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Male Dominant, 46
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Male Submissive, 32, san francisco, California
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Male Dominant, 52, Yuba City, California
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About KnightRaven
I will be using this space to explain what my views on the lifestyle are.
What is a Dominant?
A Dominant person is one who takes a position of authority and responsibility over the ones that submit to them. They cannot have the authority without the responsibility, in fact a good Dominant revels in the responsibility as well as taking advantage in the authority given them. A Dominant is also a facilitator, they provide an environment for the submissive to be themselves and a reality check to keep the submissive within the realm of sanity/safety.
What is a submissive?
a submissive person seeks to embody the exact polar opposite of selfishness in a way that is both personal and responsible. This is by no means altruism, that is not personal or in most cases responsible. The submissive seeks to give of themsleves to the people who are close to them. To enrich those people's lives in whatever way they can. A good submissive will pace themselves, knowing that to truly help requires time, which they will not be able to provide if they burn themselves out. A good submissive also understands that they cannot truly give up making decisions in their life, as they must make the choice whether or not to submit to the demands made of them on a daily/constant basis. I despair at the number of profiles I have seen that say that they wish to give up all choice and make no decisions, that is not only impossible in the latter and in most cases illegal in the former.
What I see as my role as a Dominant:
I see myself as a Guide, a trainer and consultant. I do not posses the mentality or desire to micromanage my own day-to-day activities let alone that of another person. I concern myself with the bigger picture. I seek to shape and mould the submissive into a better person both within the lifestyle and without it. Investing my time, effort, and patience to increase the worth of the submissive so as to reap increasing rewards as time goes by.
I've placed my views on more specific topics within the journal section.
DISCLAIMER:
I am not looking to own anyone at this point in time. I am in the market for casual play partners, trainees, and general conversation regarding play and the lifestyle in general. |
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My views of the various D/s dynamics that do not involve ownership:
Trainer/Trainee: This is an almost purely physical dynamic that takes the concept of casual play partners a step further. Mostly involving someone who is very new to the lifestyle or who wishes to broaden their knowledge of it while in between more complete relationships, or even possibly with the consent of their current owner who, for whatever reason, is unable to do so themselves. In my mind this dynamic does not allow exclusivity, and is strictly limited to the actions/fetishes being explored.
Protector/Protectee: This is the flip side of the Trainer. This dynamic is restricted to the emotional/psychological aspects of the lifestyle. Usually undertaken by friends, the most common reason for entering this dynamic is so that the protector can filter away the unsafe and undesirable from taking advantage of the protectee. The reason I say that this is usually only undertaken by friends is that there is little to no clear benefit to the protector in entering this dynamic. The main ones I can think of are the altruistic desire to see the community grow by shepherding those that are new away from damaging situation that could cause them to leave the lifestyle altogether and the in-your-face power trip of being able to tell would-be dominants that they do not pass muster.
Mentorship: This is the most inclusive of the dynamics, usually used as a trial period prior to an actual ownership. It combines both of the above dynamics and differs from actual ownership only in that there is usually more limits placed, so that the submissive will have something special to offer the one they do choose as master.
Of special note, in none of the above dynamics is there a requirement for sexual activity/intercourse between the two parties. While it is not restricted, many submissives prefer to save such activities for the one whose ownership they accept. |
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On the subject of My Fetishes:
I only truly have three fetishes. One of them has such broad ranging applications that it has led me to engage in a large variety of other types of fetishes only to relish in its usage. That is of course Power Exchange. This in my mind is using the fetishes of the submissive along with the bdsm techniques and my own knowledge of psychology to bring about physical and emotional responses from the submissive, often beyond their conscious ability to control. This is a heady draught for me, and can at times be purely nonsexual in nature. I have even found myself using simple conversation as an outlet, painting pictures in the mind that alternately confuse, arouse, horrify, etc. Whatever will bring about an apparent reaction that is beyond the norm for that person, while still remaining within their toleration for such subjects.
The second is for Ownership. The possesion of valuable submissives is something that cannot be described. Not only is there the boost to my own ego/prestige, there is the fact that such valuable submissives are available for my personal use. I have came to discover that I am unusual in one respect to this common and admittedly typically Male desire, I have no jealousy. I do not require exclusivity from my submissives, only priority. I do not care what, or how many, relationships the sub has so long as they do not interfere with their training or my orders.
The third one is perhaps the only true fetish I have as it is technically defined. That is Anal Play. I could not tell you why it effects me as it does, but it is truly the most enjoyable act for me on a purely sexual basis. |
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On the subject of dependancy(sp?):
I prefer a more independant submissive. In my mind, a sub who has no real need of a dominant in their life to fully function is of much greater value than one who requires intervention. My ideal submissive is one who is only bound to me by their desire and respect, nothing else. Call it an ego trip if you will, but I like to know that it is my own personal worth that holds the sub to me rather than my position as their dominant. Also, a more independant submissive is simpler to maintain, freeing up more time to indulge in the aspects of the relationship that are truly entertaining. |
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On the subject of toilet play:
I am very against every form of this as unsanitary and against the ideal form of submissive that I wish to create, save one. That is the act of marking. The beastial act of claiming territory. When done in this fashion and desired by the submissive, this form of watersport is neither humiliating nor is it truly degrading. It reinforces the mentality of the Alpha dominant in a D/s dynamic that values the primal/visceral instincts over the more intellectual varieties. As ingestion is not required for this, the act can be done with an agreeable level of sanitation and is more of a ceremony than a fetish. |
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On the subject of Humiliation/Degradation:
This is a bit of a mixed subject for me. On the one hand I am against breaking down the self-esteem of my partners, but on the other hand some of the training necessary to fully bring to mind the submissive mentality can be humiliating and/or degrading to the submissive. So, as I would like to say that I am against all acts that would lower the self value of the submissive, I find that I realistically can not do so.
I have since had to break it down into specific acts of humiliation/degradation that I will not engage in. Name calling for the purpose of humiliation, as opposed to dirty talk or pet names. Public humiliation, is pretty much off limits for me with the exception of within the limits of a fetish oriented gathering. Treating or referring to the submissive as anything other than a human, with the exception of specific, time limited roleplays. Blackmail is completely out of question, even in play situations. Begging, collar and leash, forced exhibitionism, and discreet public play are OK so long as they do not constitute public humiliation as described above.
If I have left anything out that you are curious with, message me and I will update. |
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On the subject of respect:
I firmly believe that respect should go both ways, both in this lifestyle and without it. I do not hold with some Dominants outward views that subs/slaves are not deserving of respect as they do something that many dominants are emotionally incapable of. Namely the ability to entrust their physical and emotional well being into the hands of another, and the enormous amount of personal courage required of them to take that first step towards developing this trust. This is granted that they are approaching the lifestyle from an emotionally balanced frame of mind and not from a position of self-destruction.
As for the submissives respect for the dominant, I believe that it should stem from an understanding of how difficult and time consuming it can be to manage the well being of another person in addition to ones self and do so in a manner that is fulfilling and engaging to the other person. This is by no means a small feat. Add into that the amount of knowledge required of the submissive, general life skills, as well as psychology and the fetish lifestyle and you end up with a large base of knowledge that is just the basics of being a successful dominant partner. |
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I have deleted all the previous entries as they no longer apply. Especially now that I have seen that some of them were from 7 yrs ago. |
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