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Domlifestyle
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Musicmystery
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Aylee
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IilaStarfire
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soul2share
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dom51
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mastertasker1
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zimmerman1
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MadAxeman
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domblackmale5
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bigmich
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rybo703
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Masterwolf1957
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Death30
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Under construction.....
Want to understand my quirks, personality, and foibles? - See my posts on the message boards.
Want to understand my moods and my thoughts? - See my journal posts.
Want to know more? - Ask.
Things you should know about me: - Peanut Butter toast is my favorite thing to eat - I always run up and down stairs; never walk - I have enough nervous energy to power a small city - I often dance alone, in my bedroom to crazy music - I am as comfortable talking about the political agenda of the Democratic party as I am about who Jennifer Aniston is dating - It is useless to argue rationally or logically with me; it will not work - I am an incredibly clumsy person, yet still wear 3-inch heels as often as possible. - You know that girl you see walking down the streets of Washington, DC rocking out to some song on her iPod? That's probably me. - When I ride the Metro, I always close my eyes and let the air rush over me as it passes.
Here is what I am ideally looking for:
- Someone who would play with me in the rain. -Someone who loves the beach on a cloudy day. - Someone who has his own friends - I don't want to spend every waking moment with you. Seriously. - Someone who sleeps on his side of the bed - I don't cuddle at night for more than a few minutes. I dislike being hot. - Someone who understands my obsession with sports and cars. - Must love animals. - Must understand random movies, Simpsons and Family Guy quotes. - Being able to read and discuss is always a plus. - A sense of humor is appreciated, instead of a humorless droid. I love to laugh, and you should as well. - Someone who can cook. I hate it. - Musical talent is a plus. - Uniforms are hot. Men who wear uniforms and carry firearms and know hand to hand combat are hot. Just sayin'.
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Could I have been wrong when I told you that I'd never let you go In search of a song to sing to you all that I can't say
You made my life feel like it was worth living But you're gone
You kept me honest and You made me try But I had forever in the back of my mind I could deal with the distance I could deal with the lies How could you make me deal with goodbye?
I thought that you got me and you did Yes you did Now I'm alone Gone with a phone call That I wish I never answered
How can two years seem like they never were? And now you're gone
You kept me honest and You made me try But I had forever in the back of my mind I could deal with the distance I could deal with the lies How could you make me deal with goodbye? Feel so lonely inside Wish I could hold you tonight Would you tell me if I'm still on your mind?
You kept me honest and You made me try But I had forever in the back of my mind I could deal with the distance I could deal with the lies But I can't deal without you!
'Cause you kept me honest and You made me try But I had forever in the back of my mind I could deal with the distance I could deal with the lies But I can't deal without you! No I can't deal without you! How could you make me deal with goodbye?
~ The Distance - Jesse Young |
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"I see your face in my mind as I drive away 'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way People are people and sometimes we change our minds But it's killing me to see you go after all this time
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see 'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down Now I don't know what to be without you around
And we know it's never simple, never easy Never a clean break, no one here to save me You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe Without you, but I have to Breathe Without you, but I have to
Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out
And we know it's never simple, never easy Never a clean break, no one here to save me You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe Without you, but I have to Breathe Without you, but I have to
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me
And we know it's never simple, never easy Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh
I can't breathe Without you, but I have to Breathe Without you, but I have to Breathe Without you, but I have to"
~ Breathe - Taylor Swift
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"Standing, here in this moment Watching, tomorrow unfolding So quietly It captures me Takes me back to
An innocence, I barely remember A hopefulness A first time together I'm trembling I'm holding in But you reach right to me You see straight through me
Everything that I thought never would now is happening A brand new horizon is opening I'm hoping we Don't miss this moment You showed me how Life is worth living I have no doubt It's all about giving I'm reaching out Right here right now Don't you see… I'd give you everything
The first step is always the hardest But worth it From the day that we started We've overcome We've joined as one And the stairs are winding But we keep on climbing
Everything that I thought never would now is happening A brand new horizon is opening For you and me Don't you see I'd give you everything"
~ Everything - Rob Blackledge |
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"I'm sorry for everything I've said. And for anything I forgot to say too. When things get so complicated, I stumble, at best, muddle through. I wish that our lives could be simple.
I don't want the world; only you. Oh, I wish I could tell you this face to face But there's never the time...never the place.
Oh, this letter will have to do....
I...."
~ Radames' song - Aida
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You took your coat off and stood in the rain, You're always crazy like that. And I watched from my window, Always felt I was outside looking in on you. You're always the mysterious one with Dark eyes and careless hair, You were fashionably sensitive But too cool to care. You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say Besides some comment on the weather.
Well in case you failed to notice, In case you failed to see, This is my heart bleeding before you, This is me down on my knees, and...
These foolish games are tearing me apart, And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart. You're breaking my heart. You're always brilliant in the morning, Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee. Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you. You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones As I clumsily strummed my guitar. You'd teach me of honest things, Things that were daring, things that were clean. Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean. I hid my soiled hands behind my back. Somewhere along the line, I must've gone Off track with you.
Well, excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else, Somebody who gave a damn, Somebody more like myself.
~ Foolish Games - Jewel
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Remember those walls I built Well, baby they're tumbling down And they didn't even put up a fight They didn't even make up a sound
I found a way to let you in But I never really had a doubt Standing in the light of your halo I got my angel now
It's like I've been awakened Every rule I had you breakin' It's the risk that I'm takin' I ain't never gonna shut you out
Everywhere I'm looking now I'm surrounded by your embrace Baby I can see your halo You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more It's written all over your face Baby I can feel your halo Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo
Hit me like a ray of sun Burning through my darkest night You're the only one that I want Think I'm addicted to your light
I swore I'd never fall again But this don't even feel like falling Gravity can't forget To pull me back to the ground again
Feels like I've been awakened Every rule I had you breakin' The risk that I'm takin' I'm never gonna shut you out
Everywhere I'm looking now I'm surrounded by your embrace Baby I can see your halo You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more It's written all over your face Baby I can feel your halo Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo Halo, halo
Everywhere I'm looking now I'm surrounded by your embrace Baby I can see your halo You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more It's written all over your face Baby I can feel your halo Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo
~ Halo - Beyonce
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I don't know what I'm supposed to say When now suddenly you feel so far away And you're not prepared to talk And if you're now afraid to listen Then I don't want to do this anymore
Oh I don't know which way that I should turn Seems the more we love The more we have to learn And I keep staring into space Like it somehow has the answer So don't let the music end Oh my darling
[Chorus:] Symphony It's gone quiet around us now How I wish you would hold me And that you never told me That it's better if you leave Look at the sun We're starting to lose all of the light Where we once burnt so brightly Tell me we might be Throwing it away
Well you don't know what you've got Until it's gone But then nothing ever hurt like holding on I am scared and unprepared And I feel like I am falling So can you tell me Where did we go wrong?
[Repeat chorus]
If everything is broken Then it's better that we give up And remember how we once had Something beautiful |
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"Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories, they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye Even with our fists held high It never would've worked out right We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out I didn't come here to hold you Now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road Someone's gotta go I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder But I know that you'll find another that doesn't always make you want to cry Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in Perfect couldn't keep this love alive You know that I love you so I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road Someone's gotta go I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone I'm already gone Already gone You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong I'm already gone Already gone There's no moving on So I'm already gone
Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories, they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road Someone's gotta go I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone."
~ Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson |
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"Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile. When I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down"
~ Gravity - Sarah Barailles
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"Mozart was crazy. Flat fucking crazy. Bat shit, I hear.
But his music's not crazy, It's balanced, it's nimble, It's crystalline clear.
There's harmony, logic, You listen to these. You don't hear his doubts, Or his debts or disease.
You scan through the score, And put fingers on keys, And you play. And everything else goes away. Everything else goes away.
And you play 'til it's perfect, You play 'til you ache, You play 'til the strings or your fingernails break.
So you'll rock that recital, And get into Yale. So you won't feel so sick, And you won't look so pale.
'Cause you've got your full ride, And you're early admit. So you're done with this school, And with all of this shit.
And you graduate early, You're gone as of May, And there's nothing your paranoid parents can say.
And you know that it's just a sonata away, And you play, And you play.
And everything else goes away, Everything else goes away. Everything else goes away."
~ Everything Else - Next to Normal
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"Mozart was crazy. Flat fucking crazy. Bad shit, I hear.
But his music's not crazy, It's balanced, it's nimble, It's crystalline clear.
There's harmony, logic, You listen to these. You don't hear his doubts, Or his debts or disease.
