Last week, someone shared MeatLoaf's video for "I would do anything for love" in one of the FB goth groups. I hadn't seen it in years. Like... a decade or more.  It had the same immediate effect it had the first time. ( I recognize I have some monster fetish issues. Don't judge. LOTS of people felt the same way about it. Nyyaahhh.)  The imagery was specifically tailored to pull in notes from Beauty and the Beast, as well as Bram Stoker's Dracula, among other things. Stories of a soulful, tortured man, cursed to be ugly and alone, desperately longing for the beautiful woman he feels would never want him in return. Body language of self-loathing, body and facial expressions of agony and adoration, pain and passion. Always hiding just out of her sight, sometimes almost within reach before rushing away to escape his suffering...smashing mirrors and covering his face...  Meanwhile, she wanders around in the luxury of his castle, surrounded by silks and candlelight, soaking herself in a huge bathtub, stretching out on a curtained bed of satin sheets...  Classical romance. Heady stuff. And the same silly part inside me that got sucked in by similar images in the old fairytale stories when I was VERY young responded. Re-watching it a few times. Re-writing it and building a lovely fantasy where it's me he sees in the garden, me wandering through the castle halls... me looking around at the obvious roaring fire that someone lit, and the wine that someone had opened, the bath someone had run, ... and then who I am gets in the way.  I can't quite get my head around walking into a house where someone obviously lived, and had just been in that room, and just making myself at home. Because I READ the fairy tales. The OLD versions. WHO lit the fire? Who's bed is this? Am I Goldilocks here, using up someone else's hot water, eating their dinner, etc? Because I know what happened to her after they find her, whereas the modern versions end on a much more PG note. Or am I in a beautiful pitcher plant, seduced by the opulence in preparation for digesting? Because that's what it would be in a fairy tale if you wander in uninvited and start helping yourself to whatever without express consent.  Even his beautiful, plaintive lyrics, sung with such sincerity and emotion start to give me pause one I start looking at them closer. (You know about me n lyrics...)  "I would do anything for love..." OK, but are you saying you would do anything to HAVE love in your life? Orthat you would do anything for the person you love? Or anything in the name of love that your loved one asked? Or just ... what? I need more clarification, please. I don't want to be going along thinking one thing, and then find out I misunderstood.  And then we get into "anything." I mean, he does state "I will never lie to you" which is very much appreciated, and ideally, the whole song does seem to aim in the direction of "I want to make you happy" but... at the same time, I've lived a long time in the real world, and "anything" can be pretty terrifying if you have experience and imagination.   Would he kill a rival? Would he keep her prisoner in this beautiful settling until she gave in? Would he MAKE her love him with magic? He obviously has a lot of power at his disposal to do those kinds of things. I have a lot of experience, and a huge imagination.  And would "anything" extend to controlling that mirror-destroying temper if she disagreed with him or rejected him? Because he spends some of the video kinda snarling in his frustration, clenching his fists, etc.  Would it include exposing his deepest fears and risking himself emotionally to connect with her? Because spends most of the video avoiding that.  He sings that "no one can save me now but you." Will he love her even if turns out she can't? Does "anything" cover acceptance of failings and limitations?  As you can guess, my fantasy breaks down into logic puzzles and communication complications and 'what would I do if I didn't have this outside perspective to know how all this opulence was being provided?'  Which turns it into an entirely different kind of fantasy, I guess, because I've heard "I'd do anything" more times than I could count, and it always falls apart the first time "anything" includes something they hadn't already planned to do.  I guess I'm not really meant for fairy tales anymore. On the upside, it makes me more grateful for my sweetie, because while he isn't a monster/wizard/whatever with unlimited power, and he can't provide "anything" I may want, he tries not to make promises he can't keep, and he tries to provide what he can that is within his power. He also appreciates what I do in return, so... Maybe that is the modern fairy tale - good communication, honest effort, and sincere caring.  I do wish it came with the magical 'self cleaning house' thing, but I will have to live without.

Psst... It's secret time. Pinky swear you won't go and tell? I'm trusting you since we're journal friends. I follow two journals: 1. A delightful crotchety and humorous dominant man who shares brief opinions from time to time. He's clever and funny and doesn't really care what you think. I dig it.   2. An eloquent dominant female who shares song lyrics, poetry, and conversations over tea. She elevates this place. I would love to go into a used book shop with her.  Okay, here's the secret part where it gets a little weird. I do not follow but I look for two other journals. The first is a dominant male who I am pretty sure is certifiably mad. I won't officially follow him to ensure I stay off of his radar as a precaution- sacrificial lamb is not my kink. But you better believe I scroll the journals to catch any new entries.* The other is a dominant male who often posts. I think he is some sort of AI. Hear me out. All of the sentiments match to the point of being repetitive. With poor grammar. It's like riding a hamster wheel. Someone requested it, AI produced it, it was slapped in a journal, and there's a psychologist teaming with a scientist in the background monitoring to see who falls for it. I can't picture someone producing the same phrases over and over. Even the mad hatter doesn't do that. Has to be a bot.  No, I won't tell you who they are, don't ask. If you know, you know. And if you're the psychologist and scientist letting me know that I figured it out, do put a rush on that.  *My crotchety friend is also fascinated with the mad hatter's entries. I knew he was good people. 

One of my favourite pictures is a before and after of a girl I used to love and who, if not for the universe, would still be my girl now. I'll call her Leigh.I have a huge clothing fetish, and not just for lingerie. A well-dressed, well presented girl, will stiffen my resolve like few other things, and on this day she had spent the time showing me how well she could feed that side of me. Typical porn secretary in a lot of ways; white silk blouse, mid-thigh black skirt, hair back in a ponytail, but the devil was in the details. I could see she wore a cincher underneath and, through the shapes under the tight fabric of the skirt, that suspenders and stockings were in my future. Around her neck was the collar I'd got her, a simple and supple strip of black leather with a single ring in the middle. Her nails and lips were the same seductive, decadent arterial blood red, and her eyes were framed by mascara and eye-liner I knew wouldn't be waterproof. The black-framed, business woman style glasses she wore to work every day were somehow the cherry on top. All of this perched on 3 inch heels that clicked on the hardwood floor, while a nervous, playful and hopeful smile playing on her lips. That was the 'before' image. Much of that day is etched in my memory, but the highlights are those devilish details. She was pristine and smooth to my mouth when I stood her back to wall and knelt to devour her, first through her underwear and then, once they were around her ankles, skin to skin. She was achingly, exquisitely wet for me and I very much drank her in before leading her to the bedroom, sitting her on the edge, wrapping those nylon-clad legs around my head, and just devouring her. The taste of her, the scent, the sounds of her response, the way her thighs gripped and relaxed and gripped and relaxed as I teased her to the edge of release, but never over. Not yet. I laid her back, straddled her and opened her blouse to the bra underneath, pushing that up and over her breasts and turned my attention to those pale, rose-tipped wonders. Shortly after that, we would induce lactation, making her delicious and nutritious. Leigh was so very, wonderfully versatile like that. Once my base appetites were sated, I remember telling her was I would be hurting her that day, that I couldn't promise she would enjoy all of it, but that I would. I told her that, in the end, she would be fed well beyond her appetites and she frowned at that. I remember thinking that was kind of oblique even for my pretentious Domly waffling, but she smiled, licked her lips and said 'I'm yours, daddy, all yours', and she was. The next couple of hours were spent edging her. I don't fuck when I dominate; its always felt like a confusion of purpose, so even as she was divested of her clothing down to cincher, hells and stockings, I remained fully dressed. That, to me, felt like control and control always, but always, begins with the self. The 4-walls theory can sometimes take a backseat, after all. I would use toys, big and thick and heavy or slim and nimble and buzzy. I would make her bury her head in the pillow as I pushed my hand deep into her, something she found a deep, resonant joy in, even as mouth and tongue enjoyed her clit. Clamps on cords, pulled tight as she reached for the summit so she could roll down the other side. Zipper lines, running up her sides or around her breasts. Each time she approached orgasm, I would stop, stand her up, and hurt her. Zipper lines tugged slowly or quickly off, clamps pulled shriekingly taut before giving way, pussy spanked, clit flicked, slapped wherever seemed appropriate, hair pulled vicisouly taut. Whatever came to mind, as I needed to administer it. And often, I would use a cane or stick on her body. Ass, breasts (top and underside), thighs, soles of her feet, palms of her hand... anywhere, really. I knew that certain types of pain were like gasoline on a flame, so I avoided them and gave her what I knew she didn't like. Thuddy canes, for instance, she responded to with deep arousal, but thin and whippy she couldn't abide. Nonetheless, she took them until she was welted to my satisfaction. When I called a halt to this cycle, she had the look of a fish you haven't hit hard enough with the bonker, a kind of stunned, defeated confusion. She was slow to respond, sluggish to move and looked utterly drained. That's when I began giving her release. That went on for quite a while, too. The thing about the female orgasm is, even that can be made into an enemy.  By the time I turned my attention to her pleasure, something that I had deliberately built up and denied throughout the day, it was buried under pain and torment. But not buried deeply. Laying her down, mouth and hands gentle, toys gentle, vibrations insistent but considered, it was there to be rediscovered, brought out and given time in the sun. Her first orgasm elicited something like a sigh of relief, and involved little more than her arching off the bed, shuddering and gasping and then sinking back. But onwards I went anyway, same gentleness, same consideration, same relentless stimulation. She came repeatedly, initially with a kind of rich, savoured appreciation of the ecstacy, but, after a while, with increasingly obvious sensitivity. At that point, I restrained her with the cuffs mounted, in the best vanilla with a twist tradition, to the corners of the bed. Spread-eagled, I put a spreader bar between her ankles, not to keep her legs open but so I could kneel on the bar (under a pillow) and stop her twisting almost entirely. And then I went to work. At some point, I gagged her with a bit gag, so she could clench hard as her pleasure stopped being pleasure and become torment. Once I got her over that sensitivity, forced her beyond the limits of her own tolerance for sensation, she kind of broke, accepted her fate. At some point she began to cry, shaking her head furiously as the stimulation continued and her body ignored completely what her mind was saying, and went where it was led. When I called a halt and took the 'after' picture, she looked ruined, purely and simply. She followed where I led with a kind of plodding acceptance, no comment or hesitation, no thought really. In the shower, she knelt and began to cry again as I urinated over her, shoving my cock into her mouth and putting the last of that into her belly, indifferent to her choking and gagging. She threw up a little, but nothing that seemed untoward, all things considered.  It was in that state, puke on her striped tits, hair sopping and dripping with piss, abused, degraded, stunned and utterly beyond sense, that I stood her up, turned her to the wall, lifted her leg, and claimed her, once again, as mine. She barely responded and certainly didn't orgasm, but she was hot and wet and that was all I needed that day. I don't know how long I indulged my lizard brain, but at the end I told her to kneel, which she did, and I came on her face and then in her mouth. Again, she barely responded, barely reacted and somehow, that was glorious. And after? After, I undressed us both fully, and showered with her. I soaped and rinsed her with a kind of reverence, a deep gratitude at the gift that was Leigh and how she matched, met and fulfilled me in so many ways. I washed her hair, her feet, between her thighs, softly, tenderly and with pure love. Then I dried her with equal devotion and kindness and took her to bed, where we lay naked and spooning until lshe fell asleep in my arms and, shortly after, I joined her. The next day, when we went out for breakfast at a cafe just up the road from her place, she winced when she sat down and, when I smiled she smiled back and blushed, but not too much. I miss her every day, and I miss who I was with her ever

i am pretty sure he's done with me.  No idea how I'm going to get through this feeling of failure.  I don't think I possess the ability to move on.  He owns every part of me. My thoughts are wrapped around him, our interactions, our love.  I don't surrender temporarily. I don't quit just because things get hard. I never have.  But somehow I'm supposed to quit him? Quit us? And just carry on? The very thought is viscerally painful.  I miss him. He still won't talk to me. Not even to tell me one way or the other.  On FetLife he's still listed on my profile. I suggested he remove it if he was done with me, that it would give him a way of telling me without the need for direct contact, if that's what he wanted. He is still listed.  All I know is, it's going to take the death of hope to let him go. 

