Bombo10 

    I'm 5'9 160lbs and have a smooth/waxed body with a large smooth bubble butt. Dick comes in at a thick 7 inches and is circumcised with low hanging balls. I'm pretty happy with my package. Lean submissive. Little bro/son Or beta for an Alpha type.   Generally more passive or submissive in my friendships and relationships. I enjoy fitness, cooking and meeting new people when I go out. Enjoy breath play particularly during oral as well as being an overall submissive. Not only just in the bedroom but with him in general; taking notice of his interest and hobbies. Using that to find ways to please him until he feels satisfied with the disappearance of nuance stresses that plague all of us everyday. Having a Dom relax and not worry what he does or says and takes a breather without having to refocus on his sub and their needs is what I like. I get along well with confident dominant types. Getting to the point where I lower my inhibitions and use my body to bring out the gratification he deserves. To the point where I relax and allow myself to be taken under his control. I'm a sub male in general. I workout towards a tone fit build over big muscles to have more of a streamline body.

    Hi, my name is Infinite Arms and I’m a masochist. I mean let’s be honest, you’ve got to be to keep attempting to navigate this shit hoping for a decent outcome.  I’m a physical masochist - being hit / given physical pain makes me happy (read very wet) but I’m also a massive emotional and psychological masochist.  The physical bit is easy enough - plenty of people will hit you with hitty things, less people with hit you with fisty things, even less people will cut you, break the occasional rib, but there are people.  The emotional and psychological masochism is the difficult part I’m finding, but my circumstances are probably a big factor in that. I’m married - we met through kink and we still do kink when life allows. But we both have other facets we indulge outside our relationship. I won’t tell you his, he can do that, but mine is very much focussed on someone being mean to me.  There are lots of levels of mean, physical pain is just one of them (a very fun one), but my masochism also leans a lot towards more emotional and psychological aspects and this is the bit I struggle to get in the extracurricular stuff.  So I prefer to play with people who are poly, or not looking for a full time relationship, because I have one of those and he’s wonderful and irreplaceable. I also don’t really like people who are doing it all behind their partners back, because that’s just hard work and it feels pretty crappy to be the one being cheated on so there’s that.  But - and here’s the unicorse poo part - I do need to have some kind of connection / dynamic / relationship for the emotional psychological stuff to be meaningful.  ification and degradation and just general worthlessness is one of my biggest kinks. And, maybe it’s just for me, but that doesn’t work if I have no level of connection with the person who’s making me that low. I like (well love to hate) to be told I can’t touch, or orgasm, in between play sessions. Admittedly I’m sometimes utterly shit at that but I’m working on it. And that doesn’t work if there’s not some sort of friendship or mutual appreciation going on.  In short, I don’t want to marry you, or have any detrimental impact on any relationship you are in. But I cannot promise I won’t be fond of you, because, for me at least, that tends to be a byproduct of having someone be mean to me in the aforementioned ways.  No real reason for this post other than a handy th

Just so you know I am addicted to cotton school girl plaid skirts with opaque white pantyhose  or thigh high nylons. Also addicted to gingham checks for skirts and dresses and blouses. These fabrics and patterns really get me excited and turned on sexually and always catches my eye when anyone is wearing these. Also addicted to white in most all feminine clothing, but especially white, tight denim fem jeans and shorts. Also get excited with cotton dresses and skirts and camisole tops in stripes. Love those stripes! Now do not laugh at this but the cotton check table cloths, like in Italian Restaurants and Pizza Parlors also turns me on. I like the smell of that type of cotton fabric along with the check pattern. Horny Crossdresser !!!

Well the fuckery is working like it should. I am beyond exhausted now. My physical body is shutting down hard. Rheumatoid arthritis is the new possible diagnosis. The other options are MRSA (which I have ) and /or osteomyelitis. So my options are crappy so time to rest and heal. I really appreciate all the help from everyone out there I wish people would read my journals before they message me.   time to rest and heal .   

16 years I've been on this site, almost to the day.  Probably longer than that because I'm not sure this was my first profile.  And before that, I was on other similar sites all the way back to the beginning of the internet, and the old bulletin boards.  And before the internet, yes, I am that old, the bdsm magazines and underground classifieds.  I search, sometimes for years because I have very high standards and there are a lot of haystacks and very few needles in the bdsm world, until I find someone, then I go away.  Unfortunately none of those relationships have been forever, though they were each wonderful in their own way, and I guess I am blessed that each ended on good terms.  My last relationship ended 3 years ago.  I am here, on FL, a few other web sites, and on a bunch of the dating apps.  I have a lot to offer, both bdsm and vanilla.  No, I'm not a sugar daddy.  I'm happy to share.  Supporting a lazy deadbeat isn't in the cards.  If you don't have enough pride to contribute to your own lifestyle, you don't have enough pride to be with me.  I'm seeking a woman who is highly intelligent, who possesses and values integrity, is trustworthy and able to trust when her trust has been earned.  And of course, who desires a long term, real life, 24 7 relationship built around a core of bdsm.  Also should be at least a bit of a geek to insure we have vanilla interests in common. Everything else is negotiable.  You have my permission to contact me first if you think we might be compatible. Please be willing to video chat immediately for both of our safety.

Welcome Home, Little Princess Are you looking for a place where you can truly be yourself? We are seeking a "little girl" princess who needs a new home and a fresh start. Here, you will have your very own princess room and a sister to talk to. Our household includes a supportive Daddy Dom, a Domme, and sister in a family dedicated to helping you adjust and transition.  You’ll eventually meet your "older sister," who recently graduated and now lives and works in the city. When she visits, she may even stay in your room, as it was once hers. Her journey wasn't easy. Daddy rescued her from people who suppressed her true self, forcing her to wear masculine clothes and hide her identity. When she first arrived, she struggled with guilt and even tried to run away, but Daddy kept his promise never to let her go back. Once she felt safe, she embraced her life here, leaving all responsibilities to Daddy. She flourished—attending cosmetology school, beginning her hormonal transition, and undergoing facial refinements. Daddy took her to fetish balls and dance clubs in beautiful dresses and heels, where she made many friends. She also loved helping with our lifestyle parties. Dressed in her maid outfit, she was the star of the house; guests always flocked to the party when they knew Daddy’s girl was serving. She also cherished her training sessions, where Daddy pushed her to her limits during their "in and out" workouts. Now that she has grown up and moved into the city, her room is open and waiting for Daddy’s next little girl.

                           LET ME MAKE SOME THINGS CLEAR  DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME MESSAGING ME IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PIC OR PROFILE.  IF YOU DO MESSAGE ME YOU MUST SEND AN ACTUAL MESSAGE. NO ONE LINERS OR ONE ONE WORD MESSAGES DON'T START YOUR MESSAGE OFF WITH Mistress or Goddess. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN GIVEN PERMISSION TO ADDRESS ME AS SUCH.    I'M NOT HERE TO FINANCIALLY SUPPORT YOU!!!!!! Lady Raven   

Hmm...  a journal entry, eh?  Not quite sure what to say here... or even if this thing works.  Let alone if anyone out there will read this.   Let's just start with a basic confession: I love sex, and I like it rough.  I have had fantasies about being raped ever since I a girl.  Of course back then, those fantasies were pretty tame.  Mostly being captured by a villian who would tie me up and keep me in his dungeon where he would, G, try to kiss me!  As I got older the fantasies became...  how say I say it..  more graphic...  The more I think about it, the more I realize that my rape fantasies pretty much follow a basic pattern: I'm out and about...  It's night...  I'm alone...   and I find myself in a bad situation...  and then one or more (usually more) tough looking guys show up and start getting into my person space, then they start trash talking and insulting me, then they start touching me and pushing me around.  Naturally I resist and try to get away, I usually am able to run away for a bit then they catch me again.  after that, they usually rip off all my clothes, hold me down, and have there way with me...  The specific details change, but that's the basic formula...    We'll see who reads this... Catch ya later, subMeghan

Again, it is sad and pathetic that I am having to make this journal entry. First, in no shape or form did it hurt My feelings. But his correspondence has actually made My day and just proves My view/point of men that contact Me.   Second, I do not have to respond to anyone that contacts Me. Just like it was your choice to go through all of the profiles until you find Mine and send a message.  So here is the secret, if it truly someone that I am interested in, I will see just how long he will go before he turns ugly, name calling, etc. Again, does NOT hurt My feelings.  his behavior actually makes Me feel sorry for him and I have no room for subs that I feel sorry for. A certain book about D/s, that was turned into a 3 part movie, has actually turned this lifestyle in a wild romper room of kinky sex.  A majority of the men that contact Me "say" they are not married but as things move along, the signs start popping up.  Hey guys, not My first rodeo okay?  ;-) Of course, sex is great, especially hot monkey sex.  Drop Me a line if you have no idea what that is.  But personally for ME, it is a state of mind.  So if you are looking for a Tuesday afternoon spank/sex romp, that's not going to happen so move onto the next profile.  Oh yes, if you live outside the US, I will not sponsor you so begging to be My house boy again is pathetic   So why am I posting this?  Because My favorite part of this lifestyle is training newbies.  But apparently, subs that have been in this lifestyle for over 15, 20, 30 years really need a refresher. After all of these years and you are still searching to be owned, you need to look at your approach to see if you come off desperate or even as a stalker.  Just putting it out there. Well today's lesson is over   Pain and Pleasure always,  Mistress Brenda  hopefully, autocorrect hasn't made Me look like uneducated.   :-)    

As we stand at the threshold between years, there is a natural pause that invites reflection. The closing of 2025 is not merely the turning of a calendar page—it is a moment to breathe, to remember, and to take stock of who we were, what we endured, and how we grew. 2025 was a year that asked much of us. It was not a year defined by a single event or headline, but by accumulation—of effort, of resilience, of quiet victories and hard lessons. It was a year that reminded us that progress is rarely loud, and strength is often forged in silence. For many, 2025 began with hope tempered by realism. The world continued to navigate uncertainty—economic shifts, global tensions, evolving technologies, and changing social landscapes. We were asked to adapt yet again, to rethink how we work, how we connect, and how we care for one another. And while adaptation can be exhausting, it is also proof of endurance. We are still here. This past year reminded us that stability is not guaranteed, but neither is despair. Even in moments of strain, communities showed up. Neighbors helped neighbors. Families reconnected. Friends checked in when it mattered most. In ways both big and small, people chose compassion over indifference—and that choice matters more than we often realize. 2025 also challenged our understanding of time. It moved quickly and slowly all at once. Weeks red together, yet certain moments stand crystal clear: a conversation that changed us, a loss that reshaped us, a success that reminded us of our own capability. These moments form the true record of a year—not the dates, but the meaning we attach to them. For some, 2025 brought achievement—goals reached, milestones earned, dreams realized after years of effort. For others, it brought disappointment, delay, or grie