You scan through the score, And put fingers on keys, And you play. And everything else goes away. Everything else goes away.
And you play 'til it's perfect, You play 'til you ache, You play 'til the strings or your fingernails break.
So you'll rock that recital, And get into Yale. So you won't feel so sick, And you won't look so pale.
'Cause you've got your full ride, And you're early admit. So you're done with this school, And with all of this shit.
And you graduate early, You're gone as of May, And there's nothing your paranoid parents can say.
And you know that it's just a sonata away, And you play, And you play.
And everything else goes away, Everything else goes away. Everything else goes away."
~ Everything Else - Next to Normal
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"Broken promises But you don't really mind It's not the first time And you know it, don't you know Tell me why it is you only smile inside But when you break me into nothing Don't you know
It's not like I haven't tried Over and over again Stupid fights Wrong or right Goodbye...
I remember when you came with me that night We said forever, that that you would never let me go But here I am again With nothing left inside No I don't wanna but I gotta let you go
You're the one mistake I really didn't mind So beautiful, unmercifully It took me down Too little and too late So now I know your kind You fake it easy, just to please me Don't you know
It's not like we haven't tried Over and over again Sleepless nights wrong or right Goodbye..."
~ Let U Go - Ashley Parker Angel
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"Never knew I could feel like this Like I've never seen the sky before Want to vanish inside your kiss Everyday I love you more and more Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings Telling me to give you everything Seasons may change winter to spring But I love you until the end of time
Come what may, come what may I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high no river too wide Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide But I love you until the end of time
Come what may, come what may I will love you until my dying day Oh come what may, come what may I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...
Come what may, come what may I will love you until my dying day"
~ Come What May - Moulin Rouge
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You are an idiot.
Go away. |
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"But I need you to love me, And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time. And I’ll stop this pretending that I can, Somehow deserve what I already have I need you to love me"
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Last night, I told you that I loved you.....
....What I forgot to say.....
..................was that I didn't mean it. |
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"
I’m not good with words. But that’s nothing new. Still I have to try to explain what I want to do With you… With you.
Run away with me. Let me be your ride out of town. Let me be the place that you hide. We can make our lives on the go. Run away with me. Texas in the summer is cool. We’ll be on the road like Jack Kerouac Looking back, Sam, you’re ready, Let’s go Anywhere. Get the car packed and throw me the key. Run away with me."
~ Run Away With Me |
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"And every day this act we act gets more and more absurd. And all my fears just sit inside me, screaming to be heard. I know they won't, though, not a single word. I was here at her side When she called, when she cried. How could she leave me on my own? Will it work, this cure? There's no way to be sure. But I'm weary to the bone And whenever she goes flying I keep my feet right on the ground. Oh now I need a lift And there's no one around."
~ I've Been - Next to Normal
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Screw you, Pittsburgh.
Goddammit. Time to get drunk.
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Mine is just a slower suicide. |
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"Now I know, he'll appear Cause there are rules and there are strictures I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight My white knight, my knight and his steed Will look just like these pictures! It wont be long now, I guarantee!
Day Number 8423".
~ I know it's Today - Shrek
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"I am more than memory I am what might be I am mystery Come closer Come closer
I am old as time I'm forever young I am every song that will stay unsung I'll find you Remind you
Until you name me you can't tame me This is one old game I can play so well"
~ I'm Alive - Next to Normal
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"The book of love is long and boring No one can lift the damn thing It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing But I I love it when you read to me And you You can read me anything The book of love has music in it In fact that's where music comes from Some of it is just transcendental Some of it is just really dumb But I I love it when you sing to me And you You can sing me anything The book of love is long and boring And written very long ago It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes And things we're all too young to know"
~ The Book of Love - The Magnetic Fields
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"So you think, might as well, dance a tango to Hell.
At least I'll have tangoed at all"
~ Rent
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"From facing your failure, Facing your loneliness Facing the fact you live a lie. Yes, you live a lie Tell you why You're always preaching not to be numb When that's how you thrive You pretend to create and observe When you really detach From feeling alive"
~ Goodbye Love |
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"I'd forgotten how to smile...until your candle burned my skin". ~ I Should Tell You - Rent |
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Wow....don't call today.
In total bitch mode.
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Thank you to a dear friend for helping me come to the realization that no matter what happens, or where this goes, I can't regret it.
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Stupid defense mechanisms..almost ruined it. |
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""I don't know you But I want you All the more for that Words fall through me And always fool me And I can't react And games that never amount To more than they're meant Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home We've still got time Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice Y ou'll make it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me And I can't go back Moods that take me and erase me And I'm painted black Y ou have suffered enough And warred with yourself It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home We've still got time Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice You've made it now Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along"
~ Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova |
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"If only it were true, If only for a while. If only you could notice how I ache behind my smile.
I guess you never will, I guess it doesn't show But, if I never find a way to tell you so Oh, what I would give if only could know." |
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HA!
Take that, Museum Non-Profit Fiscal Management! |
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You were wrong. He's not my Kryptonite. You are. |
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"Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you? And all about the good times that we've been through Could I wake up without you every day? Would I let you walk away?
No, I can't learn to live without And I can't give up on us now
Oh, I know I could say we're through And tell myself I'm over you But even if I made a vow A promise not to miss you now And try to hide the truth inside I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie
Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me? And all the reasons that make loving you so easy The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe The way you know just what I mean
No, I can't learn to live without Ohh, so don't you give up on us now
Ohh, I know I could say we're through And tell myself I'm over you But even if I made a vow A promise not to miss you now And try to hide the truth inside I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie"
~ I just can't live a lie - Carrie Underwood |
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Christ. I spoke in third person for someone.
What the fuck happened to me?
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Going to the Naughty shop tomorrow.
Yay!
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ARIEL: "I'd hoped and wished And wondered what I'd do here Wished and prayed And pictured what I'd see Prayed and wow! My prayers are coming true here! Look at it all, look how it gleams! Lovely beyond my wildest dreams...
Look- it's him! So handsome and refined and slim Sweet, sincere Magnificent from head to toe And oh...
I'd hoped and wished My life would feel enchanted! Wished and prayed The fates would hear my plea Prayed and wow! My prayers are more than granted! Look at it all, hall after hall Perfect as you could please here! Marvels galore, and even more Gee, did I mention he's here? And if - who knows? - all of it goes Past even these extremes Just look at me and you will see Someone beyond her wildest dreams!"
~Beyond My Wildest Dreams - TLM
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I can't decide what I like more: being sore the next day from a two hour workout, or being sore from a beating....
Talk about a critical thinking Saturday.
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"A star shining in a universe far away My heart knows that we shall meet again some sweet day And you, you will be the flame that burns in my breast And oh, I know just by knowing you I was blessed. Yes I was truly blessed Heaven, Heaven, ooh waiting there for me Heaven, Heaven, ooh always let it be So why, tell me why the good die young my old friend I pray that heaven waits for everyone in the end And love, love is how we cross that bridge to the light A star that is what you are in my darkest night Be always by my side"
~ Heaven - Haley Westenra
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"But his dark eyes dared me with danger And sparks fly like flame to a vapor Fire in his touch burnin' me up, but still I held on 'cause
I was already gone I was already gone I was already gone Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on"
~ Already Gone - Sugarland
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I can't breathe without you, but I have to.
~ 'Breathe' - Taylor Swift
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Went to a play party...and all I got was a bruise on my hand.
Something is wrong here.
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Almost done!!!
Master's degree; here I come!!!
Next stop: the world...ish.
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Quote of the year.
"Well then your gift can be a cookie...by cookie I meant sodomy."
I love my life. |
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OMG, OMG.....Greedy's Wedding!!!! |
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Public Service Announcement from your friendly Trapped:
I do not play online. I do not webcam. I will not send you nude pics.
Did I miss anything?
Thank you,
Mgmt.
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Wow, its been a long time.
When did I get so busy?
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"yes i do use ice and candle heat when i tease the woman's ass and clit"
I am pretty certain Robert Frost did not mean it like that. Philistine. |
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Yeah. I am not impressed, nor feeling submissive towards those that use "Me" instead of "me".
Words in the middle of sentences should only be capitalized if they are proper nouns. "Me" is not a proper noun. Sheesh.
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So, after much discussion yesterday, I have been categorized as a hussy, only to be upgraded to a harlot.
Yay.
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Hi,
Thanks again for sending my that picture of you in your slightly dingy underwear with your erection popping out. That is exactly what I wanted to see today. All my fantasies have been fulfilled.
