Something i wrote:

You are but a memory, a whisper upon my mind, Calling to me, Beckoning me forth, as if a single drop of Your blood shall quench the burning need in my mind of You, Yet my soul knows such madness to not be enough, closing my eyes i seek, touching upon the very essence, this is but a vivid need, knowing the sacrifice one must make, You are a Soul Keeper, i the puppet upon Your strings, playing on the need of You, the thirst for You, i dance but a puppet on Your strings.

I have decided to take a moment and write this new entry. I am gonna say this right upfront, email of negativity from you because you dislike what I have to say here will simply amuse me. So by all means if you wish to amuse me, ob*ectify yourself and email me hate. *smirks*

I have browsed the profiles some, not something I normally do but after seeing certain type in chat I was curious to see if it is some epidemic.  It is.

Women, *Dominant* women on here often wonder why they aren't taken seriously or why they cant find anyone. Let me clue you in princess, there is a difference between Dominance and bitch. There is also a difference between Dominant and whore.

In order to lead you must give someone something to follow, a tight ass in leather holding a whip or money is all great for kink and sex but to lead  you have to have a natural ability, an acceptance of self and an overall understanding of people in general. 

Wanting to be called Goddess or what have you right out the gate is about as dumb as a box of rocks. 

Respect, it goes both ways. Treat someone as a human, then when you have them following you, turn em into your lil stud puppet if you wish. But to expect someone to follow you blindly when they do not know you or to kneel because you have a set of tits is not very Dominant at all. 

It is using your body to get what you want. If you cant use your mind to do that, then you need to think about your role in life. 

Be proud but Be realistic.

It has been awhile since I have put anything here and I have been asked by several people when I am going to again so here it goes. lol

I have been around for awhile, see much, done some stuff, you know the how it is. I have been a busy girl, almost finished my second book to the lifestyle series I am working on. Sorry hate to disappoint, it isn't sexual nor a romance novel. It leans heavy on the M/s mental aspects of things. Kink is all well and good, but if you profess to live this life choice then have the integrity to not play games. If you are in it just for the kink, be honest about it.

Most of all, understand, this is not some fairy tale romance novel where someone comes to rescue you dressed in leather holding a whip. lol

Beyond all that, be very true to yourself, know your wants, desires, needs, craving and your shortcomings. Learn who and what you are, then go for it. Don't let social media or your local church group tell you how to live your life. Life is too damn precious and short to live inside some box, it isn't worth the wasted moments you could have had.

Have a wonderful hunt and remember, just because someone holds a whip and wears leather doesn't mean they are a Dominant or Master. Nor just because they say they are, it doesn't work that way people! 

Have a great day!

Time for a new journal entry:

Now I know this is going to be hard for some to understand but maybe if you read slow enough you can get it.

1.If I wanted to be a bimbo I would have stated so in my profile.

2. Yes, I am a masochist. No, I wont bleed for a perfect stranger.

3. No, I am not male. Get glasses.

4. No, I am not a bitch because I wont bow down to a perfect stranger.

5. Being a slave does not mean I will serve all and sundry.

6. Yes, I am always horny. No, I wont fuck you.

I think that about covers some of the basic silly things I run across in messages.

Look people I am intelligent and have been in M/s for 19 yrs now, trying to blow smoke up my arse just is not gonna cut it. You wanna talk to me show me YOU have brains and some sort of self respect. You wanna be a pig don't get all huffy when I respond back in the appropriate manner.  Have a great day. smiles

Slavery, it isn't about doing something because it brings pleasure to you, it is about doing that which brings you no pleasure but brings the One you serve max pleasure.

It is not a childhood game of hide and seek, it is a real life way of thinking, of being. Slavery is what happens when you have thoughts that have nothing to do with you and everything to do with your Owner.

If you are truly a slave you know that even unowned you do things a certain way because..you are slave. Your mentality is that of slave, whether at work,home, the store, wherever, your thoughts should be that of a slave.