Yesterday, Thursday: 15/08/2024 Dear Diary,  MY day begins at 10 AM, just as I like it—on MY own terms. I wake up knowing that the world is MINE to shape, and I take MY time easing into the morning. MY routine is deliberate: a workout that awakens MY body, followed by a long, hot shower where I let the steam clear MY mind. As I prepare for the day, I’m already planning MY moves, each one purposeful. Dressing for the day is a ritual, even when I’M working from home. Today, I chose something comfortable yet powerful—an outfit that reminds ME of the strength I carry. Before I head to MY home office, I check MY phone, smiling as I see the messages from MY submissives. They know what pleases ME, and today, I’VE received a few thoughtful gifts—tokens of their appreciation and respect. It’s a satisfying reminder of the influence I hold, and I allow MYSELF a moment to savour it. MY home office is where the magic happens. As a web designer, I create, innovate, and build. The morning is spent in focused work—crafting designs, and connecting with clients. Even though I’M not in a traditional office, MY presence is undeniable. Every email, every project, every call reflaspects MY vision and MY control. I love knowing that MY work drives success and shapes the online world. I’M in charge, and it feels exhilarating. In the afternoon, I switch gears to focus on growth and giving back. I mentor young black female entrepreneurs, helping them navigate challenges and harness their strengths. Empowering others is part of MY power, and I take pride in guiding them. Their progress fuels ME, just as much as MY own success. As evening falls, I pour MYSELF a glass of Hennessy and dive into the course I’M developing. This project has been months in the making, and tonight, the ideas are flowing effortlessly. The warmth of the drink, the satisfaction of creating something meaningful—it’s a perfect combination. This course will be a game-changer, and I’M excited to see it come to life. The night deepens, but I’M energised. I’M building something incredible, and I know it. When I finally wrap up, I feel a deep sense of accomplishment. I’M not just a woman with a career—I’M a force, shaping MY world with precision and pride. As I lay in bed, I reflect on the day. I’M proud of who I AM—strong, confident, and in control. The gifts from MY submissives, the success of MY work, the course I’M creating—it all reminds ME that I navigate this world with grace, power, and a touch of indulgence. Tomorrow is another day to conquer, and I’M ready. This is MY world, and I own it.   BLACK GODDESS xx

I want to break you I want to break you, but I highly doubt I mean that in the way you've heard it used so many times before. Where it is most commonly used is by those who wants the perks of being a dominant/master/daddy whatever without any of the challenges or effort that requires. I've heard the same retellings of the same kinds of stories by submissive women over the years. The dominants who tell women they aren't true submissives because they dared ask a question? Those who's ego are so incredibly fragile they throw a fit at even the suggestion of someone "challenging" them. Those who demand superficial respect instead of cultivating it. Those who are so insecure in their control that they need to exercise it endlessly. Those who want to destroy out of insecurity and hate. Yes I want to break you. I want to break you free from the noise that holds you back. I want to break the mental walls that separate you from the pure submissive being you crave to be. I want to break you of the need to be something that doesn't bring you fulfillment. I want to break you of the aimless lack of purpose. I want to break you free from the confinement that freedom actually is. I want to break you of everything holding you back from being the content, fulfilled, devoted, soft, purpose filled, sub/slave that you know you are and just can't reach.

ABOUT ME:      I am a “Service Oriented” slave. I was born with a slave’s heart and nothing gives me greater pleasure than to Serve. As a slave, I know that BDSM is not about me, but how I may serve you and make your life easier for you. I possess honestly, integrity and ethics and I expect the same from the Dominate as well. I see my future where I will live in a rigid, powerful Female-Led Relationship where the Mistress will make and enforce the Rules of our relationship. What I Have to Offer: *I will accept your will and decisions without hesitation or ion. I WILL OBEY! *I will devote myself to fully pleasing you including doing all of the housework, laundry, shopping, etc. to remove any unwanted tasks from your life (Service Oriented Slave) *I will accept all forms of discipline and punishment when required to insure I remain focused on obeying your Rules, Commands and Instructions. Obviously, you may also punish me whenever you feel like doing so just for your amusement   Our Relationship: * You will determine my schedule and how I spend my time  in an effort to add quality to your life *You will decide what I wear and when I wear it to humiliate and control me * You will benefit from my unique wisdom and areas of expertise as developed over the years. However, the final decision in any matter is yours alone *Our relationship will be dedicated to a lifestyle, not a form of role-playing (Female Supremacy to male subservience) *Our relationship will be based on Trust and Compatibility. Such an arrangement like this is not something you just jump into without developing trust with each other *In its purest form, our relationship will be all about You.

Due to medical reasons and the fact I have loss the use of my left arm I am removing myself from the market, those that wish to keep in contact can message me by text. It been real and it been fun but can't say it's been real fun. This account will be deleted in two days

I don't think I am being a snob but I really don't want to date the following:     PE Teachers Married men Amazon drivers Delivery drivers Uncertified psychologists but claim to be life coaches (sad bunch) Boring IT guys (you guys are lazy as fuck) Men in prison usin the computers to go on CS and telling me about the wrongful rape convictions and think they can support my sexual needs online (Jesus can't even save you). I am nothing special but come on someone with a flavour for life and traveling the world or going for a long walk in Thetford Forest (with camping gear and compass). Someone who likes DX biking or countryside biking or hanging out in Norfolk going for a walk and drinking hot chocolate and coffee. Come on! I am not going to allow any deviant to spank me 

Hello everyone...  subMeghan here. As rerquired by my dom, as I type this I am sitting here naked, except for my dog collar and glasses...  what else is new... I had an interesting chat with a user here and I have come to the conclusion that I am pretty terrible submissive.  The problem is that I am a sub for my dom, and only my dom.  I am not your sub.  My dom has directed me to be polite, not submissive, towards you all.  For us it is role playing. So, not only am I not a 24/7 sub, I am not inclined to behave like a sub unless I'm with my dom. So the dilemma for me is, How should I interact with you all?  I've taken the approach that being a sub is like my "job", and that when I'm here, I'm off work.  I'm not working, but perfectly happy to talk about my job. I don't think this approach is working out to well...  and I think that a lot of times my one on one interactions with you all are not satifying. What do you all think?  Should I modify my profile?  If so, what should it say? I'm really interested in what you all think.  Send me a message, and let me knbow what you think?   subMeghan  

Last night was tuned into KPR Retro Cocktail hour, a 2 hour program focused on post WW2 Popular Exotica, Islands, and really the worldwide impact of various musics in diverse cultures that the WW2 Soldiers were in contact with throughout the world and when returned Popular Music, Lounge (Clubbing today) Music and on the radio reflected their experiences with Hawaiian & other south Pacific influences, as well as, Latino Jazz or even Africa influence. Exotica, Space Age Bachelor Pad Musics and the list is endless. Actually lots of fun though the music a bit uneven in quality over all fun stuff. Been in correspondence with a few Sub's giving me some hopefulness that something real may in time develop between myself and one of them or another eventually. All Night Jazz followed, and had a couple of Rum & Dew cocktails while listening to some first rate jazz ensembles of this generation and going back to the old masters. Turned in, and realized mild depression of the other day has lifted. This morning woke up feeling a bit optimistic and feeling good about, if not already met, still meeting on this site a prospective submissive that will be a good fit for me and for her. Listening to some Baroque Music in background and since house work need be done and I'm the only one here might actually sweep up some if not all of the basement floor today. Plus do some organizing. Mostly was organized tool shop area, Landscape materials and gear in another area, Holiday decorations for inside & outside of house and other types of stuff stored in specific areas on  basement shelves. Due, to having installed decorative gravel around the house and constructing a back patio, front yard twin garden plots and other such landscaping a lot of that stuff is on the floor off their shelf space and need to put all that stuff away as well as tools such as hammers, scrapers screwdriver, pliers, drill etc back into their proper locations within their specific areas. Would be pleasant must admit, now this morning, having a submissive wife doing this along side me, after having coffee together and myself taking a break to watch her busy and cleaning and ordering these matters as directed by myself. Do need to resume composing the set of Short String Quartets stopped work on a year ago, finished the first 60 but the total set will take another 10 to 12 weeks to finish, a total of 1,095. 1 for every day of the Pandemic over a 3 year period. However sweeping the basement also needs doing too.  

WELL!!!  What can I say?  I have been a Goddess to all low life loosers and it seems the older I become the more my temper and patience grows shorter as I am constantly having to turn so many loosers away, and believe me!! Goddess Davinia Jade does NOT get any satisfaction from turning male and cd/tv subbys or pathetic males who cheat on their wives and beg ME to take control of their lives, in every way. Dare YOU become a special pet to The Goddess Davinia Jade, SHE WHO WILL BE OBEYED, SHE WHO IS CONSTANTLY IN YOUR MIND,  SHE WHO BRINGS REAL HAPPINES AND MEANING INTO YOUR LIFE  SHE WHO GIVES YOU A REASON TO LIVE  Only you, the real looser, can make that decision, so act NOW and apply to your Goddess, and I Expect, NO I WANT to see a well written mail with plenty of reasons as to why this Goddess should even consider you and take some of her precious time to answer your mail????  Then again if you dont try you will never know, never reach that high state of personal happiness and excitement.   

5 Traits Dominants Are Looking For In a Submissive YMMV: It's important to note that all relationships and personal preferences vary greatly among individuals. However, here are five qualities most Dominants are looking for in a D/s relationship: Trustworthiness: Dominant individuals often value trust as a fundamental aspect of their relationship. They seek a submissive partner who is reliable, honest, and can be trusted to communicate openly and honestly about their desires, needs, and boundaries. Respect and obedience: Dominant individuals typically look for a submissive partner who respaspects their authority and is willing to obey their instructions within the agreed-upon boundaries of the relationship. This involves a mutual understanding and clear communication about limits and consent. Subservience: Dominant individuals may desire a submissive partner who enjoys fulfilling their needs and desires, and who derives pleasure from serving and pleasing them. This can manifest in various ways, such as performing acts of service, physical or emotional intimacy, or engaging in specific power dynamics. Communication and responsiveness: Dominant individuals value a submissive partner who is attentive and responsive to their guidance and instructions. They may appreciate a partner who actively communicates their thoughts, feelings, and desires, allowing for a better understanding of each other's needs and preferences. Vulnerability and surrender: Dominant individuals often seek a partner who is willing to surrender control and be vulnerable within the established boundaries of their dynamic. This can involve the submissive partner relinquishing decision-making authority to the dominant and finding pleasure or fulfillment in their submission. Finally, it's worth mentioning that any relationship involving dominance and submission should always be consensual, built on trust, and characterized by clear communication. Both partners should have a mutual understanding of boundaries, desires, and consent, and should prioritize each other's emotional and physical well-being. Consent and respect should always be the foundation of any healthy relationship dynamic. "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero.  

There should be a place to go where you can fuck and feed. I remember with my ex we had sex pretty much 24/7. Call it the fuck and feed. Never found someone to keep up and even he complained about too much sex. Alas he was the only one I could just make/go get a sammich and we went right back it. We had sex in all the strange places graveyards temples churches, besides anywhere outside  We didn't discriminate.  This one time I dropped off my friend told him I'd pick him up in an hour my ex and I had sex in the car for the whole day we never stopped. My friend walked to my car (which was a parking lot) knocked on the window and said "some hour it's been over 12". My ex and I honestly thought it was like 10 mins. I have no regrets - just miss the sex all the time every time with a massive BBC. This i something of the past I don't want to stay there would like a repeat thanks 

Hello to the Newbies, Lifers, Kinksters, and PowerPlay People, This was my favorite place to blog.  When it was bought and they made it hard to post in your profile and changes required a wait to be approved, which went on for part of a year, I left. My life has been moving and doing since I was last on here often posting my thoughts.  I still have saved the oiriginal posts I put in my profile.   Some of it was some interesting shit I don't want to rewrite for a podcast or a book. We are all here to be open, open on the inside and with many hiding their outside with masks and fetish wear..lmao  but open still.  Wide open aren't you, you cumsluts. To the Men who are just kinksters and here for sex primarily, most of you don't interest me in the least.   I am born a naturally Dominant/Alpha and even in my vanilla life I am the one in charge.  Period.  If you are not able to submit without worrying about sex and orgasms, if you need to act up to be punished, you are not of interest to me.   My interests include spending a LOT of my time painting, writing and getting an art business up and running so I am independant and no longer on SSI after breast cancer.   One of the things I dealt with in my time away from here. I am a computer geek, with two pitbulls, art supplies for several businesses, and I am home with a great garden and mobile home spot I will sell in a few years.  Someone who wants to create art or go tech and work on websites, social media for stores, etc. or a good dog person, house cleaner who has a great vocabulary fits my lifestyle.  Lots of free time to learn and improve your own life is a good fit as well. My life has included fantastic sex, better than yours in most cases.  I prefer to wait to have a superior time than fuck someone not worth a dime.   I am getting shit fixed in my life before I care about a sex partner.    My sex type is not the same as my companion type, unless you are a computer geek with a great smile, abs, ass and eyes....lmao    Let life roll and have fun, Lola the Iron Mistress

Master's WritingsCategorizing Levels of SubmissionOthers, in an attempt to categorize submissives, have described submissives by the levels of their submission, moving from role play to slave, while others suggest there are distinct categories of submission, where the motivation behind one’s submission drives their role such as for fantasy, relationship and/or fetish. Acknowledging that all submissives are different and any such categories could only apply in the loosest of terms, I find both model instructive in its own way, yet somehow missing the mark in some aspaspaspects.The creators of both models clearly identified that each individual submissive is unique and comes to their submission and depth of submission in their own way for their own purpose. And to this, I completely agree. Yet we are humans and we live to label things, so I will offer my own model, recognizing full well that mine too will fall short of describing all submissives and their motivations. I would also note that what I suggest here may have already been put forth. If so, I offer this only as my own ideas without the knowledge of their contribution to our body of knowledge. Thus I would offer a third model for consideration and discussion.I see it more a kin to the structure of Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs, Where Maslow identifies our most basic needs, moving from basic survival to self-actualization, I see submissions moving from role play to self-realization. The model I put forth is as follows: Role play. A connection to the role based on whatever preconceptions or second hand knowledge they may have. While one might act the part, they have no emotional or mental connection to the role Exploration. The beginning stages of submissive awareness where thru trial and error or training, real experiences begin the development of a connection to a submissive’s awareness and one's submissive self. This level usually includes an over indulgence or over compensation of doing what they think a sub "should do". Connection. The birth of inner connectedness to one’s submissive self, and the realization of what it feels like to give of one’s self to another. Hallmarked by a greater sense of self awareness, a growing identity as a submissive and a struggling to reconcile their submissive life with their vanilla life. Identity and Belonging. The inner awareness and shift of self-identity as a submissive or having submissive side (as in a switch), as a genuine and acknowledged part of their persona. While they may not share this openly with others, inwardly there is a growing conviction that being a submissive is core to their being. While connection can occur at any stage, at this stage, connection to a Dominant becomes more essential to allow for further growth. Confidence. As identity as a submissive grows and self-esteem relating to the role increases, their confidence of self grows. The focus can now be more inward to understand their submissive needs, who they are as a submissive, and the beginning of blending their submissive self into their vanilla life and identity. Self-Realization and Connectedness to their Id. Full acceptance of their new identity, as submission is fully integrated into their sense of self. Submission can now fuel their lives and relationships with greater meaning and richer experiences as they fully integrate their submissive-self into their vanilla life. Not every submissive will reach or choose to reach this level.        I would welcome comments and ideas for the improvement of this model if others see value in it.

