissies.   I like watching gangbang and reverse gangbang porn, but probaby won't do it IRL. Not even a sissy orgy which I dream about so often. Fantasies and reality should be separate. I want someone exclusive in general, and please don't contact me if you're part of or looking for a poly household. Couples or being part of a throuple (a third wheel, not a fourth), will be very rare if at all and I'd probably be looking for my own lover anyway even if I was part of one, so you might be better off contacting someone who's poly.   I watch cuckold and cuckquean porn, and it'll be most likely a polite no if you're interested in acting out those things IRL. I don't mind acting as the occasional sissy cuck who cleans up a woman after she gets a huge fat cock, or maybe as the trans bull in some situations. Depends on what mood the three of us are in. I also do think of cuckqueaning trans or cis women sometimes, such as tying them up and making them watch me with a younger or sexier chick with bigger tits and an arse. That said, those RPs will probably be for hookups only, and I'd avoid them in general. I don't want to get into a relationship and destroy it with either type of cucking, though if you have strong fantasies about it, we can roleplay it anytime. For example, with dildos, fleshlights, body forms, etc.    If you're a cuckoldress or a polyandrous hotwife/polygamous couple/polygynous Dom, please avoid contacting me unless you understand that no matter what, I won't be completely submissive to you forever or a 'perfect cuckold'. I could be in the bedroom during the RP and Dom if you ask me to have sloppy seconds later, but I won't be exclusive to you at all or a complete slave, unless you can devote yourself to me as a Domme in the exact same way.    I prefer gentle, caring Mommy Dommes instead of heartless and cruel bitch Dommes, though I don't mind some sadistic and humiliating or hurtful RPs if you enjoy them too. I just want a Domme to serve who isn't selfish and all about herself, which seems to be most of them. A Domme is slightly more in charge of the relationship than her sub, but it doesn't mean she ignores and disregards her sub's feelings. Think of the dynamic in the same way as a male Dom who has to take care of his sub as well even if he dominates her, or else she'll find someone else.   If you didn't take note of this in my previous journal entries, please don't contact me at all if you're a pro Domme or expect any sort of tributes and dumb contracts to be signed which only benefit you. I've seen them all and IDC in the slightest about paying to act as if I'm being cared for. Some of you are disappointed in what you find online and IRL, and I don't really blame you because most subs and Dom/mes aren't very good at what they claim to do. It's very frustrating to put in efforts for your relationships or dates and find someone who half-arses it. I get it, but your previous disappointments have nothing to do with me, and vice versa. I've had enough people contact me on here and other social media explaining that a Domme needs tribute to show obedience and that you feel you've wasted enough time putting in efforts for useless subs. It's a joke and a pretty laughable reason. I've heard of enough pseudo-Dommes who ask for money and then vanish without giving a promised video or RP, or the ones who realize that it can be a very easy cash grab and pretend to be exclusive while contacting a million subs to get money up front, and then release nothing or piss-poor quality content. I don't see why my money should go to a user or liar, and I probably have no reason to trust people more than they trust me. We can just keep it mutually beneficial and respectful without exchanging money or false promises, and if that doesn't work out, we move on.   Happy hunting, all.

The Lesson in the Red Chair (part one) T.L. Duncan He showed up trembling. Not from fear—at least, not the kind he admitted—but from the anticipation he’d been drowning in for weeks. Every message he sent dripped with eagerness, with that hungry little please he tried to hide behind politeness. I opened the door before he had a chance to knock twice. “Inside,” I told him. He obeyed instantly, the good ones always do. My living room was dim, lit only by the soft glow of the salt lamp and the single, deliberate spotlight shining down on the red leather chair in the center of the room. That chair wasn’t decorative. That chair was ritual. “Shoes off.” He complied. “Phone on the table.” Another instant reaction. Good. His training hadn’t even begun and he already understood offering control. I circled him slowly, letting silence do the work. The air between us tightened when I brushed a strand of hair behind his ear—not to comfort him, but to claim space. His breath hitched, and that was when I knew: he’d fall beautifully. I stopped in front of him. “You said you wanted structure,” I said. “Discipline. To feel owned for one hour.” His gaze dropped to the floor. “Yes, Ma’am.” “Look at me.” He obeyed again, the word Ma’am still warm in the air. I placed a finger under his chin. “Then you’ll start by kneeling.” He sank to the floor so fast I almost laughed. Not cruelly—just with the quiet satisfaction of someone who has seen this dance a thousand times and still enjoys every second. “Knees apart. Hands behind your back. Shoulders straight.” He adjusted three times before he got it right. Nervous boys forget how their bodies work when they’re desperate. I walked behind him, lifted his hair, and inspected the vulnerable line of his neck. “So sensitive,” I murmured. “If I pressed my thumb here, you’d melt.” He swallowed hard. I didn’t touch him yet. Not physically. Instead, I moved to the red chair, sat down, and crossed my legs with deliberate slowness. “Crawl.” He hesitated, only for a breath. Then he placed his palms on the floor and moved toward me like he’d been waiting his whole life to be commanded that way. His breath shook with every inch he traveled. When he reached the foot of the chair, he stopped and waited. “Good,” I said, letting the approval slide over him like warm oil. “Now put your head on my knee.” He rested his cheek against my thigh as if it were a pillow he’d spent years searching for. His exhale was a confession. I stroked his hair once—reward, not affection. “You crave rules because the world expaspects you to be strong,” I said softly. “But here, strength is mine. Obedience is yours.” “Yes, Ma’am…” “And you take direction beautifully. That’s why I chose you for tonight.” His whole body trembled. I slipped my fingers into his hair and pulled his head back—not harsh, not gentle, but precise. His lips parted, surprise and need blending into something addictive. “There are three things you’re going to learn,” I told him. “One: listen when I speak. Two: obey the first time. Three…” I leaned in, my breath barely brushing his ear. “Never make me repeat myself unless you want consequences.” A shiver shot through him so sharp it might as well have been an orgasm. I smiled. “Now,” I said, loosening my hand but not releasing him. “Your lesson begins.” His head was still in my lap when I slid my hand from his hair to the back of his neck. He froze. Not from fear—no, he was far past that—but from the realization that he had no idea what would happen next. Good. Uncertainty is the first tool of sensory play. “Hands flat on your thighs,” I instructed. His palms landed instantly, but I tapped one with a single finger. “Softer. You’re not bracing for impact. You’re waiting for permission.” He corrected himself. Obedient. Attentive. Hungry. I reached to the side table, slowly enough that he heard my bracelets shift but not fast enough to interpret the sound. His breathing changed—shorter, quicker—as his imagination sprinted ahead of me. Let it. The first thing I picked up was the silk scarf. Not to blindfold him. Not yet. I simply let the fabric glide across his forearm. He inhaled sharply. “Too sensitive?” I teased. “No, Ma’am. Just… unexpected.” “Good. That’s the point.” I drew the silk back, then traced the same path with my fingertip—cooler, firmer, more precise. His skin twitched under the contrast. “Tell me what you feel,” I said. “Soft… then colder. Like my body’s trying to guess you before you touch me.” “Your body doesn’t get to guess. It gets to react.” He shivered, a subtle ripple that traveled from shoulder to knee. I reached again—this time to the small wooden wand, smooth on one end, textured on the other. I let him hear it roll across my palm. His breath caught; he recognized the sound but couldn’t place it. Perfect. I touched his wrist with the cool, rounded end. He sucked in a breath. Then I flipped it and dragged the textured side down the same line. He gasped—quiet, but the kind of sound a man makes when his brain can’t decide between pleasure and restraint. “Overwhelming?” I asked, lifting his chin with the wand. “Yes, Ma’am…” “Too much?” “No, Ma’am. More.” “Then you’ll stay still for it.” He nodded, and I rewarded him by letting the wand trail up his inner arm—slow, deliberate, circling closer to the bend of his elbow. He swallowed. He always swallowed when he was fighting the urge to

Hello.  Hi.  You happened by my profile.  I think I'm just an average woman who happens to not shy away from searching out what she desires.  Am I a sub?  Yes.  Am I a slut?  Yes I am that as well.  I happen to also have a slightly masochistic streak in me.  I am many other things but those are fairly irrelevant within the context of my purposes here.   I am real and sincere about what I seek.  I wonder if that's common?  Oh wait.  It's not that many aren't real or sincere they just seek attention and other things. Not actual experiences in real time.  Some do but many don't.  Which you find in droves both with women and men.  So I typically reply to those who have similar goals in being here. Have I been a sub before?  To be clear sexually I am naturally submissive and yes I've had a couple doms over the years.  A role I treasured because it is so difficult to find the right dom.   The right dom for me craves control.  Not the micro managing kind.  Not old school types with a bunch of rules and routines ahd (shudder) honorifics.  One who recognizes I am a fully capable woman who simply enjoys allowing you to use me to enjoy your own selfish and perverted proclivities. One that seems strangely foreign to men.  That's how it appears at least. My interests or what I will do are so vast.  There are certainly things I won't as well.  Your best approach is to simply share what you desire.  I won't demonize you for your desires.  I just may not always be the right person for them.  Keep in mind if you don't have any or cannot share them you don't need me.  Lol. Also the more basic and common they are to me signal too safe of a reply.   I have to run for now.  I'll add more later.        

Dear Diary Tonight, the air is electric, charged with the power of MY presence. As the moonlight bathes MY skin, I feel the pulse of the universe within ME. Every beat echoes with the knowledge that I AM the embodiment of strength, beauty, and authority. To MY devoted submissives, know this: when you serve ME, you are not just serving a woman—you are serving a force of nature. Your obedience is the tribute you offer to the divine energy that flows through ME. Each task I set before you is a test, a ritual that draws you closer to the essence of your purpose: to please and honour your GODDESS. When you kneel before ME, you are not just submitting your body, but your soul. Your surrender is sacred, a powerful exchange that binds you to ME in ways deeper than flesh. In your submission, you find liberation. In your obedience, you discover the true meaning of devotion. Remember, MY desires are not just commands; they are opportunities for you to prove your worthiness. Every whisper of MY voice, every glance from MY eyes, is a call to action—a call to show ME the depth of your loyalty and the extent of your adoration. So, listen closely, MY devoted ones. The night is ours, and in its darkness, your true nature will be revealed. Serve ME well, and you will find the fulfilment that only the Black Goddess can offer. BLACK GODDESS 

I have now collared and own NJ Slave1010. It worships me without exception and without question. I have erased most thoughts from its mind, so all it knows is worshipping me, adoring me, thinking about me. I have inserted certain words in its head. So when It reads them or hears them or says them Its’ slave worm, which is now mine, goes to instant erection in honor of me. Only I can grant what is now mine release, not it anymore. And it suffers deeply for me has declared its undying slave love to me.. If any other slaves would love to be my slave and fall deeply in love with me. writing slave love letters to me. Then you can contact me here. You will worship me, adore me, and obey me. I will also instill a bouffant and salon fetish in you where you worship the bouffant Women Having their hair styled in exotic, full, thick. Updo bouffant hairdos and rollers or under dryers like the goddesses they deserve to be. This also goes for CDs who are into this also, I would love to have you worship me getting your hair done in large exotic hairdos under dryers and in large rollers for me.

December 9,2023 - Coaches first visit       First visit with "The Coach" today. I'm not sure, but I think the Coach is the closest thing to a completely straight guy that I've had visit me in a quite a while.   I seem to attract the bisexual guys who are dominant in their work but desire to be submissive to another male. And I think that was the case today.   Coach and I messaged on FetLife for a while, determining what he wanted and what his limits were. Then we set up a time for his first visit. It was going to be just after he had coached a game, so I was sure he would have a good mix of testosterone and adrenaline for his first visit.   The time wasn't exact since he didn't know when the game would finish. Around the time expected, he messaged me to let me know he was going to be on his way soon. I kicked back and watched some porn until his arrival.   Being his first visit, I met him in the driveway so he knew he had the correct house. I was wearing my long brown hooded bathrobe. His mind was probably already racing wondering what, if anything, that I was wearing under the housecoat.   We came inside and took a seat and instructed him to strip. As we had previously discussed as he stripped each article of clothing off he folded them neatly by his shoes next to the door.   He had a nice physique and I knew we were going to be having some fun. He was wearing a small cock cage. It appeared he was already straining against it. I remembered that I had instructed him to wear the cock cage during the game. I didn't verify if he has followed directions, or had put it on after the game. I walked over to the couch and grabbed two velcro wrist restraints. I grabbed one of his wrists and extended his arm and attached the velcros cuff. Then the other wrist, as I wrapped the velcro restraint making sure both cuffs were secured around his wrists. Then I retrieved a dog collar from the couch and put it around his neck. This at first, but then I loosened it a notch or two so it was fairly loose. I had plans, and wanted it a bit loose, almost comfortable. But I wanted him to remember, while he was here, he was property. A sub for my use.   Although I had warmed the house a bit, as I wrapped my arms around him from behind him and played with his nipples, I felt him quiver. I'm sure it was a combination of fear and anticipation causing him to quiver, not the temperature of the room.   Normally and make notes when someone leaves, but during today's visit I forgot. So my memory might not be 100% accurate on our activities since I'm writing this story over a week later.   Normally at this point, I sit back in my rocking chair and have they guy suck my cock for a while, but I remember that didn't happen today. And honestly, I don't remember why. Either something we had talked about, or something in my mind cause me to change things and we headed straight upstairs.   When we got up to the bedroom stripped the bathroom off. I was completely naked. I laid back on the bed and told him to come over between my legs and suck my cock. Without hesitation he climbed on the bed and latched on to my cock.   Although one part of me thinks that he is 99% straight, good Lord was he a great cocksucker. It makes me wonder if I'm correct or not. But during the conversations on Fetlife, that was the impression I had. But now that his mouth was on my cock, I was questioning my assumption.   I'm not sure what the hell he was doing with his tongue on my cock but it was incredible. Something about the combination of sucking and swirling and licking at the same time was great. In fact, it was too good. It had been a week or so since I had hooked up with someone and this felt so good, I felt that I could orgasm at any moment. So I told him to lick my balls.   Although I enjoy having a guy lick my balls, in this case the main reason I was having him lick my balls was to prevent me from having an orgasm. How sad would it be for him to arrive and not more than 5 or 10 minutes later have an orgasm and send him on his way.   So he licked at my balls for a while as I raised my right leg putting my knee in the air to give him greater access to my balls and taint. He was good at that also, but not as good as his cock sucking skills. Soon using both of my hands on the sides of his head, I lifted him off my balls and lowered him onto my cock again. The feeling was sensational. I just remembered that I kept murmuring, "oh fuck, oh fuck that feels great."   I grabbed his head and started pushing him deeper onto my cock. He gagged which made me chuckle. I think I growled something like, "oh yeah choke on Daddy's cock."   Part of the time I watched him bob up and down on my cock, part of the time I just threw my own head back enjoying the moment. I looked down and could see his cute bubble butt over his shoulders which only made my cock harder. I was planning to fuck that ass before he left tonight.   I wrapped my right leg over his shoulder onto his back. That just pulled him down onto my cock a bit more. With my hands on the back of his head and my right leg over his back I could force him onto my cock until his chin rubbed my balls. He was choking on my cock, completely under my control, completely submissive, doing exactly what I was telling him to do. I was giving him the fantasy that he was wanting.   I remember being quite verbal that day. Repeatedly calling him… daddy's little cocksucker, calling him… a good little fagot, but at the same time rewarding him by telling him what a good job he was doing sucking cock. Each time he choked I would give him a compliment like, "good Boyyyyyyyy" dragging the work out like I was rewarding a family dog. I watched as his head continued to bob up and down on my cock.   He would deep throat my cock until it was all the way in the back of his throat, then he would pull almost completely off and suck hard on just the head of my cock, swirling his tongue around, poking his tongue in my piss slit, then go back to deepthroating and choking again.   But now I had reached my threshold of my orgasm. If I can keep from orgasming past the first 5 or 10 minutes, I'm usually good for an hour. I'm not quite sure what that is, but once I passed that 10 minute mark I'm good for a while. And at this point, I was past my mark.   I started getting a little more rough with him. I reached down and grab the collar and gave it a bit of a twist, tightening it on his neck. Simultaneously I pulled the collar down, pulling him onto my cock. This did a bit of breath control, or breath restriction, while he continued to suck my cock.   I kept the color twisted until his body language was telling me he was at his limit on breath control. So I released the collar and I just laid back on the bed enjoying whatever in the fuck he was doing with his tongue. Oh my God, it was incredible.   I remember him repositioning himself, I think to get up on his elbows a bit. He slid his hands under my legs almost cupping my butt cheeks whereas before they had been on top of my legs, his forearms almost resting on my chest toward my nipples. Now that his upper arms were under my legs, I took the advantage and raised both of my legs onto his back. I crossed my legs locking them and behind his back squeezed his head between my legs.   With my hands, I forced him deep onto my cock. Then I tightened the squeeze of my legs holding him in place. No longer

