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  • Submissive, physically very fit, pretty well-educated. Considered good-looking by, um, lots of people and not just my Mum. Got enough of a sense of humour to get published for it on occasion. Doh! What else can I say? Hopeless at this sort of thing. Can touch my nose with my tongue . . .er . . .

Seeking a Lady (not entirely sure that's the right word) with her own spark. She'd be dominant in the way she wants to be dominant, whatever her conception of that word. She needn't dress this or that way if she doesn't want to, needn't be cold, severe or aggressive unless she wants to be - she just needs to enjoy being dominant, when and how she wants to be dominant. Her enjoying having a dominant streak - or even more than a mere "streak" - is is the main thing for me. Yes, I know this sounds sappy and soppy - but it's true.
She'd be attractive and she'd be no dimwit. I need to be able to hold conversations with her. If she's also outgoing and active, so much the better. And she'd be single. There might be much that's odd about me, but I'm still a one-at-a-time kind of guy. What else would she be? Someone I can talk to, has thoughts and emotions like all real people. Someone with whom I could one day imagine holding hands in some little restaurant next to a beach in Greece.

Ok, before you start to retch: what else? She'd have a sense of humour. She doesn't need to make me laugh, but I've got to be able to make her laugh (my ego starts to wither and die, otherwise!). She might have to put up with some piano-playing and the fact that I like to go hiking and climbing (too much to ask that a female partner will ever want to do that, I suppose. I've met more female firefighters and boxers than climbers. Ah well . . .). And the fact that I can never find small but essential items around the house - on account of I'm a bloke, you see.

But also because I'm a bloke, I'm brilliant at DIY. I can even do electrics and plumbing. AND I own a boiler suit. Phwoargh, eh? :-)

More details and/photos, if you want them, by email. I'll even send you a scan of an article I wrote recently for a national newspaper, if you ask nicely (or coldly, severely, aggressively, etc, etc!).



UPDATED: - this puts it better:

Everything starts from psychological submission for me. Without that feeling, nothing that's done feels like more than "going through the motions". With it, almost everything can be a turn-on - from the mildest order to the unmentionable. Likewise, if I know a Domme feels like a Domme to herself (at least some of the time), I'm happy.

If you really, truly, want to know what I fantasise about, go to Ferns's Domme blog at Read any story you like and that'll be me in it. Well, I can wish.

If anyone's read the above - would you mind messaging me an answer to the following question? Do I still come across as a complete sap (transl.: 'soft git' for UK readers)?

I like to make myself and others laugh. Where I make humorous comments, these should not necessarily be taken to imply dislike, disdain, aggressive feelings of any kind(including "passive aggression", howsoever defined), latent psychopathy, sexual attraction, a willingness to submit and be a slave for life, or an offer of marriage. Any one of those could be involved, but probably isn't.
Sorry, but I'll need either to know you, or to have seen that you've read this profile, in order for me to reply to you. I also won't add you as a 'friend' unless you are a friend.

7/6/2012 2:02:03 PM

I apologise if I've become slow in replying to cmails and have become neglectful of my friends as a result.  Stress is one cause; being a miserable farquer is the other.  


One day soon I'm sure both stress and misery will fade away and I shall be able to arrange to be *cheerful* and *chirpy* again. 


Forget all the sensitive stuff I've written in my profile.  I just want a bonk. 

4/26/2010 5:06:04 PM
My new friend is a friend, and I'm glad she's my friend.
3/16/2010 12:42:21 PM
I have a new friend, and she is fun.
3/16/2010 12:41:11 PM
It was my birthday recently.  I'm now . . . much too fjoeken OLD!!
6/20/2009 9:55:09 AM
I've added a picture of myself to show that I am indeed capable, on occasion, of wearing clothes.  Thank you to the kind lady who wrote to tell me that in that pic I look like a gay and slightly psychopathic elf.
10/27/2008 6:02:12 AM
I find that the more stupid the question I ask, the better the knowledge I get as a result. 