This just to see what its say but I am way more than this but its was funny to try. lololol   == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  98% Rope bunny  94% Pet  93% Submissive  89% Voyeur  81% Experimentalist  79% Degradee  55% Slave  54% Exhibitionist  41% Masochist  35% Vanilla  27% Non-monogamist  5% Brat  0% Ageplayer  0% Boy/Girl 

Requirements as a submissive; honesty, trust, and genuine effort, not perfection.   I think a lot of people have the wrong idea or wrong impression of what it takes to be in a dynamic. They have this fairy tale mentality about BDSM dynamics and what they should be like. I imagine this is because in some ways they have been so romanticized and popularized that its a great fantasy for things to work out that way. Unfortunately though, that isn't reality. At least not for the majority of us. We don't need perfect. We aren't looking for perfect, and we don't want you to be perfect. What we want is honesty, trust, and genuine effort.   Now those three things can mean a lot more than what they look like on the surface. So lets break it down a little. Starting with honesty. What does honesty mean? Well it means a lot. It means being honest, being truthful, being real, meaning what you say, and saying what you mean. It means so much more than that but I think that you get the idea. Take it from someone who found out the hard way how difficult life can be when you don't live it honestly compared to how much easier it is when you just live within the truth. When there are no secrets or games and you are just you, all of the good parts and the bad. You take responsibility for yourself and your faults and when you screw up you admit it. You are honest about who you are and what you want. One of the biggest parts in honesty in my opinion though, being a person of your word. If you say you are going to do something, or that you wont do something, you hold yourself to it. Your word is your bond. If you cant do that then you really aren't worth much.   Next we move on to trust. So what is trust? Well to put it simply trust is a combination of honesty and actions. At least thats a very simply put version of what it is really. Without trust you can't build any kind of real foundation for anything. That applies to any kind of relationship and not just anything in the realm of BDSM. That applies to friendships and work relationships just as much as personal and romantic relationships. Without trust you can't ever really let yourself go in any situation. You are always on guard. Without trust nothing will work in the long term, it will all be just a superficial flash in the pan.   Last we come to genuine effort. You can have honesty and trust, but it wont mean much of anything unless a person is willing to put forth genuine effort. You can have all of the perfect components and get absolutely nowhere if only one person is putting forth any effort or if one person is only putting forth minimal effort. We all understand that everyone has a life, we are all busy, we all have things going on, we get that. All I'm saying is don't claim to want something if you aren't willing to put forth the effort in actually pursuing or developing it. Maybe you don't put in the effort because you are scared, or any number of 100 different reasons, who knows. What I do know is how absolutely disheartening it can be when someone tells you over and over again that they want something with you and then they just never show up. If you want it, then you have to put forth the effort. Actual genuine effort. And yes that may mean taking time out of your day doing other things that you normally do like watching tiktoks or whatever other superficial thing it is that you spend most of your time doing. When you tell someone repeatedly that you want something with them, but also that you never have time for them its difficult but most people will still make an effort. When they later find out that you actually spend hours a day on social media not actually doing anything and you are still claiming that you don't have enough time for them thats a giant slap in the face. Learn how to prioritize what is important if these are things that you actually want and stop playing with the people that do actually want them if you don't.   Honesty, trust, and genuine effort. In my opinion, I don't feel like those things are too much to ask, at least not to start with. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows. I've been known to be a little old fashioned in my values in that sort of way. Maybe I'm no longer with the times. If thats the case then so be it I guess. I have a feeling that I'm not the only one that thinks the way I do though. Here is to hoping that I'm not. 

What is Y/your WHY? If You are familiar with the Simon Sinek video which You'll find easily enough on Utube he asks the question about what is your WHY.  The Why is what gets you out of bed in the morning, it's what motivates you and pushes you and keeps you constantly striving and pushing forward. I was thinking about that video again today because I feel like it's a good question to consider when figuring out where I belong in this lifestyle.  And simply put, I think that while I am searching for an Owner just like every other s-type here, I realize that what I am really seeking is my WHY or more specifically, that person who embodies my WHY.  I'm not seeking an Owner because of the kink or because of some fetish though those are certainly the spices of this lifestyle.  I'm seeking my Owner because I believe they will be the WHY in my life.  I don't think I currently, truly have a WHY. I think everyone wants to live a life of meaning and purpose.  I think everyone wants to matter.  I think everyone wants to know that when it's all said and done, there will be something they can look back upon and smile knowing that what they did made a difference. I have a good job, but it's just that, a job.  I've achieved professionally, but the truth is that my career has never been more to me than a means of paying the bills.  I don't have any kids.  I know a lot of people live for their kids but life didn't work out that way for me.  So what is my life for?  What is my WHY? I think that's what I am searching for here. I think my Owner will be my WHY.  I think They will be the reason i get out of bed smiling every morning.  I think that in surrendering to Them, I allow Them to direct and control my life in a way that pleases Them and give me a sense of purose, direction and that through my service, worship and obedience to Them, I am living a life of meaning.  A service sub or slave takes joy in pleasing, in washing every dish and scrubbing every floor for their Owner.  We take pride in our willingness to do whatever it takes to make Them happy and we are grateful to Them for every single thing They allow us to do in service to Them. It's why we want to say "Thank You," when we fetch that glass of water for You.  It's why we want to say "Thank You," after You've allowed us to pleasure You.  Or, why we say, "Thank You," when You deny us pleasure as a means of making You happy. There are certainly a lot of people who are only in this for the kink and fetish but I think there are a lot of us who are in this looking for our WHY too.  And our WHY is a person we get to please and in allowing us to do so, they give our lives meaning.  That's an extrordinary gift.  And the truth is no matter how much You demand of us, no matter how hard You work us, no matter how much You push us, we will never be able to repay You for that gift.  It's the difference between a life looked back upon with joy or with regret.  It's why wanting to own an s-type is an act of grace and benevolence.  

You tell me not to worry.  But are we not all motivated by fear? Or desire? Are they two sides of the same coin? I crave climax but it is harder to come by. Do I need a new toy, or is the toy no longer enough? It's a strange thing to consider my libido as a post-menopausal woman? At whatever age, we are never properly balanced, hormonally. Our modern diet and lifestyle keep us out of whack. I am probably lucky I have a libido at all!  Should I tell you about the couple at the end of the bar? She was at least mid-40's, he was maybe a bit older, but both in fine fettle, and good looking. They seemed like a pair of old socks, but then he started groping her, his big hand planted just below her right breast, fingers spread wide. He rubbed her belly like she was a pet, but then would bring his hand back up. When he took his hand away, she crossed her arms. Was she trying to keep him away? When they stood to leave he wrapped himself around her from behind and she asked if he had always been such a big cuddler. She had a British accent, thus the use of cuddle.  Was I jealous? On my other side was a 9 year old boy with his dad. Equally entertaining!  I thought I would keep strolling, see what else I might wander into, but I decided to call it a day.  Now I can enjoy the Sunday scaries in the privacy of my own home. 

Finding the Dominant you want.  There are a lot of submissives looking for a Dominant. Your initial interaction can make or break if you move forward.  Figure out what you are looking for. Then, look for someone who fits that vision.  A loving relationship? A scene occasionally?  Do you want someone who does precisely what you want?   Are you basing your need off porn and fantasy? Think about this one. Don't look for perfect because you might pass up someone who can grow to be your "perfect" person in all the right ways. Don't be blind to imperfections; you might miss out.  Get to know the real person you are talking to.  Don't hold the person to your porn fantasy?  No one will meet the fantasy built up in a realistic relationship.  Great advice, I read this morning. "The best advice I can give any submissive man is do not look for a domme; look for a person."  Build the relationship after getting to know the person in a vanilla way. You might be surprised how much more fulfilling the relationship will be.  Be the amazing, intelligent person you are, and let yourself shine while getting to know her. 

Male wives, sissification, forced bi, and forced fem (from Fet) This is a long overdue update to a previous post. It felt kind of vague when I first wrote it 6 years ago, but with new insight, I'm going to attempt a bit of clarification. Why am I looking for a male wife? I only experience initial primary sexual attraction to a very narrow subset of people (thanks, demisexuality). It shortens the extremely lengthy process of friendship and emotional compatibility leading to sexual attraction. To me, a male wife is more of a genderfluid, androgynous, or crossdressing AMAB who doesn't rigidly adhere to stereotypical gender roles in real life. Some buzzwords may include metrosexual or femboy. He finds enjoyment and comfort in incorporating stereotypically feminine roles, attitudes, and attire, just as I do on the masculine side of things. He craves the freedom that comes with true gender equality on all fronts. I think I have more in common with heteroflexible, bi, or pan guys (I, too, like men), but I'm definitely not turning away straight guys with a healthy mindset lol Anyway, he's generally also more confident in himself and open-minded in regards to exploring gender identity and sexuality in kink as well. If not, he's actively working on eliminating misogyny, misandry, or elements of toxic masculinity that may be causing him to struggle in his life. There's no sissification, forced feminization, or forced bisexuality. If this is you, contact me :) Why is sissification a hard no for me? Unfortunately, there's an element of misogyny and mockery of women related to sissification. Before you say "not all sissies", please keep in mind that your counterparts are badly misrepresenting you. Personally, sissification gives me old-school minstrel vibes. A select few minstrels put on blackface and made a point to use it positively to honor and represent black people in a way that most white audiences had never experienced. Unfortunately, it was overwhelmingly used by white men to mock with offensive caricatures and harmful stereotypes for the pleasure of themselves and their audience. Think hard about why sissification is so prevalent in a subset of domination that's supposed to be woman-positive. It concerns me because your extremely loud counterparts seek a dominant woman, yet appear to believe that being a woman is somehow inferior. Are they honoring women by honestly representing us, or are they using it as a way to mock us with caricatures of ourselves and harmful stereotypes? Are they using that internalized misogyny to fuel their humiliation kink and to entertain their audience so they can all get off to it? (and before you come after me, I'm both black and a woman - so yes, I can make these comparisons and they are definitely fair) When I see so many people who identify as sissies looking like they just stumbled home after drinking heavily and puking in the bushes at a frat party, it's disheartening. The makeup is clownish and smeared, the outfit is hideous, the wig is terrible and crooked...it's just a mess, and it truly hurts to see ourselves represented this way. It's humiliating to us and to them, and I understand that humiliation may be their kink, but their future dominant may not want to see someone dressed as a caricature of themselves. This is likely why sissification doesn't sit well with the majority of lifestyle dominants, and they may not be able to explain it past a basic "ew, no thanks." Why are forced feminization and forced bisexuality a hard no for me? There's misandry and aspects of toxic masculinity related to forced feminization and forced bisexuality. There's rarely any true "force" involved. Instead, there's a great deal of transferring emotional responsibility to the dominant to avoid feeling guilt for enjoying something they feel societal pressure to dislike because it's not considered "manly." I am completely uninterested in incels, alphas, or whatever ultra-toxic pick-up artist crap is going on out there. 2017 version of this post, titled "Comparison: Male Wife vs. Male Partner in FLR" To me, a male wife is more of a genderfluid or androgynous man who doesn't adhere to masculine stereotypes and has no issue with it. There's no need to feminize him as he's already naturally more feminine in mindset and/or body than society prefers. When in womenswear, he prefers looking as natural as possible and eschews excessively frilly "sissy" wear. He doesn't call himself a sissy, either, as the term has a negative connotation for me of "femininity deserves humiliation and mockery." He's generally also more confident in himself and open-minded in regards to exploring gender identity and sexuality in kink. In summary, if I tell this man he looks beautiful in a dress, he'd accept it as the compliment I intended. If this is you, send me a message. On the other hand, a male partner is more stereotypically masculine and more reticent to explore gender identity and sexuality in kink without being "forced" to, e.g. forced bi, forced feminization, forced sissification. There's a great deal of transferring responsibility to the dominant to avoid feeling guilt for enjoying something they feel societal pressure to dislike because it's not considered "manly." It concerns me because they want a dominant woman, yet they believe being womanly is somehow inferior. In summary, if I tell this man he looks beautiful in a dress, he takes it as an insult or believes that I'm trying to humiliate him - which will either turn him on or repulse him. I'm not interested in this guy.