Love, Trapped
Lame. |
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Found an awesome band on iTunes - We the Kings
"Soft kiss and wine what a pretty friend of mine We're finally intertwined Nervous and shy for the moment we will come Alive tonight
Secret valentine
We'll write a song That turns out the lights When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside Don't waste your time Speed up your breathing Just close your eyes We'll hope it's not for nothing at all
Lay down be still Don't worry talk they will I'll be loving you until Morning's first light Breaks tomorrow I'll take care of you tonight
Secret valentine
We'll write a song That turns out the lights When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside Don't waste your time Speed up your breathing Just close your eyes We'll hope it's not for nothing at all
When guilt fills your head Brush off rise up from the dead This is the moment that we Will come alive Brace yourself for love Sweet love, secret love.
We'll write a song That turns out the lights When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside Don't waste your time Speed up your breathing Just close your eyes We'll hope it's not for nothing at all"
~ Secret Valentine ~ |
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Wow. Random journal entries. But, I feel better now.
Thanks again, Xtreme Restraints!
;-)
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You know those days where the only thing you need is a glass of white and a cuddle? Yeah...this is one of those days.
So, I will settle for a glass of soymilk and a cuddle from a cat. Sigh. |
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So, that was fun.
How about tomorrow? |
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MMMMM....got out my flannels tonight.
You know that BDSM myth about submissives being naked at all times...yeah...not so much.
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What is it about buying a pair of heels that makes me feel so...alive?
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Nope. I'm not going to do it.
I'm not going to post in anger. Take that impulse!!
Self-control : 1 Impulse: 9,985 |
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"Your eyes As we said our goodbyes Can't get them out of my mind And I find I can't hide From your eyes The ones that took me by surprise The night you came into my life Where there's moonlight I see your eyes How'd I let you slip away When I'm longing so to hold you Now I'd die for one more day 'Cause there's something I should have told you Yes there's something I should have told you When I looked into your eyes Why does distance make us wise? You were the song all along And before this song dies I should tell you I should tell you I have always loved you You can see it in my eyes"
~ Your Eyes - RENT
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I am too stressed. When I start to dream about people dying, and it being my fault, something needs to change.
May. My life can start in May.
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If I ever find a Dominant on here, and he wants me to cook for him, i hope he likes egg salad. That's abut all I can cook.
I now return you to our regularly scheduled lyric postings.
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There is a show coming to NGA about the Pompeii wall decorations!!!! How awesome is that?
Yes, I know I am a geek. Please leave me with my delusions that I have a semblance of cool?
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"I’m the one with big mistakes Big regrets and bigger breaks Than I ever care to confess Oh but, You’re the one who looks at me And sees what I was meant to be More than just a beautiful mess
You are everything that I live for Everything that I can’t believe is happening You’re standing right in front of me With arms wide open All I know is Every day is filled with hope You are everything that I believe for And I can’t help but breathe you in Breathe again Feeling all this life within Every single beat of my heart"
~You Are Everything - Matthew West
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I just deleted about 52 pages of mail, mostly unanswered. I am a bad person.
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Huh.
So, apparently, when you walk over 3 miles a day, and watch what you eat, you begin to lose weight.
Who knew?
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"Where has the starlight gone? Dark is the day How can I find my way home?
Home is an empty dream Lost to the night Father, I feel so alone
You promised you'd be there Whenever I needed you Whenever I call your name You're not anywhere
I'm trying to hold on Just waiting to hear your voice One word, just a word will do To end this nightmare
When will the dawning break Oh endless night Sleepless I dream of the day
When you were by my side Guiding my path Father, I can't find the way
You promised you'd be there Whenever I needed you Whenever I call your name You're not anywhere
I'm trying to hold on Just waiting to hear your voice One word, just a word will do To end this nightmare
I know that the night must end And that the sun will rise And that the sun will rise
I know that the clouds must clear And that the sun will shine And that the sun will shine
I know that the night must end And that the sun will rise And that the sun will rise I know that the clouds must clear And that the sun will shine And that the sun will shine (Repeat to end)
I know Yes, I know The sun will rise Yes, I know I know The clouds must clear
I know that the night must end I know that the sun will rise And I'll hear your voice deep inside
I know that the night must end And that the clouds must clear The sun The sun will rise The sun The sun will rise"
~Endless Night ~ The Lion King
Amazing show. I was speechless. |
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I really need to make a better effort to post more than one sentence here at a time.
So, I'm also not sleeping now. Wonder if its from the surgery or the steroids?
Ok, that was two sentences. I'm good.
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My eye fucking itches.
I'm miserable.
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Had emergency surgery yesterday.
Recovering.
Back soon.
Leave a message
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Down for the count with something.
Be back in a few days.
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I hate dieting. I hate it. HATE. IT.
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"She'll fuck you just for the taste"
~Right Side of the Bed - Atreyu
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Somewhere in time I know, Darling you'll come back to me. Roses will bloom again, But Spring feels like eternity. In your kiss it wasn't goodbye. You are still the reason why.
I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room, My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon. I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly. "Love me now forever" Were the last words you said to me.
And when the morning comes, My hands still reach out for you. Some things remain the same, There is nothing I can do. I can barely get through the day Ever since you went away.
I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room, My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon. I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly. "Love me now forever" Were your last words to me...
Heaven help us cross this endless sea With starlight above to guide you to me. Waves crushing on distant shores, They're calling our names forever more.
And I still hear you whispering in the silence of my room, My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon. I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly. "Love me now forever" Were the last words you said to me.
~The Last Words you Said - Sarah Brightman
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Freaky dreams last night.
Today's agenda: Laundry, text review, cleaning, Target, and macaroni and cheese.
A good day.
Note to self: Wooden spoons only go so far down the garbage disposal before they come back up: in pieces.
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I literally cannot figure out for the life of me why people continually get the quote wrong from "Hamlet"
"This above all, to thine own self be true"
Really now, was that hard? Didn't think so.
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New pics from Last Weekend's wedding coming soon.
Let me know what you think....
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And the Cup comes back where it belongs!!!!
Go Wings!!!!
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*sigh*
Ok, maybe not so near.
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3-1 baby!!!
The end is near!
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Osgood, you're fucking killing me dude.
Get back in that goal!
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I'm on a break of sorts...I will still answer mail, but won't be on the forums regularly.
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Standing at the back door She tried to make it fast One tear hit the hard wood It fell like broken glass She said sometimes love slips away And you just can't get it back Let's face it
For one split second She almost turned around But that would be like pouring rain drops Back into a cloud So she took another step and said I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it
I don't wanna' spend my life jaded Waiting to wake up one day and find That I've let all these years go by Wasted
Another glass of whisky but it still don't kill the pain So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday Gotta face it.
Cause' I don't wanna' spend my life jaded Waiting to wake up one day and find That I've let all these years go by Wasted
Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing The still of the morning, the color of the night I ain't spending no more time Wasted
She kept drivin' along Till the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear For the first time in a while
Hey, yeah, Oh, I don't wanna' spend my life jaded Waiting to wake up one day and find That I've let all these years go by Wasted
Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing The still of the morning, the color of the night I ain't spending no more time Wasted
Oh, I don't wanna' spend my life jaded Waiting to wake up one day and find That I've let all these years go by Wasted
Yeah, yeah Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing The still of the morning, the color of the night I ain't spending no more time Wasted
~Wasted - Carrie Underwood |
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Leave and let me go You're not meant for me, I know Carry on, carry on And I'll stay strong
Leave and let me go I will think of you, I know But carry on, carry on And I'll stay strong
Someone else will keep you warm from now on Someone else will keep you safe from the storm But I'll be with you wherever you go So you will never be alone I'm going where the wind blows Going where the lost ones go
I will be with you I'm losing the love I found Crying without a sound Where have you gone? I will be with you You were my fool for love Sent me from high above You were the one I will be with you I'm going where the wind blows Going where the lost ones go
Leave and let me go Don't look back, just let me know Carry on, carry on You must stay strong
Nothing ever looks the same in the light Nothing ever seems to quite turn out right When you realize that you have been loved Than you will never be alone I'm going where the wind blows Going where the lost ones go
Leave and let me go Baby I can't come along Carry on, carry on You must stay strong
~I Will Be With You (Where the Lost Ones Go) - Sarah Brightman
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I have had some time to think over my experience at the Crucible, and my overall opinion was that it was alot of fun, and I enjoyed myself. I realized that this crazy world of BDSM is not as scary as it seems, and I can find a place for myself in it. It was strange though. I find myself feeling strangely bereft. Honestly, being a voyeur does nothing for me. I was no more aroused or excited watching people there than I would have been watching a movie. I wonder if it is because I don't know truly what it feels like, what they were going through, but I found it strange, and somewhat anticlimactic. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves...its not that scary...what have I been waiting for? I can do this. I can find someone for me. I definitely feel much more comfortable about it now, although I realized I have a problem with communicating exactly what I want, what I like and don't and what makes me uncomfortable. All things to work on. Many thanks to IM and DRH for the wonderful escort. It was certainly a night I won't forget.