Slavery is not about gain, or selfish needs or wants. The desire should be in the need to serve and be pleasing. That alone should be all that matters to you, not whether you got treated a certain way or gained pleasure from it.

Slaves are born to please,serve and obey. Oh yes you have a brain, it takes intelligence to give of ones self so totally and completely. When you give up your right to leave and totally submit then you can say you have reached unconditional slavery, something more ought to learn about.

This is a life choice,not a wknd at the nude beach. This is not about sex and fun little games, it is about a persons being. It is about knowing you are slave.

Are you slave? or do you really just play at it? Is it what your breath and think? When someone asks you what do you think of? do you answer, how to be a better slave?

It is what a slave should think of everyday,how to be better,how to grow,learn,strive to be perfection even if you never reach such a goal the trying to reach it is the part that matters.

thank you,morte

8-04-2012

It has been a little bit since my last entry so I shall rectify that now.

Mental Branding: I have not seen much talk of such things in profiles I have read or from the people I have talked to.

I think it is one of the most important parts of M/s and has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

It is an awareness, a sense of knowledge of knowing who you are and who you belong to. Mental Branding is the slow molding of ones mind to become better, more committed and very aware of the process of becoming an owned slave.

No it has nothing to do with brain washing. It has to do with a slave being aware at all times of the scheme of things. It is your owner putting His mark on your mind and sealing it for His domain.

You learn to serve before He speaks, you learn to please before He moves, you are so attuned to your slavery that things simply come natural to you without thought or balking at it. You simply Know you are truly property.

Doesn't mean you are stupid, it takes some type of brain cells to live this lifestyle of M/s and to accept the consensual conditioning of your mind to be Mentally Branded.

I know this comes as a shock to some but believe it or not Masters for the Most part Like Intelligent slaves. They would rather not have to tell you how to wipe your own coochie. They prefer someone with substance otherwise how can one obey and be the best slave they can?

If you are mentally branded you don't have the me me me complex, you don't whine about things not being *fair*, you simply act and DO because you are aware of your Owner even while asleep. You learn to know every nuance about your Owner and simply accept what He offers you, you never Expect it.

It is not for everyone but I will say this, it is worth fighting for and being strong enough to embrace.

Time for another entry:

Some days you just look at life and wonder how you got where you are and think about what lays ahead for you. You realize that even for all the past mistakes there is redemption by changing the things you did wrong and learning from those mistakes. Life is full of twists and turns , full of heart ache and laughter. The balance between light and dark is some times distorted and you have to take a moment to breath and understand that throughout your life you will have moments of both light and dark.

It is what you do with those moments that count. If you can't accept that you are a creature of both then your life will always be in an upheaval.

I am not sure the paths I take are much in light at times but I can accept this and rise above it to be who I am and understand that regardless of the dark days there will always be light in me waiting to give me peace and serenity.

This is not religious based talk, I am talking your inner being, your inner workings. The person who says they have no darkness in them is a person denying the very essence that makes up the make up of your soul. Whether you choose to live more in darkness or in light is your choice but it is a choice and not something that you can not help.

I learned this in my quest to learn who I am. Every time you do something and said I had no choice..think on it, we always have a choice, the choice you choose is yours to bare and face. If you do not then it is only yourself you can blame, because truth and understanding falls on your shoulders.

Into the Night,

Sitting upon my cage , i allow my thoughts to wander, sighing deeply as my eyes drift shut , i allow myself to travel my longings path,letting it led me where it's seductive dance will.


" Feeling the cool sensation of steel against me , my eyes flutter open, i try to sit up but i cannot, i am bound,raising my head i assess my situation. Sure enough my wrists and ankles are strapped to what i can only surmise is a steel slab on a raised platform. Shivering as my thoughts scatter in many directions, i give in to the urge to close my eyes briefly. That is when i pick up the echo of steps. my body instantly tenses, the unmistakable sounds of a man walking towards me can not be denied. i keep my eyes tightly closed,my breathing becoming ragged gasps, a sliver of fear has raced through my blood,raising goose bumps on my flushed flesh.
I can feel Him standing silently on the side of me, i refuse to look,to give in to what will come..this is our ritual, our moment,yet each time i find myself in the same condition mentally and emotionally as if it had never happened, only the present mattered. He taught me this well. "...............

