I'm still in search of a LOCAL domestic to do house cleaning (dusting, bathroom cleaning, laundry, maybe some light cooking, etc.)  I'm also seeking a grunt to help Me clear out some useless stuff in the basement. Not to mention the ongoing search for a local special sub/slave to serve Me and who will learn his place. I have these listed separately because I know that not everyone can handle all that's involved and do it well.  If you can, let Me know. Note: I have a dog in case you have allergy issues. Serious inquiries only.

I keep receiving mails of str8 men who after reading my writings realize that their str8 orientation is a lie inasmuch the reality is more complex than that. The feel, act, and view themselves as str8 or at the very least a top. However, once they encounter th mirror I place in front of them they come to realize that, true they feel str8 but deep inside there's a yearn to be with a man, a man better than them, one with whom they can be vulnerable and submissive. Onece they find that man they realize that all their actions were directed at this man in their uncon dreams. They want total surender and control and that means as i have mention many times, offering their bodies and masculinity. The issue is that in their close circle they are the man, they perform and command, yet it is hollow the real appreciation is not coming from the man they know is out there and they wish they could be in his arms, under him, or between his legs.  Nothing is off the table, they present all their actions are and have to his bull and they are happy they did. In cuckolding situations it is always the wife (mostly) who initiate the m2m breeding after watching her husband's arousal when she is taken deep and hard; they want that but still str8 it must be done for obedience to the wife. I play along because I know they will end up begging for cock. The question of why do I like str8 males is easy to answer, power. The thrill of eroding years of lies and being there to soothe the pain and reap the rewards. If the male is worthy of me in a longer timeline I will either make him into a male bride or ritualize his entry into a bisexual life. I do not want for them to only desire being mounted, that is my privileg and only mine. I want them to continue their life but knowing that the top (them) now found his bull. 

You know what’s exhausting? Trying to find a cuck who doesn’t think this whole thing is just porn with extra steps. I say I want a cuckold dynamic, and suddenly it’s like a casting call for some low-budget fantasy film—every message is dripping in desperation, humiliation scripts, and requests to be called a “worthless beta” before we’ve even exchanged actual names. Sir, I don’t even know if you can hold a conversation, let alone your composure. I’m not here to be your fetish vending machine. I want a cuck. Not a walking orgasm who calls me “Goddess” and short circuits the minute I say I’ve slept with someone else. I want the real power dynamic. The psychological play. The emotional tension. The devotion. The surrender that goes deeper than a dick pic and a dream. I want a man who’s secure enough to be insecure in front of me—who can handle the ache and arousal of knowing I’ll take what I want, with or without his permission. Someone who craves the emotional weight of being left out, not just the messy details. Where are the men who want to serve and surrender without turning the entire experience into a script from some recycled femdom clip? Can you be still? Can you be present? Can you feel it instead of just stroking to it? That’s what I want,But until then, I guess I’ll keep sifting through the inbox circus. At this rate, I’ll find a real cuck after I find Bigfoot and a man who reads full profiles. one can dream right   

10 Please Join Us DECK THE BALLS Party Let’s make this holiday season unforgettable! Save the date for our Deck the Balls extravaganza. Wednesday december Las Vegas Strip

Just a thought My dear sublook at you. Lying there so patiently, a good boy eager to please. You know what's coming, don't you? You feel the anticipation, the delicious thrill of expectation. My cock awaits, and so does the sting. Yes, there may be a little discomfort, a little tightness at first. But you understand, don't you? This is necessary. This is how you earn my approval, how you make your Mistress C proud.I will be patient, for a while. I'll let your little hole adjust. I'll feel the warmth of your body as it yields, just slightly. It will be an exquisite dance, a slow burn of pleasure and pain intermingling. There may be tears, little whimpers of protest. But these are merely a testament to the depth of your surrender, the degree to which you are allowing your Mistress to claim you.Every inch will be taken. Every thrust will be felt.I will alternate, exploring each facet of your yielding flesh. This is for your own good, little one.I am both ruthless and gentle – a delicate balance that you are privileged to experience. You will learn to crave the sting, the pressure, the feeling of being completely at my mercy.And then... then the patience will end. The rhythm will quicken, the pace will become furious. I will pound your hole, hard and fast, until you are screaming through that pitiful gag of yours. You will beg for it to stop, but your pleas are just music to our ears.I will take your desperate cries and weave them into our own symphony of dominance.I will show you the true meaning of being owned. I will show you the power of a Mistress's touch. I will show you what it means to truly be mine.  

Without a doubt, this site has become somewhat disappointing.  The same people continue to CLAIM that they are seeking an owner, play, or just sex, yet are only haphazardly playing the contact game.    Now to top it off the site webmaster has changed the definition of FEMALE to Feminine adding to the overall confusion for people as myself seeking ONLY HETROSEXUAL contacts - not trans-anything! I don't care how you identify - that's your thing.  I do not and will not shove my cock into a man's asshole!  That's my thing!    So I respectfully ask you who are inclined to list yourself as feminine - at least provide us STRAIT guys seeking a WOMAN a heads up.  To all the natural women posting - if you haven't found your niche after 2-10 years on this site - it's most likely not going to happen, or maybe it's you?  

DRAMA FREE ZONE! About Me BDSM ROCKS Music: Rock- classic/hard/metal, country, rockabilly, blues and jazz etc. Movies: I like movies that make me laugh or keep me on edge. TV: Game of Thrones. Dexter. The Vikings. I HATE reality shows. Handmaids Tale. Keeping up Appearances. MOM. The Goldbergs. Call the Midwife. Vikings Valhalla. Sports: OHIO STATE! Interests: Harleys, Music, Bands, Spring/Fall and Winter, I dislike summer. Hate to sweat (menopause is a bitch), Budweiser Beer, Mountains, History, Earth, Space, Camping, auctions, flea markets, technology, coasters and tattoos. BDSM and Poly Dreams: I dream of a relaxed, exciting, smart, silly, not too shy, not toooo friendly, honest, affectionate, reality-based, eager to learn, eager to teach, kinda cute, kinda funny but not funny looking explorer to share days, nights, weekends, adventures, conversations, dinners, breakfasts, kisses, good food and dreams of things to come. Bad boys with tattoos! Dominates! Best Features: My brain and the person I am. I have a killer personality. About Me: "Some guys don't like girls like me, Awwww but some guys do". I am a God-fearing woman. I am eclectic, eccentric, and scatter-brained with a touch of ADHD. I love to ride. Though I do not personally own a bike, I ride every chance I get with friends. I think the government hides more from us than we can imagine. I drink and sometimes am tooo honest and say things I should not. I was raised an only girl with 3 brothers, I am the oldest but to them, I am always gonna be " Baby Sis". I can be a best friend or partner in crime. I'll help you move. Hell, I'll even help you move a body. I expect help when I move though. I keep my circle of friends small but close. My friends don't all know each other but all have the same mindset. I'd like to one day be traveling in one of those RV's. Or live in a castle complete with a dungeon. Where to find me: Where can I find You? Things that SUCK: Perverts, rapists, child molesters, Sharia Law, terrorists, Full page comments, Chain letter comments, Auto-play - Nuff said, 20 year old girls from Malaysia contacting 47 year old guys from USA., Happy clowns, spiders, racist scum, Political correctness, Being alone, Men who don't love me, Mushrooms (unless they are trippy) and onions, Heavy Rap, Hoppy Beers, Junkies, Narrow minded assholes, Dishonesty, Seeds, Having the wrong lottery numbers, Rent payments, Car payments, Wars over Bullshit, Summer, Celibacy, Traffic, CEO's, LEO's , Getting old, Laundry, Serial killers, Random killers, Killers, Taxes, Reality shows, Politics, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Rieley, Extremists of all sorts, high shipping prices, stalkers. Jail. More things that suck: Summer, Stems, Mean drunks, Parking tickets, Viruses on porn sites, losing at anything, The heroin dealing assholes of everywhere!, Jaeger bombs, Nazis, Not getting flirty tags, 9/11/2001, Lost loved ones, Katrina, Calling a spade a club, Packing and moving, animal abusers, Thinking everything sucks Things that rock: Friends and family who love me, Blue purple, green and black, Free tv and movies, Fine agriculture, Being in the mountains, Chinese food, Being cool, My woman cave, Me, My friends, Being in love, Sex, Life, My Family, Rock & roll, Humor, Good vodka and pineapple rum, Little Beers, winning a game, Smiling people, Tattoos, All of my friends which are far and in between due to people being jackasses. Finding my REAL dominant to train me properly.

