On Realistic Expectations and the Woman You Are Serving   Let me be plain with you, because plainness here is a kindness and I have never been interested in the alternative. I attended a funeral last weekend. Alone.  I want to sit with that for a moment before I say anything else, because it is the most precise illustration I could offer of everything this journal is about. There is a specific and particular indignity in navigating grief in public without someone beside you. Not because I cannot do it, I can do anything alone, I have proven this repeatedly and without fanfare. But because a woman like me should not have to. Because the presence of a devoted and capable partner at your side during the hardest moments of ordinary life is not a luxury. It is what partnership is for. It is, in fact, one of the most fundamental things a serious dynamic should provide: someone who stands beside you in the moments that cost you something, who carries the social weight of difficult occasions, who is simply and solidly there so that you can grieve or endure or simply get through the day without also having to do it visibly alone. I disdain it. I will not dress that up. I disdain walking into rooms full of people as a woman unaccompanied, not because my worth requires a witness, but because I have built enough of a life to deserve someone who shows up for it completely, including the parts that are not beautiful or exciting or charged with the particular electricity of our dynamic. The funeral is not glamorous. It is not a candlelit dinner or a weekend in Greece. It is a Saturday in grief clothes standing in a room full of loss, and I will do it with my back straight and my composure intact because that is who I am, and I will come home to an empty house afterward, and I will feel the absence of what should be there with the specific sharpness of something that is missing rather than something that never existed. This is what I mean when I talk about realistic expectations cutting in both directions. I am a mother first. This is not a disclaimer. It is not an apology. It is the organizing fact of my life around which everything else, including you, arranges itself. I have two children in their preteen years, which anyone who has raised children knows is one of the most demanding and most critical seasons of a young person's life. They require my presence, my attention, my emotional availability, my time, and my energy in quantities that do not leave a remainder to be distributed according to your preferences. If you have arrived here expecting a Goddess with unlimited hours and frictionless availability, you have arrived at the wrong door. This weekend, I had my children.  My time was spent on them, because it is exactly where that time should be spent.  I am also finishing my education, because I am a woman who does not stop building herself simply because life has become complex. I work. I manage a household. I carry the particular and invisible weight that women carry, the planning and the anticipating and the holding of a thousand threads simultaneously, the mental labor that has no clock-out time and no weekend. What this means for you practically is something I need you to hear completely before you decide whether this life is what you actually want or simply what you have romanticized from a comfortable distance. My time is not abundant. It is finite and it is precious and it is allocated with the precision of someone who cannot afford to waste it. There will be days, entire stretches of days, where the children need me and school demands me and work requires me and what is left over is not nothing but it is quiet and it is mine and I will spend it restoring myself rather than managing your need for attention. This is not neglect. This is the reality of serving a woman with a full and serious life, and if you cannot hold yourself with dignity and purpose during those stretches then you are not the caliber of person this dynamic requires. A serious long term FLR TPE with a woman like me is not a constant performance of dominance and submission playing out in real time every hour of every day. It is a structure. It is an understanding so deeply embedded in the way we live that it does not require constant activation. It runs underneath everything, informing how the household operates, how decisions are made, how resources are allocated, how your time and energy are directed even when I am at a school pickup or a study session or simply in a bath with the door closed and my phone face down. Your place in this dynamic is to raise me. Not in the sense that I require raising. In the sense that your devotion, your service, your resources and your effort should be oriented toward elevating my life, reducing my load, creating space around me so that I can be the mother, the student, the professional, and the Goddess that I am without the additional friction of a partner who has become another item on my list of things to manage. You are not here to add to my weight. You are here to carry some of it. That means the household runs because you run it. It means my children's lives are easier because our home is stable and managed and full of the kind of calm that only exists when someone competent is handling the infrastructure of daily life with care. It means you have found your purpose and your structure in the service itself, not in the moments of explicit dynamic play, because those moments are real but they are not the whole of what this is. The whole of what this is lives in the Tuesday afternoon when I have a deadline and a tired child and you have already handled dinner and the house is quiet and I can do what I need to do because you have made space for it. It lives in the Saturday morning of a funeral when I do not have to walk in alone. That is the submission I am describing. Not the aesthetic of it. The actual weight-bearing practice of it, daily, in the ordinary moments that make up most of a life. The grief clothes and the school pickups and the late study nights and the hard weekends. The presence that does not require the occasion to be significant in order to show up for it completely. If you can find your satisfaction there, in the real and unglamorous work of elevating another person's existence, then you understand something essential about what I am offering and what I require. The collar and the candlelight exist. They are real and they are extraordinary. But they rest on a foundation of consistent, intelligent, humble service that asks nothing of me except that I receive it well. I receive it very well. But you have to bring it first, and bring it correctly, and bring it to the funeral as readily as you bring it to the beautiful moments, because the funeral is where it counts the most and the beautiful moments are easy. I am worth the patience. I am worth the long view. I am worth showing up for on the hard Saturdays. The question is whether you are the person who actually does.