I feel the cold metal of my collar against my skin, a constant reminder of my new reality. I had signed the contract and now, I wait, could be now, or maybe never. The system decided who bought me, who owned me, but until that day, no taxes. I got to live tax free from the moment that collar locked, I was no longer a tax paying citizen. I was just merchandise on a shelf.The beep that echoes through the bookstore signals my salvation and damnation in the form of a large, commanding man. Baxter. He rushes toward me, his eyes filled with a primal hunger that sends a shiver down my spine. His hands roughly grab my arms, pulling me close as he examines me, his gaze intense and unyielding. I can't help but feel a sense of awe at the sheer size of him, the power that radiates off his body. "You're mine now," he growls, his voice deep and rough. His thumb brushes against the collar, a single drip of his blood and the control was engaged and I feel a jolt of electricity run through me at his touch. I'm his to command, his to use as he sees fit. He leads me out of the bookstore, his grip tight on my arm. People on the streets shaking their heads, another collared removed from the system, less government money wasted. I can't help but feel a sense of excitement as I follow him, my body tingling with anticipation. I've been waiting for this moment for so long, my training leading up to this very moment, to take the collar you have to serve years if service school, but no bills, no taxes, and after the rules all changed, I had no choice. As we enter his home, he turns to me, his eyes blazing with hunger. "Undress," he commands, his voice leaving no room for argument, the collar filling with heat. I comply, my hands shaking as I remove each piece of clothing, revealing my curves to his gaze. He watches me, his eyes taking in every inch of my body. "Kneel," he orders, and I obey, my heart pounding in my chest. He approaches me, his fingers tracing the outline of my collar. "You're mine now," he repeats, his voice softer this time. Then his hand clicks the l

What annoys me more than anything is people who don't read. I know you're not used to people like me who are straightforward and values every second they have, but get on my level or leave me alone. I created a detailed profile to spare the need to repeat myself or waste valuable time. I know exactly what I want and I know exactly what I don't want. If you lack the cerebral firepower to comprehend an Alpha Fem of my caliber, that's your problem. Don't approach me if you didn't read my profile. Stop expecting me to go out of my way, repeat myself, overexplain, or lift a finger for that matter. I'm SERIOUS. I am seeking the path of least resistance ONLY. My life will be easy breezy no disruptions moving forward.    As a full time artist and creative maker, I support myself 100%. No side jobs, hustles, or schemes. Therefore, come correct or don't come at all. Getting all of these messages from beta men expecting me to go out of my way. If you want your fantasy fulfilled, seek elsewhere. It's ALL ABOUT ME. It's MY WAY OR GET TO STEPPIN. If you don't drive, don't even bother. If you are poor or struggling financially, mentally, emotionally, or physical, skip me. If you can't keep yourself together, aint no way you can add value to my life. I'm grounded. Aware. And capable of continuing ON MY OWN til I find the right ones for the mission. ✌🏽

WELL FOLKS I HAVE GOTTEN MOVED AS OF LAST NIGHT MARCH 29. NOW HAVE TO GET SOME REST SO I CAN GET NEW HOUSE STRAIGHTEN OUT. I LOST ONE OF MY PUPS BECAUSE SHE WAS SO SCARED OF THE MOVE. SHE STAYED UNDER THE HOUSE. COULDN'T GET HER OUT. BUT I LEFT FOOD AND WATER FOR HER. SHE DIDN'T BARK LIKE SHE DID THE DAY BEFORE, YESTERDAY. THE NEIGHBORS WILL KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR HER. NOT MEETING ANYONE YET. BUT WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN. HAVE A GREAT DAY!            MISTRESS CATSTAR...

  For some people it’s all about degradation, but for others is about being loved, cherished, and adored. Yet some people have a full on kink for proper, deep and complete degradation. So much so that they actively seek it out knowing they will be dragged through hell to the ends of the earth. I'm curious about this.    What about it feels good or drives the return for more?  Why does it feel a need?  Is there a cause or reason that has prompted this need?      

Essay on the three types of Dominants as percieve us to behave and act. Dominants fall into three general categories, Authoritarian, Democratic, and Equalitarian. Each category has its sub counterpart. Because these are generalities each category has many variations. What these variations may be are left up for you to conclude. The Authoritarian Dom:  Rules with absolute power and total control. He makes all of the decisions and there is no questioning by the sub of what is asked or what is done. The only recourse a sub may have, if allowed, is a “safe” word. Generally there are little or no limitations binding the Dom. The subs attracted to these relationships are the “slave” submissive. The sub that wishes to be totally controlled. This form involves the voluntary surrender both emotionally and physically on the part of the sub. Generally the limits are pushed through heavy S&M activities. Some of the strongest relationships exist within this category. The couples that live a 24/7 D/s relationship are usually found in this realm. Unlike with the Democratic Dominant, there are no long training sessions to affect certain behavior. Things are done with no negotiations, limits are pushed and both parties accept this. The feeling of closeness and coupling is generated by the relinquishing control and the wielding of (almost) absolute power. This Dom’s implements (toys if you prefer) are usually highly crafted, sometimes intricate, wielded both with proficiency and effectiveness. The Dominants are skilled in their use and their sub is generally highly skilled at receiving the results. The implements developed by the Authoritarian’s are often borrowed in kind by Dom’s in other types of D/s relationships. It can be a profound and sobering experience for someone not yet familiar with this type of domination to watch an Authoritarian scene. Authoritarian Domination is what is usually referred to as “real”, when D/s aficionados use the term real, this is of what they are speaking. This type of D/s is not only S&M but encompasses a wide variety of  D/s conventions and behaviors. This is the generally accepted and also the stereotypical definition of BDSM. Remember that this is only the stereotypical definition of “real”. Authoritarianism is only one ect or area of D/s. So “real” is what you are involved in and feel comfortable with and not what others do.  

Another day, another journal entry... This is subMeghan, once again announcing to you all that as I type this I am naked, wearing only my collar (and glasses), just as my Dom wishes...  and his wish, is my command... I got several follow-up messages regarding my last journal entry. So here are some of the details you all demanded to know. I was tied to a wooden chair with a high back.  Yes, my legs were spread wide apart with each ankle pulled back and tied to a back leg of the chair in such a way that only my toes touched the ground.  My wrists were tied together behind my back and behind the back of the chair. No, I was not blindfolded, but my Dom did remove my glasses.  Oh course I was naked.  (I don't know why someone would have thought otherwise.) As my Dom was going to leave me alone like this while he went to the grocery store, no nipple clamps, no clothes pins were used.  No ball gag was used.  Nothing extreme.  We wanted to play it safe since I'd be alone.  Although I would have preferred it, I was not allowed to have a virbrator.  All in all, this was a relatively easy position to maintain. No, I did not try and escape.  Again, I was alone and that might be dangerous. Let's see...  My dom was gone for at least an hour.  So basically I just sat there and waited.  When he came home, he did not immediately untie me, but rather did a few things first.  When he did untie me, he directed me to go and put the groceries away, which I did... I think that answered everybody's questions. If not, let me know... I hope you all have a great holiday weekend. subMeghan  

If you decide to reach out, please, make it engaging & relevant  something interesting to warrant a reply if you don't have pix posted, include some also indicate your current age  Bulk mail is set to exclude females or couples under 40, over 59 out of country Thank You

a throw back...then and now...how i talk about the spiritual dominant man and the slave woman referencing brooklyn baby in 2015 vs 2024. my writing and perspective growth   a bit not complete because the two service oriented and protection images i have shared back in 2015 cannot be added here due to the wonky layout of the site.   yes i've been writing about this for quite awhile on different platforms. i was going through my facebook where i first started writing this and trying to i don't know..gain some sort of dialogue, community, connection, recognition, semblance of back and forth over it back then and mostly stopping when i was met with silence and or resistance. nowadays i come to understand that my writings are more for me and while i'd love to find a community or people or to turn this into something more be ok if all that happens is it lands and holds a space on the sentience that is the internet! i wrote about my thoughts about brooklyn baby as the little girl and the daddy romantic power dynamic figure back in 2015.....somehow almost 10 years later i forgot about it.. and with my new lived spiritual, energetic, and cosmic awareness i recently wrote about it in 3-4 posts here. i asked my lovely chat assistant to compare and contrast...how do i approach the same lana del rey song  10 years ago vs now? what my writing style and my awareness used to be back then: "i was initially going to keep this on my fetlife side but after a request i am putting this on here too. dual post. talking about power dynamic stuffs, nothing sexually graphic but this is the okay with everything tag anyway so..ya know that'd be cool too .my vanilla friend on facebook posted a bunch of old 1950s ads which had of course a lot of natural male lead household media since that's how things were back then without options or visbilities of choice or other ways to live.   when i came across this one it made me a mix  of how cute, something i very much miss and one of those loss moments all into one.(first photo)this was the photo that stuck out the most to me. in both my  real life real time offline daddy/little girl relationships this was something that i frequently did and looked forward to doing on dates or as the first one when we eventually moved in together.it was comforting to have a routine to follow. to know what to expect was going to happen. it was safe and quieting for me to know that my man was safely allowing me to serve him in a way that was going to get rewarded, acknowledged, praised, and vauled for.it always goes back to this for me(second photo). added, i just found the full quote of where the second image takes its quote from..and it just fits what all of it was/what i wanted it to be/what i was hoping to get:"“I loved having a dad who was smarter than the New York Times, and I loved how my cheek could feel the hairs on his chest through his T-shirt, and how he always smelled like shaving, even at the end of the day. Being with him made my brain quiet. I didn't have to invent a thing.”― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"to find someone who makes me believe that they understand all of me and my crazy mentalness and the challeneges of my antisocial mom and all my brokenness and stays and commits to providing structure and care and rough brawns is just one of the biggest gifts in the world that could be given. and being able to care for them and thank them for the service and direction and guidance they provide is easy. is comforting and nice. with my first daddy parts of this translated into getting him his diet coke in the morning, picking out clothes for him, and getting his english muffin heated and buttered before he leaves for work. usually it invovled a kiss goodbye as well. i did this until he told me he no longer felt able or willing or wanting to be a daddy to me and he wanted us to be equals. after that i did it off and things just pretty much started to crumble after that...but while that was a standard for the 3 years we lived together i never felt obligated to...when i was sick he would do so. if i was late or off i would do what i could.  but i never felt obligated or had to or that it was out of my way to do so.with my last ex we never got to the point of living together. instead when i would go over to his house or i would rent hotels for us i would help him get dressed and i would usually buy him something to drink or some sort of item for breakfast. getting my daddy all set for his day was a big honor and fufilling feeling that i had. it was one of the top 5 things that felt right and complete for me.in return usually as with my first one he would help provide a chunk of the income to help take care of us and while i wanted to work full time i didn't find any full time work while we were togehter except the first few months of us being together. i would get tenderness and emotional care and consideration and gentle leading i never had. what i got in exchange just felt right.and in the further discussion of this and the ability of choice now my friend pointed out in regards to the times back then, 'wouldn't want to be frumpy' and thank goodness we don't have to be dressed up at all times.over the years i've changed and grown into being more femme with my outer apperance and playing with makeup. with my first daddy i didn't have that many clothes....but i did like dressing up for him. and with my last one of the things that just made all of my heart soar along with my little girl's heart and core was for him to take the time to commit to dressing me every day.this actually didn't work out because he started slacking and saying for me to just pick after he committed to it..one of the many signs...of course...but it went back to the safe contained space for mea safe contained space of my worthy man being able to take the time, energy, and effort to tell me how he'd like me to look like for the day.  the addition of no surprises and routine and knowing at all times i am to his pleasing. it was an intimate thing to be taken in and looked at and appreciated and fawned over for being such an addorble femme being. and one that was held and cherished and well cared for and taken like a prized possession. at least the idea that this was happening was. none of it was deameaning or a bother. i always had energy to get dressed up or to do what i can to help out. these are some of the things i miss the most and grieve over losing forever.funny how small little things bring  up things like this.i'm not sure why..but this song brooklyn baby by lana del rey really  fits the mood i'm expressing here. especially the vocal sound of it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5xcnjAG8pE" i got a really sweet comment from someone that i'll anonymous share. it was the only comment i got from it, but on facebook back then pretty shocking i would've gotten any at all with a concept that radical back then. "J - I'm speechless. That was an incredibly powerful and beautifully written post! Truly! Thank you for sharing it here. All I can think of to say is that you are a very fine human being...and whomever you spend time with, they are LUCKY and fortunate to have found YOU. You are such a smart, beautiful and gifted soul. It's an honor to be your friend, my dear! ❤