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Going to the Crucible tonight, for the first time.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming of lyrics.
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I hear the ticking of the clock I'm lying here the room's pitch dark I wonder where you are tonight No answer on the telephone And the night goes by so very slow Oh I hope that it won't end though Alone
Till now I always got by on my own I never really cared until I met you And now it chills me to the bone How do I get you alone How do I get you alone you don't know how long i have wanted to touch your lips and hold you tight You don't know how long I have waited and I was going to tell you tonight But the secret is still my own and my love for you is still unknown Alone Till now I always got by on my own I never really cared until I met you And now it chills me to the bone How do I get you alone
~Alone - Heart
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how can you see into my eyes like open doors leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home
(Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can’t wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) bid my blood to run (I can’t wake up) before I come undone (Save me) save me from the nothing I’ve become
now that I know what I’m without you can't just leave me breathe into me and make me real bring me to life
(Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can’t wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) bid my blood to run (I can’t wake up) before I come undone (Save me) save me from the nothing I’ve become
Bring me to life (I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside) Bring me to life
frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead
all this time I can't believe I couldn't see kept in the dark but you were there in front of me I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems got to open my eyes to everything without a thought without a voice without a soul don't let me die here there must be something more bring me to life
(Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can’t wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) bid my blood to run (I can’t wake up) before I come undone (Save me) save me from the nothing I’ve become
(Bring me to life) I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside (Bring me to life)
~Bring Me to Life - Evanescence
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Never knew I could feel like this Like I've never seen the sky before Want to vanish inside your kiss Everyday I love you more and more Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings Telling me to give you everything Seasons may change winter to spring But I love you until the end of time
Come what may, come what may I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high no river too wide Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide But I love you until the end of time
Come what may, come what may I will love you until my dying day Oh come what may, come what may I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...
Come what may, come what may I will love you until my dying day
~Come What May - Moulin Rouge
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In this farewell There’s no blood There’s no alibi ‘Cause I’ve drawn regret From the truth Of a thousand lies
So let mercy come And wash away What I’ve done
I'll face myself To cross out what i’ve become Erase myself And let go of what i’ve done
Put to rest What you thought of me While I clean this slate With the hands of uncertainty
So let mercy come And wash away What I’ve done
I'll face myself To cross out what i’ve become Erase myself And let go of what i’ve done
~What I've Done - Linkin Park
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A song I would die to hear -
"The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting Could it be that we have been this way before I know you don't think that I am trying I know you're wearing thin down to the core
But hold your breath Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you Over again Don't make me change my mind Or I wont live to see another day I swear it's true Because a girl like you is impossible to find You're impossible to find
This is not what I intended I always swore to you i'd never fall apart You always thought that I was stronger I may have failed But I have loved you from the start Ohhhh
But hold your breath Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you Over again Don't make me change my mind Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true Because a girl like you is impossible to find It's impossible
So breathe in so deep Breathe me in I'm yours to keep And hold onto your words 'Cause talk is cheap And remember me tonight When you're asleep
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you Over again Don't make me change my mind Or I wont live to see another day I swear it's true Because a girl like you is impossible to find Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you Over again Don't make me change my mind Or I wont live to see another day I swear it's true Because a girl like you is impossible to find You're impossible to find"
~Fall for You - Secondhand Serenade
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"Stayed awake all night tossin', turnin' Now my blood shot eyes are burnin' Workin' out why this ain't workin' Fight after fight after fight And now it's killin' me You were too busy to believe in All the run away dreams I was dreamin' Time to pack up and go I'm leavin' Fight after fight after fight
And now I gotta be On My Own And living in a world alone Gets better every day That I don't have to say I'm sorry I'm coming home I'm gonna make it on my own I'll always take the harder road Gets better every day That I don't have to say I'm sorry I'm coming home
How'd you end up oh so jaded? Cynical and so sedated Can't live in this world you created Day after day after day
And now I gotta be On My Own And living in a world alone Gets better every day That I don't have to say I'm sorry I'm coming home I'm gonna make it on my own I'll always take the harder road Gets better every day That I don't have to say I'm sorry I'm coming home
You will always be the lonely one You will always try to swallow the Sun Just remember you could never make it rain on everyone
On my own And living in a world alone Gets better every day Cause I don't have to say And now you're killin' me
On My Own And living in a world alone Gets better every day That I don't have to say I'm sorry I'm coming home I'm gonna make it on my own I'll always take the harder road Gets better every day That I don't have to say I'm sorry I'm coming home I'll make it on my own I'm sorry I won't be coming home"
~On My Own - Hedley
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"You’re in my arms And all the world is calm The music playing on for only two So close together And when I’m with you So close to feeling alive
A life goes by Romantic dreams will stop So I bid mine goodbye and never knew So close was waiting, waiting here with you And now forever I know All that I wanted to hold you So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end Almost believing this was not pretend And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come So far we are so close
How could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now? We’re so close To reaching that famous happy end And almost believing this was not pretend Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are So close So close And still so far"
~ Jon McLaughlin - Enchanted
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"Oh I'll twine with my mingles and waving black hair With the roses so red and the lilies so fair And the mirtles so bright with the emerald dew The pale and the leader and eyes look like blue
I will dance I will sing and my laugh shall be gay I will charm every heart in each crown I will sway When I woke from my dreaming my idols were clay All portions of love had all blown away
Oh he taught me to love him and promised to love And to cherish me over all others above How my heart is now wondering no misery can tell He's left me no warning no words of farewell
Oh he taught me to love him and call me his flower That was blooming to cheer him through life's dreary hour Oh I long to see him and regret the dark hour He's gone and neglected his pale wildwood flower"
~ WildWood Flower - Walk the Line |
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"Ah, for just one time I would take the Northwest Passage To find the hand of Franklin reaching for the Beaufort Sea; Tracing one warm line through a land so wild and savage And make a Northwest Passage to the sea.
Westward from the Davis Strait 'tis there 'twas said to lie The sea route to the Orient for which so many died; Seeking gold and glory, leaving weathered, broken bones And a long-forgotten lonely cairn of stones.
Three centuries thereafter, I take passage overland In the footsteps of brave Kelso, where his "sea of flowers" began Watching cities rise before me, then behind me sink again This tardiest explorer, driving hard across the plain.
And through the night, behind the wheel, the mileage clicking west I think upon Mackenzie, David Thompson and the rest Who cracked the mountain ramparts and did show a path for me To race the roaring Fraser to the sea.
How then am I so different from the first men through this way? Like them, I left a settled life, I threw it all away. To seek a Northwest Passage at the call of many men To find there but the road back home again."
~Northwest Passage - Stan Rogers |
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It's funny when you find yourself Looking from the outside I'm standing here but all I want Is to be over there Why did I let myself believe Miracles could happen Now I have to pretend That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale A dream when I'm not sleeping A wish upon a star That's coming true But everybody else could tell That I confused my feelings with the truth When there was me and you
I swore I knew the melody That I heard you singing And when you smiled You made me feel Like I could sing along But then you went and changed the words Now my heart is empty I'm only left with used-to-be's And once upon a song
Now I know you're not a fairytale And dreams were meant for sleeping And wishes on a star Just don't come true Now even I can tell That I confused my feelings with the truth Because I liked the view When there was me and you
I can't believe that I could be so blind It's like you were floating While I was falling And I didn't mind
Because I liked the view I thought you felt it too When there was me and you
~When there was me and you - HSM
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[Meg:] If there's a prize for rotten judgement I guess I've already won that No man is worth the aggravation That's ancient history, been there, done that!