Serenity She walks into his lair with anxiety pulling at her as she watches her poise because he is a Master who holds great expectations. This excites her as her goal is to please him regardless of his high expectations. She knows he has had other slaves and she is eager to see where this leads, but he requires patience. She prostrates herself in front of him to show her submission and willingness. This act increases her anxiety but feeds her submission. This inspires the Master to pull the beast from within her, something so submissive must have an inner core that is her primal side. He wants to push her limits and chains her to the floor. He oils her because as he likes the marks, but he doesn’t want to rip her skin. He knows what his goal is and even the devil himself would be jealous of the effect that is yearning for. She was shackled to the floor with little to no movement allowed. He stood over her as she tried to hide her whimpers. She could feel the oil dripping around her thighs and in the crack of her ass. The Master asked if she was ok, and she took a moment to squeak out a yes Sir. She had to trust him, she knew this and found comfort that if he felt she was ready for such a journey then she was ready. She let go and opened herself giving the Master the ability to illicit the responses he was craving. The energy flowed with every interaction he created, she embraced it and as the pain and pleasure intertwined and came to climax her submission climbed with it. He brought her back down where she laid still but shackled limp and panting. He draped a blanket over her it was soft and warm, he placed a small pillow under her head, and he gave her small sips of water through a straw. He directed her to drink, and she did as told. He sat next to her watching as she slowly came back. Slowly he unshackled her and embraced her. She was now curled up to him on the floor where he continued aftercare. She was fulfilled as he was obviously proud of her and even told her so as he stroked her hair.   

Bridget Choses Enslavement   Bridget’s emotions were running wild.  The ride up to Master’s gave her ample time to reflect on this special occasion.  Bridget was to be enslaved today.  Master had often told her that all women secretly wanted to be possessed and owned by a dominant master.  Collared.  Be an enslaved slut.  Bridget had embraced her inner slave and wanted the delicious certainty of being a strong Master’s owned property.  What a glorious feeling to have no need to carry on with the soul killing charade of denying her sexuality, her submission, her needs and desires. Bridget was so sure.  She couldn’t wait for their special ritual.  The ritual was ordered by her Master but she had made adjustments and additions that had delighted Master.  She knew Master treasured her and all of her. He often remarked on her intelligence and how it drove her kink and also drove his passion to be her owner.  Master always said women with a desire for the collar, for enslavement were usually the very intelligent ones.   Before she left home Bridget paid attention in the shower.  Her shaving was meticulous. Her legs, arms, and pussy were smooth as possible. She thrilled at the thought of the way Master would cup her smooth, oiled pussy and run his hand back and forth as she squirmed and moaned. She knew Master loved to lick and kiss her clit.  He also like to use his Hitachi and a soft makeup brush on her.  He’d alternate the vibrator and brush on her clit.  Sometimes he’d just stop and listen to her breathing.  Bridget loved it when he chained her wrists and ankles in his bed and made her come over and over until she screamed.  He’d gag and blindfold her and make her come some more. Master had learned early in their play to put a towel under her.  The wet spot was something to see. Bridget’s enslavement ritual outfit was all white and had been her idea.  Master had suggested adding long white gloves and she agreed with relish.  Once out of the shower, at Master’s direction, she installed two Ben Wa balls in her pussy.  They went in nicely.  When she walked around she could feel them as she moved.  She wondered if walking in heels would accentuate the sensation.  Oh well, she’d find out soon.  Bridget loved Master’s toy collection.  He had a veritable fleet of vibrators including a very useful remote controlled beauty.  Master said he was shopping for an internet controlled vibrator for some long distance fun.  He also had a selection of nipple clamps, some fun and some she feared.  There was a lot more and she was sure the list was growing After carefully pulling on her white stockings and attaching them to her sexy garter she slipped on her skimpy white panties.  A curvy white push up bra completed her underwear.  She had a nice white blouse with a plunging neckline that accentuated her cleavage. Her brief white skirt would expose her slim legs and white stockings.  Finally she slipped on her white high heels with thosecute sexy little ankle straps.  Naturally she added accessories like a string of pearls and a bright red lipstick.  She decided she’d add her fragrance and put on the white gloves when she arrived at Masters. The miles rolled by.  Her heart sang.  She had made her decision.  It felt so right.  All the things she wanted to experience would be hers in a safe and protected place.  Master would help to explore all the dark kinky places she dreamed about.   The highway intersection appeared on her GPS. She had to turn north.   It was time to call Master.  She heard the phone ring.  Her emotions ping ponged.  Master answered with a pleased voice.  She was close.  He could almost sense her.  They both reveled in the joy of anticipation.     Master remarked that he was looking forward to draping her with his new 1/8” stainless steel chain.  Perhaps chaining her breasts with a nice halter.  When he mentioned that he’d like to chain her in Sirik Bridget’s was incredibly turned on.  The thought of the chain running from her collar to the chained wrist manacles and finally ending on the ankle manacles.  Sirik chain bondage allowed movement but served to remind her that she was owned, protected property.  Master loved everything Gorean and spent a lot of time finding ways to practically adapt the mores of Gor to earth.  A significant Gorean notion is that bondage enhances a woman’s beauty.  Bridget agreed but also concluded bondage made her horny as hell. The rural setting, the trees, the quiet appealed to her.  Here’s the driveway.  Turning right and pulling up the long driveway she found herself next to Master’s car and she knew, the beginning of her life changing event was close at hand.  She put her car in park and applied the parkingbreak.  She felt that she also applied a break on her normal, vanilla life.  She would enter the BDSM Sea.  Enter it as one of the more exotic and nuanced denizens.  She would be a slave girl, specifically a Kajira, a Gorean slave.  Bridget and Master had discussed many aspects of enslavement, slave protocols, sexual ownership, and what they each wanted.  She agreed with Master that after all, it was at its heart, an exotic adult game.  They both knew few could play the game, few could accept their role, and few could adhere to the rules and enjoy them with intense satisfaction.  Bridget loved her role and while their private play was so satisfying, she looked forward to their forays into various forms of public play.  Public Play involved exposing part of her BDSM life to the vanilla world.  Bridget always found it surprising.  She couldn’t believe the naughty sense of excitement she felt when she was exposed.  Was it humiliation, she wasn’t sure but it was very kinky indeed. She applied the bright red lipstick.  She loved the color and loved that her Master had told her he loved bright paint on her lips.  He said she was so attractive and luscious and he wanted her lips prominently displayed for him.  Next her fragrance, chosen because it was both understated and exotic.  At last she pulled on the long white gloves that came up to her elbows. Bridget and Master had discussed how she’d wear the long white gloves and he’d hogtie her and use his ball gag.  The picture in her mind of the helpless position always made her wet and horny.  Master had done this before.  Usually he rubbed a rabbit fur all over her body before he pulled her hair and squeezed her tit while he told her how he felt, what he wanted, and what he’d do with her next. As she turned toward the house she found the garage door open and as she had been instructed, she entered the garage and went to the back door leading into Master’s Rec room.  The lighting was subdued but she saw two large shapes draped in thin cloth.  She knew these were their BDSM toys.  Master had built a large cage for her amusement and a sturdy St Andrews cross that would fulfill her desire to be suspended and held helpless. Master had promised to cuff and chain her to the cross.  She knew she’d be naked and looked forward to the way master slipped a gag into her mouth before he applied something to her ass. Usually he forced a silicone bit gag into her mouth before he used his snake whip on her.  She could bite down on the bit and scream at the same time for the serious relief she craved.  Master had assured her she’d receive a serious whipping and perhaps caning that would leave some minor marks.  She wanted the marks.  She wanted to feel his touch afterward.  She wanted all of the things that ownership demanded. She knew Master had plans for an interesting combination Stocks and Spanking Bench.  Bridget had told Master she’d love to be placed in stocks and have her ass molested, pinched, bit, and butt plugged. She wondered if he’d make good on his promise to administer an enema while in the stocks.  Master had a lot of toys and equipment.  He had showed her the enema paraphernalia and it included an interesting flow meter that Master said was important to ensure reasonable flow and comfort.    Climbing the stairs she heard Master’s voice and it made her heart skip a beat.  She loved the way he spoke to her.  He didn’t speak at her rather he spoke with her, sharing his thoughts and sometimes emotions.  Master was sitting in a large black leather chair.  He was wearing his black suit with a black mandarin shirt and a nice red pocket square.  He leaned forward and motioned for her to come up.  He wondered about her trip and if the Ben Wa balls were still in place and how she liked them.  She told him about her journey and, yes, the Ben Wa twins were still in place and had directed her attention at the oddest of times, like stepping on the brakes. He asked her if she was ready, if she wanted to go through with their plans.  Did she really want all the things they had planned for, had discussed.  She knew what he was asking, giving her a graceful out.  Her mind was made up but his trust and care made her even more convinced that she wanted enslavement, wanted slavery, wanted to be an owned woman, Master’s property.  All of their discussions had led to this decision.  They both saw a Master/slave relationship as the purest and incidentally most fun form of a BDSM power exchange.  Both of their roles had been defined in term that made sense to both Bridget answered him by unbuckling her shoe clasps and removing her heels.  Pulling the ribbon from her hair she let it fall loose about her shoulders.  Bridget smiled at her Master and began removing all her clothing.  Finally she stood before her Master totally naked.  Master seemed very pleased. He rose and ran his fingers gently all over Bridget.  Master believed that a Gorean Master took great pride in his Kajira, his slave and should be familiar with every inch of her. Bridget knew that her actually collaring demanded that she be naked. She knelt gracefully before him, raised her arms over her head and crossed her wrists.  Bridget had assumed the Kolar or collar position of a Kajira, a Gorean slave.  She knew the message she was sending was that she was ready to be bound and collared.  Naturally she looked down and waited for Master.  The decision was not only made but by showing her acceptance of their planned bond to her Master she knew it was done.  How happy, how fulfilled.  She almost wanted to cry the emotions were so strong. Her life as a Kajira, a Gorean slave was about to begin.  See accepted that she must always be pleasing and offer perfect obedience. Master formally asked her why she was before him and what were her deepest desires for enslavement.  She continued to look down and at first her voice was a whisper but as she gained confidence she became secure and spoke with a clear steady voice.  She asked to be enslaved.  She pledged to serve Master in all ways.  She would be pleasing at all times with perfect obedience.  She would be the owned possession of Master, subject to his commands, dressing as he directed.  She spoke the words of enslavement, “bind me master”. She spoke the timeless pledge saying she wished to be enslaved and then crossing her wrists in front of her asked that Master bind her.  She felt the ceremonial tying of her wrists with the traditional Gorean yellow bindings.  Master then said he would complete the ceremony, their enslavement ritual, by collaring her.  She felt the collar begin to encircle her throat.  She gasped as he pulled her hair back so he could buckle the collar.  Her formal slave collar was polished metal and had a screw driven locking mechanism.  It would be difficult or next to impossible to remove, not that Bridget would ever think about removing the symbol that encircled her throat.  Master completed fastening her collar.  He took her chin in his hand and remarked on her beauty and suitability to be his Kajira. Master removed the bindings from her wrists and ordered her to stand and had her turn around slowly to display herself. She looked at herself and saw the beautiful collar.  All she could say was “La Kajira, La Kajira”, Gorean for I am a slave. Bridget now understood in a most intimate way that her master treasured her and wanted to enjoy his treasure.  Master had two more things to complete the ritual and the first had Bridget very nervous.  Bridget knew she was to be branded.  Thankfully the branding didn’t call for a real white hot branding iron.  Bridget received a henna dye print representation of the Gorean Kef, a very delicate elaborately beautiful “K”, leaving a sharp red image high on her left thigh.  Next Master spoke her new slave name. When Bridget and Master were together in their new roles, she would be “Sefa”.  Master explained that her new slave name was pronounced SEHF-ah and meant pleasure.  He said she was named that way to remind her how she must always be his pleasure slave.  She didn’t think that would ever be a problem. It was done. Bridget had been collared, branded, and named.   Master said he accepted her as his Kajira.  Master directed her to put on her garter, stockings, panties, and heels.  He snapped a leash onto her collar ring and said “bracelets”.  Bridget immediately put her wrists behind her back, slightly bowed her head, and turned around to receive Master’s manacles. Using the leash and her bound wrists he moved her forward.  Master led her around a bit and then out around the deck. Master often told her that bondage made a woman more beautiful and that served to make her move in a sensuous, elegant manner.  Bridget agreed and could think of nothing better than to be on her knees with her Master’s cock in her mouth. He took her over to a chair by the deck table.  He motioned for her to kneel.  He unclipped the leash and attached a short piece of chain to her collar.  The chain was connected to a d-ring embedded in one of the large deck posts.  Bridget was chained to a post with her wrists bound.  Never before had she felt so at peace.  She was owned.  She had been confined on her Master’s deck.  She felt the chain on her chest.  Bridget’s excitement was mixed with embarrassment and humiliation.  She was on her knees dressed like a tarty slut, out in the open for all the world to see.  She realized that Master was exhibiting her as his prize possession.  Of course she thought, it’s highly unlikely we’ll be disturbed.  We’re out in the woods on a secluded property with foliage all around.  Master laughed and said UPS or FEDEX might show up. Bridget’s life as a slave had begun.  She wished and waited for what was next.  Master said she was to be caged in his slave pen after they had discussed their enslavement ritual.  Master took a plate of fruit and picked up a small piece of melon.  He held it out for her to nibble. She daintily nibbled the fruit.  She was being fed by Master’s hand.  She felt a deep bond and happiness.  Next Master poured some of his cool drink into a small bowel.  He placed it before her and motioned for her to drink.  He was watering his slave, caring for his prize possession.  She knelt before the bowel and lapped at the drink. She felt so humiliated to be made to drink in this fashion but it also was so deliciously kinky.   Her journey had begun.  Life would never be the same.  A calmness, a fullness, a richness had descended on her soul.  Master caressed her cheek and breasts and then checked the manacles.  He also adjusted her collar.  Bridget knew master would always make sure she looked her best.  She was his prize possession. Master leaned back and took a small velvet sack from the side table.  “Nadu” Master commanded and Bridget went into the slave position that had her kneeling with her wrists behind her back. Bridget was fascinated  She knelt with her thighs spread wide, back arched, wrists crossed behind her back.  Master produced a bright red ball gag and told her to open her mouth. Bridget felt the ball pressed tightly into her mouth as Master firmly buckled the gag in place.  She found her hands bound behind her back, and the ball gag reduced her to small whimpers to communicate.  She knew she was vulnerable and totally in the control of her master.  It was delicious.  It made her wet just to think of all the things he would do with her.  The bracelets were gleaming metal and had a short length of chain between them so they were relatively comfortable. Master helped Bridget to stand.  He pulled her panties down to her ankles and helped her bend over. He guided her to lay across his lap and began to stroke and kneed her ass cheeks.  Master remarked that she had a pleasingly plump ass that just begged to be spanked.  Bridget felt her Master applying some kind of oil on her ass cheeks.  She wiggled across his lap into a more comfortable position. It made her feel exposed, controlled, at her Master’s mercy.  Bridget couldn’t believe how excited she felt, how she wanted more, more attention, more control. Master told Bridget that he wanted to assert his ownership, make sure she knew she was his property.  Bridget whimpered her assent. She wanted to be his,begged her master to have her, to make her his own, anyway he wanted.  Just do it now. Master began a slow rhythmic paddling of Bridget’s ass.  Slowly at first but soon faster and harder.  Bridget moaned and gasped. Master paused and asked Bridget if she was his, his property. Bridget thought “yes, yes, yes, have me, have all of me.  I am your Kajira and want to be nothing else”.  Master held up one finger which was the signal for silence Bridget was surprised that Master had shut her up, to be quiet.  She understood that he wanted to be in control.  He told her he felt so completed by their rituals.   Master loved the idea that they had built their own kinky world and Bridget loved the way he ruled it. He could silence her with a command or perhaps a gag.  She loved the delicious excitement when he placed a nice red silicone ball gag in her mouth.  Naturally Master could silence her by imposing speech restrictions and she always complied but the ball gag was so hot. Master reached behind her to the small table by his large leather chair.  Bridget felt his movement and turned her head.  “Oh my” she thought as Master’s hand held the red ball gag, a shiny bright metal butt plug, and a tube of lubrication.  Her heart beat faster as she realized she was in for another anal training session.  