To be continued...

Sometimes I don't always talk or chat, I can be a quiet person at times simply because I am either reflecting or taking in what others are saying.

I take M/s seriously and often keep silent on it unless it is here where I can write what I think or feel. I absolutely love sex however for me it is not on the same level as actual M/s. Sounds odd I am sure but the thing is it is more the way I think,feel and perceive things than it is about the sex. Sexual slavery is awesome but I am more well rounded and in depth about it all. When someone asks me in real or on here how can you be such a slave, my answer is always the same. It is not really a choice and if it were I would still be one. I have been a slave now 18 years and I am always learning and growing. Making some major stumbles along the way but it is like breathing. It is not something I can walk away from, I tried. It brings an almost physical pain to me when I try to deny myself the person I am. We all have a place in life and I know what mine is. I am not a drive thru slave or a part time one. It doesn't work that way for me. Many scoff at 24/7 M/s, the thing is whether I am doing vanilla things or not I know who I am and where my place is. Being 24/7 is a mind set, it is as common to me as walking is. Doesn't mean I am *on* 24/7, I don't have an on and off switch. I am simply being me and have a real sense of where my place is. Doesn't mean I am bound,  gagged or live in a cage. Granted I have a love of cages and find them a security but not something I live in. I am intelligent and active so living in a cage 24/7 is a bit of a unreality based fantasy for ME. Whatever you choose to do or be just be Real about it. Don't assume you know all the answers about this life because you don't. Learn from others even if it might not be your opinion on things, you would be surprised what you may get out of something and you may find yourself even agreeing with it. Life is not a closed book and neither is M/s.

Advice of the day: Never go mud bogging while laying in the back of a pick up, you seriously will get mud in places you never thought possible and frankly some of those places you Really do not want mud!!! **grins**

They say life is what you make it and i believe that. Doesn't matter what you were but what you become. To linger on your past mistakes is to live in the past and never change, live in the present or change the future.

Mistakes are made , first and foremost we are humans whether you are a Dominant or submissive, whether you are in an M/s or D/s relationship. We aren't super human, we aren't flawless. Because we aren't we make mistakes, we hurt people, we hurt ourselves. The secret is to learn from them and not turn them into irreparable flaws. Learn who you really are and what path you really wish to be on and then make no excuses for that path. Be who you are and learn to love yourself for who you are.

There is no regret or insecurity if you are being who you truly are. The regrets and insecurities come from being someone you are not and that leads to mistakes, sadness and in the end loneliness.

I speak from experience, I have done a lot wrong in my life, made dreadful mistakes that hurt people and left me lonely on to many an occasion. Being who you aren't leads to a life of misery. Not being accepted for who you are and trying to be something else leads to many hurts.

I can't say I wont make mistakes, but at least when i do i know i am not living in the past or trying to be someone i am not. i am simply me, accept or don't.

I have seen so many wanting to give up on life,themselves and the hope of a match here. What never seems to be seen is no matter if you are alone you are worth more then you give yourself credit for. We all are human first, we weren't born being owned for the most part. Some times when you rush something it ends up being far worse then had you just slowed down and let life take it's course In the end you will find what you are suppose to and along the way you are going to be in relationships that end no where.

Life isn't a fairytale, there isn't a black and white to life, there is a rainbow.

First you have to realize you and you alone is worth a lot in this life you lead. you are what makes what you will have, happen. Self worth comes before anything else can. Seeing yourself as nothing in turn projects to people that you are Nothing. Put it out there, be that person inside of you that hides from the world, if you don't, life will pass you by and you will continue to lead an unhappy life.