[Muses:] Who'd'ya think you're kiddin' He's the Earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you Girl, ya can't conceal it We know how ya feel and Who you're thinking of
[Meg:] No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no
[Muses:] You swoon, you sigh why deny it, uh-oh
[Meg:] It's too cliche I won't say I'm in love
I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming get a grip, girl Unless you're dying to cry your heart out Oh
[Muses:] You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling Face it like a grown-up When ya gonna own up That ya got, got, got it bad
[Meg:] No chance, now way I won't say it, no, no
[Muses:] Give up, give in Check the grin you're in love
[Meg:] This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love
[Muses:] You're doin flips read our lips You're in love
[Meg:] You're way off base I won't say it Get off my case I won't say it
[Muses:] Girl, don't be proud It's O.K. you're in love
[Meg:] Oh At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love
~I won't say I'm in love - Hercules
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Don’t give up It’s just the weight of the world When you’re heart’s heavy I - I will lift it for you Don’t give up Because you want to be heard If silence keeps you I – I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood Well I can hear you Everybody wants to be loved Don’t give up Because you are loved
Don’t give up It’s just the hurt that you hide When you’re lost inside I – I’ll be there to find you Don’t give up Because you want to burn bright If darkness blinds you I – I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood Well I can hear you Everybody wants to be loved Don’t give up Because you are loved
~You are Loved (Don't Give Up) - Josh Groban
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I gotta say what's on my mind. Something about us, doesn't seem right... these days. Life keeps getting in the way. Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged.
It's so hard to say, but I gotta do what's best for me. You'll be okay...
I've got to move on, and be who I am. I just don't belong here, I hope you understand. We might find a place in this world someday, but at least for now, I gotta go my own way.
Don't wanna leave it all behind. But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall every time. Another color turns to grey. And it's just too hard... to watch it all... slowly fade away.
I'm leaving today Cause I gotta do what's best for me. You'll be okay...
I've got to move on, and be who I am. I just don't belong here, I hope you understand. We might find a place in this world someday, but at least for now, I gotta go my own way.
TROY: What about us? What about everything we've been through?
GABRIELLA: what about trust?
TROY: You know I never wanted to hurt you.
GABRIELLA: What about me?
TROY: What am I supposed to do?
GABRIELLA: I gotta leave but I'll miss you
TROY (ECHOING): ...miss you.
GABRIELLA LEAD, TROY AD-LIBS: So I've got to move on, and be who I am. (Troy: why do you have to go) I just don't belong here, I hope you understand. (Troy: trying to understand) We might find a place in this world someday, but at least for now, (Troy: I want you to stay) I gotta go my own way.
I've got to move on, and be who I am. (Troy: what about us?) I just don't belong here, I hope you understand. (Troy: try to understand) We might find a place in this world someday. but at least for now, I gotta go my own way.
I gotta go my own way, I gotta go my own way.
~Gotta Go My Own Way - High School Musical 2
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Hands touch, eyes meet Sudden silence, sudden heat Hearts leap in a giddy whirl He could be that boy But I'm not that girl:
Don't dream too far Don't lose sight of who you are Don't remember that rush of joy He could be that boy I'm not that girl
Ev'ry so often we long to steal To the land of what-might-have-been But that doesn't soften the ache we feel When reality sets back in
Blithe smile, lithe limb She who's winsome, she wins him Gold hair with a gentle curl That's the girl he chose And Heaven knows I'm not that girl:
Don't wish, don't start Wishing only wounds the heart I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl There's a girl I know He loves her so I'm not that girl.
~Elphaba; Wicked |
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[HINCKLEY] I am nothing, You are wind and water and sky, Jodie. Tell me, Jodie, How I can earn you love. I would swim oceans, I would move mountains, I would do anything for you. What do you want me to do?
I am unworthy of your love, Jodie, Jodie, Let me prove worthy of you love. Tell me how I can earn your love, Set me free. How can I turn your love To me?
[FROMME] I am nothing, You are wind and devil and God, Cahrlie, Take my blood and my body For your love. Let me feel fire, Let me drink poison, Tell me to tear my heart in two, If that's what you want me to do...
I am unworthy of you love, Charlie darlin', I have done nothing for your love. Let me be worthy of your love, Set me free-
[HINCKLEY] I would come take you from you life...
[FROMME] I would come take you from your cell...
[HINCKLEY] You would be queen to me, not wife...
[FROMME] I would crawl belly deep through hell...
[HINCKLEY] Baby, I'd die for you...
[FROMME] Baby, I'd die for you...
[HINCKLEY] Even though-
[FROMME] Even though-
[HINCKLEY] I will always know: [FROMME] I will always know: [HINCKLEY] I am unworthy of [FROMME] I am unworthy of [HINCKLEY] Your love, [FROMME] Your love, [HINCKLEY] Jodie darlin', [FROMME] Charlie darlin',
[BOTH] Let me worthy of your love. I'll find a way to earn your love, Wait and see. Then you will turn your love to me, Your love to me...
~Unworthy of Your Love - Assassins
(A love song about Jodie Foster and Charles Manson....does it get any better?)
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There's been a change in me A kind of moving on Though what I used to be I still depend on For now I realize That good can come from bad That may not make me wise But oh it makes me glad
And I-- I never thought I'd leave behind My childhood dreams But I don't mind For now I love the world I see No change of heart a change in me
For in my dark despair I slowly understood My perfect world out there Had disappeared for good But in it's place I feel A truer life begin And it's so good and real It must come from within
And I-- I never thought I'd leave behind My childhood dreams but I don't mind I'm where and who I want to be No change of heart A change in me
No change of heart A change in me
~A Change in Me - Beauty and the Beast
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David walked into the valley With a stone clutched in his hand He was only a boy But he knew someone must take a stand
There will always be a valley Always mountains one must scale There will always be perilous waters Which someone must sail
Into valleys, into waters Into jungles, into hell Let us ride, let us ride home again with a story to tell Into darkness, into danger Into storms that rip the night Don't give in, but give up But give thanks for the glorious fight
You can tremble, you can fear it But keep your fighting spirit alive boys Let the shiver of it sting you Fling into battle, spring to your feet boys Never hold back your step for a moment Never doubt that your courage will grow Hold your head even higher and into the fire we go
Are there mountains that surround us? Are there walls that block the way? Knock 'em down, strip 'em back boys And forward and into the fray
Into terror, into valour Charge ahead, no, never turn Yes, it's into the fire we fly And the devil will burn
Someone has to face the valley Rush in, we have to rally and win boys When the world is saying not to By God, you know you've got to march on, boys Never hold back your step for a moment Never doubt that your courage will grow Hold your head ever higher and into the fire we go
Let the lightning strike Let the flash of it shock you Choke your fears away Pull as tight as a wire Let the fever strike Let the force of it rock you We will have our day, sailing into the fire
Someone has to face the valley Rush in! We have to rally and win boys When the world is saying not to By God, you know you've got to march on, boys Never hold back your step for a moment Look alive! Oh, your courage will grow Yes, it's higher and higher and into the fire we go Into fire! Onward, ho!
~Into the Fire - The Scarlet Pimpernel |
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Once upon a broken heart I was walking alone in the dark Looking for a way to start again What I wouldn't give for a friend There was no love in my life There was no light in my eyes All the tears that I had cried and cried Seemed like they'd never end
And I never believed fairytales came true But now I know that they really do Now that I found you, now that I'm here with you Just look at the sunshine, and you Showed me a world That I'd never seen I woke up and fell into this dream Happily ever after just took time Once upon this broken heart of mine
Long ago and far away I could never dream of the day That your love would come my way and stay And sweep me away and I
Never believed fairytales came true But now I know that they really do Now that I found you, now that I'm here with you Just look at the sunshine, and you Showed me a world That I'd never seen I woke up and fell into this dream Happily ever after just took time Once upon this broken heart of mine
this is the way a fairytale feels This is the way I know it's real 'Cause this is the way a broken heart heals
And I never believed fairytales came true But now I know that they really do Now that I found you, now that I'm here with you Just look at the sunshine, and you Showed me a world That I'd never seen I woke up and fell into this dream Happily ever after just took time Once upon this broken heart of mine
~Once Upon a Broken Heart - Beu Sisters
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There's gotta be something better than this, I know that there's so much out there to see. And I know this life I'm living, Can't be my destiny There's gotta be something better, Something better, There's something better than this for you and...
~Something Better, Muppet Treasure Island
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You feel like a candle in a hurricane Just like a picture with a broken frame Alone and helpless Like you've lost your fight But you'll be alright, you'll be alright
Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel With the end ripped out The edge of a canyon With only one way down Take what you're given before its gone Start holding on, keep holding on
~"Stand" Rascal Flatts
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I close both locks below the window. I close both blinds and turn away. Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple. Sometimes goodbye’s the only way.
And the sun will set for you, And the sun will set for you. And the shadow of the day, Will embrace the world in grey, And the sun will set for you...
In cards and flowers on your window, Your friends all plead for you to stay. Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple. Sometimes goodbye’s the only way.