Ms. Cosmic, tell us how you really feel about the most recent election results... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8VZX4sHn-4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35rHHEiNaIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-3BI9AspYc https://www.google.com/search?q=war+pigs+women&oq=war+pigs+women&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIICAEQABgWGB4yCAgCEAAYFhgeMggIAxAAGBYYHjINCAQQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAUQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAYQABiGAxiABBiKBTINCAcQABiGAxiABBiKBTIKCAgQABiABBiiBDIKCAkQABiABBiiBNIBCDU3ODhqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:dddeac4f,vid:Vj4SJolBPt0,st:0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3SZu_KhWig https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO1QyidBUPg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EWqTym2cQU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbNekA18FgM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgwQG3MYp3o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1kEjj3Ej68 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gv_K7G13sXo lol

I'm English. Where the language comes from. Dominant is an adjective. It describes a thing. As in, "The dominant person." It commonly gets shorted into noun form, as a thing unto itself. As in, "The dominant slapped some knowledge into the illiterate." To dominate is a verb. It's a doing word. You use it like, "He dominated the test." "She dominated the opposition." "The dominant dominated the submissive." When you find yourself writing the words, "I am a dominate," what you are actually saying is, "I am an illiterate twat who doesn't know the difference between a verb and an adjective or noun. Now please ignore that I can't apply enough thinking to use the language without hurting myself and please trust me with your safety instead." Should you find yourself writing, "I am seeking my ideal dominate," what you are really saying is, "I am not seeking a literate disciplinarian as they would be forced to beat me until all of their toys broke." As an Englishman, it goes without saying that the above is presented with hyperbolic sarcasm. But if we're struggling with nouns vs verbs, trying to explain sarcasm is unlikely to go well.

Update: One supposed slave interview done and gone.  He didn't understand the concept of trust, respect and communication. Oh well, his loss.  Next! Today was the first day My mother asked what My name was.  Startiling rights of passage this is.  Thank GOD I'm in therapy!  We are coping. Every six weeks or so another down shift in life.  Still, I'm so very grateful to have this woman who has given UNCONDITIONAL LOVE all of My life.  It is nothing for Me to sacrifice for those who give of their self to Me. I'm about JOY and LOVE, healing and experiencing, SERVICE, POWER EXCHANGE and MY WORLD.  While I can and do explore the depths and shadows of Myself and others, I'm most serious about sharing with people who LISTEN and do what they are told.  While I may dance on the edges, there are simply some places I have no desire to go.  Some of those 'been there done  that and have stock in those T-shirts' kind  kind of dark places.  Others are the kind where only pain, lies, deceit and harm come into play.  I'm not here to break others down.  My power, if you will, My control likes the light of day to shine down and upon in glistening delight. Lastly, looks like I may have offended some with My cunt life choice post.  It is unfortunate that some were offended. Personally, I only speak like that - brass tacks and bold - when I get offended.  I'm OFFENDED that anyone thinks the law has business with My body.  I'm offended anyone thinks they have some right over My body.  Can you imagine what men would have to say if we placed fines every time a man committed infidelity or created a law about their ejacualtion practices?  LOL perposterous that anyone thinks it is okay to create a law which takes a human right away from rather than giving to.  Life is sacred, but yall don't get to choose for Me. The only thing that laws on womens bodies does, is makes women break laws and jeaopardizes our health mentally, physically, spiritually.  The fact that any of yall can live with those consequences just demonstrates how truly barbaric and primative man can be.  With this said, I realize it is not everyone who believes in these arcane practices.  But there are obviously enough of you to have women still being treated like second class citizens.  Be careful what you ask for and wish for cause KARMA IS A BITCH!

🌿🌾about me:🌾🌿 hello my name is pebble. I am a traditional girlfriend and slave with a twist of modern realistic values. 👽what does that mean and entail? I am happy you asked!👽 I am a stay-at-home live-in-girlfriend who also is a practicing lifestyler. my role in my relationship is that of tradition. I make sure the house is clean and dinner is ready when my man gets home. I make sure his coffee is ready in the morning before he goes to work and that at the end of a long hard day of him working he comes home to a slut in the bedroom. I seek out a protector and gentleman both in my relationship and friendships with others.  👽🌾 so do you want to be friends and wait for the aliens to come enslave us humans?🌾👽

Hotel from a sluts POV   We check into the hotel and as we are standing at the desk you brush your arm 'accidentally' across my nipples which are swollen and tied sticking out under my top being constantly rubbed and I'm trying to hide them as I know they are really visible. The reception definitely can't see my swollen tied clit or the sink plugs in my arse and cunt that are stretching my holes right in front of her but she can see in my face that I am slightly flushed and breathing a bit heavily. I wish she would type faster!  Finally we have our key. You tell me to walk ahead of you to the lift, I know this is so you can watch me on my heels in my tight skirt trying not to walk like a Slut full of cock.  We are in the lift alone and you take advantage of the time to rub over your handy work on my tits and cunt making me shake and cry out. And Cum inside myself. Unable to release it because of the plug. You smile at me and laugh at how ruined i am tonight. Already begging for you to fuck me.  In the room i stand in front of you with my hands on my head and my legs apart and wait for my master to tell me what to do next. You stroke over my body and sharply pull my nipples, bringing me round from my drift and then sit me down firmly on a chair in the corner and opening up a bottle of champagne that is on the desk. I am wriggling in the chair, trying not to moan out loud with the anticipation and my holes open.  You pour us a glass and turn around and sit on the sofa opposite and tell me to crawl over to you. I slowly crawl across the room my nipples rubbing on my shirt my clit rubbing when I move my legs because it is so swollen. I get to you and you tell me to kneel...  You lift me into your lap by my nipples making me get tears in my eyes and roughly hold me by the neck sideways on your knee...  With your free hand you pass my drink and tell me to drink it I am thirsty from breathing hard and knock it back. You put the glass down and spread my legs and tap on the plugs in my holes staring into me while I beg you to open me up and touch me inside....  You pull the sink plug out of my cunt tube leaving it held open and poke up inside me so I can feel the tip of your fingers deep in me but nothing where the tube sits making me really aware that I am gaped....  I can hear myself begging... Please Master, fill me up with your fist and cock I need it so much. .... then I feel a bit of a lurch and sway into you, I can still hear myself begging and moaning but everything is getting a bit weird and I realise, as I pass out that you are telling me that when I wake up I will get what a Slut deserves......  I don't know how long I am asleep.  I come to hog tied.  It is dark so I am blindfolded  I can't hear anything except my own heart and inner voice.  My mouth is now plugged like the other holes.  I wonder how this going to go!