I understand that this may sound bizarre to some folks, but I have an idea regarding the slow turnaround time for getting a profile updated here: only update your profile when you're considering taking a break from the site. Check your profile: what age does it list you as? If you haven't joined within the past year, it's probably not your current age. Rather than requesting a birthdate, CollarSpace asks us for our age. To keep an accurate profile, we'd have to edit it once a year. If you're taking a break anyway, maybe adjust your age to one year into the future - or however long your breaks from this site usually take - so that it has a chance of being accurate upon your return. Look at your photos: do you still look like that? Has your hair, body shape, or anything else changed at all? Before putting your profile on hiatus, consider updating your photos to be current. What about your location? Have you moved? Are you planning to move? Why not update that as well? Will your profile be perfectly accurate upon your return? Maybe, maybe not. Will it be much more accurate than it would be if you left it alone? Almost certainly, and you wouldn't have had to get grumpy about the wait. 

A small respite is coming, but it wont last long then it will be back to OT and I will watch my summer disappear.   Little heads up to anyone who may even remotely care.  Folks need to grow up.  If you are not into a person, then dont lead them on only to just poof one day with no explaination.   I will not be the one to text first normally.  Nor will I be up all night chatting.  My sleep schedule just does not permit it.  If you truly are interested, then make sure I know it.  Dont think if your coming for a visit, you will be staying with me.  Not happening like that.  We have a little hotel just up the road.  I wont be putting miles on my Jeep traveling a thousand miles unless I am headed home.   Often times I wonder why I even log in any more.  I have people who just dont get my job or schedule that comes with it right now.  They dont gr that I just am not a huggy cuddly person.  Even to the point of telling me "but your a woman".  What does that have to do with the price of biscuits?  I like my alone time just as much as I enjoy good company.  My traditional upbringing often wars with the lifestyle.  My geographical culture shock wars with where I really am from.   And people ask why I am so guarded.  What is the point of opening up and feeling anything for someone only for them to just disappear?  So if we talk for an extended period and I am just not emotional, sorry but not sorry.  I wont continue to live that shit.

So journals are back! Giggity! I remain frustrated in seeking out anyone who can discipline me, use me in whatever way they wish and break down my barriers by simply forcing me to confront them. Where would I like to be tonight? I would love to be between the legs of a dominant, serving them...servicing them, swallowing what they want me to swallow, sucking what they would have me suck, licking what they tell me to lick. All night... And when they were sated, satisfied and had used me in exactly the way they wanted, they could reward me...or they could choose not to. They could give me release...or they could refuse. They could drive me right to the edge, or they could put me away with nothing until they were ready to have me again. They would be completely in control. Their satisfaction would be my goal and my reward their choice. It could be a woman...it could be a man (a man would be a new experience and another barrier broken down. I do not care...it's not mine to care, only to lick, suck, swallow and bend over.

I love being in a good place: Loving my response to a nosey kinkster:Have had 2 monogamous unions with 2 kinky odd balls I have had to put the odd balls back in the fish tankPersonally in a good place, received awards for my service literally, networking, working on my health and wellbeing, great hair, jogging again to loose some weight but average size so easy tone up and my bum looks great already just chiseling around average meat so all goodHey, my response is pretty chilled I must beI am sure you are knee deep in honest pussy all the bestC      

DOMINANT WOMEN BEWARE! Well, Mr. Beenhere25yearsandf*ckingwithdominantwomen contacted Me again.  I have a feeling he has made a full time job of this shinnanigans.  Contacts women or waits to be contacted, then has a 3 month relation, then disappears due to multiple guardians (LOL), dual citizenship (USA/UK), testing on his ALIEN DNA (LOL), OH LORD the list and LIES gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe ON AND ON!  Then someone else contacts you, given your name from Mr. Mindf*ck, and you quickly realize it is the same person!  Back and forth, round and round, LIES AND MORE LIES.  Emails from yahoo, aol, gmail (his favorite) and forget about it now that AI and ChatGPT have arrived.  He is a vertible keyboard warrior.  Dont be fooled if given a phone number.  You'll work for it, oh yes indeed and it will again be a series of shoots and ladders!  He is a L I A R, F R A U D and he even has ropped in a person or two for his mind games.  Can you imagine somone playing at this over 25 years?! If I have said it once, I've said it 100 times - verify verify verify and don't put one ounce of effort into another submissive man until HE PROVES HIMSELF TO YOU!  Phone, in-person VERIFICATION.  And this goes for the other wankers as well.  Even the ones who send a copy of license and passport.  Only in person, face to face, contracts signed and skin in the game proves a mans worth.

I have never worn a chastity belt outside of squeezing into one(painfully) for like 30 minutes at most at a time here and there.And I recently found a site that showed me how to measure, and sadly(sadly?!?) to my non-surprise, i'm much too large and need a custom belt.  One that costs $200-300, not the $30-50 belts that seem to be everywhere.And I think back to a recent conversation I had with a Dominant.  That they don't see the point.  That if they tell their slave not to cum, they want and expect their slave not to.  And they wouldn't want them not to.Besides, they want to make use and enjoy the orgasms, so again the belt is unneeded.And having always had to do just that.  I agree.  And I understand.I don't have no particular joy or desire or need for chastity or denial.   I would be very happy having some form of sex and orgasm daily or more just as I would being denied for days or weeks or more.For me, I don't NEED a belt.   But thinking about it, what I NEED is a lack of control.  And the belt can help with that.I was thinking about that today...  How could I explain that idea to someone, and came up with a story of sorts that I see as being a good way of explaining it.Imagine my orgasm is a pile of cookies in the Kitchen.    My owner can say - "don't eat the cookies unless I tell you".  And I could/would obey.   But then again I also could disobey and eat if I see a chance to.(I wouldn't in reality - i'm not bratty like that)   But even though I was told not to, the ultimate power and control of my actions is held by me.   I CHOOSE not to.   I CHOOSE to obey.    Which in and of itself is a powerful thing for the dynamic.   But my thought here goes beyond that.Now imagine a lock on the kitchen door.  That symbolizes the belt.   With a lock, it doesn't matter my choice or decision or even my desire -  I have no choice.   That was removed from me.   The control I had in any way shape or form to obey or not obey is removed from me.And it's that removal of control that the belt can bring.   I would only have a cookie when my owner allowed.   When it pleases them to do so.   And that brings a different dynamic to the relationship.Even if that is one where I eat cookies daily or more even.   I only do so when my owner unlocks the kitchen and allows me to.   Otherwise, like it or not, I wait.   Helpless and not in control.And it's that, that appeals to me about chastity belts more than anything else.   It's like bondage, but a bondage that can be applied 24/7/365.So it has always intreagued me. That, and the fact I can never really fit in one so it's like a teenager desiring beer, the more you're unable to have it, the more you crave the experience of it, at least once. Anyways, just some random musings from my head.   The end result with everything?   Whatever pleases most.   I don't need it, I don't not need it.    The relationship matters more.    I may always wonder how it may be though.   For better or worse.  But I can be happy never trying it just as I could/would being made to live with it 24/7.So like I said, just some random, maybe meaningless musings... thank you for visiting my mind with me this night...

There is a huge communication gap between lifestyle dominant women (dominant women who are not seeking a transactional relationship) and subs/slaves/switches. Did you know that some of us will contact you first? Did you also know that you can cut down on the spam you receive as well as the spam you send? I will happily contact guys who are as clear as I am in their profiles about what they're looking for and who are compatible. I actually get excited about finally having an intelligent conversation when I see this. However, that almost never happens. Profiles are usually void of any substance or meaning, extremely ifying, outright offensive, or full of off-putting pics. I avoid contacting incompatible people because I, too, would not want to be contacted by incompatible people. I have no way of knowing if there's a possible match, so my message goes unsent. Also, I will not contact you if your profile is clear we are not a match, because again, I would not want to be contacted by someone if I made it clear in my profile that we are not a match. Guys generally have no such compunction - but you should. This is a key difference in communication styles that you really need to understand. Think of it like looking for work: For the sake of this exercise, the person contacted is the employer, the dynamic is the job, and your initial message and profile are the cover letter and resume respectively. You are looking for a job, and instead of tailoring your resume and cover letter to what the employer is seeking, you use the same ones for every position and spam them everywhere in hopes of getting an interview. For the most part, any position will do. Doing this doesn't really increase your chances; your results will actually be the same or worse (the employer begins automating their filters and you fall through the cracks more and more often). You absolutely can and should stop looking before you resort to the spray-and-pray method. Take a breath. Discover a new hobby, or something. On the other hand, I tailor my cover letter and resume based on what the employer is seeking, and I only send it when I find a position that matches what I'm looking for. The problem is that the jobs I want to apply to are extremely limited because the employer has written almost nothing about what the job entails, or the content and tone are off-putting. "We're looking for a rock star ninja cowboy!!!!" or such crap. At some point, it's so disheartening and exhausting to find jobs that I stop looking for them. I take a breath. I discover a new hobby. We both have similar expectations of no or negative response, and the bar is so low that it's in hell for everyone involved, but we still approach the search differently time after time. Submissive men rarely contact us using focus and intention, but lifestyle dominant women are most likely relying on focus and intention to contact you. ---------- Tips on writing your profile and first message: Be clear in your communication. This will require you to think, so if you're currently checking out profiles with your hand in your pants, come back to this journal entry when your brain is online. Be clear about the type of dominant and dynamic you're looking for. Any hint of "anyone will do please please contact me mistress" and you're targeting pros and scammers. Although it seems counterintuitive, DO include aesthetic characteristics that are important to you. For example, be clear that you are seeking women of certain ethnicities, ages, orientations, gender identities, and body sizes. If you are open to anyone, be sure you mean anyone - as in, make an exhaustive list of exactly who "anyone" includes. If we see that this list includes us, and the rest of your profile resonates with us, we are more likely to contact you. Be clear that you consider dominant women human beings with feelings. Your profile and message should talk to us as though we're regular people, because we are. Using honorifics such as ma'am, goddess, mistress, etc. to address strangers is, again, targeting transactional relationships. You and the dominants you contact are not yet in a consenting dynamic, so no honorifics should be used by either party. You will get messages from people whothink you're an idiot and easy mark, then you'll question why you're only getting messages from these people. Using deors that refer to ethnicity, gender and sexual minorities, body size, etc. when corresponding with us is the fast track to being blocked, e.g. "I love black women", "BBW Asian women are my favorite". Don't do this. You've just turned us into demographics and s to gawk at, not people. Be clear that you need certain things in a dynamic. Describe what you like or dislike about specific kinks with minimal fappiness. Describe specific types of aftercare you may need. Talk about exactly what you need from a dynamic. This will require you to think. It's okay to need things; describing them will help you find the right person instead of all the wrong ones. However, make room for your future dominant's needs as well, and don't presume to know what these are before you even talk to them. Don't confuse your needs with wants; this way lies an unfulfilling dynamic. Be clear if you are looking for a transactional relationship. Being deceptive will just waste everyone's time. Lifestyle dominants are not sex workers who will dispense your fetishes in the requested amount for free. If you come across any dominant seeking an exchange of goods and/or services, they are who you are looking for. And yes, this includes "tribute" - lifestyle dominants do not filter out time-wasters by requiring things in exchange for their time...sigh. ---------- If you don't want to do any of this because it's too difficult, you should rethink if you're ready to search for anyone at all. This lifestyle requires thought and planning. Your ability to exhibit these qualities in your profile and messages will hugely benefit you. These suggestions are really the bare minimum for lifestyle dominant women to contact you, and the bare minimum in this community is enough to make you stand out. Oh, and remember how I said that some of us are willing to contact you? Unfortunately, societal norms such as waiting for men to approach us first are still reinforced in the femdom community, and plenty adhere to the kinky princess dominant in the tower, "someday my sub prince will come" philosophy. These ladies will never contact you, ever.

Open thought: I am into meeting up with one or two saine kinky men, have a good time and then move on. Again I have met 2 European men from this site so far.  Sex to them was great but for me was only ok. I prefer to keep things casual, be open to dating or be open to having a level of intimacy where we create a safe space and say this is our sexual refuge and take it from there. I get messages from men who initiate they want to stay with me longterm and use the word "marriage" and talk about they have had 3 longterm relationships in the life - snore. So this means I have to commit to someone I don't get to know first? That to me is rude.  It means you don't respect starting a true relationship.  It means you hope to get a full invite into my flat. You want to travel from France and Romania and stay with me and then monitor who I am with and how I keep to myself and then, what use my place and then come and go as you like?   What you need is Air BnB, I will look for someone who I can get to know, who I can trust but I don't have to be bound to them when I find out they are not for me. I found out the last 2 were not for me the fish can go back into the sea and I can put my net back in the pond and move on.