On collarspace today someone messaged me then blocked me so I couldn't reply. I deleted the email and now I wish I hadn't. Basically the person was bitching because of my stated standards on my profile. Three sentences, grammar and punctuation or I will block and delete the email. The person thought they'd be making this fabulous point by pointing out that collarspace has the wierd filter that zaps punctuation and replaces some words. Except I already know about that and it isn't something I block for. I was accused of assuming things that I don't assume, but the person, rather than asking, didn't find out the truth of the matter and rather assumed about me instead. There was more to the email, but it is always irritating when someone makes their own assumptions then accuses me of making assumptions about others. I could update my profile to explain that I know about the filter issues, but anyone coherent and eloquent enough to know about and ask about it has already earned their way into my good graces. And anyone who assumes THOSE are the punctuation and grammar issues that I'm talking about isn't someone I'm interested in anyway. I'm not worried about perfect punctuation, spelling, or grammar. As my profile says, "All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked." Maybe I can make that clearer, and maybe I will, but the person who thought they were calling me out but didn't have the courage to see what I might reply got under my skin. That kind of cowardice masquerading as bravado is just bullshit. ~Me

Let me be honest for a second… I don’t love submissive men because they’re “easy.” I love them because they know their place—and watching a grown man compete for the privilege of doing what I say? That’s my kind of entertainment. See, submissive men are like my personal comedy show and stress relief all in one. Need something? They’re already halfway out the door. Want attention? They’re hanging on my every word. I say “jump” and suddenly I’m getting a TED Talk on vertical efficiency. And don’t get it twisted—this isn’t charity work. I don’t “take care” of subs. I use them. For amusement. For service. For that sweet, sweet satisfaction of watching a man melt just because I smiled his way. So yeah… I love submissive men. They make life fun, they keep me entertained, and best of all? They never forget who the star of the show is. (Hint: it’s me.)

Current Mood...... I have climbed highest mountainsI have run through the fieldsOnly to be with youOnly to be with you I have runI have crawledI have scaled these city wallsThese city wallsOnly to be with you But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I have kissed honey lipsFelt the healing in his fingertipsIt burned like fireThis burning desireI have spoke with the tongue of angelsI have held the hand of a devilIt was warm in the nightI was cold as a stone But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I believe in the kingdom comeThen all the colors will bleed into oneBleed into oneBut yes I'm still runningYou broke the bondsAnd you loosed the chainsCarried the crossOf my shameOh my shameYou know I believe it But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for []https://youtu.be/e3-5YC_oHjE?t=74url)

Jesus's love for you is so deep as that of a father and child and so intimate as that of a husband and wife. Jesus and the angels celebrate you turning to him. Like that of a dear friend coming back, more missed than they had realized. Give him your burdens he will sustain you. He will not let the righteous be moved. He is nurturing and practical. He is like a supportive parent, a supportive lover. He is fair, trustworthy, and gives you clarity not impartially but fully. Be fearless and have the courage to pursue a relationship with Jesus Christ. It's a journey, through all the valleys and mountain peaks but he is faithful to never leave you. He carries you. He strengthens you. He cares for you. He sees you. He hears you. Some things happen quickly and some things require time. Perhaps time to build your character. Build your endurance. Build your spirit. Build your patience. Build your wisdom. Some things are not meant to break you but to make you so strong and unrecognizable to your old self. Even in the dark there is a light and the light has not been overcome by the darkness. It cannot be. 

I'll give you a little hint too.  I get a LOT of contacts here. Many are polite and interested in me, at least until they realize I'm not gonna show them my junk on cam within the first 24 hours after they say they are a real true Dom! LOL So often the proof is in the engagement, the talking, the conversations, the eventual move off of this platform to one where we can take the next steps.  I should not be expected to carry that load myself. Matter of fact, I expect the Dominant to take the lead here after all they contacted me. If I say yes, I'd like to get to know you, I expect conversation, asking questions, sharing FetLife profiles, etc. etc. etc. whatever it takes to see and feel if there is a common and mutual spark worth pursuing.  I of course have many of my own questions and comments and I will most certainly share those.  I WANT to find my man/Dominant/Master! So this should be a labor of love for both of us. I look forward to hearing from you! 

thesis statement activiated.       for years i've been studying this dynamic on a spiritual, esoteric, comsic, deep level. seeing so many little girls like me of various ages, genders, nationalities, all that. and yet something was always the SAME. the story kept repeating. it feels like being on a conveyor belt. pumped out trying to figure out the answer faster by dissementing us all..mostly the same with slight variables.       and it feels it's the same but different journey for the men who are daddy dominants. and bit more aloof at times for me to track because i'm not a man..but i've been tracking it too.       if curious, all my writings of this are now on reddit...some time i lost some of what i wrote when i gave up on this for a few years in the past. ask for my name if anyone stumbles upon it and wants to see. i'm divining this through spiritual messages, mostly music, sound, visual, sonic, pop culture media magic. a la goofy fellow little girl from harry potter professor treelawny style.       i don't usually want to write stuff down here. i see what people wrote here on collarME..because i was on here in my 20s when it was called that. and i go yeah that won't stick.       but i know this will for me. i cracked the code. and even if i haven't cracked my michael and our long term permanent phyiscal union as of this creation...i'm pretty sure that this will work.       check this out...as i play the song hidden sign by visage longer version is on..for those who are mystical you'll get what's going on.       i've already tested this with 6 other little girl friends from 20s-50s differen races mostly unmarried...we need to get better at this..how are we going to evolve into the new earth with so many of us continually seperated and too chicken shit to ride it out and face our individual storylines of insecurites together without running away at the first uncomfy hiccup.....come on everyone....but one or two married thank god. and they all checked. they all had uncanny things they forgot or didn't piece it together.       so i know i hit into it.       i at this point have probably 10 pages of this and growing.....and i know my breadth on here is already too long enough for most people's capacity. though i'd like to pass this esoteric knowledge on to the community on this true deepth path beyond physicalness, beyond fun, beyond roleplay, beyond a unawkaen sleep approach that's deeply tapped into the mission.       sailor moon and mamaoru aka darrien and serena, usagi and mamoru are this tale as well. ai no message..message of love for the good of the future.       so if anyones ready to dive deep of any gender and isn't being creepy weird or not serious about it hit a girlie up..i'll give you my reddit..and if you ask nice i'll give you the trascripits of this mystical message i unfolded.....with clear instructions on how to navigate these waters and more....but only if you ask nicely.       until then.....let's start with theis.....there are images to attach but collarme won't let me....so....images are on reddit.       i cracked the code for those that have been following my musings..i've been trying to fucking track this energy. the guy converybelt the girl converybelt........the synergy the unique qualities that keep repeating itself over and over and over and all the fucking over again. an endless journey.   i went deep into my professor treelawny divining....the tea leaves were tea leaving..the music was musicing..the channeling was challenging...the messages were messaging. and i was asking other girlies that i've been friends with..i found this out about me..and i know it's not ME it's an original collective thing..this happened to you too right..yes...okay..what about this in your life..shit when i was 5...of course....   WHAT ABOUT FUCKING THE DRAGONS THOUGH. CYBERPUNK 2077 MR. BLUE EYES...........SPACE...alot.   i'm holding off on my book/dissertation on it cause it's too big for now.   but i figured it all out.   what the fuck is the whole daddy dominant and little girl cycle that keeps happening? why are we humans so instinctively same carbon copy with only small minute changes......because in spite of what society says.. the age, the race, the location, the uniqueness..those are all the fucking details. i had a rando tell me one time that they were unique and i was like oh the things i could tell you about yourself and you don't even know me....unique only to a very finite extent.   welll...here it is.   this is the michael sophia code. i thought it was persephone/hades but that doesn't have the space not quite human life is foreign familiar but not familiar etheric/angelic/galactic thing going on. that was the rough draft.   i was looking for an image to finish this...the lesson isn't learned, the message isn't done...   FIRST FUCKING RESULT UNDER ARCHANGEL MICHAEL AND SOFIA   i'm going to still have go to back to the books for this......i'm still in research mode..how deep is this going to go cause damn...i already passed the twilight zone and the multiverse near the end of time.   this one has that trickster energy you can tell.     i have a penchant to the statue era...it was a vibe. it was a moment..it was a era.   it gives chris brown....one of yall for sure..vibes of   "I don't see how you can hate from outside of the club You can't even get in Leggo"     to be continued as i keep doing this doctoral degree on this shit. but damn i had to come to the surface to say i finally figured out the thesis.       case in point...as i finished verification string says ahshua.....found this       "Ahshua is not a widely documented term in mainstream esoteric, spiritual, or cultural traditions, but based on the pattern and sound of the word, it may carry roots in mystical or sacred languages. Here's some exploration based on its phonetic and spiritual associations:       1. **Hebrew/Aramaic Influence**: The term "Ahshua" could potentially echo the sounds of Hebrew words, particularly related to divine or messianic figures. For example, "Yeshua" is the Hebrew name for Jesus, and the similar sound of "Ahshua" might evoke an esoteric or mystical connection to salvation, divine intervention, or sacred naming traditions. In Kabbalistic teachings, names hold significant power and vibration, so it’s possible this name resonates on a mystical level, even if it’s more modern or personal in origin.       2. **Angelic or Channeled Knowledge**: Sometimes names like "Ahshua" emerge in the context of channeling or angelic traditions. If you're connecting with Archangel Michael or higher-dimensional beings, this name could be part of an energy or being that you are tapping into. Certain spiritual figures are only known within smaller or more esoteric groups.   &nb