Be Available! Here is why I stress that potential online submissive men be single--meaning you should not be married or partnered or attached in any way:    I am not interested in competing for attention with this partner or spouse, nor am I interested in being their stand-in for a sexless relationship or otherwise help you sneak around behind their back. I do not intend to be held responsible should you be caught. And anyway, how can you truly be made mine if you belong to someone else?    Here is also why I make clear that you should be living alone--meaning you are the only one who resides in the house with no roommates or tenants (or partner or spouse):    If you feel the need to hide because you believe they would not understand, how can you freely behave in service to me? It would also mean never-ending waiting on my end until you were alone. Sure, you may have a job or may have an errand come up but at least when at home, you are able to freely behave according to your true nature (and my instructions).    Finally, here is why you being constantly busy or engaged will not work in my favor: Like the above two examples, it would hinder your availability and performance. I understand if you had a job that lasted from nine to five, but if the work (or any other activities) keeps you away for entire days, that does not make for satisfying service or effective communication (my tutelage and control). And I have done enough waiting.    At the end of the day, this is taking place between Me and you; the nature of the dynamic requires you to be at my beck and call as well as your undivided attention.    How can you make yourself useful to me if you are always hurting for time?    How can constant supervision be possible if you are hardly even there?    How would this respect my own time and energy?    I may have patience but only up to a certain point, especially if you’re screwing around and wasting time.

Hedonist: I am an explorer, in search of adventure, within a vast ocean of possibility. I take a versatile approach to opportunities that present themselves, chemistry is everything, but safety is paramount. In that regard, I am definitely more RACK than SSC.. It has been said, slave girl gone rogue. "I hold a beast, an angel, and a madman in me" ~ Dylan Thomas Primal: I have a strong primal side. I identify as wolf and am heavily instinct driven, often basing my decisions in life on what sniffs right or wrong. I am also arguably feral when my need calls for it. The beast inside me has teeth and provoking her is a game that you are unlikely to win. And yes.. for the relevant humans our there, if you are reading this, that is a challenge 😉 If nothing else, a chew toy is always welcome. "Woman's destiny is to be wanton, like the bitch, the she-wolf; she must belong to all who claim her. - Marquis de Sade - Philosophy in the Bedroom Sub-Leaning: Nature VS nurture is a complex argument, all journeys are unique, my needs are constantly evolving and often flex based on who I am interacting with moment to moment. "There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip away another’s soul bare, and the power to stand naked." ~ Yaldah Tovah Submissive me: I have had the privilege of serving some truly wonderful Men along my journey, and whilst the submissive inside me still craves release, it takes a very strong hand and a unique kind of strength to draw her out and inspire her to stay. As such, it is rare for her to put in an appearance.  Not-Submissive me: With other women, I am an Alpha bitch, or a soft / pleasure Domme when the chemistry presents itself. Submissive men can expect very much the opposite, worms will know their place, obey without question and not speak to me unless invited to or fuck off and do not waste my time.  Sadomasochist: I love pain. Certainly a smart arsed sadomasochist, as my mouth is all too skilled at writing cheques for my (insert body part here) to cash. Aside from that - I have a sadistic streak a mile wide.. I love to Top and take a lot of pleasure from leaving my mark, with kisses, teeth, toys, the possibilities are endless and a body is a beautiful, blessed, canvas.  Everything Else: As my profile and fetish list suggests, I've met very few kinks that haven't made my pulse quicken and I wouldn't want to do again. Life is a rainbow and there's so much to explore, ideas and inspiration are always welcome!