And the sun will set for you, And the sun will set for you. And the shadow of the day, Will embrace the world in gray, And the sun will set for you..
~Shadow of the Day; Linkin Park
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Take back the books and pack up the clothes Clear out the room and drop off the key Leave with what's left of my dignity Get in the car and just go
Chalk it all up to experience They said I'd fail but I disagreed Who could say then where my path would lead? Well, now I know
Back to the sun Back to the shore Back to what I was before
Back where I'm known Back in my own Very small pond
Laugh with my friends When I arrive We'll drop the top and just drive That's fine with me Just let me be Legally Blonde
~Legally Blonde |
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Though I dreamed of this day long ago Now my answer is thank you, but no Look, I've barely begun, I'm hardly through
I was living in ignorant bliss Til I learned I could be more than this And you know, in a way I owe it all to you
I thought losing your love was a blow I could never withstand Look how far I have come without anyone holding my hand
I had to find my way They day you broke my heart You handed me the chance To make a brand new start
You helped me find my way There's still so much to learn So many dreams to earn But even if I crash and burn ten times a day
I think I'm here to stay I'm gonna find my way
~Legally Blonde |
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There'll be no ties of time and space to bind us, And no horizon we shall not pursue. We'll leave the world's misfortunes far behind us, And I will put my faith and trust in you.
~Aida
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Amneris: I may leave a great impression As I race through a succession Of the latest crazes, chase the newest fad I feel better when beguiling Find that fashion keeps me smiling But in my heart I know it's rather sad
Aida: That a life of great potential Is dismissed, inconsequential
Amneris: And only ever seen as being cute So I'll flutter to deceive
Aida: Oh no you must believe That one day you're bound to find
Aida/Amneris: A Stronger Suit
~Aida: My Strongest Suit (Reprise)
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One song Glory One song Before I go Glory One song to leave behind
Find one song One last refrain Glory From the pretty boy front man Who wasted opportunity
One song He had the world at his feet Glory In the eyes of a young girl A young girl Find glory Beyond the cheap coloured lights One song Before the sun sets Glory- on another empty life Time flies - time dies Glory - one blaze of glory One blaze of glory - glory Find Glory In a song that rings true Truth like a blazing fire An eternal flame
Find One song A song about love Glory From the soul of a young man A young man
Find The one song Before the virus takes hold Glory Like a sunset One song To redeem this empty life
Time flies And then - no need to endure anymore Time dies
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We all lead such elaborate lives wild ambitions in our sights How an affair of the heart survives days apart and hurried nights Seems quite unbelievable to me I don't want to live like that seems quite unbelievable to me I don't want to love like that I just want our time to be slower and gentler, wiser, free
We all live in extravagant times playing games we can't all win Unintended emotional crimes Take some out, take others in
I'm so tired of all were going through I don't want to live like that I'm so tired of all were going through I don't want to love like that I just want to be with you Now and forever , peaceful, true This may not be the moment to tell you face to face But I could wait forever for the perfect time and place
AIDA & RADAMES We all lead such elaborate lives We don't know whose words are true Strangers, lovers, husbands, wives Hard to know who's loving who
Too many choices tear us apart I don't want to live like that
Too many choices tear us apart I don't want to love like that I just want to touch your heart May this confession
Be the start
~Aida; Elaborate Lives |
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No more talk of darkness Forget these wide-eyed fears I'm here, nothing can harm you My words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom Let daylight dry your tears I'm here, with you, beside you To guard you and to guide you
Say you love me every waking moment Turn my head with talk of summertime Say you need me with you, now and always Promise me that all you say is true That's all I ask of you
Let me be your shelter Let me be your light You're safe; No one will find you Your fears are far behind you
All I want is freedom A world with no more light And you, always beside me To hold me and to hide me
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime Let me lead you from your solitude Say you need me with you here, beside you Anywhere you go, let me go to That's all I ask of you
Say you'll share with me on love, one lifetime Say the word and I will follow you
Share each day with me, each night, each morning
Say you love me
You know I do
Love me That's all I ask of you
Anywhere you go, let me go too Love me That's all I ask of you
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If you were falling, then I would catch you. You need a light, I'd find a match.
Cuz I love the way you say good morning. And you take me the way I am.
If you are chilly, here take my sweater. Your head is aching, I'll make it better.
Cuz I love the way you call me baby. And you take me the way I am.
I'd buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair. Sew on patches to all you tear.
Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise. And you take me the way I am. You take me the way I am. You take me the way I am. |
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So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light I'll put his picture down and maybe Get some sleep tonight
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do He's the time taken up, but there's never enough And he's all that I need to fall into. |
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What taste is this upon my lips A taste so sweet, what can that be What is this scent upon the air That fills my lungs and comforts me
And whispers low, how does it feel To savor all such just revenge To smell the fragrancy of loss And drunkenly inhale his pain
How can it be your countenance Is stripped of all his dash and dare And what of your bold confidence Could it have drowned in your despair
And after all this time I wash my hands of your charade And celebrate your fall from grace Preserve that sad look on your face And praise what God might manifest Himself to beings such as us For vengeance that at last is mine Comes sweetly after all this time
If you'll allow me to recall How my requests were swept aside In every instance I beseeched you I was shut out and denied
You shattered what I once believed From the moment you arrived And now you wonder why I gloat here Revelling in your grand demise
You're arrogant beyond contempt You beg to share my precious blood I no sooner you in my veins Than to see you with the ones you love
Good song. If you can name where it is from, without googling, I admire you!
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It's about one moment That moment you think you know where you stand But in that one moment The things that you're sure of slip from your hand And you've got one second To try to be clear, to try to stand tall But nothing's the same And the wind starts to blow
And oh, you're suddenly a stranger In some completely different land And you thought you knew But you didn't have a clue That the surface sometimes cracks To reveal the tracks To a new world
You have a house in the hills
You have a job on the coast
You find a lover you're sure you believe in
You get a pool in the back
You get the part of your life
You hold the ring in your hand
But then the earthquake hits
Then the bank closes in
Then you realize you didn't know anything...
Nobody told you the best way to steer When the wind starts to blow And oh, you're suddenly a stranger And life is different than you planned And you have to stay 'Til you somehow find a way To be sure of what will be, Then you might be free...
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Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you Constant reminder of all the things you get used to Is there a chance in hell or heaven That there's still something here to build on Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall But after all
There's a light in your eyes that I used to see And a song in the words that you spoke to me Was I wrong to believe in your melody There's a light in your eyes Did you leave that light burning for me
Should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away Fading away
It's been a while since I've seen you so how have you been Did you get my letter I wrote you but I did not send I tried to call your old number But the voice that I heard on the phone I recognized but she told me the number was wrong
There's a light in my eyes but it's too bright to see And a pain in my heart where you used to be Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me There's a light in your eyes Did you leave that light burning for me
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I know the sound of each rock and stone, I embrace what others fear, For you were not to roam in this forgotten place, Only the likes of me are welcome here,
Everything breathes and I know each breath, To me it means life, to others it's death, But it's perfectly balanced, perfectly planned, And more than enough for this man,
Like every tree stands on its own, Reaching for the sky I stand alone, I share my world with no one else, All by myself, I stand alone,
I've seen your world with these very eyes, Don't come any closer, don't even try, 'Cause I've felt all the pain and heard all the lies, For this there is no compromise,
Like every tree stands on its own, Reaching for the sky I stand alone, I share my world with no one else, All by myself I stand alone, All by myself I stand alone.
Good song. Not exactly what I want life to be...but, that's what it is right now. |
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Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow! Note to self. Forgetting about the metal lamp you have left on all evening and then touching your arm to it while stretching is not a good idea. Talk about a mood killer.
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Ok, so I said that when I got out here, I was going to find a public scene, immerse myself in it, and figure out who the effing hell I am, and what I need to do to be happy. I think, that I need to do that. However, I am incredibly naive as to what there is out here in DC for me to explore...so please, someone help me out. What sort of dark secrets does this area hold (Good god, that's positively noir), and how do I get involved, and no, your basement does not count :-)? What's going on here that I can seek out, find, and explore the darker side of me?
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I have dreamed that your arms are lovely, I have dreamed what a joy you'll be. I have dreamed every word you whisper. When you're close, Close to me. How you look in the glow of evening I have dreamed and enjoyed the view.