Goddess' appetite is insatiable.  No matter the number of slaves Goddess owns She always wants more. Those who wish to experience My Glory here should approach and find themselves fulfilled in worshipping Me. Until then, Goddess shares Her Dreams. Fifty new girls, all beautiful and complete, were collected for a ritual.  All to begin their life in eternity as Goddess' slaves.  The ritual a conpetiton.  Goddess sits upon Her Throne, radiant.  In purple leather boots with straps and buckles and heels, purple leather calf length dress worn black stitching, animating venomous creatures that are My pets.  And a black corset highlighting My FigUte. The initiates were given little guidance.  Do not wear leather.  Do not wear black or purple, except if in rainbow.  Do not wear boots.  Otherwise dress in a way that reflaspects your submissiveness and in a way to please Me, which are quite varied.  Each initiate approaches on her own, first crawling, head low and unable to see Me.  Then when told to stand, to be inspected.  Ogled.  Desired.  to walk slowly to My Boot and show devotion with a heartfelt prayer of thanks.  And then to be settled on My Lap, to make out for 90 seconds.  Such joy for the initiates to be used. each is graded on their drEd's, approach, prayer, and kiss.  A lesser goddess would surrender to lust and orgasm after four or five sessions.  For Goddess it is but foreplay.  Building My Inevitable and Insurmoutable Love.  All fifty are broughy, kneeling, relaxed.  Hopeful to be the one chosen to warm My Bed.  My wife on a leash at My side.  No trace of jealousy.  Joyful that I take joy in cucking her in adding lovers.  she sets the example for all to follow. My Boots echo across the stone floor as I walk amongst you.  All heads bowed.  A few I touch.  On the neck.  Or hair.  or breast.  Since you are Mine, Intouch asI wish.  And you touch Me, even see My delicate painted toes, only when I allow.  It oleassMe how many quiver as My fingers trace patterns of joy on your bodies. inneach hand a marble is placed.  Unseen.  then as I sit on My Throne yet again, palms are open.  44 black marbles.  One pinis  four red.  One purple. i call the girl with the purple one to My Side and affix a purple leather collar, diamonds spelling out beauty, on her neck.  She is the one chosen.  No one is disappointed.  All pleased their sister gets to bring Me sexual pleasure. but Goddess is greedy. one girl is never enough.  My wife places red collars on four necks.  Gives each a kiss.  They too will come to MyBed.  But first, they will take 11 girls each and lock in black steel.  Confined for the night.  Able on to hear My Pleasure from the next room.  Each are kissedso they learn what others have done to please Me so that they might improve.  They are told nothing about whether they can oleasure themselves, though their hands are bound, during the night, except that the Will report 0,1, or more than 1.  The girl in pink is told to monitor their safety during the night. She had the lowest score, and so has the most menial tasks.  But a task of joy in service to Me none the less. whole the girls with black were being confined, Goddess took the chosen to her bed, and went down on her.  For Goddess loves the thrill of discovering your body.  Making it sing for Me. When the other four come, the room is alive with passion.  All must fill Mine until I am spent. Five new lovers.  In the morning a tangle of limbs.  Exhausted.  Content.  Then shown by My wife to their new room they will share, sisters.  A final step for the other forty five.  Each black collared slave girl is given a soft kiss, told their new role as maid or chauffeur.  Each is asked for their number, 0, 1, 1+.  Each answer is stored and welcomed.  A tool to help Me shape and mold.  Then the pink collared slave is fucked in front of them all, to show that even she has value, sexuality.  There is no chastity here. it matters not to Me whether you ire to be a cherished lover, wearing a purple collar, an occasional bed made, wearing red, a servant wearing black, or a caretaker of slaves wearing pink.  All have value to Me.  All are beautiful to Me. lexi and demon will wear purple for sure.  Others have earned red.  Some have chosen black, which pleases Me. Worshup.  Be the best you can be.  Shower Me and lavish Me woth attention. Confess to Me your greatest desires and fears and hopes and dreams and let Me share them with you.  Give Me your sexuality to play with, holding and releasing at My Will.  Find your color in My Realm.  ire to the heights that you wish for.  There is no shame on wanting any of the colors.  For you are all beautiful  There is one more.  Gold.  Goddess will in time have more than one wife.  I cannot wait to give out the second, though it may not be in this mortal realm.

IF YOU can't send a pic ....PLEASE DON’T WASTE my TIME. No shade nor judgement, but I prefer to interact with open, confident, sincere energy and the fact you see me and I see nothing but your dick or no pic doesn’t sit well with me at all. COME CORRECT IN MY PMs-"hey sexy", "how are you", "hi", "what/how are you doing?" and anything similiar as your initial message will be ignored.  let's be honest, you really don't care about my response, it's just your basic way of getting the convo started. It's a waste of my time .So please do yourself a favor and come correct, or just don't. Unsolicited dick pics will be ignored and you'll be blocked. If I wanna see your dick, I'll go to your page. If they're not available, and I still wanna see, I'll ask.  I DO NOT CARE IF YOU WANNA TASTE ME, TOUCH ME, want to get strapped...used as a toilet...forced bi aspect..WANT ME TO SIT ON YOUR FACE, The answer is no!!  If you simply want to be a Good sub and serve I might have use for you 

  Some upsetting news This I hope will explain my current emotional feelings. Because I've recently received some truly unexpected and unsettling news, and I'm finding it incredibly difficult to process. I'm honestly struggling to even articulate the situation clearly, as the information is still so raw and shocking.I won't go into the details right now, mostly because I’m still trying to make sense of everything myself. But suffice it to say, it's emotionally traumatizing, and it's completely thrown me off balance.Right now, I'm feeling overwhelmed, numb, anxious, lost, and angry.It's like the ground has shifted beneath my feet, and I'm having a hard time figuring out which way to go.The biggest challenge I'm facing is deciding how to proceed.This news has so many implications, and I'm feeling completely lost in trying to navigate the situation. I'm worried about making the wrong decisions, and I'm unsure of who to turn to for guidance.  

Cowards?  Dolts?  Flakes?  Predators?  Time wasters?  Inconsistent at best. Its weird to have people request a time for speaking, give you their phone number and then close their account before the appointed time.  Such odd behavior and it certainly gives one pause when engaging here.  Then there are those whom you have spoken with many times, shared video chat, Q & A, moving towards a meeting, only to - never contact you again once you request a meeting. You are not sincere and genuine. Where have all the cowboys gone - the one with social graces, honor, integrity?  There are a few here of course and they are greatly appreciated but the rest ...need relationship therapy. Thank GOD there are a few men here who are moving in the right direction!  I fear I would lose all hope if not for their persistence and welcome demeanors.

I am a Cultured creative Sapiosexual Goddess who thrives on stimulating conversation, traveling, hiking, swimming, trail running, working out, kayaking, boating, taking walks on the beach, viewing art, attending comedy events, and soaking up adventurous moments. I live a very active lifestyle without social media, news, alcohol, and mundane things that are designed to shift our focus. I'm the extraordinary experience that your body, mind, soul, and spirit crave! You've found what you've been missing! Are you ready for a different experience?!~~. Or will you cling to what you've been used to and wonder why you keep getting the same results? That's called Insanity! Don't be afraid to try something different. You Will Like It. ~~~Energy is Everything~~~_Be My SubLet's explore Boundaries Of Pleasure~Your credentials, accolades, and worldly materials mean absolutely nothing to me. What does your Energy say? If the vibe is right and you are open to sexually experiencing new things without hangups, we 'might' can embark upon some wonderful adventures together and create memories that last a lifetime. It's sure to be a pleasureful adventure for the both of us.

O/our marriage ceremony has finally taken place - my adored Wife & Mistress has solemnly sealed Her Female Domination (: She has granted my humble request and taken possession of me as her devoted property. She accepted me plighting my irrevocable troth to submit myself unconditionally to Her will and wishes and to be at Her service at all times. In a ritual inspired by the “Cybelian Marriage”, She has affirmed Her vision for O/our relationship, how She wants to use and arrogate Her devoted property in the future and how She wants to be lacking for nothing.i have to report on the ceremony and the new dynamic that has entered O/our relationship here in the coming months and have to be available for Your feedback and answers.my adored Wife & Mistress sends her warmest regards to A/all those who live Female Domination and those who are subordinate to her! U/unsere Ehezeremonie hat endlich stattgefunden - meine angebetete Ehefrau & Mistress hat Ihre weibliche Herrschaft feierlich besiegelt (: Sie hat meiner demütigen Bitte stattgegeben und mich als Ihr ergebenes eigentum in Besitz genommen. Sie hat mir das unwiderrufliche Gelübde abgenommen, mich Ihrem Willen und Ihren Wünschen bedingungslos unterzuordnen und Ihr jederzeit treu zu Diensten zu sein. Sie hat in einem von der "Cybelian Marriage" inspirierten Ritual Ihre Vorstellungen an U/unsere Beziehung bekräftigt, wie Sie Ihr ergebenes eigentum künftig nutzen und benutzen und es sich an nichts fehlen lassen will.Über die Zeremonie und die neue Dynamik, die in U/unsere Beziehung Einzug gehalten hat, habe ich hier in den nächsten Monaten zu berichten und für Reaktionen und Fragen zur Verfügung zu stehen.meine angebetete Ehefrau & Mistress lässt alle, die weibliche Herrschaft leben und alle, die ihr untergeordnet sind herzlich Grüßen!  