As an experienced Dominant in the leather community, I can certainly understand the appeal of consensual objectification within a safe, sane space. When I discover that my submissive derives pleasure from being treated as an object of desire, it elicits a complex range of emotions.   There is a sense of power and control, knowing I can shape their experience and push the boundaries of their submission. But there is also a deep well of trust and responsibility that comes with that. I must handle their vulnerability with the utmost care, ensuring their needs are met even as I strip away their agency.   It's a delicate dance, really.    On one hand, there’s the thrill of reducing them to a mere plaything for my enjoyment.    On the other hand, there’s the profound connection of being entrusted with their most intimate desires. It's a privilege to be granted that level of trust and intimacy. And with that privilege comes the duty to wield it wisely, to push just to the edge without ever compromising their safety or well-being.   Does that resonate with you? The heady mix of control and care, power and responsibility? Please speak to me, and let us explore this dynamic further in the confines of our sacred space.

Since my last journal entry things have moved on fairly significantly. Glenn who is Sue's former bull from years ago and his partner Deb are very active swingers as well as being into the bdsm scene and have encouraged Sue to visit them on a fairly regular basis. At the moment she is going virtually every other weekend plus the occasional night away. I will confine this entry to just one of her visits and hopefully keep you updated on a more regular basis if anyone is interested.  On this particular occasion Glenn and Debs were going to an event up country so rather than Sue drive down to there house she arranged to meet them at Exeter services and I was to drive her there. Sue had taken the Friday and Monday off to allow plenty of time. Usually Glenn specifies what Sue should wear for the journey and this time was no different although a little more discreet as they would be stopping at services, so Sue was dressed in a silver satin blouse, black knee-length skirt, but with a rear slit, black seamed stockings with suspender belt and black patent heels as she wasn't driving. Over this her shiny pvc mac, she was in full make up including bright red nails and wearing her handcuff necklace and ankle chain and I must admit she looked so fucking sexy. At the services I dropped her off in the carpark and she walked into the entrance to meet Glenn and Debs pulling her wheeled suitcase that had several outfits, toys and hoods in. I was in my new tiny chastity cage and wearing satin panties and stockings under my trousers as instructed by Glenn.  I will add more as soon as I have time. 

When we kiss When we kiss Bears and boulders Vibrate through the air i will probably do a whole post on laura veirs. her songs are little girl and softcore approved. but this song when i heard it over 10 years ago..this is love. just a simple share.   When you sing When you sing Stars fill up my eyes   Galaxies Pour down my cheeks Galaxies   Galaxies They flood the street Galaxies   When we dance When we dance Eels and sea grass float on by   I? m ten thousand leagues Beneath the sea Ten thousand leagues   Ten thousand leagues Beneath the green Ten thousand leagues   When we kiss When we kiss Bears and boulders Vibrate through the air   Gravity Is dead you see No gravity   All I need Is beating red No gravity   No gravity No gravity   No gravity No gravity   No gravity No gravity  

I’m not interested in disrespectful, fake subs who throw temper tantrums like toddlers denied candy. I’m not here for a drama queen who thinks his pussy is somehow better than mine — sweetie, we’re not comparing fruit here. Life’s too short for attitude, bad manners, and ego contests. If you want my time, bring respect, humor, and a little humility… otherwise, you can keep your crown and your tantrums for someone else’s court

Message to women of all natures on here. Not to sound paranoid but I am noticing a flux of messages from European men trying to invite themselves into my company. Can you all be vigilant if a man uses the words relocation and marriage in the same sentence. I have been bitten once by a German man who in my opinion clearly invites himself across Europe into people's homes for free food and stay.  I am assuming there may be a European influencer advising men this is ok. There also seems to be a bit of a scam where a man claims they travel all over the world and then says they won't be back till X date.  I think this is another scam where they claim to be successful and the travelling lifestyle appeals to most but I think it is just another scam.   Luckily, I have not been bitten by that nonsense but ladies be vigilante, give the normal men a chance and the ones acting strange and pretending to be high flyers, don't give them any of your time.   If you want a rich old man go to SugarDaddy.com, if you want a normal kinky man just be patient and kind to others.  

The Brightest Mark of Ruin   She had warned him. Not with raised voice or trembling lip. The way a storm warns you: a change in pressure, a stillness that precedes something absolute. She had looked at him with those eyes that always saw further into him than was comfortable and said, quietly, with the patience of someone who has never needed to repeat Herself: "Your body is mine. Your word is mine. Everything you signed your name to belongs to me now. Cross me unforgivably and I will not punish you. I won't need to. You will lose everything we have built, and it will be like poison in your veins." He had meant it the way weak men mean everything: completely, warmly, right up until the moment it cost him something. There was a contract. A real document, negotiated with Her characteristic precision, each clause a brick in something She was genuinely building. He had signed it with both hands steady and the particular glow of a man who has just been given more than he deserves. The ink was barely dry before he started deciding which parts applied to him. The protocols She had built as architecture, the daily rituals that kept him tethered and honest, he let them erode with the indifference of someone who has confused being trusted with being unsupervised. Then he put his hands on someone else. Not a stumble. A decision, made repeatedly, to take what belonged to their bond and spend it somewhere cheaper. He came home from it and looked Her in the eye and said nothing, and that silence was its own act of violence. When She found out, She came to him without hysteria, without tears, with complete and devastating composure. She asked him once for the truth. What he did next cannot be softened. He became physical, used his body the way cowards do, and drove Her from the home and safety that had been Hers. She left not because She was weak but because She has never once in Her life tolerated the intolerable. She did not come back. She didn't need to. The community moved the way water moves around a stone. No tribunal, no dramatic exile. People simply became unavailable. Conversations ended when he entered them. The doors didn't slam. They simply stopped opening. And She had not campaigned, had not made calls, because women of genuine authority do not need to destroy you manually. They tell the truth once, to the people who matter, and the truth does the rest. He still tries. He appears at the edges of gatherings with the careful posture of someone who has rehearsed his normalcy, performing the shape of a man who has grown and arrived humbly at the gates of a second chance. Every experienced Domme in the room clocks it within minutes. The hollowness. The grasping. The unmistakable vibration of a man whose submission is a strategy rather than a truth. They decline, one after another, sometimes without a word, sometimes with a look that says they know exactly what they are looking at. This is Her work, and She isn't even trying. The contract still exists. She has it. Every line he failed, every clause he desecrated, every promise subsequently dismantled brick by brick. It is not a document anymore. It is an accounting, and it will follow him into every room he tries to enter, every connection he tries to build, every carefully managed first impression, until he has repaid what he owes in full. Everything must be returned to Her as was originally decreed for the poison to ebb. To the world he dirtied by what he did to Her, to the fidelity he shattered, the safety he violated, the home he poisoned : These things do not expire. They accrue interest. She is woven into the world he still wants access to. Her judgment lives in it. He cannot go anywhere She has not already been, cannot reach anyone She does not already know. She is not a chapter; She is the book, and he is a footnote in a hand everyone can see was shaking. She is not thinking of him. That is precisely the point. He is living inside the shape of Her absence, and it fits him like the life sentence it is.