Stand up and stop complaining, be who matters and not just something wanting pity. Self worth is a helluva lot more valuable then self pity ever will be.

i have made no secret i am a slave to the core of me, but i wish to talk about who i am not just as a slave but as a person.Perhaps some will wonder why i would say so much, i have nothing to hide,im not ashamed of who i am, i have no need to prove a thing, i am expressive to some degrees and like to share of myself, part of being a slave no doubt.

i am a self less person, not bragging it is a well known fact among Real Life vanillas,Dominant and submissives.i will give of myself without thought of gain,i will do for others without thought of what praise i may get for doing whatever it is i may do for someone,i am not looking for glory or recognition for being who i am. i have enough flaws to know i am not close to perfect.i am ocd (not diagnosed so im not like on pills people) about cleanliness of all kind, i am very organized,and picky about the people i associate with,no that does not make me a snob.

lets face it we all have standards,mine are simple, be clean,keep a clean house or if a Dominant at Least want a clean home,be Intelligent,no you dont have to have a Harvard Law Degree but you seriously have to have intelligence of some sort, have self pride and self control, have a need to better yourself no matter in what type of situation aka mentally,physically,work related etc.

 

have morals and decency, humor and yes a strong sense of self with no Drama. Those are the people i want to know,whether you have money or not is not an issue,it is the quality of yourself i look at.i have a dark sense of humor at times, can be very quiet and brooding, i do not care to lie,cheat or steal, i find such things beneath me as a person and a slave,i laugh at silly things or things most people would think was gross, i try to find the good in life even when it seems there is none, im a cynic as well,yes i am a lot of characteristics rolled into one person.

 i am blunt and to the point, never ask me a question unless you want the truth because i wont sugar coat a thing,im not here to lie to you so you get some uplifting of your self esteem, facing your issues is what helps you grow.i am kind and cold as well. There is no excuse for some things people do and i dont put up with it,i am a doormat at times but only for an Owner, not just any ones shoes can walk on me and expect a smile.

im not in junior high and refuse to act like it, if you whine you are fat or ugly to me, i will agree,stroking your ego is not my job,you should stroke it yourself dont care how fat or ugly you are grow some strength and either start believing you are pretty or frigging do something about it.well i guess that is it for now.

Here is my next little entry in my journal of my way of thinking,living and feeling...

                                       Worshipping a Master

When one worships a Master they do so with a sense of pride and joy, it is never about you and always about the Master,worshipping Him is not just about His body, it is about the Man and what He stands for and believes. To worship a Master is to understand first that He owns you totally,completely and all consuming. When you look at Him you realize He makes up the air you breath and the steps you walk. He is all around you even when you are by yourself. you are amazed everyday by Him and His knowledge,His sense of self, His laughter and His strictness, everything He does you adore so completely, you cant find a single thing wrong with your Master simply because even when He falters He is your rock. every inch of His body is burned into your brain, His step, His voice, His moods, you know them all and you kneel to Him. Worshipping Him is not just about sex, it is about looking at a Man who is your Master and knowing you are there at His wishes and because you simply do not wish to live without Him.

you will endure much with a smile or tears because all you wish to do is please Him,make Him happy, serve Him and adore Him.

He has gotten into your mind so well He lives inside of you, when you do something the first thing you think is, what would Master have me do? what would Master think of this? how would Master expect me to act?

it doesnt make you a doormat or a ragdoll, you are intelligent, witty, strong and caring. you simply are consumed by the Man you call Master and you show Him everyday of every month of every year just how Much you worship Him by serving Him,pleasing Him,taking care of Him,pampering Him and sexually arousing Him in the ways He likes best. To Worship is to be selfless and attentive.

It has been awhile since i wrote in this so i shall write another little story...