I appreciate all showing an interest though I am not looking for any cross dressing or feminization.. I am only looking for a quality male slave that is local living alone or a male slave who can relocate at own expense and ability to get own place close by. Either living alone or another slave can be arranged to be a roommate brother slave sharing financial responsibility in maintaining the dwelling, sharing duties with chores and sharing in serving My needs.  Besides sexual service using your holes is a given. Being trained to take torment and torture, giving Me massages, worshipping My body including rimming and My feet.  When I have gigs, I will expect you to be a grunt, gopher and whatever else I need with the booth or encampment.  Expect to be locked in chastity for periods of time and plug training to open up for fisting.  Though not living under the same roof, I will have full control around the clock, taking deeper into being a completely devoted slave  with little to no limits with full TPE.  Some experience preferred though not required if fully willing to be trained however I want.  A visit within a few months from starting to chat at your expense to get a motel room and present for an inspection.     

Something must be wrong with me I have wandered out amongst the wolves lately... I kinda knew what would happen but like everyone, I hoped for different... I hoped to find that hidden jewel standing in the shadows like I typically do, alas fools gold emerged... In my submission the power dynamic is very important, ( I do voice this upon meeting) I think it’s taken with a grain of salt but I communicate and try to warn of my insecure Self Protective Dominant Nature... I scream that I live my vanilla life in Top Space, I live there everyday, I have responsibilities there, deadlines, decisions, must do’s and I hold myself accountable to be all things and do all things... I can be quite aggressive in this world ( I’ve learned to live in ). I’m not sure these days if I’m actually conveying this or if it’s in my head .... Like a movie that plays in the background while you are thinking or doing something else. You say your a Dominant / Master or even Top... I say I’m looking for a part time arrangement because I’m married in an open relationship... He is not a Dominant / Master however he is my Alpha. I am given free license to fulfill my cravings as long as it doesn’t interfere with my marriage... ( I will admit pretty cool and I’m thankful) I love my Husband and I do serve him too ... not sure he understands it all the time but if it wasn’t for my submission to him, I would have ran a long time ago... He holds very strong with me and he does remind me of who is in charge... I then advise of my personality and my need to relinquish control but that a foundation must be built with me due to needing to trust you. I advise you about my role in my everyday life... Yes there is a lot about me ( sorry I’m so complicated) Then we start to get to know one another ... You agree this can be accomplished ... (Maybe in wishful thinking, we all have periods of that) you read my journals I’m open and honest with you. I speak of my short comings honestly I understand I’m a lot to take on ... I try to be as good as possible until you start to ask me questions or speak about techniques you don’t understand .... I try to explain. What I know ... I find out you have done no research in the lifestyle and have not reached out to anyone / or attended anything. The Power Dynamic shifts due to your lack of knowledge and I become the teacher .... Things then fall apart for me, I try to rationalize you are human and give you allowances for that .... but no I have periods of top space that go unchecked ... things crumble This is my journey ... this is why I walk away ... This is why you might see me out and then I disappear... I love this lifestyle but I will say it is the hardest thing to understand in my life... Each time this happens it takes a lot of me, leaving me empty, sad and like something is wrong with me .... Tags: (add) Aug 15, 2018

Appears i am a permanent chastity sub/slave.  Locked 842 days as of 01/20/22.   As the sub, it’s a turn-off to see a sub-cumin during play.   While important both enjoy the scene, it’s all about the pleasure of the Dom.   An exception to “enjoy” is a discipline      The scene is about Dom’s pleasure and the sub should focus on them.  

It will be OK Two drifting people on different ways,Living limited lives from distant days.Surrounded by many, yet still alone,Both in houses, but neither at home.A chance encounter - light, no more -Stirred something deep in each to the core.Old memories woke, a future appeared,New beginnings whispered where caution had steered.One stepped forward, the other stepped back,Too much to carry, too much to track.Too deep for one heart to sustain,And early joy gave way to pain.Like moths to flame they circled still,Neither yet ready for the bitter pill.Until at last he spoke his truths,Releasing both back to their roots.They dared to dream - and will again -Just not together.That much is plain.