I read it but.... * I didn't really read the words I just looked at the pics * I didn't think when you said I had to be in the same country that you meant physically had to be * I didn't think when you said no one under 50 that you would not make an exception for me as I am very mature * I didn't think when you did not say to send the pic, I have of myself to you when I ask that you really didn't want to see the pic of myself.  * I didn't think you meant you would not give me a chance, after all, how can you resist me Well, I filled out my profile and made it as simple as I can so please don't think you can get me to play a game so you get what you want. Read my profile and respect it. I am happy to chat nothing more if you don't fit the bill. 

Just so you know I am addicted to cotton school girl plaid skirts with opaque white pantyhose  or thigh high nylons. Also addicted to gingham checks for skirts and dresses and blouses. These fabrics and patterns really get me excited and turned on sexually and always catches my eye when anyone is wearing these. Also addicted to white in most all feminine clothing, but especially white, tight denim fem jeans and shorts. Also get excited with cotton dresses and skirts and camisole tops in stripes. Love those stripes! Now do not laugh at this but the cotton check table cloths, like in Italian Restaurants and Pizza Parlors also turns me on. I like the smell of that type of cotton fabric along with the check pattern. Horny Crossdresser !!!

I’m looking for good little subbies and sissies to be in pictures and videos for My fan page content & social media. You will receive in person domination, humiliation, worship, chastity teasing and other fun. Meanwhile I’ll be giggling and snapping pictures of you! I also love showing the pictures to my Girlfriends and tweeting My fav   You must be in good shape, fun, obedient, open-minded and local to me/Able to travel .   I’m in the UK. SOUTH WEST  

I want to break you I want to break you, but I highly doubt I mean that in the way you've heard it used so many times before. Where it is most commonly used is by those who wants the perks of being a dominant/master/daddy whatever without any of the challenges or effort that requires. I've heard the same retellings of the same kinds of stories by submissive women over the years. The dominants who tell women they aren't true submissives because they dared ask a question? Those who's ego are so incredibly fragile they throw a fit at even the suggestion of someone "challenging" them. Those who demand superficial respect instead of cultivating it. Those who are so insecure in their control that they need to exercise it endlessly. Those who want to destroy out of insecurity and hate. Yes I want to break you. I want to break you free from the noise that holds you back. I want to break the mental walls that separate you from the pure submissive being you crave to be. I want to break you of the need to be something that doesn't bring you fulfillment. I want to break you of the aimless lack of purpose. I want to break you free from the confinement that freedom actually is. I want to break you of everything holding you back from being the content, fulfilled, devoted, soft, purpose filled, sub/slave that you know you are and just can't reach.

You have to appreciate when someone goes the extra mile to let you know they aren't stalking you, they just like your journal. Nothing ridiculous has happened lately and I haven't felt like diving into the serious. Unless you count that I am so obsessed with playing this game that my left arm gets sore from holding the phone. God damn random user named Michael tried to overthrow my supreme reign, like I was going to let that happen. Kiss it, Michael. He came in third place and I am not ashamed to say I'm glad someone else swooped in and stole second out of nowhere. I usually don't have much of a competitive streak, I don't think. I play games and take risky chances because it's just a game. And that whole big risk, big reward thing. I might also like to trip people up and will ruin my card hand to make sure you don't get the seven of diamonds. Maybe I am competitive. Or just a pain in the ass.  Is bigfoot real? Back up your statement with facts. 

So it dawns on me, that my profile isn't 100% accurate. When it came to filling in the sexuality section, the only options were straight, gay, bi and pan. I chose pan because the other options don't fit. In reality I am polysexual, which means attracted to more than one gender, but not all, whereas pan means everyone and anyone. In regards to my polysexuality it means I am romantically and sexually attracted to feminine energy, so: CIS women, Trans Women, Trans Feminine, those who are Gender fluid but mainly fem presenting. The terms Finsexual, and Gynesexual also fit.  I would also have to say that I lean towards being Demi-Sexual as well, needing a connection, but depending on the energies at play, something more spontaneous can occur.  I am not sure if people bother to read profiles, or journals, but if they do, then this information, I hope is helpful.  Tain 

Normal 0 Yes i put it on my other one too   lol Thought I would put this here.  We all know how long updating your profile takes  LOL  I was passing the time one evening responding to emails (sorry I'm behind, getting better though  lol)  I accidentally pushed the "home" button, which no longer refreshes the page, but shows you profiles of all that are currently online. I started reading other's profiles (Dominant and submissive) and I was surprised to see there are still some lifestyle people on this thing  lol   Below are some phrases here and there and adjusted them to fit me, as well as some of my own words, to explain yet another way what I am looking for. (So thank you fellow CS'ers for the help  lol):    Even though I have a rather in depth profile, I still get asked what I'm looking for.  So hopefully this will work for everyone (yeah yeah yeah I know the wankers aren't going to read this either LOL):    Looking for a slave to train with love and discipline. I'm looking for a partner(s) that is no where near a doormat, like so many on here,  I am way too busy to deal with the game players that seem to keep finding me here. I am looking for someone who can hold their own in the vanilla world during business functions, etc., but also has the ability to enjoy and obey the rules and regs of the D/s lifestyle.    I want my companion slave to be my lover (someone that can and will hold me at night), a friend (someone I can talk to on any level about anything),one I can trust and love back. Go on trips, day or otherwise and have actual fun. (D/s doesn't have to be done just at home ya know?   lol)  And, "no" for all you one handed typers that get mad and say, "You are just looking for a husband" just because I won't "assist" them in their efforts   lol  Trust me, a piece of paper is the LAST thing I'm looking for.  I know they say to never say never but.......NEVER!!!!     LOL   I believe submission is a gift to give not one to take    I mix D/s with everyday vanilla life.  That means I also want a balance in family, friends and the lifestyle.  And I mean our actual families (i.e. mothers, fathers ,brothers, sisters, nephew, nieces, cousins, aunts, uncles;  are all important to me and should be for you as well)  (and "no" this does not mean that we will be shouting in the streets to our family and friends about our personal life, it just means we need to mingle with others just as much as we would if we were just vanilla.  Nothing makes people start nosing around like someone or a couple that only keeps to themselves.  LOL     I usually read history and profile before I respond to someone.  And guys for you that say you don't have kids but want them some day, just move on to the next profile, because that obviously won't be happening here   LOL    Nothing makes me happier than to know that I have a loving, trusting, supportive family/foundation under me (yes, this time I am referring to my "in house" family)  My man/men are happy when I am pleased with them and nothing makes them sadder than knowing that they have displeased me. Me and my guy or guys and that we are all happy and taken care of and that we are living the life that is perfect for what we were all looking for.  Not someone who just says he wants it.  Those kind either try to manipulate you into what they want eventually, or they are here but miserable, making everyone else the same.  Or the worst ones that go with a family just to be with "anyone" and the whole time they are online trying to better deal you  lol    No I wont meet or even DM you after we have a 5 minute conversation in mail if you want to meet me (usually just "hi" back and forth), Take your time. Talk to me.. I think there is a very special person behind this computer screen. If you are a real lifestyle submissive then you should want to take your time and learn as much as you can about the life that you claim you want to walk into, forever. If this isn't your style and you need to move faster, that's awesome, it's just not my way, so we can agree to disagree and you can move on to the next profile. No I don't plan on talking here forever before DM's but I will move on to whatever the next step is, when "I" am ready.  Nothing else will fill the void but what I seek. So don't ask, try to manipulate me, or think you are so special that I will change what I want.  You get to choose who and what you want, I deserve the same respect.                      

