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Petronius

Petronius

Petronius - photo 1
Petronius - photo 2
Petronius - photo 3

Dom with devilish imagination seeks sub with whom to communicate and play. Psychological understanding of yourself is important; humor is vital. The phrases safe/sane and drug/disease free should go without saying (but, sadly, don't).

My central interest is erotic exploration and I'm willing to focus almost everything else around that. Unlike most Doms who advertise the static thing they offer I am interested in a process, a moving series of interlinked experiences as opposed to some massive horsepill-sized "scene." Because of this I don't draw the same type of experienced/novice, heavy/light dichotomies that others do.

So much ostensibly-heavy "edge play" seems tepid to me. It is a mere matter of gear-box communication where the couple learns what each means by "1st gear, 2nd gear, 3rd gear (187th gear?), reverse, stop." Everything after that is mere hand-eye co-ordination that lets you hit what you aim at.

On the other hand I know people who seem ashamed that they're considered "novices."

Let me try to better tell you who I am by creating two imaginary situations at Paddles.

One woman is there every night and is being worked over with a 15-pound rhino-hide flogger. She's enjoying the sensation and the wild endorphin blast it's producing but beyond the chemically-produced consciousness doesn't have a thought in her head.

Another woman is at Paddles for the first time. She's been put into a (barely) see-through blouse by her Dom and notices that many men and a few women are looking at her breasts. She's swept by a variety of different contradictory emotions and desires, believes she never should have come to the club and yet feels her nipples hardening as she thinks that.

To my sense of play the second woman is far more into real edge play that the first. The "novice" is risking things and is pushing her limits.

The woman with the rhino flogger is merely experiencing and while her experiences may be intensely pleasurable they are things she's often experienced before. Now I am not the fellow to drop a flogger on a dirty dungeon floor, but, everything else being equal, I'd rather play and experiment with the second woman.

Unfortunately there's an enormous amount of bullshit in the scene as people deliberately miscommunicate. Folks are notoriously inaccurate in their self-descriptions. So let me tell you some of the things I'm not into as opposed to standard Dom-talk about what I am and what I can provide.

I'm not interested in a 24/7 relationship. I don't want to devote all of my free time to another person in the limited guise of being a "Master" and certainly would not want a woman who needed such a thing.

I'm not looking for a slave. To quote Groucho Marx "I refuse to be a member of any club whose standards are so low as to permit somebody like me to become a member." Similarly, I am not interested in having as a slave any woman who would want to be one.

I'm not interested in a relationship limited to endorphinism. I'm not going to be your unpaid pusher. I have no problem if your desires are limited to four-hour endorphin blasts but I'm just not the person to provide them. On the other hand, I'd have fun working with the occasional endorphin-loading that would last for as much of a long weekend as we could make it. The difference is "occasional, in addition to lots of other things" as opposed to "all the time to the exclusion of everything else."

I also hear Doms and subs, men and women complain about miscommunication and the deliberate disregard of explicit statements.

I don't have a large toybag and don't want one. Like the alchemists of old I would rather make my own instruments for specific purposes to play with unique people. I'm not interested in saying, "Look at this wonderful toy I bought today." I am interested in saying (and have said) "Look at this tiny little nothing of a rope flogger and now imagine how its twin will feel because I've stiffened the strands with beeswax."

You may ask "Are you man and Dom enough to disregard my 'no' and force me into submission?"

I value honesty and directness so I'm not even "Dom enough" to be interested in you and my idea of a fun time does not include dealing with the "Brat."

Similarly, I hear Doms complaining of subs who inquire "Can you see through the constant mist of misinformation that I'll through up?" Don't ask me that. I don't know. One reason I don't know is that I won't try.

I can respect hard limits. And I don't want to smash soft limits with a sledgehammer; I've been told I'm awfully good at seducing those out of the way.

"Once size fits all" eroticism doesn't work.

Want to explore mutual possibilities together?

For those interested in such things, here's my personality rating on the 'Big Five Personality Test/Traits: O93-C47-E37-A63-N7.