My view on online dating sites: They work great when seen as a way to make a connection with someone you wouldn't otherwise meet as long as you then quickly move the introduction into real time and real life dating. Otherwise, it's a waste of time for me. That's why I won't chat with you or entertain any "possibilities" if you live more than 100 miles away from me. If you're spending all of your free time interacting online, then you're only going to cotinue facilitating your online relationships. And that is definitely NOT what I personally am looking for. I'm only interested in meeting people fact-to-face and spending time together person-to-person. I currently host a singles gathering in Fort Myers, FL for just this purpose. Because I understand that if I want to interact more with people in person I have to actually meet up with people in person. We meet on the 3rd Friday of the month. Message me if you want more info about the location. It's a great group, and a good way to connect with others. So I just want to make it clear that if you send me a message expressing interest, I'm going to want to pin down an actual meet in Fort Myers within a week or so of our first conversation or I'm going to completely lose interest. It is what it is.

Morning all -- we are entering a interesting time of the year - let's see who's up to the chellenge Pegtember Pegtember is the month of September when those lucky enough get to participate in pegging. Whether that is receiving or giving, rejoice- its Pegtember   Locktober When typically men put on chastity cages on for the entire month of October. No Nut November  aka  #NNN No Nut November (NNN) is an annual online challenge where submissive / slaves try to abstain from masturbation and orgasm for the entire month of November. Denial December aka #Dencember Denial December is a monthly challenge in the spirit of Pegtember, Locktober, and No Nut November. During the month of December, each day you must edge to the brink of orgasm in the amount of days that have passed in December (15 orgasms on December 15, 16 on Dec. 16, etc.). If you cum during the month, you fail the challenge. YOU MUST DENY YOURSELF ORGASM FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH TO SUCCEED. Good luck, have fun

To the One who commands the storm,   I am but a quiet breath in the dark — a lamb once lost, now kneeling, waiting, trained in stillness, shaped in fire, taught to serve not just with hands… but with heart.   Four years ago, the path found me. Led first by leash, then by longing. I have tasted both the light of loving discipline and the dark ecstasy of surrender without question. Pain, I learned, is not punishment — but the key that unlocks the soul. Submission, not weakness — but devotion in its purest form.   Now unclaimed, I wander in soft silence, a collar-shaped echo around my neck, longing for guidance, for purpose, for the gaze that sees, commands, and owns.   Should You find use for me — to kneel, to serve, to obey — I offer not just my body, but all I am, wrapped in reverence, and bound in faith.

Minoan culture was nothing if not discerning when it came to training slaves. Whereas most societies historically associated with the trade usually treated slaves as mere goods and chattels, Minoa was very different. Examining Minoan art reveal a repeated them when it came to female slaves, often depicting growth and improvement, education and status in the products of their schools.  The difference came from the skill and application Minoan schools showed in selecting candidates, with each school looking for specific traits within candidates. Schools would frequently trade amongst themselves, exchanging girls discovered through each schools specific sources and resources that, whilst not suitable for the discoverer, could be a prime candidate for another. As far as can be told, such trading was done on the basis of benefiting the wealth and influence of Minoa itself rather than an individual school.  Girls would be evaluated purely on their merits, with every attribute considered, evaluated and set against the specialisations of individual schools. It was not unkown for some, older candidates to become assistants to educators at a given school and even to become educators themselves. A girl trained in a Miinoan school to train others to Minoan standards was much sought after. Nowadays, slavery os often associated with either sex or labor, and whilst those were aspaspects of Minoan doctrine, there were many other beside, and each identified trait need a specific plan to bring it to full fruition. Let's look at grace, for example. Grace is usually defined as elegance or refinement, usually of movement. Those considered graceful move with confidence that comes across as fluid and unforced. Grace can also be defined as a behaviour, such as how someone graceful may treat those lower in social status than themselves. Physical grace was a much coveted attribute within Minoan schools because it could become foundational to other skills, such as dancing or fighting. Grace as a behaviour, likewise, was much in demand because it offered pathways into reading a room, keys to seduction or a skill in mediation.  Once identified, a talent like grace then had to be assessed. Was this kind of grace natural or an affectation?  If a natural, latent talent how malleable was it or was it a focused aspect of the girl? For instance, was her grace in movement scalable, as in was she as graceful in the small movements as the large? If not, could she be trained to be? How far could the girls natural gracefulness be pushed, and when did it break down? Was the girl as confident and comfortable in high footwear as with low? Could she move with the same elegance if she were carrying something? How could tight and restrictive clothing affect her? What about on uncertain ground? If balance was lost, how quickly and completely could the girl regain it? If an affectation, how much control did the girl have over it? How well could she shape her gracefulness to a given situation? Could she read the room, tell what was needed and provide it? Could she draw the eye of a crowd or was she better 1 to 1? Could she moderate her gracefulness so as not to show up those of higher status? Could she move according to a role she had to play, as physically convincing as a courtesan as she was a harlot as she was a prized mistress? Did she compliment those she was beside, able to elevate them with the attention of others and not cast them in shade next to her?  Now consider other talents, natural or learned. Languages, sexual proficiency, diplomacy, seduction, fighting both defensively and offensively, offering comfort and counsel, surrogacy, teacher, wet nurse, inamorata... on and on the list goes and, for century after century, on and on went the Minoan schools and higher and higher went their prestige and status and wealth. Until next time.   Questions?

  Do you have an all consuming foot fetish? If so, you could be the foot slave I am looking for. Duties to include full pedicures, moisturising, massaging and stroking etc. you may also be used as a foot stool should I so desire.  you must be be no further than an hour from me ( East Sussex ) as weekly visits will be required if not more. Shortlisted, you will be given my location and required to meet Me over coffee or wine, depending on my mood. Reply with FOOT SLAVE in the title and garnish me with why you should be considered. One line messages will be deleted. Stand out from the crowd.  M M 

So, this is working now, is it? This site is weird, but hopefully I can post somthing here without sending my profile off to limbo for another few years. Anyway, consider this an addition or replacement to what's in my profile, as appropriate: Lockdown's given me a chance to think more about who I am and what I'm looking for and I'm interested in discovering more about Female Led Relationships (FLRs) and the women who lead them. It's the mental and psychological side of it that interests me more than the physical part of it. I want to know what it's like to give yourself to serve and follow another, and if I'm capable of that level of giving myself or devotion to another. When i read stories of submission and dominance, it's the mindset of the submissive that interests and arouses me, not the physical element. That doesn't mean I'm not interested in the physical side of submission and surrender, but it's not my primary interest. I'm interested in finding someone to connect with for a relationship, but also friends and people who want to chat. I'm monogamous in relationships, I know people who are poly and it works for them, but I'm really not sure I could deal with the logistics of being involved with more than one person, let alone the emotional side of it. What am I interested in most of all? Knowing things, learning new things and discovering things about the world, especially the people that fill it, and especially myself because even after all this time I still don't even come close to understanding everything that goes on in inside my mind. I definitely don't think I'll ever understand everyone else, or the world, but it's fun to try and understand as much as I can. I'd be happy getting to know someone here who makes me want to write and think more, to discuss and explore everything and anything together be it sexual or not. I don't really mind if you're next door (well, I know my neighbours, and it would be a bit of a surprise if you were) or on the other side of the world, if your interested in getting to know each other, I'm happy to fire interesting messages back and forth.

Chastity Chastity strictly speaking is a state of being. The connotation is concerned with purity. In olden times a chaste person was assumed to be free form venereal disease. Further it was thought that person would also have certain character attributes. That their thinking was free of prurient interest was a major attribute. In other terms they did not sexualize things or people. An individual in locked in a chastity device without orgasm will over time gain the same state of innocence. So yes, My slave property will be kept in chastity. Once this state is entered the slave will find a peace and contentment it may not have recollection of ever entering in its past existence. For some, it will be a state of serenity. Will I allow slaves to live continuously in such bliss? Not likely. This state of being occurs over time in males after castration. This return to the innocence of prepuberty is the basis for My considering chastity as a form of castration if but temporary and reversible. Interestingly, if a chastised individual is allowed the pleasure of orgasm and ejaculation it will, over time, return to the sexually obsessed state it may have had prior to the period of denial. This phenomenon marks one of the differences between castration and chastity. The period of time differs from one to another. My experience indicates about six months. Freeing a slave from whatever sex centered ideation it may have leaves its brain available for service to its Superior Owner. This, of course, is a desirable thing. Therefore, most all of My slave property will be locked in chastity. slave’s period of denial, at least for the first couple of weeks, can be a grueling torturous event. Locking a slave’s cock in an inflexible irremovable cage will over time result in changes the Master finds most desirable. At least initially. Locked up some ‘male’ penises will try repeatedly and with marginal success to gain erection and relief for its swollen prostate. its mind will become fixated on sexual things and frustration. it may well experience actual pain and mental distress: true anguish. This period may last days or weeks. Sleep for a few nights may be very difficult. Nights will be spent awake, or semi so, with the sexual ideation and unfulfilled need for sexual release. The discomfort of the slave is one of many things that can bring pleasure to Me as a sadist. After the slave has served Me the blissful state of prepubescence I will start the whole process over again. Milking probably without orgasm will occur. A period of time will elapse with regular sexual release until its old way of thinking with its penis will be established. At some point in time after the establishment, the old chastity cage will be locked on it and it will start the delightful, at least delightful for Me, process over again. Yes, chastity will occur for female slave as well. Mechanically, with some differences as one might expect.  

Okay. Okay. I need to get some things off of my chest. Now that I have had some conversations, met a few people, I just want to say that I have standards and I would want my Dom to also be a person of standards. What do I mean by that? I make the effort to always be clean, smelling nice, looking pretty, etc. The bare minimum should be that my Dom takes some care of himself. I like when a man has taken the time to get a haircut,I like it when I can smell cologne on your skin, and after 11 years of trying to change a person, I realized that I indeed changed. We didn't want the same things and I got so tired of trying to convince someone to take care of themselveswhen I'm a fucking mess myself. Like, I need, absolutely crave Daddy but I haven't found him yet. If you're serious about something 24/7 and this is not strictly a kink for you, we might have some things in common. I've noticed some red flags one is that the people I was communicating with, they always want to be called Daddy and like, no. You're not my Dom, I don't know you like that, things take time to develop. Also, if you're weird, Do not bother. For example, I'm not into pantyhose and for one person, that was a deal breaker. Good. Keep that shit away from me. I'm trying to find my perfect match on every level. Also, I don't want your money, I have my own. It might not be a lot but I am not interested in any weird financial stuff. I'm trying to get my shit together in the real world. And all I want is Daddy. I don't think anyone understands how fucking primal that urge has become for me. But please don't come on too strong. Give me time. I'm thinking about a normal conversation here, then on text. Then the phone. Then a video call. You see what I'm doing here? Look if things went well maybe I fly out for a fun weekend. I don't know but I'm open.