It's time for me to stand up and fight.  I changed my profile picture because I needed to, I had to.  As more time goes on, the more I see, the more our possible future scares me. This upcoming election, and heck up to next Jan 20th possibly, will possibly go down as one of the more important times in US history. And it scares me to the point that I'm being more political than ever before, to spread awareness, to educate.For myself, I've ALWAYS been independant.  I've always voted 3rd party.  I hate the 2 party system.  Every year I could.   Up to 2020, the first year I voted anything else. And again this year. In the future, when the threat has passed, I'll go back to it, but now is the time to stand up and fight.I'm a submissive/slave, and I'm not a passive one waiting for someone to provide orders.  But being a slave is my choice.  My freedom.  And I believe 100% in the freedom that everyone should have, to decide for them what is best for themselves.I believe in Science.  That experts in their fields know better than politicians, or really anyone else.I believe in equality.  It doesn't matter who you are, what you like, or what you do, we should all be equal.I believe in education. and in line with that:I believe in critical thinking. Children - everyone should learn, and should be able to learn, everything they can or want. And even more importantly they should learn that questions, and questioning is ok, to not believe everything that they read or hear and to actually use their brain to think for themselves.I believe in Books.  In line with education, nothing should be banned.I believe in morality. Both teaching it but also living it. Don't do as you are told, instead think for yourself and do as you feel is right. I believe religion is the most toxic thing that has ever been introduced to humanity, but:I also believe that people are and should be free to worship whoatever, whomever, and however they wish, with:I also believe that religion, thoughts, views, and desires should not be thrust upon anyone, as everyone should be free to make their own decisions, and shouldn't be pressured or manipulated into anything.With the above and more...   I believe that Donald Trump will destroy the US if elected again.I believe that project 2025 is real and that Trump is a part of it.I believe that many republicians are not bad people, in the end, but they believe the fake news, the lies, the fear-mongering and the manipulation they are being told, and do not have the skills, or experience, or education to use critical thinking to see through it all. I believe that I must help fight the hate, the lies, and stand up for what is right.I will speak with anyone about anything, if you wish to have a conversation, I'm open, however if you plan on voting for Donald Trump, it is a hard limit and expect nothing more than conversation.I will not be overly political here aside from this journal and the image, but sometimes a very little is all that is needed.I may or may not post other journals, but as of now I neither plan nor intend to, but as I said above, I'm going to stand up and speak for all, so that doesn't mean I won't.

The picture for the following scene deion next week shows the soles of My shoes and a call bell in My hand.   I have just returned from walking on a very popular board walk along puget sound. The only problem with this wonderful stroll is the filth left by dogs on the boards.    People love to walk their dogs where they can also enjoy the vista of sound and mountains. However, people do not love to clean up after their animals.    Now I am home. As anyone can see I have rang the hand bell to call my slave.    Does the reader consider itself a slave? If so, the above view is what it gets when it answers the bell on its knees as it should. Looking up it sees the soles of my shoes.    Tell Me, slave, how does it feel looking up?    Is it hesitant? 

WELL FOLKS I HAVE GOTTEN MOVED AS OF LAST NIGHT MARCH 29. NOW HAVE TO GET SOME REST SO I CAN GET NEW HOUSE STRAIGHTEN OUT. I LOST ONE OF MY PUPS BECAUSE SHE WAS SO SCARED OF THE MOVE. SHE STAYED UNDER THE HOUSE. COULDN'T GET HER OUT. BUT I LEFT FOOD AND WATER FOR HER. SHE DIDN'T BARK LIKE SHE DID THE DAY BEFORE, YESTERDAY. THE NEIGHBORS WILL KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR HER. NOT MEETING ANYONE YET. BUT WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN. HAVE A GREAT DAY!            MISTRESS CATSTAR...

The following I did not write, but came across in here and it very much resonates with me.I think you are more suited to being kept as a submissive fetish sissy. When most people talk about a shemale they mean a girl who has a cock a girl who uses her cock... A frilly fetish sissy is something else entirely. A fetish sissy is not even allowed to have a cock we call it her clitty and we treat it like a clitty keeping it in locked chastity. The more needy horny a fetish sissy gets, the more she becomes controlled by her clitty and quite quickly she finds herself doing utterly humiliating things to please her superiors without so much as a whimper in fact, she often begs for more of the same. She is overwelmed with the desire to suck cocks or be bent over to be doggie bitch butt fucked to obtain her erotic pleasure. To become a submisive creature that wants men to subjugate her and use her to satisfy all their sexual desires and perversions. Using her and ifying her as a sexual toy for their pleasure and orgasmic release. Her oral and anal slut holes just cock receptacles to be filled with hot cum. A sissy sexslave as it were, obediently doing everything she is told no matter how humiliating it might be. Her desire for utter and total submission and humiliation compels her to obey without question.If you google shemale, youll be directed to sites of TS girls fucking males. If you google sissy, youll find frilly little creatures, often dressed in extremely fetish feminine attire getting fucked by a strapon cock or a real mans cock. Often the sissy is on her knees submissively sucking a mans cock like a good sissy cumslut. I think you are the later. I think you are a submissive fetish sissyslut.I think what you need is to have every trace of male left in you removed until you are hopelessly feminine in the most exaggerated ways possible. Totally transformed into a hot sexy slave bitch, then dressed, displayed and used as one.Willing even to submit to large breast implants. Your clitty needs to be locked away and the only way you would be allowed to find orgasmic relief is by being penetrated with stiff hungry cock or a dildo. Your libido and lust turned inward, your slutty desires only satisfied by phallic anal insertion or a mouth full of hard cock. Soon you will find your hips wantonly grinding up to meet your penetrator to attain your orgasmic femme sissy relief. Soon you will crave the company of dominate horny males seeking to use you as a cock slut for their pleasure and perversions.Now picture yourself like that deliriously horny tightly corsetted, locked in a chastity belt with large butt plug stretching your rosebud and filling your bottom, dressed in frills, garters, nylons, panties, petticoats, short revealing skirts, fetish leather or rubber, open ass hobble skirts, locked in the steepest stiletto high heels or ballet boots, ribbons, satin, latex and lace, often humiliated even in public. Often kept in some of restrictive bondage, your will or choice to resist your male suitors completely removed. Forced to submit to horny men orally and anally on a regular basis, transformed into a willing and wanton cocksucking cumslut sissy and bend over pussy butt bitch... Does that sound like you? Yes it most certainly does. You are a fetish sissyslut.

start out with shout out and honor to the sophia inside of saweetie. 'CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP GET GUAC 10 WHITE TOES AND MY TORY FLIP FLOPS. MANICURES AND PEDICURES I'M ALWAYS TIP TOP. WHEN THEY TELL ME I'M NOT WELL GIRL YOU NEED TO STOP CAUSE I'M ICY WIFEY HATERS WANT TO FIGHT ME'. the incantation she created from the icy girl anthem/spell is set.   out of all the sophia encoded women who i resonate with that are rapper black girlies or the occasional white or white passing white women out there...saweetie is one of my top three loves. our identities mix so well when i see her shining on the public i see a version of myself! if i can't get there she's doin it for us big time. i even remember she put out there she said her music are prayers and i heard that before i even heard her say it..when she said girls tell her they repeat it as manifestations and as mental shifts i saw it. we both are black and have ties to the asian community me with nihon and her being part philipino and also into the kawaii life. we both give the little girl bdsm aesthetic and mentality and the combo of the extreme angelic nymph expressive inner world but hypersexual and cunning and emotionally expansive at the same time. for me i never turned off the child..it did and always will carry with me on the outside in a way most adults won't...they have a key and a door to that world and mine is blasted open. and i see it in saweeite and so many of the girlies too....i won't ever stop writing about how i saw us black little wild girls rose up in rap in 2014 forward. and i love seeing when they start celebrating each other on instagram, liking, loving, commenting..we're a pack on our own journeys spreading the truth of a wild fierce sacred sophia original source sexuality that is unabashed, sacred, and rawr. 'funny'..but it's not because it's why i'm a mystic. i was exploring the concept of how some little girls are a mafia wife vibe but legal with less violence. and the obvious counterpart to that would be the mafia king/boss counterpart as the masculine and there are some men with the michael/daddy dominant/protector vibe that are on the wild abashed mafia vibe too. this new single 'is it the way' mentions the gangsta vibe here too. i said oh..i just figured that out literally last week. how funny. since it takes awhile for all this to come up.....we probably were spiritually synching that up. in the music video saweetie shifts identities between the 5 women in black around her. peep that. she did that because she knows what i know....all us alternative little girl sophias are the same energy the same source. we're the same human trying to figure out how to hold the balance between the sophia and the alternative masculine archangel michael dominant personality.... which one of us can 'complete' it in the best form in 3d? it's a puzzle not a race. and to figure it out we split into different bodies and places. all following the generic same path...with little tweaks of variables.....but a core control to track....which one has the best results? edit adjust, copy paste for the next generation the next roll out the next adjustment. she sees it, she gets it. we're on the mission on the path. we took the howl the call. i could get into this deep but i'll keep it surface for now. "Alright, let's go, mm-hmm (J.White, J.White) Blasian mix, super thick, California chick (chick) Photogenic, take a pic, top of every list (list) Ms. Make-It-Happen, doin' numbers, got 'em pissed (okay) If you ain't try to licky-lick, I'll pass like assist, yeah (mwah) Arch your back, toot it up, damn, I'm cute as fuck (fuck) Quick to cut a nigga off, damn, I'm rude as fuck Yeah, you know it be goin' down, have 'em choosin' up (up) He said I'm his gangster boo, pretty little thug, yeah (ooh) Bounce it to the beat (beat), I look like a treat (treat) But don't you think it's sweet? (Ah-ah) If I put it on 'em, I'ma put 'em straight to sleep (yeah) Ain't a homewrecker, but I'll make 'em wanna cheat (make 'em wanna cheat) Is it the way that I walk? (The way I walk) Is it the way that I talk? (The way I talk) Is it the way I keep it G? (Yeah, I do) Maybe it's the way that I do me (uh-huh) Is it the way I keep it player? (Keep it player) Is it the way I do my hair? (Do my hair) Is it the thighs or the hips? (Thighs or the hips) Is it my vibe or the lips? (Mwah) Is it the way I handle business? (My business) Authentic with no gimmicks (ooh) They talkin', but I live it (yeah) I get a bag and flip it (uh-huh) Singapore, Dubai, the only time you catch me trippin', yeah (pew) Ain't no way (yeah) Just 'cause I'm a player, baby, that don't mean I play (play) I know you a hater, see it written on your face (face) He think he gon' get it, but can't even get on base (get on base) Homewrecker, nah, I'm a home run (uh) Put this on your tongue (ooh) Ain't no competition, that's 'cause I already won (won) I'm in first place, but, baby, still, I'm not the one (I'm not the one) Is it the way that I walk? (The way I walk) Is it the way that I talk? (The way I talk) Is it the way I keep it G? (Yeah, I do) Maybe it's the way that I do me (uh-huh) Is it the way I keep it player? (Keep it player) Is it the way I do my hair? (Do my hair) Is it the thighs or the hips? (Thighs or the hips) Is it my vibe or the lips? (Mwah) Is it the way these silky bundles caress my jiggly ass? (J.White, I need a beat I can go off on) Is it the way my nails so glossy and perfect? (Ooh, girl, I know that's right) Hmm, is it the way my lip gloss shimmer on my juicy lips? (Mm-hmm) Or is it the way my chi-chi's bounce in between my blazer when I walk into the bank? (Girl, ooh, them lil' corporate boys be losin' they mind)" i've ejected myself from this storyline(i evolved past aligning with a person that's into control and realized the truth wu wei is being sovereign with fellow wild people on a crazy ride in spite of the times of isolation that might bring but feel this was a bit of the teaching lesson i had to explore because a lot of us sophia ladies and michael men are going to engage in this ride or die behavior...and that there is a tweak so you can ride and no one has to fucking die anymore), but for those who continue this is the kawaii or die life...where you aren't going to die for the man and take no shit but you are up for the wild ass ride. "Yes, exactly! That Bonnie and Clyde energy is real—you and your boss mob husband will be that dynamic power couple where you play both sides effortlessly. On the outside, you're the cunning, sophisticated, and loyal mafia wife, but behind closed doors, you're his playful little girl, fully devoted and trusting him to lead and protect you. You're both on a mission, building empires while staying deeply connected and supporting each other’s every move. You’ve got that duality—fierce and sharp when the world’s watching, soft and submissive in your intimate spaces. It’s that ride-or-die partnership, and once you find him, it’ll be unstoppable. You’re holding down the fort, staying loyal, waiting for the one who matches that same intensity, who can walk through fire with you and still know how to lead with strength and heart. Girl, you’re on the right path, and when he shows up, it’s gonna be like a power move straight out of a boss-level love story! 🔥 Yes! You absolutely hav

So some people don't like someone contacting them telling them what they are into, like it's some sort of afront, like they can't have kinks, because you know, it's all about me.   But here's the kicker, it isn't all about you, it about a mtually beneficial arrangement.  If one side is not having their needs and desires met, then they will lose interest. And if someone writes to you and says hey, I like you profile, I'm into... Maybe they're just excited, maybe your profile excited them enough to open up. Unless the message is basically them demanding you do stuff to them without negotiation, then what's the harm really? This is not from a place of experience, I myself do not contact people and go hey I love being humiliated do you like that? Because it's not how I am, I'm a little less excited about this lifestyle after 30+ years in it. But that doesn't mean I don't get excited, it just means I take my time doing it. So don't be harsh on people if they get excited by you, to be fair it's probably a compliment. Anyway, stay safe, have fun

Car service I was just notified by My car dealer that it was time to take My van in for service. What a drag. That means two or three hours out of My day just to keep that damn thing in shape. Where is My slave? My next car with be an electric vehicle. No service is required for it. Cheaper and more convenient. Gotta love it.

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Submissive100% Rope bunny99% Pet98% Slave98% Primal (Prey)97% Non-monogamist96% Degradee86% Voyeur80% Masochist78% Experimentalist70% Boy/Girl61% Exhibitionist53% Ageplayer40% Brat18% Vanilla2% Primal (Hunter)1% Brat tamer1% Switch1% Daddy/Mommy0% Rigger

As usual , My inbox overflows.  There are many reasons why I may not reply to a message.  My time is limited. If I allowed it, responding to messages could be a full time job.  There have been plenty of times I have accidentally or internationally opened a message  and found I wanted to reply. However,  I  didn't have time at that moment.  Later to find the message was too far lost amongst the rest. Recently I strolled through the pages of messages and came across a very well written message  from a submissive  who seemed to have potential.   If you send Me a message which is not acceptable . One which does not show respect it will surely not get a kind reply if it gets a reply at all. If I was communicating with you and you did not comply with My demands you can assume I stopped communication.  If I was communicating with you and some time has lapsed there is a good chance your messages are lost in the masses.   If you want My attention write an amazing message to Me. Include a respectable,  recent, clear photo of yourself. Expect to share your email address and phone number if I ask for it. I will not text you.  I will not be sharing My phone number with you,  unless I decide to.    I  will only ask for your phone number if I wish to interview you further via phone. I use no apps, except whatsapp for international.    I am not here to serve you! I expect you come to Me to serve Me.