“The Lesson in the Red Chair – Part IV: Devotion at the Edge” T.L. Duncan His forehead rested lightly against my thigh— not touching enough to claim contact, but close enough to breathe in the heat of my skin. That was important. He hadn’t earned full touch yet. “Don’t lean on me,” I warned softly. “You’re in my space, not holding onto me.” He exhaled a broken sound, forcing his trembling legs to support him while keeping his forehead just shy of resting. Good. That tension would serve me well. I let my fingers hover over the back of his neck— close enough for him to feel the warmth, but never letting my skin meet his. “You’re still shaking,” I murmured with quiet amusement. “Yes, Ma’am…” “From the edge?” “Y-yes…” “Good. Stay there.” His breath caught. “You think edging is just denial,” I said, tone low and precise. “But real edging—my edging—turns your obedience into instinct. Not wanting. Not hoping. Serving.” His fingers twitched behind his back, desperate to steady himself. “Keep them still,” I said without raising my voice. He froze instantly. “That’s devotion,” I continued, leaning close enough that my breath brushed his ear. “Not touching me. Not begging. Not climbing into my lap the way your body wants to. Devotion is obeying while everything in you shakes.” He swallowed hard. “Now lift your chin. Keep your hands behind you.” He raised his face slowly, eyes wide and glassy from the ache in his thighs, the tension in his spine, the constant, torturous nearness of pleasure with no release. I placed two fingers under his jaw—light as a whisper—tilting his face up further. “There,” I murmured. “That’s what devotion looks like on you.” A shudder rolled through him, nearly taking him off his knees. “Careful,” I warned. “If you fall, we start over from the beginning.” His breath hitched; he forced every muscle to obey. “Good boy.” The phrase hit him like heat, full-body and overwhelming. His lips parted in a helpless moan he tried to swallow. “That reaction,” I said softly, tracing my fingertip down the air just above his throat without touching his skin, “is why I keep you hovering. Your devotion sharpens when your pleasure threatens to break you.” He breathed harder. “You’re going to show service while you stay edged,” I said. “Slowly. Precisely. Without touching me unless I allow it.” He nodded once, reverently. “Start by spreading your knees wider.” He did—shaking, breath catching. “Back straighter.” He corrected himself. “Open your mouth.” He did—soft, vulnerable, obedient. I leaned down, my lips hovering a fraction above his. One-inch distance. Half an inch. A breath away. His entire body seized in anticipation. Then I pulled back just enough to make him exhale in a stunned, broken whisper of need. “Not yet,” I murmured. “But your devotion just earned you something else.” He swallowed hard. “Place your hands on your thighs,” I said. He obeyed instantly. “Now run your palms slowly down them… not to touch yourself… but to show me how you present for your Domme.” He slid his palms down in a reverent motion, every movement slow, controlled, worshipful— his hands trembling as he fought not to drop into instinct. “Good,” I whispered. “Again.” He did it, hips shifting involuntarily as the edging tightened in his body. “Hold still,” I snapped. He froze, teeth clenched, lower lip trembling. “Look at me,” I said. His eyes snapped to mine, raw and pleading. “You’re offering yourself,” I said softly. “Not for release. For service. And you’ll keep doing it while your body begs you to fall apart.” He moaned, breathless. “Because I said so,” I added. His head fell back slightly, overwhelmed. “And that is what devotion feels like at the edge.” His palms slid down his thighs in that reverent, trembling motion I commanded. He was barely holding the edge of himself together — breath shuddering, muscles taut, the ache between denial and devotion turning his whole body into a live wire. “Again,” I ordered. He obeyed, slower this time, because he was losing the ability to do anything quickly. His mind had melted into obedience. His body was shaking from the precision of holding position. “Good boy,” I murmured. That word — good — broke him more than anything else. I saw it happen. The micro-collapse. The body betraying him before the mind could stop it. His knee shifted. Just half an inch. But enough. He knew it immediately. He gasped softly, panic flashing across his face, and tried to return to the exact posture — but he was already too late. I stood. The room froze around him. His breathing quickened, edging into fear-laced anticipation. I walked a slow circle around him, letting the sound of my heels carve dread into every nerve he had left. When I stopped behind him, I spoke in a low, controlled voice. “What did you just do?” His voice cracked as he whispered, “I—I slipped, Ma’am…” “You didn’t slip,” I corrected, leaning down so my breath grazed his nape. “You broke position.” “Yes, Ma’am… I’m sorry…” <

