Following some interesting conversations I've had recently a few question have come to my mind

@doms, have you ever loaned your sub/slave to a friend or family? If so, why?

Is there such a thing as a sub/slave parade (where owned subs/slaves can be displayed and possibly used)?

We have been braze and the dice is cast!

Beginning Again

I have been thinking a lot about submission.

I know that I want it. I know that there is a part of me that longs to serve, to give, to surrender, and to discover just how far my submission can go. There is a part of me that wants to be the woman who can trust deeply enough to let go and find out what happens when she stops holding everything so tightly.

But last night made something very clear to me.

I am not ready to begin there.

It has been years since I truly served, and somewhere along the way, the trust I once had was lost. I can feel the difference now. I want to submit, but wanting submission and being able to safely surrender are not the same thing.

My instinct when I don't trust is to run.

And if I try to force myself into submission before rebuilding that trust, I know what will happen. I will become frightened. I will question everything. I will pull away. Eventually, I will probably run—not because I don't want this, but because I tried to move faster than my trust could handle.

So I need to start over.

Not from failure.

From the beginning.

I need to learn that I can trust my Master again. I need to see consistency. I need to know that when I speak, I am heard. That when I say no, it means something. That when I become afraid, I don't have to disappear. That I can be vulnerable without being punished for it.

I need to experience, over and over again, that giving a little control does not mean losing myself.

Maybe that is where my submission begins this time—not with obedience, rules, or pushing my limits.

Maybe it begins with trust.

One small choice at a time.

One moment where I choose to stay instead of run.

One moment where I allow myself to be vulnerable.

One moment where I give a little and discover that I am still safe.

I don't need to prove how submissive I can be.

I don't need to see how far I can go right now.

Eventually, I still want to know.

I want to become that girl who can look at her Master and think, I trust you enough to find out.

But I want that trust to be real.

I want my submission to be something I give freely because I know who I am giving it to.

So I'm giving myself permission to begin again.

Slowly.

Patiently.

Honestly.

I will build the foundation before I try to climb.

And maybe someday, when the foundation is strong enough, I won't feel the need to run anymore.

Maybe then I will finally be able to discover just how far my submission can take me.

But for now, I have somewhere much more important to go first:

I need to learn how to trust again.

I'm now in Cambodia.. Siam reap.. or temple town as it's sometimes called.

Next stop, the USA 

Is anyone else unable to attach photos to their mail or is it just happening to my account?

The Accidental Naked Chef

Years ago, I invited a woman over for dinner. Somewhere along the way, I jokingly suggested that I should cook naked.

She thought that was a fantastic idea.

So I did.

What I hadn't anticipated was that this would somehow become a recurring tradition. A couple of dinners turned into naked games, teasing, and a running joke about how many “rounds” we'd eventually make it through.

Eventually life got in the way, and the tradition disappeared.

Now I've got a newly remodeled kitchen, a much better kitchen setup, and a growing suspicion that perhaps the naked chef deserves a comeback.

What's the strangest innocent idea that unexpectedly became a recurring part of your sex life?

I've spent a lot of my life living abroad, and I generally prefer it to living in Canada.  I'm here to finish my career, needing to put in 15 years for a full pension.  I've done a bit of dating, but it's been a bit of a nightmare.  Anyone I meet in my own age range seems to be single for a reason.  My plan is to focus on work, spend a bit of time looking online here, and then moving on if I don't find anything suitable.  I don't mind being on my own.  I have very intense sexual dreams (one of my favourite parts of being me), which satisfy a lot of my needs and desires.  The occasional massage with release is all I need for now.

It's amazing to me that some male "Dominants" talk to female submissives like they are menatlly handicapped children, never mind asking inappropriate questions of a complete stranger.