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you...but trusting them not to.     Thoughts on submission.... Submission is not about being used, submission is about being of use. Submission is not thinking less of yourself, Submission is thinking of yourself less. Submission is not about what is done to you Submission is what you can do for her.  

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Rope bunny100% Masochist98% Submissive82% Boy/Girl70% Experimentalist69% Brat66% Non-monogamist65% Exhibitionist64% Ageplayer64% Slave62% Primal (Prey)56% Degradee41% Voyeur33% Vanilla19% Pet

  Found this on a profile...well said:    1. The male must always practice respect, whether in private or public. Stand when she enters the room. Sit (or kneel) as soon as She is seated. 2. Be totally attentive: open doors, offer her your coat, she sits first, begins to eat first, and always ask permission to leave her presence. 3. The male should never speak unless spoken to, or unless anticipating the needs of his Mistress. 4. The submissive will never sit with legs spread or slouch in a way typical of untrained males. Good posture and decorum is a sign of respect. 5. The male will never stare at a woman without her permission. Unless the woman seeks eye-contact, they submissive will keep his eyes lowered at all times. 6. When walking with his Mistress, or any woman, the submissive will keep his gait in step with hers, which usually means taking smaller steps. The male should always be at least 1-2 steps behind, but not too far because he must open all doors. 7. The submissive must always be pleasant, never argue and never pout. 8. The male surrenders control of how he spends his time, how he dresses, what he eats, where he sleeps, the friends or acquaintances he is allowed to keep. 9. The submissive must remember that his orgasm does not belong to him but to his Mistress. It is Hers to use or deny... however she sees fit. 10. The submissive may never touch his own genitals without the permission of his Mistress. When washing, he must use a wash cloth or brush, never his hands. 11. The submissive should never buy his own clothing without the guidance of his Mistress. He should buy what pleases her, not what he likes. 12. When urinating, the submissive will always sit on the toilet... no exceptions. 13. The submissive must submit to eating only “submissive food” selected by his Mistress whenever she requires it. 14. When a meal is over the submissive must be quick to clear the table and wash the dishes. 15. The submissive must always give his Mistress the first choice of everything — She picks the channel on TV to watch, the restaurant to go to, the movie to see, the friends to entertain, etc. 16. The submissive will perform all household chores for his dominate, to include(but not limited to): sweep and vacuum all floors and carpets mop all floors dust and polish all furniture make the beds every day wash and fold all clothing linen scrub bathrooms clean kitchen Cook meals wash dishes set the table shop for groceries take out trash and sort recycled items run all errands

So many uneducated to kink, fantisizing boys out there. Apparently they hover like lost gohsts waiting for their versions of heaven. They have no clue how to actually meet a Domme. Time wasters, taking up space trying to fill in their cookie-cutter cartoon figure of the leather clad evil queen who will not make any trouble after they are satiated. Huummm, wow, thats a ProDomme, Not one of us everyday, living the lifestyle women.  A  fairly insightful post on the FetLife site. A suggested read fo all subs. https://fetlife.com/whytheydanced/posts/12285859 . Also look up 2KinkyWomen.com poscast. Episodes 12,42,44. The other podcasts are good for overall education. Good luck to you all. Read the profiles a couple of times. Actually live close enough to drive to Me. Otherwise, do not even bother wasting both of our time.  H  

It has occurred to me that for thousands of years almost every woman (and man) has participated in not just power exchange, but perhaps a form of prostitution as well. Almost every marriage in history is a result of women looking for protection and provision. In exchange for this the man gets sex. What says the crowd? While on the subject of prostitution, if a woman does exchange sexual favors for compensation, has she also committed the crime of human trafficking, even if her "victim: was herself? Many want "Her body, Her choice" but when it comes to prostitution they will write a hundred laws to prevent it (except for the escorts their aids bring in for them).

My Name is Sara Sands I am a transgender M2F, I have always felt Femmine and submissive but not a Slave type, I have a great deal of experience in D/s and always craving to learn and expand my submission deeper, I have served Dom Men, Domme Females and Domme trans, and Dom/Domme couples I am very obedient and very clean, I know from my yrs of meeting that a Dominant and submissive connection starts with Mindset, Sexual acts are the product of unlocking that mindset, Verbal control of me to start is key to my submission, The only way I have found pleasure is in serving and pleasing my Dom/Domme Humiliation and Punishment, I understand is a tool to remind me of my place and purpose, Once I have given my gift of submission to a Dominant I do as I'm told without hesitation or resistance, I have limits that I know will be tested but do know they would be respected, I am openminded/kinky. This is my first Journal Entry, I will be adding more in time, Starting with some real-life meets both the good ones and bad ones, Sharing the bad meets I hope will maybe spare others the mistakes I've made in judgment Thank you, anyone, that has taken time to read this intro of myself , Sara

I stand before you. A Master Hypnotist trained in the ways of seduction and coercion. The collar that enslaves you still wreathes your lovely neck you can feel it, but how it has become invisible is unclear. You sense my hunger and begin to unbutton your blouse while unrestrained, addictive pleasure courses through your mind and body. Your blouse slips silently to the floor as you begin to remove your brazier and it suffers the same fate. Hoping desperately that your Master is pleased, you help your skirt slide down your legs to join the rest of you clothing. I stand close, forcing your gaze to meet mine, extinguishing the last of your free will. I fondle your breasts then the curve of your waist. I run my hand slowly up your spine and pull you close. You shudder and and struggle to remove your panties. Now as you stand before your Master, unadorned, a tidal wave of arousal washes through you but you there is no release in sight. I motion and you sink slowly to the floor, fully naked, legs folded beneath you. Looking up at your Master, enraptured, doe eyed, staring longingly into my face, you place your hands on your thighs just the way you know that you should and feel the magic of my will and words bind you firmly into that position. I touch your lower lip with my thumb and slowly open your mouth. I slip my fingers every so carefully around the lips that will soon caress my cock. You feel yourself growing wetter, wetter everywhere as your desire for me grows but still you are not allowed to cum. I touch your cheek, the lobe of your ear, slide my hand past your supple shoulder and as I reach down and let my finger encircle your left nipple my hard cock brushes your cheek and you are set aflame by passion as I command you cum. Explosions of rapture seize your body and you are racked in orgasm. Cum now! Harder! Cum for your Master! Harder! I slip my stiff cock into your mouth and as you close your soft lips around it another wave of frenzied pleasure rips through your body. Heaving in orgasm you suck and you lick frantically trying to make me climax. Finally, you taste the saltiness of me, feel the warmth on the back of your throat as I cum into your mouth. Greedily you swallow my gift as the next wave of indescribable pleasure tears through your body setting every nerve, every cell aflame. I leave you burning as I slowly extract my member. Your mouth hangs open wide, not knowing what else to do. You still can't move as the last bit of my germ drips from the corner of your mouth onto your nipple. I look down at my perfect slave and tell you to relax, sleep now and you collapse wearily to the floor spent, happy to the core of your soul that you pleased your Master this time. I pick you up, take you to bed. I gently kiss your lips, the small of your throat, a nipple, naval, your clit. I circle about you. Open your trembling legs. Run my hands down the velvety, warm flesh of your inner thighs as phase two of your training begins.

RAM - Forever And A Day I'll show you I love youI'll show you I careI'll tell you everything you want and need to hear I'll heal your sorrow as long as I'm hereI'll make you smile again so loud and clearWhen your daylight disappearsWhen the storm is coming nearWhen you feel like hope is gone, lean on me – I'll be strongLet it all out now, it will be okayCause I'm gonna heal you now, forever and a dayDon't you give up now, it will be okayCause I'm gonna fight for you forever and a day

== Results from bdsmtest.org: ==   100% Submissive  90% Rope Bunny  88% Brat  81% Masochist  77% Experimentalist   57% Degradee  52% Voyeur  45% Primal (Prey)  38% Vanilla  21% Pet  20% Slave  18% Exhibitionist  9% Non-monogamist  6% Owner  4% Rigger  0% Daddy/Mommy  0% Ageplayer  0% Brat tamer  0% Degrader  0% Dominant  0% Little  0% Master/Mistress  0% Primal (Hunter)  0% Sadist  0% Switch   

An Insider Account of CollarSpace Prison Once upon a time, a little boy stumbled across a news website about some busdriver bitching about a pet getting on the tbe bus with owner. Anyway, years later a website known as showed up. Cool cool. Suddenly, "collarme was disappearing because failing business partnership issues"... What about my information that little boy might have put up? Do not know for how long, but see and look, my data was here in collarspace.com all along. #and that is why it has become difficult for me to delete this account. It serves as a historical reminder that sane people still run the world. So, if you do not like me here, you will like me less in person. If you come up on me without introducing yourself, I expect you are after my money for free, which you are. Now, legally married slave couples that are seeking someone they would like to call "master" may message me; here, there, whereever. Do not dare to presume I care to know you, because I really do not... I wonder, can you place your camera in front of YOUR new born baby son and capture his eyes as he slowly starves to death?     If you do not dare to make and post that video, you are not slave enough for me to consider you "slave", let call your bloodline by that.