I swear, it has been literal years since the last time I have been a part of this community seriously.  I believe back then, I was alot more open - which is to say, alot more naive. I'm not sure what to make of any of this right now, to be completely honest. I have an inbox full of unread messages that literally give me anxiety. I don't know if the world was always as dangerous as it is now, or that I'm simply more cognitive of it. I remember wanting things, yearning for things... for a certain sort of understanding. I'm not sure if that feeling is still there, or if I am the person that is now reluctant to look that deeply inward in regards to the heart.   I do know that if I were to sit and think about it, I could pinpoint the exact things that have changed for me. Boundaries. I had none before. I was willing to compromise myself for the sake of inclusion and getting along. I don't do that anymore. I recently walked away from a relationship in which, had I stayed, I would not have had to worry about anything financially for the rest of my life. But I was not willing to compromise my peace, my sanity and my boundaries for it. It was a learning experience... and more than anything, it was understanding that these interpersonal relationships are something of a balancing act. I pinpointed the moment I fell out of love and instead of gaslighting myself, I listened. This is the most free I have felt in nearly year.   So I'm here now. A bit all over the place. Quieter. Hesitant to engage because I prefer to observe. I am in no rush. Who is meant to find me, will find me. I trust my gut these days. And I have found happiness in so many other things. I have a beautiful home, a wonderful family...I have my fairy twinkly lights that I love turning on when the whole house is dark, I have all my books, candles, incense, warmth... my own space. I have this life that I have carefully cultivated over the last three years. And I am happy. Of course there is always that question....that small bit of wanting in the back of my mind. I'm not always certain if I want to give into that desire, to explore it. My subsmissive side is ...very much who I am. And yet I have learned that I still get to have autonomy. I still get to decide who I want in this space. I get to be picky. Careful. Meticulous. Deliberate. There is no rush. What is meant to be, will be.

FEEL MY CONTROL Need me to rub your belly???? Feel the warmth of my lip and gentle flow of my breath As I softly kiss around your naval My breast slide over your penis. You feel the warmth of my breath It's hard and pulsating   I can  feel it throbbing Tell me that you want me I stand and allow you to undress me I push you back on the bed Leaning over you, looking into your eyes, I place a kiss on your head So nice and hard I must taste Pulsating in my mouth Leaking a juice so sweet I crawl on the bed and pull you on top of me and tell you Put it inside me now!!! I am so aroused I cum quickly Working on my next explosion Grabbing you and pulling you deeper inside me I am taking every inch of you My breast are bouncing And you gentle hold them down as you suck pull and bite my nipples I tell you not to move I just want to feel myself grinding on you I cum again So nice and hot as it squirts all over us both I slap your ass and tell you fuck me hard We repo to a scissor position My knee bent to my face as you lean in for leverage I rub my clit as you are pounding my pussy I cum again I tell you to take your cock out and rub my juices around my pussy and ass I make you stand and I suck my juices off your cock and balls I play with your cock rubbing sucking and stroking. Massaging your balls, so very hard You moan and you want to grab my head and I tell you not to touch Edging you and then easing off I slow the licking and sucking down You have some much sweet juice just leaking I allow drops on my breast I rub the head over my nipples covering my breast with your juice I think shall I let you cum?   You say oh yes mistress please let me Are you going to be my good boy I do what you ask......ma'am please I turn and get on all four and tell you I want you to cum in my ass You enter very slow and gentle We get into an intense rhythm I can feel all of you I tell you to tell me what you want I want to cum in your ass Tell me again I want to cum deep in your beautiful black ass Harder and faster Baby make me feel it!! You know I am fixing to explode as you feel my body tremble Are you going to cum with me Oh yes mistress may I Oh yes we erupt together All nice hot and sweaty As I allow you to just relax on top of me and let your juices drain in me I then tell you to come lay beside me As you lay beside I rub him slowly until he falls asleep Are you nice and relaxed my pet........WOW  