I've had some interesting conversations of late.   The one who spoke of how much her curiosity drove people away and then spoke about how her mental disorders stopped her being curious and that drove people away.    The one who who admitted all manner of deviant desires but then admitted me knowing those things made her uncomfortable in my company, so she ghosted me.   The one who believed slaves should have no rights, but that she could never be a slave because of that, but that being just a submissive was beneath her.   The one who masturbated openly to thoughts of degradation and humiliation, but was afraid her future owner would expose her to anything degrading or humiliating.   The one who wanted to serve anyone just to practise her skills, but admitted she couldn't serve at all because she just couldn't take D/s seriously.   The theme? Internal conflict. Its a very odd thing to see so many here pulled in such clearly opposing directions. Now, people of all persuasions have regularly dreamed of writing cheques it turned out they couldn't cash; that's par for the course and expected - our reach often exceeds our grasp, after all. But this almost 50/50 spolit been desire and reality, between who we think we are and who we turn out to be, and who we present as and who we then admit to being, is something new. I was away a while, but I did not expect to come back to this. I think it's just fear, something of which there seems to be so much of, more than I ever remember. People are afraid of speaking openly, afraid of seeming dumb, afraid of saying or asking the wrong thing, afraid of learning about themselves, and on and on and on. What I think people are afraid of is being seen for who they really are because so many don't seem to know that basic fact about themselves, and they don't want to put the time, effort and work into finding out, or be vulnerable and humble enough to listen and learn if they do.   It's a dispiriting experience.      

MstrB writing from midtown been looking for one decent slave for some time now it will be well trained for a variety of domestic services and hopefully for the slaves sake it is able to learn from its corrections …even better if it already knows exactly what it’s good for!  ...all its further educating will be done with a strap kept very close by.... it will be made to understand it has no rights no privileges no freedom to come or to go without asking for and receiving  express permission  so much in life is correctly forbidden to a slave  and it must be reminded of this consistently if not constantly slave has no secrets no privacy or much time alone and certainly no participation or place in any considerations or discussions about things going to be done with the slave in fact it has no say in much of anything slaves Owner will have full authority over the slave and its affairs and will use that authority very strictly I am understanding of slaves condition I am sympathertic to its plight and always give a slave what it needs but allow very little of what it wants this is both an Owners prerogative over the slave as well as an extension of a kind of parental authority therefore no disrespect or disobedience will be permitted ...ever! MrB   ------------------------------------------------------------------------       I use…and enjoy very much using… real discipline- isolation- humiliation-lots of busy work in the home...all to train a female to a level of acceptable domesticity…sort of housebreaking the slave…teaching both the need for her focused Obedience and the necessity to perform with humility and accuracy whatever is demanded from her chores chores chores…so much to be done….so many things to attend to... upon collaring slaves pussy will be immediately closed for business as her chastity must be clearly established for the oversexed sluts own good...she will have no orgasms until permitted ..her hands fingers etc will be kept from her vaginal area except for purposes of good hygiene and then only under direct supervision...
 rule of thumb...a slave will be fully given what she needs and very very little of what she wants. so I am here seeking full Ownership of such a woman and she would do well to have a real slave personality....certain qualities will be emphasized in her training as more wanted than others...humility for instance...a highly prized quality that can't be stressed enough and that is wholly attractive to see when presented with sincerity …she will be shown how to provide service as the Obedient intelligent servant she was born to be… she will complement my life and basically make things easier for me in whatever way she is called on…as a relationship develops between Owner and slave she will come to appreciate more and more the kinds of support and guidance given to her... she will learn to approach her Owner with nothing less than demonstrable Respect under all circumstances… her training in how to properly submit herself will never really end so her attention will be directed to intellectual things I will insist she consider and think about...adult slave lessons on a cerebral level… she will be stripped, anally plugged and put into a submissive position on her knees or perhaps ordered to freeze on her tiptoes... she will then be closely questioned about these things…her answers are required and truly valued… she must be responsive and forthcoming to all questions about her feelings her moods and her progress in becoming more servile and useful..the point being to make her a better servant and a more responsive slave....these interrogations and her confessions of her feelings will be a ritual she will learn to anticipate and expect …the reasons for them are simple..I want her to be fully aware of her condition in this lifestyle and in my life most of all…she belongs to me as my property and she is subject to my discipline my control my desires and decisions for her… I want her to learn to accept and in the end embrace the benefits she enjoys thanks to me because I do what I think is best for her… I will do whatever needs to be done to turn this woman into the best slave she can possibly be …I am a sexual sadist all my life and knew this when I was about eight or nine though I had no idea of the implications…
I use many forms of personality and behavioral techniques.. real discipline, humiliation, isolation, very tight bondage, sensory dep... whatever I find has the greatest effect on her emotions.. I will happily enforce her Obedience until she learns to respectfully offer it...one way or another I will get what I want from her…she will be trained to domestic service of various kinds...she will be watched closely and fairly judged on how well she performs these tasks and she will be unfailingly punished when she fails to do them as instructed...her good service is a pure reflection of her Respect for her Owner and her place in his life... her Obedience is the essence of her slave self....to be useful in all ways and show that she knows her place at all times is one of her many goals as the slave she is.... and her training will center heavily on perfecting her attitude as she is carrying out the tasks given her ...no matter what the work or activity is, it must be performed with a pleasing attitude...with humility... and if not?...
so many reasons a woman offers to give her a memorable correction…as though a reason were even needed.  I am open for discussion of all issues which will come up and need to be addressed to keep things balanced and harmonious between Owner and slave…she will be safe and protected from as much of the outside world as she wants to not have to deal with... I welcome the amazing emotional connections that come from a successful M/s relationship and take full responsibility for what I do !... not everything can be solved with a strap but for a true slave? nothing else will do……McB  

6/5/2024 6:33:05 PM All set with game players and time wasters and dream killers.     I don't lie, cheat or steal.   I am looking for the right slave.  Correction, I am looking for a right connection and a decent human being who knows how to treat a woman, and wants to explore together.  A right male is MORE THAN ENOUGH to be by My side and in reasonable good time.  I am looking for a live in relationship, not email, phone or text. I'm dominant and that isn't going to change.  I feel no threat from a man who knows his mind and has the ability to speak up for himself and be a team player.  Welcome.  We can co-rule our own little world together.   My mother lives with Me and has Alzheimer's.  You serve Me, you serve She.  You are with Me, you are with her.   Be real and ready to communicate effectively and get to know one another in the flesh.     Be terrific in your own right.  I require a man who is strong enough to champion Me and I offer nothing less in return.    DON'T WASTE  MY  TIME.