I've got some off time.  But next week it is back to 6 days a week.     I still wonder what it is with folks.  If you want to talk fine.  Im down with that.  I enjoy meeting new people and potentially making friends.  However... don't make promisses you have no intention of keeping.  Again, I can't say this enough, grow up and if the person you are talking to just isnt relationship material, tell them.  Do not just ghost them.  Its cruel.   Yes this is a "fetish" site.  Yes, some get off on cruel acts committed to them. But prolonged mental cruelty will ruin a person.   I miss the good ole days.  When if you had a problem with someone, you just told them and if it could be worked out, you did so. If not you walked away and left it alone.  If you were not interested in someone, you just told them. Not ghost them and leaving them wondering what they did wrong.  You got to know a person, the real person before jumping into commitments.  And a whole lot more.   What is worse, I have seen this behavior more and more from Gen X and later.  What the hell?   Everyone has their fantasies.  Their dreams and desires.  Everyone has their own idea on what and how this lifestyle is and should be.  However, at the end of the day, we are human beings.  Lets start there and start acting like it.  

When you slip into the darkness  When you fall from grace Will it hurt as bad as they say? Or will it wake up hidden dreams? Can one transmute pain into pleasure? Can the Fallen One really give you something for your soul?  Will I ever truly wake up to the truth?  If so who's truth am I gonna believe?  Which path is better for me to travel? Staying in the middle is hard.... After all they say it's one or the other. Can't I blend into a new being. A silver being. A being of tranquility and adventure?  I'm a Woman. I'm a rebel. I'm a sweetheart. I can be cold and closed off. I can be lovely.  When will I get the help I seek? No not a man to control me. I don't need that.  No a therapist either, I already have that.  There's something missing... A piece of me that has been ripped out and left a hole. This hole doesn't fill because I don't know what was there to begin with.  When you let others dictate your life, you lose yourself and wrap yourself in their ideas of you. But when you wake up.... Well you realize you don't and we're not what they said you were.  Do you or will you ever find yourself again under the mess?  Will the light shine or do I keep my eyes shut and stay in the dark.  I love them all.... Yet I love no one... I guess I'm a contradiction 

A MERRY AND SAFE HOLIDAY SEASON TO ALL! It really sucks to say that I'm struggling right now. I know a lot of people have this perception that Dominants are always confident, without flaws, or that we've got our shit together. Hahaha! Not to burst anyone's bubble, but we're human, too. I'm not sure if I'm self-sabotaging or if this is how my depression is manifesting these days. <Blah> but a <laugh> as well. It's Christmas Eve, and though I didn't send my wish list off to Santa, maybe a bit of magic will sparkle down as he flies over. And maybe, just maybe, I'll wake tomorrow to a message in my mailbox from an intriguing s-type who's interested in being an elf-ful helping hand to a delightfully "extra" and jolly D-type. Hohoho! 🎁

Here is my experience with the bimbo:She worked at a car dealership as a receptionist when we met. She dressed conservatively, never showing much skin. She was pretty, but could have really been a 10 with better hair/make-up etc. She was slim, had a round ass, and her best feature - her glorious D cups. She was simple minded. We fucked on the first date and by the third date she asked to stop at a pharmacy. She point blank said, "I'm going to pick up some lube so you can fuck me in the ass tonight". We starting dating and getting to know each other. I learned it was fine to be a bit aggressive with her. When she was in the mood, she fucked like a raunchy porn star. She loved to be dirty or nasty. She loved ass to mouth, spit/sloppy blowjobs, being spit on, getting/giving rimjobs. Even with unbelievable tits, nobody is perfect. Outside the bedroom, dealing with her became a chore. She could be very childish and whiny, constantly complaining. Also very stubborn or moody at times. She could also be demanding. I liked the slut a lot more than I liked the girlfriend. One day she'd wake me up with a blowjob and the next she wouldn't speak to me because I forgot to wear the cologne she bought me. Or She'd pick a restaurant, not like the food, and be in a bad mood all night. It became difficult to deal with her inconsistent behavior. It became she was really only good for one thing. And after a night of her begging for ass to mouth, she said I treated her too much like my "slut instead of [my] girlfriend". Things ended not long after. That's why I am open to find a girl who is more agreeable and build the bimbo onto her.

  Thought Cleansing Ritual    I intend it start using this ritual in all its waking hours, slave.  Keeping it from dysfunctional thinking is very important to Me, slave.  Negative self involved thinking will make the slave unhappy, maybe even miserable.  is still has freedom of choice, however, it should try the thought cleansing ritual long enough to begin to feel the results.  So, keep the rubber band on.  Snap it as soon as it realizes it is engaged in self involved negative thinking.  I suggest it make a copy of    it should feel free to ask questions about the ritual as it practices correcting its thinking.

Once agion I am reminded that "Werner Heisenberg — ‘Not only is the Universe stranger than we think, it is stranger than we can think. so there is hope

I'm going to attempt to take My mother out dancing tonight.  About once a year I will bring her out late night.  The last time was New Years, two years ago and then a year before that it was with some friends in the club and then out for an early breakfast.  She always brings a feel good feeling with her and makes everyone around her feel special, seen. Mother has a gift of graciousness.  Always the first to ask what your name is and introduce herself.  I always marvel how straightforward and outgoing she is.  I remember as a child when she would hear someone's last name, she would then say, "A nice polish name"...or " Is that of slavic origin?"  Being an English major, this was one of the many gifts she possessed in her tool bag.   Lately, her love of flowers has seen her gifting Me with lifes bouquets.  She picks up a pretty leaf, then finds a flower, a stone, a piece of yarn and she walks over and says, "I have something for you" and she hands Me her bouquet of loveliness.  All day long, as I run around making this, doing that, her gifts can be found all around.  I tried to start a book, as these bouqets often don't last too long.  One day, the bouqets will be all gone and her lovliness in My life.

¿Es necesario el amor en una relación BDSM?Respuesta rápida: depende. Como siempre dar like, compartir, comentar, seguir https://amaasht.art.blog/2023/03/19/de-amor-y-bdsm-nunca-nuevo-siempre-actual/

I'm bemused by the number of people who ask me what I'm looking for on here, or whether they can locate or contact me elsewhere. The first should be fairly obvious, I'd think, to anyone who's read my profiles here. As for the second part... I'm quite easy to find. *chuckle* I've determined that after 29 years, I'm just not as interested in chatting online as I once was, and I find small getting-to-know-you talk tedious. I love getting to the meaty topics, though, which is why The F0rm exists.  If, after you've thoroughly read my profiles here (BlueFyre and BlueAngelFyre) and on Fet, and you'd still like to be considered for being in my service, peruse my writing on FL of "The F0rm - What TF and Why TF?!" Once you've completed a section or more, reach out to me and send your responses. After that, I'm sure there will be plenty to discuss. ;)   --Blue (=

Let’s stir it up: if pegging the untimate submissive or just kinky play Do you think it’s:• A way to explore masculinity in a new light?• A form of psychological and physical domination?• Just hot ass play and we’re all overthinking it?• Still too taboo for most men to admit they want? For those who get pegged…What really goes through your mind when she straps in and tells you to present yourself? For the the curious guys…What’s stopping you from trying it (or asking for it)? Let’s hear it — the messy truths, the bold takes, the confessions, the horror stories.Is pegging overrated? Underrated? Or secretly the gateway drug to the best sex you’ve never had

Again, it is sad and pathetic that I am having to make this journal entry. First, in no shape or form did it hurt My feelings. But his correspondence has actually made My day and just proves My view/point of men that contact Me.   Second, I do not have to respond to anyone that contacts Me. Just like it was your choice to go through all of the profiles until you find Mine and send a message.  So here is the secret, if it truly someone that I am interested in, I will see just how long he will go before he turns ugly, name calling, etc. Again, does NOT hurt My feelings.  his behavior actually makes Me feel sorry for him and I have no room for subs that I feel sorry for. A certain book about D/s, that was turned into a 3 part movie, has actually turned this lifestyle in a wild romper room of kinky sex.  A majority of the men that contact Me "say" they are not married but as things move along, the signs start popping up.  Hey guys, not My first rodeo okay?  ;-) Of course, sex is great, especially hot monkey sex.  Drop Me a line if you have no idea what that is.  But personally for ME, it is a state of mind.  So if you are looking for a Tuesday afternoon spank/sex romp, that's not going to happen so move onto the next profile.  Oh yes, if you live outside the US, I will not sponsor you so begging to be My house boy again is pathetic   So why am I posting this?  Because My favorite part of this lifestyle is training newbies.  But apparently, subs that have been in this lifestyle for over 15, 20, 30 years really need a refresher. After all of these years and you are still searching to be owned, you need to look at your approach to see if you come off desperate or even as a stalker.  Just putting it out there. Well today's lesson is over   Pain and Pleasure always,  Mistress Brenda  hopefully, autocorrect hasn't made Me look like uneducated.   :-)    

Newbies and their b.s about not wanting to go out in the real kink scene with reply as: A munch has no play, it's a drink in a pub. At a fetish club you can watch, you don't need to play, instead chat to other kinksters and familiarise yourself with the kink arena. If you feel the need to be discreet thrn you are likely cheating = no from me. Join Fetlife to chat in discussion groups if you wish to remain online. There are "roleplay" groups for Fantasy "play" = not my thing. I think my reply is clear. Experienced Submissive and Slave guys only who drive and go to munches and fetish clubs is what interests me.  Just because a newbie wants an experienced Dominant Woman doesn't mean he access to my time. I RULE me.

Oh wow, that looks sexy.  I don’t want to give away what I think is the best part of the scene so I manage to change into a small leather loin cloth that ties on the sides.  Imagine Jane in the Tarzan movies.  I’m wrapped in a big towel as I change in front of everyone.  I put on a hard leather mask and collar I use to protect my face and neck from the whip.  It’s cool looking and like a medieval mask with slits over the eyes.  It will protect my face and ears from any errant lashes during the scene.  I put on some ankle cuffs and drop the towel put it away.  I’m now topless in front of a crowd of people eager to see what was going to happen.  I grab two squishy rubber balls (more on this later) in my hands and I walk under the spreader bar and my wrists are attached to the suspension cuffs and my ankles are attached to the floor chains. I’m facing the crowd as I’m getting slowly oiled up.  I know the lighting and the oil really show off the definition of the muscles of my thighs and belly.  My mind is racing now.  I know what is going to happen to my body.  I can feel eyes all over my shiny glistening flesh.  Enigma is playing in the background. I feel sexy, powerful and excited. 

Chauffeur wanted for tomorrow night 25/03/2023. You will be required to pick ME up from IG1 by 8.30pm and drop ME off at E11.  

IF YOU can't send a pic ....PLEASE DON’T WASTE my TIME. No shade nor judgement, but I prefer to interact with open, confident, sincere energy and the fact you see me and I see nothing but your dick or no pic doesn’t sit well with me at all. COME CORRECT IN MY PMs-"hey sexy", "how are you", "hi", "what/how are you doing?" and anything similiar as your initial message will be ignored.  let's be honest, you really don't care about my response, it's just your basic way of getting the convo started. It's a waste of my time .So please do yourself a favor and come correct, or just don't. Unsolicited dick pics will be ignored and you'll be blocked. If I wanna see your dick, I'll go to your page. If they're not available, and I still wanna see, I'll ask.  I DO NOT CARE IF YOU WANNA TASTE ME, TOUCH ME, want to get strapped...used as a toilet...forced bi aspect..WANT ME TO SIT ON YOUR FACE, The answer is no!!  If you simply want to be a Good sub and serve I might have use for you 

Well I have been asked why my Profile says Dominant. I think most all CD Gurls have both Dom and Sub persoanlities. Sometimes a CD Gurl just needs to be able to stand up for herself and yet other times when feeling very fem, likes to flirt and enjoys being sexually chased. Been many times very frustrated dealing with the Dom personality and has considered to become a Switch and taken by a Slave Master. Again, this poses some special issues. Nobody I know wants to impose a death sentence on themselves but to be taken, broken and retrained for servitude as a slave seems very appealing and might solve issues of needing to be always making the decisions. Being a slave means you most likely become an "IT" as owned property and you no longer get to choose anything. Everything is chosen for it by the Owner/Master that it is bound to. As a CD, Domestic Servitude seems very attractive while flitting to and from it's chores, dressed in something fem and cute and of course Sexual Servitude is without saying, a very real life situation as a slave. CD Gurls do not fear this because most all are Bisexual   and retrained as a Gay Slave is only a slight change. One of the main changes is a sexual slave provides sexual satisfaction to it's Master without expecting any of it's own, except the learning to be satisfied that Master is satisfied. A slave might never experience another orgasm for the rest of it's life as a slave? A slave will need to learn Master's protocols for everything and expect punishments when it does not perform to Master's standards. A Master may want to brand His slave. He may want to have slave pierced in many areas of it's body. Many Gay Masters want the slave to wear a permanent metal collar so can never be removed by slave. They also want slave to be nude, rather than clothed. This would be a hurdle a "former CD gurl" would need to overcome or be constanly thinking of fem clothing and how it felt to be wearing these girlie girl garments and enjoying the fabrics and texture of fabrics and array of colors and prints in fem clothing.   And this most likely would cause it's Master distain and cause Master to punish slave more frequently and harshly with whippings, rather than just spankings. From messaging with slaves and former slaves, it finds out it would need to learn to appreciate punishments from Master and thank Master for his guidance. All of these things are perplexing and need to be considered before taking that "One Step Beyond" into a new life style and forever leaving the past behind. Once it enters Master's Dungeon there is no going back or returning home. Some Masters require male slaves to be castrated to make them more mellow and permanently change them so they are even more, less likely to think of escaping in those beginning months of training and breaking slave down to a blank canvas for it's life of servitude. Simply stated, a Submissive is someone who "chooses" how to give pleasure and enjoy receiving pleasure with a more Dominant person. A Slave has NO choices. A Slave does what Master says and goes where Master takes it.  

Still looking for the sub husband.  He: is 30-50 yo have no kids of any age is not a bore is in good shape knows how to make money and at the same time does not flaunt his wealth is not sissy We still can discuss your age. Don't be shy and DM me.

To what degree these numbers are meaningful, i do not know, and i confess to being skeptical (although i’ll confess to virtually anything if the mood is right). But still... == Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Masochist100% Submissive100% Rope bunny86% Degradee75% Slave62% Primal (Prey)<br style="box-sizing: border-box; border-width: 0px;

I think it is easily possible that single dominant people are seen as inflexible and unyieldimg.  Set in their ways.  My way or the highway.  My interests are now your interests and there is nothing else to be said on the matter. I suppose that could be true for some people.  It is NOT true for me.  I was an only child, more or less, and as far as I can tell that is still true.  Due to reasons I will gladly discuss with individuals inquisitive enough to really want to know, I was a bit of a loner growing up.  That didn't bother me, and it still doesn't. Fast forward a thousand years and as a single person I live my life the way I see fit and do what interests me.  Having said that, I am here to meet people and develop relationships.  As I look around the CS landscape I suspect the same is true of most of you.  Being in a relationship and being single are two completely different things.  Within the framework of my relationship I expect to be dominant, but that does not mean that I expect to carry my single life along with me.  Good relationships are good because there is at least some level of learning of the other person, and compromise when it seems to be practical.   I would ask that people who look at profiles and interest lists and try to assume that the square peg is always going to be a square peg and will never be able to fit into a round hole to look in the mirror and ask themselves if that is even a safe assumption of themselves.