In these dreams I've loved you so That by now I think I know What it's like to be loved by you, I will love being loved by you. |
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Yes, I couldn't be happier. No, I couldn't be happier. Though it is I admit the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated. Though I couldn't be happier...simply couldn't be happier. Well, not simply. Cuz getting your dreams; it's strange but it seems a little, well, complicated. There's a kind of a sort of cost. There's a couple of things get lost. There are bridges you crossed you didn't know you crossed till you cross. And if that joy, that thrill, doesn't thrill like you think it will...still....with this perfect finale the cheers and the ballyhoo...who wouldn't be happier? So, I couldn't be happier. Because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true.....well, isn't it? Happy is what happens when your dreams comes true.
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Removed all my pictures due to work confidentiality. |
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Whew! Made it to D.C. Now all I need to wait for is my internet to actually work. I will reply to all your messages once it starts working.... |
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I am in the process of moving to D.C.
Holla back.
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Ever since this old world began a woman found that is she shook it she could shake up a man and so I'm gonna shake and shimmy just the best that I can today...you can't stop the motion of the ocean or the rain from above you can try to stop the paradise we're dreaming of. But you cannot stop the rhythm of two hearts in love to stay. You can't stop the beat.
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Put up two new pictures...should be up soon...
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What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you (from you)
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.
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I had the most amazing, mind-blowing conversation last night. Just sayin.
Note to self. Turn on light before walking into the lab. Running into the rock tumbler has not been the highlight of my day.
:-)
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Ok, so I admit it. Going to the bar last night was a bad idea and I knew it. I knew I would drink too much, spend too much money, and not get enough sleep. Well, after stumbling home at midnight, drinking some more, eating Taco Bell and watching 300 again (what is my obsession with that movie?), I finally crashed at 3, only to dream of people bringing me water because I was so dehydrated. Even I have to admit, that's a little pathetic. So now, here I am today, bleary eyed and useless at work, still wearing the glitter on my eyes from last night and going, "Why the fuck did I do that? I know better. What is wrong with me that I can't show at least a modicum of self-control?" Oh well...back to the drawing board..and the copious amounts of water I am drinking.
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I am a complete geek. I waited up until midnight, went to the store, waited in line for 20 minutes, and bought the special edition DVD of 300. I then proceeded to go home and watch it, even though I had to be up for work at 6. But, damn me, was it worth it! It is such a spectacular movie...the fight scenes, the love scenes, the dialouge, and one mustn't forget the physique. I absolutely adored the slow motion action scenes coupled with the hard rock music. I'm always ready to either go out and battle after watching it, or be conquered after it. There is something about a strong, virile warrior that gets me going and doesn't let up...*sigh*
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I know it is one of those days when I shouldn't have gotten out of bed. I walked into the museum this morning and walked face first into a grizzly bear.
Talk about ouch.
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I'm sorry for everything I've said And for anything I forgot to say too When things get so complicated I stumble, at best, muddle through.
I wish that our lives could be simple I don't want the world, only you.
Oh I wish I could tell you this face to face But there's never the time, never the place
Oh this letter will have to do I love you.
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I'm such a nerd. I'm watching "The Inner Planets" about Mercury and Venus on the History channel, and I'm enthralled. Nothing like learning about the climates of the two inner planets...
Why can't I find a nerdy Dom like me?
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In other news, that dream was spectacular!
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I noticed today that I have the remnants of a bruise on my hand. It is over four weeks old, a remembrance of my Emergency room visit and a moronic nurse who stomped on the IV cord and allowed the blood and fluid to leak out. Not a pain I would like to experience again I must say.
Of course, this brings a question to my mind. Yes, it was a huge bruise, and I know it is going to take a long time to heal, but four weeks seems a little excessive. I wonder if it is because of the pale skin or the amount of blood that was allowed to escape. But, will this always occur? After a session of intense play (God willing that I'll actually get it), will I be bruised for weeks? Is that was people are looking for, or will I find someone able to understand that a little care is needed. On that note will I ever be able to trust someone to the point of letting them do it? I am afraid of someone going too far and scarring me. I have far too many scars on the inside to need or want any on the outside.
Well, it is far too early to be babbling on about bruises and metaphysical constructs of them. Back to the daily grind.
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This affection I feel is hard to understand
It’s not the way I planned
My world is changing
Wherever I turn
It’s his face I see
Looking back at me
And in my eyes I can’t disguise
The affection I feel
Is getting the better off me
Oh for the first time it’s not a dream
Oh for the first time it seems so real
That I want to remember
Every moment
That I’m there beside him
When he gently takes my hand
So here I am
Feeling things I’ve never felt
And all because of him
My world is changing He's turned my whole world upside down.
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What a lovely dream. I am having such a great day based on this figment of my imagination.
In other news, I get my new computer this weekend...woot.
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I sit here in silence contemplating the next step I am taking in my life, and looking back on where I have gone (as silent as it can be with a birdsong cd playing in the next exhibit over). I think about moving to D.C. and how wonderful life will be there. There are so many options for me, so many people looking for the same thing I am, and hopefully, a scene that is large enough for me to get lost in until I am comfortable. I cannot help but be excited about my time next year...then the worry sets in.
I met some wonderful people here this year (whom I will not name, but you know who you are). We shared lovely conversation, and so many similar interests I became to wonder where one left off and the other began. Yet, I walked away...partially for academic reasons and partially because I couldn't handle it.
I feel regrets, but know the path I am taking is the right one. I want to open up to this world I know, deep down in my heart and in the dark recesses of my mind, I belong in. But, I don't know how. How do I follow through with something I want so badly? How do I get past these ridiculous trust issues that never seem to go away?
When the time comes, will I be ready? Or run back into the vanilla world from whence I came?
I'm not looking for posts of "I can fix you" with this journal entry. I just wanted to share my thoughts...
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What do you do with a B.A. in English (or a B.S. in history)? What is my life going to be? Four years of college and plenty of knowledge has earned me this useless degree. I can't pay the bills yet 'cuz I have no skills yet. The world is a big scary place. But somehow I can't shake this feeling I might make....a difference...to the human race.
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Last night was a trip. The bar was fun, the bat flying around my bedroom was not, nor was me locking myself out of my house and having to crawl through a window.
Then the dream. Oh, the dream.
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Good Lord, its been awhile. Graduation is busy stuff.
Well, it's official. I am relocating to D.C. in the fall to attend George Washington University.
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Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try. No more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years. Help me say goodbye.
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So, I've become super obsessed with this one song, from the motion picture Eragon. It's called Keep Holding On, and it is spectacular. It just seems to capture my mood tonight. That, and the Phantom of the Opera. What a great musical...I so would have gone for the Phantom. But, that's just me. If you ever want to hear my in-depth explanation of that, let me know....:-)
"You're not alone, together we stand. I'll be by your side you know I'll take your hand. When it gets cold, and it feels like the end, there's no place to go you know I won't give in. So far away, I wish you were here, before its too late this could all disappear. Before the doors close, and it comes to an end, with you by my side I will fight and defend....I'll fight and defend. Keep holding on cause we're going to make it through. Just stay strong, cause you know I'm here for you. There's nothing you can say; nothing you can do. There's no other way when it comes to the truth, so keep holding on cause we're gonna make it through.
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Seriously, sometimes people on this site irritate me. So, I write back to you and don't write 3 paragraphs about my interest in history. You get all offended and act like I've just given you the cut direct (and if you don't understand what that means, you are beyond help), and then act all passive and manipulating about how you "won't bother me anymore" Well Ha! My mother could beat that passive agressive bullshit that you just tried to pull anyday. You wanna be manpulative. Do it to some girl who's too dumb to care. I'm not going to beg for your attention; that's not how I roll. I'm the youngest and the only girl in my family: you think I can't see manipulation when its staring me in the face. Ha again! And another thing; I have a name, I have an identity. Don't call me sub like a). you own me or b). that is what defines me. I identiy as a submissive but that is only one part of a much larger being, and if you can't accept that, or can't figure out why I'm angry or annoyed, keep moving. To all of those reading this who are not morons, I apologize for my rant. Seriously.
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The chaotic week is finally over. I'm not sure what made it so; the week just did not go as planned. I kept having these dreams that threw me off the entire day...dreams I wish I could figure out. Dreams of sex, lies, and drugs, and a knife fight. It was horrible. I just want to stop dreaming like this. What happened to my awesome fantassy dreams about dragons and magic and me saving the world? What is stressing me out so much that I have to dream about my brother trying to kill me before I get it? Needless to say, I'm a bit unnerved.
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What a day. I am exhausted. It wasn't a bad day, just a long one, and tomorrow is going to be even longer. My brain is fried, so this won't be one of my more thought provoking posts.