What being a prey means for me Finding someone who will grow with me and pursue me always. Someone who enjoys the chase. Someone who will look for ways to outsmart me and capture me. Someone who will put in the effort to get me. Someone who craves me! Play wrestling, biting randomly and many other aspaspects appeal to me in many ways even though it's much newer than the other parts of me it is still there.

I am an experienced master with many years in the lifestyle. I have led a poly house in the past and i have had several slaves. What i seek now is both ambitious and challenging.  For me as well as for you. I wish to build the family I no longer have. I desire to build it around the BDSM lifestyle that I have chosen to live.  I have a small ranch in west Texas. It is a labor of love and endurance. I seek those that desire to part of something larger than themselves. Greater than any one person, even myself.  While at the same time meeting the needs of Master/slave relationships.  It can be both long or short term engagements. Although I prefer long term and those that would desire to wear my brand. Gender and orientation is immaterial. I desire slaves, males and females for manual labor and maintenance. I seek domestic service slaves for care and upkeep of the households. I seek service slaves for the care and upkeep of the workers. I desire business minded professionals to develop the ranch to be profitable, and working slaves (even if outside the ranch) to contribute to that profitability and sustainability. Singles and couples, a place can be found for you. Whether a short term, learning and training opportunity or forever home. Abilities and skills determined. Used and useful. This is not about free labor, free sex or free anything. It is having a place, a home, acceptance and being needed. The brand is not something you earn. It is something that is to be lived up to every day. It is second chances. It is defiance of norms. It is surviving the coming storms.  Chains and cages? Of course! Not just physical ones, but on your mind and heart as well. Whips and canes? Lol. Try me and find out.  All i ask is that you look inside yourself. It is not about whether you think you are worthy or capable. You do not get to make that determination. That is always for others to determine.  Even as a Master has to prove they are capable of leading and being looked up to, worthy of submission, obedience and reverence.  I would love your feed back and constructive criticism is welcome.  Help me determine what this should look like to be successful and sustainable. 

Goddess's Adoring slut The luckiest man who has ever lived is this horny little painslut. He is lucky because he serves the most wonderful Goddess there is. She is the most beautiful Goddess, the most caring Goddess, the smartest Goddess, the kindest Goddess, the most loving Goddess, the sexiest Goddess, the naughtiest Goddess, the raunchiest Goddess, the horniest Goddess, the harshest Goddess, the most fearful Goddess, the Goddess who cums the most explosively and often, and the Goddess who extracts from this trampy little skank his most delicious cries and whimpers and his most convulsive trembles and shivers and squirms. This little painslut knows his Goddess is the brightest star in the Heavens, and that he is the stinkiest turd in the cesspool. he knows that he is entirely unworthy of Her. he knows he doesn't deserve to be the lucky little tart who gets to to be Her footstool and Her washcloth and Her bondage whore and Her strap-on snuggie and Her ball gag cozy and Her clamp organizer and Her flogger fuckhole and Her riding crop cunt and Her whip wimp and Her paintoy and Her whimperbitch. He knows that he is luckiest when he is bound and gagged and helpless and vulnerable and She is extracting the most ecstatic screams and cries and whimpers from him because he displeased Her, or because there is nothing good on TV. He knows he is not worthy of being her little whimperbitch. He is not worthy of serving her, of being owned by Her, of being protected by Her, of being trained by Her, of being cared for by Her, of being harshly used by Her, of being called a good slut by Her, of seeing Her joyful smile, of being allowed to make Her cum explosively and often, and of being the lucky scratching post She so often sharpens Her claws upon.When she is at Her harshest and cruelest and most vindictive, when Her heart is hard and Her eyes are stern and Her commands are full of venom, when his screams and blubbers and whimpers are full of agony, when his cries of mercy are drenched with anguish, when he can do no right and Goddess will tolerate no wrong, those are the times that he adores Her the most. That's how She allows him to give Her the most. That's when She reaches inside him, rips out his beating heart, and consumes it whole as he watches with glee. Goddess will plant in him the seed of a new heart. Her painslut knows this from experience. As it grows, She will tend to it and nurture it and train it and punish it fiercely and grind it to dust and call it back to life and shower it with rage, and then hold it and comfort it while its agonies collect on its cheeks and evaporate into tomorrow's tender rains. This squirming little bit of nothing knows he doesn't deserve Her. He is not worthy of living in the same universe Her. But She allows it, and He adores Her for it.  

Year's ago I went to this intriguing open lecture from a historian who published a book about sexual novelty. He described meeting people with what seemed like an unusal fetish but could be linked back to a childhood encounter. I guess my early encounter links back to my childhood, seeing my mother neglected, disatisfied in her one relationship.  She is one of those Christian women, who has been with one man here whole life and put all her hopes and dreams into one man that shattered her expectations of a happy life and marriage. I guess I lived part of her experience, which is why I am extremely independent always pursing a life goal, always helping others. 90% of my life has been helping other people and I honestly can say if I was hit but a bus, my last thought would be I have helped thousands of people. Just self-reflecting I don't think my sexual fantasies are in the BDSM remit.  I think leather is overrated.  Owning a BDSM dungeon is just bad furniture and B&Q rope.  I just like the idea of three people, entering a space and saying fuck what other people think, what do you want to try and what do you enjoy and leave the rest behind. I am sure there will be some who will show judgement and these are always individuals ignoring the cavities of their own life filling up with shit.  Life really is too short and I would rather in my public life carry on as I am and in my private life explore who I am.

So, if you ask have you owned or collared someone.. The answer is quite definitely yes. Currently collared.. little boy..Shyboy. I see him on the weekends and on some occasions on Friday  stay over into Saturday.  I have another potential that I will see what happens with Natasha.   Under consideration for a 24 7 live in domestic slave position.    I do have a few play partners that I do see as submissive on occasion.    Now in the past had a collared masochist.. He was amazing, and I do miss him. I have had a sissy collared. And I have had one who signed a contract with me 6 yrs sgo.ago.. That actually turned out to not work and had to have his collar removed. Due to topping from the bottom, as well as found out he was into illegal activities that are not tolerated.  Plus his attitude showed that he was totally unworthy.     

Appears i am a permanent chastity sub/slave.  Locked 842 days as of 01/20/22.   As the sub, it’s a turn-off to see a sub-cumin during play.   While important both enjoy the scene, it’s all about the pleasure of the Dom.   An exception to “enjoy” is a discipline      The scene is about Dom’s pleasure and the sub should focus on them.  

March 13th 2023 - football player tells me this was his most powerful orgasm ever I'm going to tell you the ending of the story before I even start the story. In fact the title has already told you the ending. Football player tells me this was the most powerful and extreme orgasm he's ever had in his life. So here is what happened. He came over and as usual showed himself through the garage and came into the house through the garage door. He said, "hello, how have things been" and was being cordial as he stripped naked without me needing to say a word. As usual he already had a hard on. In case you're a new reader, he's not an actual football player, but he has the build of a football player. Big broad shoulders. Beefy thighs. Strong muscular arms. He's got a nice beard and mustache that is always nicely trimmed. The hair on his head is cut short and always looks great. And he shaves all his pubes. He's wonderfully smooth everywhere. Sometimes he drops to his knees, if I tell him to, and sucks my cock. But I'll be honest with my readers, my doctor started me on a new medicine and things aren't working downstairs right now until my body gets used to the new medicine. But that doesn't stop me from having fun, and clearly didn't stop him from having the best orgasm in his life. So we headed straight downstairs and he jumped up into the sling. He's been in the sling enough times he didn't have to ask any questions. He just hopped up and threw his legs in the air so I could attach them to the loops around his ankles. Sometimes I put a blindfold on him, but not today. I wanted him to watch in the mirror above us. And I noticed instantly his eyes were staring into the mirror. He likes the smooth feeling of a rubber glove on my hand as I assault his hole, and I was watching his eyes look into the mirror as I put the gloves on my hands and put lube on my fingers. His hands were holding onto the chains near his head that hold the upper side of the sling in the air. He was gripping The chains rather tight today, this just made his biceps bulge even more. Mmmmmmmmm. As soon as I was gloved and lubricated I instantly started with a finger up his ass. It slid in with absolutely no difficulty. With that one finger I pushed in deep and rotated back and forth then pushed a little deeper and found his prostate and started to play with it. He was still watching in the mirror as he let a moan slip out of his lips. Soon I had two fingers in his ass. Spinning them around. Twisting and shoving. I applied some more lube. I had mixed up some powdered J-lube. I mentioned to him that we were using a new type of lube today. He corrected me and said, "I remember that stuff, it's very slippery." My bad, I don't remember using it with him before but we must have. I quickly worked in four fingers coating my hand and his ass with J-lube. I twisted back and forth. I wanted to get my fist in him today if possible. I was on a mission. I kept working my fingers into his ass, twisting around stretching him more and more. His cock was so fucking hard it was incredible. Read the REST of the story at http://www.SirKel.top

i have been going through hell for the past week. Yesterday was finally here and gone. Yeah, for that and thensome. i am so drained from the 15 hours of work put in for the day, cleaning the house, laundry and making 3 sets of beds from washing all the bedding (pillows, blankets, and sheets). Then this morning i got sick while sleeping and woke to it.... yes one can get sick and sleep through it. i was so dead tired that i woke sometime afterwards, so then i had to wash the bedding of mine, all over again........minus the pillows.  Good thing ijust had a duvet cover on my bed as a blanket, so no heavy comforter was needing washing again... phew. Now, i lay in bed, with a xour tummy i just fed screambled eggs and cheese. ..... Now that i think about it...... i wonder if my tooth pain is making me feel this way? those eggs were soooooooooooooo good the doggo's wanted them too, they were at me heels trying to get anytihng that would fall into my lap. lol Thank goodness for Friday. Now, Saturday is the next day from Hell.

What's odd to me are the lack of guys who drive,vhave a car, want to go to fetish clubs to be played with who are are submissive NOT submission fetishishists and NOT kink dispenser chasers. A submissive wants to please me first A submissive knows if I am giving time and play energy he gives his time and energy to please me, therefore we are both giving. A fetish dispenser chaser is in gimme mode.  A submissive guy who's first topics are not kink and has experience in a Dominant Woman/submissive man relationship with kink mixed in. Frustrating that I feel the need to spell this out after I was asked what a FLR was. <--- yup not experienced guy asking, bye bye.