The room was dark save for the candles that burn hotly around the room, casting their sensual shadows upon the figures...her eyes were half closed, glazed with wonder and arousal, as He stood over her, a demanding presence, in complete control of the situation, she inhaled deeply, smelling His scents, letting them mingle in her mind, she could almost taste Him in the air, making her slightly dizzy from the sheer bliss He was about to give her, His hand gripped her glorious mane of dark lush hair firmly, as He teasingly brushed His hardened length across her soft cheek, a low hungry moan escaped her red plump lips , her pink lil tongue darting out to lick them, so hungry with need for the taste of His throbbing, pulsing , cock. His chuckle sending a shiver down her spine , as her blood boiled in her veins, she was on fire for a taste, just a taste and she would float into that glorious place she knew so well , where His scent, His mark would wrap around her, coarsing through her veins, making her come alive as her mouth absorbed, savoured such a blissful sensation, she gasped in pure erotic pleasure as He rubbed the head of His shaft over her lips in a feather soft movement, her tongue sliding slowly out to lick around it, bathing it, shuddering delicately she basked in the taste, the pure maleness as her lips slowly closed around the head, her pussy becoming drenched with juices as she began to suckle the head, soft slow sucks, her tongue darting all over, He held her hair firmly as she performed for Him, the taste of pre cum upon her swollen lips like ambrosia..............to be continued

....................Kink............................................


the day had been a long one, with it's usual chaos, i so needed a hot shower, undoing my cream colored blouse, i let it slip to the floor, standing infront of the mirror as i viewed my full breasts, snugly held in a red leather bra,smiling slightly, i undo the clasps, lettiing the bra hang open, exposing my flesh,my nipples big and hard, cupping them , i run my tongue over each nipple shivering as i let my mind begin to wander......................................................................

There He was again, silent as usual, another party, another lonely night,my emerald green dress fit snugly, only reaching just under my ass cheeks, i wasnt wearing panties, wishing to be free, just in case....as the night wore on i became so hot, before long i knew i needed to relieve the tension in me from watching Him.....slipping behind a tall potted plant, i placed my high heeled toe upon it's base, running my hand down to feel how very wet i was, i moaned low, biting my lip to keep silent,as i brought up the image of Him in my head, as if was His hand,stroking my c*nt,getting it wetter,more excited, whimpering so softly , my other hand begining to pinch my nipples , each in turn, as my excitement grows, seeing myself,pushed against the wall, His cock sliding into me firmly,my legs wrapped around His waist, as He takes His pleasure of me,pounding into my tight wet hungry c*nt,His cock hard and throbbing as He begins slamming in and out of me,my cries growing in volume with each forceful thrust,my back pressed into the rough wall, His hand gripping my hair, the sensations powerful as they ripple thru me, my body burning from such use, feeling like a dirty lil whore, i grip His cock hard with my muscles, using them to please Him further.......................................................................my eyes drift open as my body gets more excited,a startled gasp escapes my lips as standing there not 3 ft away was the very Man i was thinking of, He stood watching me, i went to straighten up, a slight flush upon my cheeks, when He just shook His head, oh god i thought,knowing His meaning, as my foot went back upon the potted tree base.............to be continued.winks....time to finish the story.....as my foot went back upon the tree base my eyes locked with Yours,letting You see all that i felt, my hand shook as i slid it back to my pussy,the tingle of fear i felt , making me even wetter , as i opened up letting You see into my soul, overcome with the sensations, i closed my eyes with a soft whimper, as my fingers began to slide in and out of my hot  pussy
, knowing You are watching, Feeling Your eyes upon me, my fingers move faster as i imagine Your cock slamming in and out of me roughly, when i suddenly feel Your hand grip my hair,my hand drops away as my eyes fly open in time to be whipped around, and slammed against the wall, Your other hand gripping my waist as You push my hips out a bit,and slam Your cock into my greedy fuck hole, biting my lip to muffle the cries, as You whisper in my ear, you are a hot lil bitch who has been eyeing Me for a long while, moaning low ,to out of it to reply as Your cock begins slamming, in and out of me with such force, my forehead bangs against the wall.....mmm to be continued i think *grins*