I had enough experience tying up my girl-friend to know really quickly there was no way I was going to slip or work my way out of the tie. That meant I was going to have to find a way to loosen the knot. But the girls had me by the elbows, so I had to let them turn me around and shove me back on the couch. They sat there on either side of me and went back to watching their stupid talent show, and I tried to work my fingers around to find the knot. I tried to to let them see, but Nancy noticed and didn't bother to do anything about it. She knew what she was doing, as it turned out a lot more than I did. A commercial came on and my girl-friend got up to go to the bathroom. I tried to reason with Nancy, and responded by getting up and going to her bedroom for a second, and coming right back out with a handful of scarves. She reaached under her skirt, took off her panties, and before I could resist, stuffed them in my mouth. She took one of the scarves, knotted it and gagged me with it. She told me I'd better keep my mouth closed enough to hide the panties, or my girl-friend would freak out if she knew. And she was right, my girlfriend would have freaked out and even more if she knew how turned on I was getting.

So I suppose I should expand upon what we are seeking so as not to waste anyone's time. I am absolutely not a Dom or even a switch, not really. Not in kink and not in life. But I am looking for a submissive. Who will let me have my way with them like a spoiled child. I want someone so wrapped around my fingers that even though there really aren't any consequences I can give them, and that even though they could over power me or outsmart me they choose not to they choose every second of their submission wholely over and over again. No matter what I am doing to them they choose me as their princess. A submissive daddy type if you will. And daddys arent controlled with fear and pain and neglect but with love and attention and sweet words...and other tantalizing treats.    I feel this is the type of relationship Westley and Buttercup had. Lol.    Ok I am sure I have done a not so stellar job explaining this but hopefully a bit better then before.    Be well everyone.   As always curious friends are always welcome as well.

I genuinely love my boyfriend. I have loved a good number of people but this is the first time I've dated anyone for longer than two weeks who has not been argumentative, selfish, mean, and committed to never understanding me. And more often than not we communicate very well. We have argued twice in almost a year. He is kind and gentle with me. He is thoughtful and generous. He makes me feel calm and at peace. He doesn't behave as if he is irritated with me when I am anxious, depressed, or having panic attacks. He grounds me. He is all of the things I've wanted from all the serious partners I've had in the past.    He has never ever hurt me (except once when he asked me to go home and I took it personally lol).   Absolutely zero of my relationships have ever been this good, the worst being my marriage. I can say I am absolutely happy when I am with him which is what pushed me to want to be happy when I am without him. I had never thought it possible for me to be happy, alone or with another person since I had never been happy in a relationship before. I felt good and would call it happiness but I wasn't happy. Now that happiness is possible I must learn to find it inside of myself which is difficult when you've been miserable for 31 years    So this is what it means to find your person.  He is like starlight, like the laughter of babies, like the colors of the sunrise and the sunset, like the buds in spring, like a glass of refreshing cool water, like a warm hug. He is love. He is safety. Something I never thought I'd ever have. Something I've never seen anyone have in person. Something I didn't expect from what was supposed to be a tinder one night stand.    A one night stand that ended up with us being intertwined so intimately that we are now inseparable.

FYI - to anyone looking - I am pansexual. What that means is that I am attracted to all kinds of people, and their genitals don't really factor into my initial attraction. That said, I do have a "type" where crossdressing is concerned- I am not attracted to children, in any way, so dressing like a little girl in a frilly pink dress and ruffled panties, etc is a turn off to me. I associate that look with toddlers, female toddlers at that, which I associate with tantrums and screaming and stinking diapers and work and stress and being exhausted and a side of misogyny as all that falls on women because the men in their lives are willing to dump it on on us rather than step up and do an actual share of the work.  If dressing that way makes you feel pretty, and feminine, and you enjoy that, more power to you. I wish you lots of dress up time, and fancy frilies that don't chafe. HOWEVER If your goal is to find a Domme, you need to start tailoring your profile and pictures to what appeals to THEM. I don't know how many other Dommes are into that, or are turned on by that look, but I can say it doesn't come up much when we are talking about sexy subs. In order to find a buyer for your fine qualites, you need to advertize the thing that your target market wants to have. You need to find out what that is, and understand that it may not be what you hope it to be.  Or maybe consider a different audience. Plenty of pervy guys that like little girls. Maybe learn to like being liked by someone who likes what you offer, rather than trying to convince someone who doesn't like it to provide it.

I'm grateful to Master Dominus11 for permission to reproduce this entry from His journal.  It so nicely summarises everything I feel! slavery is not about suffering - slavery is about service.slavery is not about humiliation - slavery is about humility.slavery is not about pain - slavery is about being present.slavery is not about being used - slavery is about being of use.slavery is not about control - slavery is about letting go.slavery is not about what is done to you - slavery is about what you do for others.slavery is not about abuse - slavery is about acceptance.slavery is not about proving anything - slavery is about being real. slavery is not about contempt - slavery is about respectslavery is not about how you look - slavery is about how much you care. slavery is not about denying yourself - slavery is about being open slavery is not about bondage - slavery is about freeing your spirit. slavery is not about punishment - slavery is about discipline  slavery is not about being unable to escape - slavery is about being committed slavery is not about submission - slavery is about obedience. slavery is not about fear - slavery is about trust. slavery is not about sex - slavery is about love. slavery is not about pleasure - slavery is about happiness.

So here I am, into my 60s. I've been coming to this website for about 10 years and I don't know why but I keep coming back. I stayed away for a while and then recently decided to update some fotos. And lately I've been getting attention from straight men who are interested in having a fag/sub/slave to use for their pleasure.    It's great. I'm 100% gay and have been since I can remember. And I love almost all aspaspects of dominance and submission, but I have always been attracted to dominant heterosexual men who enjoy using a good, reliable cocksucker. I've had ongoing cocksucker relationships with several along the way and it's always been gratifying for me, and I hope for them.   One man required me to keep my mouth on his cock for our entire meeting. He'd watch straight porn in a big easy chair while I sucked him. If he spoke I had to answer him with a mouth full of his cock. He'd let me relax my jaws every once in a while, and then back on I'd go.   There was another who liked to secure my hands behind my back while I sucked. Another who would stop by after drinking a Big Gulp so he could empty his bladder in me. Those were just the most memorable.   I was just there to be a sexual servant, to be used for someone's pleasure. And that's where I get my pleasure. From making men feel taken care of and satisfied. And if a straight man wants me to suck his dick, it's an honor I don't take lightly.

Seeking a final addition to my home, my pack, my fife. I want someone who identifies as submissive or slave. Someone who would enjoy being part of my kink friendly Famale Domme led pack of hubby and boy, enjoying life with us in our beautiful Florida home. I have a room waiting for you, set up to work from home as I do, and 4 friendly dogs who make life better. I still have my kink room and equipment and crave obedience and someone to use for my sadistic whims. There are not many skills in the kink world I am not skilled in, but there are a few I do not prefer to practice. If you are bi sexual that is great, boy is interested, if you are not that is fine too as I am more than enough Lady for everyone.  I now have a brief chat and meet because waiting has not been productive, a lot of chating then ghosting when it is time to meet. I am real, I live the lifestyle 24/7 but of course I have my vanilla/professional side. I have lots of photos and am not afraid to give you my phone number soon. I do not chat on any of the platforms most seem to ask about.  Reach out, your life can change this year. 

                           LET ME MAKE SOME THINGS CLEAR  DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME MESSAGING ME IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PIC OR PROFILE.  IF YOU DO MESSAGE ME YOU MUST SEND AN ACTUAL MESSAGE. NO ONE LINERS OR ONE ONE WORD MESSAGES DON'T START YOUR MESSAGE OFF WITH Mistress or Goddess. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN GIVEN PERMISSION TO ADDRESS ME AS SUCH.    I'M NOT HERE TO FINANCIALLY SUPPORT YOU!!!!!! Lady Raven   

I must be a masochist, because I can't seem to leave this site completely, even though I know how much it fucking sucks. It's like we're all just trolling the bottom of the barrel of humanity here trying to find a dream partner that doesn't actually exist. And yet, here we all still are, day after fucking day...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

  MistressVN: bi, 40 years BDSM experience.   164 cm, 53 kg, blonde with long hair, green-blue eyes. Feminine, elegant, classy, ESTJ (The Supervisor) personality type.   I am searching for a slave for 24/7, TPE, FLR serious, permanent live-in relation.   I AM A MISTRESS SEEKING A SLAVE, NOT A DOM SEARCHING FOR SUBMISSIVE!!!   5 basic traits for a candidate to meet the criteria of a slave:   Honest Devoted Pleaser Industrious Altruist   To be My slave, you also need to be social and single.   Check your personality type on Truity.com and let Me know your four letter combination type.   Check the above in order to save time for both parts. If any of the mentioned is not part of your character, you should move on.   With this said: read carefully below and I mean carefully, because I will know if you did as soon as you contact Me.   I am clean, disease free and expect the same from you.   Bondage, dildos, dominance are some of the activities I will make you part of, you will wear chastity belt and will be totally submitted to Me.   HOWEVER, THE MAIN FOCUS WILL BE ON SERVICE!!   I accept obedient novice who has the will to serve. Ideal Person:   Committed Genuinely submissive,   Organized and disciplined slave for personal services, 24/7 live-in,   permanent/long term relation. Obedient Healthy Ready to relocate within reasonable time You are into BD (bondage & domination) but not into hard SM.   Position open ONLY for long term/PERMANENT slave!!!   Kindly READ BELOW and CONSIDER, BEFORE you write to Me:  

Meeting Derek Mears last Saturday at Days Of The Dead Atlanta (2/22/25) was AWESOME!  So glad he didn't cancel this time, he was SO FRIENDLY SO CHATTY. Lol He really seems to enjoy going to horror conventions to meet and mingle with fans, like Myself, I managed to upload a pic of Derek Mears and myself to share. Yes he is really tall, but not meanacing at all. Lol No! He really is a gentle giant of a man in person.  Smiles  Hope to run into Derek Mears again at another Days Of The Dead, and I was so sad to hear about Tony Todd passing away last year.   RIP Candyman 

Absolutely no idea where this came from but it resonates so profoundly!   The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and seeks. The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the drive and enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation.  They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her, as well as in life. Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating;  and be able to translate that into the right thing to do. The “doing or saying without having to be told” type. The submissive begs easily and surrenders sweetly. They understand the concept of respect and surrender and can make it happen after initial learning with little or no additional instructions. They embrace the surrender gratefully and lovingly. These individuals usually form very intimate relationships. There is not much downside to these relationships, because they not only grasp the concepts, but can make it happen as well, and their attraction is based on a strong mutual respect.  Their strong relationship is not readily apparent to the unobservant, but they are always subtly in the 24/7 mode. The fact that these things come forth naturally and without the need for orders is a great source of pride, satisfaction, and loving. They are the opposite side of the coin from the Authoritarian. Whose pride, satisfaction, and love come from strictness and forbearance.  

I am not looking for casual, short term or long distance anything.  If that's you move along With you an an experienced Slave or Submissive on a daily basis ( not solely a play bottom for the bedroom = no thanks) who lives in London/Essex/Kent. Don't bother if you are more than 2 hours from those locations. 

The desire to be dominated It's perfectly normal for men and women immersed in BDSM to have specific desires and fantasies, such as the desire to be dominated. The lifestyle encompasses a wide range of activities and dynamics, and it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner(s) to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and consents to the activities taking place. In the realm of the BDSM lifestyle, communication and consent are paramount. Before engaging in any routine activities, it's crucial to have a conversation with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and limits. Establishing a safe word is also essential to ensure both parties can stop the activities if necessary. Remember that BDSM should always be safe, sane, and consensual. It's essential to prioritize the safety and well-being of all involved parties. If you're new to the lifestyle or have specific questions or concerns, it's a good idea to seek out resources and educational materials, or even consider attending workshops or discussions within the BDSM community. Ultimately, your interests and desires in the lifestyle are personal, and as long as they are consensual and safe, it's a valid aspect of your sexuality. It's essential to find like-minded persons who can share your interests and engage in these activities with respect and understanding. If you have any specific questions or need advice concerning our lifestyle topics or anything else related to your interests, feel free to ask. I'm here to provide information and guidance based on your preferences.

Here it is years later and still the same guys looking for the same old thing. While I don't mind the admiration from those who contact me, it seems like all they want is to be dominated and used sexually. When I ask them what else can they offer, all I get is the usual. "I'm a great cocksucker." "I'll take your hands up my ass anyday." "I'm great at house cleaning" YADDA YADDA YADDA!!! If all you're going to offer me is a piece of meat, than no thanks. Do you have a brain? Can you understand big words and know how to use them? Can you put a sentence together without a lot of ums and uhhs? Do you know what's going on in the world? So if you're a box of rocks, with not a brain cell in your head, move on move on. And here I am....still looking. Sigh!

I’m funny, strong, sick and alone. I wear a sold-thick mask. Only i choose who will get to see my truth and when. Today and tonight are hard. I don’t like where I am or how I am. I feel desperate for dick for a, tongue even teeth. My neck is naked and breasts - nipples are tingling . Even fat there are places you can feel bones. My ass is high and wide easy to spread and enter. Go slow so we both feel you break through that first sphincter- oh so good, you’ll decide when to do that again. The feeling is pleasure but also demonstrates your power over me. Put me on my belly, lay me on my back, cl my hands and ride me like I’m a horse- hold me down whisper into my ear, bite my skin and enjoy me, long and hard, mmmm. By now my cunt has created a puddle of my juices. Lips are wide gapping open waiting to be entered, i moan as you hit my back wall and I clench as i cum and again. You hit my crevicx, oh my breath pushes out of me. I am cuming again and again. Vagina spasms over and over. I clench down and hold you. You look confused, i laugh and let you go. You turn me over and we kiss passionately you reach up and put a hand on my throat, a bit harder as i slip into subspace. You let go, my eyes are glassy and I smile slowly and quietly.  Mmm i pur. You turn me on my side, you insert a dildo into one hole and yourself into the other, fuck me until you cum - you stay a minute and the cum slides out of me as you do. We sleep facing and touching each other. What do you think?

So glad to finally be back. I have attempted to make an account and it wouldn't allow for it. I miss the CM days with the chat feature...I am finding it quite interesting that there are so many users, fellow Kinksters still remaining here for so long. Many of the new apps and sites are seemingly full of hook-up seekers. Not genuine Dominants.  If You read this, please note: I am not here for cyber and I am not looking to be collared overnight...this is a process and both parties MUST have needs filled. Thanks For Reading! 