100% Master 100% Sadist  100% Daddy 100% Degrader  94% Rigger  93% Dominant  92% Experimentalist  84% Primal (Hunter)  79% Brat tamer  71% Owner  56% Switch  38% Non-monogamist  36% Voyeur  33% Submissive  5% Exhibitionist  0% Ageplayer  0% Brat  0% Degradee  0% Boy/Girl  0% Masochist  0% Pet  0% Primal (Prey)  0% Rope bunny  0% Slave  0% Vanilla   

Greetings, I am a Dominant with over 22 years of experience.  I am also highly skilled with a very creative mind (wink).  I am single, no children, was married previously for 20 yrs.  Am now a semi-retired attorney, meaning that I work from home providing litigation support to other attorneys, so usually a lot of free time to play.  I am currently in Vegas, though I have only a couple of friends and no family here, so not much keeping me in this area.  I am free to relocate anywhere, but preferences would be FL as I resided there previously and have family there or TX.  I have a varied style of play, from the soft and sensual to the more intense and challenging.  I am not abusive nor am I a sadist, though I can be teasingly sadistic (smirk).  I am seeking a woman with a desire to please and either close to me, or seeking a long term relationship together.  Someone spiritual is a better fit for me, as I am as well.  Should there be an interest in knowing more about one another, then feel free to contact me, as I only reserve protocol for play time, and even then, in a limited manner.  

Well, yeah, I spit blood when I wake upSink porcelain stained, choking up brain matter and make-upJust two days since the mainframe went down and I'm still messed upRoom feels like a meat freezer, I dangle in like cold cutsMissed calls, answer phones from people I just don't trustMirror talk, fake love, but I'll take a pound of your fleshBefore you take a piece of my pay stubWhite roses, black doves, Godmother, rise upI need you to see me for what I have become My, my, those eyes like fireI'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyreCome now, bite through these wiresI'm a waking hell and the gods grow tiredReset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higherGrow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire I guess it goes to show, does it not?That we've no idea what we've gotUntil we lose itAnd no amount of love will keep it aroundIf we don't choose it And I don't know what's got its teeth in meBut I'm about to bite back in angerNo amount of self-sought furyWill bring back the glory of innocence My, my, those eyes like fireI'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyreCome now, bite through these wiresI'm a waking hell and the gods grow tiredReset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higherGrow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire

At first, they pleaded for me to be tolerant. I obliged.   Next, they requested that I accept. I acquiesced.   Then, they demanded that I include. But I learned that to include is to convert. I did not want that, so I politely declined.   They insisted, refusing to take No for an answer. I stopped accepting.   They condemned me. I stopped tolerating.

  A thought    B S and M are the body of BDSM then the D is the breath.  

UPDATE ON MOBILITY ISSUES 2/16/2025.  The mobility issues I have will probably not improve.  The back can only be changed with surgeries that require breaking the spinal column and placing metal supports around it.  It is an extremely lengthy process with an even longer recovery time and there are absolutely no guarantees of success.  That diagnosis was bleak but the knee and hip surgeon will not do any work until I can stand upright.  That is not an option given the path to get there.  My physical therapist says I can only work on keeping the process from getting worse, not making it better. So here we are. UPDATE ON SITUATION AND LIFE ISSUES:  You may or may not know but updating a profile requires weeks of waiting and inability to receive any correspondence during that waiting time.  I think that is why so many profiles are outdated, especially on the age of the profile owner.  I am one of the ones who have not done an update so here are the new things one should know: I will be 78 in October I have a collared slave I found at the very end of 2015 and I offered him his collar in April of 2021. I am looking for another to join us in our family but that person will need to be very unique.  Notice I said our family meaning both of us need to approve the person.  That part is very difficult to accomplish with long distances from each other.  My current slave committed to a 30 day trial and chose not to leave at the end of it.  He went back to the place where he lived, packed up his belongings and brought them to his new home within a few days. This is not the end of my story and hopefully my writings will reflect more.

Is there anything else I can help you with? You never know when bdsm enters your life in the vanilla world.  I really enjoyed living in SW Florida.  I used to live in Cape Coral which is a suburb of Fort Myers , a much bigger city where I worked.  On days off I would go to the nearby beaches of Ft.Myers, Sanibel Island or other places to sunbathe and swim.  There was a yacht club nearby where I went a lot to lay out and preen in the bright sun.  Guys would whistle at me as they moved along in their boats and I would smile.   Between my house and the yacht club near the corner of Cape Coral Parkway and Coronado Parkway was a bikini shop located in a small strip mall.  I would go in there to look at their bathing suits from time to time.  I bought a few bikinis from them.  I think it was the third or fourth time I went there that I realized they also sold adult toys.  It never occurred to me to look around the entire store when I was there.  I'd go in and head straight to the swimsuits and the dressing room and the cashier area.   Had I looked, there was a wall that separated the clothes from the toys.  I just never looked.  There were vibes, lubes and other sex toys displayed on the wall that was out of sight from the rest of the store.   On the way back from the yacht club I stopped at the store.  I was wearing a crop top and bikini bottoms at the time.  This was normal for Floridians to be dressed this way.  I bought a bikini one time and went to pay for it.  It was then that I noticed for the first time that underneath the glass counter was a whole selection of restraints and other bondage items.  I glanced at them while I waited for the owner to come to the register.  She was a tall BBW, about 50 and had long red hair.   Owner:  Anything else sweetie? Smiling Me:  I never noticed before that you sold bondage stuff.  I usually just bought bikinis here.   O:  Is there anything you want to see?  M:  Yes, I'd like to see those suspension cuffs and that spreader bar.   She reached under the glass case and brought out the cuffs and the bar.  The cuffs were very nice.  The leather was thick and the buckle was sturdy.  It was the spreader bar I wasn't too sure about.  It was made of wood and had eyebolts on either end.  It was about three feet long.   M:  This doesn't look very sturdy, at least for suspension.  Do you sell metal ones? O:  You're about 120 pounds right?  It'll hold you up.  I'm sure of it.  M:  Hmm I don't know.  I like the cuffs and I want a spreader bar but I'm not sure a wooden one would do the trick.   I was kind of embarrassed having this conversation in this store but when I looked around nobody was there but us at the time.  O:  Look, I can have you try it out in the back room if you want.  I can hook you up and you can see how it feels.  She pointed to the back room behind a curtain near the adult area. I looked at the area where she pointed and thought, well if this is a trick I can at least yell out to anyone who comes into the store.  I looked at her again and thought, well she doesn't look like a serial killer.   M:  Ok. She led me past the curtain and it was just a plain ok storeroom with boxes and shelving units and clothes racks.  There was a chain hanging from the rafter in the ceiling that hung in an open area underneath a sky light.  I put on the cuffs and she attached them to the ends of the spreader bar.  She told me to stand on a chair and she attached the bar to the chain.   O:  Ok step off the chair.   I stepped off and hung there while she pulled away the chair.  She smiled as she looked at me.  O:  How does it feel?  Try moving a bit.   I wiggled around and the bar held my weight.  I was about to say something when we heard the door chimes.   O:  Oh shit a customer.  Be right back.   She left me hanging there alone in the stockroom.  I could hear her talking to the customer.  There was a bit of back and forth.  She was gone for only a minute or two.  She came back and peeked at me through the curtains.   O:  Are you ok? I nodded yes.  She went back to front and I could hear more talking.  Finally after a few minutes I heard the door chimes again.  She came back and smiled at my suspended body.   O:  I'm so sorry.  You look amazing by the way.   She got the chair and helped me down.  She helped me remove the cuffs and we went back to the front together.  It took me a few moments to comprehend just what happened.  I just did a suspension scene in a bikini store!   O:  Is there anything else I can help you with?   M:  No, I'll put it on my credit card.    

My theory is you can't just walk awayIt's all about balance in the spiritual realm You have to choose a sideOnce you choose a side you are trapped like in hunger games but on a higher level on a spiritual level No matter what side you choose the other side's going to come after you The only way out of it is to just go into the dark shield and exist no more but you can't do that either because you'd feel guilty because of all of your loved ones it's all part of the higher level of mental bondage .. Wouldn't this make a great movie And as far as men goes it always starts out great in the beginning but all the stuff they tell you is hardly ever true it's just setting the trap

Be who you are—fully, unapologetically, without hesitation. Not the version shaped by expectation. Not the version softened to be accepted. But the one that exists underneath all of that—clear, aligned, and undeniable. Let what no longer fits you… fall away. All the expectations that were never yours.All the identities you outgrew.All the roles you kept playing out of habit, not truth. Release them. Allow everything that isn’t aligned with you to dissipate naturally—without force, without resistance. What’s meant for you doesn’t need to be held together artificially. Free yourself from what no longer exists. And then… build again. With intention. With clarity. With honesty about who you are and what you need. If matriarchy is your path—walk it with confidence.If servitude is your language—speak it without shame.If structure, devotion, power, or surrender call to you—answer fully. There is nothing wrong with becoming who you were meant to be. The only mistake is refusing to. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