The ritual for asking to speak I get questions from slaves frequently. Many slaves seem to think it is a slave's entitlement to ask questions of a Master at any time in any fashion. This is a false assumption to make with Me. Below is the ritual a slave must follow if it desires to speak when in My presence. A slave that wishes to ask Me a question on line should at least observe the ritual as best it can. The ritual for asking a question (or being allowed to speak for that matter) of Me when it is My presence is to kneel and put its lips and tongue to use on My shoes. Then while it kisses and licks, it waits for Me to acknowledge it. This may take a while as what ever I am engaged in is more important than the slave's request for recognition. Should I tire of its presence I may dismiss it with a word or a, maybe not so gentle, kick to the side of the face. The slave must wait at least 15 minutes before attempting to get My attention again. its question must have some value to what I care about, or, the slave will be punished. If slave should intrude on My time on line to ask a question that is answered in the writings it can find herein it risks being blocked.

The change is real on this platform.  Remade an account and scrolled through some profiles.  I feel as though that was a mistake altogether.  I loved the profiles that displayed individuals who could not take care of themselves making demands of various subs.  Those were my favorite.  If you are unwilling to take care of yourself, your health, your diet, your life...allow me to enlighten you please, You Have No Room to Demand Anything of Anyone as a presumed "Dom."  My goodness, I felt like I was going through a Kinder class asking all the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up.  I honestly originally came back on this platform because I remembered years ago reading a post of someone asking for a partner to dance with.  This was obviously not the typical dance though.  This dance was masked dance where the user wished to find a dance partner that would never see their face.  They would never be revealed to the Sub, however they would know literally everything about the Sub.  If and when the Dom was ready to have playtime with the Sub, they would still never even see their face.  Im into masks, not the normal kind.  Im a sapiosexual to a degree.  I value the investment of control.  Im curious.  Honestly, I wish that Dom found someone to dance with, because that honestly sounds like one hell of a dance.  Its fucking hot, dangerous af, but hot. https://www.collarspace.com/personals/v/2923761/details.htm

 We here at the House of G are continuously evolving and growing and the training of our slaves is a daily ongoing process. We also train our Dominants and future Masters the same way. As you can tell by now, we are a training environment. However, we are TPE/24-7 (Total Power Exchange) and RT (Real-time), we do very little online. That does not mean that we are not willing to share information or to help other people in our lifestyle grow, but there are just some things that just do not work well online. As for collars of consideration, we here at the House of G do not believe in them. In fact, I as the Master of the House of G, do not even offer my collar to people, they must ask for it and prove their worth before receiving it. Once they have it, it doesn’t end there; they must work hard to keep it. I have addressed this in several forums, and we are hoping soon to have our own website up, where Masters and Dominants who wish to learn can come together and share information. As far as the House goes, our location currently is in Carrollton GA, we would be glad to make ourselves available, if you would like to come see us, provided after a few more conversations online that we find that your mindset is compatible with ours.

Fear the past: In the shadows of my past, a man filled with rage, Terrified of losing control, trapped in a cage. Once consumed by anger, consumed by hate, Afraid to unlock the demons, their destructive fate.   Like a storm on the horizon, brewing deep within, Memories of the past, where darkness had been. Fear grips my heart, as I walk this fragile line, Afraid to slip back, to a time so unkind.   But in the depths of despair, a flicker of hope, A light in the darkness, a way to cope. I find strength in the present, in the love that surrounds, A new path forward, where solace abounds.   Though the fears may linger, like shadows in the night, I choose to face them, to stand and fight. For within me lies the power to change, To break free from the past, to find a new range.   So I tread this path with caution, with courage by my side, Facing my fears head-on, with nowhere to hide. For in embracing my vulnerability, I find my true self, A man reborn, no longer trapped by anger's stealth.