I should try fishing as a sport because this site is exactly the same. You are putting out a hook waiting for a good fish to swim by. Unhooked a rotten fish last week (married again) luckily never went on a date with that fish. Stuck to my principles and my gut feeling, creepy man contacted me on his second profile.  Very creepy.  Not just cheating on his wife but on the Mistress and wanted a 3rd pond to play in. Having a me day, new underwear, new shoes and dress, hair done, nails and eyebrows, full body wax (fresh and clean), got my head focused on my priorities (my career). But I must admit while waiting patiently some very pretty fish have been swimming by. Reminds me being patient for someone good is always for the best.

About me: Well I can tell you that in the vanilla everyday world I present like a cisgendered male. I am definitely not a passive person, nor am I overly aggressive either. I'm more of a thinker and definitely analyze situations first before just reacting. With that being said I consider myself a high functioning individual. I own my own home, vehicles, and have raised a child to a functioning adult as well. I work in the white collar business world in a career that demands excellent communication, planning, organization, and implementation. Those communication skills also transfer into my private life. I am fortunate that I had Parents that are very open-minded and were able to provide a wide variety of experiences. That open-mindedness has transferred into my life as well. I have traveled overseas for work and pleasure and probably have been to most of the lower 48 states. As a result I have a very wide area of interests including the Arts, classical music, academics, and spirituality. I'm not obsessed with Fitness but I consider myself to lead a healthy lifestyle and I'm very active. __________________ During my sexual development I noticed that I never ever made the first move and always let the woman lead. I thought that was just the natural way that things were. After the first move is made, all bets are off I am not a passive or Lazy Lover. I just became to recognize that my need is for a woman to take charge. During my development from puberty to adolescence I was attracted to women who were intelligent, older, and the Femme Fatale type. The cheerleader or schoolgirl type never did it for me. Like many of us I started to explore my sexuality and relationships more deeply after my divorce more than 15 years ago.  I was drawn to my local alternative community which provided a safe space for exploration. However I am not active as the idea of public play or competitive BDSM games are not something that suits my values. Female lead relationships, or taken in hand relationships spoke to my inner soul in a way that is difficult to explain. To use an analogy, i view the relationship like a knight and her Queen. The Knight is still a strong capable being who happily and lovingly relinquishes control and Authority to the Queen.  I do also like the Goddess analogy as I think there is a spiritual component to this for me. I have had vanilla relationships where the woman was in control and led the way in terms of vacations, day to day life, and even being sexually in charge.  However, I have not had a formal female lead relationship like you would read in a book.  I am searching for a woman to develop and work on this with me in terms of rules, limits, and how we would live our lives together. For the past 10 years I've been at a point in my life where I know this is what I want and need. However, we as human beings cannot give up our personal values for relationship. Those values have to do with other areas of compatibility with a potential lifelong partner. More to come     

Long weekends are the worst.  So much time…alone.  I fear I don't do so well left to my own devices once the chores are done.  Last Memorial day weekend I had resolved to take a bit of a break from all of...this.  No stories.  No shaving my body.  No practicing submissive postures.  Focus on the real, stop endlessly daydreaming of submission.   It's been the entire summer now.  I don't feel any better.  I've not suddenly found a partner in life.  I've not been any more or less productive than before.  In fact, today, I'm about out of my mind.  My natural body hair has returned and somehow it makes me feel….dirty.  I miss the way clothing felt against my skin.  I miss the ritual of shaving everything.  Of imagining I was doing it for my Owner.  Of taking some action in the real world that confirmed my nature and my deepest desires.   Will I always be this…stuck?  This alone?  Is there any hope that, one day, I might find someone who will want me for everything I am?  Who can accept this terrible and inescapable desire to kneel?  To be used?

Master's WritingsFoundations: Deep Honesty and the Butterfly EffectAs I see it, there are three core elements, communication, trust and honesty, that together form the foundation for feeling safe as we explore the lifestyle. Each element is interdependent with the others, and intertwined in such a way that to fail any one breaks them all, leaving us unsure and at risk, while when they all work right, we feel able to explore the greatest depths imaginable.With regard to honesty, we, in the lifestyle, are far better equipped to get it right than anywhere within the vanilla world. Power dynamics, the emotional nakedness of play and the acceptance of near infinite diversity among our interests and population make total honesty far more achievable within the lifestyle than others then you might think.Yet honesty can suffers from the crushing weight of a single butterflies wing. As children, we learn to lie because we get away and it always starts with the smallest of lies or the things we hide from those we love. As we grow, we believe that lying is acceptable with those we love and in society in general. This acceptance allows us to learn to lie even to ourselves, and as we mature, we discover that we have grown comfortable being false to others and even to ourself. We no longer know what is authentic and the distance between those close to us grows and decays. And we wonder why. In fact, as a society, we have entered an age where falsehood and lying is now the norm and an accepted practice.In a dynamic where “Total Honesty” is practiced, lies are never allowed, not in part nor in full, not even lies of omission or hidden truths of any kind. Sharing is always total, free and open. The freedom of an open mind and heart is the only acceptable mindset. While nearly all in the lifestyle preach this in one form or another, we must be aware of the impact of that single small butterfly wing. For just like the child growing up, a single allowance of a hidden feeling, an uncomfortable truth left unspoken, or a fear not communicated, has the potential to become habit forming and thereafter impact and erode the beauty and depth of a dynamic. A hidden feeling can undermine the understanding one partner has for the other. An uncomfortable truth can lead to the birth of resentment and anger when not spoken where it is allowed to fester. A fear left unchecked causes stress, clouds the mind, undercut trust, causes stagnation and allows anxieties to run unchecked or worse.Within a dynamic, the expectation and practice must be to understand the impact, the cause and effect, of that single delicate wing of the smallest of lies and/or omissions, remaining fully open to each other, totally authentic of self, and emotionally naked before your partner. For it is only within a dynamic filled with such honesty that we make possible the deep, beautiful and magical experiences we all seek.

By believing that submission must be pursued, to any degree, is to reframe dominance and submission as a typical relationship and its not. Dominance doesnt pursue. Submission doesnt need to be pursued. Submission comes to dominance in this dynamic. It has to. Submission is given, won over even, but the same goes for dominance. As much as she must be convinced by his dominance, he must believe her submission meets his needs or can be molded to do so. What remains is the initial approach, and it is simply ego on the part of the submissive to believe what she offers is more important, more valuable and harder to come by, than what he offers. Consider how many suitors a submissive no doubt has flood her inbox here, how many obvious frauds, bullshit artists, misogynists, egotists etc that she has cast a dismissive eye over. What happens if/when you find one that calls to you? Will you wait in the hope or expectation he will approach, or will you decide to present to him? Of course, this probably explains why the place by my side is empty and I have to fetch my own pipe and slippers. Such is life.