  Your Negotiation Means Nothing If the Results Were Forged [CW: STI non-disclosure, predatory behavior, legal consequences, community safety] Let me paint you a picture. Someone gets a positive result. Instead of disclosing instead of doing the one thing that consent absolutely requires they go shopping. They find a friend. They swap names on paperwork. They screenshot someone else's results. They walk into your negotiation with fabricated proof and a smile, and everything you agreed to was built on a lie. Your yes was never real. You consented to a fiction. And now you're living with the consequences. This isn't just a community problem. It is a crime. And I want the people doing this to understand exactly what they're walking into because the law in these states doesn't mess around. FLORIDA Under Florida Statute §384.24, you don't even have to transmit anything. Knowingly having an infection, being informed you can transmit it, and sleeping with someone without disclosure is already the crime. Non-disclosure of most STIs is a First Degree Misdemeanor. Non-disclosure of HIV is a Third Degree Felony up to 5 years. A repeat offense escalates to a First Degree Felony. The statute covers gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, and HIV. Fabricating test results to obtain that consent? That's fraud layered on top of the underlying charge. GEORGIA Under Georgia Code 16-5-60, there are criminal penalties for reckless conduct involving HIV and hepatitis transmission. Prosecutors in Georgia are aggressive about pursuing charges against those who fail to disclose their status to sexual partners. And for anything not specifically named in the statute syphilis, herpes, anything else a person can still face assault charges. TENNESSEE Criminal exposure to HIV in Tennessee is a Class C Felony that is three to fifteen years in prison and up to $10,000 in fines. Tennessee covers HIV, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C specifically under criminal exposure law. The burden falls on the defendant to prove disclosure happened, and proving disclosure is notoriously difficult because there is rarely documentation so it often comes down to whose word gets believed in front of a jury. ALABAMA Alabama's communicable disease exposure statute casts a wide net "contact" is broadly undefined, meaning a whole range of behaviors can be criminalized, and neither intent to transmit nor actual transmission is required for prosecution. Alabama has also pursued HIV exposure cases under general criminal law, including attempted murder charges where intent can be established. MISSISSIPPI Mississippi's felony exposure statute covers HIV, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C. Exposure without disclosure can result in felony charges. This is not a state where you want to test those limits. SOUTH CAROLINA South Carolina carries explicit criminal exposure statutes covering HIV, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C both misdemeanor and felony tiers depending on the circumstances and the infection involved. LOUISIANA Louisiana has been actively expanding its reach. Intentional exposure to incurable STIs without disclosure has been the subject of legislation targeting up to 10 years in prison and $5,000 in fines. Syphilis and herpes both incurable fall squarely in that conversation. And then there's civil court which doesn't need a criminal conviction to destroy you. If a partner knowingly infaspects you, you can file civil battery or negligence claims. Intentional, unconsented, harmful contact raises the damages recovered and can run alongside criminal charges simultaneously. A fabricated test result isn't a defense it's evidence of premeditation. A civil attorney will use it to light you on fire. Now let's talk about the test swapping specifically. Presenting falsified medical documentation to obtain sexual consent is fraud. Full stop. It potentially constitutes identity fraud, forgery, and fraud to obtain consent all separate charges that can stack on top of whatever STI exposure statute applies. You handed someone else's results to your partner. That's a paper trail. That's a witness. That's a case. What this means for all of us in this community We build our entire framework on the quality of the information exchanged during negotiation. One lie poisons the whole structure. Informed consent isn't informed if the information is fake. Ask for documentation. Ask about the lab. Ask about the date. Cross reference the details. If someone treats those questions like an insult if they get hostile, evasive, or suddenly defensive about you wanting to verify what they've handed you that reaction is data. Use it. Protect yourself. Know your rights. And if something has already happened to you talk to someone who can help you understand your options. You have them. Legal References Florida Fla. Stat. 384.24 Unlawful Sexual Intercourse / STI Non-Disclosure Florida Fla. Stat. 384.34 Penalties for STI-related violations Georgia Ga. Code Ann. 16-5-60 Reckless Conduct / HIV & Hepatitis Exposure Tennessee Tenn. Code Ann. 39-13-109 Criminal Exposure to HIV, HBV, HCV (Class C Felony) Alabama Ala. Code 22-11A-21 Communicable Disease Exposure Statute Mississippi Miss. Code Ann. 97-27-14 — Felony Exposure (HIV, HBV, HCV) South Carolina S.C. Code Ann. 44-29-145 — Criminal Sexual Conduct with STI Non-Disclosure Louisiana La. R.S. 14:43.5 — Intentional Exposure to AIDS Virus; pending expansion legislation Civil Liability Negligence & Battery claims available in all 50 states; no criminal conviction required https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/sexually-transmitted-diseases-stds-lawsuits.html https://www.hivlawandpolicy.org/state-profiles/south-carolina https://www.kevinkuliklaw.com/is-std-transmission-a-criminal-offense-in-florida/ https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/liability-for-transmitting-a-sexually-transmitted-disease.html https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/transmitting-std-florida.htm https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/transmitting-std-north-carolina.htm  

Last profile wasn't showing. So here we go, i am looking for 2 females for poly, those who can take or not but will take pain, also 1 for domestic chores. I have a illness, so i live with my brother, so that puts most off, but you don't try, you don't get. If you can see past that, then great.

Oh I wish I had a slave driver here, A useful chatty person near, Drives me to key appointments with notice set, Keen to be useful to me I bet. When I choose club play nights off we fly, Whips on his derriere produce mutual joy sighs.   Though now pleasant chat from the states only shows, Useless in practical life we all know. And I am a practical person through and through, So where are you Slave driver you not around tinges me blue.   Instead I am busy with study and skill, Developing life knowledge so my mind advances up a holl, Knowledge is power so I consume mine, Growing as a person through time.

i really feel badly over what transpired this past week. i have enjoyed many rewarding experiences in r/l and sometimes talking via this site can open up minds and really get minds thinking towards a r/l meeting. there have been some special people i have met and they are exactly what i expected. i think i need to step back from this site. it hasn't happen in sometime, but i think someone has ghosted me, i guess they were not up to coffee or a meal. i do not play on my first meet. that is just dangerous.  so my mind closes again until someone is clever enough to open it. this world is not bs to me, but maybe vanilla is the answer....

It has been brought to my attention that Desire, my previous journal entry, was cut off midway through. So below I will post the rest of it. Desire part 2  What COULD he do? Bound as he was, I had not ever tested if he could crawl. I climbed down from the bed and tiptoed out of the room and walked back in as if I was returning from elsewhere. He jerked in the direction of my sounds, bells tinkling on my anklet, I noisily gathered a chain leash and walked to his helpless body and attached it to the ring on the collar of his special hood. "Come, puppy." I called in my sing song voice, the very one I use for my cats. "Come on, my handsome boy." He made a muffled noise and tried to orient his body to follow. Trying to rise up on his elbows and knees. I knelt down and gently petted his right cheek and could see him inhale and exhale sharply. "Good boy, that's right, come to me, follow, boy. Goood boy, my handsome boy" He tried to orient his body yet again and one of my cats wandered up and meowed, they, too, were used to such talk from me. As he struggled to get to his knees and elbows I tugged the leash impatiently as if irritated and said, "hurry the fuck up". I dragged him some by his neck and funnily enough he got into the position to hobble behind me. I smiled at that, his determination to please me. It was intoxicating. I led him, blind, behind me through the house to the third bedroom, which was my "office". It was under lock and key, in fact, the key for the office happened to also work on the lock of his cage, I had the lock on the door altered to match the key so he could not enter without permission. He knew that in that room he wasn't to speak. There he was a dog. My dog. My faithful puppy. We entered and I gave different commands. Sit, and he got into a kneeling position. Stay. And he would remain. Heel and he'd crawl to me and heel. Obedience. Blind obedience. I sat in my chair opened  the drawer on my desk as he knelt beside my right leg. Opened a book I kept in there and turned to the most recent page. I read through and opened my mouth and said firmly. "Yesterday, my property degraded himself and so degraded me. 25 swats with the cane. Get into position to receive" he groaned but complied as best he could while hobbled. "Remember, we do not move away from the pain, perfect love has perfect trust, be ready to receive. This is your penance. Count each stroke of the cane and be grateful to suffer and try to remember that to harm yourself is to harm Me, to love yourself is to love Me" He barked an affirmative, as the rule of the room was no speaking. The first strike he was still, taking the sting of the thin willowy cane. *bark* By the fifth his behind was quite red with deep lines. His barks were breathy and he swayed. *bark* counted out the tenth stroke. There trickled a pink clear fluid from one of the pretty lines. *bark* his voice was weary even through the hood and he had sweat in beads on his back. This was stroke 20. He trembled visibly and rocked on his knees. I thought I heard a sniffle. I raised the cane and swung but didn't strike him. He tensed and moved forward but not away. His breathing was quick yet shallow. I imagined tears and sweat and saliva in his hood. I raked my nails across his warmed ass, this was primal for me. This reminded me that he wasn't the only beast in the room. I wondered if I were sick, his perfect sadist, was I a monster to be so aroused by the brutality. I leaned down and said to him, lovingly, "there are five more, my love, are you strong enough to endure for me?" He nodded his head quickly and let out a low "bruf" bark. I stepped back, raised my arm and struck him quickly, five times, as hard as I could. I felt the cane cracking and at the last swat it snapped and a piece of the cane flew up and hit me. Startling me I yelped and he tried to get up and attend to me, forgetting his place and forgetting his binding and forgetting to bark five times. I should have written it down that the penance was not complete but was moved by his desire to care for me even when he was broken. "I'm fine. Remember your place" I called out. He stayed quiet for a minute and then nodded and barked five times to complete his punishment. Could I have been more in love with a man? I doubt it. I got down on my knees beside him and caressed his leather bound head and clucked over him. I cleaned his wounds and kissed his face over and over. I stood up and returned my book to my desk and gave another command. "Pleasure" He flopped onto his side and rolled onto his back with his legs opened. The true purpose of how he was bound is that being in a frog tie made it more difficult for him to fuck me. I decided I wouldn't yet unlock him so I sat on him in his cold metal cage with my hot pussy. Enjoying the feeling of him cooling my skin. Knowing that my weight on him was applying pressure to the wounds on his ass. He immediately tried to buck but I placed my right hand on his chest and my left on his neck and pressed down. He grunted and tried again to buck. Jerking his head upward in frustration, precum leaking out of his cage and smearing on his pubic hair and my lips. I began to grind on him, pressing hard on his neck while feeling his heart beat under my palm. Knowing that I was using my weight on his neck. He'd slow down and I'd release him and feel his heart race. The metal cage now warmed and wet from both of us. The blood and air rushing to his brain and lungs. "Would you like to cum, do you want me to unlock you?" I cooed and moaned and he sighed and nodded and gave a short "ruff". I slapped him and laughed. Then I moaned, "No, you haven't earned it" and ground against him in slow circles, feeling his balls draw up tight to his body. I scooted forward and leaned back to fiddle with his cage as I bounced on his chest, listening to the air whoosh out of his lungs. The sparse hairs tickled my clit and I felt I'd explode at any moment. I turned my torso and unlocked him. Now erect and free. "Are you allowed to cum without permission?" I asked breathily?" "Uhn" he grunted shaking his head and bucking his hips. </spa

Things I listen to when I'm alone  Black Lab - This Night LP - Muddy Waters Bishop Briggs - Like a River edIT - Ants Plastic Bertrand - Tout Petit La Planete Dead Can Dance - The Host of Seraphim Trance Mix Helium Vola - Omnis Mundi Creatura Switchblade Symphony - Clown Collide - White Rabbit Nine Inch Nails - Closer Stabbing Westward - Inside You VNV Nation - Illusion Assemblage 23 - Damaged Marilyn Manson - Sweet Dreams  Depeche Mode - Stripped K's Choise - Virgin State of Mind VNV Nation - Beloved Afro Celt Sound System - Release Me Jilala I - Nocturnal Ritual · Moroccan Spirit Reinhardt Buhr - almost anything he does works Raphael - Healing Dance

Him: I want to have a 1950s style relationship with you! Me: Then why did you contact me?  Him: I just said. I want to have a 1950s style relationship with you. Me: But you are white. Him: Is that a problem? Me: In the 1950s, it would have been illegal for us to have a relationship.  Him: So? Me: So, a 1950s style relationship between us would involve us not having a relationship. Him: Some people did it, didn't they? Me: Illegally, involving scandal and and the likelihood of violence and likely damage to at least one partner's class status. Him: It could not have been all that bad. Me: Loving vs. Virgina happened one year before I was born. Lynchings are still not unheard of. Him: . . .  Me: Toodles!