  I just reread my last journal and have to laugh, thinking I wrote that less than 3 weeks ago, with no fucking idea what was coming.  Shit does indeed happen.  So to be clear, this has absolutely no connection to my previous hospital stay.  But a week after I got out and wrote my previous journal entry, I felt some tenderness in my neck, and upon feeling around, I felt a lump.  So I went to the VA hospital emergency room, and one cat scan, scope down my throat, pet scan and biopsy later, I have cancer.  A really bad kind of cancer.  Head and neck squamous cell carcinoma.  I still haven't discussed treatment options and my chances of survivng this with my doctors, but I've done extensive reading online.  I've read medical journals, results of clinical trials, and it looks like a horror story.  The treatment is invasive, horribly painful, destructive, and the cancer keeps coming back.  Often within months.  My chances of surviving 5 years are 50%, and my quality of life for those 5 years isn't going to be wonderful.   And suddenly, BDSM, being a slave, my wants and needs, all seem a lot less important.  Like not at all.  What seems important is not wanting to face this alone.  Oh, I have lots of friends.  But no family within 2000 miles.  I live alone. What I need now, is a friend, a care giver.  Someone who is willing to relocate and be here 24 7 and help me get through this.  What do you get out of this?  Free room and board, and the VA will pay you a caregiver stipend.  And I live in a nice house in a nice area.  If I don't make it, I will make sure you receive a final bonus in my will.  If I do, we can discuss that.  All of this is negotiable.  I want this to be a woman into BDSM even though there wont be any BDSM happening because of my health because I at least want to be able to be open about who I am and have her be a kindred soul.  And if I don't make it, I need her to sanitize the house so my kids don't find anything to let them know I was into this.  Contact me if you are interested.  I will require a full background check.  Some medical background would be nice, but not necessary.  I will expect you to get CPR and first aid certified if you are not already.  If you are interested, let's talk  

Even at my age, I seem to be surrounded by players. One would think maturity might thin the herd, but no—apparently nonsense has no age limit. Be it any website, platform, or so-called “community,” they’re all there, lined up confidently with impressive titles and very little substance. Everyone is a “Master” now. Capital M, of course. Profiles full of rules, expectations, and declarations of authority, yet curiously light on patience, consistency, or basic courtesy. It’s rather like browsing for a decent cup of tea and being offered only energy drinks. Loud, stimulating, and ultimately unsatisfying. What I notice most is the hurry. The rush to claim ownership, demand obedience, or shortcut trust. It’s all very enthusiastic, but enthusiasm without discipline is just noise. A proper Master, I’ve learned, doesn’t need to announce himself repeatedly. He shows up, stays present, and understands that submission isn’t collected like badges. There’s also a particular type who mistakes control for confidence and silence for depth. They talk endlessly about what they want, rarely about what they can hold. When questions arise—real ones about boundaries, stability, or responsibility—they tend to vanish faster than manners at a buffet. Still, I find myself more amused than discouraged. Experience has sharpened my eye. I know the difference between someone performing a role and someone capable of carrying one. If that means more waiting and fewer conversations worth having, so be it. I’d rather be selective than entertained. So I continue looking, calmly, with standards intact and expectations realistic. The players can keep playing. I’m not here for a game—I’m here for something that lasts, and I’m quite content to wait for it, tea in hand

I'm a loving caring Domme seeking her sub for ltr.   You: available, devoted, educated, professional, well-off, well-rounded, Caucasian, attractive, publicly alpha, privately submissive, faithful, non-sissy, cuckold (non-negotiable). Need cuckoldress to pamper, obey, serve, worship, support, suffer for emotionally and physically. Ideal Situation: long-term relationship leading to marriage in TPE/Cuckold situation where cuckold is subjected to long-term sexual denial and chastity, reduced to slave-husband status in permanent service to me. You have to earn the status of husband before being a slave. I am not a slave master. Me: Petite 5'3" 120 lb sexy curves, African American Dom, the boss, business owner, attractive, caring considerate person but to my cuckold husband, I will keep always wanting more and begging to please me. Must be good looking, in shape and health conscious. I am all 3 of those so you must be too. I'm self employed and the boss. I live in New Jersey and I'm not looking nor will entertain long distance relationships. Must be in the NJ, Philly, or DE .  I'm willing to do some variations of the above in the way of physical appearance.  Although if you're extremely over weight or unhealthy, I'm not interested.  I dedicate a lot of time to keeping myself in shape and eating healthy foods.     I really want a person that I care about who needs to be dominated more than I need someone to treat cruelly just for the sake of being mean.  I prefer you be over 40, mature, health conscious, as I really want someone in great shape but at least be healthy and HWP.  The more successful you are, the more I want to dominate you. When you respond let me know about you, your past experiences or anything that's significant.  Messages with pics will be answered first, if I choose to answer at all.  One liners or "how may I serve you" will be erased.  hotwife, domme, poly, cuckold, cuckoldress, hot wife, domination

February 27, 2024   I fucked Football Player boy raw for the first time !   It feels like forever since football player boy has visited. But during the last time he visited, at the end of our visit during debriefing, I asked him a question. I made it more of a statement, but it was a question.   I told him, "I really want to fuck you raw one of these days." He thought for a moment and said, "I'm not saying yes, but I'm definitely not saying no."   Today when he texted, he said that he wanted to have try to have two orgasms during our visit. Then he continued and said, "I was hoping that you and that machine could be used during that."   He normally would just request the fuck machine, or the sling, or cock torture... But this time he specifically said, "YOU and that machine."   I really wasn't sure which "that machine" he was talking about but I didn't care. I concentrated on the "you."   I took this as a green light!   10 years ago when we first met on Craigslist M4M, he was just looking for someone to peg him with a dildo. He always wanted blindfolded. At the beginning, if I even cleared my throat with a masculine cough he would lose his hardon.   Eventually he began sucking cock. Then he learned to swallow my cum. Then he let me fuck him with a condom. Today is the next milestone.   When he arrived he came through the garage, gave his normal cheery salutations and immediately began to strip exposing his hard on. I swear he must arrive hard in the driveway.   I was sitting in my chair naked except for a white jockstrap. I was planning on keeping the jock strap on the entire time because I had plans with the dirty jockstrap a few days later. I was going to use it as a mask over ball beating boys face when he came for his next visit.   I spread my legs a bit, which gave him the invitation to get on his knees and start sucking my cock. Which of course he immediately did. Today was a good day, my cock was throbbing hard. As I always do, I look down at his broad shoulders and big chest which is quite a turn on for me as he sucking my cock.   Occasionally he would look up at me. Sometimes I feel that he has puppy dog eyes. Sad and Wanting eyes. Fuck it's hot. But I don't know if he's looking up at me for confirmation he's doing a good job, or if he is checking to see if I'm taking pictures.   He sucked my cock for quite a while then I said let's head downstairs to the sling.   READ THE FULL STORY AT www.SirKel.top/?collarspace

Why I Use Copy & Paste for My Intro Messages on FetLife (And No, It’s Not Because I’m Lazy... Mostly) Alright, let’s talk about the elephant in the chatroom: yes, I use a copy-and-paste message when I reach out to people on FetLife. There. I said it. Now before you clutch your pearls or sharpen your pitchfork, let me explain. As a man on this site, I’ve learned a hard truth—we don’t exactly have inboxes overflowing with attention. I log in, check my messages, and... crickets. Meanwhile, women on here need a personal assistant just to scroll through the "Hi sexy" DMs they get in an hour. I’m over here sending out introductions like I’m applying for internships in the kink community. Let’s be real: the ratio of men to women on this site isn’t fair. I’m not bitter, but if FetLife was a nightclub, the dudes would be forming a line out the door while the ladies are getting free drinks and VIP bracelets just for showing up. So, rather than write a brand new, handcrafted message every single time—like I’m writing a love letter to Juliet—I decided to work smarter. Enter: my trusty, respectful, and not-creepy copy-and-paste message. It’s polite, genuine, and has better grammar than most Craigslist ads. I took the time to make it sound like me (charming and slightly awkward), and then I saved it—because ain’t nobody got time to rewrite it 30 times a week. If someone replies? Awesome. Now we’re in business, and I switch to actual conversation mode like a decent human. Is it a little formulaic? Sure. But it’s not cold or robotic. It’s just my way of getting in the door without burning out or typing until my fingers fall off. It’s like using the same pickup line at a bar—it might be recycled, but if it makes you smile and we start vibing, who cares?   Bottom line: I use copy and paste because it’s efficient, not because I don’t care. Trust me, if I’m messaging you, I’ve read your profile and think there’s potential. I just don’t think you need a custom sonnet to say, “Hi, I liked your vibe and would love to chat.”

Today, I’m open to something a bit more direct. A few of you may have the opportunity to speak with me on the phone. Understand this clearly, this is not casual conversation, and it’s not open access. If you approach, you do so with intention. The rules: You request—never assume.You ask for the opportunity. You don’t demand it, hint at it, or try to casually slide into it. You introduce yourself properly.Name, location, and what you’re seeking clearly and without filler. You respect my time.Be available, be prepared, and be concise. I’m not here for rambling or nervous energy. You maintain composure.No over-talking. No interrupting. You listen as much as you speak. You understand this is a privilege, not a right.Not everyone will be chosen. Most won’t. This is about presence. How you approach me before the call tells me everything I need to know about how you’ll carry yourself during it. Choose your words carefully. — Mistress Nikki Vixen

  Profile update with a journal entry vibe.    I have been hesitant to give a profile update because I don't know. I am still figuring it out. I'm not new, but things change. I still have a lot of the cravings, both for lifestyle and the kink, but I have changed, and so have my cravings. I'm sure, with the right partner, they will continue to change into something different than what they are now. I don't think vanilla will ever be something for me to return to, but the things I value in a BDSM relationship are changing.  I don't really care for the "alpha" chest puffing in the 24/7. Kink, though, that's a different story. I'm also not a slave. I am attracted to wisdom and knowledge, and not the kind that is faked by pretending to know everything, the kind that also isn't afraid to admit he might occasionally be able to learn from his sub, especially if he has found the right match. I want a connection where even if everything else fades, the kink, romance, there are two people who vibe well enough, that at the core of it, there is still a connection and bond of friendship. I still crave a power exchange, don't get me wrong, but I am looking for more of a mentor type relationship dynamic than a master type. I think the closest category that fits might be DDLG, but I admit, I also don't feel quite like little fits.  As I write this, I am coming up on a year of being single. A relationship that started with lifestyle, but no kink, faded into something more like a vanilla friendship, and had a bit of a rocky ending. My point in sharing this, though, is that although I am not new, I spent years in a relationship lacking of kink. My tolerance, both in kink and in 24/7 is low again. My cravings may grow as strong as they once were, one day, but I also feel like I have done a lot of growing up over the years, and I have developed some vanilla cravings. It's no longer healthy for me to give all of myself until it's gone, as one example. These are the things I am still trying to sort out. How the remaining kink and lifestyle cravings fit in with what I no longer want. I am hoping to find someone who aligns with what I am craving at the moment, who wouldn't be afraid to do a little growing, both as a person and as an exploration of kink, but this person is going to need to be someone who is comfortable with boundaries and limits while I figure this out.  For now, this is where I am.  Edit to add 1-1-2026   I am not willing to relocate outside of traveling distance. I am not a person who does well with big changes, so this one is a big boundary. I am not close minded to something long distance, but it would reqire a lot of negotiating and trust. I am past the age where I want to start a family, living with a partner isnt that important, but other things are. So distance isnt a disqualifier, it just takes a lot of communication and some extra work. But I won't relocate. 

December 9,2023 - Coaches first visit       First visit with "The Coach" today. I'm not sure, but I think the Coach is the closest thing to a completely straight guy that I've had visit me in a quite a while.   I seem to attract the bisexual guys who are dominant in their work but desire to be submissive to another male. And I think that was the case today.   Coach and I messaged on FetLife for a while, determining what he wanted and what his limits were. Then we set up a time for his first visit. It was going to be just after he had coached a game, so I was sure he would have a good mix of testosterone and adrenaline for his first visit.   The time wasn't exact since he didn't know when the game would finish. Around the time expected, he messaged me to let me know he was going to be on his way soon. I kicked back and watched some porn until his arrival.   Being his first visit, I met him in the driveway so he knew he had the correct house. I was wearing my long brown hooded bathrobe. His mind was probably already racing wondering what, if anything, that I was wearing under the housecoat.   We came inside and took a seat and instructed him to strip. As we had previously discussed as he stripped each article of clothing off he folded them neatly by his shoes next to the door.   He had a nice physique and I knew we were going to be having some fun. He was wearing a small cock cage. It appeared he was already straining against it. I remembered that I had instructed him to wear the cock cage during the game. I didn't verify if he has followed directions, or had put it on after the game. I walked over to the couch and grabbed two velcro wrist restraints. I grabbed one of his wrists and extended his arm and attached the velcros cuff. Then the other wrist, as I wrapped the velcro restraint making sure both cuffs were secured around his wrists. Then I retrieved a dog collar from the couch and put it around his neck. This at first, but then I loosened it a notch or two so it was fairly loose. I had plans, and wanted it a bit loose, almost comfortable. But I wanted him to remember, while he was here, he was property. A sub for my use.   Although I had warmed the house a bit, as I wrapped my arms around him from behind him and played with his nipples, I felt him quiver. I'm sure it was a combination of fear and anticipation causing him to quiver, not the temperature of the room.   Normally and make notes when someone leaves, but during today's visit I forgot. So my memory might not be 100% accurate on our activities since I'm writing this story over a week later.   Normally at this point, I sit back in my rocking chair and have they guy suck my cock for a while, but I remember that didn't happen today. And honestly, I don't remember why. Either something we had talked about, or something in my mind cause me to change things and we headed straight upstairs.   When we got up to the bedroom stripped the bathroom off. I was completely naked. I laid back on the bed and told him to come over between my legs and suck my cock. Without hesitation he climbed on the bed and latched on to my cock.   Although one part of me thinks that he is 99% straight, good Lord was he a great cocksucker. It makes me wonder if I'm correct or not. But during the conversations on Fetlife, that was the impression I had. But now that his mouth was on my cock, I was questioning my assumption.   I'm not sure what the hell he was doing with his tongue on my cock but it was incredible. Something about the combination of sucking and swirling and licking at the same time was great. In fact, it was too good. It had been a week or so since I had hooked up with someone and this felt so good, I felt that I could orgasm at any moment. So I told him to lick my balls.   Although I enjoy having a guy lick my balls, in this case the main reason I was having him lick my balls was to prevent me from having an orgasm. How sad would it be for him to arrive and not more than 5 or 10 minutes later have an orgasm and send him on his way.   So he licked at my balls for a while as I raised my right leg putting my knee in the air to give him greater access to my balls and taint. He was good at that also, but not as good as his cock sucking skills. Soon using both of my hands on the sides of his head, I lifted him off my balls and lowered him onto my cock again. The feeling was sensational. I just remembered that I kept murmuring, "oh fuck, oh fuck that feels great."   I grabbed his head and started pushing him deeper onto my cock. He gagged which made me chuckle. I think I growled something like, "oh yeah choke on Daddy's cock."   Part of the time I watched him bob up and down on my cock, part of the time I just threw my own head back enjoying the moment. I looked down and could see his cute bubble butt over his shoulders which only made my cock harder. I was planning to fuck that ass before he left tonight.   I wrapped my right leg over his shoulder onto his back. That just pulled him down onto my cock a bit more. With my hands on the back of his head and my right leg over his back I could force him onto my cock until his chin rubbed my balls. He was choking on my cock, completely under my control, completely submissive, doing exactly what I was telling him to do. I was giving him the fantasy that he was wanting.   I remember being quite verbal that day. Repeatedly calling him… daddy's little cocksucker, calling him… a good little fagot, but at the same time rewarding him by telling him what a good job he was doing sucking cock. Each time he choked I would give him a compliment like, "good Boyyyyyyyy" dragging the work out like I was rewarding a family dog. I watched as his head continued to bob up and down on my cock.   He would deep throat my cock until it was all the way in the back of his throat, then he would pull almost completely off and suck hard on just the head of my cock, swirling his tongue around, poking his tongue in my piss slit, then go back to deepthroating and choking again.   But now I had reached my threshold of my orgasm. If I can keep from orgasming past the first 5 or 10 minutes, I'm usually good for an hour. I'm not quite sure what that is, but once I passed that 10 minute mark I'm good for a while. And at this point, I was past my mark.   I started getting a little more rough with him. I reached down and grab the collar and gave it a bit of a twist, tightening it on his neck. Simultaneously I pulled the collar down, pulling him onto my cock. This did a bit of breath control, or breath restriction, while he continued to suck my cock.   I kept the color twisted until his body language was telling me he was at his limit on breath control. So I released the collar and I just laid back on the bed enjoying whatever in the fuck he was doing with his tongue. Oh my God, it was incredible.   I remember him repositioning himself, I think to get up on his elbows a bit. He slid his hands under my legs almost cupping my butt cheeks whereas before they had been on top of my legs, his forearms almost resting on my chest toward my nipples. Now that his upper arms were under my legs, I took the advantage and raised both of my legs onto his back. I crossed my legs locking them and behind his back squeezed his head between my legs.   With my hands, I forced him deep onto my cock. Then I tightened the squeeze of my legs holding him in place. No longer