Please be prepared for this ;-)
10/19/2008 8:17:31 AM
I did have a little fantasy in here, but decided to delete it because it was too, well, too full of emotion for it to feel right here.  Some like to know a man's deeper feelings straight off, some don't.  It doesn't describe what I like to "do" but what could go through me, as a sub, during erotic activities of many kinds.  Or maybe of just the best kinds.  I'll send it if asked. 
10/13/2008 4:39:26 AM
I always feel like kneeling, or bowing, when I see a woman naked, in front of me.  It's funny that one part of me wants to shoot skyward at exactly the same time. . . .

But I never did bow, till I went to bed with the very first woman I knew to be a Domme.  Seeing her smile, looking at that expression that was a mixture of lust and satisfaction, her saying quietly, approvingly, 'good boy', now that was the real thrill for me. 

Hah! If you only knew the contradiction.  Jean Jacques Rousseau's got nothing on me.
10/12/2008 1:21:30 PM
OK, I think I'm going to start getting steamy, bit by bit . . .

The first time I saw a girl naked, when I was seventeen, I two equally strong sensations at the same time.  One was the obvious -the giant ache in my groin, the other was to bow.  Everything about the way she looked, lying on her bed, looking up at me as I undressed, made me want to do that.  A voice saying, "this was what you were made to do.  You were made to serve all that's She". 
10/10/2008 7:20:13 PM
I've downgraded the following to a journal entry. It was originally in my profile, but I was told it wasn't necessary.  I'm not so sure.  Some things seem so straightforward to me, yet they're not so easy to convey across the ocean that sometimes seems to separate the minds of subs and dominants.

Two things I have to spell out

 . . . in light of some of the comments I've had so far.  Please remember that I'm only a male - a male who accepts a man's role and has a male's intuitive (in)ability.  So,

1.)  I don't demand.  I can't demand - it's not me.  A Domme demands and her sub obeys.  That's how it works for me.

2.)  If you and I start to communicate, I'll talk vanilla unless you tell me (or show me clearly by means of your tone), to do otherwise.  And I'll stop doing one or the other when you say, too.  I'm very happy either way.

Thank you. 
10/9/2008 4:45:42 AM

Received a note from a kind advisor today.  I'd put in some explicit details about what I'd done, or had had done to me, in the past.  "Your journal's not the place for it", she said. "All that comes later".  She was right, so I've deleted it.  I only wanted to show that I don't shock easily.  It doesn't matter to me, anyway - I just have to know that she's enjoying it, whatever "it" is.  You probably get the picture by now . . .

10/8/2008 5:55:45 PM
 . . .  And new pic on its way.  I'm sorry, I just don't do big beaming smiles in photos.  Can't bring myself to, somehow.  Feel too much of a, hmm, what's the word . . .
10/3/2008 5:37:04 PM
One thing I hate to see in a Domme (though I've only seen it once):

Any kind of desperate look in her eyes - as though she's frantic to work out some new way to be dominant that'll "interest me".  No, no, no - it's so painful for me to see.  Wrong premise.  I want her to please herself, not me.  If nothing inspires her that way, then she's welcome just to take me "back to the vanilla world" till she feels inspired again.

Or she could give me a job to do.  Yes, there's always that ;-)

10/3/2008 12:46:17 PM

Deleted the age range stipulation in my profile.  It occurred to me today (after a  message from a certain lady) that it could debar me from a wonderful experience in the future.  Or even a continously wonderful experience.

Head back out of the clouds, boy, you've an article to write . . .

10/2/2008 6:10:10 PM
This is all so exciting for me.  At 37, I should know better, I should be cynical ( I am about most things) . . .

But it really DOES seem that there are true Dommes out there - women who know, deep down, that a man should be owned and his life ruled by a woman.  Or at least certain men, of which I'm one.

Hmm.  I've been told once already that I'm a "naive sap".  Well, so be it. I've done cynicism and got the T shirt.  Female domination is pure beauty to me and I think I can find it in a real, live woman. 

Women keep asking "yes, but what things turn you on?" - and I can only say one thing "to see you dominate, and enjoying it".  Nothing else matters.  It's about You.

Well, watch this space. 
 Age: 44