A typical day requires service at almost all times. I am served tea in bed as we begin our day, and meals are all prepped and planned. You wake first, fetch me my tea, a few digestive biscuits, and the paper, and then join me in bed to read me an article of my choosing while I sip. Some days when it is warmer, we take this outside, but most days it is in the comfort of bed while we are nude.   After this, we both have breakfast together. Usually you will cook, but some days I will announce that i feel like it and cook. These are healthy meals that focus on protein and good fats.   Then, we both work from home. I enjoy my work at a non-profit, taking breaks to to be with each other (lunch, walks, or you kneeling in prostration/worship as needed, etc). In the evening, we order in, cook, or go out. These all have rituals associated with them that are meticulously refined for both our benefit - what we eat, how we look, and what happens are important metrics of keeping you thoughtless and spotless. You represent me, and I will NOT be embarrassed.   We play board games,read, or watch a program as the evening draws to a close. Then we head to bed, where I do my beauty routine and have you serve me as part of it. This means providing hot water, ice, and towels as needed.   We head to bed, with me getting in bed first and you being caged, kneeling, or joining me if I decide to use you for my pleasure. I do like to be warm and to cuddle, so some nights I require just that and you serve me admirably.

Please do not get me wrong, I am an extremely sexual person and am a true sadist. What I ultimately seek is a woman who; at any age, race, or physique will serve me and my sick desires. However, I am amazed at how stupid most “dominant” men act on this site. It seems any woman with a profile on here is subject to the most immature and deplorable excuse for a man contacting you and only really offering one thing…their dick. Not guidance, not a mentor, but just their dick. I am truly sorry ladies.

It may have taken nearly two years but the world is back and so am I.   Very excited to meet you!   Let's chat.     

Guys, women are not looking for disembodied body parts. Your abdomen alone in a mirror shot is NOT sexy. No matter how ripped, it's just a random body part. Posting random body parts just shows that you have not bothered to read or listen to anything women have ever said about what they want. We look for a PERSON. Not a body. Certainly not an isolated body part. Any body parts. Especially dicks. Body parts on their own without a personality attached are almost exclusively a GUY THING. No, posting a body part is not "full disclosure." We did not ASK for a body part. If that's your avatar, most likely any woman will just click past it. You're killing yourself just by choosing a bad pic instead of showing some personality. We aren't passing you by because you have a belly, we're passing you by because you seem to think that's the most important aspect of you. That would make us as shallow as you are. Once again, act like a whole person. Not a generic title for a nickname, a generic body part for a picture, and a generic request for what you've seen in porn as a relationship. Grow up.

**Regarding potential bulls**, we do have some requirements and preferences: - Please be between 28 and 60 (other ages are considered if you bring the right "package" and energy) -DDF  - Somewhat local (within 2-3 hours of the Va Tech/Radford U area) - Okay with me being present during play time - Social drinkers/smokers okay - Size is a factor, the bigger the better    If you choose to reach out as a bull, communicate effectively and on an equal plane. You are not our Dom. If you come across with that kind of attitude before we decide to engage in that kind of play, you will be blocked. Send more than one or two lines in your message, but we don’t expect a novel. Unsolicited dick pics are an immediate hard NO and will result in a block—no exceptions. We will request them when we want them.   **Limits**   Her hard limits include anal, degradation/humiliation directed at her, face-slapping, foot play, and anything beyond light-to-moderate spanking.     We’re friendly, communicative people who value real connection. If what you’ve read here feels like a good fit, we’d love to hear from you.

One of my favourite pictures is a before and after of a girl I used to love and who, if not for the universe, would still be my girl now. I'll call her Leigh.I have a huge clothing fetish, and not just for lingerie. A well-dressed, well presented girl, will stiffen my resolve like few other things, and on this day she had spent the time showing me how well she could feed that side of me. Typical porn secretary in a lot of ways; white silk blouse, mid-thigh black skirt, hair back in a ponytail, but the devil was in the details. I could see she wore a cincher underneath and, through the shapes under the tight fabric of the skirt, that suspenders and stockings were in my future. Around her neck was the collar I'd got her, a simple and supple strip of black leather with a single ring in the middle. Her nails and lips were the same seductive, decadent arterial blood red, and her eyes were framed by mascara and eye-liner I knew wouldn't be waterproof. The black-framed, business woman style glasses she wore to work every day were somehow the cherry on top. All of this perched on 3 inch heels that clicked on the hardwood floor, while a nervous, playful and hopeful smile playing on her lips. That was the 'before' image. Much of that day is etched in my memory, but the highlights are those devilish details. She was pristine and smooth to my mouth when I stood her back to wall and knelt to devour her, first through her underwear and then, once they were around her ankles, skin to skin. She was achingly, exquisitely wet for me and I very much drank her in before leading her to the bedroom, sitting her on the edge, wrapping those nylon-clad legs around my head, and just devouring her. The taste of her, the scent, the sounds of her response, the way her thighs gripped and relaxed and gripped and relaxed as I teased her to the edge of release, but never over. Not yet. I laid her back, straddled her and opened her blouse to the bra underneath, pushing that up and over her breasts and turned my attention to those pale, rose-tipped wonders. Shortly after that, we would induce lactation, making her delicious and nutritious. Leigh was so very, wonderfully versatile like that. Once my base appetites were sated, I remember telling her was I would be hurting her that day, that I couldn't promise she would enjoy all of it, but that I would. I told her that, in the end, she would be fed well beyond her appetites and she frowned at that. I remember thinking that was kind of oblique even for my pretentious Domly waffling, but she smiled, licked her lips and said 'I'm yours, daddy, all yours', and she was. The next couple of hours were spent edging her. I don't fuck when I dominate; its always felt like a confusion of purpose, so even as she was divested of her clothing down to cincher, hells and stockings, I remained fully dressed. That, to me, felt like control and control always, but always, begins with the self. The 4-walls theory can sometimes take a backseat, after all. I would use toys, big and thick and heavy or slim and nimble and buzzy. I would make her bury her head in the pillow as I pushed my hand deep into her, something she found a deep, resonant joy in, even as mouth and tongue enjoyed her clit. Clamps on cords, pulled tight as she reached for the summit so she could roll down the other side. Zipper lines, running up her sides or around her breasts. Each time she approached orgasm, I would stop, stand her up, and hurt her. Zipper lines tugged slowly or quickly off, clamps pulled shriekingly taut before giving way, pussy spanked, clit flicked, slapped wherever seemed appropriate, hair pulled vicisouly taut. Whatever came to mind, as I needed to administer it. And often, I would use a cane or stick on her body. Ass, breasts (top and underside), thighs, soles of her feet, palms of her hand... anywhere, really. I knew that certain types of pain were like gasoline on a flame, so I avoided them and gave her what I knew she didn't like. Thuddy canes, for instance, she responded to with deep arousal, but thin and whippy she couldn't abide. Nonetheless, she took them until she was welted to my satisfaction. When I called a halt to this cycle, she had the look of a fish you haven't hit hard enough with the bonker, a kind of stunned, defeated confusion. She was slow to respond, sluggish to move and looked utterly drained. That's when I began giving her release. That went on for quite a while, too. The thing about the female orgasm is, even that can be made into an enemy.  By the time I turned my attention to her pleasure, something that I had deliberately built up and denied throughout the day, it was buried under pain and torment. But not buried deeply. Laying her down, mouth and hands gentle, toys gentle, vibrations insistent but considered, it was there to be rediscovered, brought out and given time in the sun. Her first orgasm elicited something like a sigh of relief, and involved little more than her arching off the bed, shuddering and gasping and then sinking back. But onwards I went anyway, same gentleness, same consideration, same relentless stimulation. She came repeatedly, initially with a kind of rich, savoured appreciation of the ecstacy, but, after a while, with increasingly obvious sensitivity. At that point, I restrained her with the cuffs mounted, in the best vanilla with a twist tradition, to the corners of the bed. Spread-eagled, I put a spreader bar between her ankles, not to keep her legs open but so I could kneel on the bar (under a pillow) and stop her twisting almost entirely. And then I went to work. At some point, I gagged her with a bit gag, so she could clench hard as her pleasure stopped being pleasure and become torment. Once I got her over that sensitivity, forced her beyond the limits of her own tolerance for sensation, she kind of broke, accepted her fate. At some point she began to cry, shaking her head furiously as the stimulation continued and her body ignored completely what her mind was saying, and went where it was led. When I called a halt and took the 'after' picture, she looked ruined, purely and simply. She followed where I led with a kind of plodding acceptance, no comment or hesitation, no thought really. In the shower, she knelt and began to cry again as I urinated over her, shoving my cock into her mouth and putting the last of that into her belly, indifferent to her choking and gagging. She threw up a little, but nothing that seemed untoward, all things considered.  It was in that state, puke on her striped tits, hair sopping and dripping with piss, abused, degraded, stunned and utterly beyond sense, that I stood her up, turned her to the wall, lifted her leg, and claimed her, once again, as mine. She barely responded and certainly didn't orgasm, but she was hot and wet and that was all I needed that day. I don't know how long I indulged my lizard brain, but at the end I told her to kneel, which she did, and I came on her face and then in her mouth. Again, she barely responded, barely reacted and somehow, that was glorious. And after? After, I undressed us both fully, and showered with her. I soaped and rinsed her with a kind of reverence, a deep gratitude at the gift that was Leigh and how she matched, met and fulfilled me in so many ways. I washed her hair, her feet, between her thighs, softly, tenderly and with pure love. Then I dried her with equal devotion and kindness and took her to bed, where we lay naked and spooning until lshe fell asleep in my arms and, shortly after, I joined her. The next day, when we went out for breakfast at a cafe just up the road from her place, she winced when she sat down and, when I smiled she smiled back and blushed, but not too much. I miss her every day, and I miss who I was with her ever