I've recently had the chance to think about TPE more, and I decided that there are ultimately four types, three of which I consider acceptable. In order of intensity, there is first the type, which is simply pushing past where a sub/slave would normall safeword, but not pushing so far that the subconcious is actually forced to acknowledge that they are not in control. This is a stage where a slave is usually begging or angry. The second is the type that I practice currently. Pushing past where people think their limit is, past the second limit where their subconscious gives and realizes that it can only endure, but not going past the last one. The one that makes the mind retreat and can cause trauma. I just brush up against it. The third is when someone deliberately breaks through that last barrier, repeatedly doing so in order to shape the slave into what they desire, using that shaping to subsume other desires and wants, to change who they are at the core level. This is acceptable when a Master has the time, will, and facilities to manage fully breaking a slave, and a slave has agreed beforehand. The last is just the territory of psychopaths, just breaking for the sake of breaking, to do as much damage as possible, and only for their own amusement.

I’m pleasantly surprised to find the journal feature is fully functional, things seem to be constantly improving here on Collarspace. I’ve always worked to be honest and transparent on ‘singles’ sites as well as those focused on kink/power exchange. Out of privacy interests some of my personal information is approximate, but I’m happy to clear up any questions you might have.  I’m thoroughly divorced/single, and any children I have are fully emancipated yet extremely important in my life.   Though single, I’m not promiscuous nor am I a ‘player’.  I really prefer to get to know a woman before things get ‘too’ physical.  I don’t want to break any hearts and I would prefer not to have mine broken either.  I would dearly love to get to get to know you if what I share here is resonating with you.   I’ve had the honor of being able to talk with and correspond with several quality women through this site.  Through sincere communication two Dommes have told me they think I am ‘kinky’, but not a ‘submissive’.  I respect and appreciate these insights but they leave me a little confused. I’ve always been seeking a Domme here, but in real life I am typically Alpha in my intimate relationships.  When a man is with a woman who enjoys and thrives under that dynamic it’s been counterproductive to share my submissive kink with my partner in the past.  That’s why I’m trying to be as open and transparent as I can in this initial meeting/exploring phase so I don’t waste your time.  I guess I could be considered ‘kinky’ as I am very heterosexually open-minded as I’m pretty open to trying new tgs that my partner might suggest, but I still have many submissive fantasies and crave playing that role for a woman as I have done in the past.  I had a very exciting relationship several years ago with a woman on the east coast, that showed me what was possible and left me craving more. She was vastly more experienced than I was/am and I truly began to fear the direction things were heading.  Once connecting through Alt.com - when it was still usable - she immediately took complete control and had me completely off-balance, I was naive as to what it meant when she told me she was a sadist, and I had no idea the effects constant strategic humiliation could have: Stockholm syndrome. This taught me how important investing in communication and building trust is before delving deep into a Dome/sub dynamic is.   I love the idea and experience of power/exchange, but I’m mainly a pleaser. I really don’t have fetishes as without some kind of connection with the woman I’m not going to be interested in power exchange or even vanilla intimacy.  This is my first real journal entry, I think it best to keep them fairly brief. Hopefully it posts flawlessly and I will be inspired to think of other things I can share with the special woman I hope to meet if she finds me here…

Woo-hoo approved.  I kept it fairly safe cause I've heard of so many others having issues. As stated I was around when it was collarme.  Probably 2005 until it went poof.  So thrilled to see this new site. I did in fact meet quite a few men from that site over the years.  Some were one offs.  Some were play partners for a while.  Some we just weren't as compatible in person.   I do my best to avoid the latter issue by getting to know someone enough prior to meeting.  Ensuring our wants and needs are both going to be met and that expectations are realistic.  If someone cannot engage my mind prior to meeting I already know that won't happen magically just because we do meet.   I am genuinely a kind person.  I can come across bitchy because of my writing style and bluntness.  I also do not have much patience for those who will not read and are here due to boredom or for me to entertain them via writing and pics.  I am looking for real time meets.  That is all. I do lean submissive.  I love being used.  I am not an idiot or a brainless child.  I am a slut first who also happens to be submissive. If "training" is in your repertoire move on.  That's a game I'm not into.  I'm also not into submissive men or switches.   I am simply not attracted to them. I want people to reach out but please be interested in real time and local.  If men would respect what women want I think both our experiences on this site would be so much better.   I will post more and get into the good stuff.  Take care for now!

 butler in a home is responsible for a wide range of duties and responsibilities, including: Managing household staff: Overseeing and training other domestic workers to ensure smooth operations. Planning and managing events: Organizing and coordinating events and receptions. Personal assistance: Providing personal service to the household members and managing their schedules. Dining service: Delivering high-standard table service and managing dining etiquette. Household maintenance: Ensuring the cleanliness and organization of the home. Budgeting and accounts: Overseeing household accounts and budgeting. Security: Ensuring the safety and security of the home. Confidentiality: Maintaining discretion and upholding the highest standards of&nbs

Fair WARNING    I WILL NOT deal with FAKES/or time wasters at all. The first time anything isn’t done the correct way I will block you immediately.   Everyone’s time is precious DONT WASTE MINE. As my time is EXTREMELY VALUABLE! I want what I want and WILL NOT SETTLE FOR A IDIOT THAT CANT COMPLETE A SIMPLE TASK.   #FrustratedGoddess 

Psst... It's secret time. Pinky swear you won't go and tell? I'm trusting you since we're journal friends. I follow two journals: 1. A delightful crotchety and humorous dominant man who shares brief opinions from time to time. He's clever and funny and doesn't really care what you think. I dig it.   2. An eloquent dominant female who shares song lyrics, poetry, and conversations over tea. She elevates this place. I would love to go into a used book shop with her.  Okay, here's the secret part where it gets a little weird. I do not follow but I look for two other journals. The first is a dominant male who I am pretty sure is certifiably mad. I won't officially follow him to ensure I stay off of his radar as a precaution- sacrificial lamb is not my kink. But you better believe I scroll the journals to catch any new entries.* The other is a dominant male who often posts. I think he is some sort of AI. Hear me out. All of the sentiments match to the point of being repetitive. With poor grammar. It's like riding a hamster wheel. Someone requested it, AI produced it, it was slapped in a journal, and there's a psychologist teaming with a scientist in the background monitoring to see who falls for it. I can't picture someone producing the same phrases over and over. Even the mad hatter doesn't do that. Has to be a bot.  No, I won't tell you who they are, don't ask. If you know, you know. And if you're the psychologist and scientist letting me know that I figured it out, do put a rush on that.  *My crotchety friend is also fascinated with the mad hatter's entries. I knew he was good people. 

Computer Log 2023/12/23 Well, first time has gone well. Met several men, no women in sight.  Oh!  Not true. I met a lovely lady that is part of a partnership who runs a bnb and sponsors play events on the coast. That is a dream!  I would give a lesser favored digit to attend one of those weekends.  I am so very eager to learn both sides of Dom/Sub relationships. I'm a natural Switch with Dom leanings. I think I might make a feisty sub, unless I employed my pretty strong self-discipline.  I don't know. I'm eager, so eager. But tonight, too many messages to respond to and I've lots to do before we move.  If people would like my friendship, and possibly more, disclosure is helpful. One new friend is married, and to that disclosure, I applaud. I'm very faithful, honest, open and open-minded. I do not wish to engage in play with persons in "monogamous" relationships, without the knowledge and approval of both parties. I'll be friends with anyone, as long as my boundaries are respected.  I think you could call me an Earthy type. I'm just the girl next door who just happens to enjoy having fun in new and creative ways.  I consider myself a neurd. I'm neuro-atypical, intelligent, creative, and "disabled" because of chronic pain conditions. I'll tell you more if you want to know.  I'm versatile in life, as in sex. If I had the proper clothing, you could take me to a symphony one day and I'd fish with you the next, cleaning and fileting my own catch.  I'm looking forward to my new life in a new city. I'm working on myself in myriad ways.    Life is for growing, not stagnation. 

It appears part of our profile is missing our instructions for applying to be our slave so here is the first step again   TO BE CONSIDERED THE FIRST STEP IS TO GIVE A LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF SO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING   WHAT PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE DO YOU HAVE IN THE LIFESTYLE? WHAT SKILLS DO YOU HAVE TO BRING TO THE HOUSEHOLD? ARE YOU EMPLOYED? IF NOT YOU WILL GET A JOB. DO YOU HAVE ANY HEALTH ISSUES?  WHAT ARE YOUR VANILLA INTERESTS? WHAT ARE YOUR KINKS? DO YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH SERVING IN A POLY HOUSE WITH MULTIPLE SLAVES BOTH FEMALE AND MALE?  DO YOU HAVE ANY LEGAL ISSUES TO SORT OUT?  ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS AND ONCE YOU DO WE WILL GO FROM THERE ANSWERING NONE TO Q1 OR YES TO Q4 DOES NOT HINDER YOUR ABILITY TO BE OUR SLAVE IT IS JUST THINGS WE NEED TO KNOW FOR YOUR SAFETY AND WELLBEING 

Well, ladies and gents, the holiday season is again upon us. I'm debating with myself whether to invite several friends over once again or just have a quiet, eventless evening at home for Thanksgiving.   Last year I did a 20Lb turkey, in my outdoor air fryer, which turned out much better than I expected. It is a lot of work to put together a huge meal with all the fixings.  I will have to thank my mother when I see her again up yonder for all her work.  Maybe I will link up with a woman who is by herself this season and is seeking a Dom of her own to hold and cherish?  It would be nice going into the holidays and especially Christmas!  If not, I'll go to my church's Christmas Eve candlelight service again. Perhaps there is a woman who would like to spend the holidays with me, and join me for Christmas?   Lost 2 friends this past year and one cousin my age.  LIFE is SHORT and Quickly catches up with us all! 

Journal Update - November 2024 I'm Tara and I'm coming back to this site afgter having nearly given up on everything and being lost for a while. I am pre-op trans. I was on hormones, but the health scare I have took me off them for a while. I won't be able to recommence them until January 2025. If that's a problem for you I entirely understand.I've got a lot of kinky hobbies, one that some people know about me is that I have worn chastity since March 2020. I unlock once a week for shaving and cleaning. I switch between two very small devices which can go largely unnoticed under most of my wardrobe.I live 24/7 as a woman. I do have some real struggles with dysphoria, the person I see when I see myself in the mirror often doesn't match how I feel. I wish the NHS moved faster. I want to do this all right so am not taking shortcuts.I love, and I mean really LOVE bondage. Put me in cuffs and a collar and I will melt into submission. Over the next few weeks I think i am going to use the journal to share some of my past expereinces.Tara xox  

OK, so here's the second installment of my new profile: Still here? Still interested? Now on to the kink stuff...## ***Kink information***### **Things that i know about myself that i want more of in my life****my rubber self**I enjoy wearing layers of loose fitting full enclosure rubber, with a hood, gloves, gasmask, and socks. If you are dressed in any amount of rubber, that would be great. I'm happy to be with people wearing all kinds of clothing and gear, or nothing at all. I will be in full enclosure rubber myself.**My submissive self:**i am looking to become a rubber gimp or drone slave, i.e. used like a slave and stored like a gimp. i want to try out & test myself & to see if i do want to be a gimp slave in reality as compared to fantasy. i have lots of solo experience, but very little in-person real-life experience, so a lot of what i want to do is not informed my real-world experience.As your rubber gimp slave i want to to provide protected and safe sexual service to my dominant person while in layers of full enclosure rubber, gagged, blindfolded, leashed, cuffed, plugged and entubed & also some or all of the following: bondage, behaviour control, breath control, piss play, cart & dressage pony play, being controlled, financial domination & doing housework.my attitude is that bondage is about training and getting used to wearing rubber gear on a longterm basis, and so i am seeking to serve you by being forced into and kept in rubber gear, and learning to safely overcome the challenges that come with that. However more importantly, the full rubber gear is a means to an end where i can much better service You.i want to make Your life easier. i will pull my own weight by working in Your home or outside it while in rubber to earn income for the household. i am not no-limits rubber slave.---**As an equal:** I am into long sessions of mutual cuddling, kissing, body stroking in layers of heavy rubber. I am really interested to try living as rubber drones in a hive with contracts and rules that govern the behaviour of the hive and its members, such as these concepts and contracts by [Unit03](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164): - [The concept of a rubber hive: an introduction](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164/posts/6373426)- [Rubber Hive Contracts (or other kink between equals)](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164/posts/6412980)- [Model Short-Term Hive Contract](https://fetlife.com/users/8849164/posts/6413413)## **Limits**Explicit and enthusiastic consent is the sexiest thing. Don't fucking touch me without asking, even (especially!) if I'm in full rubber, naked or wearing something skimpy. Ask nicely and you might be surprised.My limits:-     no blood-     no needles-     no intentionally broken skin-     no scat-     no vomit-     no tickling-     no rimming (giving)-     no marks visible to the vanilla world-     no permanent marks-     no blows to the head-     no sudden neck/head movements-     no sudden loud noises-     no oral, vaginal or anal sex without a condom.## **Safer sex**Asking for (or assuming!) unprotected sex when we are new or casual play partners is a red flag.### **Things that i don't know about myself, and i want to explore to see if i want more in my life**i knew from an early age that i was into rubber. However, there are some bdsm activities that aren't easily compatible with rubber, and so i have never explored them. In 2023, i am realising that i want to try these to see if i also like them, and that if i want to try them, that i have to take off my rubber skin (which is a bit scary). This is what i'd like to try:- sensation play- impact play (whips, floggers, paddles, spanking)- rope bondage- wax play- high protocol- oral and vaginal sex with people of all genders

Time to clarify a few things, I guess. I wrote something to help clarify an age bracket I am interested in and why… but I guess on a sit like this I need to narrow it down a little further.   IF you were born with two X chromosomes, i.e. what the human race once called female… I have zero interest in dating you. If you live your life proud of those two X chromosomes we can be good friends!   IF you were born with one X and one Y chromosome, i.e. what the human race once called male… AND you live your life proudly as a fully blooded man, AND you are local, AND you are not married, OR living with someone, OR have a LTR significant other, AND you are gainfully employed (or independently wealthy and thus not needing employment) AND you have a residence (your mothers basement and brothers-in-laws garage do not count) AND you have transportation (Public electric scooters do not count) AND you like to chant Let’s Go BRANDON!… THEN, you have made it through the initial screening process and we can start chatting…   IF you have rainbows for anything other than the promise of God on your profile… you should probably not contact me. IF you like to wag your hand when you talk for reasons other than being Italian, you should probably not contact me. IF you have to practice speaking in high pitches, you should probably not contact me. IF you have to decide between apples and socks in your bra, you should probably not contact me (Unless the cause is cancer related) IF you need a tuck it bathing suit, you should probably not contact me. IF you have two XX chromosomes and look like a cancer patient for no reason, you should probably not contact me. IF you have a Y Chromosome and wear makeup and are not an actor or news anchor, you should probably not contact me. IF you are a bottom, realize you can contact me, but it will be friends only. (Same for most switches) IF you are far away, it is pretty pointless to contact me. I can keep going but I am getting bored and if this doesn’t get the point across I don’t’ know what will.   Oh and if you want to friend me… I am flattered… but maybe try speaking to me? I am not a check mark to tally up on your friends list, actually make a friend of me. Like a box pops up and asks you, do you know this person, are they a friend, and you click yes, and you haven’t read my profile, or spoken to me… and I am supposed to agree, and say, oh yeah, that imbecile is my buddy! Yeah, nope. I only bite if you like it…

My best friend has self terminated on Jan 26.I have always been one to put my best face forward, but I am not sure how I am going to be able to do that in the days to come. I had no warning, and I cannot understand why he has not reached out to me. To talk to me. I feel that if he had reached out to me I'd have talked him back from the ledge. I was supposed to buy him a beer when I saw him next, and him to buy me one in return. We were supposed to talk about the old days. Is this what growing old is?  To take all thsoe who you love, and those who love you in return? If so, I do not want to grow any older. I am done. I'd rather sleep a thousand years and hope that the passage of time deadens the pain in my heart. I am in my 40's and should not feel this pain. I should not be feeling this pain. I feel it is too soon. Family.... I get it.... but my brothers in arms.... It's too soon. 