Spent three hours of three Augustan pieces of art, and we covered two in the first hour. We spent two hours of the Ara Pacis Augustae. It was amazing. To sit there and try to understand the methodology and propaganda associated with that one altar is spectacular. I took 10 pages of notes tonight. That is a record. I am always so worn out after that class. Like tonight. But, in other news, I got a 94 on the test...the highest grade in the class. Oh yeah. Now I'm going to celebrate by crashing.
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It is always hard for me to realize that someone that I hoped was the one is not going to turn out the way I thought it was. It is also hard to try and explain to that person, inso many words, that I am damaged, dark and twisty. People just don't get where I am coming from. Now, realize this is a mass generalization, and I am just putting into words now what I don't want to explain later. I have to live with the fact that perhaps my craving for submission, my yearning for a loss of control, and my wanting of a Dominant stems from a traumatic experience. Everytime I get close to someone I back away, warring with the disgust and shame of a long past situation not in my control. Some people cannot imagine the horror I feel when I realize that, if not genetic, my entire sexual being revolves around what a neighbor did to me when I was 8. Sometimes it is even hard for me to fathom. Perhaps this may shed some light on why I am so wary of relationships, or meetings. My desire to submit scares me, as I do not know its origin. Are we born to be submissive, or is it just a side-effect of childhood horrors? This is my battle.
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So, instead of doing the loads of homework like I had planned on, I ended up going to Mass instead and renting movies.
We rented One Night With the King. The movie was simply amazing. Not to mention the fact that it portrays not onl my favorite Biblical story, but also my favorite love story, besides the Princess Bride of course. What's better than a Cinderella story with intrigue and death defying antics. Not to mention the hot, domnating prescence of Xerxes... It was beautifully shot, with glorious fabrics and colors. The architecture was spectacular...exactly how I would imagine Xerxes' kingdom to be. They even got the Persian gate right...
However, while in the shower later, I realized that I have become too much of a historian. I tried to date the Xerxes which they were talking about, as well as attacking Greece, because I remember learning about Xerxes' defeat of King Leonidas and the Spartans (immortalized by the graphic novel 300, soon to be the coolest movie ever!), but I digress.
After dating the Xerxes that it was talking about, my enthusiam dimmed a bit. There is no historical record of Esther. Xerxes turns out not to be the man portrayed in the Bible, as he does attack Greece to enlarge his empire, and ultimately is defeated. Yet, even though Esther is never mentioned by name, somehow I hope the story rings true. I don't know if it is faith, or just my foolish notions of romanticism, but I need to believe in a love that strong.
Sometimes its hard to be a historian.
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So, I thought I was done. I thought I was all set...but oh no! There's more. Freaking FASFA's..say that five times fast. Now, I need to do my taxes. I was hoping to procrastinate, but nope, no luck again. Oh well.....yay for Blizzards and staying inside in bathrobes.
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Wherefore, O Men of Athens, I say to you... Therefore, acquit me or not, but whichever you do. I shall never alter my ways, never adjust my approach to this maze, never reform till the end of my days, even if I have to die many times.
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Wooo! Last Graduate Application done! Now, the incessant waiting begins...4-6 weeks...I'm in hell. BUt, I got them done, and for a while there I wasn't sure.
Spent an hour learning about Art Nouveau. Gag me. Give me Exekias, or Pheidias or Lysippos of Skopas, but not modern art. I frickin hate modern art.
So, my pictures are still not working. I e-mailed support and we'll see how much help I get. Hang in there, and no I won't send you any pictures. If the only reason you want to talk to me is because I have a picture up, then I probably don't want to talk to you...
Strange though, how many fewer messages I am getting now that I don't have a picture up...coincidence?
Yay for the weekend. Yay for spending the entire weekend doing homework.
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I am seriously irked.
And I don't believe in hypnosis.
So there.
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So, I put up some new, pictures, and they haven't been approved yet. So please, hang in there with me.
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Do you ever get a message and say to yourself, or even to the person who sent it..."Are you serious?" or "You're kidding, right?" Some people ask the weirdest questions. Whatever happened to a simple "Hello, how are you?"
Newsflash gentlemen. I can read your profile and know you consider yourself a Dominant. You don't have to tell me that, nor do you have to tell me that you like me because of my blonde hair, and you will change my weight later. Seriously. No wonder some people have trouble finding others on here.
Ok, rant over. I'm pumped about my Roman art class tonight. Three hours on the transition from Late Roman Republic to the Augustan Empire, plus a test. I was in Heaven!
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Someone just called me a bbw. Now, I'm not saying it is wrong to be called that, but I think it's only appropriate to be called that if you label yourself a bbw. I do not. Yes I'm curvy, but anyone who knows me on here knows how much I struggle with my weight, so for him to say, "Don't worry, I like bbws" made me want to reach into the computer and push his nose through his brain. Wow...total mood swing. And I was in such a good mood after my Roman Art class!
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No one in your life is with you constantly. No one is completely on your side. And though I'd move my world to be with Him, still the gap between us is too wide.
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Ok, obviously I need a new picture. People keep complimenting me on my braces.
I don't have braces.
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Well, it has certainly been a while since I have been on here last, or at least have updated my journal. But, I am almost finished with my Graduate School Applications (I only have to submit one more, and I can't do that till I get paid...stupid speeding ticket. Apparently they frown on going 75 in a 55 zone. Oops.)
But, hopefully now that I'm less busy I'll be here more often. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you. Cheers!
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Well, I learned another important lesson yesterday.
Beer Pong using Amaretto Sours is not a good idea. I sure am paying for it today. Oh well. Off to study for the finals that never seem to end. So many interesting people on here. Why in God's name do I have to live in Michigan?
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All I want...all I want...is a little place of my own where I can rest my head.
Name that song. And no googling.
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I seriously hate grad school applications...and the GRE...seriously.
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What a week...what a dream last night. If I was one to interpret dreams, which I'm not, since I pretty much believe that they are just images that manifest from my subconsciousness, but if I did, this would take the cake. Space Exploration, the movie Predator, and the tv shows Bones and House were all involved...how strange is that? Well, the week is almost over. It's been a long week, certainly. I might have taken on too many credits, but I love the classes that I am taking, so, if I work hard, I should be able to make it through. The first night football game is tonight. I guess I ought to be out there sharing my school spirit, but really, after our players were accused of murder, somehow, I'm just not interested in it at the moment. Oh well....have a lovely day everyone!
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Well, for some reason my picture is not working at the moment. If you would like to see it, e-mail me and I'll see if I can accomadate.
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Perhaps I have not been as clear as I could have been....
I am a graduating senior from college, attempting to get into an ivy league, or near ivy league graduate school. I also work part time and am involved in 2 extra curricular activities. I cannot be online every night to speak with you for four hours or on the phone for hours. So please, have patience and stick with the e-mails. If there is a connection, something can be arranged, but rudeness because I am busy is uncalled for, and quite juvenile.
You do not own me, you have not collared me, therefore, why do you think you have the right to dictate the hours which I am online?
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I have discovered one thing about myself today: When I have my Doctorate, I will never subject my students to 8 am classes. I can barely get up for them; why would I expect them to be able to get up as well?
In other news, I began my Nazi Germany Holocaust class today. It will certainly be an eye-opener, albeit a painful one. I do not regret taking this course, but I have the feeling that I will not get through the course with only a few tears.
Sometimes I ponder if I have too many emotions; emotions are a good thing I know, but I wonder if perhaps sometimes it is better to be less empathetic.
It is impossible for my emotions to turn off, or ignore them. I am a left-brained kind of girl. I do not think rationally, I think with my heart. I'm a straight A college student that gets into trouble way too often.
Mon Dieu! Look at the time. I'm off to a three hour lecture on Greek Art and Architecture. Fun, no?
Let me tell you a secret..I'm so excited for this class!
And the application to Georgetown Graduate School sitting on my desk!!
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Wow...first day of classes, and I'm already busy. I can't believe this is the first day of classes for my final year of college...where did the time go?
No matter..this year, I will enjoy college, I will have fun..I will live it up. No matter what it takes..
Oh yeah..and turkey on flatbread with fresh cheese is yummy.
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Well, I'm off at 5 to go out of town and see family, so forgive me if I do not respond to your messages until Monday, but never fear, I will respond.
By the way, Skittles are not a great lunch choice.
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I'm back, once again, perhaps a little wiser. I've discovered that there are some people out there who will only hurt you, but I've also discovered there are those who are genuinely nice, with whom you can be friends, and perhaps more.
I know what I am looking for...and I love chatting, so please say Hi!
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