So, I am getting a lot of the same questions repeatedly… let me address some of them here. Let me start with a statement that will be an umbrella over many of these questions.  As stated in my profile, we gave up porn.  His struggle was giving up visual porn, mine was written porn.  I can see even now, in these questions, verses our life, how important it was that I gave up the written porn.  Our life, our play, or intimacy, was not defined by the world of BDSM labels.  It was organic.  There were no contracts, no plans, no agreements.  There was rarely any direction given, except in the moment, as needed for the moment.  Now I will try to explain further in answering some questions Q. Was my husband my “Master” “Dominate” “Sir”etc. A. My husband was my husband.  Most of the time I called him hun, sweetheart, darling.  If I know I had been sassy and pushed him too far and was getting myself into trouble, I might slip into a Sir to try to bail myself out, to try to show respect.  If he was giving me a direction during a punishment I might respond with a Yes Sir.  I was not necessarily instructed to do this, it happened organically.  I was raised in a home where Ma’am and Sir is a way you show respect.  Even teaching Sunday school I will refer to a kid as Sir when I want to get their attention, it is a common phrase in my vocabulary, and thus a natural one for me to use when it seemed appropriate with my husband.  Did I wander around the house asking “Sir” what he wanted for breakfast in front of our son… No. absolutely not.  Unless I was being totally sarcastic and playing around.  In which case, I was probably talking to our kid lol.  Q. Was my marriage a “1950’s”, “1960’s”, “Taken in Hand”, “Domestic Discipline” again with the BDSM community labels… A. Nope.  I would not call my marriage any of these.   Taken in Hand and Domestic Discipline in BDSM terms tend to imply something far more formal than what we had, and sometimes even imply religious cause, which as I have stated was absolutely not the case.  As far as Period “play”, this would probably imply I was also some awesome house keeper, cook, etc.  Some sort of naked kinky June Cleaver comes to mind, in nothing but my apron, dusting the house and making meals while caring for the kids.  Again, nope.  Our son has behavioral heath special needs and it took all I had to not lose my mind trying to deal with his needs, we went through a remodel, moved 3 times, my husband was often in and out of hospitals, even before he got really sick, as such, my house keeping was minimal quite often, meals were what we could manage in an active remodel. My husband often helped with domestic chores such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, when I eventually went back to work after our son was an adult and out of the home. Q. So, what are some examples of how our relationship remained within the faith, but we still enjoyed each other in this way? A. An example my husband sometimes gave when trying to explain it to someone was the example of a washing machine.  We need a new washing machine.  I do most of the laundry.  He doesn’t care if the machine is front loading or top loading, that is a preference I would care about.  His concern is cost.  He gives me a budget to work within.  I then do research on washers.  I find a few models I like and come back and discuss the pro’s and con’s with him.  Of course, they should have probably all been within the budget he allowed, but knowing me, I probably slipped one in that was bit over… After all, he can always just say no.  I will probably sell him on it though lol.  He adored me and spoiled me like that.  He always tried to give me anything I wanted if he could.  So, I then make the arrangements to buy the washer and have it delivered and installed.  So, as you see, it was a team effort.  However, the budget we were working with was up to him.  Honestly, could I have responsibly managed to buy a washer within budget without him, sure.  I hate to spend money like that though and probably would have allowed myself half the budget and gotten junk to be honest.  He helped to balance me like that. Q. So, this next question has come in a number of different forms, but at the end of the day, everyone is curious about the number one thing around this site.  Was I given correction for things, what form did that come in, and how did I feel about it? A. As I don’t read porn, I am certainly not about to sit here and write it for you.  The details of this is a conversation for after we get to know each other much better.  In short, yes, there absolutely was correction.  He was a very heavy handed man to be honest.  How did I feel about it?  Straight up, I am not a fan of pain in the moment.   I am not a “pain slut” you will never hear me scream out “thank you sir may I have another” lol.  I would do just about anything to avoid pain.  That being said, no physical restraints were ever needed.  I did as was told, took what I had coming when I had it coming.  No, I found zero pleasure in the moment.