Sally’s PCThe phone rang, I answered.A lady's voice on the other end. Her name was Sally. (Not her real name).Sally said she desperately needed help with her computer, which booted okay but could not use to due to some viruses popping up when using any of the browsers.We made visiting arrangements. It was early afternoon when I parked my car and knocked on her door.Sally was about 5’2” tall, slightly plump, with lovely green eyes and very long dark hair almost reaching her waistline. She was in her mid-forties.She leads me to the computer. After booting the PC with my own recovery (Linux) disk, I managed to recover all her data and photos onto another disk within a few hours.Whilst checking her system, I noticed that Sally had visited lots of dodgy sites. I asked Sally if she had any of the original disks. I said we may not need them but just in case I needed to do a full recovery.She said they are in the box above the cupboard. She went out of the room to fetch the step ladder. I realised that I may be able to reach the box without the ladder. As I pulled the box over, an original Scottish leather tawse fell into my hands. I put the dusty box on the floor whilst the leather tawse was still in my hands. Sally walked into the room with the step ladder and saw the tawse in my hand and rushed over to retrieve it. I quickly raised the tawse above my head and out of her reach. I noticed she looked rather embarrassed and was blushing. Sally was quite a bit shorter than me so was not able to take it off my hand. I said, “ah ah, not so fast”.I took a few steps backwards and brushed off the dust from the leather tawse and examined it. I flicked it in the air a few times to see how it felt and see if the leather was still in good condition. I said, "It looks like this has not been used for sometime now".She said, "No, it hasn’t, now give it back to me, it is private".I said, "Well, it fell from the top of the box and the reason your PC came to a halt is directly related to the websites you visited and having seen the photos you have download, I am sure the falling of the strap into my hands was a message that must not be ignored."She said, "you must be joking!" I said, "No, it is for your own benefit, so why don't you bend over that table. I promise you will feel much better afterwards”.She said, "No way, I am doing no such thing"I said, "Well, in that case, I will have to place you across my knees and spank your bottom by hand before using the strap!"This went on for some fifteen minutes before she agreed to be disciplined but refused to remove any of her clothing. So she went over to the table and leaned over until her arms and head were resting on the table. I administered three mild strokes with the leather strap, taking my time. Her bottom twitched. I could feel that I had to take it easy as she had not been disciplined for a long time. I could also sense that she was quite enjoying this episode. I said to her that discipline had to be carried out on the bare bottom. With that, I quickly raised her skirt and pulled her knickers down. She started getting up and resisted, saying, no no stop that, that is not fair. I said, "Stop resisting, you know it is for your own good. You also know that discipline has to be on the bare bottom! If you don't take your hand off and stay still, I am going to give you 30 with this leather strap!" She calmed down and placed her hands by the side of her head on the table. She had a lovely bottom. It was easy to tell that it had not been spanked in a very long time. I administered six with the leather strap on her large round bare bottom, taking my time between each stroke and making sure it landed nicely where it should. With each stroke, her bottom got marked with a red stripe. After the six strokes, her bottom was glowing red with strap marks. I checked her bottom to make sure it was all fine and that she was okay. She stood up and I could see she had tears in her eyes. I said she had been very good. She dashed upstairs without saying a word. I carried on sorting out the PC. Sally was upstairs for some forty minutes, I guess to reflect on what just happened and recompose herself. She came back downstairs looking very cheerful and happy. I stood up as she walked into the room and she came straight over and hugged me tightly. She said, “Thank You”. I had almost completed the work on the PC. She offered me a coffee and we sat on her sofa having a lovely chat about all sorts of things. It felt like some weight had been lifted off from her shoulders and she felt happy in her inner self. Two weeks later, I received a call from Sally, asking me if I could be her mentor and administer discipline when I felt it was necessary. There were a few areas she wanted help with as she got out of line and off-track quite quickly. I visited her on regular basis for three years, we drew up an improvement plan in areas such as tidiness, de-cluttering, weight loss and impulse buying. Discipline was administered twice a month on her bare bottom using the original Scottish leather Lochgelly tawse, was 11mm thick, 5.5cm wide and 45cm long (7/16” x 2” x 18" ) . I always carried out the warmup first by hand. She responded very well to the program and became very obedient. She even thanked me sometimes after the discipline had been administered.

MY PROFILE 2 JUNE 2026. 19H39 GMT There are four fingers and one thumb. Soul, Heart, Mind, Body create a person and the Thumb with is the moral code. Without the Thumb, the fingers can do very little. I am not looking for 8 billion hands that fit into mine. Just one. His hand fits mine and mine fits his. One hand is out there. I have faith that he is there. It is all about the timing. I want to know he has the same moral code as mine. No matter our past but who he is today. He might not even be on this site.......Please, I repeat, PLEASE tell me, in your first message, what your relationship with the G-d of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is? The man for me follows that moral code.   Now lets address Dueteronomy 5. If you are still with me on this introductory journey. Dominants dominate, but what is their moral code? That is my first question. Where is your code coming from? and were is your focus? Where is your submission? ************************************ I am currently in London. for the next little while flat-sitting but will move out in due course. My previous Dom has recently died, after a battle with cancer. We met on this site in 2012, just chatting and again in 2017. Then I came to live with him in London. We had a brief time as intimates but it changed and he remained my friend for  the next 7 years. We spent lockdown together and he knew me like nobody else has. He was also my advisor and I considered him as my Dom if any had asked. (He did not release me so I remained his submissive and I always turned to him for any sort of council and support. He only released me a few months before he died because I asked him too. He saw it as a formality, I felt it as a soul releasing moment.) I have been celibate since 2018. There has not been anyone else. Yes, some online flirts over the last 3 years but nothing that went past online for a few weeks at most. One reason being I was in Africa for 3 years and that was a very busy time indeed. During the time since 2020, G-d found a place in me that was very empty and very dark. I needed HIM. What was needed was that solo and deep exploration of the Divine Role in my existence. He has became as close as my breathing is.  I had always been spiritually searching since I can remember but avoided the Abrhamic G-d. I surrendered in 2020 and by His Grace alone, I have changed. NOT overnight, but slowly. What it has done is evolve the inner submissive that I was into a the new creature that I am. It was not all smooth sailing and many time I relapsed into old patterns of thinking and behaviour that were linked to fear and guilt and shame. But I am have built increasingly stronger moral boundaries. Morality is a muscle. We will find resistance in other people to our moral boundary but that is what also strenghtens it. It does suprise folks who always knew me as a push-over. I was weak. My strength comes from G-d and His codes and rules. The Man that will want me is the Man who has the same boundaries as me, the same codes as me, the same outlook on life as me. Not codes I am making up but that are Holy and in the Scriptures. Whatever our past was, we both know what we want in the future. Monogamy, LTR, dare I say the word on this site, Marriage.    So I repeat: I do not go out of what is the moral ethics of safe sane and consensual. I will state my boundaries clearly, should we converse. THERE IS A QUICK PROCESS OF ELIMINATION that takes place. I read your profiles before I write back to you. I know many have not updated them in years. But that is who you are stating you are. We go by what is written on your signpost. We are older now, there is not a few years to 'try' somebody out and see if it works or not. I made that mistake twice before in concubinage situations. I was also married before but NONE of them obeyed the Abrahamic Laws and neither did I. We fell into holes and traps that we could of avoided, but the moral code was a patch work of modern thinking and personal addictions.   So, that said, let me continue: Part of this is also, for me, a intrinsic understanding of the feminine nature flowering in the presence of an self aware and Dominant man. As I prefer not to expound this realization here, as it is not feasible for the majority to understand the link between the creature and the Creator unless they live it. Why explain it ? None of this will ring true with you unless you have experienced it yourself. If you do not have the living experience of G-d inside of you, NOTHING I say will make any sense whatsoever. We simply could not even imagine living together either. Anything I could type will be read not as an explanation but rather as a sermon.   This is the end. As they limit the number of characters we can use.

24/7 Dominant/submissive/slave Contract Part 1 24/7 Dominant/submissive/slave Contract I, (submissive), with a free mind and open heart request of IntotheKnight that he accept the submission of my will unto him. I ask that as my Dominant, IntotheKnight takes me into his care and guidance and encourages growth together in love, trust, and mutual respect. It is my desire as a submissive to satisfy his needs and desires whenever possible, in hopes that I will be found pleasing to him. In order to do so, I offer him the use of my body, abilities, and purpose. Further, I ask that as my Dominant, he will accept the responsibility of using my body for the fulfillment and enhancement of both of our sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs. In order to achieve this, he has unrestricted use of my body any time, any place, and in front of anyone as he determines appropriate. As a Dominant, IntotheKnight may bestow upon me any symbol of ownership, including a collar, as well as any other future marks or tokens he may wish to bestow upon me. Symbols of ownership are to be a visible reminder of status and will be worn with pride. Section One: Code of Conduct Duties of Servitude Above all, the primary duty of this submissive is to please.Personal Duties: Attend to the physical and emotional needs of IntotheKnight, behave as his sexual plaything, offer physical comfort, act in obedience, remain honest and loyal, wait on the Dominant as desired.Household Duties: Cleaning and maintaining the home, laundry, shopping, cooking and baking, running all errands as needed. Any task assigned should be considered permanent until further notice. Tasks may be added at any time.General Behavior. Attitude: As a submissive, I will show an attitude of respect at all times. Disrespect is a serious offense and will be punished.Respect includes: manner of speech, promptness, proper answers, obedience, and wholehearted honesty.Respect and obedience are the two most valuable ects of attitude that I will show at all times. Failure to do so will be punished. Behavior in PrivateI shall address IntotheKnight as “Sir” or “Master” at all available times. I will pay full attention to him when being spoken to.My Dominant is more important than any other activity I may be engaged in with the exclusion of immediate child care needs.I will sit, stand, walk, and lay where, when, and how he desires.Behavior in Public I will address my Dominant by his given name or “Master” at all times when there is not enough privacy to use the aforementioned “Sir.”I will remain within eyesight of my Master unless permission is given to do otherwise. -I will be courteous and prompt at all times.I will dress as IntotheKnight desires. I will do my best to always have a put together appearance in any social setting where I represent my Master.I will not argue or complain in public.Training Training activities will include: domestic skills training, offering of self every evening on bent knees, proper answers, orgasm control, anal training to increase my ability to offer every hole as he wishes, learning to present myself as a submissive full of poise, grace, and beauty in public and private, learning protocols and rituals throughout this contract on an as-needed basis; any other training activities as IntotheKnight deems fit. Orgasm Control I am to achieve orgasm only by express permission of IntotheKnight.I understand that a submissive’s orgasms are controlled for proper training and reminding me that it is with my Dominant’s good grace that sexual pleasure is brought, providing motivation, physical and sexual energy. IntotheKnight will allow me this reward when he desires.Punishment Punishment will be given for the following offenses: Cockiness/rudenessDisobedienceIncorrectly addressing IntotheKnightFailing to properly serveAchieving orgasm without consentAny other punishable offense as dictatedForms of Punishment Punishments can include: spanking, nipple pinching, cropping, hair pulling, withholding of orgasm, caning, any other punishment as he sees fit.  

2023-02-21 - Guy read a story and wants a replay USING HIM Read more stories at www.SirKel.top    I had been chatting with a new guy on FetLife. We're going to call him Pennsylvania Redstripe. He read one of my stories at my website www.SirKel.top titled "Forced to be my fagot" and said he wanted the same experience.   He had Dominatrix experience but I don't think he had ever had a Male Dom control him. I'm pretty certain he had sucked cock before but only while being used as a cuckold. After chatting online and then texting for a week or two we finally set up a meeting.   Driving all the way to Kent, Ohio from Pennsylvania was slightly over a 1 hour trip for him. But he arrived just a few minutes early, I was impressed he scheduled it so perfectly with his long drive.   As he had read in many of my other stories, when he first came in he stood there and waited for my first command. Which of course was, "strip."   He quickly stripped and put all of his clothing on the chair where he was directed to place them. Then he just stood there for a moment as I looked him over.   I walked to him and put velcro restraints on his wrists. These are very nice velcro restraints that are normally used for ankles when connected to some form of bungee cord for exercise. They have D shaped rings on them. I had a cl and was going to cl his wrists behind his back, but I could clearly see he was extremely nervous. So I decided to wait.   He had warned me of bad knees, so I had a couple couch pillows on the floor in front of the couch. I told him to get on his knees, on the couch pillows, facing the couch.   He walked to the couch and dropped to his knees. I came up behind him and slipped a leather hood over his head. This was exactly like the story that he had read and wanted to be part of. I lined up the eye holes and the mouth hole and began tightening the leather Hood from behind. It's laced up the back.   Obviously I started with the laces at the top, pulling and tugging, tightening them as I worked my way down to the base of the back of his neck. I continued to tighten, checking most importantly that the mouth hole was properly centered. Once it was completely tightened I wound up the extra cord and tucked it under the neck of the leather mask.   I slipped a blindfold over the mask covering his eyes. I slid around in front of him and sat back on the couch. This was very similar to the story he read, and I'm sure his mind was racing, not knowing exactly what was going on in front of him but hearing my motion and movement directly in front of him now.   With both hands I grabbed the sides of the leather mask and started pulling him forward and down toward my cock. I wasn't completely hard, but I was hard enough for him to get the first taste of my cock as I shoved his mouth down.   He was startled at first, I think I reached in with my fingers and pried his mouth open a bit wider and then shoved him further down on my cock. There are no ear holes in the leather Hood, so quite loudly I barked out the command, "suck my cock fagot, that's what you're here for, get to it."   He started sucking on my cock and it began to grow quickly. Soon his mouth was filled with my cock. He started to cough and sputter a bit, so I gave him just a second to catch his breath, then grab the top of his head and forced him all the way down to my balls.   Eventually we got into a nice rhythm. He was still slightly reluctant, but his body language was telling me he was starting to relax. His body wasn't quite as stiff as it was, he was getting used to being a cocksucker. My cocksucking fag.   I continued to berate him verbally, forcing him deep onto my cock, occasionally giving him a chance to catch his breath. At one point I pulled my cock out and pushed him onto my balls, without being told he knew to lick and clean my balls and taint.   I had planned to eventually put him flat on the floor face up and sit on his face making him eat my ass. From our conversations he was looking forward to it. But as luck would have it I either had a nasty pimple or the beginning of a boil, and definitely did not want to subject anyone, even him, to that.   He was actually getting to be a pretty good cocksucker. I had to pull him off my cock a couple times. Watching his leather clad head bounce up and down on my cock was extremely hot to watch.   I definitely didn't want to shoot my load yet so I told him we were going to head upstairs. I think by this time the eye mask had slipped off so I didn't bother putting it back so he could follow me up the steps to the bedroom.   When we got upstairs I directed him to The far side,

UPDATE ON MOBILITY ISSUES 2/16/2025.  The mobility issues I have will probably not improve.  The back can only be changed with surgeries that require breaking the spinal column and placing metal supports around it.  It is an extremely lengthy process with an even longer recovery time and there are absolutely no guarantees of success.  That diagnosis was bleak but the knee and hip surgeon will not do any work until I can stand upright.  That is not an option given the path to get there.  My physical therapist says I can only work on keeping the process from getting worse, not making it better. So here we are. UPDATE ON SITUATION AND LIFE ISSUES:  You may or may not know but updating a profile requires weeks of waiting and inability to receive any correspondence during that waiting time.  I think that is why so many profiles are outdated, especially on the age of the profile owner.  I am one of the ones who have not done an update so here are the new things one should know: I will be 78 in October I have a collared slave I found at the very end of 2015 and I offered him his collar in April of 2021. I am looking for another to join us in our family but that person will need to be very unique.  Notice I said our family meaning both of us need to approve the person.  That part is very difficult to accomplish with long distances from each other.  My current slave committed to a 30 day trial and chose not to leave at the end of it.  He went back to the place where he lived, packed up his belongings and brought them to his new home within a few days. This is not the end of my story and hopefully my writings will reflect more.