     O "Openness scale:" very high for culture, desire for new experiences, toleration for new ideas, etc.
     C "Compassion scale:" middle of the road for things like self-discipline, duty, planning v. spontaneous behavior;
     E "Extroversion scale:" slightly introverted, otherwise read "shy" (damnit!);
     A "Agreeableness scale:" high on compassion v. suspiciousness and cooperation v. antagonism
     N "Neuroticism scale:"  very low on this, but I'm not going to tell the Little Man who lives inside my head and makes me do bad things.

Overall, save for a wish to be more extroverted I'm content with myself.

 

My practice with the cane took an unusual turn. I managed to get to about 250,000 strokes and then came down with "tennis elbow." If I didn't have a sense of humor that would be damned embarrassing; however, since I have a sense of humor it is still damned embarrassing. On the other hand, I put the canes aside long enough for the problem to heal and I'm about to start up again, albeit in a less intense way.

Meanwhile, I've come down with a nasty medical problem, neither fatal nor contagious, that's going to keep me away from active real world exploration probably through the summer. Given this, I want to take the time I have to post more to the message boards and write some letters to people who I think had some interesting points in their profiles.

Over the past several months I've run into various writings in profiles and on boards that I found interesting and that caused me to think. I want to take this opportunity to work through those thoughts. I find it easiest to do when I'm writing things down and I find it easiest to write when I'm writing to people.
 

I've been out of communication with almost everyone and thought I'd take this opportunity to add a few things to my profile.

My 100,000 cane stroke summer came and went successfully (with a bit 100,000 strokes.) I'm now on a million stroke training regime (1,000 a day for 1,000 days). It does improve one's ability to hit what one aims at and I haven't really broken any canes.

Some people have read this and said "Wow! You must really be focused on canes." No. I'm not. I've simply wanted one tool for rough play and selected the cane. I enjoy playing with without needing them. I've had wonderful times with canes; I've had wonderful times without them.

Also, for reasons having nothing to with the "Scene" I need to get more discipline in my life; the focus on canes helps since I see no reason why necessary life tasks can't contain a bit of decadence.

Things I Like:

Some time ago I got a wonderfully critical note for a submissive who wrote, in essence, "Your profile does a wonderful job of what you're not into but it doesn't really say much about what you like." Ergo:

I find Japanese shunga to be more erotic than most of today's more realistic depictions of bodies in motion.

I love the food scene in "Tom Jones" and the bath scene seen at Bath in "Joseph Andrews."

I find more erotic play potential in the description of de Sade's France in Irwin Bloch's bio of de Sade than in de Sade's writings (extra points if you locate the public-domain copy of Bloch on the net).

I'm more taken by the reality of Casanova's autobiography than in almost all of today's erotic fiction.

I greatly prefer Laura Antoniou's public performances than her novels and I am exceedingly fond of her performances.

"Emmanuelle" had a number of hot potentialities unfortunately spoiled by really bad French sexualized philosophy.

I find it difficult to believe how people can work so hard to generate such trite "erotic" fiction published on the net.

Even when I'm not taken with the contents of one of Anais Nin's erotic short stories, I usually find it more erotic than today's mechanical "Gidget Goes to A Dungeon" type of thing. Nin showed people coming up against the combination of their desires and their limits. Gidget is just into the "Oh, no, Sir Simon Ten and One Half Inches! Don't put that in me!"

On the other hand, Philip Jose Farmer's "Image of the Beast" has more hard-core sado-masochism than most novels explicitly advertised as part of the "Scene." But then I am, thank god, a Dom.

On the other hand, I am amazed at the idiocy of the male lead in "9 1/2 Weeks" in pushing the woman too far and too fast.

I like simple over complex: I like simple canes over elaborate ones and canes over riding crops. I like hand-finished hemp rope over cotton or nylon and rope over metal for bondage. I like natural fibers over artificial ones and like the simplicity of cotton and leather over silk and wool. In color, I like white and black over red and green.

My favorite outfit in a sub then would be nothing at all, or some plain black leather corset, although simple jeans and a white t-shirt sans bra has a certain humble elegance. But while I have a strong stomach, I don't think I could handle a pair of rayon crotchless panties with lots of ruffles in green and purple. (Even I have limits!)