Well its a different thing now for therapy and to make better quality bondage gear again with a guarantee that no store or fetish maker Gives. As alot dont stand by there workmanship as it is a skilled craftsmans that if it makes quality gear of the best leather and hardware it should out last your slave or submissive. If it doesnt it has failed. So it guarantees to always replace free of charge restraints and other bondage gear it makes. It see so many out there making quality bondage gear and charging ridiculous prices. It wanted a Pony Harness and the price was Ridiculous $1500. It has to laugh. Well, the 2nd order of it Leather working tools have arrived from Amazon. Give it the third time in it life Rebuilding its Leather making workshop. And in the next fortnight, got a third order that has to go in. And that should see it. Build the tools and the workshop that it needs to start making. What It needs And wants And to rebuild it inventory. it uses the highest grade harness US latigo leather as used in the Saddle and Harness industry on the market and heavy metal hardware, Post screw rivets and with reinforced with leather sewing machine for extra strength for secure durablity.

Adieu Yes, maybe it is true.Yes, maybe it is true that maybe i am blue.maybe i am blue, and maybe it is because of you.You were on the venue.i took the cue, and gave what was due,but you didn't follow through.i was at your pew, face to your shoe,You left me like a whoop-de-doo;You didn't renew,You didn't rescue,my confidence in you has flew, askew.There will be no break-through,no rendezvous,no well-to-do point of view.This is World War Two, thank you,and i wont argue how bitter i stew,or how i feel a devalue inyour discontinued virtue.Because now,i see you now at face value.And now i cling to my own Bellevue -my own worldview -And i shall paint her deep blue,because yes, maybe it is true,maybe it is true that maybe i am blue,and maybe it is because of you, mind you -my dear Safeword, Adieu.~ dirtydarling

My mind wanders   and where I am in my head in a given moment may not be in a particular space or focused on a particular thought. A lot of the time I'm just absorbing being, breathing and living in those few seconds of being alive. Other times I'm visually and physically absorbing being in Daddy's presence so that if the day comes that his circle of life has completed and my time hasn't yet come to join him, my mind will relive these magical years, months, days, hours and minutes of our priceless endless love. The power and strength of our individual selves is potential and possibilities that may or may not be realized. The roles we assume as Dom/Master/sub/slave without one another is conceptual fantasy and unrequited desire. Together we are fortified and the conceptual, fantasy and desire are lived and experienced. Our personal chemistry has been altered. More than a high from the natural dopamine we create for one another. We're in eachothers blood, in the air we breathe, and all that sustains us to be alive. There is nothing worth experiencing if I'm not sharing it with my Master. Loving and living to serve my Master/King/Life partner.

So slightly better news.  99.9 percent of the people who get this cancer are either heavy smokers, heavy drinkers, or drug users, and have depressed immune symptoms.  Since I am none of those things, my chances of making it out of this alive is closer to 80 percent than 50.  I'll take it.  I go in for surgery next week.  They are cutting out a piece of the back of my tongue, a piece of the back of my throat, and going into the side of my neck and removing all the lymph nodes.  Fortunately, the surgical techniques have advanced a lot and they no longer have to take out all the bones and muscle in my neck along with it.  So I will have a scar on my neck, but won't be grossly disfigured.  I won't be able to eat solid food or talk for a few weeks, and it's still going to be horribly painful, but better than dying.  And hopefully, if they get it all, I won't need to follow up with chemo and radiation and it won't come back.  But this cancer does like to come back.  I will worry about that when it happens.  For now, I'm going to focus on getting through this and keep living my life as best I can.  Thanks to everyone who took the time to write me about their own survival stories, or to offer support.

Shutting people out is confusing to me. It was one of the very first coping mechanisms I learned early in life, and it worked well. I used it often. Or, you know, all the time. By the time I learned it wasn't healthy it was too late. In the spirit of self-improvement I put effort into salvaging relationships when I could push past my initial reaction of shutting out, which wasn't often. Much more difficult for me and against every instinct I had. Those weren't always done in a healthy or whole way, either. Ignoring things instead of addressing them, having the other person react in the opposite way of what was expected. I struggled a lot with the what and the how. I still do. Only now, circling back to shutting people out, it's acceptable and encouraged in some instances. When the hell did that happen? How do you determine when it's the right move? After years of trying to undo the shutout it feels wrong. Right, but wrong. Like I've given up. Like I'm falling back on an isolating coping mechanism. Facts are facts and they may stack the deck for motive, but I can't help but feel like I'm the emotionally stunted person using her go-to move. I think about this a lot. Is it right? Or is it just easy? 

 recently met a vanilla guy that had been a drug addict for more than half of his life. He has been clean for 5 years. This is information that was shared with a perfect stranger within the first 5 minutes of conversation. (I appreciate the upfront honesty, but damn.) From what I learned about him, he was easily swayed by previous lovers and enjoyed being a "doormat." Without knowing My kinky hobbies, he disclosed his desires to be owned by a Dominant Woman.qIuestioned his ability to be involved in a kinky lifestyle relationship without it being totally draining on the Domme. Although I wasnt even going there with this guy, the last thing I want is a overly needy person in my life.Has anyone else run screaming from someone that just oozes insecurity and extreme neediness?How long would someone with an addictive personality actually be able to make it in a kinky relationship with YOU?

MUST be ok with a poly dynamic. I am NOT seeking a mono relationship from My side, but you may, as all of those under Me are, be mono to Me.  I do have other subs under Me. I'm a Domme, so it's to be expected. If you are not ok with that, please don't waste My time.  If you cannot read and understand EVERYTHING that I say in my profile or messages, don't bother.  If you cannot write in proper English sentences with the proper amount of fullstops and correct capitalization of everything except the word "i", don't waste my time!!!! If you send Me a message without a photo at least attached, DO NOT expect a reply back from Me. So, to all those wondering why I have not replied to you recently, that is your answer. Why? Apparently, you have failed one important step, to read My whole profile, including all journal entries!!   Requirement before you start seriously interacting with me:   MUST have Skype on your phone!! No exceptions!

  Some might ridicule me for what I am about to post, thinking that I shouldn't say it here, but I really don't care. If you don't like it, go to someone else's profile. It was here (on CollarMe) that my Daddy (and later Husband) met and so it is here I will write this and declare it... My heart has been shattered into so many tiny pieces it feels like they'll never be put back together but I know that somehow and some way they will be. I know that some friends on here have been told, but not everyone was made aware and so I feel it necessary to inform everyone that my beloved Daddy and Husband, DeadlyDream, has left me. Not in the normal sense, meaning we didn't get divorced, or he didn't move out; what I mean is much, much more devastating on a personal level.  On December 30, 2021, at 4:30am he suffered a heart attack in bed. I tried, I truly did, through CPR and through the massive efforts of the local PD and EMTs to bring him back but after over an hour they declared him gone. I felt as though my world stopped when the EMT turned to the Police officer and shook his head while the others covered my beloved Daddy. It's been a few months, I know... But it's taken me this long to deal with everything, and to come to terms with what has happened. To convince myself that he’s NOT going to come strolling through the front door like this has been some sort of grand joke that he’s played on everyone.  I'll never again get spun in the living room as he spontaneously grabs me while music is playing and dances with me. Or grabs or slaps my ass in the middle of a store and declares that “this is my ass and no one else’s” as we’re shopping. I won’t be able to have play wrestling matches in bed that start other fun times in bed. Yes, we argued like any normal couple, but we had more good times than we had bad times, and those are the ones I’m going to cherish more than the bad ones. I’m not going to get to hear him sing to me or hear his perfect imitation of Eeyore telling dirty jokes to me. However, what I AM going to do? I’m going to be the strong woman he taught me to be. I’m going to remember him as the loving man he is, and I’m not going to let this drown me in fear or trepidation.  I ask that all his friends on here remember him the same way. As the strong, goofy, wonderful man that he was. He goes on, in the organs that he donated. I know that several of them were used to save lives. I received several letters of thanks, sharing stories of what good he did and how he continued to do good even though his spirit has left us.  

I am finding all about change.  The difference when talking with Dom's, Dommes six years ago.  Now talking, I am answering different to questions . I see things different. I am vulnerable, afraid at times, this is different. I feel I can't do it alone I need that voice telling what to do and following . I feel in pieces need to be reassembled. I feel it's time I surrender to be guided in this process.

Coming to, you blink trying to get a grasp on your surroundings. Your vision is obstructed and when you blink, all you see is darkness. Moving your head, you feel that your head is placed on a softness that can easily be identified as a pillow. Panic alerts the hair on your arms and your heart starts to race. You try to reach for whatever fabric is covering your eyes, just for your arms to not move when instructed. Jerking again, you realize that your arms have been tied together and stretched out just enough for you to be safely propped up on them. Tugging roughly, you can hear the rope slide across the metal of a bed frame. Frantically struggling again, you try to kick your feet, also strapped down and you realize you cannot move them apart or lay down. Your ass is in the air and just as a breeze kisses the skin of your ass, you realize how quiet it is. You haven’t heard a single movement that you didn’t create.   You thank your lucky stars that has blessed you with the chance to escape.   With the knowledge of your bare asshole in the air and unprotected, your arms bound and inescapable, you test your feet again. There is a bar extender that has your feet cuffed and spread perfectly. If you extend your toes just enough, you can feel the edge of a footboard. Sweat is beading at your hairline now, but for some reason, you’re starting to grow. Cold metal wraps around your cock like your hand does every Friday and your nuts are sent to your stomach.    You can’t believe it… Chastity.    You’ve been bound, blindfolded, spread open and locked up. Adrenaline spikes your blood flow and you rack your brain with the best possible way to escape before the inevitable. Fighting against the rope and trying to free your hands, you’re panting, trying your hardest to not make noise. But how can you be quiet when trying to escape?   You feel the breath on your ear before you hear her.  

 LadyOcean73