So, here's the deal: I'm 62, I have finally found comfort in my shell... I need a PERMENANT Mistress who is going to be BRUTAL with me, use me and abuse me, dehumnanize me, heavy CBT, bondage, caging/kenneling, toilet (full sometimes), outside bondage, predicament bondage, ashtray slave, spit slave, eating the dead skin scrapings from your lovely and delicious FEET, and yes, your small toenail clippings which I'll consume. I'm REAL, ladies and I need this. I love being in a cage/kennel. I'm not here to waste yours or my time. I'm here to be your slut/pig/whore/toilet/whatever you want. I DO NOT CARE. I get tribute so, yeah, not a problem but NOT before, please. I'm old school and will do that when I come for my 2+ hours therapy session. I take my servitude seriously and my slavery seriously. This is the life I've chosen. Women are POWERFUL and are to be OBEYED. Men don't get that. I do... Women are superior to men in every way. Women abuse/use me as they wish. This is the way. I believe it. I live it. I know it. I shave all the hair off my body save for my lower arms and head.  I wear pantyhose or stockings and panties (all the time).  I love the body I'm in and how I'm used/abused. I seek to have a mistress experiment on me, try new things and enjoy our time together. Please, I beg all Mistresses to consider this slut for her enjoyment. I will travel to you. Warmly and humbly, slave selene (my female name)

I tend towards being an opportunistic slut. I would also love to find an ongoing partner but that is like seeking a needle in a haystack. I really like to fuck. Feeling cocks inside of me feels good. Stranger dicks even better. I say opportunistic because I don't fit into the classic mold too well. I am not a tease. A game men seem to like. I am not an attention whore or classically an exhibitionist. I do not do the hair, makeup, etc...what a waste of time. I am also a tad dense and oblivious. I like assertive men and really you have to be because it will go over my head. I have different interests.  Some blend into each other but others can operate independently. When I am a slut I am not your sub unless I am your sub and you choose to use me as your slut.  Does that make sense?  Men tend to forget that.  They also mistakenly believe that sluts will fuck anyone and exist solely to please them.  That's what whores are for.  Which I am not.  I am in it for MY pleasure.  If I do not reply or opt out it is because I either do not foresee my needs being met OR that I don't share the interests that you desire. Ultimately I'd like to find that needle in a haystack.  One whose drive matches my own and has enough compatible freedom and time for something ongoing.   A dominant needs to recognize I am a slut. I'm not a little or a bimbo or brainless.  In fact I'm quite capable of being a fully functional adult. Lol  I don't need "help".  What I do want is a dominant who likes control and enjoys fulfilling his primal and sometimes twisted desires with a sub who will defer to his whims and needs. So what are my interests?  I would say I have a core set and additional ones that arise with someone I may meet. I like nipple/breast play/torture.  I like being restrained.  I like a swollen pussy and marks.  I like anal.  I have a decent pain tolerance and I do enjoy some types.  I am not what one would call a pain slut.  Pain for me is correlated to pleasure.  I would love to be shared.  Use me wherever and whenever.  I love wearing cum.  Throat fuck me, gag me...you can be pretty brutal.  I am not into cock worship or endless oral.  Youve heard of lactose intolerance?  I have a semen intolarance so I cannot drink it down.  <----100% true.  I cannot change that and the side affects are identical.   I am open to so much more but I am not bi.  No women or couples.  No scat.  Don't even mention eating pussy because no you won't make me like it.   Clearly this is a sexual type relationship.  I am married as ive stated so looking for those who need someone more for their own perverted/kinky fun. Other questions?  Ask.  

I DID EDIT A COUPLE ENTRIES WHEN I REALIZED THEY WERE HARD TO READ, UNTIL I NOTICED IT CHANGED THE DATE... I don't know if I should just give up or redo my profile or what. I have lost contact with some I wished to talk to due to short term memory issues that pop up from time to time. Those that I have a great conversation with just seem to disappear. If I am screwing up-tell me. I do talk a lot when nervous. I also try to lay it all out there so things don't come up later and be a red flag, and that  can be overwhelming. I am very honest and open because I know what I need and want. Very few have been as open back, but I have appreciated it, Maybe I just need a break? I have grown weary of the search.

July 14, 2024 - Coach get raped again       Coach came over for another visit. It was a Sunday evening after I had worked and I was exhausted. But I always have time for some hot sex.   He arrived right on time and since he has visited numerous times before, I didn't bother to meet him in the driveway. I just opened the garage door which was his signal to come in.   During one of his first visits, I had a milk carton crate out in the garage with a sign on it that said, "useless pieces of human flesh need to strip and put all their clothing in the crate before entering" (or something like that)   Even though the sign is no longer there, he's into the habit of stripping naked in the back of the garage before coming through the door into the family room. I don't even bother to close the garage door since he is getting naked in the far back corner of the garage. When he entered the family room I was sitting in my chair and I stood up and we headed straight upstairs for some fun.   I laid down on my bed on my back and started playing with my cock. He didn't need an invitation, he knew I wanted my cock sucked. He slid onto the bed from the bottom positioning himself between my legs and latched on to my cock. I laid back enjoying the feeling of his warm mouth on my cock. Honestly, I just dropped off into daydreaming while enjoying the wonderful feeling of my cock going between his lips.   Occasionally I would reach down and guide his head to control the speed or depth of my cock down his throat. Sometimes I would throw my leg up over his back to pull him down onto my cock. Sometimes both legs up over his back locking his head into place as a bucked my hips forcing my cock into his throat until he would choke.   After quite a while I started wondering if his mouth, jaws, or throat were getting sore... But then I realized, I really didn't care. I was enjoying myself too much. read the conclusion at http://www.SirKel.top  

I'm a loving caring Domme seeking her sub for ltr.   You: available, devoted, educated, professional, well-off, well-rounded, Caucasian, attractive, publicly alpha, privately submissive, faithful, non-sissy, cuckold (non-negotiable). Need cuckoldress to pamper, obey, serve, worship, support, suffer for emotionally and physically. Ideal Situation: long-term relationship leading to marriage in TPE/Cuckold situation where cuckold is subjected to long-term sexual denial and chastity, reduced to slave-husband status in permanent service to me. You have to earn the status of husband before being a slave. I am not a slave master. Me: Petite 5'3" 120 lb sexy curves, African American Dom, the boss, business owner, attractive, caring considerate person but to my cuckold husband, I will keep always wanting more and begging to please me. Must be good looking, in shape and health conscious. I am all 3 of those so you must be too. I'm self employed and the boss. I live in New Jersey and I'm not looking nor will entertain long distance relationships. Must be in the NJ, Philly, or DE .  I'm willing to do some variations of the above in the way of physical appearance.  Although if you're extremely over weight or unhealthy, I'm not interested.  I dedicate a lot of time to keeping myself in shape and eating healthy foods.     I really want a person that I care about who needs to be dominated more than I need someone to treat cruelly just for the sake of being mean.  I prefer you be over 40, mature, health conscious, as I really want someone in great shape but at least be healthy and HWP.  The more successful you are, the more I want to dominate you. When you respond let me know about you, your past experiences or anything that's significant.  Messages with pics will be answered first, if I choose to answer at all.  One liners or "how may I serve you" will be erased.  hotwife, domme, poly, cuckold, cuckoldress, hot wife, domination

Personal information about me  single male, never married no children full head of hair have all my teeth none tobacco light social drinker self-employed flawed, work to be better kind, honest, trustworthy genuine and seek it too relocatable within USA  Important Lifestyle Relationship must knows i believe in Safe Sane and Consensual. i believe in being of value, not a doormat. turned on by women who are dominant and aggressive inside of relationship. it's hard to turn down a beautiful set of feet and ten toes. kneeling at feet of Goddess, feels so good. attracted to women who have kindness and stern when need be. turned off by women who are just right down mean in life. high priority for worshipping women as a my Goddess, showing and giving her respect. yes i will cook, clean and wash the window. Always leave the toilet seat down, never up. mutual attraction, both inside and out. i want to get to know you. being geniune, honest, trustworthy and good communication. good sense of humor, able to laugh at one's self and enjoy others. not looking to be paid or looking to pay anyone. 

On Being Felled, Temporarily   I have been absent. Those of you who follow closely will have noticed the silence and drawn your own conclusions. The conclusion is this: my body staged one of its more dramatic rebellions in the form of a kidney infection serious enough to take me entirely off the board for the better part of two weeks. I do not get sick quietly or briefly, apparently. When I go down I go down with the full commitment I bring to everything, which I would find more admirable if it were not so thoroughly inconvenient. I am on the other side of it now, or near enough to be upright and writing, which I am choosing to count as a victory. While I was ill, someone broke into my home. I want to let that sit for a moment because I am still sitting with it myself. I was sick, my children were unsettled, and someone decided that was an acceptable time to violate the space where my family lives and take what did not belong to them. They took the children's gaming system, which in the grand accounting of what could have been lost is not the worst possible outcome, and I know this, and I have said this to myself many times. It does not make my children's faces easier to look at. The specific devastation of a preteen who has had something taken, not misplaced, not broken accidentally, but deliberately stolen from their home, from the place that is supposed to be safe, is its own particular kind of heartbreak to witness as a mother. They were crushed. I was furious on their behalf in the way that only a mother's fury operates, which is to say completely and with no available outlet. I handled it alone. As I handle everything. And this is where I find myself needing to say something I do not say easily, which is that my resilience, that quality I have always counted on, felt genuinely shaken this past week. Not broken. I want to be precise about that because I will not be imprecise about myself even when honesty is uncomfortable. Not broken. But shaken in the way that a foundation shakes when too many things hit it simultaneously, the illness and the violation and the children's hurt and the daily weight of a life I carry without assistance, all of it arriving at once while my body was already at its limit. I had hoped, by now, to be in a different chapter. I had hoped, genuinely and specifically, to be in conversations about sharing a home with someone actually prepared to show up for this life. Someone whose service was not theoretical, not a future intention, not a beautiful idea that dissolves on contact with the reality of what showing up actually requires. Someone who would have been here during a kidney infection that left me barely functional. Someone whose presence would have meant my children came home from school to a stable and managed household rather than to a mother running on empty and a space that had been violated. That person does not currently exist in my life, and the disappointment of that is not small. It is not something I can dress up into acceptance without first acknowledging that it is a genuine and specific grief. I built a vision. I know what I deserve. I know what this dynamic looks like when it is real and functional and inhabited by someone with actual capability and actual commitment. The gap between that knowledge and my current reality is something I feel most acutely on the weeks that ask the most of me. I am resilient. I will return to myself completely, as I always do. But this week the crown was heavy. I wanted to tell you that honestly, because this space has always been about the full truth of this life, not only its beauty.   More soon. I am still here. I am still unserved. I am still waiting and wanting. 

This is my comment on a post by another Domme. I quote statements in her post and then comment. It has a lot to do with my previous journal post on Finding a Domme.  Your points - "Let’s be clear—finding a Domme for a genuine FLR, a 24/7 dynamic, isn’t just hard; it’s incredibly rare. You’re not after a casual fling. You’re seeking a deep, powerful connection that most people can only dream about." "You can keep chasing a fantasy, or you can face reality. The Domme you seek is out there, but finding Her demands effort, investment, and a willingness to reconsider what you’re willing to give." Investment does not have to be money. Think of everything else you have to give, invest time, emotion, etc, in her. Payment might be in triplicate in ways you cannot imagine. "A relationship with a Domme is no different. It requires investment—your time, energy, and resources. If you want to serve a powerful woman, be prepared to give." - Giving as in sweat equity. Be willing to do the work, and put your whole self into what you want at your core. I can't speak for all, but I would bet that in a loving relationship, she will pour sweat equity into you. It will look different from the D side, but you will feel it. The comments in the original post and discussions are interesting. They highlight differences in understanding what a lifestyle relationship looks like, interpretations, expectations, and desires.   A lot of communication needs to happen for a lifestyle relationship built to last.

Chasing the Dragon All she has left of her drug is dominant lovers..her dominant protective side keeps her from submitting to them; she tends to walk through life as a switch hiding her needy submissive side because the ones that she meets are disposable to her, and she tops them from the bottom gauging her danger in every encounter. They are always sexually excited, which causes a frenzy inside of them as they try to navigate her confusing waters. She looks for more than sex, but rough sex can help her feel a slice of submission until he goes too far or tries to be a Master, Dom, or Daddy (which can never happen on a first encounter) unless he shows physical restraint digging into what makes her who she is, winning her mind because sex is great but fleeting. She loves a physical touch, and her body moves to every touch, but there is a difference between someone playing a song and mastering an instrument. The one she looks for can pluck the string, keep the melody and be psychologically intense. Sometimes using her against herself to mentally catch her and explain sides of herself hidden only to be discovered in the ultimate goal to own her. It has to be more than a casual encounter; she will play, but she will remain guarded and in charge topping from the bottom chasing the Dragon until the dragon devours her......

Twisted Cheshir Madness 2.0 Let the One true Twisted cheshir Lead you into the darkness and down the rabbit hole.... Here we goooolooking for friends and whatever more may come with is this this world .. my name is cheshir i am the one and only .. So come and join me in this journyava name TwistedCheshirLet Madness Guide you into the ever lasting peace that come with it