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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Pan Female Submissive, 32,  Cheshire, United Kingdom
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Friends:
KellytvEverlastTrojanSteelmetalmissericstanton
RavenMusebeautyImurDaddyIncubimrdawsShepard
seriacexKittyxVolcanicSparksbreastbondermetztlisdesires
HardassswtsKiltedJamieLondonpuppyViskan
OldWolfUktworopeBondageGothdkleatheraccipiter1978
T5TartConsiderateDom24puppycrashDarkpetlittleladyvillen
Topthoughts1

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Username:

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City:

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Age:

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 sweetsens8on

 Submissive Female

 Cheshire 

 United Kingdom

 5' 5"

 32

 Pan

 Caucasian

 10/02/04

 12/10/11

 Lives For:

 Corsets

 Electrical Play

 Local BDSM Community

 Hair Pulling

 Knife Play

 Mental Bondage

 Needle Play

 Wax play

 Loves:

 Beachcombing

 Shopping

 Travel

 Dancing

 Horseback Riding

 Anal Play

 Blindfolds

 Body Worship

 Bondage

 Breast Play

 Cages

 Canes and Crops

 Chastity

 Collars

 Fire Play

 Gags

 Leashes

 Massage (Getting)

 Massage (Giving)

 Munches

 Obedience Training

 Orgasm Denial

 Sensory Deprivation

 Spanking

 Strap-Ons

 Vibrators

 Whips

 Horror Movies

 Vampirism

 Punk Rock Music

 Rock Music

 Likes:

 Amusement Parks

 Art Galleries

 Bar Hopping

 Clubbing

 Fine Dining

 Flea Markets

 Movies

 Museums

 Martial Arts

 Begging

 Exhibitionism

 Eye Contact Restrictions

 Fisting

 Humiliation

 Masks (On Partner)

 Medical Play

 Outdoor Bondage

 Public Play

 Role Playing

 Shibari

 Speech Restrictions

 Stockings

 Uniforms

 Newspapers

 Online Chatrooms

 Aromatherapy

 Body Art

 Photography

 Tattoos

 Blogging

 Alternative Music

 Classical Music

 Heavy Metal Music

 Hip Hop Music

 Industrial Music

 Nineties Music

 Oldies

 R&B

 Seventies Music

 Auto Racing

 Paintball

 Tolerates:

 Corner Time

 Hoods

 Masks (Wearing)

 Plastic Wrap

 Tickling

 Gorean Lifestyle

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Old Guard

 Pop Music

 Curious About:

 Hypnosis

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Polyamory

 Swinging

 Dislikes:

 Serving as a Maid

 Suspension

 Hard Limits:

 Diapers

 Cybering

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Journal Entries:
8/13/2009 10:04:12 AM

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me


7/31/2008 11:44:49 AM

so saturaday is kinkfest and i am in london !!! been ages since i was down there and i am looking forward to seeing ppl i haven't in some time

i realise this isn't exciting for most ppl but for me it is

i can't wait!!!!!


7/1/2008 2:51:38 AM

sometimes anothers words say things in a far more ordered way than i can get to come out of my own head ...this isn't mine but its me in many ways...




There are days where I am so close to breaking.
There are days when I ignore what I have going on inside myself in order to keep hold of the reins.
There are days when those reins slip out of my hands completely and I flail like a mad woman to get them back, to get control... any type of control.



Sometimes, I even allow myself to cry for a bit, but never for too long. A few tears, and then it's back to business. Push it down, deeper, no... deeper than that, because someone will say something today... And if I didn't push it all the way down, then it will pop back up like a balloon under water and then I'm exposed. Once exposed, I run the risk of opening up and allowing someone to get a glimpse of what's really inside me and as soon as they latch on to that and attempt to delve deeper, then I'm done for. I'm open and spread out on the table. I'm vulnerable... and that is a risk I cannot take. At times, I see something in someone that makes me want to beg them to unlock me and find the secrets inside, to help me actually feel what's going on and to help me through it. I don't think I can do it by myself. God knows I've tried. Still, I attempt to do so.


I am my own Dominant. I am my own submissive. I submit to myself because I am the only on who will fully understand. I submit to myself because I am the only one I can trust with myself. I am the only one who understands me.

Don't get me wrong, some have tried to unlock those doors inside me, but Christ, they are locked 10 times over. Some get through one or two doors and although I continue to slam them in their face, I'm on the other side, quietly begging and crying for them to try harder and screw the locks, just kick them in and be strong enough to open them up, and open me up... and take everything that I am and everything that I have ever been, or will ever be.



And then they never come. It's my fault, after all, I scream and curse and shove them back. Still, I won out in the end. ...but I didn't really win. I'm in the same situation I was before, belonging only to myself. So here comes the 'balloon under water' thing again. Push it down REALLY deep this time. Don't even think about it.


Live your life and laugh, have fun.
Make yourself unattainable.
Keep them back.
Don't allow anyone too close.
God forbid they get inside.
Stupid fucking struggle.


8/10/2006 1:18:43 AM
i never blogged here before but i find myself exasperated with so called lifestylers who think that hiding behind the term makes them better than other ppl.I actually feel sorry for genuine ppl when the HNG's are picking up terms n phrases and using them as a guide.

BDSM is a choice -living my life this way is a choice-its not a cult there isn't a right or wrong way only personal needs. I don't want to conform-why live by the standards of ppl i don't even know. i don't pretend to be super subbie i am what i am ...i am a player(ha ha not in online sense) i attend clubs and munches. I am not deeply private i don't hide what i do or enjoy. I am a rope bunni ...a knife whore...and i am owned by me until such times as someone who is strong enough to prove they are capable of knowing themselves and who has enough indepence and security in what they KNOW they are that they don't need another person to complete them.

The most attractive thing in the world is to be wanted by someone who doesn't need and then needed by them as submission grows and developes.

If you can't handle that ...don't mail me-its that simple.


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