I was asked why I wouldn't use AI to improve my pictures. (?!) Um... I think the better question is why would I? (Why would anyone?!) I'm not embarrassed by my appearance -- I look the way I look. *shrug* This is me.  With a site like this, in trying to find real connections, isn't it silly to pretend to be something different than what exists in the real world? It's not like AI is going to follow any of us around and alter our appearance 24/7... at least not yet anyway. *laugh* I suppose if a Dominant's appearance is important to you, then I wish you the best in your search, because I'm OG wysiwyg. =D

Devote yourself to serving womanhood Be accommodating to her Respect her authority Be emotionally supportive Be a good friend Do all her domestic chores Buy her things Transfer your wealth into her possession Be grateful to serve her Serving her is like being in Heaven Give to her expecting nothing in return Massage and worship her wholeheartedly Be devoted to her happiness Be meticulously faithful Be attentive to her desires Let her do what she wants Think of her pleasures as sacred Let her enjoy other men as she wishes Her complete satisfaction is your top priority Rejoice in her happiness Respect her decisions Follow her instructions Be amazed at how wonderful she is Revere her as a Queen Kowtow to her everyday Your long term chastity is a blessing for her Worship her as a Goddess Let her know she is your superior Embrace a female advantage lifestyle Accept female superiority as reality Vow eternal allegiance to enacting female supremacy

My story......Back in 2007 I filed for divorce divorce after 20 years of marriage. I got very tired of his narcissistic behaviors. There was one time that I should have called the police on him and I didn't and that's when my ex attempted to choke my oldest child, because she said something under her breath and he heard it. It was Israel also in 2007 that I was introduced to this lifestyle, by a doctor friend of mine. He was the one to train me so to speak and introduce me to it. I am very thankful for him.  in 2009, my divorce was finalized, the day before my 52nd birthday.  I have had many subs and slaves over the years. Mostly part time.  People have asked me why don't I have one now and that is because when I moved to Florida from Connecticut I released my sub/slave.  It's very difficult to find one that is not a "do me" type. I am looking for a very specific type. I am looking for one that will be able to mix vanilla and Ds. I'm also looking for a long term relationship. I'm not looking for a live in, at this time. Please be sure to read the rest of my journal entrie. 

THE COCK SUCKERS CODE   I WILL SWALLOW, unless otherwise instructed. A man's cum deserves as much respect as the man himself. Swallowing reinforces the bond between man and cocksucker. I WILL DEEPTHROAT to the best of my ability, regardless of whether I gag. A well-rounded cocksucker must master the use of his lips, tongue AND throat to maximize a man's pleasure. I WILL NOT USE MY HANDS unless instructed. My mouth is one of my sexual organ. I WILL NOT TOUCH MYSELF when sucking a man's Cock. His pleasure is my own. To suggest otherwise is deeply disrespectful. I WILL NOT EXPECT RECIPROCATION--ever. I WILL MAKE MYSELF AVAILABLE, and service on his terms. A man should never have to jerk himself off when a cocksucker could do the job instead. I WILL CONTINUE TO SERVICE for as long as a man deems appropriate, whether minutes or hours, without complaint. I WILL ALWAYS say Thank You Sir for the privilege of allowing me to suck Your cock and eat out your clean or dirty ass hole, and thank You for Your cum or any other fluid. Tags: (add)

The following stated by another Rubberist summarizes my passion:Those that enjoy full rubber enclosure are into it because It's about being cut off from the outside world and being controlled in bondage, objectification. It also arouses by the feel of hot rubber on the skin, the aroma, the sound and the look.😍Rubber envelopes and controls the senses and combined with bondage and breath control is a total experience 😁I love it.

My thoughts about FLR's I wrote this a few years ago but I feel it’s still relevant… enjoy!—————————-So much said and discussed regarding FLR's. Some argue that it is not based in kink while others offer that it actually has its roots there. I personally believe that it can only roughly be defined… because ultimately… it is whatever the two consenting adults agree on creating together. I will however take a moment to describe what I have imagined a Female led relationship to be. Let's begin by exploring some contrasts with what is... What is a Male led relationship? Is it kinky by definition? I would imagine it to be the classic default idea of a bread winning husband and a wife who takes on more of the domestic duties. While kink really isn't involved in defining it… the assumption might be that the man's sexual needs get met with priority while hers are not. He is above criticism but she is not? Mix in our cultures unfortunate dance with masculine toxicity and I see why more and more Women are just plain fed up with the traditional relationship model. The goal to achieve equality often ends up seeming a pipe dream. When I imagine a FLR i begin by flipping the script on the classic model.So perhaps She's the bread winner now…? and Her desires take priority?Regardless of income comparisons, the chores still need doing in the house so I naturally see the male stepping up and taking on the domestic roles before and after work. And much like how a male expects to be "served" as the head of house, I see the Female instead getting to make Her needs, comfort and well being the first priority. But rather than asking for beer and sandwiches during a football game… I would imagine a Woman's requests to be more… well… feminine in nature. Intimacy building, sensual, communicative, nurturing and based more in the areas important to Her such as personal, domestic and emotional fulfillment. Ahhh but macho men don't go there right? lol Perhaps this is why D/s is so much more commonly associated with the idea of a Female Led Relationship…? using Femdom to establish Her new authority and to lay the foundations of the power dynamics within the relationship. YES, many men are clueless when it comes to being more balanced, more self aware, more selfless and more supportive of the Goddess in their lives. They grew up with the Patriarchy programming and only through months or even years of self introspection, re-education and re-balancing will they at last come to understand and access the Authentic expression of the Divine Masculine within them. It is so worth it but why oh why so rare in this day and age? You can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink is the saying that comes to mind when I imagine a vanilla version of a FLR. Perhaps D/s IS the most effective accelerant to what would be an otherwise painfully slow conversion process full of power struggles? One element of kink that is definitely penetrating into more of the vanilla ranks is of course male chastity. This idea of harnessing the power of an otherwise out of control fire hose for bettering both himself and your intimate relationship is not surprising to see rise in popularity. Ensnared by his own kinky imagination, the chastity offers both initial enticement for him but also a far more tangible tool of enforcement for Her. This leverage She gains can then be used to establish a full and new domestic life balance between the two… while he begins to understand and witness the positive effect his attention and efforts to please have upon Her, Her beauty, their connection and his own personal awakening. Now add in more and more kinks… BDSM, Cuckolding, Hotwife etc and to me you are just adding more toppings at the salad bar. The foundation of the FLR is laid out simply as the salad and the dressing… She is on top, she is leading the relationship direction and he is supporting Her efforts… hopefully quite willingly. If not then perhaps some croutons and deviled eggs are necessary as well? Maybe both enjoy a full on power dynamic 24/7 and act accordingly? The sky is the limit after that. So yes, in my humble opinion… whatever they both create it to be… from the salad dressing on, is what I imagine a FLR to ultimately be. Thoughts?

Someone male on the other kink site was talking about dating as a market, and when the "dick is plentiful" comment came up as a point of why it doesn't "sell" he got a bit butthurt.  When someone else tried to point out that dicks are generally attatched to men, and so the problem wasn't the dicks but the men they are attatched to, the quality of which vary a lot, he said "In general, a shirt is not necessarily better than another shirt"Which granted, is absolutely in my wheelhouse to respond to with an informed opinion, so this was my comment.   "Actually, as someone with an education in fashion merchandising/design, and as a costumer, I can say that is not at all accurate. Quality is an easily defined set of properties, such as the tye of materials used, workmanship, colorfastness of dye, functionality of design, etc and varies HUGELY from one shirt to the next. Which is why a shirt from the dollar store may be good enough for a few months, but may soon start to pull apart at the seams, or fade, or wear through, or shrink and become misshapen, etc. whereas a shirt that looks similar from a better manufacturer may last for years and still look fine. I have several shirts my Dad wore for years before he died, which I have now worn as an overshirt for gardening, etc for the two decades since.  I have also bought similar looking shirts new at Walmart and they fell apart within a couple years.   Quality matters. Being an educated consumer matters. Learning to recognize quality, and what to look for before you purchase is the difference between having to replace said shirts frequently, vs keeping something you like for as long as you want it, and possibly even passing it on if you no longer need it.   The same can be said for partners.  So it's important to understand what quality is in people, as well as shirts, and learn how to spot it and the lack of it, and learn to take your time shopping to avoid buyer's remorse. Or even debt and bad contracts...   "Maybe there are fuckbois who one can easily replace if that's what your view of men on average is." Exactly. There are fuckbois, and posers, and trash toys, and upstanding quality men. There are men who do the work to become better, to do the right thing, to play fair and self-manage, etc, and men that just wanna get dat dick wet. There are pretty people, plain people,  low quality people, high quality people, people who are pretty and cheap, people who are less pretty but quality, and vice versa.  You either learn to appreciate quality over superficial properties, or you bounce from crap to crap to crap, always wondering why nothing is ever as good as it looks and everything starts SO nice but never lasts.   As to what market? Dating is advertizing, more than anything.  You have what you have, and they have what they have, and you have to figure out what you want, and how to trade what you have for what you want. Fortunately, you can add to what you have in lots of ways, if what you want is out of reach at a given time. Learn new skills - dancing cooking, massage, etc. Dress better, spiff your appearance. Read books on relationships. Hit the gym. But you have to find out what THEY want, figure out if you can provide it (or are willing to lie about it, as many do) and then learn to explain how what you have will provide what they want.   As someone once said - you don't sell shovels, you sell holes.  "A customer’s ultimate goal is not a product but a change and improvement to their life. "   A man should not try to sell his dick to a woman.  Dicks are EVERYWHERE.  There are literally stores full of dicks that don't even require another person.  No matter how amazing a guy's dick is, I can go buy one better, and not have to bother with having a guy and what he wants attatched.   So, what a man needs to sell is *orgasms*.  And if he wants to be more than just a one-off, he needs to sell the aweome fun before and after the sex.  A submissive man needs to sell how he will make a Domme's life easier and more comfortable. A Dominant man needs to sell how safe and valued his sub will feel.   Sell the value point - how having whatever you are selling will improve the potential buyer's experience. Will is lessen the workload? Provide pleasure?    Increase security? Create comfort? Ease pain? Improve something they already enjoy?    THOSE are what need to be in someone's profile and first emails if they want to find their "market share" and get what they want here.

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